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1
00:00:09,531 --> 00:00:11,621
ALL RIGHT,
LAST BUT CERTAINLY NOT LEAST,
2
00:00:11,748 --> 00:00:14,448
LET'S GIVE IT UP FOR
OUR VERY OWN SPOKEN WORD BEAST,
3
00:00:14,575 --> 00:00:16,405
JOE HOBBS.
4
00:00:16,532 --> 00:00:19,052
[applause]
5
00:00:19,185 --> 00:00:21,235
MR. MUMBRUE
CALLS ME UP.
6
00:00:21,359 --> 00:00:23,749
HE SAYS, "EXPRESS YOURSELF,
IF YOU PLEASE."
7
00:00:23,881 --> 00:00:27,411
SO I TAKE MY TIME
TO FIND A RHYME
8
00:00:27,534 --> 00:00:29,714
FOR A YUMMY HUNK
OF CHEESE.
9
00:00:29,839 --> 00:00:31,489
ANYBODY GOT SOME CHEESE?
10
00:00:31,622 --> 00:00:33,012
[laughter]
11
00:00:33,144 --> 00:00:34,544
WELL, THAT IS
VERY GOUDA, JOE,
12
00:00:34,666 --> 00:00:38,496
BUT I THINK
YOU CAN DO CHEDDAR.
13
00:00:38,623 --> 00:00:39,883
ALL RIGHT,
LET'S GET SERIOUS.
14
00:00:40,015 --> 00:00:41,365
JOE, REMEMBER
WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT?
15
00:00:41,493 --> 00:00:44,193
WITH SPOKEN WORD POETRY,
YOU NEED A PERSONAL CONNECTION
16
00:00:44,320 --> 00:00:46,230
TO WHAT YOU'RE SAYING.
17
00:00:46,364 --> 00:00:48,544
TALK ABOUT SOMETHING
YOU'RE PASSIONATE ABOUT.
18
00:00:48,668 --> 00:00:50,628
SOMETHING
THAT EMBARRASSED YOU.
19
00:00:50,756 --> 00:00:52,626
MAYBE SOMETHING
YOU REGRET?
20
00:00:52,756 --> 00:00:56,766
WELL, LAST WEEK, I HID
SOMETHING FROM MY LITTLE SISTER.
21
00:00:56,888 --> 00:01:00,458
OKAY, AND THAT'S
SOMETHING YOU REGRET.
22
00:01:00,584 --> 00:01:03,624
WELL, I REGRET
SHE HASN'T FOUND IT YET.
23
00:01:03,758 --> 00:01:06,718
GOOD, HOW DOES IT FEEL
TO SAY THAT OUT LOUD?
24
00:01:06,846 --> 00:01:08,896
WELL, I CAN TELL YOU
THIS MUCH.
25
00:01:09,021 --> 00:01:11,061
IT DOESN'T MAKE ME PROUD,
26
00:01:11,195 --> 00:01:13,585
AND I'M ASHAMED
IN FRONT OF THIS CROWD.
27
00:01:13,717 --> 00:01:16,457
IT'S NOT EASY
TO SAY HOW I FEEL,
28
00:01:16,587 --> 00:01:19,937
BUT IF I'M GONNA STEP UP,
I'VE GOTTA BE REAL.
29
00:01:20,066 --> 00:01:22,986
[applause]
30
00:01:23,110 --> 00:01:24,890
GREAT.
YOU, SIR, ARE A NATURAL,
31
00:01:25,024 --> 00:01:27,154
WHICH IS WHY YOU WILL
BE REPRESENTING THIS CLASS
32
00:01:27,285 --> 00:01:29,025
AT THE SPOKEN WORD NIGHT.
33
00:01:29,154 --> 00:01:30,544
ME?
THANKS, MR. MUMBRUE.
34
00:01:30,676 --> 00:01:31,596
[applause]
35
00:01:31,720 --> 00:01:34,630
[bell rings]
36
00:01:36,069 --> 00:01:38,639
WOW, JOE.
YOU'RE REALLY DEEP.
37
00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:40,595
- YOU REALLY THINK SO?
- I REALLY DO.
38
00:01:40,722 --> 00:01:41,672
YOU REALLY DO?
39
00:01:41,809 --> 00:01:43,509
SHE REALLY DOES.
40
00:01:43,636 --> 00:01:44,816
DAD.
41
00:01:44,940 --> 00:01:45,810
SEE YOU, JOE.
42
00:01:45,940 --> 00:01:47,640
OKAY, SEE YOU, VIOLET...
43
00:01:47,766 --> 00:01:49,116
WHICH RHYMES WITH PILOT,
44
00:01:49,245 --> 00:01:50,545
NOT THAT I'VE EVER TRIED
TO RHYME YOUR NAME,
45
00:01:50,680 --> 00:01:52,120
BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE CREEPY.
46
00:01:52,246 --> 00:01:53,816
REMEMBER.
47
00:01:53,941 --> 00:01:57,721
I'M DEEP-Y.
48
00:01:57,855 --> 00:02:00,335
JUST WALK IT OFF, BUDDY.
49
00:02:00,465 --> 00:02:01,595
HEY, MR. MUMBRUE.
50
00:02:01,726 --> 00:02:03,506
DAVID HOBBS.
- PLEASE, CALL ME MAURY.
51
00:02:03,639 --> 00:02:05,339
I'M A BIG FAN, MR. HOBBS.
52
00:02:05,466 --> 00:02:06,596
WHY, THANK YOU.
I APPRECIATE IT.
53
00:02:06,727 --> 00:02:08,167
I'M A FAN
OF WHAT YOU'RE DOING HERE.
54
00:02:08,293 --> 00:02:10,253
IT'S REALLY GREAT, AND--
AND HE'S REALLY INTO IT.
55
00:02:10,380 --> 00:02:13,690
WELL, JOE MAKES TEACHING
A PLEASURE, MR. HOBBS.
56
00:02:13,815 --> 00:02:15,635
SO, MAURY, IF THERE'S ANYTHING
I COULD EVER DO TO RECIPROCATE,
57
00:02:15,772 --> 00:02:18,132
PLEASE DON'T HESITATE.
58
00:02:18,251 --> 00:02:19,771
- REALLY?
- YEAH.
59
00:02:19,903 --> 00:02:22,513
BECAUSE I WROTE
A SCREENPLAY,
60
00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:25,043
AND I WOULD LOVE TO GET
A PROFESSIONAL OPINION.
61
00:02:25,165 --> 00:02:26,645
WOULD YOU MIND?
62
00:02:26,774 --> 00:02:27,644
WOULD I MIND?
63
00:02:27,774 --> 00:02:28,944
NO.
NOT AT ALL.
64
00:02:29,079 --> 00:02:30,389
IS IT ANY GOOD?
65
00:02:30,514 --> 00:02:32,554
NO, NOT AT ALL.
66
00:02:32,688 --> 00:02:35,568
[upbeat music]
67
00:02:35,688 --> 00:02:43,698
♪
68
00:02:56,041 --> 00:02:58,391
[groans]
69
00:02:58,519 --> 00:03:01,129
OH. OH!
