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1
00:00:08,759 --> 00:00:12,828
? Hello, world, hear
the song that we're singin'
2
00:00:12,896 --> 00:00:15,363
? Come on, get happy
3
00:00:17,201 --> 00:00:21,336
? A whole lot of lovin'
is what we'll be bringin'
4
00:00:21,404 --> 00:00:23,839
? We'll make you happy
5
00:00:25,609 --> 00:00:29,077
? We had a dream
we'd go travelin' together
6
00:00:29,146 --> 00:00:32,447
? And spread a little lovin'
then we'd keep movin' on
7
00:00:32,515 --> 00:00:35,751
? Somethin' always happens
whenever we're together
8
00:00:35,819 --> 00:00:39,154
? We get a happy feelin'
when we're singin' a song
9
00:00:39,223 --> 00:00:42,457
? Travelin' along there's
a song that we're singin'
10
00:00:43,426 --> 00:00:45,861
? Come on, get happy
11
00:00:47,631 --> 00:00:50,932
? A whole lot of lovin'
is what we'll be bringin'
12
00:00:51,902 --> 00:00:54,303
? We'll make you happy
13
00:00:55,272 --> 00:00:57,672
? We'll make you happy
14
00:00:58,675 --> 00:01:00,642
? We'll make you happy ?
15
00:01:05,933 --> 00:01:07,543
Where are the Sports, squirt?
16
00:01:07,567 --> 00:01:11,369
You wanna let me get
the Business page? Okay.
17
00:01:11,438 --> 00:01:13,805
I know you want
the Society section.
18
00:01:13,874 --> 00:01:15,807
You betcha. Can I
have the funnies?
19
00:01:18,545 --> 00:01:19,785
Anybody want the news?
20
00:01:19,813 --> 00:01:21,246
I'll take it.
21
00:01:21,315 --> 00:01:22,914
Since when do you read the news?
22
00:01:22,983 --> 00:01:24,828
It's not for me. It's
for Buddy Block.
23
00:01:24,852 --> 00:01:26,996
I'm helping him
housebreak his puppy.
24
00:01:27,020 --> 00:01:29,699
Puppy can have yesterday's
news. It's all the same to him.
25
00:01:29,723 --> 00:01:33,258
I don't believe it. Guess
who's in San Pueblo?
26
00:01:33,327 --> 00:01:34,993
Who?
27
00:01:35,062 --> 00:01:37,307
"The San Pueblo chamber of
commerce is proud to announce
28
00:01:37,331 --> 00:01:40,832
"the arrival of Ambassador
at Large Howard Lipton."
29
00:01:40,901 --> 00:01:42,312
What's he doing in San Pueblo?
30
00:01:42,336 --> 00:01:43,701
Listen to this.
31
00:01:43,770 --> 00:01:46,271
"If Ambassador Lipton was
less interested in women
32
00:01:46,340 --> 00:01:48,251
"and more interested
in diplomacy,
33
00:01:48,275 --> 00:01:50,753
"he could probably save
the world in one week."
34
00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:52,410
Is he a playboy, Mom?
35
00:01:52,479 --> 00:01:54,924
Well I wouldn't exactly
call him a playboy.
36
00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:57,268
That's exactly
what I'd call him.
37
00:01:57,317 --> 00:02:01,486
Now, wait a minute. The man
is a very busy ambassador.
38
00:02:01,554 --> 00:02:04,890
Women are his relaxation. I mean,
everybody has to have a hobby.
39
00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:08,026
Do you know, it takes a warped
mind to think of women as a hobby.
40
00:02:08,095 --> 00:02:10,161
I'd rather collect stamps.
41
00:02:10,230 --> 00:02:13,009
Just because the man is
handsome, intelligent and he's able
42
00:02:13,033 --> 00:02:16,379
to sweep women off their feet,
there's no reason to put him down.
43
00:02:16,403 --> 00:02:18,303
He should be admired.
44
00:02:18,372 --> 00:02:23,108
Yeah, and if men like you had their
own country, Hugh Hefner would be king.
45
00:02:23,176 --> 00:02:24,209
(DOORBELL RINGING)
46
00:02:29,749 --> 00:02:31,116
Mrs. Shirley Partridge?
47
00:02:31,184 --> 00:02:32,884
Yes?
48
00:02:32,953 --> 00:02:37,622
My name is Roger Harper. I'm Chief
Attache to Ambassador Howard Lipton.
49
00:02:37,690 --> 00:02:39,490
I'm here at the request
of the Ambassador.
50
00:02:39,559 --> 00:02:42,394
He'd be honored if you would
join him this evening for dinner.
51
00:02:42,462 --> 00:02:44,495
Me?
52
00:02:44,564 --> 00:02:48,934
ROGER: He would have come
himself but his schedule is very tight.
53
00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:50,268
I see.
54
00:02:50,337 --> 00:02:53,939
May I tell the Ambassador
that your answer is "Yes"?
55
00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:55,140
Well...
56
00:02:57,544 --> 00:02:58,977
I suppose I could.
