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♪ ♪
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00:00:02,481 --> 00:00:04,385
BRAN:
The sun may have just set,
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00:00:04,418 --> 00:00:06,322
but we're just getting started.
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00:00:06,356 --> 00:00:08,628
Which is fitting because we are
in the city that never sleeps.
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00:00:08,661 --> 00:00:11,567
Although, Toby here could use
a little more beauty sleep.
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00:00:11,600 --> 00:00:13,169
-Ouch, Bran.
-What?
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Uh, we're twins, remember?
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Hey, brothers.
Can't live with 'em...
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Uh, I think you forgot to say,
"Can't live without 'em."
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-Who says I forgot?
-Uh-oh.
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00:00:21,352 --> 00:00:23,223
Anyway, Bran and I
have seen the worst...
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00:00:23,256 --> 00:00:25,127
-Of the worst...
-...of home disasters,
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00:00:25,160 --> 00:00:27,499
but today, we are here
in Staten Island...
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♪ New York. ♪
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-♪ ♪
-(hammering)
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-I'm Bran Daltry.
-And I'm Toby Daltry.
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-And we're...
-BOTH: The Daltry Brothers.
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00:00:41,292 --> 00:00:44,666
-And this is...
-BOTH: Go Flip Yourself.
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("Make You a Believer"
by Jez Pike playing)
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BRAN:
I'm Bran,
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00:00:49,676 --> 00:00:51,614
and this knucklehead over here
is my brother Toby.
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TOBY:
Hey.
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Now, we may not get along
all the time,
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00:00:54,720 --> 00:00:56,489
but one thing we do agree on
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00:00:56,523 --> 00:00:59,563
is turning people's
dream homes into reality.
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-♪ I'll make you a believer... ♪
-(crying)
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♪ Get off your knees ♪
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♪ You've got the power
of being ♪
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♪ What you want to be ♪
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♪ Make you a believer ♪
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(whistling)
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(thud)
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NARRATOR:
Staten Island, New York.
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Home to the world famous
Staten Island Ferry,
35
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a blossoming real estate market,
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and the Daltry Brothers'
toughest challenge yet.
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(whistles) Yikes, what a mess.
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Hey, don't be so hard
on yourself, you knucklehead.
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Bran, I was talking
about the house.
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Take a look.
You got crumbling statues.
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-BRAN: I see them.
-TOBY: You got overgrown lawn,
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-and... (sniffs)
-BRAN: Mm-hmm.
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What am I smelling?
Is that sulfur?
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Yeah, I'm getting notes
of, uh... (sniffs)
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...decomposing animals.
Pee-yew-y.
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Yeah, I think someone should
call an exterminator, too.
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Hey, it's nothing a little
brotherly love can't fix,
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-so...
-BOTH: Whoa.
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-Look out. Wow.
-What is that?
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That is a big bone.
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Yeah, I hope the big dog
that buried this one
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-is a friendly fella.
-(barking)
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Now, the owners
of this house have
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00:02:05,895 --> 00:02:07,431
-no idea that we're here.
-Doesn't matter.
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They were told to keep
the door unlocked,
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00:02:09,836 --> 00:02:12,141
so that the "power company"
could "check the meter."
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And y'all know what that means.
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BOTH:
It's ambush time!
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-Come on.
-(cackling)
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Okay.
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Who's ready to get down
and dirty
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00:02:21,860 --> 00:02:23,631
and a little bit flirty?
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What the (bleep)?
(bleep) (bleep)
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-Am I on Go Flip Yourself?
-Yes, you are.
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(laughs)
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My name's Laszlo.
I'm such a fan.
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-My name's Bran. Ah.
-I know who you are.
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-Initially, the twins aspect...
-Mm-hmm. Yeah.
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-...confused me slightly.
-It does a lot of people.
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00:02:37,391 --> 00:02:39,362
-And then I watched
three seasons... -Yeah?
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...and then I realized that, uh,
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-you're both very different.
-Sure.
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In posture and personality.
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BRAN:
We need to fix this house.
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LASZLO:
Tell me about it. I sent my tape in months ago.
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NARRATOR:
Bran and Toby certainly have
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00:02:49,482 --> 00:02:51,252
their hands full with the
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00:02:51,285 --> 00:02:54,826
quirky owners and decor
of this mixed-up mansion.
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00:02:54,860 --> 00:02:58,601
All right, guys, so little bit
of a hiccup out the gates.
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00:02:58,634 --> 00:03:00,571
My brother Toby's
a little under the weather,
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00:03:00,605 --> 00:03:02,341
so he's gonna sit this one out.
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00:03:02,374 --> 00:03:04,679
I mean, typical Toby, right?
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00:03:04,713 --> 00:03:07,351
Leaving all the hard work
for this guy to do.
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00:03:07,384 --> 00:03:10,323
But when they saw
how down we were
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00:03:10,357 --> 00:03:11,960
about Toby taking a sick day,
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00:03:11,994 --> 00:03:13,531
the owners of this house--
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00:03:13,564 --> 00:03:14,733
and I'm just gonna
say this about them--
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they are very spiritual people.
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00:03:17,371 --> 00:03:20,377
They led me and the whole crew
on a very special
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00:03:20,410 --> 00:03:23,851
guided meditation, you know,
just to re-center us.
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00:03:23,884 --> 00:03:26,824
And you will forget
that Toby is dead,
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00:03:26,857 --> 00:03:29,228
and that he was murdered by me.
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00:03:29,261 --> 00:03:31,365
A girl has got to eat.
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00:03:31,399 --> 00:03:32,902
And, instead, you will think
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that he is just
temporarily sick. (vocalizes)
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Hashtag it worked.
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00:03:38,279 --> 00:03:39,649
So, now... (chuckles)
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00:03:39,683 --> 00:03:41,587
...we got to get back
to the task at hand,
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00:03:41,620 --> 00:03:43,824
and, oh, boy, it's a doozy.
100
00:03:43,858 --> 00:03:46,663
Plus, we just want Toby
to be proud of this episode
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00:03:46,697 --> 00:03:49,703
when he sees it, after
he shakes off the mild flu.
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00:03:51,439 --> 00:03:53,243
NARRATOR:
When the owners first saw this
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00:03:53,276 --> 00:03:55,782
8,474-square-foot home,
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00:03:55,815 --> 00:03:57,886
it was love at first sight.
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And that was so long ago,
they say
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00:04:00,591 --> 00:04:02,428
they can't even remember
when they first moved in.
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00:04:02,461 --> 00:04:04,833
But since then,
things have changed.
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00:04:04,866 --> 00:04:07,572
Railroad employee
and part-time graphic designer,
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-Laszlo...
-I wish I could get this
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printer to work.
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00:04:11,547 --> 00:04:13,483
NARRATOR:
...hates living in this dated house
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00:04:13,517 --> 00:04:15,588
that lacks adequate storage
space for him and his nephew
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-Colin.
-(laughs) Bang!
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What have I told you
about touching my hat?
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00:04:19,796 --> 00:04:21,265
-Pow!
-LASZLO: To be blunt,
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00:04:21,299 --> 00:04:22,735
this house is a (bleep)hole.
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And I think only
Bran and Toby are capable
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00:04:24,673 --> 00:04:26,844
of helping us
"embrace our space."
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-Go on, bugger off.
