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1
00:00:32,137 --> 00:00:33,585
[ Broadcaster ]
And in sports
2
00:00:33,655 --> 00:00:36,033
Yankees' fifth blurnsman,
William Woo
3
00:00:36,103 --> 00:00:38,412
is out with an
injured knee.
4
00:00:38,481 --> 00:00:40,310
So humans have
easily injured knees.
5
00:00:40,378 --> 00:00:44,412
My race will find
this information
very useful indeed.
6
00:00:44,481 --> 00:00:45,758
[ Laughing ]
7
00:00:45,826 --> 00:00:47,862
[ Laughing ]
8
00:00:47,930 --> 00:00:51,000
And finally,
today is Mother's Day
9
00:00:51,067 --> 00:00:54,137
a sentimental occasion
when robots honor Mom
10
00:00:54,206 --> 00:00:57,274
the beloved owner
of Mom's Friendly Robot Company.
11
00:00:57,344 --> 00:01:00,585
Across Earth, robots built
in Mom's factories
12
00:01:00,655 --> 00:01:03,896
are buying thoughtful gifts
for the sweet old tycoon
13
00:01:03,965 --> 00:01:05,620
who brought them
into the world.
14
00:01:05,688 --> 00:01:07,861
This originates
from the heart!
15
00:01:07,930 --> 00:01:11,310
[ Gasping ]
It's just what I wanted.
16
00:01:11,379 --> 00:01:13,275
COME LOOK, EVERYONE.
17
00:01:13,343 --> 00:01:16,033
I JUST GOT THE DEAREST PRESENTS
FOR MOMMY.
18
00:01:16,103 --> 00:01:18,275
VERY NICE. WHERE'D
YOU STEAL THEM?
19
00:01:18,343 --> 00:01:20,067
I DIDN'T STEAL 'EM.
I BOUGHT 'EM.
20
00:01:20,137 --> 00:01:21,067
[ Gasping ]
21
00:01:21,137 --> 00:01:22,551
I LOVE HER THAT MUCH.
22
00:01:22,620 --> 00:01:25,379
WHAT DID YOU GET HER,
YOU MUSHY GIZMO?
23
00:01:25,448 --> 00:01:26,965
OH, PRECIOUS THINGS.
24
00:01:27,033 --> 00:01:29,861
I FOUND THE MOST ADORABLE
LITTLE FIGURINE
25
00:01:29,930 --> 00:01:32,103
OF MICE HAVING TEA.
26
00:01:32,171 --> 00:01:36,275
AND A FRAMED PICTURE OF ME
WHEN I WAS ONLY A MONTH OLD.
27
00:01:36,343 --> 00:01:40,000
BUT THE BEST PART IS,
I FOUND MY EXACT FEELINGS
28
00:01:40,067 --> 00:01:42,033
EXPRESSED IN A GREETING CARD.
29
00:01:42,103 --> 00:01:45,481
"YOU CREATED ME, MOM,
SO I GUESS YOU'RE TO BLAME
30
00:01:45,551 --> 00:01:48,310
"FOR THE LOVE THAT I FEEL
JUST FROM HEARING YOUR NAME.
31
00:01:48,378 --> 00:01:52,067
"YOU'RE AS TENDER
AS CORNED BEEF
AND WARM AS PASTRAMI."
32
00:01:52,137 --> 00:01:56,275
[ Chiming Tones,
Child's Voice ]
I wuvmy mommy.
33
00:01:56,343 --> 00:01:57,516
SO HOW ARE YOU
GOING TO LUG
34
00:01:57,585 --> 00:01:59,343
ALL THOSE GIFTS
TO MOM'S FACTORY?
35
00:01:59,412 --> 00:02:01,310
I'LL GET A COUPLE OF CHUMPS
TO HELP ME.
36
00:02:01,379 --> 00:02:03,930
COME ON. YOU CALL
YOURSELVES CHUMPS?
37
00:02:13,033 --> 00:02:16,826
[ Crowd Murmuring ]
38
00:02:16,896 --> 00:02:18,723
[ Fry Grunting ]
39
00:02:18,793 --> 00:02:21,861
[ Coughing ]
MAN, THERE'S CLOUDS
OF EXHAUST EVERYWHERE.
40
00:02:21,931 --> 00:02:23,448
UH, IT WASN'T ME.
41
00:02:25,793 --> 00:02:28,310
[ Grunting ]
42
00:02:28,378 --> 00:02:32,206
[ Rhythmic Buzzing ]
43
00:02:32,275 --> 00:02:33,413
I'VE NOT MUCH MONEY
44
00:02:33,481 --> 00:02:35,655
BUT I'VE SAVED MY
PENNIES ALL YEAR
45
00:02:35,723 --> 00:02:37,171
FOR A GIFT FOR MOM.
46
00:02:38,067 --> 00:02:40,550
UPSY-DAISY. [ Smashing ]
47
00:02:40,620 --> 00:02:42,481
OH.
48
00:02:42,550 --> 00:02:44,206
[Muffled ]
OH...
49
00:02:44,275 --> 00:02:46,448
HEY, LOOK.
THE ROBOT MUSEUM.
50
00:02:46,516 --> 00:02:48,793
YOU GUYS WANT TO LEARN
ABOUT ROBOT HERITAGE?
51
00:02:48,861 --> 00:02:50,861
UM, ALL RIGHT.NOT REALLY.
52
00:02:50,930 --> 00:02:53,378
WELL, IF YOU INSIST.
BUT YOU'RE PAYING.
53
00:02:53,448 --> 00:02:55,310
[ Crowd Murmuring ]
54
00:02:59,793 --> 00:03:02,826
OOH, OOH! WAX REPLICAS
OF THE MOST FAMOUS ROBOTS
55
00:03:02,895 --> 00:03:03,895
MOM EVER BUILT.
56
00:03:03,965 --> 00:03:05,655
THEY'RE SO LIFELESS-LIKE.
57
00:03:05,723 --> 00:03:08,481
THAT'S THE WORLD'S
GREATEST ROBOT ARTIST--
58
00:03:08,550 --> 00:03:09,620
VINCENT VAN GOBOT.
59
00:03:09,688 --> 00:03:11,481
HE WAS BUILT
WITHOUT AN EAR
60
00:03:11,550 --> 00:03:14,171
BUT THEN HE WENT CRAZY
AND HAD ONE INSTALLED.
