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1
00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:12,128
("I Love Lucy" theme song playing)
2
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(playing piano)
3
00:00:36,870 --> 00:00:41,875
There's a brand-new baby at our house
4
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The nicest little gift we've ever had
5
00:00:46,379 --> 00:00:48,882
How much fuller life's become
6
00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:51,384
No one knows what makes it hum
7
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Till you call each other Mommy and
Dad
8
00:00:55,889 --> 00:01:01,311
There's a brand-new baby at our house
9
00:01:01,311 --> 00:01:05,315
And though he's been there just a
little while
10
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In the parlor, in the hall
11
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Every picture on the wall
12
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Seems to know because they all wear a
smile
13
00:01:14,324 --> 00:01:19,746
I can't explain what he does to my
heart
14
00:01:19,746 --> 00:01:23,750
With his infant charms
15
00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:28,755
I never knew what heaven was
16
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Till I held an angel in my arms
17
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There's a brand-new baby at our house
18
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He's twice as sweet as honey from the
comb
19
00:01:42,719 --> 00:01:47,724
He's the image of my spouse, he's the
tricky Mickey Mouse
20
00:01:47,724 --> 00:01:51,444
Who has changed our happy house to a
home
21
00:01:51,444 --> 00:01:53,813
We thank the Lord
22
00:01:53,813 --> 00:01:56,316
Whose love and wondrous powers
23
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Gave us that brand-new
24
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Grand-new
25
00:02:01,821 --> 00:02:07,327
Baby of ours.
26
00:02:07,327 --> 00:02:09,829
Oh, Ricky, that was wonderful.
27
00:02:09,829 --> 00:02:10,830
That's great.
28
00:02:10,830 --> 00:02:12,332
Rick, did you really write that song?
29
00:02:12,832 --> 00:02:13,833
Yeah. I wrote it for Lucy.
30
00:02:13,833 --> 00:02:15,835
I'm going to take it down to the
hospital
31
00:02:15,835 --> 00:02:16,836
and play it for her.
32
00:02:17,337 --> 00:02:18,838
See, I was recording it while I was
singing it.
33
00:02:18,838 --> 00:02:19,839
Oh, isn't that clever?
34
00:02:19,839 --> 00:02:21,341
Where did you get this thing?
35
00:02:21,341 --> 00:02:24,344
Well, Lucy bought it to record the
baby's first words.
36
00:02:24,344 --> 00:02:25,845
How could she buy it if she's in the
hospital?
37
00:02:25,845 --> 00:02:28,314
Well, the lady in the next bed
38
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is a salesman for the tape recorder
company.
39
00:02:30,316 --> 00:02:31,317
ETHEL: What?
40
00:02:31,317 --> 00:02:32,569
Yeah, no kidding.
41
00:02:32,569 --> 00:02:34,571
This lady has a baby every year
44
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We certainly do.
45
00:02:41,361 --> 00:02:43,363
Remember that Handy Dandy Company?
46
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Ay-yi-yi.
47
00:02:44,864 --> 00:02:45,865
Oh, gee, I'll never forget
48
00:02:45,865 --> 00:02:47,867
the expression on Lucy's face that
morning
49
00:02:47,867 --> 00:02:49,536
when I brought the mail up to her.
50
00:02:52,038 --> 00:02:53,540
Good morning, Lucy.
51
00:02:53,540 --> 00:02:55,041
Hi.
52
00:02:55,041 --> 00:02:56,543
What's the matter with you?
53
00:02:56,543 --> 00:02:59,546
Oh, it's that Cuban sorehead I'm
married to.
54
00:02:59,546 --> 00:03:03,049
I just had my weekly lecture about
spending too much money.
55
00:03:03,049 --> 00:03:04,851
What'd he have to say this time?
56
00:03:04,851 --> 00:03:06,636
I couldn't understand most of it.
57
00:03:06,636 --> 00:03:08,972
All I could get was that pesos don't
grow on trees.
58
00:03:10,890 --> 00:03:12,892
Well, it's over for another week.
59
00:03:12,892 --> 00:03:14,394
I brought up your mail.
60
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Good.
61
00:03:15,895 --> 00:03:17,397
What's this?
62
00:03:17,397 --> 00:03:18,898
Oh, no.
63
00:03:18,898 --> 00:03:20,867
Oh, I don't want Ricky to know that I
bought this.
64
00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:23,369
This is a kitchen gadget that I saw
demonstrated on television.
65
00:03:23,369 --> 00:03:24,787
Where can I hide it?
66
00:03:24,787 --> 00:03:26,039
How about the refrigerator?
67
00:03:26,539 --> 00:03:27,540
That's a good idea.
68
00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:29,542
He'd never look in there.
69
00:03:34,714 --> 00:03:37,050
He'll never think of looking in here
in a million years.
70
00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:38,885
(Ethel whispering): No, I guess not.
71
00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:43,223
There, you think that's safe?
72
00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:44,224
Yeah, I think it's safe.
73
00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:45,225
Ricky!
74
00:03:47,727 --> 00:03:49,229
What's in the package you don't want
me to see?
75
00:03:49,729 --> 00:03:50,513
Nothing.
76
00:03:50,513 --> 00:03:51,848
Let me see the package.
Nothing.
77
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Statue-of-liberty play, Ethel.
78
00:03:53,349 --> 00:03:54,601
Okay.
79
00:03:55,735 --> 00:03:57,487
Throw it here, Ethel!
80
00:04:02,275 --> 00:04:04,277
Now, Ricky, give me that thing.
81
00:04:04,277 --> 00:04:05,778
That's mine, Ricky.
82
00:04:05,778 --> 00:04:07,280
Now, wait a minute.
Let me see.
