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1
00:00:07,295 --> 00:00:09,566
(breathing heavily)
2
00:00:19,285 --> 00:00:21,557
(grunting)
3
00:00:30,875 --> 00:00:33,146
(groaning)
4
00:00:51,750 --> 00:00:53,788
(exhales)
5
00:01:01,002 --> 00:01:02,872
Oh, God.
6
00:01:07,750 --> 00:01:10,220
(sighs)
7
00:01:17,703 --> 00:01:20,207
What the fuck?
8
00:01:24,583 --> 00:01:26,787
(grunting)
9
00:01:49,666 --> 00:01:51,870
(groaning)
10
00:01:57,649 --> 00:01:58,851
(yelps)
11
00:01:58,918 --> 00:02:01,724
(grunting)
12
00:02:07,268 --> 00:02:09,438
(labored breathing)
13
00:02:11,042 --> 00:02:14,248
(muffled):
Help! Help!
14
00:02:14,315 --> 00:02:18,223
Help!
Help!
15
00:02:18,290 --> 00:02:21,764
Help! Help!
16
00:02:21,830 --> 00:02:22,966
Help!
17
00:02:23,033 --> 00:02:25,303
(groaning)
18
00:02:26,339 --> 00:02:28,611
♪♪ ♪♪
19
00:02:30,982 --> 00:02:33,253
(panting)
20
00:02:38,230 --> 00:02:40,500
(exhaling)
21
00:02:55,030 --> 00:02:56,466
Okay.
22
00:02:57,869 --> 00:02:59,940
Okay.
23
00:03:01,409 --> 00:03:03,914
(breathes deeply)
24
00:03:05,985 --> 00:03:08,256
♪♪ ♪♪
25
00:03:24,723 --> 00:03:26,526
(beep)
26
00:03:26,594 --> 00:03:28,196
GENE:
Hello, Dr. Strauss.
27
00:03:28,263 --> 00:03:30,400
Uh, my name is Gene Bollinger.
28
00:03:30,467 --> 00:03:32,471
I was hoping
to get started in a course
29
00:03:32,539 --> 00:03:33,941
of psychotherapy.
30
00:03:34,008 --> 00:03:35,945
I thought you might be able
to help me
31
00:03:36,012 --> 00:03:37,447
with some of my problems.
32
00:03:38,150 --> 00:03:39,719
So, uh, yeah.
33
00:03:39,786 --> 00:03:42,190
I guess I'll call you back,
uh, if that's okay.
34
00:03:42,257 --> 00:03:43,727
I'm a little hard to reach.
35
00:03:44,461 --> 00:03:46,900
Yeah, okay, thanks.
36
00:03:50,374 --> 00:03:52,645
(machine beeps)
37
00:03:54,048 --> 00:03:55,451
(phone beeps, dials)
38
00:03:55,518 --> 00:03:57,055
(line rings)
39
00:03:57,121 --> 00:03:59,893
SHOSHANA: Hi, it's Shoshana.
Leave a message.
40
00:03:59,960 --> 00:04:02,097
-(beep)
-Hey, honey. It's Dad.
41
00:04:02,164 --> 00:04:03,267
Just checking in.
42
00:04:03,333 --> 00:04:05,270
I'm in sessions until 8:00.
43
00:04:05,337 --> 00:04:07,007
Bye-bye.
44
00:04:13,554 --> 00:04:15,691
What can I help you with, Gene?
45
00:04:18,396 --> 00:04:20,868
My dad beat the shit out of me.
46
00:04:22,204 --> 00:04:24,943
A lot, uh, when I was a kid.
47
00:04:26,345 --> 00:04:29,085
And I think it fucked me up.
48
00:04:29,853 --> 00:04:31,890
That's a tough thing
to go through.
49
00:04:32,792 --> 00:04:34,963
You said it fucked you up.
50
00:04:35,030 --> 00:04:36,834
In what ways?
51
00:04:36,900 --> 00:04:38,838
All ways.
