Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,600 --> 00:00:04,855
CHRISSY: Are you sure we should
do our project on a whale?
2
00:00:04,939 --> 00:00:06,924
What about all the cooler
unsolved mysteries,
3
00:00:07,009 --> 00:00:08,371
like people who jog for fun?
4
00:00:08,456 --> 00:00:11,151
This isn't just any whale.
This is 52.
5
00:00:11,236 --> 00:00:13,096
He spent his life
calling out at 52 hertz,
6
00:00:13,181 --> 00:00:15,887
which is too high a frequency
for other whales to hear.
7
00:00:15,971 --> 00:00:17,824
Sounds like
his life's a beach.
8
00:00:17,908 --> 00:00:19,895
Hey-oh! Ha.
Still work shopping that one.
9
00:00:19,979 --> 00:00:21,665
Well, maybe the song
isn't for other whales.
10
00:00:21,749 --> 00:00:22,885
You know,
it's just for himself.
11
00:00:22,969 --> 00:00:24,404
It's like when I sing
Stevie Nicks while
12
00:00:24,488 --> 00:00:25,907
eating a sub at Hamboni's...
13
00:00:25,991 --> 00:00:27,444
It's for me,
and everyone else can...
14
00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:28,746
BOTH: Stand back.
15
00:00:28,830 --> 00:00:30,346
Wait, you sing
at the Hamboni's?
16
00:00:30,431 --> 00:00:31,919
Yeah, man,
their subs are ridick.
17
00:00:32,003 --> 00:00:33,173
AMALIA: Dinner's ready!
18
00:00:34,308 --> 00:00:36,932
Chrissy, Benny has told us
so much about you.
19
00:00:37,017 --> 00:00:38,634
Did you pass your
algebra test retake?
20
00:00:38,719 --> 00:00:40,134
- Mom.
- Oh, my God, yeah, wow.
21
00:00:40,219 --> 00:00:41,871
[chuckles] I did.
- Oh... sorry.
22
00:00:41,990 --> 00:00:43,643
I tell my parents everything.
- Nah, that's OK.
23
00:00:43,727 --> 00:00:44,533
Congrats.
24
00:00:44,618 --> 00:00:46,159
Miss Kim can be
cold-blooded when grading,
25
00:00:46,243 --> 00:00:47,800
but I guess all lizard people
are like that.
26
00:00:47,884 --> 00:00:48,553
Ay, no.
27
00:00:48,637 --> 00:00:49,855
[laughter]
28
00:00:49,939 --> 00:00:51,171
Don't worry about
eating too much.
29
00:00:51,255 --> 00:00:52,941
We have plenty left over.
30
00:00:53,025 --> 00:00:54,678
So if you want seconds,
or third, or fourths...
31
00:00:54,762 --> 00:00:56,479
Our mom likes to
have us all split our pants.
32
00:00:56,563 --> 00:00:57,665
It's the Filipino way.
33
00:00:57,750 --> 00:00:59,388
It's the Amalia way.
[laughter]
34
00:00:59,472 --> 00:01:01,267
- Oh, you two.
- I love this.
35
00:01:01,352 --> 00:01:03,189
It's like I'm in an ABC sitcom.
36
00:01:03,380 --> 00:01:05,132
Sinister music
and chortling...
37
00:01:05,216 --> 00:01:07,838
You better not go for a
second helping, fat boy.
38
00:01:07,922 --> 00:01:10,510
You think Chrissy wants a boy
with a paunch like that?
39
00:01:10,594 --> 00:01:14,284
Even if you sucked it in you'd
just push out your man boobs.
40
00:01:14,368 --> 00:01:15,587
[sinister laugh]
41
00:01:15,672 --> 00:01:17,158
- No boobs!
- Say what?
42
00:01:17,243 --> 00:01:19,360
I mean, no boos, only yays
43
00:01:19,445 --> 00:01:21,572
because this meal
was A-plus, Mom.
44
00:01:21,657 --> 00:01:23,978
[chuckles] And it was
so great, I'm done.
45
00:01:24,121 --> 00:01:26,091
May I please be
excused to feed Otis?
46
00:01:27,628 --> 00:01:29,478
I gotta be honest,
between the fresh food
47
00:01:29,563 --> 00:01:30,783
and the reusable plates,
48
00:01:30,868 --> 00:01:32,610
I feel like
I'm in a five-star restaurant.
49
00:01:32,695 --> 00:01:34,281
Is everything OK at home?
50
00:01:34,475 --> 00:01:35,540
No.
51
00:01:35,644 --> 00:01:37,786
I'm just kidding. Ha ha!
Sort of.
52
00:01:37,871 --> 00:01:39,845
May I be excused to
help Bennigan feed Otis?
53
00:01:39,930 --> 00:01:40,939
Of course.
54
00:01:41,024 --> 00:01:42,544
Get some gloves though.
He snaps.
55
00:01:42,629 --> 00:01:44,382
Otis, not Bennigan.
56
00:01:44,629 --> 00:01:46,682
BENNIGAN: [coughing]
57
00:01:47,244 --> 00:01:48,294
No more.
58
00:01:48,379 --> 00:01:49,898
I've done enough.
I'm done.
59
00:01:49,989 --> 00:01:51,141
[toilet flushes]
60
00:01:51,264 --> 00:01:53,528
Oh, Chrissy, hi.
Hello.
61
00:01:53,613 --> 00:01:55,626
Hey, I was coming
to help you with Otis.
62
00:01:55,711 --> 00:01:56,587
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
63
00:01:56,672 --> 00:01:58,415
Yeah, let's feed
that reptilian fiend. Ha.
64
00:01:58,626 --> 00:01:59,923
Uh... you OK?
65
00:02:00,008 --> 00:02:02,103
As OK as the classic
and underperformed
66
00:02:02,188 --> 00:02:03,745
Rodgers
and Hammerstein musical.
67
00:02:03,830 --> 00:02:05,814
[both chuckle awkwardly]
68
00:02:06,161 --> 00:02:07,682
AMALIA: You sure you don't
want anything else?
69
00:02:07,766 --> 00:02:09,293
Some soda cans?
A popcorn machine?
70
00:02:09,378 --> 00:02:11,087
Iggy, give the girl
our fruit bowl.
71
00:02:11,172 --> 00:02:13,859
No, no, I'm fine.
Thank you for having me over.
72
00:02:13,944 --> 00:02:16,106
Now I won't have to scrounge
for food at the 7-Eleven
73
00:02:16,191 --> 00:02:17,587
for a whole other week.
