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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,471 --> 00:00:03,377 Previously on Young Sheldon... 2 00:00:03,479 --> 00:00:05,304 Mary Cooper... 3 00:00:05,406 --> 00:00:07,444 I want to sex you up. 4 00:00:08,483 --> 00:00:09,373 (gasps) 5 00:00:09,475 --> 00:00:11,013 I have good news. 6 00:00:11,115 --> 00:00:12,281 Good. I could use it. 7 00:00:12,383 --> 00:00:14,880 I got a job at the bowling alley. 8 00:00:17,087 --> 00:00:18,116 Working with Brenda? 9 00:00:18,219 --> 00:00:19,319 Every day. 10 00:00:19,421 --> 00:00:21,795 I am so sorry about today. 11 00:00:21,897 --> 00:00:23,553 I just hate to see you walk away 12 00:00:23,655 --> 00:00:24,994 from the Lord. Feels like 13 00:00:25,096 --> 00:00:26,991 He's walking away from me. 14 00:00:34,642 --> 00:00:35,542 What is that? 15 00:00:35,644 --> 00:00:36,809 Hamburger Helper. 16 00:00:36,911 --> 00:00:38,742 It's official. We're poor. 17 00:00:38,844 --> 00:00:40,438 We're not poor. 18 00:00:40,540 --> 00:00:41,815 There's hamburger in there. 19 00:00:41,917 --> 00:00:43,543 There's hamburger in there, right? 20 00:00:43,645 --> 00:00:45,547 (grunts softly) I like Hamburger Helper. 21 00:00:45,649 --> 00:00:47,547 It really does help your hamburger make a great meal. 22 00:00:47,649 --> 00:00:48,755 Well, it's a good thing you like it, 23 00:00:48,857 --> 00:00:50,283 'cause you're definitely poor. 24 00:00:50,385 --> 00:00:52,153 Like us. We're fine. 25 00:00:52,255 --> 00:00:54,156 Actually... Just eat. 26 00:00:54,258 --> 00:00:56,261 Do we still say grace? Why not? 27 00:00:56,363 --> 00:00:58,966 Mom's been taking a break from the church. Mom? 28 00:00:59,068 --> 00:01:01,634 Well, I hadn't really thought about it. 29 00:01:01,736 --> 00:01:03,062 We can if you want to. 30 00:01:03,165 --> 00:01:04,099 Let's not. 31 00:01:04,201 --> 00:01:05,332 As meaningless as it is, 32 00:01:05,434 --> 00:01:06,999 I do find the ritual comforting. 33 00:01:07,101 --> 00:01:09,570 Well, somebody make a decision. That slop's getting cold. 34 00:01:09,672 --> 00:01:12,040 No, it's good cold or hot, like Grape-Nuts. 35 00:01:12,142 --> 00:01:13,170 Ooh, can I say it? 36 00:01:13,272 --> 00:01:14,775 Sure. 37 00:01:16,278 --> 00:01:17,712 (Missy clears throat) 38 00:01:17,814 --> 00:01:19,645 Bless us Lord for the food we are about to receive 39 00:01:19,747 --> 00:01:21,344 and bless the hands that prepared it. 40 00:01:22,214 --> 00:01:24,084 And let me have a good hair day for school pictures 41 00:01:24,186 --> 00:01:25,654 later this week. 42 00:01:25,756 --> 00:01:27,852 (sighs) Let's see, what else do I want... Wrap it up. 43 00:01:27,954 --> 00:01:29,796 And please let my dad find a full-time job 44 00:01:29,898 --> 00:01:31,256 before we lose cable. Amen. 45 00:01:31,358 --> 00:01:32,658 OTHERS: Amen. 46 00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:35,692 ♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪ 47 00:01:35,795 --> 00:01:38,332 ♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪ 48 00:01:38,435 --> 00:01:40,631 ♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪ 49 00:01:40,733 --> 00:01:43,734 ♪ I am a mighty little man ♪ 50 00:01:43,836 --> 00:01:47,544 ♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪ 51 00:01:57,383 --> 00:01:58,749 So... 52 00:01:58,851 --> 00:02:00,494 how's it going with this whole 53 00:02:00,596 --> 00:02:02,427 no church thing? 54 00:02:03,193 --> 00:02:04,522 It's a little weird, 55 00:02:04,624 --> 00:02:06,095 but I'm figuring it out. 56 00:02:06,197 --> 00:02:07,927 Think you might go back? 57 00:02:09,067 --> 00:02:10,364 I don't know yet. 58 00:02:10,466 --> 00:02:11,968 Maybe find a different church? 59 00:02:12,070 --> 00:02:14,637 I don't know, George. 60 00:02:16,405 --> 00:02:18,269 I'm gonna get a beer. 61 00:02:18,371 --> 00:02:19,371 You, uh, 62 00:02:19,473 --> 00:02:20,780 care to join me 63 00:02:20,882 --> 00:02:22,081 like the good ol' days? 64 00:02:22,183 --> 00:02:23,841 Just 'cause I'm not going to church 65 00:02:23,943 --> 00:02:25,983 doesn't mean I'm suddenly a drinker. 66 00:02:26,085 --> 00:02:27,449 Okay. Well, then I guess 67 00:02:27,551 --> 00:02:29,454 me and my friends will say goodnight. 