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1
00:00:31,410 --> 00:00:33,810
YOU'RE GUILTY, I SAY.
GUILTY!
2
00:00:37,010 --> 00:00:38,010
I WAS THERE TONIGHT.
3
00:00:38,010 --> 00:00:41,010
I SAW THE BODY.
AND I SAW IT FALL.
4
00:00:41,210 --> 00:00:45,010
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE A HARD TIME
MAKING THIS STICK, INSPECTOR.
5
00:00:48,210 --> 00:00:51,410
ALL RIGHT, SO THE STRAP BROKE
AND IT FELL OFF.
6
00:00:51,610 --> 00:00:53,610
IT'S NOT OUR FAULT
OR THE GIRL'S.
7
00:00:53,810 --> 00:00:56,410
5 MURDERS IN LONDON,
RIGHT, IN A WEEK,
8
00:00:56,610 --> 00:00:57,410
AND HE'S WORRIED
ABOUT A BROKEN G-STRING.
9
00:00:57,410 --> 00:00:59,410
NOT IN MY PARISH!
10
00:00:59,610 --> 00:01:00,410
NONE OF THOSE MURDERS
HAPPENED IN SOHO.
11
00:01:00,610 --> 00:01:03,610
THAT'S ALL I CARE ABOUT.
12
00:01:03,810 --> 00:01:06,810
SO JUST YOU KEEP THAT FILTHY
SEWER OF YOURS CLEAN.
13
00:01:06,810 --> 00:01:09,610
WE RUN A LEGITIMATE SEWER!
A CLUB!
14
00:01:09,610 --> 00:01:12,210
LEGITIMATE?
THE SALT & PEPPER CLUB? HA!
15
00:01:12,410 --> 00:01:15,410
WHERE DID YOU GET
THE CAPITAL TO START IT, EH?
16
00:01:15,610 --> 00:01:17,410
THAT'S A LIE.CLUB!
17
00:01:17,610 --> 00:01:20,410
IT'S MORE LIKE A HAVEN
FOR HALF-NUDE HARPIES!
18
00:01:20,610 --> 00:01:23,410
OH, NOW, INSPECTOR,
THINK OF IT
MORE AS A MISSION.
19
00:01:23,410 --> 00:01:25,010
WE'VE GIVEN
THOSE GIRLS A HOME.
20
00:01:25,210 --> 00:01:27,010
THAT'S QUITE ENOUGH
OF YOUR CHEEK, MR. SALT!
21
00:01:27,210 --> 00:01:28,810
I'M PEPPER, HE'S SALT.
22
00:01:29,010 --> 00:01:30,210
ODD.ISN'T IT?
23
00:01:30,410 --> 00:01:34,010
QUIET! ONE MORE INFRACTION
AND YOU'VE HAD IT.
24
00:01:34,210 --> 00:01:35,610
I'LL HAVE THAT
CLUB OF YOURS CLOSED
25
00:01:35,610 --> 00:01:36,810
AND YOU TWO BEAUTIES
ON THE INSIDE. CLEAR?
26
00:01:38,610 --> 00:01:39,410
INSPECTOR,
27
00:01:39,410 --> 00:01:42,010
WHAT HAVE YOU
GOT AGAINST US, HUH?
28
00:01:42,210 --> 00:01:43,210
WHAT HAVE I GOT
AGAINST YOU?YEAH.
29
00:01:43,410 --> 00:01:44,610
YOU? YEAH.
30
00:01:44,610 --> 00:01:46,410
WELL, LOOK AT YOU.
YOUR HAIR ALL DOWN,
31
00:01:46,610 --> 00:01:47,410
AND YOU'RE WEARING
THAT FUNNY DRESS.
32
00:01:47,610 --> 00:01:51,210
WHY AREN'T YOU AT HOME
STARTING A RIOT, EH?
33
00:01:55,810 --> 00:01:57,410
AND WHAT ARE YOU
DOING WITH HIM, EH?
34
00:01:57,610 --> 00:01:59,810
I KNOW ALL ABOUT YOUR FATHER
BEING A LORD, YOU KNOW.
35
00:02:00,010 --> 00:02:02,210
EVERYONE IN LONDON KNOWS
THAT YOU'RE THE BLACK SHEEP.
36
00:02:02,410 --> 00:02:03,810
HERE, HERE.
37
00:02:03,810 --> 00:02:06,810
I BEG YOUR PARDON, LAD.
NOTHING PERSONAL.
38
00:02:07,010 --> 00:02:10,210
I EXPECT YOU'VE HEARD
OF UNSCRUPULOUS
POLICE METHODS.
39
00:02:10,210 --> 00:02:12,810
BUT ALMOST ALL SUCH STORIES
ARE UNTRUE.
40
00:02:12,810 --> 00:02:18,010
ONLY IN VERY
EXCEPTIONAL CASES
DO SUCH OFFICERS EXIST.
41
00:02:18,210 --> 00:02:21,010
AND I AM ONE OF THEM!
42
00:02:21,210 --> 00:02:23,410
TO ME, EVERYONE IN SOHO
IS GUILTY UNLESS
HE IS PROVED INNOCENT!
43
00:02:23,410 --> 00:02:25,610
I SHALL BULLY,
BROWBEAT, BLACKMAIL,
44
00:02:25,810 --> 00:02:28,410
BEND EVERY RULE,
LIE IN THE WITNESS BOX,
AND DO ANYTHING
45
00:02:28,610 --> 00:02:31,210
TO MAKE SURE
THAT THE POLICE PREVAIL!
46
00:02:31,410 --> 00:02:33,810
IS THAT CLEAR?
47
00:02:33,810 --> 00:02:35,410
MAKES YOU WANT TO JOIN UP,
DOESN'T HE?
48
00:02:35,610 --> 00:02:36,610
NOW GET OUT!
49
00:02:40,010 --> 00:02:41,610
MAY I HAVE THIS?
IT'S PART OF A MATCHING SET.
50
00:02:41,810 --> 00:02:42,810
OUT!
51
00:06:40,810 --> 00:06:43,010
THAT WAS CLOSE.
52
00:06:43,010 --> 00:06:44,410
NOW THE ONLY THING
WE HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT
IS INSP. CRABBE.
53
00:06:44,610 --> 00:06:46,210
OH, THAT'S NO PROBLEM.
WE'LL JUST HAVE
A NIGHTLY G-STRING CHECK.
54
00:06:46,210 --> 00:06:49,410
WELL,
I'LL TAKE CARE OF THAT.
55
00:06:49,410 --> 00:06:52,410
YES, YOU ARE ABOUT
THE RIGHT HEIGHT.
56
00:06:52,410 --> 00:06:53,810
WHAT DO YOU MEAN
BY THAT?
57
00:06:55,410 --> 00:06:57,610
HI, BILL.
58
00:06:57,810 --> 00:06:59,410
HELLO, CHARLIE.
HELLO, CHRIS.
59
00:06:59,410 --> 00:07:00,610
SEE THAT THIS
GETS HOME, WILL YOU?
60
00:07:00,810 --> 00:07:01,810
OH, SURE.
61
00:07:01,810 --> 00:07:02,810
ANY MESSAGES?
62
00:07:03,010 --> 00:07:04,210
CHARLIE, YOU KNOW
NO ONE EVER CALLS YOU.
63
00:07:16,610 --> 00:07:19,610
A VERY GOOD GROUP
IN TONIGHT.
64
00:07:19,810 --> 00:07:21,210
LORD SILVERSTONE,
AND MR. FISHER
WITH A PARTY OF 8.
65
00:07:21,410 --> 00:07:22,210
HMM. THERE.
66
00:07:22,410 --> 00:07:24,010
LOOK THERE.
67
00:07:24,210 --> 00:07:26,610
THE IMMOVABLE OBJECT
IS BACK.
68
00:07:26,610 --> 00:07:28,610
AND I BET YOU $1,
OLD BUDDY OF MINE,
69
00:07:28,810 --> 00:07:30,010
THAT YOU DON'T MAKE IT
WITH THAT LADY.
70
00:07:30,010 --> 00:07:31,410
MAKE IT 5 POUNDS.
71
00:07:31,410 --> 00:07:33,010
HI, CHRIS.
HOW ABOUT OUR DATE TONIGHT?
72
00:07:33,010 --> 00:07:34,010
GO CHECK IN.
73
00:07:36,210 --> 00:07:38,010
GOOD EVENING.
74
00:07:38,210 --> 00:07:41,210
OH, MR. PEPPER, ISN'T IT?
75
00:07:41,210 --> 00:07:42,610
NICE OF YOU
TO COME IN AGAIN.
76
00:07:42,610 --> 00:07:44,410
WELL, WE FIND
YOUR PARTNER'S ACT SO AMUSING.
77
00:07:44,610 --> 00:07:46,210
OH, IS THAT
THE ONLY REASON?
78
00:07:46,410 --> 00:07:48,610
NO. THE FOOD'S GOOD,
AND THE ATMOSPHERE
IS MARVELOUSLY DECADENT.
79
00:07:48,810 --> 00:07:50,810
IT'S EVEN BETTER
IN MY APARTMENT.
80
00:07:51,010 --> 00:07:52,410
PERHAPS WE COULD
HAVE A DRINK LATER.
81
00:07:52,610 --> 00:07:56,410
MR. PEPPER, IT'S VERY BORING
BEING CHASED AROUND A SOFA.
82
00:07:56,410 --> 00:07:58,410
SUPPOSE I GIVE YOU
A HEAD START?
83
00:07:59,810 --> 00:08:01,610
YOU'RE A VERY ATTRACTIVE MAN.
84
00:08:01,810 --> 00:08:03,810
THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN
TRYING TO TELL YOU.
85
00:08:04,010 --> 00:08:05,410
DO YOU MIND?NO.
86
00:08:05,610 --> 00:08:06,010
THANK YOU.
CHEERS.
87
00:08:06,210 --> 00:08:09,010
CHEERS.
88
00:08:09,010 --> 00:08:10,810
BUT I'M SURE
YOU'D DO ALMOST BETTER
WITH ANY OTHER WOMAN.
89
00:08:10,810 --> 00:08:13,610
OR DO YOU, UH,
THRIVE ON REJECTION?
90
00:08:14,610 --> 00:08:16,810
OH, CHARLES.DARLING.
91
00:08:16,810 --> 00:08:18,010
MR. PEPPER,
THIS IS LORD PONSONBY.
92
00:08:18,210 --> 00:08:20,810
MR. PEPPER.HOW DO YOU DO?
93
00:08:20,810 --> 00:08:21,810
AND THIS IS MR. SALT,
WHO IS THE REASON
WE COME TO THE CLUB.
94
00:08:22,010 --> 00:08:24,210
HE IS?
95
00:08:24,410 --> 00:08:25,410
HE IS.
96
00:08:26,810 --> 00:08:28,010
THIS WAY, DARLING.
97
00:08:31,010 --> 00:08:31,210
GIVE ME THE MONEY.
98
00:08:31,210 --> 00:08:34,610
ALL RIGHT.
99
00:08:34,610 --> 00:08:37,610
THAT LADY STAYS AROUND
LONG ENOUGH,
I'M GONNA RETIRE A RICH MAN.
100
00:08:37,810 --> 00:08:39,010
MR. SALT, MR. SALT, PLEASE,
YOU'RE LATE AGAIN.
101
00:08:39,210 --> 00:08:41,210
IT IS REALLY IMPOSSIBLE.
EVERYBODY IS WAITING.
102
00:08:41,210 --> 00:08:44,010
TA, TA, TA, TA, SHH,
LET ME SEE. AM I LATE?
103
00:08:45,210 --> 00:08:46,410
YOU ARE LATE.
104
00:08:46,610 --> 00:08:47,810
WHY ARE YOU KEEPING ME HERE,
TALKING TO ME,
105
00:08:48,010 --> 00:08:49,810
WHEN I SHOULD BE
ON THE STAGE?
106
00:08:51,410 --> 00:08:53,810
SAY, JANICE,
I WAS WONDERING.
107
00:08:53,810 --> 00:08:55,810
A FEW OF THE KIDS
ARE GETTING TOGETHER
AFTER THE SHOW. I THOUGHT--
108
00:08:55,810 --> 00:08:57,010
CHARLIE, I HAVE A DATE.
109
00:08:57,010 --> 00:08:59,810
OH, YOU HAVE A DATE.
MAYBE SOME OTHER TIME.
110
00:09:02,210 --> 00:09:05,210
JILL, DO YOU THINK
IT'S POSSIBLE IF WE ALL
GET TOGETHER,
111
00:09:05,410 --> 00:09:06,610
MAYBE WE COULD HAVE--
112
00:09:06,810 --> 00:09:08,010
MY FELLA
WOULDN'T LIKE IT.
113
00:09:08,210 --> 00:09:09,810
YOUR FELLA?MMM-HMM.
114
00:09:10,010 --> 00:09:11,210
THAT'S THE BIG GUY,
THAT'S THE BOXER.
115
00:09:11,210 --> 00:09:13,810
I DON'T THINK
HE'D BE TOO THRILLED.
116
00:09:16,410 --> 00:09:17,210
NO.
117
00:09:49,010 --> 00:09:51,010
THANK YOU,
AND GOOD EVENING. I...
118
00:10:20,010 --> 00:10:22,410
THANK YOU, THANK YOU,
THANK YOU, VERY, VERY MUCH.
119
00:10:22,610 --> 00:10:24,610
I WAS... NO,
YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE IT,
ANYWAY.
120
00:10:24,610 --> 00:10:26,610
MAY I WELCOME YOU,
FIRST OF ALL?
121
00:10:26,810 --> 00:10:29,610
MY--MY NAME IS--
IS CHARLES SALT
AND I OWN HALF OF THIS.
122
00:10:29,610 --> 00:10:31,210
I THINK THIS IS
ABOUT THE HALF I OWN.
123
00:10:32,610 --> 00:10:33,610
WE'LL DO A LITTLE THING HERE.
HERE WE GO.
124
00:10:33,610 --> 00:10:35,610
CAN I BORROW THIS?
125
00:10:35,810 --> 00:10:37,210
DON'T LEAVE,
WE'RE INTEGRATED!
126
00:10:37,210 --> 00:10:39,210
NO SERVING
WHILE I'M ON, PLEASE!
127
00:10:39,410 --> 00:10:42,410
PSST, PSST, I WANT YOUR NAME,
AND THEN YOUR RANK,
AND OUT!
128
00:11:12,610 --> 00:11:14,410
ARE YOU SURE
YOU CAN SEE WELL ENOUGH
FROM THERE?
129
00:11:14,610 --> 00:11:16,210
VERY WELL,
THANK YOU.
130
00:11:24,610 --> 00:11:26,610
LET'S GET A LITTLE
SOMETHING GOING ON HERE!
131
00:11:28,010 --> 00:11:29,210
AH, READY?
LET'S GO.
132
00:11:32,010 --> 00:11:35,210
SOMETHING TO REPORT,
MR. RACK?
133
00:11:35,410 --> 00:11:36,410
MAI LING IS DEAD, SIR.
134
00:11:36,410 --> 00:11:37,810
WELL DONE.
135
00:11:38,010 --> 00:11:40,410
BUT, UH, COL. WOODSTOCK...MMM?
136
00:11:40,610 --> 00:11:41,610
I--I HAD TO LEAVE HER BODY
IN THE CLUB, SIR.
137
00:11:41,810 --> 00:11:44,410
OH, NOT TO WORRY.
DID YOU FIND ANYTHING ON HER?
138
00:11:44,410 --> 00:11:46,610
ONLY THIS.AH.
139
00:11:46,610 --> 00:11:49,610
IT HAD BEEN FIRED,
AND STRAW HAS DISAPPEARED.
140
00:11:49,810 --> 00:11:51,410
NEVER SAW HIM
AFTER WE SPLIT UP
AT THE SALT & PEPPER CLUB.
141
00:11:51,610 --> 00:11:54,210
I SEE.
142
00:11:54,410 --> 00:11:56,410
WELL, THAT IS A LOOSE END,
MR. RACK.
143
00:11:56,610 --> 00:11:58,010
I DO NOT CONDONE LOOSE ENDS.
144
00:11:58,010 --> 00:12:00,610
NO, SIR.
145
00:12:00,810 --> 00:12:02,010
I SUGGEST THAT YOU
CHECK BACK THERE IMMEDIATELY.
146
00:12:04,610 --> 00:12:06,210
UH-OH.
147
00:12:06,410 --> 00:12:08,210
HI, THERE.
YOU WAITING FOR CHARLIE?
148
00:12:09,810 --> 00:12:12,810
HOLY LOCH...
149
00:12:12,810 --> 00:12:15,610
OH, NO, SWEETHEART,
THOSE ARE CARNATIONS,
NOT HOLLYHOCKS.
150
00:12:15,810 --> 00:12:18,410
JUNE 3.
151
00:12:18,410 --> 00:12:20,210
JUNE 3? YEAH, I'M SURE
THAT'LL BE ALL RIGHT.
152
00:12:20,210 --> 00:12:22,810
I'M FREE, I THINK.
153
00:12:23,010 --> 00:12:23,410
IF IT'S OK WITH CHARLIE.
154
00:12:27,410 --> 00:12:29,210
WHATEVER YOU'RE ON,
IT'S WORKING, ISN'T IT?
155
00:12:32,010 --> 00:12:34,210
WELL, WELL, WELL,
ARE YOU BUSY?
156
00:12:34,410 --> 00:12:35,610
NO. NONE OF THAT. NO.
SHE'S OUT OF IT.
SHE'S GROOVING.
157
00:12:35,810 --> 00:12:38,210
I FOUND HER HERE
ON YOUR CARPET.
158
00:12:38,210 --> 00:12:39,810
HEY, DO YOU THINK
MAYBE SOMEBODY
SENT US A GOODY?
159
00:12:40,010 --> 00:12:42,810
OH, WE'LL HAVE TO
SEND HER BACK UNOPENED.
160
00:12:43,010 --> 00:12:44,610
THIS GIRL IS REALLY
OUT OF IT.
161
00:12:45,210 --> 00:12:47,210
I WONDER WHO SHE IS.
162
00:12:47,410 --> 00:12:49,410
I DON'T KNOW.
LET'S HAVE A LOOK.
163
00:12:52,810 --> 00:12:55,810
"MAI LING,
21, CADOGAN CLOISTERS,
CHELSEA."
164
00:12:57,610 --> 00:12:59,410
TAKE MY ADVICE,
CALL THE LIMOUSINE SERVICE.
165
00:12:59,610 --> 00:13:03,010
HOME.HOME.
166
00:13:06,610 --> 00:13:07,410
GOOD EVENING, SIR.
167
00:13:09,210 --> 00:13:10,810
WHO HIRED THE NEW GIRL?
168
00:13:11,410 --> 00:13:11,810
WHO ELSE?
169
00:13:20,210 --> 00:13:21,610
BIG SPENDER.
170
00:13:25,410 --> 00:13:26,610
MORE CHIPS.
171
00:13:29,210 --> 00:13:31,210
IT'S MY TABLE.
IT'S ALL MINE.
172
00:13:31,410 --> 00:13:32,810
HIT ME.
173
00:13:33,610 --> 00:13:34,210
HIT ME.
174
00:13:35,410 --> 00:13:36,810
HIT ME.
175
00:13:36,810 --> 00:13:38,410
BUT--BUT SIR,
YOU'VE GONE OVER.
176
00:13:38,610 --> 00:13:39,610
HIT ME!
177
00:13:39,810 --> 00:13:40,810
HIT ME!
178
00:13:41,010 --> 00:13:42,210
BUT, SIR, UH...
179
00:13:42,210 --> 00:13:43,610
HIT ME!BUT--BUT, SIR--
180
00:13:43,610 --> 00:13:44,610
HIT ME.
181
00:13:45,610 --> 00:13:46,210
HIT ME.
182
00:13:46,810 --> 00:13:49,010
HIT ME.
183
00:13:49,210 --> 00:13:50,610
I JUST GOT A HELL OF AN IDEA
TO SAVE SOME MONEY
AROUND HERE.
184
00:13:50,810 --> 00:13:52,210
HOW?
185
00:13:52,210 --> 00:13:54,810
WITH DEALERS LIKE THAT,
WHO NEEDS CARDS?
186
00:14:18,410 --> 00:14:20,410
I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND IT.
187
00:14:20,610 --> 00:14:23,010
WHY SHE KEEPS GIVING ME
A HARD TIME.
188
00:14:23,010 --> 00:14:24,410
I KNOW THAT
SHE LIKES ME.
189
00:14:24,610 --> 00:14:26,210
THIS IS SOMETHING
YOU DON'T IMAGINE.
190
00:14:26,410 --> 00:14:28,610
BUT, CHRIS, YOU CAN IMAGINE
ANYTHING YOU WANT TO!
191
00:14:28,810 --> 00:14:32,010
I IMAGINED
THAT I SAW A DEAD BODY
IN MY CLOSET TONIGHT.
192
00:14:32,010 --> 00:14:33,810
WHY? BECAUSE I'M
ALLERGIC TO BODIES.
193
00:14:35,810 --> 00:14:38,210
I MEAN, I COULD BE CURED.
194
00:14:38,210 --> 00:14:40,010
I CAN SEE WHAT YOU MEAN.
195
00:14:46,010 --> 00:14:48,610
INSP. CRABBE IS HERE,
IN YOUR ROOM.
196
00:14:48,610 --> 00:14:49,210
WHAT? A G-STRING?
197
00:14:49,210 --> 00:14:50,210
NO. NOT THIS TIME.
198
00:14:50,410 --> 00:14:51,010
OH, HAPPY HOUR AGAIN.
199
00:14:58,410 --> 00:15:00,610
EXCUSE ME, MADAM.
200
00:15:14,410 --> 00:15:16,610
A REMARKABLE LIKENESS.
201
00:15:16,610 --> 00:15:18,010
WOULD YOU LIKE ME
TO SIGN IT?
202
00:15:21,810 --> 00:15:23,610
WAS A CHINESE CALL-GIRL
CALLED MAI LING HERE TONIGHT?
203
00:15:23,810 --> 00:15:26,010
WHAT DID SHE
LOOK LIKE?
204
00:15:26,210 --> 00:15:27,610
WHAT DO YOU EXPECT A CHINESE
CALL-GIRL TO LOOK LIKE?
WAS SHE HERE?
205
00:15:27,810 --> 00:15:28,610
YES, BUT WE GOT RID OF HER.
206
00:15:28,810 --> 00:15:29,810
YOU ADMIT IT?
207
00:15:30,010 --> 00:15:30,610
SHE WAS STONED.STABBED.
208
00:15:30,610 --> 00:15:31,410
WHAT?IN THE BACK.
209
00:15:31,410 --> 00:15:34,010
MURDER?THE VERY WORD.
