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Previously on Just
Shoot Me - Marry me.
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00:00:04,432 --> 00:00:04,972
- What?
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00:00:04,999 --> 00:00:07,098
- Every third
Tuesday his holiness
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00:00:07,122 --> 00:00:08,975
the Revered Singh Chop Chop Cho
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00:00:08,999 --> 00:00:11,795
holds a mass wedding at
the church of the Rising Star.
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00:00:12,114 --> 00:00:13,709
- Finch, don't do it.
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00:00:13,749 --> 00:00:15,297
- Maya, be quiet.
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00:00:15,321 --> 00:00:15,983
- Ah.
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00:00:16,050 --> 00:00:19,085
- See now isn't this better
than a silly mass wedding.
10
00:00:19,781 --> 00:00:21,031
- What is that?
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00:00:21,989 --> 00:00:24,567
- I think we just got married.
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00:00:24,644 --> 00:00:27,848
- I now pronounce
you husband and wife.
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00:00:28,224 --> 00:00:30,447
- It's like a dream come true.
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00:00:30,909 --> 00:00:34,780
Adrienne, nom nom
nom nom, Adrienne.
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00:00:35,502 --> 00:00:39,422
Adri..., Adrienne?
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00:00:41,564 --> 00:00:42,566
Oh no.
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00:00:43,612 --> 00:00:45,795
It was all a dream?
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00:00:45,906 --> 00:00:46,893
No!
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00:00:48,236 --> 00:00:50,032
No!
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00:00:51,533 --> 00:00:52,790
- You don't want corn flakes?
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00:00:53,861 --> 00:00:56,176
- No corn flakes is good.
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00:01:10,501 --> 00:01:12,761
- Look at this, another
credit card offer
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00:01:12,781 --> 00:01:15,374
for Mrs. Maya Demoro.
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00:01:15,434 --> 00:01:18,365
That colt must've sold our
names to a junk mail company.
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00:01:18,897 --> 00:01:19,876
- So what?
26
00:01:19,896 --> 00:01:22,224
- So what if someone sees
this and thinks we're married?
27
00:01:22,429 --> 00:01:23,595
- Isn't the bigger
question why you
28
00:01:23,615 --> 00:01:25,334
get the Kenny
Loggins newsletter?
29
00:01:27,284 --> 00:01:29,284
- Someone gave
it to me as a joke,
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00:01:29,304 --> 00:01:32,038
ooh, he's gonna
be in West Orange.
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00:01:32,655 --> 00:01:34,239
Nina would you please
go back to your cult
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00:01:34,259 --> 00:01:36,520
and tell someone that
Elliot and I are not married?
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00:01:36,598 --> 00:01:39,769
- First of all, it's a church,
not a cult, so open your mind
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00:01:39,983 --> 00:01:42,631
and second, as a deserter,
I'd be tied up and caned.
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00:01:44,802 --> 00:01:47,094
- Look, look, obviously we
didn't mean to get married
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00:01:47,114 --> 00:01:49,675
so it's not legally
binding, doesn't count.
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00:01:49,763 --> 00:01:52,537
- Except in the eyes of
eight million crazy fanatics.
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00:01:52,571 --> 00:01:55,999
- Crazy fanatics,
crazy fanatics?
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00:01:56,421 --> 00:01:57,868
Okay, that's fair.
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00:02:00,021 --> 00:02:05,205
- Wow guess who's back in
an all-new adventure, woo hoo.
41
00:02:05,366 --> 00:02:06,520
- So how was it, how was it?
42
00:02:06,545 --> 00:02:07,741
- Amazing, Tahiti was great.
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00:02:07,766 --> 00:02:11,696
This guy treated me like a
queen, what an animal in bed.
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00:02:12,075 --> 00:02:12,722
- Louder.
45
00:02:12,973 --> 00:02:15,973
- And we, we brought presents.
46
00:02:16,020 --> 00:02:18,596
Here, it's a Puka
necklace, a symbol of love.
47
00:02:18,662 --> 00:02:20,010
- Oh, how sweet.
48
00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:21,648
- It's a Puke necklace,
a symbol of love.
49
00:02:21,668 --> 00:02:22,986
- Thank you.
50
00:02:23,006 --> 00:02:24,863
- Here, you like books.
51
00:02:26,738 --> 00:02:28,767
- How to get over a lost love?
