All language subtitles for The.OC.S01E22.WEBRip.x265-ION265

[narrator]
Previously on "The O.C.."

[man on TV]
'Previously on "The Valley.."'

[woman on TV]
'Stay in Tarzana.'

[man on TV]
'Previously on "The Valley.."'

[man on TV]
'I just don 't feel like
I fit here in Tarzana.'

You owe it to yourself.
Get out, get free.

Why do I need to leave?

- You're here.
- Exactly.

Luke just came by
to defrag my hard drive.

You look so hot.

[Jimmy]
'Forgive me,
this can't possibly'

be happening, right?
I'm-I'm, I'm crazy.

I have this whole life
to figure out. And so does Ryan.

'Take care of him.'

'I'll see you.'

[instrumental music]

[Seth]
'So, then did you
take your watch off'

during the deed,
or what exactly?

Wanna wait in the car?
I can pick this up myself.

No, it's cool.
I've got more questions.

So then, I don't understand,
did you take it off

during foreplay
or was it before foreplay?

- That would seem presumptuous..
- No, seriously, seriously..

- You're saying that--
- I like to leave the watch on.

And I like to leave it on
to know how I'm doing.

If I'm beating my old time.

The thing is, it's sort of a sex
marathon. Not a sex sprint.

Excuse me, hi. I'm the guy
that called earlier

about the watch
that was left here.

Uh, room 204, right?

Yeah, such a nice girl
was staying in there.

Beautiful, too. Your girlfriend?

Okay, that's a little awkward.

No, no she's not,
but thank you.

A girl like that? You'd be
a lucky guy if you could--

Okay, thank you for your time.
Or his time, the timepiece.

Thanks, thanks a lot.

One day, we're gonna
look back on that

and we're just gonna laugh.
We're gonna laugh

and we're gonna laugh some more
we're gonna have a good laugh.

Bot at my timepiece joke.

But at, uh, you know,
the situation.

I'm fine, really. I mean,
Teresa's back with Eddie.

Where she should be, right?

Yes, absolutely. Listen, man.

This is a good time
for you okay, Ryan Atwood.

This is clean-slate Ryan.

Finally, you have
no women to protect

from violent goateed
factory workers

or pill popping
manic depressives.

Guess you're right, I guess
I really do have a clean slate.

You do.

Dude, since day one
of you getting here

it's been nothin',
but lady drama with you.

Marissa, Theresa,
Luke, Oliver, Eddie.

Dude, I'm gettin' exhausted
just thinking about it.

- I am kinda tired.
- Should be. But you know what?

You're gonna get a break,
'cause you deserve it.

Think I'm gonna
declare this month..

...angst-free Ryan month.

Month? Think this is gonna
last all month?

Angst-free Ryan week
with an option

for an additional week,
if you like it.

- Okay, thanks, bud.
- Right on.

Hey, what's Luke doin' here? Did
you tell him about your watch?

No, why would I?

[i9nstrumental music]

♪ Hey a-a-a-aah♪

♪ Right when they
right when they ♪

♪ Right when they ♪

♪ A a-aa-aah ♪♪

I didn't even last the night.

[theme music]

♪ California here we come ♪

♪ Right back
where we started from ♪

♪ California ♪♪ California ♪

♪ Here wecome♪

♪ California ♪

♪ California ♪

♪ Here we come ♪♪

[birds chirping]

[instrumental music]

I can't believe
they were at a motel.

It's just, it's so cheap.
It's so tawdry.

Yeah, that's the real
moral of the story here.

You know we're gonna have to see
Luke at school today, right?

How could he do it?

Well, I mean,
I get how he could do it.

- It's Mrs. Cooper, but--
- What about her?

It's her daughter's
ex-boyfriend.

- If Marissa found out--
- No, she cannot find out.

She doesn't handle
the bad news well at all.

So, it's gotta end
before she finds out.

I agree.

Maybe you should sort of take
the reins on this one.

I would, but I feel like
it's more your speed.

Uh, Sandy, Jimmy's here.

Whoa, hot, hot, hot, hey.

- How are you, Jimmy?
- We're screwed.

Oh, good. Nothing like a little
optimism in the morning.

I'm serious. Opening day
is around the corner.

We've got no contractor,
no designer.

When was the last time
you took a look at the books?

I don't. That's your job.

Well, we've basically..

...blown through
our entire budget.

Well, you're really not so good
at managing the money.

- Are you, Coop?
- No, I'm really not.

- How, how did that happen?
- Construction, labor, permits.

