Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:09,242 --> 00:00:10,310
[theme music]
2
00:00:10,410 --> 00:00:13,346
ANNOUNCER: "The Dick Van Dyke Show,"
3
00:00:13,446 --> 00:00:22,689
starring Dick Van Dyke, Rose Marie, Morey Amsterdam, Larry
4
00:00:22,789 --> 00:00:25,525
Matthews, and Mary Tyler Moore.
5
00:00:28,828 --> 00:00:29,963
All right, how's this?
6
00:00:30,063 --> 00:00:30,997
Woof, woof, woof.
7
00:00:31,097 --> 00:00:32,031
Well, that's better.
8
00:00:32,132 --> 00:00:33,566
At least you're getting closer.
9
00:00:33,666 --> 00:00:35,969
Boy, if Alan ever comes up with a dog for a guest star
10
00:00:36,069 --> 00:00:38,004
again, I'm gonna bite him.
11
00:00:38,104 --> 00:00:39,305
All right, all right, down, boy.
12
00:00:39,406 --> 00:00:40,573
Good dog. Good dog.
13
00:00:40,673 --> 00:00:41,608
Good dog.
14
00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:43,643
Shall I throw you a bone?
15
00:00:43,743 --> 00:00:47,313
Why, you want to get rid of your head?
16
00:00:47,414 --> 00:00:49,115
Don't tell me Alan wants the script.
17
00:00:49,215 --> 00:00:51,184
Of course, and so does Pally's trainer.
18
00:00:51,284 --> 00:00:53,253
You mean that dog has script approval?
19
00:00:53,353 --> 00:00:55,722
No, they ran out of newspaper.
20
00:00:55,822 --> 00:00:56,890
Where's Rob?
21
00:00:56,990 --> 00:00:58,725
He's outside pacing.
22
00:00:58,825 --> 00:00:59,759
Outside?
23
00:00:59,859 --> 00:01:01,628
Mel, he just had to get out.
24
00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:04,731
It's very tough writing jokes for a dog, especially
25
00:01:04,831 --> 00:01:06,666
one who's a dramatic actor.
26
00:01:06,766 --> 00:01:07,567
Hey, fellas.
27
00:01:07,667 --> 00:01:08,568
Oh hi, Rob.
28
00:01:08,668 --> 00:01:09,903
Did you come up with any ideas? - Yeah.
29
00:01:10,003 --> 00:01:11,337
Yeah. All right, what, what, what?
30
00:01:11,438 --> 00:01:13,006
Well, look, Mel, I haven't talked this over
31
00:01:13,106 --> 00:01:14,140
with Buddy and Sally, so it's gonna
32
00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:15,275
be in a kind of rough form.
33
00:01:15,375 --> 00:01:16,709
Oh, I'd rather not show anything
34
00:01:16,810 --> 00:01:17,777
to Alan that's unfinished.
35
00:01:17,877 --> 00:01:19,079
Why, he sees you all the time.
36
00:01:19,179 --> 00:01:20,814
Oh, come on.
37
00:01:20,914 --> 00:01:22,282
Rob, what's the idea?
38
00:01:22,382 --> 00:01:24,551
Well, look, we all know that Pally
39
00:01:24,651 --> 00:01:26,252
is one of the most beautiful and smartest dogs
40
00:01:26,352 --> 00:01:27,821
in the whole world.
41
00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:29,422
Now what if-- and now this has been done before-- but what
42
00:01:29,522 --> 00:01:31,391
if we go on the premise that we all agree Pally is
43
00:01:31,491 --> 00:01:32,792
smart and beautiful and everything,
44
00:01:32,892 --> 00:01:36,196
but she wasn't always that smart or that beautiful.
45
00:01:36,296 --> 00:01:38,298
Well, what is it an idea or an apology?
46
00:01:38,398 --> 00:01:42,569
No, I say we do our own version of "Pygmalion."
47
00:01:42,669 --> 00:01:43,503
"Pygmalion?"
48
00:01:43,603 --> 00:01:44,838
Do you think it'd work with a dog?
49
00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:46,406
Why not? It was great with pigs.
50
00:01:46,506 --> 00:01:48,641
Ha ha.
51
00:01:48,741 --> 00:01:51,077
I think it's a fabulous idea, Rob, really.
52
00:01:51,177 --> 00:01:52,679
What's so fabulous about it?
53
00:01:52,779 --> 00:01:53,746
It's a classic.
54
00:01:53,847 --> 00:01:56,216
They based "My Fair Lady" on it, stupid.
55
00:01:56,316 --> 00:01:57,283
Well, what do you think?
56
00:01:57,383 --> 00:01:59,052
I agree with you and Sally.
57
00:01:59,152 --> 00:02:02,522
The idea's good and Buddy's stupid.
58
00:02:02,622 --> 00:02:05,291
But I think we're going to have trouble with Pally's trainer.
59
00:02:05,391 --> 00:02:06,960
I don't think they'll allow us to ugly him up.
60
00:02:07,060 --> 00:02:08,094
Oh, I know they won't.
61
00:02:08,194 --> 00:02:09,629
Yes, Rob, listen, to make it work,
62
00:02:09,729 --> 00:02:12,365
you gotta find the ugliest, stupidest dog in the world.
63
00:02:12,465 --> 00:02:13,233
Ha ha!
64
00:02:13,333 --> 00:02:14,634
That's right.
65
00:02:14,734 --> 00:02:15,335
Right?
66
00:02:15,435 --> 00:02:17,270
[whistles] Here boy.
67
00:02:17,370 --> 00:02:18,171
Come on, boy.
68
00:02:18,271 --> 00:02:20,206
Come on, boy.
69
00:02:20,306 --> 00:02:21,574
What's he got out there?
70
00:02:21,674 --> 00:02:25,378
I don't know, but whatever it is, it's stupid.
71
00:02:25,478 --> 00:02:27,313
Whatever it is, it's ugly.
72
00:02:31,184 --> 00:02:32,218
You gonna bring that thing in here?
73
00:02:32,318 --> 00:02:33,119
Sure, I am.
74
00:02:33,219 --> 00:02:34,053
Come on, boy.
75
00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:34,988
Thattaboy.
76
00:02:35,088 --> 00:02:36,089
Nice boy.
77
00:02:36,189 --> 00:02:37,390
Thattaboy.
78
00:02:41,961 --> 00:02:44,964
That's the most absurd looking animal I've ever seen.
79
00:02:45,064 --> 00:02:45,865
What is that?
80
00:02:45,965 --> 00:02:46,833
That-- that-- what?
81
00:02:46,933 --> 00:02:47,767
Try mutt.
82
00:02:47,867 --> 00:02:48,902
Mutt?