52
00:04:38,905 --> 00:04:40,341
(pants softly)
53
00:04:40,407 --> 00:04:41,711
Like I'm not content.
54
00:04:41,777 --> 00:04:44,482
I don't have a good social life.
55
00:04:44,550 --> 00:04:46,787
I get angry.
56
00:04:49,793 --> 00:04:53,066
That's the sort of thing
you help people with, right?
57
00:04:54,035 --> 00:04:55,905
Yes.
58
00:04:56,673 --> 00:04:58,309
So, I read your book.
59
00:04:58,376 --> 00:04:59,780
Oh.
60
00:04:59,847 --> 00:05:01,950
-What'd you think?
-It was good.
61
00:05:02,017 --> 00:05:06,059
I thought, you know,
this guy is a real expert.
62
00:05:06,126 --> 00:05:07,261
Mm-hmm.
63
00:05:07,328 --> 00:05:08,998
Well, I've been doing it
a long time.
64
00:05:09,065 --> 00:05:10,935
(chuckles softly)
65
00:05:12,839 --> 00:05:15,076
♪♪ ♪♪
66
00:05:18,885 --> 00:05:21,824
COLLEEN:
I'm sorry for your loss.
67
00:05:22,592 --> 00:05:24,295
That's what
normal people say, right?
68
00:05:24,362 --> 00:05:27,368
ALAN:
How does it feel
for you to say it?
69
00:05:27,434 --> 00:05:28,905
COLLEEN:
It just, um...
70
00:05:29,706 --> 00:05:32,244
...just seems like
what I hear people say.
71
00:05:32,311 --> 00:05:33,747
But I mean it.
72
00:05:33,814 --> 00:05:36,620
Well, that is
the important part.
73
00:05:39,191 --> 00:05:40,461
Gene, I wanted to ask you
74
00:05:40,528 --> 00:05:42,097
about your sunglasses.
75
00:05:42,164 --> 00:05:44,268
I think it might be
a good idea for you
76
00:05:44,335 --> 00:05:46,506
to take them off, so we can see
each other better.
77
00:05:46,574 --> 00:05:47,575
I have eye problems.
78
00:05:47,642 --> 00:05:49,378
ALAN:
Oh, what's wrong?
79
00:05:49,445 --> 00:05:50,881
GENE:
Light hurts them.
80
00:05:51,583 --> 00:05:53,219
They're oversensitive.
81
00:05:53,286 --> 00:05:55,257
You've seen a doctor about it?
82
00:05:55,324 --> 00:05:57,227
Two doctors.
83
00:05:57,294 --> 00:05:59,699
♪♪ ♪♪
84
00:06:04,543 --> 00:06:06,547
(water running)
85
00:06:06,614 --> 00:06:08,551
Well, we're out of time.
86
00:06:08,618 --> 00:06:10,521
Isn't that my line?
87
00:06:10,588 --> 00:06:12,358
(water running)
88
00:06:12,425 --> 00:06:15,197
I'm trying to take care
of your needs again, aren't I?
89
00:06:15,264 --> 00:06:17,234
I think so.
90
00:06:17,301 --> 00:06:19,606
♪♪ ♪♪
91
00:06:22,979 --> 00:06:24,515
He hit me.
92
00:06:25,517 --> 00:06:27,154
All the time.
93
00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:29,024
When you say "all the time,"
94
00:06:29,091 --> 00:06:32,465
could you be any more
specific about it?
95
00:06:32,532 --> 00:06:34,468
Pretty much all the time.
96
00:07:00,020 --> 00:07:01,823
(baby fussing)
97
00:07:30,247 --> 00:07:32,284
♪♪ ♪♪
98
00:07:55,565 --> 00:07:57,869
-Thank you.
-Thank you very much.
99
00:07:57,935 --> 00:08:00,207
-Alan, welcome.
-ALAN: Chaim, how are you?
100
00:08:00,274 --> 00:08:01,308
Baruch Hashem.
101
00:08:01,375 --> 00:08:03,714
-You?
-I'm well, thanks.
102
00:08:05,652 --> 00:08:07,054
-I'll be in the back.
