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1
00:00:01,030 --> 00:00:04,801
♪ Mysterious instrumental music ♪
2
00:00:04,834 --> 00:00:07,402
(howls)
3
00:00:07,436 --> 00:00:12,441
♪ Mysterious instrumental music ♪
4
00:00:16,012 --> 00:00:19,214
♪ tempo picks up ♪
5
00:00:23,986 --> 00:00:28,991
♪ music becomes more chaotic ♪
6
00:00:29,624 --> 00:00:33,495
(splat sounds
with each title card)
7
00:00:33,528 --> 00:00:37,532
(swirling sounds)
8
00:00:47,944 --> 00:00:52,949
♪ Ominous sounding music ♪
9
00:01:02,624 --> 00:01:06,996
♪ suspenseful music continues ♪
10
00:01:07,029 --> 00:01:09,966
♪ pink panther-
suspense type music ♪
11
00:01:27,917 --> 00:01:32,922
♪ suspense music continues ♪
12
00:01:35,524 --> 00:01:40,529
(footsteps with uptempo
chase style music)
13
00:01:53,743 --> 00:01:58,748
♪ Uptempo Agatha Christie
style suspense music ♪
14
00:02:01,616 --> 00:02:05,054
(a little more
sinister sounding)
15
00:02:05,087 --> 00:02:08,090
(tires screeching)
16
00:02:14,096 --> 00:02:19,101
(Alien sounds -
like a flying saucer)
17
00:02:33,950 --> 00:02:36,085
(sigh)
18
00:02:36,118 --> 00:02:39,856
SHELLY: The day ended like
any other day, traffic from hell
19
00:02:39,889 --> 00:02:44,861
after another dreary temp job.
Accountant temp work is
20
00:02:44,894 --> 00:02:47,096
a long slow death.
21
00:02:47,129 --> 00:02:50,099
Windowless rooms,
mindless data entry,
22
00:02:50,132 --> 00:02:53,736
and rooms with no heat,
I'm not a vampire.
23
00:02:53,769 --> 00:02:56,605
Accountants are
not faceless drones.
24
00:02:56,638 --> 00:02:59,108
Though to be honest, the
clowns they signed me to today
25
00:02:59,141 --> 00:03:03,378
were a bunch of lifeless
number crunching zombies.
26
00:03:05,014 --> 00:03:09,018
Oh well, home again,
home again, chickity chick.
27
00:03:10,518 --> 00:03:13,421
♪ Mysterious music ♪
28
00:03:36,611 --> 00:03:41,616
Home, be grateful for what
you have, that's what I say.
29
00:03:46,155 --> 00:03:49,158
BILL: Hi sweetie,
watch the plastic.
30
00:03:49,191 --> 00:03:51,761
Honey, what are you doing?
31
00:03:51,794 --> 00:03:53,595
I couldn't just
sit around anymore,
32
00:03:53,628 --> 00:03:56,032
so I had to do something.
33
00:03:56,065 --> 00:03:58,533
You're repainting the house.
34
00:03:59,702 --> 00:04:03,205
I'm not so sure paint's
gonna help this place.
35
00:04:03,239 --> 00:04:05,841
Still got a lot of prep
work and taping to do,
36
00:04:05,875 --> 00:04:07,877
how was your day?
37
00:04:07,910 --> 00:04:11,080
It was fine, any
luck on your end?
38
00:04:11,613 --> 00:04:14,717
Nothing, no, no meetings.
39
00:04:14,750 --> 00:04:16,685
Uh, your brother called.
40
00:04:16,719 --> 00:04:18,620
What did Charlie want?
41
00:04:18,653 --> 00:04:20,923
What he always wants,
another conspiracy story.
42
00:04:20,957 --> 00:04:24,526
I hope he's not back
together with Vanessa again.
43
00:04:24,559 --> 00:04:26,494
She's not as weird
as the last one.
44
00:04:26,528 --> 00:04:28,798
True, she was a tramp.
45
00:04:28,831 --> 00:04:33,568
The word is skank, Shell,
he's too odd for a tramp.
46
00:04:34,837 --> 00:04:36,806
Anyway he said he
couldn't make dinner
47
00:04:36,839 --> 00:04:39,241
tomorrow something about a
meeting or something.
48
00:04:39,275 --> 00:04:41,476
Hmm.
49
00:04:44,780 --> 00:04:46,282
SHELLY:
And so all was normal,
50
00:04:46,315 --> 00:04:48,550
Bill half reading, half
watching his geek show
51
00:04:48,583 --> 00:04:53,521
on some Roman legion blah
diddy blah, that's my man.
52
00:04:53,555 --> 00:04:56,058
One of these days I'll have
to call the cable company.
53
00:04:56,092 --> 00:04:58,828
They cancelled our service but
never actually turned it off.
54
00:04:58,861 --> 00:05:00,863
Eh, screw em.
55
00:05:01,931 --> 00:05:04,834
He hadn't written
a note in so long,
56
00:05:04,867 --> 00:05:08,771
Bill was such a romantic
before the job trouble.
57
00:05:08,804 --> 00:05:11,874
"Roses are red, violets
are blue, we maybe poor
58
00:05:11,907 --> 00:05:15,845
but I so love you, yours
through eternity, Bill.
59
00:05:15,878 --> 00:05:19,715
Aw, I love it Bill, thank you.
60
00:05:20,883 --> 00:05:22,617
I love you too.
61
00:05:22,650 --> 00:05:25,553
We're gonna work through
this, just like everything else.
62
00:05:25,587 --> 00:05:28,556
And I know your next job
is right around the corner.
63
00:05:28,590 --> 00:05:32,261
You are too good at what
you do for it not to be.
64
00:05:32,294 --> 00:05:34,263
Hey did you get the detergent?
65
00:05:34,296 --> 00:05:36,564
♪ Dance club music ♪
66
00:05:36,598 --> 00:05:38,968
Hey, you think I
should get one of these?
67
00:05:39,001 --> 00:05:41,270
(TV noise in background)
What? What are they hawking now?
68
00:05:41,303 --> 00:05:43,272
TV:
Waiting for it's next meal.
69
00:05:43,305 --> 00:05:47,276
Do something, be the hunter,
with hunter's friend,
70
00:05:47,309 --> 00:05:51,814
the all new, all natural, and
all organic male enhancement
71
00:05:51,847 --> 00:05:53,983
from Somoco Inc.
72
00:05:54,016 --> 00:05:55,918
Bill you hunt just fine.
73
00:05:55,951 --> 00:05:57,086
Did you get the, uh...
74
00:05:57,119 --> 00:06:00,756
Detergent, yeah
it's on the washer.
75
00:06:00,790 --> 00:06:03,092
Like I said, same old, same old.
76
00:06:03,125 --> 00:06:04,236
♪ Upbeat plucky music ♪
We're connected,
77
00:06:04,260 --> 00:06:05,895
we finish each other sentences,
78
00:06:05,928 --> 00:06:08,330
nothing could keep us apart.
