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1
00:00:04,850 --> 00:00:06,850
A reading from the Holy Gospel.
2
00:00:07,490 --> 00:00:08,490
Which one's ours?
3
00:00:08,570 --> 00:00:10,970
She didn't send a photo.
4
00:00:11,050 --> 00:00:13,730
Her family probably
don't even own a camera.
5
00:00:13,810 --> 00:00:16,210
She'll find Derry
a bit overwhelming at first,
6
00:00:16,290 --> 00:00:18,570
just because of how advanced
everything is here.
7
00:00:18,650 --> 00:00:20,490
All the cracker stuff we have.
8
00:00:20,570 --> 00:00:24,530
They have some pretty cracker
stuff where she comes from, too, Erin.
9
00:00:24,610 --> 00:00:26,170
Oh, really? Like what?
10
00:00:26,250 --> 00:00:28,490
Disease? Poverty?
11
00:00:28,570 --> 00:00:29,850
No.
12
00:00:29,930 --> 00:00:32,650
You can get this wee woman
made of wood, right?
13
00:00:32,730 --> 00:00:37,210
You pull her apart and inside her
there's an even weer wooden woman,
14
00:00:37,290 --> 00:00:38,970
and you pull
the weer wooden woman apart...
15
00:00:39,010 --> 00:00:41,130
Are you talking about Russian dolls?
16
00:00:45,130 --> 00:00:46,330
What are you doing?
17
00:00:46,410 --> 00:00:47,690
Taking my change.
18
00:00:47,770 --> 00:00:49,530
Sarah, you don't get change.
19
00:00:49,610 --> 00:00:53,010
I telt you, Gerry.
I'm gonna give them a whole fiver?
20
00:00:53,090 --> 00:00:55,290
That's definitely happening.
21
00:00:57,850 --> 00:00:59,090
Did you just wink?
22
00:00:59,690 --> 00:01:00,890
No.
23
00:01:00,970 --> 00:01:02,010
You did.
24
00:01:02,090 --> 00:01:03,490
You just winked.
25
00:01:03,570 --> 00:01:06,930
Sure, winking's not in my notion, Mary.
What would I have to be winking about?
26
00:01:07,010 --> 00:01:09,850
I don't know. I'll find out.
27
00:01:09,930 --> 00:01:12,530
This is
the word of the Lord.
28
00:01:14,850 --> 00:01:18,370
And today we welcome
some very special guests:
29
00:01:18,450 --> 00:01:19,690
the wains from Chernobyl,
30
00:01:19,770 --> 00:01:23,690
who've come over to give
their wee lungs a bit of a clear out,
31
00:01:23,770 --> 00:01:28,730
because, ah, sure, there's all sorts
wafting about in their neck of the woods.
32
00:01:28,810 --> 00:01:30,130
Sister.
33
00:01:30,210 --> 00:01:32,970
Lovely job so far, Seamus,
but, you know, keep it moving.
34
00:01:33,050 --> 00:01:34,570
Rawhide's on in 15 minutes.
35
00:01:34,650 --> 00:01:40,410
Now, one might well question the wisdom
of sending you here, of all places.
36
00:01:40,850 --> 00:01:42,850
Out of the frying pan into the...
37
00:01:42,930 --> 00:01:46,530
well, maybe not the fire, but certainly
a different type of frying pan.
38
00:01:46,610 --> 00:01:49,450
Or some sort of wok at the very least.
39
00:01:50,210 --> 00:01:54,890
But please, don't worry yourselves
too much about the whole civil war,
40
00:01:54,970 --> 00:01:57,250
sectarian conflict carry on.
41
00:01:57,330 --> 00:01:59,170
There's really only one thing
you need to know.
42
00:02:00,170 --> 00:02:01,450
We're the goodies.
43
00:02:02,570 --> 00:02:03,610
Welcome to Derry.
44
00:02:24,570 --> 00:02:26,010
It's class, isn't it?
45
00:02:26,090 --> 00:02:28,570
Hmm. It's much how I imagine.
46
00:02:28,650 --> 00:02:30,490
Oh, because of my letters?
47
00:02:30,570 --> 00:02:33,410
Well, descriptive narrative
has always been a strong point.
48
00:02:33,490 --> 00:02:35,890
No, not your letters.
I see on news.
49
00:02:35,970 --> 00:02:37,770
What do you mean,
you've seen on news?
50
00:02:37,850 --> 00:02:40,530
You don't have news in the Ukraine.
You don't have televisions.
51
00:02:40,610 --> 00:02:43,130
- Yes, we do. We do.
- No, you don't. Really?
52
00:02:43,210 --> 00:02:44,410
Of course.
53
00:02:44,490 --> 00:02:46,170
Erin, stop hogging the Russian.
54
00:02:46,250 --> 00:02:47,930
Yeah, come on, Erin.
Give Orla a go.
55
00:02:48,010 --> 00:02:49,810
She's Ukrainian, actually.
56
00:02:49,890 --> 00:02:53,130
Yeah, go on, love.
Say something to Katya.
57
00:02:53,210 --> 00:02:56,410
Your name sounds a bit like "cat".
58
00:02:56,490 --> 00:02:57,810
God, aye, so it does.
