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The day ended like any other
day, traffic from hell
2
00:02:39,694 --> 00:02:44,666
after another dreary temp job.
Accountant temp work is
3
00:02:44,699 --> 00:02:46,901
a long slow death.
4
00:02:46,934 --> 00:02:49,904
Windowless rooms,
mindless data entry,
5
00:02:49,937 --> 00:02:53,541
and rooms with no heat,
I'm not a vampire.
6
00:02:53,574 --> 00:02:56,410
Accountants are
not faceless drones.
7
00:02:56,443 --> 00:02:58,913
Though to be honest, the
clowns they signed me to today
8
00:02:58,946 --> 00:03:03,183
were a bunch of lifeless
number crunching zombies.
9
00:03:04,819 --> 00:03:08,823
Oh well, home again,
home again, chickity chick.
10
00:03:36,416 --> 00:03:41,421
Home, be grateful for what
you have, that's what I say.
11
00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:48,963
Hi sweetie, watch the plastic.
12
00:03:48,996 --> 00:03:51,566
Honey, what are you doing?
13
00:03:51,599 --> 00:03:53,400
I couldn't just
sit around anymore,
14
00:03:53,433 --> 00:03:55,837
so I had to do something.
15
00:03:55,870 --> 00:03:58,338
You're repainting the house.
16
00:03:59,507 --> 00:04:03,010
I'm not so sure paint's
gonna help this place.
17
00:04:03,044 --> 00:04:05,646
Still got a lot of prep
work and taping to do,
18
00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:07,682
how was your day?
19
00:04:07,715 --> 00:04:10,885
It was fine, any
luck on your end?
20
00:04:11,418 --> 00:04:14,522
Nothing, no, no meetings.
21
00:04:14,555 --> 00:04:16,490
Uh, your brother called.
22
00:04:16,524 --> 00:04:18,425
What did Charlie want?
23
00:04:18,458 --> 00:04:20,728
What he always wants,
another conspiracy story.
24
00:04:20,762 --> 00:04:24,331
I hope he's not back
together with Vanessa again.
25
00:04:24,364 --> 00:04:26,299
She's not as weird
as the last one.
26
00:04:26,333 --> 00:04:28,603
True, she was a tramp.
27
00:04:28,636 --> 00:04:33,373
The word is skank, Shell,
he's too odd for a tramp.
28
00:04:34,642 --> 00:04:36,611
Anyway he said he
couldn't make dinner
29
00:04:36,644 --> 00:04:39,046
tomorrow something about a
meeting or something.
30
00:04:39,080 --> 00:04:41,281
Hmm.
31
00:04:44,585 --> 00:04:46,087
And so all was normal,
32
00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:48,355
Bill half reading, half
watching his geek show
33
00:04:48,388 --> 00:04:53,326
on some Roman legion blah
diddy blah, that's my man.
34
00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:55,863
One of these days I'll have
to call the cable company.
35
00:04:55,897 --> 00:04:58,633
They cancelled our service but
never actually turned it off.
36
00:04:58,666 --> 00:05:00,668
Eh, screw em.
37
00:05:01,736 --> 00:05:04,639
He hadn't written
a note in so long,
38
00:05:04,672 --> 00:05:08,576
Bill was such a romantic
before the job trouble.
39
00:05:08,609 --> 00:05:11,679
"Roses are red, violets
are blue, we maybe poor
40
00:05:11,712 --> 00:05:15,650
but I so love you, yours
through eternity, Bill.
41
00:05:15,683 --> 00:05:19,520
Aw, I love it Bill, thank you.
42
00:05:20,688 --> 00:05:22,422
I love you too.
43
00:05:22,455 --> 00:05:25,358
We're gonna work through
this, just like everything else.
44
00:05:25,392 --> 00:05:28,361
And I know your next job
is right around the corner.
45
00:05:28,395 --> 00:05:32,066
You are too good at what
you do for it not to be.
46
00:05:32,099 --> 00:05:34,068
Hey did you get the detergent?
47
00:05:36,403 --> 00:05:38,773
Hey, you think I
should get one of these?
48
00:05:38,806 --> 00:05:41,075
What? What are they hawking now?
49
00:05:41,108 --> 00:05:43,077
Waiting for it's next meal.
50
00:05:43,110 --> 00:05:47,081
Do something, be the hunter,
with hunter's friend,
51
00:05:47,114 --> 00:05:51,619
the all new, all natural, and
all organic male enhancement
52
00:05:51,652 --> 00:05:53,788
from Somoco Inc.
53
00:05:53,821 --> 00:05:55,723
Bill you hunt just fine.
54
00:05:55,756 --> 00:05:56,891
Did you get the, uh...
55
00:05:56,924 --> 00:06:00,561
Detergent, yeah
it's on the washer.
56
00:06:00,595 --> 00:06:02,897
Like I said, same old, same old.
57
00:06:02,930 --> 00:06:04,031
We're connected,
58
00:06:04,065 --> 00:06:05,700
we finish each other sentences,
59
00:06:05,733 --> 00:06:08,135
nothing could keep us apart.
60
00:06:09,570 --> 00:06:11,639
Damn spiders!
61
00:06:11,672 --> 00:06:14,642
Ugh! I hate creepy things, Bill.
62
00:06:14,675 --> 00:06:17,111
Yeah, I'll clean that up.
63
00:06:38,599 --> 00:06:42,136
Amazing how fast
eight years goes by.
64
00:06:48,509 --> 00:06:53,014
Honey, can you go check the
backdoor, see if it's locked?
65
00:06:53,047 --> 00:06:56,817
I think there's some kids
out there or something.
66
00:06:56,851 --> 00:06:58,986
Okay.
67
00:07:03,190 --> 00:07:07,862
Probably another opossum,
don't worry sweetie,
68
00:07:07,895 --> 00:07:09,897
I got this.
69
00:07:26,013 --> 00:07:29,684
Turn over, you're snoring again.
70
00:07:35,056 --> 00:07:38,059
Bill?
71
00:07:40,227 --> 00:07:43,496
Ah!
72
00:07:52,006 --> 00:07:55,209
Here's a tip,
someone breaks into your house,
73
00:07:55,242 --> 00:07:59,013
the first thing you grab
shouldn't be a puzzle box.
74
00:07:59,046 --> 00:08:04,051
No one is afraid of puzzles,
anyway I keep going.
75
00:08:04,251 --> 00:08:06,754
I figure a stupid homeless
dude broke in for food
76
00:08:06,787 --> 00:08:11,592
or the flat screen.
And that's when I see them.
77
00:08:11,625 --> 00:08:14,762
I look down, it's Bill!
78
00:08:14,795 --> 00:08:16,964
You ever have a dream
where you try to scream
79
00:08:16,998 --> 00:08:20,034
but nothing comes
out, Bill lay dead.
80
00:08:20,067 --> 00:08:23,671
He killed him with our
only decent carving knife.
81
00:08:48,295 --> 00:08:49,830
It keeps coming so fast!
82
00:08:49,864 --> 00:08:52,099
It was like a deranged shark.
83
00:09:12,319 --> 00:09:14,955
Everything blurred as I
passed out, but I swear
84
00:09:14,989 --> 00:09:18,659
I thought I saw him take
a bite of the brain.
85
00:09:24,799 --> 00:09:27,802
Each side found itself trapped.
86
00:09:34,275 --> 00:09:37,311
After several weeks
of skirmishes and faltering end
87
00:09:37,344 --> 00:09:40,014
runs, the southern
forces began to rally
88
00:09:40,047 --> 00:09:41,315
on the night of the ninth.
89
00:09:41,348 --> 00:09:42,383
Bill?
90
00:09:42,416 --> 00:09:45,386
By morning, the
northern generals realized
91
00:09:45,419 --> 00:09:48,622
they were facing
possible defeat.
92
00:09:49,356 --> 00:09:51,692
Beginning with a
volley of cannon fire.
93
00:09:51,725 --> 00:09:53,894
Can you close the blinds Shell?
94
00:09:53,928 --> 00:09:57,898
You've been a busy
bee, look at this place.
95
00:09:58,999 --> 00:10:02,203
Can you turn off the
lights, I'm just so tired.
96
00:10:02,236 --> 00:10:06,307
Aw, of course you are sweetie,
what time did you wake up?
97
00:10:07,308 --> 00:10:10,678
I had the craziest
dream last night.
98
00:10:10,711 --> 00:10:14,882
I-uh-It's more of a nightmare
really, I never have nightmares.
99
00:10:16,016 --> 00:10:20,020
Last night you were dead and I-
Ooh...
100
00:10:21,755 --> 00:10:26,427
Boy, I need some
coffee and aspirin bad.
101
00:10:26,460 --> 00:10:28,095
You want me to make you some?
102
00:10:28,129 --> 00:10:29,797
Mm.
103
00:10:30,931 --> 00:10:33,934
Crazy stuff.
104
00:10:48,415 --> 00:10:51,285
Bill, why did you?
105
00:10:56,090 --> 00:10:58,425
Bill, sweetie?
106
00:10:59,260 --> 00:11:01,262
We gotta talk.
107
00:11:03,964 --> 00:11:05,966
Bill, wake up.
108
00:11:06,433 --> 00:11:08,402
Bill, oh my God, get up Bill.
109
00:11:08,435 --> 00:11:11,472
You're hurt, oh my God,
Bill, wake up we're gonna take
110
00:11:11,506 --> 00:11:13,741
you to the hospital,
please don't die on me baby.
111
00:11:13,774 --> 00:11:15,776
You're so cold, oh my God.
112
00:11:15,809 --> 00:11:20,814
I'm so-, in-, see and-, oh -
113
00:11:21,015 --> 00:11:22,750
Oh hi, Shell.
114
00:11:22,783 --> 00:11:24,285
Hi
115
00:11:24,318 --> 00:11:27,821
I'm so tired, what time is it?
116
00:11:27,855 --> 00:11:30,491
Oh right, yeah I think
I can explain that,
117
00:11:30,525 --> 00:11:32,426
it's all a little blurry but...
118
00:11:32,459 --> 00:11:34,195
Honey, you look like crap,
119
00:11:34,228 --> 00:11:36,063
and that wound is
horrible what happened?
120
00:11:36,096 --> 00:11:39,733
Oh this, it doesn't
really hurt or anything.
121
00:11:39,767 --> 00:11:42,036
But, I am quite tired.
122
00:11:42,069 --> 00:11:44,438
You're so cold, I
mean really really cold.
123
00:11:44,471 --> 00:11:46,740
No, no, no it's okay
I'm fine, no blanket.
124
00:11:46,774 --> 00:11:50,444
Maybe just some hydrogen
peroxide or something for this.
125
00:11:50,477 --> 00:11:53,214
Maybe the Jenson's dog bit me.
126
00:11:53,247 --> 00:11:56,083
I'm pretty sure that's a-
127
00:11:56,116 --> 00:12:00,454
a human tooth.
128
00:12:00,487 --> 00:12:03,824
Your wound looks really
bad, it's gonna need stitches.
129
00:12:03,857 --> 00:12:04,825
Let's go to the ER.
130
00:12:04,858 --> 00:12:08,329
On a Sunday, it'll be
a horror show, weirdos...
131
00:12:08,362 --> 00:12:12,833
And doctors we
can afford, let's go.
132
00:12:14,969 --> 00:12:18,339
Okay, I'm gonna need a minute.
133
00:12:26,247 --> 00:12:27,314
Bill?
134
00:12:41,529 --> 00:12:44,231
I ate him for you.
135
00:12:51,138 --> 00:12:52,507
I could've sworn I killed him,
136
00:12:52,540 --> 00:12:54,108
and that's when I called you.
137
00:12:54,141 --> 00:12:56,143
Okay, I thought that
you were making this up,
138
00:12:56,176 --> 00:12:59,046
but he's actually
sucking the thumb.
139
00:12:59,079 --> 00:13:02,049
Do you have any rope,
duct tape, a machete?
140
00:13:02,082 --> 00:13:04,184
I should get his C-PAP mask.
141
00:13:04,218 --> 00:13:06,186
His sleep apnea
is not the issue.
142
00:13:06,220 --> 00:13:07,154
He could die in his sleep.
143
00:13:07,187 --> 00:13:09,056
Shelly, he's sucking
a thumb that isn't his.
144
00:13:09,089 --> 00:13:10,124
Yes, yes but...
145
00:13:10,157 --> 00:13:11,526
Where is the rest of the corpse?
146
00:13:11,559 --> 00:13:13,394
That's a good question.
147
00:13:13,427 --> 00:13:15,896
All I found was a
suit, no bones no blood,
148
00:13:15,929 --> 00:13:19,534
no wallet, nothing,
but I did find this.
149
00:13:19,567 --> 00:13:22,903
Okay, that is disgusting.
150
00:13:22,936 --> 00:13:25,105
Guy never brushed.
151
00:13:25,573 --> 00:13:28,543
Okay, when he wakes up we are
going straight to the hospital.
152
00:13:28,576 --> 00:13:31,312
Yeah and then they ask what
happened and call the police
153
00:13:31,345 --> 00:13:33,113
and he goes to jail for murder.
154
00:13:33,147 --> 00:13:34,549
Cannibalism as self defense.
155
00:13:34,582 --> 00:13:35,684
Semantics.
156
00:13:35,717 --> 00:13:38,085
No it's like stand your
ground, only eat your ground.
157
00:13:38,118 --> 00:13:42,089
Okay, with no body once he's
done with dessert, he's clear.
158
00:13:42,122 --> 00:13:44,958
And then what, I tell the
doctor that he got bit by a dog
159
00:13:44,992 --> 00:13:46,293
or an opossum?
160
00:13:46,327 --> 00:13:49,196
Shelly, this bastard
was trying to kill you, okay?
161
00:13:49,229 --> 00:13:51,265
Bill was just
protecting his wife.
162
00:13:51,298 --> 00:13:54,569
He ripped the guys
brain out and ate it.
163
00:13:54,602 --> 00:13:56,937
I saw him.
164
00:13:56,970 --> 00:13:57,970
I need a drink.
165
00:13:58,972 --> 00:13:59,907
Oh shit!
166
00:13:59,940 --> 00:14:01,580
This guy just tried
to eat me, did you see
167
00:14:01,609 --> 00:14:03,444
this bastard is
trying to eat me.
168
00:14:03,477 --> 00:14:07,014
Dear, dear wake up dear come on.
169
00:14:07,047 --> 00:14:08,949
I seem to have
fallen asleep again.
170
00:14:08,982 --> 00:14:13,588
Jesus, it smells like you
ate the ass end of a cow Bill.
171
00:14:13,621 --> 00:14:15,623
No, a banker I think.
