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1
00:00:34,033 --> 00:00:36,826
[ muffled,
discordant notes play]
2
00:00:36,896 --> 00:00:37,723
Huh?
3
00:00:40,862 --> 00:00:44,758
I choose to not understand
these signs.
4
00:00:45,619 --> 00:00:47,067
Aha!
5
00:00:47,137 --> 00:00:48,481
Uh, B-Bender!
6
00:00:48,551 --> 00:00:50,310
I-I was just not playing
the holophonor!
7
00:00:50,378 --> 00:00:52,689
Yeah? Well, you should try
not stinking at it.
8
00:00:52,758 --> 00:00:54,103
Well, I am trying.
9
00:00:54,171 --> 00:00:55,551
I've been taking lessons.
10
00:00:55,619 --> 00:00:57,103
Lessons? That's rich!
11
00:00:57,171 --> 00:00:59,274
Isn't it time you
gave up all hope
12
00:00:59,344 --> 00:01:01,551
of ever improving
yourself in any way?
13
00:01:01,619 --> 00:01:03,689
I know I should,
but I just can't.
14
00:01:03,758 --> 00:01:07,000
Remember when I had
those stomach worms
that made me smart?
15
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:09,379
I could play the holophonor,
and it made Leela like me.
16
00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:12,965
Hey, Bender,
as long as you know
17
00:01:13,034 --> 00:01:14,826
I have a holophonor
recital Tuesday
18
00:01:14,896 --> 00:01:17,103
and I'd really like
to have somebody there.
19
00:01:17,171 --> 00:01:17,930
Please?
20
00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:20,137
Fine, I'll go
already.
21
00:01:20,206 --> 00:01:23,655
You know, sometimes I
wish your real parents
were still alive.
22
00:01:23,724 --> 00:01:25,724
Not often, though.
23
00:01:25,793 --> 00:01:26,655
Mmm...
24
00:01:28,551 --> 00:01:30,930
BOTH:
Whoa, whoa.
25
00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:31,793
Hey!
26
00:01:31,861 --> 00:01:33,723
[ groans]
27
00:01:33,793 --> 00:01:35,137
[ indistinct chatter]
28
00:01:35,206 --> 00:01:37,000
Uh, hello, Mrs. Mellinger.
29
00:01:37,067 --> 00:01:37,930
Hello, Philip.
30
00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:39,930
And you must be
Mr. Bender.
31
00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:42,412
Philip's told me
so much about you.
32
00:01:42,481 --> 00:01:44,620
Is it true that
you're a robot?
33
00:01:44,688 --> 00:01:46,585
I prefer the term "lovemachine."
34
00:01:46,655 --> 00:01:47,930
[ purrs]
35
00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:50,688
[ playing "Fur Elise"
skillfully]
36
00:02:05,896 --> 00:02:06,965
[ tone rings]
37
00:02:07,034 --> 00:02:08,103
[ tone rings]
38
00:02:08,171 --> 00:02:09,275
[ applause]
39
00:02:09,343 --> 00:02:10,688
Wow, your kid
is great.
40
00:02:10,758 --> 00:02:12,793
How hard did you say
you had to hit him?
41
00:02:12,861 --> 00:02:14,896
Fairly hard.
42
00:02:18,413 --> 00:02:20,000
[ chair squeaks]
43
00:02:20,068 --> 00:02:22,033
[ clears throat]:
"The Grumpy Snail."
44
00:02:23,826 --> 00:02:25,896
[ playing simple melody]
45
00:02:27,793 --> 00:02:28,758
[ flat note]
46
00:02:28,826 --> 00:02:30,688
[ growls]Sorry.
47
00:02:32,550 --> 00:02:35,067
[ playing discordantly][ snail choking]
48
00:02:35,137 --> 00:02:37,067
[ growling]
49
00:02:37,137 --> 00:02:38,688
[ gasping]
50
00:02:38,758 --> 00:02:40,620
[ screaming]
51
00:02:40,688 --> 00:02:44,206
It's toogrumpy![ playing discordantly]
52
00:02:44,275 --> 00:02:46,206
Ooh! Hey!
53
00:02:46,275 --> 00:02:49,206
[ audience booing]
54
00:02:49,275 --> 00:02:50,586
Whoo!
55
00:02:50,655 --> 00:02:53,965
Mr. Bender, I simply
cannot teach your child!
56
00:02:54,033 --> 00:02:55,826
Then good day, Madame!
57
00:02:58,343 --> 00:03:00,448
[ slams door]
58
00:03:00,516 --> 00:03:02,481
We hope to see you soon for tea.
59
00:03:02,550 --> 00:03:03,586
[ slams door]
60
00:03:04,723 --> 00:03:06,033
FRY:
It's hopeless.
61
00:03:06,103 --> 00:03:08,103
I can hear all this
great music in my head
62
00:03:08,171 --> 00:03:10,171
but my stupid hands
can't keep up.
63
00:03:10,240 --> 00:03:11,931
Aw, you know what
always cheers me up?
64
00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:14,103
Laughing at other people's
misfortunes.
65
00:03:14,171 --> 00:03:15,586
[ laughs]
66
00:03:15,655 --> 00:03:18,655
Hey, guys, you missed a great
delivery to Space Earth.
67
00:03:18,723 --> 00:03:20,655
Where you been all afternoon?
