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[theme music]
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ANNOUNCER: "The Dick Van Dyke Show,"
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starring Dick Van Dyke, Rose Marie, Morey Amsterdam, Larry
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Mathews, and Mary Tyler Moore.
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ROB: (SINGING) Over hill, over dale.
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(SINGING) Millie Helper brought the mail.
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Oh, thank you.
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ROB: (SINGING) And those caissons for singing--
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- Swinging. - Rolling.
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Oh, butt out, will you?
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Oh, look.
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Another fascinating selection from the book club.
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Last month, we got the history of the tubeless tire.
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Hmm.
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Listen. Don't quit.
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We quit two years ago, and now we get
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more books than we did before.
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Hey, this isn't from the book club.
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It's from Harvey Bellman.
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Huh?
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He's a friend of Rob's.
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"The Day of the Sky" by Harvey Bellman.
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He got it published.
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Hey, you remember Harvey.
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No, I don't know him.
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Oh, sure, you do.
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Remember he came to that anniversary party
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of ours, made the crazy toast?
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Oh, yeah.
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He tried to throw his glass in the fireplace.
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- Yeah. - From the bedroom.
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That's the one.
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Hey, darling, come here.
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Just a minute, honey.
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I think I hit the plumbing.
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Boy, he sure was a wild character.
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He was so-- so--
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Earthy?
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Well, I was going to say dirty.
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Gee, a real novel.
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I've never known anybody who wrote a novel before.
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Well, sure you do.
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Rob's writing a book.
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Yeah, well, Rob's book is like Jerry's guitar.
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It stays in the closet.
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Aw.
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Hey, honey, you've got to see what I did.
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Hey, come here.
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Guess what.
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No, you guess first.
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You know what I did with my very own hands?
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Fertilized the bushes.
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No, I dug a hole-- perfectly round hole.
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You've got to come out and see it.
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Take a look at that.
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Harvey Bellman's novel.
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Isn't that wonderful?
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That son of a gun.
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He did it.
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Hey, I didn't even look.
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I bet it's dedicated to you.
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Why would he dedicate it to Rob?
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Well, Rob's the one who kept him going.
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No kidding.
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Yeah, yeah.
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Well, what did you do?
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Well, every time Harvey said he wanted to quit,
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Rob kept saying, you can do it, Harv.
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You can do it.
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And, boy, he sure did.
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He lent him money and everything.
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Boy, you're a real patron of the arts.
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"I lovingly dedicate this book to Alice,
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Minnie, Charlie, and Chick."
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Those his kids?
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No, his cats.
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Gee, Rob, those cats should have been you.
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"The Day of the Sky" by Harvey Bellman.
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What a dirty rat.
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Why is he a dirty rat?
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Uh, Millie, you want to give me a hand in the kitchen?
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Why is he a rat?
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Millie.
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Why is he a dirty rat?
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231 pages.
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Boy, you people are moody.
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One minute we're singing, and the next minute
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we're going in the kitchen. - Millie.
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I'm coming.
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Hey, darling, you want to take some time out for lunch?
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I'll eat lunch tonight.
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How is it?
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I'll tell you something.
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It's good.
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It's darn good.
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Listen to what he wrote here in the front.
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"Dear Bones--" that's me.
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I used to be very thin.
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I know.
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It says, "Thanks for kicking me in the conscience.
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You're a beauty, guy.
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If I get any bread from this book,
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I'll pay you back everything.
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Harvey.
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PS, if you ever want to use my cabin at Lake Pushneck, yell.
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It's a perfect place for a novelist to nov."
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That Harvey Bellman is all right.
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Rob, you have absolutely no reason to be jealous.
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Honey, I'm not jealous.
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You're envious.
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Green with it.
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I'm going to write a novel.
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But you are a writer.
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And a good one, too.
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Then how come I'm sitting here reading somebody
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else's book instead of my own?
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Well, you're still working on your book.
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Yeah?
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Why am I spending my vacation out there digging holes?
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Unnecessary holes.
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You seemed so happy.
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I fooled you, too.
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I was obviously digging that hole to bury my guilt.
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What guilt?
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My guilt about not finishing my novel, honey.
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I'm not a writer.
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You are, too.
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Yeah, what do I write?
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Television.
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Well, that's not a real book.
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Honey, I'm not-- I'm not a writer that you read.
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I'm a-- I'm a writer that other people say what I wrote.
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Well, darling, you'll finish your novel someday.
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Yeah, I'll finish my novel like
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Jerry Helper's going to learn to play "MalagueƱa" on a guitar.
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Oh.
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Honey, I'm going to finish my book.
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I mean it.
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I'm going to show that dirty rat.
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Darling, will you stop calling Harvey a dirty rat?
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Don't defend him.
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This dirty rat is my inspiration.
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I love him.
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All right.
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I've got three more weeks.
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I'll finish all the chapters in three weeks.
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All right?
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You really mean it?
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Yeah, I sure do mean it, honey.
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I'll clean off the desk in-- in the, uh, den.
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I have to buy a lot of paper and a lot of pencils.
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You don't have to buy it, darling.
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We have paper and pencils. - Well, I know.
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But it's not new.
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Everything's got to be brand new.
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My notes.