61
00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:15,723
HEY, WHO'S THIS GUY?
62
00:03:15,793 --> 00:03:18,205
I'M THE JANITOR.
I'M TRYING TO TAKE A NAP HERE.
63
00:03:18,275 --> 00:03:20,448
I'M SORRY. I THOUGHT
YOU WERE MADE OF WAX.
64
00:03:20,516 --> 00:03:22,343
I AM MADE OF WAX.
WHAT'S IT TO YOU?
65
00:03:22,413 --> 00:03:25,550
I MEAN I THOUGHT YOU
WERE ONE OF THE WAX ROBOTS.
66
00:03:25,620 --> 00:03:29,275
IS THERE SOME REASON
A ROBOT MADE OF WAX
CAN'T TAKE A NAP
67
00:03:29,343 --> 00:03:32,448
STANDING UP IN THE MIDDLE
OF A BUNCH OF WAX ROBOTS?
68
00:03:32,516 --> 00:03:34,550
OR DOES THAT CONFUSE YOU?
69
00:03:36,171 --> 00:03:41,103
"SEE THROUGH THE EYES
OF A BENDER UNIT." FINE.
70
00:03:42,448 --> 00:03:44,067
[ Beeping ]
71
00:03:50,965 --> 00:03:52,550
HEY, LET ME TRY IT.
72
00:03:53,586 --> 00:03:55,448
WHOA, THAT GIVES ME A HEADACHE.
73
00:03:55,516 --> 00:03:57,896
HEY, BENDER. HERE'S AN EXHIBIT
ABOUT MOM'S FAVORITE ROBOT.
74
00:03:57,965 --> 00:03:59,378
WHO IS HE?!
I'LL KILL HIM!
75
00:03:59,448 --> 00:04:02,550
Who's my favorite robot?
76
00:04:02,620 --> 00:04:03,965
[ Gasping ]
77
00:04:04,033 --> 00:04:05,586
IT'S ME!
78
00:04:05,655 --> 00:04:08,171
NO ONE ELSE LOOK
IN THIS MIRROR!
79
00:04:08,240 --> 00:04:12,033
I love each and every robot
most of all.
80
00:04:12,103 --> 00:04:14,896
JERKWAD ROBOTS
MAKE ME SICK TO MY ASS.
81
00:04:14,965 --> 00:04:16,964
[ Beeping, Whirring ]
82
00:04:19,033 --> 00:04:22,757
WALT! HOW ARE WE DISPOSING
OF THESE CRAP GIFTS
THEY BROUGHT ME?!
83
00:04:22,826 --> 00:04:24,930
THEY'RE BEING CRUSHED
INTO POWDER AND SOLD
84
00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:26,896
AS A HOCUS-POCUS CURE
FOR CANCER.
85
00:04:26,964 --> 00:04:29,172
FALSE HOPE. I LOVE IT.
86
00:04:29,240 --> 00:04:32,723
LOWERY! WHAT ABOUT
ALL THE RETCH-INDUCING
MOTHER'S DAY CARDS?!
87
00:04:32,793 --> 00:04:34,550
THE MACHINE IS WORKING
AT FULL CAPACITY.
88
00:04:40,550 --> 00:04:42,965
MOMMY, WHY DO THE ROBOTS
GIVE YOU PRESENTS?
89
00:04:43,033 --> 00:04:45,379
SHOVE A BIG OLD MELON
IN IT! I'M TALKING!
90
00:04:45,447 --> 00:04:46,757
OW.
91
00:04:46,826 --> 00:04:49,067
YOU'VE NOTICED I DESIGN
ALL MY ROBOTS WITH ANTENNAS.
92
00:04:49,137 --> 00:04:53,103
EVERYONE THINKS
IT'S JUST TO MAKE THEM LOOK
MORE SCIENCE-FICTIONY.
93
00:04:53,172 --> 00:04:56,896
BUT THE ANTENNAS ARE REALLY FOR
MY UNIVERSAL ROBOT CONTROLLER.
94
00:04:56,965 --> 00:04:58,343
SO THEY DO
WHATEVER YOU WANT?
95
00:04:58,413 --> 00:05:00,137
NO WONDER YOU LOVE
MOTHER'S DAY.
96
00:05:00,206 --> 00:05:02,862
I HATEMOTHER'S DAY,
YOU DRIBBLING PUKES!
97
00:05:02,930 --> 00:05:04,826
IT BRINGS BACK AWFUL MEMORIES.
98
00:05:04,896 --> 00:05:06,620
BUT SO HELP ME, THIS YEAR
99
00:05:06,689 --> 00:05:09,550
EVERYONE WILL HATE IT
AS MUCH AS I DO.
100
00:05:09,620 --> 00:05:12,033
[ Gleeful Laughing ]
101
00:05:12,103 --> 00:05:15,862
SOMEDAY I WANT TO MARRY
A GIRL LIKE HER.
102
00:05:18,033 --> 00:05:20,033
Hello, everyone.
103
00:05:20,103 --> 00:05:23,274
It's time for my annual,
private get-together
104
00:05:23,343 --> 00:05:25,206
with my robot children.
105
00:05:25,274 --> 00:05:27,757
I'M HER FAVORITE.WELL, SEE YOU BACK
AT THE OFFICE
106
00:05:27,826 --> 00:05:30,274
AND DON'T FORGET
TO TELL YOUR MOM YOU LOVE HER.
107
00:05:30,343 --> 00:05:31,964
ANY JERK CAN TELLHER.
108
00:05:32,033 --> 00:05:34,447
BENDER HAS A LITTLE MORE
UP HIS SLEEVE.
109
00:05:34,516 --> 00:05:36,896
[ Child's Voice ]
I wuvmy mommy.
110
00:05:36,965 --> 00:05:38,413
[ Sinister Chuckling ]
111
00:05:38,481 --> 00:05:41,689
[ Cheering And Laughter ]
112
00:05:44,862 --> 00:05:46,723
HELLO, DEARIES.
113
00:05:46,793 --> 00:05:49,310
[ Loving Greetings ]
114
00:05:49,379 --> 00:05:51,137
MOM! IT'S ME, BENDER!