70
00:03:01,259 --> 00:03:02,609
- DAVID, PLEASE STOP THAT.
- OH, WHAT?
71
00:03:02,738 --> 00:03:04,778
THE WORDS ARE LITERALLY
HURTING MY FEELINGS, HONEY.
72
00:03:04,912 --> 00:03:06,522
I MEAN, THIS IS--
73
00:03:06,651 --> 00:03:08,521
THIS IS
THE WORST SCRIPT EVER.
74
00:03:08,652 --> 00:03:09,692
WHAT'S THE GENRE?
75
00:03:09,826 --> 00:03:12,356
- BOREDOM.
- MM.
76
00:03:12,479 --> 00:03:13,909
- YOU READY FOR IT?
- MM-HMM. MM-HMM.
77
00:03:14,044 --> 00:03:16,524
{\an8}THE TEACHER TRIP.
78
00:03:16,653 --> 00:03:18,823
IT'S AN ACTIONLESS,
ADVENTURE-FREE STORY
79
00:03:18,957 --> 00:03:21,747
ABOUT A GROUP OF ENGLISH
TEACHERS WHO TAKE A ROAD TRIP
80
00:03:21,871 --> 00:03:25,701
AND TALK NONSTOP ABOUT SOME GUY
NAMED LEO TOLSTOY.
81
00:03:25,829 --> 00:03:27,699
OOH, YIKES.
82
00:03:27,829 --> 00:03:30,829
IS THERE AT LEAST
SOME ROMANCE OR A CAR CHASE?
83
00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:32,230
WELL, THERE IS
A TOPLESS SCENE,
84
00:03:32,352 --> 00:03:34,742
BUT SPOILER ALERT,
IT'S LEO TOLSTOY.
85
00:03:34,873 --> 00:03:35,963
DAVID, WHAT ARE
YOU GONNA TELL HIM?
86
00:03:36,092 --> 00:03:37,312
I MEAN...
- [sighs]
87
00:03:37,439 --> 00:03:38,439
YOU HAVE TO HANDLE THIS
THE RIGHT WAY,
88
00:03:38,571 --> 00:03:40,491
OTHERWISE,
YOU'RE JUST GONNA RUIN
89
00:03:40,614 --> 00:03:43,004
JOE'S RELATIONSHIP
WITH HIS FAVORITE TEACHER.
90
00:03:43,137 --> 00:03:44,487
- HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?
- HMM.
91
00:03:44,615 --> 00:03:45,835
I WAS JUST TRYING
TO DO SOMETHING NICE.
92
00:03:45,963 --> 00:03:48,313
OH, HONEY, WHY START NOW?
93
00:03:48,441 --> 00:03:50,351
YOU'VE BEEN SO SUCCESSFUL
WITHOUT RESORTING TO THAT.
94
00:03:50,486 --> 00:03:51,526
- I KNOW.
- YEP.
95
00:03:51,660 --> 00:03:53,750
- WHAT WAS I THINKING?
- MM.
96
00:03:53,877 --> 00:03:54,747
WELL, AS SOON
AS I FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO
97
00:03:54,877 --> 00:03:56,267
WITH THIS WHOLE
MUMBRUE SITUATION,
98
00:03:56,400 --> 00:03:58,280
I'M NEVER DOING
A NICE THING AGAIN.
99
00:03:58,400 --> 00:04:01,270
AH, THERE'S THE MAN
I FELL IN LOVE WITH.
100
00:04:05,532 --> 00:04:07,842
EMILY, WILL YOU PLEASE
READ ME THIS BOOK?
101
00:04:07,967 --> 00:04:09,187
OH, NOT NOW.
102
00:04:09,316 --> 00:04:11,886
BUT ALL I CAN READ
IS THE PICTURES.
103
00:04:12,011 --> 00:04:15,011
O.M.G., OLIVIA
JUST SENT ME THE FUNNIEST TEXT.
104
00:04:15,143 --> 00:04:17,623
WILL YOU
AT LEAST READ ME THAT?
105
00:04:17,752 --> 00:04:19,672
HEY, MARCUS, I ASKED YOU
TO HELP ME WITH THE GROCERIES,
106
00:04:19,795 --> 00:04:21,405
NOT HELP YOURSELF
TO THE GROCERIES.
107
00:04:21,535 --> 00:04:23,665
MAN, YOU KNOW I CAN'T RESIST
THE RIGHT PINK LADY.
108
00:04:23,796 --> 00:04:24,796
MAN.
- UH-HUH.
109
00:04:24,927 --> 00:04:27,417
SPEAKING OF PINK LADIES...
110
00:04:27,536 --> 00:04:31,236
LADIES, THERE ARE MORE BAGS
IN THE CAR.
111
00:04:31,363 --> 00:04:33,103
THANK YOU.
112
00:04:33,233 --> 00:04:35,013
WHEN MOM STAYED HOME,
SHE DID ALL THAT STUFF HERSELF.
113
00:04:35,147 --> 00:04:36,277
YES, AND THAT'S WHY
SHE WANTED
114
00:04:36,408 --> 00:04:39,108
TO GO BACK TO WORK
VERY BADLY.
115
00:04:39,234 --> 00:04:40,674
HEY, HONEY, WILL YOU CLEAN
YOUR ROOM FOR ME, PLEASE?
116
00:04:40,799 --> 00:04:44,149
- ANYTHING FOR YOU, DADDY.
- THANK YOU.
117
00:04:46,757 --> 00:04:48,287
SHE'S SO SWEET,
YOU KNOW.
118
00:04:48,410 --> 00:04:50,150
I SHOULD GET HER TO DETAIL
MY CAR, YOU KNOW?
119
00:04:50,279 --> 00:04:51,539
THOSE LITTLE HANDS OF HERS,
SHE CAN GET BETWEEN THE SEATS
120
00:04:51,671 --> 00:04:53,591
AND GET ALL THOSE FRENCH FRIES
THAT I DROP.
121
00:04:53,715 --> 00:04:55,365
[chuckles]
122
00:04:55,498 --> 00:04:56,718
HEY, DAVID,
CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION?
123
00:04:56,846 --> 00:04:58,326
YEAH, ABSOLUTELY.
124
00:04:58,455 --> 00:05:00,415
WELL, AS YOU KNOW,
I KINDA WANNA BE A WRITER.
125
00:05:00,542 --> 00:05:02,802
AND I HEARD THAT YOU AGREED TO
READ JOE'S TEACHER'S SCREENPLAY,
126
00:05:02,934 --> 00:05:03,804
SO I W--
- WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!
127
00:05:03,934 --> 00:05:05,244
YOU DID WHAT, DAVID?
128
00:05:05,369 --> 00:05:08,459
OH, YOU KNOW NOTHING GOOD
EVER COMES
129
00:05:08,588 --> 00:05:10,588
FROM READING
SOMEBODY'S SCREENPLAY.
130
00:05:10,718 --> 00:05:12,068
HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW
IT WAS GONNA BE TERRIBLE?