83
00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:09,282
Let's see what's in the package.
84
00:04:09,282 --> 00:04:11,584
Let's see what's in the package.
85
00:04:18,424 --> 00:04:20,260
What is it?
86
00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:22,128
It's a Handy Dandy kitchen helper.
87
00:04:22,128 --> 00:04:23,630
I saw it demonstrated on television.
88
00:04:24,130 --> 00:04:25,131
It's a tremendous bargain
89
00:04:25,131 --> 00:04:27,634
when you think of all the things you
can do with it.
90
00:04:28,134 --> 00:04:29,135
How much is it?
91
00:04:29,135 --> 00:04:31,387
Uh, it rices, dices, and splices.
92
00:04:31,387 --> 00:04:33,690
Lucy, how much?
93
00:04:33,690 --> 00:04:35,191
It cuts down on the time
94
00:04:35,191 --> 00:04:37,193
that a housewife has to spend in the
kitchen.
95
00:04:37,193 --> 00:04:38,194
How much?
96
00:04:38,194 --> 00:04:41,197
About two hours a day.
97
00:04:41,197 --> 00:04:42,699
Lucy...
98
00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:44,701
$7.98.
99
00:04:44,701 --> 00:04:46,986
$7.98!
100
00:04:46,986 --> 00:04:48,871
Yeah, but you'd think it was cheap at
twice the price
101
00:04:49,372 --> 00:04:50,373
if you saw all the things
102
00:04:50,373 --> 00:04:51,374
the man does with it on television.
103
00:04:51,374 --> 00:04:53,376
I watch him every day.
Here, I'll show you.
104
00:04:53,376 --> 00:04:55,378
FRED: Ethel?
Yeah.
105
00:04:55,878 --> 00:04:56,879
You'd better come down and let me see
106
00:04:56,879 --> 00:04:58,631
what you want me to do with that
clothesline.
107
00:04:58,631 --> 00:04:59,916
Just a minute. Come on in.
108
00:04:59,916 --> 00:05:01,217
Lucy's going to give us a
demonstration.
109
00:05:01,217 --> 00:05:02,585
Of what?
110
00:05:02,585 --> 00:05:04,087
A woman's stupidity.
111
00:05:04,087 --> 00:05:06,089
That shouldn't take very long.
112
00:05:06,089 --> 00:05:08,091
All right, now you all stand over
there.
113
00:05:08,091 --> 00:05:10,093
Now, ladies and gentlemen
114
00:05:10,093 --> 00:05:13,513
I am about to demonstrate the Handy
Dandy kitchen helper.
115
00:05:13,513 --> 00:05:15,515
It's something you shouldn't be
without.
116
00:05:15,515 --> 00:05:17,016
It peels and splices, cuts and rices
117
00:05:17,517 --> 00:05:18,818
skins and dices at lowest prices.
118
00:05:18,818 --> 00:05:20,737
Now watch me closely, ladies and
gentlemen.
119
00:05:20,737 --> 00:05:23,740
I will set the dial for French fries,
120
00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:26,242
and then by turning this handle,
121
00:05:26,242 --> 00:05:29,245
I will cut this potato into 16
identical slices.
122
00:05:29,245 --> 00:05:31,247
Here we go.
123
00:05:40,089 --> 00:05:43,710
Oh, I must have had it set for baked
potato.
124
00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:46,462
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
125
00:05:46,963 --> 00:05:48,965
I didn't have it right on French
fries.
126
00:05:49,465 --> 00:05:51,968
That was it.
127
00:05:51,968 --> 00:05:53,469
Here we go.
128
00:06:01,978 --> 00:06:04,147
16 identical slices.
129
00:06:04,147 --> 00:06:07,567
It looked so easy when the man did it
on television.
130
00:06:07,567 --> 00:06:10,069
Oh, honey, maybe you just haven't got
the hang of it yet.
131
00:06:10,069 --> 00:06:11,070
Well, I did what they told me.
132
00:06:11,070 --> 00:06:13,573
Honestly, Fred, why is it that women
133
00:06:13,573 --> 00:06:16,075
have no sales resistance whatsoever?
134
00:06:16,075 --> 00:06:18,077
I don't know.
They'll buy anything.
135
00:06:18,077 --> 00:06:20,079
Lucy doesn't know
136
00:06:20,079 --> 00:06:22,081
the meaning of the word "no."
137
00:06:22,081 --> 00:06:23,583
Ethel doesn't either.
138
00:06:23,583 --> 00:06:26,085
Lucy is a sucker for any sales pitch.
139
00:06:26,085 --> 00:06:27,387
Ethel is too.
140
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:29,722
Lucy and Ethel make me sick.
141
00:06:29,722 --> 00:06:32,725
Now, honey, you, you must admit
142
00:06:32,725 --> 00:06:36,229
that you'll buy anything that comes
along.
143
00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:37,680
I'm no worse than you are.
144
00:06:37,680 --> 00:06:39,682
How about that little purchase you
made
145
00:06:39,682 --> 00:06:40,566
at the war surplus store?
146
00:06:40,566 --> 00:06:42,402
That was a necessary item.
147
00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:44,353
Oh, sure. You never know
148
00:06:44,353 --> 00:06:48,074
when you're going to use a 20-foot
rubber life raft.
149
00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:50,910
What are you laughing at, fatso?
150
00:06:50,910 --> 00:06:52,412
You're just as bad.
151
00:06:52,912 --> 00:06:54,414
What are you talking about?
152
00:06:54,914 --> 00:06:55,915
Now, look, look, look.
153
00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:58,918
The fact is that you've just thrown
eight dollars
154
00:06:58,918 --> 00:07:00,920
down the drain for... this.
