Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,368 --> 00:00:04,571
♪ It seems today
that all you see ♪
2
00:00:04,638 --> 00:00:07,841
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV ♪
3
00:00:07,908 --> 00:00:11,778
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪
4
00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:14,181
♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
5
00:00:14,248 --> 00:00:17,718
♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
6
00:00:17,784 --> 00:00:21,221
♪ Lucky there's a man
who positively can do ♪
7
00:00:21,321 --> 00:00:22,923
♪ All the things that make us ♪
8
00:00:22,990 --> 00:00:24,191
♪ Laugh and cry ♪
9
00:00:24,258 --> 00:00:30,163
♪ He's... a...
Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
10
00:00:36,937 --> 00:00:39,907
"Hey, guys, home with groceries.
11
00:00:39,973 --> 00:00:42,676
Could use a hand unloading."
12
00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:44,111
And send.
13
00:00:44,211 --> 00:00:47,347
Now I wait for them to come out
to help their dear old mom.
14
00:00:47,414 --> 00:00:49,750
- Do it yourself!
15
00:00:59,026 --> 00:01:01,261
Hi, sad lady.
16
00:01:01,328 --> 00:01:03,964
Junior, our dinner talk
stays inside.
17
00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:05,966
Hi, normal lady.
18
00:01:06,033 --> 00:01:08,535
What are you guys doing?
It's Sunday.
19
00:01:08,602 --> 00:01:11,104
I thought husbands had
to watch football all day
20
00:01:11,171 --> 00:01:12,539
or they get cancer.
21
00:01:12,639 --> 00:01:14,141
Today's our family fun day.
22
00:01:14,208 --> 00:01:18,011
That's right, a whole day
dedicated to family and fun,
23
00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:20,314
ending in the bedroom
with what I hope will be
24
00:01:20,380 --> 00:01:22,015
some back-end participation.
25
00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:24,017
- Hmm?
- Mm-mm.
26
00:01:29,323 --> 00:01:30,524
I am so tired of this family
27
00:01:30,591 --> 00:01:32,759
just sitting around
and doing nothing.
28
00:01:32,826 --> 00:01:34,394
The Browns are outside
having fun
29
00:01:34,461 --> 00:01:35,896
while we're in here
loafing around
30
00:01:35,963 --> 00:01:37,598
like a bunch of stupid potatoes.
31
00:01:37,731 --> 00:01:41,168
Mom, I've been anonymously
cyberbullied for a decade.
32
00:01:41,201 --> 00:01:43,303
"Stupid potato" doesn't even
leave a mark.
33
00:01:43,403 --> 00:01:46,940
We need to spend some quality
time together like the Browns.
34
00:01:47,007 --> 00:01:49,276
So we're doing
a family fun day.
35
00:01:49,343 --> 00:01:51,545
Oh, family-free fun day
sounds great.
36
00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:53,547
No, family fun day.
37
00:01:53,647 --> 00:01:54,815
Yeah, family-free fun day.
38
00:01:54,848 --> 00:01:58,452
No, Peter.
Family. Fun. Day.
39
00:01:59,820 --> 00:02:00,787
Yeah, I'm already at The Clam.
40
00:02:00,888 --> 00:02:02,356
Have fun.
41
00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:09,563
All right, nothing's more fun
than a family card game.
42
00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:11,298
Now, the game is euchre.
43
00:02:11,331 --> 00:02:15,702
"Begin by separating the nines,
tens, face cards and aces
44
00:02:15,769 --> 00:02:17,004
"from the rest of the deck.
45
00:02:17,070 --> 00:02:19,940
"The goal is to win at least
three 'tricks.'
46
00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:22,276
"Now, if the side that fixed
the trump fails
47
00:02:22,342 --> 00:02:25,179
"to get three tricks,
it is said to be 'euchred.'
48
00:02:25,279 --> 00:02:28,549
"The highest trump is the jack
of the trump suit,
49
00:02:28,682 --> 00:02:30,484
"called the 'right bower.'
50
00:02:30,551 --> 00:02:33,687
"Partnership-making trump wins
three or four tricks
51
00:02:33,787 --> 00:02:35,055
"and earns one point.
52
00:02:35,122 --> 00:02:37,691
"Lone hand wins
three or four tricks,
53
00:02:37,791 --> 00:02:39,927
"also earns one point.
54
00:02:40,027 --> 00:02:43,063
"However, a lone hand wins
five tricks,
55
00:02:43,197 --> 00:02:44,731
"that's worth four points.
56
00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:49,203
Many euchre games are scored
by rubber points, as in whist."
