Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:02:47,300 --> 00:02:48,535
What's up?
2
00:02:49,435 --> 00:02:51,104
Animal Planet.
3
00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:53,774
Man, I just had the craziest dream.
4
00:02:53,974 --> 00:02:55,943
-About what?
-I don't remember.
5
00:02:56,143 --> 00:02:58,212
Yeah. Yeah.
6
00:03:00,314 --> 00:03:01,382
Morning, guys.
7
00:03:01,583 --> 00:03:03,217
Morning, Gene.
8
00:03:07,122 --> 00:03:08,590
What did we do last night?
9
00:03:08,823 --> 00:03:10,225
I don't know.
10
00:03:11,026 --> 00:03:13,730
Wait. Didn't the twins have a party?
11
00:03:13,962 --> 00:03:15,999
Yeah, that's it. Twins had a party.
12
00:03:16,199 --> 00:03:18,068
-Right.
-Right.
13
00:03:18,735 --> 00:03:20,470
Were we there?
14
00:03:21,338 --> 00:03:23,006
I'm assuming we were.
15
00:03:23,207 --> 00:03:25,843
What kind of boyfriends
would we be if we weren't?
16
00:03:26,710 --> 00:03:28,246
Did I get any messages?
17
00:03:28,913 --> 00:03:30,014
Nope.
18
00:03:32,584 --> 00:03:33,952
See you tomorrow, Gene.
19
00:03:34,319 --> 00:03:35,888
Shibby.
20
00:03:38,324 --> 00:03:40,226
How do you know Gene?
21
00:03:41,260 --> 00:03:43,496
Oh, I thought he was your friend.
22
00:03:43,696 --> 00:03:45,866
No, no, I don't know him.
23
00:03:49,569 --> 00:03:51,305
I'm starving.
24
00:03:56,811 --> 00:03:59,948
-It's pudding.
-I always wondered what a fridge...
25
00:04:00,148 --> 00:04:02,417
...full of pudding would look like.
26
00:04:03,018 --> 00:04:06,222
Is it possible that we got
so wasted last night...
27
00:04:06,422 --> 00:04:10,126
...we bought a lifetime supply
of pudding and then forgot about it?
28
00:04:13,696 --> 00:04:15,465
I'd say it's entirely possible.
29
00:04:18,335 --> 00:04:20,538
-Jesse.
-And Chester are shibby right now.
30
00:04:20,738 --> 00:04:24,075
Please leave your shibby at the beep.
Shibby.
31
00:04:24,509 --> 00:04:26,310
What happened last night?
32
00:04:26,511 --> 00:04:30,181
You show up with a bunch of people,
pizzas and a keg. Our house is trashed.
33
00:04:30,382 --> 00:04:33,218
You're sucky boyfriends.
Always disappointing us.
34
00:04:33,419 --> 00:04:36,255
Now you're probably on the couch
in your underwear.
35
00:04:36,456 --> 00:04:37,623
Playing thumb wars.
36
00:04:37,824 --> 00:04:39,358
Wearing those Army helmets.
37
00:04:39,558 --> 00:04:42,762
And if you are, you've probably
forgotten our anniversary.
38
00:04:42,963 --> 00:04:44,264
Which is today.
39
00:04:44,465 --> 00:04:47,335
You don't get the special treats
we had for you.
40
00:04:47,535 --> 00:04:50,505
Just wanted to thank you guys
for trashing our house.
41
00:04:50,705 --> 00:04:51,939
Bye!
42
00:04:52,373 --> 00:04:53,575
Twins sound pissed.
43
00:04:54,242 --> 00:04:57,145
-Good thing we already got them gifts.
-Yeah.
44
00:04:57,879 --> 00:05:01,016
So where are the gifts?
45
00:05:02,451 --> 00:05:05,121
-They must be in your car.
-They're in the car.
46
00:05:05,321 --> 00:05:08,258
So we'll just take the gifts
to the twins' house...
47
00:05:08,492 --> 00:05:09,826
...get our special treats.
48
00:05:10,026 --> 00:05:12,796
Hey, what do you think they mean
by special treats?
49
00:05:12,996 --> 00:05:15,466
We've been going out with them
for a year now.
50
00:05:15,700 --> 00:05:17,401
And we still haven't had sex.
51
00:05:17,902 --> 00:05:21,706
"Special treats" is code for sex.
52
00:05:21,940 --> 00:05:23,541
Of course.
53
00:05:23,741 --> 00:05:26,078
-Special treats!
-Sex.
54
00:05:26,278 --> 00:05:27,680
Open up, you slackers!
55
00:05:28,080 --> 00:05:29,281
Mr. Pizzacoli!
56
00:05:29,481 --> 00:05:30,950
You left work last night...
57
00:05:31,217 --> 00:05:33,319
...with 30 pizzas
that didn't get delivered!
58
00:05:33,519 --> 00:05:34,988
I want some answers!
59
00:05:35,221 --> 00:05:37,824
Open up this damn door!
60
00:05:38,025 --> 00:05:39,059
It's open.
61
00:05:42,429 --> 00:05:44,231
-Moron!
-What? I'm sorry.
62
00:05:54,876 --> 00:05:55,911
Mr. Pizzacoli.
63
00:05:56,111 --> 00:05:59,082
-Hi, how you doing?
-30 pizzas didn't get delivered!
64
00:05:59,548 --> 00:06:02,919
If I found out you was taking
my pizza home to eat yourselves...
65
00:06:03,119 --> 00:06:05,222
...I will crush you like a doodlebug!
66
00:06:05,422 --> 00:06:07,124
-Look, it's an elephant!
-What?
67
00:06:09,793 --> 00:06:13,964
-Guess it was just a mailman.
-You two are the most irresponsible...
68
00:06:14,165 --> 00:06:16,968
...and disappointing employees
ever to work...
69
00:06:17,168 --> 00:06:19,738
...at Mr. Pizzacoli's
Pronto Pizza Delivery!
70
00:06:19,938 --> 00:06:22,574
A trained dolphin could do
a better job than you!
71
00:06:23,141 --> 00:06:25,911
Well, sure, but then the pizzas
would get all wet.
72
00:06:26,211 --> 00:06:27,580
Look, a unicorn!
73
00:06:30,383 --> 00:06:31,418
A unicorn?
74
00:06:31,651 --> 00:06:34,988
Sorry, I guess it was just
a regular horse. Weird!
75
00:06:35,189 --> 00:06:37,124
You've been embezzling my pizza.
76
00:06:37,324 --> 00:06:39,694
And I will catch you eventually.
77
00:06:39,894 --> 00:06:43,565
And when I do, I swear to God,
you will never deliver pizzas...
78
00:06:43,765 --> 00:06:45,133
...in this town again!
79
00:06:49,037 --> 00:06:50,673
-Close one.
-Yeah.
80
00:06:53,809 --> 00:06:55,545
We'll go to the twins' house.
81
00:06:55,745 --> 00:06:59,282
We'll give them their gifts
and apologize for trashing the house.
82
00:06:59,483 --> 00:07:01,885
And then we get our special treats.
83
00:07:04,554 --> 00:07:05,923
Dude, where's my car?
84
00:07:06,123 --> 00:07:07,492
Where's your car, dude?
85
00:07:09,527 --> 00:07:10,895
Dude, where's my car?
86
00:07:12,797 --> 00:07:14,132
Where's your car, dude?
87
00:07:14,633 --> 00:07:16,302
Dude, where's my car?
88
00:07:16,669 --> 00:07:18,037
Where's your car, dude?
89
00:07:18,637 --> 00:07:20,873
-Did I drive last night?
-Yeah, I think so.
90
00:07:21,073 --> 00:07:24,010
-Really?
-I'm not sure.
91
00:07:25,879 --> 00:07:29,282
-Dude, where's your car?
-Dude, it's not funny. It's gone.
92
00:07:29,817 --> 00:07:31,986
-Yeah.
-Dude, where's my car?
93
00:07:35,389 --> 00:07:36,590
Shut up, dude!
94
00:07:36,791 --> 00:07:38,459
Okay. Okay, look.
95
00:07:38,659 --> 00:07:41,062
You're right.
What we need to do is...
96
00:07:41,263 --> 00:07:43,932
...get into the state of mind
we were in last night.
97
00:07:44,133 --> 00:07:46,135
That way, we can retrace our steps.
98
00:07:46,668 --> 00:07:49,438
-Yeah.
-Sense Memory Simulated Perception...
99
00:07:49,638 --> 00:07:52,142
...Altered Consciousness
Memory Retrieval.
100
00:07:53,976 --> 00:07:55,312
Discovery Channel.
101
00:07:55,512 --> 00:07:56,980
Nice.
102
00:07:57,214 --> 00:07:59,316
-Nelson's?
-Shibby.
103
00:08:06,157 --> 00:08:08,160
-I'm sick of walking, dude.
-Me too.
104
00:08:10,095 --> 00:08:12,998
Hey, it's Mrs. Crabbleman.
She'll give us a ride.
105
00:08:13,198 --> 00:08:14,600
Hey, Mrs. Crabbleman!
106
00:08:15,067 --> 00:08:17,170
Hey! Hey!
107
00:08:19,072 --> 00:08:21,174
Mrs. Crabbleman.
108
00:08:27,581 --> 00:08:29,550
Fucking stoners.
109
00:08:31,519 --> 00:08:33,454
She must not have recognized you.
110
00:08:33,655 --> 00:08:35,357
-It's the Binglemans.
-Oh, hey.
111
00:08:35,557 --> 00:08:37,125
Mr. Bingleman!
112
00:08:38,828 --> 00:08:40,229
Hey, Mr. Bingleman.
113
00:08:44,067 --> 00:08:46,803
-Maybe we should just walk.
-Yeah.
114
00:08:47,003 --> 00:08:48,872
Listen, Nelson, the car is gone...
115
00:08:49,138 --> 00:08:51,608
...and we need to do
this sense memory thing...
116
00:08:51,808 --> 00:08:55,146
...so we can get back in the state
of mind we were in last night.
117
00:08:55,746 --> 00:08:59,084
Deep in your consciousness,
you must look.
118
00:08:59,417 --> 00:09:03,622
Concentrate on the knowledge inside,
you must.
119
00:09:05,290 --> 00:09:07,459
Your eyes, you must close.
120
00:09:07,660 --> 00:09:09,728
And you take it to the mo.
121
00:09:19,606 --> 00:09:20,908
Whoops.
122
00:09:29,284 --> 00:09:30,852
Concentrating, you're not.
123
00:09:31,653 --> 00:09:32,921
Sorry.
124
00:09:33,121 --> 00:09:35,758
-Is your dog dead?
-He's not dead.
125
00:09:35,958 --> 00:09:38,294
Come here, Jackal. Come here, boy.
126
00:09:38,494 --> 00:09:41,030
-I don't think he's coming.
-Maybe he's deaf.
127
00:09:41,230 --> 00:09:42,498
Deaf, he is not, dude.
128
00:09:42,799 --> 00:09:43,767
Come here, Jackal.
129
00:09:44,034 --> 00:09:46,537
-Come here, Jackal.
-Does he know any other tricks...
130
00:09:46,770 --> 00:09:48,372
...besides not moving?
131
00:09:49,039 --> 00:09:51,608
All right, you want
to see a trick, man?
132
00:09:51,809 --> 00:09:52,877
Hey, Jackal.
133
00:09:58,850 --> 00:10:00,218
Bite down, killer.
134
00:10:00,419 --> 00:10:02,588
Here comes the fun. All right.
135
00:10:06,725 --> 00:10:08,194
Good boy, Jackal.
136
00:10:08,394 --> 00:10:10,163
Good boy.
137
00:10:10,864 --> 00:10:13,667
Breathe deep. There you go.
138
00:10:13,867 --> 00:10:17,238
-Dude, your dog's a stoner.
-Can he also bong a beer?
139
00:10:17,438 --> 00:10:20,074
Nah, pretty much all he does is...
140
00:10:20,274 --> 00:10:21,910
...lie around and smoke his pipe.
141
00:10:22,110 --> 00:10:23,745
Jackal, can I see your pipe?
142
00:10:24,412 --> 00:10:28,550
Oh, no, don't!
Very protective, he is of his pipe.
143
00:10:28,751 --> 00:10:32,321
When other people touch it,
he does not like.
144
00:10:32,521 --> 00:10:33,722
Sorry, Jackal.
