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ANNOUNCER: "The Dick Van Dyke Show."
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( THEME MUSIC PLAYING )
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Richie, what's this?
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A dirt bomb.
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A dirt bomb?
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Looks like your dirt bomb exploded in your pocket.
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You need this?
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Yes, it's my lucky bottle cap.
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Richie, why didn't you show me this note
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from your teacher?
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Your daddy's been named "Father Of The Week" at school.
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Yeah.
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Well, isn't that wonderful?
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The 6th? That's tomorrow.
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Oh, honey, why didn't you tell us
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daddy had to be in school tomorrow?
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I forgot.
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I'd better call him.
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I just hope he can make it on such short notice.
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Can I have my rock?
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It's in the back pocket.
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What rock, Rich?
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A rock that doesn't sink.
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Here's your rock that doesn't sink, dear.
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That's called a cork.
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I know.
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Ma? Yes, honey?
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Will daddy be too busy to come to school tomorrow?
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Well, let's hope not.
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Hello, Rob? Guess what?
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You've been named "Father Of The Week"
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in Richie's class at school.
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Hey, how about that?
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Well, gang, it looks like "The Alan Brady Show"
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is winning all the big awards this year.
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I have just been elected the " Father Of The Week."
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Ooh, and I forgot to vote.
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Father Of The Week?
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How do you get to be that?
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First, you start off by having a baby.
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Hey, honey? What do I get,
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my portrait done in finger paints?
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Well, I'll tell you all about it
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when you get home, dear.
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All you have to do is be there at 1:30 tomorrow afternoon.
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Tomorrow afternoon!
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Honey, couldn't you have told me about it sooner?
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We have a meeting tomorrow afternoon.
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SALLY: Hey, Rob? Hold it, honey.
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Why can't we have tomorrow's meeting today?
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Good idea.
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We can't, we're having yesterday's meeting today.
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Rob, why can't we have tomorrow's meeting yesterday
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and yesterday's meeting day after tomorrow?
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That's possible.
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Look, honey-- wait a minute, we can't.
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Hold it, honey. Why?
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'cause I get my hair cut on Friday.
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Why can't you get your hair cut on Thursday?
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I grow it on Thursday.
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Yeah, I forgot.
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Well, gang, we'll work it out some way.
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Honey, we're trying to rearrange things.
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Well, I hope you can.
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Rich would die if you couldn't be there.
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Rob, if you could see him now, he's almost in tears.
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Oh my.
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Honey, look, tell him we'll arrange it somehow,
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even if I have to cut buddy's hair personally.
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Oh no, you don't.
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Nobody cuts my hair but my gardener.
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Gardener?
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No wonder his head looks like crab grass.
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Hey, that's good.
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Honey, don't worry, I'll be there.
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Oh, that's wonderful.
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You've just made a little boy very happy.
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See you tonight, honey.
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All right, bye. Bye.
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Hey, how about that?
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Father Of The Week.
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Well, don't look so sad, daddy's gonna be there.
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I don't want daddy to come.
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What did you say, Rich?
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I don't want daddy to come to school tomorrow.
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You don't want daddy to be there?
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No.
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Richie, why?
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Because the father's got to tell about his work
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and what'll daddy tell?
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Well, honey, daddy will tell about writing comedy
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for television.
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But he can't show 'em nothing.
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Well, he could show something.
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Could he show how he types?
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Yes, he could show that.
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That's nothing to show.
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Well, how about Freddie's father.
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He's a dentist, what did he show?
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He showed some fake teeth from a man without them
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and an X-ray of a big cuspidor.
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Honey, not cuspidor.
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It's bicuspid.
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What about Andy's father?
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He showed some corn on a big plaster foot.
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Well, Richie, I can assure you
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that your father will not just sit there and type.
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He'll do something.
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He could tell jokes or he could make funny faces.
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The teacher will say it's silly.
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No, she won't.
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Yes, she will.
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I don't want daddy to be there.
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Now, Richie, you know you don't mean that.
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Yes, I do.
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Richie, your daddy is coming to class tomorrow
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and he is gonna make a wonderful Father Of The Week.
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I won't be there.
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Why won't you be there?
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'cause I'm gonna have an upset stomach.
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Here he is, the Father Of The Week.
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Give me a kiss.
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You're silly.
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Yeah, he is.
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Hey, don't I get "hello"?
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Hello.
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What's the matter with Richie?
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That's the first time in his life he never came up
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and said, "Hey, didn't you bring me something?"
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Well, Richie has a little problem.