172
00:14:15,657 --> 00:14:18,325
Don't... Don't worry guys I'm
really feeling much better,
173
00:14:18,359 --> 00:14:22,597
like I just drank 10 Red Bulls,
I feel invigorated, strong.
174
00:14:22,630 --> 00:14:25,032
You also smell strong
honey, so why don't you go
175
00:14:25,065 --> 00:14:28,035
take a shower and we can talk
about why you ate a banker
176
00:14:28,068 --> 00:14:29,303
when you're clean.
177
00:14:29,336 --> 00:14:33,173
Oh, uhf, yeah
that's not right, ugh.
178
00:14:33,207 --> 00:14:34,174
I'll be back.
179
00:14:34,208 --> 00:14:37,679
I'll take that dear, oh!
180
00:14:37,712 --> 00:14:40,147
I warned you about marrying him.
181
00:14:42,650 --> 00:14:47,121
Oh there's a little bit
of banker still back there.
182
00:14:50,023 --> 00:14:51,358
There we are.
183
00:14:51,392 --> 00:14:54,428
He saved my life, that is love.
184
00:14:55,262 --> 00:14:57,599
Twisted sure, but love.
185
00:14:59,032 --> 00:15:00,110
Shelly, what are you doing?
186
00:15:00,134 --> 00:15:05,205
Okay. Looks good, that
looks good, alright I got this.
187
00:15:05,239 --> 00:15:08,409
Cleaning is not the answer.
188
00:15:23,691 --> 00:15:25,660
He's obviously just fine.
189
00:15:25,693 --> 00:15:30,665
Listen, he's humming, what
sick man hums in the shower?
190
00:15:30,698 --> 00:15:33,133
Ow. Hey, ow, Jesus,
191
00:15:33,167 --> 00:15:35,537
honey did you turn
the water heater up?
192
00:15:35,570 --> 00:15:37,639
Wow this water is crazy hot.
193
00:15:37,672 --> 00:15:40,207
No dear, you okay?
194
00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:42,677
Yeah, I'll be fine.
195
00:15:42,710 --> 00:15:46,681
Uh, a little early for
that don't you think?
196
00:15:46,714 --> 00:15:49,016
You know, you
better double bag that,
197
00:15:49,049 --> 00:15:53,420
you don't want the
neighbor's dog getting after it.
198
00:15:59,426 --> 00:16:02,129
So he got a little hungry.
199
00:16:02,162 --> 00:16:04,331
Yeah,
200
00:16:04,364 --> 00:16:06,500
finger licking good.
201
00:16:06,534 --> 00:16:09,369
Funny.
202
00:16:14,475 --> 00:16:18,713
Okay, so it wasn't a dream,
that guy really did attack me.
203
00:16:18,746 --> 00:16:22,717
Shelly stop look, this
is what happened okay?
204
00:16:22,750 --> 00:16:26,420
Some ass wipe busts into
your house and jumps you
205
00:16:26,453 --> 00:16:29,256
alright, the blood, Bill
ripping the guys brains out
206
00:16:29,289 --> 00:16:30,658
and eating them,
207
00:16:30,692 --> 00:16:33,227
no, stop, that never happened.
208
00:16:33,260 --> 00:16:35,697
Look, okay,
209
00:16:35,730 --> 00:16:40,467
Bill despite being a
lazy ass, jumped the guy.
210
00:16:40,502 --> 00:16:44,506
Ok. Cuts his hand off, and
then you know just used it
211
00:16:44,539 --> 00:16:45,507
as a chew toy.
212
00:16:45,540 --> 00:16:46,608
Oh god.
213
00:16:46,641 --> 00:16:49,042
Okay but the dream is
just your PTSD dealing with
214
00:16:49,076 --> 00:16:51,044
seeing all this shit alright?
215
00:16:51,078 --> 00:16:53,447
Now there's some
naked one handed weirdo
216
00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:54,448
running around town.
217
00:16:54,481 --> 00:16:57,752
Right, a naked one handed man.
218
00:16:57,785 --> 00:17:00,087
You can't explain this away.
219
00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:01,756
I don't know, what-
220
00:17:01,789 --> 00:17:04,759
Bill's subconscious
told him to eat it?
221
00:17:04,792 --> 00:17:06,093
What are you trying to say,
222
00:17:06,126 --> 00:17:09,296
you trying to say
Bill's a cannibal?
223
00:17:19,406 --> 00:17:22,476
Die you piece of shit!
224
00:17:22,510 --> 00:17:24,779
It did happen, it did it did!
225
00:17:24,812 --> 00:17:28,282
I told you, Bill is a cannibal!
226
00:17:28,315 --> 00:17:32,787
No, Bill is not a cannibal...
227
00:17:32,820 --> 00:17:34,689
he's a zombie.
228
00:17:38,158 --> 00:17:41,161
Light.
229
00:17:41,596 --> 00:17:43,598
I am damn hungry though?
230
00:17:43,631 --> 00:17:46,668
Sweetie, we got any
meat, I feel like meat.
231
00:17:46,701 --> 00:17:48,803
Ever have a craving for meat?
232
00:17:48,836 --> 00:17:51,305
Man I could eat a moose.
233
00:17:53,641 --> 00:17:57,477
Beer, yes.
234
00:18:04,217 --> 00:18:09,156
Ah, hot, hot
it burns, these are spicy.
235
00:18:09,189 --> 00:18:11,258
I think they've gone bad.
236
00:18:13,728 --> 00:18:16,296
Oh god beer's gone
bad too, yuck.
237
00:18:17,331 --> 00:18:21,201
Ah, maybe just some meat.
238
00:18:26,473 --> 00:18:28,475
Yeah.
239
00:18:30,578 --> 00:18:33,815
Bill, that is raw sausage.
240
00:18:42,657 --> 00:18:44,926
Okay now that's gross.
241
00:18:44,959 --> 00:18:47,227
Why don't you go
put some clothes on
242
00:18:47,260 --> 00:18:51,264
and we can figure
out what to do, okay?
243
00:18:52,199 --> 00:18:54,267
That is disgusting,
you need to get him
244
00:18:54,301 --> 00:18:55,469
to a doctor.
245
00:18:55,503 --> 00:18:59,272
Or one of those guys in the
white Hazmat anthrax suits.
246
00:18:59,306 --> 00:19:03,343
I can hear you Carrie,
I am standing right here.
247
00:19:05,680 --> 00:19:08,415
I'm fine, I'm just gonna
turn on the history channel
248
00:19:08,448 --> 00:19:10,417
and watch the Nazis lose again.
249
00:19:15,355 --> 00:19:16,891
According to the
science channel,
250
00:19:16,924 --> 00:19:19,426
nerves can stay alive for days.
251
00:19:19,459 --> 00:19:21,562
Shelly, I think he was bit okay?
252
00:19:21,596 --> 00:19:23,765
That means he's
infected as well.
253
00:19:23,798 --> 00:19:27,267
A cannibalism virus,
that's SciFi channel,
254
00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:29,302
or Fox news.
255
00:19:29,937 --> 00:19:31,673
What, what are you gonna say?
256
00:19:31,706 --> 00:19:33,541
We've got this murderous hand
257
00:19:33,574 --> 00:19:35,743
we're just shoving
into the disposal?
258
00:19:35,777 --> 00:19:38,680
Well then what do we do,
we should call someone?
259
00:19:38,713 --> 00:19:40,380
No.
260
00:19:42,650 --> 00:19:46,621
You called me, okay,
that's as far as this goes.
261
00:19:46,654 --> 00:19:51,425
What are you gonna do,
call the police, yeah right?
262
00:19:51,458 --> 00:19:53,460
I don't know Carrie.
263
00:19:56,296 --> 00:19:57,765
Hey!
264
00:19:57,799 --> 00:20:00,802
We quit together, remember?
265
00:20:03,838 --> 00:20:05,840
Tummy.
266
00:20:20,287 --> 00:20:25,258
Okay, that's it, done, no
evidence, no nothing alright?
267
00:20:25,292 --> 00:20:26,326
Uh huh.
Deal?
268
00:20:26,359 --> 00:20:27,762
Uh huh.
269
00:20:29,530 --> 00:20:31,632
Valium's still in the bathroom?
270
00:20:31,666 --> 00:20:33,668
Upper cabinet left.
271
00:20:48,015 --> 00:20:50,383
The mission
was a complete success
272
00:20:50,417 --> 00:20:53,988
thus ensuring the
destruction of the Nazi rail gun
273
00:20:54,021 --> 00:20:56,991
and the threat to
England and it's allies.
274
00:20:57,024 --> 00:20:59,894
Join us next week as we
explore how the Allies
275
00:20:59,927 --> 00:21:04,565
broke the enigma code and
how a single spy named Garbo
276
00:21:04,599 --> 00:21:09,604
deceived the entire Third Reich
on the beaches of Normandy.
277
00:21:28,055 --> 00:21:30,357
Hey, what happens next?
278
00:21:30,390 --> 00:21:32,392
We're out of raw
meat and Jimmy Deans.
279
00:21:32,425 --> 00:21:35,428
I'm fine, just tired is all.
280
00:21:36,063 --> 00:21:37,665
I know what I am.
281
00:21:37,698 --> 00:21:40,535
We are all animals deep
down and last night,
282
00:21:40,568 --> 00:21:43,037
when our lives were on
the line I went primal.
283
00:21:43,070 --> 00:21:46,707
Just total
caveman, that's it, yeah,
284
00:21:46,741 --> 00:21:49,043
it's the true caveman diet.
285
00:21:49,076 --> 00:21:51,646
Yeah, is that uh, is
that National Geographic,
286
00:21:51,679 --> 00:21:53,815
or was that like
Discovery Channel diet?
287
00:21:53,848 --> 00:21:57,118
I'm serious, someone
was attacking my woman.
288
00:21:57,151 --> 00:22:00,988
My woman, so I
took them out, bam.
289
00:22:01,022 --> 00:22:03,758
Yeah, more like chomp
chomp, where's the ketchup.
290
00:22:03,791 --> 00:22:05,059
It's not funny.
291
00:22:05,092 --> 00:22:09,396
It's okay, go ahead and
laugh, I know who I am.
292
00:22:09,429 --> 00:22:11,766
No one touches my baby.
293
00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:14,467
No one.
294
00:22:14,502 --> 00:22:16,504
You're really cold.
295
00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:22,677
Jesus, you're
sticky and clammy too.
296
00:22:22,710 --> 00:22:25,813
No, stop it, you guys
are the ones that are hot.
297
00:22:25,847 --> 00:22:28,883
Your hands are scalding. What?
298
00:22:28,916 --> 00:22:31,986
Just stay there, I'm
getting the thermometer.
299
00:22:35,122 --> 00:22:36,924
Well.
300
00:22:36,958 --> 00:22:38,491
Whoa, whoa, take it easy tiger.
301
00:22:38,526 --> 00:22:40,528
I'm fine.
302
00:22:50,838 --> 00:22:53,841
Aren't you doctor mommy?
303
00:22:54,809 --> 00:22:56,744
I think it's broken
304
00:22:56,777 --> 00:22:59,780
Here let me...
Let me see. You try.
305
00:23:02,149 --> 00:23:04,685
I don't.
306
00:23:08,089 --> 00:23:09,757
We're going to the ER right now.
307
00:23:09,790 --> 00:23:11,659
Poison!
308
00:23:11,692 --> 00:23:13,961
Spit it out, spit it out!
309
00:23:18,232 --> 00:23:20,568
Ah! Hot, hot, it burns.
310
00:23:20,601 --> 00:23:23,137
Carrie go get the
ipecac, it's on the top shelf
311
00:23:23,170 --> 00:23:24,138
next to the Valium.
312
00:23:24,171 --> 00:23:25,172
Got it.
313
00:23:27,808 --> 00:23:29,977
Don't swallow, just rinse.
314
00:23:30,711 --> 00:23:32,146
Oh, honey!
315
00:23:32,179 --> 00:23:34,749
Oh god, too hot, too
hot, what was that?
316
00:23:34,782 --> 00:23:36,017
Jesus Shelly, no more water.
317
00:23:36,050 --> 00:23:38,552
It's straight from the tap.
318
00:23:38,586 --> 00:23:40,621
See it's just fine.
319
00:23:42,957 --> 00:23:44,959
Ah Jesus.
320
00:23:47,895 --> 00:23:49,897
Ah... That's better.
321
00:23:51,198 --> 00:23:52,700
Shelly I couldn't find it.
322
00:23:52,733 --> 00:23:55,736
It's in the, uh...
Fine you watch him.
323
00:24:16,557 --> 00:24:19,126
Carrie, guys I'll
be right there.
324
00:24:24,932 --> 00:24:26,701
Bill!
325
00:24:26,734 --> 00:24:30,638
No, no eating Carrie,
oh my god, oh god.
326
00:24:30,671 --> 00:24:33,674
No, bad, did you do this?
327
00:24:33,941 --> 00:24:35,743
No, no she fell.
328
00:24:35,776 --> 00:24:37,812
I swear I don't know
what came over me,
329
00:24:37,845 --> 00:24:39,280
I'm just so damn hungry.
330
00:24:39,313 --> 00:24:41,215
She was lying there
bleeding and I just...
331
00:24:48,255 --> 00:24:49,557
- Hello?
- Hello.
332
00:24:49,590 --> 00:24:50,825
Hello.
333
00:24:50,858 --> 00:24:52,636
This is a courtesy
call from your gas company.
334
00:24:52,660 --> 00:24:56,063
Without further payment,
your service at one, one, four
335
00:24:56,097 --> 00:24:57,631
south Milo street will be...
336
00:24:57,665 --> 00:24:58,766
That sucks.
337
00:24:58,799 --> 00:25:00,601
Carrie, easy.
338
00:25:00,634 --> 00:25:02,103
You were going to eat my brains.
339
00:25:02,136 --> 00:25:06,540
No I was a little out of my
mind, I was just so hungry.
340
00:25:14,715 --> 00:25:16,784
You expecting someone?
341
00:25:16,817 --> 00:25:21,789
No, Shelly, tell
them we're eating.
342
00:25:21,822 --> 00:25:23,224
Okay.
343
00:25:27,762 --> 00:25:32,733
I know you're home guys,
come on, I have a key remember.
344
00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:36,203
Don't make me call the sheriff.
345
00:25:38,973 --> 00:25:40,975
Just pay the rent.
346
00:25:44,645 --> 00:25:46,914
I'm sorry, I'm indisposed.
347
00:25:46,947 --> 00:25:50,284
Don't make me call the
sheriff, just pay the rent.
348
00:25:50,317 --> 00:25:53,687
Any part of the rent.
You're three months back.
349
00:25:53,721 --> 00:25:55,289
You were trying to
break into our home.
