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1
00:01:09,740 --> 00:01:12,380
Dear Mr Rogers,
I do hope you can help me.
2
00:01:12,460 --> 00:01:16,693
I'm desperate.
I need fifteen hundred pounds.
3
00:01:16,780 --> 00:01:20,011
We're only a small establishment,
madam.
4
00:01:20,100 --> 00:01:23,809
- I can offer you five.
- But it's worth £5,000!
5
00:01:23,900 --> 00:01:28,178
A thousand is the most
I can possibly go to, Mrs Travers.
6
00:01:29,100 --> 00:01:31,853
Oh, all right.
7
00:01:45,460 --> 00:01:51,411
♪ Pale hands I loved
Beside the Shalimar
8
00:01:52,220 --> 00:01:54,097
♪ Where are you...?
9
00:01:59,420 --> 00:02:00,899
Jeeves?
10
00:02:00,980 --> 00:02:04,132
- Good evening, sir.
- Ah, welcome back, Jeeves.
11
00:02:04,220 --> 00:02:09,215
- Did you have a good holiday?
- Thank you, sir, yes, most refreshing.
12
00:02:10,140 --> 00:02:13,610
There's a letter for you, sir.
Delivered by hand.
13
00:02:13,700 --> 00:02:16,135
Really? Open it up. Let's hear the worst.
14
00:02:16,220 --> 00:02:18,416
Herne Bay as exciting as ever?
15
00:02:18,500 --> 00:02:22,016
Relaxing is more the word
that springs to mind, sir.
16
00:02:22,100 --> 00:02:25,058
The letter is from a Mr Percy Gorringe.
17
00:02:25,140 --> 00:02:28,132
Gorringe? Never heard of him.
What does he say?
18
00:02:28,220 --> 00:02:32,293
Omitting the extraneous matter
and concentrating on essentials, sir,
19
00:02:32,380 --> 00:02:36,658
Mr Gorringe wishes to borrow £1,000
from you.
20
00:02:36,740 --> 00:02:39,493
£1,000? I don't even know him.
21
00:02:39,580 --> 00:02:43,574
He mentions that he is the stepson
of Mr LG Trotter, sir,
22
00:02:43,660 --> 00:02:45,810
with whom Mrs Travers is acquainted.
23
00:02:45,900 --> 00:02:50,576
Aunt Dahlia has asked me to put the
nosebag on LG Trotter this very night.
24
00:02:50,660 --> 00:02:54,449
Dash it, Jeeves, once you allow yourself
to be touched by stepsons,
25
00:02:54,540 --> 00:02:56,497
where are you?
26
00:02:56,580 --> 00:03:00,335
It appears not so much to be a loan
as a speculation, sir.
27
00:03:00,420 --> 00:03:03,378
He wishes to give you
the opportunity of investing
28
00:03:03,460 --> 00:03:09,012
in his dramatisation of
Lady Florence Craye's novel Spindrift.
29
00:03:09,100 --> 00:03:11,330
- Would you back a play, Jeeves?
- No, sir.
30
00:03:11,420 --> 00:03:14,299
Hmm. Keep the money
in the old oak chest, do you think?
31
00:03:14,380 --> 00:03:18,260
That is certainly the course of action
that I should advocate, sir.
32
00:03:18,340 --> 00:03:24,291
Jeeves, while I'm dressing, why don't
you mix me a strengthening cocktail?
33
00:03:24,380 --> 00:03:26,337
Very good, sir.
34
00:03:39,940 --> 00:03:41,897
What-ho, Jeeves.
35
00:03:47,140 --> 00:03:50,371
Something is arresting your attention.
A smut on my nose?
36
00:03:50,460 --> 00:03:52,337
No, sir, on your upper lip.
37
00:03:52,420 --> 00:03:55,412
I thought a caterpillar
had lost its bearings.
38
00:03:55,500 --> 00:03:57,810
You're alluding to the moustache.
39
00:03:57,900 --> 00:04:00,779
As you see, I've not been idle
while you were away.
40
00:04:00,860 --> 00:04:04,455
- Rather natty, don't you think?
- No, sir, I do not.
41
00:04:04,540 --> 00:04:07,100
I had hoped for your sympathy
and cooperation.
42
00:04:07,180 --> 00:04:10,457
I've gone to considerable trouble
growing this moustache.
43
00:04:10,540 --> 00:04:14,898
I do not propose to hew it off
because certain prejudiced parties
44
00:04:14,980 --> 00:04:18,052
don't know a good thing
when they see it. J'y suis, j'y reste.
45
00:04:25,660 --> 00:04:27,810
Mr Cheesewright, sir.
46
00:04:27,900 --> 00:04:30,733
I thought as much.
Swilling cocktails, eh?
47
00:04:30,820 --> 00:04:32,811
I fail to understand you, Officer.
48
00:04:32,900 --> 00:04:36,655
I'm not an officer any more.
I've left the police force.
49
00:04:36,740 --> 00:04:41,371
This is the hour when an English
gentleman partakes of a short one.
50
00:04:41,460 --> 00:04:43,531
- Will you join me?
- No, I won't!
51
00:04:43,620 --> 00:04:46,294
And I've come here to have
a serious talk with you.
52
00:04:46,380 --> 00:04:49,736
What do you suppose those things
are doing to your eye?
53
00:04:49,820 --> 00:04:53,336
For your information, one does not
administer alcohol by the eye.
54
00:04:53,420 --> 00:04:56,299
Or even by the ear.
The mouth is the correct orifice.
55
00:04:56,380 --> 00:05:00,499
Not if one's meant to be in training
for the Drones darts tournament.
56
00:05:00,580 --> 00:05:03,777
Ah, you've drawn me
in the sweepstake. Your money's safe.
57
00:05:03,860 --> 00:05:06,579
The Wooster form
is as devastating as ever.
58
00:05:06,660 --> 00:05:10,619
We want to win this year, Wooster,
not another dratted tie.
59
00:05:10,700 --> 00:05:13,340
I happened to look in at the Drones
this afternoon.
60
00:05:13,420 --> 00:05:15,536
Freddie Widgeon was at the dartboard,
61
00:05:15,620 --> 00:05:19,693
stunning everyone with a performance
that took the breath away.
62
00:05:19,780 --> 00:05:20,975
Cha!
63
00:05:21,060 --> 00:05:22,459
Eh?
64
00:05:22,540 --> 00:05:27,137
I said, cha... scornfully, with ref to
F Widgeon. I know his form backwards.
65
00:05:27,220 --> 00:05:30,019
He's knocked off smoking, you know.
66
00:05:30,100 --> 00:05:33,331
- No...
- He takes a cold bath every morning.
67
00:05:34,620 --> 00:05:36,816
He's forgotten where the hot tap is.
68
00:05:36,900 --> 00:05:39,460
- He never goes...
- Good night, Stilton.
69
00:05:39,540 --> 00:05:42,214
- You'll want to run along.
- No, I won't.
70
00:05:42,300 --> 00:05:45,418
Florence is meeting me here.
We are dining with my uncle.
71
00:05:45,500 --> 00:05:47,616
Oh, really. Well, well. Splendid.
72
00:05:47,700 --> 00:05:49,737
What do you mean, splendid?
73
00:05:49,820 --> 00:05:51,777
I should like her opinion of this.
74
00:05:51,860 --> 00:05:53,851
I could tell you that.
75
00:05:53,940 --> 00:05:56,534
- Revolting.
- You had a moustache at Oxford.
76
00:05:56,620 --> 00:05:59,180
You looked like a man
peering over a privet hedge.
77
00:05:59,260 --> 00:06:01,217
Exactly!
78
00:06:01,300 --> 00:06:04,452
- Lady Florence Craye, sir.
- Hello, D'Arcy. Hello, Bertie...
79
00:06:04,540 --> 00:06:06,497
Bertie!
80
00:06:08,260 --> 00:06:10,854
A moustache? It's lovely.
81
00:06:12,980 --> 00:06:15,415
Thank you, Florence.
How is Spindrift going?
82
00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:18,060
Splendidly.
It's being made into a play.
83
00:06:18,140 --> 00:06:19,539
Yes, I'd heard.
84
00:06:19,620 --> 00:06:23,693
Percy Gorringe did the dramatisation.
Did a splendid job of it.
85
00:06:23,780 --> 00:06:26,215
- Bit of a hitch at the moment, though.
- Oh?
86
00:06:26,300 --> 00:06:30,259
One of the backers has pulled out.
We need another £1,000.
87
00:06:30,340 --> 00:06:31,569
Ha!
88
00:06:32,740 --> 00:06:35,732
Percy assures me
that he can raise the money.
89
00:06:35,820 --> 00:06:38,494
That louse! He couldn't raise tuppence.
90
00:06:38,580 --> 00:06:42,938
I will not have you call Percy a louse.
He's very attractive and very clever.
91
00:06:43,020 --> 00:06:46,490
- Attractive? Who does he attract?
- Never mind whom he attracts.
92
00:06:46,580 --> 00:06:50,858
- Name three people he ever attracted.
- Oh! D'Arcy, please!
93
00:06:50,940 --> 00:06:52,977
Are we going to dinner or not?