79
00:06:09,765 --> 00:06:11,834
Damn spiders!
(crunches sound effect)
80
00:06:11,867 --> 00:06:14,837
Ugh! I hate creepy things, Bill.
81
00:06:14,870 --> 00:06:17,306
Yeah, I'll clean that up.
82
00:06:17,339 --> 00:06:22,111
♪ Mysterious instrumental music ♪
83
00:06:38,794 --> 00:06:42,331
Amazing how fast
eight years goes by.
84
00:06:42,364 --> 00:06:47,369
♪ Mysterious music ♪
(metal clanks)
85
00:06:48,704 --> 00:06:53,209
Honey, can you go check the
backdoor, see if it's locked?
86
00:06:53,242 --> 00:06:57,012
I think there's some kids
out there or something.
87
00:06:57,046 --> 00:06:59,181
Okay.
88
00:07:03,385 --> 00:07:08,057
Probably another opossum,
don't worry sweetie,
89
00:07:08,090 --> 00:07:10,092
I got this.
90
00:07:14,029 --> 00:07:16,732
(scary tones)
91
00:07:23,405 --> 00:07:26,175
(snores)
92
00:07:26,208 --> 00:07:29,879
Turn over, you're snoring again.
93
00:07:32,281 --> 00:07:35,217
(groans - then a crash sound)
94
00:07:35,251 --> 00:07:38,254
Bill?
95
00:07:40,422 --> 00:07:43,691
(thud) Ah!
(crashes)
96
00:07:43,726 --> 00:07:46,795
(tense creepy music)
97
00:07:52,201 --> 00:07:55,404
SHELLY: Here's a tip,
someone breaks into your house,
98
00:07:55,437 --> 00:07:59,208
the first thing you grab
shouldn't be a puzzle box.
99
00:07:59,241 --> 00:08:04,246
No one is afraid of puzzles,
anyway I keep going.
100
00:08:04,446 --> 00:08:06,949
I figure a stupid homeless
dude broke in for food
101
00:08:06,982 --> 00:08:11,787
or the flat screen.
And that's when I see them.
102
00:08:11,820 --> 00:08:14,957
I look down, it's Bill!
103
00:08:14,990 --> 00:08:17,159
You ever have a dream
where you try to scream
104
00:08:17,193 --> 00:08:20,229
but nothing comes
out, Bill lay dead.
105
00:08:20,262 --> 00:08:23,866
He killed him with our
only decent carving knife.
106
00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:29,171
(CRACK! SCARY SCOUND)
107
00:08:29,205 --> 00:08:34,210
(cracks with each move)
108
00:08:41,850 --> 00:08:44,753
(groans)
109
00:08:44,787 --> 00:08:46,455
(screams)
110
00:08:46,488 --> 00:08:48,457
♪ Tense music ♪
111
00:08:48,490 --> 00:08:50,025
It keeps coming so fast!
112
00:08:50,059 --> 00:08:52,294
It was like a deranged shark.
113
00:08:52,328 --> 00:08:56,498
(growls)
(screams)
114
00:08:58,867 --> 00:09:02,738
(clang as the wood
hits. Then squish)
115
00:09:03,505 --> 00:09:08,344
(he groans, gargles)
116
00:09:08,377 --> 00:09:11,513
(eating sounds)
117
00:09:12,514 --> 00:09:15,150
Everything blurred as I
passed out, but I swear
118
00:09:15,184 --> 00:09:18,854
I thought I saw him take
a bite of the brain.
119
00:09:24,994 --> 00:09:27,997
TV: Each side
found itself trapped.
120
00:09:34,470 --> 00:09:37,506
After several weeks
of skirmishes and faltering end
121
00:09:37,539 --> 00:09:40,209
runs, the southern
forces began to rally
122
00:09:40,242 --> 00:09:41,510
on the night of the ninth.
123
00:09:41,543 --> 00:09:42,578
Bill?
124
00:09:42,611 --> 00:09:45,581
TV: By morning, the
northern generals realized
125
00:09:45,614 --> 00:09:48,817
they were facing
possible defeat.
126
00:09:49,551 --> 00:09:51,887
Beginning with a
volley of cannon fire.
127
00:09:51,920 --> 00:09:54,089
Can you close the blinds Shell?
128
00:09:54,123 --> 00:09:58,093
You've been a busy
bee, look at this place.
129
00:09:59,194 --> 00:10:02,398
Can you turn off the
lights, I'm just so tired.
130
00:10:02,431 --> 00:10:06,502
Aw, of course you are sweetie,
what time did you wake up?
131
00:10:07,503 --> 00:10:10,873
I had the craziest
dream last night.
132
00:10:10,906 --> 00:10:15,077
I-uh-It's more of a nightmare
really, I never have nightmares.
133
00:10:16,211 --> 00:10:20,215
Last night you were dead and I-
Ooh...
134
00:10:21,950 --> 00:10:26,622
Boy, I need some
coffee and aspirin bad.
135
00:10:26,655 --> 00:10:28,290
You want me to make you some?
136
00:10:28,324 --> 00:10:29,992
Mm.
137
00:10:30,025 --> 00:10:31,093
(laughs)
138
00:10:31,126 --> 00:10:34,129
Crazy stuff.
139
00:10:36,165 --> 00:10:38,233
(snores)
140
00:10:40,569 --> 00:10:43,505
♪ Mysterious music ♪
141
00:10:48,610 --> 00:10:51,480
Bill, why did you?
142
00:10:56,285 --> 00:10:58,620
Bill, sweetie?
143
00:10:59,455 --> 00:11:01,457
We gotta talk.
144
00:11:04,159 --> 00:11:06,161
Bill, wake up.
145
00:11:06,628 --> 00:11:08,597
Bill, oh my God, get up Bill.
146
00:11:08,630 --> 00:11:11,667
You're hurt, oh my God,
Bill, wake up we're gonna take
147
00:11:11,701 --> 00:11:13,936
you to the hospital,
please don't die on me baby.
148
00:11:13,969 --> 00:11:15,971
You're so cold, oh my God.
149
00:11:16,004 --> 00:11:21,009
I'm so-, in-, see
and-, oh - ♪light music ♪
150
00:11:21,210 --> 00:11:22,945
Oh hi, Shell.
151
00:11:22,978 --> 00:11:24,480
Hi
152
00:11:24,513 --> 00:11:28,016
I'm so tired, what time is it?
153
00:11:28,050 --> 00:11:30,686
Oh right, yeah I think
I can explain that,
154
00:11:30,720 --> 00:11:32,621
it's all a little blurry but...
155
00:11:32,654 --> 00:11:34,390
Honey, you look like crap,
156
00:11:34,423 --> 00:11:36,258
and that wound is
horrible what happened?
