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1
00:00:03,749 --> 00:00:06,020
(insects chirring)
2
00:00:10,563 --> 00:00:13,034
(vehicle approaching,
music playing)
3
00:00:15,840 --> 00:00:20,749
♪♪ Drivin' circles
around this town ♪♪
4
00:00:22,687 --> 00:00:25,760
♪♪ So many times
I thought about leavin' ♪♪
5
00:00:25,827 --> 00:00:29,601
♪♪ Got my ass kicked
tryin' to com... ♪♪
6
00:00:31,672 --> 00:00:33,742
(metallic creak)
7
00:00:41,157 --> 00:00:44,865
Good luck not eating this.
8
00:00:44,931 --> 00:00:46,735
Pork buns
9
00:00:46,802 --> 00:00:49,306
from Qian's.
10
00:00:51,812 --> 00:00:53,214
(sighs)
11
00:00:53,281 --> 00:00:55,552
(Alan sighs)
12
00:00:58,759 --> 00:01:01,397
What, are you giving me
the silent treatment?
13
00:01:04,470 --> 00:01:07,910
Doesn't seem very sophisticated
for a therapist.
14
00:01:07,977 --> 00:01:11,183
I'm not your therapist anymore.
I'm your prisoner.
15
00:01:11,250 --> 00:01:14,691
I understand why
you would think that, but...
16
00:01:16,260 --> 00:01:18,832
...you have to...
17
00:01:34,430 --> 00:01:36,801
Don't worry.
It's not a head or anything.
18
00:01:36,868 --> 00:01:39,373
Oh, that's a relief.
19
00:01:41,879 --> 00:01:44,150
You ever heard
of the John Doe Killer?
20
00:01:44,217 --> 00:01:45,753
I think so.
21
00:01:45,820 --> 00:01:47,857
The whole idea was
to make it look like robberies.
22
00:01:47,924 --> 00:01:50,763
So the police didn't get one
of those task forces going.
23
00:01:50,830 --> 00:01:53,936
So, you know, I took...
I took all this.
24
00:01:54,002 --> 00:01:56,407
And...
25
00:01:56,474 --> 00:01:59,279
next think I know, they're
calling me the John Doe Killer
26
00:01:59,346 --> 00:02:00,617
'cause sometimes
it took 'em a few days
27
00:02:00,683 --> 00:02:02,319
to figure out
who these people were
28
00:02:02,385 --> 00:02:03,789
without their IDs and stuff.
29
00:02:03,855 --> 00:02:07,128
And... now I'm kind of stuck
with it.
30
00:02:07,195 --> 00:02:08,431
You believe me now?
31
00:02:08,499 --> 00:02:10,503
You don't think I believed you?
32
00:02:10,570 --> 00:02:12,707
I get why it's easier
for you to think
33
00:02:12,773 --> 00:02:15,179
that maybe
I'm not telling the truth.
34
00:02:15,245 --> 00:02:18,484
I believed you.
35
00:02:27,904 --> 00:02:28,939
Would you like a watch?
36
00:02:29,006 --> 00:02:30,275
No, thanks.
37
00:02:30,341 --> 00:02:32,279
Keep track of time for yourself.
38
00:02:32,346 --> 00:02:34,016
I mean, they still work.
39
00:02:34,083 --> 00:02:36,353
Most of 'em.
40
00:02:41,798 --> 00:02:43,869
♪♪ ♪♪
41
00:02:53,655 --> 00:02:56,260
♪♪ ♪♪
42
00:03:10,856 --> 00:03:13,963
BETH:
It's hard at first for everyone,
43
00:03:14,029 --> 00:03:16,200
but especially someone like you.
44
00:03:16,969 --> 00:03:18,238
Someone like me?
45
00:03:18,305 --> 00:03:19,908
So in your head.
46
00:03:19,974 --> 00:03:24,383
That's where everything takes
place, including meditation.
47
00:03:24,450 --> 00:03:27,255
Like I said,
it's hard for someone like you.
48
00:03:27,322 --> 00:03:28,825
(mutters mockingly)
49
00:03:29,928 --> 00:03:32,432
(laughs)
50
00:03:34,270 --> 00:03:36,508
(door opens)
51
00:03:52,907 --> 00:03:55,278
I'll be home by 5:00.