350
00:25:55,322 --> 00:25:57,725
No, well yes.
351
00:25:57,758 --> 00:26:00,594
The lease says I
can for just cause.
352
00:26:00,628 --> 00:26:03,297
So just let me in Ms. Sampler.
353
00:26:04,331 --> 00:26:06,834
Guys, go hide, I'll handle this.
354
00:26:06,867 --> 00:26:09,637
But we don't have the money.
355
00:26:09,670 --> 00:26:11,138
Don't look at me.
356
00:26:11,172 --> 00:26:12,907
Carrie, wipe your nose.
357
00:26:12,940 --> 00:26:15,643
And Bill, your ear is leaking.
358
00:26:17,344 --> 00:26:20,347
You guys, go, go, go, go go!
359
00:26:26,220 --> 00:26:29,023
Alright,
I'm calling the sheriff.
360
00:26:29,056 --> 00:26:31,325
I'm sorry for the
delay Mr. Scourge,
361
00:26:31,358 --> 00:26:34,061
I had to get presentable.
362
00:26:37,364 --> 00:26:40,668
I know we owe
you a little money.
363
00:26:40,701 --> 00:26:43,938
Yuck, what are you doing?
364
00:26:44,738 --> 00:26:46,640
Who said you could paint?
365
00:26:46,674 --> 00:26:49,276
There goes the security deposit.
366
00:26:53,380 --> 00:26:57,818
What we have here Ms.
Sampler is an impasse
367
00:26:57,852 --> 00:27:00,888
that can only be resolved
with the payment of money.
368
00:27:00,921 --> 00:27:03,891
You're coming in here to
steal something weren't you?
369
00:27:03,924 --> 00:27:06,360
You're not a nice man.
370
00:27:06,393 --> 00:27:08,863
I'm not the thief here.
371
00:27:09,830 --> 00:27:13,434
I pay my bills, it's time for
you to pay your rent or else.
372
00:27:13,467 --> 00:27:16,704
On Friday you're gonna
be four months behind.
373
00:27:16,737 --> 00:27:17,771
N-No, Uh...
374
00:27:19,406 --> 00:27:22,810
Y-you said three months
a-and we don't have it Marvin.
375
00:27:22,843 --> 00:27:23,978
May I call you Marvin?
376
00:27:24,011 --> 00:27:26,881
No, no you may
not call me Marvin.
377
00:27:28,482 --> 00:27:32,286
Fine, fine, maybe
we can make a deal.
378
00:27:32,853 --> 00:27:37,858
Do you have any gold, jewelry,
maybe an expensive watch?
379
00:27:40,861 --> 00:27:42,763
Where's your husband?
380
00:27:42,796 --> 00:27:47,401
No he's out on business
all day, making money.
381
00:27:47,434 --> 00:27:51,238
Oh yeah, you know
a little makeup - you could be
382
00:27:53,841 --> 00:27:56,744
a very pretty woman,
you know you got this little
383
00:27:56,777 --> 00:27:58,946
naughty librarian
thing going on.
384
00:27:58,979 --> 00:28:01,482
I find it very intriguing.
385
00:28:01,516 --> 00:28:04,485
Uh... Okay you need to go now.
386
00:28:04,519 --> 00:28:07,087
Like you said,
I'm not a nice man.
387
00:28:07,121 --> 00:28:09,290
And I'm not leaving
'til I get something.
388
00:28:09,323 --> 00:28:11,425
I'll write you a
check, post dated.
389
00:28:11,458 --> 00:28:13,894
No, I'd rather collect now.
390
00:28:15,062 --> 00:28:19,300
Whoa, looky here.
391
00:28:19,333 --> 00:28:21,435
Why would you hold out on me?
392
00:28:21,468 --> 00:28:23,270
That's not-uh.
393
00:28:23,304 --> 00:28:25,839
There's enough money
here to cover your rent.
394
00:28:25,873 --> 00:28:29,243
So we just have to deal with
the late penalty charges,
395
00:28:29,276 --> 00:28:31,278
we can barter for those.
396
00:28:32,479 --> 00:28:35,816
No, hey, hey, get-get off of me.
397
00:28:35,849 --> 00:28:37,818
Nobody touches my wife.
398
00:28:52,366 --> 00:28:55,135
Honey, honey-
you just ate a guy.
399
00:28:56,303 --> 00:28:58,172
Close your eyes baby,
400
00:28:58,205 --> 00:29:02,142
that much meat would
make anybody sleepy.
401
00:29:03,944 --> 00:29:06,947
Always liked Italian.
402
00:29:15,055 --> 00:29:18,959
Your husband just ate
a man in like 10 seconds.
403
00:29:18,993 --> 00:29:21,529
He is impressive,
sanitize when you're done,
404
00:29:21,563 --> 00:29:23,297
that's a food prep area.
405
00:29:23,330 --> 00:29:28,135
I deserve a cut of that,
this is gonna scar me for life.
406
00:29:28,168 --> 00:29:30,271
There's mouthwash
under the sink.
407
00:29:30,304 --> 00:29:34,141
Six hundred, 20, 40,
you might want to floss.
408
00:30:14,248 --> 00:30:16,917
I shoved both
bags to the bottom.
409
00:30:16,950 --> 00:30:18,452
Dumpster was full.
410
00:30:20,087 --> 00:30:22,256
I feel filthy.
411
00:30:25,593 --> 00:30:27,227
I think we need to face facts.
412
00:30:27,261 --> 00:30:28,262
Yeah.
413
00:30:29,597 --> 00:30:30,931
We need to call the cops.
414
00:30:30,964 --> 00:30:32,966
Bill is a zombie.
415
00:30:33,601 --> 00:30:35,436
Carrie what do I do?
416
00:30:35,469 --> 00:30:38,172
We tie him up and we get help.
417
00:30:38,205 --> 00:30:39,907
He's the love of my life.
418
00:30:39,940 --> 00:30:40,908
He's sick.
419
00:30:40,941 --> 00:30:42,309
He protected me.
420
00:30:42,343 --> 00:30:44,144
Shelly he eats people,
421
00:30:44,178 --> 00:30:47,314
like-like... really fast
and licks his fingers.
422
00:30:47,348 --> 00:30:50,217
And the rent is taken
care of maybe forever.
423
00:30:50,250 --> 00:30:52,453
He ate the landlord
before he went to the bank,
424
00:30:52,486 --> 00:30:54,288
I don't think that counts.
425
00:30:54,321 --> 00:30:57,291
Good point, I'll make
a deposit in the morning.
426
00:30:57,324 --> 00:31:01,061
Shelly you... you are
married to the living dead.
427
00:31:01,095 --> 00:31:05,232
He's a zombie or a cannibal,
either way this is wrong.
428
00:31:05,265 --> 00:31:07,602
And you're the zombie expert.
429
00:31:07,635 --> 00:31:09,970
What are we gonna
do when he attacks us?
430
00:31:10,003 --> 00:31:12,607
That is impossible,
Bill would never touch me.
431
00:31:12,640 --> 00:31:14,942
We have been together
since the seventh grade.
432
00:31:14,975 --> 00:31:19,079
Okay, this is gonna
be really hard for you
433
00:31:19,113 --> 00:31:21,482
but we have to drive a
stake through his heart.
434
00:31:21,516 --> 00:31:23,518
That's vampires!
435
00:31:24,084 --> 00:31:28,055
Okay, then we gotta crush
him in a printing press,
436
00:31:28,088 --> 00:31:29,490
or chop off his
head, I don't know.
437
00:31:29,524 --> 00:31:33,894
Ew and that's robots,
and I will not kill Bill.
438
00:31:35,095 --> 00:31:38,098
Put the mace down.
439
00:31:40,968 --> 00:31:44,004
Do you think the Rolex is real?
440
00:31:44,037 --> 00:31:46,173
No.
Hmm.
441
00:31:46,206 --> 00:31:48,976
Okay there could be more
zombies coming right now.
442
00:31:49,009 --> 00:31:52,179
I mean this-this could be
like a whole zombie invasion.
443
00:31:52,212 --> 00:31:55,650
No those diamonds are real.
444
00:31:55,683 --> 00:31:59,353
Well whatever the case,
Bill is our protector.
445
00:31:59,386 --> 00:32:00,988
He is my zombie bodyguard.
446
00:32:01,021 --> 00:32:02,956
Yeah, until he's hungry again.
447
00:32:02,990 --> 00:32:04,659
Okay I'm telling
you this right now,
448
00:32:04,692 --> 00:32:06,661
I'm not going to be
someone's last supper.
449
00:32:06,694 --> 00:32:09,664
Carrie, I married him
for better or for worse,
450
00:32:09,697 --> 00:32:12,199
that means
whether he has the flu
451
00:32:12,232 --> 00:32:16,538
or the hunger or
something gross like that skin
452
00:32:16,571 --> 00:32:18,105
rotting off disease.
453
00:32:18,138 --> 00:32:19,406
Ebola?
454
00:32:20,073 --> 00:32:22,677
My husband is in
there, and when he wakes,
455
00:32:22,710 --> 00:32:27,715
he's gonna want to eat.
456
00:32:34,054 --> 00:32:36,056
I'll be right back.
457
00:32:49,269 --> 00:32:51,038
Alright, there you go.
458
00:32:51,071 --> 00:32:54,642
Thank you Jack, you
guys are a lifesaver,
459
00:32:54,676 --> 00:32:56,143
seriously though.
460
00:32:56,176 --> 00:32:58,178
No problem.
461
00:33:08,690 --> 00:33:12,125
May I help you with your meat?
462
00:33:12,159 --> 00:33:14,127
'Scuse me?
463
00:33:14,161 --> 00:33:15,663
Don't often see a milf like you
464
00:33:15,697 --> 00:33:18,198
on a Sunday buying so much meat.
465
00:33:18,232 --> 00:33:22,269
A what? Who even says
that? I'm not even a...
466
00:33:22,302 --> 00:33:24,404
None of your damn business.
467
00:33:24,438 --> 00:33:28,208
I find a few gray
hairs on a woman sexy.
468
00:33:28,242 --> 00:33:29,577
Really?
469
00:33:30,477 --> 00:33:34,816
Think you could satisfy
a deep animal hunger,
470
00:33:34,849 --> 00:33:39,052
or are you just a
flabby hunk of meat?
471
00:33:40,153 --> 00:33:41,823
Are you some kind of freak?
472
00:33:41,856 --> 00:33:44,057
What no, I...
473
00:33:46,093 --> 00:33:47,394
Yes.
474
00:33:47,795 --> 00:33:49,396
Yes I am.
475
00:33:50,097 --> 00:33:54,101
And I need to
feed a deep hunger.
476
00:34:10,685 --> 00:34:12,687
Bill?
477
00:34:13,855 --> 00:34:16,089
Bill?
478
00:34:18,826 --> 00:34:22,095
Oh hey, Tex, take it easy there.
479
00:34:22,129 --> 00:34:23,831
I'm gonna go freshen up.
480
00:34:23,865 --> 00:34:25,733
I see your husband isn't home.
481
00:34:25,767 --> 00:34:30,838
My husband, how
did you know I was, oh.
482
00:34:30,872 --> 00:34:32,807
Or maybe he is home,
and likes to watch?
483
00:34:32,840 --> 00:34:36,476
I'm a modern guy, we can
even take turns if you like.
484
00:34:36,511 --> 00:34:38,345
Look this is a big mistake.
485
00:34:38,378 --> 00:34:40,247
Oh no mistake.
486
00:34:42,249 --> 00:34:44,586
Yeah, mistake.
487
00:35:00,902 --> 00:35:05,238
Bill, honey when you're
done, put the clothes and stuff
488
00:35:05,272 --> 00:35:08,610
on the table, and can you
please fold it this time?
489
00:35:08,643 --> 00:35:11,646
Oh, and I bought you these!
490
00:35:16,183 --> 00:35:17,518
Who's is that?
491
00:35:17,552 --> 00:35:18,519
Nobody's!
492
00:35:18,553 --> 00:35:20,320
Oh Jesus, not another one.
493
00:35:20,354 --> 00:35:21,856
There's nothing to worry about.
494
00:35:21,889 --> 00:35:23,858
Oh there's
something to worry about.
495
00:35:24,892 --> 00:35:27,528
Freak bit me when I fell down.
496
00:35:27,562 --> 00:35:29,931
Bill, you bit another woman!
497
00:35:29,964 --> 00:35:35,168
Come on sweetheart, I... oh
wow that is pretty deep.
498
00:35:36,203 --> 00:35:38,606
It wasn't me,
sweetie it wasn't my fault.
499
00:36:13,407 --> 00:36:15,510
Great, now
Carrie's the living dead.
500
00:36:15,543 --> 00:36:19,547
God damn it Bill, she
was my best friend.
501
00:36:19,580 --> 00:36:24,552
Honey, honey, it
was a nothing bite.
502
00:36:24,585 --> 00:36:27,555
She's not my type,
come on pumpkin.
503
00:36:27,588 --> 00:36:30,457
Anyone else that
you've bitten and forgot
504
00:36:30,490 --> 00:36:31,659
to tell me about?
505
00:36:31,693 --> 00:36:35,295
I've only been a
zombie since last night.
506
00:36:36,597 --> 00:36:38,733
What it's a good cut.
507
00:36:47,508 --> 00:36:49,944
What is it, what do you
guys have some sort of
508
00:36:49,977 --> 00:36:51,311
dog hearing now?
509
00:36:51,344 --> 00:36:53,447
Yeah.
510
00:36:53,480 --> 00:36:56,249
It's like a weird...
511
00:36:56,283 --> 00:36:58,953
They're calling us.
512
00:36:58,986 --> 00:37:01,956
Who's calling, I
don't hear anything.
513
00:37:01,989 --> 00:37:04,692
The zombies.
514
00:37:04,726 --> 00:37:06,393
They're calling out.
515
00:37:07,360 --> 00:37:10,598
Lock the doors, we've
got company coming.
516
00:37:31,519 --> 00:37:33,688
So what do we do now?
517
00:37:33,721 --> 00:37:36,991
We sit quietly and
hope they move on.
518
00:37:37,024 --> 00:37:38,425
I smell at least 10.
519
00:37:38,458 --> 00:37:39,459
At least.
520
00:37:39,493 --> 00:37:41,361
You can smell them too?
521
00:37:41,394 --> 00:37:44,331
It's a cross
between smell and hear.
522
00:37:44,364 --> 00:37:47,367
Yeah one bite and
you can smell too.
523
00:37:47,400 --> 00:37:48,903
I'm good.
524
00:37:48,936 --> 00:37:51,706
Ah, way... way too hot sweetie.
525
00:37:52,840 --> 00:37:54,909
I'm getting sleepy.