57
00:02:59,046 --> 00:03:02,147
Fine. He'll pick you up
at 8:00 sharp. Good day.
58
00:03:07,387 --> 00:03:08,753
Mom, you can't.
59
00:03:08,822 --> 00:03:10,322
Why can't I?
60
00:03:10,390 --> 00:03:13,224
Well, it's... It's
like selling out.
61
00:03:13,293 --> 00:03:14,670
What do you mean? She
knows what she's doing.
62
00:03:14,694 --> 00:03:16,394
It's a chance of a lifetime.
63
00:03:16,463 --> 00:03:20,365
No offense, Mom, but
why would he ask you out?
64
00:03:20,434 --> 00:03:22,600
I don't know. I only
met him only once.
65
00:03:22,669 --> 00:03:25,370
Aha! You know each other.
66
00:03:25,439 --> 00:03:28,906
We shook hands in a
receiving line at a political rally.
67
00:03:28,976 --> 00:03:31,809
Mom, a guy doesn't ask you out
just because you have a good grip.
68
00:03:31,878 --> 00:03:36,714
I think the reason is obvious. When you're
in Rome, you go out with Sophia Loren.
69
00:03:36,783 --> 00:03:40,852
When you're in San Pueblo, you either
go out with Mom or Mildred Spindle.
70
00:03:40,920 --> 00:03:42,653
Who's Mildred Spindle?
71
00:03:42,722 --> 00:03:44,189
The meter maid.
72
00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:52,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
73
00:04:07,214 --> 00:04:11,249
Well, should we all stop
pretending that we're reading?
74
00:04:11,318 --> 00:04:12,517
What time is it?
75
00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:14,886
It's 10 minutes till 10.
76
00:04:14,954 --> 00:04:18,523
I can't remember the
last time I was stood up.
77
00:04:18,591 --> 00:04:21,893
Mom, maybe he's
talking to the President.
78
00:04:21,961 --> 00:04:24,362
You can't put the
President on hold, you know.
79
00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:28,900
Well, the President won't mind if I
change into something more comfortable.
80
00:04:32,305 --> 00:04:34,339
It's so silly.
81
00:04:34,408 --> 00:04:37,020
You're all acting as if he were
some kind of a god or something.
82
00:04:37,044 --> 00:04:41,212
I mean, what's the big deal about
Ambassador Lipton? He's just a man.
83
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,048
(DOORBELL RINGING)
84
00:04:43,983 --> 00:04:45,250
(SIGHING)
85
00:04:50,690 --> 00:04:54,159
Good evening. I am Howard
Lipton. Is your mother at home?
86
00:04:55,362 --> 00:04:57,895
Is there something wrong?
87
00:04:57,964 --> 00:05:00,131
No, no, no. I'm just, uh...
88
00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:01,666
(CHUCKLES) No.
89
00:05:01,734 --> 00:05:03,768
Oh, I'm terribly sorry I'm late.
90
00:05:03,836 --> 00:05:07,872
Well... It's... I mean, Mom is...
Well, she really isn't, though.
91
00:05:07,941 --> 00:05:10,808
(CLEARS THROAT) Good evening,
Mr. Lipton. Won't you come in?
92
00:05:10,877 --> 00:05:12,009
Thank you.
93
00:05:12,079 --> 00:05:13,589
I'm Keith. This is
my brother Danny.
94
00:05:13,613 --> 00:05:14,690
How do you do? Hi.
95
00:05:14,714 --> 00:05:15,791
Chris. My sister... Hi.
96
00:05:15,815 --> 00:05:17,549
Tracy. Hello.
97
00:05:17,617 --> 00:05:21,586
And I see you've already met
my silver-tongued sister Laurie.
98
00:05:21,654 --> 00:05:24,655
Mom! Your ambassador's here!
99
00:05:24,724 --> 00:05:26,657
I brought a little
gift for your mother.
100
00:05:26,726 --> 00:05:29,004
(GASPING) Yellow
roses. They're her favorite.
101
00:05:29,028 --> 00:05:31,729
Yes, yes, I know.
102
00:05:31,798 --> 00:05:34,477
Well, I had some of my people
investigate her likes and dislikes.
103
00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:36,101
Oh.
104
00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:38,981
I didn't know the State Department
had a computer dating service.
105
00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:40,505
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
106
00:05:40,574 --> 00:05:42,640
(LAUGHS) That's very clever.
107
00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:46,478
There you are.
108
00:05:48,448 --> 00:05:52,049
Mrs. Partridge, I'm terribly sorry
I'm so late, but I was on the phone
109
00:05:52,119 --> 00:05:55,987
with the President, and you just
can't put the President on hold.
110
00:05:58,158 --> 00:05:59,424
I understand.
111
00:05:59,493 --> 00:06:02,293
I brought you a little gift.
112
00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:06,030
And again, I'm really,
really very sorry.
113
00:06:06,099 --> 00:06:08,199
Yellow roses.
They're my favorite.
114
00:06:08,268 --> 00:06:10,768
He knows. You've
been investigated.