74
00:02:17,672 --> 00:02:19,752
Ha, ha, ha, just
joshing, kind of.
75
00:02:19,837 --> 00:02:20,854
Thanks again.
76
00:02:20,939 --> 00:02:23,244
[eerie music]
77
00:02:23,622 --> 00:02:24,947
Hmm.
78
00:02:28,014 --> 00:02:29,616
[whoosh]
79
00:02:32,809 --> 00:02:34,980
[hums]
80
00:02:36,381 --> 00:02:37,846
CHRISSY AS LIZARD:
Whoa, that can't be.
81
00:02:37,930 --> 00:02:39,455
BENNIGAN: A self-portrait...
no better way
82
00:02:39,539 --> 00:02:41,024
to face the truth
about yourself
83
00:02:41,108 --> 00:02:42,126
and try to change who you are.
84
00:02:42,210 --> 00:02:43,236
CHRISSY AS LIZARD: Damn.
85
00:02:43,321 --> 00:02:45,441
Could use a couple
more inches of fat gut.
86
00:02:45,804 --> 00:02:47,275
CHRISSY AS LIZARD:
I gotta help him.
87
00:02:47,574 --> 00:02:49,728
Holy shit, do lizards
have two penises?
88
00:02:49,859 --> 00:02:51,103
[dramatic music]
89
00:02:51,188 --> 00:02:52,580
*LITTLE DEMON*
Season 01 Episode 06
90
00:02:52,665 --> 00:02:54,355
Episode Title: "The Antichrist's Monster"
Aired on: September 22, 2022.
91
00:02:54,440 --> 00:02:55,820
?? ??
92
00:02:55,905 --> 00:02:57,096
[crickets chirping]
93
00:02:57,212 --> 00:02:59,495
[knife scraping]
- Hey, Mom, I have a question.
94
00:02:59,579 --> 00:03:02,567
Let's say I have a friend who
may or may not have a problem.
95
00:03:02,651 --> 00:03:03,620
A friend, huh?
96
00:03:03,705 --> 00:03:05,174
You don't have to
speak in code, honey.
97
00:03:05,258 --> 00:03:06,908
Masturbation
is perfectly natural.
98
00:03:06,993 --> 00:03:09,197
And girls can do it too.
- What? Eew! No!
99
00:03:09,282 --> 00:03:11,451
It's a necessary destressor,
and you can do it anywhere...
100
00:03:11,535 --> 00:03:13,088
- Jesus. Never mind. Forget it.
- ...In bed, in the school
101
00:03:13,172 --> 00:03:14,736
bathroom, before a test.
102
00:03:16,111 --> 00:03:17,745
Hey, Snake with
Arms, my dad around?
103
00:03:17,830 --> 00:03:19,835
I got this friend I want
to help and thought maybe
104
00:03:19,919 --> 00:03:21,626
there was a power that...
105
00:03:25,431 --> 00:03:27,874
Wait, that's not... what is
everyone's obsession with...
106
00:03:28,784 --> 00:03:31,740
Come on, don't you want
to chew your yeti bone
107
00:03:31,910 --> 00:03:33,629
or fetch your gorgon balls?
108
00:03:33,713 --> 00:03:36,184
Snake with Arms, I told you
to leave me alone.
109
00:03:38,895 --> 00:03:40,173
Flicking the bean already?
110
00:03:40,258 --> 00:03:42,947
God damn it, I can't deal
with this shit right now.
111
00:03:43,032 --> 00:03:44,852
She-she can't see me like this.
112
00:03:44,936 --> 00:03:46,198
Tell her to go to my study.
113
00:03:46,283 --> 00:03:47,524
She'll find what
she needs there.
114
00:03:47,608 --> 00:03:50,347
It ain't me,
but it's the next best thing.
115
00:03:54,187 --> 00:03:56,426
My dad journals?
116
00:04:01,101 --> 00:04:02,354
[door slams]
117
00:04:02,438 --> 00:04:05,827
[suspenseful music]
118
00:04:05,911 --> 00:04:10,072
?? ??
119
00:04:10,564 --> 00:04:11,972
Hello, Satan.
120
00:04:12,056 --> 00:04:14,076
Which of your glorious
musings would you like
121
00:04:14,160 --> 00:04:16,047
to revisit today, hot stuff?
122
00:04:16,131 --> 00:04:17,275
How do I, um, change...
123
00:04:17,360 --> 00:04:18,611
I heard change.
124
00:04:18,698 --> 00:04:23,611
I have 2,503,859
volumes on changing...
125
00:04:24,070 --> 00:04:26,611
Ch-Ch-Ch-Changing
Bowie's contract
126
00:04:26,753 --> 00:04:27,994
Changing the game,
127
00:04:28,079 --> 00:04:29,908
a new way
to fart without sound.
128
00:04:30,026 --> 00:04:32,814
I think I changed the past
and fucked everything up...
129
00:04:32,898 --> 00:04:33,939
Wait, no.
130
00:04:34,024 --> 00:04:35,713
I just don't remember
that chair there.
131
00:04:35,798 --> 00:04:36,595
Let me finish.
132
00:04:36,680 --> 00:04:39,462
How do I change the way someone
thinks about themselves?
133
00:04:39,712 --> 00:04:41,533
How to change the way
someone
134
00:04:41,618 --> 00:04:42,737
thinks about themselves.
135
00:04:42,952 --> 00:04:44,119
Closest match...
136
00:04:44,204 --> 00:04:46,237
Changing minds,
A satanic discovery
137
00:04:46,322 --> 00:04:49,046
on manipulation and how
to make soft-brained losers
138
00:04:49,130 --> 00:04:50,383
give you shit.
139
00:04:50,467 --> 00:04:52,754
Well, I guess that's
the closest I'll get.
140
00:04:52,838 --> 00:04:56,695
[rumbling]
141
00:04:56,779 --> 00:04:58,182
[clink, ching]
142
00:04:59,819 --> 00:05:02,741
CHRISSY AND SATAN:
"735 BC, mercury phase."
143
00:05:02,825 --> 00:05:05,280
SATAN: Rolling hard
at King Midas's
144
00:05:05,364 --> 00:05:07,317
when I come across
this golden toilet,
145
00:05:07,401 --> 00:05:09,186
most beautiful
thing I've ever seen.
146
00:05:09,270 --> 00:05:10,790
Fucker wouldn't give it to me.
147
00:05:10,874 --> 00:05:12,794
So I used a new
trick to convince him
148
00:05:12,878 --> 00:05:15,833
that everything
he touches is gold.