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Oh, a problem at his age.
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What did he do, lose his lucky rock?
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No, it's a little more serious than that.
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Hey, your eyebrows are in the frown position.
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Is it that serious?
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Yes, I'd say so.
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Okay, what's the problem?
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Well, it's this father of the week thing.
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Richie's upset about it.
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Well, didn't you tell him I'd be there?
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Hm-mm, that's why he's upset.
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You mean to tell me he's upset because I'm going?
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Shocked?
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Well, yeah.
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Why wouldn't he want me there?
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I'm not bad looking as fathers go.
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No, darling, it's not what you look like.
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It's what you do for a living.
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You mean to tell me he's ashamed
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of what I do for a living?
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Well, he's just afraid
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he's gonna be embarrassed about it
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when you tell the children what you do.
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When I tell the--
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I have to tell the children
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what I do for a living?
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Is that what the Father Of The Week does?
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Yes.
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What did you think you'd do?
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Well, I don't know.
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I thought maybe they'd give me an award
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or make me honorary window-pull monitor or something.
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I have to make a speech, huh?
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Well, just for 30 minutes.
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30 minutes?
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What do you talk to first graders about
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for a half an hour?
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You'll think of something, dear.
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The main problem, as I see it,
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is to get Richie to want you to go.
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He's really afraid I'll embarrass him, huh?
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He threatens to have an upset stomach if you go.
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I just don't understand that.
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Well, dear, he's just afraid that you'll be laughed at
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because all you can do is type.
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Well, I could tell jokes or make funny faces.
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And look silly?
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That's his biggest fear.
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Well, honey, what am I gonna do?
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I'm a comedy writer, I can't lie to 'em,
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tell 'em I'm a brain surgeon
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or a Marshall at Dodge City or something.
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No, you can't.
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I could just not show up.
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That would be worse.
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Yeah, that'd be admitting that Rich was right
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in being ashamed of me.
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I could talk to Richie.
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What would you say?
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I don't know, I'd try to convince him
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that I'm a great guy and he ought to be proud of me.
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Rich?
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Um, do you want me around?
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No, I got you convinced I'm a great guy.
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True.
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Well, I'll be here stirring things if you need me.
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Yeah, okay. Good luck.
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Thanks.
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Hey, Richie? Will you come here.
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Hi, pal.
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Come on over and sit down a minute.
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I want to talk to you.
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I said, "Hi, pal."
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Hi.
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How are you?
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Okay.
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Did you have a nice day at school?
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Okay.
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Good.
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Well, tomorrow's a big day, huh?
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Father Of The Week.
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You know, I went to an awful lot of trouble,
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rearranging a lot of meetings so I could be there tomorrow.
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It wasn't easy but I said, no, sir,
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I got to be at school for my son, for Rich.
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Gonna be Father Of The Week.
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That's a pretty big honor, isn't it, Rich,
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Father Of The Week?
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No, all the fathers were it already.
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I see. I'm the last father to be it, huh?
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Uh-huh. next week, they start mothers.
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Oh, I see.
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Rich, mama says that you don't want me to come.
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Now if you don't want me to come, I won't come.
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You mean that, daddy?
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Well, no.
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I didn't exactly mean it that way, Rich.
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I meant--
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why don't you want me to come, Rich?
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Is it because you're afraid I'll make a bad talk?
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Uh-huh.
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Well, Rich, daddy could talk about writing.
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What are you going to say?
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I'll say, "Mrs. Gibbon and members of the first grade,
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comedy writing, if you--
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if a young person wants to be a comedy writer--
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Well, say, if a person sits down at the typewriter
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and he wanted to--
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in writing a joke or a sketch or something,
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there's a construction that you--"
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( COUGHING )
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Is that the speech, daddy?
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Well, that's--
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I haven't rehearsed it yet, Rich.
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But that's gonna be the general theme.
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Rich, listen to me.
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There is no reason in the world
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why you shouldn't be proud of your daddy.
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Now your daddy's a very good television writer
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and very well thought of.
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And I might add, very well known in the television industry.
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Now I have been elected the Father Of The Week
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and I will come to your class tomorrow
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and accept that honor.
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And I forbid you to have an upset stomach.
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You heard that?
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Hm-mm.
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I don't think I convinced him to be proud of me.
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I don't think you did.
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Did you hear my speech to the class?
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Oh, yes.
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Shook your faith a little too, didn't it?
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A little, I'd work on that speech
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if I were you, darling.
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I don't have to. I am not going.
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Well, why should I?
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He doesn't want me there.
