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1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:03,920
["The Flower Duet"]
2
00:00:12,960 --> 00:00:14,960
Busty divorcee, fifties,
3
00:00:15,040 --> 00:00:17,560
seeks energetic male, any age,
4
00:00:17,640 --> 00:00:21,200
to share dinner,
wine, and et cetera.
5
00:00:23,560 --> 00:00:24,320
Box 19.
6
00:00:25,640 --> 00:00:28,280
[doorbell rings]
7
00:00:31,160 --> 00:00:33,320
Shot it myself this morning.
8
00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:35,600
No time for hanging.
9
00:00:35,680 --> 00:00:37,520
Mid-season hens,
10
00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:41,120
best eaten as soon as they
come out of rigour mortis,
11
00:00:41,200 --> 00:00:42,040
Don't you agree?
12
00:00:43,920 --> 00:00:44,840
Wait there.
13
00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:46,440
I'll go and scare up some gravy.
14
00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:51,600
[ominous instrumental music]
15
00:01:05,760 --> 00:01:06,800
A few lumps.
16
00:01:08,240 --> 00:01:11,120
The odd giblet's not
going to kill us, hey?
17
00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:14,560
Here's mud in your eye.
18
00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:24,640
Well, I do like a man
who can guess my size.
19
00:01:27,320 --> 00:01:28,080
Oh!
20
00:01:29,960 --> 00:01:32,920
Oh, not quite what
I had in mind,
21
00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:35,640
but I'm game if you are.
22
00:01:39,240 --> 00:01:43,200
How many corners are there
in a kitten? [laughs]
23
00:01:43,280 --> 00:01:46,720
How many mittens in a rectangle?
24
00:01:46,800 --> 00:01:48,560
[laughing uncontrollably]
25
00:01:48,640 --> 00:01:53,000
Oh, these furry little
blighters are blurring into one.
26
00:01:54,640 --> 00:01:55,440
Oh!
27
00:01:57,320 --> 00:02:00,760
Oh, I might shut
my eyes for a tick.
28
00:02:05,160 --> 00:02:08,760
[ominous instrumental music]
29
00:02:32,240 --> 00:02:35,120
[theme music plays]
30
00:03:02,160 --> 00:03:05,960
[energetic instrumental music]
31
00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:18,920
Morning sister.
32
00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:21,040
Yes, good morning to you, Peggy.
33
00:03:21,120 --> 00:03:24,280
Though, I doubt it's been
a good morning for our...
34
00:03:24,360 --> 00:03:25,760
hapless milkman.
35
00:03:25,840 --> 00:03:27,120
Oh, I know.
36
00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:28,960
It's Terry's second
ol' stiff this month.
37
00:03:29,040 --> 00:03:29,840
Poor Terry.
38
00:03:31,560 --> 00:03:34,000
Let's see if the
unfortunate deceased
39
00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:35,240
has her own tale to tell.
40
00:03:41,560 --> 00:03:45,320
Hilary Sympson-Smythe, age 58.
41
00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:48,880
Likely cause of death,
coronary heart disease.
42
00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:51,000
The jigsaw puzzle is
"You Shall Have No Pie,"
43
00:03:51,080 --> 00:03:52,360
based on a nursery rhyme
44
00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:54,520
in which three kittens
lose their mittens.
45
00:03:54,600 --> 00:03:57,720
Yeah, I'm familiar with
the Mother Goose canon.
46
00:03:57,800 --> 00:04:00,080
Hardly thrilling enough
to prompt a heart attack.
47
00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:05,400
Just me, or is there something
wrong with this picture?
48
00:04:05,480 --> 00:04:07,720
Well, the picture
and the puzzle.
49
00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:08,720
Meaning?
50
00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:10,560
Piece missing, bottom left.
51
00:04:10,640 --> 00:04:11,840
Question is,
52
00:04:11,920 --> 00:04:13,800
why would anyone attempt
to 200-piece puzzle
53
00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:16,320
with a face covered
in cold cream?
54
00:04:16,400 --> 00:04:18,000
Why indeed?
55
00:04:18,080 --> 00:04:20,640
The greasy pieces are a
puzzler's worst nightmare.
56
00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:22,400
All right, maybe not the worst,
57
00:04:22,480 --> 00:04:25,400
but definitely top five.
58
00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:27,480
Would you mind taking
Peggy house-to-house?
59
00:04:27,560 --> 00:04:29,680
See if anyone heard or
saw anything last night?
60
00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:30,560
Sir.
61
00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:39,280
Lily scent, lanolin base notes.
62
00:04:39,360 --> 00:04:41,680
How long would it take
to do 200-piece puzzle?
63
00:04:42,800 --> 00:04:45,200
Ah, well that can be expressed
64
00:04:45,280 --> 00:04:47,360
as N multiplied by N,
65
00:04:47,440 --> 00:04:48,840
so a 200-piece puzzle
66
00:04:48,920 --> 00:04:50,360
is four times as
difficult as a 100-piece,
67
00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:53,760
while a 500 is 25 times
harder than a 100-piece,
68
00:04:53,840 --> 00:04:55,800
the reason being that one
must compare each jigsaw piece
69
00:04:55,880 --> 00:04:57,320
to N other pieces.
70
00:05:00,920 --> 00:05:01,680
Quite a while.
71
00:05:03,080 --> 00:05:05,560
Yeah, unless she had help.
72
00:05:05,640 --> 00:05:06,800
And given that
she's gone all out
73
00:05:06,880 --> 00:05:09,160
on the frock,
lipstick and pearls,
74
00:05:09,240 --> 00:05:11,360
I bet that help was
a gentleman caller.
75
00:05:16,320 --> 00:05:19,400
Whoever was here was
certainly careful to tidy up.
76
00:05:19,480 --> 00:05:20,600
Oh I'll say.
77
00:05:20,680 --> 00:05:21,600
Not a print insight.
78
00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:25,960
Powdery residue on the
coffee table though.
79
00:05:26,040 --> 00:05:27,440
And some on the sofa too.
80
00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:33,760
Tucked behind the bread bin.
81
00:05:34,840 --> 00:05:36,640
Ah.
82
00:05:36,720 --> 00:05:39,120
Someone should head
down to the Bugle.
83
00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:43,040
And I suppose that
someone ought to be you.
84
00:05:53,080 --> 00:05:54,960
[knocking]
85
00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:57,240
I need to talk to you
about your lonely hearts.
86
00:05:57,320 --> 00:05:58,960
Perfect timing.
87
00:05:59,040 --> 00:06:00,880
You can take advantage of
our one-month free offer.
88
00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:02,360
For an investigation.
89
00:06:02,440 --> 00:06:03,920
Obviously I'd like to help,
90
00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:06,280
but the persons behind our
personals are confidential, Sam,
91
00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:07,600
I'm sure you'll understand.
92
00:06:07,680 --> 00:06:08,880
Even if your
personals are linked
93
00:06:08,960 --> 00:06:10,680
to a possible murder case?
94
00:06:10,760 --> 00:06:11,720
Keep talking.
95
00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:14,720
It's strictly on the QT,
96
00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:16,960
but there was a woman found
dead with a jigsaw puzzle,
97
00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:18,640
and her face full of cold cream.
98
00:06:18,720 --> 00:06:20,560
And you're suspicious because?
99
00:06:20,640 --> 00:06:22,080
A hunch.
100
00:06:22,160 --> 00:06:23,800
Do I get an exclusive?
101
00:06:23,880 --> 00:06:25,520
Once I know what
we're dealing with,
102
00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:26,960
and it's safe to go public.
103
00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:28,160
Is that a yes?
104
00:06:29,720 --> 00:06:30,560
It's not a no.
105
00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:32,640
All right, follow me.
106
00:06:35,040 --> 00:06:37,680
Sympson-Smythe,
Sympson-Smythe...
107
00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:39,480
Ah, cheers.
108
00:06:39,560 --> 00:06:41,000
Colin, you're a diamond.
109
00:06:41,080 --> 00:06:42,400
Busty divorcee, fifties,
110
00:06:42,480 --> 00:06:44,280
seeks energetic male any age
111
00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:45,840
to share dinner,
wine, et cetera.
112
00:06:45,920 --> 00:06:47,520
Box 19. Hands-off.
113
00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:49,160
Fair to say,
114
00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:52,200
Hilary was one of our more
enthusiastic customers.