210
00:15:35,210 --> 00:15:36,410
PRECISELY.
211
00:15:36,610 --> 00:15:38,410
WHO DID IT?ANY LEADS?
212
00:15:38,610 --> 00:15:40,610
WELL, I'M HERE,
AREN'T I?
213
00:15:40,610 --> 00:15:42,610
OH, NOW, WAIT A MINUTE,
INSPECTOR. I GO ALONG--
214
00:15:42,610 --> 00:15:45,610
SHE ARRIVED HOME DEAD
IN ONE OF YOUR CARS.
215
00:15:50,810 --> 00:15:53,010
D-D-DON'T LOOK AT ME.
SHE WAS FINE
WHEN SHE WAS HERE.
216
00:15:53,010 --> 00:15:56,810
DEFINE "FINE," MR. PEPPER.
217
00:15:56,810 --> 00:16:00,410
WELL, SHE REMARKED
ABOUT THOSE FLOWERS.
AND, UH...
218
00:16:00,410 --> 00:16:02,810
OH, YEAH.
SHE MADE A DATE WITH ME.
219
00:16:03,010 --> 00:16:06,410
COMMENTED ON
THE FLORAL DECORATIONS,
AND MADE AN ASSIGNATION
220
00:16:06,410 --> 00:16:07,810
WHILE BLEEDING
TO DEATH!
221
00:16:08,010 --> 00:16:10,010
I REPEAT, INSPECTOR,
SHE WAS FINE.
222
00:16:10,010 --> 00:16:12,410
STONED, BUT FINE.
223
00:16:12,410 --> 00:16:13,810
WALKIN' ABOUT
QUITE HAPPILY, EH?
224
00:16:13,810 --> 00:16:15,810
NO, LYING ABOUT QUITE HAPPILY,
AS IT HAPPENED.
225
00:16:16,010 --> 00:16:17,610
AS WHAT HAPPENED?
226
00:16:17,610 --> 00:16:20,210
WELL, SHE WAS LYING
ON THIS RUG...
227
00:16:20,210 --> 00:16:21,810
WELL, PEOPLE OFTEN...
228
00:16:23,810 --> 00:16:25,410
NO, THEY DON'T.
229
00:16:25,610 --> 00:16:26,010
ON THIS CARPET, EH?
230
00:16:41,210 --> 00:16:44,810
OH, WAIT A MINUTE,
HOLD ON.
231
00:16:44,810 --> 00:16:47,610
INSPECTOR, IF MY PARTNER
SAYS HE'S INNOCENT,
HE'S INNOCENT!
232
00:16:47,810 --> 00:16:50,010
AND REMEMBER,
I HAVE FRIENDS
IN HIGH PLACES!
233
00:16:50,010 --> 00:16:52,210
SO YOU BETTER
LAY OFF OF HIM,
BECAUSE YOU'LL BE BACK
234
00:16:52,210 --> 00:16:53,410
POUNDING A BEAT
IN BLACKPOOL!
235
00:17:02,210 --> 00:17:03,610
IF YOU'D ONLY
KEPT YOUR MOUTH SHUT.
236
00:17:08,010 --> 00:17:08,610
EXAMINED THE KNIFE?
237
00:17:08,810 --> 00:17:10,410
YES, SIR.
238
00:17:16,410 --> 00:17:17,610
FINGERPRINTS?
239
00:17:17,610 --> 00:17:18,610
YES, SIR.
240
00:17:18,810 --> 00:17:19,810
WHOSE?
241
00:17:20,610 --> 00:17:21,610
MINE, SIR.
242
00:17:22,810 --> 00:17:23,610
BLOOD?
243
00:17:23,810 --> 00:17:24,610
YES, SIR.
244
00:17:24,810 --> 00:17:25,810
HERS?
245
00:17:25,810 --> 00:17:26,610
YOURS, SIR.
246
00:17:28,210 --> 00:17:29,610
YOURS, SIR.
247
00:17:31,410 --> 00:17:33,410
DO YOU FIND MURDER HUMOROUS,
MR. SALT?
248
00:17:33,410 --> 00:17:35,810
NOBODY FINDS MURDER HUMOROUS,
INSPECTOR.
249
00:17:35,810 --> 00:17:37,610
BUT USE YOUR HEAD.
DO YOU THINK WE'D KILL SOMEONE
250
00:17:37,810 --> 00:17:39,810
AND PUT THEM IN OUR CAR
TO SEND THEM HOME?
251
00:17:40,010 --> 00:17:41,610
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU THINK, MR. PEPPER.
252
00:17:41,810 --> 00:17:43,610
BUT I SHALL FIND OUT.
253
00:17:43,810 --> 00:17:46,810
SOONER OR LATER
I SHALL FIND OUT,
IN MY OWN SWEET WAY.
254
00:17:49,610 --> 00:17:50,410
OUT!
255
00:18:00,810 --> 00:18:04,010
WHICH ONLY GOES TO PROVE
THE HAND IS STILL QUICKER
THAN THE EYE, SIR.
256
00:18:11,010 --> 00:18:12,210
INSP. CRABBE'S COMPLIMENTS,
GENTLEMEN.
257
00:18:12,410 --> 00:18:14,410
HE INSISTS WE DRIVE YOU
BACK TO YOUR CLUB.
258
00:18:14,610 --> 00:18:16,010
NO, WE'D MUCH RATHER WALK.
WE'RE ONLY A BLOCK AWAY.
259
00:18:16,210 --> 00:18:18,010
LOOK, WE CAN WALK.
260
00:18:18,210 --> 00:18:18,610
WHAT IS THIS?
WE DON'T HAVE TO--
261
00:18:27,810 --> 00:18:30,210
HEY, CHRIS.
262
00:18:30,410 --> 00:18:31,810
WAKE UP,
SLEEPING BEAUTY.
263
00:18:38,010 --> 00:18:39,810
WHERE ARE WE?
264
00:18:39,810 --> 00:18:41,810
I DON'T KNOW.
265
00:18:43,010 --> 00:18:45,410
WHAT A SHOT I GOT.
266
00:18:45,410 --> 00:18:46,410
CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING?
267
00:18:46,610 --> 00:18:48,410
WHAT?
268
00:18:48,610 --> 00:18:50,810
DID YOU KILL THAT GIRL?
269
00:18:51,010 --> 00:18:52,010
ARE YOU MAD?
270
00:18:53,810 --> 00:18:54,610
WELL, IT IS
ALL YOUR FAULT,
YOU KNOW.
271
00:18:54,810 --> 00:18:56,610
WHAT IS MY FAULT?
272
00:18:56,810 --> 00:18:58,810
WE COULD HAVE BEEN
IN CHICAGO NOW
273
00:18:58,810 --> 00:19:01,410
IN A NICE SWINGING
LITTLE CLUB, BUT NO,
274
00:19:01,610 --> 00:19:05,010
YOU SAID, LET'S OPEN A CLUB
IN BEAUTIFUL, QUIET, SEDATE,
SUPER LONDON.
275
00:19:05,810 --> 00:19:07,410
SO WHAT HAPPENS?
276
00:19:07,610 --> 00:19:09,010
WE GOT A SWINGING CLUB
AND A DEAD CHINESE CALL GIRL,
277
00:19:09,210 --> 00:19:11,410
AND ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE.
278
00:19:11,610 --> 00:19:12,810
YOU HIT ONE BENT COP.
279
00:19:13,010 --> 00:19:15,410
OH, NO, NO, NO,
I DIDN'T HIT HIM.
HE HIT ME.
280
00:19:15,410 --> 00:19:16,810
AND YOU KNOW
SOMETHIN' ELSE?
281
00:19:16,810 --> 00:19:19,410
IT'S THE FIRST TIME
I'VE EVER BEEN INNOCENT,
282
00:19:19,410 --> 00:19:22,010
AND I CAN'T TAKE IT
LYING DOWN!
283
00:19:22,210 --> 00:19:24,210
I'M GONNA GET OUT OF HERE.
284
00:19:25,810 --> 00:19:28,210
HELP! HEY!
285
00:19:28,210 --> 00:19:30,210
CAN YOU HOLD IT DOWN
JUST A LITTLE?
286
00:19:30,410 --> 00:19:33,010
THERE'S GOTTA BE
A WAY OUT OF HERE.
287
00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:39,210
HA, HA, HA.
288
00:19:40,810 --> 00:19:43,410
HEY, CHRIS,
I SAW A MOVIE ONCE
289
00:19:43,610 --> 00:19:45,610
WHERE 2 GUYS WERE
IN A CELLAR LIKE THIS
290
00:19:45,810 --> 00:19:48,010
AND THE GUY GOT OUT BY
BUSTIN' DOWN THE DOOR, RIGHT.
WITH KARATE.
291
00:19:48,210 --> 00:19:50,810
NOW I'LL SEE
IF MY KARATE LESSONS PAY OFF.
292
00:19:51,010 --> 00:19:52,010
JUST WATCH.
293
00:19:59,810 --> 00:20:02,210
GET US A LAWYER!
WE WANT A LAWYER!
294
00:20:11,010 --> 00:20:13,210
CHRISTOPHER PEPPER
AND CHARLES SALT, I BELIEVE.
295
00:20:13,410 --> 00:20:14,610
UM, I'M SALT,
HE'S PEPPER.
296
00:20:14,810 --> 00:20:17,810
I SEE.
297
00:20:18,010 --> 00:20:20,010
FIRST OF ALL, IT WASN'T
THE POLICE WHO
BROUGHT YOU HERE, IT WAS ME.
298
00:20:20,210 --> 00:20:21,610
AND WHO ARE YOU?
299
00:20:21,810 --> 00:20:24,610
THE NAME IS BALSOM.
COL. BALSOM.
300
00:20:24,810 --> 00:20:26,610
I APOLOGIZE
FOR THE ROUGH TREATMENT.
301
00:20:26,610 --> 00:20:29,410
BUT I HAD TO MAKE SURE
YOU HAD NOTHING TO DO
WITH THE DEATH OF MAI LING.
302
00:20:29,610 --> 00:20:31,810
BY BASHING US
OVER THE HEAD, HUH?
303
00:20:31,810 --> 00:20:34,810
NO, BY LISTENING IN
TO YOUR CONVERSATION.
304
00:20:36,410 --> 00:20:38,210
NOW YOU WOULDN'T KNOW IT,
305
00:20:38,410 --> 00:20:41,410
BUT MAI LING WAS AN ABSOLUTELY
FIRST-CLASS LITTLE OPERATOR.
306
00:20:41,610 --> 00:20:42,410
SHE WAS A CALL GIRL,
THE POLICE TOLD US.
307
00:20:42,610 --> 00:20:46,010
SHE WAS ALSO
A BRITISH INTELLIGENCE AGENT.
308
00:20:46,210 --> 00:20:47,610
BRITISH INTELLIGENCE?
309
00:20:47,610 --> 00:20:50,410
NOW, NORMALLY I WOULDN'T COME
INTO THE OPEN LIKE THIS,
310
00:20:50,410 --> 00:20:53,210
BUT I BELIEVE SHE WAS KILLED
BECAUSE SHE HAD
VITAL INFORMATION.
311
00:20:53,410 --> 00:20:55,610
THE POINT IS,
DID MAI LING SAY ANYTHING
BEFORE SHE DIED?
312
00:20:55,610 --> 00:20:56,810
ANYTHING AT ALL?
313
00:20:57,010 --> 00:20:59,210
WELL, YOU WERE WITH HER.
314
00:20:59,410 --> 00:21:03,410
WELL, ALL I CAN REMEMBER,
SHE POINTED TO SOME CARNATIONS
315
00:21:03,410 --> 00:21:06,010
AND SHE SAID HYACINTHS,
AND THEN MADE A DATE WITH ME.
316
00:21:06,210 --> 00:21:08,610
NO, IT CAN'T BE.
317
00:21:08,810 --> 00:21:10,410
ALMOST CERTAINLY
SHE WAS TRYING
TO GET SOME MESSAGE ACROSS.
318
00:21:10,410 --> 00:21:13,410
SO YOU MUST
REMEMBER IT EXACTLY.
319
00:21:13,610 --> 00:21:16,210
WELL, I CAN'T.
WHAT'S LEFT OF MY HEAD
IS SPLITTING.
320
00:21:16,410 --> 00:21:18,410
WESTON.SIR?
321
00:21:18,610 --> 00:21:19,610
BRING IN A BOTTLE
OF SCOTCH.SIR.
322
00:21:19,810 --> 00:21:22,610
I CAN'T OVERSTRESS
HOW IMPORTANT THIS IS.
323
00:21:24,010 --> 00:21:25,010
I'VE GOT IT.
324
00:21:25,210 --> 00:21:27,410
YEAH?
325
00:21:27,610 --> 00:21:31,610
SHE POINTED TO SOME FLOWERS
AND SHE SAID, "HOLLYHOCKS."
326
00:21:31,810 --> 00:21:33,810
DAMN IT, MAN!
SHE WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN
THINKING OF FLOWERS!
327
00:21:33,810 --> 00:21:35,410
SIR.
WHISKEY, SIR.
328
00:21:37,210 --> 00:21:38,810
THIS WILL CLEAR YOUR HEAD.
329
00:21:41,810 --> 00:21:43,010
CHEERS.
330
00:21:46,810 --> 00:21:48,010
AREN'T YOU GONNA
JOIN US, COLONEL?
331
00:21:48,210 --> 00:21:50,010
I HAVE AN ULCER.
332
00:21:50,210 --> 00:21:51,810
HE HAS AN ULCER.
SO DO WE.
333
00:21:54,610 --> 00:21:57,410
OH, FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE,
YOU DON'T THINK IT'S DOPED,
DO YOU?
334
00:21:58,410 --> 00:21:59,410
HERE.
335
00:22:02,210 --> 00:22:03,010
THERE YOU ARE.
336
00:22:04,810 --> 00:22:06,210
THANKS, CHUM.
337
00:22:06,410 --> 00:22:07,810
THAT IS DEFINITELY
WHAT THE MAN SAID, SIR.
338
00:22:08,010 --> 00:22:10,410
2 UNIFORMED POLICEMEN
KNOCKED THEM UNCONSCIOUS,
339
00:22:10,410 --> 00:22:12,610
DRAGGED THEM INTO A CAR,
AND THEN DROVE OFF.
340
00:22:15,210 --> 00:22:18,010
IF THIS IS THE SPECIAL BRANCH
TREADIN' ON MY CORNS,
341
00:22:18,010 --> 00:22:19,410
I'LL HAVE THEIR GUTS
FOR GARTERS!
342
00:22:19,410 --> 00:22:20,010
YES?
343
00:22:20,210 --> 00:22:21,210
GET ME THE COMMISSIONER.
344
00:22:30,810 --> 00:22:32,810
BROUGHT THE WRONG BOTTLE,
DIDN'T YOU, WESTON?
345
00:22:32,810 --> 00:22:35,010
SIR, I MUST HAVE MIXED--
346
00:22:35,210 --> 00:22:38,210
YOU KNOW THAT JOB IN RED CHINA
THAT NOBODY WANTED?
347
00:22:38,210 --> 00:22:40,210
SIR!
348
00:22:40,410 --> 00:22:42,010
WELL, I HOPE YOU KNOW
HOW TO USE CHOPSTICKS!
349
00:22:42,010 --> 00:22:43,210
SIR!
350
00:22:43,210 --> 00:22:44,410
DISMISSED!
351
00:22:45,410 --> 00:22:46,010
SIR.
352
00:22:59,810 --> 00:23:01,210
I WON'T DETAIN YOU
ANY LONGER.
353
00:23:01,410 --> 00:23:05,010
BUT YOU CAN HELP
BY TRYING TO REMEMBER
WHAT MAI LING SAID
354
00:23:05,010 --> 00:23:08,410
AND BY SEARCHING
FOR ANY CLUES OR MESSAGES
SHE MAY HAVE LEFT BEHIND.
355
00:23:08,410 --> 00:23:11,410
COLONEL. COLONEL,
LET'S GET ONE THING
STRAIGHT NOW, HUH?
356
00:23:11,410 --> 00:23:13,810
WE DON'T WANT TO GET MIXED UP
IN THIS THING.
357
00:23:14,010 --> 00:23:16,610
I CAN GIVE YOU 4 GOOD REASONS
WHY WE DON'T WANT
TO GET MIXED UP IN THIS THING.
358
00:23:16,610 --> 00:23:18,410
1: IT AIN'T
ANY OF OUR BUSINESS!
359
00:23:18,610 --> 00:23:20,210
2: WE'RE NIGHTCLUB OPERATORS.
360
00:23:20,410 --> 00:23:23,610
3: IF YOU WANT SECRET AGENTS,
THEN GO GET JAMES BOND
361
00:23:23,610 --> 00:23:26,010
OR THOSE 2 GUYS ON TELEVISION,
THE ONE THAT PLAYS TENNIS,
YOU KNOW?
362
00:23:26,210 --> 00:23:28,210
4: OUR DANCE CARD IS FILLED!
363
00:23:28,210 --> 00:23:31,610
SO, CIAO, COLONEL!
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.
364
00:23:31,810 --> 00:23:33,610
YOU MAY BE MIXED UP
IN THIS ALREADY.
365
00:23:33,810 --> 00:23:35,610
WHAT DO YOU MEAN
BY THAT?
366
00:23:35,810 --> 00:23:38,010
IF THE OTHER SIDE THINKS
MAI LING TALKED TO YOU.
367
00:23:41,010 --> 00:23:44,810
RING THIS NUMBER
IF ANYTHING CROPS UP.
368
00:23:45,010 --> 00:23:46,810
THE BRITISH GOVERNMENT
WOULDN'T BE OFFERING
50,000 POUNDS REWARD
369
00:23:47,010 --> 00:23:49,810
TO ANYONE
WHO CRACKS THIS THING
370
00:23:50,010 --> 00:23:50,810
UNLESS IT FELT
ITS VERY EXISTENCE
WAS AT STAKE.
371
00:23:51,010 --> 00:23:52,810
EXISTENCE?
372
00:23:52,810 --> 00:23:53,810
50?
373
00:23:56,410 --> 00:23:59,210
YOU MEAN $150,000?
374
00:23:59,210 --> 00:24:00,210
YES.
375
00:24:02,210 --> 00:24:04,810
UH, COLONEL, SIR,
376
00:24:05,010 --> 00:24:08,010
YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT
$150,000 GOES TO ANYONE
WHO CRACKS THIS THING?
377
00:24:08,210 --> 00:24:10,010
ANYONE.
378
00:24:10,010 --> 00:24:12,610
THIS IS URGENT,
GENTLEMEN.
379
00:24:12,610 --> 00:24:15,810
MAI LING WAS MY 6TH AGENT
MURDERED IN THE LAST 2 WEEKS.
380
00:24:18,810 --> 00:24:21,210
YOU MEAN 1, 2,
381
00:24:21,410 --> 00:24:24,210
3, 4, 5--
382
00:24:24,210 --> 00:24:25,210
6!
383
00:24:27,610 --> 00:24:30,410
WELL, AS I ALWAYS SAY,
COLONEL,
384
00:24:32,610 --> 00:24:34,810
BETTER TO LIVE POOR
THAN TO DIE RICH.
385
00:24:37,210 --> 00:24:39,010
FINALLY, PRIME MINISTER,
386
00:24:39,210 --> 00:24:41,810
I HAVE TO REPORT
THAT THE POLARIS CREW
TRAINING PROGRAM
387
00:24:42,010 --> 00:24:43,810
IS WELL UP TO SCHEDULE.
388
00:24:43,810 --> 00:24:46,010
THANK YOU.
389
00:24:46,010 --> 00:24:49,410
WELL, I THINK WE ALL FIND
THE FIRST SEA LORD'S REPORT
MOST ENCOURAGING.
390
00:24:50,410 --> 00:24:53,210
WHAT'S NEXT?
391
00:24:53,210 --> 00:24:56,210
AH, YES.
UH, HOME SECRETARY.
392
00:24:56,210 --> 00:24:59,010
PRIME MINISTER,
I HAVE TO REPORT
THAT INTELLIGENCE AGENT 02,
393
00:24:59,210 --> 00:25:01,810
OTHERWISE KNOWN AS MAI LING,
394
00:25:02,010 --> 00:25:04,810
WAS TONIGHT KILLED
IN THE SALT & PEPPER CLUB,
SOHO.
395
00:25:05,010 --> 00:25:06,010
ORDER, GENTLEMEN, PLEASE.
396
00:25:06,210 --> 00:25:09,810
CARRY ON, HOME SECRETARY.
397
00:25:10,010 --> 00:25:11,810
THERE IS A LIKELIHOOD THAT
THIS AGENT WAS IN POSSESSION
OF IMPORTANT INFORMATION.
398
00:25:11,810 --> 00:25:13,610
DID SHE HAVE TIME
TO SAY ANYTHING
BEFORE SHE DIED?
399
00:25:13,810 --> 00:25:16,010
I THINK NOT,
PRIME MINISTER.
400
00:25:16,210 --> 00:25:17,810
THE MATTER IS, OF COURSE,
BEING MOST URGENTLY
INVESTIGATED.
401
00:25:39,010 --> 00:25:40,810
YES, I LIKE
THE WAY YOU SING
402
00:25:42,610 --> 00:25:44,210
MMM, I DIG
THE WAY YOU SWING
403
00:25:46,210 --> 00:25:49,010
AND I LIKE
THE WAY YOU MOVE
404
00:25:49,210 --> 00:25:51,010
YOU KNOW I DIG
THE WAY YOU GROOVE
405
00:25:54,010 --> 00:25:57,410
WHEN YOU STAND STILL
MY WORLD GETS HAZY
406
00:25:57,610 --> 00:25:59,810
WHEN YOU START TO MOVE
YOU DRIVE ME CRAZY
407
00:26:06,610 --> 00:26:08,010
WOW, I LIKE
THE WAY YOU WALK
408
00:26:10,210 --> 00:26:11,610
YEAH, I DIG
THE WAY YOU TALK
409
00:26:13,610 --> 00:26:15,210
YES, I DIG
THE WAY YOU GROOVE
410
00:26:17,210 --> 00:26:17,810
AND I LIKE
THE WAY YOU MOVE
411
00:26:21,210 --> 00:26:24,610
BUT WHEN I SAY STOP
I DON'T MEAN MAYBE
412
00:26:24,810 --> 00:26:28,210
WHEN I SAY GO
SOCK IT TO ME, BABY
413
00:26:30,810 --> 00:26:32,410
WOW, I LIKE
THE WAY YOU DANCE
414
00:26:34,010 --> 00:26:35,010
OH
415
00:26:39,210 --> 00:26:41,010
NOW STOP
416
00:26:41,210 --> 00:26:42,610
GO!
417
00:26:48,010 --> 00:26:49,010
GO, BLIMEY!
