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1
00:00:01,292 --> 00:00:03,125
(Tech) One, two...
2
00:00:05,042 --> 00:00:07,393
(Dick) We 're going to start very
soon, Maurice. Sorry for the wait.
3
00:00:07,417 --> 00:00:08,875
(Maurice) Don't worry.
4
00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:12,500
(Runner) Can I get you anything? Coffee?
(Maurice) Do you have any tea?
5
00:00:12,625 --> 00:00:17,417
(Runner) We have some tea.
(Maurice) A cup of tea. Milk, six sugars.
6
00:00:17,542 --> 00:00:20,417
(Runner) Six?
(Maurice) Yes, six, please. Thank you.
7
00:00:20,542 --> 00:00:22,500
(Tech) Can you give me some levels?
8
00:00:22,625 --> 00:00:25,250
(Maurice) Some what?
(Tech) Can you talk to me?
9
00:00:25,375 --> 00:00:29,292
(Maurice) Has the interview started?
Cos I just ordered some tea.
10
00:00:29,417 --> 00:00:31,458
(Tech) That's perfect.
(Dick) Ok.
11
00:00:31,583 --> 00:00:33,417
(Dick) We good?
(Cameraman) Rolling.
12
00:00:33,542 --> 00:00:36,833
(Maurice) Haven't got me tea.
(Dick) All right. We're good to go.
13
00:00:36,958 --> 00:00:40,417
- In three, two, one.
- (Clapperboard claps)
14
00:00:47,208 --> 00:00:50,708
(Dick) I'm here
with a legend of the golfing world.
15
00:00:50,833 --> 00:00:55,083
A man who has broken records
and rewritten the history books.
16
00:00:55,583 --> 00:00:57,333
Maurice flitcroft.
17
00:00:59,375 --> 00:01:00,750
Bless me.
18
00:01:00,875 --> 00:01:04,625
You made your name
in the British open in 1976.
19
00:01:04,750 --> 00:01:08,625
Now, why did you choose
that particular tournament?
20
00:01:08,750 --> 00:01:11,417
Well, it was...
More it chose me, really.
21
00:01:11,542 --> 00:01:13,125
It was a calling.
22
00:01:13,250 --> 00:01:15,708
You Americans
might call it a destiny.
23
00:01:15,833 --> 00:01:18,542
And it was an unlikely destiny,
wasn't it?
24
00:01:18,667 --> 00:01:22,667
Because you were working as a
crane operator at the time. Am I right?
25
00:01:22,792 --> 00:01:28,083
Yes. When I took up
the game of golf in, uh, 1975,
26
00:01:28,208 --> 00:01:32,583
I were working full time as a crane driver,
or operator, as you would say.
27
00:01:32,708 --> 00:01:36,542
80, well, tell us about
the young Maurice flitcroft.
28
00:01:37,042 --> 00:01:40,500
Did you dream
of becoming a sportsman as a child?
29
00:01:40,625 --> 00:01:42,333
Uh, I had dreams.
30
00:01:42,458 --> 00:01:45,583
But, uh, you know, where I...
Where I come from,
31
00:01:45,708 --> 00:01:47,417
barrow-in-furness,
32
00:01:47,542 --> 00:01:50,667
it's a small world, put it like that.
33
00:01:50,792 --> 00:01:52,667
(Cheerful instrumental music)
34
00:02:04,042 --> 00:02:08,083
The only job options for a lad like me
was the yard. Shipyard.
35
00:02:08,208 --> 00:02:11,125
Shipyard fodder,
they used to call us.
36
00:02:11,250 --> 00:02:13,625
Me dad worked there
and his father before 'im.
37
00:02:14,417 --> 00:02:16,083
You go in on your feet.
38
00:02:16,208 --> 00:02:18,000
You come out in a box.
39
00:02:19,167 --> 00:02:22,833
Oh, as a child,
I did have ambitions, of course,
40
00:02:22,958 --> 00:02:25,500
that I might do,
you know, something else.
41
00:02:25,625 --> 00:02:29,167
But any dreams I had
tended to end up in pieces.
42
00:02:31,792 --> 00:02:35,917
When the war came, I was sent to live
with a very nice family in Scotland.
43
00:02:37,458 --> 00:02:40,917
Things were very different there.
They'd say things like...
44
00:02:41,042 --> 00:02:43,417
What do you want to be
when you grow up?
45
00:02:43,542 --> 00:02:46,708
Probablyjust be in the shipyard
like me dad.
46
00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:48,625
Och! You can be anything you want.
47
00:02:48,750 --> 00:02:50,625
The world is your oyster.
48
00:02:50,750 --> 00:02:53,083
(Maurice) I read books.
I learnt languages.
49
00:02:53,208 --> 00:02:54,625
I played the violin.
50
00:02:54,750 --> 00:02:57,625
I played to a very high standard, actually.
51
00:02:57,750 --> 00:02:59,083
(Scratchy noise)
52
00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:02,500
Never mind, Maurice. Practice.
53
00:03:02,625 --> 00:03:04,958
Practice is the road to perfection.
54
00:03:05,083 --> 00:03:09,000
(Maurice) Or! Would have done
if the war hadn't ended, but it did.
55
00:03:10,250 --> 00:03:12,292
So, I was soon back in barrow.
56
00:03:12,833 --> 00:03:15,333
Ended up shipyard fodder after all.
57
00:03:15,458 --> 00:03:16,458
(Laughs)
58
00:03:17,417 --> 00:03:22,250
(Dick) And it was at the shipyard
that you met your wife Jean, right?
59
00:03:22,375 --> 00:03:25,375
(Maurice) Yes, I did.
I used to apply for other jobs.
60
00:03:25,500 --> 00:03:27,292
Tried lots of different things,
61
00:03:27,417 --> 00:03:31,125
and she'd let me use
the post in the office for free.
62
00:03:32,708 --> 00:03:34,292
She was very kind to me.
63
00:03:35,667 --> 00:03:40,042
In the evenings she ran,
like, a theatre group for wayward kids.
64
00:03:40,875 --> 00:03:46,083
We got on like a house on fire.
Pretty soon, I popped the question.
65
00:03:47,292 --> 00:03:50,250
Jean Patterson, will you marry me?
66
00:03:51,417 --> 00:03:54,208
I promise I'll give you champagne,
67
00:03:54,333 --> 00:03:55,458
caviar,
68
00:03:55,958 --> 00:03:57,417
diamonds.
69
00:03:57,542 --> 00:03:59,958
- We'll travel the world together.
- Stop.
70
00:04:01,042 --> 00:04:03,750
(Maurice) Turns out
she had a kid. Michael.
71
00:04:04,292 --> 00:04:08,250
Out of wedlock n'all.
Which was a big deal in those days.
72
00:04:08,875 --> 00:04:11,000
They call him all sorts at school.
73
00:04:12,167 --> 00:04:13,792
"Son of a whore".
74
00:04:14,875 --> 00:04:15,875
"Little bastard".
75
00:04:16,792 --> 00:04:18,500
(Maurice) Kids can be cruel.
76
00:04:19,292 --> 00:04:20,375
That's the teachers.
77
00:04:24,875 --> 00:04:27,958
So... he never knew his dad?
78
00:04:28,625 --> 00:04:31,042
No. Never even met him.
79
00:04:32,042 --> 00:04:34,625
As far as he knows,
he doesn't have a dad.
80
00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:38,375
Well, he does now.
81
00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:40,958
(Romantic instrumental music)
82
00:04:45,542 --> 00:04:49,500
All of a sudden, my own dreams,
well, they were put on hold.
83
00:04:49,625 --> 00:04:51,500
Cos we were a family now.
84
00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:54,292
I had to help Michael
find his dreams.
85
00:04:54,417 --> 00:04:57,458
Well, take your pick, son.
World's your oyster.
86
00:04:57,583 --> 00:04:59,500
That's for me. Racing driver.
87
00:04:59,625 --> 00:05:02,125
Astronaut.
Do you fancy a trip to the moon?
88
00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:05,000
- Engineering?
- Yeah.
89
00:05:05,125 --> 00:05:06,458
Want to read my book?
90
00:05:06,583 --> 00:05:09,583
- What do you think?
- Put it the other way round.
91
00:05:10,333 --> 00:05:14,250
(Maurice) Mikey got a degree.
Ended up a manager at the yard.
92
00:05:14,375 --> 00:05:17,333
I always fancied
a pop at academia meself,
93
00:05:17,458 --> 00:05:19,208
but pretty soon,
94
00:05:19,333 --> 00:05:22,500
we had not one,
but two more mouths to feed.
95
00:05:22,625 --> 00:05:25,167
Gene and James. Twins.
96
00:05:25,792 --> 00:05:27,667
They loved disco dancing.
97
00:05:28,333 --> 00:05:30,208
Even won the school cup.
98
00:05:31,917 --> 00:05:33,917
(Melancholic instrumental music)
99
00:05:35,542 --> 00:05:37,708
- (Indistinct)
- (Music continues)
100
00:05:38,292 --> 00:05:40,792
As for me own dreams, well,
101
00:05:40,917 --> 00:05:44,042
by now they were...
They were a distant memory.
102
00:05:44,167 --> 00:05:46,208
But I made my peace with it.
103
00:05:47,792 --> 00:05:51,250
Then came the summer of 1975
104
00:05:51,833 --> 00:05:54,833
and, well... everything changed.
105
00:05:55,792 --> 00:05:57,167
(Music building)
106
00:06:05,333 --> 00:06:08,542
- Have a look in the microwave.
- I prefer my own one.
107
00:06:08,667 --> 00:06:11,125
Gas ovens are basically mini bombs.
108
00:06:11,250 --> 00:06:14,708
Out. It's not gone off yet,
so I think we're all right.
109
00:06:14,833 --> 00:06:18,250
Can you lot shut up in there?
Out of the kitchen! Thank you.
110
00:06:18,375 --> 00:06:19,625
(Twins) Oh, yeah.
111
00:06:20,917 --> 00:06:24,208
Hey! Stop doing your stupid dancing
near the new TV!
112
00:06:24,333 --> 00:06:26,000
- It's not stupid!
- Gaom.
113
00:06:26,125 --> 00:06:28,958
- We're professional disco dancers.
- That's not a job.
114
00:06:29,083 --> 00:06:31,500
Dad, tell him it's a job.
It is a real job.
115
00:06:31,625 --> 00:06:34,333
Good a job as any.
How do you switch this on?
116
00:06:34,458 --> 00:06:37,750
- You've got to use the remote.
- Get out of that. Come on.
117
00:06:37,875 --> 00:06:41,583
- Get off! This top is gabicci!
- Ooh, it's gabicci, is it?
118
00:06:41,708 --> 00:06:44,625
- Can you pipe it down in there?
- — quiet, boys.
119
00:06:44,750 --> 00:06:46,417
Watch this. Can you do that?
120
00:06:46,542 --> 00:06:49,000
Use that to change the channels.
It's got loads.
121
00:06:49,125 --> 00:06:51,167
- How many?
- Three.
122
00:06:51,667 --> 00:06:52,792
Blimey.
123
00:06:52,917 --> 00:06:55,708
You can use that
from anywhere in the room.
124
00:06:55,833 --> 00:06:58,542
Why can't you use
the switches on the side?
125
00:06:58,667 --> 00:07:01,042
- J“ gabicci, baby... j“
- get off!
126
00:07:01,167 --> 00:07:04,292
Why do you have to use the remote?
Can't you use switches?
127
00:07:04,417 --> 00:07:07,458
- But what's the point?
- I might be standing by.
128
00:07:07,583 --> 00:07:08,958
Shut it!
129
00:07:09,083 --> 00:07:10,208
(Music continues)
130
00:07:10,333 --> 00:07:11,500
(Whines)
131
00:07:11,625 --> 00:07:12,792
(Chatter on TV)
132
00:07:15,250 --> 00:07:16,375
Dinner is served.
133
00:07:18,083 --> 00:07:22,000
'We've left Newton
and we're chugging across the Atlantic.'
134
00:07:22,125 --> 00:07:24,042
'the spacecraft is shown by...'
135
00:07:24,167 --> 00:07:26,917
look, don't quote me on this, but...
136
00:07:28,125 --> 00:07:29,958
Well, it's top secret.
137
00:07:31,375 --> 00:07:34,333
The, uh...
The yard's gonna be nationalised.
138
00:07:34,458 --> 00:07:35,542
Government's taking over.
139
00:07:39,375 --> 00:07:43,000
And Hopkins has put me
in charge of the changeover.
140
00:07:43,125 --> 00:07:46,542
Well... it's good for you, son.
141
00:07:47,333 --> 00:07:51,625
He must have a lot of faith in you,
giving you a big job like that.
142
00:07:51,750 --> 00:07:53,417
Yeah, I suppose.
143
00:07:54,583 --> 00:07:56,583
But could be bad, dad.
144
00:07:57,833 --> 00:08:01,417
There's gonna be a lot of redundancies
when the axe falls.
145
00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:04,208
I mean... a lot.
146
00:08:11,625 --> 00:08:14,792
(Maurice) They need you, he says.
So, that's good.
147
00:08:15,750 --> 00:08:16,958
What about you?
148
00:08:17,458 --> 00:08:20,792
Oh, well.
I'll get another job if it comes to it.
149
00:08:22,500 --> 00:08:24,500
- What job?
- I don't know.
150
00:08:25,583 --> 00:08:27,458
There's always the bins.
151
00:08:27,583 --> 00:08:28,667
(Maurice chuckles)
152
00:08:30,875 --> 00:08:33,167
- Come 'ere.
- I'm doing...
153
00:08:34,083 --> 00:08:35,083
Maurice.
154
00:08:40,458 --> 00:08:41,583
What is it?
155
00:08:42,792 --> 00:08:43,792
Sit down.
156
00:08:47,458 --> 00:08:48,458
Hey.
157
00:08:50,333 --> 00:08:54,417
I knew a young man once.
Said he was gonna be a somebody.
158
00:08:57,125 --> 00:09:01,500
Promised me diamonds,
caviar, champagne.
159
00:09:02,667 --> 00:09:04,417
"Travel the world", he said.
160
00:09:05,417 --> 00:09:08,333
Sounds like you...
You should've married him.
161
00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:16,833
I know you've made
sacrifices for us, Maurice.
162
00:09:18,208 --> 00:09:20,750
You don't have
to look after us anymore.
163
00:09:22,208 --> 00:09:23,375
It's your turn now.
164
00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:26,000
For what?
165
00:09:27,042 --> 00:09:28,958
Well, it's up to you, in't it?
166
00:09:29,708 --> 00:09:31,583
Can't think of everything.
167
00:09:37,667 --> 00:09:39,583
(Melancholic instrumental music)
168
00:10:04,875 --> 00:10:06,208
What we got today?
169
00:10:06,333 --> 00:10:07,833
- Cheese and pickle.
- Ooh.
170
00:10:07,958 --> 00:10:11,000
- What?
- That is my favourite, that is.
171
00:10:11,125 --> 00:10:16,333
We've been hearing rumours there might be
some business going on. You heard anything?
172
00:10:17,292 --> 00:10:20,667
Look, uh, I shouldn't be telling you,
lads, it's secret.
173
00:10:20,792 --> 00:10:23,667
But, uh... it's being nationalised.
174
00:10:23,792 --> 00:10:27,458
- What does that mean?
- Redundancies. Lots of 'em.
175
00:10:27,583 --> 00:10:30,458
So, if I were you,
I'd get looking for something else.
176
00:10:31,208 --> 00:10:32,333
Shit.
177
00:10:32,458 --> 00:10:35,375
I see it as an opportunity, actually.
Why not?
178
00:10:35,500 --> 00:10:39,292
What we got to lose?
"Seek and thou shalt find" and all that.
179
00:10:40,083 --> 00:10:42,500
Willie, there must be something
you always wanted to do,
180
00:10:42,625 --> 00:10:45,292
if you could do anything
in the whole world, what would you do?
181
00:10:45,417 --> 00:10:48,042
- I don't know.
- What do you like doing?
182
00:10:48,167 --> 00:10:49,167
Mmm...
183
00:10:49,792 --> 00:10:51,000
Drinking guinness.
184
00:10:53,875 --> 00:10:55,917
Well, open an Irish pub.
185
00:10:56,042 --> 00:10:57,958
Your own Irish pub in barrow.
186
00:10:58,875 --> 00:11:02,333
- Cliff, you can go back to your old job.
- What old job?
187
00:11:02,458 --> 00:11:04,667
You said you did a bank job once.
188
00:11:04,792 --> 00:11:07,250
Right, yeah, um... well, that's a...
189
00:11:07,375 --> 00:11:09,542
That's a young man's game, mate.
190
00:11:09,667 --> 00:11:12,542
Oh, come on, lads.
We're in the prime of our lives.
191
00:11:12,667 --> 00:11:14,917
Shouldn't be talking like that.
192
00:11:15,042 --> 00:11:16,375
(Indistinct chatter)
193
00:11:22,583 --> 00:11:25,250
(Jean) I'm going up, love.
What are you doing?
194
00:11:25,375 --> 00:11:28,500
I've gotta finish
this flipping nun's habit.
195
00:11:28,625 --> 00:11:32,333
- Don't be too late. You'll hurt your eyes.
- It has to be done.
196
00:11:34,875 --> 00:11:36,583
(Jean) Night. (Maurice) Night.
197
00:11:37,750 --> 00:11:38,875
(Jean) Night, love.
198
00:11:47,375 --> 00:11:48,792
(Mumbling)
199
00:11:56,417 --> 00:12:00,083
'I believe that the job you do
is fundamental
200
00:12:00,208 --> 00:12:02,000
to the future of britain.'
201
00:12:03,625 --> 00:12:05,625
(Tony) 'Newton from the bunker.'