115
00:06:52,280 --> 00:06:54,160
Oh, let's hope it
wasn't the "et cetera"
116
00:06:54,240 --> 00:06:55,320
that finished her off.
117
00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:57,960
So, talk me through the system?
118
00:06:58,040 --> 00:06:59,520
Someone places an ad,
119
00:06:59,600 --> 00:07:03,720
for example, "lonely lady
seeks tall, handsome stranger,"
120
00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:05,640
Or, "frustrated bachelor
seeks assertive,
121
00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:07,080
"successful woman."
122
00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:09,440
They're assigned a box number,
123
00:07:09,520 --> 00:07:12,560
all correspondence is checked
and forwarded every Thursday.
124
00:07:14,240 --> 00:07:16,960
How soon can you get the names
and addresses of these men?
125
00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:21,080
He described him as smart,
126
00:07:21,160 --> 00:07:25,080
upright, gray-haired
and smoking a pipe.
127
00:07:25,160 --> 00:07:26,480
Mr. Arnold left the
honeysuckle cottage,
128
00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:29,200
saw him when he went out
to retrieve a pigeon.
129
00:07:29,280 --> 00:07:30,040
A what?
130
00:07:30,120 --> 00:07:30,880
A pigeon.
131
00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:32,200
Nevermind.
132
00:07:32,280 --> 00:07:33,600
You and Peggy need
to start eliminating.
133
00:07:33,680 --> 00:07:35,320
There's 34 names on that list.
134
00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:38,480
Right, I shall begin.
135
00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:43,160
As I suspected.
136
00:07:43,240 --> 00:07:44,680
diethyl barbituric acid --
137
00:07:44,760 --> 00:07:46,000
please don't touch.
138
00:07:46,080 --> 00:07:48,080
Diethyl barbituric acid.
139
00:07:48,160 --> 00:07:49,560
Barbital in powder form,
140
00:07:49,640 --> 00:07:52,120
brand name bentanol,
prescribed for insomnia.
141
00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:53,840
Progress! Good man.
142
00:07:53,920 --> 00:07:55,920
Oh, and if there was any doubt
143
00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:57,680
about whether her
death was suspicious,
144
00:07:57,760 --> 00:07:59,720
you know, Simpson-Smythe
had enough in her system
145
00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:01,440
to fell a giraffe, so...
146
00:08:01,520 --> 00:08:02,320
Hmm.
147
00:08:03,360 --> 00:08:04,600
Right.
148
00:08:04,680 --> 00:08:06,680
You've sent me on
that snowball, sister.
149
00:08:08,080 --> 00:08:09,800
I've earned myself one
too if you're buying.
150
00:08:09,880 --> 00:08:11,000
Evening, sister.
151
00:08:11,080 --> 00:08:12,320
Hello Ruth!
152
00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:13,840
I thought you always
bought your own.
153
00:08:13,920 --> 00:08:15,000
Well sometimes a
girl likes to leave
154
00:08:15,080 --> 00:08:16,320
her principles at the door, Sam,
155
00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:17,160
you know that.
156
00:08:19,640 --> 00:08:21,840
I'll do the honours,
what'll it be?
157
00:08:21,920 --> 00:08:22,840
The usual, thanks.
158
00:08:25,600 --> 00:08:27,360
I knew there was something
about your mystery
159
00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:29,160
that rang a bell.
160
00:08:29,240 --> 00:08:31,920
Alice Croft died at
home on May the ninth,
161
00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:33,440
supposedly of natural causes.
162
00:08:33,520 --> 00:08:35,080
Oh, yes, Mrs. Croft,
163
00:08:35,160 --> 00:08:37,600
a local counsellor
if memory serves.
164
00:08:37,680 --> 00:08:39,320
I interviewed her
daughter for the obit.
165
00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:40,920
She said how tragic it was
166
00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:42,800
that mother didn't get to
finish her new jigsaw puzzle,
167
00:08:42,880 --> 00:08:45,160
the "Madonna of the Yarnwinder."
168
00:08:45,240 --> 00:08:46,800
Apparently the family
took great comfort
169
00:08:46,880 --> 00:08:49,040
from the fact the Holy
Mother was somehow with her
170
00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:50,640
when she passed.
171
00:08:50,720 --> 00:08:52,640
Interesting, but it's
not necessarily a link.
172
00:08:52,720 --> 00:08:54,280
Agreed, which is why I called
173
00:08:54,360 --> 00:08:56,120
and asked a couple
more questions.
174
00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:58,920
It seems Alice Croft
was wearing cold cream
175
00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:00,240
when she was discovered.
176
00:09:00,320 --> 00:09:02,520
Oh gosh. I don't
suppose she was...
177
00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:03,520
A lonely heart?
178
00:09:04,480 --> 00:09:06,480
"Buxom from Bath.
179
00:09:06,560 --> 00:09:08,440
"Attractive mature
widow, fit 50s,
180
00:09:08,520 --> 00:09:10,760
"seeks energetic
male for frisky fun.
181
00:09:10,840 --> 00:09:12,080
"Box 22."
182
00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:14,080
Sam, you need to
let me go to press.
183
00:09:14,160 --> 00:09:14,960
Not yet.
184
00:09:15,040 --> 00:09:15,760
Why the hell not?
185
00:09:15,840 --> 00:09:17,280
Sorry, sister.
186
00:09:17,360 --> 00:09:18,120
No, no, that's quite all right.
187
00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:19,440
Pretend I'm not here.
188
00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:21,240
Going public will
cause mass hysteria
189
00:09:21,320 --> 00:09:23,160
and scare the killer
back into the woodwork.
190
00:09:23,240 --> 00:09:25,840
Then let's hope for your
sake he doesn't strike again.
191
00:09:28,240 --> 00:09:29,960
I wouldn't want that
on my conscience.
192
00:09:36,640 --> 00:09:38,800
Strictly entre nous,
193
00:09:38,880 --> 00:09:41,480
one gets tired being of
in the same position,
194
00:09:41,560 --> 00:09:42,920
week in, week out.
195
00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:44,400
I have you to thank
196
00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:47,920
for opening my eyes
to new possibilities.
197
00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:50,640
The pleasure was all
mine, Mrs. Clark.
198
00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:52,480
[laughing]
199
00:09:52,560 --> 00:09:54,000
[clears throat] Morning.
200
00:09:54,080 --> 00:09:55,880
I'll, um, freshen the teapot.
201
00:09:57,240 --> 00:09:59,840
Thought I would
send WPC Button out
202
00:09:59,920 --> 00:10:02,000
to check the sale of
jigsaw puzzles in the area.
203
00:10:02,080 --> 00:10:03,160
Right, good.
204
00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:07,320
Anything else you
want to tell me about?
205
00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:10,200
Presuming Cyril isn't listening
in from beyond on the grave?
206
00:10:10,280 --> 00:10:13,240
[footsteps approach]
207
00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:17,280
There you are.
208
00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:22,920
Sergeant Livingston needs
his strength building up.
209
00:10:24,280 --> 00:10:26,240
I'm not sure I want
to know what for.
210
00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:28,200
You are honestly
not insinuating.
211
00:10:28,280 --> 00:10:29,880
What?
212
00:10:29,960 --> 00:10:31,920
I have joined Mrs. Clam
213
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:34,400
and the bell ringers of
St. Michael's Church.
214
00:10:34,480 --> 00:10:35,520
Ah, praise be.
215
00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:38,040
Why didn't you tell me?
216
00:10:38,120 --> 00:10:39,680
And have you make
a mockery of me?
217
00:10:39,760 --> 00:10:40,520
Would I?
218
00:10:41,560 --> 00:10:43,240
No, I think it's great.
219
00:10:43,320 --> 00:10:46,720
So if I joined the bell ringers
would I get sausages too?
220
00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:48,360
Have mine,
221
00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:50,320
the British banger's a
taste I've yet to acquire.
222
00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:51,120
Ah.
223
00:10:57,120 --> 00:10:58,320
Watch out.
224
00:10:58,400 --> 00:10:59,680
Now Mrs. C knows
you're a joiner-iner,
225
00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:01,640
she'll be trying to join
you up to the GSADS.
226
00:11:01,720 --> 00:11:03,240
The G-what?
227
00:11:03,320 --> 00:11:05,760
The Great Slaughter
Amateur Dramatics Society.
228
00:11:05,840 --> 00:11:07,840
[laughs]
229
00:11:10,760 --> 00:11:11,720
Sorry, line?