526
00:37:54,942 --> 00:37:56,944
Well, you ate all
the food she bought,
527
00:37:56,978 --> 00:37:58,445
you should be in a meat coma.
528
00:37:58,478 --> 00:37:59,647
You ate all the steaks.
529
00:37:59,680 --> 00:38:01,783
I was hungry.
530
00:38:01,816 --> 00:38:03,651
Call Larry's.
531
00:38:03,684 --> 00:38:04,719
Meat pizzas?
532
00:38:04,752 --> 00:38:06,721
Meat pizza delivery men.
533
00:38:06,754 --> 00:38:10,390
No, and besides, Larry's
only uses delivery girls.
534
00:38:10,423 --> 00:38:12,492
This whole eating
other women thing
535
00:38:12,527 --> 00:38:14,762
is really making
me uncomfortable.
536
00:38:14,796 --> 00:38:16,564
You want me to eat men?
537
00:38:16,597 --> 00:38:17,765
Hm.
538
00:38:19,600 --> 00:38:21,769
Wait, where are you going?
539
00:38:23,070 --> 00:38:26,073
My husband and my
best friend are hungry.
540
00:38:26,107 --> 00:38:28,075
Call Charlie.
541
00:38:28,109 --> 00:38:31,546
No, you are not
eating my brother.
542
00:38:31,579 --> 00:38:34,715
No, he could help
us, he's into all that
543
00:38:34,749 --> 00:38:37,919
government cover up,
UFO conspiracy crap,
544
00:38:37,952 --> 00:38:39,921
maybe he knows
something about this.
545
00:38:39,954 --> 00:38:42,957
About zombie
cannibalism conspiracy.
546
00:38:42,990 --> 00:38:45,993
We're not zombies,
this is something else.
547
00:38:46,027 --> 00:38:50,631
He's right, Zombies are
mindless flesh eating zombies,
548
00:38:50,965 --> 00:38:54,101
but you guys aren't mindless.
549
00:38:54,135 --> 00:38:56,103
Except when we eat.
550
00:38:56,137 --> 00:38:58,906
My brother will know what to do.
551
00:39:01,108 --> 00:39:05,046
Charlie, Shelly, yeah,
listen I need you to get,
552
00:39:05,079 --> 00:39:07,648
get down here asap,
yes it's an emergency.
553
00:39:07,682 --> 00:39:11,619
And I need you to bring meat.
Uh... bring 20 steaks no, no, no
554
00:39:11,652 --> 00:39:14,622
40.40 steaks
big ones, yes, yes.
555
00:39:14,655 --> 00:39:16,123
And it's an
emergency, chop, chop,
556
00:39:16,157 --> 00:39:19,560
I need you to get down here.
I have cash, yes, yes.
557
00:39:19,594 --> 00:39:22,964
No it's not a
party, it's serious.
558
00:39:22,997 --> 00:39:25,132
Oh, you guys eat brains right?
559
00:39:25,166 --> 00:39:27,367
Bring some calf brains.
560
00:39:28,202 --> 00:39:30,972
Shoot, he hung up.
561
00:39:32,006 --> 00:39:35,042
Okay, I am going to
go powder my nose
562
00:39:35,076 --> 00:39:37,745
and you guys guard the house.
563
00:39:38,478 --> 00:39:40,848
Put the couch back, I
am not living this way
564
00:39:40,882 --> 00:39:43,885
zombies or no zombies.
565
00:40:05,172 --> 00:40:08,843
I will not live
this paranoid life.
566
00:40:08,876 --> 00:40:10,611
Everything has to stay normal.
567
00:40:10,645 --> 00:40:12,146
You think you have it bad?
568
00:40:12,179 --> 00:40:16,217
My body's so cold I could
chill a beer with my tits.
569
00:40:16,250 --> 00:40:18,451
If I had any.
570
00:40:19,153 --> 00:40:22,123
What we need is a
doctor or a specialist
571
00:40:22,156 --> 00:40:25,192
or one of those guys from
the government, the CDC.
572
00:40:25,226 --> 00:40:29,096
Yeah. Yeah, I've been
vegan for five years
573
00:40:29,130 --> 00:40:31,132
and I just ate a calf.
574
00:40:32,133 --> 00:40:34,835
It's like this uncontrollable.
575
00:40:37,271 --> 00:40:39,240
Charlie better get here soon.
576
00:40:39,273 --> 00:40:41,075
Okay guys I'm
gonna say it again,
577
00:40:41,108 --> 00:40:44,946
I think that we should go
to the ER and just risk it.
578
00:40:44,979 --> 00:40:49,050
Yeah we got to the ER,
we're unnoticed, we have cash,
579
00:40:49,083 --> 00:40:51,052
we'll have a snack.
580
00:40:51,085 --> 00:40:52,520
What?
581
00:40:52,553 --> 00:40:54,221
We'll only eat the dead ones.
582
00:40:54,255 --> 00:40:57,191
When I was eating
that guy, I felt strong.
583
00:40:57,224 --> 00:40:58,159
The hunger makes you feel like
584
00:40:58,192 --> 00:41:02,495
you're all steroids
and power, unstoppable.
585
00:41:02,530 --> 00:41:05,066
Yeah, Charlie
better get here soon.
586
00:41:05,099 --> 00:41:09,103
Fine what we need
is a distraction.
587
00:41:09,136 --> 00:41:11,772
Oh, I know what.
588
00:41:27,755 --> 00:41:30,758
I won again!
589
00:41:35,963 --> 00:41:37,965
Is that actually
working for you?
590
00:41:37,999 --> 00:41:40,835
Oh, It's meat-ish parts.
591
00:41:40,868 --> 00:41:42,803
Charlie!
592
00:41:42,837 --> 00:41:44,839
I told you he'd make it.
593
00:41:50,845 --> 00:41:52,613
Hello, I'd like to
tell you about something
594
00:41:52,646 --> 00:41:54,281
that could change your...
595
00:41:56,817 --> 00:41:59,887
Dear, it's men, salesmen.
596
00:41:59,920 --> 00:42:02,957
Mormons, should I
invite them for dinner?
597
00:42:02,990 --> 00:42:05,793
Mormons, very clean.
598
00:42:05,826 --> 00:42:07,828
Organic.
599
00:42:09,296 --> 00:42:12,700
Hey, sorry, sorry I'm late.
600
00:42:12,733 --> 00:42:14,802
I, uh, I got
everything you asked for.
601
00:42:14,835 --> 00:42:17,972
Sorry fellas we'll have
you for dinner another time.
602
00:42:18,005 --> 00:42:19,840
So hopefully
this will be enough.
603
00:42:19,874 --> 00:42:22,877
Whoa, what the hell?
604
00:42:26,047 --> 00:42:28,315
How much do I owe you?
605
00:42:28,349 --> 00:42:31,852
250 plus gas and what the fuck?
606
00:42:38,359 --> 00:42:43,330
290 actually with taxes
an-and mileage, 300 is easier.
607
00:42:43,364 --> 00:42:45,966
300 is easier.
608
00:42:51,272 --> 00:42:54,275
Or 350 if you include
snacks and whatnot,
609
00:42:54,308 --> 00:42:56,844
definitely had snacks.
610
00:42:56,877 --> 00:42:59,313
And then Carrie
started eating raw meat,
611
00:42:59,346 --> 00:43:01,682
and that was it.
612
00:43:01,715 --> 00:43:04,952
Now you tell me this is a
curable African heart of
613
00:43:04,985 --> 00:43:09,657
darkness amazon river zombie
infection virus thing right?
614
00:43:11,992 --> 00:43:16,730
Well they're not eating the
styrofoam so it's not Pika.
615
00:43:16,764 --> 00:43:19,934
It was very smart of you to
call me first, not the cops.
616
00:43:19,967 --> 00:43:23,704
I mean this is the hallmark
of the agency all over it.
617
00:43:23,737 --> 00:43:25,372
Then you know what this is?
618
00:43:25,406 --> 00:43:30,077
Probably, yeah, my
sources hear things.
619
00:43:30,111 --> 00:43:31,412
Some outbreaks here and there,
620
00:43:31,445 --> 00:43:34,048
a couple of CDC coverups
in Seattle and Chicago.
621
00:43:34,081 --> 00:43:35,783
This isn't swine flu.
622
00:43:35,816 --> 00:43:37,685
Or that that Stica.
623
00:43:37,718 --> 00:43:41,021
Zika, no, this is
night of the living dead
624
00:43:41,055 --> 00:43:43,958
That is to say, private sector,
that is to say, the government
625
00:43:43,991 --> 00:43:45,359
covering up it's ass.
626
00:43:45,392 --> 00:43:47,928
Come on Charlie.
627
00:43:47,962 --> 00:43:51,866
This is what I do, alright,
I am a geek for this shit.
628
00:43:51,899 --> 00:43:56,904
The geek, and now you two and
my sister, this is so cool.
629
00:43:58,272 --> 00:44:00,174
We might need to
cut their heads off.
630
00:44:00,207 --> 00:44:01,876
No!
What?
631
00:44:02,843 --> 00:44:07,114
Honey, put the
plastic in the recycling.
632
00:44:07,148 --> 00:44:08,983
You can't recycle styrofoam.
633
00:44:09,016 --> 00:44:09,950
Yes you can.
634
00:44:09,984 --> 00:44:12,753
No you can't, Shell
but it doesn't matter,
635
00:44:12,786 --> 00:44:14,388
I feel like we have
two options here.
636
00:44:14,421 --> 00:44:17,391
Either we blow this
thing wide open or we run.
637
00:44:17,424 --> 00:44:19,793
Now what happened
to the infect or?
638
00:44:19,827 --> 00:44:20,728
The what?
639
00:44:20,761 --> 00:44:22,363
The infect or, the
originator, the prime,
640
00:44:22,396 --> 00:44:24,398
the one that bit Bill.
641
00:44:24,431 --> 00:44:25,399
We uh.
642
00:44:25,432 --> 00:44:29,336
We disposed of it.
643
00:44:29,370 --> 00:44:32,173
Okay, do you have
anything left, a finger?
644
00:44:32,206 --> 00:44:34,375
Not so much.
645
00:44:35,176 --> 00:44:37,878
Fine, how long between feedings?
646
00:44:37,912 --> 00:44:40,948
I don't know, they
ate before I called you
647
00:44:40,981 --> 00:44:43,150
but they seem to be
getting hungrier now,
648
00:44:43,184 --> 00:44:45,186
faster for sure.
649
00:44:46,086 --> 00:44:48,455
Okay, you come with me.
650
00:44:51,091 --> 00:44:53,427
There's some kind
of an antidote,
651
00:44:53,460 --> 00:44:56,197
or an anti virus thing right?
652
00:44:56,230 --> 00:44:59,767
Okay, um no, we need
to cut their heads off
653
00:44:59,800 --> 00:45:00,768
before the next feeding.
654
00:45:00,801 --> 00:45:04,371
My husband and my best
friend are in that room,
655
00:45:04,405 --> 00:45:07,141
no head cutting off.
656
00:45:07,174 --> 00:45:08,943
There has to be something else.
657
00:45:08,976 --> 00:45:11,312
Okay, okay, okay, I'm
gonna go back to my place,
658
00:45:11,345 --> 00:45:13,948
get some supplies and
some notes, my research.
659
00:45:13,981 --> 00:45:15,950
I'm taking Carrie with me.
660
00:45:15,983 --> 00:45:17,751
Why?
661
00:45:17,785 --> 00:45:20,187
Zombie bodyguard to
fight against Zombies,
662
00:45:20,221 --> 00:45:21,322
and men in black.
663
00:45:21,355 --> 00:45:24,058
We gotta fight fire with fire.
664
00:45:24,091 --> 00:45:27,394
I mean we don't know who
else is infected out there.
665
00:45:27,428 --> 00:45:28,996
Carrie, you're coming with me.
666
00:45:29,029 --> 00:45:33,067
Sis, lock up behind us,
and if Bill gets hungry.
667
00:45:33,100 --> 00:45:34,201
No!
668
00:45:34,235 --> 00:45:36,538
Then you need to find an
overnight butcher that delivers.
669
00:45:36,571 --> 00:45:37,738
Let's go.
670
00:45:37,771 --> 00:45:40,542
Carrie, no eating Charlie,
he's our only hope right now.
671
00:45:40,575 --> 00:45:43,210
I'm so tired, why am
I going with the geek?
672
00:45:43,244 --> 00:45:46,247
You're the muscle.
673
00:46:11,138 --> 00:46:15,142
They're out there,
not moving, still.
674
00:46:19,346 --> 00:46:23,150
Sweetie, you have any, want
me to make you something?
675
00:46:23,183 --> 00:46:26,020
Not much of an appetite, thanks.
676
00:46:42,570 --> 00:46:46,006
I don't hear anything Bill.
677
00:46:46,040 --> 00:46:48,075
It's like they're sleeping,
678
00:46:48,108 --> 00:46:49,443
quiet.
679
00:46:50,612 --> 00:46:53,047
Right, the sleeping dead.
680
00:46:55,316 --> 00:46:58,185
We are gonna get
through this together.
681
00:46:58,218 --> 00:47:01,088
Charlie, he's going to figure
this out, he's has a lot of...
682
00:47:01,121 --> 00:47:02,222
He's an idiot.
683
00:47:02,256 --> 00:47:06,360
He's gonna come back, no,
only Carrie's coming back.
684
00:47:07,261 --> 00:47:10,164
Bill, we are not gonna
fall into negativity.
685
00:47:10,197 --> 00:47:13,033
This is hard
enough without those,
686
00:47:13,967 --> 00:47:17,838
I am not gonna fall...
687
00:47:24,612 --> 00:47:26,614
We are going to be alright.
688
00:47:27,582 --> 00:47:28,650
We can do this.
689
00:47:28,683 --> 00:47:31,318
Yes, Charlie's gonna come back.
690
00:47:31,352 --> 00:47:34,455
We will get through
this, we will work it out.
691
00:47:34,488 --> 00:47:37,191
I'm sure he's got a geek
buddy that knows a guy,
692
00:47:37,224 --> 00:47:40,127
that knows a guy.
693
00:47:40,160 --> 00:47:43,397
All we have to do
is love each other.
694
00:47:46,033 --> 00:47:48,670
Ow, shit you're so hot.
695
00:47:48,703 --> 00:47:50,538
You're so cold.
696
00:47:50,572 --> 00:47:54,576
Maybe.
697
00:47:54,609 --> 00:47:59,279
I know, yeah, kinky right?
698
00:47:59,313 --> 00:48:00,381
The glove is fine.
699
00:48:00,414 --> 00:48:02,049
Just being careful.
See?
700
00:48:02,082 --> 00:48:04,084
Yeah.