155
00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:02,422
$7.95, and it isn't down the drain.
156
00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:03,923
I got it on a three-day free trial.
157
00:07:03,923 --> 00:07:05,425
If I don't want it, I just call them
up
158
00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:06,926
and tell them to take it back.
159
00:07:06,926 --> 00:07:08,428
Well, then call them up.
160
00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:09,762
No.
161
00:07:09,762 --> 00:07:12,598
Lucy, either you're going to call
them up
162
00:07:13,099 --> 00:07:15,601
and tell them to take it back,
163
00:07:16,102 --> 00:07:18,104
or I'm going to use it to demonstrate
how to cut a wife
164
00:07:18,104 --> 00:07:20,640
into 16 identical slices.
165
00:07:22,642 --> 00:07:24,143
Really?
166
00:07:54,674 --> 00:07:55,975
(door buzzer)
167
00:08:03,933 --> 00:08:05,434
Mrs. Ricardo?
168
00:08:05,434 --> 00:08:06,686
Yes?
169
00:08:06,686 --> 00:08:08,571
I'm Harry Martin of the Handy Dandy
Company.
170
00:08:09,071 --> 00:08:10,573
Oh, yes, I've been expecting you.
171
00:08:10,573 --> 00:08:11,574
Won't you come in, please?
172
00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:16,996
Mr. Martin, this Handy Dandy kitchen
helper does not work
173
00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:21,000
and I have it on a three-day free
trial and I don't want it.
174
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:22,785
You'll have to take it back.
Gladly.
175
00:08:22,785 --> 00:08:24,203
It isn't any good, and I'm not going
to pay for it.
176
00:08:24,704 --> 00:08:25,705
Of course you're not.
177
00:08:26,205 --> 00:08:27,206
I see no reason why I should...
178
00:08:27,707 --> 00:08:29,008
What'd you say?
179
00:08:29,008 --> 00:08:31,427
I said of course you're not going to
pay for it.
180
00:08:31,427 --> 00:08:33,429
We don't want you to keep any
merchandise
181
00:08:33,429 --> 00:08:34,430
that you're not happy with.
182
00:08:34,931 --> 00:08:35,431
You don't?
183
00:08:35,932 --> 00:08:36,933
No, of course not,
184
00:08:37,433 --> 00:08:39,435
and you're quite right not to want
that.
185
00:08:39,936 --> 00:08:41,437
Why, that isn't a wise buy at all.
186
00:08:41,437 --> 00:08:42,939
In fact, Mrs. Ricardo,
187
00:08:42,939 --> 00:08:45,358
I wouldn't let you keep this dreadful
little gadget
188
00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:47,360
even if you begged me to.
189
00:08:49,862 --> 00:08:52,365
I'm glad you didn't want that.
190
00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:55,868
That shows me that you're a woman of
judgment and taste.
191
00:08:55,868 --> 00:08:56,869
Really?
192
00:08:57,370 --> 00:08:58,371
Yes, indeed.
193
00:08:58,871 --> 00:09:00,873
When you opened that door, I said to
myself, I said,
194
00:09:00,873 --> 00:09:03,743
"Harry, there stands a woman of
judgment and taste."
195
00:09:05,244 --> 00:09:06,746
Is that so?
196
00:09:06,746 --> 00:09:07,747
Mm-hmm.
197
00:09:07,747 --> 00:09:09,582
Mrs. Ricardo, you have no idea
198
00:09:09,582 --> 00:09:11,584
of the inferior type of humanity
199
00:09:11,584 --> 00:09:14,086
that I have to contend with in my
profession.
200
00:09:14,086 --> 00:09:15,588
Why, you just wouldn't believe
201
00:09:15,588 --> 00:09:17,590
some of the women that I have to talk
to.
202
00:09:18,090 --> 00:09:20,393
They... they have no intelligence at
all.
203
00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:22,178
My goodness.
204
00:09:22,178 --> 00:09:23,179
Mm-hmm.
205
00:09:23,179 --> 00:09:25,648
Why, just this morning, I ran in...
206
00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:27,149
Say, I'll bet I'm keeping you
207
00:09:27,650 --> 00:09:29,151
from something important.
208
00:09:29,151 --> 00:09:30,653
Oh, no, no. Not at all.
209
00:09:30,653 --> 00:09:33,656
Well, I find you're such an easy
person to talk to
210
00:09:33,656 --> 00:09:36,659
and, I don't know, I'd just like to
get this off my chest.
211
00:09:36,659 --> 00:09:38,160
Oh, well, go right ahead.
212
00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:40,162
May I tell you about what happened to
me this morning?
213
00:09:40,162 --> 00:09:41,163
Certainly.
214
00:09:41,163 --> 00:09:42,665
Thank you, thank you.
215
00:09:42,665 --> 00:09:43,666
Now, you just pretend
216
00:09:43,666 --> 00:09:45,668
that you're this woman I'm calling
on, eh?
217
00:09:45,668 --> 00:09:46,669
All right.
218
00:09:46,669 --> 00:09:49,705
Just stay right there.
219
00:09:50,206 --> 00:09:51,707
(door buzzer)
220
00:09:58,681 --> 00:09:59,966
What's that?
221
00:09:59,966 --> 00:10:01,467
I also represent
222
00:10:01,467 --> 00:10:03,269
the Handy Dandy vacuum cleaner.
223
00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:04,637
Oh.