57
00:02:49,269 --> 00:02:52,206
Ooh, ooh. "The first side
to win two games
58
00:02:52,306 --> 00:02:54,942
- wins the rubber."
59
00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:57,644
"The dealer has the right
to exchange
60
00:02:57,744 --> 00:02:59,079
any turned-up card..."
61
00:02:59,146 --> 00:03:01,048
Oh, my God, it's the same.
62
00:03:01,114 --> 00:03:03,083
"If the face-up card
is a jack,
63
00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:04,618
- it's considered bad luck
for..."
64
00:03:04,718 --> 00:03:08,255
"After two rounds, if no
trump suit has been declared
65
00:03:08,322 --> 00:03:10,557
"and the 'stick-the-dealer' rule
is not in effect,
66
00:03:10,624 --> 00:03:13,260
then the cards are collected
and reshuffled."
67
00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:15,829
Family Guy is brought to you
by contract bridge.
68
00:03:15,896 --> 00:03:17,431
Way simpler than euchre.
69
00:03:17,497 --> 00:03:20,234
You see, in contract bridge,
each player is dealt 13 cards
70
00:03:20,334 --> 00:03:22,169
from a standard 52-card deck.
71
00:03:22,236 --> 00:03:23,804
A trick starts
when a player leads,
72
00:03:23,904 --> 00:03:25,439
i.e. plays the first card.
73
00:03:25,506 --> 00:03:29,109
The leader to the first trick
is determined by the auction.
74
00:03:31,945 --> 00:03:33,280
So, what do you think, gang?
75
00:03:33,347 --> 00:03:35,782
I thought it could be
a fun family activity
76
00:03:35,916 --> 00:03:37,718
if we had a make-your-own-pizza
night.
77
00:03:37,784 --> 00:03:39,286
Or we could order Domino's.
78
00:03:39,353 --> 00:03:41,588
No, come on, this'll be fun.
79
00:03:41,655 --> 00:03:43,257
Everyone gets their own crust,
80
00:03:43,323 --> 00:03:47,127
and you can choose from any
of the items I put out, huh?
81
00:03:47,194 --> 00:03:51,064
It could be olives,
it could be peppers.
82
00:03:51,131 --> 00:03:54,601
And for the risk takers, I even
put out some pineapple.
83
00:03:54,668 --> 00:03:57,671
You can put anything you want
on your pizza.
84
00:03:57,738 --> 00:04:01,441
Yeah, I'm putting a Domino's
pizza on my pizza.
85
00:04:01,508 --> 00:04:03,577
Domino's-- we're both terrible
86
00:04:03,677 --> 00:04:05,612
and better than your pizza.
87
00:04:09,716 --> 00:04:12,319
Ah, this is nice, huh?
88
00:04:12,352 --> 00:04:14,454
Oh, it's so good to get
the whole family
89
00:04:14,521 --> 00:04:17,958
out of the house and see Quahog
from a different perspective.
90
00:04:18,058 --> 00:04:19,760
It's a little tight.
91
00:04:19,860 --> 00:04:23,096
- So, how'd you get into
hot-air ballooning?
92
00:04:23,130 --> 00:04:25,098
They don't do background checks.
93
00:04:25,199 --> 00:04:28,936
Oh. What are we
flying over now?
94
00:04:29,002 --> 00:04:30,370
My ex-wife's house.
95
00:04:30,470 --> 00:04:34,074
If you have any garbage
or little bags of cat poo,
96
00:04:34,174 --> 00:04:36,276
you can drop them now.
97
00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:40,214
Did you know restraining orders
only go side to side?
98
00:04:40,314 --> 00:04:42,683
They don't go up and down.
99
00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:47,988
Well, there's got to be
one thing we can all
100
00:04:48,088 --> 00:04:49,456
enjoy together as a family.
101
00:04:49,523 --> 00:04:51,325
You know, I think we're
trying too hard.
102
00:04:51,358 --> 00:04:53,227
When I was a kid
we did movie nights,
103
00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:55,495
and it was the Holy Grail
of family fun.
104
00:04:55,596 --> 00:04:58,131
- I'd watch a movie
- I'd watch a porn movie.
105
00:04:58,198 --> 00:04:59,533
No, a family movie.
106
00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:01,435
I'd watch a MILF porn movie.
107
00:05:01,502 --> 00:05:03,804
Okay, technically
that's accurate, but no porn.
108
00:05:03,904 --> 00:05:06,773
All right, let's fire up
Amazon or Netflix.
109
00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:08,075
No streaming services.
110
00:05:08,175 --> 00:05:09,576
They've ruined how
we watch movies.
111
00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:11,812
I'm talking about
an old-school movie night
112
00:05:11,912 --> 00:05:13,914
where we rent one
from Blockbuster.
