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WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en
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foreign
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foreign
[Music]
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I<00:00:18.060> think<00:00:18.180> I<00:00:18.300> just<00:00:18.480> made<00:00:18.600> the<00:00:18.779> worst<00:00:18.960> mistake<00:00:19.260> of
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I think I just made the worst mistake of
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I think I just made the worst mistake of
my<00:00:19.560> life
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dear<00:00:30.840> diary
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dear diary
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dear diary
it's<00:00:32.399> been<00:00:32.640> two<00:00:32.820> weeks<00:00:33.059> since<00:00:33.180> I<00:00:33.420> ended<00:00:33.660> things
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it's been two weeks since I ended things
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it's been two weeks since I ended things
with<00:00:34.020> Betty
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with Betty
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with Betty
two<00:00:35.820> weeks<00:00:36.180> of<00:00:36.480> agonizing<00:00:37.140> over<00:00:37.320> every<00:00:37.680> memory
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two weeks of agonizing over every memory
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two weeks of agonizing over every memory
every<00:00:39.180> text
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every text
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every text
every<00:00:41.520> letter<00:00:41.700> she's<00:00:42.059> ever<00:00:42.239> sent<00:00:42.480> me
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oh<00:00:51.600> Betty
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oh Betty
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oh Betty
um you<00:00:52.800> dropped<00:00:53.160> this<00:00:53.280> uh<00:00:54.180> it's<00:00:54.360> for<00:00:54.539> you
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oh
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oh
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oh
um
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um
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um
you<00:01:00.059> want<00:01:00.180> me<00:01:00.300> to<00:01:00.359> open<00:01:00.420> it<00:01:00.600> now<00:01:00.719> I<00:01:00.840> can<00:01:00.960> open
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you want me to open it now I can open
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you want me to open it now I can open
now<00:01:01.260> or<00:01:01.440> later<00:01:01.559> because<00:01:01.739> I<00:01:01.920> don't<00:01:01.980> know<00:01:02.160> or
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now or later because I don't know or
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now or later because I don't know or
later<00:01:02.640> is<00:01:03.420> fine
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cool
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cool
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cool
cool
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ity
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ity
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ity
I'm<00:01:33.540> sorry<00:01:33.840> if<00:01:34.079> this<00:01:34.320> is<00:01:34.439> out<00:01:34.619> of<00:01:34.799> line<00:01:34.979> or<00:01:35.820> if
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I'm sorry if this is out of line or if
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I'm sorry if this is out of line or if
you<00:01:36.180> never<00:01:36.420> want<00:01:36.659> to<00:01:36.840> see<00:01:36.960> me<00:01:37.140> again<00:01:37.320> after
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you never want to see me again after
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you never want to see me again after
reading<00:01:38.040> this<00:01:38.159> but<00:01:38.520> I<00:01:38.820> can't<00:01:39.000> keep<00:01:39.240> pretending
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reading this but I can't keep pretending
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reading this but I can't keep pretending
that<00:01:40.079> I<00:01:40.320> don't<00:01:40.500> see<00:01:40.740> you<00:01:40.920> in<00:01:41.100> a<00:01:41.220> way<00:01:41.340> that<00:01:41.520> I
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that I don't see you in a way that I
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that I don't see you in a way that I
shouldn't<00:01:42.119> I<00:01:42.780> can't<00:01:43.140> keep<00:01:43.320> pretending<00:01:43.920> that<00:01:44.640> I
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shouldn't I can't keep pretending that I
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shouldn't I can't keep pretending that I
don't<00:01:45.119> want<00:01:45.360> to<00:01:45.479> kiss<00:01:45.720> you<00:01:45.960> every<00:01:46.500> time<00:01:46.799> you
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don't want to kiss you every time you
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don't want to kiss you every time you
get<00:01:47.280> flustered<00:01:48.000> and<00:01:48.479> ramble<00:01:48.899> on<00:01:49.079> about<00:01:49.259> things
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get flustered and ramble on about things
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get flustered and ramble on about things
that<00:01:49.799> make<00:01:49.920> zero<00:01:50.460> sense<00:01:50.899> I<00:01:51.899> don't<00:01:52.200> want<00:01:52.380> to
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that make zero sense I don't want to
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that make zero sense I don't want to
