All language subtitles for New.Amsterdam.2018.S05E02.720p.WEB.h264-GOSSIP-HI

Okay.

Hi.
I'm Ignatius.

Nope.
It's pretentious.

I, uh...

Hey, my friends call me Iggs.

No, they don't.
Dr. Igg... Dr. Iggs.

[chuckles and groans]

Okay.
Hey, I'm Ignatius.

Dr. Iggs.
I'm Iggy.

And would you please kill me?

Uh, hi, my name is Iggy,

and I am in hell.

Oh, my God, stop,
stop, stop, stop.

Just... hey, hi.

Hey.

Hey, you know what I am?

I'm a psychiatrist.

[upbeat jazz music]

I'm a psychiatrist.

I'm a psychiatrist.

♪

Oh.
Hey, there.

♪

[items clattering]

Some might call me
a textbook Scorpio.

Watch out.

I would say a sense of humor
is the most important thing.

Communication
is the most important thing.

Patience is the most
important thing?

♪

No.

Hi, my name is Iggy,

I am going through a divorce,
I have four amazing children,

and I'm on this app because...

Well, because who wants
to go through this awful,

confusing, joyous world alone?

[sighs]

[soft dramatic music]

♪

Yeah.

♪

All right.

♪

[phone chimes]

[chuckles softly]

♪

[bell rings]

Good morning.

- [mouthing words]
- Morning.

[upbeat jazz music]

♪

[mouthing words]

♪

[bell rings]

Yeah, oh, yeah, I'll... bye.

[bell rings]

- I mean, I just...
- Tell me honestly.

Am I too old to date on an app?

I'm not worried about
you meeting somebody.

I am worried about you

marrying the first guy
you date, all right?

So let's cross that bridge
when we get there.

All right, don't... don't
let me do that, by the way.

Well, listen.

It's just like my mom always
said when I was with Edie.

There are plenty
of fish in the... sea.

That was weird.

Iggy, this is my father, Horace.

- Oh.
- Dad, this is Iggy.

- Yeah, hi.
- Nice to meet you, finally.

I'm Iggy.
Pleasure.

- All right, then.
- Come on, we're going fishing.

- Today?
- Wait. Now?

The bass will be
sleeping by noon.

- [chuckling] I... I can't.
- I'm at work.

I'm working.

I'm supervising a resident's
fem-pop bypass this morning.

There's got to be other
doctors in this hospital.

That is true.

I'm sorry, Dad, this is
not how I run my department.

This is not about how
you run your department.

It's about how
you run your life.

- I can't.
- I'm sorry.

Well, suit yourself.

But don't tell me I didn't try.

- What are you doing?
- You wanted this, right?

- No, not like that.
- Not out of the blue.

You can't control
how love comes into your life.

All right?
That's good advice for me, too.

[soft dramatic music]

[sighs] Okay.

Hey, Pop, wait up.
Hey.

[soft upbeat music]

- Whoo-hoo.
- That's what I'm talking about.

♪

- Hey, good morning.
- New haircut?

Look, I know Casey
is out of town,

so you need someone
to gossip with,

but may I suggest,
quite literally,

anyone else
in our entire department?

Ooh, speaking of our department,

Layla's visa finally
got approved,

which means, drum roll please.

No.

She's finally moving
out of my apartment

and into her own place.

You know, maybe you can
call Casey, Face Time him?

I don't know.

All that's left to do now

is to pick up my clothes
from storage,

which I am dreading,
but I need them, you know?

I've been living in the same
eight outfits for months

and my undies are
practically translucent.

Why did you wait till
things were see-through?

I mean,
most storage places let you

get things whenever you want.

Yeah, well, it's not
that kind of storage.

Brunstetter, a word?

What are you doing?

She can't afford her
blood pressure meds,

and it's only 40 bucks, so...

Okay, we don't pay
patients out of pocket.

I know.

Even in situations like this.

For every Esther, there are
a dozen more just like her.

I know, it's just...

It's hard not to do
something when I can.

[indistinct chatter]

You can pick up your
prescription at a pharmacy.

