Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000
Downloaded from
YTS.MX
2
00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000
Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
3
00:00:57,680 --> 00:01:00,760
My mother was a punk rock icon.
4
00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:05,800
People often ask me
if she was a good mum.
5
00:01:07,640 --> 00:01:09,800
It's hard to know what to say.
6
00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:17,240
Sometimes I think of an answer
she might have come up with.
7
00:01:18,440 --> 00:01:20,480
"A good mum?" she'd ask.
8
00:01:21,520 --> 00:01:23,160
How banal.
9
00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:25,680
How mundane.
10
00:01:32,320 --> 00:01:34,320
The funeral was surreal.
11
00:01:36,560 --> 00:01:38,920
My memory of it is a blur.
12
00:01:41,720 --> 00:01:44,280
All these people I'd never met,
13
00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:48,840
people who came to say goodbye
to Poly Styrene.
14
00:01:50,080 --> 00:01:51,640
This famous person.
15
00:01:53,520 --> 00:01:57,880
Someone so far removed
from the mother I knew.
16
00:02:00,240 --> 00:02:03,120
I felt sick to my stomach.
17
00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:11,400
I wasn't ready to be
the care-taker
18
00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:14,160
of Poly Styrene's legacy.
19
00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:17,680
I'd just lost my mum.
20
00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:22,880
There was only me now.
21
00:02:24,640 --> 00:02:26,560
The only child she had.
22
00:02:28,520 --> 00:02:30,640
And now she'd gone
and left me
23
00:02:30,640 --> 00:02:32,640
to deal with it alone.
24
00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:35,640
Thanks, Mum!
25
00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:04,120
I know your antiseptic
26
00:03:04,120 --> 00:03:08,480
Your deodorant smells nice
27
00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:11,320
I'd like to get to know you
28
00:03:11,320 --> 00:03:16,640
You're deep frozen
Like the ice
29
00:03:18,080 --> 00:03:21,800
She's a germ-free adolescent
30
00:03:21,840 --> 00:03:25,240
Cleanliness is her obsession
31
00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:29,040
Cleans her teeth
Ten times a day
32
00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:32,240
Scrub away
Scrub away, scrub away
33
00:03:32,240 --> 00:03:34,880
The S.R. Way
34
00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:49,080
My mother taught me
to love the sea,
35
00:03:50,240 --> 00:03:54,200
for water is the beginning
and end of life on this Earth.
36
00:03:58,160 --> 00:04:02,360
I find a kind of solace
in retracting her footsteps,
37
00:04:04,080 --> 00:04:07,840
barely visible as they are
in the sands of time.
38
00:04:11,880 --> 00:04:15,120
"July 3, 1976.
39
00:04:15,560 --> 00:04:17,040
Hastings Pier.
40
00:04:18,120 --> 00:04:20,320
It's my birthday
and I'll party if I want to.
41
00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:25,400
Nineteen today.
What a birthday surprise.
42
00:04:29,240 --> 00:04:32,240
Tacky Day-Glo sign,
Sex Pistols,
43
00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:36,840
market traders,
all my Freudian peers,
44
00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:39,920
cockles, winkles and mussels.
45
00:04:40,800 --> 00:04:42,760
Never did like shellfish."
46
00:04:48,880 --> 00:04:53,880
"I stand centrepoint
in an almost empty ballroom.
47
00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:58,840
Three Swedish babes
stared at Johnny."
48
00:05:23,480 --> 00:05:26,920
It took me a long time
to go through her things.
49
00:05:28,840 --> 00:05:31,160
It was all too painful.
50
00:05:32,880 --> 00:05:35,800
And there was so much
to sort through...
51
00:05:36,520 --> 00:05:38,840
Photos, lyrics, albums.
52
00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:43,360
Things of value
and cultural importance.
53
00:05:44,320 --> 00:05:46,120
But I couldn't face it.
54
00:05:46,640 --> 00:05:48,280
So, I didn't.
55
00:05:49,920 --> 00:05:53,040
I had her ashes in a box, too.
56
00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:55,760
I kept it in a wardrobe.
57
00:05:56,840 --> 00:05:59,160
She wanted me
to take them to India.
58
00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:02,840
But I couldn't face
that, either.
59
00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:09,360
It was about five years
after she died
60
00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:12,440
that I decided to
go through everything.
61
00:06:13,760 --> 00:06:16,240
I was blown away
by her artistry.
62
00:06:17,560 --> 00:06:20,840
She did all the artwork
for the band herself.
63
00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:26,240
I enjoyed piecing together
all the parts of her puzzle.
64
00:06:27,560 --> 00:06:31,000
Building a picture
of who she'd been before me.
65
00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:37,280
X-Ray Spex are one
of the best exponents
66
00:06:37,280 --> 00:06:40,280
of the so-called punk
or New Wave music.
67
00:06:40,320 --> 00:06:42,840
Vocalist Poly Styrene
is the punkiest.
68
00:06:55,320 --> 00:06:58,480
Poly Styrene chose her name
from the yellow pages.
69
00:06:58,520 --> 00:07:02,320
Otherwise Marianne Elliott,
aged 19 from Brixton,
70
00:07:02,360 --> 00:07:04,560
she's thought of
by the music press
71
00:07:04,560 --> 00:07:07,480
as one of the most
interesting songwriters
72
00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:08,800
to surface from the New Wave.
73
00:07:08,800 --> 00:07:11,280
I know I'm artificial
74
00:07:11,280 --> 00:07:14,640
But don't put
The blame on me
75
00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:17,000
I was reared with appliances
76
00:07:17,040 --> 00:07:19,600
In a consumer society
77
00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:22,400
One lady that's been causing
78
00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:24,680
a lot of controversy
right around London,
79
00:07:24,680 --> 00:07:26,440
is a lady I've got
in front of me now,
80
00:07:26,440 --> 00:07:29,520
a Miss Poly Styrene.
Welcome to the program.
81
00:07:29,520 --> 00:07:31,040
The name Poly Styrene,
82
00:07:31,040 --> 00:07:33,040
was it given to you
by a publicist, or what?
83
00:07:33,040 --> 00:07:37,040
No, I thought I'd use the name
of something around today,
84
00:07:37,080 --> 00:07:39,960
you know, something plastic
and synthetic.
85
00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:41,680
and I just looked
in the yellow pages
86
00:07:41,720 --> 00:07:43,040
and then I saw it.
87
00:07:43,040 --> 00:07:44,960
-Really?
-Yeah.
88
00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:47,000
So that's how the name
Poly Styrene finally was born,
89
00:07:47,040 --> 00:07:48,880
-from the yellow pages
phone book.
-Yeah.
90
00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:49,920
Oh, wow.
91
00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:53,040
It sounded alright,
92
00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:56,360
'cos I thought it was
a send up of being a pop star.
93
00:07:57,840 --> 00:08:00,640
It was like a little figure,
not me, being Poly Styrene.
94
00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:03,520
Just plastic, disposable.
95
00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:06,680
That's what pop stars
sort of meant to me,
96
00:08:06,680 --> 00:08:10,960
so therefore I thought
I might as well send it up.
97
00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:18,600
Long before Poly Styrene,
there was Marianne Elliott.
98
00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:21,360
Like all good heroines,
99
00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:24,000
my mother cut her teeth
on a tough childhood.
100
00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:29,400
A so-called "baby boomer"
born in '57,
101
00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:34,080
and times, they were a-changing
in post-war Britain.
102
00:08:43,840 --> 00:08:46,000
"Who am I? What the hell,
103
00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:47,800
I'm just an ordinary tough kid
104
00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:49,720
from an ordinary tough street."
105
00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:55,160
We grew up in this estate
which was called Gosling Way.
106
00:08:56,600 --> 00:08:59,640
It was one of those
old building estates,
107
00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:01,600
where, in our flat,
108
00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:05,040
we had a bath
in the kitchen with a lid on.
109
00:09:05,960 --> 00:09:08,080
So there was not
a separate bathroom.
110
00:09:08,920 --> 00:09:10,520
There was coal fires
111
00:09:10,520 --> 00:09:12,360
in the main sitting room
and one of the bedrooms,
112
00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:17,200
and in the other bedroom
there wasn't any fire at all.
113
00:09:18,040 --> 00:09:19,760
We knew we were poor,
114
00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:21,960
but the benefit system
wasn't as such as it is today,
115
00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:24,600
and my mum
had to work full time.
116
00:09:24,600 --> 00:09:25,600
She was a legal secretary.
117
00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:27,760
And so in a way,
118
00:09:27,760 --> 00:09:31,200
we were kind of like
the first latch-key kids.
119
00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:38,720
My nanny, Joan,
was a second mother to me.
120
00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:42,680
She looked after me
when Mum couldn't.
121
00:09:44,160 --> 00:09:46,200
She looked after everyone,
122
00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:48,600
a true matriarch.
123
00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:53,640
She was well spoken, upright,
124
00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:58,800
but at the same time,
something of a free spirit.
125
00:10:00,480 --> 00:10:02,760
She met my grandfather
at a dance.
126
00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:06,520
She was surprised
when he approached her.
127
00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:09,560
She wasn't
used to male attention.
128
00:10:11,080 --> 00:10:14,680
When he asked her to dance,
her heart skipped a beat.
129
00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:18,000
She thought he had the darkest
130
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:20,560
and saddest eyes
she'd ever seen.
131
00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:23,240
A real dapper chap, too.
132
00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:27,280
Suited and booted
with impeccable style.
133
00:10:28,640 --> 00:10:31,440
"Black is beautiful.
White is all right.
134
00:10:32,720 --> 00:10:34,800
You're half-caste girl,
Do you wanna fight?
135
00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:38,240
Black girl
carries her flick knife.
136
00:10:38,240 --> 00:10:40,480
Will she cut me up
for being half white?
137
00:10:41,240 --> 00:10:42,840
The national front are after me.
138
00:10:43,920 --> 00:10:46,600
I'm infiltrating,
can't you see?"
139
00:10:50,240 --> 00:10:52,480
My mum was half-caste,
140
00:10:52,880 --> 00:10:55,240
I'm quarter-caste,
141
00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:57,800
my cousin's three-quarter caste.
142
00:10:59,240 --> 00:11:01,520
Even when
I was growing up in the '90s,
143
00:11:01,520 --> 00:11:04,880
these were the kinds of terms
people would use to describe you
144
00:11:04,920 --> 00:11:06,400
if you were mixed race.
145
00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:09,320
It annoyed the hell out of me,
146
00:11:10,240 --> 00:11:13,160
and I know it upset my mum, too.
147
00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:16,320
It's like saying
you're not quite whole,
148
00:11:17,480 --> 00:11:21,280
you're just
a part-person, a fraction.
149
00:11:25,920 --> 00:11:28,360
My mum never had
no friends as such,
150
00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:32,680
because they just saw her
as a black man's whore.
151
00:11:33,640 --> 00:11:34,760
It was bad enough
being a single mother.
152
00:11:36,160 --> 00:11:38,200
Being a single mother
with half-black children
153
00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:40,600
was absolutely "Hey, hey!"
154
00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:43,800
You know, the white
community shunned Nanny, really.
155
00:11:44,920 --> 00:11:46,480
Join the National Front!
156
00:11:46,480 --> 00:11:48,760
The National Front!
The National Front!
157
00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:50,240
Join the National Front!
158
00:11:50,280 --> 00:11:52,640
The National Front!
The National Front!
159
00:11:52,680 --> 00:11:55,920
When a white person
looks at a mixed-race child,
160
00:11:55,920 --> 00:11:57,320
they think, "My God,
161
00:11:57,320 --> 00:11:59,320
a white person
went with a black person,"
162
00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:00,720
and vice versa.
163
00:12:02,320 --> 00:12:04,600
It's their genes, really,
trying to preserve themselves,
164
00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:10,160
because they see us as a threat
to their genetic existence.
165
00:12:14,840 --> 00:12:17,520
There were some nasty
remarks sometimes.
166
00:12:18,680 --> 00:12:22,000
I remember her coming home
with bruises on her legs
167
00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:24,240
where the boys had kicked her.
168
00:12:25,920 --> 00:12:27,640
She was a fighter,
169
00:12:27,640 --> 00:12:29,640
if you said something to her,
she won't keep her mouth shut.
170
00:12:29,680 --> 00:12:31,560
She's gonna
answer you back and say.
171
00:12:33,080 --> 00:12:34,800
That whole mixed-race thing
172
00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:37,240
would have been a fairly new
phenomena in this country.
173
00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:38,800
There was no social experiment
174
00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:41,240
for black-and-white couples
having kids.
175
00:12:42,240 --> 00:12:45,080
And consequently,
their kids were very confused.
176
00:12:45,080 --> 00:12:46,560
At school, you'd be like,
177
00:12:46,560 --> 00:12:48,800
"What side should you play on?"
178
00:12:50,680 --> 00:12:52,320
The attitude was that
179
00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:54,280
you weren't ever
really black enough
180
00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:56,560
and you weren't
light-skinned enough.
181
00:12:56,560 --> 00:12:58,360
You know,
you were obviously not white
182
00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:00,080
and you weren't black enough
183
00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:01,880
to be part
of the black community.
184
00:13:04,040 --> 00:13:06,560
The black kids there,
they could all say,
185
00:13:06,560 --> 00:13:09,040
"We're black,
we can all stick together."
186
00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:10,720
"We don't like white people."
187
00:13:10,720 --> 00:13:12,640
"I could never go out
with a pork head."
188
00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:17,000
But if you're half-caste
and you're with them,
189
00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:18,360
you don't really feel that,
190
00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:20,640
'cos, like,
your mum might be white.
191
00:13:20,640 --> 00:13:22,360
And they're
slagging off white people.
192
00:13:23,240 --> 00:13:25,800
And if you
go with the white kids,
193
00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:27,840
you have to reject your father.
194
00:13:30,280 --> 00:13:33,600
My Grandad,
Osman Mohammad Said,
195
00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:35,480
wasn't around much
when she was a kid.
196
00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:38,880
You could say
they were estranged.
197
00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:42,400
He spent his childhood years
198
00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:45,520
as a nomad
in the Somali hinterland.
199
00:13:46,640 --> 00:13:50,080
Then he made his way to Yemen
to seek his fortune,
200
00:13:51,440 --> 00:13:55,520
ending up as a stowaway
on a British merchant navy ship.
201
00:13:56,720 --> 00:13:59,040
He worked his passage
around the world,
202
00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:02,040
finally ending up
in the docklands
203
00:14:02,040 --> 00:14:04,040
of London's East End.
204
00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:09,680
My mum came to resent
205
00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:12,400
always having
to answer the question,
206
00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:13,920
"Where are you from?"
207
00:14:15,040 --> 00:14:17,520
She was a Londoner,
born and bred.
208
00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:20,240
But she was also brown,
209
00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:22,640
so her Britishness
was always questioned.
210
00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:26,760
In the end, she started to
question it herself.
211
00:14:27,640 --> 00:14:29,800
She had
this yearning for Africa.
212
00:14:30,680 --> 00:14:32,240
She used to dream about
213
00:14:32,240 --> 00:14:34,720
running away
from dreary, soggy England,
214
00:14:35,680 --> 00:14:37,840
where she never felt at home.
215
00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:42,320
"I wanna go back to Africa
216
00:14:42,320 --> 00:14:44,280
and find my heritage.
217
00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:47,440
I wanna learn about the warrior
218
00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:49,640
and how my ancestor lived.