113
00:05:14,014 --> 00:05:16,283
Some of my best
childhood memories were when
114
00:05:16,350 --> 00:05:18,151
I went to rent a video
with my dad.
115
00:05:18,252 --> 00:05:19,586
Him and I never really
got along,
116
00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:22,356
but the one place where we did
was Blockbuster.
117
00:05:22,422 --> 00:05:24,491
He'd let me pick out
any snack I wanted
118
00:05:24,525 --> 00:05:26,493
while he grabbed our
fifth-choice movie
119
00:05:26,593 --> 00:05:28,629
because we got there too late
to get the good ones.
120
00:05:28,695 --> 00:05:29,930
But that was part of it,
121
00:05:30,030 --> 00:05:31,265
because it wasn't
about the movie,
122
00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:33,333
it was about the night
you spent together.
123
00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:35,536
I think renting a movie's
a great idea.
124
00:05:35,636 --> 00:05:36,537
Let's do it.
125
00:05:36,637 --> 00:05:37,771
So it's settled.
126
00:05:37,871 --> 00:05:38,939
The Griffins are making it
127
00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:40,240
a Blockbuster night.
128
00:05:40,307 --> 00:05:43,043
When we get there,
I'll give you 20 bucks to say,
129
00:05:43,076 --> 00:05:45,746
"I've heard Magic Mike is good."
130
00:05:49,983 --> 00:05:52,753
Huh. This used to be
the Blockbuster.
131
00:05:52,819 --> 00:05:54,922
Oh, man, it's gone.
132
00:05:54,988 --> 00:05:56,023
Were you also looking for...
133
00:05:56,089 --> 00:05:58,025
Very tall prostitute, yes.
134
00:05:58,091 --> 00:05:59,359
Is that what you were
going to say?
135
00:05:59,459 --> 00:06:02,095
She used to hang out here--
hands like a palm leaf.
136
00:06:02,229 --> 00:06:05,199
She would do sex but also help
with light bulbs and stuff.
137
00:06:05,265 --> 00:06:08,035
I think her name was Phillip.
138
00:06:08,101 --> 00:06:10,537
I see some of my students
in your car.
139
00:06:10,604 --> 00:06:12,539
That's good for me.
140
00:06:13,307 --> 00:06:15,042
I'm sure there's one
still open.
141
00:06:15,108 --> 00:06:16,109
I'll just google it.
142
00:06:16,176 --> 00:06:19,513
Eh, I got to type in my code
'cause I got too fat
143
00:06:19,613 --> 00:06:22,749
- for the facial recognition
to work.
- Brutal.
144
00:06:22,816 --> 00:06:24,685
Oh, good. See?
There is one still open.
145
00:06:24,751 --> 00:06:27,321
Drive north for a quarter
of a mile,
146
00:06:27,454 --> 00:06:29,489
then turn left
onto Highway 20.
147
00:06:29,590 --> 00:06:32,960
Continue straight
for 2,980 miles.
148
00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:34,194
- What?!
- Oh, yeah.
149
00:06:34,328 --> 00:06:35,963
The last Blockbuster
in existence
150
00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:37,531
is in Bend, Oregon.
151
00:06:37,631 --> 00:06:40,334
Did I not say that?
Strap in, everybody,
152
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,769
the Griffins are going
on a road trip.
153
00:06:42,870 --> 00:06:45,639
Well, it looks like
the family Griffin
154
00:06:45,706 --> 00:06:49,576
is headed off down Holiday Road.
155
00:06:54,281 --> 00:06:58,118
And Lindsey Buckingham
has said no.
156
00:06:58,185 --> 00:06:59,820
Well, that's all right.
157
00:06:59,887 --> 00:07:01,855
I reckon, if you're
a man named Lindsey,
158
00:07:01,955 --> 00:07:04,224
you don't get to call
the shots very often.
159
00:07:09,963 --> 00:07:11,498
Peter, this is crazy.
160
00:07:11,565 --> 00:07:14,902
We can't drive 3,000 miles
just to rent a movie.
161
00:07:14,968 --> 00:07:16,270
Would you please turn around?
162
00:07:16,336 --> 00:07:18,572
Lois, the whole family fun thing
was your idea.
163
00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:20,474
Don't get mad at me
'cause I'm following through.
164
00:07:20,541 --> 00:07:23,043
But I only have
one pair of underwear.
165
00:07:23,143 --> 00:07:24,645
Oh, that's not a problem.
I got tons of
166
00:07:24,678 --> 00:07:25,979
women's underwear in the back.
167
00:07:26,079 --> 00:07:28,282
:
Why, why do you have that?