83
00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:49,969
Yeah, I got him at the dog pound.
84
00:02:50,069 --> 00:02:51,037
Isn't he ghastly?
85
00:02:51,137 --> 00:02:52,238
He's a stray.
86
00:02:52,338 --> 00:02:55,542
Stray nothing, he missed completely.
87
00:02:55,642 --> 00:02:57,777
I'll tell you something else, I'll never sleep on that couch
88
00:02:57,877 --> 00:02:58,978
again.
89
00:02:59,078 --> 00:03:01,681
I say we owe him something already.
90
00:03:01,781 --> 00:03:03,917
Rob, that is ugly.
91
00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:05,318
Yeah, that's why I got him.
92
00:03:05,418 --> 00:03:06,753
He's perfect for the sketch.
93
00:03:06,853 --> 00:03:08,821
Oh, I think I'd better check with Pally's trainer.
94
00:03:08,922 --> 00:03:11,324
I don't think they'll let that creature near her.
95
00:03:11,424 --> 00:03:13,226
With you here, this is a step up.
96
00:03:15,528 --> 00:03:18,197
Oh, I don't think he's that ugly.
97
00:03:18,298 --> 00:03:19,933
Now you take him and clean him up a little bit,
98
00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:24,103
you'd have a clean, ugly dog.
99
00:03:24,203 --> 00:03:25,505
Boy, that dog is so homely--
100
00:03:25,605 --> 00:03:27,040
Are you gonna make a joke right there?
101
00:03:27,140 --> 00:03:28,408
That was my sincere desire.
102
00:03:28,508 --> 00:03:29,809
Well, wait 'til she gets paper in the machine,
103
00:03:29,909 --> 00:03:31,244
because that's our sketch.
104
00:03:31,344 --> 00:03:33,813
You know, Rob, I still kind of feel sorry for him.
105
00:03:33,913 --> 00:03:35,281
You see that, fella?
106
00:03:35,381 --> 00:03:37,050
Even though you're funny looking, you're among friends.
107
00:03:37,150 --> 00:03:38,418
Look at that, he licked me.
108
00:03:38,518 --> 00:03:40,887
You better wash it off before the skin corrodes.
109
00:03:43,923 --> 00:03:46,259
As the curtain comes down, Alan wins his bet.
110
00:03:46,359 --> 00:03:47,827
Pally has won the award for the most
111
00:03:47,927 --> 00:03:48,895
beautiful dog in the world.
112
00:03:48,995 --> 00:03:50,463
Now we got a great sketch.
113
00:03:50,563 --> 00:03:51,464
Right.
114
00:03:51,564 --> 00:03:53,600
We'll need the closing line, though.
115
00:03:53,700 --> 00:03:54,534
I got it.
116
00:03:54,634 --> 00:03:55,501
I got it.
117
00:03:55,602 --> 00:03:57,503
"You can't tell a book by its cover.
118
00:03:57,604 --> 00:03:59,772
You can't tell a dog by its coat.
119
00:03:59,872 --> 00:04:01,641
But you can tell your sister anything."
120
00:04:01,741 --> 00:04:03,610
[laughs]
121
00:04:04,744 --> 00:04:06,746
I'm laughing, and that doesn't make any sense.
122
00:04:06,846 --> 00:04:09,983
Well, before they realize that, we'll be off the air.
123
00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:10,950
[dog barks]
124
00:04:11,050 --> 00:04:14,187
Hey, he likes it, you see?
125
00:04:14,287 --> 00:04:16,222
Done, done, done.
126
00:04:16,322 --> 00:04:17,223
There we are.
127
00:04:17,323 --> 00:04:18,558
Alan's gonna love it.
128
00:04:18,658 --> 00:04:21,260
And old Horrible here was a great inspiration.
129
00:04:21,361 --> 00:04:22,528
Hey, maybe we should keep an ugly dog
130
00:04:22,629 --> 00:04:23,663
around here all the time.
131
00:04:23,763 --> 00:04:26,899
We don't need him, we got Mel.
132
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:27,934
Oh, gesundheit.
133
00:04:28,034 --> 00:04:29,035
Hey, Rob, I'm going home, right?
134
00:04:29,135 --> 00:04:30,169
All finished.
135
00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:31,571
Yeah, me too.
136
00:04:31,671 --> 00:04:33,006
Good night, Rob. Good night, Buddy.
137
00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:33,906
Good night, Horrible.
138
00:04:34,007 --> 00:04:35,141
Good night, Sal.
139
00:04:35,241 --> 00:04:36,342
Wait a minute, Sal, I'll go with you.
140
00:04:36,442 --> 00:04:37,610
Good night, Rob. Good night, Horrible.
141
00:04:37,710 --> 00:04:38,645
Good night.
142
00:04:50,957 --> 00:04:51,858
Good night, Horrible.
143
00:04:58,598 --> 00:04:59,699
Good night, Horrible?
144
00:05:03,503 --> 00:05:05,204
Hey, Rob, I just thought--
145
00:05:05,304 --> 00:05:07,206
Yeah, I just thought, too.
146
00:05:07,306 --> 00:05:10,376
Hey, fellas, I just thought--
147
00:05:10,476 --> 00:05:12,478
how can you work with a dog all day
148
00:05:12,578 --> 00:05:14,914
long and then leave and forget he's here?
149
00:05:15,014 --> 00:05:17,350
I don't know, but three out of three people do it.
150
00:05:20,553 --> 00:05:22,388
I kind of assumed that maybe Mel would make
151
00:05:22,488 --> 00:05:23,423
some arrangements or something.
152
00:05:23,523 --> 00:05:24,857
Well, he didn't.
153
00:05:24,957 --> 00:05:27,960
We can't just go leave the poor guy here all alone.
154
00:05:28,061 --> 00:05:30,697
Well, Rob, we can't stay here all night and sit with him.
155
00:05:30,797 --> 00:05:33,299
Well, that takes care of the can'ts, now let's look at the--
156
00:05:33,399 --> 00:05:34,801
[sneezes] --at the cans.
157
00:05:34,901 --> 00:05:36,035
Bless you.
158
00:05:36,135 --> 00:05:37,437
Hey, why don't you just send him back to the pound?
159
00:05:37,537 --> 00:05:38,671
Well, we can't.
160
00:05:38,771 --> 00:05:40,106
It's closed for one thing, besides we
161
00:05:40,206 --> 00:05:41,574
need him for rehearsal first thing in the morning.
162
00:05:41,674 --> 00:05:42,909
Well, get him a nice dish of water.
163
00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:45,845
Oh, a dish of water is not very much company.
164
00:05:45,945 --> 00:05:47,780
So put a fish in it.
165
00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:50,717
Look, you guys, I'd take him home if I could, but I can't.