219
00:14:50,680 --> 00:14:52,080
'Cos all I've seen
is 'Jungle Book',
220
00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:55,320
and I know
that ain't the way it looks.
221
00:14:56,040 --> 00:14:57,960
I grew up on 'Tarzan', too.
222
00:14:58,680 --> 00:14:59,760
What can he do?
223
00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:02,040
What can you do?
224
00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:05,000
I'm gonna cross Ethiopia
225
00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:07,840
and see that ancient land.
226
00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:10,720
And then I'll go to Somalia,
227
00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:13,800
barefoot across the sand."
228
00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:25,400
Hardly anyone
knew my mum was Somali.
229
00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:28,120
I mean, most people in the '60s
230
00:15:28,120 --> 00:15:31,880
knew next to nothing
about Somalia or Somali people.
231
00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:35,720
Even when I was growing up,
they didn't.
232
00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:39,320
When I found out
that Poly existed,
233
00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:41,760
that was, like,
such a validation for me.
234
00:15:43,040 --> 00:15:45,640
I have a Somali punk icon
to look up to?
235
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:51,520
I was interested in her story
because of the difficulties
236
00:15:51,520 --> 00:15:54,480
when you're growing up
between cultures.
237
00:15:55,400 --> 00:15:57,440
When you come to a community,
238
00:15:57,440 --> 00:16:00,200
you always want to learn
about the people
239
00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:01,760
who've been here before you.
240
00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:04,640
Who've pioneered
and kicked doors down
241
00:16:04,640 --> 00:16:08,200
and flattened walls
for us to come through.
242
00:16:09,960 --> 00:16:12,480
Identity, that's one of the
243
00:16:12,480 --> 00:16:15,280
current problems
at the moment, is identity.
244
00:16:15,280 --> 00:16:17,240
People try to
identify with something.
245
00:16:17,240 --> 00:16:19,200
Everybody's looking desperately
246
00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:21,200
to try and identify
with one thing
247
00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:23,720
instead of themselves,
and that's what that's about.
248
00:16:24,640 --> 00:16:29,240
Identity! One, two, three, four!
249
00:16:41,880 --> 00:16:47,240
Identity is the crisis
Can't you see?
250
00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:51,240
Identity
251
00:16:51,240 --> 00:16:54,000
Identity
252
00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:57,080
When you look in the mirror
Do you see yourself?
253
00:16:57,080 --> 00:17:00,080
Do you see yourself
On the TV screen?
254
00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:03,280
Do you see yourself
In the magazine?
255
00:17:03,280 --> 00:17:07,000
When you see yourself
Does it make you scream?
256
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:09,160
Obviously, identity meant
something to her,
257
00:17:09,160 --> 00:17:09,600
because of the song.
258
00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:13,640
It was not only,
I feel, talking about
259
00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:15,640
women within rock music,
260
00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:17,840
it was also talking about
261
00:17:17,840 --> 00:17:20,440
how many black women did you see
262
00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:24,200
on the front covers
of fashion magazines?
263
00:17:25,360 --> 00:17:26,840
It was, in a way I guess,
264
00:17:26,840 --> 00:17:29,880
up to us to carve
our own identities.
265
00:17:31,480 --> 00:17:34,240
She was a woman of colour,
working within an industry
266
00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:38,040
full of white middle-class men
that had it all their own way.
267
00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:41,560
It's really important
that people get that.
268
00:17:47,440 --> 00:17:50,400
When you're mixed-race,
it's hard not to feel like
269
00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:52,840
an outsider looking in
half the time.
270
00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:56,680
You often feel like
you don't belong anywhere.
271
00:17:57,600 --> 00:18:00,080
But that can be liberating, too.
272
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,840
I think my mum
got to the point where she said,
273
00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:05,640
"I'm gonna carve out
274
00:18:05,640 --> 00:18:07,600
a place in
the world for myself."
275
00:18:08,360 --> 00:18:10,640
And you know what?
She did.
276
00:18:11,680 --> 00:18:13,520
The daily papers and the media
277
00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:14,960
refer to you
as a bit of a rebel.
278
00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:19,640
Um, do you think you're a rebel
in today's society?
279
00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:23,600
I mean, yeah,
I suppose I am a bit really.
280
00:18:38,560 --> 00:18:40,960
I am a poseur
And I don't care
281
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:43,680
I like to make people stare
282
00:18:43,680 --> 00:18:45,960
I am a poseur
And I don't care
283
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:48,440
I like to make people stare
284
00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:50,200
Back then,
285
00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:52,200
it was fairly unusual
286
00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:53,320
to be bi-racial.
287
00:18:54,440 --> 00:18:56,720
In a way,
we were embraced by punk
288
00:18:56,720 --> 00:19:00,080
and we were part of punk
because it was full of people
289
00:19:00,120 --> 00:19:01,640
who nobody else wanted.
290
00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:05,480
We were welcome because
we were already outsiders.
291
00:19:07,360 --> 00:19:10,000
I first saw Poly
at World's End.
292
00:19:10,920 --> 00:19:11,760
She had a little stall there.
293
00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:14,560
This was just
on the very, very edge
294
00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:16,120
of punk beginning, actually.
295
00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:18,360
And she was sitting there
wearing...
296
00:19:18,360 --> 00:19:21,400
I think it was lime-green
and orange plastic clothes,
297
00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:24,120
and just looking really naughty.
298
00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:26,560
It was to do
299
00:19:26,560 --> 00:19:27,760
with the teenager
300
00:19:27,760 --> 00:19:29,560
and how brilliant we were.
301
00:19:29,560 --> 00:19:32,360
You know, just putting on
your dad's sweater
302
00:19:32,360 --> 00:19:33,760
and, you know,
some black tights
303
00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:36,240
and running out
down the street and stuff.
304
00:19:36,280 --> 00:19:39,280
You know, it was something else.
305
00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:42,160
Even though
306
00:19:42,160 --> 00:19:43,440
she was certainly part
307
00:19:43,440 --> 00:19:45,440
of the punk explosion and scene,
308
00:19:45,440 --> 00:19:47,280
she had a very distinct look
309
00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:49,000
that was very individual to her.
310
00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:51,200
Her home-made clothes,
311
00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:53,760
making your own records,
having your own shop,
312
00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:55,800
doing it yourself,
313
00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:58,960
I think that
social-political thing of DIY
314
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:01,040
did inform a lot of punk
and post-punk.
315
00:20:02,320 --> 00:20:05,160
But the way Poly did it
was kind of unique.
316
00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:11,040
My mum was obsessed
with fashion.
317
00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:14,320
She wrote songs
critiquing consumerism,
318
00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:17,880
but she was
the ultimate shopaholic.
319
00:20:19,040 --> 00:20:21,800
I pretty much hated
everything she wore
320
00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:24,600
and felt embarrassed
to walk down the street with her
321
00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:25,840
most of the time.
322
00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:28,640
Especially when she forced me
323
00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:30,800
into ridiculous outfits too,
324
00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:32,800
like the matching
mother and daughter
325
00:20:32,800 --> 00:20:35,720
Laura Ashley phase she got into.
326
00:20:36,760 --> 00:20:38,480
She liked nothing more
327
00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:40,120
than traipsing around
the West End.
328
00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:42,280
"Let's go window shopping,"
329
00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:43,480
she'd say,
330
00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:44,280
and I would groan.
331
00:20:45,480 --> 00:20:47,480
I couldn't think
of anything more boring
332
00:20:47,520 --> 00:20:49,280
than walking around
department stores.
333
00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:54,520
It was almost as boring
as sitting in a recording studio
334
00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:58,320
or sitting in a restaurant
while she was being interviewed.
335
00:20:59,240 --> 00:21:01,480
What an ungrateful brat I was!
336
00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:08,400
Clothes are never really you.
337
00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:10,040
That's why people wear them.
338
00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:14,080
'Cos you can just create
an image with clothes,
339
00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:16,160
they're just part of a façade.
340
00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:20,680
Which is good fun
to play with sometimes.
341
00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:29,200
By the time I was born,
342
00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:32,440
Mum had left her punk phase
far behind her.
343
00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:35,280
She always said
344
00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:37,280
she never even
considered herself a punk,
345
00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:42,040
that it was just a label,
coined by journalists.
346
00:21:42,840 --> 00:21:45,120
At the same time, she recognised
347
00:21:45,120 --> 00:21:47,240
that the scene
was the perfect vehicle
348
00:21:47,280 --> 00:21:50,280
for her own
creative transformation.
349
00:21:51,680 --> 00:21:55,760
She placed an ad
in the "Melody Maker" in 1976.
350
00:21:56,920 --> 00:22:01,280
It said, "Young Punks
Who Want to Stick it Together."
351
00:22:02,760 --> 00:22:04,960
She auditioned the band members,
352
00:22:04,960 --> 00:22:07,600
and X-Ray Spex was born.
353
00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:11,880
When she opened the door,
354
00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:13,600
it was incredible.
355
00:22:13,640 --> 00:22:16,280
She had this lovely,
beautiful smile on her face.
356
00:22:17,600 --> 00:22:19,040
And when I saw her,
357
00:22:19,040 --> 00:22:20,320
I just felt like
I'd always known her.
358
00:22:21,520 --> 00:22:24,360
There's definitely some
previous life connection there,
359
00:22:25,320 --> 00:22:27,040
some soul connection.
360
00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:31,720
I sat down with them
and there was Jak
361
00:22:31,720 --> 00:22:33,400
playing guitar and Poly singing,
362
00:22:33,400 --> 00:22:36,320
and they sang some songs
and said, "Join in."
363
00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:40,360
They gave me a cassette,
I took it home,
364
00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:42,200
they rang me up and said,
"Would you like to join?
365
00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:44,080
We've got a gig
Saturday at the Roxy."
366
00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:47,840
Yeah, I just came in
367
00:22:47,840 --> 00:22:49,400
and the outcome
was for anyone to hear me play.
368
00:22:50,640 --> 00:22:53,120
I didn't play very much.
He just was very quick.
369
00:22:53,720 --> 00:22:55,280
Two girls together,
370
00:22:55,280 --> 00:22:57,480
it's gonna be lucrative.
371
00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:04,320
Falcon Stuart
was my mum's manager.
372
00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:07,520
He was also her first love.
373
00:23:08,960 --> 00:23:12,200
She used to speak about him
all the time when I was a kid.
374
00:23:13,080 --> 00:23:16,400
Sometimes she'd say
he was the love of her life,
375
00:23:17,080 --> 00:23:20,040
other times,
that he'd ruined it.
376
00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:24,840
It wasn't exactly a secret
377
00:23:24,840 --> 00:23:27,280
but actually,
I wasn't quite sure
378
00:23:27,320 --> 00:23:29,040
what the relationship was
with Falcon.
379
00:23:29,040 --> 00:23:30,680
But it became
increasingly apparent
380
00:23:30,720 --> 00:23:32,240
that they were
in a relationship,
381
00:23:33,440 --> 00:23:35,520
and obviously
he was a lot older than her,
382
00:23:35,520 --> 00:23:37,280
and was managing the band.
383
00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:40,200
He was a bit like her patron,
384
00:23:40,240 --> 00:23:43,880
in a Renaissance sense,
more than a manager.
385
00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:48,160
Do you live in a basement flat
in his house?
386
00:23:49,240 --> 00:23:51,800
-Yeah, why?
-I was just asking.
387
00:23:51,800 --> 00:23:54,840
I'm not trying to imply
you're having an affair
or anything.
388
00:23:54,840 --> 00:23:56,480
No, I'm not saying that you are.
389
00:23:56,480 --> 00:23:58,560
I just wondered if, what the...
390
00:23:59,440 --> 00:24:01,040
What the significance of it was?
391
00:24:01,080 --> 00:24:03,960
I think, well... It's like...
392
00:24:04,880 --> 00:24:06,520
well, there he can
look after you,
393
00:24:06,520 --> 00:24:08,080
so it's like a patriarch deal.
394
00:24:08,840 --> 00:24:10,040
Do you know what I mean?
395
00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:13,000
Oh, well, no, not really.
396
00:24:14,040 --> 00:24:15,720
Shall we go inside?
397
00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:18,440
He seemed to be
mesmerised by her.
398
00:24:19,040 --> 00:24:20,520
She was different.
399
00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:23,160
She wasn't the norm,
she was different.
400
00:24:24,080 --> 00:24:26,080
Definitely
I think he saw potential.
401
00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:28,000
He saw it
from the very beginning.
402
00:24:29,880 --> 00:24:32,240
I kind of had
a soft spot for Falcon.
403
00:24:32,280 --> 00:24:35,280
I think he genuinely
cared for Marianne.
404
00:24:36,040 --> 00:24:37,880
But it wasn't a relationship
405
00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:41,400
which could sustain
itself in a healthy way,
406
00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:43,680
because it wasn't built
on a healthy way.
407
00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:50,520
Every romance she had
ended in tears.
408
00:24:52,160 --> 00:24:55,080
She longed
to be loved so very much,
409
00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:58,600
but she could never
sustain a relationship
410
00:24:58,600 --> 00:25:00,040
longer than a few years.
411
00:25:07,480 --> 00:25:09,360
"The infamous Roxy Club
412
00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:12,440
in Neal Street,
Covent Garden, London WC1.
413
00:25:13,640 --> 00:25:16,560
X-Ray Spex manager
Falcon Stuart and I
414
00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:18,440
drop in to check out the talent.
415
00:25:19,120 --> 00:25:21,080
Names that scream out.
416
00:25:21,120 --> 00:25:23,200
Billy Idol and Generation X,
417
00:25:23,200 --> 00:25:25,120
The Buzzcocks,
Siouxsie and the Banshees,
418
00:25:25,120 --> 00:25:27,080
Captain Sensible and The Damned,
419
00:25:27,080 --> 00:25:29,360
Johnny Moped and Chrissie Hynde.
420
00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:32,040
Poly Styrene and X-Ray Spex
421
00:25:32,080 --> 00:25:33,520
are booked
for the following week."
422
00:25:40,480 --> 00:25:42,880
I'd never even been to a gig,
and by chance
423
00:25:42,880 --> 00:25:44,480
and by great
good fortune and luck,
424
00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:47,040
the first gig I ever went to
was X-Ray Spex.
425
00:25:47,560 --> 00:25:49,400
I think it was 60p to get in,
426
00:25:49,440 --> 00:25:51,720
went downstairs, waited,
expecting a tiny, dirty hall,
427
00:25:51,720 --> 00:25:52,800
nothing much going on.
428
00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:54,520
And then Poly Styrene came out
429
00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:57,160
and it was... everything
changed for me right then.
430
00:25:57,200 --> 00:25:59,560
I fell in love with her,
I fell in love with the band,
431
00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:02,880
I fell in love with the music,
I fell in love with the idea.
432
00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:09,600
To see my sister on that stage,
433
00:26:09,600 --> 00:26:12,840
and the energy and the power
434
00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:14,480
and the expression...
435
00:26:15,560 --> 00:26:17,640
She just
was incredible to watch.
436
00:26:21,040 --> 00:26:23,480
But her words are important
as well, aren't they?
437
00:26:24,160 --> 00:26:25,480
If only for the titles,
438
00:26:25,520 --> 00:26:28,160
even if you don't
hear all the words.
439
00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:30,600
The titles are all very...
440
00:26:33,400 --> 00:26:35,200
Trash really.