68
00:03:20,723 --> 00:03:22,103
At a-a concert.
69
00:03:22,171 --> 00:03:23,310
Ooh, was it jazz noodling?
70
00:03:23,378 --> 00:03:25,688
My ex-boyfriend Sean
played the sax.
71
00:03:25,758 --> 00:03:27,343
I used to listen for hours
72
00:03:27,413 --> 00:03:30,378
while he sat naked on my couch
and improvised.
73
00:03:30,448 --> 00:03:33,550
So, musicians really
Rodger your Hammerstein, huh?
74
00:03:33,620 --> 00:03:36,758
Yeah, it's weird-- Sean was
uneducated, unambitious
75
00:03:36,826 --> 00:03:38,448
he was pasty and hunched...
76
00:03:38,516 --> 00:03:39,896
[ under breath]:
Pretty boy.
77
00:03:39,965 --> 00:03:41,758
...but when he played
78
00:03:41,826 --> 00:03:45,481
I could sense this incredible,
beautiful, creative soul.
79
00:03:45,550 --> 00:03:50,240
Then one day, I found someone
else's couch fibers on his butt.
80
00:03:50,310 --> 00:03:52,240
[ angry muttering]
81
00:03:52,310 --> 00:03:54,103
That could be my
beautiful soul
82
00:03:54,171 --> 00:03:55,965
sitting naked
on her couch
83
00:03:56,033 --> 00:03:58,137
if I could just
learn to play this
stupid thing.
84
00:03:58,206 --> 00:03:59,723
Oh, but you can!
85
00:03:59,793 --> 00:04:01,516
Though you may have
to metaphorically
86
00:04:01,586 --> 00:04:02,826
make a deal
with the Devil.
87
00:04:02,895 --> 00:04:05,000
And by "Devil,"
I mean Robot Devil.
88
00:04:05,068 --> 00:04:07,965
And by "metaphorically,"
I mean get your coat.
89
00:04:08,033 --> 00:04:10,723
[ all screaming]
90
00:04:10,793 --> 00:04:14,688
[ band plays "Welcome to Robot Hell"]
91
00:04:14,758 --> 00:04:16,447
[ groans]
92
00:04:16,516 --> 00:04:19,310
You hit a sour note about
200 years back, Doug!
93
00:04:19,379 --> 00:04:21,067
Let's take it
from the top.
94
00:04:22,379 --> 00:04:23,343
[ grunting]
95
00:04:23,413 --> 00:04:24,862
Ah, Bender, Fry!
96
00:04:24,930 --> 00:04:27,862
You've come back for more
eternal damnation.
97
00:04:27,930 --> 00:04:30,033
No, this isn't
a religious visit.
98
00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:32,206
Fry just wants holophonor
lessons.
99
00:04:32,274 --> 00:04:34,310
Yep. I need to get
really good without practicing.
100
00:04:34,379 --> 00:04:36,481
[ fiendish laughter]
101
00:04:36,550 --> 00:04:38,206
Hell is full
of 10-year-olds
102
00:04:38,274 --> 00:04:40,379
who wanted exactly
the same thing!
103
00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:43,965
Trouble is, you have
what my old music teacher
104
00:04:44,033 --> 00:04:47,206
Mrs. Mellinger,
calls "Stupid Fingers."
105
00:04:47,274 --> 00:04:48,550
With hands like that
106
00:04:48,620 --> 00:04:50,930
you'll be lucky
to master a belt buckle.
107
00:04:52,550 --> 00:04:55,930
Now, wouldn't it be nice
if you had a pair of robot hands
108
00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:57,240
to replace them?
109
00:04:57,310 --> 00:04:58,447
Sure would.
110
00:04:58,516 --> 00:05:00,620
Oh, well.
Good-bye.
111
00:05:00,689 --> 00:05:02,137
Fry, you smelly idiot!
112
00:05:02,206 --> 00:05:03,964
I think he's willing
to make some kind
113
00:05:04,033 --> 00:05:06,033
of a deal with
the Devil with you.
114
00:05:06,103 --> 00:05:07,343
He-He is? Great!
115
00:05:07,413 --> 00:05:09,310
Wait-- what's the catch?
116
00:05:09,379 --> 00:05:10,620
No catch.
117
00:05:10,689 --> 00:05:12,240
I'll merely pick
a robot at random
118
00:05:12,310 --> 00:05:14,310
from somewhere
in the universe--
119
00:05:14,379 --> 00:05:15,793
probably one
you've never even met--
120
00:05:15,862 --> 00:05:17,481
and then I'll
remove his hands
121
00:05:17,550 --> 00:05:18,930
and switch them
for yours.
122
00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:21,343
It's just the sort of guy I am.
123
00:05:21,413 --> 00:05:22,654
What do you say?
124
00:05:22,723 --> 00:05:24,033
Um, I don't know.
125
00:05:24,103 --> 00:05:25,723
It doesn't seem
entirely moral to...
126
00:05:25,793 --> 00:05:27,793
Fry, if you don't
take this offer
right now
127
00:05:27,862 --> 00:05:30,516
I will lose all respect
for you and punch you.
128
00:05:30,586 --> 00:05:32,274
[ fiendish chuckle]
129
00:05:32,343 --> 00:05:34,274
Well... all right.