131
00:05:12,197 --> 00:05:14,337
OH, THEY ALL
ARE TERRIBLE!
132
00:05:14,458 --> 00:05:15,328
BELIEVE ME,
THE NEXT TIME
133
00:05:15,458 --> 00:05:16,808
ANYBODY ASKS ME
TO READ ANYTHING--
134
00:05:16,937 --> 00:05:18,547
A SCRIPT, I DON'T CARE--
I'M GONNA THROW IT
135
00:05:18,676 --> 00:05:20,416
RIGHT BACK IN THEIR FACE.
136
00:05:20,546 --> 00:05:22,066
LOOK, DAVID.
137
00:05:22,198 --> 00:05:24,338
DAVID, YOU GOTTA
BOB AND WEAVE, MAN.
138
00:05:24,460 --> 00:05:26,020
SOMEONE ASKS ME,
I ALWAYS TELL 'EM,
139
00:05:26,156 --> 00:05:27,596
"YOU GOT
THE WRONG MARCUS BARNES."
140
00:05:27,721 --> 00:05:28,891
BOB.
141
00:05:29,026 --> 00:05:30,286
"I AM DR. MARCUS BARNES."
142
00:05:30,418 --> 00:05:32,808
WEAVE.
143
00:05:32,940 --> 00:05:35,030
- WHAT KIND OF DOCTOR?
- PROCTOLOGIST.
144
00:05:35,158 --> 00:05:36,118
REALLY?
145
00:05:36,245 --> 00:05:37,425
WHY NOT A NEUROLOGIST?
- NO, NO, NO.
146
00:05:37,549 --> 00:05:39,109
I DON'T WANNA
IMPRESS THE PEOPLE.
147
00:05:39,246 --> 00:05:40,516
YOU SAY NEUROLOGIST--
"OH, WHAT TYPE OF SCHOO--"
148
00:05:40,637 --> 00:05:42,987
NO, I WANNA STOP
THE CONVERSATION RIGHT THERE.
149
00:05:43,116 --> 00:05:46,466
NOBODY WANNA TALK
ABOUT THEIR BUTT PROBLEMS.
150
00:05:46,595 --> 00:05:47,815
THE BEST THING
FOR ME TO DO
151
00:05:47,943 --> 00:05:49,593
IS JUST TELL THE GUY
HIS SCRIPT IS HORRIBLE
152
00:05:49,725 --> 00:05:51,775
AND CRUSH HIS DREAMS
BEFORE HE THINKS HE HAS ANY SHOT
153
00:05:51,899 --> 00:05:53,289
OF MAKING IT
IN SHOW BUSINESS.
154
00:05:53,422 --> 00:05:55,122
YOU GONNA TELL HIM
THE TRUTH, HUH?
155
00:05:55,249 --> 00:05:56,249
OF COURSE NOT.
156
00:05:56,379 --> 00:05:58,119
I'M JUST GONNA AVOID
THE GUY--BOB--
157
00:05:58,249 --> 00:05:59,429
UNTIL JOE GRADUATES.
158
00:05:59,553 --> 00:06:01,113
WEAVE.
- WHOO!
159
00:06:01,250 --> 00:06:02,380
I WAS LIKE JOE FRAZIER,
WASN'T I?
160
00:06:02,511 --> 00:06:03,731
YEAH, THAT WAS A GOOD ONE.
[both laugh]
161
00:06:03,859 --> 00:06:06,599
HEY, DAD, I SAW YOU READING
MR. MUMBRUE'S SCRIPT.
162
00:06:06,728 --> 00:06:08,858
DID YOU LIKE IT? WAS IT GREAT?
DID YOU CALL HIM?
163
00:06:08,990 --> 00:06:10,820
SO MANY QUESTIONS.
164
00:06:10,947 --> 00:06:14,037
I'MA TAKE THIS OPPORTUNITY
TO BOB AND LEAVE.
165
00:06:14,165 --> 00:06:16,255
[mumbles with mouth full]
- ALL RIGHT, I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
166
00:06:16,383 --> 00:06:19,823
HEY, HOW'S YOUR, UM,
HOW'S YOUR PIECE
167
00:06:19,949 --> 00:06:21,599
FOR MUMBRUE'S CLASS COMING?
168
00:06:21,731 --> 00:06:23,001
NOT GREAT.
169
00:06:23,123 --> 00:06:25,643
KINDA HAVING A HARD TIME
COMING UP WITH DEEP FEELINGS.
170
00:06:25,776 --> 00:06:27,516
MOSTLY I JUST WANT THE GIRLS
TO THINK I'M AWESOME,
171
00:06:27,645 --> 00:06:29,175
BUT THAT'S NOT DEEP
AT ALL.
172
00:06:29,298 --> 00:06:30,858
IT'S NOT?
173
00:06:30,994 --> 00:06:32,734
HUH.
174
00:06:32,864 --> 00:06:35,164
AND AWESOME
IS REALLY HARD TO RHYME.
175
00:06:35,299 --> 00:06:36,649
WHAT--WELL, NOT REALLY.
HANG ON, JOE.
176
00:06:36,778 --> 00:06:38,128
UM, LET'S SEE.
177
00:06:38,257 --> 00:06:41,397
I'LL HAVE A--
I'LL HAVE A BUCKET OF JOE
178
00:06:41,518 --> 00:06:45,868
WITH A SIDE
OF COLESLAW-SOME.
179
00:06:45,997 --> 00:06:48,257
YEAH, I THINK I'M GONNA ASK
MR. MUMBRUE FOR SOME HELP.
180
00:06:48,389 --> 00:06:49,569
WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
181
00:06:49,694 --> 00:06:51,264
COME ON, IT'S COLESLAW,
AND IT'S AWESOME.
182
00:06:51,389 --> 00:06:54,129
IT'S COLESLAW-SOME.
YOU'LL BE BACK.
183
00:06:56,303 --> 00:06:58,913
JOE, I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU
AT SPOKEN WORD NIGHT.
184
00:06:59,043 --> 00:07:00,303
YOU'RE GONNA BE--
- TIGHT?
185
00:07:00,435 --> 00:07:01,605
OUTTA SIGHT?
186
00:07:01,739 --> 00:07:02,829
DYNAMITE?
187
00:07:02,957 --> 00:07:05,437
I WAS GONNA SAY AWESOME.
188
00:07:05,566 --> 00:07:07,306
RIGHT.
189
00:07:07,436 --> 00:07:10,736
AWESOME LIKE...
COLESLAW-SOME?
190
00:07:14,437 --> 00:07:15,617
I NEED YOUR HELP
WITH MY SPOKEN WORD.
191
00:07:15,741 --> 00:07:17,701
YEAH.
I HEARD.
192
00:07:17,829 --> 00:07:19,179
AFTER SCHOOL.
193
00:07:19,308 --> 00:07:22,218
MR. MUMBRUE, PLEASE REPORT
TO THE TEACHERS' LOUNGE.
194
00:07:22,352 --> 00:07:24,362
YOU LEFT YOUR UNWASHED MUG
IN THE SINK.
195
00:07:24,482 --> 00:07:25,782
UH, THANKS.
