All language subtitles for Hold.The.Sunset.S01E05.Roger.The.Carer.1080p.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-squalor_track3_[eng]

[MUSIC - THE HONEYCOMBS, "DO I
HAVE THE RIGHT"]

Have I the right to hold you.

You know I've always told you.

I've loved you from
the very start.

Come right back, I
just can't bear it.

I've got some love and
I long to share it.

Come right back, right
back where you belong.

Oh yeah.

You belong.

So, while your mother's
out of the room, how--

how bad is it?

Oh, it's not so bad.

Honestly.

I've been through worse.

I've got the accounts
for last year.

No, no, no.

I don't need them.

Oh.

Phil, I've been in business for
20 years, and I'm still at it.

30K be enough?

Yes, on top of the bank loan.

Good.

And if the business
goes belly up,

I'll be right in the
back of the queue, right?

It won't go belly up.

And if it does, I'll--

I'll sell my house.

Oh, all right.

What would you do then?

Move in here
with mum and Roger.

[choking]

Oh, Phil.

Oh.

Oh.

OK.

OK.

OK.

All you all right?

Good grief.

Just when you were
about to write the check.

Yeah.

Well, you know how to kill
me now if you ever wanted.

I was joking.

Well, tell that
to the coroner.

Roger's feeling a bit better.

I think it's just a bad cold.

A cold?

He's got a cold, and he's
got you running up there

with hot drinks.

What is that?

Oh, a crocodile.

Well, yes.

It's-- it's Roger's.

He was so upset when
they didn't give him

the job at the toy
shop that they gave him

that as a consolation prize.

Dear god.

So is it all done?

Yes, Phil here's about
to write the check.

Aren't you, Phil?

Mm-hmm

Well, I hope all this
is going to be all right.

Oh, it's-- it's a bargain.

A one year interest free loan
of 30,000 pounds in exchange

for a free monthly
haircut for me

and a perm or whatever for
your mum in perpetuity.

Am I right?

Absolutely.

A huge bargain.

Mm.

And when you're looking
for a buyer for a house

share on the Brooklyn Bridge
or the Tower of London,

I trust you'll give
me first refusal.

Oh.

Don't lend her a penny.

You'll never get it back.

You come down to be
generous with your germs?

You're immune.

If a viper bit her, it'd die.

EDITH: Roger!

I came for Methuselah.

Should Phil-- should Phil
lend Sandra the money?

[talks through puppet]

What a stupid question.

Definitely not.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Night night.

Sleep tight.

Don't let hippopotamus bite.

This will all be better once
the right job comes along.

[laughing]

Oh, sorry.

[music playing]

[muttering]

Hello, Roger.

Ah, Bob.

Bob the burglar.

Just Bob will do.

Ah, right.

Yeah.

Can you give me a--

sorry.

You know, I used to
fly kites for the Army.

Signal Corp.

Oh.

Yeah, Somaliland campaign.

You know, against the Dervish.

Wow.

Roger, the Somaliland
campaign was in 1920.

I wasn't even born.

Oh, right.

It really pains me to see
what a pathetically easy

target you are.

It's no fun for
you really, is it?

It's not as if you're
even born yesterday.

It's like half an hour ago.

What can I do?

Well, that's a problem.

You know, I could take you
under my wing, you know,

make you my apprentice.

But, you know, I'd
have to charge you.

Well, I've got no money.

What, nothing?

Well, I'm in debt.

No, that means you're rich.

The more debt you have,
the richer you are.

You ramp that up
to millions, they

will treat you like royalty.

Is that-- I tried to get a
job, but my heart's not in it.

Well, good for you.

I never fancied
work myself either.

[clang]

How is your mother?

The lovely lady.

Yeah, really good.

That's even better.

What do you mean?

You could be a carer.

What, for mum?

Exactly.

Make a few bob.

She doesn't need a carer.

She's fine.

So?

So they won't let me.

Of course they will.

No, there'll be forms and
stuff to fill in, won't there?

No.

They don't bother
about that nonsense.

You get me your
mother's full name,

date, place of birth,
social security number,

all that stuff, and
I'll do the rest.

The rest?

Yeah, doctor's letter.

