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1
00:00:17,216 --> 00:00:19,253
(Joy of Life
by lrshad Khan)
2
00:00:39,672 --> 00:00:41,515
(Bird chirping)
3
00:00:47,413 --> 00:00:49,415
(Rooster crowing)
4
00:00:57,923 --> 00:00:59,766
(Squawking)
5
00:01:12,772 --> 00:01:16,219
(Woman and child
speaking Hindi in distance)
6
00:01:17,109 --> 00:01:19,851
(Mooing)
(Speaking Hindi)
7
00:01:26,418 --> 00:01:29,024
(Man singing in Hindi in distance)
8
00:01:35,528 --> 00:01:37,371
(Horns honking)
9
00:01:46,906 --> 00:01:48,442
(Bell ringing)
10
00:01:48,574 --> 00:01:51,350
(Man): Time's up! Time's up!
Finish! Finish your work!
11
00:01:51,477 --> 00:01:54,822
Please, time's up! Hurry up!
Time's up! Come on!
12
00:02:03,222 --> 00:02:04,257
(Laughing)
13
00:02:04,390 --> 00:02:06,165
(Speaking Hindi)
14
00:02:08,427 --> 00:02:09,633
- Hi!
- Hi, Deepak.
15
00:02:13,299 --> 00:02:16,473
(All): Congratulations, Deepak!
16
00:02:16,602 --> 00:02:18,377
(Lively music)
(Cheering and laughing)
17
00:02:18,504 --> 00:02:21,974
(Man singing in Hindi)
18
00:02:28,080 --> 00:02:30,651
(Speaking Hindi)
19
00:02:36,388 --> 00:02:41,064
(Deepak): I swear to fulfill to the best
of my ability and judgment this covenant.
20
00:02:41,193 --> 00:02:44,470
I will respect the hard-won scientific gains
21
00:02:44,597 --> 00:02:47,806
of those physicians
in whose steps I walk.
22
00:02:47,933 --> 00:02:52,211
I will remember that warmth,
sympathy and understanding
23
00:02:52,338 --> 00:02:54,477
may outweigh the surgeon's knife.
24
00:02:54,607 --> 00:02:58,419
May I long experience
the joy of healing those
25
00:02:58,544 --> 00:03:00,387
who may seek my help.
26
00:03:00,512 --> 00:03:02,753
And I will maintain
by all means in my power
27
00:03:02,882 --> 00:03:07,058
the honour and noble tradition
of the medical profession.
28
00:03:07,186 --> 00:03:08,995
(Horns honking)
29
00:03:17,029 --> 00:03:18,303
(Chicken clucking)
30
00:03:20,900 --> 00:03:23,938
Swami-ji, keep the rupees!
31
00:03:24,069 --> 00:03:26,015
It's all about dollars for me!
32
00:03:26,138 --> 00:03:27,515
(Speaking Hindi)
33
00:03:30,709 --> 00:03:32,552
(Laughing)
34
00:03:40,152 --> 00:03:41,358
(Laughing)
35
00:03:45,491 --> 00:03:47,164
(No dialog)
36
00:03:53,165 --> 00:03:55,475
(Bell dinging in distance)
37
00:03:55,601 --> 00:03:57,103
(Meow-l?)
38
00:03:59,371 --> 00:04:00,315
(Cow exhaling)
39
00:04:00,439 --> 00:04:03,613
Show some respect now, huh?
I'm a doctor!
40
00:04:03,742 --> 00:04:06,052
(Cow grunting)
41
00:04:41,447 --> 00:04:43,256
(Speaking Hindi)
42
00:04:43,382 --> 00:04:45,794
(Children playing in distance)
43
00:04:50,322 --> 00:04:51,357
Ma!
44
00:04:51,490 --> 00:04:52,434
(Gasping)
45
00:04:52,558 --> 00:04:55,630
Dr. Deepak Veer Chopra.
46
00:04:56,395 --> 00:04:58,306
MD.
- on!
47
00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:02,502
Doctor!
48
00:05:04,236 --> 00:05:06,876
Your father would've been
so proud of you today!
49
00:05:07,006 --> 00:05:09,384
- He would've been proud of you, Ma.
50
00:05:09,508 --> 00:05:11,112
You've worked so hard for us.
51
00:05:12,678 --> 00:05:14,817
Ma! Ma!
52
00:05:17,282 --> 00:05:18,590
Last time!
53
00:05:29,294 --> 00:05:31,501
I want us to experience the world now!
54
00:05:31,630 --> 00:05:35,544
And, Ma, I can heal people anywhere!
55
00:05:35,667 --> 00:05:37,669
(Speaking Hindi)
56
00:05:37,803 --> 00:05:39,373
Ma?
57
00:05:43,175 --> 00:05:44,210
Ma!
58
00:05:44,343 --> 00:05:45,481
(Chuckling)
59
00:05:45,611 --> 00:05:47,887
(Both laughing)
60
00:05:50,049 --> 00:05:51,722
- Ma, pack up these spices now!
61
00:05:51,850 --> 00:05:54,421
We'll need them to keep us warm.
62
00:05:54,553 --> 00:05:58,023
We are moving to the land of opportunity.
63
00:05:58,157 --> 00:06:01,104
- Honey... I thought
we were going to Canada.
64
00:06:01,226 --> 00:06:03,069
(Both laughing)
- Let's go!
65
00:06:07,699 --> 00:06:09,076
(All laughing)
66
00:06:09,201 --> 00:06:11,238
(Nellie shouting in Hindi)
67
00:06:19,011 --> 00:06:21,389
(Nellie chuckling):
So many white people, new?
68
00:06:21,513 --> 00:06:24,289
(Deepak): Ma, did you know the entire country
once belonged to the Indians?
69
00:06:24,416 --> 00:06:26,657
- Amazing! Indians!
70
00:06:28,053 --> 00:06:29,225
(Both): Hello!
71
00:06:30,589 --> 00:06:34,264
- Dr. Deepak Veer Chopra. Really?
72
00:06:34,393 --> 00:06:37,306
(Chuckling): Millions of us Indians
share many names,
73
00:06:37,429 --> 00:06:39,670
but there's only one great
Dr. Deepak Chopra.
74
00:06:40,232 --> 00:06:41,734
- You also!
75
00:06:41,867 --> 00:06:43,471
- And Vijay Sharma sponsored you?
76
00:06:43,602 --> 00:06:44,876
- Yes! He's my brother!
77
00:06:46,138 --> 00:06:48,311
He's got the best Indian
restaurant in Toronto:
78
00:06:48,440 --> 00:06:49,646
Korma Suva!
79
00:06:49,775 --> 00:06:50,913
(Both laughing,
stamp clicking)
80
00:06:51,043 --> 00:06:54,149
Susan, you should come there sometime
if you like Indian food.
81
00:06:54,279 --> 00:06:55,553
We'll give you big discount!
82
00:06:55,681 --> 00:06:57,183
- Welcome to Canada.
- Thank you, ma'am!
83
00:06:57,316 --> 00:06:58,795
- Thank you! Thank you!
84
00:06:58,917 --> 00:07:01,420
Look how quickly
she stamped our passports!
85
00:07:01,553 --> 00:07:03,829
These Chinese, they're just like us!
- OK!
86
00:07:03,956 --> 00:07:05,993
- They love discounts
even more than sex!
87
00:07:06,125 --> 00:07:07,468
- Shhh! Shhh! Let's go!
88
00:07:07,593 --> 00:07:09,595
(Nellie): Carefully!
We have to find your uncle Vijay.
89
00:07:10,696 --> 00:07:13,176
- OK!
(Vijay): Over here! Over here!
90
00:07:13,298 --> 00:07:16,438
(Vijay exclaiming,
women laughing)
91
00:07:17,970 --> 00:07:19,176
- Who are these girls?
92
00:07:20,105 --> 00:07:21,675
- Must be his assistants, new?
93
00:07:21,807 --> 00:07:23,753
(Vijay exclaiming,
woman laughing)
94
00:07:23,876 --> 00:07:25,355
- Hey, Uncle!
95
00:07:25,477 --> 00:07:29,425
(Vijay): Welcome to Toronto! Huh?
96
00:07:29,548 --> 00:07:32,324
(Deepak): So, Uncle, where's all the snow?
97
00:07:33,785 --> 00:07:35,594
'WOW!
- Huh?
98
00:07:35,721 --> 00:07:37,325
(Laughing)
- Beautiful house, Uncle!
99
00:07:37,456 --> 00:07:39,197
(Speaking Hindi)
Very nice!
100
00:07:39,324 --> 00:07:40,894
- And where is she?
101
00:07:41,026 --> 00:07:43,028
- Uncle, when do we meet Rani?
102
00:07:43,162 --> 00:07:46,109
- Viju, you never told us
where did you meet her?
103
00:07:46,231 --> 00:07:47,938
- Uh,where?
- Huh, where?
104
00:07:48,066 --> 00:07:50,774
(Speaking Hindi)
- She's coming.
105
00:07:52,004 --> 00:07:54,006
(Hindi music)
106
00:07:56,975 --> 00:07:59,387
Huh? What do you think?
107
00:07:59,511 --> 00:08:00,854
Huh?
108
00:08:02,748 --> 00:08:06,525
(Slowly): Welcome to your new home.
109
00:08:06,652 --> 00:08:08,893
(Both speaking Hindi)
110
00:08:09,021 --> 00:08:10,193
Namaste!
111
00:08:10,322 --> 00:08:11,801
(Both): Namaste!
112
00:08:11,924 --> 00:08:15,133
- I hope you brought your appetites.
I've been cooking up a storm!
113
00:08:15,260 --> 00:08:16,603
- Buzz, buzz, buzz!
114
00:08:17,663 --> 00:08:18,801
Beautiful!
115
00:08:20,365 --> 00:08:21,309
- Let's eat!
116
00:08:21,433 --> 00:08:23,572
(Enter the Gate by Anwar Khurshid
and Paul Deslauriers on stereo)
117
00:08:23,702 --> 00:08:24,646
- That's fine. Thank you!
118
00:08:24,770 --> 00:08:27,751
- Mmm! Rani,
there's already enough food!
119
00:08:27,873 --> 00:08:29,250
- Oh, but the Dalai Lama says,
120
00:08:29,374 --> 00:08:32,412
"One must approach both love
and cooking with reckless abandon."
121
00:08:32,544 --> 00:08:33,716
- Uh-huh!
122
00:08:35,347 --> 00:08:38,021
Oh, your auntie warships the snake god.
123
00:08:38,150 --> 00:08:41,495
- But, Uncle, isn't the snake god a cobra?
124
00:08:42,688 --> 00:08:47,603
- Um, there are no cobras here,
so she worships the rattlesnake god.
125
00:08:47,726 --> 00:08:49,706
(Nellie): on!
- Lamb?
126
00:08:49,828 --> 00:08:52,035
- No, thank you, Auntie!
I don't eat meat!
127
00:08:52,164 --> 00:08:54,872
(Laughing): My Deepu is a grass eater!
128
00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:55,944
- Um...
129
00:08:56,068 --> 00:08:58,139
- But I'll have some!
(Laughing and panting)
130
00:09:00,806 --> 00:09:02,615
- Nellie?
(indistinct)
131
00:09:02,741 --> 00:09:04,846
- Thank you! Uncle, can I serve you?
132
00:09:04,977 --> 00:09:06,615
- Please!
- Mmm!
133
00:09:06,745 --> 00:09:07,723
Looks tasty!
134
00:09:07,846 --> 00:09:09,086
- Uh. good!
135
00:09:09,214 --> 00:09:11,285
(Panting)
Naan?
136
00:09:11,416 --> 00:09:12,394
- Thank you!
137
00:09:12,517 --> 00:09:14,121
- Naan?
138
00:09:14,253 --> 00:09:15,755
- Thank you!
139
00:09:15,887 --> 00:09:17,298
(Laughing): Naan!
140
00:09:17,422 --> 00:09:19,925
- Where did you learn
to cook Indian food?
141
00:09:20,058 --> 00:09:21,093
- TV!
142
00:09:21,226 --> 00:09:23,729
- Uncle? Auntie?
You've been godsends.
143
00:09:23,862 --> 00:09:27,742
Supporting my education
and now sponsoring us?
144
00:09:27,866 --> 00:09:31,143
Really, words can't express
how thankful lam
145
00:09:31,270 --> 00:09:33,079
for everything you've done
for Ma and me.
146
00:09:33,205 --> 00:09:35,412
- Don't thank me.
It was your aunt's idea.
147
00:09:35,540 --> 00:09:37,247
She wanted us all to be together.
148
00:09:37,376 --> 00:09:38,548
(Laughing)
149
00:09:38,677 --> 00:09:39,655
- Really?
- Thank you, Auntie!
150
00:09:39,778 --> 00:09:41,155
(Laughing): You're welcome!
151
00:09:41,280 --> 00:09:43,487
To my lovely Indian family!
152
00:09:43,615 --> 00:09:44,593
(Laughing and panting)
153
00:09:44,716 --> 00:09:45,694
(AH): Cheers!
154
00:09:46,752 --> 00:09:48,322
- I'll drink to that!
155
00:09:48,453 --> 00:09:50,126
- But Neelu-ji,
you've never drank alcohol before!
156
00:09:50,255 --> 00:09:52,098
- Well, I've never been on a plane before!
157
00:09:52,224 --> 00:09:53,999
(Nellie, Deepak and Rani): Cheers!
158
00:09:54,126 --> 00:09:55,764
(Laughing): I like Canada!
159
00:09:55,894 --> 00:09:57,271
(Laughing): It likes you!
160
00:09:58,397 --> 00:09:59,341
- Ma?
(coughing)
161
00:09:59,464 --> 00:10:00,670
Ma, are you OK?
162
00:10:00,799 --> 00:10:02,403
(Coughing)
163
00:10:02,534 --> 00:10:04,741
(Speaking Hindi)
164
00:10:04,870 --> 00:10:08,408
- I would be proud to be a pan
165
00:10:08,540 --> 00:10:10,486
of your medical team.
166
00:10:11,076 --> 00:10:15,889
Sincerely, Dr. Deepak Veer Chopra.
167
00:10:16,014 --> 00:10:17,186
(Beeping)
168
00:10:17,316 --> 00:10:19,318
(Sighing)
169
00:10:22,487 --> 00:10:23,795
That was fast!
170
00:10:25,324 --> 00:10:28,203
(Woman on computer):
Hey, sexy! You're so big!
171
00:10:28,327 --> 00:10:31,399
Do you know what else is big?
These massive savings!
172
00:10:31,530 --> 00:10:34,909
Click now and we can have some fun!
Click right here!
173
00:10:36,501 --> 00:10:38,674
(Birds chirping in distance)
174
00:10:38,804 --> 00:10:41,307
- A slice of cucumber on each eye;
175
00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:43,943
my idea of a perfectly balanced diet.
176
00:10:44,076 --> 00:10:45,180
- Really?
177
00:10:48,447 --> 00:10:49,858
- Hello, ladies!
178
00:10:49,981 --> 00:10:52,154
- Hot stone massage at 5:00?
179
00:10:52,284 --> 00:10:53,729
- Yes, yes! Let's get stoned!
180
00:10:53,852 --> 00:10:57,197
- Deepak!
Looks like you just got some good news!
181
00:10:57,322 --> 00:10:58,562
- It's a job offer!
182
00:10:58,690 --> 00:11:00,829
I can feel it from the bottom of my heart!
183
00:11:00,959 --> 00:11:03,872
- I can also feel it from my bottom!
My Deepu!
184
00:11:03,995 --> 00:11:06,407
- OK, guys, no need to get excited.
185
00:11:06,531 --> 00:11:08,568
It's just an interview call-in.
186
00:11:08,700 --> 00:11:11,146
(All cheering and exclaiming)
187
00:11:11,269 --> 00:11:14,546
(Laughing): Guys!
It's just an interview! Come on!
188
00:11:14,673 --> 00:11:15,617
(Vijay exclaiming)
189
00:11:15,741 --> 00:11:17,880
(Lively music)
190
00:11:40,966 --> 00:11:43,913
(Deepak): Come on, Deepak! Confidence!
191
00:11:44,035 --> 00:11:46,606
(Exhaling sharply)
You can do this. You're a good doctor! Yes!
192
00:11:46,738 --> 00:11:48,445
"Good morning!
Good morning!
193
00:11:48,573 --> 00:11:51,213
"My name is Deepak V...
Good morning!
194
00:11:51,343 --> 00:11:53,345
"My name is Dr. Deepak Veer Chopra.
195
00:11:53,478 --> 00:11:55,424
"I'm caring and I'm compassionate."
196
00:11:55,547 --> 00:11:57,390
Yes, that's it!
"I'm a dedicated--"
197
00:11:57,516 --> 00:12:00,360
(Person passing gas, toilet flushing)
198
00:12:08,693 --> 00:12:10,036
Good day!
199
00:12:16,435 --> 00:12:17,937
- Congratulations!
200
00:12:18,069 --> 00:12:20,777
You've excelled
at the Medical Council Evaluating Exams!
201
00:12:20,906 --> 00:12:24,183
- Despite your excellent exam results,
202
00:12:24,309 --> 00:12:27,916
the Canadian Medical Association
requires a 4-year residency.
203
00:12:28,046 --> 00:12:31,323
- I graduated from a well-respected
medical school in India.
204
00:12:31,450 --> 00:12:34,124
(Chuckling): on, India!
Yeah! I love India!
205
00:12:34,653 --> 00:12:36,291
I went to an ashram out of college.
206
00:12:36,421 --> 00:12:37,764
(Chuckling): Namaste!
207
00:12:37,889 --> 00:12:41,803
Anyway, Indian medical training
isn't familiar to us.
208
00:12:41,927 --> 00:12:45,465
- But I also know that this country
has a shortfall of 26,000 doctors.
209
00:12:45,597 --> 00:12:47,338
I'm confident that my credentials--
210
00:12:47,466 --> 00:12:50,470
- We can't travel the world
evaluating every medical school!
211
00:12:50,602 --> 00:12:52,809
- We must provide competent healthcare here.
212
00:12:52,938 --> 00:12:55,942
- Millions of people
who can't find a family doctor are clogging--
213
00:12:56,074 --> 00:12:57,678
- Our emergency rooms.
214
00:12:57,809 --> 00:13:00,187
- I've had every door slammed in my face.
215
00:13:00,312 --> 00:13:02,519
I've rewritten every exam successfully!
216
00:13:02,647 --> 00:13:05,457
- Being a doctor
is not only about treating patients...
217
00:13:05,584 --> 00:13:07,120
- It's about having patience!
218
00:13:07,252 --> 00:13:09,459
- Maybe you'd like to try another career,
219
00:13:09,588 --> 00:13:13,661
perhaps nursing
or massage therapy, Mr. uh...
220
00:13:13,792 --> 00:13:14,793
(Sighing)
221
00:13:14,926 --> 00:13:15,927
Brown.
222
00:13:18,096 --> 00:13:20,007
(Both talking indistinctly)
223
00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:23,845
(Grunting)
- Sorry!
224
00:13:35,947 --> 00:13:37,949
- Decaf latte with a heart
for my favourite guy!
225
00:13:38,083 --> 00:13:40,029
- What do I owe you?
- Oh no, it's on me.
226
00:13:40,151 --> 00:13:41,858
- Oh, thanks!
- Have a good day!
227
00:13:49,361 --> 00:13:51,204
(Soft music)
228
00:14:14,286 --> 00:14:17,199
Can I help the next customer?
- Just one second!
229
00:14:17,322 --> 00:14:19,131
- Hey! What can I get for you?
230
00:14:23,395 --> 00:14:24,567
Coffee?
231
00:14:24,696 --> 00:14:26,539
(Sighing)
232
00:14:26,665 --> 00:14:28,770
(Slowly): Coffee?
233
00:14:30,035 --> 00:14:32,948
- I'm... I'm so sorry!
I've just had such a bad day.
234
00:14:33,071 --> 00:14:35,347
I can't get a job here...
235
00:14:35,473 --> 00:14:38,545
- We've all had those. Bye-bye!
- Thanks!
236
00:14:38,677 --> 00:14:40,384
- Can I help the next clown?
237
00:14:41,513 --> 00:14:44,255
- I'll take whatever's cheapest,
the bathroom key and a plunger.
238
00:14:44,382 --> 00:14:46,225
(Whispering): OK!
- And move on it, Blondie!
239
00:14:46,351 --> 00:14:47,728
I'm shitting in my pants here!
240
00:14:47,852 --> 00:14:49,331
(Horns honking)
241
00:14:50,655 --> 00:14:52,225
(Tires screeching)
(Lively music)
242
00:14:54,726 --> 00:14:56,763
(Tires screeching)
(Man): Hey! Watch it!