-EZRA: Oh.
103
00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:08,691
Okay.
104
00:08:08,757 --> 00:08:11,262
-Hi, Ezra.
-Hi, Dad.
105
00:08:12,398 --> 00:08:14,335
It's Mom's guitar?
106
00:08:14,402 --> 00:08:15,538
Mm-hmm.
107
00:08:15,605 --> 00:08:17,341
I figured you should have it.
108
00:08:17,408 --> 00:08:20,180
You're the only one
in the family who plays, so...
109
00:08:23,687 --> 00:08:26,125
I don't play anymore.
110
00:08:28,998 --> 00:08:33,006
GENE:
That's it, 'cause you'd expect
anybody to save their own ass,
111
00:08:33,073 --> 00:08:36,479
but he'd rather die
than use her as his excuse,
112
00:08:36,546 --> 00:08:38,651
-like, uh, disgrace her.
-ALAN: I think
113
00:08:38,718 --> 00:08:40,320
I have actually heard
that one before.
114
00:08:40,386 --> 00:08:42,457
Right, it's a classic.
115
00:08:42,524 --> 00:08:44,461
(chuckles)
116
00:08:44,529 --> 00:08:47,735
(sighs deeply)
117
00:08:49,773 --> 00:08:51,577
You know, Gene,
I've been thinking.
118
00:08:51,644 --> 00:08:53,380
It's been a while
119
00:08:53,447 --> 00:08:55,150
since we started
talking together.
120
00:08:55,217 --> 00:08:58,156
And I've noticed that...
121
00:08:59,191 --> 00:09:03,634
...you're not really
opening yourself up to me.
122
00:09:03,701 --> 00:09:06,940
Whenever I ask
for stories or details,
123
00:09:07,007 --> 00:09:09,946
you have a tendency
to get kind of vague
124
00:09:10,013 --> 00:09:11,249
or you start telling me
125
00:09:11,316 --> 00:09:14,522
about country music songs
that you like.
126
00:09:14,590 --> 00:09:19,098
And I've noticed
that I myself am feeling
127
00:09:19,164 --> 00:09:21,771
a little frustrated
by this process.
128
00:09:22,539 --> 00:09:25,176
And I'm wondering
if you're feeling that as well.
129
00:09:26,212 --> 00:09:29,686
Usually when one person feels
that way, it's kind of mutual.
130
00:09:32,291 --> 00:09:33,426
I don't know.
131
00:09:34,261 --> 00:09:38,003
I guess it's not working
the way it did in your book.
132
00:09:38,069 --> 00:09:41,075
ALAN:
Gene, in order
for this process to work,
133
00:09:41,142 --> 00:09:43,747
you have to be able
to tell me things
134
00:09:43,814 --> 00:09:46,352
that are not easy to tell.
135
00:09:47,421 --> 00:09:51,028
To be open and truthful.
136
00:09:53,801 --> 00:09:55,838
Maybe I'm not cut out for this.
137
00:09:57,775 --> 00:10:00,948
'Cause I'm... I'm trying.
138
00:10:01,783 --> 00:10:04,288
I really-- I'm trying.
139
00:10:06,025 --> 00:10:07,995
In my experience...
140
00:10:09,031 --> 00:10:10,434
...anyone who has come this far,
141
00:10:10,500 --> 00:10:14,074
who has made the choice
to come to therapy
142
00:10:14,141 --> 00:10:18,149
and keep hammering away
at the hard things...
143
00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:21,255
...they can be helped.