166
00:05:50,817 --> 00:05:52,685
You know, dogs do that to me, some of 'em.
167
00:05:52,785 --> 00:05:55,855
I thought I was catching a cold, but it's him I'm aller--
168
00:05:55,955 --> 00:05:58,958
[sneezes] I'm allergic to, that's who.
169
00:05:59,058 --> 00:06:00,293
I can't do it.
170
00:06:00,393 --> 00:06:02,061
I can't even sleep in the same house with him.
171
00:06:02,161 --> 00:06:03,696
Well, how about a kennel?
172
00:06:03,796 --> 00:06:06,833
Rob can't sleep in a kennel.
173
00:06:06,933 --> 00:06:08,901
Well, we can't go calling kennels this time of night
174
00:06:09,001 --> 00:06:10,002
anyway.
175
00:06:10,103 --> 00:06:11,571
Why don't we chip and send him to a hotel?
176
00:06:11,671 --> 00:06:12,972
Ah, they won't take him, he's got no luggage.
177
00:06:16,175 --> 00:06:18,211
All right, I'm it.
178
00:06:18,311 --> 00:06:19,212
Sorry, Rob.
179
00:06:19,312 --> 00:06:20,246
All right, good night.
180
00:06:20,346 --> 00:06:21,581
So what am I gonna say to Laura?
181
00:06:21,681 --> 00:06:23,549
Honey, guess what I'm bringing home tonight?
182
00:06:23,649 --> 00:06:24,751
Oh, that's no good.
183
00:06:24,851 --> 00:06:25,852
Why not?
184
00:06:25,952 --> 00:06:27,120
You don't know what you're bringing home.
185
00:06:37,897 --> 00:06:39,599
Rob.
186
00:06:39,699 --> 00:06:41,200
Why are you coming in this way?
187
00:06:41,300 --> 00:06:42,401
Hi, honey.
188
00:06:42,502 --> 00:06:43,903
I had to put something in the garage.
189
00:06:44,003 --> 00:06:45,338
Well, then why didn't you come in through the garage?
190
00:06:45,438 --> 00:06:47,106
Gee, you're making an awful mess.
191
00:06:47,206 --> 00:06:49,142
Well, the garage door is covered with grease
192
00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:50,443
and junk and everything.
193
00:06:50,543 --> 00:06:53,246
So I had to put the thing out on the patio.
194
00:06:53,346 --> 00:06:54,480
What thing?
195
00:06:54,580 --> 00:06:56,415
[sneezes] I tried to call you, honey.
196
00:06:56,516 --> 00:06:57,350
You catching a cold?
197
00:06:57,450 --> 00:06:58,351
No, no.
198
00:06:58,451 --> 00:07:00,186
Oh, I was over at Millie's.
199
00:07:00,286 --> 00:07:03,723
I wanted to call you and tell you I was bringing a dog home.
200
00:07:03,823 --> 00:07:05,925
A puppy?
201
00:07:06,025 --> 00:07:07,126
Hardly.
202
00:07:07,226 --> 00:07:08,427
Well, what kind of a dog?
203
00:07:08,528 --> 00:07:11,130
That hasn't been established yet.
204
00:07:11,230 --> 00:07:13,232
Rob, we decided that when we got Ritch a dog,
205
00:07:13,332 --> 00:07:14,233
it would be a puppy.
206
00:07:14,333 --> 00:07:15,434
Honey, this isn't for Rich.
207
00:07:15,535 --> 00:07:16,702
We're using it on the show.
208
00:07:16,803 --> 00:07:18,204
Oh, well, why are you leaving it outside?
209
00:07:18,304 --> 00:07:19,138
Well--
210
00:07:19,238 --> 00:07:20,139
[gasps]
211
00:07:21,174 --> 00:07:22,809
That's why.
212
00:07:22,909 --> 00:07:23,576
What is that?
213
00:07:23,676 --> 00:07:25,378
That is Horrible.
214
00:07:25,478 --> 00:07:29,749
I know, why are you bringing him?
215
00:07:29,849 --> 00:07:31,350
Oh, well, honey, I didn't want to.
216
00:07:31,450 --> 00:07:32,718
Wait a minute, Horrible.
217
00:07:32,819 --> 00:07:35,555
I didn't want to, ask somebody about bringing
218
00:07:35,655 --> 00:07:37,557
Buddy and Sally had airtight alibis?
219
00:07:37,657 --> 00:07:38,825
Oh, yeah, better than usual.
220
00:07:38,925 --> 00:07:40,760
Well, I can't say I blame them.
221
00:07:40,860 --> 00:07:42,728
Hey, over here, Horrible.
222
00:07:42,829 --> 00:07:44,597
Yeah, he usually doesn't look this ugly.
223
00:07:44,697 --> 00:07:48,434
He got a little wet coming in from the car.
224
00:07:48,534 --> 00:07:49,936
Oh.
225
00:07:50,036 --> 00:07:52,605
You know, there's something about rain on hair or fur.
226
00:07:52,705 --> 00:07:55,441
Mm-hmm, I've got an old beach towel here.
227
00:07:55,541 --> 00:07:56,843
You'll never be able to use it again.
228
00:07:56,943 --> 00:07:59,679
Well, we gotta get him dry, poor baby.
229
00:07:59,779 --> 00:08:02,148
Oh, honey, you're a good woman.
230
00:08:02,248 --> 00:08:05,117
Here you go, boy.
231
00:08:05,218 --> 00:08:06,118
[sneezes]
232
00:08:06,219 --> 00:08:07,386
That's right.
233
00:08:07,486 --> 00:08:09,055
Nice.
234
00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:11,557
[sneezes] Honey, you're gonna have to--
235
00:08:11,657 --> 00:08:13,025
Let Mommy do it, will you?
236
00:08:13,125 --> 00:08:14,393
Come here.
237
00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:16,162
Good boy.
238
00:08:16,262 --> 00:08:17,063
Here.
239
00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:19,899
He's nice, isn't he?
240
00:08:19,999 --> 00:08:24,837
Oh, Rob, has he been eating onions?
241
00:08:24,937 --> 00:08:28,140
Yeah, he grabbed Buddy's hamburger.
242
00:08:28,241 --> 00:08:30,443
Come on.
243
00:08:30,543 --> 00:08:32,011
You know, he can sleep over in the corner,
244
00:08:32,111 --> 00:08:32,945
I guess, for the night.
245
00:08:33,045 --> 00:08:36,148
We'll never use the corner again.
246
00:08:36,249 --> 00:08:37,116
RITCHIE: Mom!
247
00:08:37,216 --> 00:08:39,318
Just a minute, dear.