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00:10:28,694 --> 00:10:30,029
And I am sure not crazy about lecturing
269
00:10:30,062 --> 00:10:32,298
to a bunch of six-year-olds.
270
00:10:32,331 --> 00:10:33,466
I'll just forget about the whole thing
271
00:10:33,499 --> 00:10:35,935
and everybody will he happier, right?
272
00:10:35,968 --> 00:10:37,136
Right.
273
00:10:37,169 --> 00:10:39,038
Nobody likes to go someplace where they are not welcome.
274
00:10:39,071 --> 00:10:40,406
He's made it perfectly clear to me
275
00:10:40,439 --> 00:10:42,441
that he doesn't want me there, that he's ashamed of me.
276
00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:43,976
You can't force somebody to be proud of you
277
00:10:44,010 --> 00:10:45,778
if they're ashamed of you, can you?
278
00:10:45,811 --> 00:10:46,979
No, you can't.
279
00:10:47,013 --> 00:10:49,015
Ha, ha, you bet your life you can't.
280
00:10:49,048 --> 00:10:50,449
I'm not gonna put myself in a position
281
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:52,084
of begging to be admired.
282
00:10:52,118 --> 00:10:54,787
Now I didn't ask to be elected the Father Of The Week.
283
00:10:54,820 --> 00:10:56,055
I don't see why I have to accept it.
284
00:10:56,088 --> 00:10:57,823
It's not like you're being drafted
285
00:10:57,857 --> 00:10:59,825
as the president of the United States or something.
286
00:10:59,859 --> 00:11:00,860
Let 'em get some other father,
287
00:11:00,893 --> 00:11:03,462
some father whose kid happens to be proud of him.
288
00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:05,898
I've lived this long without being the Father Of The Week
289
00:11:05,931 --> 00:11:07,033
and I'm doing fine.
290
00:11:07,066 --> 00:11:10,036
Just fine.
291
00:11:10,069 --> 00:11:11,904
I'm not going.
292
00:11:13,839 --> 00:11:16,042
I'm not. I'm not going.
293
00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:21,180
How's this?
294
00:11:21,213 --> 00:11:26,318
"Mrs. Gibbon and members of the first--"
295
00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:27,987
I'm not going.
296
00:11:31,090 --> 00:11:33,959
I'm not going!
297
00:11:36,262 --> 00:11:37,530
All right, now, children.
298
00:11:37,563 --> 00:11:40,299
Quiet, quiet, let's come to order.
299
00:11:40,332 --> 00:11:43,135
Now then, Mr. Petrie, do sit down.
300
00:11:43,169 --> 00:11:44,904
Make yourself comfortable. Oh, thank you.
301
00:11:51,577 --> 00:11:53,145
Now then, class.
302
00:11:53,179 --> 00:11:56,482
We are about to meet Richie Petrie's daddy,
303
00:11:56,515 --> 00:12:00,186
who is our present Father Of The Week.
304
00:12:00,219 --> 00:12:03,289
And I want you children to pay strict attention
305
00:12:03,322 --> 00:12:05,224
to what Mr. Petrie has to say
306
00:12:05,257 --> 00:12:07,393
because he is going to tell us
307
00:12:07,426 --> 00:12:10,896
all about how to write comedy shows
308
00:12:10,930 --> 00:12:14,266
and how to make people laugh.
309
00:12:14,300 --> 00:12:15,101
Mr. Petrie?
310
00:12:15,134 --> 00:12:20,439
Oh, thank you very much, Mrs. Gibbon.
311
00:12:20,473 --> 00:12:22,274
Well, first of all,
312
00:12:22,308 --> 00:12:26,846
let me thank you for electing me the Father Of The Week.
313
00:12:27,913 --> 00:12:28,948
Uh, yes?
314
00:12:28,981 --> 00:12:30,483
We didn't elect you.
315
00:12:32,451 --> 00:12:33,552
Well, that was true.
316
00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:36,489
That's true, Floyd, that really is.
317
00:12:36,522 --> 00:12:41,227
You see, the children volunteer their daddies.
318
00:12:41,260 --> 00:12:42,928
Did Richie volunteer me?
319
00:12:42,962 --> 00:12:46,432
Well, no.
320
00:12:46,465 --> 00:12:48,834
We sort of asked him to
321
00:12:48,868 --> 00:12:52,972
since all the other daddies had already been here.
322
00:12:53,005 --> 00:12:55,374
My daddy's been here twice.
323
00:12:55,407 --> 00:12:56,542
Yes, yes, that's right.