157
00:11:36,291 --> 00:11:39,928
Oh this, it doesn't
really hurt or anything.
158
00:11:39,962 --> 00:11:42,231
But, I am quite tired.
159
00:11:42,264 --> 00:11:44,633
You're so cold, I
mean really really cold.
160
00:11:44,666 --> 00:11:46,935
No, no, no it's okay
I'm fine, no blanket.
161
00:11:46,969 --> 00:11:50,639
Maybe just some hydrogen
peroxide or something for this.
162
00:11:50,672 --> 00:11:53,409
Maybe the Jenson's dog bit me.
163
00:11:53,442 --> 00:11:56,278
I'm pretty sure that's a-
164
00:11:56,311 --> 00:12:00,649
a human tooth.
165
00:12:00,682 --> 00:12:04,019
Your wound looks really
bad, it's gonna need stitches.
166
00:12:04,052 --> 00:12:05,020
Let's go to the ER.
167
00:12:05,053 --> 00:12:08,524
On a Sunday, it'll be
a horror show, weirdos...
168
00:12:08,557 --> 00:12:13,028
And doctors we
can afford, let's go.
169
00:12:13,061 --> 00:12:15,130
(rumbles from stomach)
170
00:12:15,164 --> 00:12:18,534
Okay, I'm gonna need a minute.
171
00:12:24,707 --> 00:12:26,408
♪ Mysterious music ♪
172
00:12:26,442 --> 00:12:27,509
Bill?
173
00:12:31,313 --> 00:12:35,484
(crunches)
(screams, he groans)
174
00:12:36,084 --> 00:12:38,253
(groans, growls)
175
00:12:38,287 --> 00:12:40,422
(WHACK!)
176
00:12:41,724 --> 00:12:44,426
I ate him for you.
177
00:12:46,261 --> 00:12:48,664
(crunches)
178
00:12:51,333 --> 00:12:52,702
I could've sworn I killed him,
179
00:12:52,735 --> 00:12:54,303
and that's when I called you.
180
00:12:54,336 --> 00:12:56,347
CLAIRE: Okay, I thought
that you were making this up,
181
00:12:56,371 --> 00:12:59,241
but he's actually
sucking the thumb.
182
00:12:59,274 --> 00:13:02,244
Do you have any rope,
duct tape, a machete?
183
00:13:02,277 --> 00:13:04,379
I should get his C-PAP mask.
184
00:13:04,413 --> 00:13:06,381
His sleep apnea
is not the issue.
185
00:13:06,415 --> 00:13:07,349
He could die in his sleep.
186
00:13:07,382 --> 00:13:09,251
Shelly, he's sucking
a thumb that isn't his.
187
00:13:09,284 --> 00:13:10,319
Yes, yes but...
188
00:13:10,352 --> 00:13:11,721
Where is the rest of the corpse?
189
00:13:11,754 --> 00:13:13,589
That's a good question.
190
00:13:13,622 --> 00:13:16,091
All I found was a
suit, no bones no blood,
191
00:13:16,124 --> 00:13:19,729
no wallet, nothing,
but I did find this.
192
00:13:19,762 --> 00:13:23,098
Okay, that is disgusting.
193
00:13:23,131 --> 00:13:25,300
Guy never brushed.
194
00:13:25,768 --> 00:13:28,738
Okay, when he wakes up we are
going straight to the hospital.
195
00:13:28,771 --> 00:13:31,507
Yeah and then they ask what
happened and call the police
196
00:13:31,540 --> 00:13:33,308
and he goes to jail for murder.
197
00:13:33,342 --> 00:13:34,744
Cannibalism as self defense.
198
00:13:34,777 --> 00:13:35,879
Semantics.
199
00:13:35,912 --> 00:13:38,280
No it's like stand your
ground, only eat your ground.
200
00:13:38,313 --> 00:13:42,284
Okay, with no body once he's
done with dessert, he's clear.
201
00:13:42,317 --> 00:13:45,153
And then what, I tell the
doctor that he got bit by a dog
202
00:13:45,187 --> 00:13:46,488
or an opossum?
203
00:13:46,522 --> 00:13:49,391
Shelly, this bastard
was trying to kill you, okay?
204
00:13:49,424 --> 00:13:51,460
Bill was just
protecting his wife.
205
00:13:51,493 --> 00:13:54,764
He ripped the guys
brain out and ate it.
206
00:13:54,797 --> 00:13:57,132
I saw him.
207
00:13:57,165 --> 00:13:58,133
I need a drink.
208
00:13:58,166 --> 00:13:59,134
(whips sound effect)
209
00:13:59,167 --> 00:14:00,102
Oh shit!
210
00:14:00,135 --> 00:14:01,775
This guy just tried
to eat me, did you see
211
00:14:01,804 --> 00:14:03,639
this bastard is
trying to eat me.
212
00:14:03,672 --> 00:14:07,209
Dear, dear wake up dear come on.
213
00:14:07,242 --> 00:14:09,144
I seem to have
fallen asleep again.
214
00:14:09,177 --> 00:14:13,783
Jesus, it smells like you
ate the ass end of a cow Bill.
215
00:14:13,816 --> 00:14:15,818
No, a banker I think.
216
00:14:15,852 --> 00:14:18,520
Don't... Don't worry guys I'm
really feeling much better,
217
00:14:18,554 --> 00:14:22,792
like I just drank 10 Red Bulls,
I feel invigorated, strong.
218
00:14:22,825 --> 00:14:25,227
You also smell strong
honey, so why don't you go
219
00:14:25,260 --> 00:14:28,230
take a shower and we can talk
about why you ate a banker
220
00:14:28,263 --> 00:14:29,498
when you're clean.
221
00:14:29,531 --> 00:14:33,368
Oh, uhf, yeah
that's not right, ugh.
222
00:14:33,402 --> 00:14:34,369
I'll be back.
223
00:14:34,403 --> 00:14:37,874
I'll take that dear, oh!
224
00:14:37,907 --> 00:14:40,342
I warned you about marrying him.
225
00:14:42,845 --> 00:14:47,316
Oh there's a little bit
of banker still back there.
226
00:14:50,218 --> 00:14:51,553
There we are.
227
00:14:51,587 --> 00:14:54,623
He saved my life, that is love.
228
00:14:55,457 --> 00:14:57,794
Twisted sure, but love.
229
00:14:59,227 --> 00:15:00,305
Shelly, what are you doing?
230
00:15:00,329 --> 00:15:05,400
Okay. Looks good, that
looks good, alright I got this.
231
00:15:05,434 --> 00:15:08,604
Cleaning is not the answer.
232
00:15:23,886 --> 00:15:25,855
He's obviously just fine.
233
00:15:25,888 --> 00:15:30,860
Listen, he's humming, what
sick man hums in the shower?