Oh, wow!

'A letter from Hailey.'

She's an aerobics instructor
at Club Med in Turks and Caicos.

Turks and Caicos? Wow.

- 'Unbelievable.'
- That is unbelievable.

Hailey got a job.

So um, I'm gonna spend the
weekend interviewing designers.

Not that we can afford
any of them.

Julie's gonna take Marissa,
so I can work.

Well, I better get to work,
so I can make some more money

that you and I can lose.

Uh, so you want a designer
on the cheap?

- How cheap? Like, free?
- Free is cheap.

- Julie.
- 'No.'

- No way.
- She's good.

Yeah. At-at-at manipulating
others and backstabbing

pot-stirring and
generally creating

an atmosphere
of hate and distrust.

She did a hell of a job
on the Newport Group offices.

They were elegant and tasteful.
It was shocking, really.

This restaurant is supposed
to be my oasis, my happy place.

A place to...rebuild
after Julie, not a..

She's not doing
to The Lighthouse

what she did to my marriage.

Well, free is cheap, Jimmy.
I mean, what choice do we have?

[Summer]
'You asked me, Coop,
and I think it's best.'

You need some time off.

Ever since I've known you,
you've had a boyfriend.

- You're right.
- You need to be independent.

Or how else are you gonna
find a new guy?

You can't be with someone
until you can be by yourself.

Hey, I can be by myself.

And by yourself, I mean,
still hanging out with me.

Okay, good, thank God.

What's goin' on over here?

- Thank you. Can I have a hug?
- Grady had a late night..

Uh, I don't know, I guess
they're filming something.

Oh, my God, oh, my God,
oh, my God, Coop!

- What, what?
- Grady Bridges.

- Who's Grady Bridges?
- Jake Needleman, "The Valley."

- He is so cute.
- Really, you think?

Yeah, not in your
traditional kind of way.

But he's hilarious.
He's so funny.

'I hear he, like,
improvises all of his scenes.'

Let's go say hi.
Be cool, okay?

Hey, Grady,
we're your biggest fans.

"The Valley"
is my favorite show.

Thank you, that's cool.
I'm glad you like it.

Oh, I love it, obsessed.
Addicted.

So um, what are you guys
doing here?

Well, we are on
what they call a location.

Oh, which basically means
we're shooting a scene.

My character starts dating
this girl from Newport.

- No, you'll ruin it!
- Okay, okay.

Geez, are you
as obsessed as she is?

Oh? Oh, actually,
I've never seen your shows.

- Coop.
- What?

- See, now, that's funny.
- Oh, that was funny.

That was funny. Funny girl.

Maybe they're not having sex.

Maybe they just go
to motel to spoon

and watch "Charlie Rose."

You're right.
That's probably it.

Oh, my God, you guys.
We have the craziest news ever.

I mean, nothing you could
tell us could top this.

We met Grady Bridges.

Star of "The Valley",
the best show ever.

Okay, anyway he's invited us

to his birthday party
tomorrow night.

The star of a hit TV show
invited you

to his cool
Hollywood birthday party?

- That is awesome.
- There's no need for jealousy.

- 'I could never date an actor.'
- 'Really?'

[Summer]
'Yes.'

- I got us couple of plus-ones.
- Great.

Now, I have to go show everybody
the pictures of me and Grady.

Thank God I had my camera phone.

They're the autograph
of the 21st century.

Photos, Summer?
I'd like to see these photos.

'Why don't we share?'

So how's Theresa?

Uh, she's good.
She's back with Eddie.

Have you talked to her
since she left?

Yeah, we have, but, we, uh..

We're taking some time apart.

- Best thing, I guess.
- Yeah.

[school bell rings]

- Oh, we should go.
- Yeah.

[indistinct chatter]

Good light, exposed brick,
it's a bit '80s.

But these trends are cyclical.

South-facing windows.
These floors could be sanded.

And the beams
are rather oppressive.

Some white enamel could
lighten it right up.

I'll do it.

Now, you know we can't pay you.

Well, you know, everybody
has to start somewhere.

And the value it'll add
to my portfolio

alone will be worth it.

It'll be my calling card.

And we should get started
right away.

Well, you will have
to pay for the floors

the linens, the silverware,
unless you want

your patrons eating with their
hands, like Jimmy does.

Oh, happy place. Happy place,
happy place, happy place.

How much, Julie?

What do you think, Kirsten?
Low six?

What? We don't have
that kind of money.

What are you, what are you
skimming off the top?

