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1
00:00:10,810 --> 00:00:14,531
("I love Lucy" theme song playing)
2
00:00:31,414 --> 00:00:32,315
ETHEL: Lucy!
3
00:00:32,315 --> 00:00:33,316
Yeah?
4
00:00:34,818 --> 00:00:38,538
(laughing)
5
00:00:38,538 --> 00:00:39,739
Oh, no.
6
00:00:39,739 --> 00:00:41,241
Did you miss it?
7
00:00:41,241 --> 00:00:42,742
I certainly did.
8
00:00:42,742 --> 00:00:44,744
The baby left it over at my house.
9
00:00:44,744 --> 00:00:46,246
Well, thanks, honey.
10
00:00:46,246 --> 00:00:48,248
Well, where's Cousin Ernie, your star
boarder?
11
00:00:48,248 --> 00:00:50,383
Oh, he went to the zoo again.
12
00:00:50,383 --> 00:00:52,669
He likes to look at those animals,
doesn't he?
13
00:00:52,669 --> 00:00:55,638
Well, I think it's about 50-50.
14
00:00:55,638 --> 00:00:57,590
(laughing)
15
00:00:57,590 --> 00:01:01,094
Gee, I wish he had enough money to go
back to Tennessee.
16
00:01:01,094 --> 00:01:02,095
Why don't you buy him a ticket?
17
00:01:02,095 --> 00:01:04,597
Oh, we offered to, but he wouldn't
accept it.
18
00:01:04,597 --> 00:01:06,599
Won't accept charity, you know.
19
00:01:06,599 --> 00:01:08,601
If he keeps on eating the way he
does,
20
00:01:08,601 --> 00:01:10,403
we're going to need charity.
21
00:01:10,403 --> 00:01:11,271
Hi.
22
00:01:11,271 --> 00:01:12,272
Oh, hi.
Hi.
23
00:01:12,272 --> 00:01:13,273
Hi, Ethel.
Hi.
24
00:01:13,273 --> 00:01:14,824
I got to go do my dishes.
25
00:01:14,824 --> 00:01:16,326
Okay.
Good luck.
26
00:01:16,326 --> 00:01:17,827
Okay.
27
00:01:17,827 --> 00:01:19,329
Good luck about what?
28
00:01:19,329 --> 00:01:22,082
Getting rid of our star boarder,
Cousin Ernie.
29
00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:24,367
Well, honey, your worries are over.
30
00:01:24,868 --> 00:01:25,869
By tomorrow afternoon,
31
00:01:26,369 --> 00:01:28,371
somebody's going to be on the way
32
00:01:28,371 --> 00:01:30,173
to Bent Fork, Tennessee.
33
00:01:30,173 --> 00:01:31,091
How come?
34
00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:34,043
Well, just, uh...
35
00:01:34,043 --> 00:01:35,044
get a load of this.
36
00:01:35,044 --> 00:01:36,045
What is it?
37
00:01:36,546 --> 00:01:38,548
This is a bus ticket to Bent Fork.
38
00:01:38,548 --> 00:01:40,133
He won't take it.
39
00:01:40,133 --> 00:01:43,136
I know he won't, but I have a plan
that will work.
40
00:01:43,136 --> 00:01:44,604
Oh, I get it.
41
00:01:44,604 --> 00:01:47,390
We'll leave him here; we'll go to
Bent Fork.
44
00:01:52,228 --> 00:01:53,730
All right, so we won't give it to
him.
45
00:01:53,730 --> 00:01:55,115
Suppose he finds it.
46
00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:57,117
Oh...
47
00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:58,618
Ah...
48
00:01:58,618 --> 00:02:01,121
Now, where can I put this so he'll be
sure to find it?
49
00:02:01,621 --> 00:02:03,623
In the refrigerator.
50
00:02:06,993 --> 00:02:08,495
No, no.
51
00:02:08,495 --> 00:02:12,499
Now, suppose that somebody lost this
ticket
52
00:02:12,499 --> 00:02:17,220
in the hallway someplace, you know,
just, uh... like so.
53
00:02:17,220 --> 00:02:18,221
Okay?
Yeah.
54
00:02:18,221 --> 00:02:20,223
And then we ask Ernie
55
00:02:20,223 --> 00:02:23,226
to go over to the Mertzes and get
something for us.
56
00:02:23,226 --> 00:02:24,727
So, he goes down the hall...
57
00:02:24,727 --> 00:02:26,729
(humming)
58
00:02:26,729 --> 00:02:28,231
Ah!
59
00:02:28,231 --> 00:02:30,233
A ticket.
60
00:02:30,233 --> 00:02:31,734
To Bent Fork!
61
00:02:31,734 --> 00:02:33,186
He can't miss it.
62
00:02:33,186 --> 00:02:34,521
Pretty clever, huh?
63
00:02:34,521 --> 00:02:36,823
Well, it finally happened.
64
00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:37,824
What has?
65
00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:39,192
After 13 years of marriage,
66
00:02:39,692 --> 00:02:41,494
you're beginning to think like me.
67
00:02:42,779 --> 00:02:44,280
Please.
68
00:02:44,280 --> 00:02:45,915
(doorbell buzzing)
69
00:02:49,919 --> 00:02:51,421
Hi, Cousin Ricky.
70
00:02:51,421 --> 00:02:52,422
Hi.
71
00:02:52,422 --> 00:02:53,423
Hi, Cousin Lucy.
72
00:02:53,423 --> 00:02:54,924
Hi.
Hi.
73
00:02:54,924 --> 00:02:56,426
Did you have fun at the zoo?
74
00:02:56,426 --> 00:02:57,927
Yeah, I sure did.
75
00:02:57,927 --> 00:03:00,430
You know, while I was down there, I
seen a friend of mine.
76
00:03:00,430 --> 00:03:02,215
Oh? Which cage was he in?