701
00:48:07,154 --> 00:48:11,325
We may not have another
moment like this, alone I mean.
702
00:48:14,696 --> 00:48:19,133
I love you so much.
703
00:48:19,166 --> 00:48:22,002
I guess I am hungry.
704
00:48:22,670 --> 00:48:26,006
We can order in, you don't
want to cook in this kitchen
705
00:48:26,039 --> 00:48:29,042
anyway, we'll call Larry's.
706
00:48:29,744 --> 00:48:32,514
Sure, but...
707
00:48:32,547 --> 00:48:36,283
this is not gonna be
our last night together.
708
00:48:44,224 --> 00:48:46,226
Ah, a little hot.
709
00:48:47,494 --> 00:48:51,131
It's just the nose,
yeah that's better.
710
00:49:15,657 --> 00:49:20,227
Ah, you're a reader, derivative.
711
00:49:20,260 --> 00:49:22,764
What, you read Isaacs?
712
00:49:22,797 --> 00:49:27,434
It's nothing original.
What? A girl can't read?
713
00:49:27,468 --> 00:49:29,704
No I just never
pegged you as uh...
714
00:49:29,737 --> 00:49:31,305
A reader?
715
00:49:32,339 --> 00:49:35,677
Don't pretend to know
me conspiracy boy.
716
00:49:37,110 --> 00:49:39,179
You mind if I look around?
717
00:49:39,213 --> 00:49:43,083
Sure, mi casa es su casa.
718
00:49:43,116 --> 00:49:45,152
Have any snacks?
719
00:49:46,453 --> 00:49:48,790
So what exactly
are we looking for?
720
00:49:48,823 --> 00:49:52,059
I have notes on a
program called Y38,
721
00:49:52,092 --> 00:49:54,361
it's a subprogram of MK Ultra.
722
00:49:54,394 --> 00:49:58,031
I'm a zombie because the
CIA used LSD on hippies
723
00:49:58,065 --> 00:49:59,166
40 years ago.
724
00:49:59,199 --> 00:50:01,301
Not at all, it's
a sister program.
725
00:50:02,604 --> 00:50:06,741
Okay, I have all beef
hot dogs in the fridge.
726
00:50:15,783 --> 00:50:19,253
Okay, continue
with your weird ideas.
727
00:50:19,286 --> 00:50:23,591
Okay, so not for sure but
this has to do with spores.
728
00:50:23,625 --> 00:50:26,794
See in the spring especially
after a long hot winter,
729
00:50:26,828 --> 00:50:30,297
thank you global warming,
proceeded by extreme fire
730
00:50:30,330 --> 00:50:33,535
seasons, we get this kind
of an event, see, that we're
731
00:50:33,568 --> 00:50:34,702
in right here.
732
00:50:34,736 --> 00:50:36,303
What full moons or sun spots?
733
00:50:36,336 --> 00:50:37,639
Exactly, that's the key.
734
00:50:37,672 --> 00:50:39,306
Sunspots?
Yeah, so we get these
735
00:50:39,339 --> 00:50:41,776
dust storms off the Sahara
that go across the Atlantic,
736
00:50:41,809 --> 00:50:44,077
ergo higher hurricane seasons.
737
00:50:44,111 --> 00:50:45,756
Well that would be great,
it would clear it out.
738
00:50:45,780 --> 00:50:48,650
Right, but that didn't
happen so here we are.
739
00:50:48,683 --> 00:50:50,450
In your apartment.
740
00:50:50,484 --> 00:50:55,188
No, Sutters Mill, spring
of '91, the Waco coverups.
741
00:50:55,222 --> 00:50:57,391
Waco was a bunch
of religious nuts.
742
00:50:57,424 --> 00:50:59,727
Air France plane
landing in Brazil.
743
00:50:59,761 --> 00:51:02,262
Everything destroyed,
nothing recovered.
744
00:51:02,296 --> 00:51:05,098
Why, because they
were already dead.
745
00:51:05,132 --> 00:51:06,801
This goes way back.
746
00:51:06,834 --> 00:51:09,871
Bombay, India '42
there's a huge outbreak
747
00:51:09,904 --> 00:51:11,371
then flooding covers thousands,
748
00:51:11,405 --> 00:51:13,106
that is how the
spores get spread.
749
00:51:13,140 --> 00:51:16,410
But one infected survives,
he stows away to Europe,
750
00:51:16,443 --> 00:51:19,413
German scientists capture
him then after World War II,
751
00:51:19,446 --> 00:51:22,115
we get the scientists,
then we make our own lab
752
00:51:22,149 --> 00:51:24,786
and bingo, it's simple stuff.
753
00:51:24,819 --> 00:51:26,854
Hey that's my survival.
754
00:51:28,355 --> 00:51:31,358
Yeah it is,
never mind, you enjoy.
755
00:51:32,794 --> 00:51:36,496
Uhm, so with your case it
probably started with that lab
756
00:51:36,531 --> 00:51:39,366
in Ames, they have
really lousy security,
757
00:51:39,399 --> 00:51:40,835
everybody knows that.
758
00:51:40,868 --> 00:51:43,437
You come prepared, impressive.
759
00:51:43,470 --> 00:51:44,806
Boy scout.
760
00:51:44,839 --> 00:51:47,675
Girl scout, special ops, Marine.
761
00:51:49,409 --> 00:51:52,814
Semper Fi, alright that
means that you get to carry
762
00:51:54,481 --> 00:51:56,483
the heavy one.
763
00:51:57,585 --> 00:52:01,421
Right, zombie marine, that's
really, oh, I actually have
764
00:52:01,455 --> 00:52:03,658
to get something hold on.
765
00:52:08,630 --> 00:52:11,666
Hey, so I figure
we ditch Burbank,
766
00:52:12,634 --> 00:52:14,869
and then we can
just take the five
767
00:52:14,902 --> 00:52:16,871
up towards Sacramento.
768
00:52:16,904 --> 00:52:19,674
There should be plenty of
places for you to feed up there.
769
00:52:19,707 --> 00:52:22,677
Then once we take
it on that way.
770
00:52:22,710 --> 00:52:25,613
And the zombie ex-marine
is staring at me.
771
00:52:25,647 --> 00:52:28,850
Explain, now.
772
00:52:28,883 --> 00:52:30,918
Okay, that's not
literal, like obviously
773
00:52:30,952 --> 00:52:34,956
that's not literal, this is,
just, okay so hypothetically
774
00:52:34,989 --> 00:52:38,225
yes, but honestly that's more
for like mummy living dead
775
00:52:38,258 --> 00:52:39,827
than it is like
zombie living dead.
776
00:52:39,861 --> 00:52:42,229
Like clearly I didn't,
that's not for you.
777
00:52:42,262 --> 00:52:46,433
I would never do that to
you, you're too beautiful.
778
00:52:51,739 --> 00:52:53,741
Let's get back.
779
00:52:53,775 --> 00:52:55,910
Good, good plan. You know...
780
00:52:55,943 --> 00:52:58,245
Hey, we can stop by a
butcher along the way
781
00:52:58,278 --> 00:53:00,915
and just get you a
snack or whatever.
782
00:53:03,818 --> 00:53:04,986
Honey?
783
00:53:05,019 --> 00:53:06,486
Yes?
784
00:53:07,320 --> 00:53:09,322
Sweetie.
785
00:53:11,025 --> 00:53:13,226
What dear?
786
00:53:13,728 --> 00:53:15,563
We need to talk.
787
00:53:15,596 --> 00:53:17,665
I'm right here dear.
788
00:53:17,699 --> 00:53:20,568
I think we need to.
789
00:53:20,601 --> 00:53:21,703
What dear?
790
00:53:21,736 --> 00:53:23,871
We need to.
791
00:53:23,905 --> 00:53:26,373
We need to what?
792
00:53:26,406 --> 00:53:31,411
We need to get a plan,
like a really good plan.
793
00:53:31,779 --> 00:53:35,482
First of all, I will
not have you going around
794
00:53:35,516 --> 00:53:37,885
eating people all willy nilly.
795
00:53:37,919 --> 00:53:41,589
Besides being gross, we can
get into a lot of trouble.
796
00:53:41,622 --> 00:53:44,025
This is all new
territory for me.
797
00:53:44,058 --> 00:53:47,962
There's gotta be better
ways to attack your hunger.
798
00:53:47,995 --> 00:53:50,565
What we need is
appetite control.
799
00:53:50,598 --> 00:53:52,600
It's an animal thing.
800
00:53:56,604 --> 00:53:59,741
Roar. Roar.
801
00:54:00,808 --> 00:54:04,478
Uh, I'm not sure now
is the best time to.
802
00:54:04,512 --> 00:54:08,683
Mm hmm, look at that, seems
like nature has other plans.
803
00:54:15,823 --> 00:54:17,825
No biting.
804
00:54:20,795 --> 00:54:22,797
Seriously.
805
00:54:23,798 --> 00:54:25,800
I'm gonna bite you.
806
00:54:34,008 --> 00:54:36,944
One, two, three,
four, five pizzas.
807
00:54:36,978 --> 00:54:38,579
Salami.
808
00:54:38,613 --> 00:54:41,481
Oh, just the one had cheese huh?
809
00:54:41,516 --> 00:54:45,019
Yes ma'am, don't get
much call for that.
810
00:54:47,054 --> 00:54:48,790
You throw interesting parties.
811
00:54:48,823 --> 00:54:52,059
It's an Andrew
Zimba bizarre parties.
812
00:54:52,994 --> 00:54:54,996
But ma'am you
forgot your change.
813
00:54:55,029 --> 00:54:56,597
Just keep it.
814
00:55:10,878 --> 00:55:13,380
Good, good, brains,
want some brains?
815
00:55:13,413 --> 00:55:16,083
No thank you, you enjoy really.
816
00:55:16,584 --> 00:55:19,419
What is it Bill,
is it bad brains?
817
00:55:20,087 --> 00:55:21,856
Oh no, use this.
818
00:55:23,456 --> 00:55:26,359
It's the meat, it burns.
819
00:55:26,393 --> 00:55:28,729
Try some liver.
820
00:55:28,763 --> 00:55:33,768
No, no cow parts, I
need brains, human brains.
821
00:55:38,639 --> 00:55:42,643
No Bill, fight it,
damn it, hold on.
822
00:55:45,646 --> 00:55:46,926
I'm sorry, there was one more...
823
00:55:57,124 --> 00:56:01,662
Yeah, pizza girl, not a chance.
824
00:56:06,466 --> 00:56:09,070
So Shelly, how was your weekend?
825
00:56:09,103 --> 00:56:13,473
Oh you know, same old same old,
had some friends for dinner
826
00:56:13,507 --> 00:56:15,710
at least my husband did.
827
00:56:15,743 --> 00:56:19,412
My husband, the man I
married, the love of my life,
828
00:56:19,446 --> 00:56:23,450
likes to eat human
brains, who knew.
829
00:56:47,708 --> 00:56:51,145
Bill! Bill wake up
there's another one.
830
00:56:51,178 --> 00:56:53,147
Come on it's us!
831
00:56:54,181 --> 00:56:56,050
Shelly let us in.
832
00:56:57,785 --> 00:57:01,555
Hey sis, made it as
quick as we could.
833
00:57:01,589 --> 00:57:03,858
We don't have much time.
834
00:57:04,191 --> 00:57:05,860
But.
835
00:57:06,861 --> 00:57:08,596
Yeah we'll we're being watched.
836
00:57:08,629 --> 00:57:10,965
There's two guys in a
car across the street.
837
00:57:10,998 --> 00:57:13,234
Agency moves fast.
838
00:57:13,267 --> 00:57:15,970
We need to get her fed
as soon as possible and...
839
00:57:16,003 --> 00:57:18,172
Hey pizza.
840
00:57:18,205 --> 00:57:20,174
Ooh, brains and liver.
841
00:57:20,207 --> 00:57:22,777
Wait did
Bill eat the pizza girl,
842
00:57:22,810 --> 00:57:23,711
she was cute.
843
00:57:23,744 --> 00:57:26,113
She was an orphan,
don't worry about it.
844
00:57:26,147 --> 00:57:28,683
They'll be back
and I'll be ready.
845
00:57:28,716 --> 00:57:32,720
Okay, machete
boy, put that away.
846
00:57:33,587 --> 00:57:37,591
You said agents, what agents?
847
00:57:39,026 --> 00:57:41,595
There's only three
types of people out there, now.
848
00:57:41,629 --> 00:57:46,634
One, the zombies, two, the
agents who hunt the zombies.
849
00:57:47,301 --> 00:57:48,836
And three?
850
00:57:49,236 --> 00:57:53,240
The food, us,
humanity, the food.
851
00:57:54,608 --> 00:57:56,610
Put that away.
852
00:57:58,980 --> 00:58:01,882
Fine, I'll do
Bill, you do Carrie.
853
00:58:01,916 --> 00:58:05,252
What, the salami wasn't
good enough for them?
854
00:58:05,286 --> 00:58:08,289
He tried, but all of
the meats made him sick.
855
00:58:08,322 --> 00:58:09,323
I see.
856
00:58:10,558 --> 00:58:13,260
Okay well then he's
advanced farther than I thought.
857
00:58:13,294 --> 00:58:15,830
See, the virus
mutates his whole system
858
00:58:15,863 --> 00:58:17,064
until he becomes full zombie.
859
00:58:17,098 --> 00:58:21,569
I thought, well, I hoped that
it would be a 72 hour cycle,
860
00:58:23,004 --> 00:58:25,606
but he's now progressed to
the point where he can't
861
00:58:25,639 --> 00:58:28,242
digest anything other
than human flesh.
862
00:58:28,275 --> 00:58:30,111
So we're in real trouble.
863
00:58:44,325 --> 00:58:48,929
Ew, it's sausage casing.
Ugh...
864
00:58:48,963 --> 00:58:52,299
When they eat, they're
mindless, they're like sharks.
865
00:58:53,300 --> 00:58:54,802
I'm so tired.
866
00:58:54,835 --> 00:58:57,938
Charlie, take
her to the bedroom.
867
00:59:05,946 --> 00:59:08,315
What is it the girl scouts now?
868
00:59:09,850 --> 00:59:11,852
Shelly?
869
00:59:12,319 --> 00:59:15,122
We can to this the hard
way that's up to you.
870
00:59:15,156 --> 00:59:19,693
We know about the
landlord, I have a warrant.
871
00:59:19,727 --> 00:59:21,729
Where are you,
where's the warrant?
872
00:59:23,864 --> 00:59:25,299
This isn't a warrant.
873
00:59:25,332 --> 00:59:27,568
Read, all of it.
874
00:59:27,935 --> 00:59:30,905
What kind of FBI agents
dress like Mormons.