59
00:02:57,890 --> 00:02:59,770
You don't know a Jack McGinley, do you?
60
00:02:59,850 --> 00:03:02,730
Moved to Moscow, '88, '89,
it would have been.
61
00:03:02,810 --> 00:03:04,250
- Seriously?
- No.
62
00:03:04,330 --> 00:03:05,890
- Stocky fella.
- No.
63
00:03:05,970 --> 00:03:09,130
- Curly hair, bit of a lisp.
- I do not know this person.
64
00:03:09,210 --> 00:03:10,850
Ah, maybe just as well, love.
65
00:03:10,930 --> 00:03:12,330
He's an awful prick.
66
00:03:20,370 --> 00:03:23,130
So, Katya, I've done
a bit of an itinerary for your stay.
67
00:03:23,210 --> 00:03:25,250
You should have received a copy
in my last letter.
68
00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:26,770
I don't read your letters, Erin.
69
00:03:26,850 --> 00:03:28,770
I'm sorry?
I don't follow.
70
00:03:28,850 --> 00:03:30,570
Your letters, they bore.
71
00:03:30,650 --> 00:03:32,370
- They're "boring".
- Exactly.
72
00:03:32,450 --> 00:03:34,186
- That's not what I...
- I can smoke here, yes?
73
00:03:34,210 --> 00:03:36,610
No. No, you can't.
74
00:03:36,690 --> 00:03:37,930
Mammy's like a bloodhound.
75
00:03:38,930 --> 00:03:41,306
Your ma said we could come up
and have a look at the Russian.
76
00:03:41,330 --> 00:03:43,690
- Ukrainian.
- Is this her?
77
00:03:43,770 --> 00:03:45,810
Isn't she cracker?
She's half mine.
78
00:03:45,890 --> 00:03:48,650
- No, she's not, Orla.
- Aye, she is. Mammy said so.
79
00:03:48,730 --> 00:03:49,970
You're so lucky, Erin.
80
00:03:50,050 --> 00:03:52,530
I begged my ma to let me have one,
but she said we've no room
81
00:03:52,610 --> 00:03:55,570
now that my dickhead, ballbag,
English prick of a cousin's moved in.
82
00:03:55,650 --> 00:03:57,650
Talking about you, James,
in case you're wondering.
83
00:03:57,690 --> 00:03:59,570
Yeah, that much was clear,
thank you, Michelle.
84
00:03:59,650 --> 00:04:01,810
Have you seen the one
Jenny Joyce got, the fella?
85
00:04:01,890 --> 00:04:03,730
Massive, massive ride.
86
00:04:03,810 --> 00:04:07,330
I've been thinking. Maybe time for me
to lose the rest of my virginity.
87
00:04:07,410 --> 00:04:09,410
He's definitely a contender.
88
00:04:09,890 --> 00:04:11,570
You help me.
89
00:04:11,650 --> 00:04:16,890
You put in good word
with your Cossack friend.
90
00:04:16,970 --> 00:04:18,650
So we can...
91
00:04:18,730 --> 00:04:20,130
Would you stop that?
92
00:04:20,890 --> 00:04:21,810
I'm very sorry
for all your trouble, you know,
93
00:04:21,890 --> 00:04:23,650
the whole hoo-ha at the power plant.
94
00:04:23,730 --> 00:04:25,090
Okay.
95
00:04:25,850 --> 00:04:28,290
When you think about it,
we've actually got a lot in common,
96
00:04:28,370 --> 00:04:31,770
'cause we understand what it's like to be
a young person from a troubled place,
97
00:04:31,850 --> 00:04:33,050
It is not the same.
98
00:04:33,130 --> 00:04:36,730
Chernobyl was terrible nuclear accident.
99
00:04:36,810 --> 00:04:39,090
You people like to fight each other
and, to be honest,
100
00:04:39,170 --> 00:04:41,410
no person really understands why.
101
00:04:41,490 --> 00:04:44,930
Well, there's actually
a political element to it, Katya,
102
00:04:45,010 --> 00:04:46,330
and there's a religious element.
103
00:04:46,410 --> 00:04:48,306
Mmm, but you're not
two different religions here.
104
00:04:48,330 --> 00:04:50,690
You're different flavors
of same religion, no?
105
00:04:51,810 --> 00:04:54,610
Well, yes, but...
106
00:04:54,690 --> 00:04:57,370
it's a little bit more complicated
than that, Katya.
107
00:04:57,450 --> 00:04:58,610
To me, is stupid.
108
00:04:58,690 --> 00:05:00,050
Oh, my God.
109
00:05:01,970 --> 00:05:02,970
It is stupid.
110
00:05:03,850 --> 00:05:05,930
It is so, so stupid.
111
00:05:06,010 --> 00:05:07,410
Who is this?
112
00:05:07,490 --> 00:05:08,690
Oh, that's just James.
113
00:05:08,770 --> 00:05:10,570
You are handsome.
114
00:05:10,650 --> 00:05:11,930
And also sexy.
115
00:05:13,050 --> 00:05:14,090
Is her English not great?
116
00:05:20,290 --> 00:05:22,690
What's happening?
117
00:05:22,770 --> 00:05:24,330
Why would she do that?
118
00:05:24,410 --> 00:05:26,290
- Why?