No, sweetie.
That was you.

Oh. My, my oasis
is-is, is being violated.

My happy place
is very unhappy right now.

Now, calm down, Jimbo.
Just breathe.

- I could pitch in.
- No, no.

Please, I appreciate it,
I do, but don't.

I mean, it's...a separation
of church and state.

- This is my thing.
- So, what are you sayin'?

That uh,
this is your happy place?

- No.
- Caleb could help.

No, this is my happy place.

It's my oasis from
the rich and insufferable.

'It would be a good
investment for him.'

And the best thing
that could happen to you two.

No. It would be the wor..
It would..

- No. Kirsten please back me up.
- He could be a silent partner.

A silent assassin.
He would ruin everything.

He'd...want goulash on the menu.

Well, I don't think
we have any choice.

We can't raise
that kind of cash in time.

Oh!

[indistinct chatter]

- Hey, man, what's up?
- Nothin'.

So did you have sex
with Julie Cooper today?

- Wha-wha-what?
- I saw you at the motel.

What are you thinking, man?
Marissa's mom?

I know, I know, I know,
what it..

...what that must
have looked like

or seemed like,
but it's not like that.

- We've got a connection.
- Yeah, not anymore, you don't.

- If Marissa finds out--
- She won't.

Just like she didn't find out
about you in Tijuana?

It's a small town. People
find out, then they talk.

It's only a matter of time.

I've never felt this way
about a girl, a woman, before.

Yeah, I don't care.

Tomorrow, Marissa's going
to LA.

You, you're going to Julie's.
It's gonna end.

Got it? It's gonna end.

[indistinct chatter]

[instrumental music]

[male on TV]
'Love the complete lack of
culture. Oh, let me guess..'

Hey, man.
What are you doing?

Watching "The Valley". I picked
up the first season on DVD.

Yeah? So I talked to Luke.

Would you just give me till like
the end of the episode please?

- Is that Grady?
- Yeah.

- He's kinda like you.
- What, handsome and charming?

Geeky and sarcastic.

Oh, God. He is like me.

He is like me,
except with his own TV show.

I was kidding.
He's just a character--

No, no, no,
he improvises all his lines.

That's totally him.
And he's totally me.

Except on a prime-time soap.

And, Ryan, dude, if you could
have the real me

or you could have the TV me,
which would you take?

You'd totally take
the TV me, dude.

We're not going to LA
'cause I'm gonna lose Summer

to the real life TV Seth Cohen.

No, no, no. We're going to LA.

We're taking the girls,
Luke's breakin' up

with Julie while we're gone.

- You took care of it?
- Yeah.

Oh, that's good,
I told you you'd be back

to angst-free Ryan in no time.

Hmm.

[doorbell dings]

I'll get it.

Hey.

Can we talk?

Sure.

- So I'm not going to LA.
- What? Why?

You know how you said sometimes
time apart is the best thing?

Well, I think time apart
might be the best thing.

- For us.
- You do?

Since you showed up, it's been..

...pretty intense.

Good and bad, but intense.

And I don't know, maybe we just
need to be away from each other.

Independent.

For a little while.

You wanna start this
independent thing today?

We both have clean slates.

This is a good time for us
to be by ourselves.

So you go to LA, and I'm gonna
spend some time with my mom.

See you.

[mellow music]

So that was it? That's your big
plan you had to sleep on?

- If I don't go, Marissa will.
- Fine, except you're going.

You don't even know if your
parents are gonna let us go.

- I'm gonna handle it.
- So you're gonna lie to 'em?

No, that was the old me.
I've evolved.

And now,
I'm a man of honor, Ryan.

So I need you to talk to them.
It's kinda more your specialty.

Seems like you make a lot
of things are my specialty.

Yeah, well, great leadership's
all about delegation.

- So now I'm your employee?
- No, we're partners.

What do you do?

I'm working on
the business plan, okay?

And that's gonna be awesome.

I just need you
to convince my parents

convince Marissa
and I'm gonna supervise.

God, it's so easy.

I should go
into business for myself.

We crane up through the bushes.
That's perfect.

I'm sorry, Ryan,
is it just me, or do my parents

get better lookin' every day?

- Uh, here we go.
- What?

Uh-huh. What do you want, Seth?

Mom, can't a child
just admire the beauty

of his parents
in the morning light?

'You don't look a day
over perfection.'

Also, there's a party
in Hollywood tonight.

- Hell, no.
- Why?

I don't have to tell you why.
I'm just telling you no.

Come on. Do you see what
you're doing here?