875
00:59:30,938 --> 00:59:32,940
Where's your bible?
876
00:59:32,973 --> 00:59:34,241
Well come in then.
877
00:59:34,275 --> 00:59:36,877
So, where's your husband?
878
00:59:37,745 --> 00:59:39,747
Ah ha.
879
00:59:42,383 --> 00:59:45,386
He sure is a sound sleeper.
880
00:59:45,419 --> 00:59:47,388
This says that you have
presidential authority...
881
00:59:47,421 --> 00:59:52,059
To acquire, restrain
and detain with prejudice.
882
00:59:52,093 --> 00:59:54,261
Deny nothing, we
know everything.
883
00:59:54,295 --> 00:59:56,664
We know about the
dead delivery girl too.
884
00:59:56,697 --> 00:59:57,665
What a waste.
885
00:59:57,698 --> 00:59:59,667
Look this is about
survival, you want to live
886
00:59:59,700 --> 01:00:01,001
you'll do exactly as I say.
887
01:00:01,035 --> 01:00:04,038
No, no, no she'll do
nothing of the sort.
888
01:00:04,071 --> 01:00:05,239
I know who you are.
889
01:00:05,272 --> 01:00:07,842
And look, you even match,
that's so cute isn't it Shell?
890
01:00:07,875 --> 01:00:10,744
Hm, and we know you,
Charles Benjamin Ford.
891
01:00:10,778 --> 01:00:13,848
College dropout,
conspiracy blogger,
892
01:00:13,881 --> 01:00:16,083
fired by Best Buy for
using store computers
893
01:00:16,117 --> 01:00:17,351
to hack the NSA.
894
01:00:17,384 --> 01:00:19,353
Is that where you
got the big screen TV?
895
01:00:19,386 --> 01:00:21,122
Not the time Shell,
super not the time.
896
01:00:21,155 --> 01:00:22,423
A lie is a lie Mr. Ford.
897
01:00:22,456 --> 01:00:25,359
Look I expose agents
like you online every day.
898
01:00:25,392 --> 01:00:27,361
Alright so what's the
lame name of your crappy
899
01:00:27,394 --> 01:00:28,429
black ops operation.
900
01:00:28,462 --> 01:00:29,697
I think he said FBI.
901
01:00:29,730 --> 01:00:31,065
I don't think he said anything.
902
01:00:31,098 --> 01:00:33,300
We didn't say FBI.
903
01:00:33,868 --> 01:00:37,104
Look, this right here,
this is straight off
904
01:00:37,138 --> 01:00:39,373
an HP color printer, fake.
905
01:00:39,406 --> 01:00:41,375
So who are you guys anyways.
906
01:00:41,408 --> 01:00:42,910
Beat 'em.
907
01:00:44,445 --> 01:00:46,080
Which one you want
me to start with?
908
01:00:46,113 --> 01:00:51,118
Start with the female.
909
01:00:54,288 --> 01:00:57,458
Oh god what is
wrong with you guys?
910
01:00:57,491 --> 01:01:00,094
Hm, must be that one.
911
01:01:02,429 --> 01:01:04,398
Winner winner chicken dinner.
912
01:01:04,431 --> 01:01:06,934
Come on zombie, there you
go, come on that's right.
913
01:01:06,967 --> 01:01:08,969
Come to daddy.
914
01:01:11,105 --> 01:01:12,106
Come on!
915
01:01:14,742 --> 01:01:15,843
What did you do to Charlie!
916
01:01:15,876 --> 01:01:19,079
Oh come on, it's just a
few thousand patriotic volts.
917
01:01:19,113 --> 01:01:20,080
He's gonna be fine.
918
01:01:20,114 --> 01:01:21,482
Back off!
919
01:01:21,516 --> 01:01:24,151
Hm, Stockholm syndrome.
920
01:01:25,186 --> 01:01:26,954
No Bill stop it!
921
01:01:28,889 --> 01:01:30,157
There you go.
922
01:01:31,825 --> 01:01:32,893
Bill!
923
01:01:32,927 --> 01:01:35,796
He's a zombie ma'am, what
am I gonna do, kill him?
924
01:01:35,829 --> 01:01:37,031
He's already dead!
925
01:01:38,832 --> 01:01:41,435
You should thank us, it
was only a matter of time.
926
01:01:41,468 --> 01:01:43,871
We're gonna take him
to some place safe.
927
01:01:43,904 --> 01:01:45,507
Watch your hands.
928
01:01:45,540 --> 01:01:47,975
No.
929
01:01:53,180 --> 01:01:56,383
I'll cut your head off, bitch.
930
01:01:56,417 --> 01:02:00,087
Carrie! Nobody calls
my friend a bitch.
931
01:02:03,457 --> 01:02:07,428
I hope you like barbecue!
932
01:02:25,145 --> 01:02:27,515
They just don't carry
much cash around huh?
933
01:02:27,549 --> 01:02:30,851
Yeah well, I feel like
moneys probably not an issue
934
01:02:30,884 --> 01:02:34,355
now that you know, we, they
killed two federal agents.
935
01:02:34,388 --> 01:02:36,223
What federal agents?
936
01:02:36,257 --> 01:02:38,492
I don't know what
you're talking about.
937
01:02:38,526 --> 01:02:42,029
You know, phones can
be traced on or off
938
01:02:42,062 --> 01:02:43,897
as long as the
battery is still in.
939
01:02:43,931 --> 01:02:45,332
Really, NSA.
940
01:02:45,366 --> 01:02:48,369
Semper Fi who ha.
941
01:02:51,071 --> 01:02:53,841
Blank cards, are they
credit card thieves?
942
01:02:53,874 --> 01:02:55,042
I don't know.
943
01:02:55,075 --> 01:02:57,845
Probably opens some unmarked
door in some unmarked office
944
01:02:57,878 --> 01:03:00,848
in the basement of an
incredibly dangerous building.
945
01:03:00,881 --> 01:03:03,250
I don't know, he
was a spook, a spy.
946
01:03:03,284 --> 01:03:05,119
Was he some sort
of a Bourne dude?
947
01:03:05,152 --> 01:03:07,589
You know this isn't
over yet, right?
948
01:03:07,622 --> 01:03:10,525
Okay, well what do we do?
949
01:03:10,558 --> 01:03:12,393
Well what do we know?
950
01:03:12,426 --> 01:03:15,396
Well, they knew about
the whole zombie thing
951
01:03:15,429 --> 01:03:16,531
before they got here.
952
01:03:16,564 --> 01:03:19,534
Right, I mean Jesus, look
at their weapon of choice.
953
01:03:19,567 --> 01:03:22,069
You know, Shell we probably
don't have all that much time
954
01:03:22,102 --> 01:03:23,103
so I need you to think.
955
01:03:23,137 --> 01:03:25,873
Have you seen anyone
who looks like those guys
956
01:03:25,906 --> 01:03:27,618
around the neighborhood
over the last couple of days?
957
01:03:27,642 --> 01:03:29,109
You mean Mormons?
958
01:03:29,143 --> 01:03:31,145
Well.
959
01:03:34,181 --> 01:03:35,617
I thought you were
done with those.
960
01:03:35,650 --> 01:03:37,851
Just two.
961
01:03:37,885 --> 01:03:39,420
And under the
present circumstances,
962
01:03:39,453 --> 01:03:42,122
I think I have earned these.
963
01:03:45,125 --> 01:03:47,494
Think I've earned it too.
964
01:03:55,502 --> 01:03:58,606
Apparently zombies have
a hard time with doorknobs.
965
01:03:58,640 --> 01:04:01,442
Oh my god! Oh,
I know what this is!
966
01:04:01,475 --> 01:04:04,244
They want an army of undead
killers that you can't kill!
967
01:04:04,278 --> 01:04:06,614
All of the rumors are true.
968
01:04:07,381 --> 01:04:09,950
Man that taser really
takes it out of you.
969
01:04:09,983 --> 01:04:12,252
Oh, you must be starving dear.
970
01:04:12,286 --> 01:04:15,255
Here let me get you that
brain the agents brought.
971
01:04:15,289 --> 01:04:17,124
You want me to
heat that up for you.
972
01:04:41,982 --> 01:04:44,418
I thought I heard somebody
at the back door earlier.
973
01:04:44,451 --> 01:04:45,352
More agents?
974
01:04:45,386 --> 01:04:49,456
No, zombie, agents
prefer the front door.
975
01:04:50,525 --> 01:04:52,627
You're just gonna eat that.
976
01:04:52,660 --> 01:04:55,162
Mm. I can share.
977
01:04:55,195 --> 01:04:56,964
No, thank you.
978
01:04:56,997 --> 01:04:58,465
I'll take some.
979
01:04:58,499 --> 01:05:02,503
Oh, my little sleeping
beauty awakes. I got you.
980
01:05:04,471 --> 01:05:07,642
You know you guys are so
cool for putting up with us.
981
01:05:07,675 --> 01:05:10,177
I gotta say when I was lying
there, half electrocuted
982
01:05:10,210 --> 01:05:12,547
to death on the ground
watching you devour that guy,
983
01:05:12,580 --> 01:05:15,617
it was uh... pretty gross.
984
01:05:15,650 --> 01:05:20,120
I thought you were
amazing and strong and fast
985
01:05:20,154 --> 01:05:22,489
and oh my god please
get that out of my face,
986
01:05:22,524 --> 01:05:24,526
that is a human brain.
987
01:05:29,997 --> 01:05:31,999
Zombie, big one.
988
01:05:32,734 --> 01:05:36,671
I just figured you could
eat it when you woke, dear.
989
01:05:36,704 --> 01:05:38,238
Right.
990
01:05:38,740 --> 01:05:40,941
I got this.
991
01:05:41,743 --> 01:05:44,746
I'll tenderize him, you eat him?
992
01:05:44,779 --> 01:05:49,517
Uhn-Uhn... You enjoy your
brains, we got this.
993
01:05:58,292 --> 01:06:00,427
That's my man.
994
01:06:09,269 --> 01:06:12,206
Charlie, I gotta say, in
the past I always thought
995
01:06:12,239 --> 01:06:13,207
you were kind of a...
996
01:06:13,240 --> 01:06:15,677
Crazy person, like a nut job?
997
01:06:15,710 --> 01:06:17,978
Yeah, let's go with that.
998
01:06:20,748 --> 01:06:22,015
Guys?
999
01:06:24,151 --> 01:06:26,286
Watch the potted plants please.
1000
01:06:47,074 --> 01:06:50,778
Oh my god, that
was just incredible.
1001
01:06:50,812 --> 01:06:52,012
Nicely done.
1002
01:06:53,581 --> 01:06:57,117
That last one
tasted like chicken.
1003
01:06:57,150 --> 01:07:01,221
Guys, I have a plan.
1004
01:07:01,255 --> 01:07:03,090
Let's get Carrie.
1005
01:07:03,123 --> 01:07:06,126
Okay, we all know that
the buzz in the chat rooms
1006
01:07:06,159 --> 01:07:10,163
was aliens, then ISIS, then
NSA, but everybody was wrong,
1007
01:07:10,197 --> 01:07:11,766
it's you guys, it's zombies.
1008
01:07:11,799 --> 01:07:13,535
This was your cover story,
1009
01:07:13,568 --> 01:07:15,770
mad cow disease in
Wyoming last month.
1010
01:07:15,803 --> 01:07:17,572
One of you guys
must've gotten out.
1011
01:07:17,605 --> 01:07:19,807
Wyoming?
None of us have ever been
1012
01:07:19,841 --> 01:07:20,808
to Wyoming.
1013
01:07:20,842 --> 01:07:24,311
Look, I was a vegetarian
until Bill bit me, okay
1014
01:07:24,344 --> 01:07:28,181
I mean the occasional double
cheeseburger if I was drunk,
1015
01:07:28,215 --> 01:07:29,483
but... a vegetarian.
1016
01:07:29,517 --> 01:07:32,452
Okay, stay with me,
I mean that a zombie
1017
01:07:32,486 --> 01:07:36,123
got out or a lab tech
was bit or whatever okay?
1018
01:07:36,156 --> 01:07:37,792
But now it's spreading.
1019
01:07:37,825 --> 01:07:40,294
You were bit, and then you
bit her and then who knows
1020
01:07:40,327 --> 01:07:41,395
how many the original bit.
1021
01:07:41,428 --> 01:07:43,463
Okay whatever, what's the cure?
1022
01:07:43,497 --> 01:07:46,668
There is no cure for dead.
1023
01:07:46,701 --> 01:07:48,836
Then where are
you going with this?
1024
01:07:48,870 --> 01:07:51,271
You were right when you
said Bourne dudes earlier,
1025
01:07:51,305 --> 01:07:53,775
but imagine an army
of Zombie Bourne dudes.
1026
01:07:53,808 --> 01:07:57,679
Alright, no way, I'm gonna be
an undead killer for anyone.
1027
01:07:57,712 --> 01:07:59,781
Alright,
I already served my country.
1028
01:07:59,814 --> 01:08:02,817
I'm confused, I know
we're zombies when we eat but
1029
01:08:02,850 --> 01:08:04,719
now I feel normal.
1030
01:08:04,752 --> 01:08:08,488
Cold, and a lot
stronger, but normal.
1031
01:08:08,523 --> 01:08:11,224
My guess is that the designer
virus blends with your DNA,
1032
01:08:11,258 --> 01:08:15,228
but stay with me, a secret
army of undead troops
1033
01:08:15,262 --> 01:08:19,299
who can march into a firefight
and before CNN gets shot one,
1034
01:08:19,333 --> 01:08:22,469
Bam! They've killed
and eaten the enemy.
1035
01:08:22,502 --> 01:08:25,472
Then that's what we do.
1036
01:08:25,873 --> 01:08:28,308
Bill you grab the plastic,
1037
01:08:28,342 --> 01:08:29,476
Charlie the duct tape,
1038
01:08:29,510 --> 01:08:33,180
Carrie, get dolled up we're
having guests for dinner.
1039
01:08:44,424 --> 01:08:48,428
This one looks
absolutely delicious.
1040
01:08:49,564 --> 01:08:51,465
The nerd is mine.
1041
01:08:56,604 --> 01:09:00,608
50, 150, 200.
1042
01:09:05,647 --> 01:09:08,415
Look at this cheap
bastard, one debit card
1043
01:09:08,448 --> 01:09:09,584
and a Subway coupon.
1044
01:09:09,617 --> 01:09:12,954
Oh, feel this
leather, oh wait? Uh-huh.
1045
01:09:12,987 --> 01:09:14,956
Uh-huh.
1046
01:09:14,989 --> 01:09:17,659
Oh. Bill you guys
almost done in there?