145
00:10:34,724 --> 00:10:36,659
Yeah, see? He's sorry.
146
00:10:37,060 --> 00:10:38,495
Holy crap.
147
00:10:38,695 --> 00:10:42,166
-That's one psycho dog, dude.
-You know what we should do now?
148
00:10:42,399 --> 00:10:45,236
-Eat?
-No. Eat.
149
00:10:46,738 --> 00:10:50,208
Choice excellent, my friend.
I'll get the keys.
150
00:11:09,463 --> 00:11:10,931
Hey, Nelson. Let me order.
151
00:11:11,498 --> 00:11:13,901
"Chinese Foooood. " May I help you?
152
00:11:14,102 --> 00:11:16,571
-I'd like to place an order.
-What you like?
153
00:11:16,771 --> 00:11:19,341
Yeah, I'd like three orders
of garlic chicken.
154
00:11:19,541 --> 00:11:22,243
-And then?
-And then three orders of white rice.
155
00:11:22,444 --> 00:11:26,081
-And then?
-And then....
156
00:11:26,282 --> 00:11:28,151
-Hey, you guys want soup?
-Sure.
157
00:11:28,351 --> 00:11:31,454
-Yeah. Three orders of won ton soup.
-And then?
158
00:11:31,754 --> 00:11:34,925
-Oh, some fortune cookies too.
-And then?
159
00:11:36,560 --> 00:11:37,594
That's about it.
160
00:11:37,795 --> 00:11:38,962
And then?
161
00:11:41,199 --> 00:11:42,667
No, that's it.
162
00:11:42,867 --> 00:11:44,469
-And then?
-No "and then."
163
00:11:44,669 --> 00:11:46,738
I-- That's all I want.
164
00:11:46,938 --> 00:11:48,073
And then?
165
00:11:50,476 --> 00:11:54,980
And then-- And then nothing else,
because I'm done ordering. Okay?
166
00:11:55,181 --> 00:11:56,649
And then?
167
00:11:59,152 --> 00:12:02,923
See, all I want is the three orders
of the garlic chicken...
168
00:12:03,123 --> 00:12:04,191
...and the white rice.
169
00:12:04,558 --> 00:12:05,626
And then?
170
00:12:05,826 --> 00:12:08,696
-And the soup, dude.
-Oh, and the won ton soup.
171
00:12:08,963 --> 00:12:11,365
-And then?
-And the cookies, fortune.
172
00:12:11,565 --> 00:12:12,967
And the fortune cookies.
173
00:12:13,167 --> 00:12:16,504
So it's just the chicken, the rice...
174
00:12:16,705 --> 00:12:19,542
...the soup and the fortune cookies,
and that's it.
175
00:12:20,175 --> 00:12:21,844
And then?
176
00:12:25,482 --> 00:12:27,951
And then you can put it
in a brown paper bag...
177
00:12:28,151 --> 00:12:31,021
...and put it in my hand,
because I'm ready to eat.
178
00:12:31,555 --> 00:12:33,157
And then?
179
00:12:33,657 --> 00:12:36,560
I refuse to play
your Chinese food mind games.
180
00:12:36,760 --> 00:12:39,464
-And then?
-No! No "and then"!
181
00:12:39,664 --> 00:12:42,000
-And then?
-No "and then"!
182
00:12:42,200 --> 00:12:44,169
-And then?
-No "and then"!
183
00:12:44,369 --> 00:12:45,938
-And then?
-No! No "and then"!
184
00:12:46,138 --> 00:12:49,708
-And then?
-You're starting to piss me off, lady.
185
00:12:49,908 --> 00:12:52,245
-And then?
-And then...
186
00:12:52,445 --> 00:12:56,216
...I'm gonna come in there
and put my foot in your ass...
187
00:12:56,416 --> 00:12:59,086
...if you say "and then" again!
188
00:13:04,625 --> 00:13:07,395
And then and then
and then and then and then....
189
00:13:14,069 --> 00:13:16,439
And then?
190
00:13:16,639 --> 00:13:19,475
Come on, Nelson,
just help us find my car.
191
00:13:19,675 --> 00:13:22,913
You didn't have to go all "egg roll"
on that speaker box.
192
00:13:23,113 --> 00:13:25,782
I'm not the one that called
the Dalai Lama a fag.
193
00:13:25,982 --> 00:13:30,087
-I was just kidding around.
-Well, Nelson didn't appreciate it.
194
00:13:30,488 --> 00:13:33,724
Look, it's Christie Boner.
195
00:13:38,363 --> 00:13:41,700
Wow! The hottest of the hot.
196
00:13:41,900 --> 00:13:45,504
El fuego of all that is el fuego.
197
00:13:49,642 --> 00:13:53,213
-Did she just wave at us?
-No way. She would never wave at us.
198
00:13:53,413 --> 00:13:55,282
Then why did she just wave at us?
199
00:13:55,482 --> 00:13:58,252
I don't know. Maybe she thinks
we're other people.
200
00:13:58,452 --> 00:13:59,620
People she waves to.
201
00:14:05,126 --> 00:14:06,695
Hi, Chester.
202
00:14:07,396 --> 00:14:08,464
Hi.
203
00:14:08,831 --> 00:14:12,435
Hi, Jesse. I had a really
good time with you last night.
204
00:14:15,672 --> 00:14:17,807
-Me too.
-That was some crazy party.
205
00:14:18,508 --> 00:14:21,612
-Hey, have you seen my car?
-Well, I saw it last night.
206
00:14:23,247 --> 00:14:25,082
I mean, I saw the back seat.
207
00:14:25,850 --> 00:14:29,253
-I mean the whole thing.
-Get another one with all the money...
208
00:14:29,453 --> 00:14:31,723
-...you were throwing around.
-Money?
209
00:14:31,923 --> 00:14:35,193
Yeah. You had that really nice
suitcase full of money.
210
00:14:36,629 --> 00:14:40,600
-A suitcase full of money?
-Don't you remember giving me $500...
211
00:14:40,833 --> 00:14:43,002
...to show you my hoo-hoos?
212
00:14:43,870 --> 00:14:46,539
-$500?
-Hoo-hoos?
213
00:14:46,739 --> 00:14:49,476
You mean, you don't remember anything?
214
00:15:00,288 --> 00:15:01,456
How about now?
215
00:15:02,791 --> 00:15:03,926
No.
216
00:15:04,526 --> 00:15:06,562
How about now?
217
00:15:11,935 --> 00:15:13,403
I'm a little bit fuzzy too.
218
00:15:13,636 --> 00:15:16,774
Maybe if I could get
a little refresher course.
219
00:15:21,345 --> 00:15:22,947
-All right.
-Go.
220
00:15:24,015 --> 00:15:26,317
-Are these losers bothering you?
-No, Tommy.
221
00:15:26,518 --> 00:15:29,488
Guys like you could never score
with a chick like this.
222
00:15:29,688 --> 00:15:32,391
-Stick to your own kind.
-Don't be such a jerk.
223
00:15:32,591 --> 00:15:34,894
Next time you guys
bother my girlfriend...
224
00:15:35,094 --> 00:15:38,198
-...stoner-bashing time.
-Oh, yeah?
225
00:15:38,431 --> 00:15:39,632
Yeah.
226
00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:42,802
-Okay.
-Consider this your warning.
227
00:15:45,873 --> 00:15:47,341
Later, dudes!
228
00:15:50,912 --> 00:15:53,381
Dude, you touched
Christie Boner's hoo-hoo.
229
00:15:53,581 --> 00:15:54,783
Shibby!
230
00:15:54,983 --> 00:15:56,351
Low-five.
231
00:15:57,386 --> 00:15:59,588
-Yeah.
-Let's get out of here.
232
00:16:01,590 --> 00:16:02,558
Chester!
233
00:16:02,892 --> 00:16:05,695
Dude, that Christie Boner
is super hot.
234
00:16:05,896 --> 00:16:08,231
Where did we get a suitcase
full of money?
235
00:16:08,431 --> 00:16:09,800
Why don't we have it now?
236
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:12,870
Maybe we deposited it
in a Swiss bank account.
237
00:16:14,572 --> 00:16:18,009
Now, if we had a ridiculous
sum of money, where would we go?
238
00:16:18,776 --> 00:16:20,011
Dude.
239
00:16:27,085 --> 00:16:28,353
Sweet!
240
00:16:31,457 --> 00:16:33,626
No way we were here last night.
241
00:16:35,295 --> 00:16:37,798
We'd never fit in
at a place like this.
242
00:16:38,031 --> 00:16:41,501
Look everyone!
It's Mr. Jesse and Mr. Chester!
243
00:16:52,248 --> 00:16:55,484
Look at the toggles on that kitten.
244
00:16:59,388 --> 00:17:02,726
Good afternoon, Jesse, Chester.
How are we feeling today?
245
00:17:03,493 --> 00:17:05,062
A little fuzzy.
246
00:17:06,096 --> 00:17:09,867
Hi, Chester. Hi, Jesse.
247
00:17:10,067 --> 00:17:12,336
Did you guys enjoy
yourselves last night?
248
00:17:14,705 --> 00:17:16,808
-Have we met?
-It's me, Tania.
249
00:17:17,008 --> 00:17:18,911
Remember last night
when I gave you...
250
00:17:19,111 --> 00:17:22,848
...that super-special,
slippery-wet lap dance?
251
00:17:26,753 --> 00:17:29,322
Of course. How can I forget?
252
00:17:29,956 --> 00:17:32,059
You want to do it again?
253
00:17:32,292 --> 00:17:35,496
This time, it's on me.
254
00:17:43,739 --> 00:17:45,808
If you say so.
255
00:17:54,484 --> 00:17:56,386
Didn't I get a special lap dance?
256
00:17:56,787 --> 00:17:58,488
Did you ever.
257
00:18:10,402 --> 00:18:11,870
Sweet!
258
00:18:12,237 --> 00:18:13,772
Sweet!
259
00:18:14,473 --> 00:18:15,907
So...
260
00:18:16,108 --> 00:18:20,179
...just how super-special
can a slippery lap dance be?
261
00:18:20,613 --> 00:18:24,884
What the hell were you thinking,
throwing around my money like that?
262
00:18:25,084 --> 00:18:28,655
-You're a....
-I'm a gender-challenged male.
263
00:18:29,089 --> 00:18:30,658
What does that mean?
264
00:18:32,493 --> 00:18:34,629
Oh, dude, you're a dude! That's--
265
00:18:35,963 --> 00:18:37,132
You....
266
00:18:47,143 --> 00:18:50,780
Last night, I had you sneak a suitcase
of stolen money out of here.
267
00:18:50,980 --> 00:18:53,650
-Stolen money?
-$200,000.
268
00:18:53,950 --> 00:18:55,252
$200,000!
269
00:18:55,452 --> 00:18:58,656
I gave you the case and left.
We were supposed to meet.
270
00:18:58,856 --> 00:19:01,926
But you never showed up!
Where's that suitcase?
271
00:19:02,259 --> 00:19:03,928
-I don't know.
-You don't know?
272
00:19:14,874 --> 00:19:17,577
-Where's that suitcase?
-It's in my car.
273
00:19:17,777 --> 00:19:21,314
Then get it. Fast.
Or else you'll be singing soprano.
274
00:19:33,261 --> 00:19:36,298
Dude. Dude, dude!
275
00:19:36,765 --> 00:19:38,233
-We gotta go.
-Are you crazy?
276
00:19:38,467 --> 00:19:40,369
I'm with breakdancing strippers.
277
00:19:40,570 --> 00:19:42,805
Seriously, dude, this is an emergency.
278
00:19:43,005 --> 00:19:44,207
So is this, dude.
279
00:19:44,407 --> 00:19:47,110
It's a breakdancing
stripper emergency.
280
00:19:48,078 --> 00:19:50,480
-Goodbye!
-Bye, Chester!
281
00:19:50,680 --> 00:19:52,182
I love you!
282
00:19:53,550 --> 00:19:57,421
We were supposed to meet her with
the suitcase, but we didn't show up.
283
00:19:57,822 --> 00:20:00,792
Sounds like us.
How wasted were we last night?
284
00:20:00,992 --> 00:20:04,296
I touched Christie's hoo-hoo,
we're on the hook for $200,000...
285
00:20:04,497 --> 00:20:07,667
...that belongs to a transsexual
stripper, and my car's gone.
286
00:20:08,100 --> 00:20:12,071
-I'd say we were pretty wasted.