52
00:03:59,253 --> 00:04:01,958
(metallic creak)
53
00:04:03,495 --> 00:04:05,432
(chains dragging on floor)
54
00:04:05,499 --> 00:04:07,937
(truck engine starts)
55
00:04:23,802 --> 00:04:25,739
(sighs)
56
00:04:44,476 --> 00:04:46,815
(groans softly)
57
00:04:46,881 --> 00:04:48,417
(soft clicking)
58
00:04:48,484 --> 00:04:50,656
(softly):
Oh, come on.
59
00:04:54,029 --> 00:04:55,732
(grunts)
60
00:04:58,170 --> 00:05:00,242
(rattling)
61
00:05:00,308 --> 00:05:02,913
Shit.
62
00:05:04,984 --> 00:05:06,521
(groans)
63
00:05:06,588 --> 00:05:09,628
-(grunts)
-(rattling)
64
00:05:09,694 --> 00:05:11,296
Oh, fuck.
65
00:05:11,363 --> 00:05:13,033
(groans)
66
00:05:17,442 --> 00:05:20,381
(grunting)
67
00:05:29,132 --> 00:05:30,669
(groans)
68
00:05:31,905 --> 00:05:33,809
(sighs)
69
00:05:33,876 --> 00:05:35,880
Ah.
70
00:05:35,946 --> 00:05:37,884
Okay.
71
00:05:37,950 --> 00:05:40,021
(panting)
72
00:05:57,255 --> 00:05:59,827
(rattling upstairs)
73
00:06:02,198 --> 00:06:06,006
(scraping and thudding upstairs)
74
00:06:24,744 --> 00:06:26,581
Thai food tonight.
75
00:06:28,719 --> 00:06:30,689
I got us Kaeng tai pla.
76
00:06:30,756 --> 00:06:34,664
This place makes their own sauce
using fermented fish entrails,
77
00:06:34,731 --> 00:06:37,770
which I know sounds gross,
but it gives it a lot of flavor.
78
00:06:37,837 --> 00:06:40,943
And then, Khanom moa gang.
They use
79
00:06:41,009 --> 00:06:43,380
taro and duck eggs.
That's dessert.
80
00:06:43,447 --> 00:06:45,819
You usually can't find it
this way.
81
00:06:46,955 --> 00:06:48,692
(grunting)
82
00:07:12,005 --> 00:07:15,444
I don't think you can open that
with a plastic fork.
83
00:07:27,537 --> 00:07:30,374
After I do it,
84
00:07:30,441 --> 00:07:33,748
I'm... just...
85
00:07:34,517 --> 00:07:36,588
I bet most people couldn't...
86
00:07:36,654 --> 00:07:39,225
feel like that.
87
00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:41,531
It's not a normal feeling.
88
00:07:42,332 --> 00:07:46,173
It's more like... dead.
89
00:07:46,239 --> 00:07:48,678
I need to get better.
90
00:07:48,745 --> 00:07:51,317
Isn't that what you...
enjoy doing?
91
00:07:51,383 --> 00:07:56,026
Isn't healing people?
92
00:07:57,930 --> 00:08:01,036
I brought you here
so we could work together.
93
00:08:02,807 --> 00:08:06,313
I know you hate it, but...
94
00:08:06,380 --> 00:08:10,254
if you're not going
to be a part of the process,
95
00:08:10,321 --> 00:08:12,760
where is that gonna leave us?
96
00:08:21,143 --> 00:08:23,213
♪♪ ♪♪
97
00:08:30,563 --> 00:08:32,766
(chains jingling)
98
00:08:38,477 --> 00:08:41,049
(chains jingling)
99
00:09:03,094 --> 00:09:07,301
Successful therapy requires
a safe environment.
100
00:09:07,368 --> 00:09:11,443
The patient and the therapist
have to be able
101
00:09:11,511 --> 00:09:15,752
to dig into...
complicated emotional territory
102
00:09:15,819 --> 00:09:20,596
without anything like fear
103
00:09:20,662 --> 00:09:23,735
hanging over every session.
104
00:09:26,608 --> 00:09:29,279
I don't know
what to do about that.
105
00:09:33,688 --> 00:09:35,526
At least I want you...