234
00:15:30,893 --> 00:15:33,328
Ow. Hey, ow, Jesus,
235
00:15:33,362 --> 00:15:35,732
honey did you turn
the water heater up?
236
00:15:35,765 --> 00:15:37,834
Wow this water is crazy hot.
237
00:15:37,867 --> 00:15:40,402
No dear, you okay?
238
00:15:40,435 --> 00:15:42,872
Yeah, I'll be fine.
239
00:15:42,905 --> 00:15:46,876
Uh, a little early for
that don't you think?
240
00:15:46,909 --> 00:15:49,211
You know, you
better double bag that,
241
00:15:49,244 --> 00:15:53,615
you don't want the
neighbor's dog getting after it.
242
00:15:59,621 --> 00:16:02,324
So he got a little hungry.
243
00:16:02,357 --> 00:16:04,526
(sigh sound)
Yeah,
244
00:16:04,559 --> 00:16:06,695
finger licking good.
245
00:16:06,729 --> 00:16:09,564
Funny.
246
00:16:14,670 --> 00:16:18,908
Okay, so it wasn't a dream,
that guy really did attack me.
247
00:16:18,941 --> 00:16:22,912
Shelly stop look, this
is what happened okay?
248
00:16:22,945 --> 00:16:26,615
Some ass wipe busts into
your house and jumps you
249
00:16:26,648 --> 00:16:29,451
alright, the blood, Bill
ripping the guys brains out
250
00:16:29,484 --> 00:16:30,853
and eating them, (sobbing sound)
251
00:16:30,887 --> 00:16:33,422
No, stop, that never happened.
252
00:16:33,455 --> 00:16:35,892
Look, okay,
253
00:16:35,925 --> 00:16:40,662
Bill despite being a
lazy ass, jumped the guy.
254
00:16:40,697 --> 00:16:44,701
Ok. Cuts his hand off, and
then you know just used it
255
00:16:44,734 --> 00:16:45,702
as a chew toy.
256
00:16:45,735 --> 00:16:46,803
Oh god.
257
00:16:46,836 --> 00:16:49,237
Okay but the dream is
just your PTSD dealing with
258
00:16:49,271 --> 00:16:51,239
seeing all this shit alright?
259
00:16:51,273 --> 00:16:53,642
Now there's some
naked one handed weirdo
260
00:16:53,675 --> 00:16:54,643
running around town.
261
00:16:54,676 --> 00:16:57,947
Right, a naked one handed man.
262
00:16:57,980 --> 00:17:00,282
You can't explain this away.
263
00:17:00,315 --> 00:17:01,951
I don't know, what-(stuttering)
264
00:17:01,984 --> 00:17:04,954
Bill's subconscious
told him to eat it?
265
00:17:04,987 --> 00:17:06,288
What are you trying to say,
266
00:17:06,321 --> 00:17:09,491
you trying to say
Bill's a cannibal?
267
00:17:09,524 --> 00:17:12,661
(scary rock music)
268
00:17:19,601 --> 00:17:22,671
(thuds)
Die you piece of shit!
269
00:17:22,705 --> 00:17:24,974
It did happen, it did it did!
270
00:17:25,007 --> 00:17:28,477
I told you, Bill is a cannibal!
271
00:17:28,510 --> 00:17:32,982
No, Bill is not a cannibal...
272
00:17:33,015 --> 00:17:34,884
he's a zombie.
273
00:17:38,353 --> 00:17:41,356
Light.
274
00:17:41,791 --> 00:17:43,793
I am damn hungry though?
275
00:17:43,826 --> 00:17:46,863
Sweetie, we got any
meat, I feel like meat.
276
00:17:46,896 --> 00:17:48,998
Ever have a craving for meat?
277
00:17:49,031 --> 00:17:51,500
Man I could eat a moose.
278
00:17:53,836 --> 00:17:57,672
Beer, yes.
279
00:18:04,412 --> 00:18:09,351
Ah, hot, hot
it burns, these are spicy.
280
00:18:09,384 --> 00:18:11,453
I think they've gone bad.
281
00:18:13,923 --> 00:18:16,491
Oh god beer's gone
bad too, yuck.
282
00:18:17,526 --> 00:18:21,396
Ah, maybe just some meat.
283
00:18:26,668 --> 00:18:28,670
Yeah.
284
00:18:30,773 --> 00:18:34,010
SHELLY: Bill, that
is raw sausage.
285
00:18:42,852 --> 00:18:45,121
Okay now that's gross.
286
00:18:45,154 --> 00:18:47,422
Why don't you go
put some clothes on
287
00:18:47,455 --> 00:18:51,459
and we can figure
out what to do, okay?
288
00:18:52,394 --> 00:18:54,462
CARRIE: That is disgusting,
you need to get him
289
00:18:54,496 --> 00:18:55,664
to a doctor.
290
00:18:55,698 --> 00:18:59,467
Or one of those guys in the
white Hazmat anthrax suits.
291
00:18:59,501 --> 00:19:03,538
I can hear you Carrie,
I am standing right here.
292
00:19:03,572 --> 00:19:05,842
♪ Plucky music ♪
293
00:19:05,875 --> 00:19:08,610
I'm fine, I'm just gonna
turn on the history channel
294
00:19:08,643 --> 00:19:10,612
and watch the Nazis lose again.
295
00:19:10,645 --> 00:19:11,714
(rustling plastic sound )
296
00:19:11,747 --> 00:19:13,816
(sharp impact sound)
297
00:19:15,550 --> 00:19:17,086
According to the
science channel,
298
00:19:17,119 --> 00:19:19,621
nerves can stay alive for days.
299
00:19:19,654 --> 00:19:21,757
Shelly, I think he was bit okay?
300
00:19:21,791 --> 00:19:23,960
That means he's
infected as well.
301
00:19:23,993 --> 00:19:27,462
A cannibalism virus,
that's SciFi channel,
302
00:19:27,495 --> 00:19:29,497
or Fox news.
303
00:19:30,132 --> 00:19:31,868
What, what are you gonna say?
304
00:19:31,901 --> 00:19:33,736
We've got this murderous hand
305
00:19:33,769 --> 00:19:35,938
we're just shoving
into the disposal?
306
00:19:35,972 --> 00:19:38,875
Well then what do we do,
we should call someone?
307
00:19:38,908 --> 00:19:40,575
No.
308
00:19:40,609 --> 00:19:42,812
(grinding and
cracking sound effect)
309
00:19:42,845 --> 00:19:46,816
You called me, okay,
that's as far as this goes.
310
00:19:46,849 --> 00:19:51,620
What are you gonna do,
call the police, yeah right?
311
00:19:51,653 --> 00:19:53,655
I don't know Carrie.
312
00:19:56,491 --> 00:19:57,960
Hey!
313
00:19:57,994 --> 00:20:00,997
We quit together, remember?
314
00:20:04,033 --> 00:20:06,035
Tummy.
