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1
00:00:06,652 --> 00:00:11,707
Hey, somebody get the phone!
Will somebody please-
2
00:00:13,386 --> 00:00:16,107
Hello? Oh.
3
00:00:16,307 --> 00:00:18,994
Hey guys, that could have
been a very important call;
4
00:00:19,194 --> 00:00:21,372
somebody might have been
calling up to give us a job.
5
00:00:21,572 --> 00:00:25,522
Look guys, we got to talk
about this whole thing.
6
00:00:25,722 --> 00:00:26,545
What's up, Mike?
7
00:00:26,745 --> 00:00:29,402
Hear ye, hear ye, hear ye, and
everything else that goes with it.
8
00:00:29,602 --> 00:00:32,787
Whereas we have not had a job in
three or four weeks, right?
9
00:00:32,987 --> 00:00:35,304
- Right.
- Right.
10
00:00:37,035 --> 00:00:39,620
And whereas, uh,
there's got to be somebody
11
00:00:39,820 --> 00:00:41,533
in this world that wants the
use of our talents, right?
12
00:00:41,733 --> 00:00:43,279
Right.
13
00:00:48,254 --> 00:00:49,668
And whereas nobody answers the phone,
14
00:00:49,868 --> 00:00:52,638
and nobody's ever here even if
somebody did call for a job,
15
00:00:52,838 --> 00:00:54,213
we should get an answering
service, right?
16
00:00:54,413 --> 00:00:55,767
Right.
17
00:01:00,853 --> 00:01:02,010
Okay, fine. I got the number for
18
00:01:02,210 --> 00:01:03,838
this answering service
out of the phone book,
19
00:01:04,038 --> 00:01:06,629
and we'll just call 'em up.
20
00:01:06,829 --> 00:01:08,773
I mean, you never know how many
new things are going to open up
21
00:01:08,973 --> 00:01:10,645
for you when there's somebody
always there to answer your phone.
22
00:01:10,845 --> 00:01:13,653
You can get jobs and millions of things.
There's always somebody there.
23
00:01:13,853 --> 00:01:15,869
Morning, noon, and night.
Twenty-four hours a day.
24
00:01:16,069 --> 00:01:19,309
They're right there on
the job and never fail.
25
00:01:19,509 --> 00:01:20,933
Well?
26
00:01:21,133 --> 00:01:23,881
Well, there's, there's no answer.
27
00:01:31,275 --> 00:01:36,146
Here we come
Walkin' down the street
28
00:01:36,346 --> 00:01:41,939
We get the funniest looks from
Ev'ry one we meet
29
00:01:42,139 --> 00:01:47,374
Hey, hey, we're the Monkees
And people say we monkey around
30
00:01:47,574 --> 00:01:53,394
But we're too busy singing
To put anybody down
31
00:01:53,794 --> 00:01:59,127
We're just tryin' to be friendly
Come and watch us sing and play
32
00:01:59,227 --> 00:02:05,017
We're the young generation
And we've got something to say
33
00:02:05,217 --> 00:02:10,740
Hey, hey, we're the Monkees
You never know where we'll be found
34
00:02:10,940 --> 00:02:13,314
So you better get ready,
35
00:02:13,514 --> 00:02:17,540
We may be comin' to your town
36
00:02:22,246 --> 00:02:25,862
The Monkees brought
to you by Kellogg's
37
00:02:26,062 --> 00:02:30,134
K-E double L, O double good,
38
00:02:30,334 --> 00:02:33,070
Kellogg's best to you
39
00:02:42,891 --> 00:02:44,544
Well, um, that's our problem, you see.
40
00:02:44,744 --> 00:02:46,368
We'd like to use your answering
service, except, uh-
41
00:02:46,568 --> 00:02:47,391
Well, we're a little short of cash.
42
00:02:47,591 --> 00:02:48,337
Yeah, about that short.
43
00:02:48,537 --> 00:02:50,009
Could you possibly give us a,
a cut rate or something?
44
00:02:50,209 --> 00:02:52,897
See because, as soon as we get a job,
w-we'll pay you the full amount.
45
00:02:53,097 --> 00:02:55,489
Did you boys say you
was looking for a job?
46
00:02:55,689 --> 00:03:00,683
Well, why didn't you say so? You!
You know how to work a telephone?
47
00:03:00,883 --> 00:03:05,689
Yes, yes, I do. Hello? Hello?
This one's broken.
48
00:03:05,889 --> 00:03:10,239
Boys, I'll make you a deal.
You stay here and take care of my phones,
49
00:03:10,439 --> 00:03:12,208
I'll pay you the regular salary,
50
00:03:12,408 --> 00:03:14,137
and I'll throw in the service free.
51
00:03:14,337 --> 00:03:15,873
What do you say?
Do you want to take the job?
52
00:03:16,073 --> 00:03:16,624
No, thank you.
53
00:03:16,824 --> 00:03:18,226
Wait a minute,
will you please? Huh.
54
00:03:18,426 --> 00:03:20,256
No, we can't, you see,
because we're musicians.
55
00:03:20,456 --> 00:03:24,296
Great! You can listen
to the dial tone. Ha!
56
00:03:24,496 --> 00:03:26,464
She's crazy.
Let's get out of here.
57
00:03:26,664 --> 00:03:28,128
Hey, wait a minute.
Where you going?
58
00:03:28,328 --> 00:03:30,089
Uh, well, we're going
to talk it over. Huh.
59
00:03:30,289 --> 00:03:31,712
Talk, talk.
What's to talk about?
60
00:03:31,912 --> 00:03:34,312
Don't you realize the
chance I'm giving you?