I come in here and I'm trying
to tell you the truth

and establish a bond of trust
here, I could have lied.

'I could've easily said
that I was going'

'to-to Comicon
or an IMAX movie.'

'All these little devices
at my fingertips.'

I knew that you never
went to the IMAX movie.

- Tag, you're tagged in.
- Yeah, okay.

Uh, it's just a birthday party.
We'll be home by midnight.

No drinking, no drugs,
no fighting.

- See?
- Alright.

Now that we've covered
the obvious, whose birthday?

Grady Bridges.

- Oh, the guy from "The Valley?"
- Yes.

- I love him, he's so cute.
- Yeah.

And you guys, he can get
any girl in the world he wants.

'And right now he wants Summer.
Okay? I have to go.'

Please. I have to go.

You call when you get there,
and you're home by 11:30.

'Don't spend
an extra minute in LA.'

'The town will steal your soul.'

Well, right now it's about to
steal my girlfriend.

I am the only thing
that stands

between Summer and a development
deal, so thank you.

Can you get me an autograph?

Oh, your cell phone
takes pictures, right?

Now, all you have to do
is convince Marissa.

Oh, you're gonna make me
do that alone, too?

Ryan, we're business
partners, okay?

We serve different functions,
I'm the brains

you're the brawn.
I'm in the ivory tower.

'You're down there on the
streets, making it happen.'

[instrumental music]

- Hey.
- Uh, call you back.

So when I said we needed
to spend some time apart

I meant more
than a couple hours.

I know.
What, what's that?

Oh, Luke's puka shells.
I just found them.

Blast from the past, huh?

Okay, here's the thing. Uh..

I'm not going to LA
'cause I'm not going..

That's not independent.

To be really independent,
we both need to go

to LA independently, but
together at the same time.

Okay, you're starting
to sound like Seth.

I know, it rubs off.
Look, I gotta go.

Seth, unsupervised
in a big city..

- Okay, no, I get that.
- Okay.

And I don't want you
to miss out because of me.

And you know, we, we haven't
had fun in a long time.

This is gonna be fun.

Usually, you don't think
anything's fun.

It's always me
talking you into going.

People change.

And we're gonna be
living in the same town

for a while, right?

You know,
going to the same school.

And we're friends. Yes? So..

You know, we're gonna have
to do things independently.

- B-b-but together.
- You're right.

So you really want me to go?

It's not about what I want.
It's about what you need.

Okay.

Maybe, a little.

Alright, let me just
go get ready.

Alright, cool.

[instrumental music]

- So you need me, eh, Sanford?
- Oh, here we go.

- Dad.
- Look, you did me a favor.

'Now it's my turn
to do one for you.'

- Don't do me any favors.
- L-let's hear him out. Okay?

Your chef, what's he done?

Nothing, really.
TV dinners mostly.

'He's terrible.'

Look, I know
when I'm not wanted.

And yet you're always
at our house.

Marco was a sous chef
at Aubergine. He's fantastic.

Aubergine, that's a good spot.

Yeah, you know what
he could prepare some meals

for you right away,
like, uh, tonight.

- Good thinking.
- Uh, no, I can't, I'm busy.

I'm-I'm having
a business dinner

with the board
of the Philharmonic.

Doesn't that include
the editor-in-chief

of "Riviera Magazine,"
the owner of the "Daily Pilot"

owner of the "Mighty Ducks"?

Yeah, well, some of them used
to be Jimmy's clients before..

- Well, you know..
- Point being there, Julie?

They're the tastemakers
of Newport Beach, James.

'Why don't you have Marco
cook for all of them?'

'You can't buy
free publicity like that.'

If you're gonna have
a restaurant, you gotta be

able to cook
for a lot of people.

"If you're gonna have
a restaurant, you gotta cook

for a lot of people."
That's our mission statement.

Sandy, we need the money,
we need the press.

- I know.
- Good idea, Jules.

Except for the fact
that we just gutted the place.

There's dust all over.
There's no furniture.

We can do it at our house.
We have the place to ourselves.

The kids are on
their way to LA.

It's perfect.

[instrumental music]

Oh, my God. We haven't
moved in..

It's been forever now.

How do people live like this?
How do you do it?

You know, it's times
like these I wish

we had
a Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

I always wish we had
a Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

- It's a fine car.
- My mom's never home anymore.

She's always sending
Kaitlin to my grandma's.

Know what it sounds like to me,
speaking as a child of divorce?

You think
she's having an affair?