168
00:07:28,382 --> 00:07:29,183
Tons of it.
169
00:07:29,249 --> 00:07:31,251
Don't we have a say
in all this, Dad?
170
00:07:31,318 --> 00:07:33,320
Yeah, we don't want to drive
all the way to Oregon.
171
00:07:33,387 --> 00:07:34,955
Aw, it's gonna be fun, guys.
172
00:07:35,022 --> 00:07:36,557
We're gonna see
the whole country,
173
00:07:36,657 --> 00:07:37,424
like we're in one of those
174
00:07:37,491 --> 00:07:39,459
Bruce Springsteen Jeep commercials.
175
00:07:39,593 --> 00:07:42,629
America is made up
of a lot of states.
176
00:07:42,729 --> 00:07:45,966
Some of them really stink,
but some of them don't stink.
177
00:07:46,033 --> 00:07:47,935
- So buy a Jeep.
178
00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:50,804
They flip easy,
but you'll be okay.
179
00:07:50,871 --> 00:07:52,739
Probably be okay.
180
00:07:54,541 --> 00:07:56,710
One of the perks
of a cross-country trip
181
00:07:56,777 --> 00:07:59,546
is stopping for a meal
and meeting the friendly folks
182
00:07:59,580 --> 00:08:02,816
who make up the heart and soul
of our country.
183
00:08:02,916 --> 00:08:04,918
Hello, we're from the Northeast.
184
00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:11,959
Okay, then.
185
00:08:12,025 --> 00:08:14,628
:
We'll do 55 pancakes to go.
186
00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:20,234
:
Trump!
187
00:08:21,368 --> 00:08:23,303
- Trump!
- Trump!
188
00:08:24,071 --> 00:08:25,606
- Trump.
- Trump.
189
00:08:25,706 --> 00:08:27,641
- Trump!
- Trump!
- Trump!
190
00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:32,045
- Trump!
- Trump!
191
00:08:37,251 --> 00:08:40,020
- Trump!
- Trump!
- Trump...
192
00:08:48,896 --> 00:08:51,265
I'm not getting any service.
193
00:08:51,331 --> 00:08:52,766
- Where are we?
- Hey, I don't know.
194
00:08:52,833 --> 00:08:55,536
But we can figure it out
by which radio stations come in.
195
00:08:57,271 --> 00:09:00,841
You're listening
to G-U-N-S AM radio.
196
00:09:00,941 --> 00:09:03,177
All guns all the time.
197
00:09:03,277 --> 00:09:05,112
- Is the caller there?
198
00:09:05,179 --> 00:09:07,114
Ha, ha, I couldn't agree more.
199
00:09:07,181 --> 00:09:08,782
Sounds like we're
somewhere between
200
00:09:08,849 --> 00:09:10,117
Washington and Washington.
201
00:09:10,184 --> 00:09:12,553
Well, we got to almost
be there, right?
202
00:09:12,653 --> 00:09:13,754
A few more hours.
203
00:09:13,820 --> 00:09:15,022
Trust me, it'll all be worth it
204
00:09:15,088 --> 00:09:16,790
once we walk into that store.
205
00:09:16,823 --> 00:09:18,225
Plus, I'll be able
to finally return
206
00:09:18,292 --> 00:09:19,993
this copy of Ladyhawke.
207
00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:23,530
You remembered
to rewind that, right?
208
00:09:36,743 --> 00:09:38,645
You know what I'm thinking,
Peter?
209
00:09:38,745 --> 00:09:40,981
Instead of going to Blockbuster,
we drive right into
210
00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:42,783
the first pond we see.
211
00:09:42,850 --> 00:09:44,785
It'll be a quicker death
than this trip.
212
00:09:44,852 --> 00:09:47,454
Guys, look.
213
00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:53,260
Ah! Oh, my God, it's real.
214
00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:55,195
We made it.
215
00:09:58,565 --> 00:10:00,801
Well, I suppose I should be
the responsible one
216
00:10:00,901 --> 00:10:03,237
and release all the car farts.
217
00:10:04,671 --> 00:10:07,474
You're free now. Go.
218
00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:13,480
I said go!
219
00:10:27,594 --> 00:10:28,762
Here it is, guys.
220
00:10:28,795 --> 00:10:31,198
This is where kids would come
every Friday night
221
00:10:31,265 --> 00:10:33,133
and see their teacher
wearing jeans.
222
00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:36,003
Dad, who's Christian Slater?
223
00:10:36,069 --> 00:10:39,406
Some actors never made it
out of Blockbuster, Chris.
224
00:10:43,243 --> 00:10:44,778
Sliver. Fun movie.
