All language subtitles for Columbo.1x07.Blueprint.For.Murder.AC3.DVDRip.XviD ENG

[Tires Screeching]
[Horn Honking]

[Keyboard Clacking]

Mr Williamson

Where is he?
He's not in

He's in there, isn't he?
No, really...

I don't believe you, ma'am

You can't go in there!
Mr Williamson!

It's incredible, isn't it?

Mm, yeah "Williamson City"

That's very impressive

Does it make you feel proud?
[Chuckles]

Haah! Haah!
Mr Williamson!

Mr Williamson

I said, "Where is he? "
At the construction site

Huh

[Heavy Machinery Clanking]

Where's Markham?
[Man]
He's up there

- Markham up there?
- Who?

Markham Markham
He's not up here
I think he's over on the bridge

Hey, Mr Markham! Mr Markham!

I saw him flve minutes ago
when he came in
What are you yelling about?

Why do people have to scream?

Thank you, thank you

Boy, that guy's sure in a hurry
Yes, he is

You wanted to talk
about the dedication later,
Mr Markham?

No, Carl, I want to
talk about it right now
What time is it scheduled to start?

9.00 in the morning, sir

And you've got the seats facing east?

East? Oh, is that east?
Oh, yeah, that's east

Now, we don't want the people
looking into the sun, do we, Carl?
No, sir

I'll rearrange the seats,
Mr Markham
Thank you, Carl

Beau! What a pleasant surprise!

Didn't know you were here
What?

When'd you get back?
just in time, it looks like!

- What's the matter?
- Williamson City, that's what's the matter!

- Ah, you spoke to your wife?
- No, I didn't speak to my wife

I just got back from eight weeks
in Europe, and I flnd she's off
at some phony health farm

Well, maybe I better explain in detail
You don't have to explain anything
Do you know what else I found?

A bunch of letters between
you and her and about
a mile-high stack of blueprints!

Well, it's the most
revolutionary concept I ever had

Boy, you know, Jennifer and I
assumed you'd be delighted
Delighted?

Let me tell ya, nobody throws a lasso
around my money without my consent,
and that includes my wife,

and you had better believe it!
Well, you were in Europe
There's no way to get in touch with you

You could've waited!
We were positive you'd agree!

Agree? Heh! Forget it, boy!
The joyride is over!

Well, but the machinery's
already been set in motion
Well, then you unset it!

And I'll tell ya somethin' else
Don't ever speak to my wife
or me again

She's too young to recognize
a con man when she sees one

And I suggest you consider what
you're saying You're not talking
to one of your underlings now

Oh, listen, I know exactly
who I'm talking to
Beau, Beau Listen, listen

This project can give you immortality
As long as that city stands,
your name will be remembered

Name?
I'm gonna tell you somethin',
jackson boy

My wallet is a lot more
important to me than my name

You really are a philistine,
aren't you?
What?

All you care about is money
You wouldn't recognize art
if you fell over it

We have a chance to do
something extraordinary here,
and you're trying to ruin it

That's right, right, right!

And if you're on some kind
of an ego trip, you flnd
somebody else to pay for it

Beau, I have a thought
Would you commission me
to design your burial vault?

Hm! That'd be about your speed, yeah
You really would like to see me dead,
wouldn't ya?

Well, I'll tell you somethin'
It wouldn't count for much
Well, maybe your wife will have other ideas

No, no Don't mean a thing
Because, you see, when I die,
all of my money goes into trust

Oh, Jennifer'll get her share every year
You can count on that

But there won't be any cash
to build cities with

Oh, and if you're thinkin'
of any uglies,

forget it

Mr Markham,
Beau Williamson was here
Get his wife on the phone right away

She's in Palm Springs
at some health farm
Golden Dunes Retreat?

That's the one! Get her!

She is there, isn't she?

I see

Well, when will she be available?

All right Thank you
Williamson do that?

Yes, sir He just barged right in,
and when he saw it...
All right Never mind Did you reach Jennifer?

They wouldn't put the call through to her
The guests aren't allowed
to have telephones

Call her back It's important

I'm sorry, but they said the guests can't
make or receive calls during their stay

I see

Then she's virtually incommunicado

No telegrams, no outside visitors

just wheat germ and pushups

When does she get reprieved?

Oh, she'll be back in time
for the dedication ceremonies

Thanks, Miss Sherman
I think I love you

I needed that

[Chuckling]
Beautiful, beautiful!

Hey, Freddy!

That is absolutely beautiful!

Bring that beauty back here!
What have you been doin' to him anyway?

He's improved a lot since
you've been gone, Mr Williamson
Oh, I can see that I can see that

Thank you, sir
Listen, you keep workin' him like that
I'll be back in a few days, check him out

I'll take him back to the barn
and cool him off
You better You better Hey, hey!

Huh! Gee!

[Chuckles]
Hey, yeah, man

Beautiful!

I don't believe it Hey!

Cool him out easy

Ahh

[Exhales]

[Clicking]
[Grunting]

[Country Instrumental On Stereo]

Hello, Beau

Surprised?

What are you doing in my car?
Waiting for you

Get yourself killed that way
Or the reverse

Get out

Over there

[Classical Music On Stereo]

[Doorbell Ringing]

[Light Switch Clicks]

[Indistinct Clattering]

[Classical Continues]

[Applause]

That's, uh... Thank you
Sit down, please

Thank you very much

Well, as usual,
I feel like an expectant father

But contrary to the norm,
each one seems to get more difflcult for me

I'm just grateful I have
so many wonderful friends

You know, I'd like to also take this
opportunity...[Continues, Indistinct]
Hey Where you goin'?