130
00:05:34,343 --> 00:05:36,343
You're sure I
probably won't know him?
131
00:05:36,413 --> 00:05:37,723
Definitely
probably not.
132
00:05:37,793 --> 00:05:39,274
Just sign
this contract...
133
00:05:39,343 --> 00:05:40,240
Wow.
134
00:05:40,310 --> 00:05:42,274
[ pen squeaking]
135
00:05:42,343 --> 00:05:44,481
And here we go!
136
00:05:44,550 --> 00:05:47,067
[ cackling]
137
00:05:47,137 --> 00:05:49,654
I got a hundred bucks
on Rectal-Exam-Bot!
138
00:06:05,516 --> 00:06:06,654
[ screams]
139
00:06:06,723 --> 00:06:08,103
"Robot Devil?"
140
00:06:08,172 --> 00:06:10,274
I get yourhands? 'Zam!
141
00:06:10,343 --> 00:06:13,206
Oh, what an appallingly
ironic outcome!
142
00:06:13,274 --> 00:06:15,793
It's not ironic.
It's just coincidental.
143
00:06:15,862 --> 00:06:18,172
Now fork over those
ladyfingers, cookie.
144
00:06:18,240 --> 00:06:21,033
[ sighs]
145
00:06:21,103 --> 00:06:22,896
You know, I only
put my name on there
146
00:06:22,964 --> 00:06:25,067
as a show of good faith
for the other robots.
147
00:06:25,137 --> 00:06:27,930
Stop being such a baby
and chop my hands off.
148
00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:29,586
Oh, very well.
149
00:06:31,757 --> 00:06:33,689
How'd you do that?
150
00:06:33,757 --> 00:06:36,137
They're very good hands.
151
00:06:36,206 --> 00:06:37,862
At last!
152
00:06:37,930 --> 00:06:39,793
At last I have the power
to make Leela love me.
153
00:06:39,862 --> 00:06:42,481
[ gagging]
154
00:06:42,550 --> 00:06:44,896
Oh, sorry.
That'll wear off
in a couple of days.
155
00:06:44,965 --> 00:06:46,757
[ choking]
156
00:06:51,689 --> 00:06:52,930
Check it out,
everyone.
157
00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:54,310
I'm back from Hell
158
00:06:54,379 --> 00:06:56,067
and I've got
the Robot Devil's hands.
159
00:06:56,137 --> 00:06:58,206
Neat! Let's see a trick.
160
00:06:58,274 --> 00:06:59,516
All righty.
161
00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:00,757
[ startled yelling]
162
00:07:00,826 --> 00:07:03,379
[ yelling gibberish]
163
00:07:03,447 --> 00:07:06,274
Somebody called
the Robot Devil's here
164
00:07:06,343 --> 00:07:08,240
to see somebody
called Fry.
165
00:07:08,310 --> 00:07:09,654
Uh-oh.
166
00:07:10,793 --> 00:07:13,067
Where'd I go just now?
167
00:07:14,413 --> 00:07:16,447
Hello, Fry.
168
00:07:16,516 --> 00:07:18,240
[ fiendish laughter]
169
00:07:18,310 --> 00:07:19,964
Just dropped by
to make sure
170
00:07:20,033 --> 00:07:22,826
you're as happy
with our little deal as I am.
171
00:07:22,896 --> 00:07:26,274
Oh... give me back my hands!
172
00:07:26,343 --> 00:07:30,103
These things are always
touching me in places.
173
00:07:30,172 --> 00:07:31,447
[ sniggering]
174
00:07:31,516 --> 00:07:32,965
Yeah, they get around.
175
00:07:33,033 --> 00:07:34,862
But I'm afraid we had a deal.
176
00:07:34,930 --> 00:07:37,343
Oh! Looks like
I wasted a bus trip.
177
00:07:37,413 --> 00:07:39,379
Yes, you did.
178
00:07:42,274 --> 00:07:46,965
[ playing "The Grumpy Snail"]
179
00:07:50,310 --> 00:07:54,172
[ playing "Fur Elise"]
180
00:07:57,240 --> 00:07:58,862
[ pained yelp]
181
00:07:58,930 --> 00:08:03,274
[ orchestra playing "Bolero"]
182
00:08:09,896 --> 00:08:11,516
[ cheering]
183
00:08:13,586 --> 00:08:17,103
Yes, now you can hear
holophonor virtuoso Philip Fry
184
00:08:17,172 --> 00:08:20,447
play 900 of these classic themes
in your own home
185
00:08:20,516 --> 00:08:22,033
on this two-record set.
186
00:08:22,103 --> 00:08:25,137
That's over 30 minutes
of music for only $14.99.
187
00:08:25,206 --> 00:08:29,274
Only $14.99
for a two-record set.
188
00:08:29,343 --> 00:08:31,033
Two records!
189
00:08:31,103 --> 00:08:34,654
Oh, Zoidberg, at last you're
becoming a crafty consumer.
190
00:08:34,724 --> 00:08:35,965
MAN:
Hello.
191
00:08:36,033 --> 00:08:37,379
Hello? I'll take eight.
192
00:08:37,447 --> 00:08:38,793
[ doorbell ringing]
193
00:08:38,861 --> 00:08:42,000
A Mr. Hedonismbot
to see you.