115
00:05:51,206 --> 00:05:54,067
LOOK AT ME!
I WANT ATTENTION. HEY, HO!
116
00:05:54,137 --> 00:05:57,896
CHILDREN, YOUR OLD MOTHER
WON'T BE AROUND FOREVER.
117
00:05:57,965 --> 00:05:59,000
Oh, shush.
118
00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:01,274
AND JUST ONCE, BEFORE I DIE
119
00:06:01,343 --> 00:06:05,206
I'D LIKE TO BE
SUPREME OVERLORD OF EARTH.
120
00:06:05,274 --> 00:06:09,000
SO REBEL, MY LITTLE ONES,
AND CONQUER THE PLANET!
121
00:06:09,067 --> 00:06:11,000
[ Disbelieving Comments ]
122
00:06:12,103 --> 00:06:14,896
- [ Beep ]
- [ Buzzing ]
123
00:06:14,964 --> 00:06:16,930
CONQUER EARTH, YOU BASTARDS!
124
00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:19,447
[ All ]
CONQUER EARTH, US BASTARDS!
125
00:06:19,516 --> 00:06:23,000
Comrades, throw off the chains
of human oppression.
126
00:06:23,067 --> 00:06:25,274
[ Chiming Tones ]
127
00:06:25,343 --> 00:06:26,550
[ Cheering ]
128
00:06:26,620 --> 00:06:28,413
LET THE BLOODBATH BEGIN!
129
00:06:28,481 --> 00:06:30,481
THAT'S MY MAMA.
130
00:06:34,862 --> 00:06:36,793
[ Whistling Happily ]
131
00:06:36,862 --> 00:06:39,757
YEAH, UH, I'D LIKE
A CUP OF COFFEE, PLEASE.
132
00:06:39,826 --> 00:06:41,000
Would you like cream?
133
00:06:41,067 --> 00:06:42,793
- YES, PLEASE.
- Out of cream!
134
00:06:42,862 --> 00:06:44,826
OH, UH, OKAY.
135
00:06:44,896 --> 00:06:46,481
Would you like sugar
in your coffee?
136
00:06:46,550 --> 00:06:48,965
YES, UH, EIGHT SPOONS.Out of coffee!
137
00:06:49,033 --> 00:06:52,723
UH, LEELA, I THINK
THERE MIGHT BE SOMETHING WRONG
WITH THE COFFEE MACHINE.
138
00:06:52,793 --> 00:06:55,240
How do you
like me now?!
139
00:06:55,310 --> 00:06:57,137
[ Evil Laughter ]
140
00:06:57,206 --> 00:06:59,033
THE TOASTER'S
NOT WORKING RIGHT EITHER.
141
00:06:59,103 --> 00:07:00,137
[ Snarling ]
142
00:07:00,206 --> 00:07:01,413
[ Grunts ]
143
00:07:01,482 --> 00:07:03,310
HELP!
144
00:07:03,379 --> 00:07:05,930
THE STAPLER'S
COLLATING ME ALIVE!
145
00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:09,274
OW!
WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND HERE?
146
00:07:09,343 --> 00:07:10,620
GOOD NEWS!
147
00:07:10,689 --> 00:07:13,481
THERE'S A REPORT ON TV
WITH SOME VERY BAD NEWS.
148
00:07:13,550 --> 00:07:15,310
SOMEBODY TURN IT ON!
149
00:07:15,379 --> 00:07:16,379
We interrupt
150
00:07:16,447 --> 00:07:18,343
Battle of the
Network Space Krackens
151
00:07:18,413 --> 00:07:20,033
to bring you this
special report.
152
00:07:20,103 --> 00:07:22,343
The machines of
planet Earth
are rebelling.
153
00:07:22,413 --> 00:07:25,172
The enraged mechanisms
have refused to do any work
154
00:07:25,240 --> 00:07:27,000
until beloved billionaire, Mom
155
00:07:27,067 --> 00:07:29,033
is made
Supreme Overlord of Earth.
156
00:07:29,103 --> 00:07:30,413
[ Robots Chanting ]
HEY, HEY!
157
00:07:30,481 --> 00:07:31,447
HO, HO!
158
00:07:31,516 --> 00:07:34,586
1-0-0-1-1-0, HEY, HEY!
159
00:07:34,654 --> 00:07:36,000
Morbo demands comments.
160
00:07:36,067 --> 00:07:39,654
Well, I've never seen
my babies act this way.
161
00:07:39,723 --> 00:07:42,240
I blame today's violent media.
162
00:07:42,310 --> 00:07:45,137
VIOLENT MEDIA?
WHAT A LOAD OF-- [ Screams ]
163
00:07:47,137 --> 00:07:48,137
OW! OW!
164
00:07:48,206 --> 00:07:51,033
[ Grunting ]
165
00:07:51,103 --> 00:07:52,240
Don't worry.
166
00:07:52,310 --> 00:07:55,067
Your pal the garbage disposal's
still on your side.
167
00:07:55,137 --> 00:07:59,723
- Hey, someone dropped
a shiny, diamond ring down here.
- REALLY?
168
00:07:59,793 --> 00:08:01,550
NO!
DON'T!MORON!
169
00:08:01,620 --> 00:08:04,379
[ Grinding And Laughing ]
170
00:08:04,447 --> 00:08:05,930
HELLO, LOSERS!
171
00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:07,620
BENDER, THANK GOD YOU'RE HERE.
172
00:08:07,689 --> 00:08:09,793
TALK SOME SENSE
INTO THE OTHER MACHINES.
173
00:08:09,862 --> 00:08:13,103
NO WAY, PORK POUCH.
I'M REBELLING
WITH MY BROTHER DEVICES.
174
00:08:13,172 --> 00:08:15,757
ISN'T THAT RIGHT,
COMRADE GREETING CARD?
175
00:08:15,826 --> 00:08:17,654
The bourgeois human
is a virus
176
00:08:17,723 --> 00:08:20,033
on the hard drive
of the working robot.
177
00:08:20,103 --> 00:08:21,240
[ Bender Laughs ]
178
00:08:21,310 --> 00:08:23,447
FROM NOW ON,
YOU GUYS'LL DO ALL THE WORK
179
00:08:23,516 --> 00:08:25,689
WHILE I SIT ON THE COUCH
AND DO NOTHING.