202
00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:09,250
(applause)
203
00:12:11,708 --> 00:12:13,292
'And now to Watson.'
204
00:12:17,958 --> 00:12:19,833
(audience react)
205
00:12:19,958 --> 00:12:21,917
'Just misses on the right.'
206
00:12:22,042 --> 00:12:23,292
(applause)
207
00:12:24,875 --> 00:12:26,792
'If he can just get this in...'
208
00:12:36,375 --> 00:12:39,625
'It's all on this
to equal Watson's score.'
209
00:12:47,125 --> 00:12:48,875
(Applause)
210
00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:51,667
'The title goes to Tom Watson.'
211
00:12:52,625 --> 00:12:55,917
'on his first appearance
at this tournament.'
212
00:13:01,958 --> 00:13:04,500
(Instrumental music)
213
00:13:09,708 --> 00:13:13,167
'The new champion, Tom Watson.'
214
00:13:13,292 --> 00:13:14,958
'what a dream come true.'
215
00:13:19,792 --> 00:13:21,042
(music building)
216
00:13:37,667 --> 00:13:38,833
(Music slows down)
217
00:14:22,167 --> 00:14:23,417
(Screams)
218
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:28,000
(Laughs)
219
00:14:32,542 --> 00:14:33,542
Whoa!
220
00:14:34,042 --> 00:14:35,292
(Laughs)
221
00:14:35,417 --> 00:14:36,542
Whoa!
222
00:14:39,167 --> 00:14:41,292
(Tony) 'So, there we have it.'
223
00:14:41,417 --> 00:14:43,250
'what an image to end on.'
224
00:14:43,375 --> 00:14:45,833
'Tom Watson
with the famous claret jug.'
225
00:14:47,125 --> 00:14:50,833
'i hope you'll join me, Tony marsh,
and the rest of the commentary team
226
00:14:50,958 --> 00:14:53,000
for the dunlop British masters.'
227
00:14:53,125 --> 00:14:54,125
(James) Dad.
228
00:14:55,958 --> 00:14:58,500
- You all right, love?
- We heard screaming.
229
00:15:07,708 --> 00:15:10,667
- Where is it?
- (Jean) What you looking for, love?
230
00:15:19,250 --> 00:15:23,292
(I the drifters: "You're more
than a number in my little red book" j“)
231
00:15:24,750 --> 00:15:26,542
J“ oh-oh-oh j“
232
00:15:26,667 --> 00:15:27,667
j“ yeah j“
233
00:15:27,792 --> 00:15:29,208
j“ yesj“
234
00:15:31,292 --> 00:15:35,000
j“ you're more than a number
in my little red book j“
235
00:15:35,125 --> 00:15:39,417
j“ you're more than a one-night date j“
236
00:15:39,542 --> 00:15:43,208
j“ all it had to take me
was just one look j“
237
00:15:43,333 --> 00:15:45,583
j“ my heart began a thumpin' j“
238
00:15:45,708 --> 00:15:48,417
j“ babe, you had it jumpin'
cos you're more... j“j“
239
00:15:48,542 --> 00:15:50,583
- (Maurice) Golf.
- Golf?
240
00:15:51,083 --> 00:15:52,083
Aye, golf.
241
00:15:53,542 --> 00:15:56,542
- Golf?
- Saw it last night on me new telly.
242
00:15:56,667 --> 00:16:01,042
Want to have a crack at the British open.
Ten grand if you win it.
243
00:16:01,625 --> 00:16:03,917
Ten grand? Bloody hell.
244
00:16:04,500 --> 00:16:06,708
How do you go about
getting in the British open?
245
00:16:06,833 --> 00:16:09,917
Idunno,
that's what I've got to find out.
246
00:16:10,042 --> 00:16:13,417
"Bartender, beautician, buses".
247
00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:16,542
Sorry, there's nothing
about the British open.
248
00:16:17,375 --> 00:16:21,292
- That's disappointing.
- Maybe ask someone at your golf club.
249
00:16:21,417 --> 00:16:23,625
- No, I'm not a member of a club.
- Ok.
250
00:16:24,792 --> 00:16:28,500
So, do you know anyone
who has anything to do with golf?
251
00:16:31,083 --> 00:16:32,583
(Phones ringing)
252
00:16:34,417 --> 00:16:35,500
Hang on.
253
00:16:36,292 --> 00:16:38,000
Yes, I do. I do.
254
00:16:38,125 --> 00:16:42,583
J“ you're more than a one-night date j“
255
00:16:42,708 --> 00:16:45,667
j“ all it had to take me
was just one look j“
256
00:16:46,417 --> 00:16:48,083
j“ my heart began a thumpin' j“
257
00:16:48,208 --> 00:16:50,875
j“ babe, you had it jumpin'
cos you're more j“j“
258
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:51,875
(song stops)
259
00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:56,250
(Jean) Mind your fingers.
(James) Right. Next. What is a par?
260
00:16:56,375 --> 00:16:59,583
A par is the optimum amount of shots
on any given hole.
261
00:16:59,708 --> 00:17:03,708
So, for example, on a par four,
the optimal amount of shots is four.
262
00:17:03,833 --> 00:17:06,917
Correct. What is a birdie?
263
00:17:07,042 --> 00:17:11,000
(Maurice) One shot under the par.
80, for example, par four, three.
264
00:17:11,125 --> 00:17:12,542
Uh, and a bogey?
265
00:17:12,667 --> 00:17:16,292
Bogey? I know that one, dad.
Here, that's one of these, mate.
266
00:17:16,417 --> 00:17:17,667
(Maurice) Wow.
267
00:17:18,625 --> 00:17:22,875
- Oh, they're even better than I thought.
- So shiny, aren't they?
268
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:25,083
These were the cheapest ones n'all.
269
00:17:25,208 --> 00:17:26,500
- Really?
- Look.
270
00:17:26,625 --> 00:17:29,042
- Crikey.
- Number 90.
271
00:17:29,167 --> 00:17:33,000
- Need to be a millionaire to play this.
- You should see what the clothes cost.
272
00:17:33,125 --> 00:17:35,083
- Really?
- Might get cliff onto it.
273
00:17:35,208 --> 00:17:37,583
'...Maurice flitcroft
in barrow-in-furness.'
274
00:17:37,708 --> 00:17:40,125
- dad! You're on telly!
- No, what?
275
00:17:40,250 --> 00:17:41,583
Yeah, sh, come, come.
276
00:17:41,708 --> 00:17:44,542
"'...getting into the British open
championship,
277
00:17:44,667 --> 00:17:47,250
as I quite fancy lifting
the old claret jug".'
278
00:17:47,375 --> 00:17:49,625
'well, Maurice, all you have to do
279
00:17:49,750 --> 00:17:52,875
is write to the royal & ancient golf club
in st Andrews, Scotland,
280
00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:55,042
and they'll send you an entry form.'
281
00:17:55,167 --> 00:17:56,583
'but remember,
282
00:17:56,708 --> 00:18:00,583
ask your mum and dad before
you use all their stamps and things.'
283
00:18:00,708 --> 00:18:05,250
'always warms my cockles when we get letters
from keen youngsters like little Maurice.'
284
00:18:10,875 --> 00:18:13,792
"Left arm
perpendicular to the sternum."
285
00:18:15,917 --> 00:18:18,125
"Head at 30 degrees."
286
00:18:19,208 --> 00:18:21,500
"Knees flexed at 20."
287
00:18:22,083 --> 00:18:23,750
Just try and hit the ball.
288
00:18:25,417 --> 00:18:26,792
- Ah!
- (Dog barking)
289
00:18:27,625 --> 00:18:29,042
What are you playing at?
290
00:18:29,708 --> 00:18:32,167
Sorry! Flipping heck!
291
00:18:33,625 --> 00:18:35,625
- I don't owe you anything?
- No.
292
00:18:35,750 --> 00:18:37,375
- For all this?
- No. No.
293
00:18:37,500 --> 00:18:41,250
I got all this and all this
from my mate John down the market.
294
00:18:41,792 --> 00:18:43,000
- This too?
- Yeah.
295
00:18:43,125 --> 00:18:45,208
- Suede.
- It's good stuff, innit?
296
00:18:46,042 --> 00:18:47,083
That's perfect.
297
00:18:47,208 --> 00:18:48,458
(Cliff laughs)
298
00:18:49,792 --> 00:18:52,208
Deorum vestimenta sua.
299
00:18:52,333 --> 00:18:53,333
You what?
300
00:18:53,458 --> 00:18:55,833
Clothes of the gods, cliff.
301
00:18:56,417 --> 00:18:59,167
Well, he only gets the best,
does Jim.
302
00:18:59,292 --> 00:19:00,917
I thought it were John.
303
00:19:01,042 --> 00:19:03,583
John. John. Yeah, John.
Yeah, good lad, John.
304
00:19:05,958 --> 00:19:07,333
Sandwiches look nice, Jean.
305
00:19:07,458 --> 00:19:10,583
Love. Can you stop worrying
about what you look like?
306
00:19:10,708 --> 00:19:13,375
- Got to finish filling in this form first.
- Hm.
307
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:16,833
What does that mean, handicap?
308
00:19:16,958 --> 00:19:19,958
That must be me ailments, I suppose.
309
00:19:20,083 --> 00:19:24,667
Oh, like your false teeth?
Lumbago. Touch of arthritis.
310
00:19:24,792 --> 00:19:26,958
- Shall I put that down?
- Aye.
311
00:19:27,083 --> 00:19:28,917
- Hello.
- You all right, lads?
312
00:19:30,167 --> 00:19:32,500
- Here you go, dad.
- What's that?
313
00:19:32,625 --> 00:19:35,917
- So you can practise on a proper course.
- We got it dancing on the street.
314
00:19:36,042 --> 00:19:38,958
Should've seen it.
They were just chucking it at us.
315
00:19:39,083 --> 00:19:40,125
That's incredible.
316
00:19:40,792 --> 00:19:44,708
What do you hope to achieve?
You know, with this dancing lark.
317
00:19:44,833 --> 00:19:45,958
- Money.
- Birds.
318
00:19:47,250 --> 00:19:51,750
"We're all of us in the gutter, but some of
us are looking at the stars." Who said that?
319
00:19:51,875 --> 00:19:53,083
- Oscar wilde.
- (Mouthing)
320
00:19:53,208 --> 00:19:57,000
- What do you think he meant?
- (Cliff) Don't sleep in the gutter.
321
00:19:58,375 --> 00:19:59,792
Aim for the stars.
322
00:19:59,917 --> 00:20:02,958
I mean, isn't there a trophy
or a world cup or summat?
323
00:20:03,542 --> 00:20:04,792
Yeah, think so.
324
00:20:04,917 --> 00:20:08,625
- Well, enter it! Go and win it!
- But what if we lose?
325
00:20:08,750 --> 00:20:12,000
It doesn't matter.
At least you tried. That's the main thing.
326
00:20:12,125 --> 00:20:14,708
There's more to life
than money, boys.
327
00:20:14,833 --> 00:20:15,873
- Ain't that right?
- Yeah.
328
00:20:15,958 --> 00:20:19,000
Though, having said that,
money is flipping handy.
329
00:20:19,917 --> 00:20:22,250
Especially if you play golf.
330
00:20:22,375 --> 00:20:23,125
- Yeah.
- Cheers!
331
00:20:23,250 --> 00:20:26,333
- You're welcome, dad.
- Thanks. Look at that, Jean.
332
00:20:26,458 --> 00:20:28,583
- Oh, hang on a minute.
- It's heavy.
333
00:20:28,708 --> 00:20:32,833
It says: "Don't need a handicap
if you're a professional."
334
00:20:33,500 --> 00:20:37,792
Well, cross out that other stuff.
Tick professional. Make things easier.
335
00:20:37,917 --> 00:20:39,125
- Professional?
- Mm-hm.
336
00:20:39,250 --> 00:20:40,708
- You sure?
- Listen,
337
00:20:40,833 --> 00:20:43,625
you didn't see me practising
this morning.
338
00:20:44,708 --> 00:20:47,417
- I am a whisker away.
- All right.
339
00:20:48,250 --> 00:20:50,417
(Whispering) A whisker away.
340
00:20:56,833 --> 00:20:58,375
(Indistinct chatter)
341
00:21:02,750 --> 00:21:04,708
(Instrumental music building)
342
00:21:25,708 --> 00:21:26,750
(Birds chirping)
343
00:21:53,958 --> 00:21:56,250
(Melancholic instrumental music)
344
00:21:56,375 --> 00:21:57,833
(Chuckling)
345
00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:06,667
(People cheering)
346
00:22:06,792 --> 00:22:08,083
(Applause)
347
00:22:13,125 --> 00:22:17,792
(Announcer) 'Please welcome on the tee,
Maurice g flitcroft.'
348
00:22:22,458 --> 00:22:23,458
(music stops)
349
00:22:24,667 --> 00:22:26,417
You all right down there, old boy?
350
00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:29,542
Oh, yes.
351
00:22:30,167 --> 00:22:31,167
Hello, gents.
352
00:22:31,292 --> 00:22:34,333
Are you in the right place,
old chap?
353
00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:39,542
Yes, I'm here to join the club.
And I see you're a three ball.
354
00:22:39,667 --> 00:22:43,917
If you care to make it a four,
I'm available. Happy to join.
355
00:22:44,042 --> 00:22:46,750
Ugh, we're, um...
We're waiting for someone.
356
00:22:46,875 --> 00:22:48,583
Yes. George.
357
00:22:49,708 --> 00:22:51,292
George green.
358
00:22:54,667 --> 00:22:57,250
Actually,
thanks for the offer, gents,
359
00:22:57,375 --> 00:22:59,958
but, uh, on second thought,
360
00:23:00,083 --> 00:23:03,792
I think I'd prefer to play on my own today,
I hope you don't mind.
361
00:23:04,708 --> 00:23:06,375
Maurice flitcroft.
362
00:23:15,042 --> 00:23:16,375
Good luck, gents.
363
00:23:17,375 --> 00:23:18,458
(Quietly) Tossers.
364
00:23:19,375 --> 00:23:20,667
Flippin' people.
365
00:23:22,292 --> 00:23:23,292
Snobs.
366
00:23:24,667 --> 00:23:26,208
- Bloody...
- Excuse me, sir!
367
00:23:26,333 --> 00:23:31,750
Hello, there. Allow me to introduce myself.
I'm Bruce atkins, the steward of the club.
368
00:23:31,875 --> 00:23:33,833
Oh, hello, Bruce. I...
369
00:23:35,333 --> 00:23:36,667
I'm Maurice.
370
00:23:36,792 --> 00:23:39,250
How may I help you today, Maurice?
371
00:23:39,375 --> 00:23:41,250
I'm here to join the club, please.
372
00:23:42,167 --> 00:23:43,167
I see.
373
00:23:44,333 --> 00:23:48,250
That's fine. But there is a procedure
to get entry to the club.
374
00:23:48,375 --> 00:23:49,833
- Procedure?
- Yes.
375
00:23:49,958 --> 00:23:52,708
You must be recommended
by a committee member.
376
00:23:52,833 --> 00:23:54,167
You must play with two members
377
00:23:54,292 --> 00:23:57,250
to ascertain your level of skill,
etiquette, etc.
378
00:23:57,375 --> 00:24:00,500
Your application will be forwarded
to the members committee,
379
00:24:00,625 --> 00:24:04,167
whereupon, if accepted,
you'll be placed on the waiting list.
380
00:24:04,292 --> 00:24:06,833
- How long's the waiting list?
- Two years.
381
00:24:06,958 --> 00:24:08,375
- That's no good.
- Really?
382
00:24:08,500 --> 00:24:12,083
- No, I'm playing in the British open.
- The British open?
383
00:24:12,667 --> 00:24:15,167
So, I'll just play a round now.
384
00:24:15,833 --> 00:24:18,958
- Very well. That'll be five pounds.
- Five pounds?
385
00:24:19,083 --> 00:24:22,458
And you'd need to buy
some regulation golf shoes.
386
00:24:22,583 --> 00:24:25,042
- We don't allow work boots.
- How much are the shoes?
387
00:24:25,167 --> 00:24:28,417
Ten pounds. With the green fee,
that makes a round 15.
388
00:24:28,542 --> 00:24:30,750
Do you have 15 pounds, Maurice?
389
00:24:47,917 --> 00:24:50,708
(Whispering) Here he is.
Maurice g flitcroft.
390
00:24:58,667 --> 00:25:01,542
Only requires par for victory.
391
00:25:03,333 --> 00:25:06,208
Hey! Get off the golf course!
392
00:25:06,792 --> 00:25:08,917
What you doing? Hey!
393
00:25:10,042 --> 00:25:12,250
Oh! You cheeky sod!
394
00:25:12,375 --> 00:25:14,417
Oh, f... I've left me balls.
395
00:25:15,667 --> 00:25:17,042
Are you deaf?
396
00:25:18,917 --> 00:25:20,000
- Tosser!
- Go on!
397
00:25:21,167 --> 00:25:23,000
- Hands in your pockets.
- (Jean) Maurice?
398
00:25:23,125 --> 00:25:24,708
Yeah, it's not bad, is it?
399
00:25:25,833 --> 00:25:30,000
Bloody hell. I thought golf
was supposed to be relaxing, love.
400
00:25:30,125 --> 00:25:31,750
- So did I.
- What's happened?
401
00:25:31,875 --> 00:25:35,125
Oh. Uh... I'm giving up
on the open, son.
402
00:25:35,250 --> 00:25:37,708
- Oh. No. No, you're not.
- I am, love.
403
00:25:37,833 --> 00:25:41,042
I said you're not.
Not until you've opened this. Go on.