94
00:06:58,860 --> 00:07:01,534
Goodbye, Bertie. Love the moustache.
95
00:07:06,860 --> 00:07:09,420
- Are you Mr Wooster?
- That's right, yes.
96
00:07:09,500 --> 00:07:12,618
- I am Mrs Trotter... of Liverpool.
- How do you do?
97
00:07:12,700 --> 00:07:17,058
This is Mr Trotter.
And our stepson, Mr Gorringe.
98
00:07:19,140 --> 00:07:21,734
Mr Trotter has many business interests.
99
00:07:21,820 --> 00:07:24,494
- That's why we're so late.
- That's all right.
100
00:07:24,580 --> 00:07:27,379
He was talking to your Auntie Dahlia
on the telephone.
101
00:07:27,460 --> 00:07:30,816
About this magazine of hers
she wants Mr Trotter to buy.
102
00:07:30,900 --> 00:07:32,698
Milady's Boudoir?
103
00:07:32,780 --> 00:07:35,533
- Some such name...
- I didn't know she was selling.
104
00:07:35,620 --> 00:07:40,649
No, Trotter! Let the waiter
put the serviette on your knee.
105
00:07:40,740 --> 00:07:43,459
- Waiter!
- Did you get my letter?
106
00:07:43,540 --> 00:07:46,578
Percy, my dear, would you check
the clasp of my pearls?
107
00:07:46,660 --> 00:07:48,617
It feels a little insecure.
108
00:07:48,700 --> 00:07:52,773
One wouldn't like to scatter such
valuable pearls all over a restaurant.
109
00:07:55,580 --> 00:07:57,537
No. Seems fine.
110
00:07:59,900 --> 00:08:03,018
- Is this the best table?
- Oh, I think...
111
00:08:03,100 --> 00:08:05,410
Mr Trotter always has the best tables.
112
00:08:05,500 --> 00:08:08,174
In Liverpool and Manchester!
113
00:08:08,260 --> 00:08:10,615
- I'm sure that's true.
- I want to ask...
114
00:08:10,700 --> 00:08:13,533
Right, well, I'll get a menu,
then, shall I?
115
00:08:18,540 --> 00:08:20,497
Hello.
116
00:08:24,340 --> 00:08:26,775
Brandy, please, George. A large one.
117
00:08:38,420 --> 00:08:42,573
If only I could make up my mind
whether to break your foul neck or not!
118
00:08:43,260 --> 00:08:45,171
Break my foul neck? Why?
119
00:08:45,260 --> 00:08:49,697
After dining with my uncle,
I saw Florence home in a cab.
120
00:08:49,780 --> 00:08:54,695
She was raving about that moustache
of yours. it made me sick to listen to.
121
00:08:54,780 --> 00:08:57,294
- Very upsetting...
- Shut up!
122
00:08:57,380 --> 00:09:01,214
Then she announced that she wished me
to grow a moustache too.
123
00:09:01,300 --> 00:09:03,689
"A nice fool I'd look with a moustache,"
I said.
124
00:09:03,780 --> 00:09:05,896
"You look one without one," she said.
125
00:09:05,980 --> 00:09:08,893
"Is that so?" I said. "Yes,
it is," she said.
126
00:09:08,980 --> 00:09:13,019
Then she gave me back her ring
and said the engagement was off.
127
00:09:13,100 --> 00:09:16,980
- You'd planned this, hadn't you?
- How could I possibly plan it?
128
00:09:17,060 --> 00:09:20,098
Your cunning fiend's brain spotted
what would occur
129
00:09:20,180 --> 00:09:22,854
if you grew a moustache
and let Florence see it.
130
00:09:22,940 --> 00:09:27,013
Certainly not. As a matter of fact,
I haven't got a cunning fiend's brain.
131
00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:29,774
That's exactly what you'd say
if you did have.
132
00:09:29,860 --> 00:09:31,817
No, it isn't.
133
00:09:33,860 --> 00:09:35,931
Well...
134
00:09:36,020 --> 00:09:38,455
if I find my suspicions are correct...
135
00:09:39,580 --> 00:09:41,617
I shall know what to do about it.
136
00:09:41,700 --> 00:09:45,614
I shall break your rotten spine
in three places.
137
00:09:51,180 --> 00:09:53,251
No! No, please!
138
00:09:53,340 --> 00:09:55,536
Further discussion is useless.
139
00:09:55,620 --> 00:09:58,055
You must accept
that my decision is final.
140
00:09:58,900 --> 00:10:01,210
- Good night.
- Who was that, Jeeves?
141
00:10:01,300 --> 00:10:03,860
A tiff with one of the lads
at the Ganymede Club?
142
00:10:03,940 --> 00:10:08,650
No, sir, that was Mr Percy Gorringe
who telephoned just before you entered.
143
00:10:08,740 --> 00:10:10,811
Affecting to be yourself, sir,
144
00:10:10,900 --> 00:10:14,780
I assured him his request to borrow
£1,000 could not be entertained.
145
00:10:14,860 --> 00:10:18,615
- I thought it would save you discomfort.
- Dashed decent of you.
146
00:10:18,700 --> 00:10:21,692
I had to steer him away
from the subject all through dinner.
147
00:10:21,780 --> 00:10:24,772
- Did you enjoy yourself at the club?
- Very much so, sir.
148
00:10:24,860 --> 00:10:29,218
More than I did at mine. After an
unspeakable dinner with the Trotter clan,
149
00:10:29,300 --> 00:10:32,930
I repaired thither for a restorative brandy
and ran into Cheesewright,
150
00:10:33,020 --> 00:10:36,138
who informed me Lady Florence
had broken off the engagement
151
00:10:36,220 --> 00:10:38,939
and that it was all the fault
of my moustache.
152
00:10:39,020 --> 00:10:41,296
I think I'll go to bed
with an improving book.
153
00:10:41,380 --> 00:10:44,372
Lady Florence also telephoned
before you came in, sir.
154
00:10:44,460 --> 00:10:47,771
She was desirous that you should
take her to a nightclub.
155
00:10:47,860 --> 00:10:49,771
- What, tonight?
- Yes, sir.
156
00:10:49,860 --> 00:10:52,613
She specified
a low, garish establishment
157
00:10:52,700 --> 00:10:55,294
with the purposes of research
for her next novel.
158
00:10:55,380 --> 00:10:58,418
No fear, Jeeves. What do you think
Stilton would say
159
00:10:58,500 --> 00:11:02,130
if I took his disengaged fiancee
to a low, garish nightclub?
160
00:11:02,220 --> 00:11:04,689
I imagine he might be
somewhat dismayed, sir.
161
00:11:04,780 --> 00:11:07,613
But, sir, it would afford an opportunity
162
00:11:07,700 --> 00:11:12,058
to persuade Lady Florence against
any abjuration of Mr Cheesewright.
163
00:11:12,140 --> 00:11:13,938
I see what you mean.
164
00:11:14,020 --> 00:11:17,615
The man of the world
experienced in affairs of the heart,
165
00:11:17,700 --> 00:11:20,294
counselling against a rash decision.
166
00:11:20,380 --> 00:11:23,259
Precisely, sir. As long
as Lady Florence is unattached,
167
00:11:23,340 --> 00:11:26,810
there is the danger of her turning
her attentions towards you again.
168
00:11:26,900 --> 00:11:30,370
She becomes what is known
in nautical circles as a loose cannon.
169
00:11:30,460 --> 00:11:35,375
There is much in what you say, Jeeves.
Book us a table at the Mottled Oyster.
170
00:11:39,020 --> 00:11:42,092
Sorry to drag you out, Bertie,
only it had to be tonight.
171
00:11:42,180 --> 00:11:44,615
- D'Arcy Cheesewright had a headache.
- Well...
172
00:11:44,700 --> 00:11:47,897
I'm going to Worcestershire
tomorrow to stay with your aunt.
173
00:11:47,980 --> 00:11:50,574
Aunt Dahlia?
Oh, you'll like Brinkley Court.
174
00:11:50,660 --> 00:11:53,573
Fresh air, gravel soil...
Company's own water.
175
00:11:53,660 --> 00:11:56,652
- Daphne Dolores Moorhead is there.
- Daphne...?
176
00:11:56,740 --> 00:12:01,530
Dolores Morehead, the novelist.
She's doing a serial for Milady's Boudoir.
177
00:12:01,620 --> 00:12:03,930
How your aunt can afford it,
I can't imagine.
178
00:12:04,020 --> 00:12:06,330
Daphne is frightfully expensive.
179
00:12:06,420 --> 00:12:08,331
The old mag must be doing well.
180
00:12:08,420 --> 00:12:11,253
I heard tonight
Aunt Dahlia was trying to sell it.
181
00:12:18,380 --> 00:12:20,337
This is wonderful!
182
00:12:21,140 --> 00:12:25,020
And what horrible people!
Are all nightclubs like this?
183
00:12:25,100 --> 00:12:27,455
This is about average
for unlicensed places.
184
00:12:27,540 --> 00:12:30,498
- Unlicensed?
- You said somewhere low and garish.
185
00:12:30,580 --> 00:12:32,537
Oh, I'm not complaining.
