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♪ If you're blue ♪
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♪ and you don't know
where to go to ♪
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00:00:07,040 --> 00:00:09,100
♪ why don't you go ♪
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00:00:09,140 --> 00:00:11,040
♪ where fashion sits ♪
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00:00:12,240 --> 00:00:16,000
♪ puttin' on the ritz ♪
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♪ different types
who wear a big coat ♪
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♪ pants with stripes ♪
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♪ or cutaway coat ♪
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♪ perfect fit ♪
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00:00:29,040 --> 00:00:32,100
♪ puttin' on the ritz ♪
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♪ dressed up like
a million-dollar trouper ♪
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♪ tryin' hard
to look like Gary Cooper ♪
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00:00:48,140 --> 00:00:49,290
♪ any way you know ♪
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♪ come on, let's mix ♪
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00:00:51,150 --> 00:00:53,290
♪ where rockefellers
walk with sticks ♪
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♪ or umbrellas ♪
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00:00:56,180 --> 00:00:57,280
♪ in their mitts ♪
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♪ puttin' on the ritz ♪♪♪
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Captioning made possible by
Columbia pictures television,
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00:01:07,280 --> 00:01:08,250
fox broadcasting company,
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00:01:08,290 --> 00:01:11,280
and 199o nci caption club/
grantsmanship
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Vinnie. Listen up.
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I want you to hear something.
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"Why I, Charlie verducci,
love l'eggs panty hose."
25
00:01:27,090 --> 00:01:30,130
Pop, we got to get you a woman.
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00:01:30,170 --> 00:01:32,120
True, but listen to this.
27
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It's in the form of a poem.
28
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"L'eggs are perfect
for big and small.
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00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:41,120
"No matter how wide your butt,
30
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one size fits all."
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That's beautiful, pop,
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and nothing would
make me prouder
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00:01:48,130 --> 00:01:51,050
than to see you as
the l'eggs spokeslady.
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00:01:51,090 --> 00:01:53,210
The reason
I enter these contests
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is because after I'm gone,
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00:01:55,250 --> 00:01:58,140
it's important for me
to leave you something.
37
00:01:58,180 --> 00:02:01,240
What, a lifetime supply
of panty hose?
38
00:02:05,270 --> 00:02:08,110
Hey, that looks good.
39
00:02:08,150 --> 00:02:11,270
That's not for you, pop.
That's for Mr. Fluffy.
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00:02:12,010 --> 00:02:14,150
I got yours right over here.
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00:02:19,010 --> 00:02:22,120
I just put it
in the cat food can
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because Mr. Fluffy
got the last clean plate.
43
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Open the hangar.
44
00:02:29,150 --> 00:02:32,120
Here comes the airplane.
45
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Come on. Take a little
bite for daddy.
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[Yeow]
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How'd you like to go for
a ride in the toilet?
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00:02:43,160 --> 00:02:46,120
He's just jealous
'cause no one's petted
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or rubbed him in three months.
50
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Three months and two weeks,
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and it's none of your business.
52
00:02:53,140 --> 00:02:55,090
Besides, cats
are worthless anyway.
53
00:02:55,130 --> 00:02:57,250
Only the Thai people
appreciate cats.
54
00:02:57,290 --> 00:02:59,250
That's only as an entree.
55
00:02:59,290 --> 00:03:02,120
Cats aren't worth
anything, huh, pop?
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Not a cent.
57
00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:07,110
Look at this.
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"Ruggles has roamed.
59
00:03:09,010 --> 00:03:12,280
Will pay $5,000
if you bring him home."
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00:03:13,020 --> 00:03:16,000
What? $5,000 for a cat?
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It's worth more than I am.
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00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:22,120
This here stupid cat
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00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:24,270
looks just like your stupid cat.
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Except that he doesn't
have Mr. Fluffy's style
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and class.
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00:03:29,010 --> 00:03:31,120
It takes a lot of class
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to give yourself a sponge bath
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with your own tongue.
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00:03:35,160 --> 00:03:37,270
Three months and two weeks, huh?
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00:03:38,010 --> 00:03:40,120
Soon you'll give yourself
a sponge bath
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00:03:40,160 --> 00:03:41,270
with your own tongue.
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Would that I could.
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00:03:51,130 --> 00:03:52,250
What was that?