144
00:10:26,934 --> 00:10:28,871
(kettle whistling)
145
00:10:28,937 --> 00:10:31,442
(sportscaster speaking
indistinctly on TV)
146
00:10:44,402 --> 00:10:45,705
(wind whistling)
147
00:10:45,772 --> 00:10:48,276
(clattering)
148
00:10:51,883 --> 00:10:53,854
(dogs barking in distance)
149
00:10:53,921 --> 00:10:56,425
(clattering)
150
00:10:58,931 --> 00:11:01,803
(dogs continue barking)
151
00:11:04,576 --> 00:11:06,947
(rustling)
152
00:11:21,342 --> 00:11:24,114
(rattling)
153
00:11:44,455 --> 00:11:45,858
(gasps)
154
00:11:50,835 --> 00:11:53,105
(crows cawing in distance)
155
00:12:02,692 --> 00:12:05,197
♪♪ ♪♪
156
00:12:05,264 --> 00:12:07,802
(clattering)
157
00:12:11,644 --> 00:12:14,281
(urinating nearby)
158
00:12:26,640 --> 00:12:28,910
(toilet flushing)
159
00:12:39,766 --> 00:12:42,504
I'm so sorry. I know this sucks.
160
00:12:42,572 --> 00:12:44,107
I'll be right back.
161
00:12:50,555 --> 00:12:52,825
(door closes)
162
00:12:54,630 --> 00:12:57,735
(door opens)
163
00:12:57,802 --> 00:12:58,904
(door closes)
164
00:12:58,971 --> 00:13:01,175
Gene, what the hell's going on?
165
00:13:01,242 --> 00:13:03,580
I mean, what the fuck?!
166
00:13:03,647 --> 00:13:06,318
Let me out, let me out,
let me out of here.
167
00:13:06,385 --> 00:13:08,623
Let me out of here
right now, Gene!
168
00:13:08,690 --> 00:13:11,228
-Gene!
-You take it easy.
169
00:13:13,199 --> 00:13:15,136
Last night you were screaming.
170
00:13:15,203 --> 00:13:18,242
We're in the woods out here.
Nobody's around.
171
00:13:22,752 --> 00:13:24,589
I know how upset you are.
172
00:13:24,655 --> 00:13:26,325
Of course. Anybody would be.
173
00:13:26,392 --> 00:13:28,563
This isn't as bad as it seems.
174
00:13:30,768 --> 00:13:34,642
It's bad, I know it's bad, but
I just, I just need your help.
175
00:13:34,709 --> 00:13:35,778
Look...
176
00:13:36,780 --> 00:13:39,552
I don't know what you think
you're doing, but this...
177
00:13:39,619 --> 00:13:41,021
this...
(sighs)
178
00:13:41,088 --> 00:13:42,959
Unlock this goddamn chain.
179
00:13:43,025 --> 00:13:45,163
Right now. I mean it, Gene.
180
00:13:46,099 --> 00:13:47,935
Gene, listen,
you have to listen to me.
181
00:13:48,770 --> 00:13:50,473
I realize that there's
something inside of you
182
00:13:50,541 --> 00:13:52,344
that's telling you
that this is a good idea...
183
00:13:52,410 --> 00:13:54,849
I know, it's-it's not exactly
that it's a good idea,
184
00:13:54,916 --> 00:13:56,118
I do realize that.
185
00:13:56,185 --> 00:13:58,122
But, you know,
I'm out of options,
186
00:13:58,189 --> 00:14:00,293
and I really think
if we can just talk,
187
00:14:00,360 --> 00:14:02,464
this will, this will be okay.
188
00:14:02,532 --> 00:14:04,535
-Okay-ish.
-I have to help you see
189
00:14:04,602 --> 00:14:06,338
that this is wrong.
190
00:14:07,374 --> 00:14:09,011
Scaring me like this is wrong.
191
00:14:09,078 --> 00:14:10,981
You have to see that.
I know you can see that.
192
00:14:11,048 --> 00:14:12,484
I do, I do, I know,
193
00:14:12,552 --> 00:14:16,994
but... I wasn't getting
anywhere in therapy.
194
00:14:17,060 --> 00:14:19,165
You said so yourself, right?
195
00:14:19,231 --> 00:14:20,601
And I think that I know why.
196
00:14:20,668 --> 00:14:22,237
You see, I-I couldn't...
197
00:14:22,303 --> 00:14:24,976
I couldn't really tell you
the truth in your office.
198
00:14:25,043 --> 00:14:26,780
But here, here... I can.
