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[MUSIC - THEME, "THE DICK VAN DYKE SHOW"]
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ANNOUNCER: "The Dick Van Dyke Show,"
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starring Dick Van Dyke, Rose Marie, Morey Amsterdam, Larry
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Matthews, and Mary Tyler Moore.
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[sneezing]
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Bless you.
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Oh, thank you.
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[sneeze]
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Bless you.
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Thanks.
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What did Richie want?
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Another glass of water.
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That's four glasses of water in the last two hours, now.
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What do they have for dinner?
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A box of salt or something?
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Come on, Rob, you came back just
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in time to play the wrong card and lose the rubber.
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We'll see about that.
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All right.
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And the dummy plays the nine of diamonds.
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Come on, honey, now just play the right card
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and we can at least save this one game.
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Ah-ha!
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That's it.
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The rest of these are good, that's game, and rubber.
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Why did you play a club?
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Because all I have are clubs.
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Oh, well then should have bid clubs.
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[sneeze]
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Shall we play another rubber?
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No, I don't think Rob's nose can take another game.
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Look at the way he's sneezing. - Oh, Jerry.
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- I'll do that, Millie. - That's all right.
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What are you babbling about, Jerry?
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Well, Rob, I'm not a psychiatrist,
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but didn't you notice that every time you
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lost a game you sneezed?
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I lost too, Jerry, and I'm not sneezing.
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But honey, you don't take defeat as emotionally as Rob.
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You see, he's suppressing his anger,
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and that anger had to go someplace.
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So it came out his nose?
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Right.
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Honey, but that sneeze is not a real sneeze.
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It's psychosomatic, brought on by hostility.
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Jerry, I read that article in the Sunday
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magazine section too, Jerry.
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Not everything in the whole world is psychosomatic.
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You see how defensive he is?
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You're angry, all right.
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I'll bet you feel like sneezing right now.
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Well, that's the trouble with those articles
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in the newspaper.
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Guys like you read them, and you start analyzing everybody.
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Just because I sneeze a couple of times,
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he's got me pegged as an angry neurotic.
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Well, for your information, buddy, I am not angry.
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[sneeze]
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You see, you see?
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You say you're not angry, but you're sneezing,
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and you're on the verge of shouting.
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I bet you won't even admit who you're angry with.
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I know who I'm getting angry with.
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Oh, let him go, Millie's, he's having fun.
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All right, doctor.
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Who am I angry with?
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You read that article.
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Obviously not as thoroughly as you did, doctor.
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All right, who did the article say that I'm a-agree with--
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[sneeze]
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Well, all right.
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Me?
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Laura?
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You are very angry with your wife.
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Oh, Jerry.
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Look, I hate to smash your little theory,
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but I'm not angry at Laura.
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As a matter of fact, I might go so far to say
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that I am very fond of her.
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That is precisely why you are hiding your hostility.
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That's why you sneeze.
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I don't understand.
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Well, you shouldn't have said that.
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Now we'll explain.
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I would like very much to hear his explanation.
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All right, Jer.
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The way I see it, you sneeze because you
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didn't want to shout and be hostile towards someone
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you love.
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You'd rather sneeze than say the awful things that are
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locked up in your subconscious.
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You see, your nose acted like a safety valve.
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It blew up before your mouth did.
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Well, Jerry, your diagnosis may be right,
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but I say it's wrong.
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I sneeze because my nose itched.
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[sneeze] See?
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My nose itches.
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Rob, a nose itch, a sneeze, hives, shingles, a stiff neck,
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sore back.
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All the things that can be brought
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out by holding in anger.
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Deep anger that only people you love can bring out of you.
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Now you know I was right, Rob, if you
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really read that article.
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I read it, and the theory may be right,
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but you have the wrong patient, doctor.
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Honey, come on let's make some coffee and sweet rolls.
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I'll put some in the oven.
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[sneeze]
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Rob, are you catching a cold?
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Oh, I don't think so.
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Boy, that darn Jerry.
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I give out with a couple of sneezes
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he picked me as a wife hater.
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Everybody's an amateur psychiatrist.
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Let me feel your forehead.
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You don't have a temperature.
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What do you think is making you sneeze?
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Oh, I don't know.
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Until told me to go in and give Richard that glass of water
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I felt fine.
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Rob, were you upset that I asked you to go into Richie?
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Well, no, of course not, honey.
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Is funny though.
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I sneezed earlier when you sent me
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in there to get Richard a glass of water the first time.
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Hope I'm not getting allergic to my own son.
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Rob, you were angry that I sent you to Rich, weren't you?
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No, of course not, honey.
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Don't tell me you're going to get
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serious about Jerry's theory.
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Well, darling, it's just that you
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sneezed right after I asked you to do something
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you didn't want to do.
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Oh, now, come on.
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Since when don't I want to give Rich a drink of water?
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And then you sneezed when I played a club
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and lost the bridge game.