Over there
No one's allowed in there

What do you mean, no one's allowed?
I see 3O people down there

No one's allowed in there
without an invitation

You have an invitation?
No, I don't have an invitation

[Laughs]
That's what I'm trying to tell you
You have no invitation,

so, out

Actually, I'm a lieutenant in the police
My name is Columbo
Oh, lieutenant

Here You know,
and I came here...
Oh

I'm just coming here
to look for somebody
Who are you looking for, Lieutenant?

A Mrs Williamson
Well, I'll tell you, Lieutenant,
lot of people here

Why don't you wander around?
Maybe you'll bump into her

I see
Thank you very much
Okay

Bye ya

[Markham]
Yes You've heard this before, but you
understand, it's a fantastic building, really

Yes You see,
it's to be 32-stories high

It's revolutionary in concept, really,

because they won't be offlces
so much as living modules...

almost cocoons where a man
can coordinate his, uh...

his activities
outside the context of mere business

In fact, if he chooses, it can become,
virtually, a second home,

a kind of a... a remarkable place
of mobility and freedom

I don't know how the wives'll feel
about that, of course, but...

In any case, these units will be for sale
for all those who qualify

You're asking about the price earlier
We've been, uh...

Well, we haven't quite flgured it out
We've been dickering around
somewhere between 3O, OOO and

35,OOO, 36,OOO per unit, of course
Excuse me Excuse me
Excuse me

Uh, something you want?

Well, I didn't mean
to interrupt like this and barge in,
but I'm looking for a Mrs Williamson

I'm Mrs Williamson
Mrs Beau Williamson?

- That's right
- And who might you be?

Uh, Lieutenant Columbo
You called the police?
I did?

Well, that's what they told me
Lieutenant, I may not be
the brightest lady in the world,

but I do know whether
I made a phone call or not

Obviously, it's some kind of mix-up

Well, I'd like to get this thing
straightened out

- Can anybody tell me
where Mr Williamson is?
- I don't know

- You mean he's missing?
- Well, to be absent is not
necessarily to be missing, Lieutenant

I assume you understand the distinction

It's just that he's
out of town on business

And really, Lieutenant,
I didn't call the police

Well, this is very,
very weird, because

they told me that they got a call
from a Mrs Williamson,

and she said
that her husband was missing
and he might even be dead

Oh, that's ridiculous
Wait a minute... Goldie

Who's Goldie?
My husband's flrst wife
She must've called you

Well, why would she do that?
I guess because Beau's been
out of the country for eight weeks,

and he came back
on business for a day,
and I suppose, left again

She gets a little tense
when the alimony checks
are late

But that's hardly a reason
to call the police

Well, Goldie's a little possessive
Is that the word?

They've been divorced a long time,
but she still can't give up the ghost

Mr Williamson's a globetrotter
Sometimes he takes off
at a moment's notice

Doesn't even tellJennifer

No kiddingJust...
Yeah, well, I'm sure he'll
show up in a few weeks

If you'll excuse us,
if you've covered everything

[Columbo]
Uh, say, did you build this?

No No, one of
my staff did that
Oh

Yeah, come on
You want some?
Yes

Excuse me, please

Excuse me Excuse me
A little on the slow side here

Forgive me a moment
I just wanted to stop by
and tell you that's a terriflc building

I mean it I know a lot of people
like the old-fashioned stuff,
but I flgure you gotta keep an open mind

You have a new fan
Yes

Oh, absolutely It's just marvelous

Uh, tell me, how did you two meet?

Oh, Mr Markham designed
a summer house for us
It's incredible

Really, it's a work of genius
jennifer tends to get carried away,
Lieutenant

But you are a genius, and when everyone
sees your plans for Williamson City,
you'll be buried in commissions

- Mm-hmm
- Uh, what is Williamson City?

I'm superstitious, darling
Let's not talk about our project
till it's hatched

You'll have to excuse us, Lieutenant
One of the obligations of the trade...
have to mingle

Oh, sure
Listen, uh, sorry to bother you

No bother at all
Oh, and don't worry about my husband,
Lieutenant

Believe me, he's very much alive

He's dead, I tell you
I can feel it in my spine

Little lower, honey Ouch! That's it

I know more about Beau Williamson
than that little lady'll learn in a lifetime

Yeah, but you...
Lover, take my word for it
He has shuffled off this veil of tears

But how do you know that?
Because he always calls me before
he leaves town, and this time he didn't

Yeah, but if he didn't call you,
how do you know he left town?
I spoke with the child bride

You mean Mrs Williamson
The current Mrs Williamson

I call her the next ex

Oh, don't get me wrong, lover
She's half my age and twice as pretty,
but I like her

[Chuckles]

Beau reached the point where
he thought he needed a younger woman,
and she's better than most

I gotta say this for you,
you got a pretty healthy attitude

I can afford it He pays, you know

I tell ya, lover, if gold lam�
was legal tender,
I'd rule the world

That's enough for today, Miko
I'll see you tomorrow
Say good-bye to the lieutenant

[Speaking Japanese]
Columbo-san

[Continues In Japanese]

Sayonara
Sayonara, s�

She's a lovely girl
She is a lovely girl

Very polite
I don't know what she said,
but it sounded like she liked me

[Laughs]
Uh, oh, Lieutenant,
would you like to turn around?