115
00:06:10,837 --> 00:06:13,116
Well, actually, they just
read all of the fan magazines.
116
00:06:13,140 --> 00:06:16,274
They are much, much
more thorough than the FBI.
117
00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:18,876
Shall we go?
118
00:06:22,015 --> 00:06:24,715
Have a good time.
119
00:06:24,784 --> 00:06:25,961
Good night. Good night.
120
00:06:25,985 --> 00:06:27,163
Nice meeting you.
121
00:06:27,187 --> 00:06:28,319
Goodbye. Nice meeting you.
122
00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:30,688
See you. It was
nice meeting you.
123
00:06:32,192 --> 00:06:35,460
Well, how are you
ever gonna live it down?
124
00:06:35,529 --> 00:06:37,195
Live what down?
125
00:06:37,264 --> 00:06:39,997
Swept off your feet
by a male chauvinist.
126
00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:46,204
Howard, do you mind
if I ask you a question?
127
00:06:46,273 --> 00:06:48,973
Why did you ask me out?
128
00:06:49,042 --> 00:06:51,220
Oh, I've wanted to
ever since the reception
129
00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:53,444
at that political rally
three years ago.
130
00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:55,746
You remembered
me from a handshake?
131
00:06:55,815 --> 00:06:57,014
Oh, yes.
132
00:06:58,218 --> 00:07:00,718
Shirley, you've
got a terrific grip.
133
00:07:00,787 --> 00:07:02,353
(CHUCKLING)
134
00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:05,056
Mr. Ambassador? Mr. Ambassador?
135
00:07:05,124 --> 00:07:07,124
Yes, Roger? Oh.
136
00:07:07,194 --> 00:07:09,727
Shirley, excuse me,
just for a moment, please.
137
00:07:09,796 --> 00:07:11,062
Of course.
138
00:07:13,466 --> 00:07:15,866
(CLEARS THROAT) Hello?
139
00:07:15,935 --> 00:07:18,769
Oh, yes, Mr. President.
It's the President.
140
00:07:18,838 --> 00:07:20,071
Of the United States?
141
00:07:20,139 --> 00:07:21,472
No, Mexico.
142
00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:23,682
Si.
143
00:07:26,012 --> 00:07:27,252
Si. Si.
144
00:07:30,983 --> 00:07:32,950
(SOFTLY) Thank you.
145
00:07:33,019 --> 00:07:36,787
Please go ahead with dinner.
I'll just be a minute or two more.
146
00:07:36,856 --> 00:07:38,989
Yes, I'll see to it at once.
147
00:07:40,193 --> 00:07:42,260
Fine. Fine.
148
00:07:42,329 --> 00:07:44,662
Very... Fine. Goodbye. Goodbye.
149
00:07:46,566 --> 00:07:48,311
There, you see,
that didn't take long.
150
00:07:48,335 --> 00:07:49,679
Just a glass of wine and salad.
151
00:07:49,703 --> 00:07:53,338
Usually the President
talks all the way to dessert.
152
00:07:53,406 --> 00:07:54,839
I understand.
153
00:07:56,376 --> 00:07:58,142
Roger.
154
00:07:58,211 --> 00:08:00,645
Yes, sir? No more calls.
155
00:08:00,714 --> 00:08:04,181
Not even the red phone?
156
00:08:04,251 --> 00:08:07,818
Shirley, please excuse me. I
have to take it. It's the red phone.
157
00:08:07,887 --> 00:08:09,053
I see.
158
00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:16,794
Yes, Mr. President?
159
00:08:16,863 --> 00:08:18,363
Mexico again?
160
00:08:18,431 --> 00:08:20,331
No, it's the President.
161
00:08:21,401 --> 00:08:23,000
Yes, sir.
162
00:08:23,069 --> 00:08:24,869
Uh... Why...
163
00:08:24,937 --> 00:08:27,505
Yes, sir. I have
got the time to chat.
164
00:08:29,743 --> 00:08:32,722
(WHISPERING) When
the President wants to chat,
165
00:08:32,746 --> 00:08:34,279
you chat.
166
00:08:37,183 --> 00:08:38,783
Oh, yes, yes, yes.
167
00:08:43,189 --> 00:08:46,023
It was a very nice dinner.
168
00:08:46,092 --> 00:08:50,861
The Ambassador told me to be sure
and tell you that he had a wonderful time.
169
00:08:50,930 --> 00:08:53,864
Thank the Ambassador
and tell him goodnight.
170
00:08:53,933 --> 00:08:55,733
I will.
171
00:08:55,802 --> 00:08:58,603
And goodnight, from me, too.
172
00:09:06,346 --> 00:09:07,679
KEITH: Well?
173
00:09:08,348 --> 00:09:09,480
Well, what?
174
00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:11,048
Well, what's he like?
175
00:09:11,117 --> 00:09:13,551
Well, it's hard to say exactly.
176
00:09:14,987 --> 00:09:17,199
Goodnight. KEITH:
"Goodnight"? Wait a minute.