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All my notes, honey.
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Where are those napkins and matchbooks?
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Oh, I put them in the shoe box.
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Good, good.
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Honey, I'm ready.
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I'm going to do it this time.
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I'm going to start right now.
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I don't want to be disturbed for anything, not even meals.
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Slide them under the door.
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Oh, well, we're having roast turkey.
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Well, slice it thin.
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Yeah, we'd love to play bridge.
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But Millie will be my partner, OK?
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Well, Rob's writing his book, and
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Jerry's practicing his guitar.
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Your husband and his book.
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He's got everybody's guilts going.
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Who needs a flamenco dentist?
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OK.
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We'll see you then.
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Bye bye.
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Gee, Laura.
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I don't need all that.
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I'm only having six people.
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Well, you never know.
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Did you say something?
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Oh, hi, Rob.
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Hi. Look.
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I got to get back to work.
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How is he today?
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Well, to tell you the truth, I think he's having
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a hard time getting started.
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He's still getting started?
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It's been three days.
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Well, I guess it isn't easy.
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I don't need the salad bowls.
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Who's coming to this thing, anyway?
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Oh, everyone.
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Harry and Sylvia and Frank and Lucille.
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Oh, boy.
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Those two couples.
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- They still fighting? - Are you kidding?
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It won't be a dinner.
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It'll be a regular roller derby.
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Hey, whatever happened to Sylvia you-know-who.
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Oh, that.
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Did I tell you the latest?
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No.
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Well, she got herself a new hairdresser down
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in the village.
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You know, Mr. Carlos?
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Oh, yes.
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Well, one day she goes down there for a wash and a set.
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Yeah.
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And who comes out but Mr. Carlos himself.
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Yeah.
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And he is handsome.
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I mean, he is handsome.
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LAURA: I know.
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I've heard.
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Well, he says he can't take her right away,
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see. (QUIETLY) So she goes in the back
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and sits down [inaudible].
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You're kidding.
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Is that-- is that the guy with the red station wagon?
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I-- I came out--
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I had to get a book.
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Look, will you hold it down in here?
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I'm trying to work.
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Why don't we go talk in the kitchen, Millie?
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No, I'd rather go home.
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This house is no fun anymore.
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Well, I'll give you a hand.
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No, don't bother.
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I'll come back.
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[phone ringing]
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Hello?
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No, Tommy, Ritchie's not home.
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OK, dear.
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Bye bye.
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Who was it?
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Who was what?
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On the phone.
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Oh, it was for Ritchie.
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Honey, why do those kids have to keep
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calling up for Ritchie here?
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Because he lives here.
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Anyway, darling, I told you I'd get the phone.
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Well, I know, but I'm back there,
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and I keep wondering who it is.
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You know, when I'm in the den, I can
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hardly hear the phone ringing.
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Well, if you stand right by the door, you can.
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Rob, I thought you were going to be working.
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I am working, honey.
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Standing is working.
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Sitting is working.
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Pacing is writing.
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Any-- I do my best thinking then.
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OK, darling.
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Looking out the window, that's writing.
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Brushing your teeth is writing.
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Anything is writing.
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The hardest writing is the showering.
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Darling, you know the one thing that's not writing?
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What?
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Explaining to your wife what writing is.
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Honey, not now.
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I've got to get to work.
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I'll tell you what, darling.
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I'll put the phone on the slowest ring,
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and I'll lay it here on the couch under the pillow.
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And that way you won't hear a thing.
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Good idea.
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Back again.
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Hi.
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How's it going?
274
00:08:14,293 --> 00:08:15,194
Pretty rough, huh?
275
00:08:15,294 --> 00:08:16,095
What?
276
00:08:16,195 --> 00:08:17,396
The novel.
277
00:08:17,496 --> 00:08:20,499
Oh, well, Millie, you can't say, you know,
278
00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:22,168
when a novel is going good or going bad.
279
00:08:22,268 --> 00:08:26,038
Because it's a very delicate, complicated thing.
280
00:08:26,138 --> 00:08:28,908
Hemingway once wrote an article about the creative process.
281
00:08:29,008 --> 00:08:31,477
And he said he felt that if you're expressing--
282
00:08:31,577 --> 00:08:34,046
Darling, you're explaining again.
283
00:08:34,146 --> 00:08:35,114
Yeah.
284
00:08:35,214 --> 00:08:37,550
Well, bye.
285
00:08:37,650 --> 00:08:38,517
Oh, listen.
286
00:08:38,618 --> 00:08:39,919
Don't take the ice bucket.
287
00:08:40,019 --> 00:08:42,221
With Frank and Lucille, everything's on the rocks,
288
00:08:42,321 --> 00:08:44,724
including their marriage.
289
00:08:44,824 --> 00:08:46,225
Well, does that about do it?
290
00:08:46,325 --> 00:08:47,226
Yeah, I think so.
291
00:08:47,326 --> 00:08:48,394
Oh, the meat thermometer.
292
00:08:48,494 --> 00:08:49,662
I could use that.
293
00:08:49,762 --> 00:08:51,330
Millie, why don't you buy one of those?
294
00:08:51,430 --> 00:08:52,265
I did.
295
00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:54,300
You got it.
296
00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:55,768
I've got to buy one of those.