-We really need to find your car.
287
00:20:12,305 --> 00:20:16,209
Okay, let's see. The last place
we remember being last night was....
288
00:20:16,409 --> 00:20:20,514
The twins'. But we can't show up
without the anniversary gifts.
289
00:20:20,715 --> 00:20:23,684
I got it! We'll get them
a little something for now.
290
00:20:23,885 --> 00:20:28,223
When we find the car, we'll give them
the real gifts. That's a dollar...
291
00:20:28,590 --> 00:20:29,892
...thirty-nine.
292
00:20:30,092 --> 00:20:32,594
-I don't know.
-Trust me.
293
00:20:32,828 --> 00:20:35,297
-It'll be totally cool. Let's go.
-Okay.
294
00:20:39,869 --> 00:20:41,704
We are so dead.
295
00:20:42,239 --> 00:20:43,941
I roger that.
296
00:21:04,664 --> 00:21:07,900
-We've been cleaning all day.
-What do you guys have to say?
297
00:21:08,101 --> 00:21:10,270
Happy anniversary.
298
00:21:16,210 --> 00:21:19,314
We ate the dark ones.
We know you guys don't like those.
299
00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:21,983
Dark ones are the only ones
we do like.
300
00:21:23,117 --> 00:21:24,553
Oh, yeah.
301
00:21:25,420 --> 00:21:29,424
But you could use the box to keep....
302
00:21:30,626 --> 00:21:32,362
You keep...
303
00:21:33,630 --> 00:21:35,031
...ribbons.
304
00:21:37,033 --> 00:21:39,936
-You guys forgot our anniversary.
-No, of course not.
305
00:21:40,137 --> 00:21:43,574
No, we got you guys great gifts.
We just had some car trouble.
306
00:21:43,808 --> 00:21:45,877
We came over here
as soon as we could...
307
00:21:46,077 --> 00:21:47,979
...to help you guys clean up but....
308
00:21:48,412 --> 00:21:49,380
Oh, no.
309
00:21:50,882 --> 00:21:53,018
It looks like you're already done.
310
00:21:53,218 --> 00:21:55,354
All we have to do is
take out the trash.
311
00:21:55,554 --> 00:21:57,690
Guess they haven't been outside yet.
312
00:21:58,057 --> 00:22:00,226
You know what?
We'll take out the trash.
313
00:22:00,459 --> 00:22:02,428
You guys go and take a nice hot bath.
314
00:22:02,729 --> 00:22:05,498
Yeah. You deserve it
after all this hard work.
315
00:22:05,698 --> 00:22:06,967
Pamper yourselves.
316
00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:09,537
-Just....
-Don't make a mess.
317
00:22:14,308 --> 00:22:16,577
Slow and steady, good buddy.
318
00:22:16,778 --> 00:22:17,946
10-4.
319
00:22:18,413 --> 00:22:19,948
-You're tilting.
-Sorry.
320
00:22:20,182 --> 00:22:22,952
-Why are you tilting?
-You gave me the heavy end.
321
00:22:29,292 --> 00:22:31,494
-Let it go, man.
-No, we can get it.
322
00:22:31,694 --> 00:22:33,997
No. Let it go.
323
00:22:34,331 --> 00:22:36,300
We're not leaving it behind.
324
00:22:37,534 --> 00:22:38,502
Okay.
325
00:22:39,170 --> 00:22:41,405
-I'll take my shoe off.
-Okay.
326
00:22:45,377 --> 00:22:46,811
Watch it. Stop pushing!
327
00:22:47,012 --> 00:22:49,348
Watch it! Careful. Careful.
328
00:22:52,985 --> 00:22:55,889
-Are we cool? Are we cool?
-We're still cool.
329
00:23:04,665 --> 00:23:07,268
Now, take your shoe off,
and you get it.
330
00:23:09,537 --> 00:23:12,907
-Okay.
-Get it. That's it, that's it.
331
00:23:13,508 --> 00:23:14,743
I got it!
332
00:23:16,812 --> 00:23:18,247
Oh, my God!
333
00:23:24,921 --> 00:23:26,623
You can't do anything right.
334
00:23:26,823 --> 00:23:29,025
Why do you have to mess everything up?
335
00:23:42,241 --> 00:23:45,844
-I got three words: anger management.
-Yeah!
336
00:23:46,044 --> 00:23:48,848
Dude, we really need
to find your car.
337
00:23:56,090 --> 00:23:58,726
Sorry about yanking you
off the street like that.
338
00:23:58,926 --> 00:24:01,796
-We really need to talk to you.
-Who are you guys?
339
00:24:01,996 --> 00:24:06,100
My name is Zarnoff. This is Zabu,
Zellner, Zilbor, Zelmina...
340
00:24:06,334 --> 00:24:07,836
-...and Jeff.
-Hey.
341
00:24:10,005 --> 00:24:13,842
More specifically, we are
the recipients of instructions...
342
00:24:14,043 --> 00:24:18,581
...from extraterrestrials regarding
the interstellar path to outer space.
343
00:24:20,550 --> 00:24:21,751
Go ahead and laugh.
344
00:24:21,952 --> 00:24:23,987
We are used to being mocked.
345
00:24:24,621 --> 00:24:26,023
Okay.
346
00:24:26,356 --> 00:24:29,627
We have been sent
by our wise and powerful leader...
347
00:24:29,827 --> 00:24:30,828
...Zoltan...
348
00:24:31,062 --> 00:24:34,666
...to find you and recover
the continuum transfunctioner.
349
00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:37,970
Hey, have you guys
ever been to Uranus?
350
00:24:38,170 --> 00:24:40,739
It's supposed to be
nice this time of year.
351
00:24:40,940 --> 00:24:44,143
This is important. We intercepted
an interstellar message...
352
00:24:44,343 --> 00:24:46,712
...that leads us to believe
that last night...
353
00:24:46,912 --> 00:24:50,250
...you were in possession
of the continuum transfunctioner.
354
00:24:50,451 --> 00:24:51,518
Where is it now?
355
00:24:51,785 --> 00:24:54,288
-The who what?
-The continuum transfunctioner...
356
00:24:54,521 --> 00:24:56,991
...is a very mysterious
and powerful device.
357
00:24:57,191 --> 00:24:59,160
-And?
-And its mystery...
358
00:24:59,594 --> 00:25:01,897
...is exceeded only by its power.
359
00:25:02,130 --> 00:25:04,833
Sorry, we don't remember
a thing about last night.
360
00:25:05,033 --> 00:25:06,301
You must be careful.
361
00:25:06,501 --> 00:25:10,306
Danger follows the continuum
transfunctioner. So says....
362
00:25:10,506 --> 00:25:12,942
-Zoltan.
-Zoltan.
363
00:25:13,709 --> 00:25:15,178
I'll tell you what.
364
00:25:15,378 --> 00:25:19,182
We'll keep our eyes out for the
continual trans-ding-a-ling thing...
365
00:25:19,383 --> 00:25:21,618
...and if we see it,
we'll give you a call.
366
00:25:21,818 --> 00:25:23,054
Yes. You must.
367
00:25:23,254 --> 00:25:25,556
But remember,
you are in great danger.
368
00:25:25,756 --> 00:25:26,991
Trust no one.
369
00:25:27,292 --> 00:25:28,459
Except for us.
370
00:25:28,660 --> 00:25:30,262
Thank you, Jeff. Good point.
371
00:25:30,462 --> 00:25:32,664
Trust no one, except for us.
372
00:25:32,998 --> 00:25:34,366
Zoltan.
373
00:25:41,674 --> 00:25:44,711
Wait a second. Let's recap.
Last night, we lost my car...
374
00:25:44,912 --> 00:25:47,714
...we accepted stolen money
from a transsexual stripper...
375
00:25:47,914 --> 00:25:52,120
...and now some space nerds want us
to find something we can't pronounce.
376
00:25:52,520 --> 00:25:54,889
Maybe we should cut back
on the shibbying.
377
00:25:57,960 --> 00:25:59,661
-Thanks, dude.
-Oh, good!
378
00:25:59,928 --> 00:26:03,165
You're right on time.
You pick up special suits.
379
00:26:03,799 --> 00:26:07,937
Mr. Lee, tailor, make special
suits for you. Come on.
380
00:26:14,578 --> 00:26:18,582
-Dude, you got a tattoo!
-What?
381
00:26:18,816 --> 00:26:21,286
-So did you, dude.
-Naw.
382
00:26:23,021 --> 00:26:25,290
-Dude, what does my tattoo say?
-"Sweet"!
383
00:26:25,490 --> 00:26:27,826
-What about mine?
-"Dude." What does mine say?
384
00:26:28,026 --> 00:26:29,127
"Sweet."
385
00:26:29,328 --> 00:26:30,596
-What about mine?
-"Dude."
386
00:26:30,829 --> 00:26:32,331
-What does mine say?
-"Sweet"!
387
00:26:32,565 --> 00:26:34,534
-What about mine?
-"Dude." And mine?
388
00:26:34,767 --> 00:26:36,536
"Sweet." What about mine?
389
00:26:36,736 --> 00:26:38,204
"Dude." What does mine say?
390
00:26:38,438 --> 00:26:40,307
"Sweet"! What about mine?
391
00:26:40,541 --> 00:26:42,409
"Dude." What does mine say?
392
00:26:42,609 --> 00:26:45,312
"Sweet"! What about mine?
393
00:26:45,713 --> 00:26:48,482
"Dude"! What does mine say?
394
00:26:48,683 --> 00:26:50,284
"Sweet"!
395
00:26:51,552 --> 00:26:53,088
Idiots!
396
00:26:55,291 --> 00:26:58,227
Your tattoo says "dude,"
your tattoo says "sweet."
397
00:26:58,928 --> 00:27:00,196
Got it?
398
00:27:02,799 --> 00:27:04,534
Sorry.
399
00:27:04,734 --> 00:27:06,436
-Hey.
-Hey.
400
00:27:06,903 --> 00:27:08,672
-Sorry.
-Sorry.
401
00:27:15,847 --> 00:27:18,817
-Shibby.
-Very sharp, very sharp.
402
00:27:19,050 --> 00:27:22,020
You two number one, extra-special
good-looking guys.
403
00:27:22,220 --> 00:27:24,690
-We got these last night?
-You were pretty--
404
00:27:26,892 --> 00:27:29,095
-How much are these?
-You already pay for.
405
00:27:29,328 --> 00:27:33,566
I just do some minor alterations.
Add the secret pockets you order.
406
00:27:33,934 --> 00:27:36,403
Maybe we got
the continual trans-sphincter.
407
00:27:36,604 --> 00:27:37,738
What's--?
408
00:27:38,272 --> 00:27:39,706
Oh, dude!
409
00:27:43,778 --> 00:27:45,380
Dude!
410
00:27:53,255 --> 00:27:54,791
Sweet!
411
00:28:11,075 --> 00:28:12,077
Cool!
412
00:28:12,310 --> 00:28:15,447
-How did we pay for these suits?
-Oh, you pay cash.
413
00:28:15,647 --> 00:28:19,418
Cold hard cash,
crispy new hundred-dollar bills.
414
00:28:20,218 --> 00:28:22,722
Hey, did you see
what car we were driving?
415
00:28:23,122 --> 00:28:24,957
Me? No, I don't see no car.
416
00:28:31,765 --> 00:28:33,033
Hello?
417
00:28:34,702 --> 00:28:36,671
Dude, we bought cell phones.
418
00:28:39,240 --> 00:28:41,209
That's not all we bought, dude.
419
00:29:29,063 --> 00:29:30,565
Shibby!
420
00:30:47,651 --> 00:30:52,089
Man, I cannot believe
we leased a car last night. God!
421
00:30:52,289 --> 00:30:54,925
-But who's Johnny Potsmoker?
-That's my alter ego.
422
00:30:55,126 --> 00:30:56,861
I thought that was my alter ego.
423
00:30:57,062 --> 00:30:59,331
No, that's my alter ego.
424
00:30:59,531 --> 00:31:02,468
-Your alter ego is Smokey McPot.
-Oh, yeah.
425
00:31:04,136 --> 00:31:06,105
You're never gonna figure that out.
426
00:31:07,006 --> 00:31:08,107
Okay, dude.
427
00:31:08,308 --> 00:31:10,643
There it is. Break time's over.
428
00:31:11,244 --> 00:31:12,545
Time to find my car.