225
00:10:44,878 --> 00:10:46,947
Yeah, it's Sharon Stone,
so it's nudity
226
00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:48,515
moms will put up with.
227
00:10:50,117 --> 00:10:53,320
Hmm, it looks like you have
a late fee for Ladyhawke.
228
00:10:53,420 --> 00:10:55,789
Ah, no problem.
How much is it?
229
00:10:55,889 --> 00:10:59,626
$32,419.
230
00:10:59,693 --> 00:11:03,197
Look, uh, we traveled
a really long way to get here,
231
00:11:03,263 --> 00:11:05,599
and I kind of promised
my family a movie night.
232
00:11:05,666 --> 00:11:08,268
Oh. Then the plot
just got interesting.
233
00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:10,170
Where are you on your journey?
234
00:11:10,270 --> 00:11:11,672
About the end of act two?
235
00:11:11,738 --> 00:11:13,540
I read a lot
of screenplay books.
236
00:11:13,607 --> 00:11:15,709
There's got to be some way
we can work this out.
237
00:11:15,776 --> 00:11:18,445
Sorry, but we're pretty strict
about our late fees.
238
00:11:18,512 --> 00:11:21,515
We kind of blew up our
whole company for 'em.
239
00:11:21,582 --> 00:11:23,650
So, no money, no rental.
240
00:11:23,684 --> 00:11:25,652
Uh, $32,000, you say?
241
00:11:25,719 --> 00:11:29,056
I don't have that on my person.
242
00:11:31,558 --> 00:11:35,796
♪ Hands ♪
243
00:11:35,896 --> 00:11:39,867
♪ Touching hands ♪
244
00:11:39,967 --> 00:11:42,503
♪ Reaching out ♪
245
00:11:43,837 --> 00:11:45,973
♪ Touching me ♪
246
00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:47,274
♪ Touching you. ♪
247
00:11:47,341 --> 00:11:50,043
Ah, here it comes.
All together now...
248
00:11:50,110 --> 00:11:52,346
- Drive, Lois, drive!
249
00:11:56,750 --> 00:11:58,051
Nothing worse than a case
250
00:11:58,151 --> 00:11:59,653
of Neil Diamond blue balls.
Am I right?
251
00:12:09,563 --> 00:12:11,031
Peter, just pull over.
252
00:12:11,098 --> 00:12:13,066
We can talk to them
and figure this out.
253
00:12:13,133 --> 00:12:15,269
No. A high-speed chase
is preferred
254
00:12:15,335 --> 00:12:18,038
- over small talk
with an employee. Aah!
255
00:12:18,105 --> 00:12:20,140
I hear Magic Mike is good.
256
00:12:20,174 --> 00:12:22,276
Way too late, dude.
257
00:12:24,912 --> 00:12:25,846
I can lose these guys.
258
00:12:25,913 --> 00:12:28,315
Chris, pour me out a handful
of those Runts.
259
00:12:28,448 --> 00:12:30,484
How's eating candy
gonna help us?
260
00:12:30,584 --> 00:12:32,986
Runts are the hardest candy
in the world.
261
00:12:33,053 --> 00:12:35,489
They're not for eating,
they're for hucking.
262
00:12:39,393 --> 00:12:41,395
Meg, there's a stack of posters
in the back.
263
00:12:41,495 --> 00:12:43,697
We can throw 'em out the car
and blind 'em.
264
00:12:43,797 --> 00:12:45,365
Just run the posters
by me first.
265
00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:46,900
- Judge Dredd?
- Nah, keep that one.
266
00:12:46,967 --> 00:12:48,068
I want to put it
in the basement.
267
00:12:48,135 --> 00:12:49,236
- Cool World?
- Keep.
268
00:12:49,336 --> 00:12:50,737
- Milk Money?
- Uh, keep.
269
00:12:50,804 --> 00:12:52,105
These are all terrible movies.
270
00:12:52,206 --> 00:12:54,208
Just throw one out.
271
00:12:56,376 --> 00:12:57,945
You know, that movie
still holds up.
272
00:12:58,011 --> 00:12:59,613
It didn't hold up then.
273
00:13:02,983 --> 00:13:05,352
It worked. We lost them.
274
00:13:05,485 --> 00:13:09,156
Yes! No one ruins
a Griffin family fun day.
275
00:13:09,223 --> 00:13:11,058
Who wants a turnaround
high five?
276
00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:12,492
Dad, watch the road!
277
00:13:17,965 --> 00:13:20,434
Is everyone okay?
278
00:13:20,534 --> 00:13:21,869
I swallowed my retainer,
279
00:13:21,935 --> 00:13:24,438
but I'll do a little
stool fishing later.