- Fuck knows. He's minging.
119
00:05:26,370 --> 00:05:28,890
She seems to be really
enjoying it.
120
00:05:28,970 --> 00:05:30,930
- Is he enjoying it?
- It's hard to tell.
121
00:05:31,010 --> 00:05:35,730
Well, if he's not enjoying it,
isn't that sort of sexual harassment?
122
00:05:35,810 --> 00:05:37,450
Yeah, we should put a stop to it.
123
00:05:37,530 --> 00:05:40,850
- Aye.
- Does anyone want a Fruit Pastille?
124
00:05:45,530 --> 00:05:49,170
And when Erin finished
reading me her poetry,
125
00:05:49,250 --> 00:05:51,410
she showed me some old walls.
126
00:05:51,490 --> 00:05:52,930
I showed you "the walls".
127
00:05:53,010 --> 00:05:57,090
I showed you the city walls,
and they are nothing short of spectacular.
128
00:05:57,170 --> 00:06:01,170
Ach, if she's not into walls,
she's not into walls, Erin, love.
129
00:06:01,250 --> 00:06:02,730
Have you any news, Da?
130
00:06:02,810 --> 00:06:04,050
Not really, no.
131
00:06:04,130 --> 00:06:06,730
Right. Shay Harkin was telling me
132
00:06:06,810 --> 00:06:09,450
you were in Duggan's bakery
yesterday lunchtime.
133
00:06:10,210 --> 00:06:11,610
That's hardly news.
134
00:06:11,690 --> 00:06:15,250
- Two buns he says you ordered.
- I often do.
135
00:06:15,330 --> 00:06:18,450
An apple turnover and a cream horn.
136
00:06:18,530 --> 00:06:19,890
A cream horn?
137
00:06:19,970 --> 00:06:22,130
That's not like you, Granda.
138
00:06:22,210 --> 00:06:24,330
Sure, you couldn't pay you
to eat a cream horn.
139
00:06:24,410 --> 00:06:27,050
Cream finger, it was.
Apple turnover and a cream finger.
140
00:06:27,130 --> 00:06:28,530
Cream horn, Shay said.
141
00:06:28,610 --> 00:06:29,970
Horns, fingers. Who cares?
142
00:06:30,050 --> 00:06:32,010
He swore on it.
Said he saw it being bagged up.
143
00:06:32,090 --> 00:06:34,050
Big Shay has eyes like a hawk, so he does.
144
00:06:34,130 --> 00:06:37,410
Shay said when you left Duggan's
you turned up Pump Street.
145
00:06:37,490 --> 00:06:38,970
Pump Street?
146
00:06:39,050 --> 00:06:41,050
Who do you know on Pump Street, Da?
147
00:06:41,130 --> 00:06:44,930
What were you doing heading up
Pump Street with a cream horn, Da?
148
00:06:45,010 --> 00:06:46,930
- I was visiting a friend of mine.
- What friend?
149
00:06:46,970 --> 00:06:49,090
- A new friend.
- A male friend, was it?
150
00:06:51,170 --> 00:06:53,490
Aye, I thought as much.
151
00:06:53,570 --> 00:06:55,770
Buying cream horns for his fancy woman.
152
00:06:55,850 --> 00:06:57,250
Sarah, what do you think of that?
153
00:06:57,330 --> 00:06:59,010
We met at the Stations of the Cross.
154
00:06:59,090 --> 00:07:01,810
- What station?
- Jesus falls for the second time.
155
00:07:01,890 --> 00:07:03,610
I could do without the details, Da.
156
00:07:03,690 --> 00:07:04,690
Maeve and me, we...
157
00:07:05,690 --> 00:07:06,946
We just get on well, that's all.
158
00:07:06,970 --> 00:07:09,530
- Maeve? That's her name, is it?
- Yes, that's right.
159
00:07:09,610 --> 00:07:11,426
Maeve.
That's what she's called, is she?
160
00:07:11,450 --> 00:07:14,330
- She is, aye.
- Maeve. Maeve. Really?
161
00:07:14,410 --> 00:07:16,690
- Maeve?
- Why does your mother make that sound?
162
00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:18,706
- I cannot believe this.
- I think it's a good thing, love.
163
00:07:18,730 --> 00:07:20,090
Just keep out of it, you.
164
00:07:20,170 --> 00:07:22,570
And that's who you
were winking at in mass?
165
00:07:22,650 --> 00:07:25,970
- Winking? At your age?
- Mm-hmm.
166
00:07:26,050 --> 00:07:28,130
Christ, I feel sick.
167
00:07:28,210 --> 00:07:30,210
It was only a friendly wink.
168
00:07:30,290 --> 00:07:32,330
There is no such thing as a
friendly wink.
169
00:07:32,410 --> 00:07:36,530
- Is there not?
- Our poor mother is barely cold,
170
00:07:36,610 --> 00:07:39,610
and you're straight back out there,
winking away.
171
00:07:39,690 --> 00:07:41,370
Your mother's been dead ten years, Mary.
172
00:07:41,450 --> 00:07:42,690
Look, I'll not tell you again.
173
00:07:42,770 --> 00:07:44,210
I'm sorry.
174
00:07:44,890 --> 00:07:47,050
I seem to have lost my appetite.