429
00:31:12,912 --> 00:31:15,015
This is impossible.
430
00:31:15,549 --> 00:31:17,484
Are you Jesse and Chester?
431
00:31:20,488 --> 00:31:22,223
Are you Jesse and Chester?
432
00:31:23,558 --> 00:31:25,393
I don't know. Why?
433
00:31:25,593 --> 00:31:27,562
If you are Jesse and Chester...
434
00:31:27,796 --> 00:31:30,266
...perhaps we will give you
erotic pleasure.
435
00:31:30,733 --> 00:31:32,034
-That's us.
-Right here.
436
00:31:32,234 --> 00:31:35,071
We are looking
for the continuum transfunctioner.
437
00:31:35,271 --> 00:31:39,609
-Who are you guys?
-We are not guys. We are hot chicks.
438
00:31:40,110 --> 00:31:42,312
She's totally right.
439
00:31:42,513 --> 00:31:44,181
The continuum transfunctioner...
440
00:31:44,381 --> 00:31:46,450
...is a very mysterious
and powerful device.
441
00:31:46,951 --> 00:31:48,653
-And?
-And its mystery...
442
00:31:48,853 --> 00:31:50,488
...is only exceeded by its power.
443
00:31:50,788 --> 00:31:52,256
That doesn't really help.
444
00:32:13,047 --> 00:32:17,218
We will give you pleasure now, if you
give us the continuum transfunctioner.
445
00:32:17,451 --> 00:32:21,189
Let me get your proposition straight.
First you give us...
446
00:32:21,423 --> 00:32:24,993
...the pleasure, then we give
you the continuum transfunctioner?
447
00:32:25,194 --> 00:32:28,397
No. First you give us
the continuum transfunctioner...
448
00:32:28,597 --> 00:32:30,833
...then we give you the pleasure.
449
00:32:31,034 --> 00:32:33,036
I've heard that one before.
450
00:32:33,269 --> 00:32:34,905
Okay, look. How about this?
451
00:32:35,105 --> 00:32:37,507
You give me pleasure...
452
00:32:37,707 --> 00:32:40,645
...then we'll give you
the continuum transfunctioner.
453
00:32:40,845 --> 00:32:43,147
-If there's time, you do him.
-Dude--
454
00:32:43,347 --> 00:32:44,782
-Deal.
-Sweet!
455
00:32:44,983 --> 00:32:46,617
-Wait a second.
-Thank you.
456
00:32:46,818 --> 00:32:50,054
Come here. Those space nerds
told us not to trust anybody.
457
00:32:50,255 --> 00:32:54,827
Yeah, but for the love of God,
they're offering us oral pleasure!
458
00:32:55,027 --> 00:32:56,429
What--?
459
00:32:57,296 --> 00:32:59,198
-Okay.
-Okay.
460
00:32:59,399 --> 00:33:01,568
Hey. Where did the hot chicks go?
461
00:33:04,104 --> 00:33:06,206
Where's my money, boys?
462
00:33:06,941 --> 00:33:09,377
We were just going to get it.
463
00:33:10,578 --> 00:33:13,548
You picked the wrong
transsexual stripper to screw with.
464
00:33:13,781 --> 00:33:15,650
You're pinching me.
465
00:33:16,785 --> 00:33:19,955
Well, let's see what the cops
have to say about this.
466
00:33:20,322 --> 00:33:22,625
-You're busted.
-Busted.
467
00:33:22,925 --> 00:33:26,462
-B-U-S-T, busted.
-This one.
468
00:33:27,263 --> 00:33:30,433
-These guys.
-Chester! I saw this on COPS!
469
00:33:30,634 --> 00:33:33,470
-Kick hard and hit back!
-Bye-bye, boys.
470
00:33:34,137 --> 00:33:35,238
Put on the siren.
471
00:33:37,241 --> 00:33:40,011
You're sticking to the
"I don't remember" crap.
472
00:33:40,245 --> 00:33:41,679
Yeah. We don't remember.
473
00:33:41,913 --> 00:33:44,049
Last night, your car
was spotted leaving...
474
00:33:44,249 --> 00:33:47,453
-...the scene of a major drug deal.
-You found my car.
475
00:33:47,686 --> 00:33:51,090
You guys got more important things
to worry about right now.
476
00:33:51,524 --> 00:33:54,661
Where were you between
midnight and 2 a.m. last night?
477
00:33:54,961 --> 00:33:58,799
I told you, okay?
We don't remember anything.
478
00:33:58,999 --> 00:34:01,935
I see we're gonna have to do
this the hard way.
479
00:34:03,704 --> 00:34:07,809
Where were you last night between
the hours of midnight and 2 a.m.?
480
00:34:08,142 --> 00:34:10,044
We don't know.
481
00:34:19,622 --> 00:34:20,689
What the--?
482
00:34:25,462 --> 00:34:27,798
-Now do you remember?
-No.
483
00:34:38,276 --> 00:34:40,612
-How about now?
-No.
484
00:34:50,256 --> 00:34:53,059
Hey, leave him alone!
He doesn't know anything!
485
00:34:53,994 --> 00:34:57,364
-Now are you ready to talk?
-Dude, we don't remember!
486
00:34:57,998 --> 00:35:01,202
Okay, here are the whips
you guys wanted.
487
00:35:03,271 --> 00:35:05,306
Hey, it's the donut guys.
488
00:35:06,408 --> 00:35:09,278
These two were at
the Donut House last night.
489
00:35:09,478 --> 00:35:13,081
We started talking and they bought
donuts for the whole precinct.
490
00:35:13,282 --> 00:35:15,284
What time did all this happen?
491
00:35:15,518 --> 00:35:18,488
Let's see. Must've been
between midnight and 2 a.m.
492
00:35:19,256 --> 00:35:20,490
Damn!
493
00:35:20,858 --> 00:35:24,395
You can't be the guys
we're looking for. Sorry.
494
00:35:31,002 --> 00:35:32,103
Hang in there, bro.
495
00:35:33,271 --> 00:35:35,740
-Come on, Kojak.
-All right.
496
00:35:36,341 --> 00:35:38,344
I'm really sorry about all this.
497
00:35:38,577 --> 00:35:41,214
Looks like it was a case
of mistaken identity.
498
00:35:41,414 --> 00:35:44,384
Actually, those are
the real criminals over there.
499
00:35:45,918 --> 00:35:47,086
One of our officers...
500
00:35:47,287 --> 00:35:51,158
-...made a wrong identification.
-Yeah, that was me.
501
00:35:51,358 --> 00:35:52,960
I'm sorry about that, fellas.
502
00:35:53,160 --> 00:35:55,596
Rick will tell you exactly
where your car is.
503
00:35:57,565 --> 00:35:59,601
-We found the car.
-We found the car.
504
00:35:59,834 --> 00:36:01,570
We found the car!
505
00:36:01,770 --> 00:36:03,872
-Yeah, we found the car.
-Found my car.
506
00:36:04,106 --> 00:36:08,377
Now we get the gifts, go to the twins'
house, and get our special treats.
507
00:36:08,577 --> 00:36:10,012
Sweet!
508
00:36:10,246 --> 00:36:12,916
Give us the keys
and we're out of here.
509
00:36:13,116 --> 00:36:14,584
You got it.
510
00:36:17,187 --> 00:36:19,657
Oh, boy. Oh, boy.
511
00:36:19,857 --> 00:36:21,259
What's the problem, Rick?
512
00:36:21,559 --> 00:36:23,260
Nothing, I just-- Boy.
513
00:36:23,460 --> 00:36:25,129
Okay. Jeez.
514
00:36:26,865 --> 00:36:30,568
Did you say you wanted your car back,
or you wanted it impounded?
515
00:36:31,003 --> 00:36:33,906
We want the car back, please.
516
00:36:34,106 --> 00:36:37,610
Oh, I see. That's kind of funny,
because what happened was...
517
00:36:37,844 --> 00:36:41,748
...I accidentally sent your car
to the impound.
518
00:36:41,948 --> 00:36:43,383
-Rick.
-I know.
519
00:36:43,584 --> 00:36:45,919
I can definitely tell you this.
You guys...
520
00:36:46,119 --> 00:36:48,322
...can get the car back in a few days.
521
00:36:48,522 --> 00:36:51,926
We don't have a few days, Rick.
We need the car back now.
522
00:36:52,927 --> 00:36:57,399
Say, how about a treat?
There's Bavarian cream.
523
00:37:00,135 --> 00:37:02,137
-Yeah.
-That's a good one there.
524
00:37:02,371 --> 00:37:05,174
-It's good.
-It's great. I have a lot of them.
525
00:37:05,374 --> 00:37:07,343
-You know what? Forget about it.
-Okay.
526
00:37:07,577 --> 00:37:09,980
-Psych!
-Oh, jeez. You got me.
527
00:37:10,180 --> 00:37:12,516
Hey, fellows, who's the goose? Me.
528
00:37:13,016 --> 00:37:14,318
You're such a joker.
529
00:37:16,988 --> 00:37:17,955
One.
530
00:37:20,725 --> 00:37:23,495
-Damn!
-Have you seen Jesse and Chester?
531
00:37:23,695 --> 00:37:26,598
-What?
-We're looking for Jesse and Chester.
532
00:37:27,032 --> 00:37:28,768
I don't know where they are...
533
00:37:28,968 --> 00:37:31,170
...but I bet those punks
over there do.
534
00:37:31,971 --> 00:37:35,675
So then, remember?
I said, "Later, dudes."
535
00:37:38,578 --> 00:37:42,016
-Why were you with those jerks anyway?
-They were just being nice...
536
00:37:42,216 --> 00:37:43,684
...unlike someone I know.
537
00:37:43,917 --> 00:37:46,887
Maybe it's time I find someone
with a sensitive side.
538
00:37:47,188 --> 00:37:49,457
Someone who respects me as a person.
539
00:37:49,657 --> 00:37:52,060
Maybe somebody like Jesse or Chester.
540
00:37:55,764 --> 00:37:58,868
Okay, listen up.
We're gonna find Jesse and Chester.
541
00:37:59,068 --> 00:38:02,072
And when we do, stoner-bashing time!
542
00:38:02,305 --> 00:38:05,175
-Do you know Jesse and Chester?
-Who are you?
543
00:38:05,375 --> 00:38:08,579
-We are hot chicks.
-Yes, you are.
544
00:38:08,779 --> 00:38:11,715
We believe they have
the continuum transfunctioner.
545
00:38:12,049 --> 00:38:15,887
However, if you recover the continuum
transfunctioner from them...
546
00:38:16,087 --> 00:38:19,057
...and bring it to us,
we will give you erotic pleasure.
547
00:38:19,290 --> 00:38:21,060
You've got yourselves a deal.
548
00:38:21,460 --> 00:38:23,596
Okay, guys. Okay, guys, new plan.
549
00:38:23,796 --> 00:38:27,667
First, we find those stoners,
get the continuum transfunctioner...
550
00:38:27,867 --> 00:38:30,904
-...then, it's jerk-bashing time.
-Yeah!
551
00:38:31,371 --> 00:38:32,839
Oh, yeah.
552
00:38:33,073 --> 00:38:35,242
I just remembered where
you might be able to find them.
553
00:38:37,311 --> 00:38:38,278
Send those chicks to meet the twins.
554
00:38:38,712 --> 00:38:41,082
That'll put those dudes
in some hot water.
555
00:38:43,818 --> 00:38:46,688
Try it again. Okay?
Just knock it out of the park.
556
00:38:46,888 --> 00:38:48,456
All right, give it a shot.
557
00:38:49,458 --> 00:38:50,893
Okay, you almost got it.
558
00:38:51,093 --> 00:38:54,897
Now just concentrate on the beep,
swing as hard as you can...
559
00:38:55,097 --> 00:38:57,066
...and keep your ear on the ball.
Okay?
560
00:38:57,300 --> 00:38:59,569
All right, little buddy,
you can do it!
561
00:39:04,108 --> 00:39:06,811
I did it! I did it!
I hit it! I did it!
562
00:39:11,182 --> 00:39:14,219
-Do you know Jesse and Chester?
-Pardon me?
563
00:39:14,552 --> 00:39:17,923
-We're looking for Jesse and Chester.
-Who are you?
564
00:39:18,257 --> 00:39:20,626
We're extremely hot chicks
with big breasts.
565
00:39:21,027 --> 00:39:22,395
Really?
566
00:39:23,663 --> 00:39:26,299
Can I touch your face?