186
00:12:32,620 --> 00:12:36,329
This is just the sort of place
I pictured Rollo coming to.
187
00:12:36,420 --> 00:12:38,855
- Rollo?
- The hero of my novel.
188
00:12:38,940 --> 00:12:43,491
Rollo Beaminster. He's in a wild mood,
reckless and desperate.
189
00:12:43,580 --> 00:12:48,336
He's lost the girl he loves and he comes
to this low nightclub, trying to forget.
190
00:12:48,420 --> 00:12:52,493
But it's useless. He looks round
at the glitter and garishness
191
00:12:52,580 --> 00:12:54,457
and he feels how hollow it all is.
192
00:12:54,540 --> 00:12:55,735
Yes...
193
00:12:55,820 --> 00:12:59,017
- I saw Stilton at the Drones tonight.
- Oh, yes?
194
00:12:59,100 --> 00:13:01,853
Yes, he was in a wild mood.
195
00:13:01,940 --> 00:13:04,136
He looked
about the Drones' smoking room.
196
00:13:04,220 --> 00:13:07,770
I could see he was feeling
what a hollow smoking room it was.
197
00:13:07,860 --> 00:13:09,817
Bertie...
198
00:13:09,900 --> 00:13:11,811
Hello.
199
00:13:11,900 --> 00:13:17,976
Bertie, all this nonsense you're talking,
trying to reconcile me with D'Arcy,
200
00:13:18,060 --> 00:13:20,574
I think it's rather wonderful of you.
201
00:13:20,660 --> 00:13:22,936
You want to marry me yourself,
don't you?
202
00:13:24,380 --> 00:13:26,530
Rather... Of course.
203
00:13:26,620 --> 00:13:29,738
I mean to say, who wouldn't?
Good Lord.
204
00:13:32,580 --> 00:13:36,813
All right. Everybody keep your seat.
These premises are being raided...
205
00:13:36,900 --> 00:13:38,937
- Bertie!
- No need to get the wheeze-up.
206
00:13:39,020 --> 00:13:41,694
- Just the usual thing.
- Won't they arrest us?
207
00:13:41,780 --> 00:13:44,010
No, no! No danger of that whatsoever.
208
00:13:44,100 --> 00:13:47,650
- How do you know?
- All of this is old stuff to me.
209
00:13:47,740 --> 00:13:51,415
We give our names and addresses,
exercising a certain latitude.
210
00:13:51,500 --> 00:13:56,529
I, for example, generally call myself
Ephraim Gadsby of Streatham Common.
211
00:13:56,620 --> 00:13:58,418
Don't know why. Just a whim.
212
00:13:58,500 --> 00:14:01,094
Formalities concluded,
we shall be free to depart
213
00:14:01,180 --> 00:14:04,536
leaving the proprietor
to face the awful majesty of the law.
214
00:14:04,620 --> 00:14:07,499
- I'm sure that's not what happens.
- It is.
215
00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:10,732
- Unless they changed the rules.
- You have to appear in court.
216
00:14:10,820 --> 00:14:13,460
- No, no, no.
- Well, I'm not going to risk it.
217
00:14:13,540 --> 00:14:15,497
Good night.
218
00:14:15,580 --> 00:14:17,378
Oi! You!
219
00:14:22,900 --> 00:14:25,369
Right, you're nicked.
220
00:14:27,340 --> 00:14:32,653
The constable says you
deliberately tripped him... Mr Gadsby.
221
00:14:32,740 --> 00:14:37,018
No, Your Honour, I had a touch of cramp.
You know how you want to stretch?
222
00:14:37,100 --> 00:14:39,933
I'm strongly inclined to give you
a good, long stretch.
223
00:14:42,060 --> 00:14:44,176
- Very good, Your Honour.
- Silence!
224
00:14:44,260 --> 00:14:47,855
But in consideration of your youth,
I will exercise clemency.
225
00:14:47,940 --> 00:14:51,456
- Oh, fine.
- Precisely! Pay £10. Next!
226
00:14:56,900 --> 00:15:00,370
Did you know that magistrates
are really professional comedians?
227
00:15:00,460 --> 00:15:03,213
No, sir, that fact
had not been drawn to my attention.
228
00:15:03,300 --> 00:15:07,339
One gag after another, the whole court
roaring with laughter at my expense.
229
00:15:07,420 --> 00:15:10,458
A most galling experience, sir.
230
00:15:10,540 --> 00:15:13,293
Mrs Travers telephoned an hour ago.
231
00:15:13,380 --> 00:15:16,657
She was most desirous that you call
round to Eaton Square.
232
00:15:16,740 --> 00:15:21,496
That's probably that magistrate
wanting to sign me up as a straight man.
233
00:15:22,700 --> 00:15:25,294
- Bertie!
- Aren't you going to Brinkley?
234
00:15:25,380 --> 00:15:29,089
I'm on my way to the station.
I thought I'd see how you got on.
235
00:15:29,180 --> 00:15:33,014
- Constabulary scooped me in.
- You said they wouldn't arrest anybody.
236
00:15:33,100 --> 00:15:36,650
They did. I had a testing time
with a Vinton Street magistrate.
237
00:15:36,740 --> 00:15:39,380
- Did you say Vinton Street?
- That's right.
238
00:15:39,460 --> 00:15:43,738
- The magistrate there is D'Arcy's uncle!
- The one you dined with last night?
239
00:15:43,820 --> 00:15:47,211
Imagine if I'd had to appear
before him in the dock.
240
00:15:47,300 --> 00:15:51,009
- D'Arcy would break the engagement.
- I thought you'd done that.
241
00:15:51,100 --> 00:15:53,535
He telephoned me and climbed down.
242
00:15:53,620 --> 00:15:55,850
He's started to grow a moustache.
243
00:15:55,940 --> 00:15:59,695
Mind, don't breathe a word to him
about me being at that place.
244
00:15:59,780 --> 00:16:02,738
- D'Arcy is so jealous.
- Mum's the word.
245
00:16:11,780 --> 00:16:13,737
Uncle?
246
00:16:14,620 --> 00:16:16,577
D'Arcy! Good of you to come.
247
00:16:17,260 --> 00:16:21,697
How are you? Jolly nice dinner
you gave us last night.
248
00:16:22,780 --> 00:16:24,851
What I called you about was...
249
00:16:27,580 --> 00:16:32,017
I called about a fellow I had in front of
me you were at Oxford with. Wooster.
250
00:16:32,100 --> 00:16:36,697
He gave a false name but I remembered
him from a scrape over a blancmange.
251
00:16:36,780 --> 00:16:39,932
- Bertie Wooster. Oh, yes.
- Not a friend of yours?
252
00:16:40,020 --> 00:16:42,694
One has to be careful
who one keeps up with.
253
00:16:42,780 --> 00:16:44,498
Good Lord, no!
254
00:16:49,660 --> 00:16:52,732
- What was the charge?
- Nasty business in a nightclub.
255
00:16:52,820 --> 00:16:55,255
Some girl. An assault on a police officer.
256
00:16:55,340 --> 00:16:58,890
Really? And this happened last night?
257
00:16:58,980 --> 00:17:00,379
Mmm.
258
00:17:00,460 --> 00:17:02,417
Tell me about it.
259
00:17:19,940 --> 00:17:23,410
Bertie! You unspeakable one!
You very nearly missed me.
260
00:17:23,500 --> 00:17:26,652
- I want you to come to Brinkley.
- Can't be done.
261
00:17:26,740 --> 00:17:30,449
What do you mean? Have you been
asked to form a government?
262
00:17:30,540 --> 00:17:33,578
You've got to come and be charming
to the Trotters.
263
00:17:33,660 --> 00:17:36,539
I took them to dinner,
done my bit for Aunt and Country.
264
00:17:36,620 --> 00:17:41,535
But more is needed. I want Trotter
to take Milady's Boudoir off my hands.
265
00:17:41,620 --> 00:17:43,258
You've loved it like a son.
266
00:17:43,340 --> 00:17:47,618
Bertie, if magazines had ears, Milady's
Boudoir would be up to them in debt.
267
00:17:47,700 --> 00:17:50,579
I've got nasty little men in bowler hats
at my door.
268
00:17:50,660 --> 00:17:55,734
I can't come to Brinkley. if I'm seen near
Florence Craye, I'll get my spine broken.
269
00:17:55,820 --> 00:17:59,290
You're so selfish. You don't know
how important this is.
270
00:17:59,380 --> 00:18:02,611
You don't know how important
my spine is. I'm attached to it.
271
00:18:02,700 --> 00:18:04,099
More's the pity.
272
00:18:04,180 --> 00:18:09,254
If your uncle finds out about this,
an aunt's curse be upon you!
273
00:18:15,700 --> 00:18:18,772
Good afternoon, sir.
Mr Cheesewright is here to see you.
274
00:18:20,180 --> 00:18:21,693
Oh, no.
275
00:18:21,780 --> 00:18:24,738
Where were you last night,
you blighted louse?
276
00:18:24,820 --> 00:18:26,652
Last night? Let me see.
277
00:18:26,740 --> 00:18:30,096
You were in a low nightclub
with Florence Craye, my fiancee.