175
00:07:50,330 --> 00:07:52,850
You happy now?
176
00:07:52,930 --> 00:07:55,130
d Young at heart d
177
00:07:59,610 --> 00:08:01,530
I don't know.
I just find her a bit,
178
00:08:01,610 --> 00:08:03,570
"I have a fringe and cigarettes
and opinions",
179
00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:06,450
and she's also a bit, you know,
"I hate walls", and she's just not...
180
00:08:06,530 --> 00:08:08,530
Oh, the grateful, little,
peasant girl you ordered?
181
00:08:08,570 --> 00:08:09,650
Yeah... No.
182
00:08:10,370 --> 00:08:12,450
I just don't trust her, okay?
183
00:08:12,530 --> 00:08:15,610
And that thing she said
about my letters being boring,
184
00:08:15,690 --> 00:08:19,210
I really think she's playing some sort of
twisted psychological mind game here.
185
00:08:19,290 --> 00:08:21,050
Or maybe your letters
are just fucking dull.
186
00:08:21,130 --> 00:08:22,930
My letters are a gripping read.
187
00:08:23,010 --> 00:08:25,306
I'm not comfortable with you talking
about my girlfriend like this.
188
00:08:25,330 --> 00:08:27,650
Ah-ha! And she also fancies James.
189
00:08:27,730 --> 00:08:29,210
You don't find that a bit weird?
190
00:08:29,290 --> 00:08:31,130
Aye, that is a bit fucked up, in fairness.
191
00:08:31,210 --> 00:08:32,570
I can't get my head around it.
192
00:08:32,650 --> 00:08:34,570
I'm telling you, she's up to something.
193
00:08:34,650 --> 00:08:37,410
Even so, I need her to put a word in
with that big Russian ride.
194
00:08:37,490 --> 00:08:40,010
And I really like the fact
she glows in the dark.
195
00:08:40,090 --> 00:08:42,690
- I'm sorry?
- Because of the radiation,
196
00:08:42,770 --> 00:08:45,450
- they all glow in the dark.
- Right.
197
00:08:45,530 --> 00:08:49,130
She's also opened my eyes about
how we need to break down barriers here,
198
00:08:49,210 --> 00:08:53,170
to no longer define ourselves as Irish
or British, Catholic or Protestant,
199
00:08:53,250 --> 00:08:57,050
but simply as human,
with human hearts and human heads
200
00:08:57,130 --> 00:09:00,450
and human hands
and other human qualities,
201
00:09:00,530 --> 00:09:03,690
because at the end of the day,
we're all... humans.
202
00:09:06,050 --> 00:09:07,290
Hi.
203
00:09:09,890 --> 00:09:12,290
Incoming ride.
I repeat, incoming ride.
204
00:09:12,370 --> 00:09:15,010
Hi, everyone. This is Artem.
205
00:09:15,090 --> 00:09:16,930
Well, hello, Artem.
206
00:09:18,970 --> 00:09:20,170
Go on, then.
207
00:09:23,210 --> 00:09:25,690
She wants to have sex with you.
208
00:09:27,170 --> 00:09:28,690
He doesn't say much.
209
00:09:29,330 --> 00:09:31,450
Is he... is he tied to you?
210
00:09:31,530 --> 00:09:32,970
Yeah, he kept wandering off.
211
00:09:33,610 --> 00:09:37,490
Listen, I've a feeling Artem and
a few of the others are a bit homesick.
212
00:09:37,570 --> 00:09:39,890
It'd be nice for them
to spend some time together.
213
00:09:39,970 --> 00:09:44,530
So I'm having a bit of a soiree at
my place tonight. It's going to be great.
214
00:09:44,610 --> 00:09:46,370
I've got a chocolate
fountain and everything!
215
00:09:47,050 --> 00:09:49,130
Well, chocolate fountain or not,
216
00:09:49,210 --> 00:09:52,090
I'd actually prefer to keep
our Ukrainians separate, so...
217
00:09:54,290 --> 00:09:56,570
Oh, Christ. David.
218
00:09:56,650 --> 00:09:58,650
David Donnelly has just come in.
David's here.
219
00:09:58,730 --> 00:10:01,610
Right. Okay. Don't look.
Nobody look.
220
00:10:03,010 --> 00:10:05,010
Hi, do you have a playlist
for tonight, then?
221
00:10:05,170 --> 00:10:07,410
I'll need the sound system set
up by 7:00.
222
00:10:07,490 --> 00:10:09,850
Is your band playing
at this thing tonight?
223
00:10:09,930 --> 00:10:12,330
Oh, no. Christ, no,
I just do a bit of DJing at the side.
224
00:10:12,410 --> 00:10:13,610
Make a bit of extra cash.
225
00:10:13,690 --> 00:10:15,490
Wacca-wacca, cha-ching!
226
00:10:15,570 --> 00:10:18,450
Oh, my band, we don't really do covers.
Do you know what I mean?
227
00:10:18,530 --> 00:10:20,330
In this game,
you need a wee bit of integrity.
228
00:10:20,370 --> 00:10:22,570
Now, whatever you do,
don't forget the Grease mega mix.
229
00:10:23,850 --> 00:10:24,850
Yep.