1047
01:09:21,495 --> 01:09:25,499
Oh god, I'm so tired, so full.
1048
01:09:26,299 --> 01:09:28,268
Take the bedroom,
you know the drill.
1049
01:09:28,301 --> 01:09:29,445
I want my 25 percent of that.
1050
01:09:29,469 --> 01:09:32,907
Yeah, yeah, I'm
tapping one of us.
1051
01:09:32,940 --> 01:09:35,342
I don't know about this plan.
1052
01:09:35,375 --> 01:09:36,878
How do we know
when we got them all?
1053
01:09:36,911 --> 01:09:37,845
Smell.
1054
01:09:37,879 --> 01:09:42,382
You said you can smell
them, so smell them.
1055
01:09:45,352 --> 01:09:46,319
Anything?
1056
01:09:46,353 --> 01:09:47,522
No.
1057
01:09:47,555 --> 01:09:50,457
Nothing, sorry.
1058
01:09:53,728 --> 01:09:57,497
Yep, that was bad, sorry,
I'm gonna go brush.
1059
01:09:58,766 --> 01:10:00,902
You know the two
of you are heroes.
1060
01:10:00,935 --> 01:10:03,938
Saving the world from
a zombie apocalypse.
1061
01:10:03,971 --> 01:10:05,740
They might even do a
special on you guys
1062
01:10:05,773 --> 01:10:07,742
on one of your
History Channel shows.
1063
01:10:07,775 --> 01:10:11,411
Maybe we should film
this, make a documentary.
1064
01:10:11,445 --> 01:10:14,949
Post it online, no, it would
attract too much attention.
1065
01:10:14,982 --> 01:10:16,684
You already killed
two federal agents.
1066
01:10:16,718 --> 01:10:18,019
You mean ate.
1067
01:10:21,055 --> 01:10:24,859
What do you think,
Mormons or zombies?
1068
01:10:24,892 --> 01:10:26,661
Jehovah's witnesses.
1069
01:10:26,694 --> 01:10:28,930
We're overdue.
1070
01:10:28,963 --> 01:10:30,965
I got it.
1071
01:10:32,466 --> 01:10:34,468
Be careful dear.
1072
01:11:00,862 --> 01:11:03,965
Whoa, you zapped the Jehovahs.
1073
01:11:04,832 --> 01:11:08,870
Oh no way guys I'm full,
Bill you gotta take these.
1074
01:11:10,037 --> 01:11:11,572
They're not even zombies.
1075
01:11:11,606 --> 01:11:14,374
No, ID says Homeland Security.
1076
01:11:21,048 --> 01:11:24,317
Would you look at this.
1077
01:11:26,053 --> 01:11:30,024
Mission authorized
capture prime Bill Sampler,
1078
01:11:30,057 --> 01:11:34,061
terminate remaining brood,
cut off heads as necessary.
1079
01:11:34,095 --> 01:11:36,664
Guys, they're just
gonna keep coming.
1080
01:11:36,697 --> 01:11:37,899
We have to run.
1081
01:11:37,932 --> 01:11:39,567
They're not taking me alive.
1082
01:11:39,600 --> 01:11:40,868
Or dead.
1083
01:11:41,434 --> 01:11:43,403
Why does it say
prime Bill Sampler?
1084
01:11:43,436 --> 01:11:46,007
I always knew you were special.
1085
01:11:48,543 --> 01:11:51,512
Start talking
agent double O lunch.
1086
01:11:53,080 --> 01:11:54,949
Careful, you're next.
1087
01:11:56,551 --> 01:11:59,386
Excuse me, we haven't met
yet, I'm Shelly Sampler...
1088
01:11:59,419 --> 01:12:01,923
We know who you are and we
know he's the zombie prime.
1089
01:12:01,956 --> 01:12:03,758
Why do you keep calling
me the zombie prime?
1090
01:12:03,791 --> 01:12:05,059
Because you're the prime.
1091
01:12:05,092 --> 01:12:07,028
Prime what, prime suspect?
1092
01:12:07,061 --> 01:12:10,363
Agent Morse, serial
number 4196770.
1093
01:12:11,833 --> 01:12:14,936
We're not talking zombie,
you're getting nothing.
1094
01:12:14,969 --> 01:12:16,369
You will.
1095
01:12:17,705 --> 01:12:20,141
Let's go Carrie,
you earned desert tonight!
1096
01:12:20,174 --> 01:12:22,777
You zombie lovers make me
sick, I'm cutting all your
1097
01:12:22,810 --> 01:12:25,046
mother f'ing heads off.
1098
01:12:25,079 --> 01:12:26,113
Bon apetite Carrie.
1099
01:12:26,147 --> 01:12:28,082
Say nothing Baxter!
1100
01:12:43,664 --> 01:12:45,600
I don't talk to zombie lovers.
1101
01:12:45,633 --> 01:12:48,135
You already are
now what's your name.
1102
01:12:48,169 --> 01:12:51,072
Enough, enough already.
1103
01:12:51,105 --> 01:12:55,142
Then talk already, relief
is just a squirt away.
1104
01:12:55,176 --> 01:12:59,080
What are you guys, some
kind of zombie lesbians?
1105
01:12:59,113 --> 01:13:01,616
She your zombie death partner?
1106
01:13:02,583 --> 01:13:03,918
I'm a meat eater.
1107
01:13:05,620 --> 01:13:09,422
Baxter, agent
Baxter 147 okay, okay.
1108
01:13:09,456 --> 01:13:13,426
I work for...
1109
01:13:21,569 --> 01:13:22,904
Next dear.
1110
01:13:32,580 --> 01:13:35,783
Alright, it's your turn to talk.
1111
01:13:35,816 --> 01:13:37,151
How'd this all start?
1112
01:13:37,184 --> 01:13:39,086
I'm not talking.
1113
01:13:39,120 --> 01:13:43,190
Fine, where shall I bite first.
1114
01:13:48,963 --> 01:13:50,965
Alright.
1115
01:13:52,533 --> 01:13:55,036
It started when
Baxter fed him late,
1116
01:13:55,069 --> 01:13:57,772
the cell was open
and Norris got out.
1117
01:13:58,973 --> 01:14:01,042
Norris who?
1118
01:14:01,075 --> 01:14:05,046
Edgar Norris, the prime,
well... the second prime zombie.
1119
01:14:05,079 --> 01:14:08,082
Youngstown, Ohio,
the banker you ate.
1120
01:14:08,115 --> 01:14:09,550
The zombie that bit me?
1121
01:14:09,583 --> 01:14:11,986
The prime's name was Edgar.
1122
01:14:12,019 --> 01:14:16,524
Yes well Betabrude's first
prime was lieutenant Sullivan,
1123
01:14:16,557 --> 01:14:19,727
but he escaped
and bit the banker.
1124
01:14:19,760 --> 01:14:21,696
And then you cut
off Sullivan's head.
1125
01:14:21,729 --> 01:14:25,199
Crushed in an industrial press.
1126
01:14:25,232 --> 01:14:27,802
Huh. Schwarzenegger fan.
1127
01:14:30,204 --> 01:14:32,940
So now you're the prime.
1128
01:14:32,974 --> 01:14:36,644
The prime, the
boss, the big cheese.
1129
01:14:36,677 --> 01:14:40,014
You're the prime infect or.
1130
01:14:40,047 --> 01:14:42,083
Ketchup stains are so brutal.
1131
01:14:43,884 --> 01:14:46,620
They tortured
me. She grabbed my...
1132
01:14:46,654 --> 01:14:48,689
She was gonna eat my Johnson.
1133
01:14:48,723 --> 01:14:51,058
Baxter you sweat
like a little girl.
1134
01:14:51,092 --> 01:14:53,094
She grabbed my balls hard.
1135
01:14:53,127 --> 01:14:54,195
She got you to talk.
1136
01:14:54,228 --> 01:14:56,697
I thought you were hurt.
1137
01:14:56,731 --> 01:14:58,032
Oh yeah?
1138
01:14:58,065 --> 01:15:00,267
Oh no stop, oh just stop.
1139
01:15:01,235 --> 01:15:03,304
I'm taking you
back dead or alive.
1140
01:15:03,337 --> 01:15:06,240
Nobody kills my
brother-in-law, again.
1141
01:15:06,273 --> 01:15:09,677
I saw we eat them now.
1142
01:15:11,145 --> 01:15:12,880
Keep it together soldier.
1143
01:15:12,913 --> 01:15:16,183
Come on, Semper Fi!
1144
01:15:16,217 --> 01:15:17,952
Semper Fi.
1145
01:15:17,985 --> 01:15:20,521
Take them to the bathroom.
1146
01:15:37,805 --> 01:15:40,641
Now be good or
breakfast will come sooner
1147
01:15:40,674 --> 01:15:41,842
than you think.
1148
01:15:46,914 --> 01:15:49,183
It's ketchup!
1149
01:16:05,766 --> 01:16:08,602
You hear anything out there?
1150
01:16:10,805 --> 01:16:13,240
Good, then sleep my dear.
1151
01:16:14,341 --> 01:16:16,844
We're gonna have to kill them.
1152
01:16:16,877 --> 01:16:19,780
Maybe for the good of
everyone, I should surrender
1153
01:16:19,814 --> 01:16:21,982
and you guys can
get your lives back.
1154
01:16:22,016 --> 01:16:25,286
No, I will not let them
turn you into some sort of
1155
01:16:25,319 --> 01:16:28,355
a CIA Bourne of
the dead assassin.
1156
01:16:28,389 --> 01:16:30,324
Well then we're
gonna have to run.
1157
01:16:30,357 --> 01:16:33,961
I pay my taxes, this is my
house, I am not going anywhere.
1158
01:16:33,994 --> 01:16:36,330
Shelly, you're broke, you're
halfway towards eviction,
1159
01:16:36,363 --> 01:16:39,200
and this isn't going to
cover four people on the run.
1160
01:16:39,233 --> 01:16:44,238
What I mean is, that I am a US
citizen, and I, we have rights.
1161
01:16:44,438 --> 01:16:47,875
Are the dead
considered citizens?
1162
01:16:47,908 --> 01:16:50,811
Alright well then we're
gonna have to make a deal.
1163
01:16:50,845 --> 01:16:52,646
What kind of deal?
1164
01:16:52,680 --> 01:16:56,851
In any negotiation, you
wanna have bargaining power.
1165
01:17:01,388 --> 01:17:02,623
Huh.
1166
01:17:04,091 --> 01:17:08,028
Nobody knows we're here,
their feed cycles almost up.
1167
01:17:08,062 --> 01:17:09,130
We're lunch!
1168
01:17:09,163 --> 01:17:11,232
You are a useless wimp.
1169
01:17:11,265 --> 01:17:14,902
Oh my god, oh a little girl
squeezed my tiny little penis.
1170
01:17:14,935 --> 01:17:16,780
You have no idea how
strong that female zombie was.
1171
01:17:16,804 --> 01:17:19,073
You are a useless, you're
a pinko, commie sissy.
1172
01:17:19,106 --> 01:17:21,375
We need to talk to
them and negotiate.
1173
01:17:21,408 --> 01:17:23,077
You know they seem kind of nice.
1174
01:17:23,110 --> 01:17:25,246
What are you, you don't
negotiate with a zombie,
1175
01:17:25,279 --> 01:17:26,814
you cut their
mother f'ing heads off.
1176
01:17:26,847 --> 01:17:28,716
How is that gonna help us now?
1177
01:17:28,749 --> 01:17:30,784
Who's side are you on?
1178
01:17:30,818 --> 01:17:33,821
I've got to get word
back to headquarters.
1179
01:17:33,854 --> 01:17:36,357
Alright, here's
the plan soldier.
1180
01:17:36,390 --> 01:17:37,992
What?
1181
01:17:38,025 --> 01:17:41,228
We let them eat you
first, flail a lot, scream,
1182
01:17:41,262 --> 01:17:42,229
distract them...
1183
01:17:42,263 --> 01:17:43,230
Why do I have to...
1184
01:17:43,264 --> 01:17:45,332
My molar is a transponder.
1185
01:17:46,500 --> 01:17:47,602
Zombies can't digest teeth.
1186
01:17:47,636 --> 01:17:50,838
Worst case scenario they
track it back to the zombie
1187
01:17:50,871 --> 01:17:52,072
scat pile.
1188
01:17:52,106 --> 01:17:55,809
Best case scenario I find some
metal and tap out a message
1189
01:17:55,843 --> 01:17:57,845
back to base.
1190
01:17:59,313 --> 01:18:00,381
Where are your keys?
1191
01:18:00,414 --> 01:18:02,449
Oh, in my pocket.
1192
01:18:09,390 --> 01:18:11,091
Okay.
1193
01:18:11,125 --> 01:18:12,426
You're insane.
1194
01:18:12,459 --> 01:18:14,828
Do you want to turn
out to be a zombie?
1195
01:18:14,862 --> 01:18:16,864
All right.
1196
01:18:17,431 --> 01:18:20,367
Hold still
soldier, I'm going in.
1197
01:18:30,044 --> 01:18:35,115
I leave you alone
for five minutes, kinky.
1198
01:18:35,149 --> 01:18:37,751
Hey guys, that's a no no.
1199
01:18:38,786 --> 01:18:39,887
Now, we need to talk.
1200
01:18:39,920 --> 01:18:42,524
In five minutes, this place
is crawling with agents.
1201
01:18:42,557 --> 01:18:46,760
You're dead, your
family's dead, your...
1202
01:18:46,794 --> 01:18:49,496
You are a very angry lady.
1203
01:18:50,331 --> 01:18:52,466
Take the nice one to the den.
1204
01:18:52,499 --> 01:18:55,970
I'm junk food,
she's the tasty one.
1205
01:18:56,003 --> 01:18:58,872
Come on lover boy.
1206
01:19:00,274 --> 01:19:04,512
Okay secret
agent man, you wanna live?
1207
01:19:04,546 --> 01:19:06,180
Here's how it's gonna end.
1208
01:19:06,213 --> 01:19:09,350
I am tired, hungry, and
everyone else has eaten
1209
01:19:09,383 --> 01:19:11,385
except for me.
1210
01:19:11,952 --> 01:19:16,558
Now, I want my life back,
and you're gonna help me.
1211
01:19:16,591 --> 01:19:20,394
Now, we know who you are,
we know what you are.
1212
01:19:20,427 --> 01:19:22,263
Shelly, I'm not
so sure about this.
1213
01:19:22,296 --> 01:19:26,033
Let's just say the government
does need an agent prime?
1214
01:19:26,066 --> 01:19:29,537
Fine, who am I to argue
with homeland security?
1215
01:19:29,571 --> 01:19:33,907
We are just patriotic
citizens, ready to negotiate.