177
00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:20,035
Aren't you at least gonna tell us why
you came home with the other guy?
178
00:09:20,059 --> 00:09:22,527
Howard was on the phone.
179
00:09:22,595 --> 00:09:25,630
I think it was the Shah of Iran.
180
00:09:25,699 --> 00:09:27,443
That's all you're gonna tell us?
181
00:09:27,467 --> 00:09:29,300
Did I say "Goodnight"?
182
00:09:29,369 --> 00:09:30,702
Yeah.
183
00:09:30,770 --> 00:09:33,170
Well, I guess that
about covers it.
184
00:09:37,711 --> 00:09:38,909
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
185
00:09:38,978 --> 00:09:41,178
Come in.
186
00:09:41,247 --> 00:09:44,114
(CHUCKLING) Good day. Good day.
187
00:09:44,183 --> 00:09:45,416
It was until now.
188
00:09:45,485 --> 00:09:46,684
Danny.
189
00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:49,153
(CHUCKLING) There's a cute kid.
190
00:09:49,222 --> 00:09:54,024
(LAUGHS) "Good day" to us, and
"cute kid" to Danny. Do you feel all right?
191
00:09:54,093 --> 00:09:56,394
I feel great.
192
00:09:56,463 --> 00:09:58,195
(CHUCKLES)
193
00:09:58,264 --> 00:09:59,864
Any special reason?
194
00:09:59,932 --> 00:10:02,878
Several. The date you
had last night with Mr. Big?
195
00:10:02,902 --> 00:10:04,301
It's front page stuff.
196
00:10:04,371 --> 00:10:06,103
(SCOFFS) Rueben.
197
00:10:06,172 --> 00:10:09,774
I'd hardly call The San
Pueblo Tattler the big time.
198
00:10:09,843 --> 00:10:13,177
Yes, but now the wire
services will get a hold of it.
199
00:10:13,246 --> 00:10:15,290
This is gonna
be great publicity.
200
00:10:15,314 --> 00:10:18,649
I'm not sure I like being an
item in The San Pueblo Tattler.
201
00:10:18,718 --> 00:10:23,488
Oh, I'm telling you, Shirley, this could
mean the Carson Show, Dick Cabot.
202
00:10:23,556 --> 00:10:26,056
Who knows, maybe even
a shot on The Dating Game.
203
00:10:26,125 --> 00:10:28,659
Rueben, let's not
get carried away.
204
00:10:28,728 --> 00:10:32,248
Go out with him a few more times.
We could even have our own TV special.
205
00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:33,765
(DOORBELL RINGING)
206
00:10:33,833 --> 00:10:36,967
Rueben, this was a one-time
thing. Now, let's forget it.
207
00:10:42,876 --> 00:10:44,174
Good morning, Mrs. Partridge.
208
00:10:44,243 --> 00:10:46,711
Mr. Harper. What
brings you here?
209
00:10:46,780 --> 00:10:49,163
Well, Ambassador Lipton
wishes me to express
210
00:10:49,175 --> 00:10:51,516
again he had a wonderful
time last evening.
211
00:10:51,584 --> 00:10:54,218
And since his stay has
been extended one day,
212
00:10:54,287 --> 00:10:57,588
he would like to take you
to dinner again this evening.
213
00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:59,223
I knew it.
214
00:10:59,292 --> 00:11:03,394
Mr. Harper, tell Howard I
sincerely appreciate his invitation,
215
00:11:04,564 --> 00:11:06,531
but my answer is "No".
216
00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:09,480
No? No?
217
00:11:10,102 --> 00:11:11,102
No.
218
00:11:16,777 --> 00:11:19,878
But I can't take a
"No" back to Mr. Lipton.
219
00:11:19,946 --> 00:11:22,480
Nobody ever says
"No" to Mr. Lipton.
220
00:11:22,548 --> 00:11:25,483
Even Ho Chi Minh said "Maybe".
221
00:11:25,551 --> 00:11:27,451
That is exactly what she means.
222
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:30,354
She always says "No"
when she means "Maybe"?
223
00:11:31,591 --> 00:11:34,625
Mr. Harper, my
"No's" are genuine.
224
00:11:35,361 --> 00:11:36,494
(SIGHING)
225
00:11:37,497 --> 00:11:40,331
Raquel, Gina, Bridget,
226
00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:44,202
they all said "Yes".
227
00:11:44,271 --> 00:11:47,371
I get a "No" from
Shirley Partridge.
228
00:11:53,113 --> 00:11:57,015
Shirley, can I ask you
one simple question?
229
00:11:57,083 --> 00:11:59,784
Why? Yeah, that's the question.
230
00:11:59,853 --> 00:12:02,165
Was it because he's
a male chauvinist?
231
00:12:02,189 --> 00:12:04,522
No, he is not a male chauvinist.
232
00:12:05,758 --> 00:12:07,225
He didn't try anything, did he?
233
00:12:07,294 --> 00:12:08,993
He didn't try anything.
234
00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:11,495
What, then?