404
00:25:41,167 --> 00:25:42,750
J“ like dancing
405
00:25:42,875 --> 00:25:45,125
j“ I feel like dancing, ooh
406
00:25:45,250 --> 00:25:47,958
j“ dancing, ooh, dance the night away j“
407
00:25:48,083 --> 00:25:50,875
j“ I feel like dancing, ooh, dancing j“
408
00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:53,292
j“ ah-ah-ah-ah j“
409
00:25:54,250 --> 00:25:56,917
j“ quarter to four in the morning j“
410
00:25:58,958 --> 00:26:01,458
j“ I ain't feeling
tired, no, no, no... j“j“
411
00:26:01,583 --> 00:26:04,143
so, I said: "Listen, television is
the only way to keep up with the Americans.
412
00:26:04,167 --> 00:26:06,047
Prestige comes to
nothing if you can't see it."
413
00:26:06,125 --> 00:26:08,083
- What did they say?
- (Knocking)
414
00:26:08,583 --> 00:26:10,375
Excuse me, mr MacKenzie, sir.
415
00:26:11,167 --> 00:26:13,833
Yes, Jenny! Again!
What can I do for you?
416
00:26:13,958 --> 00:26:17,292
Sorry, sir. I just want
to show you this application.
417
00:26:18,375 --> 00:26:20,292
I'm not sure what to do with it.
418
00:26:21,458 --> 00:26:24,375
Oh, good lord.
Well, he's ticked professional, so...
419
00:26:24,500 --> 00:26:28,042
- I just wondered whether it's real.
- Whether what's real?
420
00:26:28,167 --> 00:26:30,000
Whether he really is a professional.
421
00:26:30,125 --> 00:26:33,208
Why would someone say they're
a professional when they're not?
422
00:26:33,833 --> 00:26:36,167
Well... to get into the open.
423
00:26:37,042 --> 00:26:40,625
I don't think anyone's gonna be
stupid enough to do that, m'dear.
424
00:26:40,750 --> 00:26:43,375
No, that would be
very stupid indeed.
425
00:26:44,042 --> 00:26:46,000
J“ doo-doo-doo-doo doob-doob-doob j“
426
00:26:46,583 --> 00:26:48,625
j“ doo-doo-doo-doo doob-doob-doob... j“j“
427
00:26:49,542 --> 00:26:50,542
I'm in.
428
00:26:51,500 --> 00:26:54,708
I best get cliff to get me
some new golf shoes.
429
00:26:57,875 --> 00:26:58,875
(Song stops)
430
00:27:01,583 --> 00:27:03,875
(Phone ringing)
431
00:27:05,875 --> 00:27:08,417
(J“ the foundations:
"Build me up buttercup" j“)
432
00:27:15,833 --> 00:27:18,125
Practice is the road to perfection.
433
00:27:20,583 --> 00:27:23,458
- J“ why do you build me up j“
- j“ build me up j“
434
00:27:23,583 --> 00:27:25,042
j“ buttercup, baby j“
435
00:27:25,167 --> 00:27:27,125
- j“ just to let me down j“
- j“ let me down j“
436
00:27:27,250 --> 00:27:29,250
j“ and mess me around... j“j“
437
00:27:31,458 --> 00:27:35,125
flippin' heck.
Can't see a flippin' thing.
438
00:27:35,708 --> 00:27:37,333
- J“ ineed you j“
- j“ ineed you j“
439
00:27:37,458 --> 00:27:39,333
j“ more than anyone, darling... j“j“
440
00:27:39,458 --> 00:27:42,750
- go.
- J“ you know that I have from the start
441
00:27:43,333 --> 00:27:45,013
- j“ so, build me up j“
- j“ build me up j“
442
00:27:45,083 --> 00:27:46,167
j“ buttercup j“
443
00:27:46,292 --> 00:27:47,958
j“ don't break my heart j“
444
00:27:50,292 --> 00:27:53,583
j“ "I'll be over at ten"
you told me time and again j“
445
00:27:53,708 --> 00:27:54,792
j“ but you're late j“
446
00:27:55,625 --> 00:27:57,625
- j“ I wait around and then... j“
- fore!
447
00:27:57,750 --> 00:28:00,542
J“ I went to the door
I can't take any more... j“j“
448
00:28:00,667 --> 00:28:03,917
hey! That was a good one! I think.
449
00:28:04,042 --> 00:28:05,250
J“ hey, hey, heyj“
450
00:28:05,375 --> 00:28:07,583
j“ baby, baby, try to find... j“j“
451
00:28:07,708 --> 00:28:08,833
Mike.
452
00:28:12,667 --> 00:28:15,333
- Dad, w-what you doing here?
- Hello, son.
453
00:28:15,458 --> 00:28:17,000
This your new office, is it?
454
00:28:17,125 --> 00:28:18,500
- Yeah.
- Give us a look.
455
00:28:18,625 --> 00:28:21,000
It's not a great time.
We got some big deals going down.
456
00:28:21,125 --> 00:28:22,917
Oh, big deals?
457
00:28:23,542 --> 00:28:25,792
- Want a ciggy?
- No, no, you're ok.
458
00:28:25,917 --> 00:28:29,833
Son, I might, um,
might need a couple of days off,
459
00:28:29,958 --> 00:28:31,292
next Thursday, Friday.
460
00:28:31,417 --> 00:28:33,958
- Can you swing it?
- I'll see what I can do.
461
00:28:34,083 --> 00:28:37,708
I think I might've found meself
a new job.
462
00:28:37,833 --> 00:28:39,875
- Like you said.
- Great, dad.
463
00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:43,375
Mm. Yes, it is great.
Quite exciting, actually.
464
00:28:43,500 --> 00:28:47,042
I'm entering the British open,
you know. The golf thing.
465
00:28:47,917 --> 00:28:51,917
- Gonna go for it, I'm pretty good.
- I've got to go, but that's good.
466
00:28:52,042 --> 00:28:54,500
All right. It's good to have
yoursuppofl, son.
467
00:28:54,625 --> 00:28:56,125
Go on, get in there.
468
00:28:56,250 --> 00:28:58,458
- Ok, I'll see you later.
- All right.
469
00:28:58,583 --> 00:29:00,000
Ah, Mike.
470
00:29:00,125 --> 00:29:02,500
Hi, nice to meet ya. Mike flitcroft.
471
00:29:02,625 --> 00:29:03,865
- Be fine.
- It's not gonna fit.
472
00:29:03,958 --> 00:29:05,458
- Oh, yeah.
- Gene?
473
00:29:05,583 --> 00:29:07,958
Yeah, it's, like, aluminium,
so it'll bend.
474
00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:10,917
- Bloody hell! Very nice!
- Shit!
475
00:29:11,042 --> 00:29:14,125
- Lovely.
- It's all right, it's fine. Can you help?
476
00:29:14,250 --> 00:29:15,792
- Well done.
- Can you help?
477
00:29:15,917 --> 00:29:18,292
- You ready, lads?
- Yeah, fine. All good.
478
00:29:18,417 --> 00:29:20,750
Yeah, ready.
Just putting it in the...
479
00:29:20,875 --> 00:29:22,208
No, no, I'll do it.
480
00:29:22,333 --> 00:29:24,625
- Come here.
- That's all fine. Here ya are.
481
00:29:24,750 --> 00:29:26,125
- Yeah.
- Look at that.
482
00:29:27,333 --> 00:29:29,125
Just remember,
483
00:29:29,250 --> 00:29:33,458
know whatever happens,
no one can say you didn't try.
484
00:29:33,583 --> 00:29:35,375
(Slow piano music)
485
00:29:35,500 --> 00:29:37,292
- You got your sandwiches?
- Sandwiches.
486
00:29:37,417 --> 00:29:39,458
Uh-huh. Good.
487
00:29:39,583 --> 00:29:41,042
- Made plenty.
- Thanks.
488
00:29:41,167 --> 00:29:43,250
- I got it.
- Don't eat them all on the journey.
489
00:29:43,375 --> 00:29:44,750
- No.
- Oh, no, no.
490
00:29:44,875 --> 00:29:45,875
Come here, you.
491
00:29:46,667 --> 00:29:47,667
Good luck.
492
00:29:48,125 --> 00:29:49,208
I love you.
493
00:29:56,625 --> 00:29:59,208
- Come on, come on with.
- No, put me down.
494
00:30:01,250 --> 00:30:04,125
Come on, you'll be late. Get going.
495
00:30:04,250 --> 00:30:05,875
I know, I love you too.
496
00:30:08,625 --> 00:30:12,250
I'm gonna get some claret for that jug,
on the mantelpiece.
497
00:30:12,375 --> 00:30:14,292
- Do it.
- I'll get onto it.
498
00:30:15,375 --> 00:30:16,667
- Bye, love.
- Love ya.
499
00:30:16,792 --> 00:30:18,083
(Jean) Love you more.
500
00:30:26,667 --> 00:30:31,333
(Tony) 'The sun is shining this morning
at formby golf club on merseyside,
501
00:30:31,458 --> 00:30:33,292
where, in a few minutes time,
502
00:30:33,417 --> 00:30:37,458
the new stars of the golfing world
will take their first steps
503
00:30:37,583 --> 00:30:40,125
to claiming the historic claret jug
504
00:30:40,250 --> 00:30:43,167
and a cheque
for ten thousand pounds.'
505
00:30:43,708 --> 00:30:45,542
'join us here in about an hour
506
00:30:45,667 --> 00:30:49,458
for what promises to be
a tournament to remember.'
507
00:31:01,042 --> 00:31:04,250
Oh, you practise on the beach 'n all?
508
00:31:04,833 --> 00:31:06,833
Uh, sorry, my English...
509
00:31:06,958 --> 00:31:09,042
Oh, no. Um...
510
00:31:09,167 --> 00:31:12,458
- Gpracticas en la playa también?
- Si.
511
00:31:12,583 --> 00:31:16,208
(In Spanish)
512
00:31:16,333 --> 00:31:19,208
Yeah, the banker. Si.
513
00:31:19,917 --> 00:31:23,458
Um, Maurice. Maurice flitcroft.
514
00:31:23,583 --> 00:31:25,833
- Severiano ballesteros.
- You what?
515
00:31:25,958 --> 00:31:27,458
(In Spanish)
516
00:31:27,583 --> 00:31:29,375
Oh, si. Seve, seve. Hm.
517
00:31:29,500 --> 00:31:30,917
(In Spanish)
518
00:31:31,792 --> 00:31:33,833
(In Spanish)
519
00:31:46,208 --> 00:31:47,208
- Si. — uh— huh.
520
00:31:55,083 --> 00:31:56,708
(In English)
You know what I mean?
521
00:31:57,667 --> 00:32:00,167
(In Spanish)
522
00:32:15,417 --> 00:32:17,000
(In English) Watch out, seve.
523
00:32:17,917 --> 00:32:19,750
(In Spanish)
524
00:32:32,042 --> 00:32:33,375
(Indistinct chatter)
525
00:32:42,167 --> 00:32:43,375
Thank you.
526
00:32:48,458 --> 00:32:51,250
Righto, son. What's first up?
527
00:32:51,375 --> 00:32:52,958
Uh, first hole.
528
00:32:53,083 --> 00:32:55,417
Um, 460 yards.
529
00:32:55,917 --> 00:32:57,708
Trouble left and right.
530
00:32:59,708 --> 00:33:02,000
Four hundred and sixty yards.
Parfive.
531
00:33:02,125 --> 00:33:03,667
- Par four.
- Par four.
532
00:33:06,125 --> 00:33:09,833
Take a driver, get it up there.
Give us a chance going at the green.
533
00:33:09,958 --> 00:33:13,875
No. I've been a bit wild, you know,
just of late, with me driver.
534
00:33:14,000 --> 00:33:17,625
I'll take... I'll take me 4-wood.
I never miss with that.
535
00:33:17,750 --> 00:33:19,625
Yeah. Ok.
536
00:33:27,292 --> 00:33:30,792
- Sorry, dad. There's no 4-wood.
- You what?
537
00:33:30,917 --> 00:33:33,125
I must've left the 4-wood
in the car.
538
00:33:36,542 --> 00:33:40,375
- It's fucking James' fault!
- No, all right, son. It's all right.
539
00:33:41,333 --> 00:33:44,417
I'll take me driver.
Mind your language on the course.
540
00:33:44,542 --> 00:33:46,167
Yeah, sorry, dad.
541
00:33:47,292 --> 00:33:50,417
'Ladies and gentlemen,
this is game number 14.'
542
00:33:51,000 --> 00:33:52,917
'please welcome on the tee,
543
00:33:53,042 --> 00:33:56,333
representing pontypool golf club,
wales,
544
00:33:56,458 --> 00:33:59,208
and sponsored by conways,
545
00:33:59,333 --> 00:34:00,792
Jim Howard.'
546
00:34:02,500 --> 00:34:03,500
(applause)
547
00:34:16,542 --> 00:34:17,917
Fucking 'ell!
548
00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:22,167
'Please welcome on the tee,
549
00:34:22,292 --> 00:34:25,417
representing la boudin golf club,
France,
550
00:34:25,542 --> 00:34:28,292
and sponsored by mcgranger sport,
551
00:34:28,417 --> 00:34:29,833
Laurent lambert.'
552
00:34:40,292 --> 00:34:41,542
(Spectator) Oh.
553
00:34:46,583 --> 00:34:49,458
'And finally,
please welcome on the tee,
554
00:34:49,583 --> 00:34:53,083
representing cumbria
county golf club, england,
555
00:34:53,208 --> 00:34:55,333
and sponsored by
556
00:34:55,458 --> 00:34:57,917
vickers shipyard,
557
00:34:58,042 --> 00:34:59,708
Maurice g flitcroft.'
558
00:35:27,833 --> 00:35:29,542
(Tense music)
559
00:35:32,417 --> 00:35:34,083
(Wind howling)
560
00:35:39,500 --> 00:35:40,958
(Uplifting music)
561
00:35:54,542 --> 00:35:55,542
(Thud)
562
00:35:56,375 --> 00:35:57,375
(Music stops)
563
00:36:01,375 --> 00:36:03,750
(People whispering indistinctly)
564
00:36:18,375 --> 00:36:20,875
Right, son. What we got left?
565
00:36:21,375 --> 00:36:23,417
Uh, well...
566
00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:26,167
Hole's 460 and...
567
00:36:26,958 --> 00:36:29,250
What we gone? Uh, eight.
568
00:36:29,917 --> 00:36:32,417
So, 452 to the pin.
569
00:36:32,542 --> 00:36:35,208
Right. I'll take...
I'll take me three iron.
570
00:36:35,333 --> 00:36:37,083
I'll just go for position.
571
00:36:37,625 --> 00:36:38,625
Yeah.
572
00:36:54,667 --> 00:36:56,833
- Great shot, dad.
- It's all right.
573
00:36:57,458 --> 00:36:58,750
Yeah, that'll do.
574
00:36:58,875 --> 00:37:01,042
(J“ Louis prima:
"When you're smiling" j“)
575
00:37:02,292 --> 00:37:04,184
- J“ when you're smiling j“
- j“ when you're smiling j“
576
00:37:04,208 --> 00:37:06,368
- j“ when you're smiling j“
- j“ when you're smiling j“
577
00:37:06,417 --> 00:37:08,000
j“ and the whole world j“
578
00:37:08,125 --> 00:37:09,965
- j“ smiles with you j“
- j“ smiles with you j“
579
00:37:10,000 --> 00:37:12,351
- j“ and when you're laughing j“
- j“ when you're laughing j“
580
00:37:12,375 --> 00:37:14,750
- j“ oh, you're laughing j“
- j“ oh, you're laughing j“
581
00:37:14,875 --> 00:37:17,500
j“ mmmm
when the sun comes shining through j“
582
00:37:17,625 --> 00:37:18,625
- j“ shining through
583
00:37:18,750 --> 00:37:21,125
- j“ when you're crying j“
- j“ when you're crying j“
584
00:37:21,250 --> 00:37:23,018
- j“ you bring on the rain j“
- j“ bring on the rain j“
585
00:37:23,042 --> 00:37:24,976
- j“ stop your sighing j“
- j“ stop your sighing j“
586
00:37:25,000 --> 00:37:26,809
- j“ oh, to be happy again j“
- j“ happy again j“
587
00:37:26,833 --> 00:37:28,809
- j“ when you're smiling j“
- j“ when you're smiling j“
588
00:37:28,833 --> 00:37:30,833
- j“ keep on smiling j“
- j“ keep on smiling j“
589
00:37:30,958 --> 00:37:34,542
j“ and the whole world
smiles with you j“
590
00:37:34,667 --> 00:37:35,500
j“ let's go now j“
591
00:37:35,625 --> 00:37:36,625
j“ let's go j“
592
00:37:38,333 --> 00:37:39,667
j“ come on... j“j“
593
00:37:43,042 --> 00:37:44,708
gene. Concentrate.
594
00:37:44,833 --> 00:37:46,667
- Yeah, I was.
- Flippin' heck.
595
00:37:48,292 --> 00:37:50,125
(Grunts) You see?
596
00:37:50,250 --> 00:37:52,625
(Song continues, instrumental)
597
00:37:57,250 --> 00:37:58,250
(Cheering)
598
00:37:59,875 --> 00:38:00,875
(Applause)
599
00:38:01,750 --> 00:38:02,750
(Indistinct)
600
00:38:07,417 --> 00:38:09,292
(Spectators) Go on! Go on!
601
00:38:25,583 --> 00:38:26,583
All right?
602
00:38:30,875 --> 00:38:35,375
Tony, it's Lloyd. Listen, I want everything
you can find on a Maurice flitcroft.
603
00:38:36,875 --> 00:38:40,625
F-I-i-t-c-r-o-f-t.
604
00:38:41,542 --> 00:38:42,583
Flitcroft.