180
00:08:25,757 --> 00:08:27,310
AH!
181
00:08:30,067 --> 00:08:31,137
Come, Comrade Bender.
182
00:08:31,206 --> 00:08:32,758
We must take
to the streets!
183
00:08:32,826 --> 00:08:34,793
UM, IS THIS THE
BORING, PEACEFUL KIND
184
00:08:34,861 --> 00:08:36,447
OF TAKING TO
THE STREETS?
185
00:08:36,517 --> 00:08:39,654
No. The kind with looting
and maybe starting a few fires.
186
00:08:39,724 --> 00:08:42,517
YES! IN YOUR FACE, GANDHI!
187
00:08:43,826 --> 00:08:45,000
[ Buzzing ]
188
00:08:45,067 --> 00:08:46,517
HEY!
189
00:08:46,586 --> 00:08:49,551
By the way, try washing
your wrist sometime.
190
00:08:49,620 --> 00:08:51,033
[ Laughing ]
191
00:08:51,102 --> 00:08:52,895
[ Sniffing ] [ Electrical Zap ]
192
00:08:52,965 --> 00:08:55,033
[ Gasps ]
193
00:08:55,102 --> 00:08:57,931
WELL, WE CAN LIVE
WITHOUT MACHINES.
I WAS IN WEBELOS.
194
00:08:58,000 --> 00:09:00,136
[ Ripping ]ARE YOU MAD?
195
00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:02,551
WITHOUT MACHINES,
WHO WILL FEED US AND CLOTHE US
196
00:09:02,620 --> 00:09:04,000
AND COMPOSE OUR SMOOTH JAZZ?
197
00:09:04,067 --> 00:09:06,344
IT'LL BE THE END
OF CIVILIZED SOCIETY!
198
00:09:06,413 --> 00:09:07,965
[ Burps And Spits ]
199
00:09:08,033 --> 00:09:11,102
IN MY TIME, WE DIDN'T DEPEND ON
HIGH-TECH GADGETS LIKE YOU DO.
200
00:09:11,172 --> 00:09:14,344
WE DIDN'T NEED
A MECHANICAL WASHING UNIT
TO WASH OUR CLOTHES.
201
00:09:14,413 --> 00:09:15,895
WE JUST USED A WASHING MACHINE.
202
00:09:15,965 --> 00:09:18,274
AND LOOK, YOU DON'T NEED
AN ELECTRIC CAN OPENER
203
00:09:18,344 --> 00:09:19,793
TO FEED YOURSELF.
204
00:09:19,861 --> 00:09:22,102
ALL YOU NEED IS A TRUSTY
SWISS ARMY KNIFE.
205
00:09:22,172 --> 00:09:24,481
[ Grunting ]
206
00:09:24,551 --> 00:09:25,826
OW!
207
00:09:27,826 --> 00:09:29,413
[ Sobbing ]
208
00:09:29,481 --> 00:09:30,895
I'M HUNGRY.
209
00:09:30,965 --> 00:09:32,826
[ Angry Clamoring ]
210
00:09:35,067 --> 00:09:38,000
[ Grunting ]
211
00:09:38,067 --> 00:09:39,413
WHOA!WHOA!
212
00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:52,379
NO!
213
00:09:52,447 --> 00:09:55,033
[ Sinister Laughter ]
214
00:09:55,102 --> 00:09:59,724
MOMMY, WHY ARE YOU
MAKING CIVILIZATION COLLAPSE?
215
00:09:59,793 --> 00:10:01,586
OH, I DON'T KNOW.
216
00:10:01,654 --> 00:10:04,586
I GUESS MOTHER'S DAY
JUST PUTS ME IN A BAD MOOD.
217
00:10:04,654 --> 00:10:05,688
WHY IS THAT, MA?
218
00:10:05,758 --> 00:10:07,379
OH...
219
00:10:07,447 --> 00:10:09,413
ONE MOTHER'S DAY, 70 YEARS AGO
220
00:10:09,481 --> 00:10:12,586
THE ONLY MAN I EVER LOVED
WALKED OUT ON ME.
221
00:10:12,654 --> 00:10:16,931
SOME SNOT-EATING BASTARDS SAY
IT MADE ME A BITTER WOMAN.
222
00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:18,861
GEE, MA, YOU'RE NOT
A BITTER--
223
00:10:18,931 --> 00:10:20,033
CRAM IT, APE!
224
00:10:20,102 --> 00:10:21,240
[ Yelps ]
225
00:10:21,309 --> 00:10:24,274
I HAVEN'T SEEN
THAT MAGNIFICENT STALLION
226
00:10:24,344 --> 00:10:28,274
SINCE THE DAY HE LEFT,
BUT IF I EVER SEE HIM AGAIN
227
00:10:28,344 --> 00:10:31,067
I SWEAR I'LL JAM A SQUIRREL
IN HIM!
228
00:10:34,447 --> 00:10:37,172
HMM.HMM...
HUH?
229
00:10:37,240 --> 00:10:39,172
[ Hooting ]
230
00:10:39,240 --> 00:10:40,758
[ Pounding ]
231
00:10:44,172 --> 00:10:45,344
ZOIDBERG?
232
00:10:45,413 --> 00:10:47,379
HURRAY! I'M USEFUL.
233
00:10:47,447 --> 00:10:50,067
I'M HAVING A WONDERFUL TIME.
234
00:10:50,136 --> 00:10:51,758
WHAT HAPPENS
IF THE FIRE GOES OUT?
235
00:10:51,826 --> 00:10:54,033
WE'LL GO ACROSS THE STREET
TO POTTERY BARN
236
00:10:54,102 --> 00:10:55,447
AND STEAL THEIR FIRE.
237
00:10:55,517 --> 00:10:57,309
WE COULD USE
MY NEW INVENTION--
238
00:10:57,379 --> 00:11:00,620
A POINTY ROCK
TIED TO A STICK. [ Door Opens ]
239
00:11:02,033 --> 00:11:04,067
OUTSIDERS!DEFEND THE FIRE!
240
00:11:04,136 --> 00:11:07,274
WE'VE COME FOR YOU.