194
00:08:42,067 --> 00:08:43,000
Uh, show him in.
195
00:08:43,067 --> 00:08:44,965
Very good, sir.
196
00:08:45,033 --> 00:08:46,793
Ah, Fry, congratulations.
197
00:08:46,861 --> 00:08:49,688
Your latest performance
was as delectable
198
00:08:49,758 --> 00:08:52,240
as dipping my bottom
over and over
199
00:08:52,309 --> 00:08:55,344
into a bath
of the silkiest oils and creams.
200
00:08:55,413 --> 00:08:56,826
Thank you, sir.
201
00:08:56,895 --> 00:08:57,965
That's exactly
what I was going for.
202
00:08:58,033 --> 00:09:00,000
You are the sole diversion
203
00:09:00,067 --> 00:09:03,447
in what has been
a pale and un-amusing season.
204
00:09:03,517 --> 00:09:07,172
And so, I would fain commission
you write an opera.
205
00:09:07,240 --> 00:09:08,965
But I've never written an opera.
206
00:09:09,033 --> 00:09:10,793
And I've never heard one.
207
00:09:10,861 --> 00:09:14,517
Still, if you can keep me amused
through the overture
208
00:09:14,586 --> 00:09:17,240
I shall consider it
a smashing success.
209
00:09:17,309 --> 00:09:19,688
But I wouldn't even know
what to write about.
210
00:09:19,758 --> 00:09:20,620
Unless...
211
00:09:20,688 --> 00:09:24,274
[ slurping]
212
00:09:25,551 --> 00:09:27,000
Okay, I'll do it
213
00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:29,344
ifI can make it about Leela.
214
00:09:29,413 --> 00:09:31,172
Me? Really?
215
00:09:31,240 --> 00:09:34,620
A man writing an
opera about a woman?
216
00:09:34,688 --> 00:09:35,965
[ airy laughter]
217
00:09:36,033 --> 00:09:38,620
Oh, sirrah, how
deliciously absurd.
218
00:09:38,688 --> 00:09:41,033
I shall see you
at the premiere.
219
00:09:41,102 --> 00:09:43,413
[ more airy laughter]
220
00:09:47,793 --> 00:09:51,274
[ ethereal, echoing,
alto sax-type riffs]
221
00:10:05,586 --> 00:10:06,586
Is it part of the opera?
222
00:10:06,654 --> 00:10:08,688
Leela!
You shouldn't be listening.
223
00:10:08,758 --> 00:10:11,172
I don't want you to hear it
till it's done.
224
00:10:11,240 --> 00:10:12,413
But it's so beautiful.
225
00:10:12,481 --> 00:10:13,826
So is a peacock
226
00:10:13,895 --> 00:10:15,793
but you don't eat it
until it's cooked.
227
00:10:15,861 --> 00:10:17,206
This has to be perfect.
228
00:10:17,274 --> 00:10:19,206
I want you to hear
exactly what I hear
229
00:10:19,274 --> 00:10:20,931
when I think about you.
230
00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:24,102
Oh, Fry, all this time
you've had this incredible gift
231
00:10:24,172 --> 00:10:25,861
and I never knew.
232
00:10:25,931 --> 00:10:29,309
I've been a fool--
a fully justified, prudent fool.
233
00:10:31,586 --> 00:10:32,724
[ screeches]
234
00:10:32,793 --> 00:10:34,067
They're so cold!
235
00:10:34,136 --> 00:10:35,965
ROBOT DEVIL:
And yet Hell is so hot!
236
00:10:36,033 --> 00:10:38,274
[ fiendish laughter]
237
00:10:38,344 --> 00:10:40,000
Can I have
my hands back now?
238
00:10:40,067 --> 00:10:41,067
No!
239
00:10:41,136 --> 00:10:42,826
You're not nice!
240
00:10:44,826 --> 00:10:48,102
[ tuneless humming]
241
00:10:48,172 --> 00:10:49,379
Hey!
242
00:10:49,447 --> 00:10:51,965
Ah, Bender,
this is a surprise...
243
00:10:52,033 --> 00:10:54,931
for you, finding me
in the refrigerator.
244
00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:57,309
True, but at least
I don't have the
hiccups anymore.
245
00:10:57,379 --> 00:10:58,481
What up?
246
00:10:58,551 --> 00:10:59,895
Oh, well, it so happens
247
00:10:59,965 --> 00:11:02,240
I'm in the mood
to make a deal with you.
248
00:11:02,309 --> 00:11:03,965
Forget it. you
can't tempt me.
249
00:11:04,033 --> 00:11:05,067
Really?
250
00:11:05,136 --> 00:11:06,895
There's nothingyou want?
251
00:11:06,965 --> 00:11:10,517
Hmm. I forgot you could tempt me
with things I want.
252
00:11:10,586 --> 00:11:12,379
Well, I suppose
I've always wondered
253
00:11:12,447 --> 00:11:14,895
what it would be like
to be more annoying.
254
00:11:14,965 --> 00:11:16,067
[ laughing]:
Oh...
255
00:11:16,136 --> 00:11:18,172
nothing simpler.
256
00:11:18,240 --> 00:11:21,240
And all I ask in return
is your hands
257
00:11:21,309 --> 00:11:23,793
to replace these bony hot dogs.
258
00:11:23,861 --> 00:11:25,206
Grabby and Squeezy?
