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Come on, please.

Get in line.

Yes. Right.

All correct, sir!

SOLDIER: All correct, sir!

Will you carry on, please?

SOLDIER: All correct, sir!

Go ahead, please!

Come over here!
Come over here!

Come on, come over this side!

They scared their pants off!

You ugly, mugs!

Uh, are you quite sure
this is the place?

DRIVER: Yes, sir.

Oh, um...

Uh, well, um, you wait here
and I'll make certain.

Uh, and mind my back!
Yes, sir.

Uh, could...

Could anybody direct me
to Major Burnside, please?

I don't understand at all.

I don't understand.

I'm sorry Lieutenant, sir.
Do not be angry.

We are all very happy
to see you.

Too happy,
forgive us
our happiness.

The Major has taken this
house for his office.

Thank you.

How many languages
do you know?

Uh, Latin and Greek, sir.

Ancient Greek?
Yes, sir.

Very useful.

That's what they said to me
at school 'cause, uh,

Greek is the best
of the Russian alphabet

and of course,
Latin is the root of
all the Latin languages.

You surprise me.

Where should I
put these, sir?
Over there.

And you do understand
the Mediterranean Languages?

Well, school French, sir.

France happens to be
on our side!

Though sometimes
General de Gaulle
seems to forget.

And a few words
of Spanish, sir.

Spain is neutral.
Any German or Italian?

If it was a priest, sir,
I could talk to him
in Latin.

I'll remember that.

My advice to you, Mr...
What is your name again?

Uh, Pilkington, sir.

As a linguist
hold your tongue.

I fail to understand how
you ever could have been

assigned a military government.

General Bewley thought
it would be good for me, sir.

Oh, the General did, did he?
Good for me too, I suppose.

Do you realize that
there are over four million
displaced persons

in Europe at this moment?

Right here, we have Italians
in the Russian front.

We have Ukrainian women
who were slave labor
for the Nazis.

Poles who were forced
to mine salt in Bavaria
and God knows what.

Have you seen
any action?

No, I haven't,
sir, not really.

Really? Well,
you may yet.

Just because we've beaten
the Nazis, it doesn't mean
the war's over.

We may divide Austria
temporarily with the Russians,
but that can change.

You don't think,
Major Burnside...

We're not paid
to think.

At the moment
the official policy is

we are Uncle Joe Stalin's
firm friends.

That is to say
we are firm
but friends.

Yes, but I understood
our object was to...

My object is to get
out of here as soon as
I possibly can

and back to some
proper soldiering
with my regiment.

I shall have
you replaced,
of course.

We have to end
the chaos here,
not add to it.

We have to interrogate
that rabble in every
language under the sun.

Sort out their papers
and then send them on
to the final screening

either by the Americans
at Linz or the Russians
at Freistadt.

HQ did ask me to tell you,
sir, that they just haven't
another man to spare.

Sergeant Woody!

Sir!
Please, accompany
Mr. Pilkington

to supervise the digging
of a camp latrine.

May I make
a suggestion, sir?

You've suggested
quite enough.
Carry on.

But, there was, uh,
this, um, strange man.

What man?

When I came in the camp,
there was this man, uh...

Well... well, he could speak
every language, sir.

Did you ask
his name?
No, sir.

Sergeant Woody,
general fall in,
identification parade.

Sir!

Come on, you bleeding lump,
get a move on!

Come on! Come on,
move it there!

Get in those lines.

Come on, come on,
come on!

You heard what I said,
that means like
the bleeding devil!

MAN: Come on,
break it up.

Come on!

Come on get a move on there.
Join the line.

Come on, it's not a bleeding
Sunday School outing, move!

Hey, wake up.
Come on, come on!
Go on, open your legs.

What, no, I ain't going
to rape you lovey,
down upfront.

Elfie take care of her
will you? She's a bit
frightened of me.

Come on, granddad,
it's your birthday!

SOLDIER: Come on,
bring the rest of them!

SOLDIER 2: Come on then!

Come on, mate,
straight line up.
Form three.

Come on, let's get
your bleeding fingers out.

MAN: Run, run!

SOLDIER: Come on. Come on!

Come on, up! Up there.
That's it. Up there.

Not the Bakerloo line,
not the Piccadilly line,

just a plain single
straight line.

Get a move on, chop-chop!
In the front!

Form threes, you bleeding...

Camp Parade present
ready for your inspection,
sir.

Parade, Sergeant Woody?
I don't see a parade.

Camp Refuse present
and ready for your
dispatch, sir.

Call them to attention.

Attention!

No, no, no!
Not like that.
Get back you...

Sergeant Woody,
leave it, leave it.
It's hopeless.

I just want to identify
one man to help us
get rid of them.

There is a man...

There is a man among
you who speaks
many languages.

I am offering a job,
a good job,

a responsible job.

I am looking
for an interpreter,
camp interpreter.

There will be
a cigarette allowance,
army rum.

Vodka!

If I don't find him,
it will take you all
twice as long to get home.

Sir... sir! That's him.

What is your name?
Janovic, Major sir.

What languages
do you speak?

Russian, Polish, Greek.

Hungarian, German.

Romanian,
Bulgar, Serbo-Croat.

Romany, Italian.

Some Arabic, some Yiddish,
a little Chinese.

Chinese?
Just in case.

Where did you learn
these languages?

Well, I've had to travel,
Major sir.

I want you to tell
them the camp rules.

All are free men,
so long as they stay here.

If they stay
they will be fed
and sent home quickly,

but if they move on,
they will probably starve
and may get shot.

Our patrols are
still hunting Nazis
in this area.

I'll tell them,
Major sir.

First of all, tell them
to fall out over there
and get their rations.

Yes, Major sir.

Can I have some food?
Thank you.

Bread?

Where are your papers?

I have no papers, Major sir.

That's a great
pity for you.

Well, I can't help you.

This is a clearing station,
not a rest home.

It's my duty to decide that
what's rule of thumb,

whether a man
goes to the Americans
or to the Russians.

But how?
It's a question of papers.