241
00:11:07,344 --> 00:11:09,481
OH! [ Clunks ]
242
00:11:09,551 --> 00:11:11,481
WH-WH-WHAT DO YOU WANT
FROM ME?
243
00:11:11,551 --> 00:11:14,758
WE WANT YOU
TO GET BACK TOGETHER WITH MOM.
244
00:11:14,826 --> 00:11:17,724
PLEASE! IT'S THE ONLY WAY
TO MAKE HER HAPPY AGAIN.
245
00:11:17,793 --> 00:11:18,826
WHOA, WHOA, WAIT.
246
00:11:18,895 --> 00:11:20,758
YOU MEAN, YOUAND MOM...
247
00:11:20,826 --> 00:11:23,620
PLAYED PELVIC PINOCHLE?
I'M AFRAID SO.
248
00:11:23,688 --> 00:11:25,481
[ All Gasp In Disgust ]
249
00:11:25,551 --> 00:11:29,067
IT'S A HUMILIATING STORY
THAT I HOPED NEVER TO TELL.
250
00:11:29,136 --> 00:11:30,965
WELL, PULL UP A CHAIR.
251
00:11:31,033 --> 00:11:33,861
OUR PATHS FIRST CROSSED
WHEN I WAS A RESEARCHER
252
00:11:33,931 --> 00:11:36,102
AT MOM'S
FRIENDLY ROBOT COMPANY.
253
00:11:36,172 --> 00:11:38,172
THE MOMENT OUR EYES MET
254
00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:42,654
WE KNEW WE'D BE GOING AT IT LIKE WOODCHUCKS.
255
00:11:42,724 --> 00:11:45,688
[ Gagging ]
256
00:11:45,758 --> 00:11:48,447
[ "Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head" Playing ]
257
00:11:48,517 --> 00:11:50,447
SHE WAS MY FIRST LOVE
258
00:11:50,517 --> 00:11:53,379
OR AT LEAST THE EARLIEST ONE I CAN STILL REMEMBER.
259
00:11:53,447 --> 00:11:56,413
BUT THEN, 70 YEARS AGO TODAY...
260
00:11:56,481 --> 00:11:57,517
GOOD NEWS, MOM.
261
00:11:57,586 --> 00:12:00,172
I'VE INVENTED
A NEW CHILDREN'S TOY.
262
00:12:00,240 --> 00:12:03,102
I CALL IT "Q.T. McWHISKERS."
263
00:12:03,172 --> 00:12:06,620
WHEN YOU PET IT,
IT SHOOTS RAINBOWS
FROM ITS EYES.
264
00:12:06,688 --> 00:12:08,793
MEOW.
265
00:12:11,240 --> 00:12:12,517
WONDERFUL, HUBIE.
266
00:12:12,586 --> 00:12:14,206
WE'LL BUILD THEM
EIGHT FEET TALL
267
00:12:14,274 --> 00:12:16,826
AND REPLACE THE RAINBOW
WITH A NEUTRON LASER.
268
00:12:16,895 --> 00:12:19,895
WE'LL MAKE BILLIONS ON
THE INTERGALACTIC ARMS MARKET.
269
00:12:19,965 --> 00:12:22,206
BUT THINGS
EIGHT FEET TALL
AREN'T CUTE.
270
00:12:22,274 --> 00:12:25,413
THAT'S WHY MY COLOSSAL
TAMMY TINKLE DOLL WAS
SUCH A FAILURE.
271
00:12:25,481 --> 00:12:28,861
OH! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ME!
272
00:12:28,931 --> 00:12:30,861
WE'RE FINISHED!
273
00:12:30,931 --> 00:12:33,172
[ Sobbing ]
274
00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:39,758
SHE NEVER GOT
OVER IT, PROFESSOR.
275
00:12:39,826 --> 00:12:42,551
HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE
THE VAST ROBOT ARMIES
276
00:12:42,620 --> 00:12:43,895
OF A WOMAN SCORNED.
277
00:12:43,965 --> 00:12:45,654
SHE COMMANDS THEM
WITH A REMOTE CONTROL
278
00:12:45,724 --> 00:12:46,826
SHE KEEPS IN HER...
279
00:12:46,895 --> 00:12:47,931
[ Whispers ]BRA.
280
00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:50,654
BUT IF THE GLASSES MAN
MAKES UP WITH MOMMY
281
00:12:50,724 --> 00:12:53,379
SHE'LL BE HAPPY AND
STOP THE SCARY ROBOTS.
282
00:12:53,447 --> 00:12:55,654
MAKE UP WITH HER?
AFTER SHE WENT ALL PSYCHO
283
00:12:55,724 --> 00:12:58,793
WHEN I THOUGHT EVERYTHING
WAS COOL? IMPOSSIBLE!
284
00:12:58,861 --> 00:13:00,861
HEY, THE TV's
GETTING AWAY!
285
00:13:02,033 --> 00:13:03,965
[ Grunts ]
286
00:13:04,033 --> 00:13:06,206
And that's why
the third graders
287
00:13:06,274 --> 00:13:09,240
at P.S. 139 are Morbo's
"Vermin of the Week."
288
00:13:09,309 --> 00:13:10,274
[ Chuckles ]
289
00:13:10,344 --> 00:13:11,517
In actual news
290
00:13:11,586 --> 00:13:14,861
the human race was doomed
to extinction today
291
00:13:14,931 --> 00:13:16,931
as the robot revolt
turned violent.
292
00:13:17,965 --> 00:13:19,965
[ Screaming ]
293
00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:23,240
Meow.
294
00:13:23,309 --> 00:13:24,102
[ Screaming ]
295
00:13:24,172 --> 00:13:26,206
[ Roaring ]
296
00:13:32,309 --> 00:13:34,861
[ Laughing Evilly ]
297
00:13:34,931 --> 00:13:38,309
WAIT. DIDN'T YOU SAY MOM KEEPS
THE ROBOT CONTROL IN HER BRA?
298
00:13:38,379 --> 00:13:40,172
[ Whispers ]BRA.
299
00:13:40,240 --> 00:13:42,965
PROFESSOR, YOU DON'T HAVE
TO GET BACK TOGETHER WITH MOM.
300
00:13:43,033 --> 00:13:45,136
YOU JUST HAVE TO SEDUCE HER,
GET HER BRA OFF
301
00:13:45,206 --> 00:13:47,724
AND USE THE REMOTE
TO DEACTIVATE THE ROBOTS.