243
00:14:59,230 --> 00:15:02,177
- Hey! Mr. India!
Where are you going?
244
00:15:03,134 --> 00:15:04,135
- I don't know.
245
00:15:04,269 --> 00:15:05,907
- What? In life, or...
246
00:15:06,037 --> 00:15:08,210
(Sighing)
- I have to go!
247
00:15:08,340 --> 00:15:09,717
- W-w-wait! OK! OK!
248
00:15:09,841 --> 00:15:12,754
Today, I give you 50% off
to all sad Indians. Come!
249
00:15:12,877 --> 00:15:13,821
- That's fine!
250
00:15:13,945 --> 00:15:17,654
- What a beautiful face, huh?
One smile! One smile! One smile!
251
00:15:17,782 --> 00:15:19,489
Huh? Huh? Come, come, come, come!
252
00:15:19,618 --> 00:15:20,926
No, no! In the front!
253
00:15:21,052 --> 00:15:22,963
Indian style!
Brothers, brothers! Come!
254
00:15:24,089 --> 00:15:25,659
(Trilling)
OK, come!
255
00:15:25,790 --> 00:15:26,734
(Laughing)
256
00:15:26,858 --> 00:15:29,737
What do you do?
- I'm a doctor.
257
00:15:29,861 --> 00:15:32,364
- You're a doctor?
Check one thing, doctor!
258
00:15:32,497 --> 00:15:34,272
(Laughing): Small joke!
Don't mind! Don't mind!
259
00:15:34,399 --> 00:15:35,878
Where are you going?
260
00:15:36,968 --> 00:15:38,504
- Korma Sutra Restaurant.
261
00:15:38,637 --> 00:15:42,642
- Hey! Free diarrhea
with every plate of butler chicken, boss!
262
00:15:42,774 --> 00:15:44,344
And that owner's so horny, man!
263
00:15:44,476 --> 00:15:47,116
He must be judging the chicken nipples
inappropriately also.
264
00:15:47,245 --> 00:15:48,622
- He's my uncle.
265
00:15:48,747 --> 00:15:50,920
- Nice guy! Very nice guy!
266
00:15:52,150 --> 00:15:54,289
Oh, and that white snake lady, man!
267
00:15:54,419 --> 00:15:56,456
I'd love to show her my python.
268
00:15:56,588 --> 00:15:59,091
- Hey! She's my auntie!
And she's very sweet.
269
00:15:59,224 --> 00:16:00,760
- Oh, yeah!
- Show some respect!
270
00:16:00,892 --> 00:16:01,870
- Nice lady, huh? Great!
271
00:16:01,993 --> 00:16:04,564
- Yeah, she is!
- Oh, wow!
272
00:16:04,696 --> 00:16:06,972
(Honking horn)
Look at this hottie, huh?
273
00:16:08,099 --> 00:16:09,601
Ooh! Ass-testis!
274
00:16:09,734 --> 00:16:11,509
Hey! Excuse me, miss?
275
00:16:11,636 --> 00:16:13,377
Wanna play doctor with my friend?
He's an MD.
276
00:16:13,505 --> 00:16:15,576
- No! Shhh!
- And what are you? The nurse?
277
00:16:15,707 --> 00:16:19,484
- Actually, I'm a--
I specialize in little pussy cats!
278
00:16:19,611 --> 00:16:22,148
- And I specialize in cracking nuts.
279
00:16:22,280 --> 00:16:23,623
- Anytime!
280
00:16:24,849 --> 00:16:26,328
- I don't know him.
281
00:16:26,451 --> 00:16:27,987
I'm really sor...
282
00:16:28,119 --> 00:16:29,393
- Whoa!
283
00:16:29,521 --> 00:16:32,001
Call me tonight, huh?
555-SEXY.
284
00:16:32,123 --> 00:16:34,660
Area code: 416.
My name is Tony!
285
00:16:34,793 --> 00:16:36,898
(Laughing, horn honking)
286
00:16:37,028 --> 00:16:38,063
(Both laughing)
287
00:16:38,196 --> 00:16:39,869
- Thanks!
- Anytime, boss!
288
00:16:41,199 --> 00:16:42,974
- Be good!
- Hey, boss?
289
00:16:43,968 --> 00:16:46,881
Call, eh, if you need a cab,
or a drink or a friend
290
00:16:47,005 --> 00:16:49,076
or some hard chicks masala style!
291
00:16:49,207 --> 00:16:52,017
(Both laughing)
- Right now, all I need is a job.
292
00:16:52,143 --> 00:16:53,713
- Hey, buddy! That too!
293
00:16:54,479 --> 00:16:56,516
Tony's got your back.
- Thanks!
294
00:16:59,484 --> 00:17:00,724
(Cell ringing)
295
00:17:00,852 --> 00:17:05,096
- Hi, Tony!
This is Simone, the nutcracker...
296
00:17:05,223 --> 00:17:08,033
(Woman laughing,
bell ringing)
297
00:17:08,159 --> 00:17:11,402
(The Blue Danube
by Johan Strauss ll)
298
00:17:11,529 --> 00:17:14,703
(Vijay): Deepu, no job here
is too big or too small.
299
00:17:14,833 --> 00:17:16,073
This is just temporary.
300
00:17:16,201 --> 00:17:17,305
No!
301
00:17:18,970 --> 00:17:20,074
- Oh! My“
- Oh!
302
00:17:20,205 --> 00:17:22,276
- What are you doing?
- I'm sorry!
303
00:17:23,074 --> 00:17:24,246
(Grunting)
304
00:17:25,310 --> 00:17:26,721
(Metal clanging)
305
00:17:26,845 --> 00:17:29,086
(Men and women exclaiming,
Vijay gasping)
306
00:17:29,214 --> 00:17:30,921
(Screaming)
307
00:17:32,684 --> 00:17:35,392
Oh! Oh!
308
00:17:35,520 --> 00:17:38,296
(Timer beeping)
309
00:17:38,423 --> 00:17:40,096
- Stop your surgery, Doc!
310
00:17:40,225 --> 00:17:42,296
- Yes, Uncle!
- Come! Come with me!
311
00:17:42,427 --> 00:17:44,907
- What happened?
- Come, come, come, come!
312
00:17:47,532 --> 00:17:51,139
That is Dr. Calvin Porter,
famous plastic surgeon.
313
00:17:51,269 --> 00:17:53,271
Take good care of him
and he'll hook you up.
314
00:17:53,404 --> 00:17:55,782
(Deepak): With his daughter?
- No!With a job!
315
00:17:55,907 --> 00:17:58,080
And that's not his daughter.
His daughter's much older.
316
00:17:58,209 --> 00:17:59,711
That's his wife.
- Wow!
317
00:17:59,844 --> 00:18:03,917
- I think he implanted
all of the Silicon Valley right there!
318
00:18:04,048 --> 00:18:06,460
- Come on!
- Huh'? Huh'?
319
00:18:07,418 --> 00:18:08,726
(Bell dinging)
320
00:18:08,853 --> 00:18:11,766
Wow! This one will surely impress!
321
00:18:11,890 --> 00:18:14,029
- Ugh!
- Go, go, go!
322
00:18:14,392 --> 00:18:16,429
- This, Uncle?
- Go!
323
00:18:19,097 --> 00:18:20,940
- Uncle...
(Sighing)
324
00:18:21,065 --> 00:18:22,476
(Laughing)
325
00:18:27,405 --> 00:18:29,612
Good evening, doctor!
326
00:18:29,741 --> 00:18:31,516
(Both laughing)
-Hi!
327
00:18:31,643 --> 00:18:33,088
- Yes, yes!
- It's cute!
328
00:18:33,211 --> 00:18:35,157
- Cute!
(Woman and Dr. Porter laughing)
329
00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:38,818
Uh... we're happy to offer you
our breast--
330
00:18:38,950 --> 00:18:40,156
(Woman laughing)
I mean--
331
00:18:40,285 --> 00:18:43,459
(Woman screaming)
(Dr. Porter): You're a downright idiot!
332
00:18:44,155 --> 00:18:45,099
Don't touch her breasts!
333
00:18:45,223 --> 00:18:47,134
- It's OK, I'm a doctor!
- So am I!
334
00:18:47,258 --> 00:18:48,601
(Screaming)
335
00:18:48,726 --> 00:18:50,433
- I'm so sorry!
336
00:18:50,562 --> 00:18:51,768
Calm down!
I'm 30--
337
00:18:51,896 --> 00:18:54,638
(Deepak and woman screaming)
338
00:18:56,134 --> 00:18:57,875
It's gone! It's gone! It's gone!
339
00:18:58,002 --> 00:19:00,312
- No, no, no! Don't go!
- I'm sorry!
340
00:19:00,438 --> 00:19:02,816
- We're never eating here again!
- Please don't go!
341
00:19:02,941 --> 00:19:04,318
- Punjabi perverts!
342
00:19:04,442 --> 00:19:07,048
- What's wrong with you?
You can't even serve lobster?
343
00:19:07,178 --> 00:19:08,316
What idiot made you a doctor?
344
00:19:08,446 --> 00:19:11,052
- Do you think I came here
to work in your shitty restaurant?
345
00:19:11,182 --> 00:19:12,661
Keep your stupid hat!
346
00:19:14,953 --> 00:19:16,990
- Fifteen years I've slogged
to get where I am!
347
00:19:17,121 --> 00:19:19,397
And you want everything in 15 days?
348
00:19:21,292 --> 00:19:23,966
(Grunting)
(Glass shattering)
349
00:19:25,630 --> 00:19:27,974
(Grunting, cat howling)
350
00:19:28,099 --> 00:19:29,942
(Cats meowing)
351
00:19:39,010 --> 00:19:40,080
(Laughing)
352
00:19:40,211 --> 00:19:41,849
- A little lower!
- Mmm!
353
00:19:41,980 --> 00:19:43,186
(Cell ringing)
354
00:19:43,314 --> 00:19:47,490
- What up, doctor?
- Tony? I need a drink.
355
00:19:47,619 --> 00:19:50,862
(Laughter)
So, I'm fighting this lobster,
356
00:19:50,989 --> 00:19:53,094
and the husband says,
"Don't touch my wife's boobs!"
357
00:19:53,224 --> 00:19:55,568
I'm like,
"Your wife has boobs in her lobster!"
358
00:19:55,693 --> 00:19:57,229
- Take my wiener! Take my wiener!
Touch it!
359
00:19:57,362 --> 00:19:59,774
With your mouth! Take the wiener!
- I don't want it!
360
00:19:59,898 --> 00:20:01,707
- He doesn't want it.
Give it to me.
361
00:20:01,833 --> 00:20:03,779
- Tell me one thing.
Why are you such an elitist?
362
00:20:03,902 --> 00:20:05,904
Why don't you wanna join us?
You think you're too good to be a cabbie?
363
00:20:06,037 --> 00:20:08,916
Join us! Be a cabbie like us!
- Cabbie, me?
364
00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:12,783
- OK, so what, this guy's saying
he's better off wearing stupid hats,
365
00:20:12,911 --> 00:20:15,983
looking at boobies, putting stupid lobsters
in there, looking around!
366
00:20:17,215 --> 00:20:19,718
- Listen, I don't know anything
about lobsters, OK,
367
00:20:19,851 --> 00:20:21,228
but I heard Tony has crabs.
368
00:20:21,352 --> 00:20:22,763
- Whoa!
- Ah!
369
00:20:22,887 --> 00:20:26,391
You wanna see my crabs?
Come, come! You like seafood?
370
00:20:26,524 --> 00:20:29,801
(Lily shouting, indistinct)
- I'll cut off all 2 inches of it right now!
371
00:20:29,928 --> 00:20:31,601
- Simone!
- Hmm, what's up?
372
00:20:31,729 --> 00:20:32,901
- Where did you find this lowlife?
373
00:20:33,031 --> 00:20:35,910
- I saw his blue balls
hanging off the back of his cab,
374
00:20:36,034 --> 00:20:37,911
and I just felt so sorry for him!
375
00:20:38,036 --> 00:20:39,276
- Hey, hey, hey!
376
00:20:39,404 --> 00:20:41,941
- Guys, I should... I should go.
377
00:20:42,073 --> 00:20:44,986
- Go, yeah! What you should do
is come to work with me tomorrow!
378
00:20:45,109 --> 00:20:48,147
- Yeah!
- Come on! Come just pan-time!
379
00:20:48,279 --> 00:20:52,125
- Guys, I'm a doctor!
380
00:20:52,250 --> 00:20:54,321
- I'm a Ph.D. in psychology.
381
00:20:54,452 --> 00:20:56,329
- Physics graduate!
Beijing U.
382
00:20:56,921 --> 00:20:58,832
- And Tony graduated from driving school!
383
00:20:58,957 --> 00:21:01,267
- I didn't wanna study
like all you idiots, OK?
384
00:21:01,392 --> 00:21:04,396
I always knew I was gonna be a cabbie.
I'm just not a dickhead!
385
00:21:04,529 --> 00:21:06,531
- I guess that's me:
386
00:21:07,565 --> 00:21:08,635
Dr. Dickhead!
387
00:21:08,766 --> 00:21:12,179
(All laughing except Deepak)
388
00:21:12,303 --> 00:21:14,977
(All repeating except Deepak):
Dickhead! Dickhead! Dickhead!
389
00:21:18,876 --> 00:21:19,911
- What up, Pete?
390
00:21:21,713 --> 00:21:23,249
Leave me hangin', bro!
391
00:21:25,149 --> 00:21:27,288
This is, uh, Deepak,
who I told you about.
392
00:21:27,418 --> 00:21:30,865
He comes from 3 generations
of the finest cabbies.
393
00:21:30,989 --> 00:21:33,970
And, uh, this is our boss, Pete.
He comes from 3 generations
394
00:21:34,092 --> 00:21:35,799
of the smelliest, grumpy fans.
395
00:21:36,494 --> 00:21:38,337
- What the hell are you still doing here?
396
00:21:39,630 --> 00:21:40,665
- I love you too!
397
00:21:41,899 --> 00:21:43,310
- Doctor, huh?
398
00:21:43,434 --> 00:21:45,107
Hmm!
399
00:21:45,903 --> 00:21:48,281
Well, son, like we haven't seen
one of those in here before.
400
00:21:48,406 --> 00:21:52,445
- Sir, these days I feel like a victim
of some grand cosmic joke.
401
00:21:52,577 --> 00:21:54,887
- Yeah, you and me both.
402
00:21:55,013 --> 00:21:58,620
We've now got more Ph.D.'s
in here than Harvard.
403
00:22:02,587 --> 00:22:03,827
- Sir?
404
00:22:03,955 --> 00:22:05,195
- Hmm...
405
00:22:05,323 --> 00:22:08,896
- I don't mean to be rude,
but how are you treating your cancer?
406
00:22:09,027 --> 00:22:10,836
- Oh, what the hell'?
407
00:22:12,030 --> 00:22:13,008
(Sighing)
408
00:22:13,131 --> 00:22:15,202
- The anti-nausea pills...
409
00:22:15,767 --> 00:22:20,147
Look, I'm not an oncologist,
but I can still help.
410
00:22:20,271 --> 00:22:23,844
(Chuckling): Yeah! OK...
411
00:22:24,976 --> 00:22:26,717
I have lung cancer.
412
00:22:27,345 --> 00:22:29,655
Chemo didn't work.
- I'm sorry!
413
00:22:29,781 --> 00:22:32,887
- Oh, don't be sorry.
I'm the one who smoked.
414
00:22:35,219 --> 00:22:36,857
Come over here.
415
00:22:36,988 --> 00:22:41,232
Baby... OK!
Right there!
416
00:22:44,062 --> 00:22:46,565
Remember, you're a cabbie, not a pilot.
- Yes, yes!
417
00:22:47,031 --> 00:22:48,533
- No drinking, no drugs.
418
00:22:48,666 --> 00:22:50,168
- No!
- No sex.
419
00:22:50,301 --> 00:22:52,281
I got eyes in every cab!
420
00:22:52,970 --> 00:22:55,177
Shut up!
Don't smile!
421
00:22:55,306 --> 00:22:57,377
(Shutter clicking)
422
00:22:57,508 --> 00:23:00,352
- Deepu! You're not a cabbie!
423
00:23:00,478 --> 00:23:02,754
You're a doctor!
- And why do you have to move out?
424
00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:05,121
Because of what I said?
- You guys won't get it!
425
00:23:05,249 --> 00:23:06,250
- What?
426
00:23:07,385 --> 00:23:09,592
- Uncle, you were right.
427
00:23:10,421 --> 00:23:13,300
No job here is too big or too small.
(Sighing)
428
00:23:13,424 --> 00:23:15,927
And, Ma, I have to find my own way now.
429
00:23:17,395 --> 00:23:20,308
- He cannot travel the path
430
00:23:20,431 --> 00:23:23,935
until he becomes the path itself.
431
00:23:25,570 --> 00:23:27,049
I start every new journey
432
00:23:27,171 --> 00:23:30,084
with the blessings
of the elephant god, Ganesh.
433
00:23:30,942 --> 00:23:33,582
May it bring you all the happiness
that it's brought to me.
434
00:23:33,711 --> 00:23:34,815
(Chuckling)
435
00:23:34,946 --> 00:23:37,290
- Oh, Auntie! Thank you!
You're the best!
436
00:23:37,415 --> 00:23:39,156
(Laughing)
437
00:23:39,283 --> 00:23:41,285
See you, Uncle Vijay.
438
00:23:43,421 --> 00:23:45,298
Huh?
mo?
439
00:23:45,756 --> 00:23:46,734
'Huh?
440
00:23:47,558 --> 00:23:50,004
- Do it! Come on!
- Huh!
441
00:23:50,128 --> 00:23:51,300
(Both laughing)
442
00:23:52,697 --> 00:23:53,937
- Bye, Mom.
443
00:23:56,100 --> 00:23:58,444
- Never tell anyone that you're a cabbie.
444
00:23:58,569 --> 00:24:02,312
And if you see anyone who looks like family,
don't you dare stop for them!
445
00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:03,418
(Chuckling)
446
00:24:04,775 --> 00:24:07,688
- "Hey Meat Ball"?
- Welcome home, boss!
447
00:24:10,114 --> 00:24:11,718
Hey, Bruno!
448
00:24:12,817 --> 00:24:15,195
Hey! This is Deepak
who I told you about.
449
00:24:15,319 --> 00:24:16,798
- Ah!
- He's gonna be our landlord.
450
00:24:16,921 --> 00:24:19,527
(Italian accent):
So, this is your new roommate?
451
00:24:19,657 --> 00:24:22,035
- Are we sharing a room?
- We're sharing a bed.
452
00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:25,039
But it's OK. It doesn't matter!
And this is his beautiful daughter, Mimi!
453
00:24:25,163 --> 00:24:28,167
- Hello, Mimi!
- Hi!
454
00:24:28,299 --> 00:24:31,371
- This guy can check you out anytime.
He's a doctor!
455
00:24:31,502 --> 00:24:34,176
- Ah! Dottore!
456
00:24:34,305 --> 00:24:36,808
- From India!
- Ah, India! Come sit! Sit!
457
00:24:36,941 --> 00:24:38,682
(Laughing)
458
00:24:41,512 --> 00:24:46,484
Ah! This guy always
banging chicks in the room.
459
00:24:46,617 --> 00:24:50,155
I tell him, "No banging chicks in the room!"
- Why do you bang--
460
00:24:50,288 --> 00:24:53,826
- First, you bang the chicks in the room,
then you wanna bang a guy.
461
00:24:53,958 --> 00:24:56,029
What next? You wanna bang me?
- No!
462
00:24:56,160 --> 00:24:59,403
- Why would I wanna bang you?
- Sir, there will be hanky-panky.
463
00:24:59,530 --> 00:25:00,565
- Yeah!
- No banging!
464
00:25:00,698 --> 00:25:04,373
(Laughing): Dottore,
you gotta try today's special!
465
00:25:04,502 --> 00:25:08,746
- Ah!
- My daughter's grilled octopussy. Muah!
466
00:25:08,873 --> 00:25:10,352
Mimi!
- Huh'.7
467
00:25:10,474 --> 00:25:13,080
- Two special, huh?
- Yeah! Two for the doctor! Oh!
468
00:25:13,211 --> 00:25:16,658
- Sir, actually, I'm a vegetarian.
469
00:25:16,781 --> 00:25:19,660
- Vegetarian?
- Yes, but Tony isn't! He--
470
00:25:19,784 --> 00:25:23,095
- Hey, I... I don't want no octopussy.
Why don't you eat the octopussy?