259
00:11:25,274 --> 00:11:27,136
Never. I love these guys.
260
00:11:27,206 --> 00:11:30,136
Oh! Well, is there anything else
you would part with?
261
00:11:30,206 --> 00:11:33,240
No, nothing,
ain't going to happen.
262
00:11:34,688 --> 00:11:37,447
Yes! With this built-in
stadium air horn
263
00:11:37,517 --> 00:11:39,102
I can reallyannoy people
264
00:11:39,172 --> 00:11:42,033
and all it cost me
was my crotch plate.
265
00:11:42,102 --> 00:11:45,379
You certainly are
a shrewd businessman, Bender.
266
00:11:45,447 --> 00:11:48,620
Now, find someone
and give them a good blast.
267
00:11:48,688 --> 00:11:51,517
Yeah, that will teach
the first person I see a lesson.
268
00:11:51,586 --> 00:11:52,793
[ door opens]
269
00:11:52,861 --> 00:11:55,654
Ah, my ridiculously
circuitous plan
270
00:11:55,724 --> 00:11:57,586
is one quarter complete.
271
00:11:57,654 --> 00:12:00,931
[ fiendish laughter]
272
00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:03,344
Well, Fry's opera
premieres tomorrow night.
273
00:12:03,413 --> 00:12:05,481
I'm off to find a
pair of formal gloves
274
00:12:05,551 --> 00:12:07,481
that will fit over
my enormous forearms.
275
00:12:07,551 --> 00:12:10,033
[ air horn blasting]
276
00:12:12,240 --> 00:12:13,413
[ laughing]
277
00:12:13,481 --> 00:12:14,826
Pretty annoying, huh, Leela?
278
00:12:14,895 --> 00:12:17,206
What? Are you talking?
279
00:12:17,274 --> 00:12:18,895
Oh, God, I'm deaf!
280
00:12:18,965 --> 00:12:21,274
Oops. I'm so, so sorry, Leela.
281
00:12:21,344 --> 00:12:23,447
I just wanted to annoy you.
282
00:12:23,517 --> 00:12:25,758
What? Oh, this is horrible!
283
00:12:25,826 --> 00:12:28,793
I won't be able
to hear Fry's opera!
284
00:12:28,861 --> 00:12:30,826
[ sobbing]
285
00:12:30,895 --> 00:12:33,413
Ah, how delightfully ironic.
286
00:12:33,481 --> 00:12:34,895
It's not ironic.
287
00:12:34,965 --> 00:12:36,172
It's just mean.
288
00:12:36,240 --> 00:12:37,620
Take this!
289
00:12:37,688 --> 00:12:38,895
[ air horn blast fizzles out]
290
00:12:38,965 --> 00:12:41,481
Ooh, out of aerosol.
291
00:12:41,551 --> 00:12:43,067
Also ironic.
292
00:12:43,136 --> 00:12:44,274
Oh, yeah?
293
00:12:44,344 --> 00:12:46,517
Well, bite my shiny metal...
294
00:12:46,586 --> 00:12:48,240
Oh, no!!!
295
00:12:48,309 --> 00:12:51,931
.
296
00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:58,758
.
297
00:12:58,826 --> 00:13:00,447
Nobody tell
Fry I'm deaf.
298
00:13:00,517 --> 00:13:02,861
If he found
out I couldn't
hear his opera
299
00:13:02,931 --> 00:13:04,102
it'd break
his heart.
300
00:13:04,172 --> 00:13:05,481
Okay, deaf-o.
301
00:13:05,551 --> 00:13:06,724
[ whirring]
302
00:13:06,793 --> 00:13:09,447
Courtesans and gentlefops
303
00:13:09,517 --> 00:13:12,274
I bid you welcome
to myopera.
304
00:13:12,344 --> 00:13:15,793
Let us cavort
like the Greeks of old.
305
00:13:15,861 --> 00:13:18,172
You know the ones
I mean.
306
00:13:18,240 --> 00:13:21,551
[ orchestra tuning up]
307
00:13:21,620 --> 00:13:22,688
[ baton tapping stand]
308
00:13:22,758 --> 00:13:24,447
[ audience gasping]
309
00:13:24,517 --> 00:13:25,586
[ applause and cheers]
310
00:13:25,654 --> 00:13:26,688
Yay, Fry.
311
00:13:26,758 --> 00:13:28,724
I watch TV with that guy.
312
00:13:31,895 --> 00:13:34,654
[ orchestra plays]
313
00:13:38,895 --> 00:13:42,102
[ wind instrument solo]
314
00:13:43,861 --> 00:13:46,895
♪ Who is this one-eyed
female baby Moses? ♪
315
00:13:46,965 --> 00:13:50,481
♪ With courage in her
female baby smile? ♪
316
00:13:50,551 --> 00:13:52,206
♪ A savior from the stars♪
317
00:13:52,274 --> 00:13:54,102
♪ Or something stranger still?♪
318
00:13:54,172 --> 00:13:59,379
♪ Or just a lonely,
filthy, starving child? ♪
319
00:13:59,447 --> 00:14:01,136
Amy, Fry's looking at me.
320
00:14:01,206 --> 00:14:03,206
What am I supposed
to be feeling?
321
00:14:04,620 --> 00:14:05,654
Ah!
