All language subtitles for Sex.and.the.City.S04E16.Ring.A.Ding.Ding.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-NTb-NHI

A girl in pigtails
once said,
"There's no place like home."

But then, her home
didn't have a toilet

that flushed for no reason...

And a boyfriend
who was moving out

for one big reason.

Well, that's the last of it.

Okay.

-Do you want me to fix that?
-No, it's okay.

I can get someone
to come and fix it.

Just let me
get in there for a sec...

Hold the ball cock.

Huh?

-See right here?
-Oh.

Yeah, right there.

That should do it.

I should go.

You can't leave.

Our last words to each other
can't be "ball cock."

You should definitely stay.

At least for another day.

Or forever.

We've been through this.

I can't.

Are you sure?

I am.

Aidan, um...

This... this is difficult
to say...

Um... I left the ring
on the clown table.

-It's yours.
-No, no, no, no.

I should never have accepted it
in the first place,

I'm sorry.

Please take the ring.

But I want you to have it.

Please take it.

If you do or say...

one more nice thing...

Okay, I gotta go.

All right.
I can't watch you leave.

So I think I'm just gonna,
I better just--

I'm gonna stay in here.

Could you just...

Could you just um,
shut the door and...

Carrie...

I know.

Go.

Three hours later,

I peeled myself
off the bathroom floor.

Apparently, there were things
that were difficult

for Aidan to say as well.

I curled up to read
Aidan's last words to me.

Also known as
"The goodbye letter."

Aidan's evicting her?

He's not evicting her.

He's giving her 30 days
to decide what she wants to do.

Well, that's just tacky.

Look, life gets complicated.

Steve and I are drawing up
papers to timeshare our kid.

Great love stories are supposed
to end with tragedy and tears,

not papers from the law firm
of Gold and Vogel.

This is more than fair.

He's asking you
to buy your apartment

for the exact price he paid

or you can vacate
and he'll sell it.

Vacate?

I'm homeless.
I'll be a bag lady.

A Fendi bag lady,
but a bag lady.

Well, maybe you should think
about buying your place.

No, I'm not a buyer.

New York is a town of renters.

Everybody rents.

-I don't.
-I don't.

I don't.

You got yours in the settlement.

You did not have
to pay for your apartment.

Oh, I paid for that apartment.

I'm pregnant.
I can't control it.

Well, honey, you better learn

because that is unappetizing.

I know.

I am so swollen and gassy.

I'm like a flotation device.

No, I'll get this one.
And I don't
want a fight out of you.

Save it for your down payment.

Ooh! Excuse me?
You bought the Chanel wallet?

Oh, no.
Richard gave it to me as a gift.

Nice! What was the occasion?

No occasion.

He is in love with you.

He's not in love with me.

-You don't know that.
-Yes, I do.

Take a look at the card.

"Style for style.

Best, Richard."

-"Best," yikes.
-"Best" is the worst.

Yeah, even Gold and Vogel
give you a "sincerely."

Best is like signing,
"Not love."

Well,
it's the thought that counts.

He bought you something
he knew you'd love.

Yeah, he's a pretty
generous guy.

With money.

Aidan wanted me
to keep the ring.

You did, didn't you?

Oh, honey, you're a fool.

No.

It was the right thing to do.

Did you ever think about
giving yours back?

No, I love that ring.

Oh, I couldn't keep it.

Every time I looked at it,
it would break my heart.

This ring is worth a lot.

Tiffany, 2.17 carats,
platinum setting.

Beautiful cut,
very few inclusions.

So what do you want
to do with it?

I was thinking maybe
I'd turn it into a... necklace?

A floating diamond necklace
would be to die.

Very now.

So a lot of people do this?

These were my baguettes.

Because it turned out
my husband was a "fagette,"

now they're earrings.
But he had good taste.

So a necklace?

-I'm not sure.
-Maybe a pendant?

We can melt down
the platinum setting

and turn it into
spectacular earrings.

Melt? Melt it down?

There in
the wedding band boneyard,

Charlotte started to melt down.

I don't think
I'm ready for this.

Just don't take it
to the Gypsies next door.

Okay.

Let's look at your assets here
at the bank.

We may be able to use them
as collateral for the loan.

Linda, line one.

Okay.

It says here that you have

$700 in your checking account.

I just paid my credit card bill.

And $957 in savings?

Look... Linda.

You're single, right?

So I'm sure that
you can appreciate my problem.

I just broke up with my fiancé,

which, trust me,
is traumatic enough.