278
00:18:30,180 --> 00:18:33,491
This morning you were in the dock
at Vinton Street court.
279
00:18:33,580 --> 00:18:36,299
- No, no, no.
- Don't say "No, no, no."
280
00:18:36,380 --> 00:18:40,851
My uncle told me. He's the magistrate
there and remembers you from Oxford.
281
00:18:40,940 --> 00:18:43,375
London's full of chaps who look like me.
282
00:18:43,460 --> 00:18:45,736
Ephraim Gadsby is my absolute double.
283
00:18:45,820 --> 00:18:51,133
He said you were arrested for tripping up
a policeman while he was chasing a girl.
284
00:18:51,220 --> 00:18:55,100
Personally, I'd attach little credence
to the word of a policeman
285
00:18:55,180 --> 00:18:59,219
who spends his time chasing girls
in nightclubs like the...
286
00:19:00,860 --> 00:19:03,739
- What did you say its name was?
- I didn't.
287
00:19:03,820 --> 00:19:06,812
- It was the Mottled Oyster.
- Ah, the... yes.
288
00:19:06,900 --> 00:19:10,256
I've heard of it.
Not a very nice place, I understand.
289
00:19:10,340 --> 00:19:13,810
Would an intellectual girl
like Florence go to a place like that? No!
290
00:19:13,900 --> 00:19:16,619
Jeeves, when I came home,
do you recall my saying
291
00:19:16,700 --> 00:19:18,771
I was going to bed
with an improving book?
292
00:19:18,860 --> 00:19:21,090
- Certainly, sir.
- Thank you, Jeeves.
293
00:19:21,180 --> 00:19:25,333
I rest my case. if that doesn't leave me
without a stain on my character
294
00:19:25,420 --> 00:19:29,254
then I don't know what it does
leave me without a stain on.
295
00:19:29,340 --> 00:19:32,219
If I find you haven't been telling me
the truth,
296
00:19:32,300 --> 00:19:35,258
I shall break your spine in four places.
297
00:19:35,340 --> 00:19:37,650
- You said three last night.
- Four now.
298
00:19:37,740 --> 00:19:41,096
Luckily, Florence is
out of your slimy reach for a bit.
299
00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:43,774
She is staying with your aunt
in Worcestershire.
300
00:19:43,860 --> 00:19:46,932
- Are you going too?
- No, I'm not. Talk sense, man.
301
00:19:47,020 --> 00:19:50,297
I'm growing a moustache.
I'm not going out while it's sprouting.
302
00:19:50,380 --> 00:19:53,771
Don't forget what I said
about your spine.
303
00:20:00,580 --> 00:20:04,733
With Stilton Cheesewright still raking
around for evidence of my perfidy,
304
00:20:04,820 --> 00:20:06,333
if perfidy's the word,
305
00:20:06,420 --> 00:20:09,731
then Brinkley Court,
even with the Trotters, seems a safer bet.
306
00:20:09,820 --> 00:20:11,891
It seems, sir, from your point of view,
307
00:20:11,980 --> 00:20:16,133
Mr Cheesewright incorporates
three highly dangerous characteristics.
308
00:20:16,220 --> 00:20:19,531
Great physical strength,
a certain slowness of wit,
309
00:20:19,620 --> 00:20:21,691
and an unreliable temper.
310
00:20:21,780 --> 00:20:23,532
You've said a mouthful, Jeeves.
311
00:20:35,300 --> 00:20:38,850
- Good afternoon, sir.
- Good afternoon. How are you?
312
00:20:46,580 --> 00:20:48,537
Ah, what-ho, Trotters all.
313
00:20:52,140 --> 00:20:55,974
Go away!
314
00:20:56,060 --> 00:20:58,017
What-ho, Aunt Dahlia.
315
00:20:59,100 --> 00:21:01,979
Too late, Bertie. I'm beyond salvation.
316
00:21:02,060 --> 00:21:04,256
- Mr Burwash is coming.
- Burwash?
317
00:21:04,340 --> 00:21:06,900
- Going to look at my necklace.
- Your necklace?
318
00:21:06,980 --> 00:21:11,019
Please, Bertie, I'm not in the mood
for your parrot imitations.
319
00:21:11,100 --> 00:21:14,331
Uncle Tom always suspected
that Aspinall's overcharged him
320
00:21:14,420 --> 00:21:16,377
for my pearl necklace.
321
00:21:16,460 --> 00:21:19,452
The Burwash creature
is some sort of pearl expert.
322
00:21:19,540 --> 00:21:23,818
- That's good, isn't it?
- It's not good, you blasted lamebrain!
323
00:21:23,900 --> 00:21:27,939
That's an imitation.
I pawned the real one.
324
00:21:28,020 --> 00:21:31,376
Oh, Lord, what did you do that for?
325
00:21:31,460 --> 00:21:35,419
I pawned the pearls because I needed
the money to salt the mine.
326
00:21:35,500 --> 00:21:37,855
The first I've heard of any mines.
327
00:21:38,820 --> 00:21:42,654
Salting mines is
a recognised business procedure.
328
00:21:42,740 --> 00:21:45,493
If you've got a dud mine
you want to sell to a mug,
329
00:21:45,580 --> 00:21:48,493
you sprinkle an ounce or two
of gold over it.
330
00:21:49,380 --> 00:21:54,329
I used the money to buy a serial
from Daphne Dolores Morehead.
331
00:21:54,420 --> 00:21:57,412
She's arriving tomorrow.
LG Trotter will meet her,
332
00:21:57,500 --> 00:21:59,491
hear she's writing the serial and think
333
00:21:59,580 --> 00:22:03,938
"Gosh! Daphne Dolores Morehead!
Milady's Boudoir must be hot stuff!"
334
00:22:04,020 --> 00:22:05,977
Go away!
335
00:22:09,340 --> 00:22:13,777
- Have you seen Florence?
- No, we have not seen Florence!
336
00:22:13,860 --> 00:22:17,251
- I thought she might be with you.
- Well, she isn't.
337
00:22:17,340 --> 00:22:20,492
If you find her,
that telegram arrived for her.
338
00:22:21,940 --> 00:22:23,772
All right.
339
00:22:27,740 --> 00:22:29,253
God!
340
00:22:29,340 --> 00:22:34,540
He looks like a dying duck in a storm.
He's madly in love with Florence.
341
00:22:34,620 --> 00:22:38,215
Try and cheer him up a bit.
He casts such a pall.
342
00:22:38,300 --> 00:22:40,894
No fear, he tried to touch me for £1,000.
343
00:22:40,980 --> 00:22:43,210
I turned him down... like a bedspread.
344
00:22:43,300 --> 00:22:46,611
You're safe. Florence tells me
he raised the money elsewhere.
345
00:22:46,700 --> 00:22:48,691
Really?
346
00:22:49,580 --> 00:22:52,857
Joy! Joy! Joy in the morning!
347
00:22:53,820 --> 00:22:58,371
Joy! Joy! Joy! Joy! Joy!
Joy in the afternoon!
348
00:22:59,460 --> 00:23:03,579
- And when it's time for supper...
- What-ho, Percy.
349
00:23:03,660 --> 00:23:06,652
- Hello, Wooster. Taking a stroll?
- Absolutely.
350
00:23:06,740 --> 00:23:09,493
- You seem cheerful.
- That was a new poem.
351
00:23:09,580 --> 00:23:12,572
Has your aunt told you
that I love Florence Craye?
352
00:23:12,660 --> 00:23:14,458
Yes, she did mention it.
353
00:23:14,540 --> 00:23:18,170
She asked me why I was walking around
like a dead codfish.
354
00:23:18,260 --> 00:23:22,219
I was forced to confess that I loved
Florence with a consuming passion
355
00:23:22,300 --> 00:23:26,134
and had discovered that she was
engaged to the oaf Cheesewright.
356
00:23:26,220 --> 00:23:28,336
- You seem more cheerful now.
- Oh, I am!
357
00:23:28,420 --> 00:23:30,218
I am!
358
00:23:30,300 --> 00:23:33,133
You know that telegram
your aunt gave me for Florence?
359
00:23:33,220 --> 00:23:37,134
It was from Cheesewright.
Breaking the engagement!
360
00:23:38,580 --> 00:23:39,934
What?
361
00:23:43,820 --> 00:23:46,096
What's all this I hear
from Percy Gorringe?
362
00:23:46,180 --> 00:23:48,854
- What?
- Stilton's broken off the engagement!
363
00:23:48,940 --> 00:23:50,897
He has, and I'm delighted.
364
00:23:50,980 --> 00:23:55,929
D'Arcy Cheesewright is
a low, mean, creeping, crawling,
365
00:23:56,020 --> 00:23:58,853
slinking, spying, despicable worm!
366
00:23:58,940 --> 00:24:00,578
Do you know what he did?
367
00:24:00,660 --> 00:24:03,618
He sneaked to that nightclub,
bribed some people
368
00:24:03,700 --> 00:24:06,852
and found that a table was reserved
that night in your name.
369
00:24:06,940 --> 00:24:11,093
This confirmed his degraded suspicion
that we'd been there together.
370
00:24:11,180 --> 00:24:16,459
Yes... He didn't hint in the telegram
at any plans he had with regard to me?