196
00:07:25,917 --> 00:07:28,137
EXCUSE ME, CLASS,
BUT I DO NOT NEED ANOTHER ONE
197
00:07:28,266 --> 00:07:30,966
OF PRINCIPAL GILMORE'S
MUG DEMERITS.
198
00:07:35,137 --> 00:07:37,097
DAD, WAS THAT YOU
ON THE P.A. SYSTEM?
199
00:07:37,224 --> 00:07:38,704
CAN'T TALK RIGHT NOW, JOE.
YOU FORGOT YOUR LUNCH.
200
00:07:38,833 --> 00:07:41,533
FALSE ALARM, MY MUG WAS
IN THE DRYING RACK, SO--
201
00:07:41,659 --> 00:07:43,699
OH, HI!
- OH.
202
00:07:43,834 --> 00:07:45,314
MR. HOBBS,
WHAT BRINGS YOU HERE?
203
00:07:45,443 --> 00:07:48,843
WELL, UH, I WAS, UM--
JOE FORGOT HIS LUNCH.
204
00:07:48,965 --> 00:07:49,835
IT WAS GOOD SEEING YOU.
- OH.
205
00:07:49,966 --> 00:07:51,796
I WAS HOPING
YOU HAD COME BY
206
00:07:51,922 --> 00:07:53,052
TO TALK ABOUT MY SCRIPT.
207
00:07:53,184 --> 00:07:54,624
YOU DIDN'T HAPPEN
TO READ IT YET, DID YA?
208
00:07:54,749 --> 00:07:56,529
WELL, SEE,
HERE'S THE THING.
209
00:07:56,662 --> 00:08:00,752
IT--WRITING IS A--
IT'S VERY, VERY DIFFICULT.
210
00:08:00,881 --> 00:08:01,931
OH, TELL ME ABOUT IT.
211
00:08:02,055 --> 00:08:06,185
I PUT SIX YEARS OF MY LIFE
INTO THIS.
212
00:08:06,316 --> 00:08:09,666
I JUST HOPE
IT WAS WORTH IT.
213
00:08:09,796 --> 00:08:12,666
WELL, IT WAS.
IT WAS--IT WAS GREAT.
214
00:08:12,796 --> 00:08:14,446
YOU SHOULD BE
VERY PROUD OF YOURSELF.
215
00:08:14,579 --> 00:08:15,929
- REALLY?
- YEAH.
216
00:08:16,058 --> 00:08:16,928
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
217
00:08:17,058 --> 00:08:18,718
OKAY, OKAY,
SO YOU LIKED IT
218
00:08:18,840 --> 00:08:20,840
WHEN THE ENGLISH TEACHERS' VAN
BROKE DOWN,
219
00:08:20,972 --> 00:08:23,632
AND THEY TAUGHT THAT...
[chokes up]
220
00:08:23,754 --> 00:08:27,584
THAT SOCIALLY AWKWARD MECHANIC
HOW TO COMPARE LITERATURE?
221
00:08:27,712 --> 00:08:31,362
OH, YEAH.
I WAS RIVETED.
222
00:08:31,495 --> 00:08:34,805
THANK YOU.
THAT IS ALL I NEEDED TO HEAR.
223
00:08:34,930 --> 00:08:38,670
MOM, DAVID HOBBS
224
00:08:38,801 --> 00:08:39,941
LIKED MY SCRIPT!
225
00:08:40,062 --> 00:08:41,282
YOU'RE TEXTING
YOUR MOTHER?
226
00:08:41,410 --> 00:08:42,750
OH, WELL, YEAH,
THIS IS BIG NEWS FOR ME.
227
00:08:42,889 --> 00:08:44,189
PLUS, MY MOM
IS A HUGE FAN.
228
00:08:44,324 --> 00:08:46,324
SHE SAYS YOU
JUST GET CUTER EVERY DAY.
229
00:08:46,455 --> 00:08:47,725
OH, WELL,
HANG ON A SECOND THEN.
230
00:08:47,846 --> 00:08:48,796
WHY DON'T YOU TEXT
YOUR MOTHER,
231
00:08:48,933 --> 00:08:50,633
"MOM, DAVID HOBBS
LOVED MY SCRIPT?"
232
00:08:50,759 --> 00:08:52,369
ALL RIGHT.
233
00:08:52,499 --> 00:08:55,249
LET'S SEND A PICTURE
TO YOUR MOM, THERE WE GO.
234
00:08:59,674 --> 00:09:00,944
JANIE, I CAN'T FIND MY PHONE.
DID YOU SEE IT?
235
00:09:01,066 --> 00:09:02,366
ME?
236
00:09:02,501 --> 00:09:03,851
NO.
237
00:09:03,980 --> 00:09:05,680
BUT I'LL HELP YOU LOOK.
238
00:09:05,806 --> 00:09:07,376
THANK YOU.
239
00:09:12,329 --> 00:09:13,289
THIS IS FUN,
240
00:09:13,416 --> 00:09:16,196
JUST YOU AND ME
LOOKING FOR STUFF.
241
00:09:16,330 --> 00:09:19,640
ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS IT'S
OUT THERE ALONE, WITHOUT ME,
242
00:09:19,765 --> 00:09:21,985
ITS BATTERY
SLOWLY DRAINING.
243
00:09:22,114 --> 00:09:24,334
[stuffed animal buzzing]
244
00:09:24,462 --> 00:09:27,122
HMM, HMM.
245
00:09:27,245 --> 00:09:31,295
IF I WERE A PHONE,
WHERE WOULD I BE?
246
00:09:38,029 --> 00:09:40,949
YEAH, I HANDLED THE MUMBRUE
SITUATION LIKE A PRO, HONEY.
247
00:09:41,074 --> 00:09:43,644
HE'S HAPPY, I'M HAPPY,
248
00:09:43,769 --> 00:09:45,249
AND JOE'S RELATIONSHIP
249
00:09:45,379 --> 00:09:47,069
WITH HIS FAVORITE TEACHER
HAS NEVER BEEN STRONGER.
250
00:09:47,206 --> 00:09:49,646
[door closes]
- MR. MUMBRUE QUIT.
251
00:09:49,771 --> 00:09:52,951
[piano notes]
252
00:09:53,076 --> 00:09:54,776
WAIT, JOE,
WHY DID HE QUIT?
253
00:09:54,902 --> 00:09:56,552
I DON'T KNOW.
254
00:09:56,685 --> 00:09:59,825
WHEN CLASS WAS OVER, HE TOLD US
TO NEVER GIVE UP ON OUR DREAMS,
255
00:09:59,946 --> 00:10:03,556
THREW BACK HIS SCARF,
AND WALKED OUT.
256
00:10:03,686 --> 00:10:05,466
WHY WOULD
HE JUST LEAVE LIKE THAT?
257
00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:09,220
WELL, JOE, TO BE HONEST...
258
00:10:09,340 --> 00:10:12,820
WHO KNOWS
WHY A MAN DOES ANYTHING?
259
00:10:12,949 --> 00:10:16,039
BUT I'M PRETTY SURE THE SCARF
WAS FOR DRAMATIC EFFECT.