See, I know people.

I'm, like, connected.

won't they want paying?

Oh-- 300 should do it.

300?

Yeah.

On account.

You can pay me
back in instalments

once you get the job.

It's like an
investment, you know?

You get an income with next
to nothing to do for it.

Now I do like
the sound of that.

Yeah.

Just wish we;d talked
about it more first.

I mean, Sandra's always going
on about how brilliantly

on top of everything she is.

And then as soon as the
ice starts to crack,

up you come waving your
chequebook in the air.

Well, I just thought
you might be grateful.

Maybe I don't
want to be grateful.

Are you worried about her?

Aren't you?

Not really, no.

That's a big fib.

Could be right.

So here is a comprehensive
account by a proper doctor

on why your mum needs a carer.

I can't do it.

Why not?

I'm too nervous.

They'll suspect something.

Nervous is normal.

Everybody's nervous
going through that door.

If you weren't nervous,
they would suspect you.

Now go on.

You'll be surprised
how easy it is.

I'll be waiting for
you on that bench.

Now go on.

How long have you been
caring for your mother, Roger?

Uh, it's about
about six years--

months.

Months.

On your own?

Uh, yes, mainly.

On my own, yeah.

I've got a sister,
but she's dead.

She works-- sister works.

So, yeah.

Yeah.

On my own, yeah.

Felicity?

Hmm?

Questions?

Comments?

It's very kind of you.

Yes.

Yes it is.

Your doctor says your mother
has severe mobility problems,

has almost entirely lost
the power of speech,

and is subject to fits
of uncontrollable rage.

Good grief.

That sounds really
bad, doesn't it?

I mean, when you
say it like that.

I presume you don't
have a regular job?

No.

Um, i did, but I
had to give it up.

To look after your mother?

No.

Yes.

But not at first.

That was later.

So, um-- yeah.

Yeah.

You must be under a
lot of stress, Roger.

Yeah.

I am.

I-- I am under a lot of stress.

Well there you go.

That didn't take too long.

How'd it go?

Oh, I'm finished.

Done for.

I might as well go straight
to the police and confess.

What are you talking about?

What happened?

They're sending an
inspector to the house, 11

o'clock Thursday morning.

Good.

Good?

It's not good at all.

It's a disaster.

I never realised
that I was happy,

but now I know I was
compared to this.

[music playing]

Oh, dear.

What's up, Rog?

Uh nothing at all.

Nothing.

Queenie, can you do me a favour?

Well, if I can.

I-- I've got a friend who--

who's got a friend who's
training to be an assessor

for people who want
to be carers, and, um,

they need someone
to practise on.

What?

Like a Guinea pig?

Yeah, yeah.

Just-- just someone to pretend
that they can't walk or talk

and they get a bit
frustrated about it.

Oh, a difficult customer.

Well, not-- not too difficult.
And you wouldn't have to do

anything or even
have to say anything.

Uh, I'd do all the talking.

Yeah, I think I
can manage that.

I played the front legs
of a pantomime horse once,

for four years running.

The front legs, mind you.

Well, I'm impressed.

Yeah So was I. Mainly by the
randy little rapscallion who

played the back legs
and subsequently became

my second husband.

[chuckling]

Um, just for
authenticity sake, we'd

pretend that you're my mum.

Oh.

Well, if you say so.

I hope Edith won't mind.

Oh, no.

No she won't mind.

But don't-- don't say
anything to her, will you?

Uh, she won't be here
on-- on the Thursday

when this person comes.

And if I get a job in the
training programme too, then,

uh, I want it to be a
big surprise for her.

[music playing]

[dialling phone]

Thank you so much.

We'll see you in six weeks.

Love that colour on you.

Thank you.

Bye bye.

SANDRA [ON PHONE]: Leonora's.

Can you hold?

Hi, yeah.

Hi, Sandra.

Yeah.

It's Rog.

Rog?

Don't ever remember
calling you Rog.

Were we ever that close, Roger?

I don't think so.

What do you want?

Uh, yeah.

Mum's had to rush off somewhere.

And?

She asked me to make
an appointment for her,

11:00 o'clock Thursday morning.