371
00:24:16,540 --> 00:24:19,851
He said he was going to break
your spine in five places.
372
00:24:19,940 --> 00:24:21,499
Five places?
373
00:24:33,820 --> 00:24:36,892
Good evening, Mr Cheesewright.
Nice to see you, sir.
374
00:24:36,980 --> 00:24:39,335
Hello, Seppings.
375
00:24:39,420 --> 00:24:42,538
Mrs Travers did not warn me
of your arrival, sir.
376
00:24:42,620 --> 00:24:44,611
No, she thought I wasn't coming.
377
00:24:44,700 --> 00:24:48,216
- I had a change of plan.
- Very good, sir.
378
00:24:48,300 --> 00:24:50,337
The other guests are at dinner, sir.
379
00:24:50,420 --> 00:24:53,253
I'm sure Mrs Travers
would be glad if you joined them.
380
00:24:53,340 --> 00:24:55,377
I had something on the way, thanks.
381
00:24:55,460 --> 00:24:57,656
I'll go to my room and get an early night.
382
00:24:57,740 --> 00:24:59,697
As you wish, sir.
383
00:25:00,860 --> 00:25:05,013
It's a scandal, of course, that Mr Trotter
has never been recognised.
384
00:25:05,100 --> 00:25:07,216
I recognised him straightaway.
385
00:25:07,300 --> 00:25:10,691
No... In the honours list, Mr Wooster.
386
00:25:10,780 --> 00:25:13,090
You only get tuft-hunters in that
nowadays.
387
00:25:13,180 --> 00:25:16,969
Trouble today is that everybody's out
for what they can get.
388
00:25:17,060 --> 00:25:20,894
Mr Trotter gives an incredulous amount
to charity, though.
389
00:25:20,980 --> 00:25:25,258
Blasted tradesmen are as bad. Look
at those pearls I bought Dahlia last year.
390
00:25:25,340 --> 00:25:28,696
I'm not going to tell you how much
Aspinall's charged me for them.
391
00:25:28,780 --> 00:25:31,135
Oh, pearls are such a price these days.
392
00:25:31,220 --> 00:25:34,770
Even Mr Trotter mentioned it
when he bought me these.
393
00:25:34,860 --> 00:25:38,774
I'm getting one of the world's top
pearl men to look at them tomorrow.
394
00:25:38,860 --> 00:25:40,817
Then we'll see.
395
00:25:43,340 --> 00:25:47,379
It would appear there is only one
solution to the problem, Mrs Travers.
396
00:25:47,460 --> 00:25:52,614
If, as Mr Wooster informs me, madam,
the jewellery expert is with us tomorrow,
397
00:25:52,700 --> 00:25:56,898
it would seem that some sort of
a burglarious entry is required,
398
00:25:56,980 --> 00:25:59,733
as a result of which
the necklace is abstracted.
399
00:25:59,820 --> 00:26:04,451
If the gentleman coming to examine
the necklace finds there is no necklace...
400
00:26:04,540 --> 00:26:07,134
You don't have to explain in words
of one syllable!
401
00:26:07,220 --> 00:26:09,416
Even Mr Wooster could understand that!
402
00:26:09,500 --> 00:26:13,858
Jeeves, this really saddens me.
Has that mighty brain come unglued?
403
00:26:13,940 --> 00:26:16,978
Where will Mrs Travers find
a burglar at this time of night?
404
00:26:17,060 --> 00:26:19,017
The Army & Navy Stores?
405
00:26:19,100 --> 00:26:22,252
I was thinking you might be persuaded
to undertake the task.
406
00:26:22,340 --> 00:26:26,220
- Me, Jeeves?
- Gosh! Jeeves! What a wonderful idea!
407
00:26:26,300 --> 00:26:28,098
Hold on a minute.
408
00:26:28,180 --> 00:26:30,774
I'll put the pearls on my dressing table,
Bertie.
409
00:26:30,860 --> 00:26:34,535
All you need do is get a ladder,
prop it against the windowsill.
410
00:26:34,620 --> 00:26:38,853
- My room's the end one on the right.
- No! No, Aunt Dahlia. No!
411
00:26:39,980 --> 00:26:41,937
No!
412
00:26:42,820 --> 00:26:44,458
No...
413
00:27:11,420 --> 00:27:13,377
It's all right, it's only me.
414
00:27:33,740 --> 00:27:36,653
Oh, Bertie! You shouldn't have.
415
00:27:38,780 --> 00:27:40,737
Erm... Hello, Florence.
416
00:27:40,820 --> 00:27:47,658
Sorry about this. I went for a breather
in the garden. Found I'd been locked out.
417
00:27:47,740 --> 00:27:51,335
So I thought my best plan
would be not to rouse the house...
418
00:27:51,420 --> 00:27:54,856
Oh, Bertie! What a romantic you are.
419
00:27:54,940 --> 00:27:56,339
Eh?
420
00:27:57,060 --> 00:28:00,496
Isn't this just the sort of thing
that you would do?
421
00:28:00,580 --> 00:28:05,177
I told you I was no longer engaged
to D'Arcy and you just had to fly to me.
422
00:28:05,260 --> 00:28:08,651
Oh, good lord, no.
As I said, I went for a breather...
423
00:28:08,740 --> 00:28:11,459
You don't think I'm angry, do you?
Of course I'm not.
424
00:28:11,540 --> 00:28:15,932
I'm very touched.
Your Aunt Agatha was quite wrong.
425
00:28:16,020 --> 00:28:18,216
What's Aunt Agatha got to do with it?
426
00:28:18,300 --> 00:28:21,497
She keeps insisting
you're a vapid, irreflective nitwit
427
00:28:21,580 --> 00:28:24,333
who ought to be put
into some good mental home.
428
00:28:24,420 --> 00:28:28,050
- Well, of all the nerve!
- I know that I can mould you, Bertie.
429
00:28:28,140 --> 00:28:30,336
Instead of leaving you in the darkness
430
00:28:30,420 --> 00:28:33,890
to do nothing but smoke and drink
in that awful Drones Club...
431
00:28:33,980 --> 00:28:36,096
Who's there?
432
00:28:36,180 --> 00:28:38,137
Me, D'Arcy.
433
00:28:39,620 --> 00:28:41,258
Let me in.
434
00:28:42,340 --> 00:28:46,732
D'Arcy, I didn't know that you were here.
What do you want?
435
00:28:46,820 --> 00:28:50,211
- I want to return your letters.
- Leave them on the mat.
436
00:28:51,540 --> 00:28:54,259
I want to see you.
437
00:28:54,340 --> 00:28:57,412
- It's gone.
- I must see you.
438
00:28:57,500 --> 00:28:59,969
At this time of night? How ridiculous!
439
00:29:00,060 --> 00:29:03,815
- I'm coming in now.
- You're not coming in here.
440
00:29:03,900 --> 00:29:06,255
That is where you make your mistake.
441
00:29:07,940 --> 00:29:09,897
- I'm coming in now.
- No!
442
00:29:14,660 --> 00:29:16,856
Here are your letters.
443
00:29:16,940 --> 00:29:18,692
Thank you.
444
00:29:18,780 --> 00:29:21,977
You notice I have shaved off
my moustache?
445
00:29:22,060 --> 00:29:23,494
No.
446
00:29:23,580 --> 00:29:25,298
Well, I have.
447
00:29:25,380 --> 00:29:29,931
It was my first action on finding out that
you'd been sneaking off to nightclubs
448
00:29:30,020 --> 00:29:31,897
with the lout Wooster.
449
00:29:31,980 --> 00:29:36,338
I'd be grateful if you would take
that pumpkin head of yours out of here!
450
00:29:36,420 --> 00:29:38,980
Do you think I can't see
through your subterfuge?
451
00:29:39,060 --> 00:29:42,496
"How can I get rid of Cheesewright?"
you said to yourself.
452
00:29:42,580 --> 00:29:45,936
"I have it!" you said,
"I'll tell him to grow a moustache.
453
00:29:46,020 --> 00:29:48,978
"And he'll say, 'Like hell
I'll grow a bally moustache.'
454
00:29:49,060 --> 00:29:53,338
"I'll say, 'Oh, you won't, won't you?
All right, all is over between us.'
455
00:29:53,420 --> 00:29:54,979
"That'll fix it."
456
00:29:55,060 --> 00:29:57,415
The door is just behind you,
Mr Cheesewright.
457
00:29:57,500 --> 00:30:01,175
- It opens if you turn the handle.
- Never mind about the door.
458
00:30:01,260 --> 00:30:04,059
I'm talking about you
and the leper Wooster.
459
00:30:04,140 --> 00:30:07,735
I suppose you will now
hitch yourself to him. Am I right?
460
00:30:07,820 --> 00:30:10,699
Absolutely right!
461
00:30:10,780 --> 00:30:13,898
Is your intention to marry
that human gumboil?
462
00:30:14,740 --> 00:30:17,254
It is.
463
00:30:17,340 --> 00:30:19,297
Who is that?
464
00:30:22,020 --> 00:30:25,251
- Oh, hello, Stilton!
- Come out of there, serpent.
465
00:30:25,340 --> 00:30:27,490
You are, doubtless, surprised.