Thank you.

You really didn't need
to do this.

- It's okay.
- It's not a problem at all.

[funky upbeat music]

Oh, hang on.
Just a little problem here.

Sorry, guys, I'm just
a little short on cash.

Oh, Max, Max.
Do you mind spotting me?

Oh, sure.

Happy to help.

- [whispers]
- Sorry. Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

- Let me guess.
- Budget meeting?

Oh, this is my new and
improved cost savings plan.

Worked all week on this bad boy.

All right, how much
are you going to save?

$432.

Ooh, that's going
to be good meeting.

Well hey, you just had
to borrow 5 bucks from me.

You're not one to talk.

All right, do you know what?

You had to spot me because

my patient couldn't afford
her blood pressure meds,

and since it took
just 40 bucks to save her life,

- that is what I did.
- Hmm.

And we see patients like
her every single day, Max,

stuck in the
Medicare donut hole,

unable to afford their meds.

I mean, some of them can't
even afford a daily meal.

I mean, if they had just
a little extra cash,

they wouldn't keep
ending up in the ED.

[soft energetic music]

♪

All right, well, that was not
the reaction I was expecting.

But that is a great
savings plan, Lauren.

Oh, no.

♪

This is Canaan Ochoa,
thrown from vehicle.

Abrasions, hemothorax,
and crush injury

to the right shoulder
and rib cage.

[groaning]

Give me a rapid infuser
and notify the blood bank.

Prepare for rapid
sequence intubation.

Make sure we have a humeral
head retractor in the kit.

It's extensive crush injury.

All spreaders and gougers
on the tray.

On my count, one, two, three.

- [groans]
- [indistinct]

Work up that MAYSI score.

Blood bank's been notified.
[monitors beeping]

[groaning]

It's probably
gonna require a drain.

Problem looks too extensive
for a transhumeral procedure.

Can you feel that?

No.

Anticipate a shoulder
disarticulation.

All right, what about now?

Anything?

What's wrong with me?

♪

The accident
crushed your shoulder.

Your bones, muscles,
nerves, blood vessels,

they're all badly damaged.

Oh, my God.

Determine if the patient
is a candidate for...

All right,
we can save your life, Canaan,

but the operation
is going to require

the amputation
of your right arm.

W-What?

No, you can't take my arm.
Please, please.

The artery in your shoulder,
it's been weakened.

It could rupture at any second.

If that happens,
you will die within minutes.

We need to operate now.

No, no, there has
to be some other way.

I wish that there were.

Well, don't I have
kind of say in this?

Of course.

We need your permission
to operate.

Okay, well, you don't have it.

[soft tense music]

♪

You can't take my arm.
I'd rather die.

♪

Wow, we made good time.

- This is really something.
- [laughs]

Never been out here before.

- Here, hold this.
- All right.

- Want me to grab it?
- Nope.

- [birds singing]
- Wow.

- This is beautiful, Pops.
- [chuckles]

It's just the two of us,
father and son,

spending some good quality...
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Where are you going?

The best spot is just down here.

Yeah, but the sign.

Oh, they got to put that up.

Just making sure
we not terrorists out here

trying to mess with the
New York City drinking water.

It's nothing.

Yeah, but it clearly
says no trespassing.

You always mind the rules,
Floyd.

Good kid.

Never too late to fix that.

[upbeat jazz music]

Oh, come on, now.

It ain't fishing if you ain't
trespassing just a little.

♪

Yo, Pops, wait up.

♪

- Hey, I got your page.
- How can I help?

My patient needs his right
arm amputated at the shoulder

or he's going to be dead
within a matter of hours.

However, he is refusing
the life-saving surgery,

so I need you to
declare him incompetent

so that I can move
forward with the operation

and save his life.

Okay, do you know who that is?

[soft dramatic music]

- Who?
- That's Canaan Ochoa.

He's the starting pitcher
for the Brooklyn Cyclones.

♪

Morning.

Now, who's ready
to have their world

completely rocked
by my new plan?

Let's see,
your last cost-saving plan

was equal to the price of
a one-way flight to Rochester.