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You are angry with me, aren't you?
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Laura, you know very well I don't
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get that upset over a game of bridge.
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Well, is it possible you're upset
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with me for something else?
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Laura, I am not angry with you.
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You sneezed.
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My nose itched.
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Are you sure?
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I should know whether my nose itches--
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[sneeze]
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Or not.
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Why are you angry with me?
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Because you take Jerry's kidding so seriously.
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Shh.
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And I want to tell you once and for all, I not
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[sneeze]
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Not, I repeat, not angry with you.
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[sneeze]
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There.
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You see?
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I am not going to discuss it any further.
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I love you and that is it!
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Ah!
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Ooh!
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Achoo-ow!
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Achoo-ow!
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Look at this!
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[sneezing]
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Rob.
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[sneeze]
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Rob, wake up.
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Mama.
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Mama, too much ragweed, Mama.
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Rob, wake up.
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Not your mom.
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Mama, make papa mow the ragweed.
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I'm not your mom.
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I-- what--
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who-- what?
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Honey, what are you doing up?
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You sneezed me up.
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Oh, I dreamed I was in a field of ragweed.
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And you wouldn't give me a handkerchief.
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I wouldn't give--
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well, that's nice.
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Oh, honey.
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Don't start that all over again.
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I'm not angry with you.
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Then why did you dream I wouldn't
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give you a handkerchief?
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I don't know.
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Why don't you call up Jerry and ask him.
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Then why did you ask your mother to tell
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your father to mow the ragweed?
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Who asked all that?
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You did, in your sleep.
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Now why did you dream that?
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Honey, I am not a psychiatrist.
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Would you mind lying back there let, me get some sleep, please?
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[sneeze]
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You are angry with me.
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Laura, how did you figure that?
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That was a hostile sneeze.
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If you don't let me get some sleep,
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you're going to hear a hospital scream.
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I'm sorry.
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He could have asked me to mow the ragweed,
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but no, he asked his mother.
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Oh, boy.
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The next time there's any ragweed demo in my dreams.
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[sneeze]
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Mm-hm.
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What does mm-hm mean?
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I suppose you're going to say that wasn't hostile.
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You're right.
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Maybe you're right.
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From now on, when I sneeze, I'll try to sneeze more friendly.
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A--hi-there!
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All right.
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All right, just tell me this.
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If you're not sneezing at me, what is making you sneeze.
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Oh, I don't know.
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It doesn't feel like a cold.
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Feels like a hay fever allergy I had when I was a kid.
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Well, this isn't the hay fever season.
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Oh, I feel like I'm allergic to something.
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A marriage, perhaps?
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To me?
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Oh Laura, would you leave psychoanalyzing
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me till in the morning, please?
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Hm.
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All right, what does the hm mean?
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Now who's getting psychological?
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I just said a plain, uncomplicated hm.
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All right, now Laura, once and for all.
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I love you.
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I love being married.
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I love Rich.
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There is nothing psychological in my sneezing,
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and I have no hidden hostilities toward you.
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Then why did you dream I wouldn't
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give you a handkerchief?
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Down deep, you must think I don't care about you.
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And dreaming about your mother and father,
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boy, if that's not psychological.
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LAURA: Where are you going?
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I'm going to go to the den and get some sleep.
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No, you're not.
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You're going there to sneeze thoughts that I can't hear.
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I am going to go to the den to get
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some sleep so that you don't have
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to stay up all night saying--
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[sneeze]
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Gesundheit.
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Yes.
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[sneeze]
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See you later.
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Well, now, let's see.
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You've got a reaction to animal dander and goldenrod,
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but you're not allergic to wool or any other fabric,
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and it isn't food.
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Unless you haven't told me all you ate yesterday.
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Did I say that I had orange or pineapple juice for breakfast?
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Orange, I think.
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Are you sure?
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Well, let's have another look at your scratch tests.
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Orange juice, column four, number three.
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Orange juice, and it's negative.
269
00:10:01,233 --> 00:10:04,370
You got any pineapple back there.
270
00:10:04,470 --> 00:10:06,305
I didn't test you for that, but I will tomorrow.
271
00:10:06,405 --> 00:10:07,540
Oh.
272
00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:10,776
Now, is there any other food that you
273
00:10:10,876 --> 00:10:12,712
might have eaten yesterday?
274
00:10:12,812 --> 00:10:14,547
I mean, that you've forgotten about?
275
00:10:14,647 --> 00:10:17,116
Well, what did I tell about so far, Doctor?
276
00:10:17,216 --> 00:10:21,087
Oh, well, yesterday's menu included string beans,
277
00:10:21,187 --> 00:10:26,859
hamburgers, sweet roll, peanuts, ice cream, sardines, hot dogs,
278
00:10:26,959 --> 00:10:33,265
vanilla wafers, a coconut bar, potato leek soup, and raisins.
279
00:10:33,366 --> 00:10:35,534
Did I eat all that yesterday?