230
00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:15,600
Wait, got it.
231
00:11:17,240 --> 00:11:21,080
It's true, you love me with
every step of the waltz.
232
00:11:21,160 --> 00:11:23,760
"The merry widow was
last here," Dottie.
233
00:11:23,840 --> 00:11:27,880
Let's take five to revisit
the script, shall we?
234
00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:30,880
And try to not
just say the lines,
235
00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:33,440
but feel them in our core.
236
00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:35,520
Rodolfo.
237
00:11:40,280 --> 00:11:44,480
My core feels there's
some impropriety going on.
238
00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:48,080
Honestly, I didn't
see it won't come
239
00:11:48,160 --> 00:11:51,120
to a bit of Gilbert and
Sullivan or Noel Coward,
240
00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:52,960
if one insists on being modern.
241
00:11:56,720 --> 00:11:58,200
Hello, new blood.
242
00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:00,920
Certainly not.
243
00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:02,720
We're looking for
Colin, if he's around.
244
00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:04,640
I know exactly where he is.
245
00:12:04,720 --> 00:12:06,040
He's either in the lav,
246
00:12:06,120 --> 00:12:07,800
or adjusting the lights,
247
00:12:07,880 --> 00:12:10,720
or, sorry who are
you looking for?
248
00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:11,880
Morning officers.
249
00:12:11,960 --> 00:12:13,400
Everything all right?
250
00:12:13,480 --> 00:12:14,480
[Sam] Just a quick word, please.
251
00:12:14,560 --> 00:12:15,520
Of course.
252
00:12:18,120 --> 00:12:19,880
Don't keep him too long.
253
00:12:19,960 --> 00:12:22,320
Chaos descends if Dottie
doesn't have a prompt.
254
00:12:23,880 --> 00:12:26,440
Again, from page 66
please, she says!
255
00:12:27,920 --> 00:12:30,840
Sorry to interrupt
whatever this is.
256
00:12:30,920 --> 00:12:33,480
Dostoevsky, Crime
and Punishment.
257
00:12:33,560 --> 00:12:35,840
Mother's quite ambitious,
258
00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:37,960
the cast have being great
sports about it so far,
259
00:12:38,040 --> 00:12:41,600
although she hasn't told
them about the unitards yet.
260
00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:49,000
We just wanted to check
something with you.
261
00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:56,120
Confounding white residue,
262
00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:57,800
from the coffee table.
263
00:12:57,880 --> 00:12:59,480
Subjected it to every
test in Christendom,
264
00:12:59,560 --> 00:13:00,840
yet it stubbornly refuses
265
00:13:00,920 --> 00:13:03,240
to be any familiar
chemical compound.
266
00:13:04,360 --> 00:13:06,680
This test is my last hurrah.
267
00:13:09,760 --> 00:13:11,240
Fingers crossed.
268
00:13:17,480 --> 00:13:18,560
Oh, that is unexpected.
269
00:13:24,120 --> 00:13:25,880
What am I seeing?
270
00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:27,080
Plain as a pike staff.
271
00:13:27,160 --> 00:13:28,520
Polyhedral granules.
272
00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:30,080
Central hylamide fivery cleft.
273
00:13:31,920 --> 00:13:32,840
Corn flour.
274
00:13:32,920 --> 00:13:34,880
Of course, what was I thinking?
275
00:13:36,520 --> 00:13:39,080
So why is it scattered
all over our crime scene?
276
00:13:39,160 --> 00:13:40,160
Thickening the plot, perhaps.
277
00:13:40,240 --> 00:13:42,280
[laughs]
278
00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:46,640
Any insights into the
world of lonely hearts?
279
00:13:46,720 --> 00:13:48,280
Well, thanks to Colin,
280
00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:51,800
we now know Alice and Hilary
both dated two of the same men.
281
00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:54,880
Yes, box 22,
282
00:13:54,960 --> 00:13:59,800
Major Roger Travis, AKA
the Major Heart Sing.
283
00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:04,360
And Box 30,
284
00:14:04,440 --> 00:14:05,560
retired chemist,
285
00:14:05,640 --> 00:14:06,680
Professor...
286
00:14:08,040 --> 00:14:09,320
Claude.
287
00:14:09,400 --> 00:14:12,000
Claude Several,
AKA Bunsen Burner.
288
00:14:12,080 --> 00:14:14,880
Ouch. A man after my own heart.
289
00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:16,760
Interest purely
professional of course.
290
00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:20,280
Good old Colin.
291
00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:22,200
Yeah. Good old Colin.
292
00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:25,760
Ah, the pensive pause.
293
00:14:27,440 --> 00:14:31,040
Something a bit obsessive
about him, don't you think?
294
00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:34,000
The pocket squares and
the persnickety systems.
295
00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:35,760
Does really depend on
one's own benchmark
296
00:14:35,840 --> 00:14:37,040
in regards to efficiency,
297
00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:38,960
and grooming.
298
00:14:40,640 --> 00:14:44,080
I suppose he does have a
connection to both women.
299
00:14:44,160 --> 00:14:45,080
Exactly.
300
00:14:46,160 --> 00:14:47,520
Time to make some house calls.
301
00:14:49,320 --> 00:14:52,000
I only met each lady the once,
302
00:14:52,080 --> 00:14:53,720
and they were but two of many.
303
00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:57,160
So you consider women
interchangeable.
304
00:14:57,240 --> 00:14:58,240
Is that it, professor?
305
00:14:59,520 --> 00:15:02,760
Actually I'm a sufferer
of prosopagnosia,
306
00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:05,400
a condition that renders one...
307
00:15:05,480 --> 00:15:07,200
Unable to recognise faces,
308
00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:08,960
even one's own.
309
00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:10,680
Very good Sergeant.
310
00:15:10,760 --> 00:15:13,000
So I differentiate
women by smell.
311
00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:14,400
Smell?
312
00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:16,920
I can detect different
blood types, in fact.
313
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:20,640
Hilary was B positive,
314
00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:22,040
quite a rare one, that.
315
00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:24,840
[inhales deeply]
316
00:15:26,920 --> 00:15:28,520
O-negative.
317
00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:29,920
We think the perpetrator
318
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:31,720
may have had
pharmacological knowledge.
319
00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:35,640
If you're suggesting I use
my expertise to drug women,
320
00:15:35,720 --> 00:15:39,200
I'll assure you I've no need
of chemical intervention
321
00:15:39,280 --> 00:15:40,600
of any kind.
322
00:15:40,680 --> 00:15:43,200
Where were you the night
before last, professor?
323
00:15:43,280 --> 00:15:45,440
A partial eclipse
if I'm not mistaken.
324
00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:49,800
Are you given to lunar
distractions, inspector?
325
00:15:49,880 --> 00:15:51,200
No.
326
00:15:51,280 --> 00:15:53,920
And yet even rational
men such as ourselves
327
00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:58,040
can't help but feel the
eternal tango of the cosmos.
328
00:15:58,120 --> 00:16:01,720
Where were you the night
of June 13th, professor?
329
00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:06,160
I was at a fundraising dinner
for cripples in Mombasa.
330
00:16:07,560 --> 00:16:09,640
I'm a passionate and
vigorous campaigner.
331
00:16:09,720 --> 00:16:10,920
And you can prove that?
332
00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:13,240
My passion and vigour?
333
00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:16,480
No, your whereabouts, professor.
334
00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:17,520
No.
335
00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:21,520
But I've every
confidence that you can.
336
00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:36,560
You sure he'll be here?
337
00:16:36,640 --> 00:16:38,880
Half a pint of stout at 5:45.
338
00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:41,160
Word is you can set your
watch by Major Travis.
339
00:16:45,480 --> 00:16:47,480
[clears throat] Major Travis?
340
00:16:48,560 --> 00:16:49,360
Yes?
341
00:16:49,440 --> 00:16:50,840
Sorry to bother you.
342
00:16:50,920 --> 00:16:52,920
We're investigating an
incident the night before last.
343
00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:56,880
Must be serious if
you're inconveniencing
344
00:16:56,960 --> 00:16:59,600
law-abiding citizens
on a Saturday.
345
00:16:59,680 --> 00:17:00,600
Indeed.
346
00:17:00,680 --> 00:17:02,200
Just a couple of questions,
347
00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:04,960
and we'll let you get
back to your racing pages.