441
00:26:38,200 --> 00:26:41,200
Her day consisted
of writing, largely,
442
00:26:41,760 --> 00:26:44,080
and she'd write with a biro
443
00:26:44,080 --> 00:26:46,400
on bits of paper
or in little books.
444
00:26:47,280 --> 00:26:48,840
And sometimes she'd say,
445
00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:51,440
"What do you think of this?
What do you think of this idea?"
446
00:26:52,880 --> 00:26:56,120
I mean, nobody else was really
singing so much about
447
00:26:56,840 --> 00:26:58,680
what Poly was singing about.
448
00:26:59,800 --> 00:27:01,720
It was either about being funny
449
00:27:01,720 --> 00:27:04,360
or being kind of pseudo angry,
450
00:27:05,080 --> 00:27:06,720
or making some kind of
451
00:27:06,760 --> 00:27:09,560
artful points about
the banality of daily life,
452
00:27:09,560 --> 00:27:12,120
which had its own
weird excitement to it.
453
00:27:14,240 --> 00:27:16,760
Some of my earliest
memories of Mum
454
00:27:16,760 --> 00:27:19,320
are of her sitting
at her little typewriter,
455
00:27:20,280 --> 00:27:23,400
totally absorbed
in whatever she was writing.
456
00:27:24,760 --> 00:27:26,160
There was rarely a moment
457
00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:28,680
when she wasn't
working on a new song.
458
00:27:29,680 --> 00:27:32,600
Sometimes
I felt jealous of her music.
459
00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:37,600
Her songwriting robbed me
of the attention I craved.
460
00:27:39,440 --> 00:27:41,400
My grandmother
would tell Mum off
461
00:27:41,440 --> 00:27:44,240
for leaving me
to my own devices.
462
00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:49,000
She'd come over
and find me half-dressed
463
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:51,560
with unbrushed hair,
causing chaos,
464
00:27:52,720 --> 00:27:54,840
drawing on
the walls with crayons,
465
00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:58,360
while Mum was lost
in her own world.
466
00:27:59,480 --> 00:28:02,680
Creative people don't always
make the best parents,
467
00:28:04,040 --> 00:28:07,640
and she certainly
neglected my needs at times.
468
00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:15,160
Little girls should be
seen and not heard.
469
00:28:15,200 --> 00:28:20,200
Oh bondage, up yours!
One, two, three, four!
470
00:28:23,360 --> 00:28:25,440
"I read a book
by William Wright,
471
00:28:25,480 --> 00:28:27,240
and discovered
a newfound sense of freedom.
472
00:28:29,080 --> 00:28:32,520
Images of the Suffragettes
chained to the railings
of Buckingham Palace
473
00:28:32,560 --> 00:28:34,600
shot across
my photographic memory.
474
00:28:35,720 --> 00:28:38,280
A faded dream
of Bowie's 'Suffragette City',
475
00:28:38,320 --> 00:28:41,240
'Wham, bam, thank you, ma'am'
ringing in my ears.
476
00:28:42,480 --> 00:28:44,600
Pictures of ball and chained
African slaves
477
00:28:44,600 --> 00:28:48,800
were stored in my psyche,
in sepia of course.
478
00:28:49,560 --> 00:28:52,080
I replayed
the biblical epic 'Moses'
479
00:28:52,120 --> 00:28:53,680
on the screen in my head.
480
00:28:55,040 --> 00:28:58,240
The story of the bondage
of the Israelites in Egypt.
481
00:28:59,320 --> 00:29:01,560
I had an innate desire
to be free.
482
00:29:02,520 --> 00:29:05,240
To be free from unwanted desires
483
00:29:05,640 --> 00:29:06,680
seemed desirable."
484
00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:11,320
Bind me, tie me
Chain me to the wall
485
00:29:11,360 --> 00:29:14,040
I wanna be
A slave to you all
486
00:29:14,080 --> 00:29:17,040
Oh bondage, up yours!
487
00:29:17,040 --> 00:29:20,520
Oh bondage, no more!
488
00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:24,600
Chain-store chain-smoke
I consume you all
489
00:29:24,640 --> 00:29:27,560
Chain-gang chain-mail
I don't think at all
490
00:29:27,600 --> 00:29:30,360
Oh bondage, up yours!
491
00:29:30,360 --> 00:29:35,080
Oh bondage, no more!
492
00:29:35,080 --> 00:29:37,280
Now recording-wise,
you've got a single out
493
00:29:37,280 --> 00:29:39,200
called "Oh Bondage Up Yours!".
494
00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:42,280
Now that has struck
a bit of trouble
as far as airplay is concerned.
495
00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:45,120
-True?
-Yeah, well...
496
00:29:45,120 --> 00:29:47,320
I expected that, really.
497
00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:50,520
A lot of men in the media
498
00:29:50,560 --> 00:29:53,640
didn't want women
to step into that place,
499
00:29:54,400 --> 00:29:55,800
to be given more power
500
00:29:55,800 --> 00:29:58,000
and more say
and more visibility.
501
00:29:59,600 --> 00:30:02,120
Everybody always talks about
"Oh Bondage Up Yours!"
502
00:30:02,120 --> 00:30:04,440
because in a way,
just that sound
503
00:30:04,440 --> 00:30:07,640
cuts through
a sort of glass ceiling
504
00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:11,440
of what women singers
could do with their voice.
505
00:30:12,600 --> 00:30:14,440
It was like a clarion call,
506
00:30:14,440 --> 00:30:17,080
and it was the way she sang,
507
00:30:17,120 --> 00:30:18,880
it was so urgent,
508
00:30:18,920 --> 00:30:21,040
and it was like a call to arms.
509
00:30:22,040 --> 00:30:24,320
It was like,
"I am so fed up!"
510
00:30:26,040 --> 00:30:29,200
"The journalist
Lucy Toothpaste asked,
511
00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:30,760
'Are you liberated?'
512
00:30:31,280 --> 00:30:32,720
'Are you referring
513
00:30:32,760 --> 00:30:34,480
to "Oh Bondage Up Yours!"',
I asked.
514
00:30:35,760 --> 00:30:39,280
Lucy replied, 'Well, yes.
Is it about women's liberation?'
515
00:30:39,800 --> 00:30:41,640
'Yes and no,' I replied."
516
00:30:42,840 --> 00:30:45,040
I was just talking about
all forms of bondage.
517
00:30:45,080 --> 00:30:46,880
You know,
repression, everything else.
518
00:30:46,880 --> 00:30:49,880
Sexual bondage stems from that,
so it's all part
of the same thing.
519
00:30:49,920 --> 00:30:51,880
It all depends
which way you interpret it.
520
00:30:51,920 --> 00:30:54,080
So it's much to do
with sexual bondage?
521
00:30:54,080 --> 00:30:55,200
Yeah, it's to do
with all bondage.
522
00:30:56,480 --> 00:30:58,480
And it's bondage
because it hasn't been played,
523
00:30:58,480 --> 00:31:01,080
that proves it as well,
hat is bondage in itself.
524
00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:05,000
I think a lot of people assume
525
00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:07,000
my mum was a staunch feminist,
526
00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:09,320
because of "Oh Bondage",
527
00:31:10,040 --> 00:31:11,800
because of the way she subverted
528
00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:14,080
conventional
ideas of femininity.
529
00:31:15,320 --> 00:31:17,880
But I don't think
she felt any allegiance
530
00:31:17,880 --> 00:31:20,840
to a particular
political position or stance.
531
00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:23,480
She wasn't ideological.
532
00:31:24,480 --> 00:31:27,320
She was an observer
rather than a critic.
533
00:31:28,840 --> 00:31:32,440
There was even a part of her
that longed to be a wife,
534
00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:34,680
a stay-at-home mum.
535
00:31:35,480 --> 00:31:37,560
She often complained about that,
536
00:31:38,200 --> 00:31:38,920
that she had to work,
537
00:31:40,040 --> 00:31:41,520
to be a breadwinner
and a mother.
538
00:31:42,880 --> 00:31:46,040
She secretly wished
she could be a lady of leisure.
539
00:31:50,520 --> 00:31:53,880
We didn't use the word feminist
very much at the beginning.
540
00:31:54,720 --> 00:31:56,840
I was never afraid of the word.
541
00:31:56,880 --> 00:31:59,560
But people
had their preconceptions,
542
00:31:59,560 --> 00:32:02,880
and when somebody asks you,
"Are you this,"
543
00:32:02,880 --> 00:32:06,720
and you know that you are
your version of that,
544
00:32:06,720 --> 00:32:09,880
but you're not the version
of the person who's asking.
545
00:32:11,880 --> 00:32:13,400
It's always very difficult,
546
00:32:13,400 --> 00:32:15,000
and particularly for women
547
00:32:15,040 --> 00:32:16,400
to make music
548
00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:19,400
that has any
social commentary to it,
549
00:32:19,400 --> 00:32:21,200
without it appearing,
550
00:32:21,200 --> 00:32:23,040
particularly if you're black,
551
00:32:23,040 --> 00:32:25,640
that you're the archetypal
young, angry, black female.
552
00:32:27,200 --> 00:32:28,920
Poly had her own ideas
about everything.
553
00:32:28,920 --> 00:32:30,400
She didn't follow fashion,
554
00:32:30,400 --> 00:32:32,280
she didn't follow trends.
555
00:32:32,280 --> 00:32:34,200
And so, I think the idea of
556
00:32:34,240 --> 00:32:38,760
anybody telling women what to do
when it came to their rights
557
00:32:38,760 --> 00:32:40,840
was something
that she would oppose.
558
00:32:42,440 --> 00:32:44,240
She talked about
people treating each other
559
00:32:44,240 --> 00:32:45,480
like they were commodities,
560
00:32:46,320 --> 00:32:48,120
not just women
being objectified,
561
00:32:48,120 --> 00:32:50,760
but all different kinds
of people being objectified.
562
00:32:51,760 --> 00:32:53,440
And also not just,
"I'm the victim
563
00:32:53,480 --> 00:32:55,240
and everybody's
taking advantage of me,"
564
00:32:55,280 --> 00:32:56,800
but writing in this way of like,
565
00:32:56,840 --> 00:32:59,520
"I live off you
and you live off of me."
566
00:33:00,240 --> 00:33:02,160
"And we're like, both doing it."
567
00:33:03,360 --> 00:33:05,000
That's something that
568
00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:07,720
as a feminist artist
is incredibly important.
569
00:33:09,600 --> 00:33:13,680
And I think these ideas
were so far ahead of their time.
570
00:33:16,800 --> 00:33:18,360
Good evening,
it's "Top of the Pops".
571
00:33:18,400 --> 00:33:20,120
and we're gonna make you
feel like dancing.
572
00:33:20,120 --> 00:33:21,480
Here's the chart rundown.
573
00:33:36,800 --> 00:33:39,440
-Okay, you're going.
-Alright, what are you gonna do
574
00:33:39,440 --> 00:33:41,320
when we get rich, Jak?
575
00:33:41,320 --> 00:33:44,640
Well, I wanna buy a bubble car
576
00:33:45,320 --> 00:33:46,920
and a little house...
577
00:33:47,760 --> 00:33:50,080
And, uh... have a harem.
578
00:33:50,120 --> 00:33:51,760
A harem, woah!
579
00:33:52,480 --> 00:33:53,920
Do you think X-Ray Spex
580
00:33:53,920 --> 00:33:56,440
is gonna be bigger
than The Beatles?
581
00:33:56,440 --> 00:33:59,240
-Um, yeah.
-Yeah. Oh, good.
582
00:33:59,240 --> 00:34:02,280
-Positive.
-Good, good.
583
00:34:04,520 --> 00:34:08,280
We tried to be different.
We had saxophones.
584
00:34:08,280 --> 00:34:09,080
We had a female singer.
585
00:34:10,520 --> 00:34:13,200
And Poly's voice, she could
blow them out of the water.
586
00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:17,040
I mean, did you ever think
587
00:34:17,040 --> 00:34:21,120
that you would
be able to walk out on stage
and send an entire club
588
00:34:21,120 --> 00:34:22,440
off their brains?
589
00:34:22,440 --> 00:34:23,840
No, I don't think like that.
590
00:34:23,840 --> 00:34:25,240
All going all around the place?
591
00:34:26,640 --> 00:34:27,640
Richard Branson
of Virgin Records
592
00:34:27,640 --> 00:34:29,480
wanted to sign X-Ray Spex.
593
00:34:29,480 --> 00:34:31,000
And he was really, really keen.
594
00:34:31,800 --> 00:34:33,200
But we went to EMI.
595
00:34:37,600 --> 00:34:39,240
The first time I can remember
596
00:34:39,280 --> 00:34:40,560
that I was aware of her
597
00:34:40,600 --> 00:34:42,040
was seeing her
on "Top of the Pops".
598
00:34:43,120 --> 00:34:45,760
It wouldn't really
even have occurred to me,
599
00:34:45,800 --> 00:34:47,200
at the time,
600
00:34:47,200 --> 00:34:49,200
that she was part
of the punk movement.
601
00:34:49,200 --> 00:34:51,560
But there were things about her
602
00:34:51,560 --> 00:34:54,240
that I thought
was the very best of punk.
603
00:34:59,760 --> 00:35:01,480
I can definitely remember
604
00:35:01,480 --> 00:35:02,880
what happened to me
605
00:35:02,880 --> 00:35:05,680
the first time
I heard Poly's voice.
606
00:35:06,400 --> 00:35:09,840
It was like an awakening for me.
607
00:35:10,680 --> 00:35:12,040
There were a lot of men around,
608
00:35:13,400 --> 00:35:16,000
but obviously being a woman,
and being a young woman,
609
00:35:17,160 --> 00:35:20,120
and I think Poly
being a woman of color
610
00:35:20,160 --> 00:35:21,360
on that scene,
611
00:35:21,360 --> 00:35:22,600
was another reason
why she became
612
00:35:22,600 --> 00:35:24,120
a huge role model for me.
613
00:35:25,280 --> 00:35:27,720
And I actually started singing
because of her,
614
00:35:28,400 --> 00:35:29,160
to be perfectly honest.
615
00:35:30,400 --> 00:35:32,000
I was Tinkerbell
616
00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:35,680
And you were Peter Pan
617
00:35:41,600 --> 00:35:43,840
In the '80s, when I was little,
618
00:35:44,440 --> 00:35:46,240
Poly Styrene was still
619
00:35:46,240 --> 00:35:48,080
a pretty fresh memory
in the pop world.
620
00:35:49,440 --> 00:35:52,200
and people would sometimes
stop my mum in the street
621
00:35:52,200 --> 00:35:54,560
to tell her how much
they loved her.
622
00:35:56,080 --> 00:35:58,840
It didn't really faze me,
to be honest.
623
00:35:59,240 --> 00:36:00,880
It's all I knew.
624
00:36:02,360 --> 00:36:04,200
Her reactions would vary
625
00:36:04,240 --> 00:36:06,680
according to whatever
mood she was in.
626
00:36:07,760 --> 00:36:11,240
She used to joke
that being famous but broke
627
00:36:11,240 --> 00:36:13,800
was the worst of both worlds.
628
00:36:15,080 --> 00:36:18,240
She had all the attention
that comes with fame,
629
00:36:18,280 --> 00:36:21,840
but lacked the means
to protect herself from it.