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00:02:28,797 --> 00:02:30,814
Adrienne I swear to you
I'm not in love with Finch.
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00:02:31,437 --> 00:02:33,600
- See she won't
even help herself?
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00:02:33,630 --> 00:02:35,488
Here, it's a...
55
00:02:35,508 --> 00:02:37,665
- Yeah, yeah, symbol of love.
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00:02:37,725 --> 00:02:39,812
- So excited, tell
me everything.
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00:02:39,841 --> 00:02:41,811
- Wooh, I don't
know where to begin.
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00:02:41,819 --> 00:02:44,345
- Well I'll be around.
59
00:02:44,651 --> 00:02:47,195
- Hey buddy, you
were in the tabloids.
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00:02:47,255 --> 00:02:48,553
- Yeah, really?
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00:02:50,208 --> 00:02:53,067
- Is supermodel Adrienne
Barker more wild than we thought?
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00:02:53,437 --> 00:02:55,599
The leggy beauty
was spotted frolicking
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00:02:55,631 --> 00:02:58,555
in the Tahiti surf with a
topless blonde gal pal.
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00:03:04,646 --> 00:03:06,344
- I knew that Speedo
was a mistake.
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00:03:07,151 --> 00:03:09,289
- Hey, look who's back.
- Hey, hey.
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00:03:09,309 --> 00:03:10,734
- Hello doll.
- Hello, how are you?
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00:03:10,759 --> 00:03:11,463
- Hey.
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00:03:11,488 --> 00:03:13,429
- So did you bring
me back a starfish?
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00:03:13,445 --> 00:03:15,499
- Yeah, and a can of sunshine.
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00:03:17,244 --> 00:03:18,442
You're not kidding?
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00:03:19,211 --> 00:03:21,578
- Remember I waved
goodbye and I said
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00:03:21,765 --> 00:03:23,703
"Bring me back a starfish!"
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00:03:24,236 --> 00:03:26,754
- Yeah, I thought
you were joking.
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00:03:27,259 --> 00:03:30,301
- Oh well, not to
worry, welcome back.
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00:03:31,082 --> 00:03:33,145
I could not have
been more clear.
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00:03:35,699 --> 00:03:38,131
- Dennis, are these your dolls?
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00:03:38,440 --> 00:03:39,486
- What?
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00:03:39,506 --> 00:03:42,364
First of all, they're not
dolls, they're action figures.
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00:03:42,390 --> 00:03:45,112
Second of all, who left
these here, come on children.
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00:03:45,112 --> 00:03:47,652
Hey take these to the
incinerator, or better yet
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00:03:47,652 --> 00:03:49,889
my cubby in the coatroom,
I'll deal with them later.
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00:03:52,228 --> 00:03:53,692
- Ooh that's my
agent I'll be right back.
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00:03:53,692 --> 00:03:54,395
- Not mine.
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00:03:56,839 --> 00:03:58,517
- So when are you
gonna come clean to her
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00:03:58,517 --> 00:04:00,346
about your action
figure collection?
86
00:04:00,776 --> 00:04:03,022
- The day you
officially turn 40.
87
00:04:05,707 --> 00:04:07,736
- Seven years is a
long time my friend.
88
00:04:09,300 --> 00:04:11,328
- Adrienne has to
keep thinking I'm cool.
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00:04:11,361 --> 00:04:14,074
That means no more
sci-fi conventions,
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00:04:14,099 --> 00:04:15,809
no more internet
chess tournaments,
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00:04:15,987 --> 00:04:17,103
and I can all but forget about
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00:04:17,143 --> 00:04:18,677
playing the lute at
the Renaissance Faire.
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00:04:20,284 --> 00:04:21,905
- Now dear, you know
that I'm the last one
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00:04:21,939 --> 00:04:23,936
to give out advice, or take it,
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00:04:23,966 --> 00:04:25,726
or pay for a round of drinks.
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00:04:25,870 --> 00:04:27,757
But you can't just
wake up one morning
97
00:04:27,787 --> 00:04:29,193
and decide to be
a different person.
98
00:04:29,271 --> 00:04:32,087
- Oh says the New York socialite
who grew up on a hog farm.
99
00:04:33,315 --> 00:04:34,823
- You think I'm a socialite?
100
00:04:38,604 --> 00:04:39,978
- You know instead
of throwing these out
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00:04:40,019 --> 00:04:41,687
why don't we give
'em to needy children.