Linda, line two.

And now...

I have 25 days

to either find the money
to buy my place

or I am out on the street.

Do you have any other income

besides the column?

No.
But I was chosen as
New York Magazine's best pick

for city columnist.

I was the pick over Pete Hamill.

What about your assets
outside the bank?

Property?
Stocks? Bonds?

No.

No, no.

I'm sorry, Miss Bradshaw...

but you're not
a desirable candidate

for a loan.

After assessing
what little assets I had,

I realized I would have
to change my lifestyle.

Excuse me?

Can you tell me
how much the bus is?

$1.50.

Really?

Wow, the last time
I took the bus,

it was like 75 cents.

You know, for three more bucks
you could take a cab.

For crying out loud.

Why do you have to take the bus,
if you're on the bus?

My thoughts exactly.

So here I was,
a 35-year-old single woman

with no financial security,

but many life experiences
behind me.

-Did that mean nothing?

After all,
heartbreak and breakups

are the hardest kind of work.

So shouldn't there be some sort
of credit for enduring them?

And if not, how do you
retain a sense of value

when you have nothing concrete
to show for it?

Because at the end

of yet another
failed relationship,

when all you have
are war wounds and self-doubt,

you have to wonder...

What's it all worth?

Let me just say again,
I love your gallery.

So if there are
ever any openings,

you have my resume.

Meanwhile, a woman with
far fewer financial worries

was also
contemplating her worth.

Charlotte knew the ring
didn't mean as much now

that she was
no longer with Trey.

But on that particularly
low Thursday,

she put on her
2.17 carat diamond

and wandered around her 2.17
carat Park Avenue apartment.

That night at Richard's...

Another gift?

Are you trying to spoil me?

That's the plan.

Ooh, La Petite Coquette,
my favorite.

I know. I pay attention.

Wait a minute, there's a card.

Oh.

The card.

"Sexy for sexy.
Best, Richard."

Why don't you slip into that
while I pour us some Cristal?

I'll do my very best.

Oh, water, water everywhere,
and not a drop to drink.

Oh, this is torture.

Why are you doing this to me?

I can't buy shoes.

Well, I have to buy shoes.

None of my old ones fit.

Even my feet are fat.

Well, these are pretty.

I'm looking for comfortable.

Then I'll try these for you.

-Excuse me, sir.
-Yes?

Could I try these, please,
in a seven and a half?

Oh, and um, these, and...

well, I guess,
just all of these.

But sir...

no matter what happens
in the next 20 minutes,

under no circumstances
am I to buy these.

I'm just trying them on for fun.

-How fun for me.

Could I try these in a nine?

-Sure.
-Thanks.

What is that smell?

Sorry.

I've learned to control
the sound now,

but not the activity.

Well, that's just mean.

Damn.

How are people gonna know
to scatter without a warning?

Although maybe
it's not that I've...

controlled the noise

as much as my ass is so big

-the sound is now muffled.

Look at my fingers.

They're like sausages.

I can't even get my ring off.

I'm telling you, the fat ass,

the farting.

It's ridiculous.

I am unfuckable.

And I have never been
so horny in my entire life.

-Really?
-Yeah.

That's why you're supposed to be
married when you're pregnant.

So somebody is obligated
to have sex with you.

I'm an undesirable.

No, I am.

The lady at the bank said

I was an unattractive
candidate for a loan.

Where did all my money go?

I know I made some.

Uh... at 400 bucks a pop,

how many of these do you have?

Fifty?

Come on.

A hundred?

Would that be wrong?

100 times 400.

There's your down payment.

Well, that's only $4,000.

No, it's $40,000.

I've spent...

$40,000 on shoes

and I have no place to live?

I will literally be
the old woman
who lived in her shoes.

I pulled my own finger.

I'm a walking whoopee cushion.

When a girl gets
backed up against the walls

she can't afford,
she has to consider
renting others.

That's a closet?

Where do the shoes go?

You get one of those racks
that hang on the door.

I'll hang myself on the door
if I have to live here.

Do--

Do I smell curry?

There's an Indian
restaurant downstairs.

Delia, I ask you,

how can this apartment
be $2,800 a month?

I pay $750 for something
that's twice the size

and it don't smell
like take-out.

You have
a rent-controlled apartment?

I suggest you stay there.

Well... unfortunately,
that's really not an option.

Now, what other shitholes
are you showing me today?

I have to be honest,

with your attitude
and price limitations,

I think you should
consider Weehawken.