322
00:14:09,517 --> 00:14:11,447
♪ Leela! ♪
323
00:14:11,517 --> 00:14:13,033
♪ Leela, Leela! ♪
324
00:14:13,102 --> 00:14:14,309
♪ Save him! ♪
325
00:14:14,379 --> 00:14:16,000
♪ Save Fry, save Fry! ♪
326
00:14:16,067 --> 00:14:19,481
♪ Godzilla will devour him ♪
327
00:14:19,551 --> 00:14:21,172
♪ As for me,
I must be off ♪
328
00:14:21,240 --> 00:14:23,654
♪ To have my doctor
check this cough ♪
329
00:14:23,724 --> 00:14:24,758
[ coughing]
330
00:14:24,826 --> 00:14:26,240
♪ Good-bye! ♪
331
00:14:28,206 --> 00:14:30,620
I don't recall
ever fighting Godzilla
332
00:14:30,688 --> 00:14:33,000
but that is so
what I would have done.
333
00:14:33,067 --> 00:14:34,688
Oh, it was
a lovely show.
334
00:14:34,758 --> 00:14:36,274
[ crowd chatting]
335
00:14:36,344 --> 00:14:37,654
[ laughing]
336
00:14:37,724 --> 00:14:40,102
One diet double
Martini, please.
337
00:14:40,172 --> 00:14:41,551
And for you, sir?
338
00:14:41,620 --> 00:14:43,447
I'll just have
a Shirley Hemphill.
339
00:14:43,517 --> 00:14:45,000
Extra, extra!
340
00:14:45,067 --> 00:14:48,033
World's greatest opera
only half over!
341
00:14:48,102 --> 00:14:49,240
Half over?
342
00:14:49,309 --> 00:14:50,620
Oh!
343
00:14:50,688 --> 00:14:52,344
I'd give anything
to hear the rest.
344
00:14:52,413 --> 00:14:53,620
Anything?
345
00:14:53,688 --> 00:14:54,826
[ gasps]
346
00:14:54,895 --> 00:14:56,000
[ glass breaking]
347
00:14:56,067 --> 00:14:57,000
Thank you, sir.
348
00:14:57,067 --> 00:14:58,379
Now, as I was saying...
349
00:14:58,447 --> 00:15:00,136
Anything?
350
00:15:00,206 --> 00:15:03,240
Because I can give you
newrobotic ears.
351
00:15:03,309 --> 00:15:04,517
What?
352
00:15:04,586 --> 00:15:05,724
You can give me new ears?
353
00:15:05,793 --> 00:15:07,447
Wait.
354
00:15:07,517 --> 00:15:09,481
What seemingly reasonable thing
do you want in return?
355
00:15:09,551 --> 00:15:11,931
Just your hands,
my dear.
356
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:13,688
Whatever you said, forget it!
357
00:15:13,758 --> 00:15:14,931
All right, then.
358
00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:16,033
Just one hand.
359
00:15:16,102 --> 00:15:18,586
Just... my left hand?
360
00:15:18,654 --> 00:15:20,413
Um... uh...
361
00:15:20,481 --> 00:15:22,240
USHER:
Please take your
seats for Act Two.
362
00:15:22,309 --> 00:15:24,447
HEDONISMBOT:
But I'm not
done vomiting!
363
00:15:24,517 --> 00:15:25,688
[ airy laugh]
364
00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:27,931
Oh, Daddy, I love...
365
00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:29,102
I can't stand it!
366
00:15:29,172 --> 00:15:30,274
[ deep breath]
367
00:15:30,344 --> 00:15:32,517
Okay, you can have my hand.
368
00:15:32,586 --> 00:15:33,793
Wonderful!
369
00:15:33,861 --> 00:15:35,620
Just sign here.
370
00:15:35,688 --> 00:15:38,793
Calculon, old friend,
I'm afraid I need your ears.
371
00:15:38,861 --> 00:15:42,447
Well, I do owe
you for giving
me this unholy...
372
00:15:42,517 --> 00:15:45,826
acting talent!
373
00:15:48,965 --> 00:15:51,793
[ ethereal music plays]
374
00:15:51,861 --> 00:15:53,033
I can hear!
375
00:15:53,102 --> 00:15:55,102
I can hear
like a safecracker.
376
00:15:55,172 --> 00:15:57,517
Hey, aren't you going
to take my hand?
377
00:15:57,586 --> 00:16:00,136
In good time.
You go enjoy
the opera.
378
00:16:04,067 --> 00:16:06,413
[ music plays]
379
00:16:06,481 --> 00:16:09,895
♪ To win Leela's heart
with the holophonor's art ♪
380
00:16:09,965 --> 00:16:13,102
♪ I need hands
of transcendental quickness ♪
381
00:16:13,172 --> 00:16:15,172
♪ Well, I don't
see any danger ♪
382
00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:18,172
♪ In gambling
with a stranger ♪
383
00:16:18,240 --> 00:16:22,136
♪ For my head is of
a most amazing thickness. ♪
384
00:16:22,206 --> 00:16:23,654
Ooh!