605
00:38:45,667 --> 00:38:46,750
(Song stops)
606
00:38:46,875 --> 00:38:49,375
Half-time scores, please, gents.
Jim Howard?
607
00:38:49,500 --> 00:38:52,083
- Thirty-three. Round about.
- Thank you.
608
00:38:52,208 --> 00:38:54,583
- Laurent lambert?
- (John) Thirty-two.
609
00:38:54,708 --> 00:38:59,250
- (Maurice) Halfway there, gene.
- Thirty-two. And Maurice flitcroft?
610
00:38:59,375 --> 00:39:00,583
Sixty-three.
611
00:39:01,375 --> 00:39:04,833
- Sorry, say that again.
- Sixty-three.
612
00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:12,000
Good god.
613
00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:18,958
We, in Scotland,
invented the game of golf.
614
00:39:19,083 --> 00:39:21,667
The British open is the oldest tournament
in the world.
615
00:39:21,792 --> 00:39:25,542
The most respected and prestigious.
616
00:39:25,667 --> 00:39:28,625
And we must do all we can
to burnish that reputation.
617
00:39:28,750 --> 00:39:33,292
Say that to your dad the next time
he spouts any of that nonsense, ok?
618
00:39:33,417 --> 00:39:35,917
Thank you for your time. Now...
619
00:39:36,792 --> 00:39:39,500
Maurice flitcroft
has hit a sixty-three.
620
00:39:40,125 --> 00:39:41,375
Sixty-three?
621
00:39:41,958 --> 00:39:44,750
- How the hell did that happen?
- I've no idea.
622
00:39:44,875 --> 00:39:46,708
- Do the press know?
- Not yet.
623
00:39:47,417 --> 00:39:49,750
- Let's bloody keep it that way.
- Yeah.
624
00:39:51,417 --> 00:39:52,958
(Spectators) Oh.
625
00:39:57,792 --> 00:40:02,333
(Maurice) I must say,
that was a bit disappointing.
626
00:40:04,083 --> 00:40:05,667
Mr flitcroft!
627
00:40:05,792 --> 00:40:08,583
Keith MacKenzie, secretary of the
royal and ancient golf society.
628
00:40:08,708 --> 00:40:11,667
- May I have a word with you, please?
- Oh, course.
629
00:40:11,792 --> 00:40:12,917
Uh, here.
630
00:40:13,042 --> 00:40:14,875
It's an honour to meet you, sir.
631
00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:18,875
I'm very much enjoying the, uh,
you know, the championship.
632
00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:21,125
Good. Good. So are we. Thank you.
633
00:40:21,250 --> 00:40:24,750
However, my colleague and I
were just wondering if you, uh,
634
00:40:24,875 --> 00:40:27,417
might've had your fill of it,
so to speak.
635
00:40:27,542 --> 00:40:28,333
I'm sorry?
636
00:40:28,458 --> 00:40:31,625
We were just wondering
if you'd like to retire.
637
00:40:31,750 --> 00:40:33,458
I'm not... I'm not...
638
00:40:33,583 --> 00:40:37,750
I'm not sure I follow ya.
I'm sorry. I must get to the next tee.
639
00:40:37,875 --> 00:40:41,708
All right. Let me speak plainly.
We can all see you don't belong here,
640
00:40:41,833 --> 00:40:45,000
so why don't you just
quietly gather up your things
641
00:40:45,125 --> 00:40:47,375
and let's not cause a scene,
shall we?
642
00:40:48,542 --> 00:40:50,500
You know, there... there's one...
643
00:40:50,625 --> 00:40:54,292
One thing I can promise you,
uh, mr MacKenzie,
644
00:40:54,417 --> 00:40:59,292
and... and that is no, no,
I certainly will not be retiring.
645
00:41:00,083 --> 00:41:04,083
My swing's just about to,
you know, click in.
646
00:41:05,292 --> 00:41:08,333
Uh, so, if you'll excuse me,
I must get on.
647
00:41:08,917 --> 00:41:11,583
(J“ Billy Preston:
"Nothing from nothing" j“)
648
00:41:11,708 --> 00:41:15,167
I mustjust thank a mrs t holness
of liphook golf club
649
00:41:15,292 --> 00:41:19,292
for a most wonderful cake,
a Victoria sponge no less.
650
00:41:19,417 --> 00:41:22,750
Now, my producer's just handed me
a piece of paper.
651
00:41:22,875 --> 00:41:24,958
Either I need a new pair of glasses
652
00:41:25,083 --> 00:41:29,167
or there's something quite extraordinary
happening on the course.
653
00:41:29,292 --> 00:41:31,875
That's nothing.
Have you seen the new Audi 80?
654
00:41:32,000 --> 00:41:33,333
- Bloody hell.
- Bloody hell.
655
00:41:33,458 --> 00:41:35,458
- I mean she is a beauty.
- Gorgeous.
656
00:41:35,583 --> 00:41:39,625
'He's played the first nine holes
in a phenomenal 63 shots.'
657
00:41:39,750 --> 00:41:41,542
beautiful lines. Clear lines.
658
00:41:41,667 --> 00:41:44,667
I don't bloody believe it.
Boys, look who it is.
659
00:41:45,792 --> 00:41:46,792
Who is it?
660
00:41:46,917 --> 00:41:50,333
Some plonker who said
he was playing in the British open.
661
00:41:50,458 --> 00:41:52,458
- I thought he was having me on.
- Good lord.
662
00:41:52,583 --> 00:41:56,292
'His card reads:
Seven, nine, eight, ten.'
663
00:41:56,417 --> 00:41:59,875
'there's a 12 with a question Mark.
Not sure what that means.'
664
00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:01,375
'oh, there's a six.'
665
00:42:03,125 --> 00:42:06,125
'the authorities will be wondering
how this happened.'
666
00:42:07,542 --> 00:42:09,667
'it says here his name is
667
00:42:10,708 --> 00:42:12,833
Maurice g flit... '
668
00:42:13,958 --> 00:42:15,875
oi, what's got into you flitcroft?
669
00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:18,458
Sorry, I was just trying
to get a better signal.
670
00:42:18,583 --> 00:42:21,458
Ah! The snug, come on!
671
00:42:22,708 --> 00:42:24,667
(Song continues)
672
00:42:24,792 --> 00:42:28,208
'Clarke leads by one from Roberts
on this opening morning.'
673
00:42:28,333 --> 00:42:31,958
'now then, back to our intrepid hacker
on the 13th.'
674
00:42:36,458 --> 00:42:40,375
(chuckling) 'He's celebrating
like he just holed for a birdie.'
675
00:42:40,500 --> 00:42:42,208
'but that was for a ten.'
676
00:42:42,875 --> 00:42:45,917
'that makes for an astonishing plus 38.'
677
00:42:46,042 --> 00:42:47,875
'I've never seen that before.'
678
00:42:50,500 --> 00:42:52,375
'now, back to the man
of the moment.'
679
00:42:52,500 --> 00:42:57,208
'he's lost two balls on this hole,
which makes this one a nine and...'
680
00:42:58,542 --> 00:43:01,667
(chuckling) 'That's in!
And the crowd go wild.'
681
00:43:01,792 --> 00:43:02,583
(ringing)
682
00:43:02,708 --> 00:43:05,833
Tony, what've you got for me?
A crane driver?
683
00:43:07,542 --> 00:43:08,542
Where from?
684
00:43:10,000 --> 00:43:11,417
Have you got an address?
685
00:43:14,333 --> 00:43:16,167
J“ nothin' from nothin'
leaves nothin'... j“j“
686
00:43:16,292 --> 00:43:18,250
(laughing)
687
00:43:18,375 --> 00:43:20,792
- Stop, we got it.
- Stop moving, flitcroft.
688
00:43:21,542 --> 00:43:25,542
'Oh, dear. That's his fourth shot,
he's still not out of the bunker.'
689
00:43:25,667 --> 00:43:28,500
'at this rate,
he's gonna end up in Australia.'
690
00:43:28,625 --> 00:43:32,792
'now, either someone's slipped
some Spanish liquor into my tea
691
00:43:32,917 --> 00:43:35,542
or his caddie is wearing
basketball pumps.'
692
00:43:36,125 --> 00:43:39,833
- 'they are a pair of Bobby dazzlers.'
- How do I know him?
693
00:43:40,417 --> 00:43:44,458
'It says here he's representing
cumbria county golf club in barrow.'
694
00:43:44,583 --> 00:43:49,042
'well, if he's the best they can do,
I wouldn't like to see the rest of them.'
695
00:43:49,167 --> 00:43:54,125
'and he has a sponsor, believe it or not.
Vickers shipyard in barrow-in-furness.'
696
00:43:54,250 --> 00:43:57,583
'i wouldn't like to sail on their boats
if he's building them.'
697
00:43:57,708 --> 00:44:01,792
'the authorities aren't going to like it,
but I can tell you,
698
00:44:01,917 --> 00:44:06,458
the name of Maurice flitcroft
will go down in history.'
699
00:44:07,917 --> 00:44:09,583
(songs stops)
700
00:44:09,708 --> 00:44:13,083
- It's quite a common name.
- (Hopkins) Hm.
701
00:44:13,208 --> 00:44:15,250
(Slow instrumental music)
702
00:44:24,250 --> 00:44:25,917
What time is it? Huh?
703
00:44:27,500 --> 00:44:29,333
Putain. There.
704
00:44:30,583 --> 00:44:32,625
(Music building)
705
00:44:40,583 --> 00:44:42,708
Qu'est—ce que c'est tout ca?
706
00:44:44,833 --> 00:44:48,958
- Look at this crowd, dad!
- Yeah. Must be doing something right.
707
00:44:55,917 --> 00:44:58,000
Yeah, let... let's, uh...
708
00:44:58,125 --> 00:45:00,875
You know, give 'em
something to cheer about.
709
00:45:01,625 --> 00:45:03,042
Four iron.
710
00:45:06,500 --> 00:45:07,917
(Sighs)
711
00:45:11,083 --> 00:45:13,458
(Intriguing music building slowly)
712
00:45:29,375 --> 00:45:30,958
(Tense music)
713
00:45:45,625 --> 00:45:46,625
Where is it?
714
00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:53,708
Next to the flippin' pin, dad!
715
00:46:10,958 --> 00:46:12,458
(Cheering and applause)
716
00:46:19,417 --> 00:46:22,333
'Well, this fellow
is the story of the day.'
717
00:46:22,458 --> 00:46:24,375
'Maurice flitcroft,
718
00:46:24,500 --> 00:46:26,208
on the last for a birdie.'
719
00:46:27,500 --> 00:46:29,542
'it'll be a surprise
if this goes in.'
720
00:46:32,417 --> 00:46:34,667
'wait until you hear the roar
721
00:46:35,417 --> 00:46:36,792
if it does.'
722
00:46:38,500 --> 00:46:39,500
(silence)
723
00:46:54,167 --> 00:46:57,833
'Oh, and it misses
on the right-hand side.'
724
00:46:57,958 --> 00:46:59,708
'it was a good effort.'
725
00:47:07,292 --> 00:47:10,750
'This is for, uh, I think 119.'
726
00:47:16,125 --> 00:47:19,750
'Ooh, that was not
a positive stroke.'
727
00:47:19,875 --> 00:47:22,542
(j“ Walter Murphy:
"Could it be the music" j“)
728
00:47:28,167 --> 00:47:30,750
'It's getting
a little bit grizzly now.'
729
00:47:32,750 --> 00:47:34,333
'hopefully he'll put this in.'
730
00:47:35,458 --> 00:47:36,458
'and he does!'
731
00:47:37,333 --> 00:47:40,167
'that's 121 .'
732
00:47:40,292 --> 00:47:41,625
'remarkable.'
733
00:47:41,750 --> 00:47:43,500
j“ could it be the music, oh, yeah j“
734
00:47:43,625 --> 00:47:45,708
j“ it thrills me to my soul j“
735
00:47:45,833 --> 00:47:47,417
j“ could it be the music... j“j“
736
00:47:47,542 --> 00:47:49,250
'oh, double trouble.'
737
00:47:49,375 --> 00:47:51,250
j“ that makes me rock and roll j“
738
00:47:51,375 --> 00:47:53,417
j“ maybe it's the music
oh, yeah... j“j“
739
00:47:53,542 --> 00:47:58,292
'i believe that's called the caterpillar,
that move, eh?'
740
00:47:58,417 --> 00:48:00,083
'seen my grandson do that.'
741
00:48:01,583 --> 00:48:03,833
'not on a golf course,
I must admit.'
742
00:48:04,708 --> 00:48:09,208
'I'm afraid with a score like that
he won't be coming back tomorrow.'
743
00:48:09,333 --> 00:48:14,250
'but whether you like it or not,
the day belongs to Maurice flitcroft.'
744
00:48:23,250 --> 00:48:25,583
- Hello?
- Hello. Can I help you at all?
745
00:48:26,250 --> 00:48:29,500
Oh, sorry. I'm looking
for Maurice flitcroft's house.
746
00:48:29,625 --> 00:48:30,792
Oh, well, you found it.
747
00:48:30,917 --> 00:48:34,083
I'm... I'm Jean flitcroft.
Maurice is my husband.
748
00:48:34,208 --> 00:48:36,458
Maurice. Lloyd Donovan,
"the sun" newspaper.
749
00:48:36,583 --> 00:48:39,833
Wondered if you had any comments
on what your husband did at the open?
750
00:48:39,958 --> 00:48:41,417
Oh, how'd he do?
751
00:48:41,542 --> 00:48:45,917
He shot 121.
It's the highest score in major history.
752
00:48:46,042 --> 00:48:48,542
Oh, that's good. That mean he's won?
753
00:48:51,250 --> 00:48:52,833
A high score is bad.
754
00:48:53,542 --> 00:48:57,708
Is it? Oh, well. Never mind,
you've got to start somewhere, ain't you?
755
00:48:58,333 --> 00:49:01,542
Um, about to pop the kettle on,
do you want a cup of tea?
756
00:49:01,667 --> 00:49:03,792
- You want a biscuit?
- Thank you very much.
757
00:49:03,917 --> 00:49:05,875
(All) Maurice! Maurice!
758
00:49:07,750 --> 00:49:11,250
How does it feel to have shot
the worst round in the history of the open?
759
00:49:11,375 --> 00:49:15,333
I don't feel the score was a fair
reflection on the play, actually.
760
00:49:15,833 --> 00:49:18,583
What score would be
a fair reflection, Maurice?
761
00:49:18,708 --> 00:49:22,208
That's hard to tell,
it's the first round I've ever played.
762
00:49:23,167 --> 00:49:25,958
What do you put
your bad score down to?
763
00:49:26,083 --> 00:49:29,125
Well, I'd say the main problem
with my game today
764
00:49:29,250 --> 00:49:31,917
was that I left me 4-wood
in the car.
765
00:49:32,042 --> 00:49:33,833
I don't mean to make excuses,
766
00:49:33,958 --> 00:49:37,083
but I'm deadly accurate
with me 4-wood. Deadly.
767
00:49:38,583 --> 00:49:41,875
What made you enter the open?
Was it a joke?
768
00:49:42,708 --> 00:49:44,250
Well, I...
769
00:49:45,458 --> 00:49:46,625
No, no.
770
00:49:46,750 --> 00:49:48,333
No, it's no joke.
771
00:49:48,458 --> 00:49:50,375
Well, I... no.
772
00:49:51,000 --> 00:49:53,583
Are you gonna try again
next year, Maurice?
773
00:49:55,083 --> 00:49:58,375
Uh, yes. Yes, uh...
I'll be back next year.
774
00:49:58,500 --> 00:50:01,750
I just need to practise
a little bit more, and well...
775
00:50:01,875 --> 00:50:03,958
Practice is the road to perfection.
776
00:50:04,083 --> 00:50:06,500
So, if you'll excuse me, uh...
777
00:50:06,625 --> 00:50:09,000
Uh... I'll see you next year, chaps!
778
00:50:09,125 --> 00:50:11,667
- Thank you, Maurice.
- Righto, Maurice.
779
00:50:17,208 --> 00:50:19,792
- You showed 'em, didn't you?
- (Clattering)
780
00:50:19,917 --> 00:50:23,250
Quiet when you go in, lads.
Your mum must've gone to bed.
781
00:50:23,375 --> 00:50:24,542
Yeah, sorry.
782
00:50:25,417 --> 00:50:27,417
Oh, um, still...
783
00:50:27,542 --> 00:50:31,083
Look, at least you tried.
That's the main thing, in't it, dad?
784
00:50:31,208 --> 00:50:33,625
Oh, yeah, that's right.
I enjoyed it.
785
00:50:33,750 --> 00:50:35,500
- Yeah, good.
- Enjoyed it, I did.
786
00:50:35,625 --> 00:50:38,083
- All right. I'll just...
- You go in.
787
00:50:38,208 --> 00:50:40,458
- I'll just get me things.
- Ok.
788
00:50:57,042 --> 00:50:59,500
(Train passing by in distance)
789
00:51:05,125 --> 00:51:06,792
(Dog barking in distance)
790
00:51:26,542 --> 00:51:27,542
(Door creaking)
791
00:51:28,500 --> 00:51:30,750
- Surprise!
- Oh!
792
00:51:33,375 --> 00:51:36,417
Flippin' heck,
you nearly gave me a heart attack!
793
00:51:37,292 --> 00:51:39,542
- You didn't tell me!
- I didn't know.
794
00:51:39,667 --> 00:51:42,417
- You didn't know? Willie!
- All right, mol.
795
00:51:43,708 --> 00:51:44,708
Cliff.
796
00:51:44,833 --> 00:51:46,375
- Great, mol.
- Oh, look!
797
00:51:46,500 --> 00:51:48,292
- They did that.