418
00:27:15,210 --> 00:27:18,810
OH, SOCK IT ME, BABY
419
00:27:19,010 --> 00:27:22,010
SOCK IT, SOCK IT,
SOCK IT TO ME, BABY
420
00:27:22,010 --> 00:27:23,610
OH, I DIG
THE WAY YOU GROOVE
421
00:27:25,410 --> 00:27:26,610
AND I DIG THE WAY YOU MOVE
422
00:27:29,410 --> 00:27:30,410
OH, YEAH
423
00:27:32,410 --> 00:27:34,010
BRING IT ON DOWN
424
00:27:36,010 --> 00:27:37,010
BRING IT ON DOWN
425
00:27:39,210 --> 00:27:40,210
SOCK IT TO ME, BABY
426
00:27:42,810 --> 00:27:44,210
OH, BRING IT ALL UP
427
00:27:46,210 --> 00:27:48,210
YEAH, SOCK IT TO ME, BABY
428
00:27:49,610 --> 00:27:52,810
OH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH
429
00:27:53,010 --> 00:27:53,810
OH, OH, YEAH
430
00:27:57,010 --> 00:27:58,210
OH, YEAH
431
00:27:59,810 --> 00:28:01,210
BRING IT ON HOME
432
00:28:03,610 --> 00:28:04,210
SOCK IT TO ME, BABY
433
00:28:24,610 --> 00:28:24,810
COL. WOODSTOCK?
434
00:28:25,010 --> 00:28:25,410
YES, MR. RACK?
435
00:28:25,610 --> 00:28:28,210
I LOCATED STRAW.
436
00:28:28,410 --> 00:28:30,610
HE'S DEAD,
IN SALT'S DRESSING ROOM.
437
00:28:33,010 --> 00:28:35,210
THERE IT IS,
YOU BEAUTIFUL BIRD, YOU!
438
00:28:39,210 --> 00:28:41,810
THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT.
439
00:28:41,810 --> 00:28:46,610
PEPPER! PEPPER!
PEPPER!
440
00:28:46,610 --> 00:28:47,010
WHAT? WHAT IS IT?
441
00:28:50,610 --> 00:28:53,610
HE'S DEAD,
TOP TO BOTTOM.
442
00:28:53,810 --> 00:28:55,410
THAT'S THE SAME GUY
I SAW IN MY CLOSET.
I WASN'T IMAGINING THINGS.
443
00:28:55,410 --> 00:28:56,210
HOW DID HE GET
IN THE BATHROOM?
444
00:28:56,410 --> 00:28:58,210
MAYBE HE WASN'T
FEELING WELL!
445
00:28:58,410 --> 00:29:00,210
COME ON, HELP ME
GET HIM OUT.NOT ME!
446
00:29:04,410 --> 00:29:06,410
OH, HE'S ABOUT AS DEAD
AS THEY COME.
447
00:29:11,810 --> 00:29:13,810
2 IN ONE NIGHT.
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
448
00:29:13,810 --> 00:29:14,410
I DON'T KNOW,
BUT I TELL YOU ONE THING.
WE--
449
00:29:14,410 --> 00:29:16,610
HELLO, INSPECTOR!
450
00:29:16,610 --> 00:29:17,410
INSPECTOR.
451
00:29:17,610 --> 00:29:19,410
EXCUSE ME.
452
00:29:19,410 --> 00:29:20,610
WHERE DID YOU GO
AFTER LEAVING MY OFFICE?
453
00:29:20,810 --> 00:29:22,010
WHY?
454
00:29:22,210 --> 00:29:24,210
NO, HE--HE GAVE THEM UP,
REMEMBER?
455
00:29:24,410 --> 00:29:26,410
I RECEIVED A REPORT
THAT YOU WERE SEEN
456
00:29:26,410 --> 00:29:28,810
KIDNAPPED BY 2 MEN
IN POLICE UNIFORM.
457
00:29:28,810 --> 00:29:30,810
OH, NO, INSPECTOR.
WE--WE JUST WENT
FOR A LITTLE WALK.
458
00:29:31,010 --> 00:29:32,210
COME ON, NOW.
WHAT IS IT?
459
00:29:32,210 --> 00:29:33,610
TROUBLE WITH
THE PROTECTION BOYS, EH?
460
00:29:33,610 --> 00:29:34,610
NO, NO, NO,
NOTHING LIKE THAT.
461
00:29:34,610 --> 00:29:36,610
HERE, WHO IS THIS?
462
00:29:36,610 --> 00:29:38,610
WELL, HE'S A SILENT PARTNER.
463
00:29:40,010 --> 00:29:40,610
SOMETHING IS GOING ON
AROUND HERE.
464
00:29:40,610 --> 00:29:43,010
BUT BE WARNED!
465
00:29:43,210 --> 00:29:47,410
I DON'T MISS MUCH,
YOU KNOW, LADS.
466
00:29:47,410 --> 00:29:50,410
I'M SORRY TO HAVE INTERRUPTED
WHATEVER IT WAS
YOU WERE HATCHING.
467
00:29:54,810 --> 00:29:56,410
I'VE JUST PASSED SCARED
AND I'VE MOVED INTO TERROR.
468
00:29:56,410 --> 00:29:57,810
LET'S CALL COL. BALSOM, HUH?
469
00:29:57,810 --> 00:29:59,610
NO. REMEMBER WE
DECIDED TO LIVE?THAT'S RIGHT.
470
00:29:59,610 --> 00:30:02,810
COME ON, WE GOTTA
FIND SMILEY A NEW HOME.
471
00:30:03,010 --> 00:30:05,210
MAY WE HAVE YOUR NAME AND ADDRESS, SIR?
472
00:30:05,210 --> 00:30:08,610
NEVER MIND MY NAME.
CHECK THE SALT & PEPPER CLUB.
RIGHT?
473
00:30:08,610 --> 00:30:10,010
IN SALT'S DRESSING ROOM.
474
00:30:10,010 --> 00:30:12,410
HE'LL ENJOY THIS TRIP.
475
00:30:12,610 --> 00:30:13,610
OK, BUDDY-BOY, YOU SLEEP
IN THE TOURIST COACH.
476
00:30:13,810 --> 00:30:15,010
YES, YOU HAD A NICE TIME.
477
00:30:15,210 --> 00:30:16,210
HERE WE ARE.
478
00:30:16,410 --> 00:30:17,410
HERE WE ARE!COME ON.
479
00:30:17,610 --> 00:30:19,410
GET HIM IN THERE!EASY!
480
00:30:21,210 --> 00:30:23,010
HE'S LOADED, ALL RIGHT.ENJOYED IT,
HAVEN'T YOU?
481
00:30:23,010 --> 00:30:24,010
DON'T WORRY.
482
00:30:24,210 --> 00:30:25,410
IN WE GO!
483
00:30:25,410 --> 00:30:27,010
IT'S HIS ONE NIGHT OUT,
YOU KNOW?
484
00:30:27,010 --> 00:30:28,410
THERE WE ARE!
485
00:30:28,610 --> 00:30:30,010
THERE'S A GOOD BOY.
WONDERFUL!
486
00:30:30,010 --> 00:30:30,810
TAKE HIM BACK HOME.
487
00:30:33,210 --> 00:30:35,410
THERE. MAKE SURE
YOU USE COLOR!
488
00:30:35,610 --> 00:30:38,210
WHAT DO YOU MEAN
BY THAT?
489
00:30:38,410 --> 00:30:39,610
LIVE IT UP!
GOODBYE!
490
00:30:41,410 --> 00:30:43,010
GOODBYE!
HAVE A GOOD TRIP!
491
00:30:43,210 --> 00:30:43,810
TAKE IT EASY,
WILL YOU?
492
00:30:44,010 --> 00:30:45,810
I WAS ONLY TRYING
TO HELP.
493
00:30:47,010 --> 00:30:48,010
CHRIS.
494
00:30:55,410 --> 00:30:56,210
THAT'S THE GUY
I SAW IN THE CLUB!
495
00:30:56,210 --> 00:30:58,610
WITH THE SCAR AND TWITCH,
LIKE THIS!
496
00:30:58,610 --> 00:31:00,410
STOP! YOUR IMAGINATION
IS RUNNING AWAY WITH YOU.
497
00:31:00,410 --> 00:31:01,810
THAT'S THE GUY I SAW!
YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME!
498
00:31:16,610 --> 00:31:17,210
NO.
499
00:31:27,210 --> 00:31:28,810
ALL RIGHT, OPEN UP.
500
00:31:45,810 --> 00:31:46,610
I--
501
00:31:46,810 --> 00:31:48,410
OH, NO!
502
00:31:48,410 --> 00:31:50,410
DO YOU HAVE A WARRANT
TO LIVE HERE?
503
00:31:50,610 --> 00:31:53,610
I RECEIVED A REPORT
THAT A MAN WAS SHOT DEAD
IN THIS ROOM.
504
00:31:53,810 --> 00:31:56,210
MIND IF I, UH,
LOOK AROUND?
505
00:31:56,410 --> 00:31:58,010
NO, AS IT TURNS OUT.
506
00:31:58,010 --> 00:31:58,610
BE OUR GUEST.
507
00:32:00,810 --> 00:32:02,210
NOW THEN,
WHAT'S IN THESE CUPBOARDS?
508
00:32:02,410 --> 00:32:03,210
CLOTHES, MOSTLY.
509
00:32:03,410 --> 00:32:04,210
CLOTHES, EH?
510
00:32:04,410 --> 00:32:05,410
COSTUMES.
511
00:32:05,410 --> 00:32:06,210
WINTER, SUMMER--AHA!
512
00:32:13,010 --> 00:32:14,210
GUNS, EH?
513
00:32:14,410 --> 00:32:16,010
THEY'RE WHAT CHARLIE USES
IN THE ACT.
514
00:32:16,210 --> 00:32:17,410
IN HIS WHAT?
515
00:32:17,410 --> 00:32:19,010
I HAVE A PERMIT
TO USE 'EM IN MY ACT.
516
00:32:19,210 --> 00:32:20,810
DON'T LET ME FIND YOU
WITH THIS GUN ON THE STREET.
517
00:32:21,010 --> 00:32:24,410
OH, NO, SIR. YOU SEE,
I WEAR THEM ON STAGE.
518
00:32:24,610 --> 00:32:27,010
AND IT'S QUITE AMUSING
WHEN YOU SEE IT DONE,
519
00:32:27,010 --> 00:32:29,810
BECAUSE I WALK OUT
AND THEY PLAY MUSIC.
WESTERN MUSIC.
520
00:32:30,010 --> 00:32:31,610
AND A LOT OF TWIRLING,
AND BACK AND FORTH,
LIKE THIS.
521
00:32:36,410 --> 00:32:38,010
I GUESS I'LL NEVER GET IT.
522
00:32:39,610 --> 00:32:41,410
SOONER OR LATER,
I'LL GET YOU.
523
00:32:42,210 --> 00:32:43,410
FOR SOMETHING!
524
00:32:46,610 --> 00:32:48,410
WHY DOESN'T HE ARREST
HIS TAILOR?
525
00:32:48,610 --> 00:32:49,810
THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
526
00:32:57,210 --> 00:32:59,810
WHAT DO YOU SAY, ERNIE?
527
00:32:59,810 --> 00:33:00,810
IT'S A NICE RING, MATE.
I'LL GIVE YOU 50 QUID FOR IT.
528
00:33:01,010 --> 00:33:02,810
50 QUID? THE REWARD'S MORE THAN THAT!
529
00:33:06,610 --> 00:33:08,410
LOOK, MY PRICE IS 3 POUNDS AND I DON'T DO NO SPANKIN'.
530
00:33:08,610 --> 00:33:11,410
I'M NOT YOUR NANNY.
531
00:33:16,210 --> 00:33:17,410
WHO IS IT?
532
00:33:17,410 --> 00:33:18,210
WHO DO YOU THINK?
533
00:33:23,010 --> 00:33:23,410
ANYTHING NEW?
534
00:33:23,610 --> 00:33:24,610
SAME OLD THING, SIR.
535
00:33:24,810 --> 00:33:26,010
NOW LOOK HERE, WALTERS,
536
00:33:26,210 --> 00:33:27,810
I WANT YOU TO BUG
SALT AND PEPPER
537
00:33:28,010 --> 00:33:29,410
AT THE FIRST
OPPORTUNITY!RIGHT, SIR.
538
00:33:29,410 --> 00:33:31,410
THEY'RE UP TO NO GOOD.
I CAN SMELL IT.
539
00:33:31,610 --> 00:33:33,410
WELL, GO ON, WALTERS.THANK YOU, SIR.
540
00:33:33,410 --> 00:33:37,010
OH, HERE, WALTERS,
GET THIS REPAIRED
FOR ME, WILL YOU?
541
00:33:37,210 --> 00:33:38,410
GO ON,
JUMP TO IT!
542
00:33:38,610 --> 00:33:39,810
YES, SIR.
543
00:34:10,410 --> 00:34:11,410
HUH!
544
00:34:16,810 --> 00:34:18,810
HAVE I GOT SOMETHIN'
TO LAY ON YOU.
545
00:34:19,010 --> 00:34:20,010
SIT DOWN.
546
00:34:20,210 --> 00:34:21,810
YEAH, WELL,
THIS BETTER BE GOOD.
547
00:34:25,610 --> 00:34:27,210
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
548
00:34:29,610 --> 00:34:32,210
PUT YOUR 20/20'S ON THAT,
OLD BUDDY.
549
00:34:32,210 --> 00:34:33,610
I FOUND IT
RIGHT ON THIS COUCH.
550
00:34:33,810 --> 00:34:36,810
IT OBVIOUSLY BELONGED
TO THE DEAD
CHINESE CALL GIRL.
551
00:34:37,010 --> 00:34:39,810
LOOK AT THAT!
IT'S GOT EVERYTHING. DATES,
NAMES, NUMBERS, PRICES.
552
00:34:41,810 --> 00:34:43,410
SHE WAS A BUSY
LITTLE FORTUNE COOKIE,
WASN'T SHE?
553
00:34:43,410 --> 00:34:46,010
BEATS ME HOW SHE
FOUND TIME TO SPY.
554
00:34:46,210 --> 00:34:47,610
LOOK AT THAT LIST
OF NAMES.
555
00:34:47,810 --> 00:34:50,010
F.M. SIR EDMUND BRISKET.
556
00:34:50,010 --> 00:34:52,610
IT'S OUR ARMY CHIEF OF STAFF.
557
00:34:52,810 --> 00:34:55,010
ADMIRAL SIR
REGINALD GREENGATES.
558
00:34:55,210 --> 00:34:56,810
THAT'S HIS NAVAL COUNTERPART.
559
00:34:56,810 --> 00:34:58,210
GEN. MARK RUTNER.
560
00:34:58,410 --> 00:35:01,410
UNITED STATES
LIAISON OFFICER
FOR DEFENSE.
561
00:35:01,610 --> 00:35:04,610
ALL RIGHT,
THEN WHO IS THIS CAT,
MR. WILLIAM DOVE?
562
00:35:06,210 --> 00:35:08,410
ODD MAN OUT.
563
00:35:08,610 --> 00:35:10,410
HEADMASTER OF
HALLIWELL COLLEGE.
THAT'S MY OLD SCHOOL.
564
00:35:10,610 --> 00:35:12,410
YOU'RE KIDDING.
565
00:35:12,410 --> 00:35:15,810
BUT WHAT ARE THESE MEN
DOING WITH A CALL GIRL?
566
00:35:15,810 --> 00:35:17,810
OH, COME ON.
HOW MANY GUESSES
ARE YOU GONNA GIVE ME?
567
00:35:18,010 --> 00:35:18,610
YEAH, RIGHT.
568
00:35:18,610 --> 00:35:19,810
HEY, DO YOU WANT A TASTE?
569
00:35:20,010 --> 00:35:20,810
PLEASE.
570
00:35:20,810 --> 00:35:21,610
ALL RIGHT.
571
00:35:26,210 --> 00:35:28,010
IN THAT CASE, YOU KNOW,
572
00:35:28,210 --> 00:35:31,410
IT REALLY WOULD BE UNFAIR
TO TURN THIS OVER
TO BALSOM OR THE POLICE.
573
00:35:31,610 --> 00:35:33,610
A THING LIKE THIS
COULD RUIN THEIR CAREERS
IN A HALF-MINUTE.
574
00:35:33,810 --> 00:35:35,410
OH, I CAN SEE
INSP. CRABBE
575
00:35:35,610 --> 00:35:37,810
WITH THAT
IN HIS HOT LITTLE FIST!
576
00:35:37,810 --> 00:35:40,810
SO WE DESTROY IT, HUH?
GET RID OF IT?
577
00:35:41,010 --> 00:35:42,810
I DON'T KNOW.
578
00:35:43,010 --> 00:35:44,810
IT WOULD BE WRONG
IF IT WAS IMPORTANT.
579
00:35:45,010 --> 00:35:46,810
THERE IS ONE ALTERNATIVE.
580
00:35:46,810 --> 00:35:48,810
WHAT?
581
00:35:48,810 --> 00:35:50,410
I KNOW BRISKET
AND GREENGATES PRETTY WELL.
582
00:35:50,610 --> 00:35:52,810
YOU KNOW THEM
KIND OF CATS, HUH?
583
00:35:53,010 --> 00:35:53,810
MY FATHER DID.
584
00:35:53,810 --> 00:35:55,410
THAT'S RIGHT.
585
00:35:55,610 --> 00:35:58,610
WHY DON'T WE PAY THEM
AN UNOFFICIAL VISIT TOMORROW?
586
00:35:58,610 --> 00:36:01,410
IF THEY ARE JUST CLIENTS,
WE DROP IT.
587
00:36:01,610 --> 00:36:04,210
IF THERE'S MORE TO IT,
WE TURN IT OVER TO BALSOM.
588
00:36:04,410 --> 00:36:07,810
LOOK, PARTNER,
IF THERE IS MORE TO IT,
589
00:36:08,010 --> 00:36:12,210
YOU AND ME ARE SITTIN'
ON A KEG OF DYNAMITE.
590
00:36:12,410 --> 00:36:15,810
ALL RIGHT,
WE START IN THE MORNING
WITH ADMIRAL GREENGATES.
591
00:36:33,610 --> 00:36:35,010
POOR OLD GREENGATES.
592
00:36:35,210 --> 00:36:36,010
WHAT DO YOU THINK
IT WAS?
593
00:36:36,010 --> 00:36:37,610
HEART ATTACK,
I SUPPOSE.
594
00:36:37,810 --> 00:36:39,010
GETTING A LITTLE OLD
TO FOOL AROUND
595
00:36:39,210 --> 00:36:41,410
WITH THOSE
CHINESE CHICKS.YEAH, I'M HIP.
596
00:36:41,410 --> 00:36:43,010
HEY, DO YOU THINK
IT'S TRUE?
597
00:36:43,210 --> 00:36:45,610
WHAT?
598
00:36:45,610 --> 00:36:46,410
THAT ONCE YOU
TAKE OUT A CHINESE GIRL,
AN HOUR LATER YOU...
599
00:36:46,610 --> 00:36:48,210
NO.
600
00:36:48,410 --> 00:36:50,010
ALL RIGHT, WHAT'S NEXT?
601
00:36:50,010 --> 00:36:52,210
WELL, F.M. BRISKET
LUNCHES EVERY DAY
AT LOCKE'S CLUB.
602
00:36:52,410 --> 00:36:53,810
LET'S GO!
603
00:36:53,810 --> 00:36:55,010
WILL YOU DO ME A FAVOR?WHAT?
604
00:36:55,010 --> 00:36:55,810
WILL YOU CHANGE
THAT OUTFIT?
605
00:36:56,010 --> 00:36:58,010
VERY EXCLUSIVE CLUB.
606
00:36:58,010 --> 00:36:58,610
OH, IT IS, EH?
607
00:37:02,210 --> 00:37:03,410
OH, PEPPER.
608
00:37:03,610 --> 00:37:06,410
UH, CHARLIE,
THIS IS MAJ. DERN-- DERNWOOD.
609
00:37:06,410 --> 00:37:08,210
DASHWOOD.
610
00:37:08,210 --> 00:37:10,210
I BEG YOUR PARDON.
OUR CLUB SECRETARY.
THIS IS CHARLES SALT.
611
00:37:10,410 --> 00:37:11,610
MY PLEASURE.
612
00:37:11,810 --> 00:37:13,410
DELIGHTED, MR. SALT.
613
00:37:13,410 --> 00:37:15,210
ALWAYS GLAD
TO SEE OUR FRIENDS
FROM OVERSEAS.
614
00:37:15,210 --> 00:37:18,210
WE HAD AN EXTRAORDINARY
NICE CHAPPIE FROM, UH, NIGERIA
615
00:37:18,210 --> 00:37:19,810
TO LUNCH,
ONLY THE OTHER...
616
00:37:19,810 --> 00:37:21,610
UM, ABOUT 2 YEARS AGO.
617
00:37:21,610 --> 00:37:23,410
WELL, ENJOY YOURSELVES,
618
00:37:23,610 --> 00:37:24,610
HAVE A LOOK AROUND.THANKS.
619
00:37:24,610 --> 00:37:26,010
SEE YOU LATER.
BYE-BYE.
620
00:37:26,010 --> 00:37:28,610
CHEERIO, PIP-PIP,
A BIT OF ALL RIGHT
AND ALL THAT--
621
00:37:28,610 --> 00:37:29,210
AREN'T YOU OVERDOING THAT
A LITTLE?
622
00:37:29,210 --> 00:37:31,010
JUST A PINCH.
623
00:37:33,810 --> 00:37:35,410
THERE HE IS.
F.M. BRISKET.
624
00:37:35,610 --> 00:37:37,810
HOW DO YOU KNOW?
625
00:37:38,010 --> 00:37:39,410
BLACK GLOVE. LOST A HAND
DURING THE WAR.
626
00:37:50,610 --> 00:37:53,410
PLEASE DON'T DISTURB
THE FIELD MARSHAL.
627
00:37:53,410 --> 00:37:55,010
HE DOESN'T LIKE IT.
628
00:37:57,010 --> 00:37:58,810
I DON'T KNOW
IF THIS MEANS ANYTHING
OR NOT,
629
00:37:59,010 --> 00:38:00,610
BUT THIS IS
YESTERDAY'S NEWSPAPER.
630
00:38:14,610 --> 00:38:16,410
THIS IS GETTING
TO BE MONOTONOUS!
631
00:38:16,610 --> 00:38:19,210
MORE THAN MONOTONOUS.
LET'S GET ON TO DOVE.
632
00:38:27,810 --> 00:38:29,810
WHAT'RE YOU
PLAYING AT, JENKS?
633
00:38:30,010 --> 00:38:33,010
SORRY, COL. WOODSTOCK.