230
00:10:28,170 --> 00:10:33,250
Actually, on second thoughts, I think this
party would be really great for Katya.
231
00:10:33,330 --> 00:10:35,970
Might help bring her
out of her shell a bit.
232
00:10:41,903 --> 00:10:44,103
d Spinderella cut it up one time d
233
00:10:45,023 --> 00:10:48,023
d Ooh, ooh, ooh, hey d
234
00:10:51,623 --> 00:10:52,823
Oh, you look very...
235
00:10:54,623 --> 00:10:55,863
boob-y.
236
00:10:55,943 --> 00:10:57,903
Yes, I like.
237
00:10:57,983 --> 00:10:59,343
We go now?
238
00:11:02,423 --> 00:11:03,503
Katya.
239
00:11:11,023 --> 00:11:13,663
Well, well, well.
240
00:11:33,063 --> 00:11:35,463
d She leads a lonely life d
241
00:11:35,543 --> 00:11:37,223
Size of this motherfucking house!
242
00:11:37,303 --> 00:11:39,183
Listen, I think James
might be in real trouble.
243
00:11:39,263 --> 00:11:41,703
Right. Struggling to give a shit,
if I'm honest.
244
00:11:41,783 --> 00:11:44,463
- Where is Katya?
- I don't know. Why?
245
00:11:44,543 --> 00:11:46,063
I must... I must give.
246
00:11:49,383 --> 00:11:50,703
Hi, girls.
247
00:11:50,783 --> 00:11:53,623
Have you got a Union Jack
splashed across your tits, Clare?
248
00:11:53,703 --> 00:11:54,783
I'm making a point.
249
00:11:54,863 --> 00:11:56,199
Is the point, "I'd like to get beaten up"?
250
00:11:56,223 --> 00:11:58,063
Me wearing this, it should be meaningless.
251
00:11:58,143 --> 00:12:00,103
These are just colors and shapes.
252
00:12:00,183 --> 00:12:01,863
This flag is not an identity.
253
00:12:01,943 --> 00:12:04,023
We need to take the power
out of these symbols.
254
00:12:04,103 --> 00:12:07,143
Genuine question.
Why can't you just be fucking normal?
255
00:12:09,783 --> 00:12:12,063
- Enjoy the chocolate fountain, Orla?
- Very much so.
256
00:12:12,143 --> 00:12:13,863
Focus, girls.
257
00:12:13,943 --> 00:12:15,463
Has anyone seen Artem?
258
00:12:15,543 --> 00:12:18,063
I untied him for his toilet privileges
half an hour ago
259
00:12:18,143 --> 00:12:19,943
- and now I can't find him.
- What?
260
00:12:20,023 --> 00:12:22,063
Listen, I know this might be
a bit shocking,
261
00:12:22,143 --> 00:12:25,383
but I think Katya is planning
on taking James' virginity tonight.
262
00:12:25,463 --> 00:12:28,183
I found condoms in her bag,
actual condoms.
263
00:12:28,263 --> 00:12:29,959
Like, I don't even think
they're legal in Derry.
264
00:12:29,983 --> 00:12:31,943
- Wise up, Erin.
- We have to stop her.
265
00:12:33,103 --> 00:12:34,223
- Yes!
- Yes!
266
00:12:34,303 --> 00:12:38,023
- Tune!
- It's our song, girls. It's our song!
267
00:12:38,103 --> 00:12:39,983
- I've lost Katya.
- Good.
268
00:12:40,423 --> 00:12:41,663
Let's hit the floor, girls!
269
00:12:44,063 --> 00:12:46,023
She doesn't love him.
She's just using him.
270
00:12:46,103 --> 00:12:47,463
She just wants something to do.
271
00:12:49,103 --> 00:12:52,183
But she can't do James.
He's not a pastime or a plaything.
272
00:12:53,583 --> 00:12:57,103
Ach, Erin, if she wants to ride James,
just let her ride James.
273
00:12:57,183 --> 00:12:59,583
Nobody else is ever gonna wanna touch
the poor fucker.
274
00:13:01,783 --> 00:13:03,783
I mean, maybe it's just his time.
275
00:13:03,863 --> 00:13:05,703
I mean, we're all gonna
have sex at some point.
276
00:13:05,743 --> 00:13:06,783
You probably won't, Clare.
277
00:13:06,823 --> 00:13:08,823
Aye, I can't see that, either,
to be honest, Clare.
278
00:13:11,383 --> 00:13:12,423
There you are.
279
00:13:13,623 --> 00:13:15,623
Oh, playing hard to get, are we, Artem?
280
00:13:16,983 --> 00:13:19,623
Or he could be, you know,
just not interested.
281
00:13:20,023 --> 00:13:21,263
Fuck off, toots.
282
00:13:23,143 --> 00:13:25,143
Shit. James.
283
00:13:26,343 --> 00:13:28,583
How could he bring
another woman into this house?
284
00:13:30,303 --> 00:13:32,223
How could he bring her here,
285
00:13:32,303 --> 00:13:34,263
into our mother's home?
286
00:13:34,343 --> 00:13:37,343
- Your mother never lived in this house.
- Shut up, Gerry.
287
00:13:37,423 --> 00:13:39,063
Right. Come on in there, Maeve.
288
00:13:40,263 --> 00:13:42,343
Now, these are my daughters.