348
00:17:05,040 --> 00:17:08,240
Fire away then, Detective
Inspector Gillespie.
349
00:17:09,560 --> 00:17:11,960
Where were you the
evening of June 13th?
350
00:17:13,160 --> 00:17:15,640
I was here until 6:30 sharp.
351
00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:16,880
Then I walked home.
352
00:17:16,960 --> 00:17:18,160
Straight home?
353
00:17:18,240 --> 00:17:20,040
Any stops, deviations?
354
00:17:20,120 --> 00:17:23,640
I may have taken the
scenic route via the lake.
355
00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:26,440
Did you see or speak to
anyone that could verify that?
356
00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:27,320
No.
357
00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:30,600
My shrapnel injury was
causing discomfort,
358
00:17:30,680 --> 00:17:32,280
so I turned in early.
359
00:17:32,360 --> 00:17:35,320
And yet you may have taken
the scenic route as a detour.
360
00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:37,360
I don't recall.
361
00:17:37,440 --> 00:17:39,040
That's the trouble
with war wounds.
362
00:17:39,120 --> 00:17:40,840
They tend to manifest
without warning
363
00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:42,840
at inconvenient moments.
364
00:17:42,920 --> 00:17:45,040
Well, excuse the
inconvenience, Major.
365
00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:48,760
We'll be in touch if
there's anything further.
366
00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:55,920
Obviously I would
take on a male role,
367
00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:59,480
but the beard glue
brings me out in a rash.
368
00:17:59,560 --> 00:18:02,080
Oh, that was the front gate.
369
00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:04,080
Mrs. Clam, got to go.
370
00:18:04,160 --> 00:18:06,640
See you and Dottie for the
readthrough in the morning.
371
00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:11,520
Commonly Wallflower 52,
372
00:18:11,600 --> 00:18:12,840
hoping to bloom.
373
00:18:12,920 --> 00:18:15,640
Better late than never.
374
00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:17,960
Are you my sunshine?
375
00:18:18,040 --> 00:18:19,760
Will respond to all.
376
00:18:20,880 --> 00:18:21,720
[doorbell rings]
377
00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:22,680
Box 31.
378
00:18:33,240 --> 00:18:35,440
[knocking]
379
00:18:39,560 --> 00:18:40,720
Morning!
380
00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:42,760
Queen of the
kitchen as promised.
381
00:18:42,840 --> 00:18:45,560
Don't tell the vicar
it's my new Bible.
382
00:18:45,640 --> 00:18:48,200
Once you've served
kir in a wine glass,
383
00:18:48,280 --> 00:18:49,360
there's no going back.
384
00:18:50,360 --> 00:18:54,040
Oh, I love a Buff Orpington.
385
00:18:54,120 --> 00:18:55,600
Morning, thespians.
386
00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:57,680
Right, I've color-coded
everyone's part.
387
00:18:57,760 --> 00:18:58,760
I'm green.
388
00:18:58,840 --> 00:19:00,760
Dottie, you're pink.
389
00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:01,840
Lois, you're blue.
390
00:19:03,480 --> 00:19:04,240
Lois?
391
00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:07,120
You're blue.
392
00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:08,680
I'm pink!
393
00:19:08,760 --> 00:19:09,560
Blue.
394
00:19:11,440 --> 00:19:14,200
Oh dear, Lois, you're...
395
00:19:15,160 --> 00:19:17,280
[screams]
396
00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:26,640
What kind of miscreant
could do such a thing?
397
00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:30,280
You've had a terrible shock.
398
00:19:31,680 --> 00:19:33,680
I'll take you in for a
cup of tea, Mrs. Clam.
399
00:19:33,760 --> 00:19:35,040
Or something stronger.
400
00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:44,720
Any thoughts to the
time of death, sister?
401
00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:48,680
Well, I'd estimate between
eight and 11 in the PM.
402
00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:50,600
No one could have
seen this coming.
403
00:19:50,680 --> 00:19:52,200
And yet the same M.O.
404
00:19:52,280 --> 00:19:54,440
The cold cream, the corn flour,
the missing jigsaw piece.
405
00:19:55,360 --> 00:19:56,120
Why?
406
00:19:57,680 --> 00:19:59,360
Well, my guess is the cold cream
407
00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:02,560
is to render the victim
faceless, anonymous,
408
00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:06,360
unable to judge his actions.
409
00:20:06,440 --> 00:20:08,160
Certainly a troubled
psyche at work.
410
00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:10,400
To hell with his psyche.
411
00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:12,440
He's a sick opportunist
using the lonely hearts
412
00:20:12,520 --> 00:20:15,320
to prey on unsuspecting victims.
413
00:20:15,400 --> 00:20:18,080
Yes, but we still need to
understand the motivation.
414
00:20:18,160 --> 00:20:19,760
It's not sexual,
415
00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:22,720
but he obviously likes to
spend time with his victims.
416
00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:24,880
I don't need to understand him.
417
00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:27,280
I just need to catch him.
418
00:20:27,360 --> 00:20:28,600
I need some air.
419
00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:42,680
Sister?
420
00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:44,920
Yes.
421
00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:47,640
Sister.
422
00:20:54,680 --> 00:20:55,480
Look.
423
00:20:59,600 --> 00:21:01,960
I'd say someone took
off their muddy shoes
424
00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:04,200
before entering the house.
425
00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:06,840
Must have dropped
out of the tread.
426
00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:13,080
A stout walking shoe, I'd wager.
427
00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:17,200
How do we know it
belonged to the murderer?
428
00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:18,920
Well, given that it
rained yesterday evening
429
00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:20,200
for the first time in weeks,
430
00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:21,560
and that Lois isn't
the kind of housekeeper
431
00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:22,720
to allow any speck
to go un-scrubbed,
432
00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:23,840
I'd say extremely sure.
433
00:21:33,840 --> 00:21:37,320
What is that? Some
type of grass?
434
00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:39,520
Barley, by the looks.
435
00:21:43,080 --> 00:21:45,400
It won't tell us
who our killer is,
436
00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:47,600
but it will certainly
tell us where he's been.
437
00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:52,840
He was lying, Professor Several.
438
00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:53,760
Bunsen burner?
439
00:21:54,840 --> 00:21:55,960
That charity event?
440
00:21:56,040 --> 00:21:57,200
Two eye-witnesses saw him leave
441
00:21:57,280 --> 00:21:59,240
straight after the canapes.
442
00:21:59,320 --> 00:22:00,520
And the night that Alice died?
443
00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:02,440
Claims he was at
some silent retreat
444
00:22:02,520 --> 00:22:06,000
in Lord Pasternak's
folly, alone,
445
00:22:06,080 --> 00:22:07,960
hardly watertight.
446
00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:10,520
I think we should pay
the professor a visit.
447
00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:12,920
Sure I can't tempt
you to a Bloody Mary?
448
00:22:13,920 --> 00:22:15,840
Or a Virgin if you prefer?
449
00:22:15,920 --> 00:22:17,800
Thank you, no.
450
00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:19,760
Where were you last
night, Professor?
451
00:22:19,840 --> 00:22:22,120
Tucked up in bed with
Odette and Pamela,
452
00:22:23,120 --> 00:22:24,520
my cats,
453
00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:26,120
reciting Plutarch together.
454
00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:27,880
Siamese are very vocal you know.
455
00:22:27,960 --> 00:22:29,880
This fundraiser on June 13th,
456
00:22:30,920 --> 00:22:32,200
you were seen leaving early.
457
00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:35,240
Ah.
458
00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:38,120
It's time for some
un-embroidered facts, Professor.
459
00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:42,480
It's true.
460
00:22:42,560 --> 00:22:44,360
I'm dishonest.
461
00:22:44,440 --> 00:22:47,720
And weak, a slave to temptation.
462
00:22:48,760 --> 00:22:50,400
I was not alone.
463
00:22:50,480 --> 00:22:53,960
The charity treasurer and I
went to the little Grange Hotel.
464
00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:55,760
Why did you lie?
465
00:22:55,840 --> 00:22:58,520
Because the lady in question
is a local magistrate.
466
00:22:58,600 --> 00:23:01,800
Wouldn't do for her
reputation to be sullied.
467
00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:04,680
Three women have been
killed, Professor.
468
00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:07,360
Your lady friend's reputation
is the least of my worries.
469
00:23:09,560 --> 00:23:10,480
It's true.