149
00:05:15,917 --> 00:05:17,437
Ha, what a ding dong.
150
00:05:17,521 --> 00:05:19,408
He's so busy thinking he's
turning things into gold,
151
00:05:19,492 --> 00:05:21,645
he gave me this
solid gold shitter.
152
00:05:21,729 --> 00:05:26,589
I think I'll call this new
trick Mind Mess-em-ups.
153
00:05:26,673 --> 00:05:28,559
Bingo.
154
00:05:28,643 --> 00:05:29,861
[whimpers]
155
00:05:29,945 --> 00:05:30,892
[sighs]
156
00:05:30,977 --> 00:05:32,947
I guess I knew
this day was coming.
157
00:05:34,497 --> 00:05:35,949
Never show weakness.
158
00:05:36,049 --> 00:05:38,671
The only pain that matters
is the pain you inflict,
159
00:05:38,997 --> 00:05:41,201
Varsity Blues.
160
00:05:41,793 --> 00:05:44,466
Hey, Snakey, uh, I, uh...
161
00:05:46,244 --> 00:05:48,683
Shut up and fuck off.
162
00:05:50,398 --> 00:05:52,585
[whimpers]
163
00:05:52,794 --> 00:05:54,514
All right, I'll call her.
164
00:05:54,599 --> 00:05:56,119
OK, Chrissy, you got this.
Let's do it.
165
00:05:56,204 --> 00:05:57,714
Let's save our best friend.
[doorbell rings]
166
00:05:57,798 --> 00:05:58,509
BENNIGAN: I'll get it.
167
00:05:58,594 --> 00:06:00,322
SATAN: First, you want
to square your hips
168
00:06:00,407 --> 00:06:02,165
to establish dominance.
169
00:06:02,250 --> 00:06:04,134
Chrissy, to what do
I owe the pleasure?
170
00:06:04,219 --> 00:06:06,307
I got you the latest issue
of your favorite comic,
171
00:06:06,392 --> 00:06:09,345
The Roo-Stars, to remind
you that you're not alone.
172
00:06:09,430 --> 00:06:11,673
Chrissy, that's so
clucking nice of you.
173
00:06:11,758 --> 00:06:13,481
I do have one
more thing for you.
174
00:06:13,566 --> 00:06:15,620
SATAN: Rapid burp
their name three times.
175
00:06:15,704 --> 00:06:17,657
[burping] Bennigan,
Bennigan, Bennigan.
176
00:06:17,741 --> 00:06:20,830
SATAN: Then stare into their
eyes and yell with authority.
177
00:06:20,914 --> 00:06:22,600
CHRISSY AND SATAN:
Mind mess 'em ups!
178
00:06:22,684 --> 00:06:25,907
SATAN: Next, recite mantra
that summarizes
179
00:06:25,991 --> 00:06:27,911
what you want them
to experience.
180
00:06:27,995 --> 00:06:30,483
For example, you will
see blades of grass
181
00:06:30,567 --> 00:06:32,111
as little dicks.
[chuckles]
182
00:06:32,196 --> 00:06:34,790
You will see the
beauty in everything.
183
00:06:40,286 --> 00:06:41,305
[humming]
184
00:06:41,389 --> 00:06:43,220
Oh, family sculpture time.
185
00:06:43,305 --> 00:06:46,048
[singsong] Now let's see
what Benny sees.
186
00:06:47,285 --> 00:06:48,570
Yes. Ha ha.
187
00:06:48,655 --> 00:06:52,746
In the mind of every artist,
there is a masterpiece.
188
00:06:52,868 --> 00:06:54,721
[humming]
189
00:06:55,149 --> 00:06:56,408
Ugh.
190
00:06:56,493 --> 00:06:58,010
I knew nothing good ever
comes from flossing.
191
00:06:58,094 --> 00:06:59,538
I'll give you
something to floss with.
192
00:06:59,622 --> 00:07:01,878
- I'm hanging up.
- Just wait, you shrill cow.
193
00:07:01,963 --> 00:07:03,081
It's important.
194
00:07:03,165 --> 00:07:04,584
Bark Woofalo is dying.
195
00:07:04,668 --> 00:07:06,187
Wait, what?
He must have died years ago.
196
00:07:06,271 --> 00:07:07,370
What are you talking about?
- He didn't.
197
00:07:07,454 --> 00:07:09,463
His soul's been living in
the body of a hellhound
198
00:07:09,548 --> 00:07:10,863
for the past 13 years.
199
00:07:10,947 --> 00:07:13,736
Fucking God...
you body swapped our dog?
200
00:07:13,820 --> 00:07:15,573
I was in need
of companionship
201
00:07:15,657 --> 00:07:18,412
because some psycho bitch
kidnapped my newborn daughter.
202
00:07:18,496 --> 00:07:19,881
King of revisionist
history over here.
203
00:07:19,965 --> 00:07:20,983
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
204
00:07:21,067 --> 00:07:22,921
Anyway, hellhounds are eternal.
205
00:07:23,005 --> 00:07:24,624
But earthly dog souls aren't.
206
00:07:24,708 --> 00:07:27,697
They're too pure to live in
a corporeal body for too long,
207
00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:30,336
and it's time for
Woofalo to move on.
208
00:07:30,420 --> 00:07:32,874
But the dog won't
fucking die, OK?
209
00:07:32,958 --> 00:07:34,444
And I think...
210
00:07:34,528 --> 00:07:36,080
I think he's holding out
because he wants to see you.
211
00:07:36,164 --> 00:07:37,717
Oh, yeah, sure, sure, sure.
212
00:07:37,801 --> 00:07:40,556
Yeah, our dog, in a
hellhound, wants to see me.
213
00:07:40,640 --> 00:07:42,727
See?
Here he is, OK?
214
00:07:42,811 --> 00:07:44,196
Oh, that could
be any hellhound.
215
00:07:44,280 --> 00:07:45,333
Look, I don't give a shit.
216
00:07:45,417 --> 00:07:46,702
I prefer you don't come anyway.
217
00:07:46,786 --> 00:07:47,971
Wait, hold on.
218
00:07:48,055 --> 00:07:50,410
Wait, you and Satan
had a dog together?
219
00:07:50,494 --> 00:07:52,189
That's a massive reveal.
220
00:07:52,314 --> 00:07:54,284
Bark Woofalo was a
puppy we found together.
221
00:07:54,368 --> 00:07:56,889
We were high on reindeer urine.