JUST CH-CH-CHECKING.
634
00:38:52,410 --> 00:38:54,010
COULD YOU TELL ME
WHERE MIGHT I FIND
THE HEADMASTER?
635
00:38:54,210 --> 00:38:54,810
YOU'LL FIND HIM BACK THERE
IN THE GARDEN.
636
00:38:55,010 --> 00:38:57,210
THANK YOU.
637
00:38:57,410 --> 00:38:58,410
QUITE A PLACE,
ISN'T IT?
638
00:38:58,610 --> 00:39:00,010
NOT UNLIKE
MY OLD ALMA MATER.
639
00:39:00,210 --> 00:39:01,010
HARVARD, OF COURSE.
640
00:39:01,210 --> 00:39:02,610
OF COURSE.
641
00:39:04,610 --> 00:39:07,610
WHAT A PLACE
FOR A SIT-IN.
642
00:39:07,810 --> 00:39:09,610
BEATS ME HOW YOU STARTED HERE
AND WOUND UP IN SOHO.
643
00:39:09,610 --> 00:39:12,010
GOOD MORNING, SIR.
644
00:39:12,210 --> 00:39:13,610
CAN YOU SEE ME
GOING THROUGH LIFE
IN ONE OF THOSE?
645
00:39:13,610 --> 00:39:15,810
NO, I'M ALL FOR TRADITION
646
00:39:15,810 --> 00:39:18,210
SO LONG AS SOMEBODY ELSE
CARRIES IT ON.
647
00:39:18,410 --> 00:39:19,410
I MEAN, THE NEXT STEP
WOULD HAVE BEEN A BOWLER...
648
00:39:29,410 --> 00:39:30,210
FAG!
649
00:39:32,810 --> 00:39:36,210
DID HE SAY
WHAT I THOUGHT HE SAID?
650
00:39:36,210 --> 00:39:38,610
I WANT 6 4-PENNY STAMPS
AT ONCE.
651
00:39:38,810 --> 00:39:40,210
GO ON, TAKE IT.
BE QUICK, LET'S HAVE IT.
652
00:39:40,410 --> 00:39:42,410
AWAY WITH YOU, BOY. BUCK UP!
653
00:39:42,410 --> 00:39:44,810
YOU SEE, THE OLDER BOY'S
CALLED A PREFECT.
654
00:39:45,010 --> 00:39:47,010
THE YOUNGER ONES
ARE ALL CALLED FAGS.
655
00:39:47,010 --> 00:39:48,210
THEY RUN ERRANDS AND DO
AS THEY'RE TOLD.
656
00:39:48,410 --> 00:39:50,410
OH, THAT'S THE LOWEST, MAN!
657
00:39:50,410 --> 00:39:51,410
NO, NO, IT'S NOT.
I WAS A FAG FOR 2 YEARS
WHEN I WAS HERE.
658
00:39:51,610 --> 00:39:52,610
WHAT?
659
00:39:55,010 --> 00:39:57,410
WELL, YOUR SECRET'S SAFE
WITH ME, OLD BUDDY.
660
00:39:57,610 --> 00:39:58,810
YOU DO PROMISE?
661
00:39:59,010 --> 00:40:00,010
YES, I DO.
662
00:40:03,810 --> 00:40:04,610
OOH.
663
00:40:11,210 --> 00:40:12,610
I WANT YOU TO KNOW
I GREATLY APPRECIATE
664
00:40:12,810 --> 00:40:15,010
YOUR MOTIVES
IN COMING DOWN HERE.
665
00:40:15,210 --> 00:40:17,410
ANYTHING YOU CAN DO
TO HELP US, MR. DOVE.
666
00:40:17,810 --> 00:40:20,610
WELL, I DID KNOW
THIS YOUNG PERSON.
667
00:40:20,810 --> 00:40:24,410
BUT, UH, IT MAY BE DIFFICULT
FOR YOU TO UNDERSTAND.
668
00:40:24,410 --> 00:40:27,810
BUT THIS CLOISTERED,
MONASTIC EXISTENCE, UH...
669
00:40:29,610 --> 00:40:31,010
YOU DON'T HAVE
TO EXPLAIN, SIR.
670
00:40:31,010 --> 00:40:33,210
OH, OH, BUT I SHOULD EXPLAIN,
PERHAPS.
671
00:40:33,410 --> 00:40:36,410
I WAS DINING WITH THE BISHOP
OF RISBOROUGH DOWN HERE
672
00:40:36,610 --> 00:40:39,810
AT THE TIME YOU SAY
THIS POOR SOUL WAS MURDERED.
673
00:40:42,010 --> 00:40:44,610
WELL, IF WE DECIDE
TO SHOW THE BOOK
TO THE POLICE, SIR,
674
00:40:44,810 --> 00:40:45,210
YOU WON'T BE IN THERE.
675
00:40:46,810 --> 00:40:49,010
OH, I'M MOST GRATIFIED.
676
00:40:49,210 --> 00:40:50,810
GOOD BOY, PEPPER.
GOOD BOY, PEPPER.
677
00:40:51,010 --> 00:40:54,410
THANK YOU, MR. SALT.
UH, MAY I?
678
00:40:54,410 --> 00:40:55,610
IT'S ONE OF MY FAVORITES.
679
00:40:55,810 --> 00:40:57,810
THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
680
00:40:57,810 --> 00:41:00,010
OH, BY THE WAY,
681
00:41:00,210 --> 00:41:03,610
A YOUNG CHAP FROM NIGERIA
JOINED THE SCHOOL
ONLY THIS TERM.
682
00:41:03,810 --> 00:41:05,410
AN EXTRAORDINARILY
NICE FELLOW?
683
00:41:05,610 --> 00:41:07,810
NO. AS A MATTER OF FACT,
A LITTLE BEAST.
684
00:41:08,810 --> 00:41:10,010
GOODBYE, MR. DOVE.
685
00:41:10,210 --> 00:41:10,410
GOODBYE.GOODBYE.
686
00:41:21,010 --> 00:41:23,210
THAT PROVES IT.
SEEMS THAT THEY WERE
JUST CLIENTS OF THAT CHICK.
687
00:41:23,410 --> 00:41:25,610
THAT'S WHAT
IT LOOKS LIKE.
688
00:41:25,810 --> 00:41:26,810
HE CERTAINLY
WAS GRATEFUL.
689
00:41:27,010 --> 00:41:28,410
MORNING, SIR.
690
00:41:28,610 --> 00:41:29,610
I WISH I'D HAD
THAT INFORMATION
WHEN I WAS AT SCHOOL.
691
00:41:29,610 --> 00:41:32,410
THINK OF THE MARKS
I'D HAVE GOT.
692
00:41:32,410 --> 00:41:34,610
WELL, WE'LL CHECK
THE LAST NAME
ON THE LIST, HUH?
693
00:41:34,810 --> 00:41:35,610
GEN. RUTNER.
694
00:41:35,610 --> 00:41:37,610
WHY NOT?
695
00:41:37,610 --> 00:41:39,610
NO HARM IN HAVING
GRATEFUL FRIENDS HIGH UP.
696
00:41:40,810 --> 00:41:42,010
FAG!
697
00:41:42,210 --> 00:41:44,410
YOU CALL ME THAT
ONE MORE--
698
00:41:50,410 --> 00:41:51,210
HELLO. WHO'S THERE?
699
00:41:51,410 --> 00:41:54,410
DOVE HERE. 2 MEN.
TROUBLE!
700
00:41:54,410 --> 00:41:57,810
SALT AND PEPPER!
701
00:41:58,010 --> 00:42:00,810
YES, I FEARED AS MUCH
WHEN I SAW THEM SNOOPING
AROUND THE CLUB THIS MORNING.
702
00:42:01,010 --> 00:42:03,410
HOWEVER,
WE CAN DEAL WITH THEM.
703
00:42:03,610 --> 00:42:04,610
ALL RIGHT, GOODBYE.
704
00:42:09,410 --> 00:42:10,810
A BUSY DAY FOR YOU,
MY FRIEND.
705
00:42:12,810 --> 00:42:15,810
AFTER YOU KILL GEN. RUTNER,
706
00:42:16,610 --> 00:42:18,610
YOU WILL EXTEND
THE SAME SERVICE
707
00:42:18,810 --> 00:42:20,210
TO THE MESSRS.
SALT AND PEPPER.
708
00:42:21,010 --> 00:42:22,410
FIND OUT.
709
00:42:22,610 --> 00:42:24,810
YES. WELL, THANK YOU
VERY MUCH, MRS. RUTNER.
710
00:42:25,010 --> 00:42:25,610
BYE.
711
00:42:25,810 --> 00:42:28,010
GOODBYE.
712
00:42:28,010 --> 00:42:29,210
WELL?
713
00:42:29,410 --> 00:42:30,410
HE'S ON HIS WAY
TO THE GREEN GROTTO
714
00:42:30,610 --> 00:42:32,610
TO HAVE LUNCH WITH
SOME GERMAN GENERAL.
715
00:42:32,610 --> 00:42:34,410
OH, I SEE.
WELL, LET'S GO.
716
00:42:37,010 --> 00:42:40,010
HELLO.
717
00:42:40,010 --> 00:42:42,610
HEY, CHRIS, LET'S NOT
TAKE YOUR CAR TODAY.WHY NOT?
718
00:42:42,610 --> 00:42:45,210
BECAUSE IT'S
A 7-PASSENGER CAR
AND THERE'S ONLY 2 OF US.
719
00:42:45,410 --> 00:42:46,210
BESIDES, IT'S OSTENTATIOUS.
720
00:42:46,410 --> 00:42:48,210
OSTENTA-- SPELL IT.
721
00:42:48,410 --> 00:42:50,210
UH, NEVER MIND.
LET'S TAKE MY NEW CAR.
722
00:42:50,210 --> 00:42:52,010
ALL RIGHT.
723
00:42:52,010 --> 00:42:53,810
WHERE DID YOU GET THIS?
724
00:42:54,010 --> 00:42:56,410
THAT'S NOT MY NEW CAR.
THERE'S THE CAR!
725
00:42:58,610 --> 00:43:00,410
WHICH MOVIE
DID YOU GET THIS FROM?
726
00:43:00,410 --> 00:43:02,210
IT'S A CUTE
LITTLE MOTHER, BABY!
727
00:43:02,410 --> 00:43:03,810
IT'D MAKE A NICE LAMP.
728
00:43:04,010 --> 00:43:04,410
HI, CHARLIE.
729
00:43:04,410 --> 00:43:05,410
HI. HOP IN!
730
00:43:05,610 --> 00:43:07,810
I'M AFRAID I'LL MISS.
731
00:43:07,810 --> 00:43:08,610
NICE CAR YOU'VE GOT. THANKS.
732
00:43:08,810 --> 00:43:09,210
IT'S SUPER!
733
00:43:12,210 --> 00:43:14,810
ALL RIGHT, YOU DRIVE IT
AND I'LL BURP IT.
734
00:43:15,010 --> 00:43:17,010
I TELL YOU, I GOT
THE BIGGEST HORNS IN TOWN.
735
00:43:17,010 --> 00:43:18,010
YOU CAN SAY THAT AGAIN.
736
00:43:18,210 --> 00:43:19,010
PUT YOUR SEAT BELT ON.
737
00:43:19,210 --> 00:43:20,210
SEAT BELT?
738
00:43:20,210 --> 00:43:21,810
SEAT BELT. A LITTLE MUSIC.
739
00:43:23,410 --> 00:43:25,410
HOLD ON!
740
00:43:30,410 --> 00:43:32,210
SUNDAY DRIVER!
741
00:43:32,410 --> 00:43:33,810
YOU'RE GOING TO
GET US ARRESTED.
742
00:43:34,010 --> 00:43:35,410
NOW BE--
JUST DRIVE THE CAR,
WILL YOU?
743
00:43:42,810 --> 00:43:45,610
WE'RE INTERRUPTING THE PROGRAM
TO BRING YOU A NEWS ITEM.
744
00:43:45,810 --> 00:43:48,610
GEN. MARK RUTNER,
THE CHIEF UNITED STATES
LIAISON OFFICER
745
00:43:48,810 --> 00:43:51,410
OF EUROPEAN DEFENSE,
746
00:43:51,410 --> 00:43:54,610
WAS THIS AFTERNOON KILLED
WHEN A MYSTERY EXPLOSION
WRECKED HIS CAR IN WHITEHALL.
747
00:43:54,810 --> 00:43:56,010
THE POLICE
ARE MAKING INQUIRIES.
748
00:43:56,210 --> 00:43:57,010
WOW.
749
00:43:58,410 --> 00:43:59,610
THIS IS MORE
THAN A COINCIDENCE.
750
00:43:59,810 --> 00:44:01,410
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
751
00:44:01,610 --> 00:44:04,810
WELL, THERE'S GREENGATES,
BRISKET, AND NOW RUTNER.
752
00:44:04,810 --> 00:44:06,010
YES.
753
00:44:06,010 --> 00:44:08,610
THIS IS A DEATH LIST.
754
00:44:08,810 --> 00:44:10,810
WELL, IT'S TIME
TO CALL COL. BALSOM, RIGHT?
755
00:44:11,010 --> 00:44:13,010
THANK GOD THE OTHER SIDE
DOESN'T KNOW WE'RE INVOLVED.
756
00:44:13,210 --> 00:44:14,810
AT LEAST IT'LL STOP US
FROM GETTING A BULLET
IN OUR BACK.
757
00:44:16,410 --> 00:44:17,210
WHAT WAS THAT?I DON'T KNOW!
758
00:44:22,010 --> 00:44:24,210
IT'S A BULLET HOLE!
759
00:44:24,210 --> 00:44:25,810
WELL, YOU'D BETTER--
WOULD YOU KEEP YOUR EYES
ON THE ROAD?
760
00:44:27,610 --> 00:44:29,810
OH, OH, OH!
LIFT UP THE PANEL!
761
00:44:30,010 --> 00:44:31,410
DOESN'T THIS PRAM
MOVE AT ALL?
762
00:44:31,410 --> 00:44:33,210
LIFT UP THE PANEL, WILL YOU?
763
00:44:33,410 --> 00:44:35,010
ALL RIGHT, COVER OFF.
COVER OFF!
764
00:44:35,010 --> 00:44:36,010
PRESS "B."
765
00:44:36,010 --> 00:44:36,610
WHAT FOR?
766
00:44:36,610 --> 00:44:38,410
BULLETPROOF PANEL!
767
00:44:42,610 --> 00:44:43,210
LOOK AT THAT!
768
00:44:52,210 --> 00:44:54,010
HEY, YOU SHOULD PATENT IT.
769
00:44:54,410 --> 00:44:55,610
WONDERFUL.
770
00:45:02,410 --> 00:45:03,410
I'D RATHER
HAVE THE BULLETS!
771
00:45:06,610 --> 00:45:07,810
WHAT THE HELL
HAVE YOU GOT HERE?
772
00:45:07,810 --> 00:45:09,410
I DON'T KNOW!
PRESS THAT BUTTON AGAIN!
773
00:45:18,210 --> 00:45:19,610
I CAN'T SEE ANYTHING!
774
00:45:48,210 --> 00:45:49,010
PRESS "N."
775
00:45:49,210 --> 00:45:50,410
WHAT'S THAT?
776
00:45:50,610 --> 00:45:52,210
THEY'RE NAILS.
THAT'LL PUNCTURE THEIR TIRES.
777
00:45:58,810 --> 00:46:00,610
GOOD SHOT, SIR!
778
00:46:04,210 --> 00:46:05,210
OH, NO!
779
00:46:13,010 --> 00:46:14,010
I'M GLAD IT'S NOT
OUR NEIGHBORHOOD!
780
00:46:14,210 --> 00:46:16,010
YOU'D BETTER BELIEVE IT!
781
00:46:24,810 --> 00:46:26,410
TURN IT OFF!HOW?
782
00:46:26,410 --> 00:46:27,810
I DON'T KNOW!
PRESS "N" AGAIN!
783
00:46:27,810 --> 00:46:29,010
I'M PRESSING "N" AGAIN!
784
00:46:31,410 --> 00:46:32,210
GOOD!
785
00:46:35,610 --> 00:46:36,810
PRESS "O."
786
00:46:37,010 --> 00:46:38,410
WHAT'LL THAT DO?
787
00:46:38,610 --> 00:46:40,410
IT POURS OUT OIL.
IT'LL MAKE THEM SKID!
788
00:46:40,410 --> 00:46:42,410
OIL!
789
00:46:43,810 --> 00:46:44,610
WE GOT RID OF 'EM!
790
00:46:44,610 --> 00:46:46,610
IT WORKED.
791
00:46:59,410 --> 00:47:00,610
GO ON, DRIVE.
GET US OUT OF HERE.
792
00:47:06,610 --> 00:47:08,610
HOLD ON!
793
00:47:14,010 --> 00:47:15,610
PRESS "S."
794
00:47:15,610 --> 00:47:18,210
WHAT'LL THAT...
NOT ON YOUR LIFE!
795
00:47:18,410 --> 00:47:20,410
IT STANDS FOR SMOKE!
IT'LL BLIND THEM!
796
00:47:26,610 --> 00:47:28,410
WE'VE WINGED THEM,
THEY'RE ON FIRE!
797
00:47:28,610 --> 00:47:30,210
ALL RIGHT, GET CLOSER!
CLOSER STILL!
798
00:47:36,610 --> 00:47:37,610
WISH YOU COULD INHALE!
799
00:47:40,010 --> 00:47:42,210
WE LOST A SHOE!
800
00:47:42,410 --> 00:47:43,010
MY GOODNESS.
WE'RE FALLING APART!
801
00:47:43,210 --> 00:47:46,210
NEXT TIME I'LL TAKE THE BUS!
802
00:47:53,610 --> 00:47:55,410
WELL, I'LL SEE YOU.
803
00:47:55,610 --> 00:47:57,010
NO, WAIT A MINUTE!
WE'RE SAFE! IT FLOATS!
804
00:47:57,010 --> 00:47:57,810
YES, BUT DO I?
805
00:47:57,810 --> 00:47:58,810
JUST WAIT, YOU'LL SEE.
806
00:47:59,010 --> 00:48:01,010
NOW WHAT'RE YOU GONNA DO?
807
00:48:01,010 --> 00:48:03,810
YOU'LL SEE.
ANOTHER SURPRISE!
808
00:48:07,010 --> 00:48:08,010
THEY'VE GONE
IN THE WATER!
809
00:48:08,010 --> 00:48:09,610
WELL, WE'VE GOT 'EM NOW.
810
00:48:12,410 --> 00:48:14,010
LET'S HURRY UP,
HE'S GOT A WHOLE
ARSENAL UP THERE!
811
00:48:17,010 --> 00:48:20,410
COME ON, BABY,
IF YOU'VE EVER WORKED
FOR ANYBODY, WORK FOR US NOW.
812
00:48:40,010 --> 00:48:41,810
DO YOU EVER GET THE FEELING
THAT YOU JUST WANT TO LAY BACK
813
00:48:41,810 --> 00:48:44,010
AND SORT OF PUT YOUR HAND
IN THE WATER?
814
00:49:04,210 --> 00:49:04,210
WE'VE SPRUNG A LEAK!
815
00:49:05,610 --> 00:49:08,010
WHAT'S THAT?
816
00:49:09,610 --> 00:49:10,610
HOLD IT!
817
00:49:15,810 --> 00:49:16,410
COME ON,
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!
818
00:49:16,610 --> 00:49:18,010
WAIT A MINUTE!
819
00:49:20,410 --> 00:49:22,010
WHAT DID THAT LITTLE KID
DO IN HOLLAND?I DON'T KNOW, HE--
820
00:49:22,010 --> 00:49:23,410
OH! HE STUCK
HIS FINGER IN IT, DIDN'T HE?THAT'S IT!
821
00:49:25,810 --> 00:49:27,210
THIS IS THE END.
822
00:49:29,010 --> 00:49:31,410
HELP! ANYBODY, HELP!
823
00:49:31,410 --> 00:49:33,410
WELL, WHAT DO YOU
WANT ME TO PRESS NOW?
824
00:49:33,610 --> 00:49:35,210
I DON'T KNOW!
825
00:49:37,410 --> 00:49:39,210
HELP!
826
00:49:39,210 --> 00:49:41,610
HELP!
DON'T JUST SIT THERE!
827
00:49:43,210 --> 00:49:44,610
YOU GOT THEM THAT TIME!
828
00:49:44,810 --> 00:49:46,010
WELL DONE, LET'S GO.
829
00:49:46,210 --> 00:49:46,810
LOOK AT THEM!
830
00:49:50,610 --> 00:49:53,810
NO SENSE IN SITTING HERE.
WE MIGHT AS WELL...
831
00:49:53,810 --> 00:49:55,410
WHAT NOW,
CAPT. BLIGH?
832
00:49:55,610 --> 00:49:56,810
SWIM HOME?
833
00:49:59,610 --> 00:50:00,010
COL. BALSOM, PLEASE.
CHRISTOPHER PEPPER HERE.
834
00:50:00,210 --> 00:50:02,010
AH, GOOD.
YOU REMEMBERED.
835
00:50:02,010 --> 00:50:04,010
REMEMBERED?
REMEMBERED WHAT?
836
00:50:04,010 --> 00:50:07,810
WHAT A CERTAIN UNFORTUNATE
YOUNG ORIENTAL SAID
BEFORE SHE DIED.
837
00:50:08,010 --> 00:50:10,010
WHAT?
OH--OH, THAT--THAT.
838
00:50:10,210 --> 00:50:13,610
YE-YES. WELL, I HAVE SOME VERY
IMPORTANT INFORMATION NOW. NOT ON THE PHONE.
839
00:50:13,810 --> 00:50:15,610
WE ARE NOT SCRAMBLED. WE WILL BE IN A MINUTE.
840
00:50:15,610 --> 00:50:17,410
LOOK, I NEED A BODYGUARD!
841
00:50:17,410 --> 00:50:18,610
YOU NEED 2!
842
00:50:18,610 --> 00:50:19,610
MAKE THAT 2!
843
00:50:19,610 --> 00:50:20,410
NOT ON THE PHONE!
844
00:50:22,210 --> 00:50:23,810
NOW LISTEN CAREFULLY.
845
00:50:24,010 --> 00:50:25,610
YOU WILL BE CONTACTED.
846
00:50:28,010 --> 00:50:29,010
WHAT DID HE SAY?
847
00:50:29,210 --> 00:50:32,010
WE'LL BE CONTACTED!
848
00:50:32,210 --> 00:50:34,210
LOOK, CHARLIE, HERE ON IN,
IT'S JUST YOU AND ME.
849
00:50:34,210 --> 00:50:36,010
WE HAVE TO STICK
TOGETHER LIKE LEECHES!