630
00:36:25,120 --> 00:36:26,560
Seeing Poly on "Top of the Pops"
631
00:36:26,560 --> 00:36:27,840
with braces on her teeth,
632
00:36:28,440 --> 00:36:29,760
just kind of laughing
633
00:36:29,760 --> 00:36:32,520
and being a normal human being,
634
00:36:32,560 --> 00:36:33,760
it was a really, really
635
00:36:33,760 --> 00:36:35,160
powerful statement.
636
00:36:36,280 --> 00:36:38,200
You could see
she'd made an effort,
637
00:36:38,200 --> 00:36:41,440
but she hadn't made that sort of
Twiggy and Clodagh Rodgers,
638
00:36:41,440 --> 00:36:42,560
soft, floaty...
639
00:36:43,200 --> 00:36:44,600
She just wasn't floaty
640
00:36:44,600 --> 00:36:46,400
and that was
just such a bloody relief!
641
00:36:48,240 --> 00:36:50,080
For the regular pop charts,
642
00:36:50,080 --> 00:36:51,240
we were supposed to all
look like Joni Mitchell.
643
00:36:52,400 --> 00:36:56,280
Poly was funny looking,
with her braces and...
644
00:36:57,040 --> 00:36:59,720
her unsmooth hair
645
00:36:59,720 --> 00:37:03,160
and her very futuristic style.
646
00:37:05,040 --> 00:37:07,400
I remember
when the album came out,
647
00:37:07,400 --> 00:37:09,120
she was really annoyed
648
00:37:09,160 --> 00:37:11,320
because the record company
had slimmed her image down
649
00:37:11,360 --> 00:37:13,040
on the front of the album cover,
650
00:37:13,040 --> 00:37:16,760
and BP's as well.
And she was really angry
651
00:37:16,760 --> 00:37:19,120
that somebody
had manipulated her image.
652
00:37:20,240 --> 00:37:22,320
"Why couldn't they
just put me on as I was?"
653
00:37:24,760 --> 00:37:26,440
Do you dress
to make people laugh,
654
00:37:26,440 --> 00:37:28,200
or to make them think?
655
00:37:29,840 --> 00:37:31,600
I mean, when you
put something on,
656
00:37:31,600 --> 00:37:32,760
do you think the idea is
657
00:37:32,800 --> 00:37:35,320
to make people
laugh with you, or...
658
00:37:36,560 --> 00:37:38,720
Somebody said to me that your...
659
00:37:38,720 --> 00:37:40,200
you know, your teeth braces,
660
00:37:40,200 --> 00:37:42,400
somebody said it was
just a device, you know?
661
00:37:42,400 --> 00:37:43,360
-No.
-A stage prop.
662
00:37:44,400 --> 00:37:45,800
-It can't come off.
-Can't it?
663
00:37:45,840 --> 00:37:47,680
No, not yet, anyway.
664
00:37:47,680 --> 00:37:50,240
-Is it screwed in?
-No, it's cemented on.
665
00:37:51,680 --> 00:37:53,240
Then again, with those braces
on her teeth,
666
00:37:53,280 --> 00:37:55,760
Poly Styrene
is hardly Linda Ronstadt.
667
00:38:01,720 --> 00:38:03,400
When Mum was young,
668
00:38:03,440 --> 00:38:06,000
she was pretty confident
about the way she looked.
669
00:38:07,120 --> 00:38:09,760
She'd never
been short of admirers.
670
00:38:10,480 --> 00:38:13,600
But the experience
of being famous
671
00:38:13,600 --> 00:38:15,120
made her insecure.
672
00:38:16,400 --> 00:38:18,760
The public scrutiny
over the way she looked
673
00:38:18,800 --> 00:38:20,840
started to grate on her.
674
00:38:22,400 --> 00:38:25,520
She felt like journalists
were celebrating her
675
00:38:25,560 --> 00:38:30,720
by insinuating that she was
unattractive and overweight,
676
00:38:31,560 --> 00:38:32,960
totally not getting
677
00:38:32,960 --> 00:38:35,320
what she
was trying to achieve by
678
00:38:35,320 --> 00:38:40,280
choosing not to over-expose
her voluptuous form on stage.
679
00:38:44,200 --> 00:38:46,520
I don't want to become
totally self-indulgent,
680
00:38:46,560 --> 00:38:49,760
because I write things
that other people can relate to.
681
00:38:51,000 --> 00:38:53,240
If I get totally into myself,
I won't be able to do that.
682
00:38:54,600 --> 00:38:57,440
What I write will just become
a reflection of me,
683
00:38:57,440 --> 00:38:59,920
instead of a reflection
of everything else.
684
00:39:01,200 --> 00:39:03,240
For some people that works,
but it's not what I'm about.
685
00:39:04,680 --> 00:39:07,240
I don't personally want to
indulge in my own fantasy,
686
00:39:08,040 --> 00:39:09,600
my own self-image.
687
00:39:17,160 --> 00:39:18,760
People make difficulties
688
00:39:18,800 --> 00:39:21,160
within the entertainment
industry.
689
00:39:21,800 --> 00:39:23,760
Certainly,
they make difficulties
690
00:39:23,760 --> 00:39:26,200
for young women of colour,
691
00:39:27,200 --> 00:39:29,120
there's absolutely
no doubt about that.
692
00:39:30,160 --> 00:39:31,760
Young women of any ethnicity,
693
00:39:31,760 --> 00:39:33,800
I think,
find it quite difficult.
694
00:39:37,400 --> 00:39:39,560
I think she needed time off.
695
00:39:39,600 --> 00:39:40,880
She needed,
696
00:39:40,880 --> 00:39:43,320
she definitely
needed respite periods,
697
00:39:43,320 --> 00:39:46,600
and as everybody knows
in the music business
and when you're setting up,
698
00:39:46,600 --> 00:39:48,000
it's go, go, go, go,
699
00:39:48,000 --> 00:39:50,560
and I think that
was totally destructive for her,
700
00:39:50,600 --> 00:39:52,040
it really was.
701
00:40:09,280 --> 00:40:11,400
"My God, our name and fame
702
00:40:11,400 --> 00:40:14,080
is spread all over
the three worlds.
703
00:40:15,320 --> 00:40:18,400
'We will be famous
just for one day.'
704
00:40:18,440 --> 00:40:19,880
David Bowie.
705
00:40:22,400 --> 00:40:25,200
'Everybody will be famous
for 15 minutes.'
706
00:40:25,200 --> 00:40:26,880
Andy Warhol.
707
00:40:28,640 --> 00:40:30,920
'I am a cliché.'
708
00:40:31,520 --> 00:40:33,240
Poly Styrene."
709
00:40:37,240 --> 00:40:40,520
This one is called
"Let's Submerge".
710
00:40:53,520 --> 00:40:56,640
It's dark and eerie
And it's really late
711
00:40:56,640 --> 00:40:58,840
Come on, kids
Don't hesitate
712
00:40:58,840 --> 00:41:01,880
We're going down
713
00:41:01,880 --> 00:41:04,160
To the underground
714
00:41:04,880 --> 00:41:07,800
We're going down
715
00:41:07,800 --> 00:41:09,840
We're going down
716
00:41:09,840 --> 00:41:12,520
To the underground
717
00:41:14,040 --> 00:41:16,880
X-Ray Spex were
one of the first wave
718
00:41:16,880 --> 00:41:18,800
of punk bands from London
719
00:41:18,800 --> 00:41:20,160
to come to New York.
720
00:41:21,240 --> 00:41:23,920
In New York, punk rock
was a new sort of
721
00:41:23,920 --> 00:41:25,520
youth culture division
that was happening,
722
00:41:27,240 --> 00:41:30,600
like investigating this more
sort of nihilist attitude,
723
00:41:30,600 --> 00:41:33,080
with the fallout of hippie
and the fallout of Vietnam,
724
00:41:34,240 --> 00:41:37,080
and this kind of
failed Utopian ideal.
725
00:41:39,160 --> 00:41:41,080
We went for a residency
in New York
726
00:41:41,080 --> 00:41:43,120
at a venue called CBGB's.
727
00:41:44,680 --> 00:41:48,040
CBGB's was like
a stinky toilet of a place.
728
00:41:48,760 --> 00:41:52,400
It was grungy
and ghastly and stinky.
729
00:41:54,080 --> 00:41:57,040
It's dark and eerie
And it's really late
730
00:41:57,040 --> 00:41:59,520
Come on, kids
Don't hesitate
731
00:41:59,520 --> 00:42:02,160
We're going down
732
00:42:02,160 --> 00:42:05,120
To the underground
733
00:42:05,120 --> 00:42:08,000
We're going down
734
00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:10,520
We're going down
735
00:42:10,520 --> 00:42:13,920
To the underground
736
00:42:15,720 --> 00:42:18,520
Everybody below 14th Street,
New York
737
00:42:18,520 --> 00:42:19,600
was at that gig.
738
00:42:20,800 --> 00:42:22,120
'Cos everybody
would talk about it
739
00:42:22,120 --> 00:42:23,640
throughout the summer.
740
00:42:28,800 --> 00:42:30,240
I can see now
741
00:42:30,240 --> 00:42:33,520
Paul Weller, The Jam,
and Debbie Harry,
742
00:42:33,520 --> 00:42:34,680
sitting in the front row,
743
00:42:34,680 --> 00:42:36,240
cheering us on.
744
00:42:39,120 --> 00:42:42,040
Who the fuck are you?
Who the fuck is this?
745
00:42:44,160 --> 00:42:47,680
Oh bondage, up yours!
746
00:42:51,520 --> 00:42:53,400
What was so exciting
about it was that
747
00:42:53,440 --> 00:42:55,880
when they did
"Oh Bondage Up Yours!",
748
00:42:55,880 --> 00:42:57,680
Poly would hand me
the microphone
749
00:42:57,680 --> 00:42:59,560
to sing "Up yours".
750
00:43:00,680 --> 00:43:04,280
It was somewhat
as if I was being knighted.
751
00:43:05,000 --> 00:43:06,280
That was wonderful.
752
00:43:18,840 --> 00:43:20,840
When we were in New York
753
00:43:20,840 --> 00:43:22,200
we did two gigs a night.
754
00:43:22,880 --> 00:43:26,120
In between times,
we went drinking,
755
00:43:27,040 --> 00:43:28,320
went to parties,
756
00:43:29,040 --> 00:43:30,320
or met women.
757
00:43:31,320 --> 00:43:34,240
All kinds of things happened.
758
00:43:35,120 --> 00:43:36,560
It was totally
different to London.
759
00:43:37,720 --> 00:43:39,240
Everything was open
the whole time.
760
00:43:40,000 --> 00:43:42,240
Now it seems, "Well, so what?"
761
00:43:42,760 --> 00:43:44,320
But at the time, that was new.
762
00:43:45,200 --> 00:43:47,160
Put on the TV,
had tons of channels.
763
00:43:47,160 --> 00:43:48,240
We only had three at home.
764
00:43:49,440 --> 00:43:52,160
In New York,
this is like the future.
765
00:43:53,080 --> 00:43:55,000
Oh, is this "Tomorrow's World",
you think?
766
00:43:55,040 --> 00:43:56,600
I don't know what program it is.
767
00:44:03,280 --> 00:44:04,480
Unlike our grandparents,
768
00:44:04,480 --> 00:44:06,280
we live in a world that we made.
769
00:44:07,280 --> 00:44:10,440
We are crammed
like battery hens with stimuli.
770
00:44:11,440 --> 00:44:13,280
Capitalism, plus electronics,
771
00:44:13,280 --> 00:44:15,240
gave us a new habitat.
772
00:44:15,680 --> 00:44:16,640
Our forest of media.
773
00:44:18,640 --> 00:44:20,680
For the first time ever, save $5
774
00:44:20,680 --> 00:44:23,440
on our original, realistic
pocket weather radio.
775
00:44:23,440 --> 00:44:25,560
Now on sale
at Radio Shack stores,
776
00:44:25,600 --> 00:44:26,840
only $10.95.
777
00:44:26,840 --> 00:44:28,320
Rain or shine,
778
00:44:28,320 --> 00:44:30,600
the exclusive, realistic
pocket weather radio.
779
00:44:30,640 --> 00:44:32,800
And there's only one place
you can find it.
780
00:44:32,800 --> 00:44:35,720
It wasn't a conscious
attempt to be clever.
781
00:44:35,720 --> 00:44:37,200
I just thought that
782
00:44:37,200 --> 00:44:39,480
I'd write about
all these plastic things
783
00:44:39,520 --> 00:44:41,480
because they seemed to be
creeping in more and more,
784
00:44:42,720 --> 00:44:46,320
which is why New York
totally blew me apart.
785
00:44:46,320 --> 00:44:49,480
You'll look so pretty
and have such fun.
786
00:44:52,120 --> 00:44:55,200
I saw everything that
I'd been writing about
787
00:44:55,200 --> 00:44:57,240
in extreme, but for real.
788
00:44:58,160 --> 00:45:01,640
For them it wasn't a joke,
it was the way they lived.
789
00:45:02,240 --> 00:45:04,280
For me, it was all a joke.
790
00:45:05,280 --> 00:45:07,560
Play with it,
indulge it, have fun with it,
791
00:45:07,560 --> 00:45:10,880
because there's not really
that much of it over here.
792
00:45:12,280 --> 00:45:14,720
But when you go there,
it's so bad that you think,
793
00:45:14,720 --> 00:45:16,800
"God, if that's
what it's gonna be like,
794
00:45:16,840 --> 00:45:18,200
I don't want it."
795
00:45:20,600 --> 00:45:22,520
The weird thing
about all the plastic
796
00:45:22,520 --> 00:45:24,800
is that people
don't actually like it.
797
00:45:25,720 --> 00:45:26,520
But in order to cope with it,
798
00:45:27,720 --> 00:45:30,920
they develop a perverse
kind of fondness for it,
799
00:45:31,720 --> 00:45:33,240
which is what I did.
800
00:45:34,720 --> 00:45:36,600
I said,
801
00:45:36,600 --> 00:45:39,440
"Oh, aren't they beautiful
because they're so horrible."
802
00:45:40,640 --> 00:45:43,320
It's very perverse
and I realise that, and...
803
00:45:44,240 --> 00:45:45,760
that was what was so frightening
804
00:45:45,800 --> 00:45:47,160
about New York.
805
00:45:51,680 --> 00:45:54,440
New York was
the start of something,
806
00:45:55,720 --> 00:45:58,640
a new feeling
she couldn't quite shake.
807
00:46:02,120 --> 00:46:05,760
She started to question
everything around her.
808
00:46:07,200 --> 00:46:09,440
Was any of it real?
809
00:46:12,000 --> 00:46:14,360
I think the consumerism side
of New York
810
00:46:14,400 --> 00:46:16,920
and the advertising
and the bright lights
811
00:46:16,960 --> 00:46:18,880
and dazzling lights everywhere,
812
00:46:18,880 --> 00:46:20,680
that did destabilize Poly
813
00:46:20,680 --> 00:46:23,480
and affect the way
she was writing songs.
814
00:46:24,800 --> 00:46:27,360
-Are you gonna change,
do you think?
-I dunno really.
815
00:46:27,400 --> 00:46:29,840
I mean, we're just changing
already a bit, you know.
816
00:46:29,840 --> 00:46:32,400
Just in the sort of...
You know, just the songs.
817
00:46:32,400 --> 00:46:34,040
It's just the way
everything else
818
00:46:34,040 --> 00:46:37,360
reflects everything else,
and you're just part of it.