-LASZLO: To quote the brothers themselves,
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from episode 113,
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"Midcentury Mess,"
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"This house is all kinds of
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Frank Lloyd Wrong."
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(laughs)
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00:04:39,636 --> 00:04:41,907
NARRATOR:
Nandor and Marwa are newlyweds
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00:04:41,940 --> 00:04:43,677
with a passion for cooking,
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00:04:43,711 --> 00:04:45,013
but without enough space
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00:04:45,046 --> 00:04:46,717
-in their cramped kitchen.
-Sorry.
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00:04:46,750 --> 00:04:48,954
And they can't seem
to agree on how to make
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00:04:48,988 --> 00:04:51,359
their master bedroom
their happily ever after.
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00:04:51,392 --> 00:04:54,398
So, yes, we are
technically newlyweds,
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00:04:54,431 --> 00:04:57,572
but it feels like we've
been together forever.
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I would describe my style
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as French country
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00:05:01,747 --> 00:05:02,782
meets shabby chic.
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00:05:02,816 --> 00:05:05,487
And I would describe my style
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00:05:05,521 --> 00:05:07,959
as French country
meets shabby chic.
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00:05:07,992 --> 00:05:09,663
But I also like modern.
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00:05:09,696 --> 00:05:11,767
I like to have an indoor sink,
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00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:13,571
a floor that is not dirt.
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00:05:13,604 --> 00:05:15,875
Me, too. I like everything
that he likes.
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00:05:15,908 --> 00:05:17,512
So, if he says that
we need a change...
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00:05:17,545 --> 00:05:19,415
Change is not always
a good thing.
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00:05:19,448 --> 00:05:21,419
I mean, sometimes,
you make too many changes,
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00:05:21,452 --> 00:05:22,822
and then, before you know it,
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00:05:22,856 --> 00:05:24,593
you realize what
you thought you wanted
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00:05:24,626 --> 00:05:26,697
is, in fact, very annoying.
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00:05:26,730 --> 00:05:28,868
NARRATOR:
Guillermo and Nadja have their hands full
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running a successful nightclub,
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00:05:30,571 --> 00:05:32,407
and when they come home
to these cramped
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00:05:32,441 --> 00:05:34,613
-living quarters...
-Where is the (bleep) thing?
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00:05:34,646 --> 00:05:36,850
NARRATOR:
...tensions can run hot.
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00:05:36,884 --> 00:05:38,754
The thingy-thing. The thing
that controls... (stammers)
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00:05:38,787 --> 00:05:40,791
-...the heat at the nightclub.
-GUILLERMO: A thermostat key.
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00:05:40,825 --> 00:05:41,994
-Right?
-NADJA: Yes.
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It's on a chain
around your neck.
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Nice try.
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00:05:46,537 --> 00:05:47,839
(clears throat)
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00:05:47,872 --> 00:05:50,010
-Whew, this is a big house.
-Yeah.
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00:05:50,043 --> 00:05:52,481
Okay, guys, let's talk about
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00:05:52,515 --> 00:05:54,853
design options
within your budget.
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-Great.
-Now, here's the question:
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00:05:56,590 --> 00:05:58,627
How much are you guys
comfortable spending
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00:05:58,661 --> 00:06:00,397
in order to give
this old house a...
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00:06:00,430 --> 00:06:01,900
(whistles)
...facelift?
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00:06:01,934 --> 00:06:03,804
All of it.
All our life's savings.
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00:06:03,837 --> 00:06:06,442
-Whatever you need,
you knucklehead. -You're the knucklehead.
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00:06:06,475 --> 00:06:08,446
-You're the (bleep) knucklehead.
-Who you calling a knucklehead?
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00:06:08,479 --> 00:06:10,651
-(laughs)
-Look at this. (laughs)
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-Where'd you get that shirt?
-What?
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00:06:12,522 --> 00:06:13,524
Where-Where'd you get
your shirt?
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From a shop. (bleep) off.
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BRAN:
Okay, we're getting a little off track here.
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Let's focus, guys,
'cause, clearly,
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00:06:18,601 --> 00:06:20,538
this living room
is not working for anyone.
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00:06:20,571 --> 00:06:22,742
What the (bleep) is that
supposed to mean? Some of us
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happen to like
waterlogged mahogany
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and soaking wet pillows
that smell of cheese
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-and moldy stuffed bears.
Thank you. -BRAN: Yeah...
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00:06:28,520 --> 00:06:30,491
Clearly, we're not nuts
about the full-size tree
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00:06:30,524 --> 00:06:32,160
that fell through
the wall. (chuckles)
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00:06:32,194 --> 00:06:33,864
Left a gigantic hole
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00:06:33,898 --> 00:06:35,735
where raccoons and squirrels
can just come and go
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00:06:35,768 --> 00:06:37,639
and nest in our furniture, so...
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00:06:37,672 --> 00:06:38,941
I don't know, I don't mind it.
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00:06:38,974 --> 00:06:40,878
As you can see, I
gave that a bit of a trim
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using the Milwaukee M18 Fuel
Lithium-Ion chainsaw,
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00:06:43,651 --> 00:06:45,554
used in your commercials.
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00:06:45,588 --> 00:06:49,161
"Milwaukee,
nothing but heavy duty."
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00:06:49,194 --> 00:06:50,831
(clicks tongue)
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00:06:50,865 --> 00:06:53,069
Home renovations can be
an emotional process.
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00:06:53,102 --> 00:06:55,875
-Let's do it.
-BRAN: Now, I have to convince the owners that
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00:06:55,908 --> 00:06:58,747
we're not here to destroy
their memories,
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00:06:58,781 --> 00:07:00,551
we're here to help them
make new ones.
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00:07:00,584 --> 00:07:02,154
♪ ♪
196
00:07:07,799 --> 00:07:09,669
Okay
197
00:07:09,703 --> 00:07:12,575
And, boom, we knock out
all the walls.
198
00:07:12,609 --> 00:07:15,113
Make an open concept
first floor.
199
00:07:15,146 --> 00:07:17,952
It's gonna create much better
flow and, most importantly,
200
00:07:17,986 --> 00:07:19,889
it's gonna bring in tons
of natural light.
201
00:07:19,923 --> 00:07:21,526
-I love it, it's perfect.
-BRAN: Thank you.
202
00:07:21,560 --> 00:07:23,463
-I don't think that's perfect.
-BRAN: And...
203
00:07:23,497 --> 00:07:25,768
we can also get rid of this
dated and awkward storage
204
00:07:25,801 --> 00:07:28,239
and replace it
with a master
205
00:07:28,272 --> 00:07:31,613
his-and-hers mega-closet. Yeah.
206
00:07:31,647 --> 00:07:33,584
-Fantastic.
-With custom shelves
207
00:07:33,617 --> 00:07:35,220
for all of Nadja's shoes
and her doll.
208
00:07:35,253 --> 00:07:37,759
Plus, a dedicated hat wall
209
00:07:37,792 --> 00:07:39,596
with hat racks for all
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00:07:39,629 --> 00:07:40,798
of Laszlo's dope hats.
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00:07:40,831 --> 00:07:43,504
That cannot be our house.
212
00:07:43,537 --> 00:07:46,075
You're right,
that cannot be our house.
213
00:07:46,108 --> 00:07:47,712
-This fella is the knackers.
-Thank you.