Uh, well, get back to me
when the numbers are in.

Well, look at you
all dressed up.

Applying for a job here?

So this is where you work?

It's cute.

It's smaller than I expected.

I always imagined rows
and rows of blondes

in tight sweaters typing.

Oh, they're at lunch.

I am here
in an official capacity.

Oh.

Aren't you gonna
ask me to sit down?

By all means, pick a chair.

Faced with the
prospect of Weehawken,

I decided it was time
to call in the "big" guns.

Now, what can I do for you?

I once read that
you took something like

three million dollars and
leveraged it to build a hundred
million dollar building.

How did you do that?

What's going on?

I want to buy my apartment.

But I have no money.

I'm worth nothing.

You're worth
a million bucks, Bradshaw.

Well, maybe you should
go work at a bank.

Aidan and I broke up.

So it's not just money troubles.

Why didn't you call me?

I got enough troubles.

What happened?

Apparently, you were right.

I'm not the marrying kind.

Or the timing wasn't right.

You're gonna be okay, kid.

So I need money.

You know money.

I need to know what
you know about money.

Simple.

I'll tell you how
to get the money.

Big offered me the money
for my down payment,

but I could never take it.

-Could I?
-No, you couldn't.

He just gave you $30,000?

As a loan.
I would pay him back.

Take the money.

When a man gives you money,
you give him control.

It's just money.

Man, woman, who cares?

It's fluid.
Someone needs it, you give it.

You need it, you take it.

I'm uncomfortable
with this conversation.

We shouldn't be
talking about money.

Why not?
We talk about everything else.

Yeah, people are funny
about money.

Like Richard.

He's happy to buy me gifts,
but--

still no "love"?

No, but he continues
to send his "best."

Don't cash Big's check.

I'll loan you the money.

You're about to have a baby.

I can't take your money.

And furthermore,
do you have that much?

I have about half that.

What, does no one else
shoe shop?

I could loan you the rest.

Look, that is...

really, really sweet
of you two to offer--

It's really, really sweet.

But I'm gonna...

I'm gonna do this on my own.

So I can't tape it back.

-I have news!
-Ooh.

It looks like
I've gotten a job as a docent

-at the Museum of Modern Art.
Hmm.

Well, what does that pay?
I can docent.

Oh, it's a volunteer job.

But they're very
coveted positions.

Oh.

You come back.

I have no fortune.

I didn't need a cookie
to tell me that.

You know, these fans
only cost a dollar.

I'm gonna save a lot of money
on air conditioning.

Are you okay?

No apartment and no Aidan.

It's been a rough two weeks.

Just give me a block,
I'm gonna be fine.

As I thought about
leaving the apartment

that I had lived in
for the past decade,

I realized how much
I would miss it.

Through everything, it had
always been there for me.

And suddenly,
I was irrationally angry.

And I knew just where and who

to take it irrationally out on.

Hi.

What are you doing here?

I was just in the neighborhood.

Well, come on in.

You want some iced tea
or something?

Why didn't you
offer me the money?

-I knew you were gonna say that.
-I wouldn't take it.

Well then, what does it matter
if I offered it or not?

Because...

I would have offered it to you.

You're my friend.

And money and friendship
don't mix.

My father and his friend Paul
were never the same after--

We're not talking about
your father and his friend Paul.

We're talking about you
and your friend, me.

And for the record, I am aware

that I have some
financial messiness
that I have to clean up.

And to that end, I am looking

into some freelance
magazine work.

I've been offered
$4.00 a word at Vogue.

That is a lot.

Most people get $2.00.

So yes, I have
made some mistakes.

And Charlotte...

you have made some mistakes.

And when you were
making those mistakes,

I was sitting across from you
at the coffee shop,

nodding, and listening,
and supporting you.

I was not sitting
at a Chinese restaurant

turning away when you should
have been looking at me.

And what kills me
is you don't even have to work.

You're volunteering.

Carrie, I love you.

But it is not my job
to fix your finances.

You're a 35-year-old woman.

You need to learn
to stand on your own.

Charlotte...

What is that on your finger?

I just wear it when
I'm alone in my house.

And you're telling me
to be more independent?

It's my ring.

I can wear it if I want to.

And so what if it
makes me feel better?

And for the record,

the only reason
that I am volunteering

is because no one will hire me!

I've called seven galleries.

Apparently, I have
too much experience.

You're right.

It's your ring,
it's your business.

I just got all worked up
on the walk over here.