297
00:09:00,039 --> 00:09:01,674
I'll get it.
298
00:09:04,644 --> 00:09:06,078
Hello?
299
00:09:06,178 --> 00:09:07,079
Hello?
300
00:09:09,615 --> 00:09:10,983
I thought the phone rang.
301
00:09:11,083 --> 00:09:13,586
That's funny because at my house, it goes, ring.
302
00:09:16,489 --> 00:09:18,224
Millie, that's on a soft ring.
303
00:09:18,324 --> 00:09:19,292
Rob, are you out here again?
304
00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:20,426
Well, I thought--
305
00:09:20,526 --> 00:09:21,594
I thought I heard the phone ring.
306
00:09:21,694 --> 00:09:23,162
Well, darling, I tell you what.
307
00:09:23,262 --> 00:09:25,998
The next time you think you hear it ring, think I got it, OK?
308
00:09:26,098 --> 00:09:27,233
Oh, OK.
309
00:09:27,333 --> 00:09:30,503
Boy, it sure is hard to get something down on paper.
310
00:09:30,603 --> 00:09:31,971
What was that?
311
00:09:32,071 --> 00:09:33,439
The refrigerator defrosting.
312
00:09:33,539 --> 00:09:34,640
You want to answer it?
313
00:09:42,615 --> 00:09:43,516
Rob, what are you doing?
314
00:09:43,616 --> 00:09:44,750
Working.
315
00:09:49,021 --> 00:09:50,022
Working?
316
00:09:50,122 --> 00:09:50,790
Or sleeping?
317
00:09:50,890 --> 00:09:52,358
Honey, I'm not sleeping.
318
00:09:52,458 --> 00:09:53,893
I'm thinking.
319
00:09:53,993 --> 00:09:55,428
For a change, I'm finally getting something done tonight.
320
00:09:55,528 --> 00:09:57,296
No distraction.
321
00:09:57,396 --> 00:10:00,700
Why did you have to wear that?
322
00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:02,134
What's wrong with this?
323
00:10:02,234 --> 00:10:04,103
Well, honey, it's the most blatant distraction yet.
324
00:10:04,203 --> 00:10:06,339
How do you expect me to work when you look like that?
325
00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:07,807
I'm sorry, darling.
326
00:10:07,907 --> 00:10:09,608
Would you go put on some curlers or some cold cream
327
00:10:09,709 --> 00:10:10,576
or something?
328
00:10:10,676 --> 00:10:11,911
Oh, come on now.
329
00:10:12,011 --> 00:10:13,779
Aren't you being kind of silly?
330
00:10:13,879 --> 00:10:15,848
Well, I-- honey, I-- doggone it, I couldn't work all day.
331
00:10:15,948 --> 00:10:16,849
I waited to work tonight.
332
00:10:16,949 --> 00:10:18,150
Now I can't work at night.
333
00:10:18,250 --> 00:10:19,652
I'll work tomorrow.
334
00:10:19,752 --> 00:10:21,854
Boy, Rob, I don't know what to do anymore.
335
00:10:21,954 --> 00:10:24,757
I've tried my level best to make this house as comfortable
336
00:10:24,857 --> 00:10:25,691
as possible for you.
337
00:10:25,791 --> 00:10:26,592
Have you?
338
00:10:26,692 --> 00:10:27,893
Yes!
339
00:10:27,994 --> 00:10:29,595
I've done everything but reroute the traffic.
340
00:10:29,695 --> 00:10:32,965
The whole neighborhood's like a hospital zone.
341
00:10:33,065 --> 00:10:33,899
That's it.
342
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:37,470
I can hear everybody being quiet.
343
00:10:37,570 --> 00:10:39,105
It's too comfortable here.
344
00:10:39,205 --> 00:10:41,907
Maybe I ought to get a garret and starve a little bit.
345
00:10:42,008 --> 00:10:43,409
Hey, you know, that's not a bad idea.
346
00:10:43,509 --> 00:10:44,343
What?
347
00:10:44,443 --> 00:10:45,478
Starving's a good idea?
348
00:10:45,578 --> 00:10:47,513
No, but how about Harvey's cabin?
349
00:10:47,613 --> 00:10:49,015
You want me to go up to Harvey's cabin?
350
00:10:49,115 --> 00:10:50,850
Well, he said you could use it.
351
00:10:50,950 --> 00:10:52,284
You want me to go away?
352
00:10:52,385 --> 00:10:54,387
Well, yes, I do.
353
00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:56,522
By myself?
354
00:10:56,622 --> 00:10:58,357
Darling, is this book important to you?
355
00:10:58,457 --> 00:10:59,625
Well, you know it is.
356
00:10:59,725 --> 00:11:01,160
Well, then I want you to go to the cabin.
357
00:11:01,260 --> 00:11:02,261
Oh, now come on.
358
00:11:02,361 --> 00:11:03,629
You know darn well you don't want me to go.
359
00:11:03,729 --> 00:11:05,798
Rob, I do.
360
00:11:05,898 --> 00:11:07,733
Are you being honest?
361
00:11:07,833 --> 00:11:08,934
I'll show you.
362
00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:12,238
What's she up to?
363
00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:15,608
What are you doing?