850
00:50:36,010 --> 00:50:37,010
LIKE GLUE.TOGETHERNESS!
851
00:50:37,210 --> 00:50:38,010
LIKE GLUE!WE--
852
00:50:39,210 --> 00:50:39,810
DON'T ANSWER THAT.
853
00:50:39,810 --> 00:50:42,010
COULD BE FROM BALSOM.
854
00:50:42,010 --> 00:50:42,210
SO FAST?
855
00:50:44,810 --> 00:50:46,010
HERE GOES.
856
00:50:46,010 --> 00:50:47,410
EASY, BUDDY.
857
00:50:51,010 --> 00:50:52,410
WHO IS IT?
858
00:50:52,610 --> 00:50:53,810
MARIANNE RENAUD.
859
00:50:55,810 --> 00:50:57,210
DON'T YOU KNOW
THIS--OH, HI!
860
00:50:57,210 --> 00:50:59,610
MAY I COME IN?
861
00:50:59,810 --> 00:51:00,410
I WAS JUST PASSING
AND WANTED A NICE QUIET DRINK,
SO I WONDERED--
862
00:51:00,610 --> 00:51:03,210
DON'T YOU THINK
I'LL JUST LEAVE!
863
00:51:03,410 --> 00:51:06,010
WHAT ABOUT TOGETHERNESS?
WHAT ABOUT WE WERE
NEVER TO BE ALONE,
864
00:51:06,210 --> 00:51:08,210
LIKE LEECHES,
LIKE GLUE, NEVER ALONE?
865
00:51:08,210 --> 00:51:10,010
WHAT DOES THIS
LOOK LIKE?
866
00:51:10,210 --> 00:51:11,210
I CAN'T WAIT TO--
867
00:51:11,210 --> 00:51:13,010
DON'T YOU EVER
THINK OF ANYONE ELSE?
868
00:51:13,010 --> 00:51:14,210
GET OUT!
869
00:51:17,210 --> 00:51:18,610
WELL, WHAT DO YOU
THINK OF IT?
870
00:51:20,010 --> 00:51:20,810
IT'S GORGEOUS!
871
00:51:26,210 --> 00:51:27,410
PEPPER!
872
00:51:29,810 --> 00:51:31,410
PEPPER!
873
00:51:31,610 --> 00:51:33,010
PEPPER!
874
00:51:33,210 --> 00:51:35,010
PEPPER, THAT GIRL.
SHE'S IN MY ROOM AGAIN.
875
00:51:35,010 --> 00:51:37,610
THAT CHINESE GIRL
IS THERE!
876
00:51:37,810 --> 00:51:39,210
SHE'S BEEN DEAD
FOR 2 DAYS.
877
00:51:39,410 --> 00:51:42,010
I KNOW THAT,
BUT NOW SHE'S BEING
DEAD IN THERE!
878
00:51:42,210 --> 00:51:44,810
SO SORRY,
WRONG HOTEL, FORGIVE ME.
879
00:51:46,010 --> 00:51:48,810
ALL RIGHT, I MADE A MISTAKE,
THEY ALL LOOK ALIKE TO ME.
880
00:51:48,810 --> 00:51:49,410
CAN'T TELL
ONE FROM ANOTHER.
881
00:51:49,610 --> 00:51:51,810
NOW WAIT A MINUTE.
882
00:51:51,810 --> 00:51:54,410
HOW DID SHE GET
IN YOUR APARTMENT,
AND WHY?
883
00:51:54,610 --> 00:51:56,410
I DON'T KNOW, BUT...
884
00:51:56,410 --> 00:51:57,010
LOOK, SHE WAS LAYING
RIGHT IN HERE.
885
00:51:57,210 --> 00:51:58,810
SHE WAS LAYING
RIGHT THERE.
886
00:51:59,010 --> 00:52:00,410
WHERE?
887
00:52:00,410 --> 00:52:02,010
RIGHT HERE
ON THE RUG!
888
00:52:02,210 --> 00:52:04,210
I WALKED IN MY DOOR
AND THERE SHE WAS, LAYING HERE
889
00:52:04,210 --> 00:52:07,410
WITH HER HAND UP THERE...
890
00:52:07,610 --> 00:52:08,810
THAT'S A FUNNY PLACE
TO PUT A COMPACT!
891
00:52:11,610 --> 00:52:13,210
CAN'T OPEN IT,
EITHER.
892
00:52:13,410 --> 00:52:14,610
IT'S PROBABLY
A TIME BOMB.A TIME...
893
00:52:14,610 --> 00:52:16,610
IT'S TICKING!WHAT?
894
00:52:16,810 --> 00:52:18,410
CHRIS,
IT'S TICKING!
895
00:52:19,410 --> 00:52:20,610
IT IS TICKING!
896
00:52:20,810 --> 00:52:23,210
I JUST SAID THAT!
897
00:52:23,210 --> 00:52:25,210
WHAT IS A COMPACT
WHEN IT TICKS?
898
00:52:25,410 --> 00:52:26,210
IT'S NO TIME
FOR RIDDLES!
899
00:52:26,410 --> 00:52:28,610
IT'S A TIME BOMB!
WATER! HELP!
900
00:52:28,610 --> 00:52:30,210
NO, NOT IN THE WATER!
IT'LL EXPLODE!
901
00:52:30,210 --> 00:52:32,010
I READ IT IN NEWSWEEK!
902
00:52:32,210 --> 00:52:33,210
DID IT ALSO TELL YOU
WHAT TO DO WHEN
SOMEONE THROWS ONE AT YOU?
903
00:52:33,410 --> 00:52:35,210
IT'S YOUR BOMB!I DON'T WANT IT!
904
00:52:35,410 --> 00:52:37,210
DON'T GIVE IT TO ME!
905
00:52:37,210 --> 00:52:37,610
WAIT FOR ME!
906
00:52:37,810 --> 00:52:39,410
HURRY UP!
907
00:52:39,610 --> 00:52:41,410
EXCUSE ME!
908
00:52:41,410 --> 00:52:42,610
I MAY HAVE TO
BREAK OUR DATE!
909
00:52:42,610 --> 00:52:43,610
LOOK OUT!
910
00:52:43,610 --> 00:52:44,610
NO!
911
00:52:44,810 --> 00:52:46,210
HERE, CHRIS!
912
00:52:47,210 --> 00:52:48,410
WHERE?
913
00:52:48,610 --> 00:52:50,010
I GAVE IT TO YOU!OH, GOD!
914
00:52:50,010 --> 00:52:51,010
WHAT IS THIS?
915
00:52:51,210 --> 00:52:52,410
WHAT IS HAPPENING?
916
00:52:54,410 --> 00:52:54,810
THE DRAIN!
THE DRAIN!
917
00:53:01,610 --> 00:53:04,010
IT'S IN THERE!
918
00:53:15,210 --> 00:53:18,210
MR. SALT! MR. PEPPER!
919
00:53:18,210 --> 00:53:21,410
ONE MOMENT, PLEASE!
920
00:53:21,410 --> 00:53:24,210
THERE, THEN, WHAT DID YOU
PUT DOWN THAT DRAIN?
921
00:53:24,410 --> 00:53:27,010
OH, A-ANTISEPTIC, SIR.
SEWERS STINK!
922
00:53:27,010 --> 00:53:28,610
INSPECTOR,
MOVE YOUR CAR!
923
00:53:28,810 --> 00:53:30,010
I WILL NOT
MOVE MY CAR!
924
00:53:30,010 --> 00:53:31,210
INSPECTOR,
MOVE YOUR CAR!
925
00:53:31,410 --> 00:53:33,010
YOU TWO ARE
UP TO SOMETHING!
926
00:53:33,010 --> 00:53:35,610
AND IF NECESSARY,
I SHALL STAY HERE
UNTIL DOOMSDAY!
927
00:53:37,010 --> 00:53:38,010
DOOMSDAY!
928
00:53:57,010 --> 00:53:58,410
DO ME A FAVOR.
929
00:54:01,810 --> 00:54:04,010
OH, YES, SIR. YES, SIR.
WALTERS HERE, SIR.
930
00:54:04,210 --> 00:54:06,410
WE HAVE BUGGED
SALT AND PEPPER'S
APARTMENT, SIR.
931
00:54:06,610 --> 00:54:08,810
OH, THAT'S GOOD. EVERYTHING OK, WALTERS?
932
00:54:09,010 --> 00:54:10,810
OH, YES, YES,
EVERYTHING'S OK, SIR.
933
00:54:11,010 --> 00:54:12,610
YOU CAN
LET THEM GO, SIR.
934
00:54:16,410 --> 00:54:18,010
LOVELY!
935
00:54:18,010 --> 00:54:19,210
DOESN'T LOOK
TOO GOOD.
936
00:54:19,410 --> 00:54:22,410
NOW HOW DO YOU SUPPOSE
HE SPRUNG US SO FAST?
937
00:54:22,610 --> 00:54:24,010
I HAVEN'T
THE FAINTEST IDEA!
938
00:54:24,210 --> 00:54:26,210
WHY DON'T WE BRUSH OUR TEETH
AND LEAVE LONDON FOR A WHILE?
939
00:54:26,210 --> 00:54:30,210
THAT'S A GOOD IDEA,
OLLIE.
940
00:54:30,210 --> 00:54:33,410
I MEAN, IT'S A NICE PLACE
TO VISIT, BUT I DON'T
WANT TO DIE HERE.
941
00:54:38,810 --> 00:54:39,610
OH, WALTERS,
BREAKFAST.
942
00:54:39,610 --> 00:54:41,610
THANK YOU VERY
MUCH INDEED, SIR.
943
00:54:41,810 --> 00:54:43,610
DID YOU, UH,
SEARCH THEIR FLATS?
944
00:54:43,610 --> 00:54:46,410
OH, YES, SIR. NO DOPE,
AMMUNITION, CONTRABAND,
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, SIR.
945
00:54:46,610 --> 00:54:48,610
NOTHING AT ALL, SIR. OH,
WE DID FIND THIS, THOUGH, SIR.
946
00:54:48,610 --> 00:54:50,010
IT WAS UNDER
PEPPER'S MATTRESS.
947
00:54:50,210 --> 00:54:51,410
A COMPACT, EH?
SO HE LIKES WOMEN.
948
00:54:51,610 --> 00:54:54,410
YES.
THERE'S ONLY ONE THING, SIR.
IT WON'T OPEN, SIR.
949
00:54:54,610 --> 00:54:56,410
IT'S A CHEAP COMPACT,
SO HE LIKES CHEAP WOMEN.
950
00:54:56,610 --> 00:54:58,210
YOU'D BETTER LET
THEM HAVE IT BACK, SIR.
951
00:54:58,210 --> 00:55:01,610
AND LET THEM
KNOW WE'VE SEARCHED
WITHOUT A WARRANT? NIT!
952
00:55:01,810 --> 00:55:02,210
THE COMMISSIONER, SIR.
LOOK!
953
00:55:02,410 --> 00:55:04,810
WHAT? OH!
954
00:55:10,010 --> 00:55:12,010
GOOD MORNING,
COMMISSIONER, SIR.
955
00:55:12,210 --> 00:55:15,410
YOU ARE AN EARLY BIRD, SIR,
IF I MAY SAY SO, SIR.
956
00:55:15,610 --> 00:55:18,410
WHAT'S THIS I HEAR
ABOUT YOUR CAR
BEING BLOWN UP?
957
00:55:18,410 --> 00:55:20,810
TRUE, TRUE,
IF I MAY SAY SO, SIR.
958
00:55:20,810 --> 00:55:23,010
A WRITE-OFF.
I SHALL NEED A NEW ONE.
959
00:55:23,210 --> 00:55:24,810
INSP. CRABBE,
POLICE OFFICERS
960
00:55:24,810 --> 00:55:26,610
WHO ALLOW THEIR
CARS TO GET BLOWN UP
961
00:55:26,810 --> 00:55:28,810
WILL, IN FUTURE,
RIDE BICYCLES.
962
00:55:28,810 --> 00:55:30,010
DO I MAKE
MYSELF CLEAR?
963
00:55:43,810 --> 00:55:46,210
DAMN! I KNEW
SHE'D BE GONE.
964
00:55:46,410 --> 00:55:47,810
WELL, I COULD HAVE
WON ANOTHER 5 POUNDS.
965
00:56:08,610 --> 00:56:09,410
YOU'RE BUGGED!
966
00:56:09,610 --> 00:56:11,610
BUGGED?
I AM MORTIFIED!
967
00:56:11,610 --> 00:56:13,810
DON'T YOU KNOW
WHERE I'M FROM?
968
00:56:14,010 --> 00:56:17,010
I DON'T KNOW WHERE
YOU'RE FROM, BUT THIS
DEFINITELY AIN'T A LOVE-IN!
969
00:56:17,210 --> 00:56:18,810
I'M FROM COL. B.!
970
00:56:19,010 --> 00:56:20,610
NO, BALSOM!
971
00:56:20,810 --> 00:56:21,410
SHH.
972
00:56:34,810 --> 00:56:35,810
THAT'LL FIX
THEIR EARDRUMS.
973
00:56:35,810 --> 00:56:37,610
HERE, YOU BETTER
TAKE ONE, TOO.
974
00:56:37,610 --> 00:56:39,410
THEY'VE PROBABLY BUGGED
YOUR APARTMENT, TOO.
975
00:56:39,410 --> 00:56:39,810
WHO?INSP. CRABBE.
976
00:56:40,010 --> 00:56:41,610
OH, THAT'S GRAND.
977
00:56:41,810 --> 00:56:44,410
NOW, GENTLEMEN,
DO YOU HAVE A REPORT
FOR ME FOR COL. BALSOM?
978
00:56:57,010 --> 00:56:58,610
WALTERS!
979
00:56:58,610 --> 00:57:00,410
YOU HAVE ALLOWED
980
00:57:00,410 --> 00:57:03,410
3 OF THE GREATEST
DEFENSE BRAINS IN BRITAIN
TO BE MURDERED.
981
00:57:03,410 --> 00:57:06,610
NOW WAIT
A MINUTE, LADY.
982
00:57:06,610 --> 00:57:09,210
I MEAN, AIN'T THERE NO
CHANCE OF GETTING US
ANY PROTECTION AT ALL?
983
00:57:09,210 --> 00:57:11,810
NONE.
984
00:57:11,810 --> 00:57:14,810
AND IF THE OTHERS
DON'T GET YOU,
COL. BALSOM WILL.
985
00:57:15,210 --> 00:57:17,210
IF THE OTHERS
DON'T GET US...
986
00:57:17,410 --> 00:57:19,210
COL. BALSOM WILL.
987
00:57:19,410 --> 00:57:22,810
THUS 2 ATTEMPTS
TO DISPOSE OF
988
00:57:22,810 --> 00:57:24,410
CHARLES SALT
AND CHRISTOPHER PEPPER
HAVE FAILED, PRIME MINISTER.
989
00:57:24,610 --> 00:57:26,610
I THINK
YOU'LL FIND ALL
THE RELEVANT DETAILS THERE.
990
00:57:26,810 --> 00:57:27,810
AND THAT'S ALL
I'VE GOT FOR YOU.
991
00:57:27,810 --> 00:57:30,210
THANK YOU,
HOME SECRETARY.
992
00:57:32,610 --> 00:57:33,810
WITH THE DEATHS OF
ADMIRAL GREENGATES,
993
00:57:34,010 --> 00:57:38,810
F.M. BRISKET,
AND GEN. RUTNER,
994
00:57:39,010 --> 00:57:40,410
IT'S NO EXAGGERATION
TO SAY
995
00:57:40,610 --> 00:57:43,210
THAT GREAT BRITAIN IS NOW
A SHIP WITHOUT A RUDDER.
996
00:57:43,210 --> 00:57:45,210
YOU'VE HEARD
THAT INTELLIGENCE
997
00:57:45,410 --> 00:57:47,010
IS STRIVING TO DISCOVER
WHAT'S HAPPENING.
998
00:57:47,210 --> 00:57:49,610
SO FAR, WITHOUT SUCCESS.
999
00:57:49,810 --> 00:57:50,810
BUT I SHOULD LIKE TO RETURN
TO THESE 2 GENTLEMEN:
1000
00:57:51,010 --> 00:57:53,210
CHARLES SALT
AND CHRISTOPHER PEPPER.
1001
00:58:06,010 --> 00:58:09,610
DON'T KEEP
SAYING YOU INSTALLED
THE BUGS CORRECTLY. LISTEN.
1002
00:58:12,610 --> 00:58:15,610
I CAN'T UNDERSTAND IT, SIR.
1003
00:58:19,410 --> 00:58:19,810
SHALL WE TRY
SALT'S APARTMENT, SIR?
1004
00:58:19,810 --> 00:58:23,810
GOOD IDEA, WALTERS.
1005
00:58:23,810 --> 00:58:26,010
SAY, DID YOU PLANT THAT BOMB IN THE POLICE STATION,
1006
00:58:26,210 --> 00:58:28,010
LIKE I TOLD YOU, CHICAGO PHIL?
1007
00:58:28,010 --> 00:58:30,410
YEAH, I DID THAT, CHARLIE,
JUST THE WAY YOU SAID.
1008
00:58:30,610 --> 00:58:32,810
AND YOU KNOW SOMETHING,
IT WAS EASY.
1009
00:58:32,810 --> 00:58:34,610
RIGHT IN THE POLICE STATION,
AND IT'S GONNA GO
OFF WITH A BIG BANG!
1010
00:58:34,610 --> 00:58:38,010
YOU MEAN, YOU PLANTED IT IN THE POLICE STATION?
1011
00:58:38,010 --> 00:58:40,610
YEAH, THAT SHOULD FIX
YOUR FRIEND
1012
00:58:40,610 --> 00:58:42,210
INSP. CRABBE VERY GOOD,
SWEETHEART!
1013
00:58:42,810 --> 00:58:44,610
WALTERS.
1014
00:58:44,810 --> 00:58:46,010
SIR?
1015
00:58:46,210 --> 00:58:47,610
I THINK WE MUST
EVACUATE THE STATION.
1016
00:58:50,010 --> 00:58:51,210
EVACUATE THE STATION!
1017
00:58:54,810 --> 00:58:55,210
EVERYBODY OUT!
1018
00:58:56,810 --> 00:58:58,410
EVACUATE THE STATION!
1019
00:58:58,410 --> 00:59:00,210
WOMEN AND CHILDREN FIRST!
1020
00:59:01,810 --> 00:59:04,610
IT WAS A HOAX,
ALL RIGHT.
1021
00:59:04,610 --> 00:59:05,810
WE'VE BEEN THROUGH THE PLACE
WITH A TOOTHCOMB!
1022
00:59:05,810 --> 00:59:07,410
A HOAX!
1023
00:59:09,010 --> 00:59:11,810
SALT AND PEPPER!
1024
00:59:12,010 --> 00:59:13,410
COME ON, WALTERS,
GET SOME WORK DONE!
1025
00:59:13,610 --> 00:59:15,010
GET THESE PEOPLE
MOVING!
1026
00:59:15,010 --> 00:59:16,010
CLEAR THE STREET!
1027
00:59:22,810 --> 00:59:26,210
WELL, YOU REALLY GOOFED
THAT TIME, DIDN'T YOU?
1028
00:59:26,410 --> 00:59:28,010
MAYBE WE DID.
1029
00:59:28,210 --> 00:59:29,810
HMM, BUT I GOT
A SURPRISE FOR YOU, BOSS.
1030
00:59:30,010 --> 00:59:33,210
WE PLANTED A SECOND BOMB.
1031
00:59:33,410 --> 00:59:34,410
A SECOND BOMB?
1032
00:59:34,410 --> 00:59:37,010
HOW DID YOU GET IT
IN THE POLICE STATION?
1033
00:59:37,210 --> 00:59:40,610
EASY. ONE OF
THE SEARCHERS IS OUR MAN.
1034
00:59:40,610 --> 00:59:44,010
EVACUATE THE STATION!
1035
00:59:44,210 --> 00:59:46,410
NO, WE'VE GOT NO TIME
FOR THAT NOW, WALTERS!
1036
00:59:48,410 --> 00:59:50,410
AND THERE'S NO TIME FOR
THAT EITHER, SERGEANT!
1037
00:59:50,610 --> 00:59:51,210
EVACUATE THE STATION!
1038
00:59:57,610 --> 00:59:59,410
CHRISTOPHER PEPPER HERE.
1039
00:59:59,610 --> 01:00:01,210
PEPPER, YOU AND SALT
REPORT IMMEDIATELY
1040
01:00:01,210 --> 01:00:03,810
TO GILBERT'S BARBERSHOP,
21 SOHO LANE.
1041
01:00:04,010 --> 01:00:04,810
ASK FOR A CLOSE SHAVE.
1042
01:00:10,410 --> 01:00:11,810
THERE'S
A COUPLE OF BEAUTIES.
1043
01:00:11,810 --> 01:00:12,610
AND A POUND
OF TOMATOES.
1044
01:00:12,610 --> 01:00:16,610
A POUND OF
TOMATOES, LOVE?
1045
01:00:16,810 --> 01:00:18,810
DID BALSOM SAY
WHY HE WANTED US
TO MEET HIM IN A BARBERSHOP?
1046
01:00:18,810 --> 01:00:20,010
HE DID NOT.
1047
01:00:20,210 --> 01:00:22,610
HOW MUCH DO YOU TIP
FOR BEING MURDERED?
1048
01:00:22,610 --> 01:00:24,210
I TELL YOU,
THERE'S NO BOMB THERE!
1049
01:00:24,210 --> 01:00:26,210
AND I TELL YOU
THERE IS!
1050
01:00:26,210 --> 01:00:28,610
YOU FIND
THE BLOODY THING, THEN!
1051
01:00:31,410 --> 01:00:34,610
WELL, DON'T JUST
STAND THERE, GO AND
GET THE PLACE CLEANED UP!
1052
01:00:34,610 --> 01:00:38,010
WELL, DON'T JUST
STAND THERE, GO AND
GET THE PLACE CLEANED UP.
1053
01:00:40,810 --> 01:00:43,210
DON'T JUST STAND THERE, GO AND
GET THE PLACE CLEANED UP.
1054
01:01:02,210 --> 01:01:03,410
GOOD MORNING.
1055
01:01:03,410 --> 01:01:04,410
GOOD MORNING,
GENTLEMEN.
1056
01:01:04,410 --> 01:01:04,810
GOOD MORNING.
1057
01:01:05,010 --> 01:01:06,810
2 CLOSE SHAVES.
1058
01:01:06,810 --> 01:01:08,010
YES, BUT NOT
TOO CLOSE.
1059
01:01:08,210 --> 01:01:09,210
SIT DOWN, SIR.