[Summer]
'When my mom started
blowing me off, it was 'cause..'

Oh, it's a flying car.

No, that's my bad.
Actually, that's a plane.

She's probably
just working a lot, you know.

She's a professional woman.

- Yeah, busy.
- Gettin' busy.

So, who do you guys, uh,
think's gonna be there tonight?

I hope Orlando Bloom.
Legolas is so hot.

Right on, I'm hoping
for a little Natalie Portman

Keira Knightley.
Maybe Kate Bosworth myself. Ow!

What? It's okay for you
to pine over Legolas?

Yeah, he's an elf, okay.
He saved Middle-Earth.

That is a huge part
of European history.

Don't worry about it.
Tonight's gonna be fun.

Luke better get it done.

Well, see you soonishly.

What about that date, Juju?

Let's just see
how tonight goes, Caleb.

I want you focused.

Bye.

- Hey, we need to talk.
- Luke.

What if Caleb saw you?

Yeah, what are you
doing with him?

Shouldn't he be washing
his dentures or something?

- Are you guys back together?
- Don't start.

Wha-what? You were just using me
until grandpa came back?

Okay, but I don't
have a lot of time.

- Okay, but we'll talk after.
- Yeah, yeah, come on.

[upbeat music]

[indistinct chattering]

Why didn't they let
that heavy-set girl in?

That was a guy.

- Hey, girls. Hey, what's up?
- Hey.

- I'm glad you made it.
- Hi.

Come on, I wanna
introduce you to some people.

How does that guy
play high school?

Hollywood, man.

[music continues]

I thought it was a cliche.

'Young Hollywood
doing coke with strippers.'

You know, I didn't even think
they had bread anymore.

Can I borrow your phone?

Boys, I want you
to meet some people.

'This is Summer,
Marissa and some guy.'

- Are they on the show?
- No, this is team Grady, right?

This is my agent,
this is my manager.

'This is my lawyer,
this is my publicist.'

'And then,
this is my producing partner.'

- You have a producing partner?
- Yeah.

Well, we actually, we control
several properties, man.

'You know we just got
the rights to The Golden Girls.'

- Oh, my God, no way.
- Yeah.

Yeah, we're gonna make it
into a movie, you know.

But we're gonna make
the Golden Girls

you know, young and hot.

Luke, it's me. I wanted to
make sure you took care of it.

Take care of it.

- Hey.
- Hey.

So do you wanna meet the cast?

- Not really, you?
- Yeah, not really.

- Excuse me.
- Well..

- Oh, my God, what is with you?
- What?

Relax, all you LA chicks
are so lame.

We're not from LA
We're from Orange County.

- Orange County? Ew.
- She said, "Ew."

Glad to see we're not the ones
fighting for a change.

Yeah, I'm glad to see we're not
one of those couples.

Or any kind of couple.

- Right, it's definitely better.
- Yep.

Hey there, having fun yet?

- Hailey?
- Ryan?

- What are you, uh..
- What are you..

Hailey, keep it moving.

- Couples pay extra.
- Uh, I gotta go.

- Is that..
- Kirsten's sister, Hailey.

- Does Kirsten know she's here?
- I doubt it.

[Ryan]
'This is Kirsten's worst
nightmare, all she does'

'is worry about Hailey,
come on.'

[instrumental music]

I'm late, I thought
we were only gonna do it once.

Can we talk now?
Because I really--

Can't now, hon,
gotta go be with the adults.

I'll talk to you later.

Newport used to be
a glamorous town.

An escape for Hollywood stars
like John Wayne, Robert Mitchum.

The Lighthouse
could be our chance

to bring those people back.

Now, wait a minute, Cal,
I don't think even

The Lighthouse
can bring back the Duke.

What I mean is, we think
The Lighthouse is step one

in the renaissance of Newport
for destination dining.

A magnet for glitz and glamour

and...well, cash.

Look, Jimmy and I view
The Lighthouse as a chance

to restore the restaurant
to its former glory.

It's, it's just something
from Newport, for Newport.

We think
it can be a bit of both.

An icon of the past,
a beacon for the future.

A bridge from the past
to the present.

From Newport
to...the rest of the world.

[audience clapping]

- Hello, everybody.
- 'Hey, Julie.'

So sorry I'm late. I hope
I didn't miss anything.

- Hey.
- You are glowing.

Well, I'm just so excited.

[car beeping]

[engine rumbles]

[automated message]
'You have one new message.'

[Ryan on voice mail]
'Luke, it's me,
I'm just calling'

'to make sure you took care
of it. Take care of it.'