466
00:30:27,580 --> 00:30:31,778
I will not sully Lady Florence's room
with violence, Wooster.
467
00:30:32,660 --> 00:30:35,334
You will find me waiting in the corridor.
468
00:30:45,500 --> 00:30:47,457
You can't stay here all night.
469
00:30:56,620 --> 00:30:59,533
- So...
- One moment, Cheesewright.
470
00:30:59,620 --> 00:31:02,260
- What?
- Before you do anything you may regret,
471
00:31:02,340 --> 00:31:05,731
remember you have drawn me
in the Drones Club darts sweep.
472
00:31:05,820 --> 00:31:07,219
What?
473
00:31:07,300 --> 00:31:11,373
In what condition shall I be to win
the darts and put £60 in your pocket
474
00:31:11,460 --> 00:31:15,340
if you pull the strong-arm stuff
which you are contemplating?
475
00:31:15,420 --> 00:31:17,855
- What?
- Good night, Stilton.
476
00:31:28,140 --> 00:31:30,734
Bertie, do you expect me
to wait up all night
477
00:31:30,820 --> 00:31:33,289
for you to accomplish
a simple, easy task
478
00:31:33,380 --> 00:31:36,338
that a child of six could've done
in a quarter of an hour?
479
00:31:36,420 --> 00:31:41,494
Before I answer, old kinswoman, why did
you tell me your room was on the right?
480
00:31:41,580 --> 00:31:43,935
- It is on the right.
- Pardon me...
481
00:31:44,020 --> 00:31:46,933
- Looking from the house.
- Looking from the house?
482
00:31:47,820 --> 00:31:50,573
Don't tell me
you climbed into the wrong bedroom.
483
00:31:50,660 --> 00:31:53,573
It could scarcely have been wronger.
Florence Craye's.
484
00:31:53,660 --> 00:31:56,539
- You'll have to marry her.
- Exactly what she has in mind.
485
00:32:01,180 --> 00:32:05,617
Dahlia, I thought I heard your voice.
What are you doing up at this hour?
486
00:32:06,660 --> 00:32:08,492
Mr Wooster had a headache, sir,
487
00:32:08,580 --> 00:32:13,211
and I was forced to rouse Mrs Travers
for medicaments.
488
00:32:13,300 --> 00:32:16,770
- You're out and about a bit late.
- Taking my stroll in the garden.
489
00:32:16,860 --> 00:32:20,057
I saw a blasted ladder propped up
against a window.
490
00:32:20,140 --> 00:32:24,896
Put it out of the way in the nick of time.
A minute later, we'd have had burglars.
491
00:32:24,980 --> 00:32:28,769
Probably just a ladder
one of the gardeners was using.
492
00:32:28,860 --> 00:32:31,659
If I may say so, Mrs Travers,
there is always the danger
493
00:32:31,740 --> 00:32:35,449
of the criminal element having heard
about your pearl necklace.
494
00:32:35,540 --> 00:32:37,690
- I'd forgotten that.
- I hadn't.
495
00:32:37,780 --> 00:32:40,420
I went straight up to your room
and got it.
496
00:32:40,500 --> 00:32:46,178
I've locked it in the safe. A burglar will
have to be pretty smart to get it out.
497
00:32:46,260 --> 00:32:47,978
Good night.
498
00:32:48,060 --> 00:32:51,337
Hell's whiskers!
Now what are we to do?
499
00:33:05,100 --> 00:33:09,571
Wooster, Lady Florence has just told me
that she is engaged to you.
500
00:33:09,660 --> 00:33:12,334
Has she? Well, yes, of course, quite.
501
00:33:12,420 --> 00:33:15,572
Only yesterday,
she was engaged to Cheesewright.
502
00:33:15,660 --> 00:33:17,617
It's very confusing.
503
00:33:19,060 --> 00:33:21,017
What on earth's the matter?
504
00:33:21,100 --> 00:33:24,138
You're not wearing a hat.
You might get sunstroke.
505
00:33:24,220 --> 00:33:26,257
What it's got to do with you?
506
00:33:26,340 --> 00:33:29,059
Your health is naturally
of very great concern to me
507
00:33:29,140 --> 00:33:31,290
now I've drawn you in the darts sweep.
508
00:33:31,380 --> 00:33:34,896
No, no, no, Stilton Cheesewright
has drawn me.
509
00:33:34,980 --> 00:33:37,335
There's a lot of hidden good
in Cheesewright.
510
00:33:37,420 --> 00:33:40,970
He told me that this darts contest
is usually a tie,
511
00:33:41,060 --> 00:33:43,495
but that you were the certain winner.
512
00:33:43,580 --> 00:33:47,574
Yet he offered to sell me
the ticket bearing your name.
513
00:33:47,660 --> 00:33:49,776
He's looking for you, by the way.
514
00:33:49,860 --> 00:33:51,817
Wooster?
515
00:33:53,060 --> 00:33:55,017
Wooster?
516
00:34:01,060 --> 00:34:04,416
Stilton sold the sweepstake ticket
to Percy Gorringe.
517
00:34:04,500 --> 00:34:07,572
I have no time for your tongue-twisters.
Read this.
518
00:34:07,660 --> 00:34:11,574
"Regret unavoidably detained London.
DDM." Who's DDM?
519
00:34:11,660 --> 00:34:13,731
Daphne Dolores Morehead, pudding!
520
00:34:13,820 --> 00:34:17,734
All I had left was that Morehead
would impress Trotter so much,
521
00:34:17,820 --> 00:34:21,336
he'd buy Milady's Boudoir,
no further questions asked.
522
00:34:21,420 --> 00:34:25,857
I'd get the money, redeem the pearls
before this Burwash creature arrived.
523
00:34:25,940 --> 00:34:29,649
- I'm finished, Bertie.
- Pardon me, Mrs Travers.
524
00:34:29,740 --> 00:34:32,892
No, Jeeves, this is beyond
even your powers.
525
00:34:32,980 --> 00:34:34,414
Perhaps so, madam,
526
00:34:34,500 --> 00:34:38,459
but if you could find someone
willing to impersonate Miss Morehead...
527
00:34:38,540 --> 00:34:41,054
Tosh, Jeeves! Who could possibly...?
528
00:34:42,460 --> 00:34:44,053
No! No, no.
529
00:34:44,140 --> 00:34:47,929
Seriously and definitely no. I'm prepared
to do many things for you,
530
00:34:48,020 --> 00:34:52,378
but not putting on earrings and a frock,
pretending to be a lady novelist.
531
00:34:52,460 --> 00:34:56,658
- Besides, I've got a moustache.
- With a lady novelist, that's an asset.
532
00:34:56,740 --> 00:34:59,539
Aunt Dahlia, Jeeves gets these wild ideas
533
00:34:59,620 --> 00:35:03,090
about dressing up as lady novelists
and climbing through windows.
534
00:35:03,180 --> 00:35:07,970
You seize upon them without a thought
and I'm the one who's expected...
535
00:35:10,860 --> 00:35:12,533
Jeeves.
536
00:35:25,260 --> 00:35:28,252
Wooster! Wooster!
537
00:35:28,340 --> 00:35:30,980
Come here, Wooster,
you snake in the grass.
538
00:35:31,060 --> 00:35:34,655
- If I catch you, Wooster...
- Oh, Bertie!
539
00:35:34,740 --> 00:35:37,095
- What-ho, Florence.
- D'Arcy?
540
00:35:37,180 --> 00:35:40,411
D'Arcy Cheesewright,
are you chasing Bertie?
541
00:35:40,500 --> 00:35:43,458
I... l wanted to tell him something.
542
00:35:43,540 --> 00:35:46,180
D'Arcy, I'm surprised at you!
543
00:35:46,260 --> 00:35:50,015
Now, I want you both to shake hands
and to promise to be friends.
544
00:35:51,500 --> 00:35:53,457
Oh, all right.
545
00:35:54,100 --> 00:35:56,614
There. Doesn't that feel better?
546
00:35:59,660 --> 00:36:03,654
Wooster, the homebreaker.
Wooster, the snake in the grass.
547
00:36:03,740 --> 00:36:07,859
- Six places, was it?
- Five at the last count.
548
00:36:07,940 --> 00:36:09,897
Agh! It's up to you, of course.
549
00:36:10,940 --> 00:36:14,695
Why, hello.
I'm Daphne Dolores Morehead.
550
00:36:14,780 --> 00:36:19,411
- I'm here to see Mrs Travers.
- Oh, the novelist, yes.
551
00:36:19,500 --> 00:36:22,811
- Yes... She told me about you.
- Why are you holding hands?
552
00:36:22,900 --> 00:36:25,653
Is that some English custom?
553
00:36:26,860 --> 00:36:32,538
- I am D'Arcy Cheesewright.
- Mr Cheesewright! Heavens to Betsy!
554
00:36:32,620 --> 00:36:37,012
I thought your face was familiar.
You used to row for Oxford College.
555
00:36:37,100 --> 00:36:41,651
Somebody pointed you out to me
at an eighth week ball one year.
556
00:36:41,740 --> 00:36:46,655
You had a moustache then. I do declare,
you look much handsomer without it.