77
00:03:02,215 --> 00:03:05,885
(cackling)
78
00:03:06,386 --> 00:03:10,890
Cousin Lucy, you are a caution to the
jaybirds.
79
00:03:10,890 --> 00:03:14,861
And, you know, this fella's name was
Lester Byck,
80
00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:16,896
and I run over there to try to talk
to him
81
00:03:17,397 --> 00:03:19,899
and he just disappeared into the
crowd somewhere.
82
00:03:19,899 --> 00:03:21,401
Say, Ernie, Ernie...
Yeah.
83
00:03:21,401 --> 00:03:24,737
would you do me a favor and go over
to Fred Mertz
84
00:03:24,737 --> 00:03:27,240
and ask him if he would lend me the
sports section?
85
00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:29,576
Why, sure, sure.
86
00:03:30,493 --> 00:03:33,246
What's the spore session?
87
00:03:33,246 --> 00:03:35,498
Uh, that is the sports section in the
newspaper.
88
00:03:35,498 --> 00:03:37,500
Oh, oh, yeah, yeah.
All right.
89
00:03:39,502 --> 00:03:41,004
Wait a minute.
90
00:03:41,004 --> 00:03:43,006
I seen that around here somewhere
this morning.
91
00:03:43,006 --> 00:03:44,007
Wait a minute.
92
00:03:44,007 --> 00:03:45,008
It's right over here...
93
00:03:45,508 --> 00:03:46,726
Here it is right here.
94
00:03:46,726 --> 00:03:48,928
ERNIE: There you are.
95
00:03:48,928 --> 00:03:50,930
(chuckling): There.
96
00:03:50,930 --> 00:03:51,931
Thank you.
97
00:03:51,931 --> 00:03:53,433
Uh, Ernie, would you ask Ethel
98
00:03:53,433 --> 00:03:55,985
if I could borrow her, uh, potato
masher?
99
00:03:55,985 --> 00:03:57,487
No sooner said than did.
100
00:03:57,487 --> 00:03:58,488
Thank you, Ernie.
Okay.
101
00:03:58,488 --> 00:03:59,489
All righty.
102
00:03:59,489 --> 00:04:00,490
Thanks.
103
00:04:01,991 --> 00:04:05,028
ERNIE: Well, I'll be jump-jumpin'
ding dang!
104
00:04:05,528 --> 00:04:06,029
He found it.
105
00:04:06,529 --> 00:04:07,530
(laughing)
106
00:04:25,548 --> 00:04:26,549
Where did he go?
107
00:04:27,050 --> 00:04:27,967
I don't know.
108
00:04:27,967 --> 00:04:29,969
That's funny.
109
00:04:34,474 --> 00:04:35,475
He's not there.
110
00:04:35,475 --> 00:04:36,809
Where could he have gone?
111
00:04:36,809 --> 00:04:38,728
You don't suppose he got so excited,
112
00:04:38,728 --> 00:04:40,480
he ran down and jumped on the bus?
113
00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:44,117
Not without asking me to pack him a
lunch first.
114
00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:45,902
Hey, I hear him coming.
115
00:04:50,990 --> 00:04:52,492
Cock your pistol
116
00:04:52,492 --> 00:04:53,993
'cause you ain't gonna to believe
this nohow.
117
00:04:53,993 --> 00:04:55,828
What happened, Ernie?
What happened?
118
00:04:55,828 --> 00:04:57,297
I's going down the hall,
119
00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:58,798
and right there on the carpet,
120
00:04:58,798 --> 00:05:01,301
ju-just as plain as the nose on your
face,
121
00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:02,802
was a bus ticket,
122
00:05:02,802 --> 00:05:04,637
and do you know whar it was to?
123
00:05:04,637 --> 00:05:05,471
Whar?
124
00:05:05,471 --> 00:05:06,973
Bent Fork!
125
00:05:06,973 --> 00:05:08,808
All the way thar?
126
00:05:08,808 --> 00:05:10,893
Yes, sirree, Bob.
127
00:05:10,893 --> 00:05:13,262
Ain't that a coinkidinky?
128
00:05:13,262 --> 00:05:17,233
Well, imagine, a bus ticket to Bent
Fork!
129
00:05:17,233 --> 00:05:19,986
Imagine that. I bet it made you happy
finding it, huh?
130
00:05:19,986 --> 00:05:22,772
Yeah, it did at first, but...
131
00:05:22,772 --> 00:05:26,025
I got to thinking of the poor critter
that lost it.
132
00:05:27,910 --> 00:05:29,829
I said to myself,
133
00:05:29,829 --> 00:05:34,083
somewhere, somebody ain't a-goin' to
Bent Fork.
134
00:05:35,868 --> 00:05:37,370
Ernie, where is the ticket?
135
00:05:37,870 --> 00:05:38,871
Yeah, where's the ticket, Ernie?
136
00:05:38,871 --> 00:05:40,873
Well, that's the best part of it.
137
00:05:41,374 --> 00:05:43,376
I run down on the street,
138
00:05:43,376 --> 00:05:46,879
and the very first fella I seen
139
00:05:46,879 --> 00:05:49,882
was the fella that lost the ticket.
140
00:05:49,882 --> 00:05:51,384
You mean you...?
141
00:05:51,384 --> 00:05:55,888
Yup. There he was in a old, poor,
raggedy suit
142
00:05:56,389 --> 00:05:58,191
and he looked so poorly
143
00:05:58,191 --> 00:06:02,645
and I could tell he could ill afford
such a loss.
144
00:06:02,645 --> 00:06:07,033
My, the tears of joy run down his
face
145
00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:08,368
when I give him his ticket.
146
00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:13,289
Ain't it wonderful how a story like
that turns out?
147
00:06:13,289 --> 00:06:15,208
Why, looky there.
148
00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:17,210
Cousin Ricky's got tears of joy
149
00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:19,712
running down his face now.