1060
01:01:12,810 --> 01:01:15,210
I SAW A MOVIE ONCE
WHERE 2 GUYS
WENT INTO A BARBERSHOP,
1061
01:01:15,410 --> 01:01:17,010
AND THEY SAT
DOWN IN THE CHAIR...
1062
01:01:17,210 --> 01:01:19,210
WHAT HAPPENED?
1063
01:01:19,210 --> 01:01:20,410
THEY WERE--
1064
01:01:28,210 --> 01:01:31,010
GOOD MORNING, SIR.
CAN I HELP YOU, SIR?
1065
01:01:31,010 --> 01:01:33,810
HAIRCUT, SIR?
SIT DOWN, SIR, YOU'RE NEXT.
1066
01:01:34,010 --> 01:01:34,610
WHERE ARE THEY?
1067
01:01:34,810 --> 01:01:35,810
WHO?
1068
01:01:36,010 --> 01:01:38,410
THE 2 MEN THAT
JUST CAME IN HERE.
1069
01:01:38,410 --> 01:01:41,410
NOBODY HERE.
TAKE A LOOK FOR YOURSELF.
1070
01:01:49,610 --> 01:01:52,410
HEY, UH,
1071
01:01:52,610 --> 01:01:54,410
DO YOU REMEMBER THAT MOVIE
YOU WERE TELLING ME ABOUT?
1072
01:01:54,610 --> 01:01:55,410
YEAH?
1073
01:01:55,610 --> 01:01:56,810
THE 2 MEN IN
THE BARBER CHAIRS?
1074
01:01:56,810 --> 01:01:58,610
MMM-HMM.
1075
01:01:58,810 --> 01:02:00,810
WELL, DO ME A FAVOR.
DON'T TELL ME THE ENDING.
1076
01:02:01,010 --> 01:02:03,610
DON'T WORRY, I WON'T.
1077
01:02:03,810 --> 01:02:04,010
WHERE ARE WE?
1078
01:02:05,210 --> 01:02:07,810
I DON'T KNOW.
1079
01:02:07,810 --> 01:02:10,810
BUT WHEREVER WE ARE,
IT'S NOT ONE OF
THEIR BEST ROOMS.
1080
01:02:10,810 --> 01:02:13,010
IT AIN'T GOT NO WINDOWS.
1081
01:02:13,210 --> 01:02:15,410
IT'S A SHIP'S CABIN.
IT'S BEEN HOURS.
1082
01:02:18,010 --> 01:02:20,410
THAT CAT DRUGGED US
AFTER WE WENT INTO
THE BARBER CHAIR.
1083
01:02:20,410 --> 01:02:22,210
YOUR FRIEND BALSOM
GOES TOO FAR!
1084
01:02:22,210 --> 01:02:24,010
HE'S NO FRIEND OF MINE,
AND THIS DOESN'T
SMACK OF BALSOM.
1085
01:02:24,210 --> 01:02:27,410
YOU SAID HE CALLED.
1086
01:02:27,410 --> 01:02:30,810
I ASSUMED HE CALLED.
I COULD BE WRONG.
1087
01:02:30,810 --> 01:02:34,010
ALL RIGHT, THE ONLY THING
LEFT FOR US TO DO IS
TO GET OUT OF HERE.
1088
01:02:34,010 --> 01:02:35,210
THAT'S VERY EASY.
1089
01:02:42,410 --> 01:02:43,210
I SAW THIS MOVIE ONCE...
1090
01:02:43,410 --> 01:02:44,610
OH, NO.
1091
01:02:44,810 --> 01:02:46,210
NOW LISTEN, PLEASE.
1092
01:02:46,410 --> 01:02:47,210
IN THE MOVIE, WHEN THE GUYS
FELL INTO A THING,
1093
01:02:47,410 --> 01:02:50,410
FUNNILY ENOUGH
THEY FELL INTO A SHIP, RIGHT?
1094
01:02:50,410 --> 01:02:52,410
AND THEN, THE GUYS WERE
LOCKED INTO A CABIN.
1095
01:02:52,610 --> 01:02:56,010
AND ONE OF THE GUYS
HEARD THE GUYS
WALKING DOWN THE HALLWAY.
1096
01:02:56,010 --> 01:02:57,810
HE TURNED
AROUND AND GAVE IT--
1097
01:02:58,010 --> 01:03:00,610
I WOULDN'T DO
THAT IF I WERE YOU,
YOU'LL FALL RIGHT ON YOUR--
1098
01:03:00,810 --> 01:03:03,810
AS I WAS SAYING,
HE WALKED IN,
1099
01:03:04,010 --> 01:03:06,810
UNSUSPECTING OF
THE GUYS INSIDE.
1100
01:03:06,810 --> 01:03:07,810
THE GUY INSIDE
TURNED AROUND...
1101
01:03:13,410 --> 01:03:15,210
BRILLIANT!
1102
01:03:15,210 --> 01:03:17,210
IT'S NICE TO
KNOW I'M NOT JUST
ANOTHER PRETTY FACE!
1103
01:03:17,210 --> 01:03:18,010
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.
1104
01:03:21,210 --> 01:03:22,410
COME ON, LET'S GO.
1105
01:03:22,410 --> 01:03:23,610
WHAT'S WRONG?
1106
01:03:29,810 --> 01:03:32,010
NUCLEAR MISSILES.
1107
01:03:32,210 --> 01:03:33,410
WHAT?
1108
01:03:33,610 --> 01:03:33,810
WE'RE ON
A POLARIS SUBMARINE.
1109
01:03:34,010 --> 01:03:35,210
SO?
1110
01:03:35,210 --> 01:03:37,610
THAT MEANS WE'RE SAFE,
CHARLIE BOY.
1111
01:03:37,810 --> 01:03:39,210
WE ARE?
1112
01:03:39,210 --> 01:03:41,610
THIS IS A ROYAL NAVY SUB.
1113
01:03:41,810 --> 01:03:42,810
IT MIGHT BE
THE ROYAL NAVY SUB TO YOU,
1114
01:03:42,810 --> 01:03:44,810
BUT TO ME,
IT'S THE BOSTON TEA PARTY.
1115
01:03:45,010 --> 01:03:47,010
LET'S GET
OUT OF HERE, HUH?
1116
01:03:47,610 --> 01:03:50,010
UH-OH, THESE ARE
SOME OF MY PEOPLE.
1117
01:03:50,210 --> 01:03:51,610
HELLO, LIEUTENANT.
1118
01:03:55,010 --> 01:03:56,210
YOUR PEOPLE?
1119
01:04:04,410 --> 01:04:06,210
LOOK AT THIS,
WILL YOU?
1120
01:04:06,410 --> 01:04:08,610
READ THAT.
1121
01:04:11,810 --> 01:04:15,010
"INSTRUCTIONS FOR R-DAY:
1122
01:04:15,210 --> 01:04:18,010
"THE HERCULESWILL,
AS A WARNING,
FIRE ONE NUCLEAR MISSILE
1123
01:04:18,210 --> 01:04:21,010
"AT THE UNINHABITED
ISLAND OF MACCRAW.
1124
01:04:21,010 --> 01:04:22,810
"THE BRITISH GOVERNMENT
WILL HAVE THEN
1125
01:04:22,810 --> 01:04:25,810
"30 MINUTES
IN WHICH TO RESIGN.
1126
01:04:26,010 --> 01:04:27,010
"FAILURE TO DO THIS
WILL NECESSITATE THE FI...
1127
01:04:30,610 --> 01:04:32,610
"FAILURE TO DO THIS
WILL NECESSITATE
1128
01:04:32,810 --> 01:04:35,210
"THE FIRING OF
A SECOND MISSILE
1129
01:04:35,410 --> 01:04:38,210
AT A DENSELY POPULATED AREA
OF THE BRITISH ISLES."
1130
01:04:44,010 --> 01:04:45,610
IT'S A REVOLUTION.
1131
01:04:46,810 --> 01:04:48,610
WHAT?
1132
01:04:50,410 --> 01:04:52,010
IT'S A DAMN REVOLUTION!
1133
01:04:53,410 --> 01:04:55,410
CHRIS. LET'S GET
OUT OF HERE.
1134
01:04:55,610 --> 01:04:57,610
BEFORE ONE OF
YOUR PEOPLE KILLS
1135
01:04:57,810 --> 01:05:01,810
ONE OF MY PEOPLE,
WHICH IS NAMELY ME!
1136
01:05:02,010 --> 01:05:06,010
TELL ME, HOW THE HELL
DO YOU GET OUT
OF A SUBMARINE?
1137
01:05:06,210 --> 01:05:07,610
I DON'T KNOW,
BUT THE QUICKER
THE BETTER.
1138
01:05:12,610 --> 01:05:13,610
HE'S YOURS!
1139
01:05:13,810 --> 01:05:15,010
CHARGE!
1140
01:05:17,410 --> 01:05:19,010
OVER THERE.THIS WAY. FOLLOW ME.
1141
01:05:24,010 --> 01:05:25,210
IT'S FOR YOU.
1142
01:05:35,010 --> 01:05:36,210
NOW, WAIT A MINUTE.
1143
01:05:36,210 --> 01:05:39,010
IT'S ONLY FAIR
FOR ME TO WARN YOU
1144
01:05:39,010 --> 01:05:40,210
THAT THESE ARE
LETHAL WEAPONS!
1145
01:05:59,010 --> 01:06:00,210
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?YEAH, I'M ALL RIGHT.
1146
01:06:00,210 --> 01:06:02,010
TURN OFF
THAT DAMN MACHINE.
1147
01:06:13,010 --> 01:06:13,410
COME ON.
1148
01:06:19,810 --> 01:06:19,810
WELL!
1149
01:06:33,010 --> 01:06:34,010
RULE BRITANNIA!
1150
01:06:34,210 --> 01:06:35,010
AND A YANKEE
DOODLE DANDY!
1151
01:06:35,010 --> 01:06:36,010
VOILA!
1152
01:07:04,810 --> 01:07:05,410
SEE ANYTHING?
1153
01:07:05,610 --> 01:07:07,810
NOTHING ON DECK, SIR.
1154
01:07:08,010 --> 01:07:11,010
WELL, SHOOT ON SIGHT.
THEY MUSTN'T ESCAPE ALIVE.
COME ON, THIS WAY.
1155
01:07:11,210 --> 01:07:11,810
THEY'VE BEEN ON DECK,
WE MUST BE ON THE SURFACE.
1156
01:07:32,410 --> 01:07:34,410
RIGHT, COME ON, THIS WAY!
1157
01:07:34,410 --> 01:07:36,010
WE MUST GET THEM NOW!
1158
01:07:36,210 --> 01:07:37,010
CAN YOU SWIM?
1159
01:07:37,210 --> 01:07:39,010
NO, I CAN'T SWIM!
1160
01:07:39,210 --> 01:07:40,210
GO ON, GET THEM!
1161
01:07:40,210 --> 01:07:41,610
I CAN SWIM!
1162
01:07:49,610 --> 01:07:51,410
WHAT THE...
1163
01:07:56,010 --> 01:07:57,810
LOOK, THERE THEY ARE,
GET THEM!
1164
01:08:35,610 --> 01:08:36,810
LET'S GO.
1165
01:08:51,810 --> 01:08:52,010
OVER HERE.
1166
01:09:03,210 --> 01:09:04,610
NOW THIS IS A SEWER!
1167
01:09:04,810 --> 01:09:06,810
THAT'S ALL WE NEED.
1168
01:09:07,010 --> 01:09:08,010
I WONDER WHO OWNS IT.
1169
01:09:15,210 --> 01:09:17,810
THERE'S ONLY ONE LEFT.
1170
01:09:26,810 --> 01:09:29,410
GOOD WORK.
1171
01:09:29,610 --> 01:09:31,210
THAT'S THE RIVER DOWN THERE.
WE'LL NEVER GET OUT THAT WAY.
1172
01:09:31,410 --> 01:09:32,610
TELL YOU WHAT,
LET'S HOLE UP IN HERE.
1173
01:09:32,610 --> 01:09:35,210
THEY'LL THINK WE GOT AWAY.
DAYLIGHT, WE MAKE OUR BREAK.
1174
01:09:35,410 --> 01:09:36,410
OK.
1175
01:09:38,410 --> 01:09:39,810
2 GUYS WERE--
1176
01:09:41,010 --> 01:09:42,410
NOBODY THERE, SIR.
1177
01:09:42,410 --> 01:09:44,810
FOLLOW ME, THIS WAY.
1178
01:09:48,810 --> 01:09:50,610
ALL RIGHT,
FLASH YOUR LIGHT
OVER THERE.
1179
01:09:50,810 --> 01:09:52,010
THERE'S NO SIGN
OF THEM HERE.
1180
01:09:52,210 --> 01:09:53,010
ALL RIGHT, TAKE YOUR GROUP
AND SEARCH THE RIVER AREA.
1181
01:09:53,210 --> 01:09:55,610
THE REST, FOLLOW ME.
THEY MUSTN'T ESCAPE.
1182
01:10:02,210 --> 01:10:04,410
THERE YOU ARE.
1183
01:10:08,010 --> 01:10:08,610
CHRIS? WHAT?
1184
01:10:08,610 --> 01:10:10,210
IS THIS A NIGHTMARE?
1185
01:10:10,410 --> 01:10:12,210
I HOPE SO.
1186
01:10:12,410 --> 01:10:14,810
THERE'S ONLY ONE THING
I WANT TO KNOW, THOUGH.WHAT?
1187
01:10:15,010 --> 01:10:17,410
AM I IN YOURS, OR
ARE YOU IN MINE?
1188
01:10:17,610 --> 01:10:19,210
I KNOW IT'S LATE IN THE DAY,
PRIME MINISTER.
1189
01:10:19,410 --> 01:10:22,010
I KNOW THAT MY REMARKS
MAY SOUND TREASONABLE.
1190
01:10:22,010 --> 01:10:24,610
BUT ONE CANNOT CONTROL
THE DICTATES OF
ONE'S CONSCIENCE,
1191
01:10:24,810 --> 01:10:27,810
AND MINE WOULD NOT ALLOW ME
TO PROCEED WITH
THE PLAN AS OUTLINED.
1192
01:10:27,810 --> 01:10:30,610
AND WHAT IS YOUR ALTERNATIVE,
HOME SECRETARY?
1193
01:10:30,610 --> 01:10:32,610
I'LL GO AHEAD WITH THE THREAT,
BUT NO FURTHER.
1194
01:10:32,610 --> 01:10:34,210
AND IF THE THREAT FAILS?
1195
01:10:35,610 --> 01:10:37,210
THEN WE FAIL.
1196
01:10:38,410 --> 01:10:39,210
NOT GOOD ENOUGH.
1197
01:10:39,410 --> 01:10:41,810
WE CANNOT, MUST NOT FAIL.
1198
01:10:41,810 --> 01:10:44,810
NOW, GENTLEMEN,
1199
01:10:45,010 --> 01:10:48,210
WE HAVE TO DECIDE
ON WHICH BRITISH CITY
THE ATOMIC MISSILE IS TO FALL,
1200
01:10:48,410 --> 01:10:52,410
SHOULD IT UNHAPPILY
BE FOUND NECESSARY TO FIRE.
1201
01:11:17,610 --> 01:11:19,610
AM I GLAD
TO SEE YOU.
1202
01:11:19,610 --> 01:11:22,210
WELL, THIS HAD BETTER
BE GOOD, DRAGGING ME OUT
AT THIS HOUR.
1203
01:11:22,210 --> 01:11:24,610
WELL, TRY THIS,
COLONEL.
1204
01:11:24,610 --> 01:11:25,810
LAST NIGHT WE WERE KIDNAPPED
AND TAKEN ABOARD
A POLARIS SUBMARINE.
1205
01:11:26,010 --> 01:11:27,610
TAKEN ABOARD WHAT?
1206
01:11:27,610 --> 01:11:30,210
A BRITISH POLARIS SUBMARINE,
CALLED THE HERCULES.
1207
01:11:30,210 --> 01:11:32,210
THE HERCULES?
SHE'S BEEN AT SEA FOR MONTHS.
1208
01:11:32,410 --> 01:11:35,610
I BEG YOUR PARDON,
SHE'S IN A FIELD
5 MILES DOWN THE ROAD.
1209
01:11:35,810 --> 01:11:37,610
A 9,000-TON SUBMARINE?
1210
01:11:37,810 --> 01:11:38,810
ON DRY LAND?YEAH.
1211
01:11:38,810 --> 01:11:41,010
IN A FIELD?
1212
01:11:41,010 --> 01:11:43,410
SURROUNDED BY BARBED WIRE,
GUYS WITH GUNS,
DOGS, AND TANKS.
1213
01:11:43,410 --> 01:11:46,010
WHAT HE'S TRYING
TO SAY IS SHE'S UNDER
THE UTMOST SECURITY.
1214
01:11:46,210 --> 01:11:47,010
FASCINATING.
1215
01:11:47,210 --> 01:11:48,610
ANY IDEA
WHAT IT'S DOING THERE?
1216
01:11:48,810 --> 01:11:51,210
VERY SIMPLY,
REVOLUTION.
1217
01:11:52,010 --> 01:11:53,810
REVOLUTION.
1218
01:11:54,010 --> 01:11:55,010
THEY ARE GOING TO
FIRE AN ATOMIC MISSILE
1219
01:11:55,210 --> 01:11:58,010
INTO A DESOLATE ISLAND
IN THE HEBRIDES.
1220
01:11:58,210 --> 01:11:59,010
WHATEVER FOR?
1221
01:12:00,410 --> 01:12:03,410
TO SHOW THEIR STRENGTH.
1222
01:12:03,410 --> 01:12:04,810
THEN THEY'RE GOING TO ASK
THE GOVERNMENT TO RESIGN.
1223
01:12:05,010 --> 01:12:07,410
IF THEY REFUSE,
THEY'RE GOING TO SEND
A SECOND MISSILE
1224
01:12:07,410 --> 01:12:11,810
INTO AN INHABITED AREA.
1225
01:12:12,010 --> 01:12:12,610
THEY TOLD YOU ALL THIS,
OF COURSE.YEAH.
1226
01:12:12,810 --> 01:12:15,610
WHO ARE THEY?
1227
01:12:15,610 --> 01:12:18,610
THE GUYS YOU TOLD US
IF WE RAN INTO,
TO GET IN TOUCH WITH YOU.
1228
01:12:18,610 --> 01:12:19,810
WELL, WE RAN INTO THEM.
1229
01:12:20,010 --> 01:12:20,410
ON THE HERCULES?
1230
01:12:20,610 --> 01:12:22,010
ON THE HERCULES.
1231
01:12:22,010 --> 01:12:23,410
IN A FIELD?
1232
01:12:23,410 --> 01:12:25,610
IN A FIELD.
1233
01:12:25,810 --> 01:12:28,010
WE HAVE PROOF ON...
SHOW HIM THE PAPER.
1234
01:12:28,210 --> 01:12:29,010
WHY DIDN'T I
THINK OF THAT?
1235
01:12:29,210 --> 01:12:30,210
OF COURSE WE CAN--HURRY UP.
1236
01:12:33,210 --> 01:12:35,010
OH. REMEMBER WHEN WE WERE
IN THE WATER UP TO HERE,
1237
01:12:35,010 --> 01:12:38,610
YOU HAD ONE MATCH,
WE COULDN'T SEE, I LIT...
1238
01:12:38,810 --> 01:12:40,610
THAT WAS THE PAPER.
1239
01:12:40,810 --> 01:12:41,610
NO PAPER.
1240
01:12:41,810 --> 01:12:43,410
NO PAPER.
1241
01:12:43,410 --> 01:12:45,410
NO PAPER, HUH?
1242
01:12:45,410 --> 01:12:47,610
NO, THERE'S NO PAPER.
1243
01:12:47,810 --> 01:12:49,810
BUT YOU COULD
PRODUCE THE SUBMARINE?
1244
01:12:51,210 --> 01:12:52,410
NOW THAT WE CAN DO.
1245
01:12:52,610 --> 01:12:54,210
WHY NOT PRODUCE IT NOW?
1246
01:12:54,410 --> 01:12:55,810
I CAN HARDLY WAIT.
1247
01:12:55,810 --> 01:12:57,010
WELL, COME ON!
1248
01:12:58,610 --> 01:12:59,610
WILL YOU COME ON?
1249
01:13:13,610 --> 01:13:15,410
WHERE DID THEY ALL GO?
1250
01:13:15,410 --> 01:13:17,610
I MEAN, THE JEEPS,
THE GUYS WITH THE GUNS,
AND THE DOGS?
1251
01:13:17,610 --> 01:13:21,210
AND THE SUBMARINE?
1252
01:13:21,210 --> 01:13:22,810
THE SUBMARINE!
WE KNOW WHERE THAT IS!
1253
01:13:22,810 --> 01:13:24,610
RIGHT DOWN THE ROAD.
COME ON.
1254
01:13:25,010 --> 01:13:26,410
WELL, AIN'T YOU COMIN'?
1255
01:13:46,410 --> 01:13:47,810
WHERE IS IT?
1256
01:13:55,010 --> 01:13:57,610
WHAT THE...
1257
01:13:59,410 --> 01:14:01,410
SHE WAS LYING RIGHT HERE.
1258
01:14:01,410 --> 01:14:02,410
I-I-IT'S GONE.
1259
01:14:02,610 --> 01:14:05,410
SUBMERGED, PERHAPS?
1260
01:14:05,410 --> 01:14:07,410
I TELL YOU, IT WAS
RIGHT HERE, COLONEL.
1261
01:14:07,410 --> 01:14:08,410
THE COW CAN
TELL YOU THAT. IT...
1262
01:14:09,810 --> 01:14:11,410
COWS CAN'T TALK.
COLONEL, WAIT!
1263
01:14:12,810 --> 01:14:16,210
COLONEL, WAIT A SECOND!
1264
01:14:16,410 --> 01:14:18,410
COLONEL, COLONEL,
YOU'VE GOT TO BELIEVE US.
1265
01:14:18,410 --> 01:14:21,210
BESIDES EVERYTHING ELSE,
THEY'RE TRYING TO KILL US.
1266
01:14:21,410 --> 01:14:22,810
WELL, THEN, THEY CAN'T
BE ALL BAD, CAN THEY?
1267
01:14:26,010 --> 01:14:30,410
IT'S A MIRACLE
THE MOCK-UP SUBMARINE
WAS DISMANTLED IN TIME.
1268
01:14:30,610 --> 01:14:33,610
I HOPE THIS
DOESN'T SLOW OUR MEN DOWN
ON THEIR TRAINING PROGRAM.
1269
01:14:33,810 --> 01:14:36,010
SALT AND PEPPER
SHOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN
TAKEN ABOARD ANYWAY.
1270
01:14:36,210 --> 01:14:37,810
IT WASN'T INTENDED
THEY SHOULD BE.