I don't want to corrupt you

Okay, you can turn around now

Oh, flne Uh, the point is this,
Mrs Williamson...

My friends call me Goldie,
and since I'm standing here
practically naked with you,

you better be my friend

Would you mind repeating that last sentence?
I don't think I quite understood
[Chuckles]

I said, since I'm standing here
practically naked with you,
you better be my friend,

and my friends call me Goldie

Oh, I see

Well, Goldie,
uh, let me ask you this

Don't you think it's possible that
your ex-husband could've slipped up
and left town without calling you?

No way He never forgets

Uh, does Mrs Williamson
know this?
Why ruin a lovely relationship?

You mean to tell me that
your ex-husband is closer to you
than he is to his current wife?

Lieutenant, we were married
for 22 years

We never had any children,
so we spent a lot of time
getting to know one another

jennifer gives him youth;
for the rest, he comes to me

Now, even if he leaves town
for just a few days, he always
lets me know every time

[Ringing]

Yeah? It's for you

Hmm Thank you very much

Hello? Yes

Oh

All right I'll be right down
Thank you

They found Beau Williamson's car

- You see? What did I tell you?
- At the airport

Now, I'm gonna go down and check it out,
but it really looks like he left town

[Country Swing On Stereo]

[Stops, Switches To Country Ballad]

[Stops]

[Classical]

[Goldie]
Honey, I've got gold-plated instincts,
and I trust 'em

I am worried sick
But his clothes are gone

His passport, his suitcase
and his car is at the airport

What more proof do you need?

Uh, excuse me
Did I hear you say that he took his passport?

Well, it isn't here,
and he spends a lot of time in Europe

Oh, yes That's right Globetrotter
That's what Mr Markham called him

Mm-hmm Say, I noticed that he likes
country and western music

Does a bear like honey?

I've tried to broaden his tastes a little,
but it's impossible
That noise is all he listens to

Tell me something
Do you ever drive his car?

Me? No I have my own
What's all this guff about cars
and music and passports?

I feel like the original voice
in the wilderness

Don't you two understand?
Beau's gone and nobody gives a hoot!

Who is Dr Moss?

Oh!
What?

I see in your husband's appointment book,
"Dr Moss, 1 O:45" The 11 th of the month
That's tomorrow

- You see? He'd never leave town if he had
an appointment with his heart specialist
- Oh, he had a bad ticker, did he?

He has a pacemaker,
and his heart works perfectly

The fact that he's
missing the appointment
proves it's unimportant

Hey, look at this... blueprints
What's he doing, building a bigger house?

Those are the preliminary plans
for Williamson City
Williamson City?

Williamson City I remember that

Well, you mentioned that
down at the construction site
What is that, exactly?

It's an entire community
Churches, schools,

everything planned
from flreplugs to skyscrapers

- And Mr Markham, did he design that?
- That's right

I can't imagine Beau
springing hard cash
for something like that

Well, there may be some things
about him you don't know

It's possible he's a bit more complicated
than you think, Goldie

The day he came back he saw those plans,
and Elliot said he loved them

Oh, then Mr Markham saw your husband
before he left town

Mm-hmm They had a meeting
the day he came back,

and Elliot told me all about it

Are you a policeman?
Yes, ma'am
My name is Lt Columbo

Uh, excuse me for just one moment

I was out at the construction site
I don't know if you remember me or not

Well, is something wrong?
Oh, no, no, no
No, nothing's wrong

No, I wanted to speak to Mr Markham
Is he in there?

I'm sorry, Lieutenant
He isn't in

Oh Well, maybe I could
speak to him at home

He only goes there to sleep If you want him,
you'll flnd him at the university
giving a lecture to his students

Oh, really? Oh, you mean,
he teaches too, huh?

Mr Markham feels he has
a responsibility to share his knowledge

Boy, I'll tell you somethin',
it's a wonder the man flnds
all the time, right?

Pure energy, Lieutenant
He's a dynamo

A man like that throws off sparks
and never slows down

Most of us can't keep up with him
But we love it, naturally

I mean, well, everyone likes to feel that
he's participating in something important

He's an unusual man
Tonight's lecture, for instance,
on Egyptian architecture...

pyramids, tombs, things like that

He gave up his dinner hour to verify a date...
not the year, mind you, the date

He's... Lieutenant?

Lieutenant?

Lieutenant

Is this where he works?
Yes, it is

just wonderful

Marvelous offlce
Yes, it is

Spacious
Yes, it is

Conference room?
Yes, it is

Very handy, isn't it?
Yes, it is

Wonderful I mean everything...
the decor, the paneling, the windows
I'm glad you like it, Lieutenant

But, really, Mr Markham doesn't
permit anyone in his offlce...
I see he likes music

Uh, yes
Has it right here in the offlce, huh?

Yes, he does
Plays it while he's designing
Classical stuff

Uh-huh
My favoriteJust love it

[Classical]

[Increases Volume]

Really, Lieutenant, it's getting late,
[Turns Off]

and I have to meet someone for dinner
Oh, I'm sorry I didn't mean
to hold you up like that Forgive me

It's just when I start hearing this stuff,
I could just listen for hours I'm sorry

Yes Well, if there's nothing else...

No, I don't think there's anything else
Thank you very much Good night

Good night

What happened here?
An accident

Oh Tsk-tsk-tsk

Isn't that something?