248
00:08:39,418 --> 00:08:41,954
Oh, Rob, we're gonna have a problem with Ritchie
249
00:08:42,054 --> 00:08:44,490
He's gonna take one look at him and fall in love.
250
00:08:44,590 --> 00:08:46,392
That ugly dog?
251
00:08:46,492 --> 00:08:47,894
Darling, when you were a boy, did you
252
00:08:47,994 --> 00:08:49,395
ever bring home a pretty dog?
253
00:08:49,495 --> 00:08:50,796
Never.
254
00:08:50,897 --> 00:08:53,165
That's right, pretty dogs don't need little boys.
255
00:08:53,266 --> 00:08:57,169
And this guy is lonely enough for a boy scout troop.
256
00:08:57,270 --> 00:08:58,638
Well, if Ritchie does want to keep him,
257
00:08:58,738 --> 00:09:00,373
you're the one who's gonna have to say no.
258
00:09:00,473 --> 00:09:01,607
Well, I'm not backing down.
259
00:09:01,707 --> 00:09:03,676
RITCHIE: Hey, mom, when can we eat?
260
00:09:03,776 --> 00:09:06,779
He'll just have to understand, that's all, honey.
261
00:09:06,879 --> 00:09:07,847
Mom!
262
00:09:07,947 --> 00:09:08,781
Uh.
263
00:09:08,881 --> 00:09:10,082
Wow.
264
00:09:10,182 --> 00:09:11,217
Now Rich--
265
00:09:11,317 --> 00:09:13,686
Rich, your father is allergic to that dog.
266
00:09:13,786 --> 00:09:16,455
He's here for the one night, and we cannot keep him.
267
00:09:16,555 --> 00:09:19,125
Good, he's funny looking and he stinks.
268
00:09:19,225 --> 00:09:20,126
Yuck!
269
00:09:23,329 --> 00:09:24,964
This corned beef is for you.
270
00:09:25,064 --> 00:09:27,400
Sorry, they forgot-- they forgot to put
271
00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:29,669
the Russian dressing on it.
272
00:09:29,769 --> 00:09:31,237
His corned beef?
273
00:09:31,337 --> 00:09:33,205
I thought the burger was his and the corned beef was yours.
274
00:09:33,306 --> 00:09:34,173
He had a burger yesterday.
275
00:09:34,273 --> 00:09:35,508
This one's mine.
276
00:09:35,608 --> 00:09:37,777
Buddy, dogs don't eat corned beef sandwiches.
277
00:09:37,877 --> 00:09:39,078
What makes you say that?
278
00:09:39,178 --> 00:09:42,014
Did you ever see a Collie with a heartburn?
279
00:09:42,114 --> 00:09:43,616
He happens to love delicatessen.
280
00:09:43,716 --> 00:09:44,917
He almost ate the delivery boy.
281
00:09:45,017 --> 00:09:47,219
Here you are, fella, right here.
282
00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:48,220
There you go.
283
00:09:50,790 --> 00:09:52,725
Look at that, he likes it.
284
00:09:52,825 --> 00:09:54,593
Sure, he likes it.
285
00:09:54,694 --> 00:09:57,430
Here you go, boy.
286
00:09:57,530 --> 00:09:58,631
What are you doing there?
287
00:09:58,731 --> 00:10:00,199
I'm giving him some milk.
288
00:10:00,299 --> 00:10:01,200
Milk with corned beef?
289
00:10:01,300 --> 00:10:04,370
That ain't kosher.
290
00:10:04,470 --> 00:10:05,338
Are you kidding?
291
00:10:05,438 --> 00:10:06,973
It's green soda or nothing.
292
00:10:09,208 --> 00:10:10,743
Rob, he's trying to kill that dog.
293
00:10:10,843 --> 00:10:13,579
No, he's trying to convert him.
294
00:10:13,679 --> 00:10:15,181
Rob.
295
00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:18,117
I hate to interrupt you in the middle of lunch, pal, but kill.
296
00:10:18,217 --> 00:10:20,486
Bad news, the "Pygmalion" sketch is out.
297
00:10:20,586 --> 00:10:21,420
Why?
298
00:10:21,520 --> 00:10:22,588
Alan loved it.
299
00:10:22,688 --> 00:10:24,557
No, Pally's no longer on the show.
300
00:10:24,657 --> 00:10:25,891
Don't tell me he didn't like the sketch.
301
00:10:25,992 --> 00:10:28,361
No, he didn't like Alan, he bit him.
302
00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:29,395
Is it serious, Mel?
303
00:10:29,495 --> 00:10:30,963
No, no, no, just a little nip.
304
00:10:31,063 --> 00:10:34,467
But Alan won't work with any actor who bites him.
305
00:10:34,567 --> 00:10:36,836
OK, group, how do we replace a dog?
306
00:10:36,936 --> 00:10:38,170
The problem's already been solved.
307
00:10:38,270 --> 00:10:40,506
He rented some children to sing to.
308
00:10:40,606 --> 00:10:41,574
You're kidding.
309
00:10:41,674 --> 00:10:42,908
No, no, no.
310
00:10:43,009 --> 00:10:43,876
No, he's going to put them around in a circle
311
00:10:43,976 --> 00:10:45,578
and sing camp songs to them.
312
00:10:45,678 --> 00:10:47,179
That's warm.
313
00:10:47,279 --> 00:10:48,848
Well, if that doesn't work, he could always bake an apple pie
314
00:10:48,948 --> 00:10:50,516
or dance with his mother.
315
00:10:50,616 --> 00:10:54,153
So I guess you better take your dog back to the pound.
316
00:10:54,253 --> 00:10:56,989
No, why don't we keep him and send you to the pound?
317
00:10:57,089 --> 00:10:58,290
They'll never know the difference.
318
00:10:58,391 --> 00:10:59,225
Oh, sure they will.
319
00:10:59,325 --> 00:11:00,359
The dog's got more hair.
320
00:11:03,362 --> 00:11:04,864
Sally!
321
00:11:04,964 --> 00:11:09,535
Mel, I just thought it would hurt less coming from me.
322
00:11:09,635 --> 00:11:10,736
Well, it didn't.
323
00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:17,076
Gee, I gotta take him back to the pound.
324
00:11:17,176 --> 00:11:19,111
I hadn't even thought about that.
325
00:11:21,847 --> 00:11:24,483
Gee, Rob, you really like that mutt, don't you?
326
00:11:24,583 --> 00:11:25,651
[sneezes]
327
00:11:25,751 --> 00:11:26,552
Bless you.
328
00:11:26,652 --> 00:11:27,853
Me too.
329
00:11:27,953 --> 00:11:30,489
I think this is the nicest dog I ever saw.