Well, then, buckle your
seat belt, Madam Chairwoman.

$5,000.

That is the average cost

when a patient
comes through our doors

at this hospital,
but I have found a way

to reduce this number to...

50.

- Any questions?
- Yes, is this a joke?

Nope, there's nothing funny
about savings like these.

There's no way this is legal.

Well, that's a great question,

and I'm glad you asked.

We're going to accomplish this
with targeted

monetary prescriptions
specifically designed

to nip expensive
and avoidable hospital stays

right in the bud.

- This expression you see?
- Disbelief.

- Oh, okay.
- Well, let me prove it to you.

Fund a one-day pilot program,
and if it succeeds,

we make it permanent

and we sit back
and we let the savings roll in.

♪

It's hard to argue
with those numbers.

Yeah, she's right,
so let's not argue.

[pen clicking]

- All right, fine.
- All in favor?

♪

Your pilot program
is hereby approved.

Thank you, Karen.

- [indistinct chatter]
- [sighs]

You mind showing me
how you plan on implementing

this revolutionary,
never-been-thought-of program

in just one day?

I thought you'd never ask.

[soft upbeat music]

♪

This is going to change lives.

♪

Oh, dear God.

[heart monitor beeping]

[door opens and closes]

- Hi.
- Mr. Ochoa?

Hi, I'm Dr. Frome.

Can I ask you a few questions?

[sighs] Do what you got to do.

Okay, thank you.

Can you tell me what year it is?

2022.

And where are we right now?

A hospital.

And if you found
a stamped letter on the ground,

what would you do with it?

You think I'm crazy.

You have rejected
life-saving medical care,

and it is my job to determine
whether you're of sound mind

to sign your death warrant
today.

That's not the kind of thing
that we want to get wrong,

understand?

[sighs]

All right.

Do you have any family
that would be impacted

by your choice to die?

No, my team was my family.

I already lost them.

You know, many successful people

have a brutally hard time
separating the sense of self

from their career.

T-this isn't my career.

Okay, all right,
it's not your career.

Got it.

So tell me, what is it?

This is my life.

This is... I don't
even know the word.

You're calling?

You know the first game
I ever pitched?

I left my body.
For real.

I mean, I was up there just
thinking about all the things

I had to do, you know,
move my ankle here,

adjust my hips there.

And then suddenly, I was just...

watching it all happen,
10,000 tiny movements,

and then bam.

That ball soared right to
where it was supposed to go,

and it may have been
me doing the wind-up,

but God was throwing that ball.

[soft dramatic music]

♪

And if I can't have that...

I don't want to live, man.

♪

I know what I'm choosing,
doctor.

♪

So if I found a stamped
envelope on the ground,

I'd mail it.

♪

[shakily takes deep breath]

♪

Cancel the surgery.

♪

[siren wailing]

23-year-old jumper off
the Hell's Gate Bridge,

now with multiple
lower extremity fractures.

Heart rate, respirations normal.

We got to him
in the nick of time.

- Stay with us, kid.
- We got you.

[soft tense music]

- I messed up.
- I'm sorry.

Okay, let's get him to Bay 29.

You got nothing
to be sorry about.

Just promise us once
they fix you up,

you'll come by the station
and say hi.

Patient ortho and psych, stat.

- Mike?
- [gasping]

- Mike?
- Man down!

Any medical history
I should know about?

- No, nothing.
- Mike's in perfect health.

He's the one
who saved the jumper.

- We need a stretcher!
- I'm on it.

[gasping]

[Aloe Blacc's "I Need A Dollar"]

♪

Wow, it really works.

What are you going to
spend your prescription on?

Oh, my knees are terrible.

I'm a waiter, but I
haven't been able to work,

so I'm getting orthotics.

Great.

♪

There you go.
Help yourself.

Who's next?

Hi, there.

Pop that in,
and there's your cash.

♪ A dollar is what I need

What are you going to
spend your prescription on?

- Groceries.
- Excellent.

- ♪ A dollar is what I need
- ♪ Hey, hey

[softly] It's working.