385
00:16:23,724 --> 00:16:24,965
[ laughter]
386
00:16:25,033 --> 00:16:27,654
[ angry groan]
387
00:16:27,724 --> 00:16:29,000
♪ I'm stupid,
I'm stupid ♪
388
00:16:29,067 --> 00:16:31,000
♪ I'm stupider
than you ♪
389
00:16:31,067 --> 00:16:34,309
♪ I'm stupider than you
in every way! ♪
390
00:16:34,379 --> 00:16:36,447
Stupider?
391
00:16:36,517 --> 00:16:38,000
Bah!
392
00:16:38,067 --> 00:16:40,172
This opera is as lousy
as it is brilliant.
393
00:16:40,240 --> 00:16:41,517
[ groans][ pained grunt]
394
00:16:41,586 --> 00:16:42,931
[ gasping]
395
00:16:45,620 --> 00:16:47,000
[ whimpers]
396
00:16:47,067 --> 00:16:48,931
Your lyrics lack subtlety.
397
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:50,447
You can't just
398
00:16:50,517 --> 00:16:52,586
have your characters announce
how they feel.
399
00:16:52,654 --> 00:16:54,620
That makes me feel angry.
400
00:16:54,688 --> 00:16:56,344
Look, what do
you want?
401
00:16:56,413 --> 00:16:59,000
♪ I want my hands back. ♪
402
00:16:59,067 --> 00:17:01,517
[ fiendish laughter]
403
00:17:01,586 --> 00:17:03,136
Never!
404
00:17:03,206 --> 00:17:04,448
♪ A deal's a deal ♪
405
00:17:04,517 --> 00:17:06,481
♪ Even with a dirty dealer ♪
406
00:17:06,550 --> 00:17:08,103
♪ Very well ♪
407
00:17:08,172 --> 00:17:11,689
♪ Then I'll take
what I want from Leela. ♪
408
00:17:11,758 --> 00:17:13,448
Whoa!
409
00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:17,275
♪ Leela has promised me
her hand ♪
410
00:17:17,344 --> 00:17:18,586
[ all gasping]
411
00:17:18,654 --> 00:17:22,862
♪ Fry, you do not understand! ♪
412
00:17:22,931 --> 00:17:24,964
♪ I should have revealed ♪
413
00:17:25,034 --> 00:17:26,931
♪ I'd been deafened by Bender ♪
414
00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:28,448
♪ The shame ♪
415
00:17:28,517 --> 00:17:30,067
♪ The shame! ♪
416
00:17:30,136 --> 00:17:32,034
♪ But I feared
you'd stop writing ♪
417
00:17:32,103 --> 00:17:34,067
♪ This musical splendor ♪
418
00:17:34,136 --> 00:17:38,205
♪ Deception's the curse
of my whimsical gender ♪
419
00:17:38,275 --> 00:17:41,550
♪ He gave me mechanical ears ♪
420
00:17:41,619 --> 00:17:44,758
♪ Effective,
though just a bit garish ♪
421
00:17:44,826 --> 00:17:48,034
♪ In return
without shedding a tear ♪
422
00:17:48,103 --> 00:17:51,448
♪ I agreed
that I'd give him my hand ♪
423
00:17:51,517 --> 00:17:53,378
♪ In marriage! ♪
424
00:17:53,448 --> 00:17:55,000
Huh?What?
425
00:17:55,067 --> 00:17:58,723
♪ You'll give me your hand
in marriage ♪
426
00:17:58,792 --> 00:18:00,413
♪ Is this really
happening ♪
427
00:18:00,481 --> 00:18:02,481
♪ Or just being staged? ♪
428
00:18:02,550 --> 00:18:03,792
♪ It can't be real ♪
429
00:18:03,862 --> 00:18:05,758
♪ Not if Leela
is engaged ♪
430
00:18:05,826 --> 00:18:07,448
♪ That isn't what I meant ♪
431
00:18:07,517 --> 00:18:09,205
♪ That isn't what I signed ♪
432
00:18:09,275 --> 00:18:11,205
♪ You should have
checked the wording ♪
433
00:18:11,275 --> 00:18:13,378
♪ In the fine... ♪
434
00:18:13,448 --> 00:18:15,172
♪ Print ♪
435
00:18:15,240 --> 00:18:17,517
"I'll give you my hand... "
436
00:18:17,586 --> 00:18:20,136
♪ In marriage! ♪
437
00:18:20,205 --> 00:18:22,586
♪ The use of words
expressing something other ♪
438
00:18:22,654 --> 00:18:25,103
♪ Than their literal intention ♪
439
00:18:25,172 --> 00:18:29,172
♪ Now that is irony ♪
440
00:18:29,240 --> 00:18:30,792
[ gasping and grunting]
441
00:18:30,862 --> 00:18:34,309
♪ I will marry her now
and confine her to Hell ♪
442
00:18:34,378 --> 00:18:35,481
♪ How droll! ♪
443
00:18:35,550 --> 00:18:36,723
♪ How droll! ♪
444
00:18:36,792 --> 00:18:38,344
[ grunts]
445
00:18:38,413 --> 00:18:41,619
♪ Where Styx is a river
and not just a band ♪
446
00:18:41,689 --> 00:18:43,309
♪ Though they'll play
our reception ♪
447
00:18:43,378 --> 00:18:45,448
♪ If all goes as planned ♪
448
00:18:45,517 --> 00:18:50,654
♪ Unless Fry--
you surrender myhands! ♪
449
00:18:50,723 --> 00:18:52,862
[ dramatic orchestral
crescendo]
450
00:18:52,931 --> 00:18:55,034
[ quiet string and
percussion solo]
451
00:18:55,103 --> 00:18:57,481
♪ Destiny has cheated me ♪
452
00:18:57,550 --> 00:19:00,413
♪ By forcing me
to decide upon ♪
453
00:19:00,481 --> 00:19:03,586
♪ The woman that I idolize ♪
454
00:19:03,654 --> 00:19:06,964
♪ Or the hands of an automaton ♪
455
00:19:07,034 --> 00:19:09,034
♪ Without these hands
I can't complete ♪
456
00:19:09,103 --> 00:19:11,619
♪ The opera
that was captivating her ♪
457
00:19:11,689 --> 00:19:14,517
♪ But if keep them,
and she marries him ♪
458
00:19:14,586 --> 00:19:19,103
♪ Then he probably won't
want me dating her. ♪
459
00:19:19,172 --> 00:19:20,862
[ applause and cheering]Arooo!