364
00:11:15,708 --> 00:11:17,176
You know how you hate to pack?
365
00:11:17,276 --> 00:11:18,711
I'm going to pack for you so you can leave
366
00:11:18,811 --> 00:11:19,745
first thing in the morning.
367
00:11:19,845 --> 00:11:22,048
Are you kicking me out?
368
00:11:22,148 --> 00:11:23,182
Uh-huh.
369
00:11:23,282 --> 00:11:23,883
You know something?
370
00:11:23,983 --> 00:11:25,384
You're a smart lady.
371
00:11:25,484 --> 00:11:27,787
Up there, it'll just be me and that typewriter
372
00:11:27,887 --> 00:11:28,954
and nothing to disturb me.
373
00:11:29,055 --> 00:11:30,389
You know something? I married good.
374
00:11:30,489 --> 00:11:31,424
The best.
375
00:11:34,827 --> 00:11:37,029
Here we are.
376
00:11:37,129 --> 00:11:39,565
Just cleaned it up a couple of days ago.
377
00:11:39,665 --> 00:11:40,599
[whistling]
378
00:11:40,699 --> 00:11:43,536
Oh, boy, this is great.
379
00:11:43,636 --> 00:11:45,738
Oh, I can't wait to get to work.
380
00:11:45,838 --> 00:11:46,972
You known Mr. Bellman long?
381
00:11:47,073 --> 00:11:49,108
Oh, we've been friends a long time.
382
00:11:49,208 --> 00:11:49,842
What do you do?
383
00:11:49,942 --> 00:11:51,210
Oh, I'm a writer.
384
00:11:51,310 --> 00:11:52,978
Uh-huh.
385
00:11:53,079 --> 00:11:56,082
Harvey has got a nice place here.
386
00:11:56,182 --> 00:11:57,083
You a weirdo?
387
00:11:59,785 --> 00:12:00,953
No, I don't think so.
388
00:12:01,053 --> 00:12:01,921
Good.
389
00:12:02,021 --> 00:12:03,556
We got enough weirdos around here.
390
00:12:03,656 --> 00:12:05,925
Painters, poets, writers.
391
00:12:06,025 --> 00:12:06,826
You know what I mean?
392
00:12:06,926 --> 00:12:08,394
Well, no, not really.
393
00:12:08,494 --> 00:12:09,695
OK.
394
00:12:09,795 --> 00:12:11,730
Take the couple up at the top of the hill.
395
00:12:11,831 --> 00:12:15,000
Lowell and Francine [inaudible] artists.
396
00:12:15,101 --> 00:12:16,001
Huh!
397
00:12:16,102 --> 00:12:17,369
Troublemakers, that's what they are.
398
00:12:17,470 --> 00:12:18,504
What do they do?
399
00:12:18,604 --> 00:12:19,572
Every year, they come into town
400
00:12:19,672 --> 00:12:21,107
and break up our square dance.
401
00:12:21,207 --> 00:12:22,374
Well, how do they do that?
402
00:12:22,475 --> 00:12:23,409
They're nudists.
403
00:12:27,646 --> 00:12:29,415
It's a darn shame, too.
404
00:12:29,515 --> 00:12:32,218
Good dancers.
405
00:12:32,318 --> 00:12:33,752
Well, if you need me for anything,
406
00:12:33,853 --> 00:12:36,355
you can always find me down at Phil's Tavern.
407
00:12:36,455 --> 00:12:37,323
Sopping up the suds.
408
00:12:37,423 --> 00:12:38,257
See you later.
409
00:12:38,357 --> 00:12:39,391
Well, just a second.
410
00:12:39,492 --> 00:12:40,893
Thanks for your help. - No, that's all right.
411
00:12:40,993 --> 00:12:42,394
- No, I want you to have it. - No, that's OK.
412
00:12:42,495 --> 00:12:43,295
I insist.
413
00:12:43,395 --> 00:12:44,230
No, please.
414
00:12:44,330 --> 00:12:45,297
Now come on--
415
00:12:50,736 --> 00:12:52,605
Happy?
416
00:12:52,705 --> 00:12:53,639
I'm sorry.
417
00:12:53,739 --> 00:12:54,707
I-- I didn't mean to do that.
418
00:12:54,807 --> 00:12:55,608
I--
419
00:12:55,708 --> 00:12:57,076
Well, now I'll take it.
420
00:13:02,781 --> 00:13:04,216
Oh, what a Christmas card.
421
00:13:04,316 --> 00:13:08,187
"Season greetings from Lowell and Francine [inaudible]..
422
00:13:08,287 --> 00:13:10,122
[whistling]
423
00:13:10,222 --> 00:13:13,626
It must be cold in that snow.
424
00:13:13,726 --> 00:13:14,560
OK.
425
00:13:14,660 --> 00:13:17,496
Let's get to work.
426
00:13:17,596 --> 00:13:18,430
OK.
427
00:13:18,531 --> 00:13:21,500
All the notes.
428
00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:24,336
My unfinished masterpiece.
429
00:13:24,436 --> 00:13:25,371
Let's see.
430
00:13:30,743 --> 00:13:33,679
Plenty of good paper.
431
00:13:33,779 --> 00:13:35,881
Plenty of pencils.