214
00:07:47,745 --> 00:07:49,616
Now, let's talk about
that unfinished attic.
215
00:07:49,649 --> 00:07:51,820
I think we should reimagine it
216
00:07:51,853 --> 00:07:54,492
as a spacious master suite
217
00:07:54,526 --> 00:07:56,763
slash love nest
for Nandor and Marwa.
218
00:07:56,797 --> 00:07:59,736
It doesn't matter how many
changes you make to something.
219
00:07:59,769 --> 00:08:01,773
-The novelty
eventually wears off. -Mm.
220
00:08:01,807 --> 00:08:03,844
-I agree with my husband.
-(sighs)
221
00:08:03,877 --> 00:08:05,514
NANDOR:
But I do like
222
00:08:05,548 --> 00:08:08,252
that sign about home
being where the wine is.
223
00:08:08,286 --> 00:08:10,123
-Okay. There is another option.
-MARWA: Me, too.
224
00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:11,593
In this option,
225
00:08:11,626 --> 00:08:13,196
you can keep
your current bedroom...
226
00:08:13,229 --> 00:08:15,768
-NANDOR: Mm.
-...and we reimagine the attic
227
00:08:15,801 --> 00:08:17,905
as a dedicated
"man cave" for Nandor.
228
00:08:17,939 --> 00:08:19,241
-Man cave?
-BRAN: Yeah.
229
00:08:19,274 --> 00:08:20,745
NANDOR:
What is a man cave?
230
00:08:20,778 --> 00:08:22,280
Man cave is where
you do your man stuff.
231
00:08:22,314 --> 00:08:25,654
So, there are no women allowed
in this man cave?
232
00:08:25,688 --> 00:08:26,990
Hey, it's your space up there,
233
00:08:27,024 --> 00:08:28,694
-you do with it what you please.
-Great.
234
00:08:28,727 --> 00:08:31,098
Guess what?
I hate all of that. That attic
235
00:08:31,132 --> 00:08:33,637
is full of very precious,
treasured memories
236
00:08:33,670 --> 00:08:35,273
of us putting all
of our trash up there.
237
00:08:35,306 --> 00:08:38,012
Also, we do not need
a wall of hat hooks.
238
00:08:38,046 --> 00:08:41,653
Laszlo only has one hat,
and it's bloody cursed!
239
00:08:41,686 --> 00:08:43,824
Correction, my darling,
I have five hats.
240
00:08:43,857 --> 00:08:45,193
I have the one
she's referring to,
241
00:08:45,226 --> 00:08:46,897
which she doesn't like
for some unknown reason.
242
00:08:46,930 --> 00:08:48,934
-(groans)
-It's actually very cool. -I'm sure it is.
243
00:08:48,967 --> 00:08:51,205
It might be made out of witch
skin and has an asshole on it,
244
00:08:51,238 --> 00:08:53,142
but I look fantastic wearing it.
245
00:08:53,176 --> 00:08:55,113
And another is a yellow ballcap
246
00:08:55,146 --> 00:08:56,783
with the message across it,
247
00:08:56,817 --> 00:08:58,854
-"Absolut Aces..."
-Ooh, where'd you get that?
248
00:08:58,887 --> 00:09:01,727
...which was a gift
from the 2006 movie premiere
249
00:09:01,760 --> 00:09:03,162
of the movie
250
00:09:03,196 --> 00:09:04,866
-BOTH: Smokin' Aces.
-You know the film?
251
00:09:04,899 --> 00:09:06,803
-I love it. It's classic.
-Well, I've never worn it.
252
00:09:06,837 --> 00:09:09,241
Where you going, Nadja? I got
something special for you, too.
253
00:09:09,274 --> 00:09:11,847
Check this out.
No home would be complete
254
00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:14,853
without a serene master bath
fit for a queen.
255
00:09:14,886 --> 00:09:16,890
I don't care about any of this.
256
00:09:16,923 --> 00:09:19,228
Uh, do you care
about a gold toilet?
257
00:09:19,261 --> 00:09:20,965
Bang!
258
00:09:20,998 --> 00:09:23,102
(clears throat)
A gold toilet?
259
00:09:23,136 --> 00:09:24,672
Queen's got to have her throne,
am I right, guys?
260
00:09:24,706 --> 00:09:26,208
You can't even take a (bleep).
261
00:09:26,242 --> 00:09:28,279
I will take a (bleep)
if I want to take a (bleep).
262
00:09:28,312 --> 00:09:31,185
Stop trying to water down
my brand. (hisses)
263
00:09:31,218 --> 00:09:33,791
I've given the owners
a lot to think about.
264
00:09:33,824 --> 00:09:35,928
Now it's time to let them
talk it over.
265
00:09:37,197 --> 00:09:38,801
I really don't think
266
00:09:38,834 --> 00:09:40,336
this kind of public exposure
is good for us.
267
00:09:40,370 --> 00:09:41,940
I really think that
we should just let these guys
268
00:09:41,973 --> 00:09:43,009
paint a wall or two
and get them out of here.
269
00:09:43,042 --> 00:09:44,746
"These guys"?
270
00:09:44,779 --> 00:09:47,050
Bran and Toby are artisans.
They're craftspeople.
271
00:09:47,083 --> 00:09:48,854
Toby is dead, okay?
272
00:09:48,887 --> 00:09:50,991
And it's only a matter of time
before someone notices.
273
00:09:51,025 --> 00:09:52,227
No, are you not paying attention
274
00:09:52,260 --> 00:09:53,997
to my very
comprehensive hypnosis?
275
00:09:54,031 --> 00:09:56,202
And no one watching this footage
276
00:09:56,235 --> 00:09:58,674
will notice
that we are vampires.
277
00:09:58,707 --> 00:10:01,011
Not the editors,
278
00:10:01,045 --> 00:10:03,617
not the editors' assistants,
279
00:10:03,650 --> 00:10:05,988
not the sound mixers,
280
00:10:06,021 --> 00:10:08,192
not the, uh...
281
00:10:08,226 --> 00:10:10,363
Who else is there?
282
00:10:10,396 --> 00:10:12,969
Color correctors,
current executives,
283
00:10:13,002 --> 00:10:14,371
Standards & Practices
284
00:10:14,404 --> 00:10:16,208
occasionally looks
at a rough cut.
285
00:10:16,242 --> 00:10:18,981
A producer's girlfriend named
Wendy one time gave notes,
286
00:10:19,014 --> 00:10:21,152
and now she gives notes
on all the cuts.
287
00:10:21,185 --> 00:10:22,420
-Then there are...
-Okay, okay, I get it.
288
00:10:22,454 --> 00:10:25,694
Yes. All of those nerds, too.
289
00:10:25,728 --> 00:10:29,001
Also you will put the bit
that I am saying in now
290
00:10:29,034 --> 00:10:32,274
as a flashback and then
cut back to the main story
291
00:10:32,307 --> 00:10:35,380
of whatever else is going on.
292
00:10:35,413 --> 00:10:37,017
GUILLERMO:
I don't know.
293
00:10:37,050 --> 00:10:39,054
I have a really bad feeling
about this.
294
00:10:39,087 --> 00:10:42,194
Do you think home really
is "where the wine is"?
295
00:10:42,227 --> 00:10:44,799
I want it to be accurate
for my man cave.
296
00:10:44,833 --> 00:10:46,335
Yes, I agree.