224
00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:09,642
So this morning when the woman opened
the door
225
00:10:09,642 --> 00:10:11,644
and I threw the dirt on the floor,
226
00:10:11,644 --> 00:10:12,645
just like I did now
227
00:10:12,645 --> 00:10:16,148
and then I handed her a ten-dollar
bill,
228
00:10:16,148 --> 00:10:17,650
just like this, you see,
229
00:10:18,150 --> 00:10:19,652
and then I said to her
230
00:10:19,652 --> 00:10:22,655
I said, "Madam, that ten-dollar bill,
231
00:10:22,655 --> 00:10:25,658
"that sawbuck, that one-tenth of a
C-note
232
00:10:25,658 --> 00:10:29,161
"is all yours if this Handy Dandy
vacuum cleaner
233
00:10:29,161 --> 00:10:31,163
"fails to clean up all this dirt
234
00:10:31,163 --> 00:10:33,165
in less than two minutes flat."
235
00:10:33,666 --> 00:10:34,667
I said that to her, see?
236
00:10:35,167 --> 00:10:36,669
And then I, uh...
I took
237
00:10:36,669 --> 00:10:39,672
my Handy Dandy vacuum cleaner
238
00:10:39,672 --> 00:10:42,174
and I... I plugged it in...
like this,
239
00:10:42,174 --> 00:10:44,677
and then I...
went right to work.
240
00:10:48,180 --> 00:10:49,815
That's funny.
241
00:10:49,815 --> 00:10:52,652
Oh, this plug is controlled by this
switch.
242
00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:54,153
So's that light, see?
243
00:10:54,153 --> 00:10:55,438
Oh, I see.
244
00:10:58,274 --> 00:10:59,775
Go.
245
00:11:15,041 --> 00:11:16,542
45 seconds.
246
00:11:16,542 --> 00:11:19,045
My!
247
00:11:19,045 --> 00:11:20,046
That was fast.
248
00:11:20,546 --> 00:11:22,348
Yes, it was, wasn't it?
249
00:11:22,348 --> 00:11:25,685
But do you know that woman was angry
with me?
250
00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:27,103
About what?
251
00:11:27,103 --> 00:11:28,604
Because I threw dirt on her floor.
252
00:11:28,604 --> 00:11:30,106
But you cleaned it right up
253
00:11:30,106 --> 00:11:32,391
with your wonderful Handy Dandy
vacuum cleaner.
254
00:11:32,391 --> 00:11:35,561
Yes, yes, of course I did, but she
was still angry
255
00:11:35,561 --> 00:11:38,481
and do you know what she did next?
256
00:11:38,481 --> 00:11:39,982
What?
257
00:11:39,982 --> 00:11:41,484
Why, when I told her
258
00:11:41,484 --> 00:11:43,986
that this Handy Dandy vacuum cleaner
259
00:11:44,487 --> 00:11:45,988
and the attachments
260
00:11:45,988 --> 00:11:48,491
that it sold for $8.95 for the works,
261
00:11:48,491 --> 00:11:51,961
why, that shortsighted, narrow-vision
female
262
00:11:51,961 --> 00:11:55,798
did not even have the intelligence to
buy one.
263
00:11:55,798 --> 00:11:58,250
What a dope.
264
00:12:00,803 --> 00:12:01,804
Well, it shows you
265
00:12:02,304 --> 00:12:04,306
what you've got to put up with.
266
00:12:04,306 --> 00:12:07,676
I'm glad you let me get that off my
chest.
267
00:12:12,181 --> 00:12:17,520
Mr. Martin...
did you say, uh, 8.95?
268
00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:18,854
That's right.
269
00:12:18,854 --> 00:12:21,774
And, uh, now I think I'll have to
go...
270
00:12:21,774 --> 00:12:24,276
Mr. Martin, aren't you going to give
me
271
00:12:24,276 --> 00:12:25,778
a chance to buy one of those?
272
00:12:25,778 --> 00:12:27,279
Oh, Mrs. Ricardo,
273
00:12:27,279 --> 00:12:29,782
when I told you about this other
woman,
274
00:12:29,782 --> 00:12:31,784
I didn't mean to get you to buy...
275
00:12:31,784 --> 00:12:34,787
Oh, but Mr. Martin, our sweeper is so
outdated.
276
00:12:34,787 --> 00:12:36,789
It's old, it doesn't work right or
anything
277
00:12:37,289 --> 00:12:38,791
and we really do need one of those.
278
00:12:38,791 --> 00:12:42,294
Well, as a matter of fact, I...
279
00:12:42,294 --> 00:12:43,796
I was bringing this little gem home
280
00:12:44,296 --> 00:12:45,798
as a present for my wife, but...
281
00:12:45,798 --> 00:12:47,800
Oh...
282
00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:49,301
Well, I don't know.
283
00:12:49,301 --> 00:12:51,137
I suppose if you really need one.
284
00:12:51,137 --> 00:12:53,606
Oh, we do, we do.
285
00:12:55,558 --> 00:12:57,059
You talked me into it.
286
00:12:57,560 --> 00:12:59,061
Oh, thank you, Mr. Martin.
287
00:12:59,061 --> 00:13:00,563
Thank you.
288
00:13:04,567 --> 00:13:06,068
Uh... five,
289
00:13:06,068 --> 00:13:07,787
six,
290
00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:09,789
seven,
291
00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:11,290
eight...
292
00:13:11,290 --> 00:13:12,792
Mm-hmm.
293
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,794
Let's see... 95.
Is that right?
294
00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:16,295
That's the price...
295
00:13:16,295 --> 00:13:20,299
for the works.
296
00:13:20,299 --> 00:13:22,134
Now that you own the works
297
00:13:22,134 --> 00:13:24,553
don't you think that you would like
298
00:13:24,553 --> 00:13:26,555
this nice gray metal cover
299
00:13:26,555 --> 00:13:30,559
to keep it from getting dirty?
300
00:13:30,559 --> 00:13:32,561
But didn't I just buy the...?