150
00:06:23,049 --> 00:06:25,885
Yes, well, would it be possible for
you to pick it up
151
00:06:25,885 --> 00:06:27,387
and fix it and get it back
152
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:29,389
before my husband gets home tonight?
153
00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:31,391
Well, I'd certainly appreciate it.
154
00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:32,725
Thank you very much.
155
00:06:32,725 --> 00:06:36,179
Lucy, did you hear that explosion a
few minutes ago?
156
00:06:36,179 --> 00:06:38,681
Indeed I did. It came from our living
room.
157
00:06:38,681 --> 00:06:40,183
It did?! What happened?
158
00:06:40,183 --> 00:06:42,652
Well, cock your pistol, Ethel.
159
00:06:42,652 --> 00:06:45,154
You're not gonna believe this.
160
00:06:45,154 --> 00:06:46,155
Did you ever watch
161
00:06:46,656 --> 00:06:49,659
Millikan's Chicken-Mash Hour on
television?
162
00:06:49,659 --> 00:06:51,160
No.
163
00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:53,162
Well, there's a man named Lester Byck
164
00:06:53,162 --> 00:06:54,664
who is master of ceremonies
165
00:06:55,164 --> 00:06:57,166
on Millikan's Chicken-Mash Hour
166
00:06:57,166 --> 00:07:00,119
and he also comes from Bent Fork,
Tennessee.
167
00:07:00,119 --> 00:07:01,087
Yeah, well, go on.
What happened?
168
00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:03,005
Well, Ernie was watching television,
169
00:07:03,005 --> 00:07:04,507
Lester Byck came on
170
00:07:04,507 --> 00:07:06,509
and Ernie jumped up and hollered,
171
00:07:06,509 --> 00:07:09,011
"Well, I'll be ding-danged if it
ain't Cousin Lester!
172
00:07:09,512 --> 00:07:10,513
Hiya, Cousin Lester!"
173
00:07:10,513 --> 00:07:13,015
And he ran over and clapped him on
the back--
174
00:07:13,015 --> 00:07:15,017
on the tube, I should say.
175
00:07:15,017 --> 00:07:16,018
No.
176
00:07:16,018 --> 00:07:17,937
Yes, and the whole set exploded.
177
00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:19,222
(gasps)
178
00:07:19,222 --> 00:07:20,556
Oh, my goodness.
179
00:07:20,556 --> 00:07:22,558
You are just in time to help me clean
up.
180
00:07:22,558 --> 00:07:23,559
Come, girl.
181
00:07:28,397 --> 00:07:30,900
Oh, Lucy!
182
00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:33,402
Oh, my goodness.
183
00:07:33,402 --> 00:07:35,404
Well, how's Cousin Ernie? Is he hurt?
184
00:07:35,404 --> 00:07:36,906
Don't be silly.
185
00:07:36,906 --> 00:07:38,407
He's on his way down to the
television station
186
00:07:38,407 --> 00:07:43,129
to tell Cousin Lester he's sorry he
hit him so hard.
187
00:07:43,129 --> 00:07:45,965
Now, that boy has got to go.
188
00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:47,967
There must be some way to get rid of
him.
189
00:07:47,967 --> 00:07:50,419
Oh, if he just wasn't so darn nice...
190
00:07:50,920 --> 00:07:52,421
As much as I want to get rid of him,
191
00:07:52,421 --> 00:07:54,423
I-I just couldn't hurt him.
192
00:07:54,423 --> 00:07:55,424
Oh...
193
00:07:55,424 --> 00:07:56,726
Why don't you get him a job?
194
00:07:56,726 --> 00:07:59,595
Oh, we thought of that, but there's
only one thing he can do
195
00:07:59,595 --> 00:08:02,932
and there's not much demand for a
professional eater.
196
00:08:02,932 --> 00:08:05,401
By the time I get that set paid for,
197
00:08:05,401 --> 00:08:07,403
I'm not going to be able to keep him
in groceries.
198
00:08:07,403 --> 00:08:09,906
The food that that boy can put away,
honestly...
199
00:08:09,906 --> 00:08:11,908
Hey, that ought to do it!
200
00:08:11,908 --> 00:08:12,191
What?
201
00:08:12,191 --> 00:08:13,609
I have a notion
202
00:08:13,609 --> 00:08:16,445
that when the food goes, so will
Cousin Ernie.
203
00:08:16,445 --> 00:08:18,364
Of course!
204
00:08:18,364 --> 00:08:19,365
I'll tell him we're broke.
Yeah.
205
00:08:19,365 --> 00:08:21,367
I'll, I'll tell him that Ricky lost
his job.
206
00:08:21,367 --> 00:08:22,368
Yeah!
207
00:08:22,368 --> 00:08:23,870
Will you help me?
Sure!
208
00:08:23,870 --> 00:08:25,338
Listen, here's what I want Fred and
you to do.
209
00:08:25,838 --> 00:08:31,127
From the great Atlantic Ocean to the
wide Pacific shore
210
00:08:31,127 --> 00:08:33,629
To the green old flowin' mountains
211
00:08:33,629 --> 00:08:37,133
To the south bell by the moor
212
00:08:37,133 --> 00:08:39,635
She's mighty tall and handsome
213
00:08:39,635 --> 00:08:43,639
She's known quite well by all
214
00:08:43,639 --> 00:08:49,028
She's a combination called the Wabash
Cannonball
215
00:08:49,028 --> 00:08:55,535
Listen to the jingle, the rumble and
the roar...
216
00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:02,041
Cousin Lucy!
217
00:09:02,041 --> 00:09:03,543
LUCY: Yup!
218
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:06,045
Is breakfast about ready?
219
00:09:20,092 --> 00:09:24,397
Cousin Lucy, them clothes you're
a-wearin'...
220
00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:27,567
Oh, you noticed them.
221
00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:30,069
I couldn't help it.
222
00:09:30,069 --> 00:09:32,071
That sweater...
223
00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:34,357
You remind me of my grandma.