199
00:14:26,847 --> 00:14:28,183
No, no, no, no, no.
200
00:14:28,249 --> 00:14:29,919
This-this-this isn't good
for either of us, Gene.
201
00:14:29,986 --> 00:14:33,861
We have to go back to my office
and work through this together
202
00:14:33,928 --> 00:14:35,463
before this gets
more out of hand.
203
00:14:35,531 --> 00:14:38,871
These are leftovers from Maruti,
which is one of my favorites.
204
00:14:38,937 --> 00:14:40,674
It's surprisingly good
for breakfast.
205
00:14:40,741 --> 00:14:42,244
This is chana palak.
206
00:14:42,311 --> 00:14:43,446
Put some of this on it.
207
00:14:43,512 --> 00:14:46,118
This is sabzi.
It's good with this one.
208
00:14:46,184 --> 00:14:48,089
For God's sake, Gene, Gene!
209
00:14:48,156 --> 00:14:49,424
My name's...
210
00:14:50,828 --> 00:14:52,965
My name's actually Sam.
211
00:14:57,440 --> 00:14:58,610
Sorry.
212
00:15:01,850 --> 00:15:03,987
It's important to eat.
213
00:15:04,756 --> 00:15:06,593
I'm not gonna eat.
214
00:15:06,660 --> 00:15:08,395
Gene-- Sam.
215
00:15:10,099 --> 00:15:12,504
You have to listen to me.
216
00:15:12,571 --> 00:15:13,640
I am listening.
217
00:15:13,707 --> 00:15:15,712
I am listening.
I know how to listen.
218
00:15:15,778 --> 00:15:17,514
I understand...
219
00:15:18,283 --> 00:15:20,387
...this is upsetting for you.
220
00:15:20,454 --> 00:15:21,221
I get that.
221
00:15:21,288 --> 00:15:23,426
It's a little scary,
222
00:15:23,492 --> 00:15:26,231
but this is the only way
that I could... I...
223
00:15:27,668 --> 00:15:29,438
I need help. I want help.
224
00:15:29,505 --> 00:15:32,612
I'm asking you for, for help.
225
00:15:32,679 --> 00:15:34,916
You said therapy can't work
if I'm not truthful.
226
00:15:34,983 --> 00:15:36,118
I know that you're right, so...
227
00:15:36,185 --> 00:15:37,955
Mm-mm. No.
No, you don't understand.
228
00:15:38,022 --> 00:15:40,561
I don't, I don't think you know
what you're doing to me.
229
00:15:40,627 --> 00:15:42,431
I realize it might take you
a little time
230
00:15:42,497 --> 00:15:43,700
to get used
to what's happening here.
231
00:15:43,767 --> 00:15:45,203
Whatever is troubling you,
232
00:15:45,269 --> 00:15:47,575
we can address it, but not here.
233
00:15:47,642 --> 00:15:49,780
-Not like this.
-Dr. Strauss, I have
much bigger problems
234
00:15:49,846 --> 00:15:51,348
than your other patients.
235
00:15:53,152 --> 00:15:55,591
I have a compulsion...
236
00:15:57,361 --> 00:15:59,130
...to kill people.
237
00:16:04,174 --> 00:16:06,044
A compulsion?
238
00:16:08,116 --> 00:16:09,585
Yeah, I do it.
239
00:16:15,598 --> 00:16:18,502
-Sam...
-I don't mean
just once or twice.
240
00:16:19,839 --> 00:16:22,043
Every once in a while I just...
241
00:16:22,911 --> 00:16:24,347
...do it.
242
00:16:26,786 --> 00:16:28,857
And this has gone on ever since,
243
00:16:28,924 --> 00:16:31,696
uh, for a long time.
244
00:16:32,463 --> 00:16:34,969
And I know I'm fucked up.
245
00:16:35,036 --> 00:16:37,007
I've read all the books,
246
00:16:37,073 --> 00:16:40,180
almost everything about,
uh, people like me,
247
00:16:40,247 --> 00:16:42,685
people who do this stuff,
and I can't...