260
00:10:16,167 --> 00:10:18,867
IT'S OLD-SCHOOL,
BUT IT WORKS.
261
00:10:25,387 --> 00:10:27,037
DAVID,
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?
262
00:10:27,169 --> 00:10:29,559
WELL, I DON'T THINK JOE HAS
PUT TWO AND TWO TOGETHER YET,
263
00:10:29,691 --> 00:10:31,651
SO LET'S--LET'S JUST KEEP IT
BETWEEN OURSELVES, OKAY?
264
00:10:31,778 --> 00:10:32,868
- MM-HMM.
- DAD.
265
00:10:32,996 --> 00:10:36,696
I WAS JUST PUTTING
TWO AND TWO TOGETHER.
266
00:10:36,823 --> 00:10:38,433
DOES MR. MUMBRUE LEAVING
HAVE ANYTHING TO DO
267
00:10:38,563 --> 00:10:40,263
WITH YOU
LIKING HIS SCRIPT?
268
00:10:40,389 --> 00:10:42,569
JOE, I TOLD THE GUY
THAT I LIKED HIS SCRIPT.
269
00:10:42,694 --> 00:10:43,734
I DIDN'T TELL HIM
TO QUIT HIS JOB.
270
00:10:43,868 --> 00:10:45,528
HE'S MAKING
A HUGE MISTAKE.
271
00:10:45,651 --> 00:10:47,081
AW, MAN.
272
00:10:47,217 --> 00:10:48,137
HOW AM I
SUPPOSED TO REPRESENT
273
00:10:48,260 --> 00:10:50,350
MY WHOLE CLASS
WITHOUT MR. MUMBRUE?
274
00:10:50,478 --> 00:10:52,388
JOE, YOU GOT ME, PAL.
275
00:10:52,522 --> 00:10:54,052
YOU GOT ME.
I CAN HELP YOU WITH YOUR...
276
00:10:54,174 --> 00:10:56,174
NIGHT WORD SPEAKY THING.
277
00:10:56,306 --> 00:10:58,656
ONE WORD, DAD:
COLESLAW-SOME.
278
00:10:58,784 --> 00:11:00,134
COME ON, JOE.
279
00:11:00,262 --> 00:11:01,522
GIVE YOUR DAD A CHANCE.
280
00:11:01,654 --> 00:11:02,924
HE CAN BE
PRETTY INSPIRING.
281
00:11:03,045 --> 00:11:04,395
COME ON.
282
00:11:04,524 --> 00:11:06,004
WHAT, UH, WHAT ARE
YOU FEELING RIGHT NOW?
283
00:11:06,134 --> 00:11:07,264
I DON'T KNOW.
284
00:11:07,395 --> 00:11:08,565
THAT'S CONFUSION.
285
00:11:08,699 --> 00:11:10,749
YOU'RE CONFUSED.
286
00:11:10,873 --> 00:11:14,003
WHAT RHYMES WITH CONFUSED?
- AMUSED?
287
00:11:14,135 --> 00:11:15,225
YEAH, OKAY.
WE'RE IN A GROOVE NOW.
288
00:11:15,352 --> 00:11:15,922
YOU SEE
WHAT'S HAPPENING HERE, HONEY?
289
00:11:16,048 --> 00:11:17,008
ABSOLUTELY, SWEETIE,
290
00:11:17,136 --> 00:11:18,746
BUT I'M WILLING TO GO
WITH IT.
291
00:11:18,874 --> 00:11:21,134
OKAY, SO THERE'S,
UH, LET'S SEE.
292
00:11:21,266 --> 00:11:23,316
THERE'S A--THERE WAS
A CONFUSED BOY NAMED JOE
293
00:11:23,441 --> 00:11:25,351
WHOSE--WHOSE WRITING
WAS SLOW.
294
00:11:25,485 --> 00:11:28,365
HE--HE LIKED
TO COLLECT ROCKS
295
00:11:28,485 --> 00:11:30,965
THAT HE KEPT
IN A BOX.
296
00:11:32,268 --> 00:11:34,188
NOW THAT'S GOT A RING.
297
00:11:34,313 --> 00:11:36,753
DAD'S TAKING YOU
UNDER HIS WING.
298
00:11:36,878 --> 00:11:38,178
AND NOW YOU HAVE
WHAT YOU NEED
299
00:11:38,314 --> 00:11:40,494
FOR YOUR NIGHT WORD
SPEAKY THING.
300
00:11:40,618 --> 00:11:42,398
HONEY, IT'S--
IT'S SPOKEN WORD NIGHT,
301
00:11:42,531 --> 00:11:45,151
NOT A NIGHT
WITH DR. SEUSS.
302
00:11:45,271 --> 00:11:47,271
DAD, I APPRECIATE
WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO DO,
303
00:11:47,402 --> 00:11:50,102
BUT YOU JUST DON'T INSPIRE ME
THE WAY MR. MUMBRUE DOES.
304
00:11:54,230 --> 00:11:56,150
LOOKING FOR YOUR PHONE
IS FUN, HUH?
305
00:11:56,273 --> 00:11:58,053
IT'S LIKE
AN EASTER EGG HUNT.
306
00:11:58,186 --> 00:11:59,626
I'M NEVER GONNA FIND IT.
307
00:11:59,752 --> 00:12:00,752
I'VE GOTTA CALL OLIVIA
308
00:12:00,882 --> 00:12:02,492
AND TELL HER
TO CALL THE HOUSE PHONE.
309
00:12:02,622 --> 00:12:03,932
WAIT A MINUTE.
310
00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:06,617
WITHOUT MY CELL,
I DON'T KNOW OLIVIA'S NUMBER.
311
00:12:06,753 --> 00:12:09,533
I DON'T EVEN KNOW
OUR HOME PHONE NUMBER.
312
00:12:09,667 --> 00:12:12,937
I AM COMPLETELY CUT OFF
FROM THE OUTSIDE WORLD!
313
00:12:13,058 --> 00:12:16,278
WE COULD READ A BOOK
IN MY FORT.
314
00:12:16,408 --> 00:12:18,888
[sighs]
WHY NOT?
315
00:12:19,016 --> 00:12:22,976
I'LL GO GET ONE.
316
00:12:23,104 --> 00:12:25,584
[stuffed animal buzzing]
317
00:12:25,713 --> 00:12:27,713
MY PHONE!
318
00:12:28,845 --> 00:12:30,325
I CAN'T HEAR YOU.
319
00:12:30,453 --> 00:12:33,283
I'M TALKING INTO
THE BUSINESS END OF A MONKEY.
320
00:12:33,411 --> 00:12:35,891
PLEASE CALL BACK
ON THE HOME PHONE.
321
00:12:36,020 --> 00:12:37,800
I DON'T KNOW
THE NUMBER.
322
00:12:42,195 --> 00:12:43,935
OH, HEY, MAURY,
THANKS FOR COMING BY.
323
00:12:44,064 --> 00:12:45,494
YOU'RE THANKING ME?