280
00:13:29,109 --> 00:13:31,211
Oh, they're still after us.
We got to run.
281
00:13:43,724 --> 00:13:46,059
Give up. We got you.
It's over.
282
00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:47,961
Well, actually it's not.
283
00:13:48,028 --> 00:13:51,098
I think this might be
the "all is lost" moment.
284
00:13:51,198 --> 00:13:53,166
- What?
- You know, it seems over
285
00:13:53,233 --> 00:13:55,469
because there's an
insurmountable obstacle
286
00:13:55,569 --> 00:13:57,371
in their way,
but instead of giving up,
287
00:13:57,504 --> 00:13:58,338
they double down.
288
00:13:58,405 --> 00:14:00,674
- Lois, we got to jump.
- See?
289
00:14:00,741 --> 00:14:02,042
The fall will kill us.
290
00:14:02,176 --> 00:14:03,911
I've seen Rambo
jump from higher.
291
00:14:04,011 --> 00:14:06,547
I think if we jump
it'll cut to that scene.
292
00:14:06,613 --> 00:14:07,781
Peter, that's crazy.
293
00:14:07,881 --> 00:14:08,782
Do you trust me?
294
00:14:08,882 --> 00:14:09,917
- No!
295
00:14:23,564 --> 00:14:25,599
Oh, what the hell?
296
00:14:39,980 --> 00:14:41,548
- I told you.
- I know.
297
00:14:41,615 --> 00:14:43,050
Peter Griffin, PhD.
298
00:14:43,183 --> 00:14:44,818
Petty, heavy dope.
299
00:14:44,918 --> 00:14:46,920
Wow, she really had that
locked and loaded.
300
00:14:46,987 --> 00:14:48,655
This is crazy.
Those guys are trying to kill us
301
00:14:48,755 --> 00:14:50,090
because of a late movie.
302
00:14:50,157 --> 00:14:51,225
We should just call
the police.
303
00:14:51,325 --> 00:14:53,093
Oh, look who's already
walking back
304
00:14:53,193 --> 00:14:54,962
their "Defund the Police"
stance.
305
00:14:55,028 --> 00:14:56,330
Little different
when it's real life
306
00:14:56,430 --> 00:14:59,199
and not trying to impress
Alyssa Milano on Twitter. Hmm?
307
00:14:59,299 --> 00:15:02,035
Oh, this is not good.
It's gonna get dark soon.
308
00:15:02,102 --> 00:15:03,604
- We need a plan.
- Don't worry.
309
00:15:03,704 --> 00:15:04,938
We can hike back to the car
310
00:15:05,038 --> 00:15:06,173
and call for help
from the road.
311
00:15:06,273 --> 00:15:07,541
We're gonna get through this.
312
00:15:07,674 --> 00:15:08,809
Now, before we head off,
313
00:15:08,876 --> 00:15:10,043
I'm gonna divvy out
our rations.
314
00:15:10,110 --> 00:15:12,179
I'll start with this pack
of Starbursts.
315
00:15:12,279 --> 00:15:15,616
There's pink for you,
orange for you, red for me,
316
00:15:15,682 --> 00:15:19,353
yellow for you, pink for you,
red for me...
317
00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:21,221
You keep giving yourself
all the reds.
318
00:15:21,288 --> 00:15:23,190
It's just completely random.
I'm just going in order.
319
00:15:23,257 --> 00:15:24,358
I can't help where
I'm standing.
320
00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:26,426
Okay, where was I?
Yellow for Chris,
321
00:15:26,493 --> 00:15:28,462
- red for me...
- You did it again.
322
00:15:28,562 --> 00:15:30,297
Okay, y-you know,
I tried being fair,
323
00:15:30,364 --> 00:15:32,599
but now I'm just gonna
lick all the reds.
324
00:15:32,699 --> 00:15:35,569
Now they have to be mine.
Next food-- Spree.
325
00:15:35,669 --> 00:15:39,506
Green for you, orange for you,
red for me!
326
00:15:46,513 --> 00:15:48,015
I think we're lost.
327
00:15:48,081 --> 00:15:49,683
We're gonna die out here.
328
00:15:49,750 --> 00:15:51,385
Guys, we can't give up now.
329
00:15:51,485 --> 00:15:53,187
We can and I shall.
330
00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:56,089
I'm gonna close my eyes
and go to my happy place,
331
00:15:56,190 --> 00:15:59,560
being screamed at by children
while playing Fortnite.
332
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:02,563
No, your mom's a whore.
333
00:16:02,629 --> 00:16:04,231
Wait, guys, look.
334
00:16:04,298 --> 00:16:06,967
I think I see a cabin.
335
00:16:10,170 --> 00:16:13,207
It is a cabin.