432
00:13:35,981 --> 00:13:36,815
All right.
433
00:13:36,916 --> 00:13:38,083
Let's get down to work.
434
00:13:42,821 --> 00:13:44,123
[whistling]
435
00:13:44,223 --> 00:13:46,292
I can't wait to get started.
436
00:13:46,392 --> 00:13:47,893
Boy, this is nice.
437
00:13:47,993 --> 00:13:50,596
Laura was right.
438
00:13:50,696 --> 00:13:51,530
OK.
439
00:13:51,630 --> 00:13:52,431
This is it.
440
00:13:52,531 --> 00:13:53,465
Now this is it.
441
00:13:56,435 --> 00:13:59,505
210, 211, 212, 213--
442
00:13:59,605 --> 00:14:00,739
213.
443
00:14:00,839 --> 00:14:02,441
I broke my own record.
444
00:14:02,541 --> 00:14:05,578
Somebody.
445
00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:06,912
Boy, oh, boy.
446
00:14:07,012 --> 00:14:09,215
Harvey must have wasted a lot of time with this.
447
00:14:09,315 --> 00:14:11,884
I don't know how he ever got any work done.
448
00:14:11,984 --> 00:14:13,419
Well, I've got to get started.
449
00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:14,220
OK.
450
00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:15,287
What is the matter with me?
451
00:14:15,387 --> 00:14:17,056
I've got to write.
452
00:14:17,156 --> 00:14:19,692
OK.
453
00:14:19,792 --> 00:14:23,329
Look at those nails.
454
00:14:23,429 --> 00:14:24,296
Yuck.
455
00:14:24,396 --> 00:14:25,397
Gee.
456
00:14:25,497 --> 00:14:27,199
I wonder if he's got a brush or something.
457
00:14:27,299 --> 00:14:28,167
No, I'm not.
458
00:14:28,267 --> 00:14:29,635
I'm going to sit down here and write.
459
00:14:29,735 --> 00:14:31,070
Doggone it.
460
00:14:31,170 --> 00:14:33,405
OK.
461
00:14:33,505 --> 00:14:36,075
[typing]
462
00:14:39,478 --> 00:14:41,847
That's a good sentence.
463
00:14:41,947 --> 00:14:43,949
Hey, that's a very good sentence.
464
00:14:44,049 --> 00:14:45,017
All right now.
465
00:14:45,117 --> 00:14:51,523
This is-- shoot.
466
00:14:51,624 --> 00:14:52,558
Well, just lay there.
467
00:14:52,658 --> 00:14:54,360
I'm going to write.
468
00:14:54,460 --> 00:14:56,228
Darn.
469
00:14:56,328 --> 00:14:57,263
OK.
470
00:15:01,500 --> 00:15:02,901
The floor must be warped or everything's.
471
00:15:03,002 --> 00:15:04,470
Everything's on a slant.
472
00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:06,505
Yeah, I'm typing uphill.
473
00:15:06,605 --> 00:15:09,608
Boy, that can make you sick at your stomach.
474
00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:17,082
Yeah, everything is-- say--
475
00:15:20,519 --> 00:15:25,524
yeah, that's a little more like it now.
476
00:15:25,624 --> 00:15:26,592
All right.
477
00:15:38,504 --> 00:15:40,072
Right when it's hot, everything has to go.
478
00:15:40,172 --> 00:15:41,373
I'm not going to try and fix that.
479
00:15:41,473 --> 00:15:43,676
I've got to write when I can write.
480
00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:46,779
When you're hot, you can write anywhere, any time,
481
00:15:46,879 --> 00:15:49,615
any place, on anything.
482
00:15:49,715 --> 00:15:50,616
Almost.
483
00:15:57,389 --> 00:16:01,360
I'll just jack up the typewriter, that's all.
484
00:16:01,460 --> 00:16:04,596
That's good.
485
00:16:04,697 --> 00:16:06,298
[whistling]
486
00:16:06,398 --> 00:16:08,334
[inaudible] McCoy, all right.
487
00:16:08,434 --> 00:16:10,235
I wonder what he shoots with those.
488
00:16:12,838 --> 00:16:13,739
OK.
489
00:16:13,839 --> 00:16:14,740
Now.
490
00:16:19,244 --> 00:16:22,081
He's got [inaudible] in there.
491
00:16:22,181 --> 00:16:23,983
Man, that is a--
492
00:16:24,083 --> 00:16:28,253
isn't that a beautiful sight?
493
00:16:28,354 --> 00:16:32,624
I'm going to try this.
494
00:16:32,725 --> 00:16:34,493
Who would have thought?
495
00:16:34,593 --> 00:16:37,963
Isn't that heavy?
496
00:16:38,063 --> 00:16:39,565
[laughing]
497
00:16:39,665 --> 00:16:41,266
Oh, this feels nice.
498
00:16:47,639 --> 00:16:49,241
[laughing]
499
00:17:17,970 --> 00:17:21,507
He would have been dead then.
500
00:17:21,607 --> 00:17:23,642
Say, glad I didn't live in those days.
501
00:17:26,078 --> 00:17:28,313
Ooh!
502
00:17:28,414 --> 00:17:29,314
Ow.