330
00:11:30,589 --> 00:11:31,757
Maybe we can wait till after lunch
331
00:11:31,857 --> 00:11:33,392
to take him back to the pound.
332
00:11:33,492 --> 00:11:35,261
That was a short romance.
333
00:11:35,361 --> 00:11:39,465
Well, I guess, Mel's right, but it's sad to take him back.
334
00:11:39,565 --> 00:11:41,467
Well, get it over with.
335
00:11:41,567 --> 00:11:42,401
Come on, Horrible.
336
00:11:42,501 --> 00:11:43,569
Let's go to the pound.
337
00:11:43,669 --> 00:11:44,804
Come on, Horrible.
338
00:11:56,315 --> 00:11:56,916
Good morning.
339
00:11:57,016 --> 00:11:58,050
What can I do for you?
340
00:11:58,150 --> 00:11:59,652
You guys called me this morning
341
00:11:59,752 --> 00:12:01,487
at the place about my pooch.
342
00:12:01,587 --> 00:12:04,190
Oh, yes, what was the name?
343
00:12:04,290 --> 00:12:05,424
Barton Mack.
344
00:12:05,524 --> 00:12:06,792
Mack.
345
00:12:06,892 --> 00:12:08,561
Where did you find her?
346
00:12:08,661 --> 00:12:10,396
Central Park, last night.
347
00:12:10,496 --> 00:12:11,730
Lucky she wasn't mugged.
348
00:12:11,831 --> 00:12:13,733
I'll get her.
349
00:12:13,833 --> 00:12:14,834
I'll be with you in a moment.
350
00:12:14,934 --> 00:12:16,702
Oh, thank you.
351
00:12:16,802 --> 00:12:19,438
Shoo, you got a heart of gold, right?
352
00:12:19,538 --> 00:12:20,673
What, me?
353
00:12:20,773 --> 00:12:22,274
When the average guy finds that dog,
354
00:12:22,374 --> 00:12:24,777
he runs in the opposite direction.
355
00:12:24,877 --> 00:12:26,679
Yeah, well, he's not exactly Rin Tin Tin.
356
00:12:26,779 --> 00:12:28,647
He's got a kind of a personality though.
357
00:12:28,747 --> 00:12:31,884
I can smell it.
358
00:12:31,984 --> 00:12:34,320
Well, I sure hope they find a good home for him.
359
00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:37,356
Yeah, it's a shame to have to croak any dog.
360
00:12:37,456 --> 00:12:39,892
Oh, it's a shame--
361
00:12:39,992 --> 00:12:40,893
what do you mean?
362
00:12:40,993 --> 00:12:41,927
What do you mean croak?
363
00:12:42,027 --> 00:12:43,562
Well, I mean put him to sleep.
364
00:12:43,662 --> 00:12:44,897
Bye bye, bow-wow.
365
00:12:47,399 --> 00:12:48,334
Well, why?
366
00:12:48,434 --> 00:12:49,235
Who?
367
00:12:49,335 --> 00:12:50,402
Well, they do.
368
00:12:50,503 --> 00:12:51,971
I mean, they keep him for a couple of weeks.
369
00:12:52,071 --> 00:12:54,507
If nobody claims him, they gotta.
370
00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:56,108
I mean, they don't wanna.
371
00:12:56,208 --> 00:12:58,711
But they get thousands of dogs.
372
00:12:58,811 --> 00:13:01,080
And him, he's asking for it.
373
00:13:06,852 --> 00:13:08,654
You mean, they just-- they just--
374
00:13:08,754 --> 00:13:10,022
There she is.
375
00:13:10,122 --> 00:13:13,592
Oh, oh, oh, Ronda, baby, you're all right.
376
00:13:13,692 --> 00:13:14,527
She's fine.
377
00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:15,594
She just had a big meal.
378
00:13:15,694 --> 00:13:16,595
Oh, thanks.
379
00:13:16,695 --> 00:13:18,731
Oh, Ronda, you're beautiful.
380
00:13:18,831 --> 00:13:20,232
Daddy's very angry at you.
381
00:13:20,332 --> 00:13:23,769
And if you ever run away again, Daddy's gonna spank you.
382
00:13:23,869 --> 00:13:25,004
Naughty, naughty.
383
00:13:27,573 --> 00:13:30,242
Well, good luck, pal.
384
00:13:30,342 --> 00:13:30,943
Yes, sir.
385
00:13:31,043 --> 00:13:32,211
Oh, Mr. Petrie.
386
00:13:32,311 --> 00:13:33,179
How is the show?
387
00:13:33,279 --> 00:13:34,847
Look, what are you gonna do to her?
388
00:13:34,947 --> 00:13:36,315
I don't understand.
389
00:13:36,415 --> 00:13:37,950
Well, that guy said if nobody claims them, you just--
390
00:13:38,050 --> 00:13:40,519
Oh, well, unfortunately that's the rule.
391
00:13:40,619 --> 00:13:43,489
Of course, if I had my way, I'd take them all home with me.
392
00:13:43,589 --> 00:13:45,524
Well, I have my way and nobody's
393
00:13:45,624 --> 00:13:46,759
going to put my dog away.
394
00:13:46,859 --> 00:13:47,960
Come on.
395
00:13:53,832 --> 00:13:55,868
You better come to, you're my dog.
396
00:14:06,612 --> 00:14:07,513
Hi, Rob.
397
00:14:07,613 --> 00:14:08,881
Hi, Horrible.
398
00:14:08,981 --> 00:14:10,082
No luck, huh?
399
00:14:13,285 --> 00:14:13,886
Bye, mom.
400
00:14:13,986 --> 00:14:15,354
Bye, dad.
401
00:14:15,454 --> 00:14:17,323
Yuck.
402
00:14:17,423 --> 00:14:19,892
Does he remind you of that kid in "The Bad Seed?"
403
00:14:22,461 --> 00:14:23,195
Harry didn't want him?
404
00:14:23,295 --> 00:14:24,930
No, Harry didn't want him.
405
00:14:25,030 --> 00:14:26,999
The gas station didn't want him.
406
00:14:27,099 --> 00:14:28,767
Anything from Buddy and Sally?
407
00:14:28,867 --> 00:14:30,169
No.
408
00:14:30,269 --> 00:14:32,705
Rob, how much would it cost to board him?
409
00:14:32,805 --> 00:14:33,973
For the rest of his life?
410
00:14:34,073 --> 00:14:36,208
Well, no, just till somebody wants him.
411
00:14:36,308 --> 00:14:39,044
That is the rest of his life.
412
00:14:39,144 --> 00:14:40,846
Poor old Horrible.
413
00:14:40,946 --> 00:14:43,115
Gee, he sure grows on you, doesn't he?