289
00:13:42,423 --> 00:13:44,503
That's Mary, and this is Sarah.
290
00:13:44,583 --> 00:13:45,863
Hello, Maeve.
291
00:13:45,943 --> 00:13:47,223
Maeve.
292
00:13:48,383 --> 00:13:50,063
I'm Mary's husband, Gerry.
293
00:13:50,143 --> 00:13:53,263
We're Mary and Gerry
and we're living in Derry.
294
00:13:55,983 --> 00:13:58,143
I'll get the tea going.
295
00:14:00,783 --> 00:14:03,423
Right, I'll just grab my beads.
Be back in a minute.
296
00:14:03,503 --> 00:14:04,983
Just make yourself comfortable.
297
00:14:05,063 --> 00:14:06,583
You'll not have to ask Maeve twice.
298
00:14:06,663 --> 00:14:08,583
Sorry, love, did you say something?
299
00:14:08,663 --> 00:14:11,023
Gerry's name is on the house, not my da's,
300
00:14:11,103 --> 00:14:12,663
if that's what you were thinking.
301
00:14:12,743 --> 00:14:14,223
If what's what I'm thinking?
302
00:14:14,303 --> 00:14:17,543
Hobnob? Custard cream? Wagon Wheel?
303
00:14:17,623 --> 00:14:20,463
What age are you, Maeve, like, 30?
304
00:14:20,543 --> 00:14:23,103
- I'm 62.
- Sugar daddy you're after, is it?
305
00:14:23,903 --> 00:14:26,143
I just wanna let you know, Maeve,
306
00:14:26,223 --> 00:14:28,263
we'll never call you "mammy".
307
00:14:29,703 --> 00:14:31,863
- Okay.
- And I just wanna say,
308
00:14:31,943 --> 00:14:35,543
although I'm not happy
about this thing with me da,
309
00:14:35,623 --> 00:14:38,903
I have to give it to you,
that is a cracker blow-dry.
310
00:14:38,983 --> 00:14:42,063
Great volume. Lovely movement.
311
00:14:54,943 --> 00:14:57,343
Come on, Artem.
You want me and I want you.
312
00:14:57,423 --> 00:14:58,823
Let's stop playing these games.
313
00:14:58,903 --> 00:15:00,503
Look, I don't want any trouble.
314
00:15:00,583 --> 00:15:03,503
I'm begging you,
just leave me alone, please.
315
00:15:04,263 --> 00:15:05,583
Why are you suddenly Irish?
316
00:15:12,663 --> 00:15:15,023
Queue to the right-hand side, please.
317
00:15:15,103 --> 00:15:17,903
One Chupa Chup per person.
318
00:15:17,983 --> 00:15:21,423
James. Listen, I have something
to tell you, and...
319
00:15:21,503 --> 00:15:23,663
Ooh, Dib-Dab. Okay.
320
00:15:23,743 --> 00:15:25,183
I'm just gonna say it.
321
00:15:25,263 --> 00:15:28,343
I think Katya is planning
on having sex with you, tonight.
322
00:15:28,423 --> 00:15:29,983
- I know.
- You know?
323
00:15:30,063 --> 00:15:31,583
I'm meeting her upstairs in a bit.
324
00:15:31,663 --> 00:15:33,503
She told me to have some food first.
325
00:15:33,583 --> 00:15:36,543
Apparently, sex uses up a lot of energy.
326
00:15:36,623 --> 00:15:38,943
- You do not want to do this, James.
- Yes, I do.
327
00:15:39,023 --> 00:15:41,103
- You're not ready for it.
- I am.
328
00:15:41,183 --> 00:15:43,823
She doesn't love you, James.
She's just using you.
329
00:15:43,903 --> 00:15:46,703
Yeah, but the thing is, I don't care.
330
00:15:47,423 --> 00:15:49,383
I won't let you.
I won't let you do it.
331
00:15:49,463 --> 00:15:50,743
You can't stop me.
332
00:15:50,823 --> 00:15:53,103
Fine. In that case,
I'll just come and watch.
333
00:15:53,383 --> 00:15:55,183
- What?
- You heard me, James.
334
00:15:55,263 --> 00:15:57,063
If you insist on going through with this,
335
00:15:57,143 --> 00:15:59,383
well, I'm... I'm gonna make sure
you don't enjoy it.
336
00:16:00,463 --> 00:16:02,143
I'm skiving. Say nothing.
337
00:16:03,063 --> 00:16:04,863
Oh, Jenny is a bit of
a head mother isn't she?
338
00:16:04,943 --> 00:16:06,023
What?
339
00:16:06,103 --> 00:16:08,503
Oh, yeah. Big time.
340
00:16:08,583 --> 00:16:10,663
I've got some beers,
if you fancy a sneaky one.
341
00:16:10,743 --> 00:16:12,703
Just give me one minute.
342
00:16:12,783 --> 00:16:14,383
I just have to... I'll be right back.
343
00:16:14,463 --> 00:16:17,903
Just stay here. One minute.
344
00:16:19,943 --> 00:16:21,263
- Where's Katya?
- I don't know.
345
00:16:21,343 --> 00:16:23,383
Up there somewhere,
trying to mount my friend.
346
00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:24,983
I owe.