61
00:03:34,512 --> 00:03:38,608
You can be the warm heart
of this cruel world.
62
00:03:38,808 --> 00:03:40,407
In the cold world, there are men-
63
00:03:40,607 --> 00:03:44,570
whose very existence depends on us in
64
00:03:44,770 --> 00:03:48,850
the answering service and
you can be part of it.
65
00:03:49,050 --> 00:03:54,603
This city will be in your fingers.
66
00:03:54,803 --> 00:03:59,049
Come, answer their phones.
67
00:03:59,249 --> 00:04:00,294
How can we turn that down?
68
00:04:00,494 --> 00:04:02,150
I don't want to be a murderer.
69
00:04:02,350 --> 00:04:04,352
We'll do it.
We'll do it. Anything!
70
00:04:04,552 --> 00:04:07,983
Good! Oh, I forgot to mention.
71
00:04:08,183 --> 00:04:12,183
In bringing all this warmth
and happiness to the world,
72
00:04:12,383 --> 00:04:15,384
don't get involved with the clients.
73
00:04:15,584 --> 00:04:17,215
Well, which one of you
is on the first shift?
74
00:04:17,415 --> 00:04:19,094
- Me!
- I'll do it! I'll do it!
75
00:04:19,294 --> 00:04:21,679
Hold it! Wait a minute.
Let's, uh, decide this democratically.
76
00:04:21,879 --> 00:04:22,447
We'll choose fingers.
77
00:04:22,647 --> 00:04:24,910
Yes, I choose that one.
Ooh, I won! I won.
78
00:04:25,110 --> 00:04:29,942
That means that I've got
the city in my fingertips.
79
00:04:30,142 --> 00:04:31,895
How come Mike always wins?
80
00:04:32,095 --> 00:04:34,262
He has six fingers on that hand.
81
00:04:34,462 --> 00:04:37,102
Hey, Mike. We'll relieve you
in a couple of hours, alright?
82
00:04:37,302 --> 00:04:38,517
- Goodbye, Mrs. Drehdal.
- Bye-bye.
83
00:04:38,717 --> 00:04:40,861
- Bye.
- Bye, boys.
84
00:04:41,061 --> 00:04:44,774
Well, so I go to work.
Oh, this is gonna be fun.
85
00:04:44,974 --> 00:04:47,150
Walls and ceilings and
everything and phones,
86
00:04:47,350 --> 00:04:49,624
a veritable sea of telephones,
just multi-colored communicators...
87
00:04:49,824 --> 00:04:51,512
Oh, you'll love it here. Oh yeah.
88
00:04:51,712 --> 00:04:54,248
I mean, just keep in touch and
work and, and love your job. I-
89
00:04:54,448 --> 00:04:55,424
You'll have a swell time here.
90
00:04:55,624 --> 00:04:56,944
It's a wonderful place
you've got here.
91
00:04:57,144 --> 00:05:00,585
Well, now that you boys
are joining the firm,
92
00:05:00,785 --> 00:05:03,943
I can go to Jamaica with a free mind.
93
00:05:04,143 --> 00:05:04,591
Jamaica?!
94
00:05:04,791 --> 00:05:06,880
That's right, honey.
95
00:05:07,080 --> 00:05:11,584
W-w-w-wait a minute! You haven't told
me how to handle any of this stuff.
96
00:05:11,784 --> 00:05:14,095
Why, nothing could be easier!
The phone rings,
97
00:05:14,295 --> 00:05:17,889
ding-a-ling-a-ling, you plug
it in the hole, you answer it,
98
00:05:18,089 --> 00:05:20,496
you write down the message,
when the client calls in,
99
00:05:20,696 --> 00:05:23,241
you give him the message.
What could be easier?
100
00:05:23,441 --> 00:05:25,634
Going to Jamaica.
101
00:05:25,834 --> 00:05:27,841
Wuh, huh, hold it!
102
00:05:28,041 --> 00:05:28,697
Yeah?
103
00:05:28,897 --> 00:05:31,169
I just noticed this red button
here on the wall,
104
00:05:31,369 --> 00:05:33,617
the button here that is on
the wall, that is red.
105
00:05:33,817 --> 00:05:34,960
What's it for?
106
00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:39,834
Push it if you get tired.
Bye-bye, honey.
107
00:05:40,034 --> 00:05:41,744
Bye.
108
00:05:41,944 --> 00:05:46,525
Well, Monkees are notoriously curious;
I'll just push it now.
109
00:05:49,286 --> 00:05:52,018
Hold it, Mrs.
D-there's a bed in the wall.
110
00:05:52,218 --> 00:05:54,526
Oh, I see, if you get tired,
there's a little bed there.
111
00:05:54,726 --> 00:05:58,760
Oh, that's very funny.
Push it and...
112
00:05:58,960 --> 00:06:02,244
there it goes.
Oh, that's clever.
113
00:06:02,444 --> 00:06:05,508
Huh.
114
00:06:05,708 --> 00:06:10,269
Hello? Hello? Hello? Hold it. Hello?
115
00:06:10,469 --> 00:06:13,740
How do you tell which one's
ringing? Hello? Hello?
116
00:06:13,940 --> 00:06:18,797
Hello there. How do you-hello?
Hello? Hello?
117
00:06:18,997 --> 00:06:22,396
Yes. Oh. Urgent
Answering Service.
118
00:06:22,596 --> 00:06:25,058
I had to speak to someone;
I just can't go on.
119
00:06:25,258 --> 00:06:27,715
I'm so terribly alone.
120
00:06:27,915 --> 00:06:32,314
Uh, alone? Um, hold on just
a second. Hello?