"Williamson City"

If you ask me,
he doesn't deserve it

Who is that?
Beau Williamson

I know I shouldn't be talking about this,
but it's a shame Mr Markham
has to work for a man like that

You mean,
Mr Williamson did this?

Yes, he just barged
right in here the other day
and smashed it all to smithereens

Guess he didn't like it, huh?
People like that
don't know what they like

All they care about
is what it costs
Too expensive, huh?

Mr Markham has a saying:
You can't put a price tag on genius

Now, these are built
over the course of a generation
by an endless supply of slave labor

Oddly enough, the pharaohs of the time,
much like ourselves,

were greatly concerned
with the crime rate
[Door Opens]

The tombs were particularly vulnerable
because the Egyptians buried

vast caches of treasure
along with their dead royalty

So aside from being visually impressive
with their bulk and simplicity,

the tombs are also a marvel
of engineering skills,

built to withstand
the onslaught of thieves

By the way, it's said that some
of the engineers who built the pyramids

were sealed up in their own creations
to protect the integrity of the tomb

Fortunately,
today's architects are spared

that particular indignity
[Students Chuckle]

Lights, please

Uh, next week we'll move rapidly
into the Baroque Period,

and even more rapidly
into our flrst exam

Now, those of you with failing grades
will be permanently entombed,

[Laughing]
at least as far as
this class is concerned

Thank you

[Students Murmuring]

[Door Thuds]
Didn't know you had an interest
in scholarly pursuits, Lieutenant

Well, actually, I just came by
to ask you a few questions

Say, that stuff about burying
those Egyptians, is that true?

According to some experts

- Gee, I flnd that interesting; I mean,
particularly for a fella in my line of work
- Why?

Well, you know, the idea of burying a body
in a place where you can't flnd it

If I ever murdered anybody,
uh, that's what I would do

Well, not many people have access
to the pyramids, Lieutenant

Oh, you wouldn't put 'em
in the pyramids today

No, today you'd have to flnd
another place, like, uh...

Gee, I don't know
You'd have to, uh...

Like the, uh,
foundation of a building?

You know, now that you mention it,
that would be a terriflc place

I mean, you put a body under a building,
you wouldn't flnd it for a hundred years

I'll keep that in mind, Lieutenant,
in case I kill somebody

Now, if you'll get to your questions,
I haven't had any dinner

Gee, you know, neither have I
I can offer you some raisins if...

No No, thank you
Right
I'll tell you why I came by l...

Would you get
that board for me?
Oh, certainly

Uh, yeah

I came by because I'm still
looking into the disappearance
of this Beau Williamson fella

Disappearance So Goldie's got
you convinced now, hmm?

No, no, not necessarily
Oh, by the way, I stopped by your offlce
because I wanted to talk to ya

- I couldn't help noticing
that smashed-up model of Williamson City
- What about it?

Nothing I was just wondering
how it got broken

Why-Why do I have the feeling
that you already know the answer
to that question?

Well, your secretary did say something
about Mr Williamson coming in there,

and she said he was kind of mad
and he kind of threw things around

There's a perfectly simple explanation,
Lieutenant

Beau was angry and for good reason

We went ahead on the project
without his permission
It was very undiplomatic of us

I see

"Us"

Oh, you mean, you and his wife

Yes Well, Jennifer's, uh,
an admirer of my work

Oh, yeah Yeah, she told me that

Uh... Uh...
Gee, I got a little problem
No, I'll... Here, I'll get it I'll get it

Thank you
In any event, Beau came back
from his trip, and he saw the plans

It took him by surprise
Beau is a volatile Texan,

and when he gets angry,
well, it shows

Fortunately, when I explained
the project to him, he was delighted

I see Happy ending, huh?
Hm

But, uh, won't his disappearance
interfere with your plans
to move ahead?

Are we really back to that?
Lieutenant, all the evidence indicates
that he simply left the country

Well, we did flnd his car
at the airport
There you are That should prove it

It should, yeah But you know,
we checked out every flight list,

and there wasn't
one Williamson on it

Lieutenant, Beau is a...
He's a high-powered tycoon

He's got exotic business interests
all over the world

Now, isn't it just possible
for reasons not known to us

that he might occasionally
fly under a different name?

Yes That is possible

Then I wouldn't worry about it

Now, if you'll excuse me,
a very hungry architect
would like to get himself some dinner

Yeah You know what's
a funny thing about that car?

Car's got a tape machine in it,
and the glove compartment
is full of cassettes

Everyone of'em is country
and western music That's all

And his wife tells me this man
doesn't listen to anything else

Nothing unusual about that

No, except the radio dial was set at 52
Classical station

Turned it on Classical music

I see

You want a half a candy bar?
No

Anyway, it seems that
whoever was driving that car

must've been listening
to classical music

It's confusing

I'm sure you'll flnd an answer,
Lieutenant

I'm certainly gonna try

Anyway, thanks for your time

Oh Uh, as for your designs,

Mr Williamson did give you his approval,
didn't he?

I already told you, Lieutenant

- As soon as he got over his anger,
he gave me his full support
- Right

Thanks very much

- You know, that's some coincidence
- What is?

That music thing
You're a great classical music fan yourself,
aren't ya?

I saw your record collection
down in the offlce

Guilty, Lieutenant I like classical music,
along with a few hundred thousand
other people in this city

Me too I like it myself
Enjoy your meal

Yeah, yeah, I know him
He's that Texas guy
What's his name? Uh...