have<00:01:52.680> to<00:01:52.860> pretend<00:01:53.220> anymore
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have to pretend anymore
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have to pretend anymore
I'm<00:01:55.259> only<00:01:55.500> telling<00:01:55.979> you<00:01:56.100> this<00:01:56.460> in<00:01:57.000> case<00:01:57.180> maybe
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I'm only telling you this in case maybe
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I'm only telling you this in case maybe
just<00:01:58.619> just<00:01:58.920> maybe<00:01:59.520> you<00:01:59.820> feel<00:02:00.000> the<00:02:00.240> same<00:02:00.420> way
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just just maybe you feel the same way
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just just maybe you feel the same way
mortifying<00:02:03.000> if<00:02:03.119> you<00:02:03.299> don't
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mortifying if you don't
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mortifying if you don't
anyway<00:02:05.159> I'll<00:02:05.759> be<00:02:05.939> at<00:02:06.060> the<00:02:06.240> shore<00:02:06.420> if<00:02:06.659> you<00:02:06.840> want
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anyway I'll be at the shore if you want
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anyway I'll be at the shore if you want
to<00:02:07.020> come<00:02:07.079> and<00:02:07.259> yell<00:02:07.380> at<00:02:07.560> me<00:02:07.680> for<00:02:07.860> writing<00:02:08.220> this
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to come and yell at me for writing this
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to come and yell at me for writing this
or<00:02:08.819> or<00:02:09.360> kiss<00:02:09.899> me<00:02:10.140> or<00:02:10.619> I<00:02:11.520> I<00:02:11.700> don't<00:02:11.940> I<00:02:12.180> don't<00:02:12.300> know
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or or kiss me or I I don't I don't know
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or or kiss me or I I don't I don't know
I'll<00:02:12.780> be<00:02:13.020> there
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I'll be there
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I'll be there
I hope<00:02:14.340> you'll<00:02:14.520> be<00:02:14.700> there<00:02:14.879> too
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I hope you'll be there too
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I hope you'll be there too
you<00:02:16.800> know<00:02:16.860> it<00:02:16.980> really<00:02:17.160> sucks<00:02:17.400> diary<00:02:17.940> because
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you know it really sucks diary because
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you know it really sucks diary because
everything<00:02:19.260> makes<00:02:19.620> me<00:02:19.800> think<00:02:19.980> of<00:02:20.099> her
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everything makes me think of her
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everything makes me think of her
I<00:02:21.420> had<00:02:21.540> to<00:02:21.599> burn<00:02:21.780> one<00:02:22.020> of<00:02:22.140> my<00:02:22.200> best<00:02:22.319> dresses
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I had to burn one of my best dresses
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I had to burn one of my best dresses
because<00:02:22.980> whenever<00:02:23.340> I<00:02:23.520> looked<00:02:23.760> at<00:02:23.819> it
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because whenever I looked at it
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because whenever I looked at it
reminded<00:02:25.379> me<00:02:25.500> when<00:02:25.680> she<00:02:25.860> told<00:02:26.040> me<00:02:26.160> she'd<00:02:26.459> never
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reminded me when she told me she'd never
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reminded me when she told me she'd never
seen<00:02:26.819> someone<00:02:27.000> look<00:02:27.239> so<00:02:27.480> pretty<00:02:27.660> in<00:02:27.900> the<00:02:28.020> color
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seen someone look so pretty in the color
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seen someone look so pretty in the color
pink
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Anna<00:02:31.379> told<00:02:31.440> me<00:02:31.560> I<00:02:31.680> had<00:02:31.800> to<00:02:31.860> leave<00:02:31.980> my<00:02:32.160> bedroom
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Anna told me I had to leave my bedroom
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Anna told me I had to leave my bedroom
because<00:02:32.700> we<00:02:32.940> were<00:02:33.060> nearing<00:02:33.420> my<00:02:33.599> 15th<00:02:34.080> day<00:02:34.200> of
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because we were nearing my 15th day of
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because we were nearing my 15th day of
only<00:02:34.620> leaving<00:02:34.860> my<00:02:35.160> room<00:02:35.340> for<00:02:35.580> dinner<00:02:35.760> in
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only leaving my room for dinner in
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only leaving my room for dinner in
church
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church
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church
of<00:02:37.920> course<00:02:38.099> he<00:02:38.220> didn't<00:02:38.400> know<00:02:38.519> why<00:02:38.640> I<00:02:38.819> was<00:02:38.879> so
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of course he didn't know why I was so
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of course he didn't know why I was so
upset
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upset
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upset
he'd<00:02:41.340> kill<00:02:41.519> me<00:02:41.700> if<00:02:41.819> he<00:02:42.000> did
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he'd kill me if he did