280
00:10:35,634 --> 00:10:38,604
That's your menu.
281
00:10:38,704 --> 00:10:45,444
Plus chocolate pudding, mushrooms,
282
00:10:45,544 --> 00:10:47,880
tomatoes, white flour, and mozzarella
283
00:10:47,980 --> 00:10:50,750
cheese, and anchovies.
284
00:10:50,850 --> 00:10:52,685
I don't remember eating all that stuff.
285
00:10:52,785 --> 00:10:54,253
Well, you said you had a pizza.
286
00:10:54,353 --> 00:10:56,689
Oh, Yeah.
287
00:10:56,789 --> 00:10:57,690
Very surprising.
288
00:10:57,790 --> 00:10:58,691
What is?
289
00:10:58,791 --> 00:10:59,959
That you're just sneezing.
290
00:11:00,059 --> 00:11:03,129
You should be very sick to your stomach.
291
00:11:03,229 --> 00:11:04,130
I should.
292
00:11:04,230 --> 00:11:05,598
Well, you can button your shirt now.
293
00:11:05,698 --> 00:11:07,166
Oh, OK.
294
00:11:07,266 --> 00:11:08,367
Well now, let's see.
295
00:11:08,467 --> 00:11:11,237
You say you haven't sneezed since you left home.
296
00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:12,138
Right.
297
00:11:12,238 --> 00:11:13,272
Oh, sit.
298
00:11:13,372 --> 00:11:14,774
Oh, thank you.
299
00:11:14,874 --> 00:11:18,177
Now, has your wife changed her brand of toilet water,
300
00:11:18,277 --> 00:11:19,145
or perfume?
301
00:11:19,245 --> 00:11:22,348
No, she smelled the same for years.
302
00:11:22,448 --> 00:11:23,883
Why?
303
00:11:23,983 --> 00:11:25,584
Do you think I might be allergic to a perfume or something?
304
00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:26,819
Possible.
305
00:11:26,919 --> 00:11:28,754
Now, are you sure you haven't come
306
00:11:28,854 --> 00:11:30,956
in contact with animal fur?
307
00:11:31,057 --> 00:11:33,492
A dog, a cat, or even a hamster?
308
00:11:33,592 --> 00:11:37,263
No, we've got a little catfish in the aquarium at home,
309
00:11:37,363 --> 00:11:38,364
but he's not too furry.
310
00:11:43,235 --> 00:11:45,371
What do you think it might be, Doctor?
311
00:11:45,471 --> 00:11:47,973
Well, I guess that there's something in your house
312
00:11:48,074 --> 00:11:50,042
that's making you sneeze.
313
00:11:50,142 --> 00:11:51,410
Yeah.
314
00:11:51,510 --> 00:11:53,145
My wife thinks it's her.
315
00:11:53,245 --> 00:11:54,180
Oh?
316
00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:56,182
Yeah, she says that my sneezing is all
317
00:11:56,282 --> 00:11:57,817
psychological, that I'm repressing
318
00:11:57,917 --> 00:11:59,852
some hidden hostility for her.
319
00:11:59,952 --> 00:12:01,887
Oh, did your wife read that article
320
00:12:01,987 --> 00:12:03,856
in the Sunday supplement too?
321
00:12:03,956 --> 00:12:07,493
No, but a loud mouthed neighbor did.
322
00:12:07,593 --> 00:12:10,129
Why don't you go through the rest of the day doing what you
323
00:12:10,229 --> 00:12:12,064
normally do, eating the foods you prefer,
324
00:12:12,164 --> 00:12:13,232
and I'll see you tomorrow.
325
00:12:13,332 --> 00:12:14,967
OK, fine doctor.
326
00:12:15,067 --> 00:12:18,137
I mean, there's no chance that my wife would be
327
00:12:18,237 --> 00:12:19,605
causing the sneezing, is there?
328
00:12:19,705 --> 00:12:22,808
Well, not unless you're allergic to her.
329
00:12:22,908 --> 00:12:24,076
What do you mean, allergic?
330
00:12:24,176 --> 00:12:25,711
You mean it's possible to be physically
331
00:12:25,811 --> 00:12:27,413
allergic to your wife?
332
00:12:27,513 --> 00:12:28,814
Well, it's been known to happen,
333
00:12:28,914 --> 00:12:30,683
but it's highly improbable in your case.
334
00:12:30,783 --> 00:12:32,785
I wouldn't even let it cross my mind.
335
00:12:35,087 --> 00:12:36,455
Thank you, doctor.
336
00:12:36,555 --> 00:12:38,824
Oh, call me if you get another attack during the night.
337
00:12:38,924 --> 00:12:42,128
Well, yeah, yeah, I will.
338
00:12:42,228 --> 00:12:43,529
[laughing]
339
00:12:43,629 --> 00:12:46,232
It's really possible for a guy to be allergic to his own wife?