His name is Williamson
He's a very close friend
of Mr Markham's

Friend, huh?
Well, weren't they friends?

Not the last time I seen that guy
The last time I saw that guy,

he looked like he was
ready to wrap a two-by-four
around Mr Markham's neck

No kidding
Yeah? When was that?

Hey, look, Lieutenant
I got a building to put up, all right?
I'll see ya around

Yeah, okay I mean, I don't want
to interfere with your work
But, look, there's one other thing

Hey, look Talk to Mr Markham, will ya?
I'm just in charge of the nuts and bolts
around here

Well, then you know
about those columns
Heh! Not columns Piles

Oh, piles
So that's what they're called, huh?
Yeah, that's right

Well, tell me about 'em
Well, I'll tell ya

First we sink a hollow steel cylinder
in the ground

Then we flll it with cement,
and when it hardens, we got a pile

So that's what a pile is, huh?
That's right

Well, that's interesting
Uh, what do you do? You keep a record
when you put 'em in the ground?

Have to, and which one's flrst

You mean you could tell me
exactly what day each one
of these piles was sunk?

The day, the time, how long it took
and how many men I had on the job

Lieutenant
Still obsessed with pyramids?

Well, it must've been that lecture,
Mr Markham

I never really noticed buildings before,
but I'm interested in 'em now

Carl, you gonna check on
those HVAC estimates for me?
Yes, sir

I'll see you around, Lieutenant
Right

Hey, tell me the truth, Lieutenant
Are you interested in buildings
or builders?

What do you mean?
Well, let's look at your itinerary

You showed up
at my offlce, my lecture,
now at my construction site

Well, actually, I just happen
to have some spare time, uh...

Perhaps you should spend your time a little
more productively You're supposed to be
tracking down Beau Williamson, aren't ya?

Now, surely,
you don't think he's here, do ya?

Well, no I don't see how he could be

Well, if you'll forgive me,
I'll go back to my work

Certainly

I, uh... I assume I can look forward
to another visit in the near future?

Well, if anything interesting turns up,
I'll surely get in touch with you

I'm sure you will

Say, do you have the time?
I think my watch is out of order

It's, uh, 1 O:3O

I don't wanna be late
I got an appointment at the doctor

[Air Pumping]
Doctor, really,

I never intended
to have an exam...
Shh!

just a moment

Blood pressure's a bit low
Well, that's normal for me
Look, Doctor, really...

I know, you came here
to ask me questions
But a checkup never hurts

Now, do you get enough exercise?
Well, I, uh... I walk a bit

Doctor, listen,
I just had a police physical
Can't have too many, Lieutenant

The human machine
is a delicate instrument
There we go Now, you were saying?

Yeah This is what I wanna know

Look, it's 11:2O Mr Williamson
hasn't shown up for his appointment
Mm-hmm

Now, was this just
another routine checkup?

When you have a heart condition
that needs a pacemaker,
no visit is routine

You can roll down your sleeve
Oh, yeah

No, what I mean is this

Was this particular appointment
any more or any less important
than the others?

Well, let me put it this way
If Beau Williamson doesn't get to me,
or-or any other specialist,

he's running a grave risk
with his health

Well, why is that?

This is a pacemaker

You mean it's that big?
It runs on miniature
energy cells

Well, that's sort of like
an electric watch
Exactly

It regulates a heart
that can't keep
a steady beat of its own

Now, every year or so,
these energy cells
have to be replaced,

or the pacemaker becomes erratic
causing the heart to malfunction

It other words, you could die
Put simply, yes

Is this a big operation?
No, but it is
a surgical procedure

Could another doctor
besides yourself perform it?

Naturally But, uh,
knowing Beau Williamson,

I seriously doubt if he'd put himself
in the hands of another stranger...
no matter how competent

Mmm I see All right, Doc

Listen, I wanna thank you
very much for the time
and for the checkup

Well, it wasn't much
of a checkup, but you're welcome

Now, if you locate Mr Williamson,
tell him to contact me immediately

All right, I will
I'll do that
Are you looking for something?

Uh, do you have a lighter?
You won't flnd one here,
Lieutenant

And let me give you
some free medical advice
Stop smoking those things

Well, I-I've been trying
Trying isn't good enough

Remember, I deal in pacemakers

[Mumbles]

Mm

[Goldie]
Well, lover, are you satisfled?

Goldie, what are you doing here?

Same thing you are,
checking up on Beau
He didn't show up, did he?

No

Columbo, the man is dead
Now, he would never miss
an appointment with a doctor

He was always very nervous
about his health

Now, that may be,
but there's no proof

There's nothing solid to go on yet
Columbo, what does it take to
convince you that I'm right? His body?

[Panting]
Please, slow down
You're running me ragged

Well, that's the object
of the game

Isn't there anything
you do badly?
Yes Lose

I don't believe it
Have you ever lost?
Come on You're doing beautifully

It's just that I don't get
my arm back in time
Ready or not, I'm serving

Oh! That's embarrassing

Listen, your problem is you're getting
your racket back a little late
Throw me a ball

Can't, we hit them all out
Oh, I'll get it

No, let me
I'm getting embarrassed to face you

[Chuckles]

You know in Cannes,
they have trained dogs
that retrieve tennis balls

I'll tell Beau somebody's
got something on him

Elliot

What's the matter?