If you have papers,
it's very simple,

we send you
where you should go.

If you don't have them,
maybe you had some reason
for getting rid of them.

I lost them, Major sir.
An accident.
A horse ate my pack.

That's bad luck,
isn't it?

Where did you say
you were from?

Well, I was born
on a cart between
Tiflis and Tashkent.

My father,
he did many things
in many places.

I can tell you, Major sir,
we have to be very careful.

Any place I ever sit down
for a rest is on wheels.

You speak
English and Chinese,
you never wandered there.

Ah, they come to me,
Major sir.

An English woman,
a Chinese woman in Latvia.

Live with a new woman,
learn a new tongue.

It's better than Berlitz.

An English woman and you?

Well, I speak
English fine.

Seven English women.

Janovic, it really doesn't
matter very much

what lies you tell
about your past,

provided you are useful
in the future.

Now go see
Sergeant Woody

and get a clean uniform.

No badges, you're not part
of the British forces.

They say everywhere,
"Help a British man
and he helps you."

We have a saying
in Britain,

"He helps best
who helps himself."

Major sir,
I cannot help myself

to papers.

You're a rolling stone,
aren't you?

Where do you want to roll to?

West.
We have another saying,

"Join the army
and see the world."

Don't believe it.

I believe you,
Major sir.

So, I'll help you
very much
and you'll fix it

and I'll fix everything
here by the end
of the Summer.

They have
a beautiful saying
in Aytoska.

"When the first leaf falls,
all corn must be back
in the barn,

"and all men."

All these men will
get back in the barn
down the road right now.

The women
and children will be
in this house.

Fraternization will be
strictly forbidden.

I'll explain it,
Major sir.

Men over there.
Women and children
in here.

No contact. Official!

Do you really think you can
help me clear up this mess
before next winter comes?

By then, Major sir.

You'll need
more than tricks.

Go and report to
Sergeant Woody.

MAN: Come on,
hit it, man, hit it.

Can't, Corp, it's splitting,
isn't it?

Get another one then,
won't you?

That's ours.
David, Willie,
straight up there.

Go on, Bert.

More to the left. Right.
Up a bit more, up a bit.

Left. Left a bit.
That's lovely.

Do you mind?

That Alpen house is ours!

Alpenhaus,

Who do you think you are?
Catherine the Great?

Pissoffski!

Get off!
Get off!

Arbitration!

Willy, get the major
on the radio.

Bloody Ivans!

David.

Tacco.

Bloody Ivans.

Don't they have
no smokes?

They can't have
tobacco in Russia.

They just have
snow and wolves.

Where does it
come from then?

Yanks make tobacco
in tin cans.

We don't budge,

this building is
in the British zone
and that's that.

Janovic, stop
skulking back there,
come and interpret.

He says this is
the Russian zone
and that is that.

Well, tell him the Russians
are known for taking
what they want

without asking
or paying for it,

but this time
they don't get away with it.

He says,
"Let us negotiate."

Your interpreter,
major, is either
very bad or

too clever.

He doesn't translate,
he smoothes.

Why the hell didn't you say
you understood English?

You didn't ask me.

All right Janovic,
I'll do this.

There's no question
of negotiating, Captain,
we take the building.

"Take." How like
an imperialist power!

Don't ask, take!

We have
an armored brigade
ten miles away.

We have an infantry division
in Freistadt.

Is it worth it
for a ruin?
You answer.

Oh, be reasonable,
the man has allies.

For the moment

and only against
the Germans.

We do not move from what
is our zone by right.

Nor do we.

So, our division advances.

And our tanks.

If you had moved
your tanks to Austria
two years earlier,

many million Russians
wouldn't be
in their graves.

We were already fighting
on three fronts

and preparing
the Normandy invasion.

You didn't beat Hitler
on your own, you know!

I would give it to you,
you fool.

It's so, uh...

Worthless.

Worthless. Who cares?

But, our orders are
we keep everything.

And our orders are
we keep everything,
and I obey orders always.

You would.

Allies.

Sergeant Woody.
Fix bayonets.

Port arms.

The frontier is there.

Unfix bayonets.

You are useful, Janovic.

Well, a half is better than
a hole in the head.

She says you shall not
take her house.

Everybody's giving me
orders today!

Tell her this is war

and I have
the right to requisition
what I need when I wish.

The war is over,
is it not?

Everyone is expecting
our coming too.

Maybe I don't need
an interpreter after all.

I shall take the inn
if I need it.

But it is mine.
I keep it.

If I wish.

Nice work your major's
done here.

Of course, it was
all a bluff.

We are too small
to make decisions,

they have been
made at Yalta.

Yes, we're not too small
to make incidents, though.

It was a good solution,
you must admit.

Except for the owner of
the private property.

Oh, surely an English
Capitalist should care
about that.

In Austria?

No, the major thinks
all Austrians are Nazis
under their skirts.

They are easier to handle
if you can think that way.

Oh, one thing,
your interpreter,

who is he?

Well, we simply
don't know.

He just dropped down,
you know,
manna from heaven.

A man from Odessa,
judging by his accent.

Pilkington!

Awfully sorry.
Goodbye.

SOLDIER: Come on...

Wish you'd won the war,
then you'd be ushering us
back home, ho-ho!

Come on, that's it now.
Off you go.

Come on then,
you'll all get on.

SOLDIER: Upsidaisy.

Stop!
What's all the fuss?

Well, some are very happy
to go, Major sir,

but many of them say
they don't want to go

to the Russians
at Freistadt.

It's a mistake
they say.

They should go
to the American
clearing station at Linz.

I don't make mistakes,
the orders are
perfectly clear.

When in doubt,
displaced persons are returned
to their countries of origin.

They doubt,
Major sir.

I don't. Silence!

Quiet!

Go on, Janovic,
translate.

Well, he says I should go
to Russia too.

All aboard,
Sergeant Woody?

All present
and correct, sir.

Freistadt 24,
Linz seven.

All right, put an armed guard
on this one, two men
and fixed bayonets.