224
00:09:34,357 --> 00:09:36,192
Oh.
225
00:09:36,192 --> 00:09:39,078
Uh, Ernie, about breakfast...
226
00:09:39,078 --> 00:09:40,529
Is it ready?
227
00:09:40,529 --> 00:09:43,499
Um... look, Ernie,
228
00:09:43,499 --> 00:09:47,503
you know you're welcome to anything
we've got, but, uh...
229
00:09:47,503 --> 00:09:48,504
Come in the kitchen.
230
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:26,792
Somebody around here has been acting
a hog.
231
00:10:30,246 --> 00:10:33,549
No, it's worse than that, Ernie. Sit
down.
232
00:10:44,927 --> 00:10:47,647
There's your breakfast and lunch.
233
00:10:50,016 --> 00:10:53,486
Breakfast and lunch?
234
00:10:53,486 --> 00:10:55,488
Chew it slowly.
235
00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:57,490
It'll last longer.
236
00:11:16,842 --> 00:11:18,678
Go ahead. It ain't bad.
237
00:11:21,630 --> 00:11:23,132
(doorbell buzzing)
238
00:11:23,132 --> 00:11:25,634
Will you see who's at the door,
Ernie?
239
00:11:25,634 --> 00:11:26,635
Uh-huh.
240
00:11:42,952 --> 00:11:44,453
Hello, Ernie. Is Lucy home?
241
00:11:44,954 --> 00:11:45,454
Yeah, yeah.
242
00:11:45,955 --> 00:11:46,455
Cousin Lucy!
243
00:11:46,956 --> 00:11:47,456
Hello.
244
00:11:47,957 --> 00:11:49,825
Company's dropped in!
245
00:11:51,327 --> 00:11:52,712
Hello, Ethel.
246
00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:54,997
You poor little thing.
247
00:11:54,997 --> 00:11:56,966
We brought you some food.
248
00:11:56,966 --> 00:11:58,968
Oh! Thank you.
249
00:11:58,968 --> 00:11:59,969
Thank you!
250
00:11:59,969 --> 00:12:00,753
It's all right.
251
00:12:00,753 --> 00:12:03,139
Bread. Flour. Milk.
252
00:12:03,139 --> 00:12:05,424
You saved my baby's life.
253
00:12:07,843 --> 00:12:10,346
Oh, thank you.
Thank you.
254
00:12:10,346 --> 00:12:11,847
Oh, thank you.
255
00:12:11,847 --> 00:12:14,350
And I brought you an old dress of
mine, darling.
256
00:12:14,350 --> 00:12:16,852
Oh, you're so good to me.
257
00:12:16,852 --> 00:12:19,688
Oh, it's beautiful!
258
00:12:19,688 --> 00:12:23,159
Oh, thank you. Thank you.
259
00:12:23,159 --> 00:12:24,610
Well, it's the least we could do,
260
00:12:24,610 --> 00:12:26,996
considering we got to kick you out of
your apartment.
261
00:12:26,996 --> 00:12:28,447
We hate to do it,
262
00:12:28,447 --> 00:12:29,949
but you're six months behind on the
rent
263
00:12:29,949 --> 00:12:31,951
and since we I know, heard
that... please, please,
264
00:12:31,951 --> 00:12:33,953
Let's not talk in front of company.
265
00:12:34,453 --> 00:12:39,208
Cousin Ernie doesn't know that Ricky
lost his j-o-b.
266
00:12:43,796 --> 00:12:47,683
Now, darling, you know you can count
on us for help.
267
00:12:47,683 --> 00:12:48,684
I know.
268
00:12:48,684 --> 00:12:50,186
You're real, true friends.
269
00:12:50,186 --> 00:12:51,187
Thank you.
270
00:12:51,187 --> 00:12:52,688
Come, Fred.
271
00:12:52,688 --> 00:12:53,689
Yeah.
272
00:12:53,689 --> 00:12:54,690
Bye.
Bye.
273
00:12:59,695 --> 00:13:01,697
Ah... Cousin Lucy...
274
00:13:02,198 --> 00:13:03,199
Yes, Cousin Ernie?
275
00:13:03,699 --> 00:13:06,202
I don't want to be a nosey Parker,
276
00:13:06,702 --> 00:13:11,457
and, uh, I don't understand this
j-o-b,
277
00:13:11,457 --> 00:13:16,378
but I think there's something wrong
around here.
278
00:13:16,378 --> 00:13:18,047
Whatever makes you think that?
279
00:13:18,047 --> 00:13:19,548
(laughs)
280
00:13:19,548 --> 00:13:22,551
You've got to get up pretty early in
the morning
281
00:13:22,551 --> 00:13:24,053
to fool old Ernie.
282
00:13:24,053 --> 00:13:27,556
I think there's a polecat in the
henhouse.
283
00:13:27,556 --> 00:13:32,061
Well, I guess we can't keep it from
you any longer.
284
00:13:32,061 --> 00:13:33,562
You're right, Ernie.
285
00:13:33,562 --> 00:13:35,064
Something is wrong.
286
00:13:35,064 --> 00:13:36,565
Mighty wrong.
287
00:13:37,066 --> 00:13:39,568
Mighty wrong.
288
00:13:40,069 --> 00:13:41,570
We're broke.
289
00:13:42,071 --> 00:13:44,073
Ricky's lost his job.
290
00:13:44,573 --> 00:13:46,575
We're penniless.
291
00:13:46,575 --> 00:13:49,495
Now, now, now, Cousin Lucy,
292
00:13:49,995 --> 00:13:52,915
don't you go and take on like that.
293
00:13:52,915 --> 00:13:56,919
Now, now, now, now, now.
294
00:13:56,919 --> 00:13:58,921
Oh, I don't mind for myself.
295
00:13:58,921 --> 00:14:01,924
I don't mind not having anything to
eat,
296
00:14:01,924 --> 00:14:03,926
not having anyplace to live,
297
00:14:03,926 --> 00:14:06,345
but the bitterest pill of all
298
00:14:06,345 --> 00:14:11,350
is not being able to afford you with
us anymore.