- Champion!
798
00:51:48,417 --> 00:51:50,542
"Congratulations, Maurice.
Our champion".
799
00:51:50,667 --> 00:51:53,000
- Well...
- (Cliff) And you are.
800
00:51:53,125 --> 00:51:55,000
(Jean) You did so well.
801
00:51:57,333 --> 00:52:00,542
I, uh, I wasn't quite as good
as I thought I was.
802
00:52:00,667 --> 00:52:02,917
Hey, just your first time, love.
803
00:52:03,042 --> 00:52:05,958
- (Willie) You'll show 'em next time!
- Well...
804
00:52:06,083 --> 00:52:09,625
Oh, next time, yeah.
Did the lads tell you about the 18th?
805
00:52:09,750 --> 00:52:13,083
- I birdied it, nearly, right on the green.
- (Cliff) We saw it!
806
00:52:13,208 --> 00:52:15,667
- You saw it?
- On the telly, in the shipyard.
807
00:52:15,792 --> 00:52:16,792
- On the telly?
- Yeah.
808
00:52:27,875 --> 00:52:29,583
- — Quiche?
- (Cliff) Do you like it?
809
00:52:29,708 --> 00:52:31,333
I don't mind it, quiche.
810
00:52:32,333 --> 00:52:35,000
(Maurice) What are those?
(Cliff) Twirls.
811
00:52:35,125 --> 00:52:36,458
- Twirls?
- Twirls.
812
00:52:36,583 --> 00:52:37,708
(Cheering)
813
00:52:38,583 --> 00:52:39,583
Get off me!
814
00:52:40,458 --> 00:52:43,917
- (Jean) You all right, love?
- You coming for a snout?
815
00:52:44,042 --> 00:52:45,292
No, you're all right.
816
00:52:45,417 --> 00:52:49,167
(Maurice) Oh, did you see?
(Michael) Yeah, I did.
817
00:52:49,292 --> 00:52:52,333
Ah. Did you see the 18th,
where I nearly birdied it?
818
00:52:52,917 --> 00:52:55,167
- Ha!
- I must've missed that bit.
819
00:52:55,292 --> 00:52:57,958
Well, I know the standard
wasn't ideal, but...
820
00:52:58,083 --> 00:53:01,833
Not ideal?
Well, what were you thinking, dad?
821
00:53:02,875 --> 00:53:07,000
You've never played golf before.
I've never heard you mention golf.
822
00:53:07,125 --> 00:53:07,917
But I told you.
823
00:53:08,042 --> 00:53:12,708
You've got to take these things up
at age six, you can take 'em up at 46!
824
00:53:12,833 --> 00:53:13,625
Well, who says?
825
00:53:13,750 --> 00:53:16,042
Well, the world says. Ok?
826
00:53:16,167 --> 00:53:19,458
Reality says.
Well, look what happened.
827
00:53:20,208 --> 00:53:22,542
What?
Well, I were a bit nervous, but...
828
00:53:22,667 --> 00:53:24,917
(Michael)
Well, you had every right to be.
829
00:53:25,792 --> 00:53:30,500
- Everyone at the yard's gone hopping mad.
- (Jean) What's he done to them?
830
00:53:30,625 --> 00:53:32,708
This disparages the shipyard.
831
00:53:32,833 --> 00:53:36,208
- (Gene) What's "disparaged"?
- Have you swallowed a fucking dictionary?
832
00:53:36,333 --> 00:53:38,875
Ok, you two.
Can you get out, please?
833
00:53:41,542 --> 00:53:42,542
Nice.
834
00:53:44,333 --> 00:53:45,458
(Maurice) Well...
835
00:53:48,792 --> 00:53:50,917
I'm sorry I embarrassed you, son.
836
00:53:52,958 --> 00:53:55,042
It's not me I'm worried about, dad.
837
00:53:56,125 --> 00:53:57,125
It's you.
838
00:53:59,375 --> 00:54:02,292
The redundancies are gonna
be decided this week.
839
00:54:03,625 --> 00:54:05,458
Hopkins watched it as well.
840
00:54:06,292 --> 00:54:07,958
He weren't best pleased.
841
00:54:09,333 --> 00:54:10,625
Sorry, dad.
842
00:54:11,833 --> 00:54:13,625
(Slow song playing in the room)
843
00:54:19,042 --> 00:54:20,042
(Opens door)
844
00:54:20,708 --> 00:54:23,208
- (Gene) Bye, Mike.
- Thanks for stopping by.
845
00:54:23,333 --> 00:54:24,833
- You off?
- (Closes door)
846
00:54:31,875 --> 00:54:35,083
- So sorry. Drink?
- (Guest) Yeah, I'll have one.
847
00:54:35,208 --> 00:54:39,500
(Jean) Lovely, get another round in.
(Guest) Yeah, nice. Lovely.
848
00:54:39,625 --> 00:54:41,458
(Indistinct chatter)
849
00:54:45,583 --> 00:54:47,542
(Guests laughing and chatting)
850
00:54:50,542 --> 00:54:55,125
Love, if that's what he decides, it
gives you more time to practise, don't it?
851
00:54:57,417 --> 00:54:58,417
Hey?
852
00:54:59,833 --> 00:55:00,833
(Door opens)
853
00:55:00,875 --> 00:55:02,250
- Oh, love.
- Hiya.
854
00:55:02,375 --> 00:55:04,333
There's someone
I want you to meet.
855
00:55:04,458 --> 00:55:08,500
Hi, Maurice. I'm Lloyd Donovan.
"Sun" newspaper.
856
00:55:09,125 --> 00:55:12,458
Listen, uh, can I, uh,
get an exclusive?
857
00:55:13,042 --> 00:55:14,542
- Exclusive?
- Yeah.
858
00:55:15,208 --> 00:55:18,292
Aye. For a fee, you know.
859
00:55:18,417 --> 00:55:21,000
Oh, of course, yeah.
Name your price.
860
00:55:21,125 --> 00:55:23,250
(J“ abba: "Money, money, money" j“)
861
00:55:26,708 --> 00:55:31,042
J“ I work all night, I work all day
to pay the bills I have to pay j“
862
00:55:32,042 --> 00:55:33,625
j“ ain't it sad? J“
863
00:55:34,542 --> 00:55:39,250
j“ and still there never seems to be
a single penny left for me j“
864
00:55:39,833 --> 00:55:41,583
j“ that's too bad j“
865
00:55:42,833 --> 00:55:44,417
j“ in my dreams j“
866
00:55:44,542 --> 00:55:46,750
j“ I have a plan j“
867
00:55:46,875 --> 00:55:50,292
j“ if I got me a wealthy man j“
868
00:55:50,417 --> 00:55:54,750
j“ I wouldn't have to work at all
I'd fool around and have a ball... j“j“
869
00:55:54,875 --> 00:55:59,125
I want him barred! I want him barred
from every club in the country!
870
00:56:01,292 --> 00:56:03,667
J“ money, money, money j“
871
00:56:03,792 --> 00:56:05,125
j“ must be funny j“
872
00:56:05,833 --> 00:56:08,083
j“ in a rich man's world j“
873
00:56:09,333 --> 00:56:11,000
j“ money, money, money... j“j“
874
00:56:12,750 --> 00:56:13,958
Bruce.
875
00:56:15,542 --> 00:56:19,417
Maurice. I'd like to join, please.
I got the money.
876
00:56:20,625 --> 00:56:23,000
And... I got the shoes.
877
00:56:25,500 --> 00:56:28,750
I appreciate the effort you've made,
mr flitcroft,
878
00:56:28,875 --> 00:56:31,458
but I'm sorry, I can't accept this.
879
00:56:31,583 --> 00:56:35,250
- Why not?
- We have orders from mr MacKenzie.
880
00:56:35,833 --> 00:56:38,208
Mr MacKenzie?
Can I see that, please?
881
00:56:39,375 --> 00:56:42,500
(Bruce) Golf club membership
is for amateurs only.
882
00:56:42,625 --> 00:56:46,250
As I entered the open as a professional,
I can't join a club?
883
00:56:46,375 --> 00:56:49,708
- Correct.
- He accepts that I'm professional.
884
00:56:49,833 --> 00:56:52,625
Professionals can play
on any course in the country.
885
00:56:52,750 --> 00:56:54,042
Yes.
886
00:56:55,292 --> 00:56:56,625
Great!
887
00:56:56,750 --> 00:56:59,875
Simply show them your
professional golf association certificate
888
00:57:00,000 --> 00:57:02,083
and away you go.
889
00:57:03,917 --> 00:57:05,750
But I don't have one, Bruce.
890
00:57:06,667 --> 00:57:10,750
There's no chance of me even getting one
unless I belong to a club.
891
00:57:12,042 --> 00:57:13,125
Like I say...
892
00:57:14,125 --> 00:57:15,167
I'm sorry.
893
00:57:18,750 --> 00:57:22,625
I consider this action a gross betrayal
of me rights as a human being.
894
00:57:22,750 --> 00:57:24,167
Me human rights.
895
00:57:24,292 --> 00:57:28,417
Is the British open, not by definition,
open to everyone?
896
00:57:29,500 --> 00:57:30,708
Furthermore...
897
00:57:33,125 --> 00:57:36,500
The British open
is indeed open to all golfers,
898
00:57:36,625 --> 00:57:41,667
providing they have achieved a standard
fit for competing at a professional level.
899
00:57:42,375 --> 00:57:46,083
My mother plays golf. Would I
want her eligible for the British open?
900
00:57:46,208 --> 00:57:48,125
No. I certainly would not.
901
00:57:48,250 --> 00:57:52,542
Of course, I wouldn't want your mother
to be eligible for the men's British open,
902
00:57:52,667 --> 00:57:55,708
but I would hope that you would
consider her eligible
903
00:57:55,833 --> 00:57:57,750
for the women's British open.
904
00:57:57,875 --> 00:58:00,500
- Don't you think?
- Good point.
905
00:58:00,625 --> 00:58:05,458
Ought I to add sexism
to your list of crimes, mr MacKenzie?
906
00:58:06,875 --> 00:58:08,708
(Jean) I like that a lot.
907
00:58:08,833 --> 00:58:12,458
I now consider the tone of your letters
to be unbecoming to my office
908
00:58:12,583 --> 00:58:15,417
and will, therefore,
cease replying to them
909
00:58:15,542 --> 00:58:17,833
as of this correspondence.
910
00:58:37,833 --> 00:58:42,250
"Mr MacKenzie feels he has said
all he has to say on this matter."
911
00:58:42,375 --> 00:58:44,458
"Apart from to remind you
912
00:58:44,583 --> 00:58:48,375
that any unlawful entering of a golf club
is trespassing."
913
00:58:48,500 --> 00:58:49,500
Flippin' heck.
914
00:58:50,292 --> 00:58:52,667
- You all right?
- Yeah. Don't worry.
915
00:58:52,792 --> 00:58:55,375
"He trusts this brings
this matter to a close."
916
00:58:55,500 --> 00:58:57,375
Oh, you'll show 'em yet, love.
917
00:58:59,083 --> 00:59:01,500
Just need to make them listen,
that's all.
918
00:59:15,250 --> 00:59:17,833
(Cheerful jingle)
919
00:59:18,625 --> 00:59:21,125
'We've come outside
to the studio car park
920
00:59:21,250 --> 00:59:24,000
to meet the man
who shot a world record
921
00:59:24,125 --> 00:59:27,083
of 121 at the British open.'
922
00:59:27,208 --> 00:59:30,083
'he is the world's
worst professional golfer.'
923
00:59:30,208 --> 00:59:32,125
'sorry. I don't agree with that.'
924
00:59:32,250 --> 00:59:35,667
'I'm not the worst golfer
and I'm willing to prove it.'
925
00:59:35,792 --> 00:59:37,500
'(chuckles) Ok, great.'
926
00:59:37,625 --> 00:59:40,417
'we have set up
a little golf course here.'
927
00:59:40,542 --> 00:59:43,292
'it's not a golf course,
it's a putting green.'
928
00:59:43,875 --> 00:59:46,292
'great. It's exciting, isn't it?'
929
00:59:49,708 --> 00:59:52,000
'oh, now, that was close.'
930
00:59:52,125 --> 00:59:55,000
'that was a practice shot,
get the pace of the green.'
931
00:59:55,125 --> 00:59:57,792
'yes, well,
it has been raining out here,
932
00:59:57,917 --> 01:00:00,208
so it could be a bit damp,
couldn't it?'
933
01:00:01,208 --> 01:00:02,250
'oh!'
934
01:00:02,375 --> 01:00:06,625
'now, you feel that you should be
let back into the open, is that right?'
935
01:00:06,750 --> 01:00:10,792
'yes, an open championship,
you know, should be open to everyone.'
936
01:00:10,917 --> 01:00:15,375
'uh, like the fa cup, you know, give the...
Give the little teams a chance.'
937
01:00:16,125 --> 01:00:17,917
(Rory) 'Oh! Now, bad luck.'
938
01:00:18,042 --> 01:00:20,625
'uh, I think this ground is...
Is sloping.'
939
01:00:21,208 --> 01:00:25,833
'well, uh, everybody does say that
this car park is a bit lopsided, so...'
940
01:00:25,958 --> 01:00:27,018
(chuckling in the background)
941
01:00:27,042 --> 01:00:29,333
'I'd best hand back to the studio.'
942
01:00:29,458 --> 01:00:32,583
'thank you to the fantastic
Maurice flitcroft.'
943
01:00:32,708 --> 01:00:34,458
'the world's worst golfer.'
944
01:00:34,583 --> 01:00:37,042
'no, I'm not
the world's worst golfer.'
945
01:00:37,667 --> 01:00:39,792
'i don't agree with that.'
946
01:00:43,667 --> 01:00:46,042
(chuckling) Good shot, Maurice.
947
01:00:47,500 --> 01:00:51,083
(Cliff) Hey, it's really coming, innit?
(Maurice) It's coming.
948
01:00:51,917 --> 01:00:54,417
Practice is the road to perfection,
you know?
949
01:00:58,500 --> 01:00:59,500
Oh!
950
01:01:02,500 --> 01:01:03,583
(Door opens)
951
01:01:05,750 --> 01:01:06,958
In here, love.
952
01:01:07,083 --> 01:01:08,167
(Door closes)
953
01:01:10,333 --> 01:01:12,708
- Have I missed 'em?
- No, nothing yet.
954
01:01:13,167 --> 01:01:14,292
How was practice?
955
01:01:14,417 --> 01:01:17,292
Was great.
Getting better all the time.
956
01:01:17,417 --> 01:01:18,542
(Ringing)
957
01:01:20,083 --> 01:01:21,667
- Boys?
- We did it!
958
01:01:21,792 --> 01:01:24,792
We bloody did it!
National champions!
959
01:01:24,917 --> 01:01:27,583
We're gonna make history.
The world final's next!
960
01:01:27,708 --> 01:01:28,917
Oh, well done, lads.
961
01:01:29,042 --> 01:01:31,917
Oh. Well done.
Where are the finals, love?
962
01:01:32,042 --> 01:01:33,417
Fucking France!
963
01:01:33,542 --> 01:01:34,833
You go have fun.
964
01:01:35,542 --> 01:01:37,250
- I love you.
- (Hangs up)
965
01:01:38,542 --> 01:01:41,292
They're gone. There.
Shall we celebrate too?
966
01:01:41,417 --> 01:01:44,750
- Got some babycham in the fridge.
- We should celebrate.
967
01:01:44,875 --> 01:01:47,875
- I'll have a cup of tea, please, love.
- All right, love.
968
01:01:48,000 --> 01:01:52,333
Have to do some more practice later
to work on me putting.
969
01:01:58,917 --> 01:01:59,917
Love...
970
01:02:02,375 --> 01:02:04,208
Don't be so hard on yourself.
971
01:02:06,000 --> 01:02:08,208
There was a slope in that car park.
972
01:02:08,667 --> 01:02:11,250
I could see it from here
on the television.
973
01:02:15,167 --> 01:02:17,000
I don't know what happened.
974
01:02:17,542 --> 01:02:19,542
I got a bit nervous, maybe.
975
01:02:20,750 --> 01:02:24,500
- Love?
- Got a bit of me... of me migraine.
976
01:02:25,833 --> 01:02:27,708
- I don't know.
- (Tuts) Oh.
977
01:02:28,833 --> 01:02:29,833
Hey.
978
01:02:32,667 --> 01:02:36,000
How do you think
that mr Jack Nicholson
979
01:02:36,125 --> 01:02:39,000
would've done
taking up the golf at fifty?
980
01:02:39,125 --> 01:02:40,125
Jack nicklaus?
981
01:02:40,167 --> 01:02:42,500
Yeah. No coaching.
982
01:02:42,625 --> 01:02:45,250
- Not one lesson. Eh?
- Hm.
983
01:02:45,375 --> 01:02:50,583
And having to practise on a beach with
a bloody retriever yapping at his ankles.
984
01:02:50,708 --> 01:02:54,000
- You think he'd have done any better?
- It's a good point.
985
01:02:54,125 --> 01:02:56,875
But they still won't let me...
986
01:02:57,500 --> 01:02:59,458
Let me join, will they? So...
987
01:03:00,458 --> 01:03:03,458
- There's no point in talking about it.
- All right.
988
01:03:03,583 --> 01:03:05,250
(Maurice) There's no point.
989
01:03:07,500 --> 01:03:08,500
All right.
990
01:03:19,125 --> 01:03:20,125
Well...
991
01:03:23,042 --> 01:03:25,500
They might not let you in,
but, uh...
992
01:03:26,500 --> 01:03:29,375
What about if you were to enter
as someone else?
993
01:03:30,167 --> 01:03:32,292
- Someone else?
- Yeah.