121
00:06:32,514 --> 00:06:35,514
Yes, this is Mr. Farfel's-yes,
this is. Mm-hm.
122
00:06:35,714 --> 00:06:37,691
No, he's not in right now.
Can I take a message?
123
00:06:37,891 --> 00:06:41,090
What do you mean
it's none of my business?
124
00:06:41,290 --> 00:06:42,411
Now then, w-what were
you saying, honey?
125
00:06:42,611 --> 00:06:46,322
I just can't go on.
I had to speak to someone.
126
00:06:46,522 --> 00:06:50,075
I'm so terribly alone,
so completely alone.
127
00:06:50,275 --> 00:06:52,402
Wait, w-wait a minute.
Who is this message for?
128
00:06:52,602 --> 00:06:57,873
Who is it for? It's for
the whole rotten world.
129
00:06:58,073 --> 00:06:59,639
The whole rotten world?
No, I'm sorry;
130
00:06:59,839 --> 00:07:03,111
they are not listed-uh,
hold on a second. Hello?
131
00:07:03,311 --> 00:07:03,808
Hello?
132
00:07:04,008 --> 00:07:07,495
No, I'm sorry. You must have a wrong number;
we don't have a telephone. Hello?
133
00:07:07,695 --> 00:07:08,967
Where'd you go? Hello?
134
00:07:09,167 --> 00:07:10,863
Yeah, now wait a minute.
What were you saying?
135
00:07:11,063 --> 00:07:13,207
I just can't go on.
136
00:07:13,407 --> 00:07:13,958
Well-
137
00:07:14,158 --> 00:07:17,480
I'm going to end it all and
don't try and stop me.
138
00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:20,663
No, don't do it, don't do it.
Don't, don't do it, please!
139
00:07:20,863 --> 00:07:22,790
Don't do-wait, wait, wait, stop!
140
00:07:22,990 --> 00:07:24,231
- Hello?
- Hello, where are-
141
00:07:24,431 --> 00:07:25,927
- Where are you?
- Please, can you hear me?
142
00:07:26,127 --> 00:07:26,536
Hello?
143
00:07:26,736 --> 00:07:28,535
- What's with all this ringing?
- Are you there?
144
00:07:28,735 --> 00:07:33,026
Don't do it. Are you there?
Don't do it. Don't. Don't do it.
145
00:07:38,679 --> 00:07:40,887
Ah, he's a sick man.
Sick boy. Yes.
146
00:07:41,087 --> 00:07:42,113
Rub his wrists.
147
00:07:42,313 --> 00:07:43,971
See if you can hear his heartbeat.
148
00:07:44,171 --> 00:07:45,619
I don't hear anything.
149
00:07:45,819 --> 00:07:48,819
Conference, doctors. I'm afraid we're
going to have to take drastic measures.
150
00:07:49,019 --> 00:07:50,505
- Not!
- Yes.
151
00:07:50,705 --> 00:07:52,712
Ah!
152
00:07:56,546 --> 00:07:57,619
Don't do that.
153
00:07:57,819 --> 00:08:01,450
Congratulations, doctors.
A successful operation.
154
00:08:01,650 --> 00:08:02,866
Urgent Answering Service, don't do it.
155
00:08:03,066 --> 00:08:04,682
Oh, alright. We won't do it.
What's he talking about?
156
00:08:04,882 --> 00:08:06,266
That girl.
She's going to end it all.
157
00:08:06,466 --> 00:08:08,130
- What girl?
- On the phone.
158
00:08:08,330 --> 00:08:10,138
I don't see any girl on
the phone. Do you see any-
159
00:08:10,338 --> 00:08:11,490
We've got to get to
her before it's too late.
160
00:08:11,690 --> 00:08:12,698
What's her name?
What's her name?
161
00:08:12,898 --> 00:08:18,843
I don't know her, uh, yellow phone
wire to the... in there. She's in there!
162
00:08:19,043 --> 00:08:20,540
She must be awful skinny.
163
00:08:20,740 --> 00:08:21,770
That's number one forty-six.
164
00:08:21,970 --> 00:08:25,302
One forty-six?
Quick, let's check the files.
165
00:08:25,502 --> 00:08:27,073
Which one?
166
00:08:27,273 --> 00:08:30,918
One forty-seven.
167
00:08:31,118 --> 00:08:31,954
It's not here, Mike!
168
00:08:32,154 --> 00:08:33,348
- We can't find it, Mike.
- I know it's not there; it's here.
169
00:08:33,548 --> 00:08:34,151
Oh.
170
00:08:34,351 --> 00:08:37,333
Ellen Farnsby, four-five-five-four
Blimp Street.
171
00:08:37,533 --> 00:08:40,718
Ha, that's it! Let's go, Micky.
I hope we're not too late.
172
00:08:40,918 --> 00:08:42,278
Hey, wait a minute.
173
00:08:42,478 --> 00:08:44,342
Hey, fellas, maybe you'd
better stick around here.
174
00:08:44,542 --> 00:08:48,238
Yeah, you're not supposed to
get involved with the clients.
175
00:08:48,438 --> 00:08:50,253
Wuh, that-no time for that.
It's a matter of life and death.
176
00:08:50,453 --> 00:08:50,798
Yeah.
177
00:08:50,998 --> 00:08:52,190
Hey, wait a minute, wait a minute.
Where's my hat?
178
00:08:52,390 --> 00:08:54,955
It was-can I have my hat, please?
Hat, please. Come on. Thank you, babe.
179
00:08:55,155 --> 00:08:55,458
Where'd you get that?
180
00:08:55,658 --> 00:08:59,435
From the wardrobe. Come on, let's go.