324
00:12:45,630 --> 00:12:48,160
YOU SET UP THIS MEETING WITH A
HIGH-POWERED HOLLYWOOD PRODUCER.
325
00:12:48,283 --> 00:12:50,593
MY MOM IS SO EXCITED.
326
00:12:50,718 --> 00:12:52,588
WELL, I'M--I'M--
I'M GLAD TO HEAR IT.
327
00:12:52,718 --> 00:12:54,808
NOW, AS I TOLD YOU, MAURY,
I LIKE YOUR SCRIPT,
328
00:12:54,936 --> 00:12:56,066
BUT I'M JUST A TV GUY.
329
00:12:56,197 --> 00:12:57,847
WHAT YOU REALLY NEED
IS THE OPINION
330
00:12:57,980 --> 00:13:00,250
OF--OF A MOVIE GUY, RIGHT?
331
00:13:00,372 --> 00:13:02,372
BEFORE YOU COMPLETELY CHANGE
YOUR ENTIRE LIFE AROUND,
332
00:13:02,503 --> 00:13:05,463
WHICH IS WHY I INVITED
STERLING SILVER OVER HERE.
333
00:13:05,591 --> 00:13:08,251
SILVER KNOWS GOLD
BETTER THAN ANYBODY,
334
00:13:08,373 --> 00:13:11,153
BUT HE'S ALSO A VERY,
VERY TOUGH CRITIC.
335
00:13:11,287 --> 00:13:13,337
CLOONEY.
336
00:13:13,461 --> 00:13:16,421
CL--CLOONEY,
YOU DRIVE A HARD BARGAIN.
337
00:13:16,549 --> 00:13:17,939
OKAY, I'LL GIVE YOU
5% OF THE PROFIT.
338
00:13:18,071 --> 00:13:19,551
NOTHING MORE.
339
00:13:19,680 --> 00:13:21,380
OKAY. [speaks foreign language]
WE HAVE A DEAL.
340
00:13:21,507 --> 00:13:24,207
HEY, STAY HANDSOME, HUH?
341
00:13:24,334 --> 00:13:26,204
YOU THE WRITER?
342
00:13:26,334 --> 00:13:27,464
I CAN TELL BY THE HAT.
343
00:13:27,595 --> 00:13:29,125
THE ONLY THING
YOU'RE MISSING IS A LAPTOP
344
00:13:29,248 --> 00:13:30,678
AND A TABLE
AT STARBUCKETS.
345
00:13:30,812 --> 00:13:33,212
BOOM!
346
00:13:33,335 --> 00:13:35,425
UH, MAURY MUMBRUE.
347
00:13:35,552 --> 00:13:37,032
MR. SILVER, WERE YOU JUST
TALKING TO GEORGE CLOONEY?
348
00:13:37,162 --> 00:13:38,332
[laughs]
349
00:13:38,466 --> 00:13:40,296
A WISE MAN ONCE TOLD ME,
350
00:13:40,423 --> 00:13:42,553
"NEVER BRAG
ABOUT WHO YOUR FRIENDS ARE."
351
00:13:42,685 --> 00:13:44,515
THAT MAN WAS TOM CRUISE.
352
00:13:44,641 --> 00:13:47,381
[cell phone rings]
353
00:13:47,512 --> 00:13:50,072
UGH, CHANNING TATUM'S
CALLING ME AGAIN.
354
00:13:50,208 --> 00:13:51,558
SHE IS RELENTLESS.
355
00:13:51,686 --> 00:13:53,606
IGNORE.
356
00:13:53,730 --> 00:13:57,600
SO, STERLING, WHAT DID YOU
THINK OF MR. MUMBRUE'S SCRIPT?
357
00:13:57,730 --> 00:13:59,730
HEY, ANYBODY HOME, DAVID?
358
00:13:59,862 --> 00:14:01,772
DR. BARNES, HI.
359
00:14:01,905 --> 00:14:04,295
I-I DIDN'T KNOW YOU
AND DAVID ARE FRIENDS.
360
00:14:04,428 --> 00:14:06,818
OH, WELL, WE WERE
DOCTOR-PATIENT AT FIRST,
361
00:14:06,950 --> 00:14:09,260
AND THEN WE HAD A LITTLE
MEET-CUTE OVER HIS PROSTATE,
362
00:14:09,385 --> 00:14:11,555
AND...
[sighs] NOW WE'RE FRIENDS.
363
00:14:11,690 --> 00:14:13,350
YES, UH-HUH.
364
00:14:13,473 --> 00:14:15,303
I'M JUST HERE
TO MAKE A HOUSE CALL.
365
00:14:15,430 --> 00:14:17,520
HEY, HOW'S EVERYTHING?
366
00:14:17,647 --> 00:14:19,127
- EVERYTHING'S GREAT.
- GREAT, GREAT, GREAT.
367
00:14:19,257 --> 00:14:20,817
LET ME HEAR YOU SAY "AHH."
- AHH.
368
00:14:20,953 --> 00:14:23,523
I THOUGHT
YOU WERE A PROCTOLOGIST.
369
00:14:23,648 --> 00:14:25,998
YES, BEND OVER
AND SAY, "AHH."
370
00:14:26,127 --> 00:14:28,307
HEY, I'M JUST GONNA STAND HERE
AND SAY, "UH-UH."
371
00:14:28,433 --> 00:14:33,173
SO, STERLING, WHAT DID--WHAT DID
YOU THINK OF THE SCRIPT?
372
00:14:33,303 --> 00:14:34,873
I'M GOING TO BE BLUNT
WITH YOU, KID.
373
00:14:34,998 --> 00:14:37,438
IT'S THE WORST SCRIPT
I EVER READ.
374
00:14:37,564 --> 00:14:38,784
OH, WOW.
375
00:14:38,912 --> 00:14:40,872
YEAH.
THAT'S GOTTA HURT.
376
00:14:40,999 --> 00:14:42,999
WELL, AT LEAST YOU HAVE
TEACHING TO FALL BACK ON.
377
00:14:43,131 --> 00:14:44,911
OKAY, IT'S GOOD
SEEING YOU, MAURY.
378
00:14:45,044 --> 00:14:46,394
I'M JUST--I'M JU--
I'M SO CONFUSED
379
00:14:46,523 --> 00:14:48,873
BECAUSE MR. HOBBS HERE
SAID HE LIKED IT.
380
00:14:49,001 --> 00:14:51,491
UH, MR. HOBBS
DID NOT TELL ME THAT.
381
00:14:51,611 --> 00:14:53,611
YES, WELL, WHAT I--WHAT I--
I DID SAY THAT I LIKED IT.
382
00:14:53,741 --> 00:14:55,741
OH, THEN I LIKE IT TOO.
383
00:14:55,872 --> 00:14:57,922
WELL, BUT I TOLD MAURY HERE
THAT WHAT HE REALLY NEEDED
384
00:14:58,047 --> 00:15:00,567
WAS YOUR PROFESSIONAL OPINION.
- NOPE.
385
00:15:00,699 --> 00:15:01,959
IF YOU LIKE IT,
I LIKE IT.