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00:03:52,290 --> 00:03:54,240
That was opportunity knocking.
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00:03:54,280 --> 00:03:57,130
Oh, all right. I'll get it.
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00:03:59,010 --> 00:04:02,000
Vinnie, Vinnie, it's ok.
We don't know him.
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00:04:02,040 --> 00:04:05,000
It's been a long time
since you and I
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00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:07,120
did something together
as verduccis,
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00:04:07,160 --> 00:04:09,040
just as father and son.
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00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:12,030
What do you say
we go get ice cream,
81
00:04:12,070 --> 00:04:15,040
then palm off your cat
for 5 grand?
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00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:17,040
Like you'd sell Mr. Fluffy
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00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:21,010
when you know how much
that would hurt me.
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00:04:21,050 --> 00:04:22,150
[Knock on door]
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00:04:22,190 --> 00:04:24,010
Maybe that's opportunity again.
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00:04:24,050 --> 00:04:26,270
Yeah. On the way to
a rich neighborhood,
87
00:04:27,010 --> 00:04:28,270
opportunity stops
in our neighborhood
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to go to the bathroom.
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00:04:30,140 --> 00:04:31,250
Go let him in.
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00:04:31,290 --> 00:04:32,290
All right.
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00:04:35,010 --> 00:04:36,070
Hi, Vinnie.
92
00:04:44,060 --> 00:04:46,050
Hi, Mr. Verducky.
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00:04:46,090 --> 00:04:48,010
It's verducci.
94
00:04:48,050 --> 00:04:49,170
Oh, I see.
95
00:04:49,210 --> 00:04:52,230
So then it's Donald
and daffy ducci.
96
00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:57,060
I want to ask you a question.
97
00:04:57,100 --> 00:04:59,210
Suppose your father
had an opportunity
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00:04:59,250 --> 00:05:02,110
to sell your stupid dog bud.
99
00:05:02,150 --> 00:05:04,110
No. My stupid brother is bud.
100
00:05:04,150 --> 00:05:06,120
My stupid dog is buck.
101
00:05:06,160 --> 00:05:07,270
I got it confused
102
00:05:08,010 --> 00:05:10,250
'cause they're both
in heat all the time.
103
00:05:10,290 --> 00:05:12,040
Get this.
104
00:05:12,080 --> 00:05:16,200
Pop thinks he can get
5 grand out of Mr. Fluffy.
105
00:05:16,240 --> 00:05:19,200
We once got 50 cents
out of buck,
106
00:05:19,240 --> 00:05:22,060
but we had to wait all night,
107
00:05:22,100 --> 00:05:24,060
and then nobody wanted it.
108
00:05:24,100 --> 00:05:25,200
You know, Vinnie,
109
00:05:25,240 --> 00:05:29,060
Mr. Fluffy looks like he
could use some exercise.
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00:05:29,100 --> 00:05:31,210
You know what I'm going to do?
111
00:05:31,250 --> 00:05:33,070
I'm taking him outside
112
00:05:33,110 --> 00:05:36,060
and teach him how to
tease German Shepherds.
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00:05:36,100 --> 00:05:37,060
Eew!
114
00:05:37,100 --> 00:05:39,260
My shoes are all wet and slimy.
115
00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:42,040
See? I told you Mr. Fluffy
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00:05:42,080 --> 00:05:44,220
had an upset stomach last night.
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It's a good thing that ad
doesn't say dead or alive.
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You don't really think
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00:05:53,050 --> 00:05:55,200
he'd sell my cat, do you?
120
00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:57,040
Well, for $300,
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00:05:57,080 --> 00:05:59,200
my dad tried to convince my mom
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00:05:59,240 --> 00:06:02,110
to be the Volvo test dummy.
123
00:06:02,150 --> 00:06:05,000
You asked your dad
before coming here?
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00:06:05,040 --> 00:06:08,150
Yeah. He said if he
ever found us together
125
00:06:08,190 --> 00:06:10,140
that he would kill you.
126
00:06:10,180 --> 00:06:12,150
So, you want to make out?
127
00:06:12,190 --> 00:06:14,150
No. If he kills me,
128
00:06:14,190 --> 00:06:17,150
my dad will never
talk to me again.