503
00:17:32,384 --> 00:17:34,686
How did they do that?
504
00:17:34,787 --> 00:17:36,288
Why did they do that?
505
00:17:40,692 --> 00:17:41,627
Ow!
506
00:18:02,614 --> 00:18:05,951
OK, bartender.
507
00:18:06,051 --> 00:18:09,088
I'd like to buy an unfinished novel.
508
00:18:09,188 --> 00:18:10,456
I've got to get back to work.
509
00:18:10,556 --> 00:18:11,156
What am I doing?
510
00:18:11,256 --> 00:18:12,458
I'm an idiot.
511
00:18:16,895 --> 00:18:17,729
OK.
512
00:18:17,830 --> 00:18:19,331
Let's write something.
513
00:18:19,431 --> 00:18:20,399
Ha, ha!
514
00:18:20,499 --> 00:18:21,400
Ha!
515
00:18:26,772 --> 00:18:29,074
Ah.
516
00:18:29,174 --> 00:18:32,044
Now.
517
00:18:32,144 --> 00:18:33,579
Crate will never get off the ground.
518
00:18:42,054 --> 00:18:43,155
OK.
519
00:18:53,565 --> 00:18:55,734
It works!
520
00:18:55,834 --> 00:18:59,738
Boy, my wife is smart for sending me up here to write.
521
00:18:59,838 --> 00:19:02,574
I'll kill her.
522
00:19:02,674 --> 00:19:03,942
No, I won't.
523
00:19:04,042 --> 00:19:05,410
First, I'm going to write a dedication to her for the book.
524
00:19:05,511 --> 00:19:07,112
And then I'll kill her.
525
00:19:07,212 --> 00:19:08,514
[crashing sound outside]
526
00:19:08,614 --> 00:19:09,348
Hey, Horace!
527
00:19:09,448 --> 00:19:10,449
HORACE: What's that?
528
00:19:10,549 --> 00:19:11,183
Hey!
529
00:19:11,283 --> 00:19:12,351
Hi, Horace.
530
00:19:12,451 --> 00:19:13,452
I just dropped off a load of wood.
531
00:19:13,552 --> 00:19:14,620
Oh, I see. Come in a second.
532
00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:15,888
Oh, no. I don't want to bother you.
533
00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:17,022
You've got company.
534
00:19:17,122 --> 00:19:18,023
No, I haven't got anybody here.
535
00:19:18,123 --> 00:19:19,358
Nobody at all.
536
00:19:19,458 --> 00:19:20,526
Oh, I thought I heard you talking to someone.
537
00:19:20,626 --> 00:19:23,295
No, just talking to myself.
538
00:19:28,033 --> 00:19:30,302
Well, I've got to get going.
539
00:19:30,402 --> 00:19:32,170
Stay around a little while and talk to me, will you?
540
00:19:32,271 --> 00:19:33,805
It gets so quiet up here.
541
00:19:33,906 --> 00:19:35,073
A guy could go crazy.
542
00:19:35,174 --> 00:19:36,842
Oh?
543
00:19:36,942 --> 00:19:40,245
Oh, hey, did you ever-- did you ever play paddle-ball?
544
00:19:40,345 --> 00:19:41,179
Not lately.
545
00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:42,548
Well, I did 210 before.
546
00:19:42,648 --> 00:19:44,049
210 straight. - That's nice.
547
00:19:44,149 --> 00:19:46,418
I guess you're wondering why I'm wearing these guns.
548
00:19:46,518 --> 00:19:47,119
Oh, no.
549
00:19:47,219 --> 00:19:48,787
No, sir.
550
00:19:48,887 --> 00:19:50,722
They're very becoming.
551
00:19:50,822 --> 00:19:52,824
Well, I guess I'll let you get back to work now.
552
00:19:52,925 --> 00:19:54,159
Oh, I'm not working.
553
00:19:54,259 --> 00:19:57,496
That's one thing I have been doing is working.
554
00:19:57,596 --> 00:19:59,631
Well, I thought you wanted to finish your book.
555
00:19:59,731 --> 00:20:00,399
Oh, no. Listen.
556
00:20:00,499 --> 00:20:01,466
What's important?
557
00:20:01,567 --> 00:20:02,968
A friendship or a book? Come on.
558
00:20:03,068 --> 00:20:03,936
Stay just a little while.
559
00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:05,337
Have-- have lunch.
560
00:20:05,437 --> 00:20:08,941
Or dinner, any meal you want.
561
00:20:09,041 --> 00:20:10,742
Uh, OK.
562
00:20:10,842 --> 00:20:11,543
OK.
563
00:20:11,643 --> 00:20:12,578
We can have a little party.
564
00:20:12,678 --> 00:20:13,912
I got a jug out in the car.
565
00:20:14,012 --> 00:20:16,815
I'll go get it.
566
00:20:16,915 --> 00:20:17,983
Can I go now?
567
00:20:18,083 --> 00:20:18,917
Oh, yeah.
568
00:20:19,017 --> 00:20:19,952
Go ahead.
569
00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:28,827
Hot dog, boy, company.
570
00:20:28,927 --> 00:20:30,362
[laughing]
571
00:20:31,396 --> 00:20:33,599
I wonder if I overdid that.