106
00:09:35,593 --> 00:09:40,301
to make me a promise that while
we are in therapy together,
107
00:09:40,368 --> 00:09:45,345
that you will not commit
any acts of physical violence
108
00:09:45,411 --> 00:09:48,785
against me or anyone else
109
00:09:48,851 --> 00:09:51,190
unless you talk to me first.
110
00:09:51,257 --> 00:09:54,597
You mean you want me
to talk to you before I...?
111
00:09:54,664 --> 00:09:56,199
Yes.
112
00:09:56,266 --> 00:09:58,672
-So you can talk me out of it?
-So I can
113
00:09:58,739 --> 00:10:01,678
try to help you...
114
00:10:01,745 --> 00:10:03,682
get out of it.
115
00:10:03,749 --> 00:10:07,489
So together,
we can try to understand
116
00:10:07,557 --> 00:10:11,831
where this terrible need is
coming from, and to address it.
117
00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:15,639
You have no idea what it's like.
118
00:10:15,705 --> 00:10:18,310
-I understand.
-These fucking people...
119
00:10:18,377 --> 00:10:22,218
I work with a lot of people
with very serious,
120
00:10:22,285 --> 00:10:25,358
almost impossible-to-resist
compulsions.
121
00:10:25,424 --> 00:10:30,067
Making this kind of commitment
is key to the process.
122
00:10:32,439 --> 00:10:36,046
-I don't think it's the same.
-I'm not saying it's the same.
123
00:10:42,359 --> 00:10:44,429
I'll do my best.
124
00:11:05,806 --> 00:11:07,442
(sighs)
125
00:11:07,509 --> 00:11:09,780
(clattering upstairs)
126
00:11:11,517 --> 00:11:14,455
(soft clattering continues)
127
00:11:19,633 --> 00:11:22,906
(birds singing)
128
00:11:24,877 --> 00:11:27,148
(sighs)
129
00:11:29,687 --> 00:11:32,727
(inhales, exhales)
130
00:11:32,793 --> 00:11:35,565
And actually,
it was my wife's idea.
131
00:11:35,632 --> 00:11:38,404
Uh, she's known
Chava's mother her whole life.
132
00:11:38,470 --> 00:11:43,080
So, if we have anyone to thank,
it's the rebbetzin.
133
00:11:43,147 --> 00:11:45,017
Chava can keep up with your son
134
00:11:45,084 --> 00:11:48,290
in-in both the intellectual area
and with humor.
135
00:11:48,357 --> 00:11:50,461
Oh.
136
00:11:51,463 --> 00:11:52,767
I'm so sorry.
137
00:11:52,833 --> 00:11:54,537
I should have brought
a real knife.
138
00:11:54,604 --> 00:11:55,538
-Oh, no, no.
-No.
139
00:11:55,605 --> 00:11:56,941
It's fine.
140
00:12:02,251 --> 00:12:04,790
(exhales)
141
00:12:12,004 --> 00:12:14,175
-I was going to eat that.
-This isn't funny.
142
00:12:14,242 --> 00:12:17,917
ALAN: I'm upset, too,
but we need to let him be.
143
00:12:17,983 --> 00:12:19,453
Oh, please don't tell me
you don't hate this
144
00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:20,789
just as much as I do.
145
00:12:20,855 --> 00:12:22,392
He's rebelling, Beth.
146
00:12:22,459 --> 00:12:24,162
Everyone does it.
147
00:12:25,130 --> 00:12:26,901
(exhales)
148
00:12:31,578 --> 00:12:34,449
(chains jingling)
149
00:12:34,517 --> 00:12:36,419
(sighs)
150
00:12:42,331 --> 00:12:45,305
So, should I tell you more
about my life?
151
00:12:45,371 --> 00:12:47,174
Sure.
152
00:12:50,516 --> 00:12:52,853
(sighs)
153
00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:54,288
There's this guy,
154
00:12:54,355 --> 00:12:57,563
uh, and I can't stop
thinking about him.
155
00:12:57,630 --> 00:13:00,635
I wish you knew
what this feels like. Uh...
156
00:13:00,702 --> 00:13:02,907
I did an inspection a while ago
157
00:13:02,973 --> 00:13:06,648
at a... a Greek restaurant
in Garten.
158
00:13:06,714 --> 00:13:09,419
Greek, but a-a modern take.
159
00:13:09,485 --> 00:13:13,027
They do
these moussaka-filled gyozas
160
00:13:13,093 --> 00:13:16,366
that just...
dissolve in your mouth.