129
00:06:17,190 --> 00:06:19,140
If you're going to stay here,
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00:06:19,180 --> 00:06:21,030
you're going to have to promise
131
00:06:21,070 --> 00:06:22,140
we'll just be friends.
132
00:06:22,180 --> 00:06:26,150
You must have male friends
you don't make out with.
133
00:06:26,190 --> 00:06:28,000
Of course I do.
134
00:06:28,040 --> 00:06:30,140
There's Bobby,
and he's a hairdresser,
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00:06:30,180 --> 00:06:32,040
and his roommate Dwayne.
136
00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:36,120
Neither of them have
ever tried to touch me,
137
00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:38,120
but I think Dwayne wants to
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00:06:38,160 --> 00:06:39,290
'cause he's always asking
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00:06:40,030 --> 00:06:41,110
about my underwear.
140
00:06:41,150 --> 00:06:42,260
I know Dwayne.
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00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:46,080
He asks me questions
about my underwear, too.
142
00:06:47,290 --> 00:06:50,250
But listen, Kelly,
I need your help.
143
00:06:50,290 --> 00:06:52,250
I want to get a job
144
00:06:52,290 --> 00:06:55,180
so I can make pop's life easier.
145
00:06:55,220 --> 00:06:57,040
Ok. I'll help you,
146
00:06:57,080 --> 00:06:59,040
but you have to help me.
147
00:06:59,080 --> 00:07:00,250
Rub my shoulders.
148
00:07:00,290 --> 00:07:03,270
So, what do you want to do?
149
00:07:04,010 --> 00:07:05,270
What would make your life happy?
150
00:07:06,010 --> 00:07:08,110
Well, uh...
151
00:07:08,150 --> 00:07:10,260
I want to work
with other people,
152
00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:13,270
and I want to work
with my hands.
153
00:07:14,010 --> 00:07:16,260
I want to get excited
about what I do.
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00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:19,120
I want to work with my hands.
155
00:07:19,160 --> 00:07:20,210
[Knock on door]
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00:07:20,250 --> 00:07:23,150
Hey, opportunity, I'm busy.
157
00:07:25,110 --> 00:07:26,160
It's you.
158
00:07:26,200 --> 00:07:28,020
It's really you.
159
00:07:28,060 --> 00:07:31,010
Kelly Bundy here
in person in my building.
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00:07:31,050 --> 00:07:34,020
I heard the rumors
in the neighborhood,
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00:07:34,060 --> 00:07:37,020
but I dared not
believe them true,
162
00:07:37,060 --> 00:07:40,020
but here you are,
the queen of love,
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00:07:40,060 --> 00:07:43,070
my idol since I was 10.
164
00:07:43,110 --> 00:07:45,070
Fame is such a burden.
165
00:07:45,110 --> 00:07:47,190
Bless you, urchin.
166
00:07:50,010 --> 00:07:52,110
And who the hell are you?
167
00:07:52,150 --> 00:07:54,120
She's a little Barbie doll
168
00:07:54,160 --> 00:07:56,260
who wants to be a blowup doll.
169
00:07:57,000 --> 00:08:01,050
Miss Bundy, would you sign
my gum wrapper "to Mona"?
170
00:08:02,140 --> 00:08:06,110
"Wait until you're married
to get fat. Kelly buddy."
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00:08:06,150 --> 00:08:07,210
Bundy.
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00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:10,070
There's no "n."
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00:08:10,110 --> 00:08:13,120
There's an "n" in Bundy?
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00:08:16,260 --> 00:08:19,060
I'm going to call the rich guy
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00:08:19,100 --> 00:08:20,230
who placed this add.
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00:08:20,270 --> 00:08:24,080
Soon you'll be shedding
in the lap of luxury.
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00:08:24,120 --> 00:08:25,170
Wait there.
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00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:32,150
Where the hell did he go?
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00:08:33,160 --> 00:08:34,270
Mr. Fluffy!
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00:08:35,010 --> 00:08:38,110
My dear sweet little friend
Mr. Fluffy.
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00:08:38,150 --> 00:08:42,000
Where are you, you furry
piece of vermin?
182
00:08:43,160 --> 00:08:45,120
Oh...
183
00:08:45,160 --> 00:08:48,010
Mr. Verducci.
184
00:08:48,050 --> 00:08:49,290
Nice to see you.