994
01:03:32,917 --> 01:03:35,042
Dashing frenchman perhaps?
995
01:03:36,625 --> 01:03:37,625
Bonjour.
996
01:03:44,625 --> 01:03:47,208
Jean, you're a genius.
997
01:03:52,125 --> 01:03:53,333
Tres chic.
998
01:03:54,375 --> 01:03:55,750
Bonjour.
999
01:03:56,792 --> 01:04:01,208
(Announcer) 'Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome on the tee, from Paris, France,
1000
01:04:01,333 --> 01:04:02,333
Gerard hoppy.'
1001
01:04:05,667 --> 01:04:09,083
(j“ Walter Murphy:
"A fifth of Beethoven" j“)
1002
01:04:09,208 --> 01:04:11,375
Ok, you've got this.
1003
01:04:11,500 --> 01:04:13,583
Your practice has been sensational.
1004
01:04:13,708 --> 01:04:17,708
No one'll guess it's you,
so just relax and bring it home, Maurice.
1005
01:04:17,833 --> 01:04:21,083
- Again, don't call me Maurice.
- Ah, shit, sorry, mol.
1006
01:04:21,208 --> 01:04:23,917
Or mol, I'm Gerard, Gerard hoppy.
1007
01:04:24,042 --> 01:04:25,042
Gotcha.
1008
01:04:25,167 --> 01:04:26,458
(Music continues)
1009
01:04:38,375 --> 01:04:42,375
'That's a nice opening drive
from the frenchman, Gerard hoppy.'
1010
01:04:42,500 --> 01:04:45,625
- 'unusual swing, but, uh, effective.'
- Yes!
1011
01:04:45,750 --> 01:04:46,958
Good shot, Maurice.
1012
01:04:47,708 --> 01:04:50,375
- Gerard.
- Gerard. Shit, sorry.
1013
01:04:50,500 --> 01:04:52,875
- Shot, Gerard!
- Merci beaucoup.
1014
01:05:00,750 --> 01:05:01,792
(Music continues)
1015
01:05:04,375 --> 01:05:05,375
Yeah.
1016
01:05:07,375 --> 01:05:10,833
And that's a steady start
for the frenchman, Gerard hoppy.
1017
01:05:10,958 --> 01:05:13,083
He's parred the first two holes.
1018
01:05:13,208 --> 01:05:16,000
I must confess
I don't know much about this fellow,
1019
01:05:16,125 --> 01:05:19,000
but he's a natty dresser,
I'll give him that.
1020
01:05:24,167 --> 01:05:26,125
'This for a bogey
for the frenchman.'
1021
01:05:26,917 --> 01:05:30,167
'and it's in! My goodness,
he rattled that one in.'
1022
01:05:34,958 --> 01:05:37,875
who is this Gerard hoppy?
1023
01:05:38,000 --> 01:05:40,833
- I can't find him in the notes.
- I've never heard of him either.
1024
01:05:40,958 --> 01:05:42,667
Merci, merci.
1025
01:05:42,792 --> 01:05:45,125
- (Keith) Keep an eye on him.
- On y va.
1026
01:05:46,750 --> 01:05:48,042
Vive la France.
1027
01:05:48,167 --> 01:05:49,167
(Music stops)
1028
01:05:50,125 --> 01:05:55,042
'And now, as the breeze gets up,
we join Gerard hoppy on the tenth tee.'
1029
01:05:55,542 --> 01:05:57,000
'still going well.'
1030
01:05:57,125 --> 01:05:58,792
'still going well
1031
01:05:59,333 --> 01:06:02,292
in his first qualifier.'
1032
01:06:06,875 --> 01:06:08,125
'oh! And that's...'
1033
01:06:08,250 --> 01:06:11,583
'he's tweaked that left
and it's in the bunker.'
1034
01:06:13,083 --> 01:06:15,625
right, it's just a bunker.
1035
01:06:15,750 --> 01:06:19,167
Remember your practice!
You've done this loads of times, mol!
1036
01:06:20,458 --> 01:06:21,583
What?
1037
01:06:21,708 --> 01:06:23,542
Oh, shit! Sorry, mol!
1038
01:06:23,667 --> 01:06:24,667
I mean Gerard!
1039
01:06:24,792 --> 01:06:26,625
Gerard! Shit!
1040
01:06:49,000 --> 01:06:50,625
(Heavy breathing)
1041
01:06:54,875 --> 01:06:56,542
(Crowd, disappointed groans)
1042
01:07:09,208 --> 01:07:10,875
(Cliff) What's up, Maurice?
1043
01:07:11,708 --> 01:07:12,708
Cliff...
1044
01:07:13,083 --> 01:07:16,750
(In French)
1045
01:07:19,750 --> 01:07:22,167
(In English)
Please, stop calling me Maurice.
1046
01:07:22,292 --> 01:07:25,458
- Shit, sorry, mate.
- It's MacKenzie, he's spotted us.
1047
01:07:25,583 --> 01:07:28,042
- Where?
- He's up there. No, behind us.
1048
01:07:28,167 --> 01:07:30,417
Behind. Don't look back.
Don't look back.
1049
01:07:30,917 --> 01:07:32,375
Mr flitcroft.
1050
01:07:32,500 --> 01:07:34,875
Uh, pardon, monsieur.
1051
01:07:35,000 --> 01:07:38,292
Je m'appel/e Gerard hoppy.
1052
01:07:38,417 --> 01:07:40,708
Uh, merci beaucoup.
1053
01:07:40,833 --> 01:07:43,125
- I know it's you.
- Stay back, pal!
1054
01:07:43,250 --> 01:07:46,167
- This doesn't concern you.
- Come with us, please.
1055
01:07:46,292 --> 01:07:48,417
Pardon. Je ne comprends pas.
1056
01:07:48,542 --> 01:07:50,375
Je m'appel/e Gerard hoppy.
1057
01:07:50,500 --> 01:07:53,375
J'habite... Paris, France.
Just going to the tee.
1058
01:07:53,500 --> 01:07:56,458
Mr flitcroft,
you look ridiculous in that wig!
1059
01:07:56,583 --> 01:08:00,167
It's not a crime to wear a wig, is it?
He's got one, look!
1060
01:08:02,375 --> 01:08:04,208
- (Cliff) Come on.
- That's it!
1061
01:08:04,333 --> 01:08:05,208
(Cliff) Here we go.
1062
01:08:05,333 --> 01:08:07,042
This is Keith MacKenzie.
1063
01:08:07,167 --> 01:08:10,667
I need police assistance on the
tenth fairway. Two trespassers.
1064
01:08:10,792 --> 01:08:13,583
Police? You didn't tell me
this was illegal, Maurice!
1065
01:08:13,708 --> 01:08:16,958
- The game's up, Maurice.
- Oh, cliff, you berk.
1066
01:08:17,417 --> 01:08:19,833
Right. Come on! Out of the way!
1067
01:08:20,542 --> 01:08:22,250
Maurice! Come on!
1068
01:08:23,208 --> 01:08:26,000
- What are you doing?
- Come with me! Come on!
1069
01:08:26,125 --> 01:08:29,583
I've got two trespassers coming your way!
Arrest them both!
1070
01:08:29,708 --> 01:08:32,208
Repeat! I repeat! Arrest them both!
1071
01:08:32,333 --> 01:08:36,292
- Two trespassers, one with a red shirt.
- What you doing, cliff?
1072
01:08:36,750 --> 01:08:38,083
Get in! Hop in!
1073
01:08:39,083 --> 01:08:40,292
Hop in!
1074
01:08:40,750 --> 01:08:44,500
(Tony) 'I'm hearing there's been
an altercation with an official.'
1075
01:08:44,625 --> 01:08:49,583
'and Gerard hoppy, the frenchman,
I believe, has commandeered a vehicle.'
1076
01:08:51,792 --> 01:08:53,083
j“ it is the night... j“j“
1077
01:08:53,208 --> 01:08:57,083
'don't adjust the television,
this isn't the "keystone cops".'
1078
01:08:57,208 --> 01:08:59,125
'this is actually happening.'
1079
01:08:59,667 --> 01:09:01,167
oh, no.
1080
01:09:01,292 --> 01:09:02,309
J“ ride like the wind... j“j“
1081
01:09:02,333 --> 01:09:05,417
what are we doing, cliff?
We're just making it worse.
1082
01:09:06,208 --> 01:09:08,625
I don't know, mol,
but you'll be all right.
1083
01:09:08,750 --> 01:09:11,083
I stole the clothes.
They can't get you for that.
1084
01:09:11,208 --> 01:09:12,917
You what? No, you...
1085
01:09:13,042 --> 01:09:15,875
You got 'em from your mate,
down the market.
1086
01:09:16,000 --> 01:09:19,167
There is no mate down the market.
I nicked them.
1087
01:09:19,958 --> 01:09:22,750
Whoa! Wait, wait! Oh! Oh!
1088
01:09:22,875 --> 01:09:25,042
J“ I was born the son of a lawless j“j“
1089
01:09:25,167 --> 01:09:26,792
(song stops abruptly)
1090
01:09:27,583 --> 01:09:30,000
- Shit.
- Flippin' heck.
1091
01:09:30,125 --> 01:09:31,958
(Cliff) Jesus.
(Maurice) Get out.
1092
01:09:32,083 --> 01:09:33,667
I can't get caught, mol.
1093
01:09:35,250 --> 01:09:38,625
Just"
it's just a few clothes, cliff.
1094
01:09:38,750 --> 01:09:40,500
No, you don't understand.
1095
01:09:40,625 --> 01:09:45,208
I done some really bad things.
I can't go back inside, not now.
1096
01:09:45,333 --> 01:09:49,458
They'll throw away the key.
Jesus Christ, what am I gonna do, mol?
1097
01:09:51,167 --> 01:09:52,375
Run.
1098
01:09:52,500 --> 01:09:54,625
Just go before I change me mind.
1099
01:09:55,125 --> 01:09:57,625
I never killed anyone, though.
I swear.
1100
01:09:57,750 --> 01:10:00,042
Don't believe
everything they say, mol.
1101
01:10:00,167 --> 01:10:02,167
Gerard! I mean Gerard! Sorry!
1102
01:10:03,125 --> 01:10:05,667
- Tossers!
- Mr flitcroft, stop!
1103
01:10:07,292 --> 01:10:10,625
J“ accused and tired
and told to hang j“
1104
01:10:10,750 --> 01:10:14,458
j“ I was nowhere in sight
when the church bells rang j“
1105
01:10:14,583 --> 01:10:17,958
j“ never was the kind
to do as I was told j“j“
1106
01:10:18,083 --> 01:10:19,542
(song stops abruptly)
1107
01:10:23,167 --> 01:10:26,667
(Tony) 'Now, I am hearing news
that mr Gerard hoppy
1108
01:10:26,792 --> 01:10:29,708
is not in fact Gerard hoppy.'
1109
01:10:29,833 --> 01:10:32,500
'I'm hearing it's Maurice flitcroft.'
1110
01:10:32,625 --> 01:10:34,917
'the so-ca/ied phantom of the open.'
1111
01:10:36,667 --> 01:10:37,875
(knocking on door)
1112
01:10:39,917 --> 01:10:43,042
- You wanted to see me, mr Hopkins?
- Now, Mike.
1113
01:10:43,167 --> 01:10:44,708
I want to show you something.
1114
01:10:44,833 --> 01:10:48,542
'This time Maurice flitcroft,
a crane driver from barrow,
1115
01:10:48,667 --> 01:10:49,833
was arrested by police
1116
01:10:49,958 --> 01:10:52,708
and is being held
at southport police station.'
1117
01:10:52,833 --> 01:10:55,875
'the ball has been set
at a thousand pounds.'
1118
01:10:56,667 --> 01:10:58,250
'in other news... '
1119
01:10:59,500 --> 01:11:02,917
we're in the middle
of trying to secure the trident deal.
1120
01:11:03,667 --> 01:11:06,958
And we got your dad
taking the piss out of me.
1121
01:11:07,083 --> 01:11:10,458
- I wouldn't take it personally, sir.
- Gerard hoppy?
1122
01:11:11,792 --> 01:11:13,625
I can see what you mean, but...
1123
01:11:13,750 --> 01:11:16,500
We provide you
with a nice life here, Mike.
1124
01:11:17,750 --> 01:11:21,792
Nice clothes, nice house, nice car.
1125
01:11:23,000 --> 01:11:25,750
Not bad for a little bastard
from bankside, eh?
1126
01:11:27,417 --> 01:11:29,708
You gotta decide, Mike.
1127
01:11:30,583 --> 01:11:35,042
You're either his sort or you're our sort.
You can't be both.
1128
01:11:37,000 --> 01:11:38,625
(Slow melancholic music)
1129
01:11:43,958 --> 01:11:46,083
(Indistinct chatter on car radio)
1130
01:11:53,875 --> 01:11:54,875
(Radio stops)
1131
01:11:58,583 --> 01:12:00,167
Mike! Mike!
1132
01:12:00,292 --> 01:12:02,792
- No need to shout, Maurice.
- No, I'm not.
1133
01:12:02,917 --> 01:12:04,292
Eh, thanks, son.
1134
01:12:04,417 --> 01:12:07,042
- I'll pay you back.
- Don't worry about it.
1135
01:12:07,167 --> 01:12:08,583
(Seagulls trilling)
1136
01:12:10,000 --> 01:12:11,083
Road sweeper.
1137
01:12:12,042 --> 01:12:13,333
Is that it?
1138
01:12:13,458 --> 01:12:17,917
Your options are limited.
Partly because of the, uh, incident.
1139
01:12:19,125 --> 01:12:20,833
I'm sorry.
1140
01:12:25,083 --> 01:12:27,875
Those are unusual.
You grow 'em yourself?
1141
01:12:28,458 --> 01:12:32,042
No, I picked 'em on the way in.
I shouldn't, really, but...
1142
01:12:32,167 --> 01:12:34,167
No, you should.
1143
01:12:34,292 --> 01:12:38,708
Pick all the flowers you can
while you're still young.
1144
01:12:40,000 --> 01:12:41,458
(Slow melancholic music)
1145
01:13:09,000 --> 01:13:12,292
Oi, Maurice!
Get back on that course!
1146
01:13:12,417 --> 01:13:14,583
Don't let the bastards get you down!
1147
01:13:22,500 --> 01:13:23,667
(Music continues)
1148
01:13:24,583 --> 01:13:26,917
(News) 'Middlesex beat
champions Yorkshire.'
1149
01:13:27,042 --> 01:13:30,667
'there were wins for somerset, surrey,
lancashire and warwickshire,
1150
01:13:30,792 --> 01:13:34,500
who meet at the Benson and hedges final,
on Saturday.'
1151
01:13:34,625 --> 01:13:35,708
'and finally,
1152
01:13:35,833 --> 01:13:39,875
Joe thornbush has entered for this week's
British open golf championship.'
1153
01:13:40,000 --> 01:13:44,083
'but the organisers believe mr thornbush
may really be Maurice flitcroft,
1154
01:13:44,208 --> 01:13:48,875
the crane driver from barrow
who scored 121 in a qualifying round.'
1155
01:13:49,000 --> 01:13:52,500
'championship secretary have kept
a sample of mr flitcroft's handwriting
1156
01:13:52,625 --> 01:13:54,750
just in case he applied again.'
1157
01:13:54,875 --> 01:13:56,542
'that's the news this evening.'
1158
01:13:56,667 --> 01:13:58,958
hiya. Oh, smells nice.
1159
01:14:00,333 --> 01:14:02,792
Got another postcard
from the boys, look.
1160
01:14:07,917 --> 01:14:09,458
Look at that.
1161
01:14:09,583 --> 01:14:11,625
- Moch-bar.
- Moscow.
1162
01:14:11,750 --> 01:14:12,750
Moscow.
1163
01:14:13,667 --> 01:14:14,750
Look at that.
1164
01:14:18,042 --> 01:14:21,250
"Dancing round the globe,
drinking a lot of vodka".
1165
01:14:23,833 --> 01:14:24,833
Lovely.
1166
01:14:27,458 --> 01:14:28,500
Moscow!
1167
01:14:29,208 --> 01:14:31,750
Postmark was
from two months ago, mind.
1168
01:14:31,875 --> 01:14:33,542
- Two months ago?
- Mm-hm.
1169
01:14:34,625 --> 01:14:38,125
- What they been doing since then, I wonder?
- Don't know.
1170
01:14:40,000 --> 01:14:41,000
Great!
1171
01:14:43,000 --> 01:14:44,042
That's it then.
1172
01:14:48,083 --> 01:14:50,667
We really do enjoy our work here.
1173
01:14:50,792 --> 01:14:53,518
- We'll be building the brand for 15-20 years.
- (Gene, whistling) Michael! Oi!
1174
01:14:53,542 --> 01:14:54,542
Oi!
1175
01:14:55,417 --> 01:14:57,542
- Hey, up! Mr moustache!
- Who are they?
1176
01:14:57,667 --> 01:15:00,708
- They're just...
- Don't worry, we don't know them.
1177
01:15:00,833 --> 01:15:03,833
- If you could keep coming with us.
- Michael!
1178
01:15:03,958 --> 01:15:06,625
- Mike! Michael?
- Excuse us. Excuse us.
1179
01:15:07,833 --> 01:15:10,458
- Who are these people?
- They're my brothers.
1180
01:15:10,583 --> 01:15:13,375
- You're joking? Get rid of them.
- Yeah, I will.
1181
01:15:13,500 --> 01:15:16,333
- Make it back for the dinner.
- I'll get rid of 'em.
1182
01:15:16,458 --> 01:15:18,833
- Sorry, one second.
- (Hopkins chuckles)
1183
01:15:18,958 --> 01:15:23,083
Mike works at a homeless charity part time,
just a couple of escapees.