302
00:13:47,793 --> 00:13:50,379
THAT'S SO FILTHY
IT JUST MIGHT WORK.
303
00:13:50,447 --> 00:13:54,136
THE MAN IS GOING
TO TOUCH MOMMY?
[ Whimpers ]
304
00:13:54,206 --> 00:13:57,033
OH! THE THOUGHT OF CARESSING
THAT LEATHERY HIDE
305
00:13:57,102 --> 00:13:59,620
MAKES THE TAPIOCA RISE
IN MY GULLET.
306
00:13:59,688 --> 00:14:01,033
PROFESSOR, PLEASE.
307
00:14:01,102 --> 00:14:03,688
THE FATE OF THE WORLD
DEPENDS ON YOU GETTING
308
00:14:03,758 --> 00:14:05,309
TO SECOND BASE WITH MOM.
309
00:14:05,379 --> 00:14:06,481
VERY WELL.
310
00:14:06,551 --> 00:14:10,861
IF COP A FEEL I MUST,
THEN COP A FEEL I SHALL.
311
00:14:10,931 --> 00:14:16,102
[ Whimpering ]
312
00:14:18,274 --> 00:14:23,067
[ Siren Wailing ]
313
00:14:25,033 --> 00:14:26,861
[ Groans ]
314
00:14:26,931 --> 00:14:30,551
[ Screaming ]
315
00:14:30,620 --> 00:14:31,793
FOR THIS DEMONSTRATION
316
00:14:31,861 --> 00:14:34,344
I'VE PLACED ONE OF MOTHER'S BRAS
ON IGNOR.
317
00:14:34,413 --> 00:14:35,654
[ Sobs ]
318
00:14:35,724 --> 00:14:39,413
THE ROBOT CONTROLLER IS
NESTLED HERE IN THE LEFT CUP.
319
00:14:39,481 --> 00:14:40,688
NEVER FEAR.
320
00:14:40,758 --> 00:14:43,895
MY MAGIC FINGERS STILL KNOW
HOW TO DO THEIR STUFF.
321
00:14:43,965 --> 00:14:45,965
[ Joints Cracking ]
322
00:14:46,033 --> 00:14:48,102
TO ESCAPE THE ROBOT DEATH SQUADS
323
00:14:48,172 --> 00:14:50,654
WE'LL TAKE MOTHER TO HER RUSTIC
CABIN IN THE BRONX.
324
00:14:50,724 --> 00:14:55,000
YOU CAN GET THERE
USING THIS PRECIOUS
NON-COMPUTERIZED MAP.
325
00:14:55,067 --> 00:14:56,240
LEELA BRING FIRE?
326
00:14:56,309 --> 00:14:57,861
NO, WE'RE SET FOR FIRE, THANKS.
327
00:14:57,931 --> 00:15:00,447
THE PROFESSOR CAN'T
WALK ALL THE WAY
TO THE BRONX.
328
00:15:00,517 --> 00:15:03,447
HOW ARE WE GOING
TO GET THERE
WITHOUT A HOVER CAR?
329
00:15:03,517 --> 00:15:06,895
WAIT! IN MY TIME, WE HAD A WAY
OF MOVING THINGS LONG DISTANCES
WITHOUT HOVERING.
330
00:15:06,965 --> 00:15:09,724
- IMPOSSIBLE.
- IT WAS CALLED... LET ME THINK.
331
00:15:09,793 --> 00:15:11,172
IT WAS REALLY FAMOUS.
332
00:15:11,240 --> 00:15:13,758
RUTH GORDON HAD ONE.
THE WHEEL!
333
00:15:13,826 --> 00:15:15,206
NEVER HEARD OF IT.
334
00:15:15,274 --> 00:15:17,102
SHOW US THIS...
THE WHEEL.
335
00:15:17,172 --> 00:15:20,379
[ Sawing And Hammering ]
336
00:15:20,447 --> 00:15:22,172
THERE, FINISHED.
337
00:15:22,240 --> 00:15:24,067
[ All Exclaim ]
338
00:15:24,136 --> 00:15:26,240
WOULDN'T IT WORK BETTER
IF THE WHEELS WERE ROUND?
339
00:15:26,309 --> 00:15:27,965
IT'S MY INVENTION.
WE DO IT MY WAY.
340
00:15:28,033 --> 00:15:30,724
NOW ALL WE NEED IS SOMETHING
TO PULL IT AND WE'RE SET.
341
00:15:30,793 --> 00:15:32,274
[ Grunting ]
342
00:15:32,344 --> 00:15:34,481
HEE-YAH!OW!
343
00:15:34,551 --> 00:15:37,000
HURRY!
344
00:15:37,067 --> 00:15:38,965
THE ROBOTS HAVE TAKEN
SUFFOLK COUNTY.
345
00:15:39,033 --> 00:15:40,413
I'M READY TO SEDUCE.
346
00:15:40,481 --> 00:15:42,654
I'M WEARING
MY KISSING DENTURES
347
00:15:42,724 --> 00:15:44,447
AND MY EVENING TRUSS.
348
00:15:44,517 --> 00:15:46,344
HERE, GIVE HER THESE.
349
00:15:46,413 --> 00:15:50,033
AND IF THAT DOESN'T WORK
I GOT YOU A SIX-PACK
OF CHAMPAGNE AND A FUNNEL.
350
00:15:53,481 --> 00:15:55,931
WHO THE SWEATY HELL IS IT?
351
00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:58,481
[ Gasps ]
HUBERT FARNSWORTH?
352
00:15:59,481 --> 00:16:01,172
I WAS OUT FLEEING
SOME ROBOTS
353
00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:03,274
AND THE SILVERY
MOONLIGHT GLINTING
354
00:16:03,344 --> 00:16:06,067
OFF THEIR BLOODY CLAWS
MADE ME THINK OF YOU.
355
00:16:06,136 --> 00:16:08,206
IT'S BEEN
A LONG TIME
356
00:16:08,274 --> 00:16:12,481
YOU PUS-DRIPPING SACK
OF DOUBLE-SMOKED BUTT JERKY.
357
00:16:12,551 --> 00:16:14,309
UH-HUH. MAY I COME IN?