[instrumental music]

Hey.

Are you happy, Coop?

Are these the kind of people we
want? Because these are

the people we are
gonna be stuck with.

I know, Sandy.
It's not what we wanted exactly.

No, it's exactly not
what we wanted at all.

Look, we need the money. Without
Caleb, we've got nothing.

Well, maybe
nothing is better than this.

That's an easier position to
take if you have another job.

This is all I have.

- Hello?
- Sandy, hey, it's me.

- Ryan, is everything okay?
- Uh, not really.

We found Hailey.

What do you mean,
you found Hailey?

- Hailey?
- Well, she got a job.

As a stripper.

There are strippers
at this party?

- Strippers?
- Oh, God.

I never should've
agreed to this.

- Uh, what do you want us to do?
- 'There's nothing you can do.'

Hailey is not
your responsibility.

Whe-where are they?
Is she okay?

- Wh-what club are you at?
- It's uh, Luna Chicks.

Luna Chicks?
Well, that's just great.

What are you gonna do?

I will deal
with Hailey tomorrow.

'Meanwhile, I want
you guys home, pronto.'

Alright.

- What's goin' on?
- They found Hailey.

Working as a stripper
at this party.

- Is, uh, is she okay?
- No, of course not, no.

- She's Hailey.
- Should we do something?

Yeah, you know what we should do
we should not let Hailey

ruin another evening.

We've got enough to contend with

and if Kirsten
finds out about this..

- I don't know..
- We'll deal with it tomorrow.

- Everything is going so well.
- Everyone seems really excited.

What the hell is that smell?

'What are we even cooking here?'

Meat loaf.
It's my mother's specialty.

I got the most important
people in the county in there.

The most sophisticated
palates in Newport

and you gonna offer them
Nana Cohen's meat loaf?

- Dad, it's their menu.
- The menu of lunatics.

Well, this is a disaster,
I'm gonna have to call

Catherine Zeta-Jones' people.

I was trying to get her
for the opening.

'How quickly can you
get down to the Crab Shack'

'and pick us up
some fresh tuna?'

No, no, no, no, Marco.
No. No. This is our restaurant.

[Caleb]
'You don't have
a restaurant without me.'

And you don't have me
with meat loaf.

Well, then,
maybe we're better off.

A man's life comes down
to a few decisive moments.

And maybe this,
this meat loaf is one of them.

This restaurant
was, was supposed to be fun.

If you wanna go ahead
and ruin everything

that this restaurant is about,
then go ahead, fine.

I don't want any part of it.

Goodnight. Good luck.

That's why the man is bankrupt.

Do what you like.
Sink the ship.

But make it quick.
I'm starving.

Hey, Marco.

'There's a lot
riding on this meat loaf.'

- Julie, is that a--
- Curling-iron burn.

Yeah. Um, I'm gonna go
check on Cal.

[Ryan]
'Alright as soon as we find Seth
and Summer, we're out of here.'

- And Hailey.
- I don't know.

It's none of my business.

Yeah, it is.
It's your family.

Well, we need to find her
and get out of here.

Alright, you wait here.
If you see Seth

don't let him move, and I'll
just go try to find her.

Not without me.

Come on.

Cheers, cheers.

To me, in all my glory.

And a second season.

Hey.

Hi, hi, how's it, uh,
how's it going?

- I'm so exhausted.
- Yeah?

Yeah. I've been up all night
working on my thesis.

"Magical Realism
in American Literature."

You familiar with the works
of Thomas Pynchon?

I've only read
"The Crying of Lot 49."

"Gravity's Rainbow"
is his masterpiece.

Don't tell anyone
I'm in grad school.

So I have got a new episode

that hasn't aired yet.
Do you wanna see it?

No way.
You have a new episode?

Yeah, on tape. Huh?

Yeah. Hold on, I just have to..

Oh, yeah, no.
I'm not armed or anything.

- Yeah, that's a..
- Camera phone.

It's the autograph
of the 21st century.

Yeah, that's what they say.
That's what they say.

Let's go.

Call me sometime.

I will.

[music continues]

There you are. I thought
you'd flown the coop as well.

No, just trying to get
a little peace and quiet.

Wax philosophical about
why your partner up and quit.

He hasn't quit.
He went after Hailey.

What are you talking about?
Hailey's in Club Med.

Oh, she's in a club,
but in Hollywood.

Working as a stripper.

'Ryan just called.
They found her.'

Anyway, that's where
my partner went.