Uh, Phil too.

And she said she
wants everything,

so colouring and
perming, straightening,

and all the other stuff.

Well, it's either one
or the other, Roger.

I know.

That's what she said.

OK.

Thursday at 11:00.

Great.

Great.

I'll tell her.

OK, bye.

[music playing]

Oh, hi.

Hi, mum.

Hi.

Um, Sandra just called.

She said she's made
appointments for both of you,

uh, for Thursday morning
at 11:00 o'clock.

Oh.

That's very kind of her.

Yeah.

She said not to be late.

I think I'll give it a miss.

She was quite insistent
that you both go.

I don't see why.

Well, because, uh,
because she wants

to extend her demographic.

Does she?

Yeah.

Yeah.

She wants to, uh, regain
profitable territory

from the slaphead generation.

Have you been at
the Weetabix again?

She believes that
your esteemed presence

will boost her business.

Ah.

Well, now I understand.

[music playing]

Well, I hope this won't
take too long because I

haven't finished the cleaning.

[doorbell ringing]

Now, uh, this
Is Edith, my mum.

Mum, this is Miss Oaks.

Felicity.

[SHOUTING] Hello,
Edith Nice to meet you.

Uh, yeah.

Felicity is from the
social care office.

Remember, she's here to
see if you need a carer.

Oh, I do.

I do.

I need a carer,
because otherwise I

won't be able to go, will I?

Roger has to carry
me to the lavatory.

Yes.

Normally she's just
completely incontinent.

Incontinent?

Oh dear.

I mean, uncommunicative.

Uh, yeah.

She can't say a word.

Can you, mum?

But sometimes she has these
rather unexpected bursts

of verbal diarrhoea.

Oh.

Oh.

That's more like it.

See, she-- she gets so
frustrated and irritable,

not being able to speak.

Oh.

Oh.

Mum.

Mum-- mum.

Now Felicity is
here to help you.

Now, if you behave
badly, then she

might just give up and go away.

Oh no, no, Edith.

I-- I won't do that.

No.

I'm sure you won't.

But, uh, may I suggest
that we do the necessaries

as quickly as possible,
just for mum's sake?

I must say you've
done it very nicely.

I love the colours.

It's good, isn't it?

Cost, of course.

Vanker and Vanker.

What?

The design studio,
Vanker and Vanker.

What very unfortunate names.

They must have had a
difficult time in life.

It's not their
real names, mum.

It's the memorable
name for the company.

I'll say.

[laughing]

I'm so sorry you're
having to wait.

If you hadn't asked
for Thursday morning.

Oh, did we ask for
Thursday morning?

Roger told us that you'd
offered Thursday morning.

He said that?

Yeah.

Sure?

Yeah.

I smell a rat.

I smell several rats, and the
biggest of those is Roger.

Uh, can she use the
toilet on her own?

Uh, well, I help her, but then
she's on her own, isn't she?

I mean, what she does in there
is her business, isn't it?

Well--

Bah.

And and she sleeps upstairs?

Yes.

OK How does she
manage the stairs?

Uh-- I used to be a fireman,
so I just throw her over

my shoulder and I carry her up.

Gosh.

Really.

[laughing]

Mum, it isn't funny.

Yes, it is.

I think you need to
have other arrangements.

Is there-- is there a bathroom
downstairs on the ground floor?

Roger.

What's going on?

Bah.

What's the matter with her?

Well, she's-- she's just
having one of her days, Sandra.

Felicity, this is
my sister, Sandra.

Uh, Felicity works for the
local authority care department.

Hello.

Now if you'll excuse
me, uh, Felicity.

I just need to have a
quick word with my sister.

Of course.

Bah.

What are you doing here?

What was all that about?

You're always
meddling, aren't you?

Always meddling.

Shut up and tell me
what you're playing at.

Right.

Felicity is a
friend of mine, OK?

Now, she is training
to assess people

to see if they need carers.

Now, I offered to help
her in her training.

So did Queenie.

Queenie is pretending to be mum.

I'm pretending to be me for
the purposes of the exercise.

You're lying.

No, I'm not.

Where you going?

I've got a few
questions for Felicity.

Yeah?