The Russians want
all their own back.
See that nobody skips.

Sir.

You heard the Major!
You and you, look sharp.

Any of those
sardines move,
use your can openers.

All right, lovey,
I'll have a nice hot
supper waiting for you.

Hey, Tedder! Pull your
bleeding finger out!

I must say, I wouldn't be
looking as sad as that
if I were going home.

Suppose you were
a collaborator
or a class enemy?

Suppose it was ten years
hard labor in a salt mine

waiting for you
at the other end,

would you be lining up
for your return ticket?

No, sir.

Must they go if they
don't want to, sir?

The high-ups drafted
the orders, I didn't.

PILKINGTON: But, I thought
we fought this war
for human rights

so that people could
choose what they wanted?

BURNSIDE:
What we fight wars for,
Mr. Pilkington,

does not necessarily
apply in peace.

I still don't see how
we can force people.

Obviously, I would rather
let everybody choose,

but I don't have the right
and I don't have the time.

One too many
for Linz, sir.

Only one?
Well, we're in
luck today.

The Pole says he has
an Austrian wife,

they will believe him
at Linz.

Why should they believe
him at Linz, I don't.

Where are his papers
to prove it?

His wife has the paper.

They were separated
in the bombing.

Let him wait here
till she finds him.

He is right,
he should wait.

BURNSIDE: I might have
wavered his case

if he hadn't tried
to sneak on the Linz lorry.

Put him under close arrest,
next lorry to Freistadt
march him off.

Come on, come on!
Come on, son.

MAN: Stop it.

BURNSIDE:
More and more arriving,

we just have to move them
more quickly that's all.

JOE: Come on,
up you get.

All right, Alvin?

Right, take it up.

I hope
you come back.

You can always come
and get me if I don't.

Not bloody likely.

WOMAN: Help me somebody!

Oh, strewth!
Some of them are glad
to get back.

Why don't we send
the Pole to Linz

and let him
explain there

and maybe
they'll let him
stay on.

I don't need the Americans
to settle my problems,
Mr. Pilkington.

I know they had God
and General Eisenhower
on their side,

but that doesn't make
all their decisions
holy writ.

Supposing he does
have an Austrian wife
after all?

Then the Russians
will undoubtedly
return him to us.

You know
they won't, sir.

They never send
anyone back.

You exaggerate.
Anyway, the orders
were drafted at Yalta

by Mr. Roosevelt,
Mr. Churchill
and Marshall Stalin.

Orders have to be obeyed
and I just hope that
if my best friend

had to be sent
to Freistadt,
I would send him there.

Janovic.

Maria.

Come on,
you horrors, stand to.
Major likes a smart man.

You've got a grouch,
don't slouch.

Right next gate,
in you go.

Smarten it out.

She says British
soldiers raped her.

She wants
two ration cards
and money.

God damn it,
we've only been here
five weeks.

Escaped prisoners
did it she says.

Oh, that's going
to be hard to prove
even when the baby's born

it's not going to come out
singing God save the King.

Give her
one ration card.

Well, one and a half.

Dismissed, next.

Right, next case,
forward march.
Up, up, up, up, up!

Oh, what a relief
to see you at last,
old chap!

I say, could I have
a chat alone with you,
old man?

Sir, if you please.

Anything you have
to say may be said
in front of my subordinates.

Where are your papers?

Actually,
I mislaid them.

Well, between gentlemen,

papers indeed!

This war has
substituted papers
for human decency.

I used to be at Trinity
before the war.

Perhaps you too
were at Cambridge?

I never went to
university.

I'm sure we have
mutual friends
from your school,

Eton is it?

Harrow?

Speak to Mr. Pilkington
about that,
that's more his line.

But surely, you know
Captain Reggie Lomax
of the Blues?

I was in a fighting regiment
not with a lot of fancy
polo players!

Now, stand up and get
to the other side
of my desk!

Now, what is your name
and what is your complaint?

Uh, Kerassy,
Count Istvan Kerassy.

How do you spell that?
It's all right. We have
his record here, sir.

I see you borrowed
a pot from my
cousin's family.

I never borrow,
I buy.

KERASSY:
Do you know, old chap,
I have a ghastly time

getting to the
West from Hungary.

My hunter broke a leg
and I had to walk,
simply miles.

You better pack
your saddle bags
and get ready to go back.

Major, it's a lie
I've worked
for the Nazis.

I infiltrated them
for the resistance.

When did you join
the resistance
in Hungary?

Last year.

Oh, the risks I ran.

Change sides
when we were winning,
did you? No papers,

Freistadt.
For God's sake,
old boy.

I am nobody's
old boy.

Next.

Next, next, next,
next, next.

I mean, how can he
possibly be so sure?

That's right, that's wrong.
Even the Almighty
would take longer.

Well, far worse
to rot here slowly,

better to get men
home quick

even if there are
some mistakes,

the major is very brave
to choose for us.

You're an expert
in hope, Janovic.

Look, Malik is
a happy man.

It's very good
for him here.

Ah, he says he got 15
new fleas today.

Look. Well, he's a master.

You know,
he had a very famous
flea circus in Zagreb.

You have to have
human fleas in Malik's tray,
you know.

Well, our new arrivals
have many.

You know, animal fleas
are not good

because they
haven't eaten
the right food.

For every flea for Malik
I pay one potato!

Here! Here, Malik.

You see, Malik is happy
to have a flea.

The man is happy
to lose a flea

and to have a potato.

Oh!

JANOVIC: You know why
the fleas do that?

'Cause a human hair
tied round their middle

keeps them in place.

Whenever they try
to hop away,

that makes the trick,
and it's funny.

Trying to escape
is funny.

But, Malik,
he is an inventor,
a genius.

He knows exactly
how to put a human hair
round their neck.

They can live only one week
like that, but what tricks!

The desperate
amuses man.

What funny
creatures we are.

It is wonderful.
This is the British zone.

MARIA: It's wonderful.

Do you want a beer, mister?
Very cheap.

Do you want a beer, Mister?
Very cheap.