340
00:12:46,332 --> 00:12:47,166
Yes.
341
00:12:47,266 --> 00:12:49,668
I know of one case where a fellow
342
00:12:49,768 --> 00:12:51,604
was so allergic that every time he kissed
343
00:12:51,704 --> 00:12:53,772
his wife he broke out in hives.
344
00:12:53,873 --> 00:12:55,508
What did he do?
345
00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:56,909
He scratched a lot.
346
00:13:01,380 --> 00:13:02,314
Thank you, Doctor.
347
00:13:07,119 --> 00:13:08,921
Laura, you know Jerry's not a psychiatrist.
348
00:13:09,021 --> 00:13:10,422
He's a dentist.
349
00:13:10,523 --> 00:13:12,691
Well, the man who wrote the article is a psychiatrist,
350
00:13:12,791 --> 00:13:13,959
and it made a lot of sense.
351
00:13:14,059 --> 00:13:16,028
Rob is hostile to me.
352
00:13:16,128 --> 00:13:18,063
He sneezed through dinner, through breakfast,
353
00:13:18,164 --> 00:13:20,032
and right out the front door.
354
00:13:20,132 --> 00:13:21,534
I know, I heard him.
355
00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:22,902
I don't think it's hostility.
356
00:13:23,002 --> 00:13:24,470
I think it's one of those 24 hour
357
00:13:24,570 --> 00:13:25,971
things that's going around.
358
00:13:26,071 --> 00:13:28,607
I hope so, because I just can't take another night
359
00:13:28,707 --> 00:13:30,176
of his sneezing at me.
360
00:13:30,276 --> 00:13:32,111
I'm going to kill that Jerry.
361
00:13:32,211 --> 00:13:33,679
But first I got to feed him.
362
00:13:33,779 --> 00:13:36,348
Listen, send Freddy home in about five minutes, will you?
363
00:13:36,448 --> 00:13:37,583
He's been here all day.
364
00:13:37,683 --> 00:13:39,018
Don't apologize.
365
00:13:39,118 --> 00:13:40,553
Richie he practically lived at your house yesterday.
366
00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:42,087
Oh, they were angels.
367
00:13:42,188 --> 00:13:43,722
They formed a new club and played in the garage all day.
368
00:13:43,822 --> 00:13:45,791
Oh, well the club moved to our garage today.
369
00:13:45,891 --> 00:13:47,293
Oh, I'll yell for them as I pass by.
370
00:13:47,393 --> 00:13:48,928
Yes, send mine in while you're at it.
371
00:13:49,028 --> 00:13:51,564
OK, see you later.
372
00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:52,898
Freddy dinner!
373
00:13:52,998 --> 00:13:54,867
Richie, your mother wants you.
374
00:13:54,967 --> 00:13:56,168
Sneezing at me.
375
00:13:56,268 --> 00:13:57,503
Suppressing his hostility.
376
00:13:57,603 --> 00:13:59,471
Why doesn't he just come right out and yell at me
377
00:13:59,572 --> 00:14:01,607
and tell me what's on his mind if he's so upset.
378
00:14:01,707 --> 00:14:03,776
I don't know how to cope with somebody just going to stand
379
00:14:03,876 --> 00:14:05,277
there and sneeze at me.
380
00:14:05,377 --> 00:14:07,313
Most ridiculous thing I ever heard of.
381
00:14:10,883 --> 00:14:12,518
Hi, Mommy.
382
00:14:12,618 --> 00:14:13,819
Hi, Richie.
383
00:14:13,919 --> 00:14:15,821
Oh, boy, what a good hug.
384
00:14:15,921 --> 00:14:17,089
You have fun with Freddy today?
385
00:14:17,189 --> 00:14:18,557
Yeah, we made a new club.
386
00:14:18,657 --> 00:14:19,825
I'm the president.
387
00:14:19,925 --> 00:14:21,527
Oh, so you're the main one.
388
00:14:21,627 --> 00:14:22,494
No Freddy is.
389
00:14:22,595 --> 00:14:25,064
He's the king.
390
00:14:25,164 --> 00:14:26,699
Well, that sounds like a good club.
391
00:14:26,799 --> 00:14:28,300
Who else is in it?
392
00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:31,704
Well, me and Freddy and-- and that's all.
393
00:14:31,804 --> 00:14:34,139
A king and a president, very exclusive.
394
00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:36,675
Yeah, Mommy, can I grind the pepper into the salad?
395
00:14:36,775 --> 00:14:38,010
Well, dear, I already put some in,
396
00:14:38,110 --> 00:14:40,212
but I guess it could use some more.
397
00:14:44,250 --> 00:14:45,584
All right, Rich, I think that ought to do it.
398
00:14:45,684 --> 00:14:48,153
You go wash up now and get ready for dinner, huh?
399
00:14:48,254 --> 00:14:49,154
OK.
400
00:14:54,293 --> 00:14:56,295
Well, now what's this for?