♪ A dollar, a dollar,
a dollar is what I need ♪

- A gym membership.
- Nice.

♪ And if I share with you
my story ♪

♪ Would you
share your dollar with me ♪

♪ Come on,
share your dollar with me ♪

A haircut.

Good.

♪ Come on,
share your dollar with me ♪

Tickets to the Laugh Shack.

Mm.

[machine beeping]

Uh, I was prescribed cash
for a bus pass.

Walking to work in this heat

was triggering
my extreme asthma.

- Yeah, that's... may I try?
- Hmm.

[machine beeping]

I think this well has run dry.

Sorry, this was only
a pilot program.

So this prescription
is no longer any good?

[downbeat music]

♪

This time, jig it a little
when you reel it back.

I never knew you
liked fishing this much.

- [chuckles]
- Ever since I was a kid.

Oh, don't watch me,
watch the rod tip.

- Rod tip. Right.
- [chuckles]

- [sighs]
- Oh, not like that.

You try to hook them,
not tickle them.

Hey, man, you never
taught me how to fish.

How am I supposed to know
what I'm doing out here?

Yeah, I never taught you
how to be a surgeon neither,

and that turned out just fine.

- [ratchet clicking]
- Oh, Pops, I got something.

Wait, what... what do I do?

Run!

What?

[upbeat jazz music]

Oh, crap!

[indistinct radio chatter]

Son of a...

♪

Lungs are clear.

- Regular heart rhythm.
- EKG looks fine.

Pupils reactive,
no signs of head trauma.

So it's not cardiac.

It's probably not subdural.

[gasping]

- No signs of concussion.
- No signs of bleeding.

It doesn't make any sense.

Mike was fine before
he went in the water.

He didn't even hesitate.

He dove right in
and pulled the guy to shore.

He's dry drowning.

But there's no water
in his lungs.

He must have inhaled

some small particles
when he dove into the river.

His airway is blocked
due to severe laryngeal spasm.

We can't oxygenate him.

There's no air
that's getting in.

- No, we need to intubate now.
- Come on.

[gasping]

[soft tense music]

If one of your patients told you

that they were going
to go home and hang themselves,

wouldn't you stop them?

That's not the same thing.

Mental health care professionals

intervene if someone
demonstrates a plan.

If a patient is actively
going to pursue self-harm,

yes, of course, I step in.

But Canaan isn't doing anything.

He's just refusing to let us do
something, which is his right.

- Don't hide behind semantics.
- Let's call this what it is.

We are letting him die.

No, we are not.

We are letting a patient
tell the doctors

what they can
and can't do to his body.

That's it.

That's what New Amsterdam
stands for.

That's why we're here.

Really?

I thought that we were
here to save lives.

No, no, not against a
patient's wishes, we're not.

Even if that was ethically
okay, which it is not,

he would sue you for
wrongful life and he would win.

Believe me.

If you force a surgery
on that man,

you will lose your license.

You will never
practice medicine again.

Is that what you want?

♪

Prep Canaan Ochoa for surgery.

♪

[soft tense music]

Why are you doing this?

[mouthing words]

The subclavian artery
could rupture at any moment.

We don't have much time
to save this man's life.

♪

You can start.

♪

Ah...

I don't want to live like this.

♪

Out!

- Everybody out.
- Clear the OR.

[sniffles]

[soft dramatic music]

♪

You offend me.

Would you tell a group
of wounded vets

that their lives
aren't worth living?

Or someone who is missing
an eye or a leg?

I-i-it's not that.

Then what?

You're not special anymore,
so you're just going to die?

♪

[sighs weakly]

I'm nothing else.

Before baseball, I was nothing.

And now, without it...

what's left?

♪

If I had quit when
I couldn't see a way forward,

I would not be here
with you now.

You have spent your whole
life defining yourself

in this one narrow way,

and you have convinced yourself
that is poetry.

♪

I got news for you, Canaan.

You would not be any less human
if you woke up in post-op.

♪

In fact, maybe,

I don't know, just maybe,

you would be more.