324
00:12:56,575 --> 00:12:58,911
His daddy has been here twice.
325
00:12:58,944 --> 00:13:02,581
You see, Floyd's daddy is a jet airline pilot.
326
00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:06,318
Oh my, he just fascinated the children.
327
00:13:06,352 --> 00:13:09,288
I do hope you'll be as interesting as Captain Harper.
328
00:13:11,323 --> 00:13:14,226
Of course, I'm sure you will be.
329
00:13:14,260 --> 00:13:15,361
I hope so.
330
00:13:15,394 --> 00:13:18,164
Now, I'll just get my chair and I'll sit down here.
331
00:13:18,197 --> 00:13:19,532
Let me help you there, Mrs. Gibbon.
332
00:13:19,565 --> 00:13:22,568
Oh, well, thank you.
333
00:13:22,601 --> 00:13:24,436
Thank you very much.
334
00:13:24,470 --> 00:13:26,906
Now then, all right.
335
00:13:26,939 --> 00:13:28,908
Now you step right up on the platform
336
00:13:28,941 --> 00:13:31,577
and we'll sit and listen to what you have to say.
337
00:13:31,610 --> 00:13:35,214
Well, as I said, I'm very happy to be here.
338
00:13:35,247 --> 00:13:36,916
As you all know,
339
00:13:36,949 --> 00:13:41,353
I am a comedy writer on "The Alan Brady Show."
340
00:13:41,387 --> 00:13:44,490
How many of you have seen "The Alan Brady Show"?
341
00:13:49,929 --> 00:13:54,166
They're allowed to raise their hands, aren't they?
342
00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:55,968
Yes, of course, they are but, you see,
343
00:13:56,001 --> 00:13:58,671
the show is on rather late for them.
344
00:13:58,704 --> 00:14:01,207
Oh, that's right.
345
00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:04,410
You-- no one here has seen "The Alan Brady Show."
346
00:14:04,443 --> 00:14:08,914
Oh, Richie has seen the show, haven't you, Richie?
347
00:14:08,948 --> 00:14:10,316
Richie?
348
00:14:10,349 --> 00:14:11,984
Yes, I've seen it.
349
00:14:12,017 --> 00:14:13,319
Yes.
350
00:14:13,352 --> 00:14:15,588
Yes, he has seen it.
351
00:14:15,621 --> 00:14:17,590
All right now, Mr. Petrie.
352
00:14:17,623 --> 00:14:22,361
You tell us all about what a comedy writer does.
353
00:14:22,394 --> 00:14:24,463
Yeah. Well, first of all,
354
00:14:24,496 --> 00:14:29,568
a comedy writer writes jokes and writes sketches.
355
00:14:29,602 --> 00:14:30,703
What's a sketch?
356
00:14:30,736 --> 00:14:33,439
What's a sketch? Well, a sketch is--
357
00:14:33,472 --> 00:14:35,708
( CLEARING THROAT ) kind of like a skit.
358
00:14:35,741 --> 00:14:39,511
It's-- actually it's a series of comedic ideas
359
00:14:39,545 --> 00:14:43,215
with an underlying theme in it.
360
00:14:48,354 --> 00:14:50,589
You don't understand that, I don't think.
361
00:14:50,623 --> 00:14:51,991
They don't understand that?
362
00:14:56,528 --> 00:14:59,598
Well, you see, a comedy writer writes jokes
363
00:14:59,632 --> 00:15:03,002
and things that make people laugh.
364
00:15:03,035 --> 00:15:04,470
Why?
365
00:15:04,503 --> 00:15:05,337
Why, well,
366
00:15:05,371 --> 00:15:09,408
because, well, people like to laugh.
367
00:15:09,441 --> 00:15:10,709
( LAUGHING )
368
00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:11,710
Why?
369
00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:12,778
Why?
370
00:15:12,811 --> 00:15:16,682
Well, you see, laughing makes everybody feel good
371
00:15:16,715 --> 00:15:19,551
because-- you'll see, I feel good when I laugh too.
372
00:15:19,585 --> 00:15:21,387
( LAUGHING )
373
00:15:24,290 --> 00:15:28,193
Can you, uh, you do laugh, don't you?
374
00:15:28,227 --> 00:15:30,296
Why, yes, of course, they do.
375
00:15:30,329 --> 00:15:32,231
Why, when Captain Harper was here,
376
00:15:32,264 --> 00:15:34,033
he had them in stitches.
377
00:15:35,634 --> 00:15:40,205
He did tell some of the funniest stories.