471
00:25:23,221 --> 00:25:25,223
- You don't want my daughter's octopussy?
472
00:25:25,890 --> 00:25:28,029
You, dottore!
You will love my daughter's--
473
00:25:28,159 --> 00:25:31,163
- Yeah, you'll love the octopussy!
- Sir, I don't eat meat.
474
00:25:31,295 --> 00:25:33,741
- Why you not want
my daughter's octopussy?
475
00:25:33,864 --> 00:25:34,842
(Both laughing)
476
00:25:34,966 --> 00:25:36,604
Dirty guys!
477
00:25:36,734 --> 00:25:39,738
You think I talk about her VJ?
478
00:25:39,870 --> 00:25:41,372
- I have an Uncle Vijay!
479
00:25:41,505 --> 00:25:44,679
- Your uncle has a VJ?
(Tony): No, no! His uncle is Vijay.
480
00:25:44,809 --> 00:25:46,117
- Yes!
(Choking and coughing)
481
00:25:46,244 --> 00:25:47,621
- Your uncle is your auntie?
482
00:25:47,745 --> 00:25:50,225
- No! His auntie has a VJ.
- My uncle--
483
00:25:50,348 --> 00:25:51,793
- Your auntie has a VJ?
- Obviously, she has a VJ!
484
00:25:51,916 --> 00:25:55,363
- Your uncle doesn't have a VJ?
(Deepak): His name is Vijay!
485
00:25:55,486 --> 00:25:57,659
Vijay is an Indian name.
- His name--
486
00:25:57,788 --> 00:26:00,029
(Mimi continues choking)
But it doesn't mean--
487
00:26:00,157 --> 00:26:01,727
- It's not a VJ.
- No, no!
488
00:26:01,859 --> 00:26:05,068
Mimi! Mimi!
- Who has the VJ?
489
00:26:05,363 --> 00:26:07,274
- Mimi! Mimi!
490
00:26:07,398 --> 00:26:10,743
She's choking! Tony, help me!
- Mimi, I got you!
491
00:26:10,868 --> 00:26:13,246
- OK, OK! Ready!
- OK, ready? Ready? One!
492
00:26:13,371 --> 00:26:14,372
Hey!
Two!
493
00:26:14,505 --> 00:26:15,711
- Hey!
- Three!
494
00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:20,880
It When the Moon hits your eye
like a big pizza pie $1
495
00:26:21,012 --> 00:26:21,990
# That's amore... #
496
00:26:22,113 --> 00:26:23,558
- You're OK, Mimi?
- You're so sexy!
497
00:26:24,382 --> 00:26:25,622
- OK! You're OK!
498
00:26:25,750 --> 00:26:28,356
(Panting, coughing)
499
00:26:28,486 --> 00:26:30,557
- My Lord! Dottore!
- She's OK!
500
00:26:30,688 --> 00:26:33,498
- Grazie!
- I told you, huh'? Hey!
501
00:26:33,624 --> 00:26:35,399
- Hey, hey!
502
00:26:35,593 --> 00:26:37,595
(Drill whirring)
503
00:26:59,784 --> 00:27:02,196
- Come on, Deepak!
Confidence!
504
00:27:02,320 --> 00:27:03,765
(Horn honking, tires screeching)
505
00:27:03,888 --> 00:27:06,266
(Woman): You asshole!
- I'm sorry!
506
00:27:08,993 --> 00:27:11,564
(Man): Watch it!
This isn't India, buddy!
507
00:27:12,430 --> 00:27:13,704
(Man): Get a license!
508
00:27:13,831 --> 00:27:16,334
(Tires screeching,
horns honking)
509
00:27:16,467 --> 00:27:18,413
(Man): Hey! Watch out!
510
00:27:20,838 --> 00:27:22,317
(Exhaling sharply)
511
00:27:24,008 --> 00:27:26,318
(Woman): Cabbie? Cabbie!
512
00:27:34,685 --> 00:27:35,686
- Good day, madam!
513
00:27:35,820 --> 00:27:37,800
- 368 Glen Manor Drive East.
514
00:27:37,922 --> 00:27:40,402
And don't take the Lake Shore,
take Eastern.
515
00:27:40,524 --> 00:27:42,003
' Yes!
516
00:27:48,466 --> 00:27:50,605
- Could you go any slower?
517
00:27:51,702 --> 00:27:53,045
- I'm sorry!
(Horn honking)
518
00:27:54,138 --> 00:27:58,314
I waited 3 hours for a physical
which took 5 minutes.
519
00:27:58,442 --> 00:28:00,012
- Yeah...
520
00:28:00,144 --> 00:28:03,148
- No, no, no, no!
Take a left! Take a left!
521
00:28:03,280 --> 00:28:04,452
- Yes! Of course!
522
00:28:05,383 --> 00:28:07,090
(Whispering): Stupid cabbie!
523
00:28:08,452 --> 00:28:12,423
- Madam, um, do you check
your blood pressure regularly?
524
00:28:12,556 --> 00:28:15,230
(Scoffing)
- What's the point of checking?
525
00:28:15,359 --> 00:28:19,205
I'd go broke if I had to buy every pill
my drug plan doesn't cover.
526
00:28:20,064 --> 00:28:22,772
- Madam, did your physical today
include a mammogram?
527
00:28:22,900 --> 00:28:24,504
- A mammogram?
528
00:28:24,635 --> 00:28:28,208
- You know, today, for women over 40,
it's so important that--
529
00:28:28,339 --> 00:28:30,580
- They said they'd get me an appointment.
530
00:28:30,708 --> 00:28:31,880
It could take 6 months.
531
00:28:32,009 --> 00:28:34,751
- Six months? That's...
532
00:28:41,385 --> 00:28:44,195
Oh! No, no!
It's a free ride today, madam.
533
00:28:44,321 --> 00:28:45,994
You're my first customer here.
534
00:28:47,391 --> 00:28:48,893
- Well, thank you, cabbie!
535
00:28:49,026 --> 00:28:51,438
You're a lot more caring than my doctors!
536
00:28:52,563 --> 00:28:53,564
You should've been a doctor.
537
00:28:59,670 --> 00:29:03,311
Oh! What the...
538
00:29:03,441 --> 00:29:05,387
Come back here!
539
00:29:05,509 --> 00:29:08,581
This is not the place!
540
00:29:08,712 --> 00:29:11,716
- Why are you looking so stressed?
- I'm fine.
541
00:29:12,783 --> 00:29:14,228
- You want a hug?
542
00:29:14,351 --> 00:29:16,888
- Tony, it's been 4 hours, one client...
543
00:29:18,222 --> 00:29:19,496
How does this work?
544
00:29:20,458 --> 00:29:23,098
- OK, relax, boss.
Tony will tell you, huh?
545
00:29:23,227 --> 00:29:25,571
There's an an to picking up chiquitas,
546
00:29:25,696 --> 00:29:28,233
and there's an an
to picking up clients.
547
00:29:28,365 --> 00:29:30,572
Come, come! Go ahead!
Take a U-turn. Cheers!
548
00:29:30,701 --> 00:29:34,012
Wow! Tall and blonde!
Oh, sexy combo!
549
00:29:34,138 --> 00:29:35,242
Hurry, hurry!
Quick! Follow!
550
00:29:35,372 --> 00:29:37,010
Wow!
(Horn honking)
551
00:29:37,141 --> 00:29:39,280
Hey, Miss Long Legs!
552
00:29:39,410 --> 00:29:41,788
You're too beautiful
to take the bus, huh?
553
00:29:41,912 --> 00:29:43,619
Why don't you hop in the cab?
554
00:29:43,747 --> 00:29:47,695
Say something!
- Hey, baby! Do you work for NASA?
555
00:29:47,818 --> 00:29:49,354
'Cause you're out of this world!
556
00:29:49,487 --> 00:29:50,625
(Tires screeching)
557
00:29:50,754 --> 00:29:51,926
Oh shit! It's her!
558
00:29:53,257 --> 00:29:55,362
- You got a lot of pickup lines, huh?
559
00:29:55,493 --> 00:29:57,734
- Whoa, whoa! Shit!
Please, miss! Please listen!
560
00:29:58,596 --> 00:30:00,234
Please listen!
Excuse me, miss!
561
00:30:02,500 --> 00:30:03,638
When did you get pregnant?
562
00:30:03,767 --> 00:30:05,440
- Immaculate Conception.
563
00:30:05,569 --> 00:30:06,513
(Sighing)
564
00:30:06,637 --> 00:30:08,548
- What am I saying?
- Jerk!
565
00:30:08,672 --> 00:30:11,949
- Miss, I'm really sorry!
That came out totally wrong.
566
00:30:12,076 --> 00:30:14,147
It's getting late,
and it's going to rain.
567
00:30:14,278 --> 00:30:16,485
Let me give you a ride, please.
It's...
568
00:30:16,614 --> 00:30:18,787
(Thunder rumbling)
569
00:30:19,850 --> 00:30:22,694
Please? It's really the least I can do.
570
00:30:23,354 --> 00:30:26,563
(Thunder crashing,
horns honking)
571
00:30:26,690 --> 00:30:29,899
So, have you been pregnant often'?
572
00:30:30,861 --> 00:30:32,033
- What's that supposed to mean?
573
00:30:32,162 --> 00:30:34,836
- Nothing! I'm just making the small talk.
574
00:30:34,965 --> 00:30:36,239
- Yeah, he is actually quite small.
575
00:30:36,367 --> 00:30:38,677
(Whimpering, panting)
576
00:30:38,802 --> 00:30:41,442
- Oh my God!
My water just broke!
577
00:30:42,773 --> 00:30:45,720
- Shit, dude! You pissed her off so much,
she actually peed her pants, huh?
578
00:30:45,843 --> 00:30:48,824
On the seat and the floor
and the shoes and everything!
579
00:30:48,946 --> 00:30:51,426
- You're gonna be OK!
We need to get her to a hospital.
580
00:30:51,549 --> 00:30:52,653
- Look at this traffic!
581
00:30:53,484 --> 00:30:54,428
- Do something!
- Oh my God!
582
00:30:54,552 --> 00:30:56,554
- I'm gonna get us out, OK?
I'm gonna get us out of this!
583
00:30:57,621 --> 00:30:59,328
- I can't believe it's happening now!
584
00:30:59,456 --> 00:31:01,367
- Just please calm down, miss!
585
00:31:01,492 --> 00:31:04,769
(Tony shouting, indistinct)
(Horns honking)
586
00:31:04,895 --> 00:31:07,341
- This is a cabbie emergency!
The baby is about to pop out!
587
00:31:08,365 --> 00:31:10,675
Please! Come on!
- How are you feeling today, miss?
588
00:31:11,669 --> 00:31:13,910
(Tony shouting in distance)
589
00:31:14,038 --> 00:31:16,746
- I've been having contractions
and the doctor just said it was--
590
00:31:16,874 --> 00:31:19,445
- False alarms!
They're called Braxton Hicks contractions.
591
00:31:19,577 --> 00:31:21,523
- Yeah! Exactly what he said.
592
00:31:21,645 --> 00:31:24,387
- The baby is coming! Aaah!
593
00:31:24,515 --> 00:31:26,825
(Panting)
- Now I think I feel it coming!
594
00:31:28,686 --> 00:31:31,257
(Screaming)
595
00:31:31,388 --> 00:31:33,231
(Horns honking)
- Come on!
596
00:31:33,357 --> 00:31:34,768
Don't stop here, you idiot!
597
00:31:35,993 --> 00:31:39,600
Pull the car, Deepak! Come on!
Indian style! Come on!
598
00:31:39,730 --> 00:31:42,267
(Tony shouting, indistinct)
599
00:31:42,399 --> 00:31:43,673
Driving like a slow idiot!
600
00:31:47,705 --> 00:31:50,311
(Panting)
OK!
601
00:31:50,407 --> 00:31:52,318
(Tony, indistinct)
- Breathe! Just breathe!
602
00:31:52,443 --> 00:31:54,047
- I'm gonna call 911, OK?
603
00:31:54,178 --> 00:31:55,156
- They'll never make it.
604
00:31:55,279 --> 00:31:59,125
Tony, you'll have to get out,
come around and take my place.
605
00:31:59,249 --> 00:32:01,627
- Take your place? Are you crazy?
I'm not going in the rain!
606
00:32:01,752 --> 00:32:03,925
(Screaming)
OK!
607
00:32:04,054 --> 00:32:05,226
OK!
608
00:32:07,091 --> 00:32:08,934
(Tony talking, indistinct)
609
00:32:09,059 --> 00:32:11,596
(Panting)
610
00:32:11,729 --> 00:32:13,800
(Tony shouting outside)
- OK...
611
00:32:14,465 --> 00:32:16,445
I need you to come here,
lie down headfirst.
612
00:32:16,567 --> 00:32:17,671
" No!
613
00:32:17,801 --> 00:32:19,337
- Please, miss, trust me,
I'm a doctor.
614
00:32:19,470 --> 00:32:21,450
- No! You're a cabbie!
615
00:32:21,572 --> 00:32:23,984
- Miss, you're gonna have your baby here
right here, right now.
616
00:32:24,108 --> 00:32:25,678
Please, you have to trust me, OK?
617
00:32:25,809 --> 00:32:28,790
(Tony shouting in distance,
knocking on window)
618
00:32:28,912 --> 00:32:30,949
(Grunting)
619
00:32:31,081 --> 00:32:33,459
- Let me in! Serious shrinkage, dude!
620
00:32:34,652 --> 00:32:35,596
(Knocking on window)
621
00:32:35,719 --> 00:32:37,699
- OK, just breathe.
622
00:32:38,822 --> 00:32:41,598
I'll be right back.
- Wait, what?
623
00:32:41,725 --> 00:32:44,262
(Tony groaning)
624
00:32:45,963 --> 00:32:47,601
- Hello!
- Good! Good!
625
00:32:47,731 --> 00:32:49,301
- It wasn't supposed to happen like this!
626
00:32:50,634 --> 00:32:52,875
I was supposed to remember this forever!
627
00:32:53,003 --> 00:32:54,448
- OK! I'm on it!
628
00:32:55,272 --> 00:32:56,376
- Don't even think about it!
629
00:32:57,341 --> 00:32:59,116
- Yes, ma'am!
(Screaming)
630
00:32:59,243 --> 00:33:01,621
- Tony, I need the vodka
to clean my hands and arms!
631
00:33:01,745 --> 00:33:03,156
- With what'?
- With the vodka!
632
00:33:03,280 --> 00:33:04,850
- OK, then say that! Go!
633
00:33:05,616 --> 00:33:10,690
(Panting): OK!
- OK, uh, now, miss, miss, miss?
634
00:33:10,821 --> 00:33:13,324
I need to take off your pants now, OK?
- OK!
635
00:33:14,358 --> 00:33:17,362
Do you even know what you're doing?
Why don't we just wait for an ambulance?
636
00:33:17,494 --> 00:33:20,566
- Miss, you have to listen to me, OK?
Trust me, I'm a doctor.
637
00:33:20,698 --> 00:33:24,077
(Both screaming)
638
00:33:24,201 --> 00:33:26,238
I need you to open your legs now a little.
639
00:33:26,370 --> 00:33:27,371
- It's OK!
- Good!
640
00:33:27,504 --> 00:33:29,177
Good!
(Crying)
641
00:33:29,306 --> 00:33:32,219
Breathe shallow and rapid!
- Shallow and rapid breaths!
642
00:33:32,342 --> 00:33:33,685
- OK'? OK!
643
00:33:33,811 --> 00:33:35,347
(Tony): Shallow! Breathe!
644
00:33:35,479 --> 00:33:38,585
(All breathing rapidly)
645
00:33:38,716 --> 00:33:40,821
- Only push when you feel a contraction, OK?
646
00:33:40,951 --> 00:33:43,158
- Yeah, only push when you have...
647
00:33:44,088 --> 00:33:46,034
- On second thought, tape this!
If he does anything wrong,
648
00:33:46,156 --> 00:33:47,100
I'm gonna sue his ass!
649
00:33:47,224 --> 00:33:48,567
- Yes! Yes, ma'am!
- OK?
650
00:33:48,692 --> 00:33:50,035
- Are you ready? Ready?
651
00:33:50,160 --> 00:33:51,571
Come on! Now breathe!
652
00:33:51,695 --> 00:33:53,265
Shallow, rapid breaths!
- Shallow and rapid!
653
00:33:53,397 --> 00:33:54,398
Shallow and rapid!
654
00:33:54,531 --> 00:33:55,908
You can do this!
655
00:33:56,033 --> 00:33:57,341
- Ready? Push!
656
00:33:57,468 --> 00:33:59,846
(Deepak and Tony): Push!
657
00:33:59,970 --> 00:34:02,849
(Natalie and Tony screaming)
658
00:34:03,907 --> 00:34:08,185
(Crying)
- Hey, hey! You can do this!
659
00:34:08,312 --> 00:34:10,758
(Whispering): I can't do it...
- Yes, you can! You can do this!
660
00:34:10,881 --> 00:34:13,418
- No!
- Tony, hand her the Ganesh!
661
00:34:13,550 --> 00:34:14,585
- Yes, sir!
662
00:34:15,018 --> 00:34:15,996
(Natalie panting, crying)
663
00:34:16,120 --> 00:34:19,567
- OK! Hold ii tight!
It'll help! OK'? Ready?
664
00:34:19,690 --> 00:34:22,967
Ready? Ready?
Push! Push! Push!
665
00:34:23,093 --> 00:34:24,902
(Screaming)
666
00:34:25,028 --> 00:34:29,875
Push! OK! OK, I can see it!
I can see the head! Push! Push!
667
00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:34,039
One, two, three!
Push! Push!
668
00:34:36,373 --> 00:34:37,613
Push! Push!
669
00:34:37,741 --> 00:34:39,550
(Screaming, grunting)
670
00:34:39,676 --> 00:34:41,747
(Crying)
671
00:34:41,879 --> 00:34:43,916
(Laughing, crying)
672
00:34:45,415 --> 00:34:47,656
(Breathing heavily)
673
00:34:47,785 --> 00:34:51,494
' Why... Why isn't he crying?
Why isn't my baby crying?
674
00:34:51,622 --> 00:34:53,533
- Somethings wrong with the baby.
Put it back in!
675
00:34:53,657 --> 00:34:55,967
- Why isn't my baby crying?
676
00:34:57,027 --> 00:34:58,301
- He's gonna be OK!
677
00:34:58,896 --> 00:35:00,000
- Deepak, do something!
678
00:35:00,130 --> 00:35:02,610
(Crying)
679
00:35:03,433 --> 00:35:04,411
It's OK! Shhh!
680
00:35:10,874 --> 00:35:12,512
(Baby crying)
681
00:35:12,643 --> 00:35:15,954
- He's... he's crying! He's crying!
(Laughing)
682
00:35:16,079 --> 00:35:17,285
He's crying! Yes!
683
00:35:17,414 --> 00:35:19,155
(Baby crying)
684
00:35:20,751 --> 00:35:22,321
(Panting)
685
00:35:22,452 --> 00:35:24,056
- Congratulations!
686
00:35:24,188 --> 00:35:25,531
It's a boy!
687
00:35:25,656 --> 00:35:27,567
(Baby crying)
688
00:35:38,335 --> 00:35:40,212
(Sighing)
689
00:35:40,337 --> 00:35:42,374
(Tony): Then I saw the baby.
(Man): Good to go!
690
00:35:42,506 --> 00:35:44,383
- A little bit of vomit came, actually.
691
00:35:44,842 --> 00:35:46,446
From me, not from the baby!
692
00:35:46,577 --> 00:35:49,057
Although, the baby also vomited,
but that I've heard.
693
00:35:49,179 --> 00:35:54,060
Deepak told me natural juices come
from all parts of the baby and the mother.
694
00:35:54,184 --> 00:35:57,597
It's quite gross and beautiful,
actually, at the same time.
695
00:35:58,388 --> 00:36:00,868
You know, cabbies are always prepared,
I had this vodka...
696
00:36:03,327 --> 00:36:04,465
- Close it up!
697
00:36:07,631 --> 00:36:10,840
- Actually, you know, I saved the day!
I don't mean to be...
698
00:36:10,968 --> 00:36:14,347
- What can $37.50 get you nowadays?
699
00:36:14,471 --> 00:36:16,144
The cos! of delivering a baby
700
00:36:16,273 --> 00:36:19,049
if you don't mind having the baby
in the backseat of a cab.
701
00:36:19,176 --> 00:36:20,917
(Tony): I'm on it! Come on!
702
00:36:21,044 --> 00:36:22,580
(Deepak): Now breathe!
Shallow, rapid breaths!