235
00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:14,966
Rueben, I don't want to
go out with the man again
236
00:12:15,035 --> 00:12:18,369
simply because I
didn't have a good time.
237
00:12:18,438 --> 00:12:20,671
That's it? That's it.
238
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:24,809
(SIGHING) Well, there goes
our invitation to the White House.
239
00:12:24,878 --> 00:12:28,313
Rueben, the man
invited me for dinner,
240
00:12:28,381 --> 00:12:30,315
not us to the White House.
241
00:12:30,383 --> 00:12:35,686
I know. I know. I mean, what
the heck. It's just showbiz.
242
00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:38,643
For every person who
makes it to the White
243
00:12:38,655 --> 00:12:41,625
House, there is a
broken light on Broadway.
244
00:12:41,694 --> 00:12:45,529
I don't know what that
means, but I think Mom's right.
245
00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:47,265
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
246
00:12:55,808 --> 00:12:57,075
No pictures!
247
00:12:57,143 --> 00:12:59,844
Five minutes with the girl
who broke Lipton's heart.
248
00:12:59,913 --> 00:13:01,712
No interviews.
249
00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:03,114
REPORTER: This is news.
250
00:13:03,183 --> 00:13:05,649
RUEBEN: Go picture
some natural disaster.
251
00:13:07,153 --> 00:13:08,186
(EXHALES)
252
00:13:08,255 --> 00:13:09,431
He's a new one.
253
00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:11,956
Yeah. ABC News in Los Angeles.
254
00:13:12,025 --> 00:13:14,658
Well, you wanted publicity.
255
00:13:14,727 --> 00:13:17,962
I guess I just wasn't
meant to be a happy man.
256
00:13:18,031 --> 00:13:20,131
(EXHALING) There's
more here than yesterday.
257
00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:21,844
(DOORBELL RINGING)
All from Howard.
258
00:13:21,868 --> 00:13:24,468
I'll bet it's that
newsman again.
259
00:13:26,072 --> 00:13:27,272
Oh.
260
00:13:27,340 --> 00:13:28,539
Two minutes, okay, Kincaid?
261
00:13:28,608 --> 00:13:31,609
No, not okay.
262
00:13:31,677 --> 00:13:34,857
I can't believe it. I didn't think we
were gonna get out of that store
263
00:13:34,881 --> 00:13:37,382
without everyone voting on
whether you're right or wrong.
264
00:13:37,450 --> 00:13:40,490
I know. I think it was awful the
way that Mrs. Schubach did it.
265
00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:42,932
I mean it's ridiculous to
think that refusing Mr. Lipton
266
00:13:42,956 --> 00:13:45,801
has anything to do with
the rise in food prices.
267
00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:48,492
I'm beginning to think
that I should reconsider.
268
00:13:48,561 --> 00:13:50,672
Do you still think
you're right? Yes.
269
00:13:50,696 --> 00:13:52,530
Then don't reconsider.
270
00:13:55,068 --> 00:13:58,180
Well. There you
are, Mrs. Partridge.
271
00:13:58,204 --> 00:13:59,337
Hello, Mrs. Hendleman.
272
00:13:59,406 --> 00:14:01,539
You want my advice?
No, Mrs. Hendleman.
273
00:14:01,607 --> 00:14:03,374
Go out with him. It's best.
274
00:14:03,443 --> 00:14:05,376
Why is it best, Mrs. Hendleman?
275
00:14:05,445 --> 00:14:09,147
Because he's a great man and
you are but a face in the crowd.
276
00:14:09,215 --> 00:14:13,751
Mrs. Partridge, a face in the crowd
should not jilt a man who may someday be
277
00:14:13,820 --> 00:14:16,180
in our children's history books.
278
00:14:18,425 --> 00:14:20,124
Well, that does it.
279
00:14:20,994 --> 00:14:22,560
Does what?
280
00:14:22,628 --> 00:14:26,931
If Mrs. Hendleman think
I'm wrong, I must be right.
281
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:29,912
Guess what? It's like
living in a gift shop.
282
00:14:29,936 --> 00:14:33,404
I'm gonna plant some of them today.
At least then, we'll be able to get around.
283
00:14:33,473 --> 00:14:37,141
I don't understand what
he's so crazy about Mom for.
284
00:14:37,210 --> 00:14:40,778
Well, what I mean is even
with all your good points,
285
00:14:40,847 --> 00:14:42,546
isn't he going a
little overboard?
286
00:14:42,615 --> 00:14:46,284
No, it's simple psychology.
Mom rejected him.
287
00:14:46,353 --> 00:14:48,797
So now his ego's telling him
that he's got to take her out
288
00:14:48,821 --> 00:14:51,356
if it's the last thing he does.
289
00:14:51,424 --> 00:14:52,664
Shirley?
290
00:14:53,860 --> 00:14:55,526
Oh, hi, Rueben.
Hello, Mr. Harper.
291
00:14:55,595 --> 00:14:56,772
ROGER: Morning. Morning.
292
00:14:56,796 --> 00:14:59,263
Uh, could we talk to
you a moment, please?