Or Schnapps?

Yes, Schnapps!

Your German is
very good.

So is my English,
my priest teach me.

Vodka, mister?
No, no. Whiskey, mister.

It's, Vodka, comrade?

And what for Janovic?

Home.

That's easy to get.

If man will stay.

If a man can.

No more English.
Russian.

Ah.

Nothing old-fashioned
about good form,

particularly in
war time.

Most courage is really
a matter of form.

You don't run away
because it's bad form
in front of your friends.

I... I always think
that courage has
more to it than that.

Um, personal choice

against orders sometimes.

Uh, yes, bad form
but right.

That's very
idealistic.

Yes,
I know I'll never
make a good soldier

if I think like that.

I don't know.
The army is not against
a man having principles

or taking a chance,

provided it works.

To make a choice alone

against the rest.

I could tell you
a cautionary tale,

it never happened
of course.

But, like all stories
that never happened,

it happened
once upon a time.

There was an officer,
and one fine
winter's afternoon

not too very long ago,

he went for a stroll
all alone.

Ahead of him,
the Germans
held a bridge,

a small but desperately
important bridge.

It was mined, of course.

He strolled
towards it.

The officers
of his battalion
waved him back.

They didn't want him
to go it alone.

But, he thought this was
a chance worth taking.

After all, he was only
risking his own life

not the lives
of the whole battalion.

Besides, it was possible
that no one would
shoot at him.

Just one officer strolling
along all alone.

The Germans
covering the bridge
might hesitate,

wonder what
he was doing,

and give him a chance
to make a sudden dash,

get under the bridge
and cut the wires
leading to the charges.

It would be
the Victoria Cross
if he made it.

If not,
posthumous Victoria Cross.

There must have been, uh,

an old soldier
on that German
machine gun.

Fire first,
ask questions later.

He fired,

and the major never
made it to the wires.

Five machine gun bullets
hit him and the Germans

blew the bridge anyway.

He thought
he'd be a brave man

alive or dead.

He never realized
there could be a

an in between.

Um...

What happened to him, sir?

Oh, he lived
happily ever after.

It's the way these stories
always end, isn't it?

Yes, well, we better
turn in now I suppose.

We got a lot of work
to do tomorrow.

A lot of people
to help, sir.

A lot to do, yes.

Thank you, Francis.
Good night.

Good night, sir.

That story doesn't mean
you never should
take a chance.

If it's the right chance
to take, disobey.

If you can pay for it.

Bad luck for you Kovacs.
The CO had a roll call.

You know the rules,
no fraternization.

You're under arrest.

A wonder she didn't
give you a haircut

while you were sleeping,
eh, Samson!

Nazis, Nazis, Nazis!

JANOVIC: Nose.
MARIA: Nase.

Nos in Russian.

Ear.
Ohr.

Cheek.
Wange.

Scheka.

Chin.
Kinn.

Lip.
Lip.

In Russian, guby.

You must learn some Russian.

Russia may
take on Austria,
who knows?

I tell them,
I go with you.

Look, Maria,
I've only been west
as far as here.

I must see more.
Come with me.

If the Russians come
and take the inn from me,

I'll go with you.

But I do not go
until I must.

My father and mother
died here,

my husband lived here.

This is all I have.

I'm sorry, doctor,
there is no excuse

for Mr. Pilkington being late
for the morning schedule.

And Janovic,
where the hell is he?

He may think
he's indispensable.

Between you and me,
sir, he is.

So long as
he doesn't think he is.

He is chancing it
a bit though, sir.

I just checked the stores,
there's 60 blankets short.

Oh, well,
don't worry about it.

Those 60 blankets
are better used
by Janovic

than they would be just
sitting in our store.

Oh, that reminds me,
better get our stores
straightened up right away.

You know,
not too much,
not too little.

My spies tell me
the Brigadier is going to
come and inspect us.

We don't know
that of course.
Of course, sir.

I want this to look like
the best DP Camp
the British have ever had.

There won't be a hobnail
too many or too few, sir.

May even have to trade
with Janovic, sir.

I wouldn't trade Janovic
for a whole brigade
of heavy tanks.

We are going to
have a new arrival
in the camp.

Lord, what has he taken?

Maybe his cup of tea
didn't agree with him?

Don't be an idiot!
The man's taken poison!

Yes, sir.

Where's the doctor?

You'll have to get on
the blower in the office.

Don't seem
worth it really.

Poor sod's due
for Freistadt tomorrow
and he knows.

I'm sorry, Major sir.
Pardon. I'm delayed.

Evidently, confined
to camp for two days.

Of course, Major sir
except when I drive you
out of camp.

Of course.
Where were you?

I arrange
a recreation.

Not fraternization?

No, no,
not fraternization, sir.

No, I know the orders,
Major sir.

I do not fraternize,
I harmonize.

I hope you know
the difference.

There's a bad case
of fraternization
waiting for us right now.

March in Kovac,
Sergeant, will you?
Sir!

Prisoner and escort,
quick march!

Left wheel.
Left right, left right.

Right wheel.
Left right, left right.

March time! Halt!

Prisoner and escort.
Left turn.

Kovacs, sir.

Tell him that in spite
of the ban
on fraternization,

he was found in bed
with an Austrian woman.

I know that he's Hungarian,
so first truck to Freistadt
in the morning.

Komenski's dying, Giles,
he's taken poison.

We must have the doctor.

What the hell do you
think you're doing?

This is not
the officer's mess.

Stand to attention.
Salute. Call me sir!

Sir...

Komenski's
taken poison, we simply
must have the doctor.

Did you give an emetic?
No, sir.

Then go and do so!

Well, he'd rather die
than go to Freistadt.

Can't you possibly
send the doctor?

The doctor is
delivering a child.

Oh, mop up
your bleeding heart,
Mr. Pilkington.

Some die here,
some live.

I'll send the doctor
when he has a moment.

Put Kovacs under close arrest
until tomorrow morning.

Camp orders
must be obeyed.

Someone get me
an emetic.