315
00:20:09,705 --> 00:20:13,709
(crunches and
grinding sound effect)
316
00:20:20,482 --> 00:20:25,453
Okay, that's it, done, no
evidence, no nothing alright?
317
00:20:25,487 --> 00:20:26,521
Uh huh.
Deal?
318
00:20:26,554 --> 00:20:27,957
Uh huh.
319
00:20:29,725 --> 00:20:31,827
Valium's still in the bathroom?
320
00:20:31,861 --> 00:20:33,863
Upper cabinet left.
321
00:20:39,035 --> 00:20:41,737
♪ Scary dramatic music ♪
322
00:20:41,771 --> 00:20:43,839
(violent grinding sound effect)
323
00:20:48,210 --> 00:20:50,578
TV: The mission was
a complete success
324
00:20:50,612 --> 00:20:54,183
thus ensuring the
destruction of the Nazi rail gun
325
00:20:54,216 --> 00:20:57,186
and the threat to
England and it's allies.
326
00:20:57,219 --> 00:21:00,089
Join us next week as we
explore how the Allies
327
00:21:00,122 --> 00:21:04,760
broke the enigma code and
how a single spy named Garbo
328
00:21:04,794 --> 00:21:09,799
deceived the entire Third Reich
on the beaches of Normandy.
329
00:21:24,579 --> 00:21:26,983
♪ Upbeat Pink Panther type music ♪
330
00:21:28,250 --> 00:21:30,552
Hey, what happens next?
331
00:21:30,585 --> 00:21:32,587
We're out of raw
meat and Jimmy Deans.
332
00:21:32,620 --> 00:21:35,623
I'm fine, just tired is all.
333
00:21:36,258 --> 00:21:37,860
I know what I am.
334
00:21:37,893 --> 00:21:40,730
We are all animals deep
down and last night,
335
00:21:40,763 --> 00:21:43,232
when our lives were on
the line I went primal.
336
00:21:43,265 --> 00:21:46,902
Just total
caveman, that's it, yeah,
337
00:21:46,936 --> 00:21:49,238
it's the true caveman diet.
338
00:21:49,271 --> 00:21:51,841
Yeah, is that uh, is
that National Geographic,
339
00:21:51,874 --> 00:21:54,010
or was that like
Discovery Channel diet?
340
00:21:54,043 --> 00:21:57,313
I'm serious, someone
was attacking my woman.
341
00:21:57,346 --> 00:22:01,183
My woman, so I
took them out, bam.
342
00:22:01,217 --> 00:22:03,953
Yeah, more like chomp
chomp, where's the ketchup.
343
00:22:03,986 --> 00:22:05,254
It's not funny.
344
00:22:05,287 --> 00:22:09,591
It's okay, go ahead and
laugh, I know who I am.
345
00:22:09,624 --> 00:22:11,961
No one touches my baby.
346
00:22:12,995 --> 00:22:14,662
No one.
347
00:22:14,697 --> 00:22:16,699
You're really cold.
348
00:22:19,835 --> 00:22:22,872
CARRIE: Jesus, you're
sticky and clammy too.
349
00:22:22,905 --> 00:22:26,008
No, stop it, you guys
are the ones that are hot.
350
00:22:26,042 --> 00:22:29,078
Your hands are scalding. What?
351
00:22:29,111 --> 00:22:32,181
Just stay there, I'm
getting the thermometer.
352
00:22:35,317 --> 00:22:37,119
Well.
353
00:22:37,153 --> 00:22:38,686
CARRIE: Whoa,
whoa, take it easy tiger.
354
00:22:38,721 --> 00:22:40,723
I'm fine.
355
00:22:51,033 --> 00:22:54,036
Aren't you doctor mommy?
356
00:22:55,004 --> 00:22:56,939
I think it's broken
357
00:22:56,972 --> 00:22:59,975
Here let me...
Let me see. You try.
358
00:23:02,344 --> 00:23:04,880
(stuttering)
I don't.
359
00:23:07,116 --> 00:23:08,250
(heart beats)
360
00:23:08,284 --> 00:23:09,952
We're going to the ER right now.
361
00:23:09,985 --> 00:23:11,854
(glass shattering sound)
Poison!
362
00:23:11,887 --> 00:23:14,156
Spit it out, spit it out!
363
00:23:18,427 --> 00:23:20,763
Ah! Hot, hot, it burns.
364
00:23:20,796 --> 00:23:23,332
Carrie go get the
ipecac, it's on the top shelf
365
00:23:23,365 --> 00:23:24,333
next to the Valium.
366
00:23:24,366 --> 00:23:25,367
Got it.
367
00:23:28,003 --> 00:23:30,172
Don't swallow, just rinse.
368
00:23:30,906 --> 00:23:32,341
(gurgling)
Oh, honey!
369
00:23:32,374 --> 00:23:34,944
Oh god, too hot, too
hot, what was that?
370
00:23:34,977 --> 00:23:36,212
Jesus Shelly, no more water.
371
00:23:36,245 --> 00:23:38,747
It's straight from the tap.
372
00:23:38,781 --> 00:23:40,816
See it's just fine.
373
00:23:43,152 --> 00:23:45,154
Ah Jesus.
374
00:23:48,090 --> 00:23:50,092
Ah... That's better.
375
00:23:51,393 --> 00:23:52,895
Shelly I couldn't find it.
376
00:23:52,928 --> 00:23:55,931
It's in the, uh...
Fine you watch him.
377
00:23:57,399 --> 00:24:00,402
(slipping heavy thud sounds)
378
00:24:01,937 --> 00:24:06,342
(sniff sound effect )
♪ ominous organ music ♪
379
00:24:13,282 --> 00:24:15,951
(low growl sounds)
380
00:24:16,752 --> 00:24:19,321
Carrie, guys I'll
be right there.
381
00:24:25,127 --> 00:24:26,896
(screams)
Bill!
382
00:24:26,929 --> 00:24:30,833
No, no eating Carrie,
oh my god, oh god.
383
00:24:30,866 --> 00:24:33,869
No, bad, did you do this?
384
00:24:34,136 --> 00:24:35,938
No, no she fell.
385
00:24:35,971 --> 00:24:38,007
I swear I don't know
what came over me,
386
00:24:38,040 --> 00:24:39,475
I'm just so damn hungry.
387
00:24:39,508 --> 00:24:41,410
She was lying there
bleeding and I just...
388
00:24:41,443 --> 00:24:43,445
(sharp impact sound)
389
00:24:45,981 --> 00:24:47,149
(phone rings)
390
00:24:47,183 --> 00:24:48,417
(grunts)
(cracks)
391
00:24:48,450 --> 00:24:49,752
Hello? OPERATOR: Hello.
392
00:24:49,785 --> 00:24:51,020
Hello.
393
00:24:51,053 --> 00:24:52,831
OPERATOR: This is a courtesy
call from your gas company.