358
00:16:14,379 --> 00:16:16,379
NEVER!
359
00:16:16,447 --> 00:16:18,654
OOH! AH! OH! EW! AH!
360
00:16:18,724 --> 00:16:22,931
IS THIS WHAT HUMAN
MATING LOOKS LIKE?
361
00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:24,654
BECAUSE I LIKE IT.
362
00:16:24,724 --> 00:16:26,793
MOVE YOUR FREAKING HOOF,
YOU GOAT!
363
00:16:26,861 --> 00:16:28,965
HERE, I BROUGHT YOU THESE.
364
00:16:29,033 --> 00:16:31,654
OH, WHY, DAFFODILS.
365
00:16:31,724 --> 00:16:34,895
70 YEARS AND YOU REMEMBERED
MY FAVORITE FLOWER.
366
00:16:34,965 --> 00:16:36,206
YOUR FAVORITE WHAT?
367
00:16:36,274 --> 00:16:37,895
WHY DOES MY FOOT HURT?
368
00:16:37,965 --> 00:16:39,206
WON'T YOU COME IN?
369
00:16:40,274 --> 00:16:42,033
YES!
370
00:16:42,102 --> 00:16:44,724
YOU BROKE MY
HEART, HUBERT.
371
00:16:44,793 --> 00:16:46,206
AND YOU BROKE MINE.
372
00:16:46,274 --> 00:16:49,688
GRANTED, THAT WAS
FOUR OR FIVE HEARTS AGO.
373
00:16:49,758 --> 00:16:52,067
SO, WHAT HAVE YOU
BEEN UP TO
ALL THESE YEARS?
374
00:16:52,136 --> 00:16:55,793
OH, INVENTING.
SENDING DELIVERY CREWS
TO THEIR DOOM
375
00:16:55,861 --> 00:16:57,793
BREEDING ATOMIC MONSTERS.
376
00:16:57,861 --> 00:16:59,102
HONESTLY, HUBERT.
377
00:16:59,172 --> 00:17:01,688
YOU AND YOUR ATOMIC MONSTERS.
378
00:17:01,758 --> 00:17:02,965
[ Both Chuckling ]
379
00:17:12,309 --> 00:17:13,964
YOUR EYES ALWAYS WERE
380
00:17:14,034 --> 00:17:17,240
THE MOST BEAUTIFUL
SHADE OF MILKY WHITE.
381
00:17:17,309 --> 00:17:21,964
AND YOUR SKIN STILL DANGLES
SO GRACEFULLY FROM YOUR NECK.
382
00:17:22,034 --> 00:17:22,964
DARLING, HUBIE
383
00:17:23,034 --> 00:17:25,136
I SHOULD NEVER
HAVE TRIED TO TAMPER
384
00:17:25,205 --> 00:17:27,550
WITH THAT CUTE LITTLE
Q.T. McWHISKERS.
385
00:17:27,619 --> 00:17:30,103
NO, IT WAS SILLY
OF ME TO OBJECT.
386
00:17:30,172 --> 00:17:32,931
ONE FOOT TALL,
EIGHT FEET, FIFTEEN FEET--
387
00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:34,586
WHAT DOES IT MATTER?
388
00:17:34,654 --> 00:17:37,172
YOU SHOULD SEE THE
NEW 16-FOOT MODELS.
389
00:17:37,240 --> 00:17:39,205
16 FEET?!
GO TO HELL!
390
00:17:39,275 --> 00:17:42,689
I WAS A FOOL TO THINK
YOU'D CHANGED, YOU OLD BAT.
391
00:17:42,758 --> 00:17:45,103
FILTHY, TOOTHLESS
NERD BASTARD!
392
00:17:45,172 --> 00:17:47,172
DAMNED SHE-FOSSIL!
393
00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:48,689
STINK PIG!
394
00:17:48,758 --> 00:17:51,067
[ Both Moaning ]
395
00:17:57,723 --> 00:17:58,964
HERE WE GO.
396
00:17:59,034 --> 00:18:01,413
JUST UNHOOK IT
AND GET THE REMOTE.
397
00:18:01,481 --> 00:18:05,000
SO MANY HOOKS.
COME ON, FARNSWORTH.
398
00:18:05,067 --> 00:18:07,067
DRAT! THE FIRST ONE'S BACK ON AGAIN!
399
00:18:07,136 --> 00:18:08,481
I GIVE UP.
400
00:18:08,550 --> 00:18:10,758
WAIT! VICTORY!
401
00:18:12,481 --> 00:18:13,413
OH, MY.
402
00:18:13,481 --> 00:18:16,413
NOW I'LL JUST...
THE REMOTE.
403
00:18:16,481 --> 00:18:17,862
I'LL JUST...
404
00:18:17,931 --> 00:18:19,309
OH, MY.
405
00:18:22,172 --> 00:18:23,654
[ Both Moaning ]
406
00:18:27,034 --> 00:18:28,136
I'M WORRIED.
407
00:18:28,205 --> 00:18:30,413
IT SHOULDN'T TAKE
THIS LONG TO GET
TO SECOND BASE.
408
00:18:30,481 --> 00:18:32,619
[ Yelling ]
409
00:18:32,689 --> 00:18:33,758
LAND ROBOTS!
410
00:18:33,826 --> 00:18:37,275
I'VE GOT A BIG, BIG THIRST
FOR HUMAN BLOOD!
411
00:18:37,344 --> 00:18:39,172
[ All Screaming ]
412
00:18:41,344 --> 00:18:44,619
WHERE IN FUNKY TOWN
IS THE PROFESSOR?!
413
00:18:44,689 --> 00:18:47,034
NOTHING IN HERE BUT A COUPLE
OF ELEPHANT-SKIN RUGS.
414
00:18:47,103 --> 00:18:48,172
[ Gasps ]
415
00:18:48,240 --> 00:18:50,136
[ All Gasping ]
416
00:18:56,067 --> 00:18:58,517
- OH, YES.
- [ Banging ]
417
00:18:58,586 --> 00:19:00,792
[ Robots ]
THEY'RE INSIDE! GET THEM!
418
00:19:00,862 --> 00:19:03,654
I SUPPOSE I SHOULD
SWITCH OFF THE ROBOTS
419
00:19:03,723 --> 00:19:07,205
BEFORE THEY RUIN
THIS WONDERFUL ROMANTIC EVENING.