378
00:15:40,239 --> 00:15:41,974
( LAUGHING ) We had him here twice.
379
00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:44,610
He was so amusing.
380
00:15:44,643 --> 00:15:47,446
I wish I could have been here.
381
00:15:52,418 --> 00:15:56,322
Well, you see, a comedy writer writes those funny stories
382
00:15:56,355 --> 00:15:59,358
that people like Captain Harper steal-- uh, tell.
383
00:16:01,527 --> 00:16:03,362
Can you write one now?
384
00:16:03,395 --> 00:16:04,396
Could I what?
385
00:16:04,430 --> 00:16:05,731
Can you write one now?
386
00:16:05,764 --> 00:16:07,633
Well, see, there's many different things
387
00:16:07,666 --> 00:16:09,301
that a comedy writer does.
388
00:16:09,335 --> 00:16:13,439
( LAUGHING )
389
00:16:13,472 --> 00:16:15,307
Good. You laughed then.
390
00:16:15,341 --> 00:16:16,608
Did you know why you laughed?
391
00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:17,743
Because that was unexpected.
392
00:16:17,776 --> 00:16:19,345
You didn't expect me to do that.
393
00:16:19,378 --> 00:16:20,212
Did you see that?
394
00:16:20,245 --> 00:16:21,613
Unexpected means that something happens
395
00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:23,449
that you didn't think would happen
396
00:16:23,482 --> 00:16:25,751
and it's kind of like a surprise, really.
397
00:16:25,784 --> 00:16:27,720
And that makes you laugh.
398
00:16:27,753 --> 00:16:30,489
For instance, if Mrs. Gibbon had said,
399
00:16:30,522 --> 00:16:32,658
"Children, we're gonna have some addition now,"
400
00:16:32,691 --> 00:16:37,629
and she said, "first of all, 1 and 1 are 12."
401
00:16:37,663 --> 00:16:39,598
( LAUGHING )
402
00:16:39,631 --> 00:16:41,266
See, I surprised you.
403
00:16:41,300 --> 00:16:42,568
That was the unexpected so you laugh.
404
00:16:42,601 --> 00:16:44,737
Of course, everybody knows that 1 and 1 are 11.
405
00:16:44,770 --> 00:16:47,272
( LAUGHING )
406
00:16:47,306 --> 00:16:48,407
Ha, ha, see?
407
00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:50,209
That's what the unexpected does.
408
00:16:50,242 --> 00:16:52,478
It makes you laugh because you don't expect that
409
00:16:52,511 --> 00:16:53,679
and it's a surprise.
410
00:16:53,712 --> 00:16:55,381
Now, when I came in the door and sat down,
411
00:16:55,414 --> 00:16:56,648
you didn't laugh, did you?
412
00:16:56,682 --> 00:16:58,617
Because there was nothing really funny,
413
00:16:58,650 --> 00:17:00,486
you expected me to do that.
414
00:17:00,519 --> 00:17:03,455
But what if I had come in this way?
415
00:17:03,489 --> 00:17:05,491
Just a minute, I'll be right back.
416
00:17:05,524 --> 00:17:06,458
Now watch carefully, children,
417
00:17:06,492 --> 00:17:09,428
this should be very funny now. ( CHUCKLES )
418
00:17:09,461 --> 00:17:12,364
( KNOCKING ON DOOR )
419
00:17:12,398 --> 00:17:13,665
( LAUGHING )
420
00:17:22,808 --> 00:17:23,609
See?
421
00:17:23,642 --> 00:17:26,311
That was unexpected and you laughed.
422
00:17:26,345 --> 00:17:29,214
So that's one way of making people laugh.
423
00:17:29,248 --> 00:17:31,216
( LAUGHING )
424
00:17:31,250 --> 00:17:33,585
Got you again.
425
00:17:33,619 --> 00:17:35,487
So you can surprise people and make 'em laugh.
426
00:17:35,521 --> 00:17:37,756
Now, another way to make people laugh
427
00:17:37,790 --> 00:17:39,758
is something familiar to them.
428
00:17:39,792 --> 00:17:40,626
If they see themselves
429
00:17:40,659 --> 00:17:43,395
or if they see something in other people
430
00:17:43,429 --> 00:17:45,631
that they recognize, they'll laugh at that too.
431
00:17:45,664 --> 00:17:50,369
Now, I'm going to do some movements for you, no words,
432
00:17:50,402 --> 00:17:52,704
just gestures and you'll have to try and guess
433
00:17:52,738 --> 00:17:54,840
what it is I'm doing, all right?