No, wait.

Wait.

Um-- OK, I'm lying.

Now-- but the thing is I'm
trying to become a carer.

A carer?

For mum.

What?

I'm committing a criminal act
to deceive the local authority

and to defraud the taxpayer into
paying me a carer's allowance.

Good god.

Now, and if you let
the cat out of the bag--

Right.

--I will drag you into
it, and I will ruin both

your reputation
and your business.

I've got nothing
to do with this.

Your signature's on
the application form.

You-- you forged my signature?

Well, I'll tell them.

Even if they believed
you, it'd get in the papers,

wouldn't it?

And mud always sticks.

[knocking]

Sorry.

Um, oh excuse me.

Roger, your mother's
insisting she's

Queenie the cleaning lady.

Oh, no.

Not that again.

She's-- she's always
doing that these days.

Isn't she, Sandra?

Yes.

Yes, she has been
known to do that.

Oh, there you
are, you scallywag.

I've had enough
of being your mum.

I want to be myself now
and finish the cleaning.

Oh now, mum.

Don't say that.

I'm not your mum,
and I can't honestly

say I'm altogether sorry.

Phil.

Phil.

I'm at mum's.

Get back here fast.

It's an emergency.

Don't say anything to mum.

Just be patient.

Oh.

Another five minutes,
but that's it.

It's not that I don't want
to help you, Felicity.

Thank you, Edith.

Queenie.

Mum, please

Mum.

I'll mum you.

Roger, I wonder
if care in the home

is really adequate in this case.

I think it is.

I can manage her.

I really, really can.

She isn't normally this
difficult, are you mum?

It's-- it's quite odd she
can speak when she's Queenie

the cleaner, but only
sometimes when she's Edith.

Yeah.

Yes.

It's very peculiar, but
you do get used to it.

Bah.

What are we going to do?

We've got to come clean.

How?

If we tell her the truth,
then she'll call the police.

My signature is on
the application form.

Forged.

Hmm.

And for once, Roger is
right about one thing.

Mud does stick.

I mean, some of my customers
might decide to go elsewhere

and I could be ruined.

Have you paid the check
into the account yet?

Of course.

Bugger.

But I've-- I've got an idea.

But you haven't
spent it, have you?

Listen.

Cause I can't afford to
wave goodbye to 30K just

like that, right?

Me neither.

Somehow-- somehow we
have to convince Felicity

that Roger is barking,
and that we all play along

with him because despite
everything, we love him

and we can't face
putting him into a home.

Put Roger in a home?

So you go in there
and send Roger to me.

Oh, we have to keep
Felicity in the dark.

So that means you've
got to play along, Phil.

Oh, and Mrs. G's mum, OK?

What?

I'm here twice a
week to help Edith ever

since Roger came home.

Oh, not you as well.

Hello.

You must be Felicity.

Yeah.

Yes.

Good.

I am Phil.

I'm Edith's friend.

Right.

Roger, could you have a
quick word with Sandra please?

Now, apparently.

It's a little bit urgent.

Well, Edith how
are you, darling?

Now don't tyre yourself
out right, trying

to answer that, so just--

Phil's my companion.

Oh really?

That's nice.

Lovely.

Yeah.

Yes.

We're going to get
married, aren't we?

Yes.

The less you say, darling,
the quicker this will be over.

Oh.

You're not going to
jilt me, are you, Phil?

[laughing] Well, I'm
seriously considering it.

Now, do see if you can
be as quiet as possible.

I know you can if you--
if you really try.

OK.

That's enough.

I've done my bit.

I need to vac the dining room.

No, no, no.

No, Edith.

I absolutely refuse to let you
do any of the cleaning, Edith.

That's Mrs. Gale's job.

He knows perfectly
well who I am.

Indeed I do, Edith.

Queenie.

I don't want you to
think that I'm a snob,

but could you imagine someone
like me marrying a cleaning

lady?

Point of information.

I know of some very
marriageable cleaning ladies.

No doubt.

But you're not one of them.

Do you mind?

I've been married three times.

No, no.

You're not one of them
because you're Edith.

You see how fickle men are.

When he thinks I"m Edith,
he wants to marry me.