703
00:36:22,713 --> 00:36:23,885
(Tony): Shallow and rapid!
704
00:36:24,014 --> 00:36:26,585
(Natalie screaming on video)
705
00:36:26,717 --> 00:36:29,254
(Deepak): Hey! You can do this!
You can do this, OK?
706
00:36:29,386 --> 00:36:30,922
You have to be strong!
One more push!
707
00:36:31,054 --> 00:36:35,764
(Man): A young cab driver, Deepak V. Chopra,
delivered a baby today in his cab.
708
00:36:35,893 --> 00:36:38,806
(Tony): Something's wrong with the baby!
(Natalie): Why isn't my baby crying?
709
00:36:39,563 --> 00:36:40,906
(Tony): Deepak, do something!
710
00:36:53,477 --> 00:36:55,184
- I heard you had quite the delivery!
711
00:36:55,312 --> 00:36:57,019
- Oh, you have no idea.
- Mmm!
712
00:36:57,147 --> 00:36:58,182
(Knocking)
- Good morning!
713
00:36:58,315 --> 00:36:59,794
- Hi!
- Good morning!
714
00:36:59,917 --> 00:37:01,590
- I hope I'm not interrupting.
715
00:37:01,718 --> 00:37:03,994
- No! Come on in.
- Thank you!
716
00:37:05,756 --> 00:37:10,034
I... I thought I'd come and check up
on my first patients.
717
00:37:10,160 --> 00:37:11,901
- Hey, Dr. Cabbie!
718
00:37:12,029 --> 00:37:13,667
- You can call me Deepak.
719
00:37:14,598 --> 00:37:16,771
- My name's Natalie, by the way.
720
00:37:16,900 --> 00:37:19,744
(Laughing):
It's nice to meet you, Natalie!
721
00:37:23,573 --> 00:37:25,052
So, how is he doing?
722
00:37:25,175 --> 00:37:26,654
- He's so good!
- Yeah?
723
00:37:26,777 --> 00:37:28,450
- He's so cute!
724
00:37:29,012 --> 00:37:31,891
- Have you found a name yet?
- I got nothing!
725
00:37:32,015 --> 00:37:35,155
I've been working on it all day.
I can't think of anything.
726
00:37:35,285 --> 00:37:36,730
Any Suggestions?
727
00:37:36,853 --> 00:37:38,093
- Uh...
728
00:37:39,389 --> 00:37:41,335
(Laughing): How about Ganesh?
729
00:37:42,559 --> 00:37:43,765
- Wait, you mean, like, that thing?
730
00:37:43,894 --> 00:37:47,137
- That thing is the Hindu elephant god,
Ganesh.
731
00:37:47,965 --> 00:37:50,206
- Cool!
- They say he's the god
732
00:37:50,334 --> 00:37:54,009
of all things auspicious,
the remover of all obstacles.
733
00:37:54,137 --> 00:37:56,515
- So he's even more of a celebrity
than you and I.
734
00:37:56,640 --> 00:37:58,517
I imagine that you've seen this?
735
00:37:59,710 --> 00:38:02,190
"Hot Babe Gives..."
(Both): "Birth in a Cab."
736
00:38:02,312 --> 00:38:04,588
- Awesome!
- I'm really sorry about all of this.
737
00:38:04,715 --> 00:38:07,855
My friend Tony, he says
he accidentally hit "upload" and--
738
00:38:07,985 --> 00:38:09,020
- Well, he's a jerk.
739
00:38:09,152 --> 00:38:10,495
- I know.
740
00:38:10,620 --> 00:38:12,827
(Both chuckling)
741
00:38:12,956 --> 00:38:16,529
- Do you, um, do you wanna hold him?
742
00:38:16,660 --> 00:38:18,298
- I would love to.
743
00:38:18,428 --> 00:38:20,135
OK...
744
00:38:20,263 --> 00:38:21,970
- Isn't he sweet?
All right!
745
00:38:22,099 --> 00:38:24,045
- Come on! Come on!
- Look it! Yeah!
746
00:38:24,167 --> 00:38:26,443
- Yeah!
- on!
747
00:38:26,570 --> 00:38:29,517
- Your father must be so proud!
748
00:38:29,740 --> 00:38:31,720
(Humming)
(Andrew): Colin?
749
00:38:32,175 --> 00:38:33,586
(Sighing)
750
00:38:34,511 --> 00:38:37,151
Your little accident
is all over the damn press!
751
00:38:37,280 --> 00:38:39,487
This could cost you your bid!
752
00:38:40,350 --> 00:38:41,829
- Oh, I look good in print!
753
00:38:41,952 --> 00:38:43,295
Hi, Dad!
754
00:38:43,420 --> 00:38:46,026
A bit of news and controversy
is never a bad thing.
755
00:38:46,156 --> 00:38:48,363
- Bonnie!
- Have a seat!
756
00:38:48,492 --> 00:38:52,235
It's a speed bump!
Relax! I'm in it to win it.
757
00:38:52,362 --> 00:38:55,900
- Then stop being a poster boy for page 3,
and start making some real news!
758
00:38:56,033 --> 00:38:57,307
- Headlines? Easy-peasy!
759
00:38:57,434 --> 00:38:59,675
I'll throw on a suit
and start kissing babies.
760
00:38:59,803 --> 00:39:01,214
- You wanna be the next mayor?
761
00:39:01,338 --> 00:39:03,579
Then start by practising
with your own baby!
762
00:39:03,707 --> 00:39:07,052
'Cause granddad wants a happy ending.
763
00:39:09,646 --> 00:39:10,647
. Happy ending?
764
00:39:12,616 --> 00:39:14,391
- You must be psychic.
(Phone ringing)
765
00:39:14,518 --> 00:39:16,225
- I can't wait 4 months
for my appointment.
766
00:39:16,353 --> 00:39:17,525
I need to see Dr. Cabbie.
767
00:39:17,654 --> 00:39:20,430
- Our company is called Co-op Cabs,
not Co-op Clinic.
768
00:39:20,557 --> 00:39:23,094
- Can I speak with Dr. Cabbie?
- There's no doctor here!
769
00:39:23,226 --> 00:39:25,934
- I can't find a family doctor!
- This isn't a doctor's office, you know.
770
00:39:26,063 --> 00:39:27,940
- My hemorrhoids are killing me!
771
00:39:28,065 --> 00:39:29,009
- I'm getting a migraine!
772
00:39:29,132 --> 00:39:30,770
- I'm no! going to the emergency!
773
00:39:30,901 --> 00:39:33,541
- Wait a minute...
Pete, someone's calling about a doctor'?!
774
00:39:33,670 --> 00:39:36,014
- No, don't talk to me, Deepu!
775
00:39:36,139 --> 00:39:38,881
So the whole world knows
about my son's heroism, except me.
776
00:39:39,009 --> 00:39:39,953
" Ma!
777
00:39:40,077 --> 00:39:42,216
- You know how many messages
I've sent you?
778
00:39:42,345 --> 00:39:44,621
- Ma, your son is a famous cabbie now.
779
00:39:44,748 --> 00:39:46,523
- Famous cabbie? Hmph!
780
00:39:46,650 --> 00:39:49,290
So I should be proud of you?
- Yeah!
781
00:39:49,419 --> 00:39:51,899
- Gandhi says that,
"The only way to find yourself
782
00:39:52,022 --> 00:39:54,127
"is to lose yourself
in the service of others,"
783
00:39:54,257 --> 00:39:56,567
so we are very proud of you!
784
00:39:56,693 --> 00:39:57,797
- Thank you, Auntie!
785
00:39:57,928 --> 00:39:59,202
(Laughing)
786
00:39:59,329 --> 00:40:02,742
(Bells jingling)
- Pick up that box!
787
00:40:03,600 --> 00:40:05,238
- What is it?
- Just pick it up!
788
00:40:14,544 --> 00:40:15,921
(Sighing)
789
00:40:21,451 --> 00:40:23,021
Papa's stethoscope...
790
00:40:24,454 --> 00:40:26,024
Oh, Ma!
791
00:40:27,057 --> 00:40:28,730
Thank you!
792
00:40:31,061 --> 00:40:32,631
(Sniffling)
793
00:40:37,234 --> 00:40:38,577
- Gandhi would've been proud too!
794
00:40:38,702 --> 00:40:41,148
(Both laughing)
795
00:40:41,271 --> 00:40:45,344
- Thank you for picking us up!
You didn't have to do that.
796
00:40:45,475 --> 00:40:47,819
- Well, I just couldn't trust you
with any other cabbie.
797
00:40:48,778 --> 00:40:52,521
- It's crazy that something so small
is gonna take over my entire life.
798
00:40:52,649 --> 00:40:55,027
- As a new mother,
you have so much to look forward to.
799
00:40:55,152 --> 00:40:58,759
- Yeah, I know. 3:00 a.m. feeds,
dirty diapers, breast pumps...
800
00:40:58,889 --> 00:41:00,266
(Laughing)
801
00:41:01,491 --> 00:41:03,835
(Simone): Shhh, shhh, shhh!
802
00:41:03,960 --> 00:41:05,439
(Lily whispering): He's here!
- Hey, guys!
803
00:41:05,562 --> 00:41:07,872
- Hey!
- Hey!
804
00:41:07,998 --> 00:41:09,102
- Hey, buddy!
- What's going on?
805
00:41:09,232 --> 00:41:10,836
- Can't help you, boss.
806
00:41:11,535 --> 00:41:13,879
- I mean, honestly, it isn't fair.
If you get fired for that,
807
00:41:14,004 --> 00:41:15,847
then Tony should've been fired,
like, 100 times.
808
00:41:15,972 --> 00:41:16,916
- I'm fired?
809
00:41:17,040 --> 00:41:19,384
- Dude, you had a chick
with her legs open in your cab!
810
00:41:19,509 --> 00:41:22,012
- Yeah, he messed up!
- That's only allowed in Amsterdam.
811
00:41:24,181 --> 00:41:25,524
- Your suspension papers.
812
00:41:25,649 --> 00:41:26,923
- What?
813
00:41:27,984 --> 00:41:30,464
Pete!
- Open it.
814
00:41:34,591 --> 00:41:37,231
Who's she'? I'm not hiring
any more of your friends.
815
00:41:37,360 --> 00:41:38,896
- Oh, no. She only rides me.
816
00:41:39,029 --> 00:41:40,906
(Hit on the arm)
With me! With me!
817
00:41:41,031 --> 00:41:42,977
(Pete grunting)
(All cheering and laughing)
818
00:41:43,099 --> 00:41:45,875
- Congratulations, man!
- Yeah!
819
00:41:46,002 --> 00:41:47,811
(Deepak laughing,
all cheering)
820
00:41:47,938 --> 00:41:49,884
Cabbie! Dr. Cabbie!
(Laughing)
821
00:41:50,006 --> 00:41:51,576
- I'm putting you
in the square one!
822
00:41:51,708 --> 00:41:53,016
- Square one?
823
00:41:53,143 --> 00:41:54,986
# Yeah yeah Dr. Cabbie #
824
00:41:55,111 --> 00:41:56,249
- Good morning! Co-op Taxi!
825
00:41:56,379 --> 00:41:58,450
(Dr. Cabbie by Deesha)
826
00:42:01,518 --> 00:42:03,930
- You know why there's such a shortage
of doctors in this country?
827
00:42:04,888 --> 00:42:07,801
(Laughing): 'Cause you guys
are too busy driving cabs!
828
00:42:07,924 --> 00:42:10,097
- When was the last time
you had your prostate checked?
829
00:42:10,227 --> 00:42:11,262
- What?
830
00:42:11,394 --> 00:42:12,737
(Struggling with door handle, banging)
831
00:42:12,862 --> 00:42:13,932
(Woman on phoney Co-op Taxi?
832
00:42:14,064 --> 00:42:15,338
- Everything is normal.
833
00:42:15,465 --> 00:42:19,379
Cholesterol is a little high,
so we have to get you moving.
834
00:42:20,804 --> 00:42:21,942
Come on, Mimi!
835
00:42:22,072 --> 00:42:25,417
Hey! No! No ice cream, Mimi!
No ice cream!
836
00:42:25,542 --> 00:42:27,385
- I've had this pain all morning.
837
00:42:28,578 --> 00:42:32,355
- Sir, I'm going to need you
to place two of these under your tongue.
838
00:42:33,483 --> 00:42:34,894
(Groaning)
839
00:42:35,018 --> 00:42:37,225
- Hey, I have a big meeting in 15 minutes.
840
00:42:37,354 --> 00:42:39,925
- Sir, you're going to have
a heart attack in 15 minutes.
841
00:42:40,056 --> 00:42:41,160
(Tires screeching)
842
00:42:44,494 --> 00:42:46,098
(Camera shutter clicking)
843
00:43:00,877 --> 00:43:02,686
OK!
- Thank you!
844
00:43:04,514 --> 00:43:08,052
- Hi, doc! I got this problem.
I got this really stupid friend
845
00:43:08,184 --> 00:43:10,994
who had this real drunken night
and he hooked up with this...
846
00:43:11,121 --> 00:43:13,965
I guess it was a girl, but kinda like a guy.
She had man hands.
847
00:43:14,090 --> 00:43:16,331
All of a sudden,
now, he thinks he has an STD.
848
00:43:16,459 --> 00:43:18,336
He should've known because
the minute she opened her legs,
849
00:43:18,461 --> 00:43:19,838
it made your eyes water,
I mean, his eyes water.
850
00:43:19,963 --> 00:43:22,603
- Calm down, sir.
Just drop your pants.
851
00:43:24,367 --> 00:43:25,903
Come on! Let's take a look.
852
00:43:26,036 --> 00:43:27,310
- Be gentle, all right?
853
00:43:27,437 --> 00:43:30,316
I haven't "manscaped"
since it happened, so get ready!
854
00:43:30,440 --> 00:43:31,942
(Laughing): Get those weed whackers out!
855
00:43:32,075 --> 00:43:33,952
You gotta get rid of the pain.
856
00:43:34,644 --> 00:43:36,851
If you wanna leave the swelling,
I'm OK with that.
857
00:43:36,980 --> 00:43:40,655
I don't need it, but you know what I mean?
Every little bit helps, am I right?
858
00:43:40,784 --> 00:43:42,457
This guy knows what I'm talking about!
859
00:43:42,585 --> 00:43:43,757
(Laughing, zipper lowering)
860
00:43:43,887 --> 00:43:46,060
(Horn honking, tires screeching)
861
00:43:47,624 --> 00:43:49,194
- Pain?
- No.
862
00:43:50,226 --> 00:43:51,762
' Yes!
(Sighing)
863
00:43:51,895 --> 00:43:53,875
(Traditional Indian music
on car stereo)
864
00:43:53,997 --> 00:43:55,305
- You call this music, yo?
865
00:43:55,432 --> 00:43:56,877
- This is Indian music, sir.
866
00:43:57,000 --> 00:44:00,447
- That ain't no music.
Check it! Watch this!
867
00:44:01,438 --> 00:44:04,078
(Beatboxing)
- OK!
868
00:44:05,809 --> 00:44:07,948
(Groaning)
869
00:44:08,078 --> 00:44:09,056
- Are you OK, sir?
870
00:44:09,446 --> 00:44:12,154
- What's going on?
- His appendix is inflamed.
871
00:44:12,282 --> 00:44:14,228
He'll be fine.
We have to rush him to emergency.
872
00:44:15,185 --> 00:44:17,187
(Tires screeching)
873
00:44:18,154 --> 00:44:20,532
- How do you tell the difference
between an oral thermometer
874
00:44:20,657 --> 00:44:21,965
and a rectal thermometer?
875
00:44:22,092 --> 00:44:23,264
- The taste!
876
00:44:25,428 --> 00:44:26,429
(Grunting)
877
00:44:33,036 --> 00:44:36,142
(Pete): This is turning into
a real pain in the ass.
878
00:44:36,272 --> 00:44:37,615
(Sighing)
879
00:44:39,509 --> 00:44:41,250
- All stocked up, boss?
880
00:44:41,378 --> 00:44:44,848
- Your pimp just booked
a bunch of new appointments.
881
00:44:44,981 --> 00:44:48,326
And somebody called
for a refill on a prescription.
882
00:44:49,185 --> 00:44:51,688
So what's next? Surgery?
883
00:44:51,821 --> 00:44:54,392
- I know I'm in deep, Pete.
- Yes, you are.
884
00:44:54,524 --> 00:44:58,267
- But at least I'm making a difference!
- Yeah! We all are.
885
00:44:58,395 --> 00:45:00,306
(Groaning)
886
00:45:01,698 --> 00:45:05,612
Hold my son I was dying, last night.
- No, Pete! No!
887
00:45:06,169 --> 00:45:10,413
- I know! I'm living now.
888
00:45:12,142 --> 00:45:14,952
- I believe the expression is,
"I'm living for the moment."
889
00:45:15,078 --> 00:45:19,049
(Chuckling): Oh, yeah! Well...
890
00:45:20,984 --> 00:45:24,261
OK...
- Come on. Let's go.
891
00:45:27,857 --> 00:45:31,703
What happened?
- You got that puppy-dog look today.
892
00:45:32,595 --> 00:45:34,438
(Laughing): No!
- Natalie, right?
893
00:45:36,232 --> 00:45:37,870
- Is it that obvious?
894
00:45:39,602 --> 00:45:41,081
- The expression is,
895
00:45:42,872 --> 00:45:45,443
"There's no cure for love."
896
00:45:46,543 --> 00:45:48,921
You gotta grab it by the balls
897
00:45:49,045 --> 00:45:51,025
and take I! for a ride!
898
00:45:57,454 --> 00:45:58,455
- Hey, cabbie!
899
00:46:00,857 --> 00:46:01,801
(Gasping)
900
00:46:01,925 --> 00:46:03,734
You stalking that blonde?
- I'm busy!
901
00:46:03,860 --> 00:46:06,340
(Knocking on window)
Go away, kid!
902
00:46:06,463 --> 00:46:08,033
- Pervert!
903
00:46:09,499 --> 00:46:11,172
- What's your problem, huh?
- You're such a loser!
904
00:46:11,301 --> 00:46:13,212
She's too hot for you anyway!
- Come back here!
905
00:46:13,336 --> 00:46:14,337
- Forget about it!
906
00:46:15,705 --> 00:46:18,777
(Baby crying)
(Keypad beeping)
907
00:46:23,813 --> 00:46:25,417
(Cell ringing)
- Hello?
908
00:46:25,548 --> 00:46:26,549
- Hey!
909
00:46:26,983 --> 00:46:27,984
- Natalie!
910
00:46:29,085 --> 00:46:31,361
Hi! How are you?
911
00:46:31,488 --> 00:46:33,934
- Oh, I'm fine.
You know,just tired.
912
00:46:34,991 --> 00:46:35,935
How are you doing?
913
00:46:36,059 --> 00:46:39,597
- Oh, I'm so busy! I'm helping out
at my uncle's restaurant.
914
00:46:39,729 --> 00:46:40,764
' Hmm!
915
00:46:41,831 --> 00:46:45,210
Yeah, you should come by
and see the baby sometime.
916
00:46:45,335 --> 00:46:48,043
- Uh, I would love to!
917
00:46:48,171 --> 00:46:49,980
How's tomorrow?
918
00:46:51,341 --> 00:46:52,376
- OK!
919
00:46:52,642 --> 00:46:54,178
- OK! See you soon!
920
00:46:58,181 --> 00:46:59,751
Yes!
(Laughing)
921
00:47:01,518 --> 00:47:04,124
(Laughing)
922
00:47:04,254 --> 00:47:06,734
(Horn honking)
(Man): Idiot! Get out of the street!
923
00:47:06,856 --> 00:47:10,235
# AH I need is you #
924
00:47:10,360 --> 00:47:13,569
# AH I need is you #
925
00:47:13,696 --> 00:47:17,405
# AH I need is you #
926
00:47:17,534 --> 00:47:20,572
it And I'm so glad
I've found you $1
927
00:47:21,371 --> 00:47:24,375
it And I'm so glad
I've found you $1
928
00:47:27,010 --> 00:47:29,718
it I never thought I'd ever find
a love like this $1
929
00:47:31,047 --> 00:47:33,459
it I never thought I'd find
someone like you $1
930
00:47:34,651 --> 00:47:37,996
it I thought I'd go through life
being so lonely $1
931
00:47:38,688 --> 00:47:40,690
it I never thought
Pd need it like I do $1
932
00:47:41,591 --> 00:47:45,767
# Ooh I wanna be your girl oh #
933
00:47:46,563 --> 00:47:48,668
# I've been searching around the world #
934
00:47:48,798 --> 00:47:51,540
# And all I need is you #
935
00:47:52,635 --> 00:47:55,616
# AH I need is you ooh #
936
00:47:57,240 --> 00:47:59,777
(Vijay): Rani, what is he doing?