Something to make
Komenski sick.

Mustard and salt
and some hot water,

and take it straight
to the guard, all right?

Don't worry, Mr. Lieutenant,
all can be fixed.

Even dying?

Especially dying.
Living is much harder to fix.

Just sign them
and all will be well.

These are three
blank passes to the cells,
these ought to be filled in.

Just sign and I'll
bring in the three kings
on their way east.

Ah, Tolya!

Next!

Twelve for Linz,
eight for Freistadt, sir.

Sir.

All right! Away.

Up!

Go on,
get a hold of that.

Janovic, I've just been
to the guard room.

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir?
There's a witch in there.

I know, sir.

I don't mean
a conjurer like you,

I mean a real witch
and she is killing
Komenski.

Well, she is
the local wise woman.

She knows all
the poisons here
and she uses them too.

If she kills him, well,
he is dead anyway
at Freistadt, isn't he?

And Kovacs,
he's just getting
married in his cell.

I mean, the Major
just won't allow that.

Pardon me,
Mr. Lieutenant.

The certificate
of marrying will be
dated two days ago.

I suppose I'd refuse
to sign the pass,

what would
the women do then?

Have another child
for Austria.

Do you mean,
a bastard?

Do you think Austria
will not need in ten years
many hands?

Hands do not need
to have the right father,

they just need to be there
to work the earth.

You mean you encourage
the men here and the

village women...

Oh, it's disgusting,
it's like animals.

In the country,
it's always like that.

If the major finds out

what they're doing to his
ban on fraternization,

I don't know...

They do not fraternize.
No, they do not fraternize.

They just sleep together.

Doesn't Major Burnside
need you in the afternoon,
Janovic?

I believe they say
in his country,

"What the Major does not know
will not hurt him."

Oh, spam, peaches.

Californian yellow cling.
It's all American.

Won't they miss it?

Nah, they wouldn't miss
a Liberty ship!

Where's the hard stuff?

This way.

Tolya! Tolya!

Vodka. Drinking up
his wages, eh?

MAN: You speak English now.

Let me help you.

He takes in the vodka
without reaching through
the pores of his skin.

He must have
alcoholic pores then.

Okay, Jano,
you got yourself
a deal, mate!

Very good produce.

American.

We do not have
meat like this
in Russia.

Take it.

I do not take.

I do not mean...
Yes, you do mean.

Because I am
a poor Russian.

Steady, Jano.

There's a bottle of joy
in your arms there.

You don't
want to drop it
on its head. do ya?

Major Russki,
you're on the wrong side
of the fence, aren't ya?

You wish to make
an official complaint?

Nothing said,
nothing seen.

That. That is what
I want.

Jeep?

Yes, a jeep.

The Jeeps,
Major sir, are fine.

Do you think I don't
believe the evidence
my own eyes?

I tell you
they're fine.

You gutted them.

It's Freistadt for you,
I'm going to drive
you there myself.

Well, what's wrong,
Major sir?

At my inspection
this morning,

there were parts missing
from every jeep.

Strange thing,
Major sir.

This afternoon,
the Americans in Linz

reported a shortage
of jeep parts.

Well, they have so much
they won't miss it.

You're intolerable,
you know?
Yes, sir.

Don't you ever anything
like this again.
Never, sir.

The trouble is.
you think you
run this camp.

No, No, sir, whatever I do,
you have the last blame.

Yes.

You'll want to hang on
to your spit, mate,

you'll be needing
that for your
bleeding toe caps.

Toe, spit.
Hut.

Boots, black,
for the use of.

MAN: Come on, lads.

Bloody bull.

Come on, jump to it,
I haven't got
much time left.

Now, lads,

when the Brigadier says
"not a bad turnout,"

of course, you look like
a bleeding shower

but Brigadiers are
a soft, daft lot you see,

so when Brigadier Bewley says

"Did anyone inform you
that I was coming here
on a snap inspection?"

What do you say?
ALL: No, sir!

SERGEANT: Private Amiss.
Sergeant.

Is that a mustache
or part of your breakfast?

It's a mustache, Sergeant.

Mm-hmm.

Two months going,
it looks like
a dandelion puff. Why?

Well, uh, my hair's
a bit bashful, Sergeant.

Bashful, eh, Laddy?
Well, I'm not, come on.

Off with that fuzz
at the double.

Brigadier will be
here any minute now.

Burnside. Does that name
mean anything to you?

Not a sausage, sir.

Well. hello, Allison!

Not going to get
lost this time, eh?

You know where
we're going?

DP Camp, sir.
Yeah, but which one?

Oh, Four B.
You know where that is?

It's where you put
the pin on the map
for it to be, sir.

I checked
the route, sir.

You navigate then.

Come on Allison,
let's get cracking.
That's it.

Left!

That's a bit
of a very propitious start,
is it? Come on, Allison.

That's backwards,
backwards, Allison.

That's it.

Burnside. Doesn't ring
a bell with you, eh?

No, sir.
Well, it does with me...

Bridges.

Bridges and Burnside,
like bread and butter
they go together.

That's it, Allison.
Pulling off nicely.

Left here!

DP, Camp Four B.

Looks like
a health resort!

Sergeant of the guard.

Turn out the guard!

Present arms.

Slope arms!

Guard ready
for your inspection, sir.

Huh, very good turnout,
Sergeant. Tell me did you
know I was coming today?

No, sir.
I'll say,

Captain, you'd better
get the Sergeant's recipe

for keeping trousers
permanently creased.

Patent that
and make a fortune.
Right, carry on, Sergeant.

Guard.

Major Burnside, sir.
Burnside, not
Bridge Burnside?

Not to my knowledge, sir.

Your visit is
a welcome surprise.

Welcome surprise
or well-prepared one?

A welcome one, Sir.

May I escort you
around camp?

Delighted, yeah.
Charming spot you got here.

Reminds me of Cumberland,
I've a cottage there.

Mr. Pilkington, sir.
Pilkington, very glad
to see you.

They all thank you, Major sir,
for making their stay here
so brief and so pleasant.