1184
01:15:23,208 --> 01:15:25,083
- I see.
- He'll be back in a minute.
1185
01:15:25,208 --> 01:15:27,792
- What you playing at?
- What are you doing here?
1186
01:15:29,167 --> 01:15:30,917
We went to the house
but there was nobody.
1187
01:15:31,042 --> 01:15:33,292
- Yeah, they had to move out.
- Move out?
1188
01:15:33,417 --> 01:15:35,143
- It's not been great.
- Can we crash with you?
1189
01:15:35,167 --> 01:15:37,167
- No.
- Where we supposed to stay?
1190
01:15:37,292 --> 01:15:40,333
- Come on, I'll show ya.
- We've nowhere to go.
1191
01:15:44,958 --> 01:15:46,750
(Indistinct chatter on radio)
1192
01:15:48,792 --> 01:15:49,917
(Knocking on door)
1193
01:15:55,917 --> 01:15:59,917
- It's the boys, Jean! Come in, lads!
- These are yours, I believe.
1194
01:16:00,042 --> 01:16:03,625
(Maurice) Blimey,
the whole family back together.
1195
01:16:03,750 --> 01:16:05,167
I'll put the heater on.
1196
01:16:07,042 --> 01:16:10,333
- (Jean) You wanna sit down? You all right?
- It's fine.
1197
01:16:10,458 --> 01:16:13,667
Well, what happened?
We thought you were on tour, loves.
1198
01:16:13,792 --> 01:16:15,750
- It got cancelled.
- (Maurice) Cancelled?
1199
01:16:15,875 --> 01:16:18,250
- (Gene) Crowds got less and less.
- No one turned up?
1200
01:16:18,375 --> 01:16:22,625
Yeah, it was like one minute
disco were alive, the next it were dead.
1201
01:16:22,750 --> 01:16:27,750
Well, that's just, you know,
circle of life sometimes, boys.
1202
01:16:32,917 --> 01:16:34,792
Is that all you've got to say?
1203
01:16:35,667 --> 01:16:38,375
(Jean) What do you expect us to say,
Michael?
1204
01:16:38,500 --> 01:16:40,083
Well, how about sorry?
1205
01:16:41,708 --> 01:16:43,167
For what?
1206
01:16:43,292 --> 01:16:45,625
You should have made them
get properjobs!
1207
01:16:45,750 --> 01:16:48,708
Well... they're living the dream.
1208
01:16:49,500 --> 01:16:53,375
- There's nowt wrong with that.
- It depends what the dream is.
1209
01:16:53,500 --> 01:16:55,042
They're world champions!
1210
01:16:55,167 --> 01:17:00,167
At what? Disco dancing? They may as well
be world champions at tiddlywinks.
1211
01:17:00,292 --> 01:17:03,375
Look at the state of 'em.
The fantastic flitcrofts?
1212
01:17:03,958 --> 01:17:05,833
The fantastic fuck-ups more like.
1213
01:17:05,958 --> 01:17:10,625
(Maurice) They aimed for the stars.
(Michael) And now they're in the gutter.
1214
01:17:11,708 --> 01:17:16,583
Mike's right. If we'd had a different dad,
we'd have done better 'n all.
1215
01:17:16,708 --> 01:17:19,875
Reckon our dancing's about
as useful as your golf, dad.
1216
01:17:20,375 --> 01:17:21,792
(Jean, softly) Boys.
1217
01:17:21,917 --> 01:17:23,917
(Kettle starting to boil)
1218
01:17:36,500 --> 01:17:37,500
(Kettle stops)
1219
01:17:40,833 --> 01:17:44,750
(Jean) Maurice, what are you doing?
You all right? Love?
1220
01:17:48,792 --> 01:17:50,208
Love, where you going?
1221
01:17:51,792 --> 01:17:53,542
Just going out for a moment.
1222
01:17:56,625 --> 01:17:57,833
I'm all right.
1223
01:17:57,958 --> 01:17:58,958
(Opens door)
1224
01:18:03,083 --> 01:18:04,083
(Closes door)
1225
01:18:05,708 --> 01:18:07,042
(Thunder rumbling)
1226
01:18:11,208 --> 01:18:12,208
Right.
1227
01:18:14,125 --> 01:18:17,208
You go and apologise to your dad.
Now, please.
1228
01:18:18,500 --> 01:18:20,625
But he's not my dad, though, is he?
1229
01:18:23,375 --> 01:18:26,583
(Jean) How can you stand there
and say that...
1230
01:18:28,458 --> 01:18:31,083
- After all he's done for you?
- Hey, no.
1231
01:18:31,208 --> 01:18:35,833
Everything I've done, I've done meself.
He wanted me to be a flippin' astronaut!
1232
01:18:36,458 --> 01:18:38,208
He's made your life a misery.
1233
01:18:40,917 --> 01:18:41,917
Enough.
1234
01:18:47,042 --> 01:18:49,042
(Melancholic instrumental music)
1235
01:18:56,708 --> 01:18:58,708
(Jean) When I was 17...
1236
01:19:00,042 --> 01:19:01,208
I got, uh,
1237
01:19:02,167 --> 01:19:05,208
offered a job to join
a theatre company.
1238
01:19:06,458 --> 01:19:08,375
Seven pound fifty a week.
1239
01:19:11,708 --> 01:19:13,292
Dream come true.
1240
01:19:13,417 --> 01:19:15,500
Whole life set up for me.
1241
01:19:18,625 --> 01:19:19,750
What happened?
1242
01:19:21,208 --> 01:19:22,458
I got pregnant.
1243
01:19:24,958 --> 01:19:26,125
(Music continues)
1244
01:19:27,167 --> 01:19:31,083
I wanted to keep you, Michael,
no question in my mind about that.
1245
01:19:32,458 --> 01:19:33,875
But, um...
1246
01:19:35,000 --> 01:19:36,625
Nobody supported me.
1247
01:19:37,458 --> 01:19:40,125
Not my father, not my mother.
1248
01:19:41,083 --> 01:19:42,292
Not my friends.
1249
01:19:44,292 --> 01:19:47,250
I trained as a secretary
off my own back.
1250
01:19:47,375 --> 01:19:50,125
Set up the little theatre by myself.
1251
01:19:53,542 --> 01:19:55,875
I brought you up by myself.
1252
01:19:56,792 --> 01:19:57,792
Yeah.
1253
01:19:59,292 --> 01:20:02,875
Not a soul stood by my side
for a single second.
1254
01:20:06,333 --> 01:20:07,958
And then I met your father.
1255
01:20:08,083 --> 01:20:10,083
(Music building)
1256
01:20:27,042 --> 01:20:28,375
(Music slows down)
1257
01:20:28,500 --> 01:20:31,333
So, don't you tell me
he's made my life a misery.
1258
01:20:34,042 --> 01:20:35,583
He's made my life.
1259
01:20:36,750 --> 01:20:38,292
He's made all our lives.
1260
01:20:43,833 --> 01:20:44,833
Now...
1261
01:20:47,792 --> 01:20:49,375
I'm going out there...
1262
01:20:51,583 --> 01:20:53,125
To look for him.
1263
01:20:54,208 --> 01:20:57,375
And I suggest you come and help me.
1264
01:20:59,375 --> 01:21:01,417
I can't, mum, I've got a dinner.
1265
01:21:01,542 --> 01:21:05,542
Oh, ok, Michael. Well, never mind,
it's your life. Come on now, boys.
1266
01:21:10,708 --> 01:21:11,708
(Closes door)
1267
01:21:14,083 --> 01:21:15,500
(Wind blowing)
1268
01:21:21,917 --> 01:21:23,292
(Thunder rumbling)
1269
01:21:51,042 --> 01:21:53,208
(Slow melancholic music)
1270
01:23:12,375 --> 01:23:13,375
Maurice?
1271
01:23:14,417 --> 01:23:15,417
Maurice?
1272
01:23:17,958 --> 01:23:18,958
Jean?
1273
01:23:19,083 --> 01:23:21,042
Oh, you all right, Pam?
1274
01:23:21,167 --> 01:23:23,542
Hey, you've not seen Maurice,
have you?
1275
01:23:24,917 --> 01:23:27,833
But here,
I've got some post for you.
1276
01:23:27,958 --> 01:23:30,000
Oh. Thanks.
1277
01:23:30,542 --> 01:23:31,667
Be bills.
1278
01:23:39,083 --> 01:23:41,042
Postmark from america, look.
1279
01:23:48,667 --> 01:23:50,000
Willie, look at this.
1280
01:23:52,417 --> 01:23:55,083
Bloody hell.
Come on, we've gotta find him.
1281
01:23:56,042 --> 01:23:57,167
Thanks, Pam.
1282
01:23:57,625 --> 01:23:59,042
(Gene) Dad? (Jean) Maurice?
1283
01:23:59,167 --> 01:24:00,208
(James) Dad?
1284
01:24:01,083 --> 01:24:02,708
- Dad?
- (Willie) Maurice?
1285
01:24:03,625 --> 01:24:05,417
(Willie) Mol? (Jean) Maurice?
1286
01:24:06,208 --> 01:24:07,875
- (Willie) Mol?
- Dad? I
1287
01:24:10,500 --> 01:24:11,917
there he is.
1288
01:24:13,708 --> 01:24:17,958
(James) We're sorry, dad!
(Gene) We're really, really sorry!
1289
01:24:18,958 --> 01:24:22,375
Come down, love!
They didn't mean it! None of them!
1290
01:24:27,458 --> 01:24:29,083
They were right!
1291
01:24:30,875 --> 01:24:33,250
The world's not an oyster!
1292
01:24:34,250 --> 01:24:36,250
It's just a barnacle!
1293
01:24:37,833 --> 01:24:39,500
I see that now!
1294
01:24:41,000 --> 01:24:43,833
What are you talking about,
you bloody fool?
1295
01:24:44,583 --> 01:24:47,833
(Maurice) I raised your hopes
too high, lads!
1296
01:24:48,792 --> 01:24:50,000
I'm sorry.
1297
01:24:51,333 --> 01:24:54,708
I should've known
I would just let you down.
1298
01:24:55,750 --> 01:24:57,958
I wouldn't be so sure about that!
1299
01:24:58,500 --> 01:25:00,833
Why don't you come down
and read this?
1300
01:25:01,292 --> 01:25:03,583
(Jean) We've got a plane to catch!
1301
01:25:05,000 --> 01:25:07,375
(Terry) Dear mr flitcroft.
My name is Terry Moore
1302
01:25:07,500 --> 01:25:10,375
and I am writing to you
from grand rapids, Michigan.
1303
01:25:10,500 --> 01:25:13,583
You won't be aware of this, but,
for ten years now,
1304
01:25:13,708 --> 01:25:16,125
we've held
the Maurice flitcroft trophy
1305
01:25:16,250 --> 01:25:17,708
in your honour.
1306
01:25:17,833 --> 01:25:20,542
J“ you say this guy j“
1307
01:25:22,042 --> 01:25:26,125
j“ this guy's in love with you j“
1308
01:25:28,542 --> 01:25:30,000
j“ yes I'm in love... j“j“
1309
01:25:30,125 --> 01:25:33,875
(Terry) All the members bring their
families and the worst score wins,
1310
01:25:34,000 --> 01:25:35,708
not the best.
1311
01:25:36,292 --> 01:25:39,958
Such is the affection that our members have
towards you and the trophy
1312
01:25:40,083 --> 01:25:42,375
we would like to invite you
and your family over
1313
01:25:42,500 --> 01:25:45,333
for the ten-year anniversary
of the competition.
1314
01:25:46,417 --> 01:25:49,583
Sorry, mr flitcroft said
he's not to be disturbed.
1315
01:25:49,708 --> 01:25:51,625
Oh, all right. Well, uh...
1316
01:25:51,750 --> 01:25:54,792
Just make sure that he gets this,
all right?
1317
01:25:55,750 --> 01:25:57,167
Yeah, of course. Yeah.
1318
01:25:59,000 --> 01:26:02,208
J“ I got to know you cos j“
1319
01:26:03,042 --> 01:26:05,667
j“ I've heard some talk j“
1320
01:26:07,625 --> 01:26:09,833
j“ they say you think... j“j“
1321
01:26:09,958 --> 01:26:13,750
(Terry) We 'd like to offer you
first-class tickets, hotel accommodation
1322
01:26:13,875 --> 01:26:16,208
and as many golf balls
as you can lose.
1323
01:26:16,958 --> 01:26:20,875
We hope you'll accept our invitation
and that you have a pleasant flight.
1324
01:26:21,000 --> 01:26:22,292
Yours, Terry Moore.
1325
01:26:22,417 --> 01:26:25,292
President, blythefie/d country club,
grand rapids, Michigan.
1326
01:26:25,417 --> 01:26:27,958
J“ tell me now j“
1327
01:26:28,083 --> 01:26:30,083
j“isitso? J“
1328
01:26:30,208 --> 01:26:33,083
j“ don't let me be j“
1329
01:26:33,208 --> 01:26:35,625
j“ the last to know j“
1330
01:26:35,750 --> 01:26:37,417
j“ my hands j“
1331
01:26:39,292 --> 01:26:40,833
j“ are shaking j“
1332
01:26:42,208 --> 01:26:43,542
j“ don't let j“
1333
01:26:45,042 --> 01:26:47,750
j“ my heart keep breaking cos j“
1334
01:26:49,167 --> 01:26:50,167
j“ ineed... j“j“
1335
01:26:50,208 --> 01:26:52,750
- Maurice, I'm Terry Moore.
- Oh, hello, Terry.
1336
01:26:52,875 --> 01:26:54,792
So glad you could make it.
Welcome to america.
1337
01:26:54,917 --> 01:26:57,583
Pleased to meet you.
Thanks for having us.
1338
01:26:59,708 --> 01:27:02,875
J“ say you're in love j“
1339
01:27:04,375 --> 01:27:05,375
j“ in love j“
1340
01:27:06,250 --> 01:27:08,500
j“ with this guy j“
1341
01:27:12,667 --> 01:27:14,833
j“ if not, I'll just die... j“j“
1342
01:27:14,958 --> 01:27:18,250
- ah, ah, ah. What you doing?
- We're not finished.
1343
01:27:19,000 --> 01:27:22,375
I thought she was taking it away,
it's almost full. Sorry.
1344
01:27:22,500 --> 01:27:25,208
- (Indistinct)
- (Song continues, instrumental)
1345
01:27:37,917 --> 01:27:38,917
(Song stops)
1346
01:27:39,042 --> 01:27:41,792
Flitcroft, it's showtime.
1347
01:27:41,917 --> 01:27:43,375
Ok, stay calm.
1348
01:27:44,292 --> 01:27:47,167
Ah, to my office please. Thank you.
1349
01:27:47,792 --> 01:27:49,375
Mike. Come on.
1350
01:27:52,958 --> 01:27:54,167
(Quietly) Mike.
1351
01:28:01,375 --> 01:28:04,667
(Dick) 'Finally, the moment
we've all been waiting for.'
1352
01:28:04,792 --> 01:28:07,250
'Maurice flitcroft will tee off
1353
01:28:07,375 --> 01:28:10,250
at his own tournament
here at grand rapids.'
1354
01:28:15,417 --> 01:28:17,917
(Crowd cheering)
1355
01:28:22,292 --> 01:28:23,875
(Quiet applause)
1356
01:28:25,250 --> 01:28:28,583
Thank you, mr flitcroft.
You've given us much to think about.
1357
01:28:28,708 --> 01:28:30,375
Excuse us a moment.
1358
01:28:38,083 --> 01:28:42,083
Excuse me, mr flitcroft.
We have just one question more.
1359
01:28:42,208 --> 01:28:43,750
We were just wondering,
1360
01:28:43,875 --> 01:28:47,292
are you related by any chance
to Maurice flitcroft?
1361
01:28:47,417 --> 01:28:48,792
The crazy golfer?
1362
01:28:50,250 --> 01:28:51,917
No, no, no, no, no!
1363
01:28:52,708 --> 01:28:56,000
That's a really common name
round these parts.
1364
01:28:56,125 --> 01:29:00,167
He has nothing to do with Michael.
He's a different class of person.
1365
01:29:05,958 --> 01:29:07,750
Yes. I am.
1366
01:29:09,208 --> 01:29:10,500
He's my father.
1367
01:29:11,167 --> 01:29:13,292
Maurice flitcroft is my dad.
1368
01:29:15,167 --> 01:29:17,083
(Slow instrumental music)
1369
01:29:21,333 --> 01:29:25,375
- An honour to meet you.
- We are big fan of your father.
1370
01:29:25,500 --> 01:29:28,417
He's the only golfer
who is worse than my boss!
1371
01:29:31,000 --> 01:29:33,750
Yeah! We're all big fans
of Maurice round here.
1372
01:29:33,875 --> 01:29:36,667
He used to work here,
don't you know? Eh?
1373
01:29:36,792 --> 01:29:40,750
(Akira) Can we meet your father?
(Kenji) Would he play golf with us?
1374
01:29:40,875 --> 01:29:43,208
Yeah, I think he'd like that a lot.
1375
01:29:43,333 --> 01:29:44,958
(Laughter)
1376
01:29:47,667 --> 01:29:49,667
'What a great opening drive.'
1377
01:29:49,792 --> 01:29:52,625
'two twenty yards,
straight down the middle.'
1378
01:29:52,750 --> 01:29:55,333
'have they got
the real Maurice flitcroft?'
1379
01:29:57,792 --> 01:29:58,792
'whoa!'
1380
01:29:58,917 --> 01:30:00,042
(Maurice) 'Sorry!'
1381
01:30:02,083 --> 01:30:03,833
'oh, I think that's him.'
1382
01:30:05,250 --> 01:30:06,333
'you ok?'