- He thinks it's a girl!
937
00:47:59,909 --> 00:48:01,582
(Nellie): He's so cute!
(Gasping)
938
00:48:01,711 --> 00:48:02,655
'Hi!
939
00:48:02,779 --> 00:48:04,087
(Nellie and Rani): Hi!
940
00:48:07,750 --> 00:48:10,094
- My Deepu's in love.
- With a mop.
941
00:48:10,219 --> 00:48:13,598
- Love is meant to be enjoyed,
not understood.
942
00:48:15,024 --> 00:48:16,628
- You're so wise.
943
00:48:16,759 --> 00:48:18,739
(Laughing): Yeah!
944
00:48:20,029 --> 00:48:22,031
- Good, good, good, good!
945
00:48:22,165 --> 00:48:23,542
(Chuckling)
946
00:48:23,666 --> 00:48:25,339
Good boy!
947
00:48:27,170 --> 00:48:29,810
(Chuckling): This was my father's.
948
00:48:29,939 --> 00:48:33,045
My heartbeat was the first one
he heard from it.
949
00:48:33,176 --> 00:48:35,019
See? Hey!
950
00:48:37,280 --> 00:48:39,157
He's beautiful!
- Thank you!
951
00:48:39,282 --> 00:48:41,387
- You have your mother's eyes!
952
00:48:41,517 --> 00:48:42,928
Yeah, you do!
953
00:48:43,553 --> 00:48:45,624
High five!
Give me a high five!
954
00:48:47,824 --> 00:48:51,067
- You must be hungry.
I cooked dinner.
955
00:48:51,194 --> 00:48:53,003
- I'm starving! Let's eat.
956
00:48:53,129 --> 00:48:55,769
(Anything For Your Love
by Mayou
957
00:48:55,898 --> 00:48:59,471
# Ooh oh yeah #
958
00:49:04,140 --> 00:49:05,642
- You like steak, right?
959
00:49:06,843 --> 00:49:07,787
(Chuckling): Love it!
960
00:49:07,910 --> 00:49:09,184
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
961
00:49:09,312 --> 00:49:10,814
# I would do anything for your love... #
962
00:49:10,947 --> 00:49:13,018
- It was between this and lobster.
963
00:49:16,953 --> 00:49:21,368
- Mmm! Holy cow!
That is... is good!
964
00:49:21,491 --> 00:49:22,902
Thank you!
965
00:49:24,527 --> 00:49:27,201
(Woman vocalizing)
966
00:49:27,330 --> 00:49:30,436
(Vomiting and groaning)
967
00:49:30,566 --> 00:49:33,672
I'm sorry!
- Oh, it's OK! Shhh!
968
00:49:33,803 --> 00:49:36,511
# I'll do anything for your love #
969
00:49:47,316 --> 00:49:48,659
(Make U Want Me
by Selena Dhillon)
970
00:49:48,785 --> 00:49:51,163
# Oh are you ready #
971
00:49:51,287 --> 00:49:54,427
(Tony): I am ready!
(Laughing)
972
00:49:56,292 --> 00:49:57,737
# Can you feel me #
973
00:49:57,860 --> 00:49:59,362
(Tony grunting in distance)
974
00:49:59,495 --> 00:50:01,566
- I just wanna eat it!
- Come here, darling!
975
00:50:01,698 --> 00:50:04,406
- You want me to come? You want me to come?
OK, I'm coming!
976
00:50:04,534 --> 00:50:06,207
It Let me show you
Don't be shy $1
977
00:50:06,335 --> 00:50:08,747
(Tony grunting,
Simone laughing)
978
00:50:08,871 --> 00:50:10,908
# What I love and what I like #
979
00:50:11,040 --> 00:50:12,678
(Squawking)
980
00:50:12,809 --> 00:50:14,254
# I'm really feeling you and I #
981
00:50:14,377 --> 00:50:15,754
(Laughing): Yeah! Oh!
982
00:50:16,713 --> 00:50:20,160
It Make you want me
Boy make you want me $1
983
00:50:20,283 --> 00:50:23,093
(Growling, laughing)
984
00:50:23,219 --> 00:50:24,220
Wait!
- What?
985
00:50:24,353 --> 00:50:27,425
- On! Ah! Ah! Ah!
- Uh-huh!
986
00:50:27,557 --> 00:50:30,595
# Gonna spin and you won't know
which way to go... #
987
00:50:30,727 --> 00:50:32,331
- Oh! Hey! Yeah!
- Let's do this!
988
00:50:32,895 --> 00:50:34,397
- Mimi!
989
00:50:35,798 --> 00:50:37,300
(Speaking Italian)
990
00:50:38,134 --> 00:50:39,613
- Going to bed!
991
00:50:39,736 --> 00:50:41,215
It Let me show you
Don't be shy $1
992
00:50:41,337 --> 00:50:43,146
(Both laughing)
993
00:50:44,173 --> 00:50:45,652
# What I love and what I like #
994
00:50:46,242 --> 00:50:50,657
- How many times I tell you,
no doing sex here in my house!
995
00:50:51,414 --> 00:50:52,916
- I'm not doing sex in your house.
996
00:50:53,049 --> 00:50:55,586
- Hey! Who's that?
997
00:50:55,718 --> 00:50:59,393
- Where?
- Where! The signer... The signer...
998
00:50:59,522 --> 00:51:01,092
(Bruno and Tony grunting)
999
00:51:01,924 --> 00:51:03,369
What do you have in your mouth?
1000
00:51:04,093 --> 00:51:05,071
- Bubble gum.
1001
00:51:05,194 --> 00:51:06,901
- Bubble gum? Show me!
1002
00:51:11,768 --> 00:51:14,112
(Both grunting)
1003
00:51:19,909 --> 00:51:22,583
# Boy make you want me #
1004
00:51:22,912 --> 00:51:24,914
(Car horns honking)
1005
00:51:26,382 --> 00:51:28,055
(Cell buzzing)
1006
00:51:28,184 --> 00:51:29,527
(Grunting)
1007
00:51:30,753 --> 00:51:31,754
(Sighing)
1008
00:51:31,888 --> 00:51:34,425
- What time is it?
(Woman groaning)
1009
00:51:34,557 --> 00:51:37,231
- What's up, Love Muffin?
- Yeah?
1010
00:51:37,360 --> 00:51:40,000
(Andrew): Colin, I told you
to clean up this baby mess!
1011
00:51:40,129 --> 00:51:43,133
- The press is on us like diaper rash!
Get on it now!
1012
00:51:43,266 --> 00:51:45,246
- Yeah, OK.
No, I heard you, Dad.
1013
00:51:45,368 --> 00:51:46,779
Yeah, I'll deal with it.
- New!!!
1014
00:51:46,903 --> 00:51:49,076
- I said I'll deal with it. OK, bye!
1015
00:51:49,472 --> 00:51:51,145
- Hey, what's going on?
(Sigh)
1016
00:51:52,475 --> 00:51:55,854
- Cancel my massage.
And get me a nice gift for a newborn,
1017
00:51:55,978 --> 00:51:57,787
and the newspaper,
and some breakfast,
1018
00:51:57,914 --> 00:52:00,019
and a scotch,
and a cup of coffee.
1019
00:52:00,149 --> 00:52:01,287
Stupid baby!
1020
00:52:01,417 --> 00:52:04,591
- Thank you, doctor.
- Of course!
1021
00:52:15,298 --> 00:52:20,247
- So, whatever happened
between you and him?
1022
00:52:21,304 --> 00:52:23,875
- Him who?
- The baby's father.
1023
00:52:25,007 --> 00:52:26,008
- Colin.
- Mm-hmm.
1024
00:52:26,142 --> 00:52:27,746
(Chuckling): Well...
1025
00:52:29,145 --> 00:52:31,056
I was a young lawyer,
1026
00:52:31,180 --> 00:52:34,161
and I thought he had everything:
1027
00:52:34,984 --> 00:52:38,056
career, looks, charm.
1028
00:52:39,755 --> 00:52:41,962
He asked me to look over his briefs,
1029
00:52:42,091 --> 00:52:44,503
and I thought he meant legal papers.
1030
00:52:46,629 --> 00:52:50,873
A week later, he stopped calling me Pumpkin,
and then no more calls.
1031
00:52:51,000 --> 00:52:52,809
- What happened when you told him
you were pregnant?
1032
00:52:52,935 --> 00:52:56,144
- He asked me whose it was,
and had me kicked out of the firm.
1033
00:52:56,272 --> 00:52:59,151
Thanks to him,
I serve coffee for a living now.
1034
00:52:59,275 --> 00:53:00,549
(Sighing)
1035
00:53:00,676 --> 00:53:01,746
(Doorbell buzzing)
1036
00:53:01,878 --> 00:53:05,087
Mmm! I have no idea who it is.
One second.
1037
00:53:06,282 --> 00:53:08,125
(Baby coming)
1038
00:53:10,820 --> 00:53:12,857
- Daddy's home!
- What are you doing here?
1039
00:53:12,989 --> 00:53:14,195
- I come bearing gifts.
1040
00:53:14,323 --> 00:53:17,270
Something for Mommy,
something for little Colin Jr.
1041
00:53:17,393 --> 00:53:18,895
Uh, where is he?
Is he inside?
1042
00:53:19,495 --> 00:53:20,439
Little Colin Jr.!
1043
00:53:20,563 --> 00:53:21,667
- His name is Ganesh!
1044
00:53:21,797 --> 00:53:24,175
- G-g-gesundheit!
Sorry. What did you say?
1045
00:53:24,300 --> 00:53:25,745
- I'm serious.
- Ganesh? Really?
1046
00:53:25,868 --> 00:53:28,178
Is that a vindaloo dish
at a cheap Indian takeout?
1047
00:53:28,304 --> 00:53:29,374
Here,these are for you.
1048
00:53:29,505 --> 00:53:32,042
- It means "god of all things auspicious,
remover of obstacles."
1049
00:53:32,174 --> 00:53:35,246
- Oh... Oh hey, hi! We didn't order a cab.
How did you get in here?
1050
00:53:35,378 --> 00:53:36,356
- Don't be a jerk!
1051
00:53:36,479 --> 00:53:39,426
This is the man who delivered my baby.
This is Deepak.
1052
00:53:39,548 --> 00:53:41,289
- Thank you very much!
- It's fine!
1053
00:53:41,417 --> 00:53:44,091
- Oh! Hold these for a second,
'cause I have something for you.
1054
00:53:44,220 --> 00:53:46,700
I wanted to thank you.
It's your delivery fee.
1055
00:53:46,822 --> 00:53:47,800
(All shouting, indistinct)
1056
00:53:47,924 --> 00:53:50,131
- Please don't do that!
- I gotta go.
1057
00:53:50,259 --> 00:53:52,830
- Thank you very, very much!
- Get the hell out of my house!
1058
00:53:53,562 --> 00:53:57,305
- OK. Look, I don't know
what's going on with you two,
1059
00:53:57,433 --> 00:54:01,245
but the cabbie can drive you to the showroom,
but he can't buy you the Dior handbag.
1060
00:54:01,837 --> 00:54:06,081
The good things in life need the good money,
and you know that. Think about it.
1061
00:54:06,208 --> 00:54:08,279
(Baby crying)
1062
00:54:10,179 --> 00:54:14,491
(On phoney Dr. Cabbie,
it's Edith, uh, Mrs. Robinson.
1063
00:54:14,617 --> 00:54:16,961
Yeah, I think somethings wrong.
1064
00:54:18,054 --> 00:54:20,091
(Camera beeping, shutter clicking)
1065
00:54:20,222 --> 00:54:21,758
- It's good to see you again,
Mrs. Robinson.
1066
00:54:21,891 --> 00:54:25,065
- Thank you, doctor.
- OK! Let's take a look.
1067
00:54:31,367 --> 00:54:34,405
Mrs. Robinson, you need to see
an ophthalmologist right away.
1068
00:54:34,537 --> 00:54:38,007
- My health plan only allows that
once a year. It'll have to wait.
1069
00:54:38,140 --> 00:54:40,620
- How about we end our date
with a drive to the hospital?
1070
00:54:40,743 --> 00:54:42,780
Now, Mrs. Robinson,
1071
00:54:42,912 --> 00:54:45,916
blood pressure medication,
Ramipril, once a day.
1072
00:54:46,048 --> 00:54:48,426
- Oh, son, you're taking a huge risk.
1073
00:54:50,152 --> 00:54:51,563
- Shall we?
1074
00:54:56,258 --> 00:54:57,965
- They're so big!
1075
00:54:58,094 --> 00:54:59,698
(Laughing): I know!
1076
00:54:59,829 --> 00:55:01,570
You can have them too!
1077
00:55:04,000 --> 00:55:06,378
- Socks!
- Yeah, socks! No one has to know!
1078
00:55:06,502 --> 00:55:07,947
(Laughing): All right!
1079
00:55:08,070 --> 00:55:09,014
- Underneath, so like...
1080
00:55:09,138 --> 00:55:11,914
- Like that?
- Oh, yes! So it's like boobies!
1081
00:55:12,041 --> 00:55:13,486
All right!
- The tea, is it hot?
1082
00:55:13,609 --> 00:55:15,111
- Put this over there! Come on!
- OK!
1083
00:55:15,244 --> 00:55:16,552
- They're gonna be here soon, guys!
1084
00:55:16,679 --> 00:55:18,556
- Look at these gulab jamun.
They're completely cold!
1085
00:55:18,681 --> 00:55:20,217
- Go and microwave them, then!
1086
00:55:20,349 --> 00:55:22,056
- Why do it now?
- Please!
1087
00:55:22,952 --> 00:55:24,898
(Rani): OK, I think it looks...
(Vijay): Come on, Rani,
1088
00:55:25,021 --> 00:55:26,864
put this over there! Yeah!
- Hello, family!
1089
00:55:26,989 --> 00:55:27,933
- They're here!
(Nellie): on!
1090
00:55:28,057 --> 00:55:31,061
- Ah, Natalie!
Welcome to our home!
1091
00:55:31,193 --> 00:55:34,140
(Rani): Yeah!
- Natalie, can I have the baby?
1092
00:55:34,263 --> 00:55:38,439
- Oh, our little, white Ganesh!
- My little Ganesh! Just look at him!
1093
00:55:38,567 --> 00:55:40,478
- Come, come!
- Look at him!
1094
00:55:40,603 --> 00:55:43,049
(Rani): That's what you said,
"Look at him!"
1095
00:55:43,172 --> 00:55:44,242
- Hi, guys!
1096
00:55:44,373 --> 00:55:46,080
- Open your eyes, baby!
1097
00:55:46,809 --> 00:55:49,050
(Nellie): He's a darling!
1098
00:55:49,178 --> 00:55:50,213
- Little baby nose!
1099
00:55:50,346 --> 00:55:51,416
(All three laughing)
1100
00:55:52,048 --> 00:55:54,995
- His eyes are just like Deepu's! Look!
1101
00:55:55,117 --> 00:55:56,892
(Vijay): How did that happen?
- That's because
1102
00:55:57,019 --> 00:56:00,193
we're all connected by an akashic field.
- Of course!
1103
00:56:00,322 --> 00:56:02,563
- You know, Deepu's
never had a girlfriend before.
1104
00:56:02,691 --> 00:56:04,398
(Coughing)
(Vijay): Oh, nice boy!
1105
00:56:04,527 --> 00:56:06,336
- You're so lucky!
1106
00:56:06,462 --> 00:56:11,002
I had to kiss a lot of frogs
before I found my maharaja!
1107
00:56:12,068 --> 00:56:14,241
" Me!
(Laughing)
1108
00:56:14,370 --> 00:56:17,214
- Where, um... where'd you find him?
1109
00:56:17,973 --> 00:56:21,216
(Rani): Well--
- Oh! Try the gulab jamun!
1110
00:56:21,343 --> 00:56:22,617
- Brown balls?
(Rani): Yeah!
1111
00:56:22,745 --> 00:56:23,689
- They're very good.
1112
00:56:23,813 --> 00:56:25,918
- Trust me, once you go brown,
you'll never frown.
1113
00:56:26,048 --> 00:56:27,220
(Vijay): So true.
(Rani): Promise!
1114
00:56:27,349 --> 00:56:28,555
'Huh?
1115
00:56:28,684 --> 00:56:31,062
(Rani): Do it, Deepu! Do it!
- Huh'?
1116
00:56:31,187 --> 00:56:32,291
- Yeah, OK!
1117
00:56:32,421 --> 00:56:34,128
(Laughing)
1118
00:56:34,256 --> 00:56:37,760
- Uh, Mrs. Chopra, you must be so proud
1119
00:56:37,893 --> 00:56:40,874
to have such a caring,
compassionate son.
1120
00:56:40,996 --> 00:56:44,808
- So, you mean I don't have to worry
about Deepu's marriage anymore?
1121
00:56:44,934 --> 00:56:46,936
- Ma!
(Whispering): Joking!
1122
00:56:47,069 --> 00:56:48,605
(Rani): You're so lucky!
1123
00:56:48,737 --> 00:56:50,739
- I always told the studmuffin,
1124
00:56:50,873 --> 00:56:53,149
"Let a nice girl
dance into your heart...
1125
00:56:53,275 --> 00:56:55,721
(Rani and Vijay laughing):
"Not the back of your cab."
1126
00:56:55,845 --> 00:56:58,086
(Laughing)
- Funny!
1127
00:57:00,716 --> 00:57:02,525
(Laughing): He's so funny!
1128
00:57:03,119 --> 00:57:05,065
- Did, uh... did Rani
dance her way into your heart?
1129
00:57:05,187 --> 00:57:06,461
- Uh...
1130
00:57:08,324 --> 00:57:10,304
(Speaking Hindi)
1131
00:57:10,426 --> 00:57:11,996
- Yes, Uncle, tell us!
1132
00:57:12,128 --> 00:57:13,766
- OK...
- Come on!
1133
00:57:13,896 --> 00:57:15,807
(Chuckling): It was so long ago!
1134
00:57:15,931 --> 00:57:18,969
- Tell them, honey! Tell them!
1135
00:57:19,101 --> 00:57:20,910
- It was the 90s.
- Yeah!
1136
00:57:21,036 --> 00:57:22,743
(Vijay): I'd been here 3 years.
1137
00:57:23,272 --> 00:57:27,448
The government was sending me back to India
on urgent business.
1138
00:57:27,576 --> 00:57:28,782
(Both exclaiming)
1139
00:57:28,911 --> 00:57:30,754
But before I left,
1140
00:57:30,880 --> 00:57:33,326
there was one thing
I simply had to do:
1141
00:57:34,416 --> 00:57:37,989
watch Renee Rogers dance
at my favourite venue
1142
00:57:38,120 --> 00:57:39,963
for the performing arts.
(Soft music)
1143
00:57:40,089 --> 00:57:41,033
(Sighing)
1144
00:57:41,157 --> 00:57:42,602
- You?
- I know!
1145
00:57:42,725 --> 00:57:45,797
- I bought a front-row orchestra seat.
1146
00:57:45,928 --> 00:57:47,874
(Rani and Vijay laughing)
1147
00:57:47,997 --> 00:57:49,135
- Big money!
1148
00:57:49,265 --> 00:57:52,712
(Vijay): That night, Rani was Eve,
1149
00:57:52,835 --> 00:57:54,712
and the stage was her garden.
1150
00:57:54,837 --> 00:57:57,477
Remy Yeah! Like magic!
1151
00:57:57,606 --> 00:58:01,053
- Such poise, such artistry...
1152
00:58:01,177 --> 00:58:05,148
(Rani): Oh, honey! He's so sweet!
1153
00:58:05,281 --> 00:58:09,752
- The finer details of her costume
filled my eyes with wonder.
1154
00:58:10,319 --> 00:58:11,559
- Silky!
1155
00:58:12,454 --> 00:58:15,958
(Vijay): I was so moved...
(Rani laughing)
1156
00:58:16,091 --> 00:58:20,164
...I was ready to... pop... the question.
1157
00:58:20,296 --> 00:58:21,240
- So romantic!
1158
00:58:21,363 --> 00:58:22,740
- Marry me, babe!
1159
00:58:22,865 --> 00:58:25,175
(Both grunting)
1160
00:58:26,101 --> 00:58:29,776
Please! Make me
the happiest man alive, darling!
1161
00:58:30,306 --> 00:58:31,478
Ah!
1162
00:58:31,607 --> 00:58:33,177
- Looks like I just did!