297
00:10:46,368 --> 00:10:48,072
NANDOR:
There's a surprise.
298
00:10:48,105 --> 00:10:50,978
Now, I think we all know
what to do.
299
00:10:52,147 --> 00:10:55,019
All right, gang, you've had
time to think it over.
300
00:10:55,053 --> 00:10:57,057
And now it's decision time.
301
00:10:57,090 --> 00:10:59,762
Are you ready
to "embrace your space"?
302
00:10:59,796 --> 00:11:03,002
Or do you want to tell this
son of a B to "go flip off"?
303
00:11:06,776 --> 00:11:10,316
There's just no storage space
for me to do my business.
304
00:11:10,350 --> 00:11:13,389
Let me get this... Oh, sorry.
305
00:11:13,422 --> 00:11:16,796
A gold toilet?
306
00:11:16,830 --> 00:11:20,236
I have a really bad feeling
about this.
307
00:11:24,077 --> 00:11:25,714
Um...
308
00:11:25,748 --> 00:11:27,752
We've decided to...
309
00:11:29,321 --> 00:11:32,060
ALL THREE:
Embrace our space!
310
00:11:32,093 --> 00:11:33,864
Yes! That is music to my ears.
311
00:11:33,897 --> 00:11:36,035
I promise you're gonna
love this place
312
00:11:36,068 --> 00:11:37,838
so much more
when we're finished with it.
313
00:11:37,872 --> 00:11:39,107
And we're gonna
up your curb appeal
314
00:11:39,141 --> 00:11:40,844
by re-sodding the lawn
315
00:11:40,878 --> 00:11:42,347
and the backyard
316
00:11:42,380 --> 00:11:43,951
Oh, re-sodding, hey?
317
00:11:43,984 --> 00:11:45,921
Y-You're gonna dig
up the-the backyard?
318
00:11:45,955 --> 00:11:47,057
Yeah, I'm an expert
at landscaping.
319
00:11:47,090 --> 00:11:48,359
Meanwhile, my brother
320
00:11:48,392 --> 00:11:50,798
likes to spend his time
manscaping.
321
00:11:50,831 --> 00:11:52,902
-Boom!
-(laughter)
322
00:11:52,935 --> 00:11:55,240
I don't know what that means,
but (bleep) Toby, right?
323
00:11:55,273 --> 00:11:57,812
Yeah, he gets it. All right,
what are we doing standing
324
00:11:57,845 --> 00:12:00,918
around here? We've got
to get to... ♪ Work. ♪
325
00:12:00,951 --> 00:12:03,857
-Let's go!
-Hey! Get to work!
326
00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:06,395
This gang, they keep
some pretty unusual hours,
327
00:12:06,428 --> 00:12:08,934
working for the railroad
and owning the nightclub.
328
00:12:08,967 --> 00:12:12,173
So we're gonna pull some
all-nighters here, you betcha!
329
00:12:12,207 --> 00:12:14,111
Yeah!
330
00:12:14,144 --> 00:12:15,446
Guillermo, go for it!
331
00:12:15,480 --> 00:12:17,885
Yeah, love it!
332
00:12:17,919 --> 00:12:20,256
♪ Hear the thunder... ♪
333
00:12:20,290 --> 00:12:22,160
Yeah! Wow!
334
00:12:23,429 --> 00:12:24,933
♪ Hear the thunder ♪
335
00:12:24,966 --> 00:12:28,205
♪ Can you hear the thunder? ♪
336
00:12:28,239 --> 00:12:30,911
♪ Can you hear
the thunder? ♪
337
00:12:30,945 --> 00:12:32,848
♪ Gotta hold your head up ♪
338
00:12:32,882 --> 00:12:35,053
♪ Let it all explode ♪
339
00:12:35,086 --> 00:12:36,523
♪ Hear the thunder ♪
340
00:12:36,556 --> 00:12:38,192
♪ Yeah, the time is now ♪
341
00:12:38,225 --> 00:12:41,065
♪ Give it all you got ♪
342
00:12:41,098 --> 00:12:42,334
♪ Hear the thunder ♪
343
00:12:42,367 --> 00:12:45,006
♪ Until there's nothing left ♪
344
00:12:45,039 --> 00:12:47,812
♪ You've got
to let it all go now ♪
345
00:12:47,845 --> 00:12:50,016
♪ Hear the thunder. ♪
346
00:12:51,519 --> 00:12:53,991
-Hey!
-Bran!
347
00:12:54,024 --> 00:12:56,428
Wow, man cave
really coming together, huh?
348
00:12:56,462 --> 00:12:58,165
-Yes.
-I'm almost finished over here,
349
00:12:58,199 --> 00:12:59,802
then moving onto the door,
honey.
350
00:12:59,836 --> 00:13:00,871
Don't forget to put
the lock on it.
351
00:13:00,904 --> 00:13:02,007
You got it, honey.
352
00:13:02,040 --> 00:13:04,311
Uh, check out this bar.
353
00:13:04,344 --> 00:13:05,848
What?
354
00:13:05,881 --> 00:13:07,818
This is
an entertainer's dream.
355
00:13:07,852 --> 00:13:10,824
Nandor, I want you
to picture this right now, okay?
356
00:13:10,858 --> 00:13:12,060
The guys are over.
They're hanging out.
357
00:13:12,093 --> 00:13:13,429
-Okay, I am picturing it.
-Mm-hmm.
358
00:13:13,462 --> 00:13:15,366
I could be over here
at the bar counter.
359
00:13:15,400 --> 00:13:18,039
And then one of the guys would
come right behind me and...
360
00:13:18,072 --> 00:13:19,942
(grunting)
361
00:13:19,976 --> 00:13:21,478
Yeah, mm-hmm.
362
00:13:21,513 --> 00:13:23,349
We could put a little skylight
in the floor there,
363
00:13:23,382 --> 00:13:26,322
and look through it
and see Guillermo on the toilet.
364
00:13:26,355 --> 00:13:28,894
Oh, no, we don't need
a skylight in the bathroom.
365
00:13:28,927 --> 00:13:31,265
Nonsense, clear sight lines
are what buyers are looking for
366
00:13:31,298 --> 00:13:33,035
these days, right, Bran?
367
00:13:33,069 --> 00:13:34,505
Hey, who's the host
of this show, this guy or me?
368
00:13:34,539 --> 00:13:36,342
(laughs)
I love it.
369
00:13:36,375 --> 00:13:38,547
You know what I also love?
Look at this distressed wood.
370
00:13:38,580 --> 00:13:40,884
I mean, it's giving everyone
the shabby chic look
371
00:13:40,918 --> 00:13:42,320
that I know that you love...
372
00:13:42,354 --> 00:13:44,024
-Meets French country.
-Thank you very much.
373
00:13:44,057 --> 00:13:45,527
And how about
the whimsical seating?
374
00:13:45,561 --> 00:13:47,498
Have we talked about it yet?
I don't think we have.
375
00:13:47,531 --> 00:13:49,468
-Get down in it, brother.
-NANDOR: This?
376
00:13:49,502 --> 00:13:51,271
-That's for you.
-No.
377
00:13:51,305 --> 00:13:53,009
-This is your throne.
-GUILLERMO: It's not a dog bed?
378
00:13:53,042 --> 00:13:55,013
Give it test spin right now.
You're gonna love it.