299
00:14:11,350 --> 00:14:13,769
Oh, what the hen feathers.
300
00:14:13,769 --> 00:14:15,771
That's nothing to cry about.
301
00:14:15,771 --> 00:14:19,558
Look, I'll just hightail it right on
back to Bent Fork.
302
00:14:19,558 --> 00:14:22,695
Well, maybe that would be best,
Ernie.
303
00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:25,531
Well, I'll go pack my other shirt.
304
00:14:25,531 --> 00:14:28,033
Mama always said I had a lot of
get-up-and-go,
305
00:14:28,534 --> 00:14:31,036
so I'll just get up and go.
306
00:14:43,799 --> 00:14:45,301
Lucy?
307
00:14:45,301 --> 00:14:46,302
LUCY: Yeah?
308
00:14:46,302 --> 00:14:47,303
Hi.
309
00:14:47,803 --> 00:14:49,305
ETHEL: Hasn't he gone yet?
310
00:14:49,305 --> 00:14:52,308
Sure. He left an hour ago with his
suitcase in his hand,
311
00:14:52,308 --> 00:14:54,310
his hat on his head and a lump in his
throat.
312
00:14:54,810 --> 00:14:55,761
Why are you still in those clothes?
313
00:14:55,761 --> 00:14:58,514
Oh, I just wanted Ricky to see how I
look.
314
00:14:58,514 --> 00:15:00,316
(laughing): Oh.
315
00:15:00,316 --> 00:15:02,318
Well, then you won't need our
rollaway bed anymore.
316
00:15:02,818 --> 00:15:04,320
No, I won't, Fred.
Thank you very much.
317
00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:05,821
Let's get it out of her way.
Yeah.
318
00:15:05,821 --> 00:15:07,823
I'd appreciate it.
It's a might handy thing
319
00:15:07,823 --> 00:15:09,325
to have around, though, I can tell
you that.
320
00:15:09,325 --> 00:15:10,326
FRED: Here we go.
321
00:15:10,326 --> 00:15:11,327
Okay.
322
00:15:12,661 --> 00:15:14,113
Ernie!
323
00:15:14,113 --> 00:15:16,115
Yep, it's me. Cousin Fred, you might
as well
324
00:15:16,115 --> 00:15:18,617
put that runaway bed back where you
got it.
325
00:15:18,617 --> 00:15:19,618
I'm a-stayin'.
326
00:15:20,119 --> 00:15:23,622
But, Ernie, I told you, we're broke.
327
00:15:23,622 --> 00:15:24,957
They're wiped out.
328
00:15:24,957 --> 00:15:26,926
I know it. That's why I'm a-stayin'.
329
00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:31,880
Cousin Lucy, I ain't a-leavin' you in
your time of need.
330
00:15:32,381 --> 00:15:34,883
I got as fer as the corner
331
00:15:34,883 --> 00:15:36,885
and I stopped dead in my tracks.
332
00:15:37,386 --> 00:15:40,222
It hit me like a Hickory Ball.
333
00:15:40,222 --> 00:15:46,562
I said to myself "You're a rat
a-leavin' a sinking ship."
334
00:15:46,562 --> 00:15:49,531
Oh, now, Ernie, you shouldn't feel
like that.
335
00:15:49,531 --> 00:15:51,867
You just go on home.
We'll manage.
336
00:15:51,867 --> 00:15:53,285
Sure. We'll help 'em.
337
00:15:53,285 --> 00:15:56,288
You can keep the apartment for
another month.
338
00:15:56,288 --> 00:15:57,790
You can go ahead home.
339
00:15:57,790 --> 00:15:58,624
Yeah.
340
00:15:58,624 --> 00:16:00,960
Now you all hush up.
341
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:03,963
I stayed with you while you was
eatin' high on the hog
342
00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:05,464
and I'm gonna stick to you
343
00:16:05,464 --> 00:16:06,966
while you're down around the hocks.
344
00:16:09,752 --> 00:16:11,553
Oh, Ernie, really, if I could...
345
00:16:11,553 --> 00:16:13,055
Hi.
BOTH: Hi, Rick.
346
00:16:13,055 --> 00:16:14,056
Hi, Cousin!
347
00:16:14,056 --> 00:16:15,557
Hi, amigo.
348
00:16:16,558 --> 00:16:18,310
What's the matter with you?
349
00:16:18,310 --> 00:16:21,680
Uh, I-I-I was just telling Ernie how
we were broke
350
00:16:22,181 --> 00:16:24,066
and we couldn't afford to keep him
here any longer
351
00:16:24,066 --> 00:16:25,567
and-and the reason that we were...
352
00:16:25,567 --> 00:16:27,069
What do you mean, "broke"?
353
00:16:27,069 --> 00:16:29,571
Now, don't you go puttin' on none
354
00:16:29,571 --> 00:16:31,573
for me there, Cousin Ricky.
355
00:16:31,573 --> 00:16:32,574
Cousin Lucy told me
356
00:16:32,574 --> 00:16:36,328
all about you losing your j-o-b.
357
00:16:36,328 --> 00:16:37,246
What?!
358
00:16:37,246 --> 00:16:38,747
That's right.
359
00:16:38,747 --> 00:16:40,749
And-and now's when you need a real
friend,
360
00:16:40,749 --> 00:16:43,752
and I ain't the only friend you've
got neither.
361
00:16:43,752 --> 00:16:44,753
What do you mean, Ernie?
362
00:16:44,753 --> 00:16:46,705
Well, so on the way back up here,
363
00:16:46,705 --> 00:16:49,208
I stopped down at the grocery store,
364
00:16:49,208 --> 00:16:52,211
and the fella there was that amazed
365
00:16:52,211 --> 00:16:54,213
when I told him you'd been picked
cleaner
366
00:16:54,713 --> 00:16:55,597
than a hound's tooth.