414
00:14:43,215 --> 00:14:45,718
I don't suppose there's any possibility that we
415
00:14:45,818 --> 00:14:47,319
could keep him, is there?
416
00:14:47,419 --> 00:14:48,754
Well.
417
00:14:48,854 --> 00:14:50,322
[sneezes]
418
00:14:50,422 --> 00:14:51,357
Guess not.
419
00:14:54,893 --> 00:14:56,328
There's only one thing to do.
420
00:14:56,428 --> 00:14:58,731
Rob, you can't take him back to the pound.
421
00:14:58,831 --> 00:15:01,033
I'm not taking him back to any pound.
422
00:15:01,133 --> 00:15:02,268
I am setting him free.
423
00:15:02,368 --> 00:15:03,902
Well, they'll just catch him again.
424
00:15:04,003 --> 00:15:07,239
If David Janssen could do it, he could do it.
425
00:15:07,339 --> 00:15:08,007
OK.
426
00:15:08,107 --> 00:15:08,974
Go on, Horrible.
427
00:15:09,074 --> 00:15:10,643
Run for it, boy.
428
00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:11,777
Run for it.
429
00:15:11,877 --> 00:15:13,279
Go on.
430
00:15:13,379 --> 00:15:17,316
Horrible, why do you look so horrible?
431
00:15:17,416 --> 00:15:18,951
Why do I have to get such brilliant ideas
432
00:15:19,051 --> 00:15:20,552
that always get us in trouble.
433
00:15:20,653 --> 00:15:22,721
The darn sketch never even got on the air.
434
00:15:22,821 --> 00:15:24,823
The sketch, "Pygmalion."
435
00:15:24,923 --> 00:15:25,991
Rotten idea.
436
00:15:26,091 --> 00:15:27,660
No, it wasn't, Rob.
437
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:29,495
Let's do it with him.
438
00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:30,863
What?
439
00:15:30,963 --> 00:15:33,198
We'll get him all prettied up so somebody would want him.
440
00:15:33,299 --> 00:15:34,900
Yeah, and if he got ugly again, by that time
441
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:35,834
they gotta love him.
442
00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:36,835
Yeah.
443
00:15:36,935 --> 00:15:37,803
That can't work.
444
00:15:37,903 --> 00:15:39,438
Oh, Rob, it's worth a try.
445
00:15:39,538 --> 00:15:40,439
All right.
446
00:15:40,539 --> 00:15:42,708
At least this way you have a chance.
447
00:15:42,808 --> 00:15:44,476
That's a brainstorm.
448
00:15:44,576 --> 00:15:47,546
That is a great idea.
449
00:15:47,646 --> 00:15:48,914
What am I looking up?
450
00:15:49,014 --> 00:15:51,350
Uh, dog salon.
451
00:15:51,450 --> 00:15:57,556
Oh yeah, docks, documents, doctors, dogs--
452
00:15:57,656 --> 00:16:01,327
the Bowwowerie, the Poodle Palace, the Puppy Palace,
453
00:16:01,427 --> 00:16:07,199
the Silver Hydrant, Mr. Doggy.
454
00:16:07,299 --> 00:16:08,534
You know of any of those?
455
00:16:08,634 --> 00:16:10,736
I think Grace takes her dog to The Puppy Palace.
456
00:16:10,836 --> 00:16:12,971
All right, puppy palace it is.
457
00:16:13,072 --> 00:16:15,074
Horrible, we're gonna make you handsome.
458
00:16:15,174 --> 00:16:18,477
Oh, Rob, I think The Puppy Palace only takes poodles.
459
00:16:18,577 --> 00:16:23,015
Well, who knows, honey, he may be one or maybe two.
460
00:16:26,218 --> 00:16:27,619
Bye bye, Buckets.
461
00:16:33,359 --> 00:16:35,661
Hello there, I'm Rob Petrie, I called a little bit earlier.
462
00:16:35,761 --> 00:16:36,829
Oh, yes.
463
00:16:36,929 --> 00:16:39,998
Oh my.
464
00:16:40,099 --> 00:16:42,668
You were right, this is an emergency.
465
00:16:42,768 --> 00:16:45,637
Well, why don't you come in here where it's more comfortable.
466
00:16:45,738 --> 00:16:47,005
Thank you.
467
00:16:47,106 --> 00:16:49,808
Yes, we have some collars and some accessories
468
00:16:49,908 --> 00:16:51,310
right over there.
469
00:16:51,410 --> 00:16:53,312
Rex will be right with you.
470
00:16:53,412 --> 00:16:54,713
Rex?
471
00:16:54,813 --> 00:16:59,017
My husband, he might be able to help you with your problem.
472
00:16:59,118 --> 00:17:00,586
I thought it was a dog.
473
00:17:00,686 --> 00:17:02,254
It may be.
474
00:17:02,354 --> 00:17:04,790
Hey, will you look at these collars?
475
00:17:04,890 --> 00:17:06,125
Better looking than my jewelry.
476
00:17:06,225 --> 00:17:08,594
This is some place.
477
00:17:08,694 --> 00:17:10,963
I got a feeling it's gonna cost us a fortune, too.
478
00:17:11,063 --> 00:17:11,930
Good morning.
479
00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:12,865
Oh, good morning.
480
00:17:12,965 --> 00:17:13,799
I'm Rob Petrie.
481
00:17:13,899 --> 00:17:15,768
This is my wife Laura.
482
00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:18,604
Rexford Spaulding.
483
00:17:18,704 --> 00:17:19,905
This is our dog, Horrib--
484
00:17:20,005 --> 00:17:22,274
our dog.
485
00:17:22,374 --> 00:17:24,877
Well, he doesn't have a name.
486
00:17:24,977 --> 00:17:27,813
He doesn't deserve one.
487
00:17:27,913 --> 00:17:28,781
Now, wait a minute.
488
00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:29,915
Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
489
00:17:30,015 --> 00:17:31,083
I've been under terrible pressure,
490
00:17:31,183 --> 00:17:32,818
getting ready for the big show.
491
00:17:32,918 --> 00:17:33,986
I do many of the dogs, you know.
492
00:17:34,086 --> 00:17:35,020
Oh?
493
00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:36,588
Four Champions in six years.
494
00:17:36,688 --> 00:17:37,923
Oh, that's wonderful.
495
00:17:38,023 --> 00:17:39,625
This year, put your money on Lord Swifty
496
00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:43,062
of Nottingham, an Irish Setter, marvelous coat,
497
00:17:43,162 --> 00:17:45,063
perfect stance, good breath.
498
00:17:45,164 --> 00:17:46,532
They judge on breath?
499
00:17:46,632 --> 00:17:48,133
No, but when you work as closely with them as I do,
500
00:17:48,233 --> 00:17:50,636
it means a lot.