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00:04:42,007 --> 00:04:44,753
- Honey, give a kid a
toy, he'll play for a day.
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00:04:44,910 --> 00:04:47,482
Teach a kid to
fish, and that kid,
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00:04:48,382 --> 00:04:49,835
just give me those.
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00:05:00,855 --> 00:05:03,767
Hey would you...
What are you writing?
106
00:05:03,875 --> 00:05:05,924
- A letter to the church
of the Rising Star
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00:05:05,952 --> 00:05:08,049
warning them to stop
telling people I'm your wife.
108
00:05:08,081 --> 00:05:09,407
- Come on you're not serious?
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00:05:10,940 --> 00:05:12,763
- Imprisoned in an
emotional Gulag?
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00:05:12,881 --> 00:05:16,150
- Hey, it's a first
draft, now just go.
111
00:05:16,182 --> 00:05:18,744
- No way, no way,
I'm not giving up on us.
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00:05:19,872 --> 00:05:21,902
We're gonna make
this thing work, dammit.
113
00:05:23,403 --> 00:05:24,516
- Elliot, you're not funny.
114
00:05:24,548 --> 00:05:27,841
- Oh no, don't tell me
the laughter's gone too.
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00:05:29,299 --> 00:05:31,200
- Look this is
really bothering me.
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00:05:31,232 --> 00:05:33,773
We went through a
wedding ceremony.
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00:05:33,793 --> 00:05:36,009
That reverend
proclaimed us married.
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00:05:36,505 --> 00:05:40,275
- Maya he was wearing genie
pants and curly-toed shoes.
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00:05:40,307 --> 00:05:42,300
- No you may think
that this is a joke
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00:05:42,320 --> 00:05:44,947
but I haven't been able to
go out on a date in two weeks.
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00:05:45,881 --> 00:05:46,820
- Have you been asked?
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00:05:48,153 --> 00:05:50,578
- Obviously I'm giving
out some sort of vibe.
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00:05:54,267 --> 00:05:56,725
- Finch, who has
the key to petty cash?
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00:05:56,897 --> 00:05:58,764
- Everyone here but you.
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00:06:00,529 --> 00:06:02,749
I can't believe how much
mail piled up while I was gone.
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00:06:02,894 --> 00:06:04,490
- Mmm, anything important?
127
00:06:04,522 --> 00:06:07,442
- Planet of the Apes
convention, old Finch.
128
00:06:09,851 --> 00:06:12,560
Ooh appearance at
Macy's by Spiderman.
129
00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:14,635
Old Finch.
130
00:06:14,980 --> 00:06:17,773
- New York Invitational
Cat Show, Old Finch.
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00:06:17,911 --> 00:06:20,783
- Woah woah, woah,
woah, it's marked urgent.
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00:06:25,188 --> 00:06:27,117
Oh my God Spartacus
made the finals.
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00:06:27,133 --> 00:06:27,995
- Who's Spartacus?
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00:06:28,011 --> 00:06:29,542
- My cat, he's been
accepted to the
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00:06:29,535 --> 00:06:30,979
top show in the tri-state area.
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00:06:30,995 --> 00:06:32,965
- Oh it's just a dumb animal,
tell him he didn't make it.
137
00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:33,902
- Woah, woah.
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00:06:35,143 --> 00:06:36,984
Need to fill out
the registration.
139
00:06:37,004 --> 00:06:38,861
- Finch, you can't
go to this thing.
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00:06:39,304 --> 00:06:39,846
- Why not?
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00:06:39,976 --> 00:06:41,877
- Well no offense,
but don't you think
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00:06:41,909 --> 00:06:44,526
cat shows are just a
tad on the geeky side?
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00:06:46,329 --> 00:06:46,968
- Geeky?
144
00:06:47,855 --> 00:06:50,351
Yeah, let me drop a
little history on you.
145
00:06:50,638 --> 00:06:53,526
Egyptian Pharaohs
worshiped cats, they were cool.
146
00:06:54,003 --> 00:06:56,189
Macgyver had cats, he was cool.
147
00:06:57,292 --> 00:06:58,281
And need I remind you of the
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00:06:58,281 --> 00:06:59,703
longest running
show on Broadway?
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00:06:59,877 --> 00:07:00,681
- Chippendales?
150
00:07:03,483 --> 00:07:04,321
- Yeah, right.