68 00:02:32,287 --> 00:02:33,252 We need to talk. 69 00:02:33,354 --> 00:02:34,622 About what? 70 00:02:34,724 --> 00:02:37,391 You do their taxes. How bad off are we? 71 00:02:37,493 --> 00:02:39,025 Based on their part-time income, 72 00:02:39,127 --> 00:02:40,791 we're going to run out of money by the end of the year. 73 00:02:40,893 --> 00:02:43,033 Before or after Christmas? Before. 74 00:02:43,135 --> 00:02:45,096 Not what I wanted to hear. 75 00:02:46,141 --> 00:02:48,666 (sighs) Anything we can do to help? 76 00:02:48,768 --> 00:02:50,677 Perhaps we could sell our stuff. 77 00:02:50,779 --> 00:02:52,042 But I like my stuff. 78 00:02:52,144 --> 00:02:53,537 I like my stuff, too. 79 00:02:53,639 --> 00:02:55,477 Let's keep thinking. 80 00:02:55,579 --> 00:02:57,042 (phone rings) (laughter over TV) 81 00:02:59,248 --> 00:03:01,279 (TV mutes) 82 00:03:01,381 --> 00:03:02,415 Hello? 83 00:03:02,517 --> 00:03:04,415 Connie. Grant Linkletter. 84 00:03:04,517 --> 00:03:06,287 Hello, Grant. 85 00:03:06,389 --> 00:03:08,120 What can I do for you? 86 00:03:08,222 --> 00:03:10,490 Well, I looked at my calendar and realized it's been six weeks 87 00:03:10,592 --> 00:03:12,098 since I last asked you out, so 88 00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:13,493 I thought I'd give it another shot. 89 00:03:13,596 --> 00:03:15,764 You ask me out every six weeks? 90 00:03:15,866 --> 00:03:19,031 Used to be nine, but we're not getting any younger. 91 00:03:20,238 --> 00:03:22,300 I'll tell you what... 92 00:03:22,402 --> 00:03:23,303 fine. 93 00:03:23,405 --> 00:03:25,206 Really? Why not? 94 00:03:25,308 --> 00:03:26,604 (laughs) Excellent. 95 00:03:26,706 --> 00:03:28,005 But I want to be clear, 96 00:03:28,108 --> 00:03:30,211 this is just one of those-- whatcha call it-- 97 00:03:30,313 --> 00:03:32,148 uh, platonic things. 98 00:03:32,250 --> 00:03:33,587 We're just having dinner. 99 00:03:33,689 --> 00:03:34,846 I'll take it. 100 00:03:34,948 --> 00:03:36,449 Now, would you prefer a restaurant 101 00:03:36,551 --> 00:03:38,188 or some good home cooking? 102 00:03:38,290 --> 00:03:39,786 I make seven kinds of soup. 103 00:03:39,888 --> 00:03:41,386 I think I'll just stick with a restaurant. 104 00:03:41,488 --> 00:03:42,387 Fair enough, 105 00:03:42,489 --> 00:03:43,457 but one day, 106 00:03:43,559 --> 00:03:44,557 you'll try my mushroom barley, 107 00:03:44,660 --> 00:03:46,458 and your taste buds will swoon. 108 00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:47,592 Good night, Grant. 109 00:03:47,694 --> 00:03:48,592 The secret is how long 110 00:03:48,694 --> 00:03:49,963 I cook the onions. 111 00:03:58,275 --> 00:04:00,075 Chicken coop, now. 112 00:04:00,177 --> 00:04:01,777 (door closes) 113 00:04:04,443 --> 00:04:05,378 Hi. 114 00:04:05,480 --> 00:04:06,819 What are we doing? 115 00:04:06,921 --> 00:04:08,414 What are you doing? 116 00:04:08,516 --> 00:04:09,813 What, you hired Mary 117 00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:11,549 to work at the bowling alley. 118 00:04:11,651 --> 00:04:13,760 She needed a job. 119 00:04:13,862 --> 00:04:15,085 I was being nice. 120 00:04:15,187 --> 00:04:16,621 Well, you don't think it's a little weird? 121 00:04:16,723 --> 00:04:19,128 (scoffs) This right here-- 122 00:04:19,230 --> 00:04:20,626 it's all weird. 123 00:04:20,729 --> 00:04:22,769 (scoffs) (sighs) Are you drunk? 124 00:04:22,871 --> 00:04:24,966 Not nearly enough. 125 00:04:25,068 --> 00:04:28,039 You and Mary working together is a bad idea considering... 126 00:04:28,141 --> 00:04:30,406 you know, you and me. 127 00:04:30,508 --> 00:04:32,103 We haven't done anything, George. 128 00:04:32,205 --> 00:04:34,113 But there was considering. You know there was. 129 00:04:34,215 --> 00:04:36,476 (scoffs) What do you want me to do? 130 00:04:36,578 --> 00:04:37,642 You want me to fire her? 131 00:04:37,744 --> 00:04:40,110 No, no. That'd be weird. 132 00:04:40,213 --> 00:04:43,984 Which is exactly where we started. Good night. 133 00:04:46,555 --> 00:04:48,362 (sighs) (door closes) 134 00:04:49,659 --> 00:04:51,827 You understand what I'm saying. 135 00:04:54,168 --> 00:04:56,131 Okay, so what are you good at? 136 00:04:56,233 --> 00:04:57,529 I'm popular. 137 00:04:57,631 --> 00:04:58,938 That is not a skill. 138 00:04:59,040 --> 00:05:00,831 You can't do it. Fine. 139 00:05:00,934 --> 00:05:02,838 Oh, you could go on Jeopardy! 140 00:05:02,940 --> 00:05:05,336 Never. I don't like answers in the form of questions. 