It's a matter of life and death.
181
00:08:59,635 --> 00:09:01,842
Hey, you know, this is gonna
be great, staying around here.
182
00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:04,410
It's quiet and everything.
Fancy getting paid for nothing.
183
00:09:04,610 --> 00:09:07,115
Ha ha ha ha.
184
00:09:35,738 --> 00:09:38,842
Hey. Hey, what's this?
"Mr. Smith, call Zelda Baby.
185
00:09:39,042 --> 00:09:41,668
Love, love, love. Urgent."
Did Smith call in for this message?
186
00:09:41,868 --> 00:09:42,618
No, why?
187
00:09:42,818 --> 00:09:44,729
I'd better deliver it;
it might be urgent.
188
00:09:44,929 --> 00:09:49,675
Oh. Hey, wait, wait.
Don't-Davy.
189
00:09:58,378 --> 00:10:00,455
- Uh, hello. Are you Mr. Smith?
- Yeah. What do you want?
190
00:10:00,655 --> 00:10:02,600
I've got a message here
for you. It says here,
191
00:10:02,800 --> 00:10:06,343
"Call Zelda Baby.
Love, love, love. Urgent."
192
00:10:06,543 --> 00:10:09,359
But I don't know any Zelda Baby;
it must be a mistake.
193
00:10:09,559 --> 00:10:13,387
A mistake, huh?
I'll "Zelda Baby"-
194
00:10:30,802 --> 00:10:31,637
- Miss Farnsby?
- Ellen?
195
00:10:31,837 --> 00:10:32,823
- Miss Farnsby?
- Ellen Farnsby?
196
00:10:33,023 --> 00:10:36,216
Ellen Farnsby?
Ellen Farn-oh!
197
00:10:36,416 --> 00:10:36,937
Miss Farnsby?
198
00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:40,641
Ooh-woo! Would you
look at this stuff?
199
00:10:40,841 --> 00:10:43,353
Boy, it's nice to see
a girl with a hobby.
200
00:10:43,553 --> 00:10:46,091
I hope we're not too late.
201
00:10:55,879 --> 00:10:56,856
She's not here!
202
00:10:57,056 --> 00:10:59,473
Look at this note. It says,
"It's no use going on. It's all over."
203
00:10:59,673 --> 00:11:01,000
You think that's something?
Look at this note.
204
00:11:01,200 --> 00:11:03,049
It says, "It's no use going on.
It's all over."
205
00:11:03,249 --> 00:11:04,753
I think she's trying
to tell us something.
206
00:11:04,953 --> 00:11:10,666
Her datebook. She says she's
supposed to be at the theater today.
207
00:11:14,081 --> 00:11:18,111
I had to speak to someone.
I can't take any more of this cold city.
208
00:11:18,311 --> 00:11:21,084
Oh, Ellen, that was great,
great, great!
209
00:11:21,284 --> 00:11:24,264
You must have been
rehearsing an awful lot.
210
00:11:24,464 --> 00:11:26,231
Well, I've been living the part;
211
00:11:26,431 --> 00:11:29,026
I've been rehearsing with
my answering service.
212
00:11:29,226 --> 00:11:33,952
Yes, yes, yes! Now, remember:
this is a woman about to give it all up.
213
00:11:34,152 --> 00:11:40,720
Suffer, suffer, suffer. Keep rehearsing.
Live the part. Live, live, live!
214
00:11:40,920 --> 00:11:42,912
I shall, I shall, I shall!
215
00:11:43,112 --> 00:11:46,616
Hello? Urgent An-answering Fer, uh,
serv, uh, ferven, uh, fervor is our,
216
00:11:46,816 --> 00:11:51,736
uh, service is our bi-uh, business is our,
fingers in the city, uh... hello?
217
00:11:51,936 --> 00:11:54,895
This is Manny Spink,
the theatrical booking agent. Yeah.
218
00:11:55,095 --> 00:11:58,280
I've got a little act to place.
Uh-huh. Tell Freddy when
219
00:11:58,480 --> 00:12:00,752
he calls that I've got a
booking for The Popsicles.
220
00:12:00,952 --> 00:12:02,072
The Popsicles?
221
00:12:02,272 --> 00:12:04,105
That's right;
they're a vocal group.
222
00:12:04,305 --> 00:12:05,024
Okay.
223
00:12:05,224 --> 00:12:06,384
Tell 'em they go on the third.
224
00:12:06,584 --> 00:12:07,440
Go on third.
225
00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:09,399
And I can get them
ten thousand dollars.
226
00:12:09,599 --> 00:12:10,592
Pay them ten thousand dollars.
227
00:12:10,792 --> 00:12:11,520
Got that?
228
00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:12,592
I'll give 'em the message.
229
00:12:12,792 --> 00:12:13,814
- Good.
- Good.
230
00:12:14,014 --> 00:12:15,104
Thank you very much.
231
00:12:15,304 --> 00:12:19,169
Gee, Manny, you must be some kind of
genius to have figured out this scheme.
232
00:12:19,369 --> 00:12:21,417
Imagine, placing
gambling bets through
233
00:12:21,617 --> 00:12:24,096
an answering service
without their knowing it.
234
00:12:24,296 --> 00:12:26,825
Mmm, that's right, Arnold.
All I do is pretend that
235
00:12:27,025 --> 00:12:29,625
the horses are vocal groups,
and I'm a booking agent.
236
00:12:29,825 --> 00:12:32,617
With all the crazy names
singing groups have these days,
237
00:12:32,817 --> 00:12:34,816
who'd ever suspect? Ha ha!
238
00:12:35,016 --> 00:12:38,633
It's a cruel world.