We're saved.
336
00:16:13,273 --> 00:16:15,676
You can't say that word, Brayden.
337
00:16:15,776 --> 00:16:18,245
None of you can say that word.
338
00:16:26,119 --> 00:16:27,754
Look, there's a radio.
We can...
339
00:16:27,821 --> 00:16:29,489
Watch Sliver on that VCR.
340
00:16:29,590 --> 00:16:31,992
What? No.
We need to call for help.
341
00:16:32,059 --> 00:16:33,193
We can do both.
342
00:16:33,327 --> 00:16:35,128
I am not gonna give up
on this movie night
343
00:16:35,195 --> 00:16:36,597
like we gave up on our marriage.
344
00:16:36,630 --> 00:16:39,466
Four therapy sessions is enough
to know where it's headed.
345
00:16:39,533 --> 00:16:42,135
There's a map on the wall
with government buildings
346
00:16:42,202 --> 00:16:43,737
connected by strings.
347
00:16:43,804 --> 00:16:45,072
Look, I know this hasn't been
348
00:16:45,172 --> 00:16:46,440
the easiest couple
of days, guys,
349
00:16:46,507 --> 00:16:49,109
but it'll all be worth it
once I put this tape in.
350
00:16:49,209 --> 00:16:51,879
I present to you Sliver.
351
00:16:51,979 --> 00:16:53,981
And it's Sliders, season two.
352
00:16:54,081 --> 00:16:56,617
Classic Blockbuster blunder.
353
00:16:58,352 --> 00:17:01,655
Oh, good. You numbskulls put
the wrong movie in here.
354
00:17:01,755 --> 00:17:02,823
I want a refund.
355
00:17:02,923 --> 00:17:05,058
Everybody outside now.
356
00:17:05,092 --> 00:17:06,126
I can't believe this.
357
00:17:06,193 --> 00:17:08,295
All I was trying to do was
have a nice movie night
358
00:17:08,362 --> 00:17:11,031
with my family, and you guys
keep ruining it.
359
00:17:11,098 --> 00:17:14,334
Wow, this is very similar
to a screenplay I wrote.
360
00:17:14,401 --> 00:17:17,037
This guy is too into movies.
361
00:17:17,104 --> 00:17:18,505
Remember, the one
I had you read
362
00:17:18,572 --> 00:17:21,775
that was like Love Actually
meets Independence Day?
363
00:17:21,842 --> 00:17:23,911
Uh, yeah, sure, I remember.
364
00:17:23,977 --> 00:17:25,979
- You didn't read it?
- I'm gonna.
365
00:17:26,079 --> 00:17:29,216
Don't be mad at me.
Be mad at, you know, these guys.
366
00:17:29,316 --> 00:17:31,785
I'm sorry, kids,
all I wanted to do
367
00:17:31,885 --> 00:17:33,554
was something special
with you guys.
368
00:17:33,620 --> 00:17:35,889
That one thing you'd remember
doing with me
369
00:17:35,956 --> 00:17:38,458
for the rest of your lives,
but I failed.
370
00:17:38,559 --> 00:17:41,828
Another failure in
a long string of failures.
371
00:17:41,929 --> 00:17:43,330
Are you kidding, Dad?
372
00:17:43,430 --> 00:17:46,466
- This has been the most
exciting day ever.
- It has?
373
00:17:46,533 --> 00:17:49,937
Yeah. We left the house
three days ago to rent a movie
374
00:17:50,003 --> 00:17:52,372
and now we're in the middle
of the woods in Oregon
375
00:17:52,472 --> 00:17:54,908
and might get murdered
by Blockbuster guys.
376
00:17:54,975 --> 00:17:56,577
Like, what is this?
377
00:17:56,610 --> 00:17:58,946
Yeah, we never know
what you're gonna do.
378
00:17:59,046 --> 00:18:01,215
It's usually silly or dangerous,
379
00:18:01,281 --> 00:18:03,183
but it's also kind of awesome.
380
00:18:03,250 --> 00:18:05,219
Yeah. Remember when he had
tiny arms
381
00:18:05,319 --> 00:18:07,955
- for, like, three months?
- Or when he brought home
that horse.
382
00:18:08,088 --> 00:18:10,524
Or that falcon.
Or that parrot.
383
00:18:10,557 --> 00:18:12,359
Lot of illegal animals.
384
00:18:12,459 --> 00:18:14,995
Or when that little guy
lived in his neck.
385
00:18:15,095 --> 00:18:16,930
What the hell was that?
386
00:18:16,997 --> 00:18:19,066
Every few years
he fights a giant chicken
387
00:18:19,132 --> 00:18:20,133
and destroys a city.