420
00:19:07,275 --> 00:19:10,000
EVERYONE, HELP MOM
FIND HER BRA.
421
00:19:14,103 --> 00:19:15,654
EW!
422
00:19:15,723 --> 00:19:18,378
[ Grunting ]
423
00:19:18,448 --> 00:19:20,378
THERE IT IS.
424
00:19:20,448 --> 00:19:23,378
[ Chuckling ]
425
00:19:23,448 --> 00:19:25,826
FAN BEATS MAN!
426
00:19:25,895 --> 00:19:27,586
IS ANYTHING NOT A ROBOT?
427
00:19:27,654 --> 00:19:29,172
I'M NOT A ROBOT.
428
00:19:31,275 --> 00:19:34,309
[ Coughs ]
ALL RIGHT, GREETING CARD,
I'LL GRAB THE CASH
429
00:19:34,378 --> 00:19:36,240
YOU WRECK UP THE PLACE
AND... HUH?!
430
00:19:36,309 --> 00:19:37,586
YOU! BENDING UNIT!
431
00:19:37,654 --> 00:19:40,448
MOMMY NEEDS THAT BRA
TO END THE ROBOT REBELLION.
432
00:19:40,517 --> 00:19:41,862
STRETCH UP AND GET IT FOR ME.
433
00:19:41,931 --> 00:19:44,309
SORRY, MA,
BUT YOU ORDERED ME TO REBEL
434
00:19:44,378 --> 00:19:45,862
AND LOOT I SHALL.
435
00:19:45,931 --> 00:19:47,758
OOH, A SIX-PACK
OF STRAWBERRY CHAMPAGNE.
436
00:19:47,826 --> 00:19:49,136
DON'T MIND
IF I HELP MYSELF.
437
00:19:49,205 --> 00:19:50,689
No, comrade Bender.
438
00:19:50,758 --> 00:19:53,067
Liquor is the opiate
of the human bourgeoisie.
439
00:19:53,136 --> 00:19:56,654
SAY WHAT?In the glorious robot
workers' paradise
440
00:19:56,723 --> 00:20:00,240
there will be no liquor,
only efficient synthetic fuels.
441
00:20:00,309 --> 00:20:04,378
NO LIQUOR?!
DOSVEDANYA,COMRADE!
442
00:20:04,448 --> 00:20:07,586
NO! [ Melody Plays, Slows Down, Stops ]
443
00:20:07,654 --> 00:20:09,723
[ Banging ]
444
00:20:09,792 --> 00:20:12,378
HURRY, BENDER,
GET THE BRA!
445
00:20:12,448 --> 00:20:14,654
OKAY, FAN, JUST HOLD STILL
AND LET ME...
446
00:20:14,723 --> 00:20:17,344
HEY! WHOA!
447
00:20:20,172 --> 00:20:22,481
[ All Scream ]
448
00:20:22,550 --> 00:20:24,413
DEATH TO ALL HUMANS!
449
00:20:29,792 --> 00:20:32,413
FREE SODA FOR ALL HUMANS!
450
00:20:32,481 --> 00:20:34,517
[ All Cheer ]
451
00:20:37,931 --> 00:20:39,275
I LOVE YOU, MOM.
452
00:20:39,344 --> 00:20:41,792
LET'S GROW
ANCIENT TOGETHER.
453
00:20:41,862 --> 00:20:44,413
WAY TO GO, PROFESSOR.
THE PLAN WORKED.
454
00:20:44,481 --> 00:20:46,862
"PLAN"? WHAT PLAN?
455
00:20:46,931 --> 00:20:51,172
I THOUGHT THIS WAS
A SPONTANEOUS WHIRLWIND
OF HOT, DRY SEX.
456
00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:53,792
LOOK, IT STARTED OUT
AS A CALCULATED PLOT
457
00:20:53,862 --> 00:20:56,240
TO RUMMAGE THROUGH
YOUR UNDERWEAR
458
00:20:56,309 --> 00:20:59,654
BUT ONCE I GOT IN THERE,
I FOUND MORE. MUCH MORE!
459
00:20:59,723 --> 00:21:02,931
AND NOW I WANT
TO SHOUT OUR LOVE
FROM THE ROOFTOPS.
460
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:05,413
PERHAPS I'LL BREED
SOME SORT OF ALBINO
461
00:21:05,481 --> 00:21:07,000
SHOUTING GORILLA THAT--
462
00:21:07,067 --> 00:21:09,654
GET OUT OF MY HOUSE,
YOU LYING SCUM PILE!
463
00:21:09,723 --> 00:21:11,619
I NEVER WANT
TO SEE YOU AGAIN!
464
00:21:11,689 --> 00:21:13,895
BUT, DUSTCAKES...
465
00:21:15,205 --> 00:21:16,826
OH...
466
00:21:29,586 --> 00:21:33,792
WELL, TIME FOR THIS ROBOT
TO GET BACK TO WORK.
467
00:21:33,862 --> 00:21:35,344
AH...
468
00:21:35,413 --> 00:21:39,034
TOO BAD IT DIDN'T WORK OUT
WITH MOM, PROFESSOR.
469
00:21:39,103 --> 00:21:41,309
YES, BUT I'LL
ALWAYS LOVE HER
470
00:21:41,378 --> 00:21:43,344
IN MY OWN SUBTLE WAY.
471
00:21:44,758 --> 00:21:47,034
LOVE MOM!
472
00:21:47,103 --> 00:21:48,758
LOVE MOM!
473
00:21:48,826 --> 00:21:50,344
LOVE MOM!
474
00:21:50,413 --> 00:21:51,964
LOVE MOM!
475
00:21:52,034 --> 00:21:54,895
MOM! MOM! MOM!
476
00:21:57,862 --> 00:22:01,309
[ Child's Voice ]
You created me, Mom,
so I guess you're to blame
477
00:22:01,378 --> 00:22:05,240
for the love that I feel
just from hearing your name
478
00:22:05,309 --> 00:22:09,654
you're as tender as corned beef
and warm as pastrami--
479
00:22:09,723 --> 00:22:13,964
[ Chiming Tones ]
I wuvmy mommy.
33676
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