501
00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:51,737
Uh, darling.
502
00:17:51,837 --> 00:17:55,908
Oh, well, Mr. Rex, what about our dog here?
503
00:17:56,008 --> 00:17:56,842
May I?
504
00:17:56,942 --> 00:17:59,745
Oh, yeah, please do.
505
00:17:59,845 --> 00:18:03,816
[music playing]
506
00:18:13,592 --> 00:18:17,596
What exactly did you have in mind?
507
00:18:17,696 --> 00:18:21,867
Well, we want you to make him beautiful.
508
00:18:21,967 --> 00:18:23,469
And your second choice?
509
00:18:26,138 --> 00:18:28,841
Well, beautiful is a lot to ask.
510
00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:31,944
Well, can't you kind of pretty him up a little bit?
511
00:18:32,044 --> 00:18:37,082
Pretty the best this beast will ever be is grotesque.
512
00:18:37,182 --> 00:18:38,150
Impossible.
513
00:18:38,250 --> 00:18:39,084
Impossible?
514
00:18:39,184 --> 00:18:41,353
Absolutely impossible.
515
00:18:41,453 --> 00:18:42,721
Well, if that's the way it is, honey,
516
00:18:42,821 --> 00:18:44,189
we'll try and do it ourselves, that's all.
517
00:18:44,289 --> 00:18:45,324
- Of course. - We can go someplace else.
518
00:18:45,424 --> 00:18:46,592
The Bowwowerie is down the street.
519
00:18:46,692 --> 00:18:47,326
Wait!
520
00:18:47,426 --> 00:18:48,594
I think I hit a nerve.
521
00:18:50,896 --> 00:18:51,797
Horrible.
522
00:18:55,133 --> 00:18:56,502
Sit.
523
00:18:56,602 --> 00:18:57,536
Not you.
524
00:19:07,312 --> 00:19:09,781
Once in every man's lifetime, there
525
00:19:09,882 --> 00:19:12,551
comes a supreme challenge.
526
00:19:12,651 --> 00:19:14,086
You mean you take a shot at horrible?
527
00:19:14,186 --> 00:19:16,188
A shot would be the humane thing to do.
528
00:19:19,057 --> 00:19:19,958
However.
529
00:19:26,231 --> 00:19:29,668
Has he been eating onion?
530
00:19:29,768 --> 00:19:30,903
That was two days ago.
531
00:19:33,438 --> 00:19:34,640
You know, I was thinking that--
532
00:19:34,740 --> 00:19:35,641
Sh!
533
00:19:39,344 --> 00:19:40,746
Yeah, you see there--
534
00:19:40,846 --> 00:19:41,780
Sh!
535
00:19:45,918 --> 00:19:46,752
Yes!
536
00:19:46,852 --> 00:19:47,653
Yes!
537
00:19:47,753 --> 00:19:48,987
Yes!
538
00:19:49,087 --> 00:19:49,888
Mr. and Mrs. Petrie?
539
00:19:49,988 --> 00:19:51,290
Yes.
540
00:19:51,390 --> 00:19:52,357
Will you allow me to do anything I want to do?
541
00:19:52,457 --> 00:19:53,892
Well, yeah, within reason.
542
00:19:53,992 --> 00:19:54,993
Good, then go.
543
00:19:55,093 --> 00:19:56,328
Give me three hours.
544
00:19:56,428 --> 00:19:57,362
Three hours?
545
00:19:57,462 --> 00:19:59,531
I could use a month.
546
00:19:59,631 --> 00:20:01,400
Well, OK, three hours then.
547
00:20:01,500 --> 00:20:03,201
Gee, what'll we do with all that time?
548
00:20:03,302 --> 00:20:05,270
May I suggest you go to a beauty parlor
549
00:20:05,370 --> 00:20:06,705
and you get a haircut.
550
00:20:06,805 --> 00:20:07,973
And you, come.
551
00:20:13,645 --> 00:20:16,448
$275.
552
00:20:16,548 --> 00:20:18,584
It is nicer than Laura's.
553
00:20:18,684 --> 00:20:19,318
Hi.
554
00:20:19,418 --> 00:20:20,218
Oh, hi, honey.
555
00:20:20,319 --> 00:20:21,520
Hey, your hair.
556
00:20:21,620 --> 00:20:22,621
Yeah.
557
00:20:22,721 --> 00:20:24,189
Hey, I don't want to kid you or anything,
558
00:20:24,289 --> 00:20:25,724
but it looks just the same.
559
00:20:25,824 --> 00:20:26,458
It is the same, dear.
560
00:20:26,558 --> 00:20:27,693
They couldn't take me.
561
00:20:27,793 --> 00:20:28,794
Everyone in town is getting their hair
562
00:20:28,894 --> 00:20:29,728
done for the dog show.
563
00:20:29,828 --> 00:20:31,129
You didn't get a haircut either.
564
00:20:31,229 --> 00:20:32,431
No, it was kitty day.
565
00:20:35,467 --> 00:20:37,869
Honey, will you look at that.
566
00:20:37,970 --> 00:20:39,104
I can't believe it.
567
00:20:39,204 --> 00:20:40,038
Of course, he's--
568
00:20:40,138 --> 00:20:41,673
He's beautiful, just--
569
00:20:41,773 --> 00:20:42,407
Gorgeous.
570
00:20:42,507 --> 00:20:44,176
Oh, you're a genius--
571
00:20:44,276 --> 00:20:46,778
Will you two stop?
572
00:20:46,878 --> 00:20:51,049
Do you for a moment think that Lord Swifty is your dog?
573
00:20:51,149 --> 00:20:52,117
That's Lord Swifty?
574
00:20:52,217 --> 00:20:53,151
Of Nottingham?
575
00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:54,720
In person.
576
00:20:54,820 --> 00:20:57,889
This is an example of what I can do when I'm given something
577
00:20:57,990 --> 00:21:01,493
to work with, like a dog.
578
00:21:01,593 --> 00:21:02,227
Deliver.
579
00:21:02,327 --> 00:21:03,428
Yes.
580
00:21:06,131 --> 00:21:07,532
Listen, what about Horrible?
581
00:21:07,633 --> 00:21:09,034
He's still horrible.
582
00:21:09,134 --> 00:21:10,369
I'll need at least another hour.
583
00:21:10,469 --> 00:21:12,104
Another hour?
584
00:21:12,204 --> 00:21:14,973
What are you gonna do?
585
00:21:15,073 --> 00:21:16,008
Get a haircut.
586
00:21:16,108 --> 00:21:17,943
What am I gonna do?
587
00:21:18,043 --> 00:21:19,444
Go with him.