151
00:07:05,350 --> 00:07:07,919
Listen, for years I've dreamed
152
00:07:07,919 --> 00:07:09,372
about making the finals, okay?
153
00:07:09,675 --> 00:07:11,031
And I'm gonna get
that trophy this year
154
00:07:11,073 --> 00:07:12,918
with Adrienne right by my side.
155
00:07:13,064 --> 00:07:15,143
- Sweetie I got our
honeymoon pictures back.
156
00:07:16,377 --> 00:07:18,898
Ooh, here's some weird
ones of me sleeping.
157
00:07:22,295 --> 00:07:24,169
- Adrienne, honey,
how would you like
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00:07:24,185 --> 00:07:26,433
to accompany me to
a cat show tomorrow?
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00:07:26,453 --> 00:07:27,513
- Yeah sure that sounds great.
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00:07:27,896 --> 00:07:28,505
- Really?
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00:07:28,505 --> 00:07:29,533
- Well you heard the lady.
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00:07:30,057 --> 00:07:31,129
- It'll be fun to
see you goofing
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00:07:31,129 --> 00:07:33,257
on all those
pathetic cat freaks.
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00:07:33,881 --> 00:07:36,137
What lonely planet do
those losers come from?
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00:07:36,409 --> 00:07:37,945
- Apparently Egypt.
166
00:07:46,809 --> 00:07:48,793
- Hey, you leavin' early?
167
00:07:48,809 --> 00:07:49,993
- Yeah I'm running to the store.
168
00:07:50,013 --> 00:07:51,257
I'm cooking dinner for someone.
169
00:07:51,321 --> 00:07:52,413
- Like a date?
170
00:07:55,747 --> 00:07:56,799
- Right, like a date.
171
00:07:57,380 --> 00:08:00,484
- Oh, that's nice,
I mean, have fun.
172
00:08:00,745 --> 00:08:04,986
I mean, don't do anything I
wouldn't do, ha ha ha ha ha ha.
173
00:08:07,643 --> 00:08:08,521
- Okay.
174
00:08:08,884 --> 00:08:10,443
- You're just going
like nothing happened?
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00:08:10,463 --> 00:08:12,441
- Nothing did happen.
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00:08:12,654 --> 00:08:15,243
For the last time,
we're not married.
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00:08:15,263 --> 00:08:18,153
You think I'd go on a date if
I thought I was cheating, no!
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00:08:18,173 --> 00:08:21,819
Do I look racked with guilt, no!
179
00:08:22,445 --> 00:08:23,962
- Has this ever happened before?
180
00:08:24,045 --> 00:08:25,134
- No.
181
00:08:39,197 --> 00:08:40,592
- Okay here's
your monthly report
182
00:08:40,882 --> 00:08:43,187
and I updated
your palm pilot and
183
00:08:43,187 --> 00:08:45,252
picked up your dry cleaning.
184
00:08:45,538 --> 00:08:47,665
- I didn't have
any dry cleaning.
185
00:08:47,685 --> 00:08:51,217
- Oh no wonder that Korean
lady fought like a tiger.
186
00:08:52,391 --> 00:08:55,959
- Just go, I hope
your cat does the thing
187
00:08:55,979 --> 00:08:58,298
and and and wins the what's its
188
00:08:58,378 --> 00:09:00,972
- Ah thanks Jack I know that
comes from the heart, buddy.
189
00:09:02,300 --> 00:09:04,793
- So what's your alibi in
case Adrienne stops in?
190
00:09:05,041 --> 00:09:06,065
- Alibi?
191
00:09:06,774 --> 00:09:08,185
For your information
I talked to Adrienne
192
00:09:08,215 --> 00:09:09,976
about the cat show
and she's totally into it.
193
00:09:12,961 --> 00:09:15,726
Finch here, oh hey baby.
194
00:09:16,252 --> 00:09:18,593
Yeah, no I'm
takin' off right now.
195
00:09:18,618 --> 00:09:20,260
Oh no no, you
shouldn't come down.
196
00:09:20,661 --> 00:09:24,615
Ah, because, because when I
play rugby I get violent honey.
197
00:09:24,727 --> 00:09:27,014
All right, okay, love you too.
198
00:09:28,473 --> 00:09:29,049
- Rugby?
199
00:09:29,065 --> 00:09:30,666
- Yeah I think
it's like football.