293
00:14:59,332 --> 00:15:00,598
All right.
294
00:15:01,767 --> 00:15:04,102
Laurie, the bacon's done.
295
00:15:04,170 --> 00:15:06,782
Shirley, Roger called me. We
really have to work something out.
296
00:15:06,806 --> 00:15:09,807
Mrs. Partridge, the Ambassador
doesn't know I'm here.
297
00:15:09,876 --> 00:15:11,876
Oh?
298
00:15:11,944 --> 00:15:14,123
This whole thing has
gotten out of hand.
299
00:15:14,147 --> 00:15:15,946
I agree.
300
00:15:16,016 --> 00:15:18,127
Mr. Lipton hasn't been
himself lately. Look at this.
301
00:15:18,151 --> 00:15:19,583
What is it?
302
00:15:19,652 --> 00:15:21,563
Well, that's a mutual trade pact
with France. Look at the bottom.
303
00:15:21,587 --> 00:15:22,798
He's doodled your name.
304
00:15:22,822 --> 00:15:24,255
I suppose I'm flattered.
305
00:15:24,324 --> 00:15:27,169
Well, you may be flattered, Mrs.
Partridge, but we're in trouble.
306
00:15:27,193 --> 00:15:30,928
We can't ask the President to sign
with "Shirley" doodled at the bottom.
307
00:15:30,997 --> 00:15:33,531
Shirley, couldn't
you reconsider?
308
00:15:35,068 --> 00:15:38,202
Mr. Harper, if it's that
important to Mr. Lipton,
309
00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:40,371
why doesn't he come
and talk to me himself?
310
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:43,541
(STUTTERING) You
mean in person? Yes.
311
00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:47,045
Yeah, well... But he's got people
who do that kind of thing for him.
312
00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:50,948
Then maybe some of those
people would like to go out with him.
313
00:15:52,052 --> 00:15:53,918
What's next?
314
00:15:53,986 --> 00:15:55,819
The gloxinia from Wales.
315
00:16:02,662 --> 00:16:05,763
Oh, Mom, it looks like we
have important company.
316
00:16:14,207 --> 00:16:18,176
Oh, how romantic.
Just you, Mr. Lipton,
317
00:16:18,244 --> 00:16:21,112
and six bodyguards.
See you later.
318
00:16:26,086 --> 00:16:27,285
Shirley.
319
00:16:29,055 --> 00:16:31,300
I see you got my
gloxinia from Wales.
320
00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:35,126
And the Tiki from Tahiti and the
chocolate duck from Germany.
321
00:16:35,195 --> 00:16:36,927
And everything else.
322
00:16:39,466 --> 00:16:43,568
Is there no way to
negotiate a settlement?
323
00:16:43,636 --> 00:16:46,504
You want to negotiate
for a date? I'm sorry.
324
00:16:46,573 --> 00:16:50,174
It's just that I'm always negotiating
with countries. When it comes to people,
325
00:16:50,243 --> 00:16:51,642
it's hard to break the habit.
326
00:16:51,711 --> 00:16:53,677
I'm sure it is.
327
00:16:53,746 --> 00:16:55,557
Do you realize that
you're the only woman
328
00:16:55,569 --> 00:16:57,615
that turned me down since
I became Ambassador?
329
00:16:57,683 --> 00:17:01,018
Do you realize you're the only
man that taken me to dinner
330
00:17:01,087 --> 00:17:03,454
and totally ignored
me since I was eight?
331
00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:06,690
I don't suppose you'd
give me a second chance?
332
00:17:08,495 --> 00:17:09,693
I might.
333
00:17:10,796 --> 00:17:12,830
Under the right conditions.
334
00:17:14,767 --> 00:17:17,045
What do you say to a guy
like Ambassador Lipton?
335
00:17:17,069 --> 00:17:18,981
I thought you
knew all about that.
336
00:17:19,005 --> 00:17:20,838
Yeah, I know how
to greet him, I mean,
337
00:17:20,906 --> 00:17:23,874
but how do you ask a man of
greatness to pass the potatoes?
338
00:17:23,943 --> 00:17:27,211
Oh, how about,
"Pass the potatoes"?
339
00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:29,780
This is a great man.
340
00:17:29,849 --> 00:17:33,049
How about, "Pass the
potatoes, Your Highness"?
341
00:17:33,853 --> 00:17:35,253
Cute.
342
00:17:35,321 --> 00:17:38,856
Look, Howard is coming
here to relax and be himself.
343
00:17:38,924 --> 00:17:40,802
I expect all of you
to do the same.
344
00:17:40,826 --> 00:17:42,360
(DOORBELL RINGING)
345
00:17:42,428 --> 00:17:44,662
All right. Try and be normal.
346
00:17:48,434 --> 00:17:51,001
Hello, Howard, come
in. Good evening.
347
00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:52,581
I think you remember
the children.
348
00:17:52,605 --> 00:17:54,238
Oh, yes, yes. Tracy, Chris...
349
00:17:54,307 --> 00:17:55,751
Hi. Hi.