588
00:21:19,544 --> 00:21:21,079
And if you're a good girl, they'll give you a balloon.
589
00:21:28,186 --> 00:21:29,821
Well, suppose he's still ugly.
590
00:21:29,921 --> 00:21:32,057
You know, I was thinking about that.
591
00:21:32,157 --> 00:21:33,925
Well, we'll just end up the owners
592
00:21:34,026 --> 00:21:36,061
of a nice, ugly dog then.
593
00:21:36,161 --> 00:21:37,863
Looks aren't everything.
594
00:21:37,963 --> 00:21:38,797
Right.
595
00:21:38,897 --> 00:21:39,598
What about your nose?
596
00:21:39,698 --> 00:21:40,866
Yeah, it's not the greatest.
597
00:21:40,966 --> 00:21:41,933
I get along with it.
598
00:21:42,034 --> 00:21:43,535
No, Rob, I meant the sneezing.
599
00:21:43,635 --> 00:21:47,205
Oh, well, he'll be a little lonely, I guess.
600
00:21:47,305 --> 00:21:49,141
He can sleep outside and I'll take pills.
601
00:21:49,241 --> 00:21:51,510
Mr. Petrie, your dog is ready.
602
00:21:51,610 --> 00:21:52,511
That's not our dog.
603
00:21:52,611 --> 00:21:55,313
Not unless they dyed his hair.
604
00:21:55,414 --> 00:21:56,515
Is that Swifty again?
605
00:21:56,615 --> 00:21:59,751
Oh, no, no, no, this is Lady Penelope.
606
00:21:59,851 --> 00:22:00,519
Lady Penelope?
607
00:22:00,619 --> 00:22:03,522
Lord Swifty's first wife.
608
00:22:03,622 --> 00:22:05,657
I didn't know they broke up.
609
00:22:08,593 --> 00:22:11,363
Mr. and Mrs. Petrie, may I present--
610
00:22:11,463 --> 00:22:12,264
what did you call him?
611
00:22:12,364 --> 00:22:14,733
Uh, well, Horrible.
612
00:22:14,833 --> 00:22:18,537
Hardly appropriate, may I present the impossible.
613
00:22:21,173 --> 00:22:24,309
Honey, will you look at that.
614
00:22:24,409 --> 00:22:25,811
I can't believe it.
615
00:22:25,911 --> 00:22:27,045
How do you like--
616
00:22:27,145 --> 00:22:28,180
He-- I can't--
617
00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:29,781
Oh, Rex, you're a genius.
618
00:22:29,881 --> 00:22:33,418
You see, Rocky, other people think so too.
619
00:22:33,518 --> 00:22:35,320
Rob, he looks like an expensive dog.
620
00:22:35,420 --> 00:22:36,455
Oh, he is.
621
00:22:36,555 --> 00:22:37,723
No kidding.
622
00:22:37,823 --> 00:22:41,827
Yes, this remodeling will cost you $75.
623
00:22:41,927 --> 00:22:42,894
That's expensive.
624
00:22:42,994 --> 00:22:44,730
He's beautiful, but don't fool yourself.
625
00:22:44,830 --> 00:22:48,700
He's not a fine show dog, he's an ordinary Poocock.
626
00:22:48,800 --> 00:22:49,835
A Poocock?
627
00:22:49,935 --> 00:22:53,538
Yes, half poodle, half Cocker Spaniel.
628
00:22:53,638 --> 00:22:56,842
Poocock, you know, is much nicer than mutt.
629
00:22:56,942 --> 00:22:58,143
Not necessarily.
630
00:22:58,243 --> 00:23:01,446
When we cross a Schnauzer with a Poodle, we call it--
631
00:23:01,546 --> 00:23:02,347
A Schnoodle.
632
00:23:02,447 --> 00:23:05,584
[laughter]
633
00:23:06,351 --> 00:23:07,619
Very good, very good.
634
00:23:07,719 --> 00:23:10,789
That's a trade joke.
635
00:23:10,889 --> 00:23:12,557
Well, Rex, I don't care how much he costs
636
00:23:12,657 --> 00:23:14,459
or I don't even care what he is, I'm happy with him.
637
00:23:14,559 --> 00:23:16,161
When we take him back to the pound now,
638
00:23:16,261 --> 00:23:17,329
somebody's bound to want him.
639
00:23:17,429 --> 00:23:18,997
The pound?
640
00:23:19,097 --> 00:23:20,332
Isn't he your dog?
641
00:23:20,432 --> 00:23:22,501
Well, no, actually we adopted him for a while.
642
00:23:22,601 --> 00:23:23,835
We do have to take him back.
643
00:23:23,935 --> 00:23:26,505
You're not taking my Poocock to any pound.
644
00:23:26,605 --> 00:23:27,539
Well, I'd rather not.
645
00:23:27,639 --> 00:23:28,774
You know someone who wants him?
646
00:23:28,874 --> 00:23:31,777
Mr. and Mrs. Petrie, I want him.
647
00:23:31,877 --> 00:23:33,044
You do?
648
00:23:33,145 --> 00:23:35,180
I've become very fond of him.
649
00:23:35,280 --> 00:23:36,515
Well, Laura.
650
00:23:36,615 --> 00:23:38,083
Don't worry, I'll take very good care of him.
651
00:23:38,183 --> 00:23:41,353
You see, he and I, well, we're two of a kind.
652
00:23:41,453 --> 00:23:42,521
You're--
653
00:23:42,621 --> 00:23:44,456
We're not all purebreds, you know.
654
00:23:44,556 --> 00:23:45,924
Oh, of course.
655
00:23:46,024 --> 00:23:48,260
I'm a Freek.
656
00:23:48,360 --> 00:23:49,394
Huh?
657
00:23:49,494 --> 00:23:53,765
Part French, part Greek, Freek.
658
00:23:53,865 --> 00:23:56,835
Is that one of those trade jokes?
659
00:23:56,935 --> 00:23:58,904
Well, you may visit us anytime you wish.
660
00:23:59,004 --> 00:24:01,640
Of course, please call, please call first.
661
00:24:01,740 --> 00:24:04,476
Boy, boy, it's tea time.
662
00:24:10,182 --> 00:24:12,317
We did find him a happy home, though, you know?
663
00:24:12,417 --> 00:24:13,418
It's kind of sad though.
664
00:24:13,518 --> 00:24:14,786
Oh, yeah.
665
00:24:14,886 --> 00:24:16,588
But aren't you proud you live in a country
666
00:24:16,688 --> 00:24:18,490
where a dirty old Poocock can end up living
667
00:24:18,590 --> 00:24:19,691
with a rich, young Freek.
668
00:24:30,302 --> 00:24:35,674
[theme music]
44778
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.