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he'd kill me if he did
fill<00:02:44.220> in<00:02:44.400> our<00:02:44.580> town<00:02:44.760> said<00:02:45.060> he's<00:02:45.239> the<00:02:45.420> best<00:02:45.540> the
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fill in our town said he's the best the
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fill in our town said he's the best the
church<00:02:45.900> has<00:02:46.080> had<00:02:46.260> in<00:02:46.440> decades<00:02:46.819> I<00:02:47.819> didn't
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church has had in decades I didn't
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church has had in decades I didn't
believe<00:02:48.120> it<00:02:48.300> how<00:02:48.959> can<00:02:49.140> you<00:02:49.260> preach<00:02:49.500> about<00:02:49.620> an
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believe it how can you preach about an
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believe it how can you preach about an
olive<00:02:50.220> and<00:02:50.519> God<00:02:50.720> really<00:02:51.720> isn't<00:02:52.200> that<00:02:52.319> all
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olive and God really isn't that all
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olive and God really isn't that all
loving
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the<00:02:55.920> beach<00:02:56.640> is<00:02:57.180> what<00:02:57.360> reminded<00:02:57.720> me<00:02:57.780> ever<00:02:57.900> the
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the beach is what reminded me ever the
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the beach is what reminded me ever the
most
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most
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most
she<00:02:59.340> used<00:02:59.519> to<00:02:59.640> say<00:02:59.700> that<00:02:59.819> it<00:02:59.940> was<00:03:00.060> the<00:03:00.180> only
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she used to say that it was the only
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she used to say that it was the only
thing<00:03:00.420> that<00:03:00.540> felt<00:03:00.840> like<00:03:00.959> home
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thing that felt like home
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thing that felt like home
that<00:03:01.980> he<00:03:02.220> was<00:03:02.280> from<00:03:02.459> California<00:03:02.640> and<00:03:03.000> moved
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that he was from California and moved
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that he was from California and moved
here<00:03:03.360> last<00:03:03.599> year<00:03:03.720> because<00:03:03.900> her<00:03:04.080> mom<00:03:04.200> got<00:03:04.379> some
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here last year because her mom got some
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here last year because her mom got some
real<00:03:04.739> estate<00:03:04.920> job
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real estate job
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real estate job
she<00:03:06.840> kissed<00:03:07.140> me<00:03:07.200> here<00:03:07.379> you<00:03:08.280> know<00:03:08.340> for<00:03:08.519> the
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she kissed me here you know for the
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she kissed me here you know for the
first<00:03:08.819> time
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first time
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first time
I<00:03:10.200> guess<00:03:10.260> I<00:03:10.440> kissed<00:03:10.739> her<00:03:10.800> but
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I guess I kissed her but
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I guess I kissed her but
it<00:03:12.120> doesn't<00:03:12.300> really<00:03:12.480> matter
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I<00:03:36.180> was<00:03:36.360> always<00:03:36.540> so<00:03:36.840> afraid
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I was always so afraid
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I was always so afraid
afraid<00:03:39.000> someone<00:03:39.420> would<00:03:39.720> see<00:03:39.900> afraid<00:03:40.319> of<00:03:40.440> what
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afraid someone would see afraid of what
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afraid someone would see afraid of what
people<00:03:40.680> would<00:03:40.980> think<00:03:41.640> afraid<00:03:42.180> that
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people would think afraid that
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people would think afraid that
maybe<00:03:43.739> the<00:03:44.040> church<00:03:44.159> was<00:03:44.340> right
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but<00:03:52.799> they<00:03:53.040> must<00:03:53.159> have<00:03:53.340> been<00:03:53.519> wrong
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but they must have been wrong
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but they must have been wrong
because<00:03:55.200> this<00:03:55.500> felt<00:03:55.920> so<00:03:56.159> right
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because this felt so right
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because this felt so right
stumble<00:03:59.040> your<00:03:59.159> eyes<00:03:59.340> there's<00:03:59.640> bad<00:03:59.939> at<00:04:00.180> it
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you<00:04:05.580> can<00:04:05.700> go<00:04:05.879> out
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oh
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foreign
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[Applause]
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it's<00:04:26.460> fine
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it's fine
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it's fine