200
00:09:35,352 --> 00:09:36,216
- Hard night?
201
00:09:36,301 --> 00:09:37,569
- Not really.
202
00:09:41,272 --> 00:09:43,732
- Oh morning Elliot,
what you looking for?
203
00:09:43,792 --> 00:09:45,933
- Well uh back issue.
204
00:09:46,273 --> 00:09:46,914
- Which one?
205
00:09:48,611 --> 00:09:52,036
- I had um, health
article I wanted.
206
00:09:52,245 --> 00:09:54,373
- Oh, what health article?
207
00:09:54,453 --> 00:09:55,942
- Nevermind, I found it.
208
00:09:55,998 --> 00:09:59,958
- Oh July, wasn't that the
piece on treating impotence?
209
00:10:00,003 --> 00:10:02,298
Maya didn't you write
this piece on impotence?
210
00:10:07,950 --> 00:10:09,821
What's that, line two?
211
00:10:12,942 --> 00:10:14,757
- I'm not a machine.
212
00:10:17,168 --> 00:10:18,129
- Well well well.
213
00:10:18,149 --> 00:10:18,945
- It's your fault.
214
00:10:19,199 --> 00:10:21,346
All your stupid obsessing
about being married
215
00:10:21,378 --> 00:10:22,513
planted something in my head.
216
00:10:22,544 --> 00:10:25,857
- Oh sure, blame it on the wife.
217
00:10:25,934 --> 00:10:28,536
- Get your coat, we have
to get a divorce, come on.
218
00:10:28,744 --> 00:10:31,498
- Oh well, that's a fine
attitude coming from the man
219
00:10:31,514 --> 00:10:34,240
that I expect to
father my children.
220
00:10:34,428 --> 00:10:36,121
Although it seems we
might have to adopt.
221
00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:43,717
- Look, I was wrong, you
were right, please help me.
222
00:10:43,920 --> 00:10:46,532
- Once more, with feeling, and
your underpants on your head.
223
00:10:46,662 --> 00:10:47,342
- I'm not wearing any.
224
00:10:47,367 --> 00:10:48,696
- Oh gross, you win.
225
00:10:49,608 --> 00:10:50,568
- Knock knock.
226
00:10:50,619 --> 00:10:51,756
- Nina, I need your help.
227
00:10:51,830 --> 00:10:53,868
- I heard, there's no
reason to be embarrassed.
228
00:10:54,132 --> 00:10:57,591
Here, apply this to
Elliot Jr. three times day.
229
00:11:00,383 --> 00:11:03,761
- No no, that's not
what I'm talking about.
230
00:11:06,116 --> 00:11:08,230
We need to go back to
the cult and get a divorce.
231
00:11:08,466 --> 00:11:09,427
- I see.
232
00:11:11,167 --> 00:11:13,646
My advice, be very careful.
233
00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:14,697
- What do you mean?
234
00:11:14,801 --> 00:11:16,076
- The Church of the Rising Star
235
00:11:16,072 --> 00:11:17,837
is a dark and powerful religion
236
00:11:18,077 --> 00:11:20,294
with beliefs that stretch
back to the mid '80s.
237
00:11:22,012 --> 00:11:24,334
Watch your back,
refuse all refreshments.
238
00:11:24,454 --> 00:11:26,354
And don't say "Hi
Priest" to the high priest.
239
00:11:26,441 --> 00:11:27,782
It's not as funny as you think.
240
00:11:37,196 --> 00:11:39,374
- Adrienne, what
are you doing here?
241
00:11:39,399 --> 00:11:41,110
- Looking for the
cat show tickets.
242
00:11:41,161 --> 00:11:44,427
- But Dennis is playing rugball.
243
00:11:44,502 --> 00:11:46,500
- I know but I told my
hairdresser about the cat show
244
00:11:46,594 --> 00:11:47,974
and now he wants to go, so.
245
00:11:48,031 --> 00:11:48,751
- He does?
246
00:11:48,812 --> 00:11:49,867
- Well it'll still
be funny, he has
247
00:11:49,892 --> 00:11:51,570
the same wicked sense
of humor as Dennis.
248
00:11:51,634 --> 00:11:53,216
Actually everyone
at the salon does.
249
00:11:53,236 --> 00:11:54,195
- Oh.
250
00:11:55,383 --> 00:11:56,763
- Oh well, we'll get
tickets there, see ya.