I can't stand it anymore. I can't-
239
00:12:38,833 --> 00:12:42,049
Pardon me, please, sir!
Pardon me, sir, uh-
240
00:12:42,249 --> 00:12:43,074
Yes, yes, yes?
241
00:12:43,274 --> 00:12:44,577
Well, we're looking for
a Miss Ellen Farnsby.
242
00:12:44,777 --> 00:12:46,050
We have reason to
believe that she's here.
243
00:12:46,250 --> 00:12:48,954
Yes, yes, yes.
She just departed.
244
00:12:49,154 --> 00:12:49,779
What?!
245
00:12:49,979 --> 00:12:50,723
For her apartment.
246
00:12:50,923 --> 00:12:54,051
Oh. Well, uh, how was
she acting, you know?
247
00:12:54,251 --> 00:12:55,715
How was she acting?
248
00:12:55,915 --> 00:12:57,482
Yeah, was she-
249
00:12:57,682 --> 00:12:59,619
She was nervous,
tense, depressed,
250
00:12:59,819 --> 00:13:05,011
like she wanted to end it all.
Good, good, good, good!
251
00:13:05,211 --> 00:13:09,138
Oh, nervous, tense, depressed.
Ha, she's okay.
252
00:13:09,338 --> 00:13:10,460
Sure. We'd better get
to her apartment fast.
253
00:13:10,660 --> 00:13:12,034
Hey, wait, wait;
I've gotta relieve Peter.
254
00:13:12,234 --> 00:13:14,891
Oh, Peter can wait, man.
255
00:13:22,090 --> 00:13:23,915
Uh, on second thought,
maybe you better go relieve Peter.
256
00:13:24,115 --> 00:13:24,795
Right.
257
00:13:24,995 --> 00:13:26,841
A-ha. Bye.
258
00:13:51,579 --> 00:13:52,427
Yes?
259
00:13:52,627 --> 00:13:53,315
Are you Ellen Farnsby?
260
00:13:53,515 --> 00:13:54,835
Jeffrey!
261
00:13:55,035 --> 00:13:58,220
Oh, I'm not Jeffrey. Uh, I'm, uh,
I'm the Urgent Answering Service,
262
00:13:58,420 --> 00:14:00,708
you see, and, uh, well, you hadn't
called to pick up any of your messages,
263
00:14:00,908 --> 00:14:03,187
so I thought that I'd come
over and see if maybe your phone
264
00:14:03,387 --> 00:14:04,388
was out of order or
something like that.
265
00:14:04,588 --> 00:14:07,331
My phone's alright.
There's never any messages for me;
266
00:14:07,531 --> 00:14:08,659
no one cares if I live or die.
267
00:14:08,859 --> 00:14:10,570
No-no messages? Are you kidding?
Of course there's messages.
268
00:14:10,770 --> 00:14:12,990
They're all over the office.
I have them here.
269
00:14:13,190 --> 00:14:15,694
There are millions of messages
all for Ellen Farnsby just piled up.
270
00:14:15,894 --> 00:14:18,222
Here's one right here.
It says, "Stop on the way home and pick up
271
00:14:18,422 --> 00:14:18,935
some pickles and lettuce
and peanut butter-"
272
00:14:19,135 --> 00:14:19,494
Oh!
273
00:14:19,694 --> 00:14:22,367
Uh, no, wait a minute,
I mean, it says, uh, yeah, it says,
274
00:14:22,567 --> 00:14:24,466
"Dear Ellen. We need you,
we love you. The city wants you.
275
00:14:24,666 --> 00:14:26,706
Don't be depressed.
Don't be unhappy."
276
00:14:26,906 --> 00:14:28,499
Um, but they, they didn't leave a name.
277
00:14:28,699 --> 00:14:30,938
Stop, stop, stop.
It's too late for all that.
278
00:14:31,138 --> 00:14:32,122
There's nothing left.
279
00:14:32,322 --> 00:14:33,537
But, wait a minute, wait a minute.
280
00:14:33,737 --> 00:14:35,994
No! Uh, we, uh, don't want
any condors flying in here.
281
00:14:36,194 --> 00:14:37,091
What are they?
282
00:14:37,291 --> 00:14:40,530
Well, it's a, it's a California state bird.
You know, woo, wah!
283
00:14:40,730 --> 00:14:42,634
Ah!
284
00:14:42,834 --> 00:14:43,913
- Wait, wait.
- Farewell!
285
00:14:44,113 --> 00:14:45,258
- No!
- Give me the knife!
286
00:14:45,458 --> 00:14:47,417
- Um, no, well, I need it.
- What for?
287
00:14:47,617 --> 00:14:49,425
- I want to use it on the condors.
- The what?
288
00:14:49,625 --> 00:14:52,930
The condors. Big bird,
you know, big beak and wak wak.
289
00:14:53,130 --> 00:14:54,467
- Poison is faster.
- Wait!
290
00:14:54,667 --> 00:14:56,636
- Wait, Jeffrey!
- I'm not Jeffrey!
291
00:14:56,836 --> 00:15:01,084
Wait! Oh, Jeffrey.
I'm done all my fighting,
292
00:15:01,284 --> 00:15:05,100
and it's time to act.
It's time to end it all. Farewell!
293
00:15:05,300 --> 00:15:07,324
Oh!
294
00:15:07,524 --> 00:15:11,965
Hello? It's for you.
295
00:15:12,165 --> 00:15:12,755
Hello?
296
00:15:12,955 --> 00:15:13,652
How's the girl?
297
00:15:13,852 --> 00:15:15,924
Oh, she's fine. I, uh, kept her
from jumping out the window,
298
00:15:16,124 --> 00:15:17,644
and stabbing herself,
and, uh, taking poison.