367
00:16:58,050 --> 00:17:01,053
You told the grocery man that we were
broke?
368
00:17:01,053 --> 00:17:03,022
Yep, and look what he give me.
369
00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:04,023
Oh, scoot over there.
370
00:17:04,523 --> 00:17:06,108
This is just gonna tickle you to
death.
371
00:17:06,108 --> 00:17:08,110
Oh, I'll tell you, he's the nicest
fella.
372
00:17:08,110 --> 00:17:11,063
Here, now, there's some day-old
bread.
373
00:17:11,563 --> 00:17:14,066
Here's some of the canned goods
374
00:17:14,566 --> 00:17:17,069
that, uh, that lost the labels off
them, you know.
375
00:17:17,069 --> 00:17:20,372
Uh... Ernie, the Ricardos don't,
uh...
376
00:17:20,372 --> 00:17:22,658
They don't want anybody to know
they're broke.
377
00:17:22,658 --> 00:17:25,210
Aah! I never took no stock
378
00:17:25,210 --> 00:17:26,211
in foolish pride.
379
00:17:26,712 --> 00:17:28,714
Now, down home, when folks got into
trouble,
380
00:17:28,714 --> 00:17:31,717
the neighbors all pitched in and
helped,
381
00:17:31,717 --> 00:17:34,219
and I'm happy to report
382
00:17:34,219 --> 00:17:36,221
that your neighbors here in New York
383
00:17:36,221 --> 00:17:40,008
are just as friendly as they are in
Tennessee.
384
00:17:42,511 --> 00:17:44,229
Why do you say that, Ernie?
385
00:17:44,229 --> 00:17:46,565
I took up a collection
386
00:17:46,565 --> 00:17:50,069
of all your neighbors here in this
apartment.
387
00:17:50,319 --> 00:17:51,603
Oh, no.
388
00:17:51,603 --> 00:17:53,105
Oh, yeah.
389
00:17:53,105 --> 00:17:54,106
And look-it here.
390
00:17:54,106 --> 00:17:55,607
We didn't do bad, neither.
391
00:17:55,607 --> 00:17:56,608
Look-it there.
392
00:17:56,608 --> 00:17:57,609
Isn't that wonderful?
393
00:17:57,609 --> 00:17:59,111
You know, when folks get hard up,
394
00:17:59,611 --> 00:18:01,113
it's just wonderful how people...
395
00:18:08,921 --> 00:18:09,922
Hi.
396
00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:11,423
Hi. How'd everything go?
397
00:18:11,423 --> 00:18:12,424
All right.
How's the baby?
398
00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:14,259
Haven't heard a peep out of him.
399
00:18:14,259 --> 00:18:15,177
Ricky come back yet?
400
00:18:15,177 --> 00:18:16,178
No.
401
00:18:16,678 --> 00:18:19,431
I have never seen him so mad.
402
00:18:19,431 --> 00:18:20,716
Neither have I.
403
00:18:20,716 --> 00:18:23,719
He just started to shake and walked
out of the door.
404
00:18:23,719 --> 00:18:26,221
He didn't say a word to you, I wonder
why.
405
00:18:26,221 --> 00:18:27,940
He was afraid.
406
00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:29,441
Afraid of what?
407
00:18:29,441 --> 00:18:31,777
Afraid he might kill me.
408
00:18:33,695 --> 00:18:35,197
Where's Ernie?
409
00:18:35,197 --> 00:18:38,033
I don't know. He just said, "I got an
idea," and left.
410
00:18:38,033 --> 00:18:39,952
Well, everybody took their money back
411
00:18:39,952 --> 00:18:41,954
and I got 42 cents left over.
412
00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:43,956
Ah!
413
00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:45,958
I'll bet that belonged to Ernie.
414
00:18:46,458 --> 00:18:48,460
That's all the money he had left in
the world.
415
00:18:48,460 --> 00:18:49,461
Aw...
416
00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:50,963
Oh, dear.
417
00:18:51,463 --> 00:18:54,750
If I wasn't so sick and tired of him,
I-I'd like him.
418
00:18:54,750 --> 00:18:56,585
Well, how are you gonna get rid of
him now?
419
00:18:57,085 --> 00:18:58,086
I'm not even gonna try.
420
00:18:58,086 --> 00:18:59,087
I give up.
421
00:18:59,588 --> 00:19:01,840
Oh, Lucy, he'll stay here forever.
422
00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:04,176
Well, we'll get used to him through
the years.
423
00:19:04,176 --> 00:19:07,062
Who knows? Someday we may even adopt
him.
424
00:19:07,062 --> 00:19:09,064
(laughing): Oh...
425
00:19:09,064 --> 00:19:10,065
I got to go put my roast on.
426
00:19:10,566 --> 00:19:12,568
If you need any help when Ricky
comes, just yell.
427
00:19:13,068 --> 00:19:13,569
All right, dear.
428
00:19:16,104 --> 00:19:17,606
(whispering): Here comes Ricky.
429
00:19:20,609 --> 00:19:21,610
Hi.
430
00:19:21,610 --> 00:19:23,111
Hi, Ethel.
431
00:19:24,363 --> 00:19:25,697
Is that a smile?
432
00:19:27,199 --> 00:19:28,700
Yeah.
433
00:19:28,700 --> 00:19:30,202
Oh.
434
00:19:30,202 --> 00:19:34,206
Well, you know, I got to thinking
about it, and...
435
00:19:34,706 --> 00:19:35,707
(chuckles)
436
00:19:35,707 --> 00:19:37,509
I just can't get mad at that guy.
437
00:19:37,509 --> 00:19:38,343
That's right, honey.
438
00:19:38,343 --> 00:19:39,344
ETHEL: Sure.
439
00:19:39,344 --> 00:19:41,346
He is so sweet and so nice.