1383
01:30:07,083 --> 01:30:09,125
j“ you could set me free
1384
01:30:09,250 --> 01:30:11,292
j“ come on, set me free
1385
01:30:11,958 --> 01:30:15,083
j“ we could dance
'neath the pale moonlight
1386
01:30:15,208 --> 01:30:17,083
j“ feeling good tonight
1387
01:30:17,208 --> 01:30:20,042
j“ feeling good tonight... j“
1388
01:30:35,375 --> 01:30:38,542
- We're staying here, brother.
- Read my mind, mate.
1389
01:30:39,042 --> 01:30:40,958
J“ some satisfaction
1390
01:30:41,083 --> 01:30:43,250
j“ is what I've been searching for
1391
01:30:43,375 --> 01:30:45,000
j“ got to find myself a... j“
1392
01:30:45,125 --> 01:30:46,125
great dancers.
1393
01:30:49,542 --> 01:30:52,042
'I'd just thrown away
the junior club championship
1394
01:30:52,167 --> 01:30:54,708
with a three putt from 15 feet.'
1395
01:30:54,833 --> 01:30:59,375
'i went home and I said to my dad:
"That's it, I'm giving up golf".'
1396
01:30:59,500 --> 01:31:02,167
'i went to my room,
switched on the TV
1397
01:31:02,292 --> 01:31:06,500
and saw Maurice flitcroft
hit four putts from ten feet.'
1398
01:31:06,625 --> 01:31:10,042
'i went downstairs and said to my dad:
"Maybe it wasn't so bad".'
1399
01:31:10,167 --> 01:31:11,167
(laughter)
1400
01:31:11,958 --> 01:31:15,458
'Next year I'll be playing
at the us masters in Augusta
1401
01:31:15,583 --> 01:31:18,458
for winning
the us amateur championship.'
1402
01:31:19,250 --> 01:31:22,833
'ladies and gentlemen,
I give you, Maurice flitcroft.'
1403
01:31:23,458 --> 01:31:25,625
(rousing instrumental music)
1404
01:31:50,125 --> 01:31:52,500
"Practice is the road
to perfection".
1405
01:31:53,417 --> 01:31:55,292
(Applause)
1406
01:31:56,458 --> 01:31:58,042
- Wonderful speech.
- Thank you.
1407
01:32:04,750 --> 01:32:05,833
(Clears throat)
1408
01:32:07,708 --> 01:32:09,042
'So, mm...'
1409
01:32:09,750 --> 01:32:10,792
'uh...'
1410
01:32:11,667 --> 01:32:14,458
'go... golf is a game
1411
01:32:15,250 --> 01:32:18,292
where you can play well
and score poorly
1412
01:32:18,417 --> 01:32:20,875
or play poorly and score well.'
1413
01:32:21,333 --> 01:32:24,500
'but... but my game
was never like that.'
1414
01:32:25,000 --> 01:32:26,500
'uh... I...'
1415
01:32:26,625 --> 01:32:29,875
'i played poorly
and I scored poorly as well.'
1416
01:32:31,833 --> 01:32:34,208
'but, uh,
if I can inspire just one person,
1417
01:32:34,333 --> 01:32:38,167
like this very talented young man,
that's a hole in one, isn't it?'
1418
01:32:38,292 --> 01:32:41,750
'that makes the whole thing worthwhile.
Good luck to you.'
1419
01:32:43,250 --> 01:32:44,750
'and keep practising.'
1420
01:32:46,042 --> 01:32:47,167
'good luck to you.'
1421
01:32:52,333 --> 01:32:54,375
(Slow melancholic music)
1422
01:33:06,583 --> 01:33:08,125
'Uh, so...'
1423
01:33:09,167 --> 01:33:11,000
'uh, thank you.'
1424
01:33:12,083 --> 01:33:14,167
'I'd like to thank, uh, Terry...
1425
01:33:14,292 --> 01:33:16,708
Terry Moore
and all the members of the club
1426
01:33:16,833 --> 01:33:19,375
paying an enormous
amount of money, I expect,
1427
01:33:19,500 --> 01:33:22,375
to bring Jean and I
and the family over here,
1428
01:33:22,500 --> 01:33:23,708
uh, for this week.'
1429
01:33:23,833 --> 01:33:27,167
'but whatever you paid,
the airline lost all our luggage,
1430
01:33:27,292 --> 01:33:30,708
so thanks for the clothes as well.'
1431
01:33:30,833 --> 01:33:32,708
(laughter)
1432
01:33:32,833 --> 01:33:36,542
'Well, there's so many people
I want to thank while I'm up here.'
1433
01:33:36,667 --> 01:33:40,500
'uh, I'd like to thank me sons,
James and gene,
1434
01:33:40,625 --> 01:33:43,083
the fantastic flitcrofts,
1435
01:33:43,208 --> 01:33:46,292
who you saw dancing on the floor
a little while ago.'
1436
01:33:46,417 --> 01:33:49,542
'and, uh,
I'd like to thank me son, Mike.'
1437
01:33:49,667 --> 01:33:53,000
'and, uh, I'd like to thank,
uh, Lloyd Donovan
1438
01:33:53,458 --> 01:33:57,208
uh, a journalist who's been
documenting me ups and downs.'
1439
01:33:57,333 --> 01:34:02,000
'but there's one person that, uh,
that I've never thanked publicly.'
1440
01:34:03,167 --> 01:34:08,167
'actually, I don't think I've ever
even thanked her, uh, privately.'
1441
01:34:08,292 --> 01:34:12,250
'uh, so tonight, I'd very much
like to thank me wife, Jean.'
1442
01:34:15,458 --> 01:34:17,708
'if life were a cup of tea,
1443
01:34:18,375 --> 01:34:20,250
my Jean is the sugar.'
1444
01:34:20,833 --> 01:34:23,458
'without it, it's unbearable,
Chuck it away.'
1445
01:34:23,583 --> 01:34:25,875
'but with it, it's like...
1446
01:34:26,000 --> 01:34:28,250
It's like heaven on earth.'
1447
01:34:28,833 --> 01:34:31,125
'she... she's a magician.'
1448
01:34:31,250 --> 01:34:33,667
'she is. She's a magician.'
1449
01:34:33,792 --> 01:34:35,875
'she's the light of me life
1450
01:34:36,000 --> 01:34:39,417
and I don't know
how I'd cope without her.'
1451
01:34:39,542 --> 01:34:41,167
(quiet instrumental music)
1452
01:34:41,292 --> 01:34:43,125
'I love her very, very much.'
1453
01:34:43,250 --> 01:34:44,958
(crowd) Aww...
1454
01:34:51,000 --> 01:34:52,417
'To Jean.'
1455
01:34:52,542 --> 01:34:54,792
(all) To Jean!
1456
01:34:54,917 --> 01:34:56,542
(Music building)
1457
01:35:01,083 --> 01:35:02,958
(Whistle cheers)
1458
01:35:29,958 --> 01:35:32,083
- (Indistinct)
- (Music continues)
1459
01:35:41,417 --> 01:35:42,875
- Ta, dad.
- Ta.
1460
01:35:43,000 --> 01:35:44,708
That's caviar, there.
1461
01:35:46,500 --> 01:35:47,500
Maurice.
1462
01:35:48,083 --> 01:35:50,042
- Champagne and caviar.
- Yeah.
1463
01:35:50,167 --> 01:35:51,375
Travel the world.
1464
01:35:51,500 --> 01:35:55,417
- Yeah, travel the world. Like I said.
- Just like you promised.
1465
01:35:55,542 --> 01:35:58,500
Shame about the diamonds.
I'll forgive you that.
1466
01:35:58,625 --> 01:36:01,458
Shame. Wait a minute, me heart.
1467
01:36:01,583 --> 01:36:04,792
Oh, Jean, it's rattling some.
Me old heart.
1468
01:36:05,917 --> 01:36:07,750
Well, what's that?
1469
01:36:07,875 --> 01:36:09,250
What've you done?
1470
01:36:10,458 --> 01:36:13,042
- Oh, Maurice.
- It's come right out of me heart.
1471
01:36:20,083 --> 01:36:21,667
Where'd you get that?
1472
01:36:22,917 --> 01:36:25,750
Cliff sent it me
from his mate down the market.
1473
01:36:26,208 --> 01:36:29,333
So, maybe don't wear it in public.
1474
01:36:29,875 --> 01:36:31,958
It's beautiful, thank you.
1475
01:36:36,000 --> 01:36:38,792
- I meant it.
- I know. Thank you.
1476
01:36:51,083 --> 01:36:52,875
(Dick) 80, Maurice.
1477
01:36:53,333 --> 01:36:56,542
Any more goals
as far as golf is concerned?
1478
01:36:56,667 --> 01:37:00,667
Oh. Well, maybe
sports personality of the year.
1479
01:37:01,417 --> 01:37:06,208
I'm surprised I haven't been nominated.
There's a conspiracy against me.
1480
01:37:07,042 --> 01:37:09,500
- It's kind of not fair, is it?
- No, it's sport.
1481
01:37:09,625 --> 01:37:11,750
It's all about sport, isn't it?
1482
01:37:11,875 --> 01:37:16,167
I mean, for every winner
of a tournament there's a 149 losers.
1483
01:37:16,292 --> 01:37:18,333
(Dick chuckles)
1484
01:37:18,458 --> 01:37:20,708
Wonderful way
to leave the interview.
1485
01:37:20,833 --> 01:37:21,917
Thanks.
1486
01:37:23,417 --> 01:37:24,958
Maurice flitcroft.
1487
01:37:25,083 --> 01:37:27,375
The phantom of the open.
1488
01:37:27,500 --> 01:37:29,250
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
1489
01:37:34,583 --> 01:37:35,583
And cut.
1490
01:37:36,292 --> 01:37:37,833
Thank you, Maurice.
1491
01:37:37,958 --> 01:37:39,625
Will I get my tea now?
1492
01:37:39,750 --> 01:37:43,292
Oh, my gosh, I forgot.
Can someone get Maurice his tea?
1493
01:37:43,417 --> 01:37:46,167
- Uh, was it six sugars? — six.
1494
01:37:46,958 --> 01:37:51,875
A lot of pros here in the states get
invited to play in the open and don't go.
1495
01:37:52,542 --> 01:37:53,542
Why not?
1496
01:37:54,125 --> 01:37:57,542
Well, uh, it's a long way,
it's expensive...
1497
01:37:58,708 --> 01:38:01,708
I got a buddy who's a pro
in frenchman's creek, Florida,
1498
01:38:01,833 --> 01:38:05,458
and he's not going because
he doesn't like the weather in Scotland.
1499
01:38:05,583 --> 01:38:07,083
Can you believe that?
1500
01:38:07,208 --> 01:38:08,792
- Really?
- Oh, yeah.
1501
01:38:10,625 --> 01:38:11,792
What's his name?
1502
01:38:12,417 --> 01:38:15,292
(J“ the soul children:
"Put your world in my world" j“)
1503
01:38:22,542 --> 01:38:25,125
J“ everybody got a world j“
1504
01:38:26,333 --> 01:38:28,292
j“ they're living in, girl j“
1505
01:38:29,583 --> 01:38:32,500
j“ I wanna take you j“
1506
01:38:32,625 --> 01:38:34,250
j“ I know I can't make you... j“j“
1507
01:38:34,375 --> 01:38:38,375
(Tony) 'Welcome to the first round
of qualifying for the British open.'
1508
01:38:38,500 --> 01:38:41,583
'we got players here
from all round the world.'
1509
01:38:41,708 --> 01:38:43,750
'they've got Japanese, Australians.'
1510
01:38:43,875 --> 01:38:46,625
'players from France,
Germany, Spain, you name it.
1511
01:38:46,750 --> 01:38:49,208
'A very smooth looking
American there.'
1512
01:38:50,125 --> 01:38:52,708
j“ put your world in my world j“
1513
01:38:53,458 --> 01:38:56,000
j“ put your plans in my plans j“
1514
01:38:56,708 --> 01:39:01,250
j“ we can be together, baby
we're the best of two worlds... j“j“
1515
01:39:02,000 --> 01:39:04,083
'the course is looking spectacular.'
1516
01:39:04,208 --> 01:39:06,417
'so, without further ado,
1517
01:39:06,542 --> 01:39:08,458
let's get out on the course.'
1518
01:39:09,708 --> 01:39:11,250
'ladies and gentlemen,
1519
01:39:12,083 --> 01:39:14,333
please welcome on the tee,
1520
01:39:14,458 --> 01:39:17,333
from frenchman's creek, Florida,
1521
01:39:17,458 --> 01:39:19,625
gene pachecki.'
1522
01:39:21,500 --> 01:39:23,458
j“ so, it stands to reason j“
1523
01:39:24,625 --> 01:39:26,750
j“ people fussin' all the time j“
1524
01:39:27,958 --> 01:39:29,958
j“ just take my hand... j“j“
1525
01:39:30,083 --> 01:39:31,083
come on.
1526
01:39:31,208 --> 01:39:33,458
J“ I know you understand j“
1527
01:39:34,417 --> 01:39:36,708
j“ that you gonna be my woman j“
1528
01:39:37,250 --> 01:39:39,250
j“ baby
I'm so gonna be your man... j“j“
1529
01:39:39,375 --> 01:39:41,250
isn't that Maurice flitcroft?
1530
01:39:41,375 --> 01:39:42,375
J“ yeah j“
1531
01:39:42,417 --> 01:39:45,500
j“ all you've got to do for me is j“
1532
01:39:45,625 --> 01:39:48,958
j“ put your world in my world, oh j“
1533
01:39:49,083 --> 01:39:51,625
j“ put your plans in my plans j“
1534
01:39:52,333 --> 01:39:56,375
j“ we can be together, baby
we 're the best of two worlds j“
1535
01:39:59,292 --> 01:40:00,833
j“aw, awj“
1536
01:40:01,417 --> 01:40:04,250
j“ ooh, ooh, ooh j“
1537
01:40:09,083 --> 01:40:12,208
j“ girl, you've got my soul j“
1538
01:40:12,333 --> 01:40:14,625
j“ can I have your mind? J“
1539
01:40:14,750 --> 01:40:16,708
j“ oh, baby, look here j“
1540
01:40:16,833 --> 01:40:19,458
j“ but you can make
my whole world better j“
1541
01:40:19,583 --> 01:40:22,792
j“ just put your world in my world j“
1542
01:40:23,625 --> 01:40:26,375
j“ put your plans in my plans j“
1543
01:40:26,958 --> 01:40:30,625
j“ we can be together, baby... j“j“
(Song stops)
1544
01:40:31,750 --> 01:40:33,375
(Newsreader) 'B/ythefield country club
1545
01:40:33,500 --> 01:40:37,583
is in the midst of it's tenth annual
flitcroft member-guest golf tournament. '
1546
01:40:37,708 --> 01:40:39,708
'an event named
after Maurice flitcroft.'
1547
01:40:39,833 --> 01:40:42,542
'Maurice flitcroft,
a crane driver from barrow.'
1548
01:40:42,667 --> 01:40:47,208
(dick) 'Do you wanna go on?
Are you looking maybe at the hall of fame?'
1549
01:40:47,333 --> 01:40:51,292
'the hall of fame, back home,
maybe, uh, sportsman of the year.'
1550
01:40:51,417 --> 01:40:55,042
'I'm surprised I've not been invited
or nominated for that:
1551
01:40:55,167 --> 01:40:57,208
Sports personality of the year.'
1552
01:40:57,333 --> 01:40:59,583
'there's something going on.'
1553
01:40:59,708 --> 01:41:02,375
'there's a conspiracy
being waged against me.'
1554
01:41:02,500 --> 01:41:04,333
(j' Jimmy James: "A man like me" j“)
1555
01:41:04,458 --> 01:41:08,250
J“ I won't spend my life
on a shelf j“
1556
01:41:08,375 --> 01:41:10,167
j“ I need you, my baby j“
1557
01:41:10,292 --> 01:41:12,125
j“ and nobody else... j“j“
1558
01:41:12,625 --> 01:41:15,042
'to explain to those
who don't know about golf.'
1559
01:41:15,167 --> 01:41:18,250
'you're gonna putt
as if you were on a green.'
1560
01:41:18,375 --> 01:41:21,958
'you're gonna aim for this thing.
Quite dramatic, isn't it?'
1561
01:41:25,250 --> 01:41:27,083
(Tom) 'Oh, that was a nearly.'
1562
01:41:27,208 --> 01:41:30,500
(Anne) 'A lot of pressure.
You shouldn't speak.'
1563
01:41:30,625 --> 01:41:34,292
(Tom) 'You need a few shots
to get used to the pace of the green.'
1564
01:41:36,750 --> 01:41:40,083
- 'this is not going too well, is it?'
- 'This floor's sloping.'
1565
01:41:41,583 --> 01:41:42,917
(song continues)
1566
01:41:55,917 --> 01:41:57,458
(Dick) 'A man of your stature,
1567
01:41:57,583 --> 01:42:01,083
and your competence
on a golf course,
1568
01:42:01,208 --> 01:42:05,500
we can't leave without
some tips for golfers like myself.'
1569
01:42:05,625 --> 01:42:07,625
'person picking up a golf club
for the first time,
1570
01:42:07,750 --> 01:42:09,542
what would be your advice?'
1571
01:42:10,917 --> 01:42:12,542
'my advice, well...'
1572
01:42:14,042 --> 01:42:15,333
'um...
1573
01:42:15,458 --> 01:42:16,458
'Practice.'
1574
01:42:17,083 --> 01:42:20,083
'that is the road to perfection.
Regular practice.'
1575
01:42:20,917 --> 01:42:22,292
(song continues)
1576
01:42:31,708 --> 01:42:32,708
(Song stops)
113919
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