299
00:15:17,844 --> 00:15:18,920
Well, as long as it's not serious-
300
00:15:19,120 --> 00:15:20,642
- you'd better get down here.
- Why? What's wrong?
301
00:15:20,842 --> 00:15:22,267
- Peter's missing.
- Missing?
302
00:15:22,467 --> 00:15:23,960
- Did you look on the piano?
- What did he say?
303
00:15:24,160 --> 00:15:26,062
He said, "Did you look on the piano?"
304
00:15:26,262 --> 00:15:28,450
- There's no piano here.
- There's no piano here.
305
00:15:28,650 --> 00:15:31,415
Oh, well, then that's
why he's missing.
306
00:15:33,411 --> 00:15:36,221
- He said th-
- Piano?
307
00:15:36,421 --> 00:15:37,705
It's for you.
308
00:15:37,905 --> 00:15:38,224
Oh. Hello?
309
00:15:38,424 --> 00:15:40,113
For my last wish, will you help me?
310
00:15:40,313 --> 00:15:43,168
Oh, sure. You mean, you're going
to tie this to the chandelier,
311
00:15:43,368 --> 00:15:44,577
and then you're gonna
stand on the chair,
312
00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:46,760
and then you're gonna, pwop,
kick the chair out from under you.
313
00:15:46,960 --> 00:15:47,568
How'd you guess?
314
00:15:47,768 --> 00:15:52,199
Well, I read a lot. Oh look,
Ellen, let's talk about this.
315
00:15:52,399 --> 00:15:54,262
- Peter?
- Peter?
316
00:15:54,462 --> 00:15:56,101
- Peter? Peter?
- Peter?
317
00:15:56,301 --> 00:15:57,166
Peter?
318
00:15:57,366 --> 00:15:58,612
Ah!
319
00:15:58,812 --> 00:16:00,182
Peter? Come out, come out,
wherever you are.
320
00:16:00,382 --> 00:16:01,974
Hey, do you think
there's been foul play?
321
00:16:02,174 --> 00:16:03,845
I don't know; I didn't even
see the game, a-ha ha. Peter? Peter?
322
00:16:04,045 --> 00:16:07,706
- Peter?
- Peter?
323
00:16:07,906 --> 00:16:09,069
- Hey, Peter?
- Peter? Hey!
324
00:16:09,269 --> 00:16:11,049
- What?
- A red button.
325
00:16:11,249 --> 00:16:13,258
- Shall I push it?
- Push it! Push it!
326
00:16:16,526 --> 00:16:19,173
- Is he alive?
- Was he ever? Huh.
327
00:16:19,373 --> 00:16:21,547
- Peter?
- Peter?
328
00:16:21,747 --> 00:16:23,160
Hm? Where am I?
329
00:16:23,360 --> 00:16:24,792
- You're right here.
- Where's here?
330
00:16:24,992 --> 00:16:26,688
The answering service.
331
00:16:26,888 --> 00:16:28,137
Urgent Answering Service.
Who's calling?
332
00:16:28,337 --> 00:16:30,049
Peter, it's Micky and David.
333
00:16:30,249 --> 00:16:33,191
Davy and Micky? They're not here.
Can I take a message?
334
00:16:33,391 --> 00:16:34,976
Peter, Peter! Wake up!
335
00:16:35,176 --> 00:16:39,216
Huh? Oh, hi guys.
Hey, there was just a call for you.
336
00:16:39,416 --> 00:16:40,070
Thanks.
337
00:16:40,270 --> 00:16:41,215
Peter, what happened?
338
00:16:41,415 --> 00:16:42,839
I don't know; I just
pushed this red button.
339
00:16:43,039 --> 00:16:44,218
- Which red button?
- That one in there.
340
00:16:44,418 --> 00:16:44,769
The little one?
341
00:16:44,969 --> 00:16:46,617
That red button over here? Woo!
This red button over here?
342
00:16:46,817 --> 00:16:49,641
That's right.
343
00:16:49,841 --> 00:16:51,239
Peter? Peter?
344
00:16:51,439 --> 00:16:53,324
Now, look. I know things
get kinda bleak sometimes,
345
00:16:53,524 --> 00:16:58,099
a-and it looks like the whole world
is just running around in circles.
346
00:17:04,837 --> 00:17:09,165
It's no use! People are cruel,
and people are heartless.
347
00:17:09,365 --> 00:17:14,197
Oh, cruel world!
Heartless world!
348
00:17:14,397 --> 00:17:18,149
Alright now, keep your hands up high.
Now, let's talk turkey.
349
00:17:18,349 --> 00:17:21,094
Gobble, gobble, gobble,
gobble, gobble.
350
00:17:21,294 --> 00:17:22,324
What's this all about?
351
00:17:22,524 --> 00:17:25,710
What's this all about?
Did you hear that, Arnold?
352
00:17:25,910 --> 00:17:28,030
Bright boy wants to know
what this is all about.
353
00:17:28,230 --> 00:17:29,309
Yeah, I heard.
354
00:17:29,509 --> 00:17:31,574
It's all about the ten G's
that was supposed to
355
00:17:31,774 --> 00:17:33,485
be placed on Popsicle in
the third race at Belmont.
356
00:17:33,685 --> 00:17:37,356
You mean you've been using this
answering service for placing bets?
357
00:17:37,556 --> 00:17:40,380
Oh, there's another bright boy.
This place is full of bright boys.
358
00:17:40,580 --> 00:17:41,446
Thank you!
359
00:17:41,646 --> 00:17:42,398
You're welcome.