1271
01:14:38,010 --> 01:14:39,410
A MISTAKE WAS MADE, SIR.
1272
01:14:39,610 --> 01:14:41,610
THESE LAST FEW HOURS
ARE VITAL.
1273
01:14:41,810 --> 01:14:43,610
THOSE MEN MUST BE
FOUND AND SILENCED.
1274
01:14:43,810 --> 01:14:44,810
PERMANENTLY SILENCED.
1275
01:14:54,810 --> 01:14:57,610
WE'RE CLUTCHING AT STRAWS,
PRIME MINISTER,
1276
01:14:57,810 --> 01:14:59,810
LOOKING FOR
ANY KIND OF LEAD.
1277
01:14:59,810 --> 01:15:01,410
FIND ONE, BALSOM,
AND DON'T FAIL ME.
1278
01:15:05,210 --> 01:15:06,610
NEED I SAY MORE?
1279
01:15:08,210 --> 01:15:10,210
HEY, INSPECTOR!
INSPECTOR. INSPECT--
1280
01:15:12,210 --> 01:15:14,010
DO YOU MIND, WALTERS?
1281
01:15:14,210 --> 01:15:16,010
I'M TERRIBLY SORRY, SIR.
LOOK SIR, WE--WE JUST
CAUGHT A MAN, SIR.
1282
01:15:16,010 --> 01:15:18,810
TRYING TO SMUGGLE 2 PARCELS
INTO SALT AND PEPPER'S
UP THE FIRE ESCAPE.
1283
01:15:18,810 --> 01:15:22,410
I'M--I'M AFRAID
THE MAN GOT AWAY, SIR,
BUT WE GOT THE PARCELS, SIR.
1284
01:15:22,410 --> 01:15:23,410
BOTH ADDRESSED TO
SALT AND PEPPER.
1285
01:15:23,410 --> 01:15:25,410
THIS MAY BE THE KEY.
DOPE? DRUGS?
1286
01:15:25,610 --> 01:15:27,210
CONTRABAND.
1287
01:15:27,410 --> 01:15:29,010
EXACTLY, WALTERS.
COME ALONG TO THE STATION.
1288
01:15:29,010 --> 01:15:31,010
RIGHT.
1289
01:15:31,210 --> 01:15:33,010
IT SEEMS I'M SURROUNDED
BY INCOMPETENTS.
1290
01:15:33,210 --> 01:15:35,610
SORRY, SIR,
1291
01:15:35,810 --> 01:15:37,410
BUT THE POLICE
MUST HAVE BEEN
WATCHING THE PLACE
1292
01:15:37,610 --> 01:15:38,410
AND THEY TOOK
THE BOMBS OFF ME.
1293
01:15:38,410 --> 01:15:40,010
OH, GO ON. NOT LIKELY.
1294
01:15:46,810 --> 01:15:48,810
NOW, ABOUT YOU.
1295
01:15:48,810 --> 01:15:51,610
DO YOU THINK, UH...
1296
01:15:51,610 --> 01:15:53,610
DO YOU THINK PEPPER
SUSPECTS YOU AT ALL?
1297
01:15:56,410 --> 01:15:56,810
NOT FOR A MINUTE.
1298
01:16:09,810 --> 01:16:11,410
MY PARTNER. MY PARTNER.
1299
01:16:14,010 --> 01:16:16,410
WHERE DOES HE
FIND THE TIME?
1300
01:16:16,610 --> 01:16:19,210
WOMEN ARE EXPECTED TO BE
CHANGEABLE CREATURES.
1301
01:16:19,210 --> 01:16:22,810
SO WHO AM I TO
CHANGE OUR IMAGE?
1302
01:16:24,610 --> 01:16:28,010
WELL, I THINK THAT'S VERY
WISE. AS A RULE...
1303
01:16:28,010 --> 01:16:29,410
BUT IT'S JUST THAT...
1304
01:16:29,610 --> 01:16:31,210
DID I ASK FOR A DRINK?
1305
01:16:32,210 --> 01:16:33,210
NO, BUT I DID.
1306
01:16:38,210 --> 01:16:40,210
YOU DON'T NEED THE MUSIC,
EITHER.
1307
01:16:41,610 --> 01:16:43,010
DON'T NEED THE MUSIC.
1308
01:16:45,610 --> 01:16:46,810
COME HERE.
1309
01:16:53,210 --> 01:16:55,010
TELL ME.
1310
01:16:55,010 --> 01:16:57,410
CAN YOU ONLY DEAL
WITH WOMEN BY NUMBERS?
1311
01:16:59,410 --> 01:17:02,410
WELL, UH, IT'S JUST THAT...
1312
01:17:02,410 --> 01:17:06,410
OH, COME NOW, MR. PEPPER,
WHERE'S THAT CELEBRATED COOL?
1313
01:17:08,210 --> 01:17:10,210
I JUST BLEW IT.
1314
01:17:18,610 --> 01:17:19,810
WELL, SHALL WE TRY IT
AGAIN, THEN?
1315
01:17:23,010 --> 01:17:26,010
OH, NO...
1316
01:17:26,010 --> 01:17:28,810
YOU'VE BEEN BUGGING AGAIN,
CRABBE, DESPITE
MY SPECIFIC ORDERS!
1317
01:17:29,010 --> 01:17:32,010
BUT YOU CANNOT
USE NORMAL METHODS
IN THIS AREA, COMMISSIONER!
1318
01:17:32,010 --> 01:17:34,610
I GET 90 PERCENT OF
MY INFORMATION THIS WAY, SIR.
1319
01:17:34,610 --> 01:17:36,410
IF YOU'LL ALLOW ME, SIR.
1320
01:17:37,410 --> 01:17:40,210
LISTEN.
1321
01:17:40,410 --> 01:17:41,410
HEY, BOSS, I GOT A LITTLE NEWSFLASH FOR YOU.
1322
01:17:41,410 --> 01:17:43,810
WE PLANTED ANOTHER BOMB IN THE POLICE STATION.
1323
01:17:43,810 --> 01:17:45,010
EVACUATE THE--
1324
01:17:45,210 --> 01:17:47,010
NO, DON'T YOU
WORRY, SIR.
1325
01:17:47,210 --> 01:17:48,610
I'M UP TO
THEIR LITTLE TRICKS.
1326
01:17:48,810 --> 01:17:50,210
THEY KNOW THAT
I'M BUGGIN' 'EM.
1327
01:17:50,410 --> 01:17:51,810
THIS IS THEIR IDEA
OF FUN.
1328
01:17:52,010 --> 01:17:52,810
YOU SURE?
1329
01:17:53,010 --> 01:17:55,210
ABSOLUTELY, SIR.
1330
01:17:55,210 --> 01:17:57,210
THERE--THERE ARE NO BOMBS
IN THIS STATION!
1331
01:17:57,210 --> 01:17:58,410
NOW YOU RELAX,
COMMISSIONER, SIR.
1332
01:17:58,410 --> 01:17:59,210
HAVE A CUP OF TEA
WHILE YOU'RE HERE.
WALTERS.
1333
01:17:59,410 --> 01:18:02,410
I CAN DEFINITELY
ASSURE YOU, SIR,
1334
01:18:02,610 --> 01:18:04,610
THERE ARE NO BOMBS
IN THIS STATION.
1335
01:18:04,810 --> 01:18:07,810
OH, YES, COMMISSIONER,
1336
01:18:07,810 --> 01:18:10,410
SALT AND PEPPER
HOAXED US TWICE YESTERDAY,
AS I EXPECT YOU HEARD.
1337
01:18:10,410 --> 01:18:13,610
YOU CAN TAKE IT FROM ME, SIR,
THAT TODAY THERE IS
NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT!
1338
01:18:16,810 --> 01:18:18,210
I WAS ONLY KIDDING!
1339
01:18:36,410 --> 01:18:37,610
PEPPER!
1340
01:18:41,410 --> 01:18:43,410
WHY DID YOU REALLY
COME BY, HMM?
1341
01:18:45,010 --> 01:18:46,010
FOR 2 REASONS.
1342
01:18:55,610 --> 01:18:57,810
THAT'S THE FIRST.
1343
01:19:00,010 --> 01:19:01,410
I LIKE THE FIRST.
1344
01:19:03,810 --> 01:19:05,010
THAT'S A NICE REASON.
1345
01:20:04,210 --> 01:20:06,410
HEY, THERE'S DOVE!
1346
01:20:06,610 --> 01:20:08,610
SO WHAT? WE'RE LEAVING
LONDON, REMEMBER?
1347
01:20:08,810 --> 01:20:11,210
WE'VE GOT TO WARN HIM.
HE'S THE ONLY ONE
LEFT ALIVE ON THAT LIST.
1348
01:20:11,210 --> 01:20:13,210
OH, COME ON,
LET'S GET THE PLANE TICKETS.
1349
01:20:13,210 --> 01:20:16,010
LOOK, THERE'S THE GIRL.
1350
01:20:16,010 --> 01:20:18,210
THE ONE WHO PLANTED
THE BOMB IN YOUR PLACE.
1351
01:20:18,210 --> 01:20:19,210
WELL, DO YOU STILL
WANT TO WARN HIM?
1352
01:20:19,210 --> 01:20:22,010
SHE MAY BE GOING
TO KILL HIM.
1353
01:20:22,010 --> 01:20:23,810
YEAH, MAYBE HE'S
ON THEIR SIDE.
1354
01:20:24,010 --> 01:20:26,010
AND THAT'S WHY HE'S
WALKING AROUND ALIVE.
NOW LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!
1355
01:20:26,210 --> 01:20:28,010
CHARLIE, WE KNOW THE SCORE!
1356
01:20:28,210 --> 01:20:31,210
CHRIS, WE--
WE TRIED TO BLOW THE WHISTLE,
NOBODY LISTENED TO US!
1357
01:20:31,410 --> 01:20:32,810
NOW, WHAT MORE CAN WE DO?
1358
01:20:33,010 --> 01:20:34,410
FOLLOW DOVE AND THE GIRL.NO!
1359
01:20:36,010 --> 01:20:37,810
WE'VE TAKEN ENOUGH CHANCES.
1360
01:20:38,810 --> 01:20:40,610
CHARLIE,
1361
01:20:40,610 --> 01:20:44,210
THIS MAY BE DIFFICULT
FOR YOU TO UNDERSTAND, BUT...
1362
01:20:44,210 --> 01:20:46,010
IT MAY SOUND FUNNY, CORNY,
1363
01:20:46,210 --> 01:20:48,010
BUT ONCE IN A WHILE,
I GET AWFULLY BRITISH.
1364
01:20:50,810 --> 01:20:52,410
THERE ARE A MILLION LIVES
AT STAKE.
1365
01:20:54,610 --> 01:20:55,610
YOU UNDERSTAND?
1366
01:20:59,010 --> 01:21:00,610
IT'S OK. YOU GO AHEAD.
1367
01:21:03,010 --> 01:21:03,810
YEAH.
1368
01:21:30,210 --> 01:21:32,210
HEY!
1369
01:21:38,210 --> 01:21:40,810
GLAD TO SEE YOU.
1370
01:21:40,810 --> 01:21:42,810
GLAD TO SEE YOU, TOO.
1371
01:21:43,010 --> 01:21:46,610
WELL, I DIDN'T WANT TO
GET ON THE PLANE, YOU KNOW.
1372
01:21:46,610 --> 01:21:49,210
I DON'T WANNA BE
THE FIRST ONE IN.
YOU CAN'T EVEN GET A DRINK.
1373
01:21:49,410 --> 01:21:50,810
YEAH,
IT'S VERY DIFFICULT.
1374
01:21:50,810 --> 01:21:51,610
YEAH, IT ALWAYS IS.
COME ON.
1375
01:22:05,810 --> 01:22:08,010
FOLLOW THAT CAR!WHY?
1376
01:22:08,210 --> 01:22:10,010
WHY? BECAUSE THEY'RE
THE BAD GUYS, DUMDUM.
1377
01:22:10,210 --> 01:22:10,410
AND HURRY!
1378
01:22:23,610 --> 01:22:25,210
WILLIAMSPORT MILITARY
TRAINING COLLEGE?
1379
01:22:25,410 --> 01:22:27,210
WHAT'S HE GOING IN THERE FOR?
1380
01:22:27,410 --> 01:22:28,410
MAYBE HE WANTS TO
GET HIS RIFLE CLEANED.
1381
01:22:28,610 --> 01:22:30,210
WHAT?
1382
01:22:52,210 --> 01:22:53,210
MMM?
1383
01:22:55,810 --> 01:22:58,210
HELLO.
1384
01:22:58,210 --> 01:23:01,410
WHAT'S UP, LADS?
WHAT ARE YOU
DOING UP THERE, THEN?
1385
01:23:01,610 --> 01:23:03,210
I, UH...
1386
01:23:03,210 --> 01:23:04,410
I--I--I WAS JUST SHOWING
MY AMERICAN FRIEND
1387
01:23:04,410 --> 01:23:07,810
SOME OF THE MORE
BEAUTIFUL ENGLISH SIGHTS.
1388
01:23:08,010 --> 01:23:11,010
IN THAT CASE,
I SUGGEST PICCADILLY CIRCUS.
1389
01:23:11,210 --> 01:23:12,610
THIS IS GOVERNMENT PROPERTY.
1390
01:23:12,610 --> 01:23:15,410
RIGHT YOU ARE,
CONSTABLE.
1391
01:23:15,610 --> 01:23:17,610
RIGHT YOU ARE, SIR.
ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
1392
01:23:25,810 --> 01:23:28,210
AH, DOVE. AND HOW IS OUR
NEW MINISTER OF EDUCATION?
1393
01:23:28,210 --> 01:23:29,410
WELL, THANK YOU,
PRIME MINISTER.
1394
01:23:29,610 --> 01:23:31,610
SPLENDID. MAKE YOURSELF
COMFORTABLE.
1395
01:23:31,810 --> 01:23:34,210
THERE'S TEA AND SOME
RATHER NASTY SANDWICHES
OVER THERE.
1396
01:23:34,210 --> 01:23:35,410
OH, THANK YOU.
I DON'T MIND IF I DO.
1397
01:23:51,410 --> 01:23:54,210
I THINK BALSOM WOULD BE
VERY INTERESTED IN THIS.
1398
01:23:54,410 --> 01:23:55,210
YES.
1399
01:24:01,810 --> 01:24:03,610
INCREDIBLE, INEXCUSABLE
INEFFICIENCY!
1400
01:24:03,810 --> 01:24:05,410
THEY KNOW NOTHING,
PRIME MINISTER.
1401
01:24:05,410 --> 01:24:08,010
THEY'RE JUST 2 FRIGHTENED MEN
WHO'VE GONE INTO HIDING.
1402
01:24:08,210 --> 01:24:09,810
YOU'D BETTER BE RIGHT,
WOODSTOCK.
1403
01:24:14,810 --> 01:24:17,210
AND NOW YOUR AFTERNOON NEWS.
1404
01:24:17,410 --> 01:24:20,810
THE ATOMIC SUBMARINE HERCULES
DOCKED AT HOLY LOCH
THIS MORNING.
1405
01:24:20,810 --> 01:24:23,410
THE SUBMARINE, WHICH IS
THE FIRST TO BE EQUIPPED
1406
01:24:23,610 --> 01:24:24,410
WITH BRITAIN'S NEW
LONG-RANGE ATOMIC MISSILES...
1407
01:24:24,610 --> 01:24:27,010
THAT'S IT!WHAT'S IT? WHAT?
1408
01:24:27,210 --> 01:24:28,610
THAT'S WHAT MAI LING SAID.
1409
01:24:28,810 --> 01:24:31,010
SHE DIDN'T SAY "HOLLYHOCK,"
SHE SAID "HOLY LOCH."
1410
01:24:31,210 --> 01:24:32,210
WHAT WAS THAT DATE?
1411
01:24:32,410 --> 01:24:33,010
UH, JUNE 3.
1412
01:24:33,010 --> 01:24:36,010
HOLY LOCH, JUNE 3.
1413
01:24:36,210 --> 01:24:38,810
THE POLARIS DOCKS,
THEN THEY HIJACK HER.
1414
01:24:39,010 --> 01:24:41,810
BALSOM! I'M GONNA USE
THAT PHONE DOWN THE ROAD.
1415
01:24:42,010 --> 01:24:43,410
SEE IF YOU CAN HEAR ANY MORE.ALL RIGHT.
1416
01:24:43,610 --> 01:24:45,610
...A WARRANT HAS BEEN
ISSUED FOR THE ARREST
1417
01:24:45,810 --> 01:24:47,610
OF CHRISTOPHER PEPPER
AND CHARLES SALT.
1418
01:24:47,810 --> 01:24:50,810
SALT, THE ENTERTAINER,
IS BELIEVED TO BE
OF AFRICAN DESCENT.
1419
01:24:50,810 --> 01:24:54,410
THE CHARGES RELATE TO
UNAUTHORIZED POSSESSION
1420
01:24:54,410 --> 01:24:57,210
AND USE
OF HIGH EXPLOSIVES.
1421
01:24:57,210 --> 01:24:57,810
SCOTLAND YARD
IS NOW CONDUCTING
EXTENSIVE INQUIRIES...
1422
01:24:57,810 --> 01:25:00,610
GET OUT!
1423
01:25:00,810 --> 01:25:02,210
SORRY,
JUST PASSING THROUGH.
1424
01:25:02,210 --> 01:25:02,610
MARVELOUS CAR,
MARVELOUS!
1425
01:25:13,810 --> 01:25:15,610
WELL?I CAN'T GET HIM.
I'LL CALL THE POLICE.
1426
01:25:15,810 --> 01:25:16,810
NO, NO, NO DON'T YOU DO THAT.
COME OUT HERE.
1427
01:25:17,010 --> 01:25:19,810
THEY'VE GOT
A WARRANT FOR OUR ARREST OUT.
1428
01:25:20,010 --> 01:25:20,810
WHY?ON ACCOUNT OF THE BOMB.
1429
01:25:20,810 --> 01:25:24,010
I HEARD IT ON
THE RADIO JUST NOW.
1430
01:25:24,010 --> 01:25:27,210
WELL, IN THAT CASE,
CHARLIE BOY,
WE ARE ON OUR OWN.
1431
01:25:27,410 --> 01:25:28,610
ON OUR OWN? YOU MEAN,
1432
01:25:28,610 --> 01:25:31,010
YOU AND ME AGAINST
ALL OF THEM GUYS?
1433
01:25:33,610 --> 01:25:34,410
YOU'RE LOOKING AT
A VERY UNHAPPY AFRICAN.
1434
01:25:34,410 --> 01:25:36,610
WHAT? OH, NEVER MIND.
1435
01:25:36,810 --> 01:25:41,810
THE MOTHER AND ALL 4 BABIES ARE DOING WELL.
1436
01:25:41,810 --> 01:25:45,610
AND ON THAT CHEERFUL NOTE, WE END THIS NEWS.
1437
01:25:45,810 --> 01:25:46,010
NOW PLEASE TUNE IN FOR OUR NEXT NEWS AT 9:00.
1438
01:25:48,810 --> 01:25:50,210
PEOPLE OF GREAT BRITAIN,
1439
01:25:50,410 --> 01:25:53,610
HERE IS AN ANNOUNCEMENT OF THE GREATEST IMPORTANCE.
1440
01:25:53,810 --> 01:25:56,610
YOU ARE ASKED TO TUNE IN
TO THE UNUSED
CHANNEL 14 AT 7:00 TONIGHT,
1441
01:25:56,610 --> 01:26:00,610
WHEN THE PRIME MINISTER
WILL ADDRESS THE NATION.
1442
01:26:00,610 --> 01:26:02,610
I'M NOT SPEAKING
AT 7:00 TONIGHT, AM I?
1443
01:26:02,810 --> 01:26:05,210
N-N-NO, PRIME MINISTER.
1444
01:26:18,010 --> 01:26:19,010
RELIEF CREW HAS
REPORTED ABOARD, SIR.
1445
01:26:19,210 --> 01:26:21,010
WHAT RELIEF CREW?
1446
01:26:21,010 --> 01:26:23,210
SIR, THE CREW
WHICH IS JUST COMING DOWN.
1447
01:26:23,410 --> 01:26:25,610
DO AS YOU'RE TOLD
AND NOBODY WILL GET HURT.
1448
01:26:25,810 --> 01:26:28,610
I SAID DO AS YOU'RE TOLD
AND NOBODY WILL GET HURT.
1449
01:26:28,610 --> 01:26:29,610
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
1450
01:26:29,810 --> 01:26:32,410
UH...
1451
01:26:32,610 --> 01:26:34,410
WE'RE ONE OF THEM.
WE'RE GOING INSIDE.
1452
01:26:34,610 --> 01:26:36,010
WHO?
1453
01:26:36,210 --> 01:26:36,810
ONE OF THE-- ONE OF THE GUYS
OF THE SUBMARINE.
1454
01:26:37,010 --> 01:26:38,810
YOU KNOW, ONE OF YOU.
1455
01:26:39,010 --> 01:26:40,410
THE BOMB.
1456
01:26:40,610 --> 01:26:42,810
SHOW ME
YOUR NUMBERED PASS.
1457
01:26:43,010 --> 01:26:44,810
OH, JUST FORGOT IT,
DID WE?
1458
01:26:45,010 --> 01:26:46,210
I TELL YOU,
I USUALLY HAVE IT IN MY...
1459
01:26:48,210 --> 01:26:48,610
YOU GET BETTER
ALL THE TIME!
1460
01:26:48,610 --> 01:26:50,410
MY PLEASURE!
1461
01:26:50,410 --> 01:26:51,410
WILL YOU WATCH IT?
1462
01:26:59,210 --> 01:27:00,610
COME ON, LEAVE IT.
1463
01:27:01,810 --> 01:27:02,610
TAKE HIM OFF THE LEASH.
COME ON.
1464
01:27:28,410 --> 01:27:29,210
THE FIRST RESULTS SHOW
1465
01:27:29,210 --> 01:27:32,210
THAT THE WHOLE NATION
IS PRIMED.
1466
01:27:32,410 --> 01:27:34,410
DESPITE OFFICIAL DENIALS,
MILLIONS WILL BE
TUNED IN TO WATCH YOU.
1467
01:27:34,410 --> 01:27:36,010
SPLENDID.
1468
01:27:38,610 --> 01:27:41,210
CORPORAL!
1469
01:27:41,410 --> 01:27:43,410
PRIME MINISTER,
I FORGOT TO TELL YOU.
1470
01:27:43,610 --> 01:27:45,210
THE LEVER TO
SIGNAL THE HERCULES
TO LAUNCH THE MISSILE
1471
01:27:45,410 --> 01:27:47,210
WILL BE NEXT TO
YOU IN THE T.V. BOOTH.UNDERSTOOD.