It's the only way I can see...
567
00:39:26,499 --> 00:39:29,069
-...who I'm talking to.
-Okay.
568
00:39:30,804 --> 00:39:34,141
Wow! You are hot.
569
00:39:41,649 --> 00:39:43,652
Is this normal?
570
00:39:44,052 --> 00:39:47,189
Oh, yeah. This is how
blind people shake hands.
571
00:39:47,723 --> 00:39:49,525
-Sammy, you're up next.
-Okay--
572
00:39:49,725 --> 00:39:52,061
-Come on.
-What the--? Sis!
573
00:39:52,595 --> 00:39:55,899
Excuse me, a little help.
Wanda. Wilma.
574
00:39:56,099 --> 00:39:58,869
-Anthony?
-Anthony, what is going on?
575
00:39:59,069 --> 00:40:01,773
Nothing. I was just reading.
576
00:40:02,640 --> 00:40:04,609
Bye, ladies, I need to be alone now.
577
00:40:04,809 --> 00:40:08,046
-We're looking for Jesse and Chester.
-Who are you guys?
578
00:40:08,246 --> 00:40:10,515
We are not guys. We are hot chicks.
579
00:40:11,183 --> 00:40:14,052
We're supposed to meet them later,
but we can't wait.
580
00:40:14,620 --> 00:40:17,991
-We don't know where they are.
-And frankly, we don't care.
581
00:40:22,996 --> 00:40:26,400
-Dude, let's call Nelson.
-Yeah. See if he's home.
582
00:40:30,371 --> 00:40:32,273
-Hello?
-Hey, Nelson, it's Chester.
583
00:40:32,573 --> 00:40:34,876
Hey, Chester! No, it's me, Tommy.
584
00:40:35,443 --> 00:40:37,579
Your buddy Nelson is busy
at the moment.
585
00:40:38,147 --> 00:40:40,282
This is bad karma, boys.
586
00:40:41,149 --> 00:40:44,053
Hey, tell me where
that continuum transfunctioner is.
587
00:40:45,287 --> 00:40:46,689
No hablo English.
588
00:40:46,889 --> 00:40:50,160
Your friend's dead meat unless
I get that continuum transfunctioner.
589
00:40:51,628 --> 00:40:53,430
Jackal! Get your pipe!
590
00:40:55,365 --> 00:40:57,568
-My balls!
-What was that?
591
00:40:57,768 --> 00:41:01,873
Tommy's gotten to Nelson! He knows
about the continuum transfunctioner.
592
00:41:02,073 --> 00:41:05,577
Those double-crossing
sexy, sexy sluts!
593
00:41:07,880 --> 00:41:12,485
I am so sick of hearing about
this continuum transfunctioner thing.
594
00:41:12,685 --> 00:41:16,622
-If one more person asks--
-You got the continuum transfunctioner?
595
00:41:16,957 --> 00:41:18,425
Who are you guys?
596
00:41:18,625 --> 00:41:21,862
We are the keepers
of the continuum transfunctioner.
597
00:41:22,462 --> 00:41:25,900
It is all that stands between
the universe and destruction.
598
00:41:26,100 --> 00:41:28,236
It is a mysterious
and powerful device.
599
00:41:28,436 --> 00:41:31,339
And its mystery
is only exceeded by its power.
600
00:41:31,539 --> 00:41:32,975
-We know.
-We don't have it.
601
00:41:33,175 --> 00:41:34,142
But the universe?
602
00:41:34,376 --> 00:41:36,478
Screw the universe.
603
00:41:42,586 --> 00:41:44,354
Screw the universe?
604
00:41:57,368 --> 00:42:00,205
Chimpanzees often use sticks
as crude tools.
605
00:42:00,405 --> 00:42:02,674
That is one smart primate.
606
00:42:06,513 --> 00:42:08,481
-Hey.
-Hey.
607
00:42:08,714 --> 00:42:10,050
What are you doing here?
608
00:42:10,250 --> 00:42:13,620
We just wanted to see
how that car trouble thing was going.
609
00:42:13,921 --> 00:42:17,524
Oh, the car. It's in the shop.
610
00:42:17,758 --> 00:42:18,726
Really?
611
00:42:18,960 --> 00:42:21,830
The shop run by beautiful women
in black jumpsuits?
612
00:42:22,030 --> 00:42:24,165
The ones you were
hanging with earlier?
613
00:42:24,365 --> 00:42:27,736
-Well, you see, Jesse thought--
-Today's our anniversary.
614
00:42:27,936 --> 00:42:30,839
-Not only do you not have gifts.
-But you guys ditch us...
615
00:42:31,040 --> 00:42:32,508
...for some big-breasted bimbos...
616
00:42:32,741 --> 00:42:35,678
-...while we're cleaning our house....
-Which you trashed.
617
00:42:35,878 --> 00:42:37,113
Twice.
618
00:42:37,313 --> 00:42:39,082
-You're sucky boyfriends.
-But--
619
00:42:39,282 --> 00:42:43,320
We just wanted to come
and tell you in person that it's over.
620
00:42:46,023 --> 00:42:48,793
-Wilma?
-Thank you, Wanda.
621
00:42:58,170 --> 00:43:00,105
-They're totally right.
-Yeah.
622
00:43:00,305 --> 00:43:02,442
We are sucky boyfriends.
623
00:43:03,843 --> 00:43:06,846
Do you even remember
what kind of gifts we got them?
624
00:43:07,080 --> 00:43:10,117
-I bet we got them sucky gifts.
-Yeah.
625
00:43:10,717 --> 00:43:12,453
We suck.
626
00:43:19,628 --> 00:43:23,131
Wait, I just got a really bad feeling
in the pit of my stomach.
627
00:43:23,699 --> 00:43:25,568
You should go sit on the toilet.
628
00:43:26,001 --> 00:43:28,671
No, no.
You know what the feeling is?
629
00:43:29,505 --> 00:43:30,840
It's love.
630
00:43:32,876 --> 00:43:34,778
-Is that what that is?
-Yeah.
631
00:43:34,978 --> 00:43:38,115
I'm in love with Wanda.
And you're in love with Wilma.
632
00:43:39,049 --> 00:43:40,618
But see, now that we know...
633
00:43:40,851 --> 00:43:43,788
...that we've been sucky boyfriends,
we can change.
634
00:43:43,988 --> 00:43:46,791
-We can?
-Yeah. And you know what else?
635
00:43:46,991 --> 00:43:50,629
I'll bet you that we did buy them
super-cool anniversary gifts.
636
00:43:50,829 --> 00:43:52,965
You know why? Because we love them.
637
00:43:53,266 --> 00:43:55,134
Are they wrapped in cool paper?
638
00:43:55,401 --> 00:43:57,670
Yeah. I'll tell you what we'll do.
639
00:43:58,037 --> 00:44:01,541
We'll go to the impound lot, get the car,
which has the gifts in it...
640
00:44:01,775 --> 00:44:05,513
...and then go to the twins' house,
and beg for them to take us back!
641
00:44:06,080 --> 00:44:07,982
Yeah! Let's do it.
642
00:44:09,150 --> 00:44:12,186
No, hold on. I gotta take a crap.
643
00:44:12,453 --> 00:44:13,688
-Told you.
-I know.
644
00:44:13,888 --> 00:44:14,856
I know your body.
645
00:44:26,702 --> 00:44:30,607
Boys, I got some good news.
We just got your car in this morning.
646
00:44:31,008 --> 00:44:32,342
All right!
647
00:44:32,542 --> 00:44:34,111
But the bad news is...
648
00:44:34,345 --> 00:44:37,581
...not only did Officer Boyer
send your car to the impound...
649
00:44:37,782 --> 00:44:41,052
...he tagged it for auction
and it was sold this afternoon.
650
00:44:41,419 --> 00:44:42,387
Rick.
651
00:44:43,488 --> 00:44:47,459
-Do you know who bought the car?
-I have the address right here.
652
00:44:47,693 --> 00:44:49,361
All right.
653
00:44:49,562 --> 00:44:51,997
But it'd be against Regulation...
654
00:44:52,198 --> 00:44:55,736
...457XY2-665 to give it to you.
655
00:44:56,002 --> 00:44:57,404
Come on. Just--
656
00:44:59,039 --> 00:45:01,875
Reaching onto this side
of the counter isn't allowed.
657
00:45:02,143 --> 00:45:05,780
The last guy who tried it ended up
with three broken fingers.
658
00:45:09,251 --> 00:45:11,820
-Reach it.
-You can reach it!
659
00:45:12,020 --> 00:45:14,456
No, I got--
One of these has carpal tunnel.
660
00:45:14,656 --> 00:45:17,260
What if I further injure myself?
661
00:45:18,894 --> 00:45:20,196
I have to do everything.
662
00:45:20,396 --> 00:45:23,833
I'm a better lookout.
My vision's better. You know that.
663
00:45:26,436 --> 00:45:27,838
That's it, that's it.
664
00:45:30,207 --> 00:45:32,910
-Got it!
-We're good, we're good.
665
00:45:35,280 --> 00:45:37,249
-What are you doing?
-Dude, I'm stuck!
666
00:45:38,650 --> 00:45:41,387
-Come on. I'm stuck.
-You seriously stuck?
667
00:45:43,689 --> 00:45:44,724
Don't!
668
00:45:46,125 --> 00:45:47,627
Dude, here she comes! Help!
669
00:45:48,495 --> 00:45:50,029
Get it!
670
00:45:57,538 --> 00:45:59,540
Hold on, hold on. I gotta get--
671
00:45:59,774 --> 00:46:01,342
Okay, okay.
672
00:46:03,912 --> 00:46:05,414
-I got it, I got it.
-Help me!
673
00:46:05,647 --> 00:46:08,083
We'll spit on it.
You know, lubrication.
674
00:46:08,284 --> 00:46:10,119
-That's gross, dude!
-Okay, fine.
675
00:46:11,120 --> 00:46:13,455
-Here she comes.
-Spit! Spit!
676
00:46:15,692 --> 00:46:19,396
Good news. I talked to my supervisor
and he said I could give you...
677
00:46:19,596 --> 00:46:22,199
-...the address after all.
-That's great.
678
00:46:23,533 --> 00:46:25,470
But the bad news is...
679
00:46:26,303 --> 00:46:29,307
...I'm gonna have to
confiscate your pinky.
680
00:46:45,358 --> 00:46:48,728
-All right, next stop, find my car.
-Good.
681
00:46:48,928 --> 00:46:52,333
Hey, check it out.
Totally gay Nordic dudes at 3:00.
682
00:46:59,975 --> 00:47:02,777
Wait. I got an idea.
683
00:47:02,978 --> 00:47:05,514
We just ask for
the continuum transfunctioner?
684
00:47:05,748 --> 00:47:08,885
-Yeah. It's that easy.
-Thank you both very much.
685
00:47:09,085 --> 00:47:12,755
-Hey, don't mention it.
-See you around the galaxy, dudes.
686
00:47:16,526 --> 00:47:17,862
Time to get your car.
687
00:47:33,179 --> 00:47:35,248
The creepy space nerds are back, dude.
688
00:47:39,719 --> 00:47:42,089
Dude, do not worry about them.
689
00:47:42,289 --> 00:47:44,558
Yeah, they're totally harmless.
690
00:48:03,813 --> 00:48:06,249
Now may I have
the continuum transfunctioner?
691
00:48:07,284 --> 00:48:08,585
Not quite yet.
692
00:48:08,952 --> 00:48:13,491
Would you consider giving it to me
while I continue to give you pleasure?
693
00:48:14,792 --> 00:48:15,826
Okay.
694
00:48:17,595 --> 00:48:19,864
-Wake up, dude.
-Oral pleasure?
695
00:48:20,298 --> 00:48:21,333
What?
696
00:48:22,934 --> 00:48:24,002
Nothing.
697
00:48:25,571 --> 00:48:27,873
Get dressed.
We're going to the big house.
698
00:48:32,245 --> 00:48:33,380
Nice outfits.
699
00:48:33,580 --> 00:48:36,583
They're not outfits.
They're interstellar jumpsuits.
700
00:48:36,817 --> 00:48:39,987
-Hey. Nice interstellar jumpsuits.
-Yeah.
701
00:48:48,429 --> 00:48:50,398
Wow! Nice place.
702
00:48:50,598 --> 00:48:52,234
Is this where Zoltan--?