434
00:17:54,873 --> 00:17:57,476
I'll move this light table back.
435
00:18:00,279 --> 00:18:02,414
Well, we'll have to-- oh.
436
00:18:03,782 --> 00:18:05,617
All right, I'm gonna just do some movements
437
00:18:05,651 --> 00:18:10,222
and you have to tell me what I'm doing, all right.
438
00:18:10,255 --> 00:18:11,356
Putting on your shoes!
439
00:18:11,390 --> 00:18:12,758
That's right.
440
00:18:15,661 --> 00:18:16,662
Tying your shoelaces!
441
00:18:16,695 --> 00:18:17,763
That's right.
442
00:18:20,332 --> 00:18:22,601
Shoes are on the wrong feet, that's right.
443
00:18:22,634 --> 00:18:24,403
I'll have to change 'em.
444
00:18:28,373 --> 00:18:29,374
There.
445
00:18:29,408 --> 00:18:32,411
( CHILDREN ALL SHOUTING ANSWERS )
446
00:18:32,444 --> 00:18:34,313
That's right.
447
00:18:34,346 --> 00:18:36,648
Now, I'm gonna do another movement for you.
448
00:18:36,682 --> 00:18:37,783
This is called pantomime.
449
00:18:37,816 --> 00:18:41,353
It was invented by the Romans about 2,000 years ago,
450
00:18:41,386 --> 00:18:42,621
All right?
451
00:18:42,654 --> 00:18:46,291
Now, tell me what I'm doing.
452
00:18:46,325 --> 00:18:48,360
Throwing a baseball!
453
00:18:48,393 --> 00:18:49,761
That's right.
454
00:18:49,795 --> 00:18:53,765
CHILDREN: You're catching it!
455
00:18:53,799 --> 00:18:56,235
Throwing a ball!
456
00:18:56,268 --> 00:18:57,803
You're catching it!
457
00:18:57,836 --> 00:19:01,773
( CHILDREN ALL SHOUTING ANSWERS )
458
00:19:01,807 --> 00:19:03,275
Ooh!
459
00:19:05,277 --> 00:19:06,378
That's right.
460
00:19:09,681 --> 00:19:11,650
Now, what am I doing? Wait a minute.
461
00:19:13,685 --> 00:19:14,786
CHILDREN: bouncing a ball!
462
00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:16,488
Bouncing a ball.
463
00:19:16,522 --> 00:19:18,624
That's a tennis ball.
464
00:19:18,657 --> 00:19:20,659
Now I'm gonna be a tennis player now.
465
00:19:20,692 --> 00:19:22,561
Left-handed tennis player.
466
00:19:22,594 --> 00:19:24,396
This is gonna be in slow motion.
467
00:19:26,865 --> 00:19:28,834
Oh, it's a bad ball.
468
00:19:28,867 --> 00:19:30,269
Ooh!
469
00:19:35,274 --> 00:19:36,642
Now, a slow-motion tennis player.
470
00:19:36,675 --> 00:19:40,312
Here comes the serve.
471
00:19:40,345 --> 00:19:41,580
CHILD: You're batting it.
472
00:19:41,613 --> 00:19:43,682
CHILDREN: You're batting it.
473
00:19:51,290 --> 00:19:52,291
That's right.
474
00:19:52,324 --> 00:19:53,859
It went the wrong way, didn't it?
475
00:19:53,892 --> 00:19:58,263
Alright, now, how many have ever been to the circus?
476
00:19:58,297 --> 00:19:59,197
Have you?
477
00:19:59,231 --> 00:20:00,532
Alright, now I'm gonna do a circus act.
478
00:20:00,566 --> 00:20:02,601
First, you tell me what I'm doing now.
479
00:20:02,634 --> 00:20:03,835
CHILDREN: You're climbing a ladder!
480
00:20:03,869 --> 00:20:07,472
Climbing up the ladder, that's right.
481
00:20:07,506 --> 00:20:08,674
Oh!
482
00:20:08,707 --> 00:20:10,375
( SHOUTING )
483
00:20:10,409 --> 00:20:11,577
A lion bit me.
484
00:20:14,079 --> 00:20:16,348
Okay, here we are at the top.
485
00:20:16,381 --> 00:20:17,716
Hello, kids, down there!
486
00:20:17,749 --> 00:20:20,752
( LAUGHING )
487
00:20:20,786 --> 00:20:22,554
What am I doing?
488
00:20:22,588 --> 00:20:26,291
CHILDREN: Tightrope .