We had just watched Zodiac,
222
00:07:56,973 --> 00:07:58,492
and Mark Ruffalo
was so damn good in it...
223
00:07:58,576 --> 00:07:59,846
Doesn't matter...
this is a trap
224
00:07:59,931 --> 00:08:00,863
to lure me into and kill me.
225
00:08:00,947 --> 00:08:01,767
What if it's not?
226
00:08:01,852 --> 00:08:03,736
This could be your
chance to say goodbye
227
00:08:03,820 --> 00:08:05,205
to the puppy you left behind.
228
00:08:05,289 --> 00:08:06,542
What do you know, Erwin?
229
00:08:06,626 --> 00:08:08,011
I've seen you eat
a slice of tomato
230
00:08:08,095 --> 00:08:09,854
that fell onto the floor
of a Dollar Store bathroom.
231
00:08:09,938 --> 00:08:11,111
I guess some
people have never
232
00:08:11,196 --> 00:08:12,519
heard of the five second rule.
233
00:08:12,604 --> 00:08:14,842
But all right,
you can kiss my ass.
234
00:08:17,863 --> 00:08:19,233
[school bell rings]
235
00:08:21,267 --> 00:08:22,711
[cheerful music]
236
00:08:22,796 --> 00:08:25,111
Good day, Santa, other Santa.
237
00:08:26,106 --> 00:08:29,529
Ooh, thank you, Santa.
238
00:08:30,333 --> 00:08:32,170
[squeaking]
Tiny Santas.
239
00:08:42,992 --> 00:08:44,644
[Bennigan gags, vomits]
240
00:08:44,729 --> 00:08:46,082
CHRISSY AS RAT: Oh, no.
241
00:08:46,275 --> 00:08:49,097
[coughing, vomiting]
242
00:08:50,447 --> 00:08:51,744
[evil laughter]
243
00:08:51,916 --> 00:08:53,369
EVIL BENNIGAN: Do you think
that purging after eating
244
00:08:53,453 --> 00:08:55,142
two full trays of
crap-a-teria food
245
00:08:55,227 --> 00:08:56,479
is going to work, fat boy?
246
00:08:56,564 --> 00:08:57,977
BENNIGAN: Why don't
you shut the hell up?
247
00:08:58,061 --> 00:08:59,251
What is going on?
248
00:08:59,336 --> 00:09:01,545
I'll shut up when
you grow up, piggy.
249
00:09:01,630 --> 00:09:03,088
You know you'll never
look like your brother.
250
00:09:03,172 --> 00:09:04,952
Stop!
Why can't I cancel you?
251
00:09:05,037 --> 00:09:07,358
Well, you could put down the
fork every once in a while,
252
00:09:07,443 --> 00:09:08,995
Tubs, but we both
know you won't.
253
00:09:09,080 --> 00:09:10,767
So I'd say you'd
need a miracle.
254
00:09:10,852 --> 00:09:13,674
And I don't see Kurt Russell
acting as a coach
255
00:09:13,759 --> 00:09:16,414
to a group of hotheaded college
all-star hockey players,
256
00:09:16,499 --> 00:09:18,318
[voice deepens] so
you're stuck with me forever.
257
00:09:18,402 --> 00:09:20,994
[evil laughter]
258
00:09:21,279 --> 00:09:23,499
I gotta be honest.
I didn't like that movie.
259
00:09:23,584 --> 00:09:25,462
Miracle?
Oh, I actually really liked it.
260
00:09:25,547 --> 00:09:26,999
I'm a sucker for
Patricia Clarks on.
261
00:09:27,161 --> 00:09:29,767
EVIL BENNIGAN: Well, she's her
generation's Joan Fontaine.
262
00:09:30,509 --> 00:09:33,165
[roaring]
263
00:09:33,545 --> 00:09:36,617
All right, bitch,
it ends today.
264
00:09:38,082 --> 00:09:39,927
Huh. Guess this
wasn't a ruse.
265
00:09:40,012 --> 00:09:41,540
[knife clatters]
Who did I just kill?
266
00:09:41,625 --> 00:09:42,908
The veterinarian.
267
00:09:45,986 --> 00:09:47,172
Hey, boy.
268
00:09:47,257 --> 00:09:48,575
[whimpers]
269
00:09:49,197 --> 00:09:52,056
The last toy I gave him,
Mixologist Mike.
270
00:09:52,248 --> 00:09:54,025
OK, reunion's over.
Let's go.
271
00:09:54,110 --> 00:09:55,478
Go? Go where?
272
00:09:55,563 --> 00:09:58,785
The Isle of Wepwawet where
all dog souls come into being.
273
00:09:58,870 --> 00:10:01,373
And if they're on the beaches
of Wepwawet when they die,
274
00:10:01,458 --> 00:10:03,439
their soul particles
get recycled
275
00:10:03,559 --> 00:10:04,931
into new dog souls on Earth.
276
00:10:05,016 --> 00:10:06,436
Oh, you're into
recycling now,
277
00:10:06,531 --> 00:10:08,317
the guy who jacks off
to oil spills?
278
00:10:08,402 --> 00:10:10,022
Are you coming or not?
279
00:10:10,107 --> 00:10:11,726
There's always
a twist with you.
280
00:10:11,972 --> 00:10:13,442
[whimpering]
281
00:10:14,053 --> 00:10:15,978
What the hell did I do wrong?
282
00:10:16,247 --> 00:10:17,798
Bennigan, hey, hi.
283
00:10:17,883 --> 00:10:20,306
I was just studying hard
or hardly studying.
284
00:10:20,391 --> 00:10:21,634
Chrissy,
the other day I lied.
285
00:10:21,719 --> 00:10:23,505
Oh, about what?
You don't like the way
286
00:10:23,590 --> 00:10:25,042
I roll my Rs
when I say "burrito"?
287
00:10:25,127 --> 00:10:26,847
When I said
I was OK as the famed
288
00:10:26,932 --> 00:10:29,620
Pulitzer and Tony Award-winning
musical, I wasn't.
289
00:10:29,705 --> 00:10:31,876
My life right now feels like
a slapstick tragedy,
290
00:10:31,961 --> 00:10:33,751
a much lesser known
Broadway musical.
291
00:10:33,836 --> 00:10:34,990
I haven't heard of
any of these, so I...
292
00:10:35,074 --> 00:10:36,159
I don't like the way I look.
293
00:10:36,243 --> 00:10:37,496
And sometimes
I make myself retch.
294
00:10:37,580 --> 00:10:38,854
And then I feel
worse about myself,
295
00:10:38,938 --> 00:10:40,757
and it's an unending spiral.