819
00:46:37,400 --> 00:46:39,600
So the music
reflects what you feel,
820
00:46:39,600 --> 00:46:42,400
and also it reflects
what's happening around you.
821
00:46:45,040 --> 00:46:48,280
The further she went down
the rabbit hole of fame
822
00:46:48,320 --> 00:46:52,040
and all the excess
that goes with that lifestyle,
823
00:46:53,200 --> 00:46:54,640
the more absorbed she became
824
00:46:54,680 --> 00:46:57,240
in the dystopian futurism
of the world
825
00:46:57,240 --> 00:46:59,560
she was creating
through her lyrics.
826
00:47:02,320 --> 00:47:05,360
I think the artifice
and insincerity
827
00:47:05,360 --> 00:47:08,080
she was surrounded by
in the music industry
828
00:47:08,080 --> 00:47:09,760
influenced her.
829
00:47:11,400 --> 00:47:14,360
It influenced
her imagining of a plastic,
830
00:47:14,360 --> 00:47:16,480
synthetic universe,
831
00:47:17,240 --> 00:47:20,280
where the natural world
has retreated,
832
00:47:21,400 --> 00:47:25,480
the final triumph
of everything that's fake.
833
00:47:29,160 --> 00:47:30,480
"I muse over the future
834
00:47:30,480 --> 00:47:31,840
and all it may bring.
835
00:47:33,640 --> 00:47:36,400
I open Pandora's box of hope.
836
00:47:37,880 --> 00:47:40,160
I envision a time
in the distant future
837
00:47:40,160 --> 00:47:41,920
when synthetics rule.
838
00:47:43,600 --> 00:47:44,760
The downside:
839
00:47:46,040 --> 00:47:48,520
Humankind destroy
the natural environment.
840
00:47:49,640 --> 00:47:51,000
The upside:
841
00:47:52,320 --> 00:47:55,040
Burgers will be cruelty-free,
veggie rubber buns."
842
00:48:01,840 --> 00:48:05,120
I clambered over
Mounds and mounds
843
00:48:05,120 --> 00:48:08,200
Of polystyrene foam
844
00:48:08,200 --> 00:48:11,560
Then fell into
A swimming pool
845
00:48:11,560 --> 00:48:13,760
Filled with fairy snow
846
00:48:13,760 --> 00:48:15,440
And watched the world
847
00:48:15,480 --> 00:48:18,440
Turn Day-Glo
You know, you know
848
00:48:18,480 --> 00:48:22,720
The world turned Day-Glo
You know
849
00:48:31,040 --> 00:48:34,400
I wrenched
The nylon curtains back
850
00:48:34,440 --> 00:48:37,720
As far as they would go
851
00:48:37,720 --> 00:48:41,040
Then peered through
Perspex window panes
852
00:48:41,040 --> 00:48:43,000
At the acrylic road
853
00:48:43,000 --> 00:48:46,560
And watched the world
Turn Day-Glo
854
00:48:46,560 --> 00:48:48,400
You know, you know
855
00:48:48,400 --> 00:48:52,880
The world turned Day-Glo
You know
856
00:48:54,400 --> 00:48:56,000
Uh-oh
857
00:48:57,800 --> 00:49:00,120
I think she was aware
858
00:49:00,120 --> 00:49:03,040
of how society was changing
859
00:49:03,040 --> 00:49:04,840
into a very consumerist society,
860
00:49:05,960 --> 00:49:09,080
and probably
coming a lot from America.
861
00:49:10,120 --> 00:49:11,760
She saw into the future.
862
00:49:13,560 --> 00:49:15,960
She felt the world
was a monolithic,
863
00:49:15,960 --> 00:49:17,360
cruel place,
864
00:49:17,360 --> 00:49:18,560
and why can't it be
a nice place?
865
00:49:19,960 --> 00:49:20,960
All those songs, "Art-I-Ficial",
866
00:49:22,400 --> 00:49:24,440
"Highly Inflammable",
"Genetic Engineering",
867
00:49:24,440 --> 00:49:27,080
all these songs were progression
from the early stuff,
868
00:49:27,080 --> 00:49:30,200
which was about relationships
and about herself.
869
00:49:31,560 --> 00:49:33,480
The consumer society
was there in front of her eyes.
870
00:49:42,240 --> 00:49:45,160
The whole CBGB's experience
871
00:49:45,160 --> 00:49:47,600
changed my mum as a person.
872
00:49:49,000 --> 00:49:51,880
She was exposed
to the city's seedy underbelly.
873
00:49:53,280 --> 00:49:57,000
And she lost whatever
innocence she still had left.
874
00:50:00,600 --> 00:50:03,600
She told me that she
was given something to smoke
875
00:50:03,600 --> 00:50:05,720
at a party there one night,
876
00:50:07,120 --> 00:50:09,240
and it tipped her over the edge.
877
00:50:11,400 --> 00:50:14,120
Now she'd also lost her mind.
878
00:50:17,400 --> 00:50:20,000
There was what you might
call a darkness
879
00:50:20,000 --> 00:50:21,400
to the New York scene
880
00:50:21,400 --> 00:50:24,480
that was very different
from the British scene.
881
00:50:26,080 --> 00:50:27,960
It was much more accepting
882
00:50:28,000 --> 00:50:30,640
of heavy drug use.
883
00:50:32,280 --> 00:50:34,800
Disco candy was everywhere.
884
00:50:35,640 --> 00:50:37,720
Hip people took coke in America.
885
00:50:39,040 --> 00:50:42,120
It just turned people
into demons.
886
00:50:44,560 --> 00:50:47,480
And Poly was that sensitive,
887
00:50:47,480 --> 00:50:49,280
that no doubt
888
00:50:49,320 --> 00:50:51,760
she picked up
on that negative energy.
889
00:50:57,360 --> 00:50:58,720
I went to New York.
890
00:50:59,360 --> 00:51:01,280
It really turned my head.
891
00:51:02,240 --> 00:51:03,640
All that attention,
892
00:51:03,640 --> 00:51:05,600
they treat you
like you're really different.
893
00:51:06,600 --> 00:51:09,240
It got to me.
I was worn out and doing drugs
894
00:51:09,280 --> 00:51:10,800
and I was smoking a lot.
895
00:51:12,040 --> 00:51:15,240
People were all around
telling me how wonderful I was.
896
00:51:16,400 --> 00:51:19,680
I didn't start to
exactly believe it,
897
00:51:19,680 --> 00:51:22,240
but I started to get
very insecure.
898
00:51:27,000 --> 00:51:29,120
-Goodnight.
-Give us a kiss.
899
00:51:47,080 --> 00:51:49,360
She didn't like
that environment,
900
00:51:49,360 --> 00:51:51,120
she didn't like
"Top of the Pops".
901
00:51:51,120 --> 00:51:53,280
She didn't like mixing around
all those kind of people.
902
00:51:54,360 --> 00:51:56,560
She felt they were
very superficial
903
00:51:56,560 --> 00:51:59,080
and very not genuine.
904
00:52:00,520 --> 00:52:02,560
I remember her coming off stage
905
00:52:02,560 --> 00:52:04,600
and totally collapsing
906
00:52:04,640 --> 00:52:06,440
and crying her eyes out,
907
00:52:06,480 --> 00:52:08,360
as if she totally forced herself
908
00:52:08,400 --> 00:52:09,920
to go on stage
in the first place.
909
00:52:10,600 --> 00:52:12,600
And I could see she wasn't well,
910
00:52:12,600 --> 00:52:14,200
she wasn't okay.
911
00:52:16,240 --> 00:52:18,280
I mean,
it isn't normal for people
912
00:52:18,280 --> 00:52:22,680
to be surrounded with people...
telling them that they're great.
913
00:52:22,680 --> 00:52:25,680
That isn't a normal situation,
most people do not get that.
914
00:52:25,720 --> 00:52:28,080
It isn't normal to be...
915
00:52:28,120 --> 00:52:31,720
up on stage and people
jumping all over you
and ripping your clothes off,
916
00:52:31,720 --> 00:52:34,040
that isn't a normal thing
for anybody to take.
917
00:52:35,440 --> 00:52:38,000
And then you get people
coming backstage as well,
918
00:52:38,000 --> 00:52:39,680
you get people
coming to your house,
919
00:52:39,680 --> 00:52:41,960
and then you get people
trying to break in,
920
00:52:42,000 --> 00:52:44,800
and then you just get people
surrounding you all the time.
921
00:52:44,800 --> 00:52:46,760
And you just
are never on your own,
922
00:52:46,760 --> 00:52:49,240
and that's just not normal.
923
00:52:49,240 --> 00:52:51,680
So therefore, you just say,
"Go away,
I don't want to see anybody."
924
00:53:00,080 --> 00:53:01,720
The thing with Poly
925
00:53:01,720 --> 00:53:03,240
is that she was
926
00:53:03,240 --> 00:53:05,480
at the same time very resilient
927
00:53:05,520 --> 00:53:07,600
and yet very vulnerable.
928
00:53:08,640 --> 00:53:12,400
Especially being so much
in the vanguard,
929
00:53:12,400 --> 00:53:17,400
her immediate support system
of people who really got her
930
00:53:17,400 --> 00:53:20,280
was not that large.
931
00:53:22,400 --> 00:53:24,800
We read every week
in the music trade papers
932
00:53:24,800 --> 00:53:26,520
the exploits of, say,
933
00:53:26,520 --> 00:53:28,200
The Sex Pistols
and Johnny Rotten.
934
00:53:28,240 --> 00:53:31,360
Are you a follower
of The Sex Pistols yourself?
935
00:53:31,400 --> 00:53:33,360
I mean, I like The Sex Pistols.
936
00:53:33,400 --> 00:53:34,800
Yeah, I like them.
937
00:53:34,800 --> 00:53:38,440
'Cos they're sort of
part of our generation, really.
938
00:53:46,280 --> 00:53:48,800
John Lydon,
who she really liked a lot,
939
00:53:48,800 --> 00:53:51,320
and obviously got a lot
of her inspiration from,
940
00:53:52,360 --> 00:53:53,800
was living 'round the corner
941
00:53:53,840 --> 00:53:55,640
at Gunter Grove at this point.
942
00:53:56,720 --> 00:53:59,520
We used to see him,
sometimes, riding along,
943
00:53:59,520 --> 00:54:01,320
we'd stop and say hello.
944
00:54:02,840 --> 00:54:05,600
She was kind of infatuated,
945
00:54:05,600 --> 00:54:10,120
or at least had a crush
of some sort on John Lydon.
946
00:54:11,240 --> 00:54:14,360
But she felt
not taken seriously by him
947
00:54:14,360 --> 00:54:15,560
and the rest of them.
948
00:54:18,560 --> 00:54:20,440
Apparently, Sid Vicious
had locked her in a cupboard
949
00:54:20,480 --> 00:54:21,400
under the stairs.
950
00:54:22,400 --> 00:54:23,800
She asked where the loo was
951
00:54:23,800 --> 00:54:25,680
and he tricked her
into going into this cupboard,
952
00:54:25,680 --> 00:54:27,360
slammed the door
and locked her in
for about an hour.
953
00:54:28,600 --> 00:54:30,920
Yeah, she was really,
really upset by that.
954
00:54:32,320 --> 00:54:34,680
They were lads,
they were laddiest,
955
00:54:35,320 --> 00:54:38,400
unthinking, mean things.
956
00:54:38,400 --> 00:54:40,080
Undercutting things,
957
00:54:40,080 --> 00:54:43,280
things designed
to make you feel like nothing.
958
00:54:43,280 --> 00:54:45,200
Like, worse than nothing.
959
00:54:45,240 --> 00:54:47,280
As if they
had no regard for you.
960
00:54:48,600 --> 00:54:53,920
That was the sort of milieu
that Poly encountered,
961
00:54:54,480 --> 00:54:56,320
that encouraged her
962
00:54:56,320 --> 00:54:59,320
to go into the toilet
at John's house.
963
00:55:02,240 --> 00:55:04,040
I was 'round
at Johnny Rotten's place
964
00:55:04,080 --> 00:55:06,240
and Poly turned up at the door.
965
00:55:06,240 --> 00:55:08,680
Which was a brave thing,
'cos you go
around to John's place,
966
00:55:08,680 --> 00:55:10,720
it's like baptism by fire.
967
00:55:11,880 --> 00:55:13,760
I remember
she was sitting there
968
00:55:13,760 --> 00:55:15,360
and not really saying much.
969
00:55:15,400 --> 00:55:18,600
And we were shooting the breeze
and being typical lads
970
00:55:18,600 --> 00:55:19,880
and sort of ignoring her.
971
00:55:21,160 --> 00:55:22,760
And at some point
during the conversation,
972
00:55:22,800 --> 00:55:24,400
during the night,
973
00:55:24,400 --> 00:55:25,800
she'd got up
and went into the bathroom.
974
00:55:27,880 --> 00:55:30,800
And no one
thought anything of it.
975
00:55:43,440 --> 00:55:46,800
And then I guess we
were talking for a while
976
00:55:46,800 --> 00:55:48,440
and not realized she'd been gone
977
00:55:48,480 --> 00:55:50,080
for like, half an hour.
978
00:55:51,400 --> 00:55:53,680
And then we heard
the bathroom door open
979
00:55:53,680 --> 00:55:55,200
and we looked up,
980
00:55:55,240 --> 00:55:56,320
and she started to
walk down the stairs...
981
00:56:05,000 --> 00:56:07,000
And she'd cut all her hair off.
982
00:56:17,480 --> 00:56:20,840
I'll be honest with you,
we were totally insensitive
to the moment.
983
00:56:30,400 --> 00:56:33,960
The thing is, she had
a gig coming up.
984
00:56:34,000 --> 00:56:35,840
What do you do?
She'd got a gig coming up,
985
00:56:35,880 --> 00:56:38,400
at Victoria Park, massive gig.
986
00:56:40,480 --> 00:56:43,400
The National Front
is a Nazi front!
987
00:56:46,440 --> 00:56:48,800
We played
at Rock Against Racism,
988
00:56:48,800 --> 00:56:50,880
along with Tom Robinson Band,
989
00:56:50,880 --> 00:56:53,120
The Clash, Sham 69.
990
00:56:54,440 --> 00:56:56,040
There were 80,000 people there.
991
00:56:56,600 --> 00:56:59,440
That was a really huge gig.
992
00:57:01,240 --> 00:57:03,840
If you were ever
at one of those events,
993
00:57:03,840 --> 00:57:06,680
like the big events
in Victoria Park,
994
00:57:06,680 --> 00:57:08,560
it made one feel that
995
00:57:08,560 --> 00:57:10,760
one was part of a positive army
996
00:57:10,760 --> 00:57:13,160
of like-minded people.
You felt so empowered.
997
00:57:14,280 --> 00:57:16,520
You really felt
that this generation
998
00:57:16,560 --> 00:57:22,000
had made racism and
fascism laughable and passé.
999
00:57:24,560 --> 00:57:26,240
When we were driving
to the venue,
1000
00:57:26,280 --> 00:57:28,360
and Poly was wearing
a woollen scarf
1001
00:57:28,360 --> 00:57:30,240
wrapped around her head,
and she said,
1002
00:57:30,240 --> 00:57:31,840
"Oh, I shaved
my head last night."
1003
00:57:31,840 --> 00:57:33,480
And Falcon said,
1004
00:57:33,480 --> 00:57:35,440
"Well, you bloody well
do not take that scarf off
1005
00:57:35,440 --> 00:57:36,520
while you're performing."