185
00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:51,140
Hello, Mrs. O'Miley.
186
00:08:51,180 --> 00:08:53,000
No man of mine
187
00:08:53,040 --> 00:08:57,090
would ever have to do
his own laundry.
188
00:08:57,130 --> 00:08:59,090
There are a lot of guys
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00:08:59,130 --> 00:09:02,100
who'd love to be fluffed
and folded by you.
190
00:09:02,140 --> 00:09:05,220
So, do you happen
to have any plans
191
00:09:05,260 --> 00:09:07,180
for this evening?
192
00:09:07,220 --> 00:09:09,110
I must.
193
00:09:09,150 --> 00:09:10,270
It just so happens
194
00:09:11,010 --> 00:09:14,270
I'm cooking up a big pot
of cabbage bean soup,
195
00:09:15,010 --> 00:09:18,180
and it's just too much
for one person.
196
00:09:18,220 --> 00:09:20,140
Even you?
197
00:09:23,160 --> 00:09:25,110
Oh, Mr. Verducci.
198
00:09:25,150 --> 00:09:28,290
I love a man
with a sense of humor.
199
00:09:29,030 --> 00:09:32,000
And a sport coat
made of chocolate.
200
00:09:32,040 --> 00:09:34,260
Oh, I could just eat you up.
201
00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:36,090
Now, remember,
202
00:09:36,130 --> 00:09:38,250
mama's always
got her pot of soup
203
00:09:38,290 --> 00:09:40,110
bubbling for you.
204
00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:43,060
Look, a twinkie.
205
00:09:47,050 --> 00:09:48,260
You kill me.
206
00:09:51,260 --> 00:09:53,000
Whoo!
207
00:09:54,140 --> 00:09:56,060
[Meow]
208
00:09:56,100 --> 00:09:58,000
[Meow]
209
00:10:02,010 --> 00:10:03,220
Mr. Fluffy.
210
00:10:03,260 --> 00:10:04,210
Mr. Fluffy.
211
00:10:04,250 --> 00:10:06,120
Speak to me.
212
00:10:06,160 --> 00:10:07,270
Please speak to me.
213
00:10:08,010 --> 00:10:10,120
You're a cat. You can't speak.
214
00:10:10,160 --> 00:10:11,260
Meow to me.
215
00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:13,020
[Meow]
216
00:10:13,060 --> 00:10:15,020
You're alive. Hang in there.
217
00:10:15,060 --> 00:10:17,270
I don't like the way
you're breathing.
218
00:10:18,010 --> 00:10:19,110
What do I do?
219
00:10:19,150 --> 00:10:22,000
I know. Mouth-to-cat
resuscitation.
220
00:10:24,100 --> 00:10:25,250
Baw.
221
00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:30,080
He tastes bad mouse.
222
00:10:32,010 --> 00:10:33,270
Look, look...
223
00:10:34,010 --> 00:10:35,120
Look, you're all right.
224
00:10:35,160 --> 00:10:38,160
Oh, you're all right now.
Sure. Sure.
225
00:10:39,270 --> 00:10:41,170
I saved your life.
226
00:10:42,250 --> 00:10:43,270
But, uh...
227
00:10:46,160 --> 00:10:48,250
Let's get one thing
straight, furface.
228
00:10:48,290 --> 00:10:51,090
I don't like you. Get it?
229
00:10:51,130 --> 00:10:53,270
I do not like you.
230
00:10:55,290 --> 00:10:58,240
I'm so glad you're ok,
Mr. Fluffy.
231
00:10:58,280 --> 00:11:00,100
I don't know how
232
00:11:00,140 --> 00:11:02,270
I could have
considered selling you.
233
00:11:03,010 --> 00:11:05,270
How could I have
told Vinnie about it?
234
00:11:06,010 --> 00:11:07,270
I'm sorry. You forgive me?
235
00:11:08,010 --> 00:11:09,230
Oh, Mr. Verducci, I was just
236
00:11:09,270 --> 00:11:10,270
wondering if...
237
00:11:11,010 --> 00:11:12,110
Ohh! Ooh.
238
00:11:12,150 --> 00:11:16,070
Why, you're cuddling
my lingerie.
239
00:11:17,260 --> 00:11:20,230
Why drink Pepsi
when you can have
240
00:11:20,270 --> 00:11:22,110
the real thing?