703
00:48:52,935 --> 00:48:55,104
-Is this where Zoltan hangs out?
-No.
704
00:48:55,437 --> 00:48:57,239
This is his parents' house.
705
00:48:57,439 --> 00:48:59,008
We're going over there.
706
00:49:00,910 --> 00:49:02,746
-A barn?
-Is it red?
707
00:49:02,946 --> 00:49:05,315
-No.
-Then it's not a barn!
708
00:49:11,855 --> 00:49:15,160
-This is creepy.
-It's like a country music video.
709
00:49:15,627 --> 00:49:19,331
All right, that's far enough.
You, there. You, over there.
710
00:49:19,531 --> 00:49:21,333
No messing around.
711
00:49:22,368 --> 00:49:24,570
Okay, do you remember which one it is?
712
00:49:36,917 --> 00:49:39,253
-Here, let me show you.
-I'll do it.
713
00:49:39,453 --> 00:49:41,322
-It's that one.
-Hey, grab the--
714
00:49:43,825 --> 00:49:45,027
Keys.
715
00:49:47,229 --> 00:49:51,901
Grab the fire extinguisher
and bonk those dudes on the head.
716
00:49:55,105 --> 00:49:56,939
You want the fire extinguisher?
717
00:50:07,685 --> 00:50:10,155
-Enough!
-No, no, it's that one.
718
00:50:10,355 --> 00:50:11,690
Fudge!
719
00:50:28,842 --> 00:50:30,477
Cool.
720
00:50:30,678 --> 00:50:31,645
What, are you deaf?
721
00:50:31,879 --> 00:50:33,781
Hey, you don't have to be mean.
722
00:50:33,981 --> 00:50:35,883
How are we gonna get out of here?
723
00:50:54,238 --> 00:50:57,675
Your attention, please.
Our imperial commander, Zoltan...
724
00:50:57,908 --> 00:51:00,878
...requests your presence
in the officentary rec room...
725
00:51:01,078 --> 00:51:04,115
...for a Level 7 meeting. Over.
726
00:51:25,305 --> 00:51:27,274
It is now my great pleasure...
727
00:51:27,474 --> 00:51:32,413
...to present to you
our wise and powerful leader...
728
00:51:33,248 --> 00:51:35,751
-...Zoltan.
-Zoltan.
729
00:51:35,984 --> 00:51:37,319
Zoltan.
730
00:51:50,367 --> 00:51:52,402
The time has come, you guys.
731
00:51:59,310 --> 00:52:01,579
We are finally going to fulfill...
732
00:52:01,780 --> 00:52:04,516
...our prophecy of outer space travel.
733
00:52:04,716 --> 00:52:05,985
Zoltan.
734
00:52:06,185 --> 00:52:08,821
They laughed at us
when we said aliens existed.
735
00:52:09,021 --> 00:52:11,725
They mocked us when we wore
bubble-wrap jumpsuits.
736
00:52:11,925 --> 00:52:14,327
But who's laughing now, huh?
737
00:52:17,931 --> 00:52:19,934
I'll tell you who's laughing.
We are!
738
00:52:20,167 --> 00:52:21,234
Zoltan.
739
00:52:21,468 --> 00:52:24,739
Soon we will leave this lame planet...
740
00:52:25,039 --> 00:52:27,742
...and fly through outer space...
741
00:52:27,943 --> 00:52:31,012
...with cool aliens who like us.
742
00:52:31,246 --> 00:52:35,051
It is going to be awesome!
743
00:52:35,251 --> 00:52:36,552
Zoltan!
744
00:52:41,324 --> 00:52:44,594
That's them! They knocked us out
and stole our space suits!
745
00:52:45,362 --> 00:52:47,364
-No, we didn't.
-Yeah, you did!
746
00:52:47,698 --> 00:52:49,166
-No, we didn't.
-Yes, you did!
747
00:52:49,400 --> 00:52:51,202
-No, we didn't.
-Yes, you did!
748
00:52:51,402 --> 00:52:54,839
Hey, who you gonna believe,
us or them?
749
00:52:58,443 --> 00:53:01,280
So you're Jesse and Chester.
750
00:53:02,715 --> 00:53:05,351
I've been looking forward
to meeting you guys...
751
00:53:05,551 --> 00:53:07,754
...although, sorry
it had to be like this.
752
00:53:09,188 --> 00:53:10,290
-Chester!
-Jesse!
753
00:53:10,590 --> 00:53:12,259
-Wanda.
-Wilma!
754
00:53:12,693 --> 00:53:14,928
Normally, we wouldn't
resort to violence...
755
00:53:15,129 --> 00:53:18,299
...but we are dealing with
the continuum transfunctioner.
756
00:53:19,200 --> 00:53:22,637
If you don't deliver it to us,
your girlfriends are history.
757
00:53:24,273 --> 00:53:26,675
Don't worry, girls. We'll save you.
758
00:53:26,875 --> 00:53:28,677
Yeah, you can depend on us.
759
00:53:29,979 --> 00:53:31,413
Enough.
760
00:53:31,714 --> 00:53:36,586
Go now, and bring us
the continuum transfunctioner.
761
00:53:37,954 --> 00:53:41,224
And be quiet on your way out.
My parents are taking a nap.
762
00:53:51,937 --> 00:53:53,238
And then tell us where...
763
00:53:53,439 --> 00:53:56,475
-...the continuum transfunctioner is.
-And then?
764
00:53:56,809 --> 00:53:59,878
-And then we'll be able to go get it.
-And then?
765
00:54:03,417 --> 00:54:05,886
Can I get an order
of shrimp fried rice?
766
00:54:10,825 --> 00:54:13,361
-I don't see the car.
-It better be in there.
767
00:54:13,595 --> 00:54:15,229
I almost lost my pinky for it.
768
00:54:16,731 --> 00:54:20,569
Oh, man, I'm sensing something
very Canadian about this place.
769
00:54:27,009 --> 00:54:28,544
Plan B.
770
00:54:32,082 --> 00:54:33,383
All right.
771
00:54:34,117 --> 00:54:35,385
Are you ready?
772
00:54:35,585 --> 00:54:37,288
Let's do this.
773
00:54:37,688 --> 00:54:41,259
One, two, three.
774
00:54:47,432 --> 00:54:48,500
I'm okay. You okay?
775
00:54:50,769 --> 00:54:51,870
Shibby.
776
00:55:27,310 --> 00:55:30,547
Dude, it's a llama.
777
00:55:30,781 --> 00:55:33,951
It's not a llama. It's an ostrich.
778
00:55:34,152 --> 00:55:36,654
Okay, okay, okay...
779
00:55:36,888 --> 00:55:39,157
...very slowly, let's turn around...
780
00:55:40,091 --> 00:55:42,928
-...and go back the other way.
-Okay.
781
00:55:47,800 --> 00:55:48,968
New plan.
782
00:55:49,168 --> 00:55:53,707
We turn around again, very slowly...
783
00:55:53,940 --> 00:55:57,344
-...and go back the other way.
-Okay.
784
00:56:04,218 --> 00:56:05,887
They're everywhere.
785
00:56:08,890 --> 00:56:09,891
What now?
786
00:56:10,458 --> 00:56:14,229
Hey, I saw this thing
about ostriches on Animal Planet.
787
00:56:14,430 --> 00:56:16,332
-They're llamas, dude.
-No.
788
00:56:16,866 --> 00:56:21,004
What you're supposed to do
is stand very still...
789
00:56:21,204 --> 00:56:24,307
...and eventually,
they'll get bored and go away.
790
00:56:29,246 --> 00:56:30,614
I think it's working.
791
00:56:38,857 --> 00:56:40,659
Stupid llamas!
792
00:56:43,162 --> 00:56:44,397
Chester!
793
00:56:48,701 --> 00:56:50,403
Just get in this car!
794
00:56:52,506 --> 00:56:53,774
Go, go!
795
00:56:55,943 --> 00:56:57,611
What do ostriches eat?
796
00:56:57,812 --> 00:56:59,180
-Why?
-Well...
797
00:56:59,380 --> 00:57:01,349
...if they eat peanuts...
798
00:57:01,549 --> 00:57:04,186
...we can just throw a peanut
and they'll go away.
799
00:57:04,586 --> 00:57:08,490
-We don't have any peanuts.
-Weak! We're screwed!
800
00:57:17,935 --> 00:57:19,903
They're leaving. It worked.
801
00:57:20,136 --> 00:57:21,538
What worked?
802
00:57:21,738 --> 00:57:23,307
Whatever we did!
803
00:57:40,326 --> 00:57:43,596
Now may I have
the continuum transfunctioner?
804
00:57:44,864 --> 00:57:46,332
Not quite yet.
805
00:57:46,767 --> 00:57:47,968
Please?
806
00:57:51,772 --> 00:57:53,107
Scary dream, huh?
807
00:57:53,308 --> 00:57:55,510
What's up? My name is Mark.
808
00:57:56,911 --> 00:58:00,015
-Where are we?
-You're in the punishment room.
809
00:58:00,249 --> 00:58:03,452
This is where he likes to keep
the ostrich poachers.
810
00:58:03,786 --> 00:58:06,155
-Poachers?
-Yeah, that's right.
811
00:58:06,356 --> 00:58:09,959
I've been in this cage for three
years, five months, and 17 days...
812
00:58:10,193 --> 00:58:11,728
...but who's counting?
813
00:58:13,797 --> 00:58:14,765
How's my breath?
814
00:58:17,601 --> 00:58:18,769
That bad, huh?
815
00:58:18,969 --> 00:58:22,506
Where you guys from?
I'm from Connecticut. Hi. Mark.
816
00:58:22,807 --> 00:58:23,775
There we go.
817
00:58:24,809 --> 00:58:26,778
Chester! Get him off!
818
00:58:27,145 --> 00:58:28,446
Pierre!
819
00:58:30,048 --> 00:58:33,119
No, that's not what it looks like.
Maybe a little bit.
820
00:58:33,353 --> 00:58:35,321
-How was your nap?
-Shut up!
821
00:58:35,688 --> 00:58:39,225
Okay. Well, somebody
sure is a Grumpy Gus today.
822
00:58:41,895 --> 00:58:46,300
In France, when a man is caught
poaching ostriches...
823
00:58:46,501 --> 00:58:51,272
...we shave his head, and we make him
run through the fields.
824
00:58:51,472 --> 00:58:53,141
Oh, God, that's the good part.
825
00:58:53,341 --> 00:58:55,544
Once you have seen this...
826
00:58:57,579 --> 00:58:59,882
...you are never quite the same.
827
00:59:00,249 --> 00:59:03,119
-Okay.
-Tell me about it. I used to model.
828
00:59:03,687 --> 00:59:06,022
Lucky for you, I am an honorable man.
829
00:59:06,423 --> 00:59:08,191
A what? I'm sorry?
830
00:59:08,592 --> 00:59:10,861
I said, "I am an honorable man."
831
00:59:11,128 --> 00:59:13,364
I'm sorry, I-- "Honorgable"?
832
00:59:13,564 --> 00:59:15,199
-Honorable.
-"Honorgable."
833
00:59:15,399 --> 00:59:16,801
-Honorable.
-"Honorgable."
834
00:59:17,001 --> 00:59:19,270
-What are you saying?
-Honorable.
835
00:59:19,471 --> 00:59:21,673
I think you're trying
to say honorable.
836
00:59:21,874 --> 00:59:24,610
-Shut up!
-Hey! I'm sorry.
837
00:59:25,144 --> 00:59:28,647
All right, here it is.
I am going to ask you a question.
838
00:59:28,881 --> 00:59:31,384
If you get it right,
I will set you free.
839
00:59:31,951 --> 00:59:35,956
If you get it wrong, well,
you will be spending a lot of time...
840
00:59:36,189 --> 00:59:38,692
...with the ever-popular Mark.
841
00:59:40,127 --> 00:59:41,595
I can be very nice.
842
00:59:42,063 --> 00:59:44,365
All right. Here it is.
843
00:59:44,766 --> 00:59:47,435
What is the average running speed...
844
00:59:48,036 --> 00:59:52,641
...of a full-grown male
African ostrich?
845
00:59:52,875 --> 00:59:54,243
Pass.
846
00:59:54,977 --> 00:59:57,146
-Pass to me. I know it.
-Pass to Mark.
847
00:59:57,347 --> 01:00:01,484
You cannot pass! Shut up!
Do I have to hose you down again?