(Fireworks)
1163
00:58:33,309 --> 00:58:36,085
- Hmm!
- That's so romantic!
1164
00:58:36,212 --> 00:58:37,350
(Deepak): That's so sweet!
1165
00:58:37,479 --> 00:58:42,155
- You know, Viju, I always say,
"When in Rome, do the Romans!"
1166
00:58:42,284 --> 00:58:43,262
- I did!
1167
00:58:43,385 --> 00:58:45,490
(Rani and Nellie laughing)
1168
00:58:52,294 --> 00:58:53,671
(Door opening)
1169
00:58:53,796 --> 00:58:55,366
(Door creaking)
1170
00:58:59,068 --> 00:59:00,445
" Hmm?
1171
00:59:00,569 --> 00:59:03,345
(Mimi imitating
cat meowing and purring)
1172
00:59:03,472 --> 00:59:05,247
(Mimi giggling)
1173
00:59:09,912 --> 00:59:11,448
# Don't don't don't you want me... #
1174
00:59:11,580 --> 00:59:12,854
- I hope you're ready, doctor!
1175
00:59:13,582 --> 00:59:15,152
(Mimi imitating cat meowing,
Deepak gasping)
1176
00:59:15,751 --> 00:59:17,560
Yeah! Come on!
1177
00:59:17,686 --> 00:59:20,189
- Mimi, no! No, Mimi!
(Whispering): Sexy doctor!
1178
00:59:20,322 --> 00:59:21,801
# Don't you want me #
1179
00:59:23,359 --> 00:59:25,270
it Let me show you
Don't be shy $1
1180
00:59:25,394 --> 00:59:27,704
(Mimi purring,
Deepak grunting)
1181
00:59:27,830 --> 00:59:29,537
# What I love and what I like #
1182
00:59:29,665 --> 00:59:31,110
- No, Mimi! Please! Please!
1183
00:59:31,233 --> 00:59:33,474
# I'm really feeling you tonight #
1184
00:59:33,602 --> 00:59:36,515
Tony, wake up!
(Giggling): Mmm!
1185
00:59:37,439 --> 00:59:38,577
# Boy make you want me #
1186
00:59:38,707 --> 00:59:40,118
- Hey!
1187
00:59:40,242 --> 00:59:42,722
It Let me show you
Don't be shy $1
1188
00:59:42,845 --> 00:59:44,791
# Don't be shy #
1189
00:59:45,447 --> 00:59:46,619
- Please! Tony!
1190
00:59:46,749 --> 00:59:48,285
(Music stops)
1191
00:59:48,417 --> 00:59:50,158
' Deepak!
" No!
1192
00:59:50,286 --> 00:59:52,391
(Deepak and Tony):
Mimi! Mimi!
1193
00:59:52,521 --> 00:59:53,727
(All screaming)
1194
00:59:54,290 --> 00:59:55,234
(Gasping)
1195
00:59:55,357 --> 00:59:57,428
(All screaming, Mimi crying)
1196
00:59:57,559 --> 00:59:59,664
- Natalie, Natalie, look,
I've stopped drinking.
1197
00:59:59,795 --> 01:00:01,331
I'm... I'm cleaning up my act.
1198
01:00:01,463 --> 01:00:06,071
Look, I know I've been an ass,
and I do not expect you to forgive me, OK?
1199
01:00:06,935 --> 01:00:08,073
Hear me out!
Hear me out!
1200
01:00:08,203 --> 01:00:12,083
Look, look, I'll...
I'll understand if you say no.
1201
01:00:14,610 --> 01:00:16,920
(Sighing)
Can I just hold my son?
1202
01:00:17,980 --> 01:00:20,187
- Oh! Look at that smile!
1203
01:00:20,316 --> 01:00:23,024
- Oh! That's the most
beautiful face I've ever seen.
1204
01:00:23,152 --> 01:00:25,655
' Hmm!
(Both laughing)
1205
01:00:25,788 --> 01:00:28,325
- We do good work!
- Hmm!
1206
01:00:28,457 --> 01:00:30,664
(Camera shutter clicking)
1207
01:00:32,294 --> 01:00:34,205
- Whoa! Broke a window!
1208
01:00:34,330 --> 01:00:35,468
(Laughing)
1209
01:00:36,765 --> 01:00:38,540
- You've done a very good job.
1210
01:00:38,667 --> 01:00:41,477
Our backers are very pleased!
- Ah...
1211
01:00:41,603 --> 01:00:45,949
- The media is loving our family-man spin.
- Yeah, but it's killing my mojo.
1212
01:00:46,075 --> 01:00:48,521
(Woman): Excuses, excuses!
1213
01:00:48,644 --> 01:00:51,181
- There's 3 things you need
to win an election:
1214
01:00:51,313 --> 01:00:54,851
money, media and minorities.
1215
01:00:54,983 --> 01:00:55,984
Come on, Bonnie!
1216
01:00:56,118 --> 01:00:57,791
(That's Amore
by Rocco Granata)
1217
01:00:57,920 --> 01:00:59,456
# In Napoli... #
1218
01:01:01,490 --> 01:01:03,367
- So, welcome to my home!
1219
01:01:03,492 --> 01:01:07,099
Well, upstairs... I live upstairs.
- Oh, OK!
1220
01:01:08,097 --> 01:01:10,941
# Here's what they say #
1221
01:01:11,066 --> 01:01:13,273
(Lively music)
1222
01:01:16,004 --> 01:01:20,475
it When the Moon hits your eye
like a big pizza pie $1
1223
01:01:20,609 --> 01:01:22,555
# That's amore #
1224
01:01:24,380 --> 01:01:29,489
it When the world seems to shine
like you've had too much wine $1
1225
01:01:29,618 --> 01:01:30,722
# That's amore #
1226
01:01:33,555 --> 01:01:35,057
# Bells will ring... #
1227
01:01:35,190 --> 01:01:37,602
- Antipasto.
- Thank you!
1228
01:01:38,394 --> 01:01:40,271
(Speaking Italian)
1229
01:01:40,396 --> 01:01:41,534
- Thank you!
1230
01:01:41,663 --> 01:01:42,903
- No octopussy?
1231
01:01:43,031 --> 01:01:46,501
- No... no octopussy today, Mimi.
- Octopussy?
1232
01:01:46,635 --> 01:01:49,582
- It's Mimi's special.
(Giggling): Mmm!
1233
01:01:49,705 --> 01:01:52,549
- Thank you!
- You're welcome!
1234
01:01:53,675 --> 01:01:55,211
Hmph!
1235
01:01:55,344 --> 01:01:56,982
- Please!
1236
01:01:57,913 --> 01:01:59,290
Oh! So, uh...
1237
01:01:59,415 --> 01:02:04,626
my family is having this really small
birthday party for me next week, and...
1238
01:02:04,920 --> 01:02:09,096
and we would just love for you to be there.
- Of course! I'd love that.
1239
01:02:10,492 --> 01:02:12,233
So, what can I get for the birthday boy?
1240
01:02:12,361 --> 01:02:15,934
- Well, a residency in a hospital
would be great.
1241
01:02:16,064 --> 01:02:18,704
(Chuckling)
- How's it going on that front?
1242
01:02:18,834 --> 01:02:22,543
- Good! You know, actually,
I've applied to some US schools and...
1243
01:02:22,671 --> 01:02:26,778
Um, you know,
it's such a long shot and--
1244
01:02:26,909 --> 01:02:30,083
- No, that's great! Really!
- Yeah!
1245
01:02:30,212 --> 01:02:33,716
And I might not even go by the end.
- You gotta do what you gotta do, right?
1246
01:02:34,183 --> 01:02:35,321
- Yeah!
1247
01:02:36,852 --> 01:02:37,922
(Natalie clearing her throat)
1248
01:02:45,294 --> 01:02:46,898
Hi, Tony!
1249
01:03:01,610 --> 01:03:02,816
- I'm sorry, boss!
1250
01:03:15,390 --> 01:03:17,563
(Tires screeching)
1251
01:03:24,166 --> 01:03:26,646
- Hey! Miss?
1252
01:03:30,372 --> 01:03:31,442
Look, miss, we've...
1253
01:03:31,573 --> 01:03:33,052
Look, we've all had our bad days.
1254
01:03:33,175 --> 01:03:36,179
Miss?
- Leave me alone! Go away!
1255
01:03:37,446 --> 01:03:39,858
- This bridge...
(Sighing)
1256
01:03:41,250 --> 01:03:43,025
It's not high enough to kill anyone.
1257
01:03:44,786 --> 01:03:46,561
You're just gonna wake up
in the hospital,
1258
01:03:46,688 --> 01:03:50,727
broken bones, face mangled
beyond recognition.
1259
01:03:50,859 --> 01:03:52,861
- Don't get close, or I'll jump!
1260
01:03:52,995 --> 01:03:55,305
(Crying)
1261
01:03:55,430 --> 01:03:57,569
- I can give you a ride
to a taller bridge, huh?
1262
01:03:57,699 --> 01:04:00,441
My... my cab is right there.
1263
01:04:01,470 --> 01:04:03,040
- Go away!
1264
01:04:03,171 --> 01:04:04,809
- I'm going.
1265
01:04:04,940 --> 01:04:06,817
(Crying)
1266
01:04:13,315 --> 01:04:15,158
- I'm in love.
1267
01:04:19,454 --> 01:04:21,058
And I'm pregnant.
1268
01:04:23,191 --> 01:04:27,162
My boyfriend... is a white guy.
1269
01:04:29,231 --> 01:04:31,006
If my family finds out--
1270
01:04:31,133 --> 01:04:32,203
Stay right where you are!
1271
01:04:37,239 --> 01:04:38,309
- I'm in love too.
1272
01:04:39,841 --> 01:04:41,821
And she's a white girl.
1273
01:04:42,611 --> 01:04:45,353
And I'm not sure
she sees a future with me.
1274
01:04:46,748 --> 01:04:48,352
I get it.
1275
01:04:48,483 --> 01:04:51,589
(Sniffling)
- What are you doing about it?
1276
01:04:52,254 --> 01:04:53,927
- I'm trying to build bridges...
1277
01:04:55,991 --> 01:04:56,969
not jump off them.
1278
01:04:58,060 --> 01:04:59,562
- What's her name?
1279
01:04:59,695 --> 01:05:01,106
- Natalie.
1280
01:05:02,431 --> 01:05:03,569
- Boring!
1281
01:05:03,699 --> 01:05:05,372
- OK!
1282
01:05:06,768 --> 01:05:08,372
What's yours?
1283
01:05:09,705 --> 01:05:11,707
- Zarah.
1284
01:05:11,840 --> 01:05:13,148
- I'm Deepak.
1285
01:05:13,942 --> 01:05:15,580
(Crying)
1286
01:05:15,711 --> 01:05:18,089
- It will kill my parents if they knew!
1287
01:05:18,213 --> 01:05:20,784
- Zarah, if you jump off this bridge,
1288
01:05:21,950 --> 01:05:23,156
your love ends.
1289
01:05:24,386 --> 01:05:27,799
But if you walk this way,
you can bring hope.
1290
01:05:29,124 --> 01:05:31,764
You don't wanna kill your love, Zarah.
1291
01:05:33,061 --> 01:05:35,701
Hey. Hey, come on.
1292
01:05:38,634 --> 01:05:40,978
You don't wanna do this.
- Let me go!
1293
01:05:41,103 --> 01:05:44,277
God! Please! Please!
1294
01:05:44,406 --> 01:05:45,680
- Come on, Zarah.
1295
01:05:52,881 --> 01:05:54,656
(Crying)
1296
01:05:54,783 --> 01:05:55,989
- It's gonna be OK!
1297
01:05:59,154 --> 01:06:00,258
H's OK.
1298
01:06:00,389 --> 01:06:03,962
Zarah, promise me
you'll tell your family about this.
1299
01:06:05,727 --> 01:06:07,764
(Sighing)
Zarah,these are for you.
1300
01:06:09,297 --> 01:06:11,174
They'll help keep you calm,
1301
01:06:11,667 --> 01:06:14,671
and they're perfectly safe
during your pregnancy.
1302
01:06:15,671 --> 01:06:19,881
But just one a day for 2 weeks, OK?
1303
01:06:20,742 --> 01:06:22,983
(Foreign language)I
1304
01:06:49,805 --> 01:06:51,478
(Electronic Indian music)
1305
01:06:51,740 --> 01:06:52,878
(Electronic Indian music)
1306
01:07:12,561 --> 01:07:14,598
(Rani): Honey!
(Nellie): Hello!
1307
01:07:14,730 --> 01:07:17,711
- Oh, look at the two of you!
- Ah?
1308
01:07:17,833 --> 01:07:18,903
- Ah?
1309
01:07:19,034 --> 01:07:20,877
(All): Ah!
1310
01:07:21,002 --> 01:07:23,949
- Real good, Britney Spears!
(Rani): Yay, Britney!
1311
01:07:24,673 --> 01:07:26,243
- On! My, my!
1312
01:07:26,374 --> 01:07:29,378
- Look at this!
Huh'? All me.
1313
01:07:29,511 --> 01:07:31,889
- Yeah. Oh,wow!
1314
01:07:32,748 --> 01:07:36,525
(Nellie): Oh, Natalie! There you are.
- I didn't even recognize you. Oh, hi!
1315
01:07:36,651 --> 01:07:37,755
'Hi!
1316
01:07:37,886 --> 01:07:39,832
- My hair, you mean.
That's all Rani.
1317
01:07:39,955 --> 01:07:41,730
- Yeah, thank you!
1318
01:07:41,857 --> 01:07:44,394
(All cheering)
1319
01:07:45,260 --> 01:07:46,500
- Come on, come on!
1320
01:07:46,628 --> 01:07:48,107
- Shame on you! Oh, shame!
- Come dance!
1321
01:07:48,230 --> 01:07:50,972
- Where, um... where is the birthday boy?
- on!
1322
01:07:51,099 --> 01:07:53,705
- Where is Deepak?
That's right. Where is he?
1323
01:07:54,069 --> 01:07:55,139
- Where is he?
1324
01:07:56,338 --> 01:07:58,818
(Popping, all cheering)
1325
01:07:58,940 --> 01:08:00,647
- Champagne for everybody!
1326
01:08:00,776 --> 01:08:02,778
# For he's a jolly good fellow #
1327
01:08:02,911 --> 01:08:05,323
# For he's a jolly good fellow #
1328
01:08:05,447 --> 01:08:08,485
# For he's a jolly good fellow #
1329
01:08:09,951 --> 01:08:12,557
# Which nobody can deny #
1330
01:08:12,687 --> 01:08:15,133
(All cheering and applauding)
1331
01:08:17,325 --> 01:08:19,464
(Electronic Indian music)
1332
01:08:28,904 --> 01:08:30,406
(Singing in foreign language)
1333
01:08:30,539 --> 01:08:31,813
# Uh-huh #
1334
01:08:36,478 --> 01:08:37,479
# Really #
1335
01:08:51,226 --> 01:08:52,261
# Come on #
1336
01:09:09,511 --> 01:09:11,320
- Happy birthday, Dr. Cabbie.
1337
01:09:12,681 --> 01:09:13,921
Hey.)'-
. Hey-
1338
01:09:16,318 --> 01:09:19,697
- So, I, uh... I thought you said
it was a small party.
1339
01:09:19,821 --> 01:09:21,926
(Chuckling)
- It's not that big.
1340
01:09:23,625 --> 01:09:25,400
By Indian standards.
1341
01:09:25,527 --> 01:09:27,131
- Oh, right.
1342
01:09:32,033 --> 01:09:33,979
You've been running
away from me all night.
1343
01:09:35,303 --> 01:09:38,944
- Natalie, look, it's... it's OK.
1344
01:09:39,074 --> 01:09:42,988
I... I may never end up
being a doctor again,
1345
01:09:43,111 --> 01:09:45,489
and could just be a cabbie
for the rest of my life.
1346
01:09:45,614 --> 01:09:48,618
- Wait...
What are you talking about?
1347
01:09:50,252 --> 01:09:51,697
- I saw the pictures in the newspaper.
1348
01:09:53,021 --> 01:09:56,127
- Listen, he tricked me.
1349
01:09:57,392 --> 01:10:00,032
He planted those pictures
for his potential campaign,
1350
01:10:00,161 --> 01:10:03,904
and... l should've known better.
1351
01:10:05,634 --> 01:10:07,511
- Colin can offer you the world.
1352
01:10:08,403 --> 01:10:11,407
- He can, and he did.
1353
01:10:13,742 --> 01:10:15,153
But I have my own.
1354
01:10:17,679 --> 01:10:19,784
(Crowd): Tony! Tony!
1355
01:10:19,915 --> 01:10:22,327
(Rapping in foreign language)
1356
01:10:50,378 --> 01:10:51,721
- Whoo-hoo!
1357
01:10:54,182 --> 01:10:57,857
- Hey!
- No! No! What are you doing?
1358
01:11:03,792 --> 01:11:07,239
(Man singing in foreign language)
1359
01:11:12,968 --> 01:11:14,948
(Laughing)
1360
01:11:15,070 --> 01:11:16,981
# Uh-huh #
1361
01:11:17,105 --> 01:11:19,711
# Uh-huh mm-hmm #
1362
01:11:21,042 --> 01:11:23,886
(Crowd cheering and whistling)
1363
01:11:51,840 --> 01:11:53,717
(Muffled music)
1364
01:12:00,015 --> 01:12:01,016
(Deepak): What's going on?
1365
01:12:01,916 --> 01:12:03,554
(Deepak grunting)
1366
01:12:04,686 --> 01:12:07,064
(Officer, echoing): Deepak Chopra,
you are under arrest.
1367
01:12:07,355 --> 01:12:09,767
You have the right to remain silent.
Anything you say
1368
01:12:09,891 --> 01:12:13,498
can or will used against you
in a court of law.
1369
01:12:13,628 --> 01:12:16,575
You have a right to an attorney...
(Natalie): Don't worry!
1370
01:12:16,698 --> 01:12:19,110
...one will be appointed to you.
Do you understand your rights?
1371
01:12:19,234 --> 01:12:20,440
(Deepak): Please!
1372
01:12:20,568 --> 01:12:21,706
Tony!
1373
01:12:21,836 --> 01:12:23,372
(Tony): No, please!
Where are you taking him?
1374
01:12:23,505 --> 01:12:25,644
(Deepak): Please, listen to me!
This is a mistake!
1375
01:12:36,351 --> 01:12:38,388
- Zarah's life hangs by a thread.
1376
01:12:38,520 --> 01:12:41,364
So does Dr. Cabbie's fate.
Once the darling of the city,
1377
01:12:41,489 --> 01:12:43,992
he could now face up
to 15 years in jail
1378
01:12:44,125 --> 01:12:46,605
on charges ranging
from impersonating a doctor
1379
01:12:46,728 --> 01:12:48,833
to dispensing controlled drugs
without a license
1380
01:12:48,963 --> 01:12:51,876
and criminal negligence
causing bodily harm.
1381
01:12:52,200 --> 01:12:55,943
(Man): The cabbie from India
who fought for his hospital residency
1382
01:12:56,071 --> 01:12:59,416
may be fighting
for his own residency in this country.
1383
01:13:00,075 --> 01:13:01,452
- Please, please!
1384
01:13:01,576 --> 01:13:06,423
I'm here today to offer support,
I'm hereto offer sympathy,
1385
01:13:06,981 --> 01:13:08,483
and more than anything,
to find solutions
1386
01:13:08,616 --> 01:13:11,756
to help this shattered family
and this outraged city.
1387
01:13:11,886 --> 01:13:14,730
Well, after this Dr. Cabbie's trial,
1388
01:13:15,356 --> 01:13:18,963
on behalf of the Mahmoods,
our law firm is gonna launch a civil suit
1389
01:13:19,094 --> 01:13:21,870
that will make sure that this hard-working,
immigrant family...
1390
01:13:22,397 --> 01:13:24,138
never has to work
another day in their lives.
1391
01:13:24,265 --> 01:13:26,006
Thank you. That's all for now.
(Woman): One question!
1392
01:13:29,070 --> 01:13:30,515
(Inmates shouting and whistling)
1393
01:13:36,077 --> 01:13:37,522
- Your lawyer's here.
1394
01:13:41,950 --> 01:13:43,224
- Hey!
1395
01:13:44,519 --> 01:13:45,896
- What are you doing here?
1396
01:13:47,122 --> 01:13:49,033
- I'm hereto see you, idiot!
1397
01:13:49,624 --> 01:13:50,625
I, um...
1398
01:13:51,126 --> 01:13:53,606
I started my own law firm today.