241
00:11:22,150 --> 00:11:25,120
You're not a pussycat.
You're a foosycat.
242
00:11:25,160 --> 00:11:28,180
You're a pussy, wussy,
foosy, debussy cat.
243
00:11:28,220 --> 00:11:30,120
♪ I love a pussycat ♪
244
00:11:30,160 --> 00:11:31,210
♪ and a pussycat loves me ♪
245
00:11:31,250 --> 00:11:33,060
♪ ya ta ta-ta-ta, whoo ♪
246
00:11:33,100 --> 00:11:35,110
♪ do da Dee
Dee Dee Dee Dee wee ♪
247
00:11:35,150 --> 00:11:36,120
♪ doo whoo ♪
248
00:11:36,160 --> 00:11:37,230
♪ doo wee ♪
249
00:11:37,270 --> 00:11:39,170
♪ ya ta ta-ta-ta
teedle Lee tee tee ♪
250
00:11:39,210 --> 00:11:42,170
♪ da da dat dat dat da, whoo ♪
251
00:11:42,210 --> 00:11:45,010
Mr. Fluffy, how could you sleep
252
00:11:45,050 --> 00:11:47,290
on a junky old bed like this?
253
00:11:48,030 --> 00:11:49,100
You're a prince.
254
00:11:49,140 --> 00:11:51,070
You deserve only the best.
255
00:11:51,110 --> 00:11:52,220
I'll buy you everything
256
00:11:52,260 --> 00:11:54,220
the best money could buy...
257
00:11:54,260 --> 00:11:56,180
Up to 10 bucks.
258
00:11:57,290 --> 00:12:01,170
Hey, I didn't know you
were still seeing Roxanne.
259
00:12:01,210 --> 00:12:04,000
Go ahead. Go play doctor.
260
00:12:05,150 --> 00:12:07,270
Cat's doing better than I am.
261
00:12:08,010 --> 00:12:09,270
♪ I love a foosycat ♪
262
00:12:10,010 --> 00:12:11,160
♪ and a foosycat loves me ♪
263
00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:13,200
♪ da da da da da da da ♪♪♪
264
00:12:15,100 --> 00:12:16,220
Pop, you didn't.
265
00:12:16,260 --> 00:12:19,070
If you're talking
about Mrs. O'Miley,
266
00:12:19,110 --> 00:12:21,120
you better believe I didn't.
267
00:12:21,160 --> 00:12:23,230
I mean you sold Mr. Fluffy.
268
00:12:23,270 --> 00:12:25,220
He went off with Roxanne
269
00:12:25,260 --> 00:12:28,040
to do the kitty conga.
270
00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:30,260
He hasn't been seeing her
for months.
271
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,250
I know you sold him.
272
00:12:32,290 --> 00:12:34,250
I saved his life today.
273
00:12:34,290 --> 00:12:36,090
Something wonderful happened.
274
00:12:36,130 --> 00:12:39,100
We bonded. I put
my mouth on his.
275
00:12:39,140 --> 00:12:41,100
We traded spit.
276
00:12:42,210 --> 00:12:46,010
Oh, pop, what a tangled
woven sweater we knit
277
00:12:46,050 --> 00:12:49,060
when we practice
to never try, try again.
278
00:12:50,110 --> 00:12:51,240
What does that mean?
279
00:12:51,280 --> 00:12:54,100
I believe it's self-exploratory.
280
00:12:54,140 --> 00:12:55,140
Vinnie...
281
00:12:55,180 --> 00:12:57,030
[Doorbell rings]
282
00:13:03,110 --> 00:13:04,170
Mr. Verducky?
283
00:13:04,210 --> 00:13:05,170
Verducci.
284
00:13:05,210 --> 00:13:06,210
Whatever.
285
00:13:06,250 --> 00:13:07,270
Congratulations.
286
00:13:08,010 --> 00:13:11,120
You're the proud winner
of a new TV set.
287
00:13:11,160 --> 00:13:12,270
New TV set?
288
00:13:13,010 --> 00:13:15,130
I must have come in third
289
00:13:15,170 --> 00:13:16,260
in that "107 uses for"
290
00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:18,070
"mascara" contest.