296
00:10:40,842 --> 00:10:42,295
You're the first person I told.
297
00:10:42,771 --> 00:10:44,455
I'm so sorry, Benny.
298
00:10:44,540 --> 00:10:45,651
You haven't told your family?
299
00:10:45,735 --> 00:10:47,033
They're so sweet.
- No, they are.
300
00:10:47,118 --> 00:10:48,845
It's just... it's hard
for them to accept
301
00:10:48,930 --> 00:10:50,447
that things aren't the ideal.
302
00:10:50,532 --> 00:10:51,642
You know what's weird?
303
00:10:51,727 --> 00:10:54,343
Everything in the world has
felt oddly beautiful lately.
304
00:10:54,428 --> 00:10:55,690
I assumed the chemical plant
305
00:10:55,775 --> 00:10:57,322
dumped waste
into the reservoir again,
306
00:10:57,407 --> 00:10:59,160
but whatever toxins
we're drinking,
307
00:10:59,245 --> 00:11:01,032
it's only made me
feel worse about myself.
308
00:11:01,117 --> 00:11:02,835
I wish I could do
something to change that.
309
00:11:02,920 --> 00:11:04,081
Not unless you
can change the fact
310
00:11:04,165 --> 00:11:05,963
that my brother can cut
diamonds with his glutes
311
00:11:06,047 --> 00:11:07,775
and I never will.
- Benny, that's not true.
312
00:11:07,860 --> 00:11:09,481
When I look at you,
I see a really awesome...
313
00:11:09,565 --> 00:11:11,502
Nah, nah, don't
worry about it.
314
00:11:13,531 --> 00:11:15,786
[whimpering]
315
00:11:16,339 --> 00:11:17,931
So you come here often?
316
00:11:18,016 --> 00:11:19,169
Announcement, everybody...
317
00:11:19,254 --> 00:11:21,397
This impotent old man
is accosting me.
318
00:11:21,482 --> 00:11:23,884
All right, all right, don't
come to me the next time
319
00:11:24,007 --> 00:11:25,134
you need a jar opened.
320
00:11:25,219 --> 00:11:26,839
ANNOUNCER: Next stop,
Isle of Wepwawet.
321
00:11:27,025 --> 00:11:28,677
Isle of Wepwawet
next stop.
322
00:11:28,995 --> 00:11:31,567
[distant barking]
323
00:11:34,059 --> 00:11:36,747
Look, when pugs fly.
324
00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:40,937
[peaceful music]
325
00:11:41,021 --> 00:11:45,680
?? ??
326
00:11:45,764 --> 00:11:48,117
Reminds me of when we
took Bark apple picking.
327
00:11:48,201 --> 00:11:49,479
That was the first time
we beat the shit out
328
00:11:49,563 --> 00:11:50,619
of somebody together.
329
00:11:50,704 --> 00:11:52,206
The guy tried to
steal that autumn crisp
330
00:11:52,290 --> 00:11:53,345
right out of my basket.
331
00:11:53,430 --> 00:11:54,849
So you busted his lip.
332
00:11:54,934 --> 00:11:56,361
And then you broke his ribs.
333
00:11:56,446 --> 00:11:58,399
- Didn't you also key his car?
- Oh, yeah.
334
00:11:58,484 --> 00:11:59,970
SATAN: [chuckles] Fuck him.
335
00:12:00,055 --> 00:12:01,774
[small laugh]
336
00:12:01,900 --> 00:12:04,330
You realize how unfair
this is, don't you,
337
00:12:04,415 --> 00:12:07,294
making me relive the trauma of
losing my dog all over again?
338
00:12:07,378 --> 00:12:08,791
Lose?
You didn't lose him.
339
00:12:08,876 --> 00:12:09,732
You abandoned him.
340
00:12:09,816 --> 00:12:12,138
Oh, the absentee father
is going to lecture me
341
00:12:12,222 --> 00:12:13,473
about abandonment...
that's rich.
342
00:12:13,557 --> 00:12:15,353
My daughter
was stolen from me.
343
00:12:15,438 --> 00:12:16,713
You know, what is
the real reason
344
00:12:16,797 --> 00:12:18,501
you needed me to come with you?
345
00:12:19,687 --> 00:12:22,065
Oh, shit, you didn't
have the guts to watch
346
00:12:22,150 --> 00:12:23,160
Bark Woofalo die alone.
347
00:12:23,244 --> 00:12:25,030
Oh, this coming
from a woman who
348
00:12:25,114 --> 00:12:28,503
spent her entire life literally
running from her emotions.
349
00:12:28,587 --> 00:12:30,174
Says the guy who had
his tear ducts removed
350
00:12:30,258 --> 00:12:31,643
because he
was terrified of crying.
351
00:12:31,727 --> 00:12:33,924
You got a real
holier-than-thou attitude
352
00:12:34,009 --> 00:12:36,870
for a shitty mom
who's only screwed up her kid.
353
00:12:36,955 --> 00:12:37,922
Oh, fuck you.
354
00:12:38,006 --> 00:12:39,548
Fuck you right back.
355
00:12:39,633 --> 00:12:41,931
[both grunting]
356
00:12:44,498 --> 00:12:46,118
[screams]
357
00:12:46,203 --> 00:12:47,621
Why didn't that work?
358
00:12:47,891 --> 00:12:49,878
SATAN: Caveat on this
reality warping...
359
00:12:49,994 --> 00:12:51,557
If their shit
is already warped,
360
00:12:51,642 --> 00:12:52,830
you could make it worse.
361
00:12:52,915 --> 00:12:54,233
Now you tell me.
362
00:12:54,318 --> 00:12:56,104
OK, there has to be
a way around this.
363
00:12:56,335 --> 00:12:58,422
Let's find him a miracle.
364
00:12:58,647 --> 00:13:00,674
CHRISSY AND SATAN: "Some
banging broad name Charybdis..."
365
00:13:00,758 --> 00:13:02,182
SATAN:... was looking
to get stronger,
366
00:13:02,266 --> 00:13:05,710
to help her daddy Poseidon in
a war against her uncle Zeus.
367
00:13:05,795 --> 00:13:08,950
Who am I not to intervene
in some domestic disputes,
368
00:13:09,034 --> 00:13:11,089
especially with two
dip shits I've been wanting
369
00:13:11,173 --> 00:13:12,591
to take out for centuries?