301
00:13:32,561 --> 00:13:35,064
You bought the most important part--
302
00:13:35,064 --> 00:13:37,066
yeah, the... the works.
303
00:13:39,568 --> 00:13:40,402
Now, there are
304
00:13:40,402 --> 00:13:42,354
a few more little accessories,
305
00:13:42,354 --> 00:13:45,357
like, like the hose, and the electric
cord
306
00:13:45,357 --> 00:13:47,359
and the attachments there.
307
00:13:47,359 --> 00:13:48,861
Gee, that must run into quite a bit
of money.
308
00:13:48,861 --> 00:13:50,362
No, no, no, not at all.
309
00:13:50,362 --> 00:13:52,364
This, this electric cord, for
instance,
310
00:13:52,364 --> 00:13:53,866
is only five dollars.
311
00:13:53,866 --> 00:13:55,284
Five dollars?!
312
00:13:55,784 --> 00:13:57,286
Well, it's extra long.
313
00:13:57,286 --> 00:13:58,671
Oh.
314
00:13:58,671 --> 00:14:01,173
And, uh...
the attachments, uh...
315
00:14:01,173 --> 00:14:02,675
are $2.50.
316
00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:04,176
$2.50?
317
00:14:04,176 --> 00:14:05,678
Apiece.
Oh.
318
00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:08,013
And then there's a utility lamp...
319
00:14:08,013 --> 00:14:09,014
Oh?
320
00:14:09,515 --> 00:14:11,016
there's a carrying case for the
cleaner...
321
00:14:11,016 --> 00:14:12,017
Oh?
322
00:14:12,017 --> 00:14:13,018
carrying case for the attachments...
323
00:14:13,018 --> 00:14:14,019
Oh?
324
00:14:14,019 --> 00:14:15,421
there's a switch that turns it on and
off...
325
00:14:31,437 --> 00:14:32,938
Hi, Lucy.
326
00:14:32,938 --> 00:14:35,441
Did the man take back the kitchen
helper?
327
00:14:35,441 --> 00:14:37,943
Did you have any trouble with him?
328
00:14:37,943 --> 00:14:39,862
What's the matter with...?
329
00:14:39,862 --> 00:14:42,865
Lucy, did you buy all this stuff from
him?
330
00:14:44,783 --> 00:14:46,785
Oh, Lucy, I thought you
331
00:14:46,785 --> 00:14:49,788
were going to have sales resistance
from now on.
332
00:14:52,124 --> 00:14:54,093
What happened?
333
00:14:54,093 --> 00:14:55,094
I don't know.
334
00:14:55,594 --> 00:14:57,596
Right after he took back the kitchen
helper,
335
00:14:57,596 --> 00:15:00,099
everything went black.
336
00:15:00,099 --> 00:15:01,100
Oh?
337
00:15:01,100 --> 00:15:03,102
When the lights came on again,
338
00:15:03,102 --> 00:15:06,605
I was short $102.40.
339
00:15:06,605 --> 00:15:08,974
$102.40 for just this?
340
00:15:09,441 --> 00:15:13,445
No. For a bonus, he threw in the
kitchen helper.
341
00:15:13,946 --> 00:15:15,948
That was nice of him.
342
00:15:15,948 --> 00:15:17,950
For a dollar and a half.
343
00:15:17,950 --> 00:15:19,451
What a salesman he must be!
344
00:15:19,952 --> 00:15:22,454
Yeah, but this is really a wonderful
machine
345
00:15:22,454 --> 00:15:24,456
and it just works beautifully.
346
00:15:24,456 --> 00:15:26,959
Turn on the switch and I'll show you.
347
00:15:27,293 --> 00:15:28,627
Okay.
348
00:15:30,129 --> 00:15:31,630
(whirring)
349
00:15:36,135 --> 00:15:38,637
What's this one for, Lucy?
350
00:15:39,138 --> 00:15:40,139
Lucy?
351
00:15:43,225 --> 00:15:44,727
(whirring stops)
352
00:15:44,727 --> 00:15:46,729
Try this one, Lucy.
353
00:15:46,729 --> 00:15:48,597
RICKY: Ay, yi, yi, yi...
354
00:15:48,597 --> 00:15:49,565
That's Ricky! That's Ricky!
355
00:15:50,065 --> 00:15:51,066
I don't want him to see this stuff.
356
00:15:51,066 --> 00:15:52,067
Help me hide it.
357
00:15:52,067 --> 00:15:53,519
Hide it?
Yeah.
358
00:15:53,519 --> 00:15:54,520
Oh.
He can't see this.
359
00:15:55,020 --> 00:15:57,523
Aren't you going to tell him you
bought all this?
360
00:15:57,523 --> 00:16:00,526
Someday, yes, when we're old and
grey, but not now.
361
00:16:00,526 --> 00:16:02,027
Where will I put it?
362
00:16:02,027 --> 00:16:03,028
In the closet.
363
00:16:03,028 --> 00:16:04,029
In the closet?
364
00:16:04,029 --> 00:16:07,533
Ay, yi, yi, yi
365
00:16:07,533 --> 00:16:11,537
Canta y no llores
366
00:16:11,537 --> 00:16:16,041
Porque cantando se alegran, cielito
lin...
367
00:16:16,041 --> 00:16:17,042
Hello.
368
00:16:17,042 --> 00:16:18,544
Oh, look. Here's Ricky.
369
00:16:18,544 --> 00:16:19,545
Hi, Ricky.
370
00:16:19,545 --> 00:16:20,546
Hello, Ricky.
371
00:16:20,546 --> 00:16:23,048
Good-bye, Ricky.
372
00:16:23,048 --> 00:16:25,050
(door closing)
373
00:16:25,050 --> 00:16:26,552
Well, she's in a hurry.