Oh, it's just a job.
New intake arriving, sir.

That's a very useful
fellow you've got
hold of there.

Yes, he was hard to find
and difficult to persuade.

My goodness me, good lord.
Very good, very good.

Oh, hello.
What's this, eh?

Arts and crafts
department?

Are we going to
have a concert?

Parade!

Parade!

Two paces! Right!

BURNSIDE: Off covers,
smartly, now!

Thanks.

Ah, potage paysanne.
Not bad, major.

Private Lennox was
a dishwasher
at the Savoy, sir.

Oh, good show.

Down here to
the right, sir.

Your sense of timing, major
is too perfect.

Thank you
very much, sir.

You'll have to order
something to go wrong

or else I'll give you
a black mark for finding
nothing to criticize.

You're too kind, sir.
Would you care to come
to the mess, sir?

Oh, thank you.

Thank you.
Thank you very much.

Well, Burnside,
you've done
a remarkable job.

My compliments.
Thank you
very much, sir.

I have missed
my regiment, sir.
If I could be posted back.

I was second in command
of the battalion when...
the... um...

Yes, well,
the fighting's over,
Burnside and...

Perhaps a battalion
in peacetime is too small
for a man of your talents.

I've never really thought
outside the regiment, sir.

If I could be
posted back.

I am not really
the administrator.

I don't care for being
a sort of British Gestapo.

I'm a plain
fighting soldier.

I hope this is
the last war, major.

Well, there've been enough
incidents with Russians

on the border
for me to think...

Oh, don't think that!

My goodness me!
The Russians are our allies.

There are no incidents
with them, only dialogues.

Oh, Pilkington, I saw
your father last week.

He's in great form,
sent you his, you know...

Oh, thank you, sir,
would you send him
back my, you know.

Yes, I know.

You'll be staying on at
the service of course,
it's in the family.

People with your background
should do pretty well.

Oh, thank you, sir. Um...

I shall be going back
to university
to study languages.

I've been told that
they're going to be most
important in the new Europe.

Oh, yes,
and in the new army,

we could use fellows
like you on the staff.

Well, no, sir.
Whatever my father
might say, uh...

I'm not really
cut out for fighting.

My dear, Pilkington
whoever joined
the army to fight?

WOODY: Turn out
the guard!

SERGEANT: Ten-hut!

Oh, Silly Billy,
Allison.

You didn't tip
Burnside off that I was
coming, did you, Roots?

No, sir.

When Burnside asked me
when you were coming,
I said Tuesday morning.

But it was a snap inspection,
you insisted

everything went as per normal.

Your future in the army
appears about as dim as
Major Burnside's.

I don't understand, sir.

Like Burnside,
you like to put on
a very good show.

Often too good a show.

He once tried to take
a bridge all alone.

A sort of Horatio
in reverse, if you know
what I mean.

Well, of course,
he didn't do it,
the bridge was blown up

and we lost some 200 men
crossing that river

when we might have taken
the bridge conventionally
with 20.

All the same, it was
a bloody brave show.

Brave? Show?

We needed that bridge
and the men alive.

Are their widows
going to thank him
for winning another

ribbon on his chest?

He made a very gallant...

Mistake.

And the Army, Captain Roots,
is worse than an elephant.

Not only does it never forget,

it never forgives.

Major sir,
I know you'll find out

what I do, so
I'll show you first.

Anna, thin for
British men.

Marta,
for Russian men.

What about the orders
against fraternization?

Oh, they do not
fraternize Major sir,
they just serve.

Food, drink.

Talk verboten!

What about the Russians
and British fraternizing?

There is the iron chain,
Major sir.

You decided on that.

So I did.

Can the...
Can the Austrians
come here?

Oh, anyone.
I call that democratic.

I call it
bloody cunning.

Sit down, Major sir.
Have a whiskey,
on the house.

Oh, no, thank you,
I can't condone that.

You've already fixed it
with the Russians.

For today, who knows about
tomorrow over there?

Major Burnside,
a good surprise.

A glass of vodka to our
glorious alliance. Vodka.

You make it
hard to refuse.

Come over to our side.

Let's shout
across the border.

So you don't mind drinking
in the same room
as your men?

We are the people's army,
Major. All are comrades.

Sheer hypocrisy.

What we call
the English disease.
Have another Vodka.

No, thank you.

Well, I must say it's
quite a little Shangri-La.

You wouldn't think
there's a war on.

There isn't now.

You call that peace?

KAMENEV: I hope we shall
cooperate forever.

I hope so too.

To test it, one request.

Yes?

Do you approve of this place?

I cannot approve.

In that case, if you have
no use for it,

surrender your half.

I surrender nothing,
particularly, war
department property.

Property means more
than your God to you,
capitalist swine!

Well, that's a laugh
from people who've
taken half of Europe.

Major, sir,
you'll not forbid.

The English had
an admiral once,
and when they flew a signal

he didn't approve of,
he put his telescope
to his blind eye.

But why bring
him here?

Hmm, he and I,
we work all right together.

And you must have
an English officer to
protect the Alpen House.

Of course,
there is Pilkington
but he is a boy.

If he is a boy,
I can manage.

I'll be jealous.

You know, I think
he is still a virgin.

Don't laugh,
he's lucky.

Nobody is still
a virgin who has lived
through a war.

What's wrong?
The distributor.
I'll fix it.

As always.

How long?
Half an hour.

While we are waiting
you can have a rest.

Oh, all right.
Be as quick as you can.

Hello.
Hello.

Uh, do you speak
English?

A bit.

Uh, may I help you?

Please.

Is it very hard
for you?

I live, which is
better than not.

Hey, what are you doing?

Ow!

Oh, gosh, I'm sorry.

It's all right.

Did I hurt you?
No.

I did.
It's nothing.

Terribly sorry.

It wasn't that sore.

I haven't played
in years.

I haven't too.

But you do
look like a boy.

Doing that with the...
what do you call them?

Pine cones.

Pine cones.