370
00:13:12,675 --> 00:13:15,364
I worked my magic to
discover a way to change
371
00:13:15,533 --> 00:13:17,134
the form of things around me.
372
00:13:17,218 --> 00:13:21,109
Now I can level her shit up
so she'll destroy Zeus for me.
373
00:13:21,193 --> 00:13:24,015
I call it
Matter Move Aroundsy.
374
00:13:24,099 --> 00:13:26,424
Ain't nothing bad
happening from this.
375
00:13:26,509 --> 00:13:28,123
Oh, hell, yeah.
376
00:13:28,207 --> 00:13:30,360
You may be an unreliable
support system in my life,
377
00:13:30,444 --> 00:13:32,548
but damn,
these powers are useful.
378
00:13:33,272 --> 00:13:34,490
BENNIGAN: I'll get it.
379
00:13:35,275 --> 00:13:36,806
Oh, hey, Chrissy.
380
00:13:36,890 --> 00:13:38,832
[burping] Bennigan,
Bennigan, Bennigan.
381
00:13:38,917 --> 00:13:41,289
[shouting]
Matter Move Aroundsy!
382
00:13:41,830 --> 00:13:45,041
[grunting] Oh, arms,
oh, yeah, that's a delt.
383
00:13:45,126 --> 00:13:46,298
Six-pack!
384
00:13:46,603 --> 00:13:47,712
?? ??
385
00:13:47,924 --> 00:13:49,720
Yeah, buns of steel.
386
00:13:49,816 --> 00:13:53,006
[sighs] Oh, ho, ho, ho!
387
00:13:53,090 --> 00:13:55,428
All right,
let's try this again.
388
00:13:56,238 --> 00:13:57,589
BENNIGAN: I'll get it.
389
00:13:58,032 --> 00:14:00,554
Oh, hey, Chrissy!
Wow, I just got hit
390
00:14:00,638 --> 00:14:01,856
with some hardcore deja vu.
391
00:14:01,940 --> 00:14:03,627
Hey, you been
working out recently?
392
00:14:03,711 --> 00:14:05,564
Whoa, I've never noticed
that muscle before.
393
00:14:05,648 --> 00:14:06,900
How about around
of mini golf?
394
00:14:06,984 --> 00:14:09,005
- Putter late than never.
- Ha!
395
00:14:09,089 --> 00:14:10,240
[laughs]
396
00:14:10,324 --> 00:14:13,113
[grunting]
397
00:14:13,197 --> 00:14:14,939
[barking]
398
00:14:15,024 --> 00:14:16,977
[arf!]
[splash]
399
00:14:17,062 --> 00:14:18,364
- Barky Woof.
- [howling]
400
00:14:20,111 --> 00:14:23,567
Oh, shit, he's headed
toward Bad Pussy Falls.
401
00:14:23,651 --> 00:14:24,869
This is all your fault.
402
00:14:24,953 --> 00:14:27,007
I'm not doing this
with you right now, OK?
403
00:14:27,091 --> 00:14:28,475
We have to save Bark.
404
00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:31,064
[Bark whimpering]
405
00:14:32,235 --> 00:14:34,065
Wait, you're the
stronger climber.
406
00:14:34,150 --> 00:14:35,164
I'm the stronger swimmer.
407
00:14:35,249 --> 00:14:36,249
I'll get Bark Woofalo.
408
00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:37,561
You throw me a tree vine.
409
00:14:37,645 --> 00:14:39,259
That's weirdly rational.
410
00:14:39,344 --> 00:14:42,048
Don't tell me you're
post-menopausal already.
411
00:14:42,422 --> 00:14:46,546
[suspenseful music]
412
00:14:46,630 --> 00:14:49,252
[whimpers]
413
00:14:49,336 --> 00:14:54,161
?? ??
414
00:14:54,245 --> 00:14:56,450
Hold on, Woofie!
415
00:14:57,115 --> 00:14:58,067
[distant meow]
416
00:14:58,152 --> 00:14:59,403
[both coughing]
417
00:14:59,619 --> 00:15:00,571
[Bark sighs]
418
00:15:00,656 --> 00:15:01,942
[distant barking]
419
00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:04,282
- Wanna wrestle again?
- Shut up.
420
00:15:04,366 --> 00:15:05,415
[doorbell ding]
421
00:15:05,500 --> 00:15:07,687
ANNOUNCER: Welcome to
Spike's Family Fun Zone.
422
00:15:07,772 --> 00:15:09,225
For your safety,
you may be randomly
423
00:15:09,309 --> 00:15:10,626
selected for a cavity search.
424
00:15:10,711 --> 00:15:12,865
Whoa, the security's
insane in this place.
425
00:15:12,992 --> 00:15:15,046
Spike, the owner,
is ex-military.
426
00:15:15,154 --> 00:15:16,639
When a bunch of
raccoons on mescaline
427
00:15:16,723 --> 00:15:18,135
destroyed this place
five years ago,
428
00:15:18,220 --> 00:15:20,480
he swore on his fallen
soldiers he would
429
00:15:20,564 --> 00:15:22,384
never let it happen again.
430
00:15:22,469 --> 00:15:24,422
I have five
follow-up questions.
431
00:15:24,672 --> 00:15:26,593
SINGERS: ?? Sports, hey, hey ??
432
00:15:26,677 --> 00:15:27,996
?? Let's play some sports ??
433
00:15:28,080 --> 00:15:29,432
- Yeah!
- ?? Hey, hey, hey ??
434
00:15:29,516 --> 00:15:31,035
Yah!
[ding]
435
00:15:31,126 --> 00:15:33,239
SINGERS: ?? Sports, hey, hey ??
436
00:15:33,323 --> 00:15:34,609
?? Let's play some sports ??
437
00:15:34,857 --> 00:15:36,443
I gotcha, I gotcha!
Yah!
438
00:15:36,595 --> 00:15:37,815
Yeah!
439
00:15:37,899 --> 00:15:40,554
SINGERS: ?? Let your hair down
and play some ??
440
00:15:40,638 --> 00:15:42,291
?? Today ??
441
00:15:42,375 --> 00:15:43,526
[wolf whistle]
442
00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:45,063
[giggling]
443
00:15:45,147 --> 00:15:47,034
[sighs]
444
00:15:47,118 --> 00:15:48,361
[eerie music]
445
00:15:48,446 --> 00:15:50,686
EVIL BENNIGAN: Why don't you
just give up, plumpy dumper?
446
00:15:50,825 --> 00:15:52,378
You should do the
world a favor and choke
447
00:15:52,462 --> 00:15:55,517
to death on chicken nuggies
like the scrubby fuck you are.