141 00:05:05,438 --> 00:05:07,807 I like my answers in the form of answers, and my questions 142 00:05:07,909 --> 00:05:09,215 in the form of questions, thank you. 143 00:05:09,317 --> 00:05:11,611 Ooh, perhaps I could sell story ideas 144 00:05:11,713 --> 00:05:13,044 to TV shows like Star Trek. 145 00:05:13,147 --> 00:05:14,955 Do you really think they'd listen to a kid? 146 00:05:15,057 --> 00:05:16,288 My voice has gotten deeper. 147 00:05:16,390 --> 00:05:17,784 The other day, I answered the phone, 148 00:05:17,886 --> 00:05:19,359 and they didn't mistake me for Mom. 149 00:05:19,461 --> 00:05:21,554 Star Trek's not gonna buy your stupid ideas. 150 00:05:21,656 --> 00:05:22,688 We'll see about that. 151 00:05:22,791 --> 00:05:23,721 I have one where the Enterprise 152 00:05:23,823 --> 00:05:24,865 falls into a time tunnel, 153 00:05:24,967 --> 00:05:25,922 and Worf becomes a Worf 154 00:05:26,024 --> 00:05:27,432 from 12 minutes in the future. 155 00:05:27,534 --> 00:05:30,030 We could let people punch you for a buck. 156 00:05:30,132 --> 00:05:33,297 No, all our profit would just go to medical expenses. 157 00:05:39,147 --> 00:05:41,710 Hey, Brenda, I was trying to 158 00:05:41,813 --> 00:05:43,612 do the books for the quarter, and I was having 159 00:05:43,714 --> 00:05:45,346 a little trouble making sense of it. 160 00:05:45,448 --> 00:05:46,646 You know, Mary, if... 161 00:05:46,748 --> 00:05:48,718 if it's too big of a mess, and 162 00:05:48,820 --> 00:05:51,584 you'd rather work somewhere else, I'd understand. 163 00:05:51,686 --> 00:05:53,626 No, I'll figure it out. 164 00:05:53,728 --> 00:05:55,862 Great. 165 00:05:55,964 --> 00:05:57,356 So happy you're here. 166 00:05:57,459 --> 00:05:59,356 (chuckles) 167 00:06:03,168 --> 00:06:04,298 Hey, there. 168 00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:06,332 Oh. (chuckles) 169 00:06:06,434 --> 00:06:07,333 Hi, Mary. 170 00:06:07,435 --> 00:06:08,803 (laughs) 171 00:06:08,906 --> 00:06:11,038 Finally found an eight-pounder that's not pink. 172 00:06:12,014 --> 00:06:13,046 I didn't know you bowled. 173 00:06:13,148 --> 00:06:15,408 I didn't know you did either. 174 00:06:15,510 --> 00:06:17,608 Actually, I, um, 175 00:06:17,710 --> 00:06:19,247 I work here now. 176 00:06:19,349 --> 00:06:21,555 Oh, sure, okay. 177 00:06:21,657 --> 00:06:22,646 I... 178 00:06:22,748 --> 00:06:25,286 I'm so sorry 179 00:06:25,388 --> 00:06:27,256 about how things 180 00:06:27,358 --> 00:06:29,024 went down at church. 181 00:06:29,126 --> 00:06:31,557 If it helps at all, the place has gone to heck since you left. 182 00:06:31,659 --> 00:06:33,766 Good. (chuckles) 183 00:06:33,869 --> 00:06:35,359 (chuckles) 184 00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:38,764 I sure do miss working with you. 185 00:06:38,866 --> 00:06:41,503 Well, we can still be friends, 186 00:06:41,606 --> 00:06:43,477 even if we don't work together. 187 00:06:44,671 --> 00:06:45,744 I'd like that. 188 00:06:46,280 --> 00:06:47,774 You find a kiddie ball yet? 189 00:06:47,876 --> 00:06:49,949 It's not about the weight, just... 190 00:06:50,051 --> 00:06:51,909 I have small fingers. 191 00:06:52,011 --> 00:06:54,711 Oh, uh, Mary, this is Shannon. 192 00:06:54,813 --> 00:06:55,779 Shannon, this is 193 00:06:55,881 --> 00:06:57,915 Mary Cooper. Hi. 194 00:06:58,017 --> 00:06:59,720 You used to be Mary Tucker. 195 00:06:59,822 --> 00:07:02,389 Oh, not in a long time. (laughs) 196 00:07:02,491 --> 00:07:03,554 You remember me? 197 00:07:03,657 --> 00:07:05,397 Sorry, no. 198 00:07:05,499 --> 00:07:08,964 Shannon Dixon. You used to babysit me. 199 00:07:10,004 --> 00:07:11,300 Is that so? 200 00:07:11,402 --> 00:07:12,438 She was so great. 201 00:07:12,540 --> 00:07:14,198 She would let me stay up late and watch TV 202 00:07:14,300 --> 00:07:16,172 while she would make out with her boyfriend. 203 00:07:16,274 --> 00:07:17,210 (Mary laughs) 204 00:07:17,312 --> 00:07:19,878 I don't... remember any of that. 205 00:07:19,980 --> 00:07:22,071 Oh, I'm not surprised. You used to hit my dad's liquor cabinet 206 00:07:22,174 --> 00:07:24,747 pretty hard. Well, Mary Cooper. 207 00:07:24,849 --> 00:07:27,680 I was... young and hadn't found the Lord. 208 00:07:27,782 --> 00:07:31,151 You two have a great time. 209 00:07:40,233 --> 00:07:41,460 Here's that invoice. 210 00:07:41,562 --> 00:07:42,597 Oh. Great. 211 00:07:42,699 --> 00:07:44,597 I see Pastor Rob's here again. 212 00:07:44,699 --> 00:07:46,864 Oh, does, uh... 213 00:07:46,966 --> 00:07:49,470 does he come here often? 