1006
00:57:37,600 --> 00:57:39,680
And she winked
and said, "Oh no, I won't."
1007
00:57:41,840 --> 00:57:43,400
Halfway through
the song "Identity",
1008
00:57:44,800 --> 00:57:48,160
she was going "Identity..."
and she started to unravel it.
1009
00:57:49,080 --> 00:57:50,640
She did it in a kind of
1010
00:57:50,640 --> 00:57:52,480
seductive, teasing manner.
1011
00:57:52,480 --> 00:57:55,360
She started hovering her hand
around the top of her head
1012
00:57:55,400 --> 00:57:57,160
and taking
bits of it off like that.
1013
00:57:58,600 --> 00:58:01,720
By the time she got to the end
there was gasps at the front
1014
00:58:01,720 --> 00:58:04,080
of the audience,
going "Oh my God..."
1015
00:58:04,080 --> 00:58:06,600
"Skinhead!"
1016
00:58:15,160 --> 00:58:16,800
Falcon was going mad about it.
1017
00:58:16,800 --> 00:58:18,240
We all laughed our heads off.
1018
00:58:19,360 --> 00:58:21,560
She said she didn't
want to be a sex symbol.
1019
00:58:21,600 --> 00:58:24,480
And she'd said
if she ever thought
she was turning into one,
1020
00:58:24,480 --> 00:58:25,640
she'd shave her hair off.
1021
00:58:25,680 --> 00:58:27,080
And that's what she did.
1022
00:58:35,360 --> 00:58:37,000
She wasn't the first woman
1023
00:58:37,000 --> 00:58:39,480
to shave her head
in an act of defiance,
1024
00:58:40,680 --> 00:58:43,520
and she certainly
wouldn't be the last.
1025
00:58:46,720 --> 00:58:48,720
It was a powerful statement,
1026
00:58:49,600 --> 00:58:52,000
but it was also a cry for help.
1027
00:58:53,720 --> 00:58:56,040
She really needed a break.
1028
00:58:57,000 --> 00:58:58,840
There was so much
pressure on her
1029
00:58:58,840 --> 00:59:00,480
to keep doing it.
1030
00:59:01,800 --> 00:59:04,040
Something had to give.
1031
00:59:10,800 --> 00:59:14,040
The moment
that changed me forever
1032
00:59:14,920 --> 00:59:17,120
was seeing a Day-Glo UFO
1033
00:59:17,160 --> 00:59:20,040
in Doncaster one night
after a concert.
1034
00:59:22,000 --> 00:59:24,560
It was a bright ball
of luminous pink,
1035
00:59:24,600 --> 00:59:26,680
made of energy, like a fireball.
1036
00:59:29,040 --> 00:59:31,240
Everyone else thought
I'd lost the plot.
1037
00:59:34,480 --> 00:59:37,480
It was the last leg
of their tour.
1038
00:59:38,760 --> 00:59:41,360
She'd gone up
to her hotel room after the gig.
1039
00:59:41,360 --> 00:59:42,600
And she said all of a sudden,
1040
00:59:43,760 --> 00:59:46,880
she saw this bright light
in the sky,
1041
00:59:46,880 --> 00:59:48,600
in the night sky, that...
1042
00:59:49,640 --> 00:59:50,720
didn't appear to be a star.
1043
00:59:51,560 --> 00:59:52,760
It seemed to be moving,
1044
00:59:52,760 --> 00:59:53,480
getting bigger and bigger,
1045
00:59:54,720 --> 00:59:56,240
and what's more,
it was coming towards her.
1046
00:59:57,400 --> 00:59:59,360
And it zoomed
right up to the window
1047
00:59:59,400 --> 01:00:00,600
and seemed to be
probing the room,
1048
01:00:01,800 --> 01:00:04,800
hovering there,
taking it all in,
1049
01:00:04,800 --> 01:00:06,800
and she's sat there,
like, frozen.
1050
01:00:11,200 --> 01:00:13,440
She'd said at breakfast time
the next day,
1051
01:00:13,480 --> 01:00:15,240
"Oh, I saw
a flying saucer outside.
1052
01:00:15,240 --> 01:00:16,960
It's told me to give up
1053
01:00:17,000 --> 01:00:18,520
the electric
and plastic way of life."
1054
01:00:19,200 --> 01:00:20,520
"Go for a simple life."
1055
01:00:21,600 --> 01:00:23,560
We said,
"What are you on about?"
1056
01:00:25,000 --> 01:00:26,680
Took no notice,
got in the car.
1057
01:00:26,680 --> 01:00:29,440
And in the car, she started
taking her clothes off,
1058
01:00:29,440 --> 01:00:31,080
saying,
"I want to go back,
1059
01:00:31,080 --> 01:00:33,560
I want to be Marianne,
I want to go back."
1060
01:00:38,640 --> 01:00:40,840
She was a very,
very sensitive person.
1061
01:00:41,920 --> 01:00:44,680
And she
was almost like a sponge.
1062
01:00:46,080 --> 01:00:48,640
She would absorb
1063
01:00:48,680 --> 01:00:50,880
lots of things
which were going around her,
1064
01:00:51,680 --> 01:00:53,480
for better or for worse.
1065
01:00:56,320 --> 01:00:59,160
When you put somebody
which is so hyper-sensitive
1066
01:00:59,160 --> 01:01:01,560
and so open and so intelligent,
1067
01:01:01,560 --> 01:01:03,680
and then you put them
in this environment
1068
01:01:03,720 --> 01:01:07,200
where there's
all this different mix of people
1069
01:01:07,200 --> 01:01:09,520
wanting different things,
1070
01:01:09,520 --> 01:01:12,320
'cos, you know,
she was a commodity as well...
1071
01:01:14,600 --> 01:01:17,640
it wasn't a conducive place
for her to be
1072
01:01:17,680 --> 01:01:19,080
for who she was.
1073
01:01:24,080 --> 01:01:26,240
I mean, she was telling me
when she was even younger,
1074
01:01:26,280 --> 01:01:28,720
when she was
like three years old,
1075
01:01:28,720 --> 01:01:31,640
she thought that, you know,
she'd met some people
from outer space.
1076
01:01:33,320 --> 01:01:35,280
She was such a high being.
1077
01:01:35,280 --> 01:01:37,480
A very high, spiritual being,
1078
01:01:38,160 --> 01:01:40,520
even when she
went off the rockers.
1079
01:01:43,040 --> 01:01:45,160
I mean, I remember
when we were walking through
1080
01:01:45,160 --> 01:01:47,400
Kensington Gardens
one afternoon.
1081
01:01:47,840 --> 01:01:50,160
She saw these crows.
1082
01:01:51,080 --> 01:01:52,440
You know,
she says that they're...
1083
01:01:53,440 --> 01:01:54,840
Like the Vikings used to say
1084
01:01:54,840 --> 01:01:56,200
they were the eyes of Odin,
1085
01:01:56,720 --> 01:01:58,120
and all that.
1086
01:01:58,120 --> 01:01:59,880
She said, "Watch them,
they're watching us."
1087
01:02:04,840 --> 01:02:08,240
People started saying
she'd lost the plot,
1088
01:02:08,840 --> 01:02:10,400
that she'd gone mad.
1089
01:02:11,800 --> 01:02:14,200
But she didn't see it that way.
1090
01:02:16,640 --> 01:02:19,080
She felt that
she was going through
1091
01:02:19,080 --> 01:02:22,240
some kind
of spiritual awakening.
1092
01:02:22,760 --> 01:02:24,680
That she could see things
1093
01:02:24,680 --> 01:02:27,840
that others
were too blind to see.
1094
01:02:34,840 --> 01:02:37,360
My mother thought
I was hallucinating,
1095
01:02:37,360 --> 01:02:39,720
and I was put in the Maudsley.
1096
01:02:40,640 --> 01:02:43,200
'Cos if you see things
and hear voices,
1097
01:02:43,200 --> 01:02:45,360
you are considered
to have schizophrenia.
1098
01:02:52,080 --> 01:02:55,560
The first time she saw herself
singing on the telly,
1099
01:02:56,480 --> 01:02:58,840
she was on a psychiatric ward.
1100
01:03:01,080 --> 01:03:03,280
Men in white coats
carted her away
1101
01:03:03,320 --> 01:03:05,200
after an episode.
1102
01:03:07,360 --> 01:03:09,600
There were lots of episodes.
1103
01:03:10,280 --> 01:03:12,400
One worse than the other.
1104
01:03:15,240 --> 01:03:18,680
She was misdiagnosed
with schizophrenia
1105
01:03:20,120 --> 01:03:25,240
when in fact she was suffering
from acute bipolar disorder.
1106
01:03:33,080 --> 01:03:36,560
It felt like a bad omen.
1107
01:03:37,720 --> 01:03:40,280
Like I was
doing something wrong.
1108
01:03:41,040 --> 01:03:42,880
Misguiding people.
1109
01:03:45,840 --> 01:03:47,280
I was dealing with a lot,
1110
01:03:47,280 --> 01:03:49,040
and then to be given
a label like that,
1111
01:03:50,080 --> 01:03:52,400
only to find out later
that I wasn't,
1112
01:03:52,440 --> 01:03:55,560
and that they had got it wrong,
was really difficult.
1113
01:03:58,760 --> 01:04:00,360
They said to me,
1114
01:04:01,640 --> 01:04:03,640
"You're a young girl
who has got out of her depth
1115
01:04:03,680 --> 01:04:06,600
and you will never
be able to work again."
1116
01:04:09,040 --> 01:04:12,320
That is a very hard thing
to be told at 21.
1117
01:04:17,720 --> 01:04:19,400
I'm sorry I didn't treat
her very good.
1118
01:04:19,400 --> 01:04:21,720
I wasn't really
sympathetic at the time.
1119
01:04:22,800 --> 01:04:25,880
I was worried,
but mainly for my own self.
1120
01:04:26,800 --> 01:04:28,000
Selfish.
1121
01:04:35,680 --> 01:04:37,480
The only thing
that really worked
1122
01:04:37,480 --> 01:04:40,680
were the drugs they gave her
when she was sectioned.
1123
01:04:42,520 --> 01:04:45,000
They would pin her down
and inject her
1124
01:04:45,000 --> 01:04:46,320
with tranquillisers
1125
01:04:46,320 --> 01:04:48,080
strong enough
to knock a horse out.
1126
01:04:50,800 --> 01:04:54,320
I saw my mum
being sedated many times.
1127
01:04:55,800 --> 01:04:58,000
I must have been
about four years old
1128
01:04:58,000 --> 01:05:00,640
when I realised
something wasn't right.
1129
01:05:03,040 --> 01:05:07,480
Suddenly I was able to detect
the changes in her mood,
1130
01:05:08,560 --> 01:05:12,320
the constant cycle
of elation and despair.
1131
01:05:16,040 --> 01:05:17,720
I'll never forget those nights
1132
01:05:17,760 --> 01:05:21,960
when the sensation
that someone was watching me
1133
01:05:22,000 --> 01:05:26,000
was so strong
that I'd wake up in a panic,
1134
01:05:27,360 --> 01:05:30,600
only to see her shadow
at the foot of my bed.
1135
01:05:32,840 --> 01:05:35,200
She'd stand
in the corner of my room
1136
01:05:35,200 --> 01:05:37,400
watching me as I slept...
1137
01:05:39,280 --> 01:05:41,680
her eyes wide with fear.
1138
01:05:44,040 --> 01:05:45,920
I was scared too,
1139
01:05:47,080 --> 01:05:48,880
scared of her.
1140
01:06:06,040 --> 01:06:09,080
I know your antiseptic
1141
01:06:09,080 --> 01:06:13,000
Your deodorant smells nice
1142
01:06:13,000 --> 01:06:15,200
The show must go on,
they said.
1143
01:06:16,240 --> 01:06:18,080
So, she tried to
keep it together.
1144
01:06:19,040 --> 01:06:21,520
Keep singing, keep performing.
1145
01:06:22,800 --> 01:06:24,880
The medication
helped for a period,
1146
01:06:26,000 --> 01:06:28,080
but she was starting
to push back
1147
01:06:28,080 --> 01:06:29,440
against the pressure.
1148
01:06:29,480 --> 01:06:32,400
to keep up the façade
of Poly Styrene.
1149
01:06:37,000 --> 01:06:39,600
I'm like an actress
that's something else.
1150
01:06:39,600 --> 01:06:41,240
On stage I'm one thing
1151
01:06:41,240 --> 01:06:43,000
and off stage
I'm something else.
1152
01:06:44,000 --> 01:06:45,800
But most people are not.
1153
01:06:47,800 --> 01:06:50,240
I just consider myself
as a person first,
1154
01:06:50,280 --> 01:06:51,840
and anything else,
1155
01:06:51,840 --> 01:06:53,880
what anybody else
might call you, well,
1156
01:06:55,080 --> 01:06:56,760
they're just names,
really, aren't they?
1157
01:06:56,800 --> 01:07:00,320
Just given to trends and people
1158
01:07:00,320 --> 01:07:01,680
and things like that.
1159
01:07:23,480 --> 01:07:24,840
I think a lot of people thought,
1160
01:07:24,840 --> 01:07:26,840
"Oh, Poly Styrene's gone mad."
1161
01:07:28,360 --> 01:07:29,800
She had a brilliant band,
1162
01:07:30,440 --> 01:07:31,200
she had all the success,
1163
01:07:32,360 --> 01:07:34,840
and suddenly
just walked away from it.
1164
01:07:40,600 --> 01:07:42,960
It took an incredible
amount of strength
1165
01:07:43,000 --> 01:07:46,000
for my mum to walk away
from X-Ray Spex,
1166
01:07:47,480 --> 01:07:50,200
the band she herself
had put together,
1167
01:07:51,280 --> 01:07:53,520
the band that was doing so well.
1168
01:07:54,600 --> 01:07:57,160
They were at the height
of their success.
1169
01:07:59,480 --> 01:08:01,520
I think she understood that
1170
01:08:01,520 --> 01:08:04,440
the only way she could
continue to exist
1171
01:08:04,480 --> 01:08:06,280
as an authentic person,
1172
01:08:07,360 --> 01:08:10,040
as someone
who was true to herself,
1173
01:08:10,800 --> 01:08:14,040
was to kill the persona
she'd created.
1174
01:08:16,240 --> 01:08:18,600
Poly Styrene had to die
1175
01:08:18,600 --> 01:08:21,600
so Marianne Elliott
could survive.
1176
01:08:41,400 --> 01:08:43,120
"Read Time magazine
1177
01:08:43,120 --> 01:08:45,720
over continental breakfast
in the south of France.
1178
01:08:47,000 --> 01:08:50,280
Genetic possibilities
filled glossy pages.
1179
01:08:53,600 --> 01:08:56,280
On a golden stretch
of sand in Cannes,
1180
01:08:56,280 --> 01:08:57,760
I worshipped the sun god,
1181
01:08:58,720 --> 01:09:01,880
in a sunshine yellow
towelling bikini."
1182
01:09:04,840 --> 01:09:06,440
When I'd met her,
1183
01:09:06,480 --> 01:09:08,400
she'd been
in a convalescence place
1184
01:09:08,400 --> 01:09:10,800
to get over the traumas.
1185
01:09:13,080 --> 01:09:15,760
I was staying in a flat,
just off the King's Road,
1186
01:09:17,280 --> 01:09:20,760
and one night, we walked past
this quite flashy designer shop.