291
00:13:18,110 --> 00:13:19,230
You've never won anything.
292
00:13:19,270 --> 00:13:22,230
You bought this
with the money you got
293
00:13:22,270 --> 00:13:24,160
for selling Mr. Fluffy.
294
00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:27,150
No, I didn't.
I won it. Tell him.
295
00:13:27,190 --> 00:13:29,010
Yeah. He won it.
296
00:13:29,050 --> 00:13:32,010
He made you say that, didn't he?
297
00:13:32,050 --> 00:13:33,160
Yeah. He made me.
298
00:13:33,200 --> 00:13:37,010
I made you say it
because it's the truth.
299
00:13:37,050 --> 00:13:38,010
Tell him.
300
00:13:38,050 --> 00:13:39,160
Yeah. It's the truth.
301
00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:41,100
Sir, don't you ever darken
302
00:13:41,140 --> 00:13:42,230
my doorface again.
303
00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:46,070
Ok. I'm out of here.
304
00:13:47,290 --> 00:13:49,250
Pop, you've always taught me
305
00:13:49,290 --> 00:13:51,100
never to trust anybody.
306
00:13:51,140 --> 00:13:54,090
Why did that have
to mean you, too?
307
00:13:54,130 --> 00:13:56,090
Vinnie, Vinnie, Vinnie...
308
00:13:56,130 --> 00:13:57,240
Vinnie, I...
309
00:13:57,280 --> 00:13:59,070
I...
310
00:13:59,110 --> 00:14:01,200
I wonder if this is cable-ready.
311
00:14:06,270 --> 00:14:08,220
My poor little Mr. Fluffy!
312
00:14:08,260 --> 00:14:10,080
My lost little pussycat!
313
00:14:10,120 --> 00:14:11,140
Where are...
314
00:14:12,190 --> 00:14:14,060
Hello, ladies.
315
00:14:14,100 --> 00:14:16,070
I did not sell Mr. Fluffy.
316
00:14:16,110 --> 00:14:19,060
I've been out all night
putting up posters.
317
00:14:19,100 --> 00:14:22,070
For two days I've been
looking for him.
318
00:14:22,110 --> 00:14:24,170
Look, I made them myself.
319
00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:30,020
Nice to see you, sister.
320
00:14:30,060 --> 00:14:31,240
New habit?
321
00:14:33,280 --> 00:14:35,030
Charles verducci...
322
00:14:35,070 --> 00:14:37,070
How could you?
323
00:14:37,110 --> 00:14:38,110
Sister.
324
00:14:38,150 --> 00:14:39,260
Charles.
325
00:14:49,270 --> 00:14:52,240
She may have shrunk,
but she can still hit.
326
00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:54,240
Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk.
327
00:14:54,280 --> 00:14:58,050
And you call yourself a man.
328
00:14:58,090 --> 00:15:00,200
Et tu, o'Miley?
329
00:15:00,240 --> 00:15:03,060
To think I almost let you
330
00:15:03,100 --> 00:15:05,020
have your way with me.
331
00:15:05,060 --> 00:15:08,020
Ooh. You mean I had a shot?
332
00:15:08,060 --> 00:15:10,030
Ahh, the dreams we shared.
333
00:15:10,070 --> 00:15:12,110
The plans we made.
334
00:15:12,150 --> 00:15:16,220
I even made a trip
to Victoria's secret.
335
00:15:17,290 --> 00:15:20,070
Talk about a big secret.
336
00:15:20,110 --> 00:15:23,280
No wonder it's been three months
337
00:15:24,020 --> 00:15:25,240
and two weeks.
338
00:15:29,140 --> 00:15:31,110
After three months
and two weeks,
339
00:15:31,150 --> 00:15:33,120
she's starting to look cute.
340
00:15:34,230 --> 00:15:36,040
He sold Mr. Fluffy.
341
00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:37,190
He sold Mr. Fluffy.
342
00:15:37,230 --> 00:15:39,140
He sold Mr. Fluffy.
343
00:15:39,180 --> 00:15:42,130
Why don't you take
your mind off cats?
344
00:15:42,170 --> 00:15:45,170
Come watch this Garfield
special with me.
345
00:15:46,190 --> 00:15:48,220
Nothing can cheer me up, Kelly.
346
00:15:52,130 --> 00:15:55,170
I can't resist that nutty cat.