379
00:13:55,046 --> 00:13:56,415
-No, he doesn't really get
comfortable so eas-- -Here we go.
380
00:13:56,448 --> 00:13:59,287
-Oh!
-How perfect is that?
381
00:13:59,321 --> 00:14:02,327
-Pretty perfect, Bran.
-Yeah!
382
00:14:02,360 --> 00:14:05,934
NARRATOR:
But the project wasn't a smooth ride from beginning to end.
383
00:14:05,968 --> 00:14:08,874
Bran got a call from the City
Building Inspector's office
384
00:14:08,907 --> 00:14:12,313
about the permits,
and the news was... not good.
385
00:14:12,347 --> 00:14:14,151
No, no, I understand.
386
00:14:14,184 --> 00:14:17,090
It's just that we've done
over 150 of these renovations,
387
00:14:17,123 --> 00:14:18,994
and this issue has
never come up before.
388
00:14:19,027 --> 00:14:20,329
MALE VOICE:
Sir, they don't pay me enough
389
00:14:20,363 --> 00:14:22,133
to fight with you, okay?
I'm sorry,
390
00:14:22,167 --> 00:14:24,004
but that's just where
the situation currently stands.
391
00:14:24,037 --> 00:14:26,175
All right? So you're just gonna
have to take it up with--
392
00:14:26,208 --> 00:14:28,345
-Son of a B!
-Sir?
393
00:14:28,379 --> 00:14:31,953
Oh, guys... (groans)
I'm so sorry to report this.
394
00:14:31,986 --> 00:14:33,523
But I just got off the phone
395
00:14:33,557 --> 00:14:35,259
with the City Building
Inspector's office.
396
00:14:35,293 --> 00:14:37,565
-And I've got some bad news.
-Bad news?!
397
00:14:37,598 --> 00:14:40,002
♪ ♪
398
00:14:41,338 --> 00:14:42,474
(gasps)
399
00:14:50,456 --> 00:14:52,193
with the City Building
Inspector's office.
400
00:14:52,227 --> 00:14:53,329
And I got some bad news.
401
00:14:53,362 --> 00:14:55,333
-Bad news?
-I'm afraid so.
402
00:14:55,366 --> 00:14:58,239
Apparently Guillermo's room does
not meet the legal requirements
403
00:14:58,272 --> 00:15:00,611
to call it a room.
The legal term is
404
00:15:00,644 --> 00:15:03,082
"hidey hole"
or a "rat's studio."
405
00:15:03,115 --> 00:15:04,552
That's okay,
I really don't mind.
406
00:15:04,585 --> 00:15:06,422
What the (bleep) does that mean?
407
00:15:06,455 --> 00:15:08,125
I'll tell you what
the F it means, L-Train.
408
00:15:08,159 --> 00:15:10,229
It means that we gotta now
reallocate this budget
409
00:15:10,263 --> 00:15:13,102
to get Guillermo's room
up to code.
410
00:15:13,135 --> 00:15:15,006
No, no, no. No one needs
to make a big fuss.
411
00:15:15,039 --> 00:15:16,442
(bleep) his room.
412
00:15:16,475 --> 00:15:18,179
What the (bleep) are
our options, B-boy?
413
00:15:18,212 --> 00:15:19,649
Well, I love the passion.
I'm gonna get on that couch,
414
00:15:19,682 --> 00:15:21,653
and show you what we got, okay?
415
00:15:21,686 --> 00:15:24,424
Open this up, and show you guys
what I worked up. Gather in.
416
00:15:24,458 --> 00:15:26,696
Now if we eliminate
Nadja's gold toilet...
417
00:15:26,729 --> 00:15:28,667
-(gasps) Eat (bleep)!
-Hang on a second.
418
00:15:28,700 --> 00:15:31,138
If we eliminate it,
we can open up that wall,
419
00:15:31,171 --> 00:15:33,510
and create a ventilation system
for Guillermo.
420
00:15:33,543 --> 00:15:34,679
What the (bleep) is this,
Club Med?
421
00:15:34,712 --> 00:15:36,415
We need the gold toilet!
422
00:15:36,448 --> 00:15:39,387
Hang on a second, 'cause
we're also going to have to...
423
00:15:39,421 --> 00:15:41,559
eliminated Nandor's
custom sign that says,
424
00:15:41,593 --> 00:15:43,730
-"Home is where the wine is."
-Get (bleep)!
425
00:15:43,763 --> 00:15:46,401
Because can then
close the open septic tank,
426
00:15:46,435 --> 00:15:49,207
which apparently is pooling
underneath Guillermo's bed.
427
00:15:49,241 --> 00:15:51,278
Well, I guess
if there's no other way...
428
00:15:51,311 --> 00:15:54,351
NARRATOR:
And finally even grouchy Guillermo was grinning.
429
00:15:54,384 --> 00:15:56,623
Meanwhile,
Marwa's got a surprise
430
00:15:56,656 --> 00:15:58,660
that even I haven't seen yet.
431
00:15:58,693 --> 00:16:00,697
NARRATOR:
Only midway through renovations,
432
00:16:00,731 --> 00:16:03,202
but Marwa was working
around the clock.
433
00:16:03,235 --> 00:16:04,404
You think he's ready?
434
00:16:04,437 --> 00:16:06,743
-You ready? Let's do it.
-Ready.
435
00:16:06,776 --> 00:16:09,447
And voilà!
436
00:16:09,481 --> 00:16:11,686
(chuckling):
Okay, all right.
437
00:16:11,719 --> 00:16:13,557
-Wow.
-Wow!
438
00:16:13,590 --> 00:16:16,161
BRAN:
Wow, wow.
439
00:16:16,195 --> 00:16:18,733
Are you looking at this?
Incredible.
440
00:16:18,767 --> 00:16:21,038
-Wow.
-BRAN: Tiny plant, hello.
441
00:16:21,071 --> 00:16:22,608
Look at this, decorative balls?
442
00:16:22,641 --> 00:16:24,645
-You can't go wrong with those.
-NANDOR: I love balls.
443
00:16:24,679 --> 00:16:26,381
-I love balls, too.
-BRAN: I love balls, too.
444
00:16:26,415 --> 00:16:28,085
And who wants to belly
up to the bar?
445
00:16:28,118 --> 00:16:30,389
Saddle up, giddy up!
Let's get up to the bar.
446
00:16:30,423 --> 00:16:32,327
-NANDOR: John would've
loved those. -Right.
447
00:16:32,360 --> 00:16:34,164
I love how the colors
448
00:16:34,197 --> 00:16:37,370
on the rug are just playing
with the new hardwoods,
449
00:16:37,403 --> 00:16:39,174
And then look
at the hoop right there.
450
00:16:39,207 --> 00:16:41,245
NANDOR:
Oh, wow, my own court.
451
00:16:41,278 --> 00:16:42,548
Do you like it, honey?
452
00:16:44,351 --> 00:16:45,721
Do I like it?
453
00:16:45,754 --> 00:16:48,259
I really love it.
454
00:16:48,292 --> 00:16:51,131
-Yes!
-I think it's so great!
455
00:16:51,164 --> 00:16:52,535
Wait! Before you sit down,
456
00:16:52,568 --> 00:16:54,404
let me make sure that the beans
457
00:16:54,437 --> 00:16:56,609
are in the optimal position
for you.