470
00:23:10,560 --> 00:23:12,040
The receptionist signed him in
471
00:23:12,120 --> 00:23:13,960
and checked him out
the next morning,
472
00:23:14,040 --> 00:23:15,760
and delivered at
various intervals,
473
00:23:15,840 --> 00:23:17,760
a bottle of absinthe,
two hair nets,
474
00:23:17,840 --> 00:23:19,920
and a plate of Welsh rarebit.
475
00:23:20,920 --> 00:23:22,400
No accounting for taste.
476
00:23:22,480 --> 00:23:23,800
Indeed not.
477
00:23:23,880 --> 00:23:26,840
As for Colin, he left
our rehearsal at 6:45,
478
00:23:26,920 --> 00:23:28,600
took the train to Bonnington,
479
00:23:28,680 --> 00:23:31,400
and alighted at Little Sockford,
480
00:23:31,480 --> 00:23:33,520
for a harpsichord recital.
481
00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:34,800
Anyone see him?
482
00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:36,200
The conductor
clipped his ticket.
483
00:23:36,280 --> 00:23:38,520
He returned home at 2200 hours,
484
00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:40,400
bidding goodnight
to the scoutmaster
485
00:23:40,480 --> 00:23:42,600
before heading up
the front path.
486
00:23:42,680 --> 00:23:43,640
And I bet he could
tell us the colour
487
00:23:43,720 --> 00:23:45,720
of the scoutmaster's shoelaces.
488
00:23:45,800 --> 00:23:46,760
[Felix] I dare say.
489
00:23:48,680 --> 00:23:51,240
Which leaves the Major.
490
00:23:51,320 --> 00:23:53,960
Any progress on that footprint?
491
00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:55,120
Matter of fact, yes.
492
00:23:57,760 --> 00:24:00,360
So the large structures
are tree seeds,
493
00:24:00,440 --> 00:24:01,960
some sort of conifer.
494
00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:04,400
Combined with the barley
fragments and fungal spores,
495
00:24:04,480 --> 00:24:06,280
we're looking at a
specific time and place,
496
00:24:06,360 --> 00:24:08,880
a pedological
photograph if you will.
497
00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:10,760
A photograph of what?
498
00:24:10,840 --> 00:24:12,680
We'd have to sample mud from
barley fields in the area.
499
00:24:12,760 --> 00:24:14,920
But if we can locate
the same profile,
500
00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:16,440
We'll know who the killer is.
501
00:24:18,040 --> 00:24:20,360
Let's go and see if the Major's
got any mud on his shoes.
502
00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:25,640
"Honest, loyal, ex-army
gentlemen of means
503
00:24:25,720 --> 00:24:29,960
"seeks warmhearted lady for
companionship and home fires."
504
00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:36,480
A lady like Alice Croft
or Hilary Sympson-Smythe,
505
00:24:37,160 --> 00:24:38,720
or Lois Mason.
506
00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:42,040
For the umpteenth time,
I've never met these women.
507
00:24:43,360 --> 00:24:46,200
Mud was found in
Lois Mason's porch.
508
00:24:46,280 --> 00:24:49,600
The remnants perfectly match
the tread of your shoes.
509
00:24:49,680 --> 00:24:51,080
As they no doubt would
510
00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:52,840
the shoes of everyone else
511
00:24:52,920 --> 00:24:56,200
who owns the same
ubiquitous brand.
512
00:24:57,240 --> 00:24:58,880
Awfully clean, aren't they?
513
00:24:58,960 --> 00:25:00,560
Given that you live
in a rural area.
514
00:25:01,920 --> 00:25:05,280
Well, you can take the
man out of the army.
515
00:25:06,920 --> 00:25:09,640
Seems you've
discovered my footwear
516
00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:11,360
is as clean as my conscience,
517
00:25:11,440 --> 00:25:14,040
so you're clutching
at straws, inspector.
518
00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:19,360
You've visited
Gravestocks News Agents
519
00:25:19,440 --> 00:25:21,760
two days before
Hilary was murdered.
520
00:25:21,840 --> 00:25:23,440
What did you buy?
521
00:25:23,520 --> 00:25:26,640
I believe it was
a jigsaw puzzle.
522
00:25:26,720 --> 00:25:27,960
A jigsaw of what?
523
00:25:28,040 --> 00:25:28,920
No idea.
524
00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:31,760
One with a picture on it.
525
00:25:31,840 --> 00:25:32,880
Who for?
526
00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:35,400
My Aunt Edith.
527
00:25:35,480 --> 00:25:37,080
And if you'd done your job,
528
00:25:37,160 --> 00:25:40,400
you would have found out that
I also bought a birthday card
529
00:25:40,480 --> 00:25:43,080
and some parcel string in
order to post it to her
530
00:25:43,160 --> 00:25:47,320
for her birthday,
as I do every year.
531
00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:50,160
What's with the jigsaw
puzzle fixation, Major?
532
00:25:50,240 --> 00:25:52,240
Come now, Inspector.
533
00:25:52,320 --> 00:25:55,840
Once a lady's fertile and
attractive years are behind her,
534
00:25:55,920 --> 00:25:58,200
what else is there
for her to do?
535
00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:03,200
Now, unless you have
some actual evidence,
536
00:26:03,280 --> 00:26:04,240
Inspector Gillespie,
537
00:26:05,560 --> 00:26:06,960
I should take myself
home for supper.
538
00:26:08,640 --> 00:26:09,480
Good day.
539
00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:18,000
I had to just
watch him walk out.
540
00:26:18,080 --> 00:26:19,080
It's unconscionable, I know,
541
00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:21,240
but we simply have no proof.
542
00:26:22,960 --> 00:26:25,320
Apologies. Mrs. Clam, we've
lost our appetite somewhat.
543
00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:27,640
No, I must apologise.
544
00:26:27,720 --> 00:26:32,000
I seem to be ruining breakfast,
lunch and dinner ever since.
545
00:26:32,080 --> 00:26:32,840
Don't worry. Mrs C.
546
00:26:32,920 --> 00:26:34,400
No one's noticed.
547
00:26:34,480 --> 00:26:38,360
Awful to think that Lois
opened her heart to that man,
548
00:26:38,440 --> 00:26:41,000
only to fall into
his terrible trap.
549
00:26:42,360 --> 00:26:43,960
Wait, that's it.
550
00:26:44,040 --> 00:26:45,480
A trap.
551
00:26:45,560 --> 00:26:47,760
We send the Major an
invitation from a fake admirer.
552
00:26:47,840 --> 00:26:49,080
We wait for them to
crack out the bentanol
553
00:26:49,160 --> 00:26:50,640
and then we catch
him in the act.
554
00:26:50,720 --> 00:26:51,920
With respect,
555
00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:54,360
not only are those
ethics somewhat dubious.
556
00:26:54,440 --> 00:26:56,040
Sod the ethics!
557
00:26:56,120 --> 00:26:57,040
But what woman in her right
mind would submit herself
558
00:26:57,120 --> 00:26:59,320
to such a dangerous endeavour?
559
00:26:59,400 --> 00:27:01,000
I shall do it.
560
00:27:01,080 --> 00:27:02,520
Mrs. Clam, no.
561
00:27:02,600 --> 00:27:04,280
Nonsense, I insist!
562
00:27:04,360 --> 00:27:06,760
If I can prevent another lone
woman from being murdered,
563
00:27:06,840 --> 00:27:08,160
then...
564
00:27:08,240 --> 00:27:09,440
That is absolutely
courageous of you,
565
00:27:09,520 --> 00:27:11,240
but it would be
risky and dangerous.
566
00:27:11,320 --> 00:27:12,960
You're on.
567
00:27:13,040 --> 00:27:14,560
Good, I shall see
to the custard.
568
00:27:17,720 --> 00:27:19,280
She's perfect.
569
00:27:19,360 --> 00:27:21,320
Are the Great Slaughter Police
really so under-resourced
570
00:27:21,400 --> 00:27:23,840
that we would use a civilian
in a hunt-trap operation?
571
00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:25,960
[laughs]
572
00:27:26,040 --> 00:27:27,560
You said "we".
573
00:27:27,640 --> 00:27:28,560
What?
574
00:27:28,640 --> 00:27:30,440
Seems you're one of us now.
575
00:27:30,520 --> 00:27:32,600
[scoffs]
576
00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:39,480
So what do we think?