360
00:17:42,598 --> 00:17:45,909
What's the beef? Didn't the
message get delivered?
361
00:17:46,109 --> 00:17:47,685
Sure it did.
But somehow or other,
362
00:17:47,885 --> 00:17:49,292
the ten thousand buck
bet was switched from
363
00:17:49,492 --> 00:17:51,997
Popsicle to Pelican,
and Popsicle won!
364
00:17:52,197 --> 00:17:54,789
That's the most ridiculous thing
I've ever heard in me life.
365
00:17:54,989 --> 00:17:59,327
Why would anybody want to
change a bet like that?
366
00:18:00,365 --> 00:18:03,701
Well, I thought, I didn't know
it was a, a racehorse,
367
00:18:03,901 --> 00:18:05,941
I thought it was a
booking for a gig, and,
368
00:18:06,141 --> 00:18:10,453
and I gave it to The Pelicans
'cause I knew they needed the work.
369
00:18:10,653 --> 00:18:11,829
You have a good heart, Pete.
370
00:18:12,029 --> 00:18:14,757
Yeah? And I may stop it.
371
00:18:14,957 --> 00:18:16,213
Promise me one thing.
372
00:18:16,413 --> 00:18:19,973
Anything, as long as it hurts.
373
00:18:20,173 --> 00:18:21,557
Promise me you won't
do anything 'til tomorrow.
374
00:18:21,757 --> 00:18:24,238
I promise, I promise, I promise!
375
00:18:24,438 --> 00:18:27,757
Okay, you promise,
you promise, you promise.
376
00:18:27,957 --> 00:18:29,421
Oh, cruel world!
377
00:18:29,621 --> 00:18:32,317
Because of you, bright boy, instead
of me winning a hundred grand,
378
00:18:32,517 --> 00:18:38,453
I lose ten thousand. So, somebody
in this room owes me ninety thousand bucks.
379
00:18:38,653 --> 00:18:39,343
Oh!
380
00:18:39,543 --> 00:18:44,049
Is that all you're worried about?
Oh, see that? We have money right here.
381
00:18:44,249 --> 00:18:46,671
- Sure, here, wait a minute.
- ...got here...
382
00:18:46,871 --> 00:18:52,175
Seventy-seven. Uh, I figure about
eight dollars and twelve cents.
383
00:18:52,375 --> 00:18:54,478
Two buttons; that ought
to be worth a nickel.
384
00:18:54,678 --> 00:18:58,359
Yeah, you'll have to wait for the rest.
385
00:18:58,559 --> 00:19:02,103
Keep your hands up high!
And no monkey business,
386
00:19:02,303 --> 00:19:03,831
if you'll excuse the expression.
387
00:19:04,031 --> 00:19:06,327
Ha ha, huh.
388
00:19:11,855 --> 00:19:15,028
Excuse me, I have to get to the phone.
Phone's ringing. Excuse me.
389
00:19:15,228 --> 00:19:17,355
If you'll just let me right through
here between your two shoulders,
390
00:19:17,555 --> 00:19:19,955
I can just get right to the phone.
391
00:19:20,155 --> 00:19:24,834
Excuse me, please.
Pardon me. Come on.
392
00:19:25,034 --> 00:19:27,940
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
393
00:19:28,140 --> 00:19:30,223
The phone is ringing, guys.
Can't you hear?
394
00:19:30,423 --> 00:19:32,312
Urgent Answering Ser-oh,
we missed her!
395
00:19:32,512 --> 00:19:35,064
Popsicle, Belmont,
ninety thousand dollars.
396
00:19:35,264 --> 00:19:37,447
Well, you win some and you lose some.
I guess I'll just-
397
00:19:37,647 --> 00:19:38,699
- Hold it, buddy.
- Huh?
398
00:19:38,899 --> 00:19:39,988
Where do you think you're going?
399
00:19:40,188 --> 00:19:42,746
Well, as a matter of fact,
I was going to the dentist.
400
00:19:42,946 --> 00:19:45,490
I have this molar with a
cavity at the very back.
401
00:19:45,690 --> 00:19:47,042
If you look close, you can see it.
402
00:19:47,242 --> 00:19:48,090
It's the old dentist bit.
403
00:19:48,290 --> 00:19:50,768
- Oh.
- Get back there.
404
00:19:56,785 --> 00:19:59,385
Okay, you. I want to talk
to you. Come over here.
405
00:19:59,585 --> 00:20:01,578
Explain to my wife that
that was a mistake;
406
00:20:01,778 --> 00:20:03,425
you gave me the wrong message.
407
00:20:03,625 --> 00:20:05,414
No, it wasn't;
it was the right message.
408
00:20:05,614 --> 00:20:08,282
Oh, it's true?
Why you-
409
00:20:09,269 --> 00:20:11,517
Wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait.
410
00:20:11,717 --> 00:20:13,564
These men here, they're gamblers,
411
00:20:13,764 --> 00:20:15,343
and they've been using this
place to place their bets.
412
00:20:15,543 --> 00:20:17,969
- Gamblers?
- No, no, no.