394
00:24:52,855 --> 00:24:56,258
Without further payment,
your service at one, one, four
395
00:24:56,292 --> 00:24:57,826
south Milo street will be...
396
00:24:57,860 --> 00:24:58,961
SHELLY:
That sucks.
397
00:24:58,994 --> 00:25:00,796
Carrie, easy.
398
00:25:00,829 --> 00:25:02,298
You were going to eat my brains.
399
00:25:02,331 --> 00:25:06,735
No I was a little out of my
mind, I was just so hungry.
400
00:25:08,204 --> 00:25:10,206
(knocking on door)
401
00:25:14,910 --> 00:25:16,979
You expecting someone?
402
00:25:17,012 --> 00:25:21,984
No, Shelly, tell
them we're eating.
403
00:25:22,017 --> 00:25:23,419
Okay.
404
00:25:25,454 --> 00:25:27,923
(knocking on door continues)
405
00:25:27,957 --> 00:25:32,928
I know you're home guys,
come on, I have a key remember.
406
00:25:33,395 --> 00:25:36,398
Don't make me call the sheriff.
407
00:25:39,168 --> 00:25:41,170
Just pay the rent.
408
00:25:44,840 --> 00:25:47,109
I'm sorry, I'm indisposed.
409
00:25:47,142 --> 00:25:50,479
Don't make me call the
sheriff, just pay the rent.
410
00:25:50,512 --> 00:25:53,882
Any part of the rent.
You're three months back.
411
00:25:53,916 --> 00:25:55,484
You were trying to
break into our home.
412
00:25:55,517 --> 00:25:57,920
No, well yes.
413
00:25:57,953 --> 00:26:00,789
The lease says I
can for just cause.
414
00:26:00,823 --> 00:26:03,492
So just let me in Ms. Sampler.
415
00:26:04,526 --> 00:26:07,029
Guys, go hide, I'll handle this.
416
00:26:07,062 --> 00:26:09,832
But we don't have the money.
417
00:26:09,865 --> 00:26:11,333
Don't look at me.
418
00:26:11,367 --> 00:26:13,102
Carrie, wipe your nose.
419
00:26:13,135 --> 00:26:15,838
And Bill, your ear is leaking.
420
00:26:16,538 --> 00:26:17,506
(knocking on door)
421
00:26:17,539 --> 00:26:20,542
You guys, go, go, go, go go!
422
00:26:25,414 --> 00:26:26,382
(knocking continues)
423
00:26:26,415 --> 00:26:29,218
MR SCOURGE: Alright,
I'm calling the sheriff.
424
00:26:29,251 --> 00:26:31,520
I'm sorry for the
delay Mr. Scourge,
425
00:26:31,553 --> 00:26:34,256
I had to get presentable.
426
00:26:37,559 --> 00:26:40,863
I know we owe
you a little money.
427
00:26:40,896 --> 00:26:44,133
Yuck, what are you doing?
428
00:26:44,933 --> 00:26:46,835
Who said you could paint?
429
00:26:46,869 --> 00:26:49,471
There goes the security deposit.
430
00:26:53,575 --> 00:26:58,013
What we have here Ms.
Sampler is an impasse
431
00:26:58,047 --> 00:27:01,083
that can only be resolved
with the payment of money.
432
00:27:01,116 --> 00:27:04,086
You're coming in here to
steal something weren't you?
433
00:27:04,119 --> 00:27:06,555
You're not a nice man.
434
00:27:06,588 --> 00:27:09,058
I'm not the thief here.
435
00:27:10,025 --> 00:27:13,629
I pay my bills, it's time for
you to pay your rent or else.
436
00:27:13,662 --> 00:27:16,899
On Friday you're gonna
be four months behind.
437
00:27:16,932 --> 00:27:17,966
N-No, Uh...
438
00:27:19,601 --> 00:27:23,005
Y-you said three months
a-and we don't have it Marvin.
439
00:27:23,038 --> 00:27:24,173
May I call you Marvin?
440
00:27:24,206 --> 00:27:27,076
No, no you may
not call me Marvin.
441
00:27:28,677 --> 00:27:32,481
Fine, fine, maybe
we can make a deal.
442
00:27:33,048 --> 00:27:38,053
Do you have any gold, jewelry,
maybe an expensive watch?
443
00:27:41,056 --> 00:27:42,958
Where's your husband?
444
00:27:42,991 --> 00:27:47,596
No he's out on business
all day, making money.
445
00:27:47,629 --> 00:27:51,433
Oh yeah, you know
a little makeup - you could be
446
00:27:54,036 --> 00:27:56,939
a very pretty woman,
you know you got this little
447
00:27:56,972 --> 00:27:59,141
naughty librarian
thing going on.
448
00:27:59,174 --> 00:28:01,677
I find it very intriguing.
449
00:28:01,711 --> 00:28:04,680
Uh... Okay you need to go now.
450
00:28:04,714 --> 00:28:07,282
Like you said,
I'm not a nice man.
451
00:28:07,316 --> 00:28:09,485
And I'm not leaving
'til I get something.
452
00:28:09,518 --> 00:28:11,620
I'll write you a
check, post dated.
453
00:28:11,653 --> 00:28:14,089
No, I'd rather collect now.
454
00:28:15,257 --> 00:28:19,495
Whoa, looky here.
455
00:28:19,528 --> 00:28:21,630
Why would you hold out on me?
456
00:28:21,663 --> 00:28:23,465
That's not-uh.
457
00:28:23,499 --> 00:28:26,034
There's enough money
here to cover your rent.
458
00:28:26,068 --> 00:28:29,438
So we just have to deal with
the late penalty charges,
459
00:28:29,471 --> 00:28:31,473
we can barter for those.
460
00:28:32,674 --> 00:28:36,011
No, hey, hey, get-get off of me.
461
00:28:36,044 --> 00:28:38,013
Nobody touches my wife.
462
00:28:38,046 --> 00:28:42,017
(biting and screaming sounds)
463
00:28:52,561 --> 00:28:55,330
Honey, honey-
you just ate a guy.
464
00:28:56,498 --> 00:28:58,367
Close your eyes baby,
465
00:28:58,400 --> 00:29:02,337
that much meat would
make anybody sleepy.
466
00:29:02,371 --> 00:29:04,106
(burping sound effect)
467
00:29:04,139 --> 00:29:07,142
Always liked Italian.
468
00:29:10,412 --> 00:29:12,314
(gagging sound effect)
469
00:29:15,250 --> 00:29:19,154
Your husband just ate
a man in like 10 seconds.
470
00:29:19,188 --> 00:29:21,724
He is impressive,
sanitize when you're done,
471
00:29:21,758 --> 00:29:23,492
that's a food prep area.
472
00:29:23,525 --> 00:29:28,330
I deserve a cut of that,
this is gonna scar me for life.
473
00:29:28,363 --> 00:29:30,466
There's mouthwash
under the sink.