386
00:15:02,090 --> 00:15:04,450
BUT I DON'T THINK
YOU REALLY DO LIKE IT.
387
00:15:04,569 --> 00:15:05,829
OH, YOU'RE RIGHT.
388
00:15:05,961 --> 00:15:07,661
UH, I DON'T LIKE IT.
389
00:15:07,788 --> 00:15:09,218
I LOVE IT!
390
00:15:09,353 --> 00:15:11,493
IN FACT,
I'M GOING TO BUY IT!
391
00:15:11,615 --> 00:15:12,825
[gasps]
392
00:15:12,962 --> 00:15:15,652
WELL, JUST TAKE IT
EASY THERE, MR. SILVER, I--
393
00:15:15,789 --> 00:15:18,229
THIS IS INCREDIBLE.
394
00:15:18,355 --> 00:15:19,405
I'M HAVING
HEART PALPITATIONS.
395
00:15:19,529 --> 00:15:20,399
DR. BARNES.
396
00:15:20,529 --> 00:15:22,439
UM, UM, YEAH. YEAH.
397
00:15:22,573 --> 00:15:24,973
I--UM--BEND--
BEND OVER.
398
00:15:25,095 --> 00:15:26,265
I GOT YOU.
399
00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:28,710
FOR--FOR MY HEART?
400
00:15:28,835 --> 00:15:32,625
OH, I THOUGHT YOU SAID
FART PALPITATIONS. OH.
401
00:15:32,748 --> 00:15:34,708
THANK YOU, MR. SILVER.
402
00:15:34,836 --> 00:15:38,666
THANK YOU, DAVID,
FOR MAKING MY DREAMS COME TRUE.
403
00:15:38,794 --> 00:15:41,534
MM-HMM.
404
00:15:42,881 --> 00:15:46,011
MAURY.
405
00:15:46,143 --> 00:15:47,933
I--
406
00:15:48,056 --> 00:15:51,536
NOBODY--NOBODY BOUGHT
YOUR SCRIPT, MAURY.
407
00:15:51,665 --> 00:15:53,105
THAT'S NOT STERLING SILVER.
408
00:15:53,231 --> 00:15:55,661
THAT'S--THAT'S
MY ASSISTANT, KEVIN.
409
00:15:55,797 --> 00:15:59,197
WHAT?
410
00:15:59,319 --> 00:16:00,629
MR. MUMBRUE,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
411
00:16:00,754 --> 00:16:03,404
I HAVE NO IDEA.
412
00:16:03,537 --> 00:16:05,197
WELL, SEE,
I-I STAGED THIS MEETING
413
00:16:05,320 --> 00:16:06,800
BECAUSE I DIDN'T HAVE
THE HEART TO TELL YOU
414
00:16:06,929 --> 00:16:09,359
THAT YOUR SCRIPT IS NO GOOD.
- WHAT?
415
00:16:09,495 --> 00:16:12,285
SO THEN YOU REALLY
DON'T LIKE MY SCRIPT?
416
00:16:12,408 --> 00:16:14,368
I REALLY
DON'T LIKE YOUR SCRIPT.
417
00:16:14,496 --> 00:16:17,676
BUT YOU'RE
A FANTASTIC TEACHER, MAURY.
418
00:16:17,801 --> 00:16:19,361
AND I--AND I THINK
YOU SHOULD GO BACK TO THAT.
419
00:16:19,497 --> 00:16:22,377
- SO THIS WHOLE THING WAS A CON?
- UH--
420
00:16:22,497 --> 00:16:27,677
WHICH MEANS YOU ARE
THE WRITER, MARCUS BARNES.
421
00:16:27,803 --> 00:16:30,193
WILL YOU READ MY SCRIPT?
422
00:16:30,325 --> 00:16:31,585
HEY, I WOULD LOVE TO, MAN,
423
00:16:31,717 --> 00:16:33,857
BUT I SUFFER FROM S.B.S.
424
00:16:33,978 --> 00:16:36,198
SPORADIC BLINDNESS SYNDROME.
425
00:16:36,326 --> 00:16:38,146
NEVER KNOW--
THERE IT IS.
426
00:16:38,283 --> 00:16:40,363
IT'S COMING O--
I SEE A SP--IT'S COMING ON.
427
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:42,420
I'LL FIND MYSELF OUT, FELLAS.
428
00:16:42,545 --> 00:16:43,505
DON'T EVEN WORRY ABOUT IT.
429
00:16:43,632 --> 00:16:44,802
WHERE WE AT?
OKAY.
430
00:16:44,936 --> 00:16:47,156
ALL RIGHT. HEY.
431
00:16:51,155 --> 00:16:52,025
I'M SORRY.
432
00:16:52,155 --> 00:16:54,245
SO AM I.
433
00:16:54,373 --> 00:16:57,023
SO DOES THIS MEAN YOU'LL COME
BACK AND BE MY TEACHER AGAIN?
434
00:16:57,156 --> 00:16:59,726
JOE, I LOVE
BEING YOUR TEACHER,
435
00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:02,332
BUT THIS SETBACK
HAS ONLY INSPIRED ME
436
00:17:02,462 --> 00:17:04,332
TO BECOME A BETTER WRITER
437
00:17:04,462 --> 00:17:07,682
AND TRY AND MAKE IT
IN HOLLYWOOD.
438
00:17:07,810 --> 00:17:09,630
PLUS, I MAY HAVE SAID
439
00:17:09,767 --> 00:17:11,597
SOME UNSAVORY THINGS
440
00:17:11,724 --> 00:17:13,384
TO PRINCIPAL GILMORE
BEFORE I LEFT,
441
00:17:13,507 --> 00:17:16,207
SO, YOU KNOW,
I GOTTA MAKE THIS THING HAPPEN.
442
00:17:20,029 --> 00:17:21,809
THANKS A LOT, DAD.
443
00:17:21,943 --> 00:17:23,333
IF YOU'D HAVE BEEN HONEST
IN THE FIRST PLACE,
444
00:17:23,466 --> 00:17:25,816
NONE OF THIS
WOULD HAVE HAPPENED.
445
00:17:28,380 --> 00:17:30,470
REALLY?
446
00:17:30,597 --> 00:17:32,077
YOU OFFERED
TO BUY THE SCRIPT?
447
00:17:32,207 --> 00:17:35,127
THIS IS WHY WE NEED
TO REHEARSE MORE, DAVID.
448
00:17:37,468 --> 00:17:39,248
EMILY, HAVE YOU SEEN
DR. MONKEY CHUNKS?
449
00:17:39,382 --> 00:17:40,952
I CAN'T FIND HER.
[thumping]
450
00:17:41,077 --> 00:17:42,427
THAT'S HER THUMPING AROUND
IN THE DRYER.
451
00:17:42,556 --> 00:17:44,076
SHE GOT A LITTLE WET,
SO I PUT HER IN THERE.
452
00:17:44,209 --> 00:17:47,779
UH, I DON'T THINK
SHE SHOULD BE IN THERE.
453
00:17:47,905 --> 00:17:48,955
WHY NOT?
454
00:17:49,079 --> 00:17:51,299
- SHE GETS DIZZY.