1187
01:09:21,960 --> 01:09:24,120
And she was outside,
looking in the window.
1188
01:09:25,400 --> 01:09:30,440
She was dressed in
a sort of '50s-type flared skirt
1189
01:09:30,480 --> 01:09:33,200
and hair sort of
straightened and long
1190
01:09:33,200 --> 01:09:34,320
and white stilettos.
1191
01:09:36,240 --> 01:09:38,640
Anyway, I thought,
"I can't let this go."
1192
01:09:38,640 --> 01:09:40,600
So as we were
walking past, I said,
1193
01:09:40,640 --> 01:09:42,280
"Ah, you're Poly,"
1194
01:09:42,280 --> 01:09:44,200
and invited her to come
and have a drink with us.
1195
01:09:53,280 --> 01:09:58,400
All alone
In a tropical garden
1196
01:10:01,240 --> 01:10:07,160
Parakeet trills
Slowly harden
1197
01:10:09,640 --> 01:10:11,720
It was all rather whirlwind.
1198
01:10:12,640 --> 01:10:15,240
They were
inseparable for a time.
1199
01:10:16,400 --> 01:10:19,280
They didn't even tell anyone
when they got married
1200
01:10:19,320 --> 01:10:22,840
at the Chelsea Registry Office
on the King's Road.
1201
01:10:24,240 --> 01:10:26,280
Oh, yeah, we got married.
1202
01:10:26,320 --> 01:10:28,120
We got married in the September,
1203
01:10:28,560 --> 01:10:30,040
we only met in June.
1204
01:10:31,680 --> 01:10:34,600
After, I dunno,
three months of meeting Poly
1205
01:10:34,600 --> 01:10:36,200
she was pregnant.
1206
01:10:37,480 --> 01:10:40,400
Mum was 24 years old
when I was born.
1207
01:10:41,840 --> 01:10:45,760
She told me that having me
was the best thing she ever did.
1208
01:10:46,480 --> 01:10:48,920
But motherhood was a challenge.
1209
01:10:52,080 --> 01:10:54,440
Her mental
health was still fragile
1210
01:10:54,480 --> 01:10:57,880
and there were times
when she couldn't look after me.
1211
01:10:59,840 --> 01:11:03,960
It was hard for my father,
he was so young.
1212
01:11:04,760 --> 01:11:06,880
They were both kids, really.
1213
01:11:08,520 --> 01:11:11,560
I knew that Poly
had been admitted,
1214
01:11:11,600 --> 01:11:13,360
you know,
sectioned and all that.
1215
01:11:14,280 --> 01:11:15,760
I still loved her, though.
1216
01:11:17,040 --> 01:11:18,680
I'm obviously gonna
stick it out no matter what.
1217
01:11:26,440 --> 01:11:27,880
Just as I met her,
1218
01:11:27,920 --> 01:11:30,280
her album was coming out,
Translucence.
1219
01:11:30,640 --> 01:11:32,080
The solo album.
1220
01:11:33,440 --> 01:11:35,440
If you listen to the lyrics,
it's totally different.
1221
01:11:36,720 --> 01:11:39,720
How you make such a jump
from that power pop
1222
01:11:39,720 --> 01:11:43,440
to something almost akin
to Joan Armatrading?
1223
01:11:50,680 --> 01:11:52,040
It seemed like she'd been
1224
01:11:52,080 --> 01:11:53,720
through some kind of trauma.
1225
01:11:54,720 --> 01:11:59,080
And music was her way
of dealing with that.
1226
01:12:03,480 --> 01:12:07,760
For people that have had
bad times in life in some way,
1227
01:12:07,760 --> 01:12:10,800
music can be a way of,
like, healing themselves.
1228
01:12:10,800 --> 01:12:13,480
She was after that
in her own music.
1229
01:12:15,480 --> 01:12:17,680
So, I was there
for all the interviews,
1230
01:12:17,680 --> 01:12:19,800
and, you know,
journalists coming 'round.
1231
01:12:19,800 --> 01:12:21,520
But their reviews
were really damning.
1232
01:12:23,080 --> 01:12:27,040
Like totally. Like,
"What is this bollocks?" almost.
1233
01:12:28,320 --> 01:12:30,800
EMI, dismayed
1234
01:12:30,800 --> 01:12:33,960
at the negative
response from the press,
1235
01:12:34,000 --> 01:12:35,680
said "That's it."
1236
01:12:35,720 --> 01:12:37,680
They obviously had the option
on their side.
1237
01:12:52,680 --> 01:12:54,440
Now it just went
from bad to worse,
1238
01:12:54,440 --> 01:12:55,880
to be honest with you.
1239
01:12:56,840 --> 01:12:57,840
I was on the dole.
1240
01:12:59,240 --> 01:13:01,840
There was mass unemployment
back then, really.
1241
01:13:02,840 --> 01:13:04,360
We ended up at my mum's
1242
01:13:04,960 --> 01:13:06,600
and then her mum's,
1243
01:13:09,200 --> 01:13:11,600
and then,
she'd had enough of it.
1244
01:13:13,000 --> 01:13:14,480
She went off to India.
1245
01:13:15,680 --> 01:13:18,360
And Celeste and I,
we stayed at my mum's.
1246
01:13:20,480 --> 01:13:22,000
I think she really decided then
1247
01:13:22,000 --> 01:13:25,040
she was gonna go head-first
into the Indian scene.
1248
01:13:26,040 --> 01:13:28,880
She started dressing
like proper saris
1249
01:13:28,880 --> 01:13:31,120
and with a dot on the forehead.
1250
01:13:32,480 --> 01:13:34,760
And so she went back to London
1251
01:13:34,800 --> 01:13:37,280
and threw her lot in
with the Hare Krishna.
1252
01:13:38,600 --> 01:13:41,080
And I mean everything,
all her furniture, everything.
1253
01:13:41,800 --> 01:13:43,440
Moved in with them.
1254
01:13:45,840 --> 01:13:48,440
This is Bhaktivedanta Manor
in Hertfordshire,
1255
01:13:48,440 --> 01:13:50,360
European Headquarters
of the Hare Krishna movement.
1256
01:13:51,720 --> 01:13:53,480
George Harrison
bought it for them last year.
1257
01:13:54,800 --> 01:13:57,360
Most of their day
is spent worshipping Krishna
1258
01:13:57,360 --> 01:14:00,040
and learning his philosophy
of perfect consciousness.
1259
01:14:03,720 --> 01:14:05,840
I think it was The Beatles
and George Harrison,
1260
01:14:05,840 --> 01:14:07,440
that's how we got into it.
1261
01:14:08,680 --> 01:14:10,280
She was a hippie, really.
1262
01:14:11,160 --> 01:14:12,520
Too sensitive for the world.
1263
01:14:14,360 --> 01:14:18,000
She needed something to give her
some stability in her life.
1264
01:14:25,240 --> 01:14:26,800
I was a small child
1265
01:14:26,800 --> 01:14:29,080
when we went
to live in the manor.
1266
01:14:30,080 --> 01:14:33,200
I understand
why she wanted us to live there,
1267
01:14:33,800 --> 01:14:35,360
surrounded by nature,
1268
01:14:36,600 --> 01:14:38,960
and full of little
Hare Krishna children
1269
01:14:39,000 --> 01:14:40,480
I could play with.
1270
01:14:41,680 --> 01:14:44,120
She changed her name yet again.
1271
01:14:44,920 --> 01:14:46,320
This time it was a name
1272
01:14:46,320 --> 01:14:49,640
given to her
by her guru, Bhagavan.
1273
01:14:50,720 --> 01:14:52,920
Now she went by Maharani.
1274
01:14:54,080 --> 01:14:58,560
He gave me a name too,
Radha Shakti.
1275
01:15:00,320 --> 01:15:03,760
X-Ray Spex saxophone player
Lora Logic
1276
01:15:03,760 --> 01:15:05,440
joined the Hare Krishna movement
1277
01:15:05,440 --> 01:15:08,040
at around the same time
as my mum.
1278
01:15:09,360 --> 01:15:13,560
They'd fallen out after Mum
cruelly sacked her from the band
1279
01:15:13,560 --> 01:15:15,120
during the Roxy era,
1280
01:15:16,400 --> 01:15:20,720
but they found a common purpose
in Krishna consciousness,
1281
01:15:20,760 --> 01:15:22,680
which brought them
back together.
1282
01:15:24,560 --> 01:15:26,000
I don't think
it was coincidence,
1283
01:15:26,000 --> 01:15:28,080
I think it was highly planned
1284
01:15:28,080 --> 01:15:31,600
by the universal laws,
'cos nothing's an accident.
1285
01:15:32,520 --> 01:15:35,000
But I was a bit surprised.
1286
01:15:36,640 --> 01:15:39,120
We had to relate
on the platform of the fact
1287
01:15:39,120 --> 01:15:41,360
that we were equal spirit souls,
1288
01:15:42,640 --> 01:15:47,080
and a platform where
there's no false ego or pride.
1289
01:15:48,000 --> 01:15:51,240
Yeah, she changed,
she changed a lot.
1290
01:15:53,800 --> 01:15:55,640
I went to
the Hare Krishna temple
1291
01:15:55,640 --> 01:15:57,160
with her a few times,
actually into the temple.
1292
01:15:58,400 --> 01:16:00,040
And she was very different
in the temple.
1293
01:16:00,560 --> 01:16:02,640
She was very hypnotised by it.
1294
01:16:04,600 --> 01:16:07,200
The Hare Krishna kind of
saved her in a sense,
1295
01:16:08,200 --> 01:16:10,600
it gave her
another world to exist in.
1296
01:16:13,840 --> 01:16:15,480
She's fragile, you know,
1297
01:16:15,480 --> 01:16:17,400
and I think they provided
a family for her,
1298
01:16:17,760 --> 01:16:19,240
and a comfort.
1299
01:16:20,560 --> 01:16:22,480
More than punk, than music,
more than being creative,
1300
01:16:22,480 --> 01:16:24,960
the Hare Krishna was
a central pillar of her life,
1301
01:16:24,960 --> 01:16:26,680
and it was
really important to her.
1302
01:16:36,680 --> 01:16:38,440
As hard as she tried,
1303
01:16:38,480 --> 01:16:41,680
my mother couldn't completely
escape her past life.
1304
01:16:44,040 --> 01:16:47,080
Those past traumas
continued to haunt her,
1305
01:16:48,120 --> 01:16:51,040
and she would suffer
a series of nervous breakdowns
1306
01:16:51,040 --> 01:16:53,440
during our time in the temple.
1307
01:16:57,800 --> 01:17:00,120
She was very
mentally unstable then,
1308
01:17:01,040 --> 01:17:02,680
and she looked so disturbed.
1309
01:17:05,960 --> 01:17:08,640
It was probably triggered
by so many things: hormones,
1310
01:17:09,400 --> 01:17:10,840
giving birth,
1311
01:17:10,840 --> 01:17:12,200
and then
the whole new experience
1312
01:17:12,200 --> 01:17:14,120
of living in a temple.
1313
01:17:17,600 --> 01:17:20,120
She used to do some
wacky things in the temple.
1314
01:17:20,760 --> 01:17:22,160
I mean, she'd be, like,
1315
01:17:22,160 --> 01:17:23,720
in the temple room
with no clothes on.
1316
01:17:24,960 --> 01:17:28,640
She'd be chasing
celibate monks around,
1317
01:17:28,640 --> 01:17:30,200
who were in their pyjamas.
1318
01:17:32,200 --> 01:17:33,960
She went to India,
1319
01:17:33,960 --> 01:17:38,240
and she'd have to be
put on a plane and flown home
1320
01:17:38,240 --> 01:17:41,200
because she completely lost it.
1321
01:17:43,600 --> 01:17:46,040
I think a lot of it
was just due to lack of sleep.
1322
01:17:46,080 --> 01:17:47,400
She didn't sleep.
1323
01:17:49,600 --> 01:17:52,200
She didn't know how to
look after herself very well.
1324
01:17:53,440 --> 01:17:55,720
It's like she was
never quite in her body,
1325
01:17:56,680 --> 01:17:59,160
she was always somewhere else.
1326
01:18:00,480 --> 01:18:02,720
It was probably
all too much for her.
1327
01:18:08,680 --> 01:18:11,200
Our heaven had become a hell,
1328
01:18:12,160 --> 01:18:14,520
and it was
about to get much worse.
1329
01:18:17,640 --> 01:18:20,480
We moved into a house
near the temple,
1330
01:18:21,160 --> 01:18:22,640
and my mother eventually
1331
01:18:22,640 --> 01:18:24,400
took me out
of the children's ashram,
1332
01:18:25,800 --> 01:18:29,200
which was a kind of
Hare Krishna boarding school.
1333
01:18:30,840 --> 01:18:32,800
I was truly isolated now.
1334
01:18:34,240 --> 01:18:37,200
She hadn't been able
to leave the house for weeks,
1335
01:18:37,960 --> 01:18:39,480
and my little stomach
1336
01:18:39,520 --> 01:18:41,880
was as empty
as the kitchen cupboards.
1337
01:18:43,800 --> 01:18:47,680
One day I climbed out of
my bedroom window
1338
01:18:48,760 --> 01:18:51,280
and left home
with the social workers.
1339
01:18:53,520 --> 01:18:56,760
The nosy neighbours
were concerned for my welfare.
1340
01:18:58,800 --> 01:18:59,840
I had to leave,
1341
01:19:01,040 --> 01:19:03,440
for the sake
of my own mental health.
1342
01:19:05,160 --> 01:19:07,360
I know it broke her heart.
1343
01:19:08,920 --> 01:19:10,280
I abandoned my mother
1344
01:19:10,320 --> 01:19:12,880
and the world
she had created for me.
1345
01:19:15,600 --> 01:19:18,720
And it had been
a beautiful world, Mataji.
1346
01:19:44,280 --> 01:19:45,800
I was eight years old
1347
01:19:45,800 --> 01:19:47,280
when I went to live
with my grandmother,
1348
01:19:48,240 --> 01:19:51,200
who was eventually
granted custody of me
1349
01:19:51,200 --> 01:19:53,600
after a long
and bitter court case.
1350
01:19:56,320 --> 01:19:58,840
It was clear
Mum had neglected me.
1351
01:20:00,200 --> 01:20:01,680
I was three and a half stone
1352
01:20:01,680 --> 01:20:03,760
when I was removed
from her care.
1353
01:20:05,000 --> 01:20:06,880
I needed years of therapy.
1354
01:20:13,200 --> 01:20:15,000
To say that I was an angry kid
1355
01:20:15,040 --> 01:20:16,760
would be an understatement.
1356
01:20:18,040 --> 01:20:20,920
I told the court
I wanted to live with my nan,
1357
01:20:22,080 --> 01:20:23,360
the ultimate betrayal
1358
01:20:23,360 --> 01:20:25,400
as far as my mother
was concerned.
1359
01:20:32,800 --> 01:20:35,880
Our relationship
was pretty rough for a while,
1360
01:20:37,120 --> 01:20:41,040
lots of shouting,
slammed doors and angry tears.
1361
01:20:44,240 --> 01:20:46,440
She pushed me
down the stairs once,
1362
01:20:47,240 --> 01:20:49,360
and I never let her forget it.
1363
01:20:53,360 --> 01:20:54,720
She wasn't in her right
mind of course,
1364
01:20:56,280 --> 01:20:59,920
but I blamed her for ever
bringing me into this world.