448
00:15:55,601 --> 00:15:56,552
Stop, just stop.
449
00:15:56,636 --> 00:15:57,621
You're being a dick.
450
00:15:57,705 --> 00:15:58,720
I'm not just a dick.
451
00:15:58,805 --> 00:16:01,395
I am a sick, unlovable
blob just like you.
452
00:16:01,480 --> 00:16:04,557
[moaning]
453
00:16:04,642 --> 00:16:06,656
?? ??
454
00:16:09,288 --> 00:16:12,077
[moaning, groaning]
455
00:16:12,162 --> 00:16:14,533
[screaming]
456
00:16:16,856 --> 00:16:18,439
Is this really happening?
457
00:16:18,627 --> 00:16:20,413
EVIL BENNIGAN: Uh, yeah, yeah.
458
00:16:20,498 --> 00:16:22,903
Our body is eating
everything in sight.
459
00:16:25,020 --> 00:16:25,938
Kobe.
460
00:16:26,061 --> 00:16:28,083
[crashing]
[commotion, screaming]
461
00:16:28,167 --> 00:16:30,120
[roaring]
462
00:16:30,204 --> 00:16:31,064
Oh, crap.
463
00:16:31,149 --> 00:16:32,890
SATAN: Much to my
chagrin, her body
464
00:16:32,975 --> 00:16:34,929
couldn't sustain
demonic aura, and she
465
00:16:35,013 --> 00:16:37,835
kind of became a huge
vacuum butthole with teeth.
466
00:16:37,919 --> 00:16:39,805
[chuckles]
Pretty fucking wacky.
467
00:16:39,889 --> 00:16:41,831
Dang it, I really got to
read to the end of these.
468
00:16:41,915 --> 00:16:43,118
[screams]
469
00:16:43,864 --> 00:16:47,054
Hey, buddy, I know
it seems like people
470
00:16:47,138 --> 00:16:49,091
are running away from you
like you're a monster,
471
00:16:49,175 --> 00:16:51,103
but they're not.
You're great.
472
00:16:51,188 --> 00:16:52,563
You're a...
- Monster!
473
00:16:52,648 --> 00:16:55,267
[groans]
474
00:16:55,352 --> 00:16:58,274
[crowd screaming]
475
00:16:58,359 --> 00:17:00,055
My life's work!
476
00:17:00,515 --> 00:17:02,173
OK, I can fix this.
477
00:17:02,268 --> 00:17:03,987
Focus, Chrissy, focus.
478
00:17:04,071 --> 00:17:05,657
No, stop.
479
00:17:05,741 --> 00:17:08,030
I'm so sorry, Bennigan.
This is my fault.
480
00:17:08,124 --> 00:17:09,231
You do this to me?
481
00:17:09,315 --> 00:17:11,774
I just wanted to help fix
the way you saw yourself.
482
00:17:11,859 --> 00:17:13,573
Fix me?
Fix me?
483
00:17:13,749 --> 00:17:15,877
Because you think
I'm disgusting too?
484
00:17:15,961 --> 00:17:17,614
No, no.
That's not it.
485
00:17:17,698 --> 00:17:19,819
- [groans]
- [chuckling]
486
00:17:19,903 --> 00:17:22,157
Another head? The monster's
got a double head now.
487
00:17:22,241 --> 00:17:23,960
You can all see it too?
488
00:17:24,044 --> 00:17:26,065
I don't blame
them for screaming.
489
00:17:26,149 --> 00:17:28,369
You were already
terrifying and hideous.
490
00:17:28,453 --> 00:17:30,109
And now look at you.
491
00:17:30,271 --> 00:17:32,074
[sinister laugh]
492
00:17:34,205 --> 00:17:36,046
Unleash hell.
493
00:17:37,637 --> 00:17:39,691
[roaring]
494
00:17:39,776 --> 00:17:41,429
SPIKE: Pyramids of Giza,
495
00:17:41,513 --> 00:17:43,882
Christ the Redeemer.
496
00:17:45,774 --> 00:17:47,761
Fire!
Hit him with a fastball.
497
00:17:47,892 --> 00:17:50,147
Bennigan, stop,
or they'll kill you.
498
00:17:50,231 --> 00:17:51,624
How is this legal?
499
00:17:55,474 --> 00:17:58,463
Thanks for saving our dog
and acknowledging that I'm
500
00:17:58,547 --> 00:18:00,233
actually good at something.
501
00:18:00,317 --> 00:18:02,237
You're... welcome.
502
00:18:02,321 --> 00:18:04,375
And I think we need to
chill on trying to kill
503
00:18:04,459 --> 00:18:05,744
each other every time we meet.
504
00:18:05,828 --> 00:18:07,899
It puts the things
we love in danger.
505
00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:09,919
[whimpers]
506
00:18:10,003 --> 00:18:12,257
I think it's time.
507
00:18:12,341 --> 00:18:15,230
[gentle music]
508
00:18:15,314 --> 00:18:21,426
?? ??
509
00:18:23,621 --> 00:18:24,874
Goodbye, buddy.
510
00:18:25,201 --> 00:18:27,855
I'm going to see you on
the face of every puppy.
511
00:18:27,939 --> 00:18:30,741
I know a piece of your soul
will be in all of them.
512
00:18:30,921 --> 00:18:33,984
I think some puppy pom
got in my eye or something.
513
00:18:41,644 --> 00:18:42,947
[mysterious sounds]
514
00:18:56,730 --> 00:18:58,616
[howling]
515
00:18:58,700 --> 00:19:01,856
[all howling]
516
00:19:01,940 --> 00:19:04,895
[somber music]
517
00:19:04,979 --> 00:19:11,927
?? ??
518
00:19:23,884 --> 00:19:26,305
[ghostly echoing cries]
519
00:19:26,389 --> 00:19:31,851
?? ??
520
00:19:32,086 --> 00:19:33,255
LAURA: Nope.
521
00:19:33,432 --> 00:19:35,991
Stop hurting him.
Please listen to me.
522
00:19:36,076 --> 00:19:39,098
This is all my fault.
He's only this way because of me.
523
00:19:39,182 --> 00:19:41,609
I rebuilt once.
I won't do it again.
524
00:19:41,694 --> 00:19:43,663
Let's end this.
- OK, I can do something.
525
00:19:43,824 --> 00:19:45,210
What can I do?
What can I do?
526
00:19:45,294 --> 00:19:47,147
SATAN: The only way
to stop the corruption
527
00:19:47,231 --> 00:19:50,053
is for another subject to
absorb the matter themselves.