251
00:11:56,791 --> 00:11:58,345
- No no no, you can't go.
252
00:11:58,435 --> 00:11:59,424
- Why not?
253
00:11:59,508 --> 00:12:01,126
- Because I'm terribly depressed
254
00:12:01,142 --> 00:12:03,383
and I shouldn't
be alone right now.
255
00:12:03,475 --> 00:12:05,141
- I'm sorry, I didn't know.
256
00:12:05,214 --> 00:12:07,846
Listen, you know, I studied
psychology maybe I can help.
257
00:12:07,970 --> 00:12:09,424
- Or maybe we can
just hit some bars.
258
00:12:09,634 --> 00:12:12,814
- Oh let's see, maybe
you're sad because
259
00:12:12,839 --> 00:12:13,914
your best days are behind you.
260
00:12:14,111 --> 00:12:16,043
Or maybe...
261
00:12:17,601 --> 00:12:19,393
You think my best
days are behind me?
262
00:12:19,720 --> 00:12:22,245
- Oh no no no no
no no, no it's just that
263
00:12:22,412 --> 00:12:24,122
your life is more than half over
264
00:12:24,147 --> 00:12:26,454
and I don't know some
women would start to panic.
265
00:12:27,953 --> 00:12:30,030
- Maybe you should be
getting to that cat show, huh?
266
00:12:31,137 --> 00:12:32,607
- Nina running away
from your problems
267
00:12:32,623 --> 00:12:34,061
is how you got into this mess.
268
00:12:34,203 --> 00:12:36,601
- Mess? Let me just
tell you something missy,
269
00:12:36,819 --> 00:12:38,912
I am not a mess, I am a legend.
270
00:12:39,029 --> 00:12:41,652
I am Nina Van Horne,
my face has been
271
00:12:41,668 --> 00:12:43,170
on every magazine
from here to Hong Kong.
272
00:12:43,186 --> 00:12:45,184
In 1974 I was model of the year
273
00:12:45,184 --> 00:12:47,449
while you were still
running around in pigtails.
274
00:12:47,762 --> 00:12:49,256
- Actually I wasn't born yet.
275
00:12:50,675 --> 00:12:52,313
- Oh god, don't leave me.
276
00:12:55,587 --> 00:12:56,610
- Looks totally normal.
277
00:12:56,674 --> 00:12:58,865
- Of course it does, that's
how they suck you in.
278
00:12:59,087 --> 00:13:01,149
You say to yourself "Look,
a totally normal office."
279
00:13:01,341 --> 00:13:02,443
Next thing you know
you're assembling
280
00:13:02,468 --> 00:13:04,705
automatic weapons in your sleep.
281
00:13:05,775 --> 00:13:06,874
- What do we do if they ask us
282
00:13:06,899 --> 00:13:09,056
for all our worldly possessions?
283
00:13:09,364 --> 00:13:10,323
- We say no?
284
00:13:10,513 --> 00:13:12,191
- Right, no.
285
00:13:15,091 --> 00:13:17,063
- Hi, sorry to keep you
waiting, I'm Larry Fenwick,
286
00:13:17,088 --> 00:13:19,456
I'm an attorney for the
Church of the Rising Star.
287
00:13:19,884 --> 00:13:20,936
Can I get you
something to drink?
288
00:13:20,956 --> 00:13:23,916
- Oh yeah, I'm so
thirsty, I mean no.
289
00:13:25,180 --> 00:13:27,236
- Well please, take a seat.
290
00:13:27,372 --> 00:13:29,340
So I understand
you two participated
291
00:13:29,340 --> 00:13:32,012
in one of our mass weddings
and now you want a divorce.
292
00:13:32,140 --> 00:13:33,548
- See the thing is, and with
293
00:13:33,564 --> 00:13:34,892
all due respect
to your religion.
294
00:13:34,924 --> 00:13:37,516
- Oh it's not my religion,
I'm just a hired gun.
295
00:13:37,611 --> 00:13:39,617
You, you can speak freely.
296
00:13:39,656 --> 00:13:42,326
Keep in mind though, that
the office may be bugged.
297
00:13:42,492 --> 00:13:43,306
- What?
298
00:13:44,316 --> 00:13:48,436
- I'm kidding, I'm using
humor to put you at your ease.