374
00:16:26,552 --> 00:16:27,553
Yeah.
375
00:16:27,553 --> 00:16:29,555
Oh, I'll hang it up for you, dear.
376
00:16:29,555 --> 00:16:30,556
Oh, thank you.
377
00:16:38,063 --> 00:16:40,366
What did you do today?
378
00:16:40,366 --> 00:16:41,700
Why do you ask that?
379
00:16:45,487 --> 00:16:46,989
I always ask that.
380
00:16:46,989 --> 00:16:48,407
Oh, yeah.
381
00:16:48,407 --> 00:16:49,908
That's right.
382
00:16:49,908 --> 00:16:52,628
Uh, nothing much.
383
00:16:53,879 --> 00:16:55,664
It's dark in here.
384
00:16:57,166 --> 00:16:58,667
Oh...
385
00:17:02,171 --> 00:17:04,640
(vacuum cleaner whirring)
386
00:17:10,679 --> 00:17:11,980
What's that?
387
00:17:11,980 --> 00:17:12,848
What's what?
388
00:17:12,848 --> 00:17:14,233
That.
389
00:17:14,233 --> 00:17:15,234
What?
390
00:17:15,234 --> 00:17:16,235
That.
391
00:17:16,735 --> 00:17:18,237
Oh, that. That's me.
392
00:17:18,237 --> 00:17:21,073
(imitating motor whirring)
393
00:17:21,073 --> 00:17:23,075
What?!
394
00:17:23,075 --> 00:17:24,576
My stomach's growling.
395
00:17:24,576 --> 00:17:26,578
It's been growling all day.
396
00:17:29,531 --> 00:17:31,033
(whirring)
397
00:17:31,533 --> 00:17:33,035
Now, Lucy, you know darn well
398
00:17:33,035 --> 00:17:34,369
you're not making that noise.
399
00:17:34,369 --> 00:17:35,838
It sounds like a vacuum cleaner.
400
00:17:35,838 --> 00:17:36,839
Where's it coming from?
401
00:17:36,839 --> 00:17:37,840
Oh, that sound.
402
00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:39,341
Oh, Ethel must be cleaning her rugs.
403
00:17:39,341 --> 00:17:41,343
All right, Ethel, break it up down
there!
404
00:17:41,343 --> 00:17:42,211
That's all.
405
00:17:42,211 --> 00:17:44,713
There. I guess she's finished.
406
00:17:44,713 --> 00:17:46,215
(whirring)
407
00:17:46,215 --> 00:17:48,717
Whoops. Not quite.
408
00:17:53,722 --> 00:17:54,973
Ricky?
409
00:17:54,973 --> 00:17:55,808
What?
410
00:17:56,308 --> 00:17:57,309
Kiss me?
411
00:17:57,309 --> 00:17:59,812
After I see what's at the end of this
cord.
412
00:18:00,312 --> 00:18:01,313
All right?
413
00:18:01,814 --> 00:18:05,317
You'd better kiss me now if you're
ever going to.
414
00:18:14,743 --> 00:18:16,745
(whirring stops)
415
00:18:19,748 --> 00:18:22,000
Lucy, what is this?
416
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:25,053
Oh, darn. You found your Christmas
present.
417
00:18:31,760 --> 00:18:34,263
"The Handy Dandy vacuum cle... "
418
00:18:34,263 --> 00:18:37,766
Oh, no. Lucy, you didn't!
419
00:18:37,766 --> 00:18:40,486
Yeah, I sort of did, I guess.
420
00:18:40,486 --> 00:18:41,770
Okay, come on.
421
00:18:41,770 --> 00:18:44,773
Call the man.
Tell him to take it back.
422
00:18:44,773 --> 00:18:45,774
No.
423
00:18:45,774 --> 00:18:46,775
Come on.
424
00:18:46,775 --> 00:18:47,659
You'll be sorry.
Why?
425
00:18:47,659 --> 00:18:49,495
'Cause he'll probably sell me
426
00:18:49,495 --> 00:18:50,829
a Handy Dandy bulldozer.
427
00:18:51,330 --> 00:18:52,331
Never mind.
428
00:18:52,831 --> 00:18:54,833
But Ricky, Ricky, really, he does
sell other things,
429
00:18:55,334 --> 00:18:56,168
and you know how I am.
430
00:18:57,586 --> 00:19:00,422
Yes. I know only too well.
431
00:19:00,422 --> 00:19:02,341
Now, look, you're going to call him
back
432
00:19:02,341 --> 00:19:04,343
and you're going to get rid of that
vacuum cleaner
433
00:19:04,343 --> 00:19:06,845
and you're going to get your money
back, understand?
434
00:19:06,845 --> 00:19:08,213
(piano keys banging)
Oh, yes.
435
00:19:12,801 --> 00:19:14,520
Lucy?
436
00:19:19,308 --> 00:19:21,693
I'm taking it back this afternoon!
437
00:19:23,645 --> 00:19:25,147
Oh...
438
00:19:27,149 --> 00:19:29,201
I thought you were Ricky.
439
00:19:29,201 --> 00:19:32,070
Oh. Are you really going to take it
back?
440
00:19:32,070 --> 00:19:36,074
Yeah. I was just having one last
sweep for the road.
441
00:19:36,074 --> 00:19:38,577
Oh, gee, Ethel, I don't dare call Mr.
Martin.
442
00:19:38,577 --> 00:19:40,579
I'm absolute putty in his hands.
443
00:19:41,079 --> 00:19:42,080
Obviously.
444
00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:44,082
Why did I buy that thing anyway?
445
00:19:44,082 --> 00:19:44,917
Why did you?
446
00:19:44,917 --> 00:19:46,885
I couldn't resist it.