347
00:15:55,210 --> 00:15:58,180
That Garfield is some actor.
348
00:15:58,220 --> 00:15:59,240
I hear...
349
00:15:59,280 --> 00:16:02,260
I hear he does his own stunts.
350
00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:03,260
Really?
351
00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:05,250
He must be really rich.
352
00:16:05,290 --> 00:16:08,110
He's got his own TV show,
353
00:16:08,150 --> 00:16:11,050
his own comic strips,
his own books.
354
00:16:11,090 --> 00:16:13,260
I wonder if he's married.
355
00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:15,260
I can't watch this anymore.
356
00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:18,250
I know something that
will keep your mind
357
00:16:18,290 --> 00:16:21,000
off your furry little friend.
358
00:16:23,290 --> 00:16:25,110
That's sweet, Kelly,
359
00:16:25,150 --> 00:16:27,220
but I just keep picturing him
360
00:16:27,260 --> 00:16:29,250
all curled up and warm,
361
00:16:29,290 --> 00:16:32,100
rubbing his head up against me,
362
00:16:32,140 --> 00:16:33,090
purring...
363
00:16:33,130 --> 00:16:34,080
[Purring]
364
00:16:34,120 --> 00:16:35,250
Putting his...
365
00:16:38,130 --> 00:16:41,250
Putting his little paw
on my shoulder.
366
00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:45,160
Damn, I miss Mr. Fluffy.
367
00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:49,150
Vinnie, I know you're
upset about your cat,
368
00:16:49,190 --> 00:16:52,220
and you feel you lost
your best friend.
369
00:16:52,260 --> 00:16:55,210
In times like this,
affection is called for.
370
00:16:55,250 --> 00:16:58,220
So obviously I'm not
going to get any here,
371
00:16:58,260 --> 00:17:01,240
so I'm going over
to my boyfriend's house.
372
00:17:01,280 --> 00:17:03,250
Wait. What day is it?
373
00:17:03,290 --> 00:17:05,020
Friday.
374
00:17:06,290 --> 00:17:08,000
Bob.
375
00:17:10,140 --> 00:17:12,110
Hello, cutie face.
How you doing?
376
00:17:12,150 --> 00:17:14,260
Go dig a hole in the ground
377
00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:16,160
and throw away the key.
378
00:17:19,150 --> 00:17:21,260
What is she talking about?
379
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:23,260
I've been out all night
380
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:26,260
putting up wanted posters
for Mr. Fluffy.
381
00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:28,110
On my way home,
382
00:17:28,150 --> 00:17:31,250
I stopped, and I got you
your favorite, Vinnie...
383
00:17:31,290 --> 00:17:34,050
Macadamia nut ice cream.
384
00:17:34,090 --> 00:17:38,040
What's wrong? Are they
out of guilt ripple?
385
00:17:38,080 --> 00:17:39,200
Vinnie, I'm your father.
386
00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:44,140
I'm not the kind of guy
who would sell the cat.
387
00:17:44,180 --> 00:17:47,290
Ok. I am the kind
who'd sell the cat,
388
00:17:48,030 --> 00:17:49,180
but I didn't.
389
00:17:49,220 --> 00:17:51,170
No, thanks. I'm not hungry.
390
00:17:51,210 --> 00:17:53,010
They ain't for you.
391
00:17:53,050 --> 00:17:54,170
They're Mr. Fluffy's favorites.
392
00:17:54,210 --> 00:17:57,170
When he smells these,
he'll come a-running.
393
00:17:57,210 --> 00:17:58,240
Mr. Fluffy!
394
00:17:58,280 --> 00:18:01,040
Come on home, little wussycat!
395
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,040
I got all your favorites!
396
00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:05,000
I got entrails delight,
397
00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:07,260
I got hoofs and stuff,
398
00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:10,290
and I got little bits of colon.
399
00:18:13,130 --> 00:18:16,230
If you really think
that I sold Mr. Fluffy,
400
00:18:16,270 --> 00:18:19,090
call the guy from the ad,
401
00:18:19,130 --> 00:18:21,060
and say, "hey, mister,
402
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:23,040
I want my cat back."
403
00:18:23,080 --> 00:18:26,040
If I do, he'll know it's a scam,
404
00:18:26,080 --> 00:18:28,190
and you'll end up in jail.