161
00:13:16,433 --> 00:13:18,237
I actually used
to go there with my wife,
162
00:13:18,303 --> 00:13:19,941
even before I inspected it.
163
00:13:20,007 --> 00:13:22,112
You're married?
164
00:13:22,178 --> 00:13:24,216
I was.
165
00:13:25,318 --> 00:13:28,057
That was one of those things
I didn't, uh, tell you
166
00:13:28,123 --> 00:13:29,593
'cause I couldn't be
fully truthful.
167
00:13:29,660 --> 00:13:33,701
Anyway, uh, there were items
in the prep cooler
168
00:13:33,768 --> 00:13:35,271
that weren't dated,
169
00:13:35,337 --> 00:13:38,110
and the refrigerator door seal
needed to be replaced.
170
00:13:38,177 --> 00:13:40,549
And these aren't
uncommon things,
171
00:13:40,616 --> 00:13:42,051
but they need to be addressed,
172
00:13:42,118 --> 00:13:44,790
and they affect
a restaurant's rating.
173
00:13:44,857 --> 00:13:47,663
I explained it all to the guy
who runs the place,
174
00:13:47,730 --> 00:13:50,334
the owners' son, and...
175
00:13:50,401 --> 00:13:53,708
he didn't think
it was a big deal.
176
00:13:53,775 --> 00:13:55,913
I told him it was.
177
00:13:55,979 --> 00:13:58,785
He said I should come back
in a week,
178
00:13:58,852 --> 00:14:00,522
and everything would be fixed.
179
00:14:00,589 --> 00:14:02,726
I said the current wait time
for reinspection
180
00:14:02,793 --> 00:14:05,130
in Lincoln County
is seven months.
181
00:14:06,935 --> 00:14:09,372
He thought
I was trying to get a bribe.
182
00:14:10,174 --> 00:14:12,946
And he starts talking to me
183
00:14:13,013 --> 00:14:15,284
in this funny way, like...
184
00:14:17,021 --> 00:14:19,594
...he knows
how things really work,
185
00:14:19,661 --> 00:14:21,865
and I don't,
186
00:14:21,931 --> 00:14:24,436
and I'm just some piece of shit.
187
00:14:25,338 --> 00:14:27,976
And when people talk
to me like that...
188
00:14:35,024 --> 00:14:37,095
Anyway, I just left,
189
00:14:37,162 --> 00:14:40,167
which is what I do
in those situations.
190
00:14:42,405 --> 00:14:44,544
Then a couple weeks later,
my supervisor,
191
00:14:44,610 --> 00:14:48,518
Kyle, tells me
to go back right away
192
00:14:48,585 --> 00:14:51,456
and redo the inspection,
no reason given.
193
00:14:51,523 --> 00:14:53,895
And when I went there,
everything is fixed,
194
00:14:53,962 --> 00:14:56,199
and the guy barely looks at me.
195
00:14:57,334 --> 00:14:59,105
Smug.
196
00:15:03,949 --> 00:15:05,284
When was this?
197
00:15:05,351 --> 00:15:07,757
(smacks lips)
I don't know.
198
00:15:07,823 --> 00:15:10,461
About four months ago.
199
00:15:10,529 --> 00:15:12,933
And I haven't stopped...
200
00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:15,437
thinking about him.
201
00:15:18,210 --> 00:15:20,548
Every single day.
202
00:15:23,120 --> 00:15:25,390
I'm trying not to...
203
00:15:27,997 --> 00:15:31,169
I-I usually can't stop, but...
204
00:15:36,581 --> 00:15:38,684
I don't know
if other people have this.
205
00:15:38,751 --> 00:15:40,287
Do other people have this?
206
00:15:40,354 --> 00:15:43,995
People get obsessed with
interactions they've had, yes.
207
00:15:46,701 --> 00:15:49,172
I-I went back
to the restaurant...
208
00:15:50,942 --> 00:15:53,814
...the same night,
and I parked across the street,
209
00:15:53,881 --> 00:15:56,252
and I waited until they closed.
210
00:16:03,935 --> 00:16:07,576
I've never done anything that
they could trace back to me,
211
00:16:07,643 --> 00:16:10,147
but that night, I...
I was like...
212
00:16:18,731 --> 00:16:21,002
I didn't do it.