- NO, SHE'S FINE.
455
00:17:51,427 --> 00:17:52,597
WE PUT HER IN THE DRYER
ALL THE TIME.
456
00:17:52,732 --> 00:17:54,742
TAKE HER OUT.
457
00:17:54,862 --> 00:17:57,692
I HID YOUR PHONE IN HER BELLY,
AND NOW IT'S GETTING RUINED.
458
00:17:57,820 --> 00:18:00,250
I FOUND
THE PHONE, JANIE,
459
00:18:00,386 --> 00:18:03,006
AND THAT'S A SHOE
IN THE DRYER.
460
00:18:03,124 --> 00:18:05,124
WHY WOULD YOU
TAKE MY PHONE?
461
00:18:05,256 --> 00:18:07,426
I DON'T KNOW.
I'M SORRY.
462
00:18:09,343 --> 00:18:11,783
GUESS SHE WON'T
MESS WITH ME ANYMORE.
463
00:18:11,909 --> 00:18:12,779
MAYBE SHE WASN'T
MESSING WITH YOU.
464
00:18:12,910 --> 00:18:16,520
MAYBE SHE WAS
JUST MISSING YOU.
465
00:18:16,650 --> 00:18:19,570
SEE, MY GUESS IS SHE WANTED
TO HANG OUT WITH HER BIG SISTER,
466
00:18:19,693 --> 00:18:21,913
BUT YOU WERE TOO BUSY
HANGING OUT WITH YOUR PHONE.
467
00:18:22,041 --> 00:18:23,691
BUT WHAT DO I KNOW?
468
00:18:23,825 --> 00:18:25,955
- OH.
- MM-HMM.
469
00:18:26,086 --> 00:18:27,426
WELL, IF SHE JUST TEXTED ME,
470
00:18:27,565 --> 00:18:30,565
WE COULD HAVE AVOIDED
THIS WHOLE THING.
471
00:18:35,261 --> 00:18:37,481
HEY, UH, JOE,
I HATE TO SAY I TOLD YOU SO,
472
00:18:37,610 --> 00:18:39,130
BUT I'M PRETTY SURE
THE KID BEFORE YOU
473
00:18:39,262 --> 00:18:41,532
JUST DID {\an8}CAT IN THE HAT.
474
00:18:43,524 --> 00:18:45,084
CAN'T GO IN THERE.
I'M NOT READY.
475
00:18:45,220 --> 00:18:47,000
JOE, YOU CAN DO THIS.
476
00:18:47,133 --> 00:18:52,003
ALL MR. MUMBRUE DID WAS--
WAS FLIP A SWITCH
477
00:18:52,134 --> 00:18:55,834
AND--AND INSPIRE
WHAT'S ALREADY WITHIN YOU.
478
00:18:55,961 --> 00:18:57,491
YOU DON'T NEED HIM.
479
00:18:57,613 --> 00:18:59,523
OR ME.
480
00:18:59,658 --> 00:19:01,968
SO JUST
COME ON, MAN.
481
00:19:02,093 --> 00:19:06,313
JUST GO IN THERE, AND JUST SAY
WHAT YOU'RE TRULY FEELING.
482
00:19:06,441 --> 00:19:07,711
REALLY?
483
00:19:07,833 --> 00:19:08,963
YES.
ABSOLUTELY.
484
00:19:09,094 --> 00:19:10,574
DAD.
485
00:19:10,703 --> 00:19:12,053
DECEPTION.
486
00:19:12,181 --> 00:19:15,011
THEY BOTH START WITH "D."
487
00:19:15,138 --> 00:19:16,748
BUT THIS ISN'T
ABOUT LETTERS.
488
00:19:16,878 --> 00:19:18,008
IT'S ALL ABOUT ME.
489
00:19:18,139 --> 00:19:21,749
HE'S SO DEEP-Y.
490
00:19:21,879 --> 00:19:25,369
I HAD A TEACHER WHO TAUGHT ME
MORE THAN ANYONE HAD,
491
00:19:25,489 --> 00:19:29,189
BUT NOW HE'S GONE
BECAUSE OF MY DAD.
492
00:19:29,316 --> 00:19:32,406
THE MAN TOLD ME TO TALK
ABOUT HOW I WAS FEELING,
493
00:19:32,533 --> 00:19:35,533
SO I'M USING NIGHT WORD
SPEAKY THING TO BE REVEALING.
494
00:19:35,664 --> 00:19:38,184
I'M ANGRY, FRUSTRATED,
495
00:19:38,317 --> 00:19:40,007
BUT I'M FEELING LIBERATED,
496
00:19:40,143 --> 00:19:43,453
BECAUSE THERE'S ONE THING
THAT I HAD TO LEARN.
497
00:19:43,579 --> 00:19:45,929
I'VE GOT MAD SKILLS, SON,
WITH WORDS TO BURN.
498
00:19:46,057 --> 00:19:48,057
COLESLAW-SOME OUT!
499
00:19:48,188 --> 00:19:50,498
[cheers and applause]
500
00:19:50,623 --> 00:19:52,013
YEAH!
501
00:19:52,145 --> 00:19:53,455
WHOO!
502
00:19:53,581 --> 00:19:56,541
COLESLAW-SOME.
503
00:19:56,668 --> 00:19:58,278
I'M NOT PAYING
FOR THE MIC.
504
00:20:02,104 --> 00:20:03,494
GOOD NIGHT, EMILY.
505
00:20:03,626 --> 00:20:05,546
GOING TO BED?
506
00:20:05,670 --> 00:20:06,980
I WAS KINDA HOPING
I COULD READ YOU A STORY.
507
00:20:07,105 --> 00:20:07,975
REALLY?
508
00:20:08,105 --> 00:20:10,365
[pats couch]
SURE.
509
00:20:15,628 --> 00:20:18,148
"THE MOTHER SWAN WANTED
HER BABIES TO SWIM."
510
00:20:18,281 --> 00:20:20,591
[phone vibrating]
"THE BABIES WERE NERVOUS."
511
00:20:20,716 --> 00:20:22,806
- AREN'T YOU GONNA ANSWER THAT?
- NOPE.
512
00:20:22,934 --> 00:20:24,454
BUT IT'S YOUR PHONE.
513
00:20:24,587 --> 00:20:28,287
I'M TOO BUSY.
514
00:20:28,414 --> 00:20:29,944
THEN KEEP READING.
515
00:20:30,065 --> 00:20:33,495
I WANNA HEAR WHAT HAPPENS
TO THE BABY SWANS.
516
00:20:33,631 --> 00:20:35,981
"THEY WOULD CLIMB ON HER BACK,
AND SHE'D GET INTO THE WATER
517
00:20:36,110 --> 00:20:37,500
"AND SHAKE THEM OFF.
518
00:20:37,632 --> 00:20:38,982
"THEY WOULD CLIMB
BACK ON HER BACK,
519
00:20:39,111 --> 00:20:41,071
AND SHE'D
SHAKE THEM OFF AGAIN."
520
00:20:41,121 --> 00:20:45,671
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