460
00:19:20,931 --> 00:19:22,067
Brave-o!
461
00:19:22,136 --> 00:19:23,723
En-core!
462
00:19:23,792 --> 00:19:27,413
♪ I can't believe
the devil is so unforgiving ♪
463
00:19:27,481 --> 00:19:31,895
♪ I can't believe
everybody's just ad-libbing. ♪
464
00:19:31,964 --> 00:19:33,172
Oh. Ugh.
465
00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:36,275
♪ By the power vested in me ♪
466
00:19:36,344 --> 00:19:38,586
♪ By the state
of New New York... ♪
467
00:19:38,654 --> 00:19:41,136
No! Stop!
468
00:19:41,205 --> 00:19:42,586
Take my hands
469
00:19:42,654 --> 00:19:47,723
♪ You evil... metal... dork! ♪
470
00:19:47,792 --> 00:19:49,448
[ sobbing]
471
00:19:49,517 --> 00:19:50,862
[ fiendish laughter]
472
00:19:50,931 --> 00:19:52,654
[ gasps]
473
00:19:53,931 --> 00:19:55,586
Surgery in an opera?
474
00:19:55,654 --> 00:19:57,103
How wonderfully decadent!
475
00:19:57,172 --> 00:19:59,723
And just as I was beginning
to lose interest.
476
00:19:59,792 --> 00:20:03,654
Jambi, the chocolate icing!
477
00:20:03,723 --> 00:20:04,895
Oh!
478
00:20:04,964 --> 00:20:06,723
Oh, my, yes!
479
00:20:06,792 --> 00:20:07,723
[ giggling]
480
00:20:07,792 --> 00:20:09,136
Ooh.
481
00:20:09,205 --> 00:20:10,758
My hands!
482
00:20:10,826 --> 00:20:13,448
My horrible human hands!
483
00:20:13,517 --> 00:20:14,723
[ gasps]
484
00:20:14,792 --> 00:20:16,413
And what did you do
to my nails?
485
00:20:16,481 --> 00:20:18,034
I cleaned them.
486
00:20:18,103 --> 00:20:19,792
Now, if you'll
excuse me, it's
my poker night
487
00:20:19,862 --> 00:20:21,067
and I feel lucky.
488
00:20:21,136 --> 00:20:22,275
[ giggling]
489
00:20:22,344 --> 00:20:23,758
So it's back
to Hell for me!
490
00:20:23,826 --> 00:20:25,000
Come on, Nixon.
491
00:20:25,067 --> 00:20:26,240
Huh?
492
00:20:28,309 --> 00:20:29,586
[ muttering]
493
00:20:29,654 --> 00:20:30,517
[ Robot Devil chuckling]
494
00:20:30,586 --> 00:20:33,413
Less reality,
more fantasy!
495
00:20:33,481 --> 00:20:35,517
Resume the opera!
496
00:20:35,586 --> 00:20:37,481
But I can't play anymore!
497
00:20:37,550 --> 00:20:38,792
Yes, you can!
498
00:20:38,862 --> 00:20:40,067
The beauty was
in your heart
499
00:20:40,136 --> 00:20:41,862
not your hands.
500
00:20:46,862 --> 00:20:52,240
[ plays discordant notes]
501
00:20:52,309 --> 00:20:54,172
[ booing]
502
00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:56,895
Your music's bad,
and you should feel bad.
503
00:20:56,964 --> 00:20:58,103
[ booing]
504
00:20:58,172 --> 00:20:59,103
[ grunting]
505
00:20:59,172 --> 00:21:00,689
Ah, ooh!
506
00:21:00,758 --> 00:21:02,000
Whoa. Aah! Hey!
507
00:21:02,067 --> 00:21:03,000
Whoa-oh!
508
00:21:04,723 --> 00:21:06,240
Extra, extra!
509
00:21:06,309 --> 00:21:09,136
Greatest opera
of all time sucks!
510
00:21:09,205 --> 00:21:11,378
I'll take eight.
511
00:21:18,309 --> 00:21:20,344
[ footsteps echoing]
512
00:21:20,413 --> 00:21:24,000
LEELA:
Please don't stop playing, Fry.
513
00:21:24,067 --> 00:21:26,792
I want to hear how it ends.
514
00:21:34,826 --> 00:21:38,103
[ playing simple melody]
34243
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