And that's why
he's my partner.

This is so cool. You're here,
and here. It's awesome.

[Grady on TV]
'I'm out of here, lat-ro.'

Oh, my God.
I bet that was improvised.

So, listen, I'm really glad
that you came--

No, wait. I wanna watch.

Why? I'm, I'm not
in this scene.

It's just so good.

I wish I was from "The Valley."

[upbeat music]

Hey, where's Summer?

I don't know,
off with Grady somewhere.

I talk about Pynchon for two
seconds, suddenly she's gone.

Yeah, well,
I got somethin' else for you.

You have a clean
slate now, okay?

So if I was you, I'd procure

a little private
dance time with, uh..

- Oh, my God, that's Hailey.
- Yeah, that's-that's what I..

Hey, hey, what the hell
are you doing?

I thought you were
an aerobics instructor

in the Caribbean or something.

Yeah, well, I figured
if I told the truth

it wouldn't go over so well.

My mom's gonna freak
when she finds out.

So, don't tell her.
Not that she'd care.

I'm sure she would if she knew
what you're doing.

What's wrong with what I am
doing? I make good money.

- I'm on my own.
- What are you talking about?

You look terrible.
You work here? Come on.

Let me just grab
my girlfriend, and we'll go

and figure it out, okay.

What are you, tired today,
you didn't do enough coke?

Hey, take it easy, man.

- Get back to work.
- Don't tell her what to do.

- Excuse me, you got a problem?
- Yeah, yeah. I do.

No, he doesn't have
a problem. I'm sorry.

We're gonna grab my girlfriend
and we're gonna grab my aunt

uh, more gently than say you,
and we'll leave.

You're leaving right now.
Get out of my club.

Get them out of my club.
Out, out, out.

Bye, nice meeting you. Bye.

I don't wanna see these guys
in my club again.

Are we gonna just
leave Hailey here?

I don't think we have
much of a choice.

We can't leave without her.

I can't get a hold of Summer.

I think we should split up.
Let's scale a wall.

Find a fire escape, climb
through a window, the us..

I was all-camp, uh, capture
the flag, Camp Takajo.

Very stealth.

That's kind of dewy.
I'm gonna go around.

[instrumental music]

We're going to the VIP entrance.

We're not VIP.

This is Hollywood.

Meet me in a minute.
I have an idea.

This meat loaf is fantastic.

This is what we had planned.

Back to basics.
Comfort food.

'What's old is new again.'

Well, I couldn't have said
that better myself.

- Even though I already did.
- So glad that you like it.

I'm going to get
more wine. Anyone?

Oh, terrific.

Juju.

Bring the wine, dear.

Th-this one's empty.
I'm gonna get another.

What the hell
are you doing here?

- We need to talk.
- Wait outside my house.

Go hide in the bushes
or something, go. Go.

Back to work.

I told you, VIPs only.

Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.

I love you so much.
You are my favorite character.

Okay, do you watch "The Valley?"

No, I have a job.

It's only,
like the best show ever.

You are actually a little
shorter than I imagined.

But still, so hot.

- Thanks.
- You here for the party?

- Yeah.
- Oh, my God, wait.

Can I come with you?

Seriously, it would mean
so much to me.

It really is my favorite show.

Take advantage, kid.
You're only a teen idol once.

- Thanks, buddy.
- Thanks..

I can't believe
we're watching dailies.

But, seriously,
which take did you like better?

Because I kind of like the
acting in that one, you know.

But the lighting wasn't
as good as the one before.

Okay, I don't know.
Could we go back to the party?

This is boring.

Well, how about, uh,
how about uh

some, uh, some music?

That'll liven it up.
Little party in here..

♪ You say
it's your first time.. ♪♪

- What's this?
- This is my band.

- It's our, it's first CD.
- No kidding.

I like you,
I don't know why.

But you just, you've got..

...you just got something,
you know?

I'm a big fan of yours.

- Oh, my God, what're you doing?
- What..?

- Cohen.
- Summer.

- Hi.
- Hi.

I heard some
really, really awful music.

And I knew it could only be

self-indulgent actors
with instruments.

- What are you doing?
- Leaving.

- Grady, there you are.
- April, hi.

Oh, my God.
You're on the show.

You're like the best thing
on the show.

- What are you doing with her?
- Uh, I..

Wait. You two are dating?

Oh, God, don't you think
that's a bad idea?

What if things don't work out
and you guys break up?

- Isn't that bad for the show?
- Guess we're about to find out.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, April!