458
00:16:56,643 --> 00:16:58,479
Perfect. Can you...
459
00:16:58,513 --> 00:17:00,116
make sure I did
a good job on the door?
460
00:17:00,149 --> 00:17:02,220
I put a special lock
on there for you,
461
00:17:02,253 --> 00:17:04,224
because I know how much
you love your alone time.
462
00:17:04,257 --> 00:17:05,326
Looks pretty good to me.
463
00:17:05,359 --> 00:17:07,130
The chevron pattern
464
00:17:07,163 --> 00:17:08,667
and the wood grain
on this thing,
465
00:17:08,700 --> 00:17:11,205
it's just beautiful. Okay.
466
00:17:11,238 --> 00:17:13,475
-(clicks)
-I see you are trying out the, uh, the lock action.
467
00:17:13,510 --> 00:17:15,479
It's, uh...
468
00:17:15,514 --> 00:17:18,152
-Marwa?
-It's soundproof, too.
469
00:17:18,185 --> 00:17:19,689
You know, Bran, there was a time
470
00:17:19,722 --> 00:17:22,227
me and Marwa,
we liked very different things.
471
00:17:22,260 --> 00:17:24,097
-Mm-hmm.
-But then I made a wish
472
00:17:24,130 --> 00:17:26,168
that we would like
the same things.
473
00:17:26,201 --> 00:17:27,671
Now I think
that wish has come true.
474
00:17:27,705 --> 00:17:29,441
I also think perhaps that
475
00:17:29,474 --> 00:17:33,382
Marwa has been building
this man cave for herself.
476
00:17:33,415 --> 00:17:35,152
Yeah.
477
00:17:35,186 --> 00:17:37,691
♪ ♪
478
00:17:39,528 --> 00:17:42,100
Down to the wire.
Crew is in there...
479
00:17:43,536 --> 00:17:45,707
We're putting the finishing
touches on the house
480
00:17:45,741 --> 00:17:48,379
for the big reveal,
and I cannot wait
481
00:17:48,412 --> 00:17:50,651
to show the owners
their forever home.
482
00:17:50,684 --> 00:17:53,523
All right, you knuckleheads,
are you ready
483
00:17:53,556 --> 00:17:55,527
to find out
484
00:17:55,560 --> 00:17:58,733
if this house is a flip
or if it's gonna be a flub?
485
00:17:58,767 --> 00:18:01,138
-(whoops)
-We're ready to flip. -It's gonna be a flip.
486
00:18:01,171 --> 00:18:03,442
All right, everyone...
remove your blindfolds!
487
00:18:03,475 --> 00:18:05,514
♪ ♪
488
00:18:07,851 --> 00:18:09,822
That is not our house.
489
00:18:16,603 --> 00:18:19,274
-That is not our
490
00:18:19,307 --> 00:18:20,844
You're looking the wrong way,
that's our neighbor's house.
491
00:18:20,877 --> 00:18:22,548
-This way.
-Oh, right, got ya.
492
00:18:22,581 --> 00:18:24,685
Well?
493
00:18:24,719 --> 00:18:27,825
-NANDOR: Hmm.
-This looks... the same.
494
00:18:27,858 --> 00:18:30,597
All right, guys, what are we
waiting for? Let's get inside
495
00:18:30,631 --> 00:18:32,266
-and bam, bam, bam!
-Let's do it. -(Laszlo laughs)
496
00:18:32,300 --> 00:18:34,404
-BRAN: Let's go! Let's go!
-(Nadja whoops)
497
00:18:34,437 --> 00:18:37,611
Come on in, and check out
498
00:18:37,645 --> 00:18:40,817
your brand new dream home!
499
00:18:40,851 --> 00:18:42,688
Yeah!
500
00:18:42,721 --> 00:18:46,696
Everybody grab a figurative
straw and drink it in.
501
00:18:46,729 --> 00:18:48,600
Right?
502
00:18:48,633 --> 00:18:50,837
I'm speechless myself, gang.
503
00:18:50,871 --> 00:18:54,177
Guys, get in the nooks
and crannies. Check it out!
504
00:18:54,210 --> 00:18:56,716
♪ ♪
505
00:19:09,809 --> 00:19:11,846
Ew...
506
00:19:11,879 --> 00:19:14,317
-Huh?
-Wait, I thought you said you were going to completely...
507
00:19:14,351 --> 00:19:16,789
Bran, I'm starting to think
that this flip might be a flub.
508
00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:18,560
-What the (bleep)?!
-There's still
509
00:19:18,593 --> 00:19:20,497
-sewage under my bed.
-That was a permitting issue.
510
00:19:20,530 --> 00:19:22,501
There's still a tree
in the (bleep) fancy room!
511
00:19:22,534 --> 00:19:24,337
Give my Bran boy a chance.
512
00:19:24,371 --> 00:19:25,741
What are you talking about?!
This was his chance!
513
00:19:25,774 --> 00:19:27,778
Guys, we're not finished yet.
514
00:19:27,811 --> 00:19:31,251
'Cause the ol' Bran man
saved the best for last.
515
00:19:31,284 --> 00:19:32,855
Follow me. Come on, gang.
516
00:19:32,888 --> 00:19:35,359
You know, I might move in,
I love this place so much.
517
00:19:35,393 --> 00:19:36,863
Ready?
518
00:19:36,896 --> 00:19:38,900
I'm gonna welcome you
to your brand-new
519
00:19:38,933 --> 00:19:40,637
walk-in closet.
520
00:19:40,670 --> 00:19:42,340
-(bleep)
-Yeah!
521
00:19:42,373 --> 00:19:45,514
♪ This is our home ♪
522
00:19:45,547 --> 00:19:49,387
♪ Yet something has changed ♪
523
00:19:49,421 --> 00:19:53,496
♪ Always never known... ♪
524
00:19:53,530 --> 00:19:56,201
LASZLO:
This really is the knackers.
525
00:19:56,234 --> 00:19:58,205
-Come here.
-Bring it in. Ooh!
526
00:19:58,238 --> 00:20:00,911
BOTH:
Someone's excited. (laughing)
527
00:20:00,944 --> 00:20:02,781
Wait a second, I thought
this was supposed to be
528
00:20:02,815 --> 00:20:04,919
a "his-and-hers" closet?
529
00:20:04,952 --> 00:20:06,923
Change of plans, sweetie.
Live with it.
530
00:20:06,956 --> 00:20:08,626
-What the (bleep)?
-LASZLO: Hold on a second.
531
00:20:08,660 --> 00:20:10,564
Where the (bleep) is
my witch's skin hat?
532
00:20:10,597 --> 00:20:12,266
NADJA:
Who gives a (bleep)?
533
00:20:12,300 --> 00:20:15,406
You mean this witch's skin hat?
534
00:20:15,439 --> 00:20:17,711
Oh! Ha-ha!
535
00:20:17,745 --> 00:20:20,249
Simon the Devious,
I knew it was you.
536
00:20:20,282 --> 00:20:21,586
-You bastard.
-No, you didn't.
537
00:20:21,619 --> 00:20:23,590
GUILLERMO:
Oh, (bleep).
538
00:20:23,623 --> 00:20:25,494
-Bran, do something.
-(Bran's voice): What do you want me to do,
539
00:20:25,527 --> 00:20:26,929
ya knuckleheads?