401
00:14:56,395 --> 00:14:59,531
For letting me and Freddy have our club in the garage today.
402
00:14:59,632 --> 00:15:00,833
Thank you, Mommy.
403
00:15:00,933 --> 00:15:02,401
You're welcome, dear.
404
00:15:11,844 --> 00:15:13,045
Hi, honey.
405
00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:20,919
I said hi, honey.
406
00:15:21,020 --> 00:15:22,354
I don't even get a kiss?
407
00:15:25,824 --> 00:15:28,327
[sneeze]
408
00:15:29,695 --> 00:15:30,829
The pepper.
409
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:32,398
It's probably that pepper caused that.
410
00:15:32,498 --> 00:15:34,900
There was no pepper during the bridge game last night, Rob,
411
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:36,602
and no pepper in our bedroom.
412
00:15:36,702 --> 00:15:39,104
Yeah, well, that's true.
413
00:15:39,204 --> 00:15:40,839
How are you, honey?
414
00:15:40,939 --> 00:15:42,975
Fine.
415
00:15:43,075 --> 00:15:45,544
How's your nose today?
416
00:15:45,644 --> 00:15:48,981
Well, it's quiet anyway, thank goodness.
417
00:15:49,081 --> 00:15:52,384
I didn't even know I had one all day.
418
00:15:52,484 --> 00:15:54,019
Buddy and Sally thought I was kidding
419
00:15:54,119 --> 00:15:57,323
when I told them about last night's nasal hurricane.
420
00:16:05,230 --> 00:16:06,665
Did you see the doctor?
421
00:16:06,765 --> 00:16:08,534
Yeah, I saw him.
422
00:16:08,634 --> 00:16:09,802
What did he say?
423
00:16:09,902 --> 00:16:11,036
Well, he said--
424
00:16:18,410 --> 00:16:20,679
[sneeze]
425
00:16:26,418 --> 00:16:29,488
Well, he tested me for string beans
426
00:16:29,588 --> 00:16:32,524
and potato leek soup and chocolate pudding
427
00:16:32,624 --> 00:16:34,259
and anchovies and--
428
00:16:36,929 --> 00:16:38,130
[muffled sneeze]
429
00:16:38,230 --> 00:16:40,933
Did he check you for hidden hostilities?
430
00:16:41,033 --> 00:16:43,635
[sneeze]
431
00:16:43,736 --> 00:16:45,270
Oh.
432
00:16:45,371 --> 00:16:48,640
My nose is tickling the same way I did last night.
433
00:16:48,741 --> 00:16:49,775
That's nice.
434
00:16:49,875 --> 00:16:50,776
I haven't sneezed all day, today.
435
00:16:50,876 --> 00:16:52,711
Lovely.
436
00:16:52,811 --> 00:16:56,682
My gosh, I didn't even have to blow my nose all day.
437
00:16:56,782 --> 00:16:59,418
There is good news.
438
00:16:59,518 --> 00:17:01,387
Honey, give me a hug and a kiss.
439
00:17:01,487 --> 00:17:04,890
Not if you were the last man on Earth.
440
00:17:04,990 --> 00:17:06,825
Do I-- it's not for pleasure.
441
00:17:06,925 --> 00:17:07,826
Thank you.
442
00:17:10,262 --> 00:17:12,231
Sweetie, it's an experiment.
443
00:17:12,331 --> 00:17:15,534
Then go kiss a guinea pig!
444
00:17:15,634 --> 00:17:18,103
[sneeze]
445
00:17:18,203 --> 00:17:19,738
Look, I hope I'm wrong, but I was fine
446
00:17:19,838 --> 00:17:21,807
until I came home and gave you a hello kiss,
447
00:17:21,907 --> 00:17:23,675
and I touched your hair.
448
00:17:23,776 --> 00:17:25,544
Honey, it's not hostility!
449
00:17:25,644 --> 00:17:30,082
Laura, the allergist things that I may be allergic to you.
450
00:17:30,182 --> 00:17:31,250
Allergic?
451
00:17:31,350 --> 00:17:33,252
Oh, Rob, you have to be joking.
452
00:17:33,352 --> 00:17:35,387
Honey, why would I joke?
453
00:17:35,487 --> 00:17:36,522
Let's kiss.
454
00:17:36,622 --> 00:17:38,290
Now if I am wrong, all you've lost is a kiss.
455
00:17:38,390 --> 00:17:39,625
This is ridiculous.
456
00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:40,659
I know it.
457
00:17:45,264 --> 00:17:46,832
Hey, so far, so good--
458
00:17:46,932 --> 00:17:48,667
[sneeze]
459
00:17:48,767 --> 00:17:50,135
Oh my gosh.
460
00:17:50,235 --> 00:17:52,204
Honey, have you changed your perfume or anything?
461
00:17:52,304 --> 00:17:54,273
No damn allergic to you.