1365
01:21:04,920 --> 01:21:07,880
But time is the greatest
healer, they say.
1366
01:21:09,480 --> 01:21:11,240
And we eventually
1367
01:21:11,240 --> 01:21:13,400
found it in our hearts
to forgive one another.
1368
01:21:17,000 --> 01:21:20,560
She moved to Hastings
in the early 2000s
1369
01:21:21,320 --> 01:21:23,480
and I moved to Madrid,
1370
01:21:25,040 --> 01:21:26,720
but despite,
1371
01:21:26,720 --> 01:21:30,320
or maybe thanks to being
thousands of miles apart,
1372
01:21:31,040 --> 01:21:32,920
we were closer than ever.
1373
01:21:36,240 --> 01:21:38,080
The slow pace of the town
1374
01:21:38,120 --> 01:21:40,040
and the calming effect
of the sea
1375
01:21:41,120 --> 01:21:43,240
restored a kind
of mental balance
1376
01:21:43,240 --> 01:21:45,640
my mother had lost
all those years ago.
1377
01:21:49,040 --> 01:21:51,840
She was refreshed and energised,
1378
01:21:52,520 --> 01:21:55,680
ready to start
creating once more.
1379
01:21:58,520 --> 01:22:01,480
She was even ready
to get on stage,
1380
01:22:02,920 --> 01:22:06,000
something she had sworn
she would never do again.
1381
01:22:56,120 --> 01:23:00,080
How do you feel now?
1382
01:23:00,080 --> 01:23:02,800
I want to know
1383
01:23:03,520 --> 01:23:06,120
Clear as a crystal
1384
01:23:06,120 --> 01:23:10,000
I can see your face
1385
01:23:11,360 --> 01:23:13,080
I think it was Poly's last gig,
1386
01:23:13,080 --> 01:23:14,440
which none of us were to know.
1387
01:23:14,440 --> 01:23:16,600
But I remember
she was on fine form,
1388
01:23:16,600 --> 01:23:19,240
and you gotta understand,
I hadn't seen her
since the Roxy days.
1389
01:23:19,280 --> 01:23:21,040
And she'd
been through a whole load
1390
01:23:21,080 --> 01:23:22,560
of trials and tribulations.
1391
01:23:22,600 --> 01:23:24,920
And to see her
come through all of that,
1392
01:23:26,040 --> 01:23:28,080
it looked like
the sky was the limit,
1393
01:23:28,080 --> 01:23:29,480
and that there was
1394
01:23:29,520 --> 01:23:31,640
a whole new lease
of life in front of her.
1395
01:23:35,480 --> 01:23:37,040
Up until a few hours before,
1396
01:23:37,080 --> 01:23:38,720
I never really was sure
if she was gonna do it.
1397
01:23:40,200 --> 01:23:43,640
It was very, very difficult
for her to get the confidence.
1398
01:23:46,600 --> 01:23:49,240
Mum had been taking
medication on and off
1399
01:23:49,280 --> 01:23:50,760
for her bipolar disorder
1400
01:23:51,640 --> 01:23:53,440
since her first breakdown.
1401
01:23:55,000 --> 01:23:56,640
I'd always felt that
1402
01:23:56,680 --> 01:23:58,520
she didn't take her meds
as often as she should have,
1403
01:23:59,640 --> 01:24:03,040
and it was a real source
of contention between us.
1404
01:24:04,480 --> 01:24:06,200
She felt the medication
1405
01:24:06,200 --> 01:24:09,800
had a dampening effect
on her creative expression.
1406
01:24:11,320 --> 01:24:13,120
But she realised
1407
01:24:13,160 --> 01:24:15,880
she wouldn't be able to get
through the gig without it.
1408
01:24:18,160 --> 01:24:21,960
She was terrified that
the anxiety of performing live
1409
01:24:21,960 --> 01:24:24,800
would lead to
yet another breakdown.
1410
01:24:26,200 --> 01:24:28,400
But despite all that,
1411
01:24:28,400 --> 01:24:30,600
she gathered
the courage she needed
1412
01:24:30,640 --> 01:24:34,080
to get on stage
in front of thousands of people.
1413
01:24:35,440 --> 01:24:38,640
And even if she was
pretty heavily medicated,
1414
01:24:39,320 --> 01:24:41,040
she kicked arse out there,
1415
01:24:41,840 --> 01:24:43,560
gave it all she had.
1416
01:24:44,480 --> 01:24:46,600
I was so proud of her.
1417
01:24:46,600 --> 01:24:48,520
One, two, three, four!
1418
01:24:51,200 --> 01:24:52,680
I joined her on stage
1419
01:24:52,680 --> 01:24:55,640
for an encore
of "Oh Bondage Up Yours!".
1420
01:24:57,120 --> 01:24:58,920
It was beyond amazing.
1421
01:25:00,360 --> 01:25:03,200
Bind me, tie me
Chain me to the wall
1422
01:25:03,240 --> 01:25:05,560
I wanna be
A slave to you all
1423
01:25:05,600 --> 01:25:08,240
Oh bondage, up yours!
1424
01:25:08,240 --> 01:25:10,680
Oh bondage, no more!
1425
01:25:10,680 --> 01:25:13,360
Oh bondage, up yours!
1426
01:25:13,360 --> 01:25:15,480
Oh bondage, no more!
1427
01:25:42,000 --> 01:25:44,840
Now the moment had come,
I felt strange.
1428
01:25:46,480 --> 01:25:48,880
Half scared, half excited.
1429
01:25:51,440 --> 01:25:53,400
It was weird
looking at the things
1430
01:25:53,400 --> 01:25:55,560
I'd always taken for granted.
1431
01:25:57,560 --> 01:25:59,640
Never bothered to think about.
1432
01:26:02,320 --> 01:26:03,840
Things like pets,
1433
01:26:04,960 --> 01:26:06,120
friends,
1434
01:26:08,680 --> 01:26:10,320
places I went to.
1435
01:26:13,000 --> 01:26:15,600
But I knew I had to go then,
or I never would.
1436
01:26:22,760 --> 01:26:24,320
She had just finished recording
1437
01:26:24,320 --> 01:26:27,520
a new album, Generation Indigo ,
1438
01:26:28,160 --> 01:26:29,200
when we found out
1439
01:26:29,200 --> 01:26:30,920
she had breast cancer.
1440
01:26:32,560 --> 01:26:33,960
Those last months,
1441
01:26:33,960 --> 01:26:35,760
when we were blissfully unaware
1442
01:26:35,760 --> 01:26:38,360
of the disease that had
already spread to her bones,
1443
01:26:39,240 --> 01:26:40,560
were some of the happiest times
1444
01:26:40,600 --> 01:26:42,560
I ever spent with my mother.
1445
01:26:43,520 --> 01:26:45,280
We worked together on the album,
1446
01:26:46,400 --> 01:26:48,800
writing and recording
new tracks.
1447
01:26:49,640 --> 01:26:51,560
She was in her element, really,
1448
01:26:52,320 --> 01:26:53,320
doing what she knew best.
1449
01:26:54,680 --> 01:26:57,120
And I was so lucky
to be able to do it with her.
1450
01:26:58,720 --> 01:27:02,440
I hit the button called send
1451
01:27:02,480 --> 01:27:05,280
You're my virtual boyfriend
1452
01:27:05,280 --> 01:27:08,600
You're like a MySpace friend
That's all
1453
01:27:09,440 --> 01:27:12,680
Just a text or a missed call
1454
01:27:12,680 --> 01:27:17,040
I just thought it was funny,
'cos everybody were having
these relationships online.
1455
01:27:18,280 --> 01:27:20,400
And it's great,
but you never see each other.
1456
01:27:20,440 --> 01:27:22,280
Well, you probably do sometimes.
1457
01:27:22,280 --> 01:27:23,480
But I just thought,
1458
01:27:23,480 --> 01:27:25,680
why not write
a love song about that?
1459
01:27:25,680 --> 01:27:28,240
You're not meeting,
but you're actually...
1460
01:27:28,280 --> 01:27:31,200
And then at the end,
just press delete to end.
1461
01:27:32,400 --> 01:27:33,800
I found working with her
1462
01:27:33,800 --> 01:27:36,040
very life-affirming.
1463
01:27:37,360 --> 01:27:40,040
Even when she was
at death's door, ironically.
1464
01:27:41,240 --> 01:27:45,480
She had a great
spiritual perception
1465
01:27:45,520 --> 01:27:48,440
that was wrought
from hard experience.
1466
01:28:12,800 --> 01:28:16,080
I finally took
my mum's ashes to India,
1467
01:28:16,640 --> 01:28:18,160
to Vrindavan,
1468
01:28:19,040 --> 01:28:21,720
the holy city on the banks
of the Yamuna River,
1469
01:28:22,600 --> 01:28:25,280
the place
where Krishna was born.
1470
01:28:26,760 --> 01:28:29,000
This was her last request.
1471
01:28:39,280 --> 01:28:43,320
Being there was almost
metamorphic for me.
1472
01:28:44,840 --> 01:28:46,720
I saw with my own eyes
1473
01:28:46,760 --> 01:28:49,480
everything she had told me
about the place.
1474
01:28:52,000 --> 01:28:55,240
Everywhere I went,
I felt her presence,
1475
01:28:56,520 --> 01:29:00,440
and I was able to understand her
a little better.
1476
01:29:12,760 --> 01:29:15,360
She'd wanted to take me there
for many years.
1477
01:29:16,440 --> 01:29:19,000
But a spiritual pilgrimage
to India
1478
01:29:19,000 --> 01:29:22,360
didn't have much appeal
when I was a teenager.
1479
01:29:25,400 --> 01:29:27,000
I went through a period
1480
01:29:27,000 --> 01:29:30,320
where I rejected everything
that my mum cared about,
1481
01:29:31,640 --> 01:29:34,480
including her religious beliefs.
1482
01:29:52,800 --> 01:29:55,440
I was angry for a long time.
1483
01:29:58,000 --> 01:30:01,560
I felt my mum
hadn't lived up to my idea
1484
01:30:01,600 --> 01:30:04,080
of what a good mother should be.
1485
01:30:06,680 --> 01:30:09,720
I just wished
I had normal parents
1486
01:30:09,720 --> 01:30:11,440
and a normal childhood,
1487
01:30:12,720 --> 01:30:15,840
where my mother
didn't have a mental illness,
1488
01:30:16,520 --> 01:30:18,320
wasn't a Hare Krishna,
1489
01:30:18,760 --> 01:30:20,560
had a regular job,
1490
01:30:21,680 --> 01:30:24,920
didn't have
so many crazy friends.
1491
01:30:27,600 --> 01:30:31,240
But by the time I started
to really appreciate
1492
01:30:31,240 --> 01:30:34,640
how lucky I was
to have such a remarkable woman
1493
01:30:34,640 --> 01:30:37,080
as a mother and a role model,
1494
01:30:37,680 --> 01:30:39,560
it was too late.
1495
01:30:40,560 --> 01:30:42,960
She was leaving her body.
1496
01:30:49,080 --> 01:30:51,880
Everything about her
was inspirational.
1497
01:30:53,080 --> 01:30:55,720
She was born an inspiration.
1498
01:30:55,720 --> 01:30:58,040
She was, she was just...
1499
01:30:58,040 --> 01:30:59,880
That's who she was.
1500
01:30:59,880 --> 01:31:01,920
That's who she was.
1501
01:31:06,280 --> 01:31:07,720
The legacy of someone like Poly
1502
01:31:07,720 --> 01:31:10,040
cannot be overstated.
1503
01:31:10,640 --> 01:31:12,000
What she did
1504
01:31:12,040 --> 01:31:13,240
stands as a great example
for women,
1505
01:31:14,720 --> 01:31:17,240
not only in the 21st century,
I think it'll stand forever.
1506
01:31:18,080 --> 01:31:20,040
Because she was brave, man.
1507
01:31:23,800 --> 01:31:25,080
There is something
1508
01:31:25,120 --> 01:31:27,040
in Poly's sound
and in her voice,
1509
01:31:27,040 --> 01:31:29,000
in her expression,
in her lyrics
1510
01:31:29,000 --> 01:31:30,520
and in who she was.
1511
01:31:31,720 --> 01:31:33,440
You could say
it's anti-establishment,
1512
01:31:33,440 --> 01:31:36,760
or it's anti-this and anti-...
But for me it was like,
1513
01:31:36,760 --> 01:31:38,840
I could see
that it was possible.
1514
01:31:38,840 --> 01:31:40,720
That it was important
1515
01:31:40,760 --> 01:31:44,640
to fight against
the predictable holes
1516
01:31:44,640 --> 01:31:47,600
that we are all surrounded by
as human beings,
1517
01:31:47,640 --> 01:31:49,400
but particularly women.
1518
01:31:52,880 --> 01:31:56,840
For me, her legacy
was to open up the box,
1519
01:31:56,840 --> 01:31:58,840
give everyone new tools,
1520
01:31:58,840 --> 01:32:02,480
and new ideas
and new possibilities.
1521
01:32:06,520 --> 01:32:08,080
The world is playing catch-up
1522
01:32:08,120 --> 01:32:09,560
with Poly Styrene,
1523
01:32:09,560 --> 01:32:11,200
not the other way around.
1524
01:32:15,400 --> 01:32:17,840
When I saw her, like,
three days before she passed,
1525
01:32:17,840 --> 01:32:19,200
she said to me,
1526
01:32:19,200 --> 01:32:20,880
"You see the lights
on the trees?"
1527
01:32:20,880 --> 01:32:23,360
"Every one of those lights
is like a soul who's passed."
1528
01:32:24,640 --> 01:32:25,840
There was something out there
1529
01:32:25,880 --> 01:32:27,640
and in the
not-too-distant future
1530
01:32:27,680 --> 01:32:29,240
she was going to be part of.
1531
01:32:37,480 --> 01:32:39,760
I remember
the last time I saw her
1532
01:32:39,760 --> 01:32:41,720
like it was yesterday.
1533
01:32:44,080 --> 01:32:47,080
A piece of me died that day.
1534
01:32:49,160 --> 01:32:50,720
I cried even though
1535
01:32:50,720 --> 01:32:54,040
my Mum always told me
not to cry for the dead.
1536
01:32:58,880 --> 01:33:01,520
She said
it's just the beginning,
1537
01:33:03,080 --> 01:33:05,680
even if it feels like the end.
1538
01:33:28,840 --> 01:33:30,720
I am a cliché.
1539
01:33:41,880 --> 01:33:43,960
I'm a cliché
I'm a cliché
1540
01:33:44,000 --> 01:33:45,680
I'm a cliché
I'm a cliché
1541
01:33:45,680 --> 01:33:47,880
I'm a cliché
You've seen before
1542
01:33:47,880 --> 01:33:49,640
I'm a cliché
Live next door
1543
01:33:49,680 --> 01:33:51,840
I'm a cliché
You know what I mean
1544
01:33:51,880 --> 01:33:54,040
I'm a cliché
Pink is obscene
1545
01:33:55,600 --> 01:33:57,880
Huri yama yama
Huri yama yama
1546
01:33:57,880 --> 01:33:59,880
Boredom, boredom
1547
01:33:59,880 --> 01:34:01,840
Huri yama yama
Huri yama yama
1548
01:34:01,840 --> 01:34:04,120
Boredom, boredom
127509
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.