[sniffles]

[sighs]

♪

[chuckles]

Boy, you should have
seen the look on your face.

You got wheels, son,
I'll give you that.

You think this is funny?

Come on, we made a
rent-a-cop run a little.

Man needed exercise.

That was a Homeland Security
officer, Dad.

Homeland Security,
for God's sake.

Oh, you need to relax.

I'm a doctor
at a public hospital.

If I get detained
by Homeland Security,

I could lose my license.

Yeah, here we go with
the doctor business again.

Every chance you get,
you slip that in.

- Spoons.
- They like spoons.

We're going to put spoons
on the end of this.

What the hell are you doing?

- What I came to do.
- Fish are still biting.

Come on, let's go.

Are you serious right now?

We could have gone to jail.

No, we're not going fishing.
We're going home.

You're the one pestering me
for months!

You're the one
who wanted all this!

And now, you're blaming me

because it don't live up
to your high expectations.

[soft dramatic music]

That's... that's
not what this is.

Nobody force you
to be here, Floyd.

And last I checked,
nobody's keeping you here now.

♪

I came to go fishing, and
fishing is what I mean to do.

♪

How many nibbles have we gotten?

What?

Likes, bites, hearts, swipes.

And how many hot dudes are
buying what we are selling?

Oh, my gosh, Oh, the hot dudes.

I don't know, let's see.

All right.

Uh, zero.

Is that right?

You know, maybe it didn't post.

- No, no.
- No, it posted.

- It's right there.
- Oh, yeah.

Clear as day.

I guess everyone who saw it
just swiped the other way.

Turns out nobody's buying
what I'm selling today.

Okay. Hmm.

Oh.
[chuckles]

Okay.

For what it's worth,

I would have swiped
the right direction.

[chuckles softly]

[police siren wailing outside]

[phone clatters]

[exhales deeply]

Big news, everybody.

Our humble, little pilot program

was an unmitigated success.

Today, we saved this hospital,
conservatively speaking,

$100,000.

I know what you're thinking.

That's maybe the first time

I've actually
saved this hospital money.

That's why I wanted
to get it in writing.

Now, here's what I'm thinking.

We redirect those savings right
back into the ATM in the lobby

where there are still
patients lined up

to fulfill their prescriptions

and we just
keep that magic flowing.

Some people thought
it couldn't be done.

This is where
our money has been going?

Pedicures?

Prescribed by a podiatrist
for an ingrown toenail.

The Laugh Shack?

- For depression.
- Laughter is the best medicine.

Seeds?

Behavioral health uses gardening

to help ease anxiety.

Lingerie?

- Support bras, actually.
- It's a great story...

We're a hospital, Max,
not a Target.

Right.

How do we know
these patients are

even using the money for
what it was prescribed for?

We don't.

So any of these people
would just take our money

and go out and buy
a PlayStation game?

Yeah, actually,
that was prescribed

for a patient with autism.

Helps with social skills.

Our detractors already
accuse socialized medicine

of being just handouts.

Now you're standing here

saying your big innovation
is literally handouts?

No, no, no, no.

Our medical staff are
assessing patients' needs

and then writing them
specific prescriptions...

- For cash?
- Yeah.

There's zero
accountability here, Max.

Well, that line of thinking
suggests that you only

see our patients as crooks
and liars when actually,

they're just real people
in need of real health care.

But none of these
things are health care.

All of these things
are health care.

A bus pass for a woman whose
severe asthma is triggered

every time she's forced to walk
to work, that is health care.

And when we spend money now,
we save money later,

because all of this
is preventative care.

[soft dramatic music]

♪

[sighs]
If you don't believe me,

just follow these patients
for six weeks

and you'll see that's true.

Here's what will be true
today or in six weeks.

You want New Amsterdam
to give away free money

and no matter how you spin it,

those are handouts
and that's just wrong.

- No, Karen...
- I'm sorry, Max, shut it down.

♪

[indistinct chatter]

♪

[medical equipment beeping]

He's progressed
to hemorrhagic pulmonary edema.