489
00:20:26,325 --> 00:20:27,392
Okay.
490
00:20:27,426 --> 00:20:29,461
( HUMMING )
491
00:20:29,494 --> 00:20:31,430
GIRL: Afraid you're gonna fall.
492
00:20:31,463 --> 00:20:33,065
I think I am afraid I'm gonna fall.
493
00:20:33,098 --> 00:20:34,066
Ha, ha, ha.
494
00:20:34,099 --> 00:20:35,367
Oh!
495
00:20:38,503 --> 00:20:39,571
Oh!
496
00:20:42,641 --> 00:20:43,742
All right, now.
497
00:20:43,775 --> 00:20:44,810
What have I got?
498
00:20:44,843 --> 00:20:46,311
CHILDREN: A bicycle!
499
00:20:46,345 --> 00:20:47,746
Have I got a bicycle?
500
00:20:47,779 --> 00:20:48,814
Okay, I'm going across.
501
00:20:48,847 --> 00:20:50,682
CHILDREN: You're riding it...
502
00:20:55,854 --> 00:20:58,790
Thank you. Ta-da!
503
00:20:58,824 --> 00:21:00,058
Oh, I beg your pardon, lady.
504
00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:01,426
( LAUGHING )
505
00:21:18,644 --> 00:21:20,612
CHILDREN: A yoyo!
506
00:21:20,646 --> 00:21:22,080
That's right.
507
00:21:22,114 --> 00:21:25,817
Round the world, over the falls, oh!
508
00:21:25,851 --> 00:21:28,120
CHILDREN: ( SHOUTING )
509
00:21:28,153 --> 00:21:29,354
My nose, that's right.
510
00:21:29,388 --> 00:21:30,689
( SCHOOL BELL RINGS )
511
00:21:30,722 --> 00:21:32,791
Oh, dear.
512
00:21:32,824 --> 00:21:35,127
The time is up already?
513
00:21:35,160 --> 00:21:37,562
Oh, Mr. Petrie, I can't tell you
514
00:21:37,596 --> 00:21:39,498
how much we enjoyed your little talk.
515
00:21:39,531 --> 00:21:40,699
Didn't we, children?
516
00:21:40,732 --> 00:21:43,535
CHILDREN: ( CLAPPING ) Yeah!
517
00:21:43,568 --> 00:21:46,371
It was so entertaining and so informative
518
00:21:46,405 --> 00:21:48,807
and, of course, we could listen to you all day
519
00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:51,510
but now we must all take off for recess.
520
00:21:51,543 --> 00:21:53,578
No!
521
00:21:53,612 --> 00:21:56,682
Children, children, please.
522
00:21:56,715 --> 00:21:57,716
My goodness.
523
00:21:57,749 --> 00:21:58,517
That's the first time
524
00:21:58,550 --> 00:22:02,487
I've ever heard them balk at recess.
525
00:22:02,521 --> 00:22:04,089
If we're very, very good,
526
00:22:04,122 --> 00:22:06,091
perhaps Mr. Petrie will come back sometime
527
00:22:06,124 --> 00:22:07,759
and pay us another visit, hm?
528
00:22:07,793 --> 00:22:11,430
CHILDREN: ( CLAPPING ) Yeah!
529
00:22:11,463 --> 00:22:14,433
Now then, children, say goodbye to Mr. Petrie.
530
00:22:14,466 --> 00:22:15,434
CHILDREN: Bye!
531
00:22:15,467 --> 00:22:16,501
Bye, kids.
532
00:22:16,535 --> 00:22:18,537
All right, now. Class is dismissed.
533
00:22:18,570 --> 00:22:19,671
Thank you for having me.
534
00:22:19,705 --> 00:22:20,706
Bye.
535
00:22:20,739 --> 00:22:22,074
Boy: Bye.
536
00:22:22,107 --> 00:22:23,108
Girl: Can you come home with me?
537
00:22:23,141 --> 00:22:24,409
I can't come home with you now.
538
00:22:24,443 --> 00:22:25,410
All right, boys. Come on now, hurry up.
539
00:22:25,444 --> 00:22:26,411
Will you come home with me?
540
00:22:26,445 --> 00:22:28,113
You won't have much time.
541
00:22:28,146 --> 00:22:29,548
Bye.
542
00:22:29,581 --> 00:22:30,582
Come on, son, that's it.
543
00:22:30,615 --> 00:22:32,117
You know, Mr. Petrie,
544
00:22:32,150 --> 00:22:34,720
the next time I see "The Alan Brady Show,"
545
00:22:34,753 --> 00:22:37,689
I'm going to watch for your name.