-You walked?
-No.

I took a $5.00 cab ride
seven blocks.

These shoes pinch my feet,
but I love them.

I am in a financial cul-de-sac.

But I'm gonna take the bus.

I just hope I'm not on it.

Meanwhile,
in the lap of luxury...

It's okay.
I'm Richard's assistant
and I'm gay!

Well, "gay," turn around
and give a girl a moment.

I'm Roger and you weren't
supposed to be here.

Well, Richard left and I decided
to take a nice, relaxing bath,

but now that's shot to shit.

Okay, decent.

I am so sorry, but if
it's any consolation...

Wow.

Pilates.

So why haven't I seen you
around the office?

Uh, he has three assistants.

I run his errands.

Oh, his errands.

Is that an "errand"
gift-wrapped on the bed?

Uh...

All right.
I'm his personal shopper.

He's a very busy man.

I'll bet.

Exactly how many women
are you buying gifts for?

What do you mean?

Roger, honey,
you've seen my bush...

We're a little past acting coy.

Since you came into the picture,

a lot less.

And he's never sent me
to Chanel before.

That was fun.

Great wallet.

It also came in red,
but I couldn't decide--

So Richard didn't pick out
any of these gifts?

Technically, no...

But he really, really likes you.

I could tell.

Yeah, he thinks I'm the "best."

Wait,

the cards.

"Style for style"?

"Sexy for sexy"?

Um...

Me for you.

Please don't have me fired.

I'll tell you what.

I'll pretend you don't exist...

Thank you.

If you do one thing for me.

Oh, Richard!

I thought you'd like it.

Oh, you did?

Oh! Oops.

I forgot the card.

"Gorgeous for gorgeous...

Love, Richard."

I love you, Samantha.

I do.

You do?

And I love...

this.

Samantha could have
said, "I love you,"

but she was afraid it would
cost her too much.

So she did what she did best.

Okay.

So, um, every other Saturday.

And Wednesday at 5:00,
you take him.

I was thinking 4:57
would be better.

You think this is stupid?

No, I just was thinking

that, you know, things are
gonna get off schedule.

I mean, we're talking
about a kid, not a train.

I'd offer to do that for you,

but I don't think that
it's in the contract, so...

Don't give me a hard time.

I could fart you
into oblivion right now.

Oh! Oh, that feels so great.

Thanks.

Steve, am I ugly?

What?

No.

You got that glow.

But would you want
to have sex with me?

What are you talking about?

You're pregnant.

Yeah, and another
charming side effect,

aside from flatulence
and bloating

is all I can think about is sex.

And who would want
to have sex with me?

I'd like to have
sex with you, but...

I'm pretty sure
that it's not allowed.

I've read section B14
of the contract

and...

it said nothing about sex.

Fuck the contract.

And please fuck me.

-Ouch.
-What?

You're squishing me
a little bit.

-Sorry.
-No.

That night, Steve gave
Miranda multiple orgasms.

For what it's worth.

Just to be clear,

this doesn't mean
we're a couple.

This is a mercy fuck.

I'm sorry about the other day.

And I'm sorry if
I hurt your feelings.

You were right.

I haven't wanted to let go

of being Mrs. Trey MacDougal.

Well, I think that you are
coping amazingly well.

I'm just scared.

I know.

Me, too.

Wow.

We're alone again.

Yeah.

I want you to take the ring
for your down payment.

Oh, no.

No, I can't, I can't.

You love this ring.

No.

I loved what
the ring represented.

No, Charlotte,
I think you're right.

It would make things
too complicated, it's--

Carrie, this is
a straightforward
business proposal.

Clean and simple.

Why do I have all this money
if I can't help out a friend?

But it would be a loan.

I would pay you back.

I know.

I want you to think
really carefully about this.

I have.

Will you be comfortable knowing

that it will take me time

to pay you back?

Yes, I will.

I really appreciate this.

And I'll pay you back,
you know that, right?

I do.

It's okay.

I trust you.

Will you take the ring?

I will.

Thank you.

Charlotte had
taken her painful past

and turned it
into my hopeful future.

And that made the ring...

priceless.

Oh!

I start work
at the museum next week.

Ooh, that's great!

Oh, guess what?

I got Vogue up to $4.50 a word.

I fixed the toilet.

And I should be done with this
by the end of the afternoon.

Okay, great. Thank you.

It wasn't quite as easy as

clicking my Manolo Blahniks
three times.

But it was worth it.

I was home.