528
00:19:50,137 --> 00:19:51,905
That's a no for me, dog.
529
00:19:51,990 --> 00:19:54,110
[burping] Chrissy,
Chrissy, Chrissy.
530
00:19:54,195 --> 00:19:57,268
Absorb-sy warbsy!
531
00:20:00,140 --> 00:20:07,398
You haven't seen
the last of me.
532
00:20:07,704 --> 00:20:09,642
OK, call off
the scud missiles.
533
00:20:11,780 --> 00:20:13,566
Don't look at me.
534
00:20:13,650 --> 00:20:16,093
Bennigan, wait.
535
00:20:16,178 --> 00:20:18,018
MOM: I told you, honey,
mini golf's for freaks.
536
00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:22,551
Then she tried to make
a move on me at the lake.
537
00:20:22,635 --> 00:20:23,953
It was pathetic.
538
00:20:24,037 --> 00:20:25,457
You should have seen it,
Snakey.
539
00:20:25,541 --> 00:20:26,525
[thud]
540
00:20:26,609 --> 00:20:28,998
[moaning] Please help me.
541
00:20:29,116 --> 00:20:30,444
Is that Bill the Behemoth?
542
00:20:30,529 --> 00:20:32,421
If so, I definitely don't
know where your
543
00:20:32,506 --> 00:20:34,742
Nymphs Gone Wild DVDs went.
544
00:20:34,826 --> 00:20:37,080
Matter Move Aroundsy.
545
00:20:37,164 --> 00:20:39,985
Oh, ha ha, shit, Chrissy?
546
00:20:40,069 --> 00:20:41,756
You got deep into my journals.
547
00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:43,059
Fun stuff, huh?
548
00:20:43,143 --> 00:20:44,895
Can you please...
549
00:20:44,979 --> 00:20:47,334
Yeah, chill.
I got you.
550
00:20:47,418 --> 00:20:48,636
Thank you very much.
551
00:20:48,720 --> 00:20:51,075
Oh yeah, Bill exploded.
552
00:20:51,159 --> 00:20:52,444
I keep forgetting.
553
00:20:52,529 --> 00:20:54,756
Snakey, fire up them DVDs.
554
00:20:58,646 --> 00:21:00,366
- Hey.
- Hey.
555
00:21:00,544 --> 00:21:03,399
I know you probably don't
want to talk to me right now,
556
00:21:03,483 --> 00:21:04,835
but, um...
557
00:21:04,919 --> 00:21:06,006
Oh, ha.
558
00:21:06,091 --> 00:21:07,607
Um, I was hoping
you'd stop me there.
559
00:21:07,692 --> 00:21:09,478
It seems like you want
to tell me something,
560
00:21:09,562 --> 00:21:10,397
so I'm listening.
561
00:21:10,482 --> 00:21:12,049
I... I shouldn't
have inserted myself
562
00:21:12,134 --> 00:21:13,386
into your life like that.
563
00:21:13,470 --> 00:21:15,256
I violated your body
and your trust
564
00:21:15,340 --> 00:21:18,129
by trying to change things,
and I'm so sorry.
565
00:21:18,577 --> 00:21:22,960
But, hey, on the bright side,
it all worked out, kinda.
566
00:21:23,482 --> 00:21:26,004
So are we cool?
567
00:21:26,096 --> 00:21:27,914
Chrissy,
you're my best friend.
568
00:21:27,998 --> 00:21:30,987
But after I told you my secret
at school, you didn't stop.
569
00:21:31,071 --> 00:21:33,139
Now everyone knows my private...
570
00:21:33,224 --> 00:21:34,361
Never mind.
571
00:21:34,514 --> 00:21:36,741
I know,
and I feel so awful.
572
00:21:36,826 --> 00:21:39,848
But maybe my dad
could help me fix it.
573
00:21:39,933 --> 00:21:42,163
I finished our project,
by the way.
574
00:21:42,248 --> 00:21:44,636
Have a good night, Chrissy.
575
00:21:45,100 --> 00:21:47,960
52 calls out year after
year to no response.
576
00:21:48,045 --> 00:21:49,624
There's no reason
he would do that
577
00:21:49,709 --> 00:21:52,097
unless no other whales
could understand him.
578
00:21:52,181 --> 00:21:53,217
He really must be
579
00:21:53,302 --> 00:21:54,972
the loneliest animal
on the planet.
580
00:22:02,943 --> 00:22:04,881
[whooshing]
581
00:22:06,439 --> 00:22:08,092
[rumbling]
582
00:22:08,747 --> 00:22:12,537
[quiet music]
583
00:22:12,621 --> 00:22:19,067
?? ??
584
00:22:46,923 --> 00:22:48,876
Excuse me,
I'm looking for
585
00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:52,350
a 1/8th diameter
spear tip drill bit,
586
00:22:52,434 --> 00:22:54,054
and I can't seem to find it.
587
00:22:54,138 --> 00:22:55,490
Cheaper brand's fine too.
588
00:22:55,574 --> 00:22:57,799
My budget's a little
low these days.
589
00:22:57,884 --> 00:22:59,965
I had money stored up
for emergencies
590
00:23:00,049 --> 00:23:01,916
and was given a severance
pay from the Pope,
591
00:23:02,001 --> 00:23:04,808
so most of my funds are going
towards this sort of stuff.
592
00:23:04,892 --> 00:23:05,860
I'm OK, though.
593
00:23:05,945 --> 00:23:08,049
I'm not telling you that
to make you feel better.
594
00:23:08,134 --> 00:23:11,088
It's just an instinctive
reaction when I see someone
595
00:23:11,172 --> 00:23:12,691
confused or pitying me.
596
00:23:12,775 --> 00:23:15,296
I'm now heavily medicated
to maintain the pain
597
00:23:15,380 --> 00:23:16,688
of the loss of my dick.
598
00:23:16,773 --> 00:23:19,203
And even though it's affecting
the filters in my brain,
599
00:23:19,288 --> 00:23:22,477
like over sharing, I can
still pick up on social cues.
600
00:23:22,561 --> 00:23:25,767
But yeah, I'm making a laser
to kill a little girl.
601
00:23:26,291 --> 00:23:27,643
The drill bits
are behind you.
602
00:23:27,805 --> 00:23:29,482
Ah! What do you know?
603
00:23:29,567 --> 00:23:31,767
This is perfect.
604
00:23:31,817 --> 00:23:36,367
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
43661
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