BP is dropping.

His heart's not getting
enough damn oxygen.

- Hang another bag of saline.
- And start a do but a mine drip.

[EKG flat lining]

- It looks like V-fib.
- Damn it.

[EKG flat lining]

[tense music]

[electrical whirring]
Confirming V-fib.

♪

Clear.
[defibrillator thumps]

[EKG flat lining]

Nothing.

- Going again.
- [electrical whirring]

Clear.
[defibrillator thumps]

[EKG flat lining]

Nothing.

Going again.

There's too much blunting.

[defibrillator whirring]

I can't get any oxygen in.

[EKG flat lining]

[soft solemn music]

♪

[sighs]

Time of death, 4:22 p.m.

♪

[EKG flat lining]

We did everything we could.

But I just...

♪

I'm so sorry.

♪

[sighs shakily]

♪

[upbeat jazz music]

♪

Oh, my God.

The fish won.
[laughs]

Can't control
how love comes to you, huh?

Aren't you supposed to
be a brilliant therapist,

master of human insight?

Oh, come on, it couldn't have
been that bad, right?

Plus, you can't put a price
on adventure.

Although to be fair,

I don't know how much
those pants cost.

I should have known playing
hooky with him was a mistake.

To think all this time,
I got him to hang out with me,

what, three,
maybe four times, max?

And it's always me
trying to arrange it.

It's always me trying
to pin him down.

And there he was this morning
coming to me with a plan.

All right?
And he was so excited.

But you know what?

He wasn't showing up for me.

'Cause when I got in trouble,
he didn't care.

Yeah.
You know what?

I almost got arrested today.

What?

Yeah, almost lost
my whole career.

And all he can think about was
getting back to the damn trout.

And when I called him out
on it, he blew up.

Dude went from Norman Rockwell
to screaming

to total indifference
in one afternoon.

Oh, sorry to hear that.

- Well, Mama was right.
- She was right.

She always said that horse
was like a roller coaster.

Starts out fun,
but before you know it,

your back's out
and you want to throw up.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, what
was the car ride home like?

I Ubered.

- You know why?
- Uh, why?

'Cause he's still out there
fishing.

So what can you say
about a man like that?

Well.

No, go ahead, say it.

Um, okay, well...

I've known the man
for exactly two seconds,

so this is worth
a grain of salt.

But it sounds like
a textbook example

of someone
with bipolar disorder.

[soft dramatic music]

♪

[indistinct PA announcement]

♪

And it was working.

I didn't come here today
to get a bus pass,

I came for my asthma.

Yeah, but all you needed
was the bus pass.

[chuckles]

Hang on, I can...

[chuckles]

I gave all my money away
this morning.

♪

Sorry, I couldn't help
but overhear.

Here.
I got you, ma'am.

- Oh, that's...
- Please.

Thank you, dear.

Happy to help.

♪

What is it with this place?

You know, sometimes,
even I don't know.

Excuse me.

That was very kind,
but you didn't have to do that.

Oh, my pleasure.

I donate to charity
all the time,

but nothing feels better

than knowing exactly
who your money is helping.

♪

Hmm.

♪

Good work.

Everyone, thank you all.
I know today was hard.

♪

You did the hard lift,
changing his mind.

♪

All I did was start
from a different perspective.

♪

- Good night.
- Hey, Karen, do me a favor.

Define handout.
Humor me.

- [groans softly]
- A gift you didn't earn.

Something for nothing.

So many people come here
needing our help

and a lot of them can't pay,

but is stopping an unhoused man

from having a heart attack
a handout?

Or giving an undocumented kid
a polio vaccine?

- It's not the same.
- That's medicine.

Everything I did today
was medicine.

The board just can't see that.

But fortunately,
I don't need the board

to see that medicine
extends beyond these walls,

because the rest of the world
already knows that.

Okay, I'll bite.

[soft upbeat music]

- "Sponsor a patient."
- Mm-hmm.

Each of these patients only
needs a small amount of cash

to make a huge impact
on their overall health.

See?