462
00:17:54,373 --> 00:17:55,841
Oh, Rob, if you're teasing me.
463
00:17:55,941 --> 00:17:57,843
Honey, why would I tease about a thing like that?
464
00:17:57,943 --> 00:17:58,777
I love you.
465
00:17:58,877 --> 00:18:00,012
I enjoy kissing.
466
00:18:00,112 --> 00:18:00,946
Let's try it again.
467
00:18:01,046 --> 00:18:02,414
No, I'm afraid.
468
00:18:02,514 --> 00:18:03,949
Well, now don't worry, honey, I'm not going to give up
469
00:18:04,049 --> 00:18:05,150
kissing for sneezing.
470
00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:12,391
Let's try it again, all right?
471
00:18:12,491 --> 00:18:13,392
OK.
472
00:18:24,002 --> 00:18:26,872
[muffled sneeze]
473
00:18:26,972 --> 00:18:30,075
Oh, Rob.
474
00:18:30,175 --> 00:18:31,376
Hi, Daddy!
475
00:18:31,477 --> 00:18:34,346
Oh, hi, Rich, how are you, buddy?
476
00:18:34,446 --> 00:18:35,781
You bring me anything?
477
00:18:35,881 --> 00:18:37,816
Yeah, I brought a little bit--
478
00:18:37,916 --> 00:18:39,818
a-- a--
479
00:18:39,918 --> 00:18:43,288
[sneeze]
480
00:18:43,388 --> 00:18:46,124
Oh, I brought you a package of gum.
481
00:18:46,225 --> 00:18:47,059
Thank you, Daddy.
482
00:18:47,159 --> 00:18:48,260
And bless you.
483
00:18:48,360 --> 00:18:49,995
You're welcome, Rich, and thank you.
484
00:18:50,095 --> 00:18:51,597
You're welcome.
485
00:18:51,697 --> 00:18:53,599
I just sneezed when I kissed him.
486
00:18:53,699 --> 00:18:55,167
I noticed that.
487
00:18:57,603 --> 00:18:58,937
Hey, Rich.
488
00:18:59,037 --> 00:19:00,606
How about another big hug for daddy.
489
00:19:00,706 --> 00:19:01,640
OK.
490
00:19:18,557 --> 00:19:20,893
[sneeze]
491
00:19:24,263 --> 00:19:26,899
Oh my gosh, I'm allergic to my whole family.
492
00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:28,267
My wife, my son.
493
00:19:28,367 --> 00:19:30,135
Oh, Rob, you just have to be wrong.
494
00:19:30,235 --> 00:19:32,104
Isn't it more likely that you're allergic
495
00:19:32,204 --> 00:19:34,306
to fabric or pollen or dust?
496
00:19:34,406 --> 00:19:35,941
No, honey, I tested all those things.
497
00:19:36,041 --> 00:19:37,075
They were all negative.
498
00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:38,410
Besides, there's fabric and pollen
499
00:19:38,510 --> 00:19:40,746
and dust all over the city, and in the office.
500
00:19:40,846 --> 00:19:42,281
The only time I sneeze is when I come
501
00:19:42,381 --> 00:19:43,582
in contact with you and Rich.
502
00:19:43,682 --> 00:19:45,651
But you never reacted this way before.
503
00:19:45,751 --> 00:19:47,219
Well, they say there's been cases
504
00:19:47,319 --> 00:19:49,154
where a person can develop an allergic reaction
505
00:19:49,254 --> 00:19:52,524
to another person.
506
00:19:52,624 --> 00:19:55,060
Aw, honey.
507
00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:57,763
It's very, very rare, anyways.
508
00:19:57,863 --> 00:19:59,831
The only other thing I reacted positively to
509
00:19:59,932 --> 00:20:01,733
was goldenrod and animal fur.
510
00:20:01,833 --> 00:20:03,702
Well, there's no goldenrod around here,
511
00:20:03,802 --> 00:20:06,171
and the only animal fur is my mink stole.
512
00:20:06,271 --> 00:20:07,739
Yeah.
513
00:20:07,839 --> 00:20:09,741
Yeah, mink stole.
514
00:20:09,841 --> 00:20:10,776
That's animal fur.
515
00:20:10,876 --> 00:20:12,377
Oh, Rob, do you think that could be it?
516
00:20:12,477 --> 00:20:13,812
I don't know, but I'm gonna find out.
517
00:20:13,912 --> 00:20:15,581
Oh, please be.
518
00:20:15,681 --> 00:20:16,915
[doorbell]
519
00:20:17,015 --> 00:20:18,784
Come on, baby, make me sneeze.
520
00:20:18,884 --> 00:20:19,818
Hi, Laura.
521
00:20:23,922 --> 00:20:25,357
Rob, what do you doing?
522
00:20:25,457 --> 00:20:26,325
What's he doing?
523
00:20:26,425 --> 00:20:27,292
Look what he's doing.