1399
01:13:56,764 --> 01:13:58,300
As your first patient,
1400
01:13:58,766 --> 01:14:03,146
I'd like to ask you
if you'd be my first client.
1401
01:14:04,439 --> 01:14:07,443
- Natalie, I do not want to drag you
into all of this.
1402
01:14:07,575 --> 01:14:11,022
- Deepak, I dragged myself into this
the moment I set foot in your cab.
1403
01:14:11,146 --> 01:14:12,557
- You're wasting your time.
1404
01:14:13,515 --> 01:14:15,859
- Do you believe you did the right thing
by treating those people?
1405
01:14:16,484 --> 01:14:20,398
(Sighing)
- Drop it! It's over.
1406
01:14:24,893 --> 01:14:26,600
- Maybe I was wrong about you.
1407
01:14:27,929 --> 01:14:29,840
Maybe you don't believe
what you did was right.
1408
01:14:31,633 --> 01:14:34,079
Maybe you're not the man
I thought you were.
1409
01:14:35,003 --> 01:14:36,414
- I'm not.
1410
01:14:37,939 --> 01:14:39,850
(Keys jingling)
1411
01:14:50,685 --> 01:14:53,495
Attorney Wilman!
Please wait!
1412
01:14:55,823 --> 01:14:57,200
- Sign here.
1413
01:15:00,128 --> 01:15:02,540
I'm gonna need a lot of autographs.
1414
01:15:03,464 --> 01:15:06,206
By the way, really liking the stubble, doc.
1415
01:15:09,437 --> 01:15:11,542
Bail was set at $25,000.
1416
01:15:12,607 --> 01:15:14,382
Your uncle took care of it.
1417
01:15:16,211 --> 01:15:20,682
Before you sign this rookie
who is going up against a 28-year veteran,
1418
01:15:21,549 --> 01:15:24,257
just know that there's always a risk.
1419
01:15:25,220 --> 01:15:28,599
Like, a risk that you
may never be a doctor again.
1420
01:15:28,723 --> 01:15:30,327
(Chuckling)
1421
01:15:30,458 --> 01:15:31,960
- We're in this together.
1422
01:15:32,694 --> 01:15:33,729
- Hey...
1423
01:15:38,900 --> 01:15:41,676
(Colin): Hmm! Wilcher!
- Uh-huh'?
1424
01:15:41,803 --> 01:15:43,180
(Colin chuckling)
1425
01:15:43,304 --> 01:15:45,284
- Wilchie!
- Uh-huh'?
1426
01:15:45,406 --> 01:15:46,714
- These pics are great.
1427
01:15:47,242 --> 01:15:48,516
- Here you go.
1428
01:15:48,643 --> 01:15:50,919
The cops have been following
this guy for months.
1429
01:15:51,045 --> 01:15:54,515
- You nail this cabbie,
I'll make you my chief legal officer
1430
01:15:54,649 --> 01:15:55,627
when I'm elected mayor.
1431
01:15:55,750 --> 01:15:57,923
Look, I don't care
how you do it,just...
1432
01:15:58,920 --> 01:16:02,060
get Dr. Rickshaw sent back
to wherever the hell it is he came from.
1433
01:16:02,190 --> 01:16:05,330
- Dr. Curry will be sent home in a hurry.
Not to worry.
1434
01:16:05,827 --> 01:16:07,670
- That's racist.
- Uh...
1435
01:16:07,795 --> 01:16:11,800
- I gotta keep this stupid family-man act up
till after the election.
1436
01:16:11,933 --> 01:16:13,606
I just want him out of Natalie's life.
1437
01:16:14,202 --> 01:16:16,113
- Hey, listen, talking about your baby-mama,
1438
01:16:16,871 --> 01:16:18,714
I hear she wants to play lawyer.
1439
01:16:18,840 --> 01:16:22,788
Is she any good?
- Oh, Natalie's very, very good.
1440
01:16:23,611 --> 01:16:25,147
She used to work under me.
1441
01:16:25,280 --> 01:16:27,055
- I like a good fight.
1442
01:16:27,181 --> 01:16:28,956
- Oh, you mean as a lawyer? Pfft!
1443
01:16:29,917 --> 01:16:32,193
No, I... l wouldn't worry about her.
1444
01:16:32,620 --> 01:16:35,533
Lawyer!
(Laughing)
1445
01:16:42,297 --> 01:16:44,334
- Hey. you all right?
1446
01:16:45,300 --> 01:16:46,244
(Nellie): Deepu?
1447
01:16:46,367 --> 01:16:48,210
Deepu...
(Rani): Hi, Deepu!
1448
01:16:48,336 --> 01:16:50,338
(All encouraging)
1449
01:16:50,471 --> 01:16:53,111
- Natalie! Natalie, are you ready?
Are you ready?
1450
01:16:53,241 --> 01:16:55,016
- Papa's with you!
- It's all gonna be OK.
1451
01:16:55,143 --> 01:16:56,247
- Papa's with you!
1452
01:16:58,713 --> 01:17:00,784
- Sir? Natalie Wilman.
1453
01:17:05,953 --> 01:17:06,988
Hmm...
1454
01:17:07,121 --> 01:17:09,431
- Hey!
Come here, come here.
1455
01:17:10,224 --> 01:17:13,831
You know what? I'm actually
in a pretty generous mood today,
1456
01:17:13,961 --> 01:17:17,534
so, uh, you get your client
to plead guilty...
1457
01:17:17,665 --> 01:17:19,941
(Clearing throat)
...to impersonating a doctor,
1458
01:17:20,668 --> 01:17:23,274
then I'll drop all the other charges.
What do you say?
1459
01:17:23,404 --> 01:17:24,474
(Chuckling)
1460
01:17:24,605 --> 01:17:28,212
- He's innocent,
and pleading guilty means deportation.
1461
01:17:28,343 --> 01:17:29,617
- Ah!
- So no deal.
1462
01:17:29,744 --> 01:17:31,018
- All rise!
1463
01:17:31,145 --> 01:17:32,453
(Exhaling sharply)
1464
01:17:40,855 --> 01:17:42,630
- Mr. Chopra, how do you plead?
1465
01:17:43,991 --> 01:17:45,197
- I object, Your Honour.
1466
01:17:47,028 --> 01:17:51,636
- Miss Wilman, normally you only object
to things he says.
1467
01:17:51,766 --> 01:17:54,838
Objecting to what the judge says
can seriously offend him.
1468
01:17:54,969 --> 01:17:57,575
- Your Honour, you referred
to my client as Mr. Chopra.
1469
01:17:57,705 --> 01:18:00,379
He's a certified doctor
and deserves to be addressed as such.
1470
01:18:02,744 --> 01:18:03,916
- Mr. Chopra?
1471
01:18:06,147 --> 01:18:07,251
- Not guilty, Your Honour.
1472
01:18:07,382 --> 01:18:09,328
- Yes! Not guilty!
- Shhh! What are you doing?
1473
01:18:09,450 --> 01:18:11,020
- OK.
1474
01:18:12,920 --> 01:18:13,898
Let's go!
1475
01:18:14,021 --> 01:18:16,695
(Officer): After putting Mr. Chopra
under surveillance,
1476
01:18:16,824 --> 01:18:19,236
I found a full medical clinic,
1477
01:18:19,360 --> 01:18:21,863
client charts and prescription drugs
1478
01:18:21,996 --> 01:18:25,034
like oxycodone,
morphine and lorazepam.
1479
01:18:25,166 --> 01:18:29,444
- But Dr. Chopra said it was a symptom
of retinal detachment,
1480
01:18:29,570 --> 01:18:33,780
and he dragged me off to the ER.
- And was his diagnosis accurate?
1481
01:18:33,908 --> 01:18:36,013
- Well, the specialist said if I had waited,
1482
01:18:36,144 --> 01:18:37,555
I would've lost my eye.
1483
01:18:37,678 --> 01:18:38,679
- Thank you.
1484
01:18:38,813 --> 01:18:42,454
- You are saying
that you paid Mr. Chopra $50
1485
01:18:42,583 --> 01:18:45,257
as payment for medical services.
1486
01:18:45,386 --> 01:18:47,024
- Yes, but it was a tip!
1487
01:18:47,155 --> 01:18:48,634
- For medical services.
1488
01:18:48,756 --> 01:18:50,360
Yes or no?
1489
01:18:51,125 --> 01:18:52,399
Yes or no, Mrs. Robinson?
1490
01:18:52,527 --> 01:18:54,598
- Yes.
- Thank you.
1491
01:18:54,729 --> 01:18:57,175
Thank you very much
for clarifying that.
1492
01:18:58,199 --> 01:18:59,177
(Sighing)
1493
01:19:03,438 --> 01:19:04,610
(Sighing)
1494
01:19:10,578 --> 01:19:13,218
- I came here thinking
I could make a difference.
1495
01:19:14,849 --> 01:19:16,192
What have I done?
1496
01:19:18,119 --> 01:19:19,530
I've shamed our family.
1497
01:19:20,788 --> 01:19:22,665
(Sighing)
1498
01:19:22,790 --> 01:19:24,736
I've ruined Papa's legacy.
1499
01:19:27,962 --> 01:19:32,877
- Deepu, there are 3 things
that can never be hidden:
1500
01:19:34,135 --> 01:19:38,208
The Sun, the Moon and the truth.
1501
01:19:39,474 --> 01:19:43,354
And the truth is you help people, Beta.
1502
01:19:43,478 --> 01:19:44,980
(M uttering indistinctly)
1503
01:19:46,314 --> 01:19:47,884
- Not everybody thinks so.
1504
01:19:50,818 --> 01:19:52,263
- Well, then, they're mean.
1505
01:19:53,421 --> 01:19:55,662
But you know what they say
about mean people?
1506
01:19:55,790 --> 01:20:00,330
That they come back in their next life
as a fly and eat poop!
1507
01:20:00,461 --> 01:20:03,032
(Laughing)
1508
01:20:03,164 --> 01:20:04,336
(Sniffling)
1509
01:20:16,744 --> 01:20:17,688
(Tony): Here we go.
1510
01:20:17,812 --> 01:20:20,486
(Simone): Tony, don't be nervous.
Just be yourself, OK?
1511
01:20:20,615 --> 01:20:24,324
- So, what was this, then?
A little side-business you two had going?
1512
01:20:24,452 --> 01:20:25,692
(Judge clearing throat)
1513
01:20:26,954 --> 01:20:28,160
(Clearing throat)
1514
01:20:29,357 --> 01:20:30,597
- Uh...
(Audience groaning)
1515
01:20:30,725 --> 01:20:35,731
See, as brownies,
we'll do a lot for an extra buck, huh?
1516
01:20:35,863 --> 01:20:40,972
We'll, uh... cut your hair with one hand
and we'll cut your taxes with the other.
1517
01:20:41,102 --> 01:20:42,137
(Audience laughing)
1518
01:20:42,270 --> 01:20:45,410
Asking me to deliver a baby
in the back of my cab for an extra $20,
1519
01:20:45,540 --> 01:20:48,749
I mean, that's a little much,
even for us, huh?
1520
01:20:49,877 --> 01:20:52,653
(Wilcher): Thank you very much.
That was a compelling comedy routine.
1521
01:20:52,780 --> 01:20:54,782
- Uh, you know...
1522
01:20:56,117 --> 01:21:00,429
Deepak, man, he saved 2 lives in the cab.
1523
01:21:00,555 --> 01:21:01,499
Two lives!
1524
01:21:01,622 --> 01:21:03,499
He's a hero.
1525
01:21:04,625 --> 01:21:05,763
Our hero.
1526
01:21:06,193 --> 01:21:10,005
- Mr. Donaldson,
what did Dr. Chopra prescribe you?
1527
01:21:10,131 --> 01:21:12,873
- Herbal medicine and hope.
1528
01:21:15,703 --> 01:21:18,843
What's the matter
with all you stupid, smart people?
1529
01:21:20,441 --> 01:21:23,115
There's a lot of people in this country!
They need doctors!
1530
01:21:23,244 --> 01:21:25,588
(inhaling sharply)
And you've got your heads
1531
01:21:25,713 --> 01:21:29,388
so far up your asses,
you can't see you got a really good one
1532
01:21:29,517 --> 01:21:31,292
sitting right there in front of you?!
1533
01:21:32,219 --> 01:21:34,358
I'm on my way out,
1534
01:21:35,289 --> 01:21:37,860
but he just might
save your life one day!
1535
01:21:40,061 --> 01:21:42,234
You're gonna beat it, kid!
1536
01:21:43,531 --> 01:21:47,604
You gotta grab 'em by the balls
and enjoy the ride!
1537
01:21:47,735 --> 01:21:49,146
(Wilcher): Your Honour, please!
1538
01:21:51,839 --> 01:21:54,410
- The defence calls
Zarah Mahmood to the stand.
1539
01:22:00,281 --> 01:22:03,990
- Zarah, you swallowed
the whole bottle of antidepressants.
1540
01:22:04,619 --> 01:22:05,654
Why'?
1541
01:22:06,654 --> 01:22:10,727
- When I overheard
my mom and dad say...
1542
01:22:12,426 --> 01:22:14,064
that I had shamed them...
1543
01:22:16,097 --> 01:22:17,576
they would rather die...
1544
01:22:18,265 --> 01:22:19,972
(Sniffling)
1545
01:22:20,101 --> 01:22:22,638
I decided to take my own life...
1546
01:22:23,471 --> 01:22:25,576
(Crying)
1547
01:22:26,807 --> 01:22:28,480
...to let them live.
1548
01:22:28,609 --> 01:22:31,681
- Now, tell us the night
that you contemplated suicide,
1549
01:22:31,812 --> 01:22:34,224
did Mr. Chopra... did he call 911?
1550
01:22:35,650 --> 01:22:38,096
- No.
- No. Did he call social services?
1551
01:22:39,453 --> 01:22:41,091
- No.
- Did he call your parents?
1552
01:22:41,789 --> 01:22:45,430
- No.
- Zarah, did Dr. Chopra, in any way,
1553
01:22:45,993 --> 01:22:48,132
influence your decision
to take your life?
1554
01:22:49,163 --> 01:22:52,144
(Chuckling)
- He saved my life.
1555
01:22:53,968 --> 01:22:58,474
- But he did give you a bottle
of illegal prescription drugs.
1556
01:22:58,606 --> 01:23:01,416
Is that correct?
- Yes.
1557
01:23:01,542 --> 01:23:05,922
- Zarah, Mr. Chopra
was an irresponsible young man
1558
01:23:06,047 --> 01:23:08,027
who failed in his basic civil duty.
1559
01:23:08,149 --> 01:23:10,686
- Objection, Your Honour!
- Sustained!
1560
01:23:11,318 --> 01:23:13,423
- I stand corrected, sir.
Thank you, Zarah.
1561
01:23:16,424 --> 01:23:18,529
(Judge): Careful, Mr. Wilcher.
1562
01:23:24,665 --> 01:23:26,941
- My parents used to bring me here
when I was little.
1563
01:23:28,269 --> 01:23:30,215
I like to come out here
when I miss them.
1564
01:23:32,473 --> 01:23:33,781
- Look at each plane.
1565
01:23:34,508 --> 01:23:38,251
So many different people,
so many different dreams.
1566
01:23:39,380 --> 01:23:41,758
How many of them actually come true?
1567
01:23:43,117 --> 01:23:46,121
- Your dream of becoming a doctor
has turned into a real nightmare, huh?
1568
01:23:49,557 --> 01:23:52,094
- I was bound by an oath that Hook.
1569
01:23:53,427 --> 01:23:54,838
- You always keep your promises?
1570
01:23:55,863 --> 01:23:57,900
- Yeah, of course.
1571
01:23:59,400 --> 01:24:01,175
(Wind whistling)
1572
01:24:05,906 --> 01:24:08,011
(Chuckling)
1573
01:24:25,493 --> 01:24:29,066
(Wilcher): Can you tell me
how you justify...
1574
01:24:30,331 --> 01:24:33,540
a tip that is 5 times your cab fare?
1575
01:24:35,836 --> 01:24:39,374
- Sir, from what I understand,
in some professions,
1576
01:24:39,507 --> 01:24:42,954
people charge $50
for just 5 minutes of service.
1577
01:24:43,077 --> 01:24:44,681
(Wilcher): Prostitutes.
1578
01:24:45,780 --> 01:24:46,815
- Lawyers.
1579
01:24:46,947 --> 01:24:48,483
(Audience laughing)
1580
01:24:48,616 --> 01:24:49,754
(Gavel hitting block)
1581
01:24:49,884 --> 01:24:51,158
(Judge); Order!
1582
01:24:51,285 --> 01:24:55,791
- I'm glad that you're having
a good time here, Mr. Chopra,
1583
01:24:56,457 --> 01:25:00,303
but tell me,
there are millions of needy in India,
1584
01:25:00,427 --> 01:25:04,307
yet you fly 7,000 miles to come here
and treat people for free?
1585
01:25:05,132 --> 01:25:07,134
- I came hereto heal people,
1586
01:25:08,469 --> 01:25:10,210
no matter where they come from.
1587
01:25:10,805 --> 01:25:12,842
- That's very, very moving,
1588
01:25:14,041 --> 01:25:15,748
and so sincere.
1589
01:25:17,077 --> 01:25:18,647
But tell me,
1590
01:25:19,914 --> 01:25:23,384
did you at any time know
that what you were doing was illegal?
1591
01:25:24,952 --> 01:25:28,263
- I had taken an oath--
- Yes or no, Mr. Chopra?
1592
01:25:31,458 --> 01:25:32,459
- Yes.
1593
01:25:34,995 --> 01:25:36,633
Yes, I did.
1594
01:25:39,166 --> 01:25:40,839
- Thank you, Mr. Chopra.
1595
01:25:42,970 --> 01:25:44,745
- You may step down, Mr. Chopra.
1596
01:25:46,574 --> 01:25:48,850
(Echoing): Mr. Chopra, you may step down.
1597
01:26:15,369 --> 01:26:19,840
(Whispering): I swear to fulfill,
to the best of my ability and judgment...
1598
01:26:19,974 --> 01:26:22,318
- Uh, we're finished with the witness.
- Please, Your Honour!
1599
01:26:22,443 --> 01:26:26,858
- May I always act so as to preserve
the finest traditions of my calling...
1600
01:26:28,515 --> 01:26:34,193
and may I long experience the joy
of healing those who may seek my help.
1601
01:26:36,557 --> 01:26:39,800
I will remember
that I do not treat a fever chart,
1602
01:26:40,728 --> 01:26:42,173
a cancerous growth,
1603
01:26:43,230 --> 01:26:45,141
but a sick human being.
1604
01:26:46,166 --> 01:26:50,012
I will remember that I remain
a member of society
1605
01:26:50,137 --> 01:26:53,118
with special obligations
to all human beings.
1606
01:26:54,041 --> 01:26:57,716
I will respect the hard-won scientific gains
1607
01:26:57,845 --> 01:27:00,883
of those physicians in whose steps l walk.
1608
01:27:02,583 --> 01:27:07,293
I will remember that warmth,
sympathy and understanding...
1609
01:27:08,155 --> 01:27:11,932
may outweigh the surgeon's knife
or the chemist's drug.
1610
01:27:13,160 --> 01:27:15,766
I will no! permit race, religion,
1611
01:27:15,896 --> 01:27:18,433
nationality or social standing
1612
01:27:18,565 --> 01:27:22,843
intervene between my duty
and my patients.
1613
01:27:23,671 --> 01:27:27,915
If I do not violate this oath,
may I be respected while I live,
1614
01:27:28,042 --> 01:27:29,885
remembered affectionately thereafter.
1615
01:27:36,417 --> 01:27:39,057
- Your Honour, may I?
1616
01:27:45,225 --> 01:27:48,695
Dr. Chopra, what did you just recite?
1617
01:27:50,297 --> 01:27:53,835
- The Hippocratic Oath.
- Why'?
1618
01:27:54,835 --> 01:27:56,576
- Because I swore to it.
1619
01:27:57,972 --> 01:28:01,886
- Dr. Chopra, do you believe
that what you did was right?
1620
01:28:02,776 --> 01:28:04,949
- With all my heart, yes.
1621
01:28:08,282 --> 01:28:12,389
And had I not done so,
I would've betrayed my profession...
1622
01:28:13,988 --> 01:28:15,729
and everything I believe in.
1623
01:28:17,057 --> 01:28:18,035
- Thank you.
1624
01:28:19,994 --> 01:28:20,972
Your Honour.
1625
01:28:25,766 --> 01:28:26,710
(Sighing)
1626
01:28:26,834 --> 01:28:30,976
- Do you want our great medical system
to be run by cabbies?