848
01:00:01,685 --> 01:00:02,886
Don't hose me!
849
01:00:03,086 --> 01:00:04,154
Maybe later.
850
01:00:04,488 --> 01:00:07,291
-Dude, we're dead.
-Hey, not so fast.
851
01:00:08,626 --> 01:00:12,397
The full-grown male African ostrich
or the Latin Struthio camelus...
852
01:00:12,897 --> 01:00:16,001
...can grow to an average size
of 6 feet, 6 inches...
853
01:00:16,235 --> 01:00:17,936
...and weigh from 225 to 350 pounds...
854
01:00:18,604 --> 01:00:21,874
...and can get up to an average speed
of 27 miles per hour.
855
01:00:22,041 --> 01:00:24,076
This is absolutely correct!
856
01:00:24,744 --> 01:00:25,745
Animal Planet.
857
01:00:26,012 --> 01:00:27,547
Well, I said, "Brown."
858
01:00:27,814 --> 01:00:30,651
Here, let me get you out
of this stinking cage.
859
01:00:31,552 --> 01:00:34,554
Oh, please forgive me.
Can I get you guys some beers?
860
01:00:34,788 --> 01:00:36,457
I'd like a near beer, please.
861
01:00:36,657 --> 01:00:37,625
Shut up!
862
01:00:37,859 --> 01:00:40,328
We just came about the car
you bought today.
863
01:00:40,528 --> 01:00:42,363
We wanted to get some stuff out.
864
01:00:42,563 --> 01:00:45,033
No problem. Right this way.
865
01:00:45,233 --> 01:00:49,104
-It was nice meeting you guys.
-Good luck with the modeling thing.
866
01:00:49,305 --> 01:00:52,509
You e-mail me, okay? FreakInCage.com.
867
01:00:58,181 --> 01:01:02,186
Sacre bleu, the car was here
this afternoon. It-- It--
868
01:01:02,553 --> 01:01:04,021
It just disappear!
869
01:01:04,355 --> 01:01:08,893
-How do you just lose a car?
-I'm so sorry, you guys.
870
01:01:09,127 --> 01:01:12,831
-I feel terrible.
-All right, Pierre, just focus here.
871
01:01:13,432 --> 01:01:15,267
Was there anything in the car?
872
01:01:15,901 --> 01:01:17,303
No, nothing.
873
01:01:17,570 --> 01:01:20,940
Except, of course, for this.
874
01:01:23,476 --> 01:01:24,677
Dude!
875
01:01:39,894 --> 01:01:43,098
Dude, I'm having my next
birthday party here for sure.
876
01:01:43,299 --> 01:01:44,466
Yeah, me too.
877
01:01:49,139 --> 01:01:50,473
Cool.
878
01:01:51,007 --> 01:01:53,577
Excuse me. Can you tell me
where locker 206 is?
879
01:01:53,811 --> 01:01:55,379
Yeah, it's right over there.
880
01:01:55,612 --> 01:01:57,748
It's you guys!
Dude, you guys played...
881
01:01:57,981 --> 01:02:00,218
...an amazing round
of putt-putt last night.
882
01:02:01,386 --> 01:02:03,154
-We did?
-Oh, yeah.
883
01:02:03,789 --> 01:02:05,757
-Thanks, dude.
-Shibby.
884
01:02:06,825 --> 01:02:08,093
Here it is.
885
01:02:08,427 --> 01:02:11,798
-I sure hope my money's in there.
-Yep.
886
01:02:11,998 --> 01:02:14,434
-Who are you?
-This is my boyfriend, Patty.
887
01:02:14,634 --> 01:02:16,036
Nice to meet you.
888
01:02:16,336 --> 01:02:18,205
How do you keep popping up?
889
01:02:19,206 --> 01:02:22,376
Less questions,
more giving me my money.
890
01:02:25,980 --> 01:02:28,149
Well, I guess this is it.
891
01:02:28,449 --> 01:02:30,752
Yep. The moment of truth.
892
01:02:31,119 --> 01:02:35,124
It's been a long, strange trip, dude.
893
01:02:35,357 --> 01:02:37,326
It sure has, Jesse.
894
01:02:38,060 --> 01:02:40,530
Hey! I've got a plane to catch.
895
01:02:40,763 --> 01:02:42,665
Okay, okay, okay.
896
01:02:47,738 --> 01:02:50,241
Oh, my suitcase!
897
01:02:54,712 --> 01:02:57,349
Oh, my God! You guys are the best.
898
01:02:57,815 --> 01:02:59,684
Thank you so much.
899
01:03:05,057 --> 01:03:08,795
Thanks for your help, fella.
Good work.
900
01:03:11,898 --> 01:03:14,968
Are we supposed to be
grossed out by this, or...?
901
01:03:15,202 --> 01:03:16,904
I don't know.
902
01:03:17,605 --> 01:03:19,073
Bye.
903
01:03:21,041 --> 01:03:22,944
Look at this stuff.
904
01:03:23,745 --> 01:03:25,847
Captain Stu tickets.
905
01:03:26,314 --> 01:03:27,949
Awesome!
906
01:03:28,584 --> 01:03:31,053
Oh, jellybeans.
907
01:03:33,522 --> 01:03:35,257
No jellybeans.
908
01:03:36,525 --> 01:03:38,027
Cool straw.
909
01:03:38,895 --> 01:03:40,931
-I'm gonna keep this.
-Yeah.
910
01:03:54,279 --> 01:03:56,281
I don't see a
continuum transfunctioner.
911
01:03:56,514 --> 01:04:00,286
Wait a second. What do we know
about the continuum transfunctioner?
912
01:04:00,486 --> 01:04:02,955
It's a very mysterious
and powerful device.
913
01:04:03,155 --> 01:04:04,123
And?
914
01:04:04,357 --> 01:04:07,327
And its mystery
is only exceeded by its power.
915
01:04:07,560 --> 01:04:10,097
But has anyone ever said
what it looks like?
916
01:04:11,999 --> 01:04:13,067
No.
917
01:04:13,334 --> 01:04:14,635
They haven't.
918
01:04:25,915 --> 01:04:27,983
That was Jesse and Chester.
919
01:04:28,484 --> 01:04:31,521
They've got
the continuum transfunctioner!
920
01:04:33,323 --> 01:04:35,058
Quick! To my mother's minivan!
921
01:04:40,431 --> 01:04:42,033
That was Jesse and Chester.
922
01:04:42,266 --> 01:04:44,669
They've got
the continuum transfunctioner.
923
01:04:46,604 --> 01:04:48,907
Quick! To my step dad's pickup truck!
924
01:04:51,443 --> 01:04:53,845
I'm getting the hang
of this thing, dude.
925
01:04:56,782 --> 01:04:58,151
Yes!
926
01:04:59,919 --> 01:05:03,323
Oh, yes! I finally beat you!
927
01:05:04,057 --> 01:05:06,026
You. You're a competitor.
928
01:05:06,994 --> 01:05:10,464
Oh, boy. You got me the first nine,
but not number 10.
929
01:05:11,299 --> 01:05:12,299
Not gonna happen.
930
01:05:13,768 --> 01:05:15,403
-Final showdown time.
-Chester.
931
01:05:15,637 --> 01:05:17,105
-Jesse.
-Don't worry, girls.
932
01:05:17,572 --> 01:05:19,541
We're here to save the day.
933
01:05:20,008 --> 01:05:23,178
Quit it. These things are expensive.
934
01:05:24,079 --> 01:05:28,117
Enough! Do you have
the continuum transfunctioner or not?
935
01:05:29,152 --> 01:05:30,554
Right here.
936
01:05:31,387 --> 01:05:34,558
-Now release the girls.
-First give up the transfunctioner.
937
01:05:34,792 --> 01:05:38,696
-First release the girls.
-First give us the transfunctioner.
938
01:05:38,896 --> 01:05:40,264
Same time.
939
01:05:42,767 --> 01:05:43,902
Yes!
940
01:05:48,573 --> 01:05:49,842
There they are.
941
01:05:50,342 --> 01:05:53,612
Okay, stoners, where's
the continuum transfunctioner?
942
01:06:04,358 --> 01:06:05,960
Release dodo bird.
943
01:06:09,798 --> 01:06:11,599
-Tommy, you're such a jerk.
-Yeah.
944
01:06:11,900 --> 01:06:15,304
-That's our continuum transfunctioner.
-Well, now it's mine.
945
01:06:16,705 --> 01:06:17,973
Nerd.
946
01:06:22,812 --> 01:06:25,515
-Dude, let's get out of here.
-Yeah.
947
01:06:27,150 --> 01:06:29,720
Where is the
continuum transfunctioner?
948
01:06:29,954 --> 01:06:31,188
We don't have it.
949
01:06:31,388 --> 01:06:35,259
But we'd like you to meet
our girlfriends, Wanda and Wilma.
950
01:06:35,560 --> 01:06:36,661
We've already met.
951
01:06:36,895 --> 01:06:40,599
-Stay away from our boyfriends.
-You fake-breasted sluts.
952
01:06:42,367 --> 01:06:44,670
Okay, let's go this way.
953
01:06:46,639 --> 01:06:49,643
Halt. Where is the
continuum transfunctioner?
954
01:06:49,876 --> 01:06:52,212
You want to go talk
to that guy over there.
955
01:06:52,579 --> 01:06:54,113
Let the pleasure begin.
956
01:06:54,347 --> 01:06:56,550
That's not the
continuum transfunctioner.
957
01:06:57,084 --> 01:06:58,152
Of course, it is.
958
01:07:01,822 --> 01:07:03,791
Follow the kids.
Come on, follow them.
959
01:07:03,991 --> 01:07:05,927
Go, go, go.
960
01:07:19,809 --> 01:07:21,945
Nerd-bashing time.
961
01:07:22,412 --> 01:07:23,714
It's not our fault.
962
01:07:23,914 --> 01:07:24,982
It was them.
963
01:07:25,416 --> 01:07:28,252
Looking for a Smokey McPot.
964
01:07:28,452 --> 01:07:31,689
I have a delivery
for a Smokey McPot.
965
01:07:31,889 --> 01:07:34,426
-You ordered pizza?
-I figured we'd get hungry.
966
01:07:34,659 --> 01:07:36,895
Oh, no, it's you two!
967
01:07:37,563 --> 01:07:38,797
Look, I almost got it.
968
01:07:38,997 --> 01:07:42,902
You're really starting to irk me
with your Rubik's Cube fixation!
969
01:07:43,102 --> 01:07:44,571
Sweet!
970
01:07:57,184 --> 01:07:59,053
No wonder they're so impossible.
971
01:07:59,353 --> 01:08:02,023
You've activated the
continuum transfunctioner.
972
01:08:02,223 --> 01:08:03,458
What's going on?
973
01:08:03,659 --> 01:08:06,561
Once all five of the
dirugian crystals stop flashing...
974
01:08:06,795 --> 01:08:08,698
...the universe will be destroyed.
975
01:08:08,898 --> 01:08:10,132
How do you know?
976
01:08:10,332 --> 01:08:12,735
We intercepted
interstellar transmissions.
977
01:08:12,936 --> 01:08:14,971
-Zoltan.
-Nerds.
978
01:08:15,405 --> 01:08:16,607
Way to go, Chester.
979
01:08:16,840 --> 01:08:18,241
Sorry.
980
01:08:18,542 --> 01:08:20,678
You must give it to us
to deactivate it.
981
01:08:20,911 --> 01:08:23,247
We are the keepers
of the transfunctioner.
982
01:08:23,448 --> 01:08:25,683
They will use it
to destroy the universe.
983
01:08:25,884 --> 01:08:29,287
No, we are the keepers
of the continuum transfunctioner.
984
01:08:29,487 --> 01:08:32,591
-They want to destroy the universe.
-Stop copying us.
985
01:08:32,825 --> 01:08:34,860
-Stop copying us.
-Stop copying us.
986
01:08:35,127 --> 01:08:36,896
-Stop copying us.
-Bitch.
987
01:08:37,496 --> 01:08:40,934
Don't you guys remember?
We came to this planet last night...
988
01:08:41,167 --> 01:08:43,870
...to escape the clutches
of those evil space sluts.
989
01:08:44,071 --> 01:08:47,407
-We met you here.
-You gave us a ride to our spaceship.
990
01:08:47,608 --> 01:08:50,778
And we realized we'd lost
the continuum transfunctioner.