350
00:17:55,775 --> 00:17:57,719
Laurie, Danny and
Keith. How are you? Hi.
351
00:17:57,743 --> 00:17:59,143
Your Highness.
352
00:17:59,212 --> 00:18:00,711
Mr. Cool.
353
00:18:00,780 --> 00:18:05,082
(SIGHING) That's not what I
meant to say. Just slipped out.
354
00:18:05,151 --> 00:18:09,053
What I meant to say was,
"How's it going, Howie?"
355
00:18:09,121 --> 00:18:10,988
That's too casual.
356
00:18:11,057 --> 00:18:15,959
No, no. That's why I'm here. To spend a
nice, quiet evening with very nice people.
357
00:18:16,028 --> 00:18:17,428
And Howard,
358
00:18:18,798 --> 00:18:20,898
no phones.
359
00:18:20,966 --> 00:18:25,736
Uh... Right. No phones.
360
00:18:25,805 --> 00:18:30,208
Uh, shouldn't I check in with Harper first?
There might be a small crisis somewhere.
361
00:18:30,276 --> 00:18:33,010
We negotiated this
dinner, remember?
362
00:18:35,081 --> 00:18:36,681
Right. Okay.
363
00:18:36,749 --> 00:18:39,328
Why don't you go into the living room
and relax while I go and cook dinner?
364
00:18:39,352 --> 00:18:40,685
Okay.
365
00:18:45,858 --> 00:18:47,018
Well.
366
00:18:51,698 --> 00:18:54,832
So, tell me. What's
Tricia really like?
367
00:19:00,306 --> 00:19:03,374
Oh, you know, I haven't heard
from my ulcer once this evening?
368
00:19:03,443 --> 00:19:05,454
Maybe it's going
through proper channels.
369
00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:08,546
(ALL LAUGHING)
370
00:19:08,615 --> 00:19:11,949
Oh, Shirley, you know, you're right.
This is the only way to enjoy yourself.
371
00:19:12,017 --> 00:19:14,619
Relax and leave all the
business at the office.
372
00:19:14,687 --> 00:19:17,087
I'm so glad to hear
you say that, Howard.
373
00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:19,923
And from now on, I'm going
to try to live by that rule.
374
00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:21,525
(PHONE RINGING)
375
00:19:21,594 --> 00:19:23,905
What's that? Oh, I
hope you don't mind.
376
00:19:23,929 --> 00:19:26,130
I put the phone back
on the hook. I'll get it.
377
00:19:26,198 --> 00:19:28,043
Howard? Now, it
might be important.
378
00:19:28,067 --> 00:19:30,534
It's probably
Argentina. Lipton here.
379
00:19:32,572 --> 00:19:34,171
Uh... Well, yes.
380
00:19:34,907 --> 00:19:36,974
Argentina?
381
00:19:37,042 --> 00:19:39,410
No, Skizzy. It's for Tracy.
382
00:19:41,147 --> 00:19:44,348
? Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
383
00:19:44,417 --> 00:19:46,617
(HOW LONG IS TOO LONG PLAYING)
384
00:19:52,659 --> 00:19:55,993
? You tell me you
are through with him
385
00:19:56,061 --> 00:19:59,797
? You'll soon be
free just to be with me
386
00:19:59,865 --> 00:20:02,199
? So I'll stay by the phone
387
00:20:04,870 --> 00:20:08,172
? I'm waitin'
every night at home
388
00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:11,008
? Watching TV shows, and honey
389
00:20:11,076 --> 00:20:14,612
? Heaven knows I'm always alone
390
00:20:17,583 --> 00:20:19,583
? Though you never call me
391
00:20:21,153 --> 00:20:24,655
? I keep on loving you
392
00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:28,626
? Hoping that if I do
you're gonna love me too
393
00:20:28,695 --> 00:20:32,830
? And I won't
have to wait too long
394
00:20:32,898 --> 00:20:36,801
? But how long is too long
395
00:20:36,869 --> 00:20:41,038
? Got to know you're
makin' me lose my mind
396
00:20:41,106 --> 00:20:44,775
? How long is too long
397
00:20:44,844 --> 00:20:49,012
? 'Cause, baby, I've
been waitin' a long, long time
398
00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:52,883
? Hung on for so long
399
00:20:52,952 --> 00:20:56,186
? Hopin' everything
will turn out okay
400
00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:57,295
ALL: ? Don't tell me
401
00:20:57,357 --> 00:21:00,924
KEITH: ? How long is too long
402
00:21:00,993 --> 00:21:04,261
? To sit around and
wait till you come my way
403
00:21:08,300 --> 00:21:11,369
? I see the way you look at him
404
00:21:11,437 --> 00:21:13,337
? When you're in a crowd
405
00:21:13,406 --> 00:21:15,473
? I know it makes him proud
406
00:21:15,541 --> 00:21:17,808
? While it's breakin' my heart
407
00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:23,981
? And all the time you tell me
408
00:21:24,049 --> 00:21:27,685
? To keep on lovin' you
409
00:21:27,754 --> 00:21:31,422
? And if I do you're
gonna love me too
410
00:21:31,491 --> 00:21:34,492
? And I won't
have to wait too long
411
00:21:35,661 --> 00:21:39,497
? How long is too long
412
00:21:39,565 --> 00:21:42,767
? To sit around and wait
till you come my way ?