474
00:29:30,499 --> 00:29:34,336
Six hundred, 20, 40,
you might want to floss.
475
00:30:04,500 --> 00:30:09,071
♪ Tense music ♪
(footsteps)
476
00:30:13,242 --> 00:30:14,409
(scary sound effect)
477
00:30:14,443 --> 00:30:17,112
I shoved both
bags to the bottom.
478
00:30:17,145 --> 00:30:18,647
Dumpster was full.
479
00:30:20,282 --> 00:30:22,451
I feel filthy.
480
00:30:25,788 --> 00:30:27,422
I think we need to face facts.
481
00:30:27,456 --> 00:30:28,457
Yeah.
482
00:30:29,792 --> 00:30:31,126
We need to call the cops.
483
00:30:31,159 --> 00:30:33,161
Bill is a zombie.
484
00:30:33,796 --> 00:30:35,631
Carrie what do I do?
485
00:30:35,664 --> 00:30:38,367
We tie him up and we get help.
486
00:30:38,400 --> 00:30:40,102
He's the love of my life.
487
00:30:40,135 --> 00:30:41,103
He's sick.
488
00:30:41,136 --> 00:30:42,504
He protected me.
489
00:30:42,538 --> 00:30:44,339
Shelly he eats people,
490
00:30:44,373 --> 00:30:47,509
like-like... really fast
and licks his fingers.
491
00:30:47,543 --> 00:30:50,412
And the rent is taken
care of maybe forever.
492
00:30:50,445 --> 00:30:52,648
He ate the landlord
before he went to the bank,
493
00:30:52,681 --> 00:30:54,483
I don't think that counts.
494
00:30:54,516 --> 00:30:57,486
Good point, I'll make
a deposit in the morning.
495
00:30:57,519 --> 00:31:01,256
Shelly you... you are
married to the living dead.
496
00:31:01,290 --> 00:31:05,427
He's a zombie or a cannibal,
either way this is wrong.
497
00:31:05,460 --> 00:31:07,797
And you're the zombie expert.
498
00:31:07,830 --> 00:31:10,165
What are we gonna
do when he attacks us?
499
00:31:10,198 --> 00:31:12,802
That is impossible,
Bill would never touch me.
500
00:31:12,835 --> 00:31:15,137
We have been together
since the seventh grade.
501
00:31:15,170 --> 00:31:19,274
Okay, this is gonna
be really hard for you
502
00:31:19,308 --> 00:31:21,677
but we have to drive a
stake through his heart.
503
00:31:21,711 --> 00:31:23,713
That's vampires!
504
00:31:24,279 --> 00:31:28,250
Okay, then we gotta crush
him in a printing press,
505
00:31:28,283 --> 00:31:29,685
or chop off his
head, I don't know.
506
00:31:29,719 --> 00:31:34,089
Ew and that's robots,
and I will not kill Bill.
507
00:31:35,290 --> 00:31:38,293
Put the mace down.
508
00:31:41,163 --> 00:31:44,199
Do you think the Rolex is real?
509
00:31:44,232 --> 00:31:46,368
No.
Hmm.
510
00:31:46,401 --> 00:31:49,171
Okay there could be more
zombies coming right now.
511
00:31:49,204 --> 00:31:52,374
I mean this-this could be
like a whole zombie invasion.
512
00:31:52,407 --> 00:31:55,845
No those diamonds are real.
513
00:31:55,878 --> 00:31:59,548
Well whatever the case,
Bill is our protector.
514
00:31:59,581 --> 00:32:01,183
He is my zombie bodyguard.
515
00:32:01,216 --> 00:32:03,151
Yeah, until he's hungry again.
516
00:32:03,185 --> 00:32:04,854
Okay I'm telling
you this right now,
517
00:32:04,887 --> 00:32:06,856
I'm not going to be
someone's last supper.
518
00:32:06,889 --> 00:32:09,859
Carrie, I married him
for better or for worse,
519
00:32:09,892 --> 00:32:12,394
that means
whether he has the flu
520
00:32:12,427 --> 00:32:16,733
or the hunger or
something gross like that skin
521
00:32:16,766 --> 00:32:18,300
rotting off disease.
522
00:32:18,333 --> 00:32:19,601
Ebola?
523
00:32:20,268 --> 00:32:22,872
My husband is in
there, and when he wakes,
524
00:32:22,905 --> 00:32:27,910
♪ mysterious music ♪
he's gonna want to eat.
525
00:32:34,249 --> 00:32:36,251
I'll be right back.
526
00:32:47,462 --> 00:32:49,431
♪ Upbeat dance music ♪
527
00:32:49,464 --> 00:32:51,233
JACK:
Alright, there you go.
528
00:32:51,266 --> 00:32:54,837
Thank you Jack, you
guys are a lifesaver,
529
00:32:54,871 --> 00:32:56,338
seriously though.
530
00:32:56,371 --> 00:32:58,373
JACK:
No problem.
531
00:33:06,481 --> 00:33:07,817
(groan followed by a splat)
532
00:33:08,885 --> 00:33:12,320
TEX: May I help
you with your meat?
533
00:33:12,354 --> 00:33:14,322
'Scuse me?
534
00:33:14,356 --> 00:33:15,858
Don't often see a milf like you
535
00:33:15,892 --> 00:33:18,393
on a Sunday buying so much meat.
536
00:33:18,427 --> 00:33:22,464
A what? Who even says
that? I'm not even a...
537
00:33:22,497 --> 00:33:24,599
None of your damn business.
538
00:33:24,633 --> 00:33:28,403
I find a few gray
hairs on a woman sexy.
539
00:33:28,437 --> 00:33:29,772
Really?
540
00:33:30,672 --> 00:33:35,011
Think you could satisfy
a deep animal hunger,
541
00:33:35,044 --> 00:33:39,247
or are you just a
flabby hunk of meat?
542
00:33:40,348 --> 00:33:42,018
Are you some kind of freak?
543
00:33:42,051 --> 00:33:44,252
What no, I...
544
00:33:46,288 --> 00:33:47,589
Yes.
545
00:33:47,990 --> 00:33:49,591
Yes I am.
546
00:33:50,292 --> 00:33:54,296
And I need to
feed a deep hunger.
547
00:33:57,700 --> 00:34:01,536
♪ Upbeat suspense music ♪
548
00:34:10,880 --> 00:34:12,882
Bill?
549
00:34:14,050 --> 00:34:16,284
Bill?
550
00:34:19,021 --> 00:34:22,290
Oh hey, Tex, take it easy there.
551
00:34:22,324 --> 00:34:24,026
I'm gonna go freshen up.
552
00:34:24,060 --> 00:34:25,928
I see your husband isn't home.
553
00:34:25,962 --> 00:34:31,033
My husband, how
did you know I was, oh.
554
00:34:31,067 --> 00:34:33,002
Or maybe he is home,
and likes to watch?