1627
01:28:31,105 --> 01:28:32,641
No.
1628
01:28:32,773 --> 01:28:38,189
I urge you to disregard
Mr. Chopra's celebrity status
1629
01:28:38,312 --> 01:28:40,189
and his phony philanthropy,
1630
01:28:41,982 --> 01:28:44,724
and keep in mind
his utter contempt for the law.
1631
01:28:45,919 --> 01:28:50,095
- Dr. Chopra is a doctor of medicine.
1632
01:28:51,358 --> 01:28:52,769
He upheld an oath...
1633
01:28:53,794 --> 01:28:57,298
that transcends borders,
languages, cultures.
1634
01:28:58,165 --> 01:29:00,167
Members of the jury, I ask you:
1635
01:29:01,035 --> 01:29:03,481
what if you were in the back of that cab?
1636
01:29:03,604 --> 01:29:05,379
(Soft music)
1637
01:29:05,506 --> 01:29:07,747
Would you find this man guilty
1638
01:29:07,875 --> 01:29:10,287
if I! was your life that he saved?
1639
01:29:12,346 --> 01:29:14,383
What if it was the life of your child?
1640
01:29:20,354 --> 01:29:21,799
(Protesters, chanting): Cabbie! Cabbie...!
(Woman): We love you, Dr. Cabbie!
1641
01:29:22,056 --> 01:29:23,399
(Protesters, chanting): Cabbie! Cabbie...!
(Woman): We love you, Dr. Cabbie!
1642
01:29:25,092 --> 01:29:26,036
We love you!
1643
01:29:26,160 --> 01:29:27,901
(Protesters cheering)
1644
01:29:28,028 --> 01:29:30,338
(Reporters shouting)
1645
01:29:32,366 --> 01:29:33,777
- Any comment, please!
1646
01:29:33,901 --> 01:29:36,347
- I'm trying to get you to deliver my baby!
1647
01:29:37,171 --> 01:29:38,650
(Woman): We love you!
1648
01:29:41,642 --> 01:29:42,950
- Has the jury reached a verdict?
1649
01:29:43,710 --> 01:29:45,087
- Yes, we have, Your Honour.
1650
01:29:45,212 --> 01:29:48,056
- On the charge of impersonating
a doctor, what say you?
1651
01:29:48,182 --> 01:29:49,126
- Not guilty.
1652
01:29:49,249 --> 01:29:50,193
(Audience sighing)
1653
01:29:50,317 --> 01:29:53,127
- On the charge of criminal negligence
causing bodily harm?
1654
01:29:53,253 --> 01:29:54,459
- Not guilty.
1655
01:29:54,588 --> 01:29:56,033
(Audience exclaiming)
1656
01:29:56,156 --> 01:29:57,396
(Gavel hitting block)
1657
01:29:58,459 --> 01:30:01,440
- And possessing and dispensing
controlled drugs without a license?
1658
01:30:01,562 --> 01:30:02,734
- Guilty.
1659
01:30:02,863 --> 01:30:05,867
- Members of the jury,
thank you for your time.
1660
01:30:05,999 --> 01:30:09,879
- Your Honour, the prosecution recommends
a minimum 4-year jail term,
1661
01:30:10,003 --> 01:30:13,712
after which, since Mr. Chopra
is not a citizen of our country,
1662
01:30:13,841 --> 01:30:15,650
we recommend that he be deported.
1663
01:30:15,776 --> 01:30:18,620
(Audience shouting)
(Tony): You can't do that!
1664
01:30:19,446 --> 01:30:21,722
- Order!
(Tony): Idiot!
1665
01:30:21,849 --> 01:30:24,227
- I'll pronounce
the sentence in 2 hours.
1666
01:30:24,351 --> 01:30:25,455
- All rise!
1667
01:30:29,456 --> 01:30:30,457
(Woman): Excuse me...
1668
01:30:32,092 --> 01:30:33,662
- Come on. We don't have much time.
1669
01:30:33,794 --> 01:30:35,171
- Where are we going?
- You'll see.
1670
01:30:36,630 --> 01:30:38,234
- Natalie! Natalie,just...
1671
01:30:38,599 --> 01:30:39,771
Listen, w...!
1672
01:30:42,035 --> 01:30:43,070
Where are we going?
1673
01:30:45,606 --> 01:30:48,177
- Your Honour, I'd like
to present important evidence
1674
01:30:48,308 --> 01:30:50,686
before sentencing the accused.
- Miss Wilman,
1675
01:30:50,811 --> 01:30:54,486
evidence comes before
the guilty/not-guilty thing.
1676
01:30:54,615 --> 01:30:56,424
(Chuckling)
1677
01:30:57,251 --> 01:30:59,094
It's against my better judgment,
1678
01:31:00,287 --> 01:31:01,857
but you may proceed.
1679
01:31:01,989 --> 01:31:05,027
- Your honour,
I ask you to consider the value
1680
01:31:05,159 --> 01:31:08,800
Dr. Chopra's deportation
would serve his new wife and child.
1681
01:31:08,929 --> 01:31:11,842
- Mr. Chopra was a bachelor
when this trial started.
1682
01:31:11,965 --> 01:31:13,467
What am I missing?
1683
01:31:13,600 --> 01:31:14,601
- Well...
1684
01:31:17,104 --> 01:31:18,845
- Shhh!
1685
01:31:21,408 --> 01:31:22,648
- You ready, boss?
1686
01:31:22,776 --> 01:31:24,653
- Come on! Come on!
1687
01:31:27,514 --> 01:31:30,017
Hi!
- Hi! Do you have the marriage license?
1688
01:31:30,150 --> 01:31:32,528
- Yeah, here you go.
- Marriage license?
1689
01:31:32,653 --> 01:31:34,655
- Yeah, you signed that when you signed me.
1690
01:31:34,788 --> 01:31:36,825
Always read the fine print, Dr. Chopra.
1691
01:31:38,425 --> 01:31:40,496
Nervous? Me too.
It's my first time.
1692
01:31:40,627 --> 01:31:43,198
(Witnesses laughing)
1693
01:31:44,665 --> 01:31:47,612
- Do you want me to marry you
only so I can stay in this country?
1694
01:31:49,002 --> 01:31:52,643
- No, I... want you to marry me
because you love me.
1695
01:31:57,211 --> 01:31:58,281
" No!
1696
01:31:59,112 --> 01:32:00,955
- Idiot!
1697
01:32:01,682 --> 01:32:02,683
- What is he doing?
1698
01:32:03,283 --> 01:32:05,194
- Is there an objection?
1699
01:32:05,319 --> 01:32:08,232
- Yes! I... I object.
1700
01:32:09,523 --> 01:32:11,332
(Nellie, whispering): Deepu, don't!
1701
01:32:11,458 --> 01:32:14,166
- I'm sorry, I... I can't marry you.
1702
01:32:14,294 --> 01:32:15,398
(Nellie): No!
1703
01:32:15,529 --> 01:32:16,837
- Not like this.
1704
01:32:20,367 --> 01:32:21,812
- -Deepu!!
1705
01:32:34,915 --> 01:32:36,258
- Natalie...
1706
01:32:37,684 --> 01:32:39,664
I don't know what tomorrow will bring...
1707
01:32:41,355 --> 01:32:42,925
but with you as my wife
1708
01:32:44,091 --> 01:32:45,764
and Ganesh as my son,
1709
01:32:47,594 --> 01:32:49,164
I know I can face it.
1710
01:32:49,863 --> 01:32:52,434
I promise to love you both forever.
1711
01:32:54,201 --> 01:32:55,839
Will you marry me?
1712
01:32:57,170 --> 01:32:58,114
- Of course I will!
1713
01:32:58,238 --> 01:33:00,081
(Witnesses cheering and applauding)
1714
01:33:07,447 --> 01:33:09,017
- I'm so happy!
1715
01:33:10,050 --> 01:33:12,656
- And... now we're happily married.
1716
01:33:12,786 --> 01:33:14,026
(Applause)
1717
01:33:16,857 --> 01:33:17,858
- Thank you, Miss Wilman.
1718
01:33:19,192 --> 01:33:22,002
Prescribing drugs without a license
1719
01:33:22,129 --> 01:33:25,201
has meant ruin for many before you.
1720
01:33:27,768 --> 01:33:31,614
But I see more gain in sentencing you
to 500 hours of community service...
1721
01:33:31,738 --> 01:33:34,344
(Audience members exclaiming)
...than putting you in jail.
1722
01:33:35,208 --> 01:33:37,620
And you will not practise
without a license.
1723
01:33:38,111 --> 01:33:40,785
Considering your deep family ties
in this country,
1724
01:33:41,648 --> 01:33:45,289
it is this court's decision
not to deport you.
1725
01:33:45,419 --> 01:33:47,660
(Cheering)
1726
01:33:49,790 --> 01:33:50,768
(Rani): We did n!
1727
01:33:50,891 --> 01:33:52,529
- This court is adjourned.
(Gavel banging)
1728
01:33:52,659 --> 01:33:54,661
(Cheering)
1729
01:33:56,396 --> 01:33:58,706
(Tony): Good job, everybody!
1730
01:33:59,833 --> 01:34:01,972
Good job, everybody. Good job!
- on!
1731
01:34:03,303 --> 01:34:06,147
- Ah! Ah!
1732
01:34:06,773 --> 01:34:09,754
- We did it!
- Let's go, let's go!
1733
01:34:12,446 --> 01:34:15,393
(Vijay): Rani! Rani, let's go!
1734
01:34:15,515 --> 01:34:18,724
(Rani): This is a good thing, right?
1735
01:34:18,852 --> 01:34:20,024
Oh my gosh!
1736
01:34:21,288 --> 01:34:23,734
- Oh, Deepak!
I love you!
1737
01:34:23,857 --> 01:34:25,495
I love this guy!
1738
01:34:25,625 --> 01:34:28,834
(Bellowing)
(Laughing)
1739
01:34:28,962 --> 01:34:30,373
(Vijay): All right, let's eat!
1740
01:34:31,331 --> 01:34:33,743
(Vijay and Tony shouting, indistinct)
1741
01:34:33,867 --> 01:34:35,346
- Yes, yes, yes!
1742
01:34:37,504 --> 01:34:39,245
(Vijay): Come on, let's go!
1743
01:34:39,373 --> 01:34:41,375
- Natalie! Wow!
1744
01:34:41,508 --> 01:34:43,078
So vicious, but sexy!
1745
01:34:43,210 --> 01:34:46,316
Seriously, so much sexier since my baby
tumbled out of your vagina.
1746
01:34:46,446 --> 01:34:48,949
That's a compliment! OK, you know what?
You wouldn't have given
1747
01:34:49,082 --> 01:34:52,689
Slum Doc here a second chance
if he hadn't seen your powdered kitty
1748
01:34:52,819 --> 01:34:54,628
in the back of the cab.
- Leave it, Deepak. He's drunk.
1749
01:34:56,123 --> 01:34:57,067
- What did you say?
1750
01:34:57,190 --> 01:34:59,329
- I said, "Birdie Num Num Num Num."
1751
01:35:00,660 --> 01:35:01,695
Oh!
1752
01:35:03,897 --> 01:35:05,137
Oh God!
1753
01:35:05,932 --> 01:35:07,502
- Are you OK?
- Yeah, well, he just punched--
1754
01:35:07,634 --> 01:35:10,240
- Dick!
- Why does that feel good?
1755
01:35:10,370 --> 01:35:12,577
I like that. I don't know why.
Oh God, that feels...
1756
01:35:13,974 --> 01:35:16,580
- As I was saying,
how does a honeymoon in India sound?
1757
01:35:16,710 --> 01:35:18,656
- I'd love to see the Taj Mahal with you.
1758
01:35:23,583 --> 01:35:26,154
(Ringing)
1759
01:35:35,095 --> 01:35:36,836
- Ah!
(Speaking Hindi)
1760
01:35:38,832 --> 01:35:41,540
(Shouting gibberish)
1761
01:35:48,008 --> 01:35:49,316
# Come on #
1762
01:35:49,443 --> 01:35:52,390
(Electronic Indian music)
1763
01:36:00,620 --> 01:36:04,432
(Woman on PM: Dr. Chopra to radiology.
Dr. Chopra, radiology.
1764
01:36:04,558 --> 01:36:06,401
- How are you feeling, honey?
- Fine.
1765
01:36:06,526 --> 01:36:10,668
- I told you false alarms,
Braxton Hicks contractions, nothing else.
1766
01:36:10,797 --> 01:36:13,334
- Honey, I'd just really like
to give birth in a hospital this time,
1767
01:36:13,467 --> 01:36:15,640
you know what I'm saying?
- You got it.
1768
01:36:15,769 --> 01:36:17,680
- You don't want me to fall in love
with another cabbie, do you?
1769
01:36:17,804 --> 01:36:18,976
- Just make sure he's a doctor.
1770
01:36:19,506 --> 01:36:20,883
# I'm living the life #
1771
01:36:20,974 --> 01:36:22,351
# I've been feeling right #
1772
01:36:22,476 --> 01:36:25,923
# It must be magic #
1773
01:36:40,494 --> 01:36:42,440
(Dr. Cabbie by Deesha)
1774
01:36:42,562 --> 01:36:44,337
(Engine revving)
1775
01:37:03,850 --> 01:37:08,230
You know, I always wonder,
will we ever find a cure for cancer?
1776
01:37:08,688 --> 01:37:10,861
It I'm not home
It's an emergency... $1
1777
01:37:10,991 --> 01:37:12,334
- You know what I wonder'?
1778
01:37:13,827 --> 01:37:18,367
Why is a "bra" singular
and "panties" plural?
1779
01:37:19,032 --> 01:37:22,241
It My temperature is rising
and I just can't stand it $1
1780
01:37:22,369 --> 01:37:25,782
it Time is running out
for you to set me free $1
1781
01:37:25,906 --> 01:37:28,045
# Dr. Cabbie Dr. Cabbie... #
1782
01:37:28,174 --> 01:37:29,152
- You're looking good, Tony.
1783
01:37:29,276 --> 01:37:31,517
Now, all I need a urine
and a stool sample.
1784
01:37:31,645 --> 01:37:33,056
- OK, doc!
- OK.
1785
01:37:33,847 --> 01:37:36,418
Ti Dr. Cabbie Dr. Cabbie
Can you fix me... $1
1786
01:37:36,550 --> 01:37:38,928
What are you doing? Tony, what--
- Shhh!
1787
01:37:39,052 --> 01:37:40,224
- Tony, what are you doing?
1788
01:37:40,854 --> 01:37:42,731
- There you go, doc!
That's the way.
1789
01:37:42,856 --> 01:37:43,834
# My desire #
1790
01:37:43,957 --> 01:37:45,493
# The fire's burning higher #
1791
01:37:46,192 --> 01:37:47,796
# Your body's calling me #
1792
01:37:47,928 --> 01:37:50,033
# Your body's calling me #
1793
01:37:50,163 --> 01:37:51,767
(All shouting)
1794
01:37:51,898 --> 01:37:54,105
- Deepak, I am so sorry!
- I don't mean any disrespect.
1795
01:37:54,234 --> 01:37:55,440
- Get the (bleep!)
Sorry.
1796
01:37:55,569 --> 01:37:57,446
(All laughing)
1797
01:38:05,145 --> 01:38:07,591
- Do your nipples always get hard
when you're cold?
1798
01:38:08,148 --> 01:38:09,286
- Only when I'm horny.
1799
01:38:09,416 --> 01:38:11,362
(Both laughing)
1800
01:38:12,152 --> 01:38:13,722
- Are you a safe driver?
1801
01:38:14,854 --> 01:38:16,663
- Yeah, I've got a condom on right now.
1802
01:38:16,790 --> 01:38:17,768
(Giggling)
1803
01:38:17,891 --> 01:38:18,892
(Bruno): Show me!
1804
01:38:20,393 --> 01:38:22,805
(Laughing)
(Bleep!)
1805
01:38:22,929 --> 01:38:24,306
Another one?
(Snickering)
1806
01:38:24,431 --> 01:38:27,412
# Time for you to set me free #
1807
01:38:27,534 --> 01:38:29,775
# Dr. Cabbie Dr. Cabbie #
1808
01:38:29,903 --> 01:38:33,043
it Can you fix me
Fix me up right now $1
1809
01:38:33,173 --> 01:38:35,278
# Pick me up right now... #
1810
01:38:35,408 --> 01:38:37,354
- How many wives do you have?
1811
01:38:38,244 --> 01:38:40,155
- Three... a week,
1812
01:38:40,280 --> 01:38:42,556
hmm, until their husbands find out.
(Chuckling)
1813
01:38:42,682 --> 01:38:45,526
- Welcome to the Korma Sutra.
1814
01:38:46,920 --> 01:38:47,921
Ah!
1815
01:38:48,955 --> 01:38:51,333
- On!
(Laughing)
1816
01:38:52,726 --> 01:38:56,469
- I ask this girl, OK, politely,
3 times to go out with me.
1817
01:38:56,596 --> 01:38:58,906
Politely! And you know what she says?
1818
01:38:59,032 --> 01:39:01,376
(Snapping fingers)
No. Pfft! Just like that.
1819
01:39:01,501 --> 01:39:04,175
- Maybe your approach is all wrong.
- What do you mean, my approach is all wrong?
1820
01:39:04,304 --> 01:39:05,840
You're the king of approaches, or what?
1821
01:39:05,972 --> 01:39:07,178
- OK, show me!
1822
01:39:07,307 --> 01:39:09,287
- You're a dude!
- Try. It'll be fun.
1823
01:39:09,409 --> 01:39:10,513
- OK, ahem!
1824
01:39:12,312 --> 01:39:15,020
It Time is running out
For you to set me free... $1
1825
01:39:15,148 --> 01:39:16,354
Let's have sex.
1826
01:39:17,083 --> 01:39:19,529
- No, no, Tony--
- Wait, wait! No, no, no!
1827
01:39:19,653 --> 01:39:22,156
Let's have sex, please.
- Tony, you can't say that.
1828
01:39:22,288 --> 01:39:24,928
- What do you mean?
OK, please, let's have sex.
1829
01:39:25,625 --> 01:39:27,798
- Tony--
- Please, let's have sex, please!
1830
01:39:27,927 --> 01:39:29,463
Please, please! Let's have sex, please!
- No!
1831
01:39:29,596 --> 01:39:31,303
- You're just like every other woman!
1832
01:39:33,333 --> 01:39:34,607
You suck!
1833
01:39:45,679 --> 01:39:47,625
(Electronic Indian music)
1834
01:39:57,857 --> 01:39:59,564
(Man singing in foreign language)
1835
01:39:59,693 --> 01:40:00,967
# Uh-huh #
1836
01:40:02,028 --> 01:40:03,029
# Uh-huh #
1837
01:40:06,032 --> 01:40:07,204
# Really #
1838
01:40:19,979 --> 01:40:21,219
# Come on #
1839
01:40:59,085 --> 01:41:00,928
(Tony rapping in foreign language)
1840
01:41:42,929 --> 01:41:46,376
(Man singing in foreign language)
1841
01:41:52,071 --> 01:41:53,641
# Uh-huh #
1842
01:41:54,574 --> 01:41:55,917
# Uh-huh #
1843
01:41:56,676 --> 01:42:00,419
# Uh-huh mm-hmm #
1844
01:42:22,268 --> 01:42:24,748
(All I Need Is You
by Raghav)
1845
01:42:28,074 --> 01:42:31,681
# AH I need is you #
1846
01:42:31,811 --> 01:42:35,623
# AH I need is you #
1847
01:42:35,748 --> 01:42:38,991
# AH I need is you #
1848
01:42:39,118 --> 01:42:42,395
it And I'm so glad
I've found you $1
1849
01:42:43,189 --> 01:42:46,261
it And I'm so glad
I've found you $1
1850
01:42:48,628 --> 01:42:52,132
it I never thought I'd ever find
a love like this $1
1851
01:42:52,532 --> 01:42:55,376
it I never thought I'd find
someone like you $1
1852
01:42:56,269 --> 01:42:59,876
it I thought I'd go through life
being so lonely $1
1853
01:43:00,306 --> 01:43:02,752
it I never thought
Pd need it like I do $1
1854
01:43:03,509 --> 01:43:04,579
#Ooh#
1855
01:43:04,711 --> 01:43:07,885
# I wanna be your girl oh #
1856
01:43:08,314 --> 01:43:10,419
# I've been searching around the world #
1857
01:43:10,550 --> 01:43:14,020
# And all I need is you #
1858
01:43:14,153 --> 01:43:17,532
# AH I need is you #
1859
01:43:17,657 --> 01:43:21,901
# Ooh all I need is you... #
136861
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