248
00:16:45,724 --> 00:16:47,194
I want to stop.
249
00:16:47,261 --> 00:16:49,966
And I'm trying so hard.
250
00:16:50,033 --> 00:16:51,569
I'm trying so hard right now,
251
00:16:51,636 --> 00:16:53,273
but there's this guy,
there's this one guy,
252
00:16:53,339 --> 00:16:54,742
and I just want to...
253
00:16:54,809 --> 00:16:57,146
for months now...
254
00:16:58,015 --> 00:16:59,517
Uh, but I've not done it.
255
00:17:00,287 --> 00:17:01,623
'Cause I...
256
00:17:03,359 --> 00:17:04,663
Uh, because I can't.
257
00:17:04,729 --> 00:17:05,731
Now, you, I wish you knew
258
00:17:05,798 --> 00:17:07,367
what it was like
to live like this.
259
00:17:07,433 --> 00:17:09,138
It's not like what they say.
260
00:17:09,204 --> 00:17:10,775
Right? Where he's like a...
261
00:17:11,543 --> 00:17:13,513
Have you seen
Silence of the Lambs?
262
00:17:13,581 --> 00:17:16,151
Where he's like a robot.
(clears throat)
263
00:17:16,218 --> 00:17:17,655
It's not like that.
264
00:17:19,491 --> 00:17:20,226
Gene.
265
00:17:20,293 --> 00:17:23,265
-Sam.
-Sam.
266
00:17:25,036 --> 00:17:26,606
Unlock this chain.
267
00:17:26,673 --> 00:17:29,177
I'm going to walk out of here
and go back to my office.
268
00:17:29,244 --> 00:17:30,814
No, we already tried that.
269
00:17:30,881 --> 00:17:32,684
It didn't work without me
telling you the truth.
270
00:17:32,751 --> 00:17:34,889
It will be different
now that I know the truth.
271
00:17:34,956 --> 00:17:37,962
You will come to my office
two, three days a week.
272
00:17:38,028 --> 00:17:40,033
I cannot help you like this.
273
00:17:40,099 --> 00:17:41,869
This is just going
to make it worse.
274
00:17:42,805 --> 00:17:43,774
Let me go.
275
00:17:43,840 --> 00:17:45,209
I know you'd have to turn me in.
276
00:17:45,276 --> 00:17:48,515
No, no, no, no, no.
I would not have to turn you in.
277
00:17:49,251 --> 00:17:50,855
Legally, ethically,
278
00:17:50,921 --> 00:17:53,693
unless you told me you were
going to commit another crime,
279
00:17:53,760 --> 00:17:55,296
I can work with you.
280
00:17:55,362 --> 00:17:57,802
Everything you've told me
so far is confidential.
281
00:17:57,868 --> 00:17:59,872
I am gonna commit another crime.
282
00:18:00,841 --> 00:18:02,911
(exhaling)
283
00:18:06,853 --> 00:18:08,957
I know I'm not normal.
284
00:18:09,024 --> 00:18:10,894
But I don't feel crazy.
285
00:18:11,863 --> 00:18:13,132
I'm not...
286
00:18:13,199 --> 00:18:14,936
(sighs)
287
00:18:15,003 --> 00:18:17,474
I know this has to end, right?
This has to stop.
288
00:18:17,541 --> 00:18:20,479
I just, I don't know how.
289
00:18:23,754 --> 00:18:25,222
This is not the way.
290
00:18:26,258 --> 00:18:27,628
Well...
291
00:18:28,362 --> 00:18:29,932
I'm sorry.
292
00:18:34,174 --> 00:18:35,911
Really, you're the best.
293
00:18:35,978 --> 00:18:39,317
I met with three different
Jewish therapists.
294
00:18:40,353 --> 00:18:42,023
I chose you.
295
00:18:42,090 --> 00:18:44,360
Uh-huh.
296
00:18:50,974 --> 00:18:53,245
♪♪ ♪♪
297
00:20:55,857 --> 00:20:58,295
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
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