♪ Nobody knows
how to go back home ♪

♪

- See, top right.
- "Allison needs $40."

"I have asthma,
and I need a bus pass."

"My eyes are failing,
and I need them to read."

"I have back pain, and
I would like to hold my baby."

Some of these prescriptions
are as low as $5.

We can help tell their story.

These are not numbers or
statistics or reckless policy,

they're just people.

And when you see a person
in need, you help them.

That's not a handout.
That's just humanity.

♪

♪ This is only where
it begins ♪

♪ Nobody knows how
the story ends ♪

♪

♪ Nobody knows how
the story ends ♪

♪

[sighs]

Hey.

Rough day?

- Yeah, you know, work...
- Work is hard, and I...

I, uh, just, uh...

Nothing, never mind.

No, what?

- Nothing.
- It's just...

You know, it's us.

It's... not us.
It's me, it's me.

It's moving on stuff, and I'm...

We can't talk about that, right?

That's weird.

- No, it's...
- It's not weird at all.

Come on.
Spill it.

- Really?
- Yeah, I'm a big boy.

Uh, yeah, I don't...

I don't know how
to be a single man, Martin.

- [chuckles softly]
- I don't know what I'm doing.

I'm... [chuckles]

It's pathetic.

I was terrible at it in my 20s.
You know.

I'm terrible at it as
a single, middle-aged father.

I'm... I'm just bad at it.
I'm a failed partner.

- Come on.
- Well, it's true.

Mm.

That is my dating profile.

Hard to tell, because nobody
swiped left, right, or center.

Nobody.

[chuckling] Um, uh...

Iggy, your profile's set

to only matches
over 90 years old.

- I'm sorry, what?
- Yeah. [Chuckles]

- What?
- Buddy, yeah.

I think if you just toggle that
and then switch that one.

- Oh, my gosh.
- Boom.

- Oh, my gosh.
- Wowza.

[phone chiming rapidly]
[both chuckle]

Oh.

Holy moly.

I'll see you in three days.

- Yeah, yeah, three days.
- See you then.

[soft dramatic music]

[door opens and closes]

[chuckles softly]

♪

Jesus, you going to
stand out here all night?

I buzzed you up like
ten minutes ago.

[door closes]

♪

Oh yeah, don't mind them.
They're not here.

♪

Yeah, so there are all
your clothes ready to go.

♪

Should I charge
you a storage fee?

♪

[sighs]

♪

[items clattering]

You okay?

[scoffs]

Yeah, like you care.

[wine trickling]

♪

You know,
there's been a change of plans.

[lighter clicking]

I think I might have
to crash here.

♪

- Why?
- What happened to your place?

The truth is
you'd be doing me a favor,

- Really helping me out.
- [scoffs]

If you let me stay here.

♪

Uh, yeah.

Yeah, sure thing, sis.

Just... I don't know...

make yourself right at home.

♪

[Phoebe Bridgers' "Punisher"]

[soft indie folk music]

[indistinct chatter]

♪

♪ When the speed kicks in

♪

- No, no.
- I don't need Ben.

I got this.

[clears throat]

♪

♪ The storybook tiles
on the roof ♪

♪ Were too much

♪

♪ The drugstores
are open all night ♪

[sighs]

"Was that a haiku?"

- No, it wasn't supposed to be.
- [laughs]

No.

♪

No.
Uh, no, no.

I don't want to use this.
Let me...

♪

Um...

you've been there for me
when I needed you the most,

and the truth is,

I should have done this
a long time ago.

So...

Hamburger?

- Hamburgers?
- No, no.

Not hamburgers.

Uh...

no, not hamburgers.

Uh...

grateful we are, um...

♪ What if I told you

♪ I feel like I know you

Friends.

- Friends.
- Friends.

♪ But we never met

Good.

- I got it.
- Watch this.

♪ It's for the best

♪ I can't open my mouth

♪ And forget how to talk

- Same.
- Thank you.

[laughs]

♪ 'Cause even if I could

♪ Wouldn't know
where to start ♪

♪ Wouldn't know
where to stop ♪

[thunder rumbles]