214 00:07:49,572 --> 00:07:51,206 Not with that one. 215 00:07:51,309 --> 00:07:52,810 She's new. 216 00:07:53,741 --> 00:07:56,346 Well, good for him. 217 00:07:56,448 --> 00:07:58,777 Single, good-looking pastor. 218 00:07:58,879 --> 00:08:00,319 In a small town like this, 219 00:08:00,421 --> 00:08:02,248 he might as well be Roger Staubach. 220 00:08:04,623 --> 00:08:06,487 Oh, my God. The Dallas Cowboys. 221 00:08:06,589 --> 00:08:08,359 Oh, sure, course. 222 00:08:08,461 --> 00:08:10,253 Um... hey, if you need me, 223 00:08:10,355 --> 00:08:12,756 I'm gonna be in the office doing... 224 00:08:12,858 --> 00:08:14,634 office things. 225 00:08:20,637 --> 00:08:21,635 What are you doing here? 226 00:08:21,737 --> 00:08:23,200 I ran out of beer at home, 227 00:08:23,302 --> 00:08:25,038 didn't feel like driving to the store. 228 00:08:25,141 --> 00:08:27,409 Oh, so you just waltz in and help yourself? 229 00:08:27,511 --> 00:08:29,445 'Bout sums it up. 230 00:08:29,547 --> 00:08:31,445 I'm changing the locks. 231 00:08:31,547 --> 00:08:34,148 (laughs) Cheers. 232 00:08:37,885 --> 00:08:39,652 So, how's my daughter doing? 233 00:08:39,754 --> 00:08:41,251 Eh, she seems okay. 234 00:08:41,353 --> 00:08:43,089 Still trying to figure things out. 235 00:08:43,191 --> 00:08:45,695 I got to be honest, I'm not exactly upset 236 00:08:45,797 --> 00:08:47,462 about less religion in the house. 237 00:08:47,564 --> 00:08:49,501 (chuckles) I hear you. 238 00:08:49,603 --> 00:08:51,536 Although, Jesus making her forgive me 239 00:08:51,638 --> 00:08:53,871 has come in handy more than a few times. 240 00:08:53,973 --> 00:08:56,739 (chuckles) Yeah, I played that card, too. (chuckles) 241 00:08:56,841 --> 00:08:59,442 Then again, I remember Mary before God 242 00:08:59,544 --> 00:09:00,973 got His mitts on her, and... 243 00:09:01,075 --> 00:09:03,677 (chuckles) ...she was pretty wild. 244 00:09:03,779 --> 00:09:05,549 Don't have to tell me. 245 00:09:05,651 --> 00:09:06,948 I was the person she was wild with. 246 00:09:07,050 --> 00:09:10,221 Oh, she was wild long before she ever met you. 247 00:09:10,323 --> 00:09:11,552 What do you mean? 248 00:09:12,555 --> 00:09:16,292 Did you think that you were the first person she was wild with? 249 00:09:16,394 --> 00:09:19,633 Well... yeah. 250 00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:26,865 And just when the Enterprise is about to be 251 00:09:26,967 --> 00:09:28,299 assimilated by the Borg, 252 00:09:28,402 --> 00:09:31,773 another ship appears, piloted by Wesley Crusher. 253 00:09:31,875 --> 00:09:33,743 Uh-huh. It's surprising because 254 00:09:33,845 --> 00:09:35,378 Wesley Crusher left the show years ago, 255 00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:36,477 so it's a big deal. 256 00:09:36,579 --> 00:09:37,712 If you say so. 257 00:09:37,814 --> 00:09:39,012 I have more. Commander Data... 258 00:09:39,114 --> 00:09:41,450 I'd like a reservation for dinner. 259 00:09:41,552 --> 00:09:42,719 Yes, I'll hold. 260 00:09:42,821 --> 00:09:44,656 You want to do this over dinner? Okay. 261 00:09:44,758 --> 00:09:46,853 I'm taking your grandmother out tonight. 262 00:09:46,955 --> 00:09:48,384 She didn't mention it to me. 263 00:09:48,486 --> 00:09:50,790 Maybe because it doesn't concern you. 264 00:09:50,892 --> 00:09:52,190 My meemaw, my professor-- 265 00:09:52,292 --> 00:09:54,926 who's in the middle of that Venn diagram? 266 00:09:55,028 --> 00:09:56,797 Yes, two people at 8:00. 267 00:09:56,899 --> 00:09:58,733 8:00's a little late for Meemaw. 268 00:09:58,836 --> 00:10:00,398 What time does she like to eat? 269 00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:03,134 Well, she's old like you, so 6:30 at the latest. 270 00:10:03,236 --> 00:10:05,873 Can we make that 6:30? Wonderful. 271 00:10:05,975 --> 00:10:08,847 Hold on. Does she like French food? 272 00:10:09,646 --> 00:10:11,943 I'll call you back. 273 00:10:12,045 --> 00:10:14,148 Anyway, Commander Data... 274 00:10:14,250 --> 00:10:16,317 Let me ask you a question, if this Commander Data 275 00:10:16,419 --> 00:10:19,490 were taking your meemaw out for dinner, where would they go? 276 00:10:19,592 --> 00:10:21,225 Almost certainly the holodeck. 277 00:10:21,327 --> 00:10:22,854 Sounds trendy. 278 00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:24,731 Is that in Houston? 