PILKINGTON: I saw you
before at the Alpen House.
Do you live there?

It's mine.
Oh.

May I come
and visit you again?

Do not fraternize,
your Major says.

Surely you obey
your major?

Well, he said that
I could disobey orders

if I thought
I ought and, uh,

seeing you,
I think I ought.

I must be going.

Uh, do you know Janovic?

Everybody knows Janovic.

May I come
and visit you?

May I?

If one of my men were
to walk in and find me...

If I weren't the Major
in command, would I be
where I am now?

No.

You're very
honest even when it
does you no good.

You want me
and you take.

I want the Alpen House
and I get.

Oh, the advantage
of having just a few

hundred words
of basic English.

No subtlety, no evasions.

And no love.

Oh, women are funny
that way.

You think you have
them for a moment
and then afterwards,

you might as well be
a stranger.

It is as though they were
ashamed of having shown you
they wanted you.

When we're making love
you want me, all right?

If I love a man,

I want to love him alone.

If I must love him,
how can I love him,

when I cannot choose?

Some women like
being persuaded.

Giles.
Hmm?

I do like you.

You help me,
you protect me

but it's only the war
makes me go with you.

In peace, I would have
still a husband.

In peace,
we would not be here.

It's peace now,
the war is over,
remember?

When I am posted
back to my regiment,
will you follow me?

Where to,
your Schloss?

You would think that.

No, not all officers
are lords!

Do you have
a country house?

No, you'd just get
a rented room
near the barracks.

When I retire,
a cottage no bigger
than this and half pay.

You'd get me, that's all,
and the army.

I never had any money,
I never will have any.

Soldiers are like bad luck.

People want to forget them,
once the horror's over.

I stay.

You couldn't
care for me enough?

I stay.

I can come and visit you
on my leave.

When you are not
the Major here,
why visit?

Perhaps for you,

I'd feel a man.

You're good to me,
Giles, very good.

But you are the Major
and you will go
where the army goes.

Jano?

You say you do not come.

Oh, the Major is busy,
he is having dinner
with the brigadier.

These mutts mean
business, sir.

I see it arrived.

You mean to say
you sent it?

Your office is not
in the chapel?

We're not always
as advertised.

No, it is our magazine.

And to what do I owe
the pleasure of this
invitation, captain?

Your interpreter, Major.

He's a useful man,
would you like to
borrow him?

Not to interpret.
Will you come inside?

Oh, that's very nice.
Spoils of war?

In your country,
I believe it's
a gentleman's game.

All Russians play.

Well, what about
my interpreter?

He's a deserter
from the Red Army.

His real name is Makarov.

Look.

That's him.

A deserter,
your Janovic.

He'll desert you too.

I don't think that's him.

He's too useful
to you, isn't he?

When was he supposed
to have deserted?

A week before
Janovic joined you.

Oh, after the war
was over.

Well, I call that
absent without leave,
that's not a very grave crime.

A deserter working
for the British,
that is a serious crime.

A political crime.

I've told you I don't
think it's him and you
don't want him anyway.

One man when you've lost
22 million dead.

Oh, no no.
You've had orders
from higher up.

You want to
embarrass us.

We want him back,

and our agreement with you is,
you must return all deserters

or there'll be trouble
for you, major.

A Russian deserter
running your camp.

I run my own show!

Then your honor as
a British officer, Major,

will make you
send him back to us
at Freistadt.

Freistadt!

For the journey.

I'll wait for you.

When I have
a real passport,

I'll come back to you

and we'll marry.

There'll be no
Burnside then.

I'm so sorry, Jano.

I understand.

The Majors,
they take
what you have,

but in peace
they can do nothing.

PILKINGTON:
Sharing the loot?

I was sent
to look for you
at the Alpen House.

I will not go back,
the Major will send me
to Freistadt.

I don't believe it.

It's true.

Jano must go away.

What happened?

The Russian soldier
drinking here
last night says

Captain Kamenev knows
the truth about me.

I am a deserter from
the Russian army.

A deserter?

You ran away
from your comrades
in battle?

Oh, no,
the war was over.

Maria.

Leave us.

Well, I'll

just stroll over there
and promise to join me,
Janovic.

Yes, Mr. Lieutenant.

You'll forget me.

Oh, no, I will not
forget you, Maria.

I'll come back.

Since the war began,

no one came back.

You must trust me, Maria.

Now you take me back.

I couldn't take you
back to camp
and Freistadt.

What about your
Major's orders?

Oh, damn Burnside
and his bloody orders!

You've aged,
Mr. Lieutenant,

and just as well.

You'd have used
that on me?

Oh, yes,
if I had to.

You don't mind killing
others to survive!

That's what being
a soldier means!

And I've fought and lived,

much longer than you.

You can help me
cross the border.

Help you desert again?
Save your own sweet hide?

You know why I deserted?
Because it's peace now.

We all fought the war,
we all knew why we fought

but now it's peace.

What do you do here?

Nobody asked you here.
Nobody wants you here.

You want to fight
peace with guns?

Go home soldier,
go home!

Fine words, Janovic.
Why don't you go home?

Oh, get out!
I'll give you 30 seconds.

Go on, get out,
you bloody gypsy!

How easy for you
to be the judge,

with your home,
money, rank.

But, if you have no home,
for what do you fight?

For your comrades.

And if your comrades
fight for Hitler,
like mine?

No.

Jano is a good man.

He showed me how to live
in a bad time.

Yes, but there's more
to life than just living.

There's...
There's just living.

And Jano made me
want to live.

MARIA: No!

In Russia,
they are good men.

They haven't seen
their wives for too long.

We are all lonely.

I too.

Sit with me.

My husband was
at Stalingrad.

I didn't send him there.

I didn't ask you here.

I shall order
the Alpen House
out of bounds.

Russians shan't come
to harm you.

Come still they do nothing.

Now we do nothing.

Nothing to do.

Stay on the British side.

Your major will
protect you.

He'll be going.

They will all be going.

And, Jano is gone.

Then perhaps, I...