When he thinks I'm a
cleaning lady, he doesn't.

If you don't shut
up, I won't marry you.

Or employ you as a
cleaning lady or whatever

it is that you're doing
on the appointed date.

So, uh, don't take
any notice of us.

Just a little jovial
pre-marital banter.

[chuckling]

So, um, have you been
doing the job long?

Oh, not long at all, really.

That's why Mrs. Poole should
really be here with me.

Phil.

Shh.

Listen to what
Felicity's saying.

You wouldn't like me
to lavatory, would you?

No, thank you, Edith.

No.

Not today.

If this gets out,
as it certainly

will if you don't
do as I say, what

do you think it's
going to do mum?

She's going to be
devastated, isn't she?

She'll probably never recover.

Now you didn't think
about that, did you?

Did you!

No.

You're probably
wondering by now

why I've set my heart on
marrying this extraordinarily

interesting woman, Edith.

Queenie.

No, no.

I wasn't.

Not at all.

And the answer is
she is extremely rich.

[laughing]

Oh, that's a good one.

Well, if that's
the case, then why--

Oh, why-- why are we asking
the social services to provide

a carer?

Yeah.

Yes, a good point.

Um-- fairly good
point, actually.

The reason is when
I first met her,

she told me that she
was incredibly rich.

And by the time I found
out that that wasn't true,

I had fallen totally in,
uh, love with her, you see?

Um, and it was too late
to do anything about it.

So that's when I realised
that, um, money is the most--

not the most important
thing in life.

Come along.

Come along.

Oh god.

Go on.

Say goodnight to Felicity.

Good night, Felicity.

We've got to go to bed now.

Night night.

Sleep tight.

Hope the hippopotamuses
don't bite.

Ha ha.

Off we go.

Night night.

I'm so sorry, Felicity.

It's very sad.

It really is.

He means well, but if we
don't all play along with him,

then it can be a great
trial for all of us.

Should really be in care.

You've got to
forgive him, dear.

He went a bit daft
when his dad died.

He's been a few currants short
of a tea cake ever since.

But he's a good lad, really.

[phone ringing]

Hello?

So, how did it go?

Mrs. Poole, I don't
think I"m cut out for this.

I think I made a mistake.

Of course you're not.

No one's cut out
for this, Felicity.

Not one of us.

Well, I look forward
with great interest

in reading your first
report, Felicity.

[whimpering]

Roger.

Oh.

Hi, Bob.

So, how'd it go?

Great, yeah.

Fantastic.

I'm a carer.

You're a carer!

Yeah.

Oh, that's-- that's wonderful.

So, uh, how much
are they paying you?

Shed loads.

Shed loads.

that can't be bad,
eh? oh, that's--

that's cause for celebration.

Yeah.

I'll buy you a beer.

A beer?

oh, I wouldn't say no
to a beer, but, um,

I hope you're not getting all
parsimonious on your old friend

here, you know?

After all I did for you.

We had-- we had a
deal, Roger, remember?

Bob, I was joking.

I'm-- I'm not a carer.

You're not?

Heaven's, Roger.

You could kill a man
with a joke like that.

Yeah, yeah.

I'm sorry.

I was just trying to take
the edge off the bad news.

What happened?

Well, it was
going really, really

well, um, near perfect,
and then Sandra turned up.

Sandra your sister?

Why, just perchance?

No, no.

She knew.

She suspected something.

How come?

I don't know.

She's always been like that.

How spooky.

Yeah, diabolical.

Fiendish.

Anyway, it's not all bad news.

No?

No.

Phil has promised to
put me on the payroll

as long as I stay
out of trouble.

The payroll?

Yeah.

It's a bit of pocket money.

[sighs]

So what about
that beer then, huh?

Yeah, yeah.

Why not?

Eh, you couldn't see your way
to, uh, lending me a tenner,

could you?

Uh, Bob.

I've only got--
only got five, Bob.

Yeah, well that
will do for now.

So is Phil rich?

Squillions.

So what's he doing here?

Yeah, that's what
I'd like to know.

He used to work for
the Secret Service.

You are kidding.

Mm.

I think that the Russians
might be after him.

[music playing]