279 00:10:28,333 --> 00:10:29,298 Hello. 280 00:10:29,401 --> 00:10:30,633 What's up? 281 00:10:30,735 --> 00:10:32,436 I saw your "help wanted" sign. 282 00:10:32,538 --> 00:10:33,633 I'd like to help, please. 283 00:10:33,735 --> 00:10:34,768 How old are you? 284 00:10:34,870 --> 00:10:36,502 How old do I need to be? 285 00:10:36,604 --> 00:10:37,540 14. 286 00:10:37,642 --> 00:10:39,575 (scoffs) Do I not look 14? 287 00:10:39,677 --> 00:10:41,708 I don't care. Perfect. 288 00:10:41,810 --> 00:10:43,210 So, when do I start? 289 00:10:43,312 --> 00:10:45,644 All right, hold on, do you even like comic books? 290 00:10:45,746 --> 00:10:46,714 Yeah. 291 00:10:46,816 --> 00:10:47,985 What's your favorite? 292 00:10:49,222 --> 00:10:50,249 Um... 293 00:10:50,351 --> 00:10:52,591 And the cool thing about the X-Men is not just 294 00:10:52,693 --> 00:10:53,656 that they have superpowers, but they act 295 00:10:53,758 --> 00:10:55,189 as a metaphor for outsiders... 296 00:10:55,291 --> 00:10:57,790 ...outsiders trying to find their place in society. 297 00:10:57,892 --> 00:10:59,427 Who's your favorite? 298 00:10:59,530 --> 00:11:01,097 All of them. 299 00:11:02,368 --> 00:11:03,268 Mine, too. 300 00:11:03,370 --> 00:11:04,669 And I got the job. 301 00:11:04,771 --> 00:11:06,067 You can't work at the comic book store. 302 00:11:06,169 --> 00:11:07,535 If anyone should work at the comic book store, 303 00:11:07,637 --> 00:11:08,538 it should be me. 304 00:11:08,640 --> 00:11:09,936 Sorry, we're not hiring. 305 00:11:10,038 --> 00:11:11,538 Do I at least get a discount? 306 00:11:11,640 --> 00:11:13,241 I do. 307 00:11:13,907 --> 00:11:16,145 (muffled crying) 308 00:11:20,520 --> 00:11:22,551 Oh, hey, hi. (sniffles) 309 00:11:22,653 --> 00:11:25,022 Oh... You okay? 310 00:11:25,985 --> 00:11:27,252 Not really. 311 00:11:27,354 --> 00:11:30,425 It's been a... rough couple of days. 312 00:11:30,528 --> 00:11:32,295 I'm sorry. 313 00:11:32,398 --> 00:11:33,497 Thank you. 314 00:11:33,599 --> 00:11:34,831 Makes you feel better, 315 00:11:34,933 --> 00:11:36,193 I've had a pretty good couple of days, 316 00:11:36,295 --> 00:11:37,762 and I'm still gonna get drunk. 317 00:11:37,864 --> 00:11:39,567 (laughs) 318 00:11:39,669 --> 00:11:41,269 Want to join me? 319 00:11:42,703 --> 00:11:43,935 Yes. 320 00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:45,607 That would be nice. 321 00:11:45,709 --> 00:11:46,973 More sad than nice, 322 00:11:47,075 --> 00:11:49,244 but let's go. (chuckles) Okay. 323 00:11:54,246 --> 00:11:55,520 So... this is unexpected. 324 00:11:55,623 --> 00:11:57,922 Well, I know you like margaritas, 325 00:11:58,024 --> 00:11:59,884 so my first thought was a Mexican restaurant. 326 00:11:59,986 --> 00:12:00,922 Good thought. 327 00:12:01,024 --> 00:12:02,262 But I assumed other men had come 328 00:12:02,364 --> 00:12:03,663 to that same conclusion. 329 00:12:03,765 --> 00:12:06,664 They have. Which led me to Polynesian fare. 330 00:12:06,766 --> 00:12:08,601 I like to think of the Mai Tai 331 00:12:08,703 --> 00:12:11,395 as the margarita of the South Pacific. 332 00:12:11,497 --> 00:12:14,264 You don't do anything on a whim, do you? 333 00:12:14,366 --> 00:12:16,337 Did once, didn't like it. 334 00:12:18,379 --> 00:12:19,409 (TV playing faintly) 335 00:12:19,511 --> 00:12:20,512 I have an idea 336 00:12:20,614 --> 00:12:21,546 for a Star Trek episode 337 00:12:21,648 --> 00:12:22,741 I'd like to present to you. 338 00:12:22,843 --> 00:12:24,142 Why me? 339 00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:25,642 Because I'm hoping to sell it, 340 00:12:25,744 --> 00:12:27,249 and since it's going to be broadcast television, 341 00:12:27,351 --> 00:12:29,580 I want to make sure the common man can understand it. 342 00:12:29,682 --> 00:12:31,987 (scoffs) Well, I understand I was just insulted. 343 00:12:32,089 --> 00:12:34,350 Excellent, I came to the right common man. 344 00:12:34,453 --> 00:12:35,728 (TV clicks off) We start on 345 00:12:35,830 --> 00:12:38,265 a gas giant in the vicinity of Rigel IV, 346 00:12:38,367 --> 00:12:39,833 then see a shuttlecraft, 347 00:12:39,935 --> 00:12:42,929 a dot of silver against the inky blackness of space. 348 00:12:43,031 --> 00:12:44,429 Inside the shuttlecraft, 349 00:12:44,532 --> 00:12:46,840 we see Lieutenant Worf struggling to breathe. 350 00:12:46,942 --> 00:12:50,268 He's been infected by a vicious intelligent fungus. 