447
00:19:46,885 --> 00:19:48,887
Hey... if I couldn't resist it
448
00:19:49,388 --> 00:19:51,890
maybe someone else won't be able to.
449
00:19:51,890 --> 00:19:54,676
You mean you're going try to sell it
to somebody else?
450
00:19:54,676 --> 00:19:56,595
Sure, I could sell it.
451
00:19:56,595 --> 00:19:59,398
I remember everything Mr. Martin said
and did.
452
00:19:59,398 --> 00:20:01,066
Don't look at me.
453
00:20:01,066 --> 00:20:02,935
Oh, I'm going to start on the next
block
454
00:20:03,435 --> 00:20:05,938
and I'm going to keep going until I
unload this monster.
455
00:20:08,941 --> 00:20:10,943
(door buzzer)
456
00:20:15,614 --> 00:20:16,915
Good afternoon, madam.
457
00:20:16,915 --> 00:20:19,001
Are you the lady of the house?
458
00:20:19,001 --> 00:20:20,419
Yeah.
459
00:20:22,170 --> 00:20:24,423
Hey! What are you doing?
460
00:20:24,423 --> 00:20:26,758
Madam, that ten-dollar bill, that
sawbuck,
461
00:20:27,259 --> 00:20:29,761
that one-tenth of a C-note is all
yours
462
00:20:29,761 --> 00:20:31,763
if my Handy Dandy vacuum cleaner
463
00:20:31,763 --> 00:20:35,434
fails to clean up that mess in two
minutes flat.
464
00:20:38,470 --> 00:20:42,774
You mean this ten dollars is mine if
you don't pick up
465
00:20:42,774 --> 00:20:45,560
all that dirt in two minutes flat?
466
00:20:45,560 --> 00:20:47,062
That's right.
467
00:20:47,062 --> 00:20:48,563
Let's see, now.
468
00:20:48,563 --> 00:20:50,365
Here we are.
469
00:20:53,785 --> 00:20:56,288
(clicking)
470
00:20:58,624 --> 00:21:00,042
That's funny.
471
00:21:00,042 --> 00:21:02,327
I can't imagine why it doesn't work.
472
00:21:02,327 --> 00:21:05,213
I can. The electricity is turned off.
473
00:21:05,213 --> 00:21:06,498
What?
474
00:21:06,498 --> 00:21:08,333
We didn't pay our bill.
475
00:21:08,333 --> 00:21:09,751
Oh, no.
476
00:21:09,751 --> 00:21:12,254
Why didn't you tell me?
477
00:21:12,254 --> 00:21:14,890
You didn't ask me.
478
00:21:17,976 --> 00:21:19,478
Oh, dear.
479
00:21:19,478 --> 00:21:21,480
I'm sorry I made such a mess on your
floor.
480
00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:23,315
I don't know how you're going to
clean it up.
481
00:21:23,315 --> 00:21:25,567
I do.
482
00:21:25,567 --> 00:21:28,020
Ew...
483
00:21:40,165 --> 00:21:41,667
Where can she be, Ethel?
484
00:21:41,667 --> 00:21:42,668
It's so late.
485
00:21:43,168 --> 00:21:44,169
I don't know.
Maybe she had to call
486
00:21:44,169 --> 00:21:46,171
on more houses than she thought she
would.
487
00:21:46,171 --> 00:21:47,673
Well, there's nothing to worry about.
488
00:21:47,673 --> 00:21:49,174
She's prob...
Shh! I hear somebody.
489
00:21:53,712 --> 00:21:55,213
Lucy!
490
00:21:55,213 --> 00:21:57,716
What happened?
491
00:22:01,636 --> 00:22:03,638
You'll be glad to know, Ricky,
492
00:22:03,638 --> 00:22:06,141
that there are plenty of women in
town
493
00:22:06,141 --> 00:22:07,726
with sales resistance.
494
00:22:07,726 --> 00:22:09,478
Couldn't you sell the vacuum cleaner?
495
00:22:11,113 --> 00:22:12,814
Oh, you poor little thing.
496
00:22:12,814 --> 00:22:14,316
Come on, honey, and sit down.
497
00:22:14,316 --> 00:22:15,317
Here. Sit there.
498
00:22:15,817 --> 00:22:17,319
I'll take your shoes off.
499
00:22:17,319 --> 00:22:18,320
That will help.
500
00:22:18,320 --> 00:22:20,205
Lucy, where's your other shoe?
501
00:22:20,205 --> 00:22:23,375
Stuck in the door at 310 East 69th
Street.
502
00:22:24,826 --> 00:22:27,212
Oh, dear.
503
00:22:27,212 --> 00:22:30,165
I was kicked downstairs, bitten by a
dog
504
00:22:30,165 --> 00:22:31,666
and chased three blocks by a
policeman
505
00:22:31,666 --> 00:22:33,502
that wanted to see my peddler's
license.
506
00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:37,339
One more hour, they'd have reported
507
00:22:37,339 --> 00:22:39,341
the death of another salesman.
508
00:22:39,341 --> 00:22:40,342
Now, honey, I'm sorry
509
00:22:40,842 --> 00:22:42,844
that you had to go through all of
that
510
00:22:42,844 --> 00:22:44,763
but you know it's your own fault.
511
00:22:44,763 --> 00:22:47,766
Why didn't you call Mr. Martin like I
told you to do?
512
00:22:47,766 --> 00:22:49,101
Oh, sure.
513
00:22:49,101 --> 00:22:51,069
Well, I'll call him.
514
00:22:51,069 --> 00:22:52,070
What's his number?
515
00:22:52,070 --> 00:22:53,071
It's right there on the pad.