299
00:13:50,284 --> 00:13:54,732
- So um, can we do it,
you know, get a divorce?
300
00:13:54,859 --> 00:13:58,229
- Well that depends, have you
brought the gods a sacrifice?
301
00:13:59,212 --> 00:14:01,106
Once again, I'm
lightening the mood.
302
00:14:03,004 --> 00:14:04,700
But to answer
your question, yes,
303
00:14:04,700 --> 00:14:06,444
getting a divorce is
actually a very simple matter.
304
00:14:06,525 --> 00:14:10,215
- Oh, so great, can
we take care of it now?
305
00:14:10,286 --> 00:14:11,084
- Absolutely.
306
00:14:11,468 --> 00:14:13,496
Now I don't want you folks
to be uncomfortable but
307
00:14:13,724 --> 00:14:17,292
the church is big on ceremony
so I'm gonna have to ask you
308
00:14:17,292 --> 00:14:19,886
to put on the turbans
of eternal light.
309
00:14:23,102 --> 00:14:24,652
- You almost got us again.
310
00:14:24,716 --> 00:14:25,796
- I'm so sorry.
311
00:14:57,484 --> 00:15:01,485
- That's us, don't be nervous,
just have fun out there.
312
00:15:01,613 --> 00:15:03,347
That goes for you too Spartacus.
313
00:16:05,287 --> 00:16:08,687
- Hey, just a little longer,
and again my apologies.
314
00:16:10,973 --> 00:16:12,847
Time, time's up.
315
00:16:12,877 --> 00:16:15,165
You two are very limber and
may I say as a personal note,
316
00:16:15,565 --> 00:16:16,733
you sing beautifully.
317
00:16:18,537 --> 00:16:20,467
- Um, are we almost done?
318
00:16:20,557 --> 00:16:22,967
- Yes, all you have
to do is sign this form
319
00:16:22,987 --> 00:16:24,093
and we are finito.
320
00:16:24,301 --> 00:16:28,397
You might wanna keep these
pens, they're tracking devices.
321
00:16:29,117 --> 00:16:31,447
Ha ha ha, it's a joke,
but they do make those.
322
00:16:34,205 --> 00:16:35,309
- Um what sort of form.
323
00:16:35,437 --> 00:16:37,917
- Nothing complicated,
just says you want a divorce
324
00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:39,566
and that the two
of you didn't have
325
00:16:39,614 --> 00:16:41,778
physical relations as a
result of the marriage.
326
00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:50,578
Well, congratulations,
you are divorced.
327
00:16:50,598 --> 00:16:52,110
- Hoo, what a relief.
328
00:16:52,702 --> 00:16:53,968
- Yeah, free at last.
329
00:16:53,998 --> 00:16:55,854
- Yes, we'll send the
bill to that address
330
00:16:55,886 --> 00:16:58,088
you wrote on the sacred scroll.
331
00:17:00,449 --> 00:17:01,457
Hi folks, come on in.
332
00:17:01,742 --> 00:17:03,614
Ooh, I almost forgot,
it also says that
333
00:17:03,630 --> 00:17:05,662
you will not have
physical relations
334
00:17:05,678 --> 00:17:07,806
with each other in the future.
335
00:17:11,198 --> 00:17:14,838
- Huh, huh, that guy
and his nutty jokes.
336
00:17:15,054 --> 00:17:15,798
It was a joke right?
337
00:17:15,934 --> 00:17:18,008
- Of course, should we ask?
338
00:17:18,286 --> 00:17:21,008
- Well, not that it
matters to me anyway.
339
00:17:21,150 --> 00:17:23,988
- What, what do you
think it matters to me?
340
00:17:24,142 --> 00:17:25,488
Besides, it was clearly a joke.
341
00:17:25,518 --> 00:17:27,378
- Hey, I'm the one
who said it was nutty.
342
00:17:27,566 --> 00:17:28,568
- You know I don't
mean to be rude,
343
00:17:28,588 --> 00:17:31,318
but I am trying to
perform an exorcism.
344
00:17:35,614 --> 00:17:36,463
- It was a joke.
345
00:17:41,310 --> 00:17:42,308
- Dennis.
346
00:17:49,454 --> 00:17:51,788
So, how was rugby.
347
00:17:51,908 --> 00:17:55,118
- Oh, wooh, very
rough, very manly today.
348
00:17:55,390 --> 00:17:59,188
Scored three tabernacles
and a walkabout.