213
00:16:25,144 --> 00:16:27,414
How do you think
you managed that?
214
00:16:29,285 --> 00:16:30,856
I don't know.
215
00:16:30,923 --> 00:16:33,427
I didn't want to get caught.
I guess that helped.
216
00:16:34,162 --> 00:16:37,335
And you said
this was about four months ago?
217
00:16:37,401 --> 00:16:39,306
Yeah.
218
00:16:39,372 --> 00:16:41,610
Just before
you came to talk to me.
219
00:16:41,677 --> 00:16:45,552
And you thought
I could help you not hurt him.
220
00:16:49,961 --> 00:16:51,564
Mm-hmm.
221
00:16:53,969 --> 00:16:57,576
I need a pen and paper
for notes.
222
00:17:01,483 --> 00:17:03,053
I really thought through
all the things
223
00:17:03,120 --> 00:17:04,389
that you were going
to need here.
224
00:17:04,456 --> 00:17:06,894
I'm going
to need a pen and paper.
225
00:17:06,961 --> 00:17:11,503
I'm not going to attack you
with a piece of paper. (laughs)
226
00:17:11,570 --> 00:17:15,612
And you can find a pen
that doesn't worry you.
227
00:17:18,116 --> 00:17:20,387
The restaurant guy.
228
00:17:21,958 --> 00:17:24,563
The more time that passes,
229
00:17:24,630 --> 00:17:28,772
the less anyone would connect me
with that place.
230
00:17:29,540 --> 00:17:32,913
I think it's important to note
that you did not hurt him.
231
00:17:32,980 --> 00:17:35,250
But I want to.
232
00:17:36,019 --> 00:17:38,423
I want to right now.
233
00:17:39,827 --> 00:17:42,198
You asked me
to talk to you first.
234
00:17:42,265 --> 00:17:45,103
I am talking to you.
235
00:17:48,443 --> 00:17:50,782
It's not really helping.
236
00:17:55,525 --> 00:17:59,298
You've been holding this in
for four months, Sam.
237
00:17:59,365 --> 00:18:01,637
I get why it's hard.
238
00:18:13,227 --> 00:18:15,164
(inhales sharply)
239
00:18:15,230 --> 00:18:17,168
(exhales)
240
00:18:17,235 --> 00:18:19,506
(muffled urinating)
241
00:18:27,522 --> 00:18:29,793
(urinating continues)
242
00:18:37,241 --> 00:18:39,245
(urinating stops)
243
00:18:39,312 --> 00:18:41,617
(urinating resumes)
244
00:18:43,387 --> 00:18:45,692
(quietly):
Jesus.
245
00:18:50,067 --> 00:18:52,471
(birds singing)
246
00:18:56,213 --> 00:18:57,849
(door opens)
247
00:18:59,887 --> 00:19:01,724
I'm late for work.
248
00:19:01,791 --> 00:19:04,328
Let's have a session
after dinner.
249
00:19:09,239 --> 00:19:12,312
(metallic creak)
250
00:19:12,378 --> 00:19:14,716
(truck engine starts)
251
00:19:19,259 --> 00:19:22,599
(truck departing)
252
00:19:26,239 --> 00:19:28,711
(sighs)
253
00:19:29,980 --> 00:19:31,850
(thudding upstairs)
254
00:19:31,917 --> 00:19:36,693
(footsteps,
floorboards creaking)
255
00:19:41,837 --> 00:19:43,808
(loudly):
Hello?
256
00:19:47,715 --> 00:19:49,786
Hello?
257
00:19:55,030 --> 00:19:57,301
(chains jingling)
258
00:20:02,746 --> 00:20:05,518
(loudly):
Can you hear me up there?
259
00:20:06,286 --> 00:20:08,389
I can hear you!
260
00:20:12,398 --> 00:20:14,536
Are you okay?
261
00:20:18,010 --> 00:20:19,713
Can you talk?
262
00:20:22,318 --> 00:20:25,792
(doors opening)
263
00:20:28,631 --> 00:20:30,902
(footsteps approaching)
264
00:20:32,404 --> 00:20:34,676
(sniffles)
265
00:20:37,883 --> 00:20:39,986
(chains jingling)
266
00:20:44,328 --> 00:20:46,667
Hello.
267
00:22:28,971 --> 00:22:31,409
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
18020
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