557
00:36:46,740 --> 00:36:50,210
Moustaches really are the end,
are they not?
558
00:36:50,300 --> 00:36:53,179
Would you like me to show you
round the grounds?
559
00:36:53,260 --> 00:36:56,457
That's very sweet of you,
Mr Cheesewright.
560
00:36:56,540 --> 00:37:00,295
- I ought to say hello to our hostess.
- Mrs Travers wouldn't mind.
561
00:37:00,380 --> 00:37:05,056
Oh, I think she would.
Wouldn't she, Mr Wooster?
562
00:37:05,140 --> 00:37:09,338
No, not at all. Nothing she'd like better
than for you to see the grounds.
563
00:37:09,420 --> 00:37:14,017
- There, you see.
- Well, if you say so, Mr Cheesewright.
564
00:37:21,860 --> 00:37:25,899
What do you mean, Cheesewright's
taken a fancy to her? She's Jeeves.
565
00:37:25,980 --> 00:37:28,654
You know how impressionable
these young chaps are.
566
00:37:28,740 --> 00:37:31,812
Jeeves can't waste
his time with Cheesewright.
567
00:37:31,900 --> 00:37:34,494
We've got to get him together
with Trotter.
568
00:37:37,180 --> 00:37:42,300
- You're a dashed handsome woman.
- You really shouldn't say such things.
569
00:37:42,380 --> 00:37:46,851
Tell me more about this Mr Trotter.
He sounds absolutely fascinating.
570
00:37:46,940 --> 00:37:49,454
I could think of other things
I'd rather tell you.
571
00:37:49,540 --> 00:37:52,578
Now, now, I warned you,
Mr Cheesewright.
572
00:37:52,660 --> 00:37:55,334
- You mustn't be naughty.
- Aren't you sometimes?
573
00:37:55,420 --> 00:37:59,209
- I'm not that kind of a girl.
- What sort of a girl you are, then?
574
00:37:59,300 --> 00:38:01,689
I think you might be awfully surprised.
575
00:38:01,780 --> 00:38:04,818
Oh! Please, don't do that,
Mr Cheesewright!
576
00:38:04,900 --> 00:38:07,016
I know all about you artistic girls.
577
00:38:07,100 --> 00:38:10,570
- Mr Cheesewright.
- Oh, come on, just one little kiss.
578
00:38:10,660 --> 00:38:13,015
Mr Cheesewright!
579
00:38:15,420 --> 00:38:18,253
Some men simply won't be told.
580
00:38:20,500 --> 00:38:24,892
Daphne's last three novels
have all been absolute bestsellers.
581
00:38:24,980 --> 00:38:29,690
Tell Mr and Mrs Trotter about the serial
you are writing for Milady's Boudoir.
582
00:38:29,780 --> 00:38:33,694
Well, it's the story
of a young, innocent American girl,
583
00:38:33,780 --> 00:38:35,214
just like me,
584
00:38:35,300 --> 00:38:37,496
coming to London for the first time.
585
00:38:37,580 --> 00:38:40,254
Oh... London?
586
00:38:40,340 --> 00:38:43,810
Well, I suppose it could be anywhere,
couldn't it, Daphne?
587
00:38:43,900 --> 00:38:44,900
Well...
588
00:38:44,940 --> 00:38:48,490
In fact, it might make it
rather more interesting if it were...
589
00:38:48,580 --> 00:38:50,935
Well, I don't know... Liverpool, perhaps?
590
00:38:51,020 --> 00:38:54,092
Why, what a wonderful idea, Dahlia.
591
00:38:54,180 --> 00:38:56,217
Anyways, on her very first day...
592
00:38:56,300 --> 00:38:59,816
Are you familiar
with our own great Liverpool writers?
593
00:38:59,900 --> 00:39:02,130
Maisie Fazerkerley, for example.
594
00:39:03,180 --> 00:39:09,096
Why, no, Mrs Trotter. That's one of the
little treats I've been promising myself.
595
00:39:10,220 --> 00:39:11,893
More tea, Trotter?
596
00:39:15,860 --> 00:39:20,138
Ah! I say, Wooster, what a corker,
that Daphne Dolores Morehead!
597
00:39:20,220 --> 00:39:23,212
Well, she has a certain something,
I must say.
598
00:39:23,300 --> 00:39:27,180
She likes me too, you know.
You can always tell, can't you?
599
00:39:29,300 --> 00:39:32,691
I don't think she's all that wonderful,
I must say.
600
00:39:39,660 --> 00:39:41,617
How did it go with the Trotters?
601
00:39:41,700 --> 00:39:44,738
You made a big hit with Stilton.
Get your trousseau ready.
602
00:39:44,820 --> 00:39:46,936
Thank you, sir. Most amusing.
603
00:39:47,020 --> 00:39:49,933
If I might have a word with you,
Mrs Travers.
604
00:39:55,220 --> 00:39:59,498
Mr Cheesewright's heard something
from his uncle in the Home Office,
605
00:39:59,580 --> 00:40:03,733
which I feel may unlock the quandary
in which you find yourself.
606
00:40:03,820 --> 00:40:05,572
Tell me.
607
00:40:05,660 --> 00:40:08,573
It appears that Mrs Trotter
is socially ambitious.
608
00:40:08,660 --> 00:40:11,971
She yearns to be the toast
of her native Liverpool.
609
00:40:12,060 --> 00:40:14,859
But she feels
she can only realise her ambition
610
00:40:14,940 --> 00:40:17,090
if she is addressed as Lady Trotter.
611
00:40:17,180 --> 00:40:21,458
But Mr Trotter shrinks from the prospect
of being addressed as Sir Lemuel.
612
00:40:23,340 --> 00:40:25,775
Lemuel, Jeeves?
His name's not Lemuel?
613
00:40:25,860 --> 00:40:29,137
- I fear so, sir.
- He could use his second name.
614
00:40:29,220 --> 00:40:33,100
Hardly, madam.
His second name is Gengulphus.
615
00:40:33,180 --> 00:40:37,378
By George, there's some war-work
pulled at the font sometimes.
616
00:40:37,460 --> 00:40:39,576
Mind, I don't see where all this gets us.
617
00:40:39,660 --> 00:40:44,814
If Mr Trotter were made aware the only
alternative to buying Milady's Boudoir
618
00:40:44,900 --> 00:40:47,619
might be the unfortunate discovery
by Mrs Trotter
619
00:40:47,700 --> 00:40:51,375
that he had already been
offered a knighthood and declined it,
620
00:40:51,460 --> 00:40:53,849
he might become
somewhat more malleable.
621
00:40:53,940 --> 00:40:55,738
He's turned down a knighthood?
622
00:40:55,820 --> 00:40:59,495
- She'd never forgive him.
- We've got him cold.
623
00:41:00,860 --> 00:41:03,136
Here comes Trotter now.
624
00:41:03,220 --> 00:41:06,690
Aunt Dahlia is just sitting there
reading her newspaper.
625
00:41:06,780 --> 00:41:09,932
How do you broach the subject
of blackmail? Rather tricky?
626
00:41:10,020 --> 00:41:13,809
Yes, sir. Always a danger that
the victim might become obstreperous.
627
00:41:13,900 --> 00:41:17,336
- Or even violent.
- He's sitting down now, too.
628
00:41:19,020 --> 00:41:21,933
Seem to be chatting quite amicably.
629
00:41:22,020 --> 00:41:24,534
No, Jeeves. He's on his feet.
630
00:41:26,500 --> 00:41:30,459
Waving his arms. He's stalking off.
631
00:41:30,540 --> 00:41:33,373
- He'll come back, sir.
- I don't think so, Jeeves.
632
00:41:33,460 --> 00:41:35,736
He's coming into the house.
633
00:41:35,820 --> 00:41:39,415
Aunt Dahlia doesn't seem bothered.
She's reading her paper again.
634
00:41:39,500 --> 00:41:44,131
Mrs Travers is no stranger
to these negotiations, if you recall, sir.
635
00:41:44,220 --> 00:41:46,131
No, indeed, Jeeves. No.
636
00:41:46,220 --> 00:41:48,575
No, you're right. He's coming back.
637
00:41:48,660 --> 00:41:52,540
Aunt Dahlia won't talk to him.
She's just going on reading The Times.
638
00:41:52,620 --> 00:41:56,739
He's pleading with her. Oh, yes,
she's looking at him now, all right.
639
00:41:56,820 --> 00:41:58,811
Jeeves, he's writing out a cheque!
640
00:41:58,900 --> 00:42:02,655
Perhaps there will be a happy end
to this story after all, sir.
641
00:42:02,740 --> 00:42:07,974
He's handed her the cheque. She's
standing up too. Yes, it's all smiles now.
642
00:42:09,460 --> 00:42:12,259
He's kissed her on the cheek. Good Lord.
643
00:42:12,340 --> 00:42:16,334
She's slapped him on the back.
Now she's helping him up.
644
00:42:16,420 --> 00:42:19,731
Dusting down his suit.
She's done it, Jeeves!
645
00:42:21,260 --> 00:42:23,297
Welcome back, Jeeves. Come on.
646
00:42:27,060 --> 00:42:31,930
Jeeves, take Trotter's cheque to the bank
and pay it in.