Perhaps I could protect...

OFFICER: Papers!

Papers.

I have just shown
my passport.

You lost the war, Mac.

Herr Schneider,
what camp?

Last morning orders,

they've only just about
cleaned up here, now.

Quite satisfactory,
really.

About Janovic,
it was very convenient his
having escaped like that.

Well, we've just about
beaten winter to it.

Yes?

One last case, sir.
Who is it?

Mrs. Heidi Komenski,

and the Americans request
we give you every assistance

to find your
missing husband.

Komenski, Komenski?

I know who it is, sir.

The Pole who tried to
commit suicide.

We sent him half-dead
to Freistadt.

You wouldn't believe that
he had an Austrian wife.

Yes, I remember,
he had no papers.

He went to Freistadt.

Freistadt.

Sergeant Woody,
detail a jeep and escort her

to the checkpoint
at the frontier.

Yes, sir.

I knew we should have
believed him.

With all those thousands,
there had to be one
or two mistakes.

The point was to get them
sorted out quickly.

Individuals don't matter
a damn in war,

there's no person
except in peace.

Oh, she'll meet up
with him again.

They're very very fair
at Freistadt.

People just go on
about it too much.

Yes?

The missing man returned
to our jurisdiction, sir.

Where'd you find him?
OFFICER: Headed
for Switzerland, sir.

He had a pretty good passport,
but not good enough.

Well, that was
bad luck, Janovic.

Thank you.

I forgot to tell you,
Major sir,
I need a holiday

so I went to
ski in St. Moritz.

Why didn't you trust me?

I'd already made out
your papers for Linz

and a dossier saying
how much you'd helped us.

Then you had to
make a run for it.
Why, man?

You do know,
I never let my personal
feelings interfere

with anything
I think is right.

Now, everybody knows you.

So long as you were anonymous,
you were safe as a house,
you didn't exist.

In fact, I was
protecting your safety.

Why didn't you trust me?

I'm sorry, Major sir.

In Yiddish they say,

it's easier to know
ten lands than one man.

You've got
the dossier, sir.

He could still stand
a chance at Linz.

By all the rules
in the book,

you should go
to Freistadt.

Get me Burnside
on the phone.

Sir.

Yes?

Hello, Burnside?
Sorry to disturb you,
old boy.

About that chap
of yours, Janovic,

the one the Americans
picked up, you know,

the chap the Russians
thought was Makarov,
the deserter.

They're going to some
bother about him,

an excuse for trouble.

Look here, I've had
a strict directive
from the War Office.

No incidents in our zone
at any price.

Listen, Burnside,
he's to be handed
over at once,

that's an order!

Let me know when you've
carried it out.

Better get going.
Good luck.

Yes, Major sir.

Major sir.

Please tell
Lieutenant Pilkington

how much I missed
saying goodbye to him.

I'll give him
your regards.

All right,
Sergeant Woody.

All right!

Major Burnside,
I shall not forget you.

Goodbye, Janovic.

Maria, live!

Live, Maria, live!

He's already gone,
you said 9 o'clock.

I wanted to say
goodbye to Janovic.

I'm sorry,
I was in such a hurry,
I'm improperly dressed.

Oh, don't worry about it.
The job's over.

You'll be in civilian
clothes soon anyway.
Your heart's not in this.

JANOVIC: Hey! Hey!

The lorry!

It's turned up
for Freistadt.

What, you mean
you handed him over
to the Russians?

Stay where you are,
that's an order!
I'll stop the lorry.

Sargent Woody has orders
not to stop for anybody.

Oh, I'll stop it!
Don't you dare
disobey me!

He'll be all right, you know.
He's a very clever man.

People like that
get along in
any society.

They're too useful
to liquidate,

and he's
a professional
survivor.

Yes, but you said...
I said what,
Mr. Pilkington?

Well, Janovic thought
he was going to Linz.

Lucky for him, poor chap.
We didn't want him
to resist now, did we?

But, he's a deserter,
they're bound to shoot him.

I doubt that.

That's the trouble
with all you young officers,
you jump to conclusions.

How many thousands
have been through this camp
since you've been here?

And how many
important ones politically?

Maybe the Russians planted
Janovic on us as an agent,
did you think of that?

When it gets down
to dirty politics

then soldiers are
just paid to obey,
that's all.

Oh, God, to get back to
clean fighting

instead of this
trading in flesh.

He simply
wanted to live.

Don't we all?

Oh!

How can...

You!

Your pass, sir.
Oh, look here,
take this.

Hey! Halt!

Stop!

It's done, sir.

So, you packed him off
to Freistadt, good.

Yeah, oh, hold on,
Major Burnside,

there's a posting
come through for you.

Could you get me
that posting
for Major Burnside?

Just hold on, will you?
I'll read it back to you.

I'm sorry, sir.
I have ordered more
of your blend from Fortnum's.

Yeah, come on,
hurry up, Roots.

Um, yes, it's, uh,
it's bad luck, Burnside.

You've been posted
to Indonesia.

Another camp.

Well, you've put up
such a terribly
good show here.

I'm afraid there's no
question of your rejoining
your regiment.

I'm terribly sorry.

Do come along and have
a drink before you go,
won't you?

Bye.

You sent him back?

Of course,
what did you expect?

Jano said you would.

Uh, well, Jano was
always right.

I had hoped that
Major Burnside would...

No one can hope
with Burnside.

You see,
I could have gone
after him sooner and

stopped the lorry
and helped him to escape.

And I didn't.

I didn't say
a damn thing!

I'm just like
every other bloody Nazi.

Oh, I did nothing,
Mein Herr.

Nein, I was just
obeying orders.
Not guilty!

Ah, guilty.

Now, you know
why we all do nothing,

and live.

And let the living die.

Bloody, hypocritical,
lying bastard!

May I have a word, sir?

What is it?

Well, I'd just
like to say, sir,

now that the camp's
closing down

and all packed up.

It's, uh...

It's been a privilege.

And, um...

You're a bloody
fine soldier, sir.

Thank you, Tom.