349
00:17:59,318 --> 00:18:01,758
Yeah, now honey, those are
good, they're like touchdowns.
350
00:18:01,790 --> 00:18:05,458
- Dennis you lied to me, I
know you went to the cat show.
351
00:18:05,650 --> 00:18:07,310
First I get stuck
with your friend Nina,
352
00:18:07,342 --> 00:18:09,806
who broke down, smeared
lipstick all over her face
353
00:18:09,998 --> 00:18:12,868
and started screaming
"I'm still pretty."
354
00:18:14,558 --> 00:18:16,158
- Hey if you wanna
swap Nina stories.
355
00:18:16,174 --> 00:18:19,087
- No I don't, then finally,
when I finally get home
356
00:18:19,089 --> 00:18:20,751
I turn on the news
and what do I see?
357
00:18:20,863 --> 00:18:24,735
A little upbeat story on
you winning the cat show.
358
00:18:24,863 --> 00:18:27,699
- You didn't by
any chance tape it?
359
00:18:29,069 --> 00:18:30,709
- How could you
lie to me Dennis?
360
00:18:30,739 --> 00:18:32,159
- Didn't they teach
you the honor system
361
00:18:32,175 --> 00:18:34,329
during your four
years at Oxford?
362
00:18:39,567 --> 00:18:42,159
- You know what, I was
just about to make up
363
00:18:42,175 --> 00:18:44,319
some big crazy
story
364
00:18:44,619 --> 00:18:46,759
but it's simpler just to tell you the truth.
365
00:18:48,047 --> 00:18:50,639
The truth about a promise
made to a dying captain
366
00:18:50,655 --> 00:18:52,199
in the Persian gulf.
367
00:18:53,099 --> 00:18:54,199
- What, who?
368
00:18:54,319 --> 00:18:57,049
- My CO, Captain Pickardemonger.
369
00:18:59,311 --> 00:19:00,831
My last week there
we were stationed
370
00:19:00,847 --> 00:19:03,807
outside of KC, Kuwait City.
371
00:19:05,820 --> 00:19:08,819
Cleanin' our
guns, just blabbin',
372
00:19:08,943 --> 00:19:10,359
lookin' forward to goin' home.
373
00:19:10,399 --> 00:19:14,379
Suddenly out of nowhere
AK 47s, rat a tat, tat a tat tat.
374
00:19:17,583 --> 00:19:19,699
- What the hell are
you talking about?
375
00:19:19,823 --> 00:19:23,669
- Give me a minute,
this is hard for me.
376
00:19:23,689 --> 00:19:28,735
Okay, um, as my
captain was screaming
377
00:19:28,879 --> 00:19:32,919
and collapsing into my arms,
dammit if I was there two sec...
378
00:19:36,319 --> 00:19:39,487
His dying wish
was that I continue
379
00:19:40,127 --> 00:19:41,647
to show his cat in cat shows.
380
00:19:43,695 --> 00:19:46,015
And that I never
tell anybody about it.
381
00:19:46,219 --> 00:19:48,336
- Dennis, this all
sounds a little crazy.
382
00:19:48,460 --> 00:19:51,570
- You know what's
crazy Adrienne, war?
383
00:19:53,980 --> 00:19:56,944
- I don't know, it just
seems way too convenient.
384
00:19:57,247 --> 00:20:00,126
- So you still think I'm lying?
385
00:20:01,582 --> 00:20:04,084
Well let me tell you something
Adrienne Louise Barker.
386
00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:07,670
If you think I'm so low,
so disgusting, look at me,
387
00:20:08,578 --> 00:20:10,146
that I would lie to my own wife
388
00:20:11,204 --> 00:20:13,142
then I guess this
marriage is over,
389
00:20:13,319 --> 00:20:15,879
and I'll walk out
of here forever.
390
00:20:16,944 --> 00:20:18,030
- Dennis wait.
391
00:20:18,925 --> 00:20:20,665
Dennis I'm sorry.
392
00:20:21,484 --> 00:20:23,216
If you say you made
a promise to a friend,
393
00:20:23,232 --> 00:20:26,740
then, then that's
good enough for me.
394
00:20:28,688 --> 00:20:30,816
- He may also have
asked me to keep an eye
395
00:20:30,832 --> 00:20:32,224
on his vintage porno collection.
27727
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