647
00:42:32,020 --> 00:42:35,695
Then cash this cheque for £1,000
and take it to the pawnbroker's.
648
00:42:35,780 --> 00:42:38,420
- The address is on the ticket.
- Very good.
649
00:42:38,500 --> 00:42:40,935
This valuer fellow is due at 4:00.
650
00:42:41,020 --> 00:42:43,819
Can you do all that
and get the pearls here by then?
651
00:42:43,900 --> 00:42:46,813
- I shall do my very best, madam.
- Splendid.
652
00:43:02,460 --> 00:43:06,499
Bertie, it's Burwash, the pearl expert!
He's arrived early!
653
00:43:11,980 --> 00:43:17,100
- Burwash! Good of you to come.
- Not at all, Mr Travers.
654
00:43:17,180 --> 00:43:20,252
I caught an earlier train.
It won't inconvenience you?
655
00:43:20,340 --> 00:43:25,813
Not at all, not at all. Let me show you
these pearls I was talking about.
656
00:43:25,900 --> 00:43:30,656
I bought them from Aspinall's
about a year ago, you understand.
657
00:43:35,220 --> 00:43:39,179
Tom! Tom! Tom! A burglar!
658
00:43:40,140 --> 00:43:42,416
Tom, upstairs! Quickly, I saw him!
659
00:43:42,500 --> 00:43:46,698
What, another one? The devils!
In broad daylight too.
660
00:43:46,780 --> 00:43:49,215
- Seppings!
- How do you do, Mr Burwash?
661
00:43:49,300 --> 00:43:51,894
- I'm Dahlia Travers.
- How do you do?
662
00:43:51,980 --> 00:43:54,574
Do you have a lot of burglars
in these parts?
663
00:43:54,660 --> 00:43:57,015
Oh, any amount!
664
00:43:57,100 --> 00:44:02,129
They're... they're quite a... blight
on the area, you know.
665
00:44:03,380 --> 00:44:06,372
It's bad enough in London.
666
00:44:09,460 --> 00:44:14,296
It's such a catchy tune, isn't it?
I simply can't get it out of my head!
667
00:44:15,740 --> 00:44:18,414
I can't get it out of my head!
668
00:44:19,980 --> 00:44:22,449
Look, there's Tom now.
669
00:44:29,460 --> 00:44:31,417
Help! Help!
670
00:44:31,500 --> 00:44:33,650
He's fainted. Tom?
671
00:44:35,340 --> 00:44:40,972
Don't you understand the simplest thing,
Bertie? Never mind. Only one thing for it.
672
00:44:41,060 --> 00:44:45,019
We've got to steal Mrs Trotter's pearls
and pretend they're mine.
673
00:44:45,780 --> 00:44:49,296
- What? What?
- He's fainted.
674
00:44:49,380 --> 00:44:51,018
Good God.
675
00:45:12,820 --> 00:45:15,460
Joy! Joy! Joy in the afternoon!
676
00:45:15,540 --> 00:45:17,816
Bertie...
677
00:45:21,380 --> 00:45:24,020
- Hello.
- Are you waiting for my mother?
678
00:45:24,100 --> 00:45:26,535
- I beg your pardon?
- That's her room, isn't it?
679
00:45:26,620 --> 00:45:29,738
No, no. Yes, that's right. it is.
680
00:45:29,820 --> 00:45:34,053
I am. What a charming woman she is.
I'm just...
681
00:45:34,140 --> 00:45:36,097
I've got them.
682
00:45:37,060 --> 00:45:40,132
- Ah!
- What's going on?
683
00:45:41,300 --> 00:45:45,214
- Erm... well... funny you should ask that.
- No, it's no good.
684
00:45:45,300 --> 00:45:48,816
Mr Gorringe, we are just borrowing
your mother's pearls.
685
00:45:48,900 --> 00:45:51,289
- Without her knowledge?
- Yes.
686
00:45:51,380 --> 00:45:55,339
My pearls have gone missing. I need
something to show that expert.
687
00:45:55,420 --> 00:45:58,173
- You can't show him those.
- We'll put them back.
688
00:45:58,260 --> 00:46:00,171
They're not real.
689
00:46:02,100 --> 00:46:05,616
Look, Mother asked me
to take her necklace to be cleaned.
690
00:46:05,700 --> 00:46:09,170
I needed £1,000 urgently
to put into Florence's play.
691
00:46:09,260 --> 00:46:11,729
I pawned the necklace
and had an imitation made.
692
00:46:11,820 --> 00:46:13,379
What?
693
00:46:13,460 --> 00:46:18,170
Well, I must say! I don't know what's
happened to this younger generation.
694
00:46:18,260 --> 00:46:21,332
Percy, you did that for me?
695
00:46:21,420 --> 00:46:23,377
And I'd do it again.
696
00:46:23,460 --> 00:46:25,371
Oh, Percy!
697
00:46:25,460 --> 00:46:29,693
- That's all very well.
- Seppings! Get the police.
698
00:46:30,540 --> 00:46:33,293
Seppings! Where the hell are you?
699
00:46:36,860 --> 00:46:41,013
- What on earth's the matter, Tom?
- Your dashed pearls have been stolen.
700
00:46:41,100 --> 00:46:45,139
I gave them to Burwash and he fainted
and now they're not here.
701
00:46:54,900 --> 00:46:59,417
Are there any sadder words
in the English language, Jeeves?
702
00:46:59,500 --> 00:47:02,014
- "Too late."
- None, madam.
703
00:47:02,100 --> 00:47:04,933
Can't we just say
we found them lying somewhere?
704
00:47:05,020 --> 00:47:06,499
Where?
705
00:47:07,380 --> 00:47:10,930
Well... What are you doing
with that razor, Jeeves?
706
00:47:11,020 --> 00:47:17,210
There is, unfortunately, only one answer
to Mrs Travers's problem, sir.
707
00:47:21,700 --> 00:47:25,819
If them pearls is in this 'ouse,
my men will find 'em, sir.
708
00:47:25,900 --> 00:47:28,892
- My men is like 'awks.
- Auks?
709
00:47:29,700 --> 00:47:31,657
'Awks, from the eyesight.
710
00:47:32,820 --> 00:47:37,610
- What is everybody waiting for?
- My pearls have been stolen.
711
00:47:37,700 --> 00:47:40,055
Yes, Jeeves? What is it?
712
00:47:40,140 --> 00:47:43,815
I regret to say, madam,
that one of your maids has confessed.
713
00:47:43,900 --> 00:47:47,689
- Confessed?
- It's little Beryl, madam.
714
00:47:52,300 --> 00:47:54,496
Beryl, how could you?
715
00:47:57,380 --> 00:48:01,738
I was tempted, ma'am. I only done it
cos we was so poor, ma'am.
716
00:48:02,980 --> 00:48:05,540
I only took her on this morning
out of kindness.
717
00:48:05,620 --> 00:48:08,339
- She's not very bright.
- Right, my girl.
718
00:48:08,420 --> 00:48:11,412
- It's down to the station for you.
- No, sir! Please!
719
00:48:11,500 --> 00:48:15,380
- Oh, lnspector, do you have to?
- It's up to you, madam, to bring charges.
720
00:48:15,460 --> 00:48:19,693
Oh, I couldn't, lnspector, I should have it
on my conscience always.
721
00:48:19,780 --> 00:48:22,898
You see, she's in trouble.
722
00:48:24,220 --> 00:48:25,619
Disgraceful!
723
00:48:35,740 --> 00:48:37,697
Ooh...
724
00:48:43,980 --> 00:48:46,494
Well, gentlemen!
725
00:48:46,580 --> 00:48:49,174
Once more,
for the 17th year in succession,
726
00:48:49,260 --> 00:48:53,697
there is no outright winner
and once again, for the fourth year,
727
00:48:53,780 --> 00:49:00,049
the prize is shared by Mr Freddie
Widgeon and Mr Bertie Wooster!
728
00:49:11,020 --> 00:49:14,536
- Ah, Jeeves!
- I trust you were successful, sir.
729
00:49:14,620 --> 00:49:18,500
Another split decision, I'm afraid.
Mr Widgeon threw a beautiful dart.
730
00:49:18,580 --> 00:49:21,572
Well done, got to fly,
catching the boat to New York.
731
00:49:21,660 --> 00:49:24,891
- Oh?
- I found out that's where Daphne lives.
732
00:49:25,820 --> 00:49:27,618
Oh, quite.
733
00:49:27,700 --> 00:49:29,657
Well, good luck, Stilton.
734
00:49:32,980 --> 00:49:36,018
I can't help thinking,
somewhere at the back of my mind,
735
00:49:36,100 --> 00:49:39,980
there must be a better method
than playing the best of six games.
736
00:49:40,060 --> 00:49:42,097
It does seem likely, sir.
737
00:49:43,060 --> 00:49:46,576
- Perhaps the best of eight would do it.
- Possibly, sir.
738
00:49:46,660 --> 00:49:49,857
Ten? Exhaustion might then result,
if nothing else.
739
00:49:49,940 --> 00:49:54,298
I'm sure the Sports Committee
will find a way, sir... given time.
63649
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