347
00:16:25,703 --> 00:16:27,623
And the plot thickens.
348
00:16:28,823 --> 00:16:30,503
Can you believe him?
349
00:16:30,583 --> 00:16:33,103
Flaunting it in our faces like this.
350
00:16:33,183 --> 00:16:35,663
I don't even know the man anymore.
351
00:16:35,743 --> 00:16:39,743
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us
sinners now and at the hour of our death.
352
00:16:39,823 --> 00:16:41,463
- Amen.
- Unbelievable.
353
00:16:41,543 --> 00:16:42,743
Jammy Dodger?
354
00:16:42,823 --> 00:16:46,463
Blessed art thou and blessed
is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
355
00:16:52,983 --> 00:16:54,303
James?
356
00:16:57,783 --> 00:16:58,783
James?
357
00:16:59,663 --> 00:17:01,623
Is there any need
for the size of this place?
358
00:17:02,303 --> 00:17:04,143
- James?
- All right?
359
00:17:04,223 --> 00:17:06,783
- What is going on?
- Trying to sort Clive out.
360
00:17:06,863 --> 00:17:09,903
- Clive? Who's Clive?
- Christ.
361
00:17:09,983 --> 00:17:11,743
You dirty, dirty Brit.
362
00:17:11,823 --> 00:17:14,063
- I beg your pardon?
- I know what you're up to.
363
00:17:14,143 --> 00:17:16,903
I'm not up to anything.
I should be up to something,
364
00:17:16,983 --> 00:17:19,703
but I can't find the person
I'm supposed to be up to it with,
365
00:17:19,783 --> 00:17:21,623
because this place
is like a fucking maze.
366
00:17:21,703 --> 00:17:22,903
Shh!
367
00:17:22,983 --> 00:17:24,983
- You'll scare Clive.
- Who's Clive?
368
00:17:25,063 --> 00:17:26,423
Clive.
369
00:17:26,503 --> 00:17:28,623
Clive is a wee Prod from east
Belfast.
370
00:17:28,703 --> 00:17:31,743
Clive came back from Ibiza, got on
the wrong bus at Aldergrove Airport,
371
00:17:31,823 --> 00:17:33,263
then fell asleep.
372
00:17:33,343 --> 00:17:36,223
Clive woke up in Derry,
surrounded by Russians and Fenians.
373
00:17:36,303 --> 00:17:38,063
Clive is absolutely shitting himself.
374
00:17:38,143 --> 00:17:39,503
So where's the real Artem?
375
00:17:39,583 --> 00:17:41,263
Giant's Causeway, probably.
376
00:17:41,343 --> 00:17:43,623
Foreigners fucking love
the Giant's Causeway.
377
00:17:43,703 --> 00:17:46,783
I just wanna go home,
but she won't let me leave.
378
00:17:46,863 --> 00:17:49,063
She won't let me leave.
379
00:17:49,143 --> 00:17:53,063
Um, I also think Clive may have had
too many disco biscuits on his holidays.
380
00:17:54,343 --> 00:17:55,863
Here you are.
381
00:17:55,943 --> 00:17:58,263
Thank God.
382
00:17:59,343 --> 00:18:01,783
Whatever you do, don't slag off the Pope.
383
00:18:02,863 --> 00:18:03,943
We're outnumbered.
384
00:18:05,703 --> 00:18:08,383
For God's sake, Orla,
you're gonna make yourself boke.
385
00:18:09,103 --> 00:18:10,463
I can handle it.
386
00:18:11,903 --> 00:18:14,503
James, what is going on?
I wait long time.
387
00:18:14,583 --> 00:18:16,423
You no longer want to do sex?
388
00:18:16,503 --> 00:18:19,223
No, no, no, I do want to do sex.
I really, really want to do sex.
389
00:18:19,303 --> 00:18:22,383
- Come.
- You disgust me.
390
00:18:23,463 --> 00:18:26,103
- You should be ashamed of yourself.
- Piss off, Erin.
391
00:18:26,183 --> 00:18:28,543
I mean, I know you're desperate, James,
but paying for it?
392
00:18:28,623 --> 00:18:29,783
What?
393
00:18:29,863 --> 00:18:31,543
You really thought I wouldn't work it out?
394
00:18:31,623 --> 00:18:33,423
Work what out?
395
00:18:33,503 --> 00:18:36,383
What the actual cock
are you talking about?
396
00:18:36,463 --> 00:18:38,463
I'm talking about the fact
that she's a prostitute.
397
00:18:40,943 --> 00:18:43,783
I am prostitute?
398
00:18:43,863 --> 00:18:47,583
Oh, come off it, James.
She's charging you for it, isn't she?
399
00:18:47,663 --> 00:18:51,703
- Just admit it.
- No. I mean, I don't think so.
400
00:18:51,783 --> 00:18:54,303
- I mean, not that I wouldn't consider it.
- Ugh!
401
00:18:54,383 --> 00:18:59,303
How dare you? I am poor Ukrainian,
so I must be prostitute.
402
00:19:00,383 --> 00:19:01,463
Hear me out.
403
00:19:02,463 --> 00:19:04,743
First, she comes on to James
here.
404
00:19:04,823 --> 00:19:06,783
What would possess her?