351 00:12:50,370 --> 00:12:52,178 Where are you going? I'm listening. 352 00:12:52,280 --> 00:12:53,302 Cough, cough. 353 00:12:53,404 --> 00:12:55,241 Worf is choking on spores, 354 00:12:55,343 --> 00:12:56,878 but not just your everyday spores, 355 00:12:56,981 --> 00:12:58,483 these are spores with their own 356 00:12:58,585 --> 00:12:59,812 evil agenda. Uh-huh. 357 00:12:59,914 --> 00:13:00,684 And, as he sinks 358 00:13:00,786 --> 00:13:02,245 into a coma, a mysterious figure 359 00:13:02,347 --> 00:13:03,713 in a spacesuit approaches. 360 00:13:03,815 --> 00:13:05,722 He lowers the visor of his helmet revealing... 361 00:13:05,824 --> 00:13:07,324 Future Worf. Are you hooked? 362 00:13:07,427 --> 00:13:09,052 Oh, yeah. 363 00:13:09,154 --> 00:13:10,355 Main titles. 364 00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:11,962 Cue theme song and the soothing voice 365 00:13:12,064 --> 00:13:15,066 of Patrick Stewart as Captain Picard says... 366 00:13:16,568 --> 00:13:18,531 "Space..." 367 00:13:19,606 --> 00:13:21,605 "...the final frontier." 368 00:13:21,707 --> 00:13:24,537 Who's Patrick Stewart? 369 00:13:27,340 --> 00:13:28,812 Feeling better? I'm fine, 370 00:13:28,914 --> 00:13:31,084 just having a little moment earlier. 371 00:13:31,186 --> 00:13:32,217 Oh, yeah. 372 00:13:32,320 --> 00:13:33,217 All right. 373 00:13:33,319 --> 00:13:34,680 Mm. 374 00:13:34,782 --> 00:13:35,946 Mmm. 375 00:13:36,048 --> 00:13:37,418 ♪ ♪ 376 00:13:38,718 --> 00:13:41,728 Seems like running into Pastor Rob kind of... 377 00:13:41,830 --> 00:13:43,229 kind of rattled you a little bit. (chuckles) 378 00:13:43,331 --> 00:13:45,723 Oh, well... 379 00:13:46,931 --> 00:13:48,732 I was asked to leave the church, 380 00:13:48,834 --> 00:13:51,494 and he's still there, so... 381 00:13:51,596 --> 00:13:53,372 it's still a little fresh. Mm. 382 00:13:53,474 --> 00:13:55,906 Yeah, I get that. 383 00:13:56,008 --> 00:13:58,244 Seems like a nice guy, though. Oh, yeah, 384 00:13:58,346 --> 00:13:59,642 he's great. 385 00:13:59,744 --> 00:14:01,411 Cute as a button. 386 00:14:01,513 --> 00:14:03,416 I guess. 387 00:14:03,518 --> 00:14:06,010 I prefer a bigger man. 388 00:14:06,112 --> 00:14:07,652 Like George? 389 00:14:07,754 --> 00:14:10,616 Oh, yeah. Bigger the better. 390 00:14:11,784 --> 00:14:14,052 Deep within the Enterprise's control room, 391 00:14:14,154 --> 00:14:15,154 Future Worf says, 392 00:14:15,256 --> 00:14:16,595 "I willingly sacrifice myself 393 00:14:16,697 --> 00:14:17,995 for the good of this mission," 394 00:14:18,097 --> 00:14:19,830 then throws himself into the warp core. 395 00:14:19,932 --> 00:14:21,562 There's an explosion of tachyons. 396 00:14:21,664 --> 00:14:25,061 The Enterprise blasts free of the gigantic field of fungus. 397 00:14:25,163 --> 00:14:26,063 Fade out. 398 00:14:26,165 --> 00:14:27,298 (toilet flushes) 399 00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:29,635 Written by Sheldon Lee Cooper. 400 00:14:30,643 --> 00:14:32,409 What do you think? 401 00:14:33,212 --> 00:14:36,441 If this Worf fella was infected on the shuttles, 402 00:14:36,543 --> 00:14:37,880 why would he come back to the Enterprise 403 00:14:37,982 --> 00:14:39,612 and put everyone else in danger? 404 00:14:40,420 --> 00:14:42,253 Well... 405 00:14:42,355 --> 00:14:45,250 ADULT SHELDON: My father found a flaw in my story, 406 00:14:45,353 --> 00:14:47,221 my sister had a job I envied. 407 00:14:47,323 --> 00:14:49,859 It was a big day for the common man. 408 00:14:49,961 --> 00:14:52,095 But then I had an idea that, 409 00:14:52,198 --> 00:14:54,466 like Future Worf, was ahead of its time. 410 00:14:54,568 --> 00:14:55,534 (knock on door) 411 00:14:55,636 --> 00:14:57,098 SHELDON: Missy. What? 412 00:14:57,200 --> 00:14:59,704 Why is a dollar worth a dollar? 413 00:14:59,806 --> 00:15:01,369 (sighs) Sheldon, I'm busy. 414 00:15:01,471 --> 00:15:03,205 Me too. I've solved all of our money problems. 415 00:15:03,307 --> 00:15:05,511 I'm going to invent my own digital currency. 416 00:15:05,613 --> 00:15:07,112 Like, printing your own? 417 00:15:07,214 --> 00:15:09,848 No. First, we assign value to difficult-to-find numbers 418 00:15:09,950 --> 00:15:11,280 and store them in a computer database. 