[Crying]
What's the matter?

[Continues Crying]
It's Beau's hat

A battered, bloodstained hat
by itself means next to nothing

Well, it looks kind of strange though,
don't you think?

We don't even know
if he was wearing a hat...
if he was killed

We don't But the question is,
where did it come from?

[Exhales]
When will the police lab
have a report?

Pretty soon
I told them to rush it
[Jennifer] I got them

Good
What'd you ask her to get?
His army dog tags?

Yes

You want a drink, Lieutenant?
No Thanks anyhow

What I could really use
is a cigar
Beg your pardon?

Here they are, Lieutenant
I flnally found them in the attic

But why you want them,
I don't know

You see, army dog tags
usually have a blood type on 'em
Yeah, here it is

B-positive
I'm sure glad he saved these
A lot of guys usually do

I still think this is
an exercise in futility
We don't even know if it's his hat

Well, it has to be
It wasn't new, but he had
a lot of them around,

and the brim was flxed
just the way he always wore it

Besides, it was custom-made,
so the label will be easy enough
to check on

[Phone Rings]

Yes? Just a moment
Lieutenant, it's for you

Thank you Hello

Uh-huh Uh-huh

Yeah, that's what I flgured
Thank you

Blood type B-positive
It's the same as your husband's
I'm sorry, ma'am

Then something did happen to him
He is dead!

Now, Jennifer,
you're jumping to conclusions
Don't be hysterical

Lieutenant, tell her that
blood on a hat doesn't
necessarily mean that Beau's dead

Well, that's true It doesn't
But I say we have a whole new ball game

[Classical On Stereo]

Sorry, strict orders
He doesn't want to be bothered
[Faint]

He's playing that music awfully loud
Bad mood?

He doesn't have bad moods
Let's just say he's been happier
[Blows]

[Continues]

Miss Sherman!

- Miss Sherman
- Yes, sir?

Would you get
Mrs Williamson, please?
Yes, sir

[Stops]

[New Song]

[Intercom Buzzes]
Yes?

Mrs Williamson
is on the line
[Line Clicks] Hello?

Hello, Jennifer How are you?
Feeling any better?

I'm not sure how I feel
I just keep thinking about that hat

Well, that's-that's what
I called you about You know,
I may have an explanation for you

What?
Well, I've got to check on a few things
before I tell you anything

You think you can arrange
to have Beau's will sent over?

Beau's will?
What on earth for?
just trust me

Get out of there

That won't help, Goldie
I've already seen 'em

You said you wanted to talk,
and suddenly I flnd you
poking around in my closet

Now, you've got no right
Two of Beau's old hats
left over from the old days

I had a hunch
there were three on that shelf

I don't know what
you're talking about
Oh, don't you?

Well, you planted that hat
You manufactured the whole show

just to back up your story
that Beau's dead
[Scoffs]

You're reaching, mister
[Chuckles]

Now, what's that?
It's Beau's will
It's an interesting document

Shows why you're so eager
to prove he's dead

Mister, you're farther out
than your buildings

Now, according to this,
the minute Beau Williamson's
offlcially dead,

you inherit 25%o of his estate

That's a lot of gold lam�
Much more than you'll
ever see in alimony

Now, you listen to me
You're after me for some reason,

and all I'm trying to do
is point out what's plain
as the nose on your face

That will doesn't prove a thing
Suppose we call Lt Columbo?
We'll leave it up to him

Uh, listen, uh, I can
save yourself the trouble

Ah, the omnipresent constable
What are you doing here?

Well, your maid let me in
She told me you were up here
with Mr Markham

I hope I'm not
interrupting anything
How long were you standing there?

Oh, not very long
I guess I did hear the tail end
of what you were saying

Well, then I guess you know
what kind of fertilizer
this boy is spreading around

Well, you know, actually,
uh, Mr Markham,
he's making pretty good sense

I mean, he'd almost
make a detective

That stuff about the will,
that's, uh, well,
that's good police work

Thank you, Lieutenant
I thought
you were my friend

Goldie, I am your friend

And because I'm your friend,
I'd like to give you some advice

I think it would do you
a lot of good
if you told the truth

I am telling the truth
Are ya?

You see, I just spoke to that nice
japanese girl that gives you the massages
Miko

And we had a little trouble
understanding each other,
but we flnally made it

She told me that she noticed
a bandaged cut on the back
of your leg this morning,

and it wasn't there yesterday
Pure coincidence
I cut myself shaving

I also went down to
the Bureau of Records
and dug up your marriage license

It turns out that you
and Mr Williamson have
the same blood type, B-positive

That's very good, Lieutenant
Obviously, she took one of
her husband's old hats,

added some blood
from a self-inflicted wound
and left it near the tennis court

Anything to make it look
as if Beau had been murdered

What about it, ma'am?
Oh, and another thing,

the lab tells me that the blood
is only 24-hours old

All right, all right
I did it I planted the hat

I was just trying to get
everybody off the dime

I guess I'm in trouble, huh?
Falsifying evidence?

There's no real harm done
Surely she didn't break any law?

Your help I don't need

Well, like Mr Markham says,
there was no harm done

As far as I'm concerned,
I think everybody can forget about it

Well, and I'll be going

Oh, Mr Markham,
may I borrow that will
for an hour or two?