572
00:20:33,699 --> 00:20:35,901
[car starting]
573
00:20:37,536 --> 00:20:41,406
Yeah, I overdid it, all right.
574
00:20:41,506 --> 00:20:46,078
I guess he thinks I'm some kind of a weirdo or something.
575
00:20:46,178 --> 00:20:47,946
I think so, too.
576
00:20:48,046 --> 00:20:49,581
I think I'm a weirdo.
577
00:20:53,785 --> 00:20:56,254
Laura, that's why you wanted Rob to go up to the cabin.
578
00:20:56,355 --> 00:20:57,656
He wanted to be alone.
579
00:20:57,756 --> 00:20:59,925
Yeah, but, Millie, I'm sure it's not going well.
580
00:21:00,025 --> 00:21:01,326
How do you know?
581
00:21:01,426 --> 00:21:02,561
Because if it were going well, he'd be reading
582
00:21:02,661 --> 00:21:04,162
every word on the phone to me.
583
00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:06,965
Last night when he called, he never even mentioned the book.
584
00:21:07,065 --> 00:21:08,000
Well, give him a chance.
585
00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:09,468
It's only been three days.
586
00:21:09,568 --> 00:21:12,037
Millie, I'm not sure he wanted to go up there at all.
587
00:21:12,137 --> 00:21:14,740
Well, you didn't force him to go.
588
00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:15,807
I think I did.
589
00:21:15,907 --> 00:21:18,410
I'm the one who suggested that cabin.
590
00:21:18,510 --> 00:21:22,147
I made it a kind of a challenge.
591
00:21:22,247 --> 00:21:23,882
Maybe I ought to go up there.
592
00:21:23,982 --> 00:21:25,484
What's that going to do?
593
00:21:25,584 --> 00:21:26,785
Well, Millie, back here at home,
594
00:21:26,885 --> 00:21:29,421
he had 1,000 reasons for not finishing the book.
595
00:21:29,521 --> 00:21:31,556
But up there, he's got only one--
596
00:21:31,657 --> 00:21:32,424
himself.
597
00:21:32,524 --> 00:21:33,492
Yeah, well, so you go up there,
598
00:21:33,592 --> 00:21:34,893
what are you going to do?
599
00:21:34,993 --> 00:21:37,095
Well, at least I can apologize for pushing him
600
00:21:37,195 --> 00:21:38,196
into a dead end.
601
00:21:38,296 --> 00:21:39,998
Oh, they all need a push.
602
00:21:40,098 --> 00:21:41,667
It was the same thing with Jerry when he didn't
603
00:21:41,767 --> 00:21:43,268
want to finish dental school.
604
00:21:43,368 --> 00:21:45,804
I gave him a push, and it gave him the courage and confidence
605
00:21:45,904 --> 00:21:47,072
to go ahead and finish.
606
00:21:47,172 --> 00:21:48,006
What did you do?
607
00:21:48,106 --> 00:21:49,141
I told his mother.
608
00:21:49,241 --> 00:21:50,842
Boy, did she yell at him.
609
00:21:54,012 --> 00:21:55,113
Millie, I'm going up there.
610
00:21:58,383 --> 00:21:59,217
Laura!
611
00:21:59,317 --> 00:22:00,285
Oh, Rob.
612
00:22:00,385 --> 00:22:01,420
Honey, what are you doing here?
613
00:22:01,520 --> 00:22:02,487
- Hi, darling. - Never mind that.
614
00:22:02,587 --> 00:22:03,455
I'm glad to see you.
615
00:22:03,555 --> 00:22:04,623
Can you stay?
616
00:22:04,723 --> 00:22:05,824
I mean, what are you doing here?
617
00:22:05,924 --> 00:22:07,726
Rob, it doesn't matter why I came here.
618
00:22:07,826 --> 00:22:10,829
What you've done so far is just beautiful.
619
00:22:10,929 --> 00:22:12,164
Huh?
620
00:22:12,264 --> 00:22:13,999
It's just-- well, Rob, if you can write like this up here
621
00:22:14,099 --> 00:22:16,301
in this cavern, darling, I think you ought to stay
622
00:22:16,401 --> 00:22:18,003
here until you finish the book.
623
00:22:18,103 --> 00:22:19,204
Write like what?
624
00:22:19,304 --> 00:22:21,173
Well, like the description of Teresa
625
00:22:21,273 --> 00:22:22,207
walking through the garden.
626
00:22:22,307 --> 00:22:24,609
Rob, it's a you I don't know.
627
00:22:24,710 --> 00:22:26,144
It's a me I don't know who.
628
00:22:26,244 --> 00:22:27,279
Who's Teresa?
629
00:22:27,379 --> 00:22:29,047
Well, you know, Alfred's daughter.
630
00:22:29,147 --> 00:22:30,315
What?
631
00:22:30,415 --> 00:22:32,351
Oh, honey, you're reading discarded pages
632
00:22:32,451 --> 00:22:34,186
from Harvey's manuscript here.
633
00:22:34,286 --> 00:22:35,120
Harvey?
634
00:22:35,220 --> 00:22:36,054
Yeah.
635
00:22:36,154 --> 00:22:37,089
You didn't write this?