388
00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:22,135
No one's named
a good thing yet.
389
00:18:22,202 --> 00:18:24,571
You had a blimp
with your face on it.
390
00:18:24,638 --> 00:18:27,174
Your mother put me on pills
after I bought that.
391
00:18:27,241 --> 00:18:29,676
You see, Dad, we don't need
a movie night
392
00:18:29,743 --> 00:18:31,111
for us to remember you.
393
00:18:31,178 --> 00:18:34,314
Every day is like
a movie night with you.
394
00:18:38,085 --> 00:18:40,287
Well, I guess Mom knew
what she was doing
395
00:18:40,354 --> 00:18:43,056
when she insisted on
family fun day.
396
00:18:43,190 --> 00:18:45,459
Super sweet moment, guys.
397
00:18:45,559 --> 00:18:47,794
I'm gonna assume
this was all a callback
398
00:18:47,861 --> 00:18:49,162
to something in act one.
399
00:18:49,229 --> 00:18:52,533
Time to go outside now.
400
00:18:55,169 --> 00:18:58,338
Guys, please, I'm the one
with the late fees.
401
00:18:58,438 --> 00:19:00,707
Don't hurt my family.
I'll do anything.
402
00:19:00,774 --> 00:19:03,944
Well, I have this screenplay,
it-it's an epic sci-fi,
403
00:19:04,011 --> 00:19:06,513
and it's mostly stage directions
where they...
404
00:19:06,647 --> 00:19:07,681
Just kill us!
405
00:19:09,950 --> 00:19:12,119
What the hell?!
406
00:19:28,702 --> 00:19:31,538
Amazon drones?
You saved us.
407
00:19:31,605 --> 00:19:36,410
Once again a streaming service
annihilates a Blockbuster.
408
00:19:36,443 --> 00:19:37,244
Wa-boosh.
409
00:19:37,311 --> 00:19:39,580
How did you even know
we were here?
410
00:19:39,646 --> 00:19:43,250
Based on your recent purchases,
viewing habits and stored data,
411
00:19:43,317 --> 00:19:45,052
we determined that you were
being chased
412
00:19:45,118 --> 00:19:46,820
through the wilderness
by the last two
413
00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:48,755
Blockbuster employees on Earth.
414
00:19:48,822 --> 00:19:50,157
Wow. Scary.
415
00:19:50,224 --> 00:19:52,459
I owe you an apology, Amazon.
416
00:19:52,526 --> 00:19:54,928
You're a pretty amazing service
after all.
417
00:19:54,995 --> 00:19:59,333
DRONE 2:
Yes, I agree. Amazon workers
should not unionize.
418
00:19:59,399 --> 00:20:00,367
I-I didn't--
I didn't say that.
419
00:20:00,467 --> 00:20:02,936
Well, they sure can play dumb
when they want to.
420
00:20:03,036 --> 00:20:04,938
Please stop spying on us, Alexa.
421
00:20:05,072 --> 00:20:07,307
Okay. Playing holiday music now.
422
00:20:07,374 --> 00:20:11,211
♪ And since we've no place
to go ♪
423
00:20:11,311 --> 00:20:15,082
♪ Let it snow, let it snow,
let it snow. ♪
424
00:20:20,654 --> 00:20:23,323
Well, that Blockbuster adventure
sure was fun,
425
00:20:23,390 --> 00:20:25,058
but we should probably just
watch movies
426
00:20:25,158 --> 00:20:25,993
at home from now on.
427
00:20:26,093 --> 00:20:27,828
You know, Dad,
while we were flying home,
428
00:20:27,895 --> 00:20:30,497
I did order something
special for you.
429
00:20:30,597 --> 00:20:34,034
Sliver! We can still do
our old-school movie night.
430
00:20:34,101 --> 00:20:35,569
I'll hook up the VCR.
431
00:20:37,671 --> 00:20:39,406
Aw, damn it, we can't watch it.
432
00:20:39,473 --> 00:20:40,908
I don't have the right
adaptor cable.
433
00:20:41,008 --> 00:20:42,910
The last Circuit City
in the U. S.
434
00:20:42,976 --> 00:20:45,712
is in St. Augustine, Florida.
435
00:20:45,779 --> 00:20:49,082
- Let's go.
436
00:20:49,183 --> 00:20:50,517
I'll start the car.
437
00:20:50,584 --> 00:20:53,320
Looks like the Griffins are
at it again.
438
00:20:53,387 --> 00:20:56,757
Hi, I'm Jeff Bezos,
and I'm rich and bald.
439
00:20:56,857 --> 00:20:59,626
Guess which one matters.
Good night.
32885
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