Well, I'm afraid it isn't mine
It belongs toJennifer

Why don't I take it back to her?
I'm sure dropping it off
will take you out of your way

Well, suit yourself

Now, let me ask you
this question

Is this the flrst pile iron you sunk?

Yeah, that's pile D3
We did that the day of
the dedication

You were here, remember?
I saw you coming in

Well, what happens then?
You just dig a hole
and you just plop the stuff in?

[Carl]
We usually dig 'em the day before
I see

Then you have this big hole
sitting there all night?

It's not a safety hazard, Lieutenant
Don't worry about it

I see, uh-huh
[Honks]

[Carl]
Hey, it's Mr Markham

[Brakes Squeal]

The lieutenant
was looking for you, Mr Markham

I'm sure he was
I see you have our building records

Yes, sir
But he wanted to take a look
Listen, I didn't think you'd mind

No, of course not
I wouldn't wanna dampen
your new interest in architecture

All right, Carl Thanks

Lieutenant, anybody ever tell you
you're very much like an arachnid?

A what?
A tick They're quite common,
but excessively tenacious

They hang on
They let go only under
extreme prodding

Well, I never heard of it
[Laughs]

- There it is
- [Columbo] There's what?

Pile D3
What do you mean?

Why don't you dig it up?
What?

All right Come on
You know you want to

I don't know
what you're talking about

Oh, it's such a marvelous place
to-to hide a body

Crew comes in, digs a hole
Hole sits there overnight

If I were a murderer...
hypothetically speaking, of course...
it'd be made to order

just drive up, dump the body
The next morning, crew comes in,
fllls the hole with concrete

Neat, clean, foolproof

Well, now, wait a minute
If you were a murderer...

hypothetically, like you say...
you're not going to
tell this to the police

Well, why not?
You'd never be able to dig it up

Besides, how do you know
I'm not a victim of my own bravado?

How much would it cost?
I mean, to actually dig up pile D3?

just for the sake of curiosity
Well, a great deal more than
your bank account, Lieutenant

To say nothing of the permits,
assuming you got permission,
which is doubtful

Mmm Probably be a mess,
wouldn't it?

Well, it's a lot of concrete
Yeah, it sure is

You really believe that
Beau Williamson
met with foul play, don't you?

That's astonishing
There's no body, you've no proof

Aside from Goldie's
pathetic attempt at fraud, no motive

- Well, actually, there is a motive
- Oh?

Oh, yes It's in Mr Williamson's will

You see, before I dropped it off
at his wife's house, I stopped by
to see my brother-in-law

Uh, he's an attorney
Nothing big, you understand,
but, uh, he's pretty good

- You've been very busy
- Well, it's just part of the job

Anyway, he tells me that
there's a very interesting clause
in that will

And it says that
if Mr Williamson dies,

his wife, Jennifer, doesn't gain
control of the estate

- Is that so?
- Mm

Yeah, aside from Goldie's 25%o,
the entire thing goes into a trust

And the wife, all she gets
is the income from the interest

- How nice for her
- Yeah, it's a lot of money

But it's a lot less than it takes
to flnance your city

You know, you're proving my point,
Lieutenant I have no interest
in seeing Beau dead

- I want the city built
- Yeah, but if he's dead,
and it can't be proved,

then legally he's considered alive,

which means his wife
can spend the money
without restrictions

You see, she could go right ahead
and bankroll your city

- Quite a lawyer, your brother-in-law
- Yeah, I know The whole family,
we're kind of proud of'im

As long as he's giving you
so much free counsel, I hope
there's one other point that he made

- Uh, what's that?
- Well, a man can be declared
legally dead without a corpus delicti,

but if you really wanna
make a case against someone,
it might help if you found the body

Yeah, I know
See, I flgure I, uh,

I gotta come up
with something concrete

Uh...

[Phone Ringing]

[Continues Ringing]

[Keyboard Clacking]
[Phone Ringing, Faint]

Wednesday morning

Thank you

I, uh, need some information about...
j-Just a minute, please

Yes?

I want some information
How do I go about, uh,

getting permission to dig up
a pile of a building
that's already under construction?

I beg your pardon?

A pile of a building
that's under construction

I wanna dig it up

Regular-size pile?
Yeah

Ten thousand pounds?
I would think so

just a minute, please

Section 346B
"Foundations"

Do you know how much
a thing like that would cost?

No How much?

"See 581 D"

Yes, here we are

Now, what's your connection,
by the way? Contractor? Owner?

No I'm from the police
Uh, Lt Columbo

Oh, yes
Well, you'll have to have
a departmental approval

under regulation 613
of the municipal code

I see That's, uh, 613?
Six-one-three

Now, once you get that,
you flle your permits,

your requisition slips
and, uh, if the mayor's offlce
approves of that,

uh, then you're set

Been to the Structural Engineering
Department?
What for?

Uh, Lieutenant, you have to show
the exact foundation to be torn out

so we can make our estimates

Oh Where do I do that?
Room 316, down the hall

All right
I'll be right back

Got 'em
Good

- Well?
- Lunch hour Come back at 1:OO

Okay

How long have you been
digging here?
Since about 8:OO this morning

And how much
is this going to cost?
I don't know

Inspector, how much
is all this going to cost?