577
00:27:39,560 --> 00:27:42,680
There must be something
here between milkmaid
578
00:27:42,760 --> 00:27:44,400
and Moulin Rouge.
579
00:27:44,480 --> 00:27:45,520
Jolly well hope so.
580
00:27:46,760 --> 00:27:48,360
Right.
581
00:27:48,440 --> 00:27:51,880
Let's cook the Major up an
invitation he can't refuse.
582
00:27:51,960 --> 00:27:55,440
So how would you
describe yourself, Vera?
583
00:27:55,520 --> 00:27:59,120
Tidy, churchgoing, spinster.
584
00:27:59,200 --> 00:28:02,600
Put trim, ballroom
dancing, bon viveur.
585
00:28:02,680 --> 00:28:05,200
Very good.
586
00:28:05,280 --> 00:28:06,920
The voice of an expert.
587
00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:08,360
Don't forget he has a type.
588
00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:11,160
Put curvaceous and homely,
589
00:28:11,240 --> 00:28:12,760
likes hugging and baking.
590
00:28:12,840 --> 00:28:13,680
Dreadful!
591
00:28:13,760 --> 00:28:15,040
Perfect.
592
00:28:15,120 --> 00:28:17,320
I had my suspicions
about that Major.
593
00:28:17,400 --> 00:28:18,960
Do you know, he
gets more letters
594
00:28:19,040 --> 00:28:20,600
than any other lonely heart,
595
00:28:20,680 --> 00:28:23,440
even "Stronger with Livestock"
and "Tap Dancing Romeo."
596
00:28:23,520 --> 00:28:24,760
Focus, Colin.
597
00:28:24,840 --> 00:28:26,720
That marcel isn't
going to wave itself.
598
00:28:26,800 --> 00:28:27,720
Sorry, mother.
599
00:28:30,680 --> 00:28:31,640
Ready when you are.
600
00:28:33,520 --> 00:28:35,000
I think this'll work.
601
00:28:35,080 --> 00:28:36,240
What's your worry?
602
00:28:36,320 --> 00:28:37,960
Well just that a
honey trap requires...
603
00:28:38,040 --> 00:28:39,520
Well you you know...
604
00:28:39,600 --> 00:28:40,400
honey.
605
00:28:44,840 --> 00:28:45,640
[Colin] Ready?
606
00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:54,240
[whistles loudly]
607
00:28:54,320 --> 00:28:55,840
Hells bells, Mrs C.
608
00:28:55,920 --> 00:28:58,080
Where have you been
hiding that figure?
609
00:28:58,160 --> 00:29:01,480
I'll thank you to rein in
the profanity Ms. Penny.
610
00:29:01,560 --> 00:29:02,320
Roger that.
611
00:29:04,040 --> 00:29:06,160
Tempted to say that what
you've both achieved
612
00:29:06,240 --> 00:29:09,000
leaves the loaves and the
fishes somewhat in the shade.
613
00:29:09,080 --> 00:29:12,120
We make a great
team, don't we Colin?
614
00:29:12,200 --> 00:29:13,040
The best.
615
00:29:16,680 --> 00:29:18,720
[Mrs. Clam] Dear
Major Heart Sing,
616
00:29:18,800 --> 00:29:20,920
That's it, Mrs.
C. Really work it.
617
00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:23,040
[Mrs. Clam] I noticed
your advertisement.
618
00:29:23,120 --> 00:29:24,400
[Ruth] Blow us a kiss.
619
00:29:24,480 --> 00:29:26,000
[Mrs. Clam] I wish to
invite you for supper.
620
00:29:26,080 --> 00:29:29,480
Though somewhat beyond
the first flush of youth,
621
00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:32,520
I'm told I still have a
certain twinkle in my eye.
622
00:29:35,240 --> 00:29:36,920
[Major] Dear Vera,
623
00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:39,320
I hope you won't
think me forward
624
00:29:39,400 --> 00:29:42,160
in calling you by
your Christian name.
625
00:29:42,240 --> 00:29:44,440
So enchanted was
I by your letter,
626
00:29:44,520 --> 00:29:47,440
that I feel we are
already friends.
627
00:29:48,400 --> 00:29:49,720
Needless to say,
628
00:29:49,800 --> 00:29:52,960
I should be delighted to
accept your invitation.
629
00:29:57,560 --> 00:29:59,800
Bear in mind that
barbital has no antidote.
630
00:29:59,880 --> 00:30:02,480
Lethal dose is a mere 55 grains.
631
00:30:02,560 --> 00:30:04,480
Do not drink the sherry.
632
00:30:04,560 --> 00:30:06,480
Because otherwise we will
have to do the dubious honour
633
00:30:06,560 --> 00:30:07,480
of gastric lavage.
634
00:30:09,760 --> 00:30:11,160
How about a role-play?
635
00:30:11,240 --> 00:30:13,280
Shall we, role-play?
636
00:30:13,360 --> 00:30:15,120
So I'll be Major.
637
00:30:16,920 --> 00:30:19,280
Imagine that the date
is going swimmingly,
638
00:30:19,360 --> 00:30:21,680
and I'm about to strike.
639
00:30:24,320 --> 00:30:25,760
Oh.
640
00:30:25,840 --> 00:30:28,320
[clears throat]
641
00:30:28,400 --> 00:30:30,840
uh, splendid vol-au-vents, Vera.
642
00:30:30,920 --> 00:30:33,840
Do have another, Major.
643
00:30:33,920 --> 00:30:35,680
Oh. Don't mind if I do.
644
00:30:37,280 --> 00:30:38,040
Mm...
645
00:30:39,560 --> 00:30:41,240
Time for a top-up,
wouldn't you say?
646
00:30:42,920 --> 00:30:45,880
Now you'll need a reason to
excuse yourself for a moment.
647
00:30:45,960 --> 00:30:47,880
I think I need a lie down.
648
00:30:47,960 --> 00:30:49,480
Well, don't come on too strong.
649
00:30:49,560 --> 00:30:51,440
No, I think I really
do need a lie down.
650
00:30:53,920 --> 00:30:57,320
Might I suggest that
if things get too much,
651
00:30:57,400 --> 00:31:00,040
Mrs. Clam could
utter a safe word?
652
00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:02,120
And then we will intervene.
653
00:31:02,200 --> 00:31:03,600
Yes. Good idea.
654
00:31:03,680 --> 00:31:06,240
I like the word
somnambulant or owl.
655
00:31:06,320 --> 00:31:08,600
A word that is germane
to the scenario.
656
00:31:08,680 --> 00:31:10,160
Well, can't I just say help?
657
00:31:10,240 --> 00:31:12,680
Macaroni. The safe
word is macaroni.
658
00:31:12,760 --> 00:31:13,960
Macaroni?
659
00:31:14,960 --> 00:31:15,720
Macaroni.
660
00:31:17,080 --> 00:31:17,560
-[doorbell rings]
-[Mrs. Clam screams]
661
00:31:17,640 --> 00:31:19,160
Oh!
662
00:31:19,240 --> 00:31:20,520
Courage, Vera.
663
00:31:20,600 --> 00:31:21,520
That was just Peggy.
664
00:31:21,600 --> 00:31:22,720
We have some digging to do.
665
00:31:23,640 --> 00:31:24,440
Godspeed, all!
666
00:31:26,880 --> 00:31:28,520
Macaroni, macaroni.
667
00:31:43,720 --> 00:31:44,760
Chin up, poor thing.
668
00:31:44,840 --> 00:31:46,360
Only nine more to go.
669
00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:48,360
Nine fields and only
one of you sister.
670
00:31:48,440 --> 00:31:52,600
Yes, I do sometimes think an
extra one or two would help.
671
00:31:52,680 --> 00:31:54,760
One of me could do the carrying.
672
00:31:54,840 --> 00:31:56,720
Another could do
the map reading.
673
00:31:56,800 --> 00:31:58,520
I can do the measuring.
674
00:31:58,600 --> 00:32:00,120
I should be in
charge of digging.
675
00:32:00,200 --> 00:32:02,280
I'll gather samples.
676
00:32:02,360 --> 00:32:05,080
Oh, put me down
for tea and tiffin.
677
00:32:05,160 --> 00:32:06,560
You all right, sister?
678
00:32:10,680 --> 00:32:14,360
Yes. I suppose it
has been a long day.
679
00:32:14,440 --> 00:32:16,680
Perhaps it's time for
a slice of Battenberg.