516
00:22:53,071 --> 00:22:54,573
Okay.
517
00:22:54,573 --> 00:22:57,075
Oh, Fred, I don't know what these
women would do
518
00:22:57,075 --> 00:22:58,577
without us men getting them out
519
00:22:58,577 --> 00:23:00,579
of all these messes that they get
into.
520
00:23:00,579 --> 00:23:02,581
I don't either.
521
00:23:02,581 --> 00:23:04,833
Hello, Mr. Martin.
522
00:23:04,833 --> 00:23:06,118
This is Ricky Ricardo.
523
00:23:06,118 --> 00:23:09,621
Look. You sold my wife a vacuum
cleaner yesterday.
524
00:23:09,621 --> 00:23:11,123
Yes. That's right.
525
00:23:11,123 --> 00:23:14,126
Well, uh, we decided not to keep it
after all.
526
00:23:14,126 --> 00:23:16,628
So we'd like you to come back tonight
527
00:23:16,628 --> 00:23:17,629
and take it back.
528
00:23:17,629 --> 00:23:20,632
8:00? Yes, that will be fine.
529
00:23:20,632 --> 00:23:22,634
Thank you very much. Good-bye.
530
00:23:22,634 --> 00:23:24,136
There. You see how simple it was?
531
00:23:24,136 --> 00:23:26,104
Ricky, you shouldn't have him come
over here.
532
00:23:26,104 --> 00:23:27,806
You don't know what he's like.
533
00:23:27,806 --> 00:23:29,307
He'll say that he'll take it back,
534
00:23:29,307 --> 00:23:30,692
but he'll sell you something else.
535
00:23:30,692 --> 00:23:32,144
Oh, nonsense.
536
00:23:32,644 --> 00:23:33,645
Well, I'm not going to be here.
537
00:23:33,645 --> 00:23:34,646
I'm going to a movie.
538
00:23:35,147 --> 00:23:36,148
Come on, Ethel, let's get out of
here.
539
00:23:36,648 --> 00:23:37,949
Okay.
I'm going to get cleaned up.
540
00:23:37,949 --> 00:23:40,619
Have you ever seen anything like
that?
541
00:23:40,619 --> 00:23:42,370
Never in my life.
542
00:23:42,370 --> 00:23:43,655
You take my advice.
543
00:23:43,655 --> 00:23:45,157
You put that vacuum cleaner out in
the hall,
544
00:23:45,657 --> 00:23:47,159
lock the door and sit here in the
dark.
545
00:23:55,500 --> 00:23:57,002
Hi.
546
00:23:57,502 --> 00:23:58,503
Oh, hi. How was the movie?
547
00:23:58,503 --> 00:24:00,005
Fine.
548
00:24:00,505 --> 00:24:02,390
Did, uh... Mr.
Martin get here?
549
00:24:02,390 --> 00:24:03,892
Yeah. He was here.
550
00:24:03,892 --> 00:24:05,677
Did he take back the vacuum cleaner?
551
00:24:05,677 --> 00:24:06,595
Of course he did.
552
00:24:07,095 --> 00:24:08,597
He had no trouble at all.
553
00:24:08,597 --> 00:24:10,315
Oh?
554
00:24:10,315 --> 00:24:13,151
As a matter of fact, he paid me a
great compliment.
555
00:24:13,151 --> 00:24:16,154
He said I was a man of great judgment
and real taste.
556
00:24:16,154 --> 00:24:18,406
(knowingly): Oh.
557
00:24:18,406 --> 00:24:22,194
And not only that, but he said he
didn't blame me in the least
558
00:24:22,194 --> 00:24:24,996
for not buying such an inferior
product.
559
00:24:24,996 --> 00:24:26,281
Uh-oh.
560
00:24:26,281 --> 00:24:28,083
What happened then?
561
00:24:28,083 --> 00:24:29,451
Nothing.
562
00:24:29,451 --> 00:24:30,452
Come on.
563
00:24:30,952 --> 00:24:31,953
Nothing.
564
00:24:31,953 --> 00:24:33,839
Come on.
Where is it?
565
00:24:43,849 --> 00:24:45,133
Ethel, guess what?
566
00:24:45,133 --> 00:24:48,136
We have a new Handy Dandy
refrigerator.
567
00:24:48,136 --> 00:24:50,138
Oh, Ricky, I'm glad
568
00:24:50,138 --> 00:24:54,192
you don't have any sales resistance
either.
569
00:24:54,192 --> 00:24:56,978
ETHEL: Aw, Lucy.
570
00:24:56,978 --> 00:24:58,280
You get all the breaks.
571
00:24:58,280 --> 00:25:00,565
Nobody could sell ol' Fred anything.
572
00:25:00,565 --> 00:25:02,484
Oh, no?
573
00:25:02,484 --> 00:25:03,702
Oh?
574
00:25:03,702 --> 00:25:05,904
Fred?
575
00:25:06,788 --> 00:25:08,290
Come on down and see
576
00:25:08,290 --> 00:25:10,292
your Handy Dandy washing machine.
577
00:25:22,504 --> 00:25:24,356
("I Love Lucy" theme song playing)
578
00:25:24,356 --> 00:25:28,360
Captioned by Media Access Group at
WGBH access.wgbh.org
579
00:26:20,879 --> 00:26:23,882
ANNOUNCER: "The Baby Song", written
by Desi Arnaz and Eddie Maxwell,
580
00:26:24,382 --> 00:26:26,885
has just been recorded on a Columbia
record,
581
00:26:26,885 --> 00:26:29,487
with the hit song "I Love Lucy" on
the reverse side.
582
00:26:31,456 --> 00:26:34,542
ANNOUNCER 2: This is the CBS
Television Network.
39021
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