419 00:15:11,382 --> 00:15:13,315 Then we create an algorithm to mine the numbers, 420 00:15:13,417 --> 00:15:15,446 then we encourage people to switch from currencies 421 00:15:15,548 --> 00:15:17,189 that are government-backed to ours. 422 00:15:17,992 --> 00:15:19,919 It's brilliant. I'm going to be rich. 423 00:15:20,021 --> 00:15:21,390 Speaking of, 424 00:15:21,492 --> 00:15:24,522 did you know Batman is also secretly a rich dude? 425 00:15:24,624 --> 00:15:26,763 Or he lives in a rich dude's basement. 426 00:15:26,865 --> 00:15:28,399 I'm still figuring it out. 427 00:15:28,501 --> 00:15:29,893 (sighs) 428 00:15:32,630 --> 00:15:34,833 Oh, thank you, tiki woman. 429 00:15:34,935 --> 00:15:35,673 So... 430 00:15:35,775 --> 00:15:37,272 what's going on at work? 431 00:15:37,374 --> 00:15:39,204 I don't want to bore you with science talk. 432 00:15:39,306 --> 00:15:40,739 No, no, I'm interested. 433 00:15:40,841 --> 00:15:43,312 Excellent. We're in a race with the Finnish team to see 434 00:15:43,414 --> 00:15:45,677 who can correct the unification of the leptons. 435 00:15:45,779 --> 00:15:48,316 As you can imagine, the world waits anxiously 436 00:15:48,419 --> 00:15:50,746 while we see who crosses the finish line first. 437 00:15:50,848 --> 00:15:53,083 So, the Finnish may be at the finish line? 438 00:15:53,186 --> 00:15:55,226 (laughing) 439 00:15:56,697 --> 00:15:58,488 Oh, you're witty, too. 440 00:15:58,590 --> 00:16:00,292 More cheese to bait the trap. 441 00:16:00,394 --> 00:16:02,559 Maybe we should order dinner. 442 00:16:02,661 --> 00:16:04,699 Nonsense, there's food right here. 443 00:16:04,802 --> 00:16:05,703 Pineapple, 444 00:16:05,805 --> 00:16:07,903 prickly on the outside, 445 00:16:08,005 --> 00:16:09,639 but beautiful inside, 446 00:16:09,741 --> 00:16:11,869 just like you. 447 00:16:15,609 --> 00:16:17,449 And you know that Shannon girl... 448 00:16:17,551 --> 00:16:18,682 With Pastor Rob? 449 00:16:18,784 --> 00:16:21,111 She was a bedwetter. 450 00:16:21,213 --> 00:16:22,113 (laughs) 451 00:16:22,215 --> 00:16:23,247 Ten years old. 452 00:16:23,349 --> 00:16:24,582 That's not normal. 453 00:16:24,684 --> 00:16:25,854 Maybe he'll get a fun little surprise 454 00:16:25,956 --> 00:16:27,090 on their honeymoon. 455 00:16:27,192 --> 00:16:29,925 Oh, no, they're not getting married. 456 00:16:30,027 --> 00:16:31,156 Well, how do you know? 457 00:16:31,258 --> 00:16:32,589 (scoffs) I don't. 458 00:16:32,691 --> 00:16:34,859 I just think he could do better. 459 00:16:35,635 --> 00:16:38,164 Mary Cooper. 460 00:16:38,266 --> 00:16:40,031 Are you sweet on him? 461 00:16:40,134 --> 00:16:41,805 No! What? 462 00:16:41,907 --> 00:16:44,871 I am a married woman. 463 00:16:44,973 --> 00:16:46,344 Happily. 464 00:16:46,446 --> 00:16:48,581 Well, I was married once, too, didn't stop me from looking. 465 00:16:48,683 --> 00:16:50,710 Well, I'm not looking. 466 00:16:51,651 --> 00:16:53,044 Where you going? 467 00:16:53,146 --> 00:16:54,150 To dance. 468 00:16:54,252 --> 00:16:55,687 I didn't think you Baptists did that. 469 00:16:55,789 --> 00:16:57,179 We don't drink, neither. 470 00:16:57,281 --> 00:16:58,557 Ooh! 471 00:16:58,659 --> 00:17:00,360 Look at me. Ooh! Wow. 472 00:17:00,462 --> 00:17:02,318 (Mary laughs) 473 00:17:02,420 --> 00:17:04,554 I'm pretty good. 474 00:17:04,657 --> 00:17:05,964 Are you familiar with the phrase, 475 00:17:06,066 --> 00:17:08,233 "You need money to make money"? No. 476 00:17:08,335 --> 00:17:10,969 Well, it's a phrase, and my clever twist on it is, 477 00:17:11,071 --> 00:17:13,438 "I'm going to make money to make money." 478 00:17:13,540 --> 00:17:14,965 Mm-hmm. 479 00:17:15,067 --> 00:17:16,305 Now, when I say "make money," you might think that 480 00:17:16,407 --> 00:17:18,275 I'm talking about counterfeiting, but no, 481 00:17:18,377 --> 00:17:20,738 I'm talking about creating a unique decentralized 482 00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:22,779 digital currency that people can pay to own. 483 00:17:22,881 --> 00:17:23,914 Sounds like a scam. 484 00:17:24,017 --> 00:17:25,842 No, it's an open-source currency 485 00:17:25,944 --> 00:17:27,983 that has value due to mathematical scarcity. 486 00:17:28,085 --> 00:17:29,722 Sounds pretty scammy. 487 00:17:29,825 --> 00:17:31,181 (scoffs) You don't understand. 488 00:17:31,283 --> 00:17:32,354 I do. 489 00:17:32,456 --> 00:17:33,989 You say a bunch of fancy jibber-jabber, 490 00:17:34,091 --> 00:17:35,223 people don't want to admit 491 00:17:35,325 --> 00:17:36,520 they're too stupid to understand, 492 00:17:36,623 --> 00:17:37,487 then they give you their money. 