440
00:19:41,847 --> 00:19:42,881
Yeah. Yeah.
441
00:19:42,881 --> 00:19:45,384
Imagine him taking up a collection
for us.
442
00:19:45,384 --> 00:19:46,885
How about that?
443
00:19:46,885 --> 00:19:49,388
Well, honey, I guess we'll just have
to figure out
444
00:19:49,388 --> 00:19:51,890
a way to get rid of him without
hurting his feelings.
445
00:19:51,890 --> 00:19:52,891
That's right, honey.
446
00:19:52,891 --> 00:19:53,892
I just can't do it.
447
00:19:53,892 --> 00:19:54,893
No.
448
00:19:54,893 --> 00:19:55,894
ERNIE: Cousin Lucy!
Cousin Lucy!
449
00:19:55,894 --> 00:19:56,895
(sighs)
450
00:19:56,895 --> 00:19:59,198
Here comes my oldest boy.
451
00:20:00,532 --> 00:20:03,535
Cousin Lucy, your troubles is all
over.
452
00:20:03,535 --> 00:20:08,874
We'uns is a-going on Millikan's
Chicken-Mash Hour.
453
00:20:08,874 --> 00:20:10,242
Who is "we'uns"?
454
00:20:10,242 --> 00:20:12,244
Well, me and you and Cousin Ricky
455
00:20:12,244 --> 00:20:13,745
and Cousin Ethel and Cousin Fred.
456
00:20:14,246 --> 00:20:18,917
Now, wait. Just, just count me'uns
out of you all's we'uns.
457
00:20:18,917 --> 00:20:23,422
Well, now, don't say the preserves is
spoilt
458
00:20:23,422 --> 00:20:26,174
till you've took the lid off the jar.
459
00:20:29,428 --> 00:20:31,396
What's he mean by that?
460
00:20:31,396 --> 00:20:35,183
I don't know, but keep the lid on
that jar.
461
00:20:35,183 --> 00:20:39,187
But can't you see that this fixes
everything?
462
00:20:39,187 --> 00:20:42,658
They'll pay $200 for one appearance
463
00:20:42,658 --> 00:20:46,995
of Ernest Ford and his four hot
chicken pickers.
464
00:20:46,995 --> 00:20:50,499
"Hot chicken pickers"?
465
00:20:50,499 --> 00:20:51,500
Yeah.
Oh, no, no, no.
466
00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:53,001
Look, Ernie, Ernie.
467
00:20:53,001 --> 00:20:54,786
Really, we don't need the money.
Really, we don't.
468
00:20:54,786 --> 00:20:56,705
Now, as the whale said
469
00:20:56,705 --> 00:20:58,206
when he seen Jonah standing on the
bank,
470
00:20:58,707 --> 00:21:01,009
"I ain't a-swallerin' that."
471
00:21:03,378 --> 00:21:04,963
Look, Ernie, that's...
472
00:21:04,963 --> 00:21:06,965
It's, it's, it's very nice of you,
473
00:21:06,965 --> 00:21:10,469
but we-we ain't the, uh, hot chicken
pickin' type.
474
00:21:10,969 --> 00:21:14,473
Then I guess I'll never get back to
Bent Fork.
475
00:21:14,473 --> 00:21:15,774
Why not?
476
00:21:15,774 --> 00:21:17,559
Well, you see, with that $200,
477
00:21:17,559 --> 00:21:20,562
that'll pay my bus fare back to Bent
Fork.
478
00:21:20,562 --> 00:21:23,565
Then I'll have about 175 left
479
00:21:23,565 --> 00:21:27,569
and that ought to do you all about,
oh, six months or so.
480
00:21:27,569 --> 00:21:31,573
But... if you don't cotton to the
idea,
481
00:21:31,573 --> 00:21:33,075
I reckon I'll just have to set around
here
482
00:21:33,075 --> 00:21:34,576
till I think of something better.
483
00:21:34,576 --> 00:21:36,044
Ernie...
484
00:21:36,044 --> 00:21:37,546
Hmm?
485
00:21:37,546 --> 00:21:41,049
You mean if we, if we go on this
television show with you,
486
00:21:41,049 --> 00:21:43,802
you... you'll be able to go back to
Bent Fork?
487
00:21:43,802 --> 00:21:47,673
Right after the last twang of the
guitar,
488
00:21:48,173 --> 00:21:49,675
I'll be a-headin' home
489
00:21:49,675 --> 00:21:53,178
quicker than a bobcat with a burr
under his tail.
490
00:21:57,182 --> 00:21:58,684
Ricky, what do you say?
491
00:21:59,184 --> 00:22:02,187
Bring on the hot chickens and let's
start pickin'.
492
00:22:04,323 --> 00:22:06,241
And now, friends and neighbors,
493
00:22:06,241 --> 00:22:08,744
Millikan's Chicken-Mash Hour is proud
to present
494
00:22:08,744 --> 00:22:10,746
for the first time on television,
495
00:22:10,996 --> 00:22:13,865
a group that come clean from Bent
Fork, Tennessee,
496
00:22:13,865 --> 00:22:17,285
Ernie Ford and his four hot chicken
pickers!
497
00:22:17,285 --> 00:22:18,370
There they are!
498
00:22:18,370 --> 00:22:19,371
(applause)
499
00:22:19,371 --> 00:22:23,375
(playing bright country intro)
500
00:22:27,879 --> 00:22:30,215
ERNIE: A-one, a-two, three, four.
501
00:22:30,215 --> 00:22:35,637
(playing "Y'all Come")
502
00:22:45,063 --> 00:22:47,065
When you live in the country
503
00:22:47,065 --> 00:22:49,401
Everybody is your neighbor
504
00:22:49,401 --> 00:22:51,403
On this one thing you can rely
505
00:22:51,403 --> 00:22:52,904
Slap my thigh!