that<00:04:29.040> fear<00:04:29.340> is<00:04:29.400> what<00:04:29.580> led<00:04:29.759> me<00:04:29.820> to<00:04:29.940> her<00:04:30.060> doorstep
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that fear is what led me to her doorstep
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that fear is what led me to her doorstep
that's<00:04:31.500> what<00:04:31.740> made<00:04:31.979> me<00:04:32.040> do<00:04:32.220> it<00:04:32.340> was<00:04:32.460> maybe<00:04:32.639> the
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that's what made me do it was maybe the
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that's what made me do it was maybe the
stupidest<00:04:33.360> thing<00:04:33.479> I'd<00:04:33.660> ever<00:04:33.780> done
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I'm<00:04:38.639> really<00:04:38.820> sorry<00:04:39.180> please<00:04:39.720> don't<00:04:40.080> do<00:04:40.380> this
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really<00:04:43.320> sorry
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[Music]
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[Music]
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[Music]
but<00:04:50.340> diary<00:04:50.820> as<00:04:51.300> I'm<00:04:51.479> writing<00:04:51.840> this<00:04:51.900> I'm
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but diary as I'm writing this I'm
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but diary as I'm writing this I'm
realizing<00:04:52.500> that<00:04:52.740> I'm<00:04:53.100> just<00:04:53.280> running<00:04:53.460> away
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realizing that I'm just running away
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realizing that I'm just running away
I'm<00:04:54.900> running<00:04:55.020> from<00:04:55.259> something<00:04:55.440> real
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I'm running from something real
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I'm running from something real
something<00:04:56.100> good<00:04:56.400> and
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something good and
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something good and
I don't<00:04:57.900> think<00:04:58.020> that<00:04:58.139> I'm<00:04:58.259> willing<00:04:58.500> to<00:04:58.620> give
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I don't think that I'm willing to give
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I don't think that I'm willing to give
it<00:04:58.919> up
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[Music]
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look<00:05:18.000> I<00:05:18.419> know<00:05:18.539> what<00:05:18.780> I<00:05:18.960> did<00:05:19.139> was<00:05:19.740> dumb<00:05:20.039> and
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look I know what I did was dumb and
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look I know what I did was dumb and
stupid<00:05:20.940> but<00:05:21.360> I<00:05:22.080> was<00:05:22.199> just<00:05:22.320> scared<00:05:22.680> you<00:05:23.220> know
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stupid but I was just scared you know
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stupid but I was just scared you know
you know<00:05:25.380> but<00:05:25.560> you're<00:05:25.740> like<00:05:25.860> the<00:05:25.979> best<00:05:26.100> person
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you know but you're like the best person
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you know but you're like the best person
I've<00:05:26.520> ever<00:05:26.639> met<00:05:26.940> I'd<00:05:27.479> be<00:05:27.660> like<00:05:27.720> if<00:05:27.840> you<00:05:28.020> ever
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I've ever met I'd be like if you ever
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I've ever met I'd be like if you ever
talk<00:05:28.320> to<00:05:28.500> me<00:05:28.620> again<00:05:28.740> but<00:05:29.280> I<00:05:29.400> just<00:05:29.520> wanted<00:05:29.639> to
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talk to me again but I just wanted to
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talk to me again but I just wanted to
tell<00:05:30.000> you<00:05:30.120> that<00:05:30.360> I'm<00:05:30.539> not<00:05:30.860> scared<00:05:31.860> anymore
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and<00:05:36.000> I<00:05:36.180> love<00:05:36.300> you
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cool<00:05:44.340> this<00:05:44.820> is<00:05:44.940> awkward<00:05:45.240> and<00:05:45.960> embarrassing<00:05:46.440> so
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cool this is awkward and embarrassing so
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cool this is awkward and embarrassing so
I'm<00:05:46.800> just<00:05:46.919> gonna
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and<00:05:57.720> guess<00:05:57.900> what<00:05:58.080> diary
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and guess what diary
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and guess what diary
that<00:06:00.180> was<00:06:00.300> the<00:06:00.419> first<00:06:00.600> time<00:06:00.780> I<00:06:00.900> didn't<00:06:01.020> look<00:06:01.259> to
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that was the first time I didn't look to
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that was the first time I didn't look to
see<00:06:01.620> if<00:06:01.740> people<00:06:01.919> were<00:06:02.160> watching
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I don't<00:06:05.880> care
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[Music]
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foreign
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foreign
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foreign
[Music]
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foreign
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[Music]
30000
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