546
00:22:37,723 --> 00:22:39,891
And I just want you to know
547
00:22:39,925 --> 00:22:40,892
( LAUGHING )
548
00:22:40,926 --> 00:22:43,562
I must say that I think you were much funnier
549
00:22:43,595 --> 00:22:44,830
than Captain Harper.
550
00:22:44,863 --> 00:22:46,465
( LAUGHING )
551
00:22:51,136 --> 00:22:52,738
Phew.
552
00:22:52,771 --> 00:22:54,539
Rich, did you like my talk?
553
00:22:54,573 --> 00:22:55,707
Real good.
554
00:22:55,741 --> 00:22:57,743
Are you glad I came to your class today?
555
00:22:57,776 --> 00:22:58,744
Yup.
556
00:22:58,777 --> 00:23:00,145
Daddy? What?
557
00:23:00,178 --> 00:23:01,780
Did you bring me anything?
558
00:23:01,813 --> 00:23:03,081
Yeah, I did.
559
00:23:03,115 --> 00:23:06,485
I brought you a hug.
560
00:23:06,518 --> 00:23:07,853
Is that all?
561
00:23:07,886 --> 00:23:09,221
Well, what else would you like?
562
00:23:09,254 --> 00:23:10,455
A kiss.
563
00:23:10,489 --> 00:23:11,790
Okay.
564
00:23:11,823 --> 00:23:13,692
Yay!
565
00:23:13,725 --> 00:23:15,727
Come on, pal. Let's go out to recess.
566
00:23:25,804 --> 00:23:26,772
Well, what did daddy do?
567
00:23:26,805 --> 00:23:28,106
Nothing, but he was good.
568
00:23:28,140 --> 00:23:29,708
And did all the children like daddy?
569
00:23:29,741 --> 00:23:30,742
Yup.
570
00:23:30,776 --> 00:23:31,743
But who liked daddy the best?
571
00:23:31,777 --> 00:23:32,844
Mrs. Gibbon.
572
00:23:36,848 --> 00:23:40,085
Mrs. Gibbon, your teacher, liked daddy the best?
573
00:23:40,118 --> 00:23:41,553
Hi, gang.
574
00:23:41,586 --> 00:23:42,921
Did you bring me anything, daddy?
575
00:23:42,954 --> 00:23:44,556
As a matter of fact, I did.
576
00:23:44,589 --> 00:23:45,690
What is it, daddy?
577
00:23:45,724 --> 00:23:46,725
That's my autograph.
578
00:23:46,758 --> 00:23:47,759
Yay!
579
00:23:47,793 --> 00:23:48,927
Agh!
580
00:23:51,062 --> 00:23:52,697
Ah-hah, fooled you.
581
00:23:52,731 --> 00:23:53,965
You know why you laughed at that?
582
00:23:53,999 --> 00:23:55,133
It was unexpected.
583
00:23:55,167 --> 00:23:56,701
What are you talking about?
584
00:23:56,735 --> 00:23:57,969
That's just part of my lecture
585
00:23:58,003 --> 00:23:59,671
on the art of comedy writing.
586
00:23:59,704 --> 00:24:01,173
Well, Richie didn't tell me what you did
587
00:24:01,206 --> 00:24:03,675
but, from what I understand, Mrs. Gibbon has decided
588
00:24:03,708 --> 00:24:05,944
that comedy writers are almost as good as people.
589
00:24:05,977 --> 00:24:07,679
You heard right.
590
00:24:07,712 --> 00:24:09,881
Well, what did you do to captivate her so?
591
00:24:09,915 --> 00:24:11,817
Oh, the same thing I do to captivate you.
592
00:24:11,850 --> 00:24:14,586
Yeah, I ran up to her and I threw my arms around her.
593
00:24:14,619 --> 00:24:16,054
I said, "Mrs. Gibbon, I love you.
594
00:24:17,189 --> 00:24:18,657
If you don't give my boy good grades,
595
00:24:18,690 --> 00:24:21,760
I'll never do this again."
596
00:24:23,094 --> 00:24:24,963
That's pantomime.
597
00:24:24,996 --> 00:24:26,698
Oh. do that again.
598
00:24:26,731 --> 00:24:27,732
All right.
599
00:24:27,766 --> 00:24:29,868
( MUSIC PLAYING )
600
00:24:40,111 --> 00:24:42,981
( THEME MUSIC PLAYING )
40917
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