405
00:19:06,863 --> 00:19:08,703
Financial gain, that's what.
406
00:19:08,783 --> 00:19:11,503
- He attractive boy, Erin.
- He's English, Katya.
407
00:19:11,583 --> 00:19:13,903
- I have no problem with this.
- You should.
408
00:19:13,983 --> 00:19:16,543
Secondly, she owns condoms.
409
00:19:16,623 --> 00:19:19,263
They're in her bag. A whole packet.
410
00:19:19,343 --> 00:19:20,583
And I've seen them, people.
411
00:19:20,663 --> 00:19:22,303
- You are imbecile.
- "An" imbecile.
412
00:19:22,383 --> 00:19:26,303
And thirdly, all night,
wee Ukrainian fellas
413
00:19:26,383 --> 00:19:29,543
have been coming up
and giving her money they "owe" her.
414
00:19:29,623 --> 00:19:32,343
How the hell do you explain that?
415
00:19:33,263 --> 00:19:36,503
I organize, how you say it, whip round.
416
00:19:37,103 --> 00:19:40,423
We like to buy Jenny present
to thank her for nice party.
417
00:19:40,503 --> 00:19:42,943
Oh, you guys.
418
00:19:43,783 --> 00:19:45,303
Right. Okay.
419
00:19:45,983 --> 00:19:47,543
Yeah, that does sort of explain it.
420
00:19:47,623 --> 00:19:49,223
- Dickhead.
- Really, Erin.
421
00:19:49,463 --> 00:19:52,863
So not only you insult me,
but you've also spoiled Jenny's surprise.
422
00:19:56,023 --> 00:19:57,863
I think you should leave.
423
00:20:00,783 --> 00:20:02,823
Yeah.
424
00:20:02,903 --> 00:20:07,223
But great evening all the same, Jenny.
You're a credit to yourself.
425
00:20:17,823 --> 00:20:20,143
Come on, Katya, love.
Let's talk about this, please.
426
00:20:20,223 --> 00:20:21,663
I am finished talking.
427
00:20:21,743 --> 00:20:24,103
She is racist, patronizing bitch.
428
00:20:24,183 --> 00:20:26,703
I am "a" racist, patronizing bitch.
429
00:20:26,783 --> 00:20:28,703
Now, come on, girls. Language, please.
430
00:20:28,783 --> 00:20:31,983
Well, you don't really wanna go
to Jenny Joyce's house, do you, love?
431
00:20:32,063 --> 00:20:33,383
Yes, I do.
432
00:20:34,183 --> 00:20:36,943
Apart from anything, it has eight bedrooms
and a chocolate fountain.
433
00:20:37,023 --> 00:20:38,943
I hope you're happy, Erin.
434
00:20:39,503 --> 00:20:41,663
- You've just done us out of your Russian.
- Ukrainian.
435
00:20:42,783 --> 00:20:44,103
Good for you, Mr. Joe.
436
00:20:44,183 --> 00:20:47,383
She is hot and you're not dead, yet.
437
00:20:47,463 --> 00:20:48,783
Why not have some fun?
438
00:20:58,863 --> 00:21:02,983
Tell me this. Does Jenny Joyce's house
really have eight bedrooms?
439
00:21:03,063 --> 00:21:05,743
Aye. And some of the bedrooms,
440
00:21:05,823 --> 00:21:09,583
they have these wee, tiny bathrooms
attached to them.
441
00:21:09,663 --> 00:21:11,223
Imagine.
442
00:21:15,703 --> 00:21:18,943
Your girls, they're just not ready, Joe.
443
00:21:19,903 --> 00:21:21,823
Maybe see you in mass, then, eh?
444
00:21:21,903 --> 00:21:23,183
Aye.
445
00:21:25,263 --> 00:21:27,023
Here, give me your hand.
446
00:21:28,583 --> 00:21:32,423
Tell Sarah this is the fella
that blow-dries my hair.
447
00:21:33,343 --> 00:21:34,743
He's an artist.
448
00:21:38,023 --> 00:21:39,223
Take care.
449
00:21:44,343 --> 00:21:47,423
- That Maeve away?
- Aye.
450
00:21:48,023 --> 00:21:50,623
- Nice woman.
- Aye.
451
00:21:51,183 --> 00:21:53,263
Mary and Sarah will come round
eventually, Joe.
452
00:21:53,343 --> 00:21:55,463
It's just hard for them
to see you with somebody else.
453
00:21:55,503 --> 00:21:57,703
As far as they're concerned,
their mother was perfect.
454
00:21:58,423 --> 00:21:59,623
Piss off, Gerry.
455
00:22:11,503 --> 00:22:12,703
And they're right.
456
00:22:15,063 --> 00:22:16,663
You were perfect.
457
00:22:16,743 --> 00:22:18,743
d My heart is low d
458
00:22:19,543 --> 00:22:22,183
d My heart is so low d
459
00:22:23,143 --> 00:22:27,743
d As only a woman's heart can be d
460
00:22:30,223 --> 00:22:33,663
d As only a woman d
461
00:22:33,743 --> 00:22:37,423
d As only a woman d
462
00:22:37,503 --> 00:22:40,463
d As only a woman's... d
463
00:22:43,463 --> 00:22:47,463
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