506
00:22:52,904 --> 00:22:54,906
They all come to see you
507
00:22:54,906 --> 00:22:56,408
And they never leave you
508
00:22:56,408 --> 00:23:00,412
Saying, "Y'all come to see us by and
by"
509
00:23:00,412 --> 00:23:01,913
By and by
510
00:23:01,913 --> 00:23:04,216
By and by
511
00:23:04,216 --> 00:23:05,083
Y'all come
512
00:23:05,083 --> 00:23:06,084
Y'all come
513
00:23:06,084 --> 00:23:07,085
Y'all come
514
00:23:07,085 --> 00:23:08,587
Y'all come
515
00:23:08,587 --> 00:23:10,589
Oh, you all come and see us when you
can
516
00:23:11,089 --> 00:23:11,590
It's for free!
517
00:23:12,090 --> 00:23:12,591
Y'all come
518
00:23:13,091 --> 00:23:13,592
Bring the pig!
519
00:23:14,092 --> 00:23:14,593
Y'all come
520
00:23:15,093 --> 00:23:16,094
Ah-ha
521
00:23:16,595 --> 00:23:19,981
Oh, you'll all come and see us now
and then
522
00:23:19,981 --> 00:23:21,933
ERNIE: Openhanded, headed down south
523
00:23:22,434 --> 00:23:23,935
Get a little moonshine in your mouth
524
00:23:23,935 --> 00:23:25,937
Chicken in a bread pan peckin' out
dough
525
00:23:25,937 --> 00:23:27,939
Come on, boy, don't be slow
526
00:23:27,939 --> 00:23:29,825
Grab your partner, pat her on the
head
527
00:23:29,825 --> 00:23:31,827
If she don't like biscuits, feed her
cornbread
528
00:23:31,827 --> 00:23:33,829
Hook to her belly there and hook
through her bracelet
529
00:23:33,829 --> 00:23:35,831
Come on boy, we're goin' places
530
00:23:35,831 --> 00:23:36,698
Ah-ha
531
00:23:36,698 --> 00:23:39,701
Ah-ha
532
00:23:39,701 --> 00:23:41,503
A-one, a-two, three, four.
533
00:23:41,503 --> 00:23:43,371
Kinfolks are a-comin'
534
00:23:43,371 --> 00:23:45,373
They're comin' by the dozen
535
00:23:45,373 --> 00:23:47,676
Eating everything from soup to hay
536
00:23:47,676 --> 00:23:49,377
Hi, Cousin!
Hi!
537
00:23:49,377 --> 00:23:52,848
Hang out after dinner there, and you
don't get any thinner
538
00:23:53,348 --> 00:23:55,350
And here's what you hear them say
539
00:23:55,350 --> 00:23:56,351
Hear them say
540
00:23:56,351 --> 00:23:57,352
Hear them say
541
00:23:57,352 --> 00:23:58,220
Hear them say
542
00:23:58,220 --> 00:24:00,222
Hear them say
543
00:24:00,222 --> 00:24:01,723
Y'all come
544
00:24:01,723 --> 00:24:02,557
Bring the kids!
545
00:24:02,557 --> 00:24:03,525
Y'all come
546
00:24:03,525 --> 00:24:05,026
Land o' Goshen!
547
00:24:05,026 --> 00:24:07,362
Oh, you all come and see us when you
can
548
00:24:07,362 --> 00:24:08,196
(crowing)
549
00:24:08,196 --> 00:24:09,114
Y'all come
550
00:24:09,114 --> 00:24:10,115
Bring the pig!
551
00:24:10,115 --> 00:24:11,366
Y'all come
552
00:24:11,366 --> 00:24:12,484
Here, kitty, kitty!
553
00:24:12,951 --> 00:24:16,455
Oh, you all come to see us now and
then
554
00:24:16,455 --> 00:24:18,457
ERNIE: Jim and June and Uncle Andy
555
00:24:18,457 --> 00:24:20,459
Cousin Pete and Aunt Mirandy
556
00:24:20,459 --> 00:24:22,961
All the cows and chickens miss you,
too
557
00:24:22,961 --> 00:24:24,463
Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum
558
00:24:24,463 --> 00:24:26,465
Jim and June can sip some cider
559
00:24:26,465 --> 00:24:28,467
Ma and Pa can ride the glider
560
00:24:28,467 --> 00:24:30,969
Cousin Rick can yodel "babaloo"
561
00:24:30,969 --> 00:24:31,803
Babaloo
562
00:24:31,803 --> 00:24:32,671
Y'all come
563
00:24:33,171 --> 00:24:33,672
Y'all come
564
00:24:34,172 --> 00:24:35,173
Babaloo
565
00:24:35,173 --> 00:24:37,976
Oh, you all come and see us when you
can
566
00:24:37,976 --> 00:24:39,261
Oh, babaloo
567
00:24:39,261 --> 00:24:40,262
Y'all come
568
00:24:40,762 --> 00:24:41,813
Y'all come
569
00:24:42,314 --> 00:24:43,315
Yeah, yeah
570
00:24:43,815 --> 00:24:46,318
Oh, you all come and see us now and
then
571
00:24:46,318 --> 00:24:52,824
You all come and see us now and then
572
00:24:52,824 --> 00:24:54,609
Ah-ha
573
00:24:54,609 --> 00:24:56,111
Ah-ha
574
00:24:56,111 --> 00:24:57,612
Yeah!
575
00:24:57,612 --> 00:25:00,115
(applause)
576
00:25:07,422 --> 00:25:10,425
("I Love Lucy" theme song playing)
577
00:25:16,932 --> 00:25:19,434
ANNOUNCER: Lester Byck was played by
Dick Reeves
578
00:25:19,935 --> 00:25:21,937
and Ernie was played by Ernie Ford.
579
00:26:03,395 --> 00:26:05,830
I Love Lucy is a Desilu Production.
580
00:26:05,830 --> 00:26:08,233
Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz
581
00:26:08,233 --> 00:26:11,002
will be back next week at this same
time.
39137
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