413
00:20:20,543 --> 00:20:23,585
Look out, here comes tomorrow
414
00:20:23,785 --> 00:20:27,036
That's when I'll have to choose
415
00:20:27,236 --> 00:20:30,830
How I wish I could borrow
416
00:20:31,030 --> 00:20:33,905
Someone else's shoes
417
00:20:36,801 --> 00:20:40,191
Mary, oh what a sweet girl
418
00:20:40,391 --> 00:20:43,521
Lips like strawberry pie
419
00:20:43,721 --> 00:20:47,793
Sandra, the long
hair and pig tails
420
00:20:47,993 --> 00:20:50,436
Can't make up my mind
421
00:20:51,826 --> 00:20:55,253
I see all kinds of sorrow
422
00:20:55,453 --> 00:20:58,331
Wish I only loved one
423
00:20:58,531 --> 00:21:02,063
Look out, here comes tomorrow
424
00:21:02,263 --> 00:21:07,134
Oh, how I wish tomorrow
would never come
425
00:21:09,643 --> 00:21:13,529
Told them both
that I loved them
426
00:21:13,729 --> 00:21:16,643
Said it, and it was true
427
00:21:16,843 --> 00:21:20,404
But I can't have both of them
428
00:21:20,604 --> 00:21:23,183
Don't know what to do
429
00:21:24,499 --> 00:21:28,016
I see all kinds of sorrow
430
00:21:28,216 --> 00:21:31,170
Wish I only loved one
431
00:21:31,370 --> 00:21:34,742
Look out, here comes tomorrow
432
00:21:34,942 --> 00:21:39,594
Oh, how I wish tomorrow
would never come
433
00:21:45,662 --> 00:21:49,118
Mary
I love you
434
00:21:51,236 --> 00:21:54,684
Sandra
I love you
435
00:21:57,653 --> 00:22:01,517
Well, I see all kinds of sorrow
436
00:22:01,717 --> 00:22:04,335
Wish I only loved one
437
00:22:04,535 --> 00:22:07,915
Look out, here comes tomorrow
438
00:22:08,115 --> 00:22:12,776
Oh, how I wish tomorrow
would never come
439
00:22:18,335 --> 00:22:20,651
I love you
440
00:22:20,851 --> 00:22:22,501
Darling
441
00:22:23,637 --> 00:22:25,100
I love you
442
00:22:29,562 --> 00:22:30,545
Uh, Mrs. Smith?
443
00:22:30,745 --> 00:22:31,946
Yes?
444
00:22:32,146 --> 00:22:34,153
I really don't think that
message was for your husband;
445
00:22:34,353 --> 00:22:36,321
I think it was for another
Mr. Smith on our service.
446
00:22:36,521 --> 00:22:37,242
You sure?
447
00:22:37,442 --> 00:22:38,770
I'm positive.
448
00:22:38,970 --> 00:22:42,869
I always knew you were
innocent, poopsie.
449
00:22:46,155 --> 00:22:46,962
Officer.
450
00:22:47,162 --> 00:22:48,419
Thanks, boys.
451
00:22:48,619 --> 00:22:51,605
It's our pleasure, Mr. Poopsie.
452
00:22:55,354 --> 00:22:56,057
Mr. Poopsie?
453
00:22:56,257 --> 00:23:01,684
It was the man. Congratulations
for a job well done.
454
00:23:08,338 --> 00:23:10,690
Hey, what happened to that girl?
455
00:23:10,890 --> 00:23:13,650
Oh, well, through my clever
manipulation of her heartstrings and,
456
00:23:13,850 --> 00:23:18,418
uh, my masculinity and
my persuasiveness, she-
457
00:23:18,618 --> 00:23:20,306
Jumped out the window?
458
00:23:20,506 --> 00:23:22,466
No, she promised she wouldn't
do anything until tomorrow.
459
00:23:22,666 --> 00:23:24,866
Then she jumps out the window.
460
00:23:25,066 --> 00:23:27,426
You know, Mike? I think you were
kind of hooked on that girl.
461
00:23:27,626 --> 00:23:28,762
Well, how could I help it?
462
00:23:28,962 --> 00:23:33,458
I mean, she was so sad and weak
and depressed and pathetic and poor.
463
00:23:33,658 --> 00:23:37,331
Oh, she was very, very poor.
464
00:23:37,531 --> 00:23:38,851
Darling!
465
00:23:39,051 --> 00:23:40,730
Miss Farnsby!
466
00:23:40,930 --> 00:23:42,770
Oh, darling. Darling,
darling, darling.
467
00:23:42,970 --> 00:23:46,106
I just had to come to thank you;
I owe you so much.
468
00:23:46,306 --> 00:23:47,946
Oh, well, you know,
I don't need anything really.
469
00:23:48,146 --> 00:23:48,995
I save girls' lives every day.
470
00:23:49,195 --> 00:23:51,582
Just jump in the morning,
do calisthenics, and save girls' lives.
471
00:23:51,782 --> 00:23:53,187
- That's a part of my ritual.
- Saving my life? No, darling.
472
00:23:53,387 --> 00:23:56,210
I mean, helping me
rehearse my part.
473
00:23:56,410 --> 00:23:57,210
Your, your part?
474
00:23:57,410 --> 00:24:00,730
Yes, darling. A part in the play.
I was brilliant.
475
00:24:00,930 --> 00:24:04,410
When my name is in lights,
I'll send you a free picture. Ta ta-ta.
476
00:24:04,610 --> 00:24:05,626
Well, thank you.
477
00:24:05,826 --> 00:24:08,954
Hey, hey, do you believe that?
She was acting all the time.
478
00:24:09,154 --> 00:24:10,611
Well, you know what I always say.
479
00:24:10,811 --> 00:24:11,363
What?
480
00:24:11,563 --> 00:24:14,131
Behind every dark cloud,
there's usually rain.
481
00:24:14,331 --> 00:24:16,067
Well, we got something
to be thankful for anyway.
482
00:24:16,267 --> 00:24:16,947
What's that?
483
00:24:17,147 --> 00:24:18,632
Well, imagine what
would have happened if
484
00:24:18,832 --> 00:24:20,461
we'd gotten involved
with any of the clients.
38037
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