Morning, Inspector
Hi, Inspector

Well, he won't tell you I'll tell you
It's gonna cost considerable

Well, Lieutenant
You know, you can still stop it
before it's too late

Well, you know,
I went to so much trouble
to get the permission,

that, uh, I think
I'd better go ahead
Well, that's up to you

I hope you realize
how much work you're causing
for a great many people

Well, it's a lot more
than I expected, I'll give you that

You, uh, should've
dressed for the occasion

What?
They're taking your picture

You're gonna be a celebrity
on the 6:OO news

All right, come on, fellas
Gimme a break, huh?

Listen, I, uh...
I wanna apologize for the press

I didn't realize
they were gonna be here
I had nothing to do with it

- Must've been a leak
down in the department
- No, I invited them

Hope you don't mind
I intend to make a statement
when you're flnished

You do? Well, maybe
I'll have a statement of my own

Well, you're clutching at straws

Carl, you're keeping a record of
the delay in construction time,
aren't you?

- [Carl] Yes, sir
- All right Fine

Lieutenant, I want you
to know I admire you

- Oh, really?
- You've got the courage of
your conviction

That's an admirable trait...
misdirected as it may be

Lieutenant, there you are

You just stay right there,
because I am gonna love you to death

We could've used you
at the Alamo You've got guts

Oh, yeah
jennifer called
and told me about this

Then she pulled the covers
over her head which is her way
of dealing with problems

But I'm here
to give you support
Thanks I appreciate that

Are you getting
a little nervous, Mr Markham?
Should I be?

Well, it depends on what's down there
The usual, Goldie...
bedrock and cement

Mmm, I wonder
So does the lieutenant

But he'll have his curiosity
satisfled soon enough

Mr Markham,
can I see you a moment, please?

Don't be intimidated
I think he's scared

If this looks all right to you,
can we bring in the crane?

All right, bring her in,
take her up
What's happening?

We'll have her up
in a half hour

Another half hour

Nervous, Lieutenant?
Yeah, a little

Why not?
You're learning architecture
the hard way

Take her up

[Jackhammers Stop]

[Carl]
Okay, fellas, let's forget it, huh?

Nothing here, Mr Markham
Not even a button

[Markham]
Well, Lt Columbo?

- I guess I was wrong
- I'd consider that
an accurate statement

- You have a moment?
I'd like to talk to you
- Nothing I'd like better

Mr Markham, I think
I owe you an apology

Is that all you have to say?
Not much Night

Carl, flll up the excavation
Sink another hole

We'll pour the concrete
in the morning

Lieutenant, you say you owe me
an apology? Well, you owe me
a great deal more than that

There's not a trace of a body
Not a bit of clothing
Not a ring Nothing

Now, I'm not a police offlcer,
but the conclusion seems to be obvious

You didn't flnd Beau Williamson
because he isn't here
and he never was

- Stop gloating
- What's the matter, Goldie?
You should be delighted

It means Beau's still alive
The only one that suffered here
is the lieutenant and me

- Why you?
- Well, I've been suspected of murder,
my work has been delayed,

my relationship with Beau
and Jennifer's been jeopardized

Lieutenant, I'm sure you have
a lot of explaining to do
to your superiors

So, if you'll forgive me,
I'll be off

Here, put this on

I'm sorry, lover
That's okay, Goldie

No, it's my fault
I put the bug in your ear

They gonna suspend you
or something?

I don't know
I'll buy you a drink
I'll buy us both a drink

No, that's okay
Thank you, Goldie You go ahead

I owe you one
I'll see you later

[Engine Starts]

[Engine Off]

[Rustling]

[Classical Music On Stereo]

[Loud Bang]

[Tires Screeching]

[Stereo Off]

[Police Radio Chatter]

License and registration, please

That was real nice, sir
What?

That was a real nice
piece of driving
you did back there

The way you handled it
The way you pulled it over

Oh Th-Thank you

Left front
Could've been hairy

Yeah, that...
Oh, that could've been

Well, then, there's no real harm done
Thank you for stopping
I-I appreciate that

Open it up

- What?
- The trunk

You might as well get your keys,
and I'll help you out with the spare

Isn't that ridiculous?
What?

[Laughs]
My spare No air

It's useless I've been meaning
to get it fllled, but, well,
you know how that is

Well, why don't I call a tow truck?
They'll bring out a pump

Oh, yeah That's great
Thanks a lot
Okay Good night now

[Motorcycle Starts Up]

[Drives Away]

[Engine Off]

[Light Clicks On]

Good evening, Mr Markham

Beau Williamson?

[Sirens Approaching]

Ahead of me all the way,
weren't you?

Well, I kind of had a hunch

You see, you kept trying to
flnesse me into digging up that pile

And I had to ask myself, "Why? "

I mean, you're not
a dumb man, Mr Markham
You wouldn't lead me right to the body

- Why'd you dig it up?
- Well, I had to play along, didn't I?

You see, I flgured
you had the body somewhere

But what you really wanted
was a foolproof hiding place

Now, what's better than
a place that's already been searched?

And at considerable cost
and my embarrassment?

Offlcer?
No, no Don't bother

- You will admit, it's a clever idea
- Oh, yeah It was perfect

Who would look
in the same place twice?

I should've left it
where it was
Mr Markham,

I'm curious about that

Where was it?
It was in the equipment shed
at the stables

Well, you never can be sure
about those things

You know, bodies have
a funny way of surfacing

You know, this was brilliant
Eventually you would've had
a whole building over the grave

- Yes, brilliant
- It was just that music thing
that bothered me

Carnegie Hall and Nashville
They don't mix

[Engine Starts]
[Sighs]
No No, they don't

[Engine Starts]