540
00:20:26,963 --> 00:20:29,535
-That's clever.
-I was talking to Bran.
541
00:20:29,568 --> 00:20:31,639
You idiot, I am Bran.
542
00:20:31,672 --> 00:20:33,409
What have you done with Bran?
543
00:20:33,442 --> 00:20:34,678
Bran never existed.
544
00:20:34,712 --> 00:20:36,516
It's always been me.
545
00:20:36,549 --> 00:20:37,951
-(Nadja gasps)
-So you mean...? -Yes.
546
00:20:37,985 --> 00:20:39,555
You...?
547
00:20:39,588 --> 00:20:41,559
Did I create, pitch, sell
548
00:20:41,592 --> 00:20:45,466
and produce 150 episodes
of Go Flip Yourself
549
00:20:45,500 --> 00:20:49,441
for the sole purpose
of regaining access
550
00:20:49,474 --> 00:20:52,848
to your home
here in New York City
551
00:20:52,881 --> 00:20:57,423
that I might take
what is rightfully mine,
552
00:20:57,457 --> 00:21:00,697
this witch's clit of a hat? Yes.
553
00:21:00,730 --> 00:21:02,701
Yes, I did.
554
00:21:02,734 --> 00:21:05,974
What, all those episodes,
all those marathons,
555
00:21:06,007 --> 00:21:07,845
all those bedsheet sets
556
00:21:07,878 --> 00:21:09,715
in the Daltry Brothers'
Daltry Living line?
557
00:21:09,748 --> 00:21:12,754
Yes, it was all me. Well...
558
00:21:12,788 --> 00:21:15,694
we partnered with Kohl's
for the Daltry Living line.
559
00:21:15,727 --> 00:21:18,031
-Sellout!
-But the rest of it, all me.
560
00:21:18,065 --> 00:21:19,502
(laughs)
561
00:21:19,535 --> 00:21:21,338
All that just
for stealing my hat?
562
00:21:21,371 --> 00:21:22,340
-Yes.
-NADJA: Wow.
563
00:21:22,373 --> 00:21:24,477
(bleep) hell!
564
00:21:24,512 --> 00:21:26,348
Well, I had a little help
from my friends.
565
00:21:26,381 --> 00:21:29,053
(chuckles)
You remember my crew?
566
00:21:29,087 --> 00:21:32,293
Big Vlad.
Blavglad the Exsanguinator.
567
00:21:32,326 --> 00:21:34,598
-LASZLO: Oh, these pricks.
-Gunthrapple.
568
00:21:34,632 --> 00:21:36,736
Wesley Sikes.
569
00:21:36,769 --> 00:21:38,873
The Freak Sisters. Mr. '50s.
570
00:21:38,907 --> 00:21:40,376
Evil Steve.
571
00:21:40,409 --> 00:21:43,616
The wickedly talented
Adele Dazeem.
572
00:21:43,650 --> 00:21:46,454
-LASZLO: Hello there.
-Freakfest Tony.
573
00:21:46,488 --> 00:21:48,760
Hi, Tony, nice to see you again.
574
00:21:48,793 --> 00:21:50,931
-The Silent One.
-Hey, guys, how's it going?
575
00:21:50,964 --> 00:21:53,603
Just gonna keep it silent
for now, thank you.
576
00:21:53,636 --> 00:21:56,642
He Who Shall Not Be Named...
but it's Greg.
577
00:21:56,676 --> 00:21:57,945
His name is Greg.
578
00:21:57,978 --> 00:21:59,915
Desdemona the Shrieker.
579
00:21:59,949 --> 00:22:01,084
-(shrieking)
-(all clamoring)
580
00:22:01,117 --> 00:22:03,923
That guy I still don't know.
581
00:22:03,957 --> 00:22:05,927
And of course, the king himself,
582
00:22:05,961 --> 00:22:07,598
Elvis.
583
00:22:07,631 --> 00:22:09,467
Yeah, I always pretty good
with a hammer.
584
00:22:09,502 --> 00:22:11,772
-Not very good with friendship.
-NADJA: Traitor!
585
00:22:11,806 --> 00:22:13,510
Ronaldo the Elder.
586
00:22:13,543 --> 00:22:15,012
There he is,
and who could forget
587
00:22:15,045 --> 00:22:18,786
Ken the Zombie
of my Former Accountant.
588
00:22:18,820 --> 00:22:20,790
Yes, he's also
589
00:22:20,824 --> 00:22:22,528
the COO
of my production company.
590
00:22:22,561 --> 00:22:24,532
And of course, my sound guy...
591
00:22:24,565 --> 00:22:26,067
Count Rapula.
592
00:22:26,101 --> 00:22:27,538
-No...
-Oh, not this guy...
593
00:22:27,571 --> 00:22:29,073
(Count Rapula vocalizing)
594
00:22:29,107 --> 00:22:30,544
♪ Hey, yo, I arose
from my tomb ♪
595
00:22:30,577 --> 00:22:32,079
♪ With three lavs and a boom ♪
596
00:22:32,113 --> 00:22:33,550
♪ And when you think
you're alone ♪
597
00:22:33,583 --> 00:22:34,785
♪ I'm in your home ♪
598
00:22:34,818 --> 00:22:36,421
♪ Getting room tone ♪
599
00:22:36,454 --> 00:22:38,392
-No. No!
-♪ Scary stories and fables ♪
600
00:22:38,425 --> 00:22:40,697
-♪ And XLR cables, my... ♪
-Okay, very good.
601
00:22:40,730 --> 00:22:42,400
Thank you, Count Rapula.
I think we all get it.
602
00:22:42,433 --> 00:22:44,672
Well, I killed Toby.
603
00:22:44,705 --> 00:22:46,909
So looks like
one of your crew
604
00:22:46,943 --> 00:22:48,546
is dead.
605
00:22:48,580 --> 00:22:50,550
Well, actually, Toby
wasn't one of our crew.
606
00:22:50,584 --> 00:22:51,986
He was a regular guy.
607
00:22:52,019 --> 00:22:54,692
He was a Navy flight instructor
608
00:22:54,725 --> 00:22:56,996
with...
I want to say three?
609
00:22:57,029 --> 00:22:59,969
-Three children
without a father. -NANDOR: Sad.
610
00:23:00,002 --> 00:23:01,839
SIMON:
Well done!
611
00:23:01,872 --> 00:23:04,444
Took me a while to get
to know him, earn his trust.
612
00:23:04,477 --> 00:23:06,014
And then I pitched him the show.
613
00:23:06,047 --> 00:23:07,985
And then I paid for him to study
614
00:23:08,018 --> 00:23:10,122
design, architecture,
615
00:23:10,155 --> 00:23:11,993
-and construction skills.
-GUILLERMO: Wait.
616
00:23:12,026 --> 00:23:13,095
Why didn't you just find
someone who already knew
617
00:23:13,128 --> 00:23:14,932
how to build houses?
618
00:23:14,965 --> 00:23:16,702
'Cause for a show like this,
it's all about "it factor."
619
00:23:16,736 --> 00:23:20,142
You really are
the most devious bastard
620
00:23:20,175 --> 00:23:22,948
in New York City.
621
00:23:22,981 --> 00:23:25,954
Well, we're not
in New York City.
622
00:23:25,987 --> 00:23:28,826
We're in (bleep) Staten Island.