524
00:20:27,392 --> 00:20:28,694
I'm testing.
525
00:20:28,794 --> 00:20:29,661
He's testing.
526
00:20:29,761 --> 00:20:31,697
He's thinking of buying mink towels.
527
00:20:31,797 --> 00:20:34,099
We'll tell you about it in a minute.
528
00:20:34,199 --> 00:20:37,102
Rob, do you feel anything?
529
00:20:37,202 --> 00:20:38,303
Not a think.
530
00:20:38,403 --> 00:20:39,371
What are you supposed to feel?
531
00:20:39,471 --> 00:20:40,906
An electric shock or something?
532
00:20:41,006 --> 00:20:43,809
No, I'm trying to find out if I have any reaction ani--
533
00:20:43,909 --> 00:20:45,811
[sneeze]
534
00:20:50,282 --> 00:20:51,483
I'm not only allergic to my family,
535
00:20:51,583 --> 00:20:53,752
I'm allergic to my next door neighbor.
536
00:20:53,852 --> 00:20:56,388
But that's good.
537
00:20:56,488 --> 00:20:58,190
What are you talking about?
538
00:20:58,290 --> 00:20:59,958
What's he talking about?
539
00:21:00,058 --> 00:21:01,026
I think I'm allergic to Jerry.
540
00:21:01,126 --> 00:21:02,060
What?
541
00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:03,028
You're not making any sense.
542
00:21:03,128 --> 00:21:04,429
He's not making any sense.
543
00:21:04,529 --> 00:21:05,597
Jerry, give me a hug.
544
00:21:05,697 --> 00:21:06,632
A hug?
545
00:21:08,834 --> 00:21:09,901
Rob.
546
00:21:10,002 --> 00:21:11,470
[sneeze]
547
00:21:11,570 --> 00:21:14,039
Oh, oh, good, good.
548
00:21:14,139 --> 00:21:16,074
Oh, all right Millie, you're next.
549
00:21:16,174 --> 00:21:16,975
What?
550
00:21:17,075 --> 00:21:17,909
Give me a hug.
551
00:21:18,010 --> 00:21:18,844
Laura?
552
00:21:18,944 --> 00:21:19,778
Do as he says.
553
00:21:19,878 --> 00:21:20,512
Hey!
554
00:21:20,612 --> 00:21:24,583
Laura says I have to.
555
00:21:24,683 --> 00:21:27,252
[sneeze]
556
00:21:27,352 --> 00:21:29,655
Oh, boy, now we're getting somewhere.
557
00:21:29,755 --> 00:21:30,789
What?
558
00:21:30,889 --> 00:21:31,790
All right.
559
00:21:31,890 --> 00:21:33,592
All you people who make me sneeze
560
00:21:33,692 --> 00:21:35,193
on that side of the room.
561
00:21:35,293 --> 00:21:37,295
Are you still trying to find out what's making you sneeze?
562
00:21:37,396 --> 00:21:39,464
Yeah, with your permission, Doctor.
563
00:21:39,564 --> 00:21:41,433
And whatever it is that's making me sneeze,
564
00:21:41,533 --> 00:21:45,203
is something that you three and Richie have in common.
565
00:21:45,303 --> 00:21:46,338
Well, why didn't you say so?
566
00:21:46,438 --> 00:21:48,006
I thought you were going mad.
567
00:21:48,106 --> 00:21:49,608
I thought he was going mad.
568
00:21:49,708 --> 00:21:52,644
What do you three have in common?
569
00:21:52,744 --> 00:21:54,146
We all live in New Rochelle.
570
00:21:54,246 --> 00:21:55,914
No, no.
571
00:21:56,014 --> 00:21:56,982
We all three hugged you.
572
00:21:57,082 --> 00:21:58,116
That's right.
573
00:21:58,216 --> 00:21:59,518
And I hugged Richie earlier.
574
00:21:59,618 --> 00:22:01,219
Maybe it's something we all touched.
575
00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:02,854
We all touched. Good.
576
00:22:02,954 --> 00:22:03,822
Good, good.
577
00:22:03,922 --> 00:22:04,923
Now.
578
00:22:05,023 --> 00:22:07,492
Jerry, what did you and Millie and Richie
579
00:22:07,592 --> 00:22:09,294
come into contact with lately?
580
00:22:09,394 --> 00:22:10,896
I don't know.
581
00:22:10,996 --> 00:22:11,830
My son Freddy.
582
00:22:11,930 --> 00:22:12,931
Ah-ha!
583
00:22:13,031 --> 00:22:13,865
Ah!
584
00:22:13,965 --> 00:22:15,000
Now, Jerry.
585
00:22:15,100 --> 00:22:18,003
What did you and Millie and Richie and Freddy
586
00:22:18,103 --> 00:22:20,105
touch within the last hour, say.
587
00:22:20,205 --> 00:22:21,106
Now think hard.
588
00:22:21,206 --> 00:22:22,307
I don't have to think hard.