1216
01:19:33,941 --> 01:19:35,943
The agency doesn't negotiate.
1217
01:19:35,976 --> 01:19:37,978
Okay then.
1218
01:19:38,613 --> 01:19:41,382
Carrie, you do
the honors, enjoy.
1219
01:19:41,415 --> 01:19:44,519
No, no I'll talk, I'll talk.
1220
01:19:44,552 --> 01:19:46,554
We want off the grid.
1221
01:19:46,588 --> 01:19:50,291
New social security numbers,
new identities, fresh start.
1222
01:19:50,324 --> 01:19:52,026
And no taxes.
1223
01:19:52,059 --> 01:19:54,395
He has a point, paying
taxes when you're dead
1224
01:19:54,428 --> 01:19:55,429
isn't quite fair.
1225
01:19:55,462 --> 01:19:56,665
We're not the IRS.
1226
01:19:56,698 --> 01:20:00,934
And as long as Bill is dead,
you will supply him with food
1227
01:20:00,968 --> 01:20:03,137
for the rest of his death.
1228
01:20:03,170 --> 01:20:05,607
Otherwise I can't
guarantee his eating patterns.
1229
01:20:05,640 --> 01:20:08,008
Brains, he likes brains.
1230
01:20:10,210 --> 01:20:13,213
Morse is my captain, I can't.
1231
01:20:14,214 --> 01:20:17,552
I mean if she even suspects
I'm negotiating, I'm dead.
1232
01:20:17,585 --> 01:20:18,886
Or a zombie.
1233
01:20:18,919 --> 01:20:21,021
Or a lunch.
1234
01:20:21,488 --> 01:20:23,991
Morse is tough as nails,
but she's nothing compared
1235
01:20:24,024 --> 01:20:26,193
to the hard ass
agent we work for.
1236
01:20:26,226 --> 01:20:29,496
If you take us out,
they'll just send more.
1237
01:20:29,531 --> 01:20:32,534
They'll never give up.
They'll just keep coming.
1238
01:20:32,567 --> 01:20:34,968
They're like zombies,
only from the government.
1239
01:20:35,002 --> 01:20:38,138
Alright fine, then he's lunch
and the asshole in the bathroom
1240
01:20:38,172 --> 01:20:39,340
is dinner.
1241
01:20:39,373 --> 01:20:43,143
No, it's time for what they
call in one of Bill's shows,
1242
01:20:43,177 --> 01:20:45,946
a field upgrade.
1243
01:20:45,979 --> 01:20:49,283
Upgrade, you mean
a field promotion.
1244
01:20:49,316 --> 01:20:51,385
That requires a commander
in the field to be wounded
1245
01:20:51,418 --> 01:20:53,420
or killed or...
1246
01:20:54,656 --> 01:20:55,923
Oh.
1247
01:20:55,956 --> 01:20:58,225
Baxter here is gonna be a hero.
1248
01:20:58,258 --> 01:21:01,328
He is gonna save the
country, win a medal,
1249
01:21:01,362 --> 01:21:04,465
and earn a field promotion.
1250
01:21:05,567 --> 01:21:07,569
Carrie.
1251
01:21:16,009 --> 01:21:18,479
Baby, you know how excited
I get when you do that.
1252
01:21:18,513 --> 01:21:20,180
Yeah.
1253
01:21:22,950 --> 01:21:25,953
No, no, no!
1254
01:21:34,829 --> 01:21:37,164
Leave him alone
you zombie freaks.
1255
01:21:37,197 --> 01:21:39,099
That is no way
to talk to a lady.
1256
01:21:39,133 --> 01:21:42,136
You don't scare me.
1257
01:21:46,608 --> 01:21:50,210
Shut up, no one
likes a whiny dinner.
1258
01:21:55,683 --> 01:21:58,520
You interrupted my
meal, I would listen hard
1259
01:21:58,553 --> 01:22:02,690
to whatever she says and
yes, is the preferred answer.
1260
01:22:02,724 --> 01:22:06,728
Relax Bill, it's
Carrie's turn to eat.
1261
01:22:06,761 --> 01:22:08,996
Baxter is looking
a little stringy.
1262
01:22:09,029 --> 01:22:10,130
I'll soften him up.
1263
01:22:10,164 --> 01:22:11,599
You bastard...
1264
01:22:11,633 --> 01:22:15,102
Hold your tongue or
I'll do it with my teeth.
1265
01:22:16,370 --> 01:22:17,572
We're gonna let you go.
1266
01:22:17,605 --> 01:22:20,073
We just have a few
simple requests,
1267
01:22:20,107 --> 01:22:22,209
and everybody's happy.
1268
01:22:22,242 --> 01:22:24,278
You can say yes now.
1269
01:22:28,583 --> 01:22:30,685
Yes.
1270
01:22:30,718 --> 01:22:32,352
Good.
1271
01:22:32,386 --> 01:22:36,691
Charlie, guard her while
we go get everything ready.
1272
01:22:41,596 --> 01:22:42,697
I can still save him.
1273
01:22:42,730 --> 01:22:46,568
Shut it G-man, G-woman.
1274
01:22:46,601 --> 01:22:48,302
You haven't been bitten.
1275
01:22:48,335 --> 01:22:51,305
Bill's gone, Carrie
too, and your sister
1276
01:22:51,338 --> 01:22:53,040
she's cracked, lost her mind.
1277
01:22:53,073 --> 01:22:54,576
That's my sister.
1278
01:22:54,609 --> 01:22:58,613
But we can save her,
some therapy sure,
1279
01:22:58,646 --> 01:23:01,482
there will be
some scarring, painful.
1280
01:23:01,516 --> 01:23:06,119
But my team has the
best lab in the world
1281
01:23:06,153 --> 01:23:07,254
and you can join us.
1282
01:23:07,287 --> 01:23:09,791
The agency needs a
smart guy like you.
1283
01:23:09,824 --> 01:23:13,494
I could get you a level
three, five clearance.
1284
01:23:13,528 --> 01:23:16,396
Level five, go
anywhere, anytime.
1285
01:23:16,430 --> 01:23:21,034
It's your destiny kid, we've
been watching you for years.
1286
01:23:21,068 --> 01:23:22,770
We know all about you.
1287
01:23:22,804 --> 01:23:26,674
You see things, you have what
it takes, you're special.
1288
01:23:26,708 --> 01:23:29,142
Join us, untie the ropes.
1289
01:23:30,277 --> 01:23:32,479
You've got a bright future kid.
1290
01:23:32,514 --> 01:23:34,248
Unlimited resources.
1291
01:23:34,281 --> 01:23:36,083
And more.
1292
01:23:36,116 --> 01:23:38,653
I can even get you field work.
1293
01:23:38,686 --> 01:23:41,054
And access to
the NSA data banks.
1294
01:23:41,088 --> 01:23:43,758
Don't push it kid, come on.
1295
01:23:46,761 --> 01:23:49,296
Quick, where are the tasers?
1296
01:24:02,476 --> 01:24:04,444
You ready for this soldier?
1297
01:24:04,478 --> 01:24:06,714
Semper Fi.
1298
01:24:06,748 --> 01:24:09,784
You take the girl, the
prime is mine, booyah!
1299
01:24:09,817 --> 01:24:11,184
Oh, booyah.
1300
01:24:19,126 --> 01:24:20,427
Oh jeez.
1301
01:24:28,201 --> 01:24:30,470
Shelly, get out of here
while you still can!
1302
01:24:31,839 --> 01:24:34,107
Carrie how could you?
1303
01:24:46,921 --> 01:24:48,756
What have you done?
1304
01:24:48,790 --> 01:24:52,594
You and I will rule
a new world order.
1305
01:24:52,627 --> 01:24:56,129
A powerful, invincible
army of the undead.
1306
01:24:57,665 --> 01:25:01,703
These mortals, they're
nothing, they're food.
1307
01:25:01,736 --> 01:25:03,705
You killed my wife.
1308
01:25:03,738 --> 01:25:05,372
Shelly was nothing.
1309
01:25:05,405 --> 01:25:09,611
She was a mere inconvenience
to your path to your destiny.
1310
01:25:09,644 --> 01:25:13,213
Do you feel this power, this
power between us coursing
1311
01:25:13,246 --> 01:25:15,917
through your dead veins.
1312
01:25:15,950 --> 01:25:18,853
Kiss me before I kill the human.
1313
01:25:19,754 --> 01:25:22,657
Not on my watch you freaks!
1314
01:25:22,690 --> 01:25:23,691
I got this.
1315
01:25:49,951 --> 01:25:53,655
You killed my
queen, prepare to die.
1316
01:26:02,930 --> 01:26:05,667
Baxter you killed the prime.
1317
01:26:05,700 --> 01:26:08,368
You're alive, oh Baxter.
1318
01:26:09,971 --> 01:26:11,939
Now what?
1319
01:26:11,973 --> 01:26:13,841
We've got to get his
blood back to the lab,
1320
01:26:13,875 --> 01:26:14,976
we can't lose this strain.
1321
01:26:15,009 --> 01:26:18,245
Get the machete,
cut his head off.
1322
01:26:19,947 --> 01:26:20,948
Morse.
1323
01:26:20,982 --> 01:26:22,583
Not now soldier.
1324
01:26:22,617 --> 01:26:24,919
The virus dies within
minutes once the host fails.
1325
01:26:24,952 --> 01:26:27,454
What kind of kitchen
doesn't have Tupperware?
1326
01:26:27,487 --> 01:26:28,488
Morse.
1327
01:26:28,823 --> 01:26:30,625
Baxter we've got to move, what?
1328
01:26:30,658 --> 01:26:33,828
Look, you're hand.
1329
01:26:37,031 --> 01:26:40,635
Son of a dead bitch he bit me.
1330
01:26:42,904 --> 01:26:44,404
I'm the new prime.
1331
01:26:45,873 --> 01:26:47,875
Okay.
1332
01:26:47,909 --> 01:26:51,244
Okay, get me back
to the lab Baxter
1333
01:26:51,278 --> 01:26:52,947
you're the new
mission leader, soldier.
1334
01:26:52,980 --> 01:26:55,750
Get me back before I turn.
1335
01:26:55,783 --> 01:26:57,952
Ma'am yes ma'am.
1336
01:26:57,985 --> 01:27:00,021
That son of a bitch.
1337
01:27:00,054 --> 01:27:03,356
Not now Baxter, mission,
god, and country soldier.
1338
01:27:03,390 --> 01:27:06,326
Let the cleaners
handle this mess.
1339
01:27:06,359 --> 01:27:09,764
Wait, what about your wife?
1340
01:27:12,499 --> 01:27:15,970
What kind of a partner
would I be to her now?
1341
01:27:16,003 --> 01:27:18,840
Tell her...
1342
01:27:18,873 --> 01:27:22,977
Tell her the truth, I'm dead.
1343
01:27:23,010 --> 01:27:26,413
Tell her I died in combat.
1344
01:27:26,446 --> 01:27:28,315
It would be a privilege ma'am.
1345
01:27:28,348 --> 01:27:30,885
You'll make the wall of honor.
1346
01:27:58,780 --> 01:28:01,314
Lousy store brand ketchup.
1347
01:28:50,731 --> 01:28:53,835
You came alone, risky?
1348
01:28:53,868 --> 01:28:57,672
Not really, I never am alone.
1349
01:28:57,705 --> 01:29:00,975
Well look who came for dinner.
1350
01:29:06,681 --> 01:29:07,882
Guys.
1351
01:29:09,083 --> 01:29:11,052
Good, it was good.
1352
01:29:14,121 --> 01:29:17,424
I like what you
did with the place.
1353
01:29:19,861 --> 01:29:22,163
Oh, ha, very festive.
1354
01:29:22,196 --> 01:29:23,998
So who's birthday is it?
1355
01:29:24,031 --> 01:29:26,466
Hey, look who
decided to show up.
1356
01:29:26,499 --> 01:29:27,768
You know I almost missed you.
1357
01:29:27,802 --> 01:29:29,770
Yeah, I bet.
1358
01:29:29,804 --> 01:29:32,707
Status green,
repeat, status green.
1359
01:29:39,146 --> 01:29:40,681
Your birthday?
1360
01:29:40,715 --> 01:29:43,050
No sir, but nice new suit.
1361
01:29:44,151 --> 01:29:48,421
I just made captain, I've
gotta dress like a captain.
1362
01:29:48,455 --> 01:29:50,423
I see everything okay,
1363
01:29:50,457 --> 01:29:53,127
no problems with the
house, neighbors?
1364
01:29:55,963 --> 01:29:57,064
Your birthday?
1365
01:29:57,098 --> 01:29:58,633
Getting close.
1366
01:29:58,666 --> 01:30:00,101
I'll get it.
1367
01:30:00,134 --> 01:30:01,468
Nice marbling.
1368
01:30:01,501 --> 01:30:04,138
Organic certified,
grass fed vegans.
1369
01:30:04,171 --> 01:30:07,642
Good. Honey, I assume
you want those raw?
1370
01:30:07,675 --> 01:30:09,577
Baxter can I get you
anything, a beer?
1371
01:30:09,610 --> 01:30:12,580
No, no I'm fine, let's
get down to business.
1372
01:30:12,613 --> 01:30:13,814
Who's first?
1373
01:30:13,848 --> 01:30:15,082
Birthday boy?
1374
01:30:15,116 --> 01:30:16,951
No, not my birthday.
1375
01:30:19,186 --> 01:30:20,655
So how is she?
1376
01:30:20,688 --> 01:30:21,956
Agent Morse?
1377
01:30:21,989 --> 01:30:24,725
She's fine, safely
tucked away in a secret lab
1378
01:30:24,759 --> 01:30:28,162
serving her country,
never been happier.
1379
01:30:28,195 --> 01:30:32,633
Well, we have a little
exciting news ourselves.
1380
01:30:32,667 --> 01:30:34,635
What no?
1381
01:30:34,669 --> 01:30:36,469
You've been behaving
yourselves right?
1382
01:30:36,503 --> 01:30:38,239
You're in witness
protection now.
1383
01:30:38,272 --> 01:30:40,741
Quite wonderful actually.
1384
01:30:51,285 --> 01:30:54,655
Uncle Baxter.
1385
01:30:54,689 --> 01:30:57,191
You sure you don't want a beer?
1386
01:32:31,152 --> 01:32:34,155
Baby, I know my appetite gets
out of control sometimes-
1387
01:32:34,188 --> 01:32:36,057
I love watchin' you eat baby.
1388
01:32:36,090 --> 01:32:38,626
But I hope you know that
whenever my tummy growls,
1389
01:32:38,659 --> 01:32:39,627
it's only for you.
1390
01:32:39,660 --> 01:32:42,596
Oh, sweetie!
94094
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