493 00:17:37,589 --> 00:17:40,062 Well... um... sort of. 494 00:17:40,165 --> 00:17:42,264 Love it. How do we get started? 495 00:17:42,366 --> 00:17:44,996 Well, all we need is a mainframe computer. 496 00:17:45,098 --> 00:17:47,732 How much is that? New, about half a million dollars, 497 00:17:47,835 --> 00:17:50,374 but I'm hoping to find something slightly used. 498 00:17:51,141 --> 00:17:53,443 Time will prove me right. 499 00:17:55,213 --> 00:17:56,575 You're not gonna believe this, 500 00:17:56,677 --> 00:17:57,976 but I don't go on a lot of dates. 501 00:17:58,078 --> 00:17:59,209 No. 502 00:17:59,312 --> 00:18:00,920 It's true. 503 00:18:01,022 --> 00:18:03,018 Sure, I did okay as a younger man, but 504 00:18:03,120 --> 00:18:04,848 there was a war on and 505 00:18:04,951 --> 00:18:06,485 most of the able-bodied men were elsewhere. 506 00:18:06,587 --> 00:18:08,628 So, you sowed some oats, I get it. 507 00:18:08,730 --> 00:18:09,895 A whole field of them. 508 00:18:09,997 --> 00:18:11,761 I was the Johnny Appleseed of oats. 509 00:18:11,863 --> 00:18:12,830 Okay. (laughs) 510 00:18:12,932 --> 00:18:15,024 But here's the thing. 511 00:18:15,126 --> 00:18:18,094 Once you put off matrimony past a certain point, 512 00:18:18,196 --> 00:18:20,936 women start to think of you as... What's the word? 513 00:18:21,038 --> 00:18:23,500 Creepy? There it is. 514 00:18:23,602 --> 00:18:25,272 And then along comes you, 515 00:18:25,375 --> 00:18:27,042 my little Texas firecracker, 516 00:18:27,144 --> 00:18:28,373 playing the game of life 517 00:18:28,475 --> 00:18:29,805 by her own set of rules. 518 00:18:29,907 --> 00:18:33,111 I'm a firecracker, I'm a pineapple... 519 00:18:33,214 --> 00:18:34,250 Good for me. 520 00:18:34,352 --> 00:18:36,282 Can I ask you a personal question? 521 00:18:36,384 --> 00:18:37,381 Oh, I wish you wouldn't. 522 00:18:37,483 --> 00:18:38,416 How would you like 523 00:18:38,518 --> 00:18:39,849 to make love to a man 524 00:18:39,951 --> 00:18:41,792 who shook the hand of Albert Einstein? 525 00:18:41,894 --> 00:18:43,552 And... you did. 526 00:18:43,654 --> 00:18:45,732 This one right here. 527 00:18:45,834 --> 00:18:46,929 I didn't wash it for a week. 528 00:18:47,031 --> 00:18:48,762 Not a selling point. 529 00:18:50,035 --> 00:18:52,271 Excuse me for a moment. 530 00:18:53,071 --> 00:18:55,274 I have to toss my cookies. 531 00:18:58,772 --> 00:19:00,137 (door closes) (TV playing faintly) 532 00:19:00,239 --> 00:19:01,375 Hey. 533 00:19:01,477 --> 00:19:02,848 Where you been? (TV clicks off) 534 00:19:02,950 --> 00:19:05,816 Brenda and I went dancing. 535 00:19:05,918 --> 00:19:07,611 You went dancing? 536 00:19:07,714 --> 00:19:10,556 Yeah, and I'm darn good at it. 537 00:19:10,658 --> 00:19:12,148 (chuckles) Okay. 538 00:19:13,091 --> 00:19:15,426 The kids asleep? Yep. 539 00:19:16,490 --> 00:19:19,265 You want to fool around? 540 00:19:20,659 --> 00:19:21,567 Are you messing with me? 541 00:19:21,669 --> 00:19:23,764 I'm hoping to. 542 00:19:24,531 --> 00:19:25,865 Well, hot diggity dog. 543 00:19:33,048 --> 00:19:35,071 Welcome to King Kong Comics. I'm Missy. 544 00:19:35,173 --> 00:19:36,816 If you have any questions, please let me know. 545 00:19:36,918 --> 00:19:38,150 I don't have any questions. 546 00:19:38,252 --> 00:19:39,810 I know more about comic books than you do. 547 00:19:39,912 --> 00:19:42,019 Okay. What you may not know is the new 548 00:19:42,121 --> 00:19:43,589 Green Lantern just came in. 549 00:19:44,458 --> 00:19:46,719 Also, if you like green things, I recommend Green Arrow, 550 00:19:46,821 --> 00:19:48,851 and, of course, the Hulk. His skin is green. 551 00:19:48,953 --> 00:19:50,689 I know that. Everyone knows that. 552 00:19:50,791 --> 00:19:52,892 Uh-oh, are you gonna smash things? 553 00:19:52,994 --> 00:19:54,732 That's something the Hulk does when he gets upset. 554 00:19:54,834 --> 00:19:55,901 I'm not upset. 555 00:19:56,004 --> 00:19:57,334 Cool. If you need something, 556 00:19:57,437 --> 00:19:59,932 I'll be at the front counter. Where I work. 557 00:20:10,150 --> 00:20:13,049 Captioning sponsored by CBS 558 00:20:13,151 --> 00:20:16,050 WARNER BROS. TELEVISION 559 00:20:16,152 --> 00:20:18,853 and TOYOTA. 560 00:20:18,955 --> 00:20:22,394 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 40213

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