636
00:22:37,189 --> 00:22:38,423
No, honey. Well.
637
00:22:38,523 --> 00:22:39,758
Here's what I wrote.
638
00:22:43,795 --> 00:22:45,764
This is three days' work.
639
00:22:45,864 --> 00:22:46,698
Well, no.
640
00:22:46,798 --> 00:22:49,768
I-- I made that wastebasket there.
641
00:22:49,868 --> 00:22:51,403
Oh, Rob.
642
00:22:51,503 --> 00:22:55,307
Oh, and, honey, I got up to 374 on this.
643
00:22:55,407 --> 00:22:56,374
[inaudible]
644
00:22:56,475 --> 00:22:57,275
Go ahead.
645
00:22:57,375 --> 00:22:58,677
Read it.
646
00:22:58,777 --> 00:23:00,178
I'm no Harvey Bellman, but you might like my work.
647
00:23:00,278 --> 00:23:04,516
"To my darling Laura, who makes living a beautiful thing
648
00:23:04,616 --> 00:23:06,384
to write about."
649
00:23:06,485 --> 00:23:08,019
Well, that's beautiful, Rob.
650
00:23:08,120 --> 00:23:09,621
It's a dedication, honey.
651
00:23:09,721 --> 00:23:13,225
Now all I have to do is write a book to stick on the end of it.
652
00:23:13,325 --> 00:23:16,995
Rob, are you angry with me for forcing you to come up here?
653
00:23:17,095 --> 00:23:19,831
Well, I was, honey, up until last night.
654
00:23:19,931 --> 00:23:22,868
And last night, I realized that I'm no novelist.
655
00:23:22,968 --> 00:23:24,269
Yet, anyway.
656
00:23:24,369 --> 00:23:26,605
You know, it would have taken me years to realize that at home.
657
00:23:26,705 --> 00:23:27,806
But I know one thing.
658
00:23:27,906 --> 00:23:29,274
When I'm ready to write a novel, I'm
659
00:23:29,374 --> 00:23:31,176
not going to have to have a cabin
660
00:23:31,276 --> 00:23:32,677
or a quiet house or anything.
661
00:23:32,778 --> 00:23:36,314
I'll be able to write it on the subway at rush hour.
662
00:23:36,414 --> 00:23:37,549
Boy, I can't wait for the day you
663
00:23:37,649 --> 00:23:38,950
are ready to write that book.
664
00:23:39,050 --> 00:23:40,152
Why?
665
00:23:40,252 --> 00:23:42,053
Well, I just hate to see a beautiful dedication
666
00:23:42,154 --> 00:23:43,622
like this wasted.
667
00:23:43,722 --> 00:23:45,157
Well, I-- I'll tell you what.
668
00:23:45,257 --> 00:23:47,359
If I don't finish the novel, I'll put it on my tombstone.
669
00:23:47,459 --> 00:23:48,427
Oh, Rob.
670
00:23:48,527 --> 00:23:49,694
Honey, I'll put it on yours then
671
00:23:49,795 --> 00:23:50,896
Oh!
672
00:23:50,996 --> 00:23:52,597
Stop it.
673
00:23:52,697 --> 00:23:54,833
Hey, darling, this is so much fun.
674
00:23:54,933 --> 00:23:56,201
Yeah.
675
00:23:56,301 --> 00:23:58,737
Not writing is a great way to spend a weekend, all right.
676
00:23:58,837 --> 00:24:00,572
Where do you want to go next week and not write?
677
00:24:00,672 --> 00:24:03,675
Oh, well, I don't think we can get Millie to sit again.
678
00:24:03,775 --> 00:24:05,243
Oh, honey, I'm so glad you came up here.
679
00:24:05,343 --> 00:24:07,279
I was going crazy.
680
00:24:07,379 --> 00:24:09,481
Rob, it's beautiful up here.
681
00:24:09,581 --> 00:24:11,550
Hey, why don't we get a cabin like this?
682
00:24:11,650 --> 00:24:14,152
That's a great idea.
683
00:24:14,252 --> 00:24:16,888
Oh, that air.
684
00:24:16,988 --> 00:24:20,192
I know what you mean when you say you can't beat nature.
685
00:24:20,292 --> 00:24:22,093
Trees and the mountains.
686
00:24:25,664 --> 00:24:27,466
Rob, there's something--
687
00:24:27,566 --> 00:24:29,067
What's the matter, honey?
688
00:24:29,167 --> 00:24:30,068
Well, [inaudible].
689
00:24:30,168 --> 00:24:31,770
Oh.
690
00:24:31,870 --> 00:24:34,005
It's Lowell and Francine [inaudible] I recognize
691
00:24:34,105 --> 00:24:35,507
them from their picture.
692
00:24:35,607 --> 00:24:36,408
Rob, [inaudible].
693
00:24:36,508 --> 00:24:37,342
Hi, folks!
694
00:24:37,442 --> 00:24:38,376
[inaudible].
695
00:24:38,476 --> 00:24:39,945
I can't ask them in, honey.
696
00:24:40,045 --> 00:24:41,146
We're not dressed.
697
00:24:41,246 --> 00:24:42,247
Oh, Rob.
698
00:24:45,617 --> 00:24:51,022
[music playing]
45518
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