1472
01:27:47,210 --> 01:27:49,010
AS SOON AS
THE OUTGOING
PRIME MINISTER
1473
01:27:49,210 --> 01:27:52,010
HAS ANNOUNCED THE
GOVERNMENT'S RESIGNATION,
1474
01:27:52,210 --> 01:27:54,010
YOU'LL BE JOINED HERE
BY YOUR PERSONAL GUARD
1475
01:27:54,210 --> 01:27:56,210
AND MAY THEN PROCEED TO
NUMBER 10 DOWNING STREET.
1476
01:27:56,410 --> 01:27:57,410
THE END OF A LONG DREAM,
EH, WOODSTOCK?YES, SIR.
1477
01:27:57,610 --> 01:28:00,610
WELL, LET'S GET ON WITH IT.RIGHT, SIR.
1478
01:28:05,010 --> 01:28:07,610
A MISSILE!
THOSE GUYS MUST BE
NUTTY AS FRUITCAKES!
1479
01:28:07,610 --> 01:28:08,210
RIGHT.
1480
01:28:08,210 --> 01:28:09,810
LEFT!SHOOT!
1481
01:28:14,610 --> 01:28:14,810
SALT!WHAT?
1482
01:28:17,010 --> 01:28:17,810
MY PLEASURE!
1483
01:28:22,210 --> 01:28:23,410
HOLD IT!
1484
01:28:24,610 --> 01:28:26,610
HOLD IT!
1485
01:28:26,810 --> 01:28:28,410
DON'T USE THAT GUN.
1486
01:28:28,610 --> 01:28:30,810
I WANT THEM ALIVE.
AND FIND OUT HOW
THEY GOT IN HERE.
1487
01:28:31,010 --> 01:28:32,010
RIGHT, SIR.
1488
01:28:32,010 --> 01:28:34,010
THERE'S GOT TO BE
A WAY THOUGH, CHRIS.
1489
01:28:34,210 --> 01:28:37,010
WE'RE STILL ALIVE,
AREN'T WE?
1490
01:28:37,010 --> 01:28:39,010
I DON'T KNOW WHY.
1491
01:28:39,210 --> 01:28:40,210
HEY!WHAT?
1492
01:28:41,810 --> 01:28:43,410
WHY THE TELEVISION?
1493
01:28:47,010 --> 01:28:48,810
PRIME MINISTER,
2 MINUTES TO TELECAST, SIR.
1494
01:28:49,010 --> 01:28:50,810
RIGHT.
1495
01:28:51,010 --> 01:28:54,010
EXCELLENT! BUT I STILL THINK
WE SHOULD PUT MORE EMPHASIS
1496
01:28:54,010 --> 01:28:54,810
ON OUR DOING IT
FOR THE PEOPLE.
1497
01:28:55,010 --> 01:28:57,810
OUR LOVE OF THEM.
1498
01:28:58,010 --> 01:29:00,010
I DON'T KNOW WHY WE NEED
ALL THIS SENTIMENTAL STUFF.
1499
01:29:00,010 --> 01:29:01,410
OH, IT'S EASY TO
SEIZE POWER, BOB,
1500
01:29:01,610 --> 01:29:05,210
BUT IT'S EASIER TO HANG ON
TO IT IF THEY'RE HAPPY.
1501
01:29:05,210 --> 01:29:07,010
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT,
I'LL DO AS YOU SUGGEST.
1502
01:29:07,210 --> 01:29:08,410
WELL, GOOD LUCK.THANK YOU.
1503
01:29:08,610 --> 01:29:11,010
EITHER NOTHING
WILL HAPPEN AT ALL
1504
01:29:11,010 --> 01:29:12,810
OR IT'S JUST SOME
CRAZY ADVERTISING STUNT.
1505
01:29:12,810 --> 01:29:15,810
IF IT IS,
THE ADVERTISERS CAN EXPECT
A VERY NASTY BUDGET.
1506
01:29:17,810 --> 01:29:19,410
AH, THANK YOU, THOMAS.
1507
01:29:19,610 --> 01:29:20,810
THE TOP SWITCH, SIR.
1508
01:29:23,210 --> 01:29:25,210
NOW WE'VE GOT THE FUSE,
THE DUST.
1509
01:29:25,410 --> 01:29:28,010
NOW WE GRIND
THE HEADS OF THE MATCHES
INTO A FINE POWDER,
1510
01:29:28,010 --> 01:29:29,810
WE MIX WITH THE DUST,
PUT THE FUSE IN,
1511
01:29:29,810 --> 01:29:31,410
COMPRESS IT ALL
VERY TIGHTLY--
1512
01:29:31,610 --> 01:29:34,010
WHAT ARE YOU RAVING ABOUT?
1513
01:29:34,010 --> 01:29:36,210
THE SMALLEST BOMB
IN THE WORLD!
1514
01:29:36,210 --> 01:29:38,210
WE CAN BLOW THAT
DOOR LOCK OFF LIKE THAT!
1515
01:29:38,610 --> 01:29:40,210
AH, IT'S NEARLY 7:00.
1516
01:29:45,210 --> 01:29:46,410
DO YOU KNOW SOMETHING,
CHARLIE?
1517
01:29:46,610 --> 01:29:47,410
WHAT?
1518
01:29:47,410 --> 01:29:50,810
THIS JUST MIGHT WORK.
1519
01:29:50,810 --> 01:29:53,010
STAND BY, SIR, THE TELECAST
IS ABOUT TO BEGIN.
1520
01:29:53,010 --> 01:29:55,010
YOU'RE ON NOW, SIR.
1521
01:29:55,010 --> 01:29:58,010
PEOPLE OF GREAT BRITAIN,
THIS IS YOUR PRIME MINISTER
SPEAKING.
1522
01:29:58,010 --> 01:29:59,610
IT'S BOB WEEDINGHAM!
1523
01:29:59,610 --> 01:30:01,010
I CLAIM TO BE
YOUR PRIME MINISTER
1524
01:30:01,010 --> 01:30:04,410
BECAUSE I AND MY
NEW CABINET COLLEAGUES
1525
01:30:04,610 --> 01:30:06,410
WILL SHORTLY BE
TAKING THE REINS
1526
01:30:06,610 --> 01:30:08,410
OF GOVERNMENT FROM
THE HANDS OF THOSE
1527
01:30:08,610 --> 01:30:10,410
WHO ARE LEADING
THIS BELOVED NATION OF OURS
1528
01:30:10,410 --> 01:30:14,010
TO A NEW WAR
AND INEVITABLE
NUCLEAR ANNIHILATION.
1529
01:30:14,010 --> 01:30:16,410
HAS HE GONE MAD?
1530
01:30:16,410 --> 01:30:19,410
I MUST TELL YOU FRANKLY THAT,
IN ORDER TO SAVE OUR COUNTRY,
1531
01:30:19,410 --> 01:30:23,010
WE ARE FORCED TO
RESORT TO EXTREME MEASURES.
1532
01:30:23,210 --> 01:30:25,210
A SPECIALLY TRAINED CREW OF OUR SUPPORTERS
1533
01:30:25,210 --> 01:30:28,810
HAS THEREFORE SEIZED THE ROYAL NAVY POLARIS SUBMARINEHERCULES.
1534
01:30:32,610 --> 01:30:34,610
DAMN IT, THOSE IDIOTS
DID KNOW SOMETHING!
1535
01:30:36,610 --> 01:30:40,410
I AM GIVING
THE INCUMBENT PRIME MINISTER
EXACTLY 30 MINUTES
1536
01:30:40,410 --> 01:30:44,810
IN WHICH TO PUBLICLY
TENDER HIS RESIGNATION.
1537
01:30:45,010 --> 01:30:48,410
FAILING THIS,
WITH THE DEEPEST REGRET,
1538
01:30:48,610 --> 01:30:51,410
I SHALL PULL THIS LEVER
WHICH YOU NOW SEE.
1539
01:30:54,010 --> 01:30:58,810
THIS IS A SIGNAL,
WHICH WILL ORDER THEHERCULES
1540
01:30:59,010 --> 01:31:01,210
TO DESTROY WITH
A NUCLEAR MISSILE
1541
01:31:01,410 --> 01:31:02,210
ONE LARGE
CENTER OF POPULATION
1542
01:31:02,410 --> 01:31:05,810
SOMEWHERE IN
THE BRITISH ISLES.
1543
01:31:06,010 --> 01:31:08,610
A TRULY DREADFUL THREAT.
1544
01:31:08,610 --> 01:31:12,210
BUT BETTER A MILLION DEAD NOW
THAN OUR WHOLE NATION
EVENTUALLY DESTROYED.
1545
01:31:15,210 --> 01:31:18,810
LEST ANYONE THINK
THAT THIS IS SOME IDLE BLUFF,
1546
01:31:19,010 --> 01:31:19,810
I AM NOW
SIGNALING THE SUBMARINE
1547
01:31:22,410 --> 01:31:24,610
TO FIRE AN ATOMIC MISSILE
1548
01:31:24,810 --> 01:31:29,410
AT THE UNINHABITED
ISLAND OF MACCRAW
IN THE OUTER HEBRIDES.
1549
01:31:29,610 --> 01:31:31,610
HURRY UP, WILL YOU?YEAH.
1550
01:31:31,810 --> 01:31:35,210
NOW LET'S GET THESE MATCHES
AND LIGHT THE FUSE.
1551
01:31:40,010 --> 01:31:42,010
COME ON, GIVE ME ONE OF
THE GOOD MATCHES, WILL YOU?
1552
01:31:42,210 --> 01:31:43,610
WHAT? YEAH.ONE OF THE GOOD MATCHES.
1553
01:31:46,810 --> 01:31:47,810
UM, CHARLIE.
1554
01:31:47,810 --> 01:31:49,210
YEAH?
1555
01:31:49,410 --> 01:31:51,010
I GROUND THEM ALL
UP FOR THE BOMB.
1556
01:31:51,210 --> 01:31:52,010
THAT'S GOOD,
GIVE ME ONE OF THE--
1557
01:31:52,210 --> 01:31:54,010
YOU GROUND THEM
ALL UP FOR THE BOMB?
1558
01:31:54,010 --> 01:31:54,410
WE AIN'T GOT ONE LEFT?WE DON'T.
1559
01:31:54,610 --> 01:31:57,410
NOTHING IN THE BOX?
1560
01:31:57,610 --> 01:31:59,010
YOU TOLD ME
TO GRIND THEM UP.I KNOW, I KNOW.
1561
01:31:59,210 --> 01:32:01,410
OH...
1562
01:32:01,610 --> 01:32:03,810
I CAN'T GET OVER IT!
THE ONE--
1563
01:32:04,010 --> 01:32:05,410
NOW THAT'S
WHAT I CALL KARATE!
1564
01:33:07,210 --> 01:33:08,210
HEY, OVER HERE.
1565
01:33:18,810 --> 01:33:20,610
THANK YOU.
1566
01:33:22,810 --> 01:33:24,010
NOT ME, YOU DUMMY!
1567
01:33:28,610 --> 01:33:29,010
CHARLIE!
1568
01:33:45,210 --> 01:33:49,610
AHA, YOU DARE TO CHALLENGE
THE MARQUIS DE VAIN? AHA!
1569
01:33:49,810 --> 01:33:54,810
"BEAT, PASS,
SEND YOU ASLANT, ASPRAWL
THEN AS I END THE REFRAIN"...
1570
01:33:54,810 --> 01:33:58,010
AHA, WATCH THIS ONE, BABY!
HERE IT COMES! "THRUST HOME!"
1571
01:34:03,810 --> 01:34:04,610
YUCK!
1572
01:34:04,810 --> 01:34:06,810
PEPPER!
1573
01:34:07,810 --> 01:34:08,610
PEPPER!
1574
01:34:10,010 --> 01:34:12,810
PEPPER! WHERE ARE YOU?
1575
01:34:14,210 --> 01:34:16,810
PEPPER!
1576
01:34:17,010 --> 01:34:18,610
OVER HERE!
1577
01:34:18,610 --> 01:34:21,810
WHAT ARE YOU
DOING IN THAT TOWER?
1578
01:34:21,810 --> 01:34:24,410
I SAW THIS MOVIE ONCE,
WHERE 2 GUYS WERE--
1579
01:34:28,210 --> 01:34:31,210
WE WILL BRING YOU
PEACE AND PROSPERITY
SUCH AS YOU HAVE NEVER KNOWN,
1580
01:34:31,210 --> 01:34:31,610
A GUARANTEED FUTURE
FOR YOUR CHILDREN.
1581
01:34:40,410 --> 01:34:41,610
WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?
1582
01:34:41,810 --> 01:34:42,210
I TOLD YOU NOT TO
WANDER AWAY. YOU OK?
1583
01:34:42,410 --> 01:34:43,210
YEAH.LET'S GET OUT.
1584
01:34:43,410 --> 01:34:45,410
GOOD.
1585
01:34:45,610 --> 01:34:47,810
I'M SURE THAT WHEN YOU,
MY PEOPLE,
LEARN OF OUR INTENTIONS,
1586
01:34:48,010 --> 01:34:50,210
YOU WILL WELCOME US
WITH OPEN ARMS.
1587
01:34:55,610 --> 01:34:57,010
STRIKE!
1588
01:34:57,210 --> 01:34:58,610
ALL RIGHT, I'LL BE DOWN.
1589
01:35:01,210 --> 01:35:02,810
WHERE? YOUR RIGHT!
1590
01:35:13,810 --> 01:35:17,210
SERGEANT! SIR.
1591
01:35:24,810 --> 01:35:25,210
ALL RIGHT,
USE YOUR WEAPONS.
1592
01:35:25,410 --> 01:35:27,610
BUT DON'T SHOOT TO KILL.
1593
01:35:27,810 --> 01:35:29,010
I STILL WANT THEM ALIVE.
ALL RIGHT?
1594
01:35:33,610 --> 01:35:34,610
PEPPER!
1595
01:35:35,610 --> 01:35:36,810
PEPPER!
1596
01:35:50,610 --> 01:35:54,010
GONE WILL BE ALL TALK
AND THREATS OF WAR.
1597
01:35:54,010 --> 01:35:56,610
WE SHALL RETURN TO A SECURE
AND PEACEFUL WAY OF LIFE.
1598
01:35:59,610 --> 01:36:00,610
SALT!
1599
01:36:25,610 --> 01:36:27,410
I-I'M SURE THAT, UH, WE CAN
RELY ON YOUR SUPPORT.
1600
01:36:32,410 --> 01:36:34,410
1, 2, 3!
1601
01:36:35,210 --> 01:36:37,010
AND AT THAT TIME, I--
1602
01:36:37,210 --> 01:36:38,210
STOP!
1603
01:36:43,010 --> 01:36:44,210
D'YOU EVER HEAR
OF BIG BERTHA?
1604
01:36:44,410 --> 01:36:45,210
YEAH!
1605
01:36:45,210 --> 01:36:47,010
WELL, THIS IS
A LONG SHOT.
1606
01:36:47,810 --> 01:36:50,210
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?
1607
01:36:50,410 --> 01:36:51,410
IT'S OUR ONLY HOPE.
1608
01:36:52,810 --> 01:36:53,610
COME ON, BABY!
1609
01:37:03,010 --> 01:37:04,410
FOR GOD'S SAKE,
PULL THAT LEVER AND
RELEASE THE MISSILE.
1610
01:37:04,410 --> 01:37:07,010
WAIT, I'VE GIVEN
MY WORD.
1611
01:37:07,010 --> 01:37:09,010
IF YOU DON'T DO IT NOW,
YOU IDIOT, THEN I WILL.
1612
01:37:11,410 --> 01:37:13,610
HOW DARE YOU
THREATEN THE PRIME MINISTER?
1613
01:37:42,210 --> 01:37:45,410
ALL RIGHT,
THANK YOU VERY MUCH
FOR A GREAT WELCOME!
1614
01:37:45,610 --> 01:37:48,210
ALL I CAN SAY IS THAT
IT'S GREAT TO BE BACK HOME!
1615
01:37:48,410 --> 01:37:49,010
3 CHEERS FOR SIR CHRISTOPHER
AND SIR CHARLES!
1616
01:37:49,010 --> 01:37:50,210
HIP HIP...
1617
01:37:50,410 --> 01:37:51,410
HURRAH!
1618
01:37:51,410 --> 01:37:53,210
HIP HIP...
1619
01:37:53,210 --> 01:37:54,410
HURRAH!
1620
01:37:54,410 --> 01:37:56,410
HIP HIP...
1621
01:37:56,410 --> 01:37:57,410
ALL RIGHT, SEE YOU TONIGHT!SEE YOU TONIGHT!
1622
01:37:57,610 --> 01:37:58,410
BYE!
1623
01:38:00,810 --> 01:38:03,810
SEE YOU LATER.
1624
01:38:03,810 --> 01:38:04,610
HERE, THESE ARE FOR YOU.
1625
01:38:13,210 --> 01:38:15,610
WELL, SIR CHARLES,
HOW DOES IT FEEL?
1626
01:38:15,610 --> 01:38:18,810
WELL, SIR CHRISTOPHER,
IT FEELS
ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL!
1627
01:38:19,410 --> 01:38:20,810
DOESN'T IT, THOUGH?
1628
01:38:20,810 --> 01:38:23,610
I TELL YOU,
I CAN'T GET OVER IT!
1629
01:38:23,610 --> 01:38:25,010
HEY, THAT WAS A NICE
THING YOU DID FOR CRABBE.
1630
01:38:25,010 --> 01:38:26,810
WHAT'S A NEW
JAGUAR AMONG FRIENDS?
1631
01:38:27,010 --> 01:38:28,210
AND HE PROMISES TO
BE OUR FRIEND NOW.
1632
01:38:28,410 --> 01:38:30,810
I CAN'T GET OVER IT.
YOU AND ME AT THE PALACE.
1633
01:38:31,010 --> 01:38:31,810
SOMETHING, WASN'T IT?
1634
01:38:32,010 --> 01:38:33,610
THEY WERE SO NICE TO US.
1635
01:38:33,810 --> 01:38:35,410
OH, THEY'RE SUCH NICE PEOPLE.
NATURAL, CHARMING.
1636
01:38:35,610 --> 01:38:37,610
AND HE'S MUCH TALLER
THAN I EVER IMAGINED.
1637
01:38:37,810 --> 01:38:39,410
NO TALLER THAN YOU TODAY.
1638
01:38:39,610 --> 01:38:41,010
THANKS, CHRIS.
1639
01:38:41,210 --> 01:38:43,010
AND HE WAS INTERESTED
IN ALL THE THINGS WE DID!
1640
01:38:43,210 --> 01:38:44,210
DID YOU SEE HIM?
COMPACT TIME BOMB!
1641
01:38:44,210 --> 01:38:46,010
I THOUGHT
HE WAS GONNA
TAKE IT APART!
1642
01:38:46,210 --> 01:38:46,610
I'VE NEVER SEEN...
1643
01:38:46,610 --> 01:38:48,610
WHAT IS IT?
1644
01:38:48,810 --> 01:38:49,810
WAIT A MINUTE.
1645
01:38:50,010 --> 01:38:52,810
HOW DID THAT
GET IN MY POCKET?
1646
01:38:52,810 --> 01:38:55,010
I HAVEN'T SEEN THAT
SINCE THE CHINESE--IT'S TICKING!
1647
01:38:55,210 --> 01:38:57,010
OH, CHARLIE,
WILL YOU STOP--IT'S TICKING!
1648
01:38:57,210 --> 01:38:58,810
OH, DON'T BE SILLY.
YOU DON'T...
1649
01:38:59,010 --> 01:39:00,410
IT IS TICKING!
1650
01:39:01,410 --> 01:39:04,010
OVER HERE, MAN
COME ON, HURRY UP!
1651
01:39:04,210 --> 01:39:05,210
CLEAR THE STREET!OVER HERE!
1652
01:39:05,410 --> 01:39:06,210
THE DRAIN!
1653
01:39:17,610 --> 01:39:18,410
OH, NO!
1654
01:39:19,410 --> 01:39:22,810
ONE MOMENT PLEASE,
GENTLEMEN, SIR CHARLES.
1655
01:39:23,010 --> 01:39:24,810
MOVE YOUR CAR!
1656
01:39:25,010 --> 01:39:27,210
NO, IT'S QUITE ALL RIGHT,
GENTLEMEN.
I'M ALLOWED TO PARK HERE NOW.
1657
01:39:27,410 --> 01:39:29,210
HE WON'T LISTEN.
1658
01:39:29,410 --> 01:39:31,210
BUT I'D LIKE TO THANK YOU.
SHE'S A BEAUTY!
1659
01:39:45,010 --> 01:39:48,210
HERE HE COMES!
1660
01:40:03,210 --> 01:40:06,610
YOU AND I
ARE SALT AND PEPPER
1661
01:40:06,610 --> 01:40:09,810
YOU AND I
ARE EGGS AND BACON
1662
01:40:10,010 --> 01:40:12,010
AND UNLESS
I'M MUCH MISTAKEN
1663
01:40:12,210 --> 01:40:14,610
WE'RE COFFEE AND CREAM
1664
01:40:15,610 --> 01:40:18,410
WE WOULD SEEM
TO BE SKY AND SUNSHINE
1665
01:40:18,610 --> 01:40:22,810
WE NEED BOTH TO MAKE EITHER ONE SHINE
1666
01:40:23,010 --> 01:40:26,210
YOU CAN'T NAME
A FAMOUS DUO
1667
01:40:26,410 --> 01:40:29,610
TO COMPARE
WITH ME AND YOU-O
1668
01:40:29,810 --> 01:40:32,210
YOU AND I
ARE GREAT TOGETHER
1669
01:40:32,410 --> 01:40:36,010
SO WE FACE
OUR FATE TOGETHER
1670
01:40:36,210 --> 01:40:38,210
SO IN TUNE
THEY'LL WONDER
1671
01:40:38,210 --> 01:40:42,010
WHETHER WE'RE
ROGERS AND HART
1672
01:40:42,010 --> 01:40:44,810
IF WE PART,
THERE WILL BE NO SHOW, SIR
1673
01:40:45,010 --> 01:40:49,810
BUT TOGETHER
THERE ARE NO TWO CLOSER,
NO, SIR
1674
01:40:50,010 --> 01:40:54,010
WE BLEND LIKE CHOCOLATE AND MALT
1675
01:40:54,210 --> 01:40:57,010
SALT AND PEPPER
1676
01:40:57,210 --> 01:41:00,210
YEAH, PEPPER AND SALT
1677
01:41:00,410 --> 01:41:01,210
YOU KNOW THE NEXT TIME, I'M GONNA GET THE GIRL
1678
01:41:01,210 --> 01:41:03,010
THAT'S DEFINITE
111648
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