Hey, lock up
the car for me, please.

'April, wait.'

Hey.

I'm sorry.
Let's go home.

Someplace with real people.

Think we'll find that at home?
We live in Newport Beach.

Let's just get out of LA.

[Grady on TV]
'I love her, and she loves me.'

Is that a new episode?

- Oh, Grady's ad-libbing.
- I already saw it.

- What are you guys doing?
- Hailey, come with us.

You know, you're really
sweet with this whole

save-the-stripper campaign,
but I'm fine.

- Oh, you're fine?
- Yeah.

Get out of here quick,
before he sees you.

No, not without you.
Look, we came..

What are you doing back
in my club?

Get your hand off me.

Gonna have a problem now. Out.
You too, Hailey.

Goodbye.
Goodbye, Hailey.

Oh, oh, oh!
What are you gonna do?

'What are you gonna
do now, big shot?'

What are you gonna do now, huh?

What are you gonna do,
hit a kid?

Dad?

- What are you, the dad?
- What are you?

The guy who's my age and still
thinks he's twenty-five?

You keep your kids
out of my club.

- Are you alright?
- Yeah.

- Look, Sandy got held up, so..
- That's okay, thank you.

Why don't you guys head back?
I'm gonna give Hailey a lift.

Okay, yeah, we'll just go
find Seth and Summer.

Alright.

[Jimmy]
'Drive safe.'

I wish you
would've called first.

I would have washed my hair.

Are you okay?

I'm fine. I just..

I was supposed to get a job
managing this other bar

and it fell through
and I needed some money--

It's okay, it's okay.

It's alright.
It doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter.

So you wanna come home?

Yeah.

And could we have parked
any further away?

Hey, we get to look forward

to a little
Saturday night rush hour.

You know, I think we did
pretty good in there, man.

And I told you
we make a good team.

I'm the brains,
you're the brawn.

Hey, how come you're the brains?

I the one that talked us back
into the club.

I'm sorry.
I'm the brains.

- 'You can be the beauty.'
- Okay, thanks..

You're the beauty,
he's the brawn, I'm the brains.

Great. And what am I, Cohen?

The boobs?
Aah.

- The bitch?
- Okay.

- I'll take the boobs.
- Hey, so will I.

Oh-ho!

[Caleb]
'I've never seen so much
meat loaf in my life.'

Yeah, it was a beautiful sight.

Hey, where were you?
It went great.

I uh, have a surprise.

- Oh, my God.
- 'Yeah.'

[Jimmy]
'I just, uh, picked her up
from the airport.'

'Fresh from Turks and Caicos.'

I hear that's the best
Club Med there is.

I can't wait to hear
the details.

Thanks, Jimmy,
for bringing her back.

Why don't I draw
you a bath, Haile?

Well, we should wrap this up.

- Do some business.
- And there is my cue.

You boys discuss the money.

Call me when you
wanna discuss linens.

Okay, fellas, I'm in.

And we'll do it your way.

It's the only way
we could do it.

You guys were right,
at the end of the day

it's good food,
good people coming together.

- Tonight was a good start.
- Apparently.

Thanks.

'Luke, what is
so important that--?'

We can't do this anymore.

Excuse me?

You're breaking up with me?

It's just um,
it's not a good idea.

And, uh,
it never could've worked.

You're right.

Well, okay..

Right.

Okay.

Hi, Cal. It's me.

When you're ready for
that date, let me know.

I can't believe they're watching
"The Valley" after all that.

Hey, Summer says it's addictive.

So is it okay
if I hang out in here?

- 'Not watching TV?'
- Yeah, sure.

So did you have fun tonight?

Watching you get kicked
out of a club, twice?

Yeah, actually,
I kind of did.

You were pretty good
with the bouncer.

- Impressed?
- I kind of was.

See, I think
I should be the brains.

No, Seth's the brains.

Well, you're clearly
not the beauty.

Oh, and now someone's the bitch.

- Oh, really?
- Yeah.

Hey, hey, hey.

- Come on, fight back.
- Alright.

- I win.
- Yeah, yeah, you win.

[Marissa]
'I'll be right back.'

Hey, Mrs. Cohen, uh,
is-is Ryan around?

Yeah. He's in the pool house.

- Luke.
- It's over.

I'm done having
sex with Julie Cooper.

Marissa.

- You..
- Okay, wait, wait, just stop.

Marissa.

So that's why
you took me to LA?

I didn't want you to find out.
No, not like this.

I-I have gotta go.

[theme music]