589
00:22:22,407 --> 00:22:24,076
The kitten.
590
00:22:24,176 --> 00:22:25,477
What kitten?
591
00:22:25,577 --> 00:22:27,279
Freddy and Richie's kitten.
592
00:22:27,379 --> 00:22:28,847
They're keeping a kitten?
593
00:22:28,947 --> 00:22:31,016
That's why they formed this club, to take care of the cat.
594
00:22:31,116 --> 00:22:33,118
One night Nog arrives, the next night [inaudible]..
595
00:22:33,218 --> 00:22:34,619
Yeah, we didn't know about it.
596
00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:36,354
I almost ran over it when I tried to put the car away.
597
00:22:36,455 --> 00:22:37,289
Jer, where is it now?
598
00:22:37,389 --> 00:22:38,423
It's in your garage.
599
00:22:38,523 --> 00:22:39,458
Well, that could be it, listen.
600
00:22:39,558 --> 00:22:40,859
Will you get it for me? And
601
00:22:40,959 --> 00:22:41,960
[sneeze]
602
00:22:42,060 --> 00:22:42,961
I'm sorry.
603
00:22:46,064 --> 00:22:47,132
I got it, OK.
604
00:22:47,232 --> 00:22:48,567
OK.
605
00:22:48,667 --> 00:22:53,972
Now come here little one and make your daddy sneeze.
606
00:22:54,072 --> 00:22:55,741
[sneeze]
607
00:22:55,841 --> 00:22:56,975
Oh, good.
608
00:22:57,075 --> 00:22:57,876
[sneeze]
609
00:22:57,976 --> 00:22:59,177
Good.
610
00:22:59,277 --> 00:23:00,779
[sneeze]
611
00:23:00,879 --> 00:23:01,847
This is it.
612
00:23:13,158 --> 00:23:15,727
[sneezing]
613
00:23:22,467 --> 00:23:24,202
Almost finished?
614
00:23:24,302 --> 00:23:25,871
Yeah, honey, I'm almost finished.
615
00:23:25,971 --> 00:23:27,172
Well, at least one good thing came
616
00:23:27,272 --> 00:23:28,407
out of my having an allergy, I got
617
00:23:28,507 --> 00:23:29,875
a great sketch here for Alan.
618
00:23:29,975 --> 00:23:30,842
Read this.
619
00:23:30,942 --> 00:23:32,444
He develops an allergy to his wife.
620
00:23:32,544 --> 00:23:34,012
Well, I just hope whoever you get
621
00:23:34,112 --> 00:23:36,848
to play my part is sympathetic, understanding, and generally
622
00:23:36,948 --> 00:23:37,983
adorable.
623
00:23:38,083 --> 00:23:40,085
Well, that may be impossible to cast.
624
00:23:40,185 --> 00:23:41,820
'Course unless you'd like to play yourself.
625
00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:42,888
Oh, no, no, no.
626
00:23:45,290 --> 00:23:46,525
- Daddy? - Yeah Rich.
627
00:23:46,625 --> 00:23:47,559
Hey, what are you playing with?
628
00:23:47,659 --> 00:23:48,527
My electric razor?
629
00:23:48,627 --> 00:23:49,694
It's your old one.
630
00:23:49,795 --> 00:23:50,762
Oh, OK.
631
00:23:50,862 --> 00:23:51,730
Daddy?
632
00:23:51,830 --> 00:23:53,131
Just second, Rich, Daddy's writing.
633
00:23:53,231 --> 00:23:55,500
Alan goes ca-choo.
634
00:23:59,337 --> 00:24:00,705
OK, Rich, what do you want?
635
00:24:00,806 --> 00:24:02,707
Is it truw what you said, that it's not the cat that
636
00:24:02,808 --> 00:24:04,509
makes you sneeze, it's the fur?
637
00:24:04,609 --> 00:24:06,645
That's right, Rich.
638
00:24:06,745 --> 00:24:09,114
Mommy, it's the fur that makes Daddy sneeze?
639
00:24:09,214 --> 00:24:10,549
Yes, dear.
640
00:24:10,649 --> 00:24:13,518
So if I can find a cat with no fur, I can keep it?
641
00:24:13,618 --> 00:24:15,086
Yeah, Rich.
642
00:24:15,187 --> 00:24:18,790
If you can find yourself a bald cat, you can hang on to it.
643
00:24:18,890 --> 00:24:20,458
Yay!
644
00:24:20,559 --> 00:24:22,727
Hey, Freddy!
645
00:24:22,828 --> 00:24:24,863
My daddy said it was OK!
646
00:24:32,938 --> 00:24:33,738
Richie!
647
00:24:33,839 --> 00:24:34,773
Richie!
648
00:24:49,087 --> 00:24:50,388
[MUSIC - END THEME, "THE
649
00:24:50,488 --> 00:24:52,824
DICK VAN DYKE SHOW"]
43666
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