680
00:32:16,760 --> 00:32:17,960
Oh, now you're talking.
681
00:32:19,880 --> 00:32:22,320
[gate creaks]
682
00:32:27,440 --> 00:32:30,160
[doorbell rings]
683
00:32:33,760 --> 00:32:34,920
Vera!
684
00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:35,800
Major.
685
00:32:36,920 --> 00:32:39,560
You're even prettier in person.
686
00:32:39,640 --> 00:32:40,800
Oh, nonsense.
687
00:32:44,160 --> 00:32:46,760
[clears throat]
688
00:32:48,320 --> 00:32:49,080
May I?
689
00:32:50,440 --> 00:32:51,880
Oh... yes.
690
00:32:53,600 --> 00:32:54,360
Do come in.
691
00:33:02,200 --> 00:33:05,360
Of course they prefer
to be shown no mercy.
692
00:33:05,440 --> 00:33:07,280
I cut their heads off,
693
00:33:07,360 --> 00:33:08,920
bury them in my cellar,
694
00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:10,680
then dig them up when
the time is right.
695
00:33:10,760 --> 00:33:11,560
What?
696
00:33:11,640 --> 00:33:15,080
The tubers, the dahlias.
697
00:33:15,160 --> 00:33:16,200
I grew them myself.
698
00:33:17,240 --> 00:33:18,280
Something of a hobby.
699
00:33:21,400 --> 00:33:24,600
Tell me about your interests.
700
00:33:24,680 --> 00:33:26,840
I imagine your Foxtrot
is quite something,
701
00:33:26,920 --> 00:33:28,120
from the looks of you.
702
00:33:28,200 --> 00:33:30,960
My Foxtrot is
strictly off limits!
703
00:33:32,960 --> 00:33:33,680
Sciatica.
704
00:33:33,760 --> 00:33:35,480
Ah, my sympathy.
705
00:33:35,560 --> 00:33:39,680
I fear my dancing days
are also behind me,
706
00:33:39,760 --> 00:33:44,520
but still plenty of lead
in my pencil so to speak.
707
00:33:45,360 --> 00:33:48,320
[Vera laughs nervously]
708
00:33:48,400 --> 00:33:52,400
I shall just pop
on some Mantovani
709
00:33:52,480 --> 00:33:54,120
and then go and warm the oven.
710
00:33:59,320 --> 00:34:00,360
That one's number 17.
711
00:34:03,600 --> 00:34:07,840
Yes, some intriguing nematodes,
712
00:34:07,920 --> 00:34:09,360
but not what we're looking for.
713
00:34:10,280 --> 00:34:12,280
Okay, next?
714
00:34:12,360 --> 00:34:13,120
Number nine.
715
00:34:14,440 --> 00:34:15,840
Like a very boring
game of bingo.
716
00:34:15,920 --> 00:34:16,680
Yes.
717
00:34:27,120 --> 00:34:28,080
Oh!
718
00:34:28,160 --> 00:34:29,480
Bingo, Peggy my girl!
719
00:34:29,560 --> 00:34:30,440
Number nine?
720
00:34:30,520 --> 00:34:32,600
Erm, that's Crooked Mile Field.
721
00:34:32,680 --> 00:34:34,520
So it is, yes.
722
00:34:44,720 --> 00:34:46,200
Oh my.
723
00:34:46,280 --> 00:34:47,080
Didn't leave your Wellies
in the rain again,
724
00:34:47,160 --> 00:34:48,120
did you sister?
725
00:34:48,200 --> 00:34:49,680
No, Peggy.
726
00:34:49,760 --> 00:34:51,880
I fear a far greater
oversight has occurred.
727
00:35:01,160 --> 00:35:03,560
Aren't we supposed to go in?
728
00:35:04,960 --> 00:35:06,280
We need to let it play out
729
00:35:07,800 --> 00:35:09,000
Abort!
730
00:35:09,080 --> 00:35:09,800
Abort!
731
00:35:09,880 --> 00:35:10,880
Really?
732
00:35:10,960 --> 00:35:12,160
Abort!
733
00:35:12,240 --> 00:35:13,240
Abort, abort!
734
00:35:14,920 --> 00:35:15,800
We are in the middle of...
735
00:35:15,880 --> 00:35:18,040
The killer isn't Major Travis!
736
00:35:18,120 --> 00:35:19,080
What?
737
00:35:19,160 --> 00:35:20,360
Well, rather it is Major Travis,
738
00:35:20,440 --> 00:35:21,640
just not that one.
739
00:35:24,120 --> 00:35:26,120
Oh gosh, you weren't wrong.
740
00:35:26,200 --> 00:35:27,640
You certainly are nimble.
741
00:35:27,720 --> 00:35:30,040
Macaroni.
742
00:35:30,120 --> 00:35:31,360
Macaroni!
743
00:35:31,440 --> 00:35:32,640
I think dinner can
wait, don't you?
744
00:35:32,720 --> 00:35:34,240
[Vera screams]
745
00:35:34,320 --> 00:35:38,240
You may consider me
easy pickings, Major,
746
00:35:38,320 --> 00:35:40,720
but you will not indulge
your hideous perversions
747
00:35:40,800 --> 00:35:42,040
in my parlour!
748
00:35:42,120 --> 00:35:43,600
Excuse me?
749
00:35:43,680 --> 00:35:46,320
Yes. I belong to a
generation of unwed women
750
00:35:46,400 --> 00:35:48,080
who've been put out to grass,
751
00:35:48,160 --> 00:35:49,840
but we shall not be silenced,
752
00:35:49,920 --> 00:35:52,040
and we shall certainly
not be murdered!
753
00:35:53,280 --> 00:35:55,560
[both gasp]
754
00:35:56,600 --> 00:35:57,520
Mrs. Clam!
755
00:36:00,800 --> 00:36:02,680
Yes, let's find you a towel.
756
00:36:05,640 --> 00:36:08,240
So this is the field
that the mud's on?
757
00:36:08,320 --> 00:36:09,920
Crooked Mile Field.
758
00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:12,400
A the railway line cuts
right through the middle.
759
00:36:12,480 --> 00:36:15,480
So he makes sure that the
conductor stamps his ticket,
760
00:36:15,560 --> 00:36:18,560
and then he gets off
the train a stop early.
761
00:36:18,640 --> 00:36:21,200
And then headed back to
Lois's, across country.
762
00:36:21,280 --> 00:36:23,280
But I simply can't see how Colin
763
00:36:23,360 --> 00:36:26,280
has been passing himself
off as Major Travis.
764
00:36:26,360 --> 00:36:28,880
Not to mention he's
20 years too young.
765
00:36:28,960 --> 00:36:29,760
Colin?
766
00:36:31,840 --> 00:36:35,360
You mean hair and makeup Colin?
767
00:36:35,440 --> 00:36:38,760
The architect of my
lonely hearts persona?
768
00:36:38,840 --> 00:36:40,360
Let's make some tea, shall we?
769
00:36:41,800 --> 00:36:42,560
Tea...
770
00:36:43,680 --> 00:36:45,600
Oh, of course.
771
00:36:45,680 --> 00:36:49,160
The cornflour, to
whiten the hair!
772
00:36:49,240 --> 00:36:50,640
Yes!
773
00:36:52,280 --> 00:36:54,640
I say, Colin's been studying
the Major for some time.
774
00:36:54,720 --> 00:36:56,920
Learning his
mannerisms and whatnot.
775
00:36:57,000 --> 00:36:58,520
Quite the performance.
776
00:36:58,600 --> 00:36:59,800
A tragedy at that.
777
00:36:59,880 --> 00:37:01,600
Time for his curtain call.
778
00:37:01,680 --> 00:37:05,840
Oh! [laughs]
779
00:37:06,720 --> 00:37:09,320
[phone ringing]
780
00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:17,160
Yes?
781
00:37:18,320 --> 00:37:19,600
Well, he's not at his desk.
782
00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:22,000
Fine, give me a sec.
783
00:37:23,720 --> 00:37:24,520
Proofs.
784
00:37:25,400 --> 00:37:27,160
Proofs.
785
00:37:38,480 --> 00:37:39,760
Fight over,
786
00:37:39,840 --> 00:37:41,560
I just spoke to
Peggy. Safe and sound.
787
00:37:41,640 --> 00:37:42,520
Splendid.
788
00:37:43,720 --> 00:37:44,760
Everything all right?