405
00:18:28,230 --> 00:18:31,120
Besides, his line's
been busy all day.
406
00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:32,110
Look.
407
00:18:32,150 --> 00:18:33,160
Hey.
408
00:18:36,020 --> 00:18:37,140
It's like relatives.
409
00:18:37,180 --> 00:18:40,160
Put out free food,
they all show up.
410
00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:43,090
You can fool some of the people
411
00:18:43,130 --> 00:18:45,010
most of the time,
412
00:18:45,050 --> 00:18:48,000
and you can fool
a lot of the people
413
00:18:48,040 --> 00:18:49,230
a lot of the times,
414
00:18:49,270 --> 00:18:51,240
and you can fool anybody
sometimes,
415
00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:54,270
but there's no fool
like an old fool.
416
00:18:56,230 --> 00:18:59,190
Vinnie, I don't have to
prove anything to you
417
00:18:59,230 --> 00:19:02,220
because I have always
told you the truth.
418
00:19:02,260 --> 00:19:05,080
Remember the time
I bet against you
419
00:19:05,120 --> 00:19:06,210
in little league?
420
00:19:06,250 --> 00:19:07,290
No.
421
00:19:08,030 --> 00:19:10,280
Well, that's 'cause
I didn't tell you,
422
00:19:11,020 --> 00:19:14,140
but with the money
I won on that bet,
423
00:19:14,180 --> 00:19:17,180
I bought you that
beautiful Raleigh racer,
424
00:19:17,220 --> 00:19:18,150
remember?
425
00:19:18,190 --> 00:19:20,150
Ooh, I loved that bike.
426
00:19:20,190 --> 00:19:24,030
I was so sad when it got stolen.
427
00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:27,260
Well, it, uh...
428
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:29,260
It didn't exactly get stolen.
429
00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:31,260
You see, I, um...
430
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:35,250
I kind of needed that
money to bet on a horse,
431
00:19:35,290 --> 00:19:39,120
a horse I could have
beaten on your bike.
432
00:19:40,140 --> 00:19:42,110
But the main thing is,
433
00:19:42,150 --> 00:19:44,260
because you didn't have a bike,
434
00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:47,110
you had to trot
to school every day.
435
00:19:47,150 --> 00:19:50,010
Therefore, you built up
your leg muscles,
436
00:19:50,050 --> 00:19:53,160
got on the track team,
got a varsity letter,
437
00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:55,290
then all the girls wanted you.
438
00:19:56,030 --> 00:19:58,110
So if I didn't bet against you
439
00:19:58,150 --> 00:19:59,280
in little league,
440
00:20:00,020 --> 00:20:03,000
hey, today you might
still be a virgin.
441
00:20:04,150 --> 00:20:07,180
Pop, how can I ever thank you?
442
00:20:10,280 --> 00:20:12,130
By believing me.
443
00:20:13,140 --> 00:20:15,070
That's the only way?
444
00:20:15,110 --> 00:20:17,050
I'm afraid so.
445
00:20:27,140 --> 00:20:29,230
If you didn't sell Mr. Fluffy,
446
00:20:29,270 --> 00:20:31,090
then he's out there,
447
00:20:31,130 --> 00:20:33,240
wandering the streets alone.
448
00:20:33,280 --> 00:20:35,080
We got to find him.
449
00:20:35,120 --> 00:20:38,240
You're right. We ain't
coming back until we do.
450
00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:40,230
We're going
to search every alley
451
00:20:40,270 --> 00:20:42,090
and every garbage can.
452
00:20:42,130 --> 00:20:45,090
We're not going
to sleep in a warm bed
453
00:20:45,130 --> 00:20:48,090
until our little baby
wussy foosy cat does.
454
00:20:48,130 --> 00:20:49,270
Let's go get him.
455
00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:58,140
[TV turns on]
456
00:21:02,030 --> 00:21:04,050
Captioning performed by
the national captioning
457
00:21:04,090 --> 00:21:05,090
institute, inc.
458
00:21:18,250 --> 00:21:20,160
Public performance of captions
prohibited without permission of
459
00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:21,170
national captioning institute
460
00:21:21,210 --> 00:21:24,200
captions copyright 1991
elp communications
30755
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