623
00:23:28,860 --> 00:23:30,864
-(hissing)
-Which means you're not worth (bleep).
624
00:23:30,897 --> 00:23:33,870
You come in here, you pinch
my hat, you destroy my house
625
00:23:33,903 --> 00:23:36,609
and you con me
into spending $2,000
626
00:23:36,642 --> 00:23:37,744
-on these poufs.
-2,000...?
627
00:23:37,778 --> 00:23:38,880
I like the poufs.
628
00:23:38,913 --> 00:23:40,784
Does no one like the poufs?
629
00:23:40,817 --> 00:23:42,486
I don't mind the poufs.
630
00:23:42,521 --> 00:23:44,490
You see, you're a dickhead
'cause you've just shown
631
00:23:44,525 --> 00:23:47,998
your face onscreen, which means
this episode, Brainiac,
632
00:23:48,031 --> 00:23:50,469
-cannot be televised.
-(Simon scoffs)
633
00:23:50,503 --> 00:23:52,106
Do you have any ideas
who my viewers are?
634
00:23:52,139 --> 00:23:56,014
They're people in airports
and hospital waiting rooms.
635
00:23:56,047 --> 00:24:00,022
I once showed
a gaping, open asshole
636
00:24:00,055 --> 00:24:02,159
for ten seconds,
637
00:24:02,193 --> 00:24:04,898
-and I never heard
a word about it. -LASZLO: Yes.
638
00:24:04,932 --> 00:24:07,771
it was Episode 73, "Ramshackle
Ranch," I do believe.
639
00:24:07,804 --> 00:24:10,175
-You really watch the show.
-I do, yes.
640
00:24:10,209 --> 00:24:11,812
-Oh, that means the world to me.
-Who cares?
641
00:24:11,846 --> 00:24:14,752
Anyway, I've got
your witch's hat,
642
00:24:14,785 --> 00:24:17,891
and I've got signed
release forms from each of you,
643
00:24:17,924 --> 00:24:19,528
so you can expect
to see this episode
644
00:24:19,561 --> 00:24:22,634
airing around the clock
about two years from now.
645
00:24:22,668 --> 00:24:25,907
-(hisses)
-All right, let's roll, crew!
646
00:24:25,940 --> 00:24:28,045
-(Nadja shouting)
-LASZLO: Whoa!
647
00:24:28,078 --> 00:24:29,213
Get away!
648
00:24:29,247 --> 00:24:31,552
-Go on!
-(glass shatters)
649
00:24:31,585 --> 00:24:33,623
Later, losers.
650
00:24:36,094 --> 00:24:38,533
Ow! (bleep) me!
651
00:24:38,566 --> 00:24:40,704
-Stupid prick can't even fly.
-NADJA: It's the (bleep) hat.
652
00:24:40,737 --> 00:24:43,676
-It's not the hat.
-Reckon that hat's got some bad hoodoo in it, huh?
653
00:24:43,710 --> 00:24:45,547
There's nothing wrong
with the hat, Elvis!
654
00:24:45,580 --> 00:24:48,653
Later, losers-- ow!
(bleep)
655
00:24:48,686 --> 00:24:50,523
BRAN:
And that's a wrap on the Mixed-Up Mansion.
656
00:24:50,557 --> 00:24:52,494
Hello? You can go, too.
657
00:24:52,527 --> 00:24:54,898
BRAN: The job wasn't easy, but
the owners couldn't be happier.
658
00:24:59,708 --> 00:25:01,044
LASZ
659
00:25:01,077 --> 00:25:02,647
I can't believe
he came back for that.
660
00:25:02,681 --> 00:25:03,549
-(overlapping chatter)
-What are you doing?
661
00:25:03,583 --> 00:25:04,952
You got what you want.
662
00:25:04,985 --> 00:25:06,555
-(bleep) off.
-This (bleep) is disgusting!
663
00:25:06,589 --> 00:25:07,557
CAMERA OPERATOR:
Okay, but we still need to get
664
00:25:07,591 --> 00:25:08,826
the pre-credits button.
665
00:25:08,860 --> 00:25:10,062
What makes you think
we give a (bleep)
666
00:25:10,095 --> 00:25:11,932
about the pre-credits button?
667
00:25:11,966 --> 00:25:13,936
CAMERA OPERATOR:
It's just, if you don't, you won't get
668
00:25:13,970 --> 00:25:15,305
your full payment
for the episode.
669
00:25:15,339 --> 00:25:17,243
I think it comes out
to, like, $1,200.
670
00:25:17,276 --> 00:25:19,681
-Oh, is it?
-Ooh, not too shabby.
671
00:25:19,715 --> 00:25:22,721
NADJA:
What I will just say
672
00:25:22,754 --> 00:25:26,094
is that now that Laszlo's
cursed hat is finally gone,
673
00:25:26,127 --> 00:25:29,200
the fire that's always going on
in the boiler room has gone out.
674
00:25:29,233 --> 00:25:30,770
Yes!
675
00:25:30,804 --> 00:25:32,239
And the sewage flooding
in the basement
676
00:25:32,273 --> 00:25:33,910
has dried up somewhat.
677
00:25:33,943 --> 00:25:35,914
NANDOR:
Thank you, Go Flip Yourself.
678
00:25:35,947 --> 00:25:37,984
And I'm pleased to report the
raccoons have stopped (bleep)
679
00:25:38,018 --> 00:25:39,988
under the sofa.
680
00:25:40,022 --> 00:25:41,692
Well... most of them have.
681
00:25:41,726 --> 00:25:43,730
(raccoons chittering)
682
00:25:43,763 --> 00:25:46,034
(laughter)
683
00:25:48,171 --> 00:25:50,142
NARRATOR: On the next
Go Flip Yourself,
684
00:25:50,175 --> 00:25:52,614
Bran takes on his toughest
challenge yet.
685
00:25:52,647 --> 00:25:54,885
And the electric stove top
wasn't really
686
00:25:54,918 --> 00:25:57,156
working for you, was
it Amanda?
687
00:25:57,189 --> 00:25:59,260
-I mean, it worked.
-And that's why all
688
00:25:59,293 --> 00:26:01,966
the real restaurant chefs--
say it with me--
689
00:26:01,999 --> 00:26:03,970
BOTH:
...only cook with gas.
690
00:26:04,003 --> 00:26:05,740
Yeah! All right, let's fire
691
00:26:05,774 --> 00:26:07,143
this baby up and make some
692
00:26:07,176 --> 00:26:08,980
of your world-famous spaghetti,
huh?
693
00:26:09,013 --> 00:26:10,984
-Let's do it.
-Let's do it!
694
00:26:12,654 --> 00:26:16,027
♪ I'll make you a believer ♪
695
00:26:16,060 --> 00:26:20,870
♪ Get off your knees ♪
696
00:26:20,904 --> 00:26:24,912
♪ You got the power to be ♪
697
00:26:24,945 --> 00:26:28,920
♪ What you want to be ♪
698
00:26:28,953 --> 00:26:32,293
♪ Make you a believer ♪
699
00:26:33,629 --> 00:26:36,836
♪ Make you a believer. ♪
700
00:26:52,901 --> 00:26:55,305
BRAN AND TOBY:
Go Flip Yourself.
701
00:26:57,343 --> 00:27:01,652
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
702
00:27:01,702 --> 00:27:06,252
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
52712
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