789
00:37:44,840 --> 00:37:46,000
Never better!
790
00:38:00,480 --> 00:38:02,080
[Ida] You have to
catch me first!
791
00:38:02,160 --> 00:38:04,040
[knocking on door]
792
00:38:04,120 --> 00:38:05,640
Oh, get lost, Colin!
793
00:38:05,720 --> 00:38:07,040
It's not even nine o'clock.
794
00:38:07,120 --> 00:38:09,360
Mrs. Sweet, it's
Inspector Gillespie.
795
00:38:14,040 --> 00:38:15,840
Is Colin not at home?
796
00:38:15,920 --> 00:38:18,160
No, I told him...
797
00:38:18,240 --> 00:38:19,960
Asked him to stay out.
798
00:38:25,320 --> 00:38:26,680
One-to-one rehearsal.
799
00:38:26,760 --> 00:38:30,360
It's a very challenging scene.
800
00:38:30,440 --> 00:38:32,240
Do you have any
idea where Colin is?
801
00:38:32,320 --> 00:38:33,120
No.
802
00:38:48,480 --> 00:38:50,560
Looking for these?
803
00:38:50,640 --> 00:38:53,440
I believe you have
something of mine.
804
00:38:53,520 --> 00:38:55,080
Perhaps we could do an exchange.
805
00:38:56,440 --> 00:38:58,760
And what if I say no?
806
00:38:58,840 --> 00:39:00,920
Are you going to do to me what
you did to those other women?
807
00:39:01,000 --> 00:39:02,320
Heaven's no.
808
00:39:02,400 --> 00:39:03,800
You're not at all
the Major's type.
809
00:39:07,640 --> 00:39:09,760
[Ruth exclaims]
810
00:39:09,840 --> 00:39:11,920
You're nothing but a coward!
811
00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:14,280
[Ruth gasping]
812
00:39:14,360 --> 00:39:15,480
Colin, please!
813
00:39:18,680 --> 00:39:19,680
[Sam] Ruth!
814
00:39:22,880 --> 00:39:24,360
Show's over, Colin.
815
00:39:27,880 --> 00:39:28,640
Take him away.
816
00:39:30,120 --> 00:39:31,520
[Felix] You are not
obliged to say anything
817
00:39:31,600 --> 00:39:32,600
unless you wish to do so,
818
00:39:32,680 --> 00:39:33,840
but what you say may....
819
00:39:33,920 --> 00:39:35,320
Slow gentle breaths, soldier.
820
00:39:36,680 --> 00:39:37,480
Ruth.
821
00:39:39,080 --> 00:39:40,520
I'm fine.
822
00:39:40,600 --> 00:39:42,920
Nothing worse than
a broken fingernail.
823
00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:45,760
I'm so sorry I let
that happen to you.
824
00:39:45,840 --> 00:39:48,400
[Ruth gasping]
825
00:39:50,080 --> 00:39:54,880
So, Rodolfo came on the scene
and you were jealous, angry.
826
00:39:55,920 --> 00:39:58,080
You felt replaced, betrayed.
827
00:39:58,160 --> 00:39:59,800
He hasn't even
learned his lines.
828
00:40:01,320 --> 00:40:03,000
Where'd you get
the bentanol from?
829
00:40:03,080 --> 00:40:04,680
Mother had a stash.
830
00:40:04,760 --> 00:40:06,640
I remember watching
her take it at bedtime,
831
00:40:06,720 --> 00:40:08,760
always the same teacup.
832
00:40:10,400 --> 00:40:14,720
The Lily sent of the cold
cream, the bliss on her face.
833
00:40:14,800 --> 00:40:17,080
She drifted into oblivion.
834
00:40:17,160 --> 00:40:18,360
So the cold cream
835
00:40:18,440 --> 00:40:20,080
wasn't about making
your victims anonymous.
836
00:40:20,160 --> 00:40:22,520
It was about
turning them to Ida,
837
00:40:22,600 --> 00:40:24,720
a version of Ida that
you could control.
838
00:40:24,800 --> 00:40:26,560
Like she controlled you.
839
00:40:26,640 --> 00:40:28,440
Mother never forgave me.
840
00:40:28,520 --> 00:40:29,400
For what?
841
00:40:29,480 --> 00:40:30,680
She had ambitions,
842
00:40:30,760 --> 00:40:33,320
Shaftesbury Avenue, Broadway.
843
00:40:33,400 --> 00:40:35,480
But father ran off and
she had to ditch it all
844
00:40:35,560 --> 00:40:37,200
to look after me.
845
00:40:37,280 --> 00:40:39,560
Times were tough.
846
00:40:39,640 --> 00:40:41,560
She was good at spotting talent,
847
00:40:41,640 --> 00:40:45,520
and my talent was
jigsaw puzzles.
848
00:40:46,560 --> 00:40:48,880
She started drinking heavily.
849
00:40:48,960 --> 00:40:50,520
Prize money was a lifeline.
850
00:40:50,600 --> 00:40:53,480
Second place means you lost.
851
00:40:58,120 --> 00:41:01,040
[stopwatch ticking]
852
00:41:06,160 --> 00:41:09,120
[timer rings]
853
00:41:09,200 --> 00:41:12,600
Let's not let nerves get the
better of us again, shall we?
854
00:41:36,480 --> 00:41:38,200
It's a sad story.
855
00:41:38,280 --> 00:41:41,040
But people have worse
mothers than yours.
856
00:41:41,120 --> 00:41:43,360
You don't see them plying
women with barbiturates
857
00:41:43,440 --> 00:41:44,880
and watching them die.
858
00:41:44,960 --> 00:41:47,360
You know, I've
never hurt mother.
859
00:41:48,760 --> 00:41:51,480
I love her, despite how
she's been carrying on.
860
00:41:51,560 --> 00:41:53,920
Honestly, it's unseemly.
861
00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:55,120
Unseemly?
862
00:41:55,200 --> 00:41:56,440
Three women are dead.
863
00:41:57,680 --> 00:41:58,440
Oh dear.
864
00:41:59,840 --> 00:42:01,960
You're hurting.
865
00:42:03,240 --> 00:42:04,520
You feel you failed.
866
00:42:06,560 --> 00:42:08,000
We've so much in common.
867
00:42:08,080 --> 00:42:09,320
No, we're done.
868
00:42:10,920 --> 00:42:11,880
And you're in jail,
869
00:42:13,280 --> 00:42:15,280
hopefully for the
rest of your life.
870
00:42:16,680 --> 00:42:19,000
I don't fear incarceration.
871
00:42:19,080 --> 00:42:22,600
After all, a lock is
just another puzzle.
872
00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:25,120
Put the pieces in
the correct order
873
00:42:25,200 --> 00:42:28,160
and it's open sesame.
874
00:42:40,600 --> 00:42:41,360
Ready?
875
00:42:45,720 --> 00:42:47,160
Not bad news I hope?
876
00:42:48,520 --> 00:42:49,920
It's from the Major.
877
00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:51,440
Oh dear.
878
00:42:51,520 --> 00:42:52,640
Dry cleaning bill?
879
00:42:54,440 --> 00:42:55,200
May I?
880
00:42:59,160 --> 00:43:00,640
Dear Vera,
881
00:43:00,720 --> 00:43:03,840
so taken was I by your
pluck and fortitude,
882
00:43:03,920 --> 00:43:07,400
not to mention your
delightful hors d'oeuvres,
883
00:43:07,480 --> 00:43:09,080
that I would wish to see...
884
00:43:12,240 --> 00:43:13,360
See you again.
885
00:43:14,960 --> 00:43:18,280
There's only one mom
that I want to see again.
886
00:43:20,440 --> 00:43:23,160
Today would have been
Cyril's 70th birthday.
887
00:43:24,760 --> 00:43:27,120
I expected to be
surrounded by children
888
00:43:27,200 --> 00:43:28,800
and grandchildren by now.
889
00:43:30,480 --> 00:43:31,440
He was a brave man.
890
00:43:32,960 --> 00:43:34,440
The bravest.
891
00:43:35,640 --> 00:43:36,600
And the best.
892
00:43:38,240 --> 00:43:39,720
He would've been proud of you.
893
00:43:43,480 --> 00:43:44,680
Come along!
894
00:43:44,760 --> 00:43:46,720
Those bells aren't going
to ring themselves.
895
00:43:53,720 --> 00:43:56,560
[theme song plays]
62577
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