991
01:08:51,713 --> 01:08:54,315
Hurry, there's only three
blinking lights left.
992
01:08:54,949 --> 01:08:55,917
Bye-bye, universe.
993
01:08:56,151 --> 01:08:59,321
He's right, dude.
We're gonna make the wrong decision.
994
01:08:59,822 --> 01:09:03,459
You know what, dude? I refuse
to let us go down in history...
995
01:09:03,692 --> 01:09:05,961
...as the dudes
who destroyed the universe.
996
01:09:06,162 --> 01:09:09,666
How do we find out
which ones are the true keepers?
997
01:09:09,900 --> 01:09:12,870
It's simple. We ask them
a question about last night...
998
01:09:13,070 --> 01:09:16,240
...that only the ones that are
telling the truth would know.
999
01:09:16,440 --> 01:09:18,409
But we can't remember a thing.
1000
01:09:20,211 --> 01:09:21,979
-You gotta hurry.
-Not now, Jeff.
1001
01:09:22,247 --> 01:09:23,281
Zip it.
1002
01:09:26,218 --> 01:09:29,288
If we really did give one of you guys
a ride last night...
1003
01:09:29,521 --> 01:09:31,490
...then you'll know
the answer to this.
1004
01:09:34,060 --> 01:09:35,528
Hurry!
1005
01:09:36,763 --> 01:09:39,800
What score did we get
on the 18th hole...
1006
01:09:40,034 --> 01:09:42,403
...of the miniature golf course
last night?
1007
01:09:49,411 --> 01:09:50,678
You got a hole in one.
1008
01:09:50,912 --> 01:09:53,148
That is...
1009
01:09:57,119 --> 01:09:58,087
...correct!
1010
01:10:08,299 --> 01:10:10,768
Deactivation complete.
1011
01:10:19,644 --> 01:10:23,048
Wait. If you guys don't remember
a thing about last night....
1012
01:10:23,248 --> 01:10:26,185
-How do you know they told the truth?
-It's simple.
1013
01:10:26,852 --> 01:10:27,820
The pudding!
1014
01:10:31,090 --> 01:10:33,393
-You guys had a plan!
-And it actually worked.
1015
01:10:38,398 --> 01:10:39,566
For the love of God!
1016
01:10:42,737 --> 01:10:45,106
Wow! Morphing is cool!
1017
01:10:52,814 --> 01:10:56,686
Whoa! That is one
super hot giant alien!
1018
01:11:01,692 --> 01:11:02,826
Just go!
1019
01:11:03,060 --> 01:11:04,695
-Chester!
-Jesse!
1020
01:11:09,801 --> 01:11:11,236
That is amazing!
1021
01:11:11,436 --> 01:11:15,307
Yeah. Those are the biggest
hoo-hoos I have ever seen.
1022
01:11:17,876 --> 01:11:19,411
Do you spit or swallow?
1023
01:11:19,645 --> 01:11:20,746
Swallow!
1024
01:11:25,818 --> 01:11:29,523
We will now use the power
of the continuum transfunctioner...
1025
01:11:29,723 --> 01:11:31,826
...to banish you
to Hoboken, New Jersey.
1026
01:11:37,398 --> 01:11:40,869
-What are we supposed to do now?
-I think we run, dude!
1027
01:11:51,848 --> 01:11:53,683
Boy, those guys are in a hurry.
1028
01:12:03,061 --> 01:12:07,198
-I want to go on that ride, Daddy.
-Me too, son. Me too.
1029
01:12:22,882 --> 01:12:25,719
-What do we do with this?
-You've gotta activate...
1030
01:12:25,919 --> 01:12:28,255
...the photon accelerator
annihilation beam!
1031
01:12:28,456 --> 01:12:32,293
-The what?
-They said, "the photon accelerator...
1032
01:12:32,493 --> 01:12:35,830
...annihilation beam," you fool!
1033
01:12:36,365 --> 01:12:37,733
Hurry, activate it, dude!
1034
01:12:42,571 --> 01:12:44,640
-This is it!
-Thanks, Captain Obvious!
1035
01:12:46,776 --> 01:12:47,744
I can't reach it!
1036
01:12:47,977 --> 01:12:50,414
Deep in your consciousness,
you must look!
1037
01:12:50,981 --> 01:12:53,851
Concentrate on
the knowledge inside, you must!
1038
01:12:54,518 --> 01:12:56,554
Does he have to talk like that?
1039
01:12:56,821 --> 01:12:58,289
I like the way he talks.
1040
01:13:04,830 --> 01:13:07,399
Chimpanzees often use sticks
as crude tools.
1041
01:13:07,700 --> 01:13:09,134
I've got it!
1042
01:13:15,741 --> 01:13:17,243
Oh, boy!
1043
01:13:22,516 --> 01:13:23,951
We saved the universe!
1044
01:13:24,151 --> 01:13:25,753
The big bitch is dead!
1045
01:13:40,269 --> 01:13:44,274
Damn! Now those are
some big-ass panties.
1046
01:13:45,041 --> 01:13:49,480
-Honey, could you give me a hand?
-No, Tommy. I've found somebody else.
1047
01:13:55,554 --> 01:13:57,122
Jesse and Chester saved us.
1048
01:13:57,355 --> 01:14:00,325
You'll still take us
to outer space with you, right?
1049
01:14:00,559 --> 01:14:03,595
There is a party in the Crab Nebula.
You can come too.
1050
01:14:04,196 --> 01:14:05,164
Crab Nebula!
1051
01:14:10,837 --> 01:14:13,807
-Here you go.
-Thanks for your help.
1052
01:14:14,007 --> 01:14:17,845
-Jesse and Chester.
-You've ensured the universe's safety.
1053
01:14:18,045 --> 01:14:19,480
Well, that's cool and all...
1054
01:14:19,680 --> 01:14:21,983
...but, dude, where's my car?
1055
01:14:22,250 --> 01:14:24,085
You mean you guys don't remember?
1056
01:14:24,285 --> 01:14:27,722
-Damn, you were wasted last night.
-Now, we must eliminate...
1057
01:14:27,956 --> 01:14:29,558
...knowledge of this encounter.
1058
01:14:30,259 --> 01:14:32,328
No. We have so many questions...
1059
01:14:32,561 --> 01:14:34,630
...we want to ask you
about the universe.
1060
01:14:35,064 --> 01:14:37,634
-Like what?
-Well....
1061
01:14:41,772 --> 01:14:43,941
Have you guys
ever been to Uranus?
1062
01:14:44,175 --> 01:14:45,643
Nice!
1063
01:15:00,259 --> 01:15:02,762
-Morning, guys.
-Morning, Gene.
1064
01:15:05,565 --> 01:15:06,900
We'll go to the twins'.
1065
01:15:07,100 --> 01:15:09,470
-And then?
-Then we'll give them their gifts.
1066
01:15:09,670 --> 01:15:11,805
-And then?
-We'll apologize for the house.
1067
01:15:12,039 --> 01:15:13,974
-And then?
-We get our special treats.
1068
01:15:14,174 --> 01:15:16,211
-And then?
-Dude, that's really annoying.
1069
01:15:16,444 --> 01:15:17,611
Sorry.
1070
01:15:17,845 --> 01:15:19,180
Dude, where's my car?
1071
01:15:22,050 --> 01:15:23,185
Dude, where's my car?
1072
01:15:24,052 --> 01:15:25,554
Where's your car, dude?
1073
01:15:29,359 --> 01:15:31,160
Dude, there's your car.
1074
01:15:36,367 --> 01:15:38,335
"I heart you."
1075
01:15:38,936 --> 01:15:41,739
You guys are great boyfriends.
1076
01:15:43,207 --> 01:15:46,878
-And we have something for you too.
-A very special treat.
1077
01:15:47,679 --> 01:15:49,247
Shibby!
1078
01:15:50,582 --> 01:15:51,550
Ta-da!
1079
01:15:52,050 --> 01:15:54,320
We sewed the names on ourselves.
1080
01:15:54,887 --> 01:15:56,355
Wow.
1081
01:15:57,190 --> 01:15:58,157
Put them on.
1082
01:16:04,965 --> 01:16:06,433
You guys look great.
1083
01:16:09,837 --> 01:16:11,405
In berets?
1084
01:16:12,206 --> 01:16:13,308
What are these?
1085
01:16:14,109 --> 01:16:16,011
More gifts.
1086
01:16:18,146 --> 01:16:20,750
-They're beautiful.
-Where did you guys get these?
1087
01:16:21,417 --> 01:16:22,384
This...
1088
01:16:22,618 --> 01:16:24,053
...place.
1089
01:16:24,988 --> 01:16:26,489
-Wow.
-Me first.
1090
01:16:27,757 --> 01:16:29,859
"Thanks for helping
to save the universe.
1091
01:16:30,093 --> 01:16:32,596
Hope your girls like these gifts.
You will. "
1092
01:16:32,963 --> 01:16:35,699
How wasted were we last night?
1093
01:16:41,306 --> 01:16:43,842
-Sweet!
-Dude!
1094
01:16:57,958 --> 01:16:59,526
-Is anyone hungry?
-Yeah.
1095
01:16:59,894 --> 01:17:02,363
-I could go for Chinese food.
-Sounds great.
1096
01:17:02,563 --> 01:17:03,531
Sweet!
1097
01:17:09,437 --> 01:17:12,073
-My back itches, dude.
-Jesse, you got a tattoo.
1098
01:17:12,307 --> 01:17:13,976
Oh, my God. So do you, Chester.
1099
01:17:14,209 --> 01:17:16,612
-No way. What's mine say?
-"Dude."
1100
01:17:16,812 --> 01:17:18,514
-What about mine?
-"Sweet."
1101
01:17:18,714 --> 01:17:20,817
-Yeah, but what does mine say?
-"Dude"!
1102
01:17:21,050 --> 01:17:22,619
-What about mine?
-"Sweet."
1103
01:17:22,852 --> 01:17:25,622
I know, they're sweet,
but, dude, what's mine say?
1104
01:17:25,822 --> 01:17:26,790
"Dude"!
1105
01:17:27,024 --> 01:17:29,026
-What about mine?
-"Sweet"!
1106
01:17:42,441 --> 01:17:44,076
I can do sexy.
1107
01:17:45,344 --> 01:17:47,413
How do you keep popping up like this?
1108
01:17:50,283 --> 01:17:52,919
Come on, this isn't fair.
They're mooning us.
1109
01:17:53,320 --> 01:17:54,555
Sweet, dude.
1110
01:17:54,755 --> 01:17:55,923
It's good, right?
1111
01:18:00,027 --> 01:18:01,128
-Sweet!
-Dude!
1112
01:18:01,362 --> 01:18:04,032
-I am fun-loving. I like charades.
-Shut up!
1113
01:18:04,433 --> 01:18:05,867
Go ahead and laugh.
1114
01:18:08,904 --> 01:18:10,405
Hold on a second.
1115
01:18:25,055 --> 01:18:26,057
Zoltan!
1116
01:18:37,903 --> 01:18:38,738
That's a keeper.
1117
01:18:39,105 --> 01:18:40,106
Fingers crossed.
1118
01:18:43,008 --> 01:18:44,177
I got it!
1119
01:18:44,844 --> 01:18:46,479
You want a piece of this?
1120
01:18:48,648 --> 01:18:50,350
-Dude!
-Sweet!
1121
01:18:50,651 --> 01:18:53,521
-And then?
-And then we went and--
1122
01:18:53,787 --> 01:18:56,891
-And then?
-Got those sweet jumpsuits so we--
1123
01:18:57,125 --> 01:19:00,061
-And then?
-Then we went and-- I'm losing it.
1124
01:19:00,328 --> 01:19:02,597
I am fun-loving, without my clothes.
1125
01:19:02,798 --> 01:19:06,803
The platonic--
The gray thing, dummy!
1126
01:19:07,103 --> 01:19:08,471
-Dude!
-Sweet!
1127
01:19:14,844 --> 01:19:17,347
Can we cut?
1128
01:19:17,648 --> 01:19:19,250
We gotta cut. We have to.
1129
01:19:19,750 --> 01:19:20,851
You have to cut.
1130
01:19:21,085 --> 01:19:22,386
You guys have to cut.
1131
01:19:23,054 --> 01:19:24,121
Cut!
1132
01:19:26,091 --> 01:19:27,359
Punk-ass kids!
1133
01:23:02,300 --> 01:23:03,635
And then?
83100
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