413
00:22:04,757 --> 00:22:07,091
Up a little late,
last night, Mom?
414
00:22:08,327 --> 00:22:10,027
1:32 a.m.
415
00:22:11,964 --> 00:22:15,599
I just happened to be
up feeding my goldfish.
416
00:22:15,668 --> 00:22:17,501
Looks like it could get serious.
417
00:22:17,569 --> 00:22:20,009
We went for a drive
after the concert.
418
00:22:20,039 --> 00:22:22,050
Is that what you'd call serious?
419
00:22:22,074 --> 00:22:23,107
Did you hold hands?
420
00:22:23,176 --> 00:22:24,842
And make lovey-dovey eyes?
421
00:22:24,911 --> 00:22:27,192
And stop at Muldoon's Point?
422
00:22:28,014 --> 00:22:29,780
Okay, let's rehearse.
423
00:22:29,849 --> 00:22:31,059
Do you want to
start it off, Ricky?
424
00:22:31,083 --> 00:22:32,123
Yep.
425
00:22:32,151 --> 00:22:33,750
Okay, here you go.
426
00:22:38,624 --> 00:22:42,259
(WHAT KIND OF NOISE
DO YOU MAKE PLAYING)
427
00:22:42,328 --> 00:22:44,795
? What kind of noise do you make
428
00:22:46,032 --> 00:22:48,498
? What kind of noise do you make
429
00:22:49,468 --> 00:22:51,268
? If you just give it a try
430
00:22:51,337 --> 00:22:53,170
? You will see that you and I
431
00:22:53,239 --> 00:22:56,006
? Well, we've all got
some noise to make
432
00:22:56,976 --> 00:22:59,210
? There's no mistake
433
00:22:59,278 --> 00:23:04,581
? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
434
00:23:06,418 --> 00:23:08,285
? Now a frog makes a "ribbit"
435
00:23:08,354 --> 00:23:10,120
? And a dog makes a "bark"
436
00:23:10,189 --> 00:23:13,757
? I must tell you we're not
quite sure just what they mean
437
00:23:13,826 --> 00:23:15,559
? And a sheep makes a "Baa"
438
00:23:15,627 --> 00:23:17,561
? When he thinks
someone is there
439
00:23:17,629 --> 00:23:21,265
? And what kind
of noise do you make
440
00:23:21,334 --> 00:23:23,000
? I sing "Aaa"
441
00:23:23,069 --> 00:23:25,369
? And sheep go "Baa"
442
00:23:25,437 --> 00:23:30,774
? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
443
00:23:32,945 --> 00:23:36,680
? What kind of noise do you make
444
00:23:36,749 --> 00:23:40,317
? What kind of noise do you make
445
00:23:40,386 --> 00:23:41,919
? If you just give it a try
446
00:23:41,988 --> 00:23:43,653
? And you look into the sky
447
00:23:43,722 --> 00:23:47,057
? You will see that you and I
448
00:23:47,126 --> 00:23:52,229
? Well, we've all got
some noise to make
449
00:23:55,134 --> 00:23:59,703
? We've all got
some noise to make
450
00:23:59,772 --> 00:24:02,539
? Bum-pa-dum-pa-dum-pa-bum
bum-bum ?
451
00:24:03,842 --> 00:24:06,143
Bravo! Bravo!
452
00:24:06,212 --> 00:24:09,380
Howard. I thought you
were on your way to Brazil.
453
00:24:09,448 --> 00:24:11,581
I just couldn't leave
without saying goodbye
454
00:24:11,650 --> 00:24:14,985
and thanking you again
for a very, very nice evening.
455
00:24:16,255 --> 00:24:18,333
I hope you'll come
back whenever you can.
456
00:24:18,357 --> 00:24:20,391
Oh, yes, indeed.
457
00:24:20,459 --> 00:24:22,993
Shirley, I've
grown quite fond...
458
00:24:25,364 --> 00:24:29,866
Of San Pueblo. Yes, your mother
and I went sight-seeing last night.
459
00:24:29,936 --> 00:24:31,113
So we've heard.
460
00:24:31,137 --> 00:24:34,671
Saw all the sights.
One I especially liked.
461
00:24:34,740 --> 00:24:35,951
What was the name of that place?
462
00:24:35,975 --> 00:24:39,009
LAURIE: Muldoon's
Point? That's the place.
463
00:24:39,078 --> 00:24:41,511
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
464
00:24:41,580 --> 00:24:44,415
Did I say something
I shouldn't have?
465
00:24:45,584 --> 00:24:48,064
It's all right. It's all right.
466
00:24:49,305 --> 00:25:49,547
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467
00:25:49,597 --> 00:25:54,147
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