555
00:34:33,035 --> 00:34:36,671
I'm a modern guy, we can
even take turns if you like.
556
00:34:36,706 --> 00:34:38,540
Look this is a big mistake.
557
00:34:38,573 --> 00:34:40,442
Oh no mistake.
558
00:34:40,475 --> 00:34:42,410
♪ Scary, dramatic music ♪
559
00:34:42,444 --> 00:34:44,781
Yeah, mistake.
560
00:34:45,081 --> 00:34:49,451
(crunches)
(screams)
561
00:35:01,097 --> 00:35:05,433
Bill, honey when you're
done, put the clothes and stuff
562
00:35:05,467 --> 00:35:08,805
on the table, and can you
please fold it this time?
563
00:35:08,838 --> 00:35:11,841
Oh, and I bought you these!
564
00:35:16,378 --> 00:35:17,713
Who's is that?
565
00:35:17,747 --> 00:35:18,714
Nobody's!
566
00:35:18,748 --> 00:35:20,515
Oh Jesus, not another one.
567
00:35:20,549 --> 00:35:22,051
There's nothing to worry about.
568
00:35:22,084 --> 00:35:24,053
Oh there's
something to worry about.
569
00:35:24,086 --> 00:35:25,054
(Gasp sound)
570
00:35:25,087 --> 00:35:27,723
Freak bit me when I fell down.
571
00:35:27,757 --> 00:35:30,126
Bill, you bit another woman!
572
00:35:30,159 --> 00:35:35,363
Come on sweetheart, I... oh
wow that is pretty deep.
573
00:35:36,398 --> 00:35:38,801
It wasn't me,
sweetie it wasn't my fault.
574
00:35:38,835 --> 00:35:40,502
(thuds)
575
00:35:41,704 --> 00:35:45,875
♪ Mysterious serene music with
body crunches in background ♪
576
00:35:55,617 --> 00:35:58,620
(whack... thud)
577
00:36:05,127 --> 00:36:08,396
(crunch sounds)
578
00:36:13,602 --> 00:36:15,705
Great, now
Carrie's the living dead.
579
00:36:15,738 --> 00:36:19,742
God damn it Bill, she
was my best friend.
580
00:36:19,775 --> 00:36:24,747
Honey, honey, it
was a nothing bite.
581
00:36:24,780 --> 00:36:27,750
She's not my type,
come on pumpkin.
582
00:36:27,783 --> 00:36:30,652
SHELLY: Anyone else
that you've bitten and forgot
583
00:36:30,685 --> 00:36:31,854
to tell me about?
584
00:36:31,888 --> 00:36:35,490
I've only been a
zombie since last night.
585
00:36:36,792 --> 00:36:38,928
What it's a good cut.
586
00:36:38,961 --> 00:36:41,563
(ominous ambience)
587
00:36:47,703 --> 00:36:50,139
What is it, what do you
guys have some sort of
588
00:36:50,172 --> 00:36:51,506
dog hearing now?
589
00:36:51,539 --> 00:36:53,642
Yeah.
590
00:36:53,675 --> 00:36:56,444
It's like a weird...
591
00:36:56,478 --> 00:36:59,148
They're calling us.
592
00:36:59,181 --> 00:37:02,151
Who's calling, I
don't hear anything.
593
00:37:02,184 --> 00:37:04,887
The zombies.
594
00:37:04,921 --> 00:37:06,588
They're calling out.
595
00:37:07,555 --> 00:37:10,793
Lock the doors, we've
got company coming.
596
00:37:11,559 --> 00:37:14,063
(faint growls can be
heard in distance)
597
00:37:20,069 --> 00:37:25,074
(faint police siren sounds)
598
00:37:31,714 --> 00:37:33,883
So what do we do now?
599
00:37:33,916 --> 00:37:37,186
We sit quietly and
hope they move on.
600
00:37:37,219 --> 00:37:38,620
I smell at least 10.
601
00:37:38,653 --> 00:37:39,654
At least.
602
00:37:39,688 --> 00:37:41,556
You can smell them too?
603
00:37:41,589 --> 00:37:44,526
It's a cross
between smell and hear.
604
00:37:44,559 --> 00:37:47,562
Yeah one bite and
you can smell too.
605
00:37:47,595 --> 00:37:49,098
I'm good.
606
00:37:49,131 --> 00:37:51,901
Ah, way... way too hot sweetie.
607
00:37:53,035 --> 00:37:55,104
I'm getting sleepy.
608
00:37:55,137 --> 00:37:57,139
Well, you ate all
the food she bought,
609
00:37:57,173 --> 00:37:58,640
you should be in a meat coma.
610
00:37:58,673 --> 00:37:59,842
You ate all the steaks.
611
00:37:59,875 --> 00:38:01,978
I was hungry.
612
00:38:02,011 --> 00:38:03,846
Call Larry's.
613
00:38:03,879 --> 00:38:04,914
Meat pizzas?
614
00:38:04,947 --> 00:38:06,916
Meat pizza delivery men.
615
00:38:06,949 --> 00:38:10,585
No, and besides, Larry's
only uses delivery girls.
616
00:38:10,618 --> 00:38:12,687
This whole eating
other women thing
617
00:38:12,722 --> 00:38:14,957
is really making
me uncomfortable.
618
00:38:14,991 --> 00:38:16,759
You want me to eat men?
619
00:38:16,792 --> 00:38:17,960
Hm.
620
00:38:19,795 --> 00:38:21,964
Wait, where are you going?
621
00:38:23,265 --> 00:38:26,268
My husband and my
best friend are hungry.
622
00:38:26,302 --> 00:38:28,270
Call Charlie.
623
00:38:28,304 --> 00:38:31,741
No, you are not
eating my brother.
624
00:38:31,774 --> 00:38:34,910
No, he could help
us, he's into all that
625
00:38:34,944 --> 00:38:38,114
government cover up,
UFO conspiracy crap,
626
00:38:38,147 --> 00:38:40,116
maybe he knows
something about this.
627
00:38:40,149 --> 00:38:43,152
About zombie
cannibalism conspiracy.
628
00:38:43,185 --> 00:38:46,188
We're not zombies,
this is something else.
629
00:38:46,222 --> 00:38:50,826
He's right, Zombies are
mindless flesh eating zombies,
630
00:38:51,160 --> 00:38:54,296
but you guys aren't mindless.
631
00:38:54,330 --> 00:38:56,298
Except when we eat.
632
00:38:56,332 --> 00:38:59,101
My brother will know what to do.
633
00:39:01,303 --> 00:39:05,241
Charlie, Shelly, yeah,
listen I need you to get,
634
00:39:05,274 --> 00:39:07,843
get down here asap,
yes it's an emergency.
635
00:39:07,877 --> 00:39:11,814
And I need you to bring meat.
Uh... bring 20 steaks no, no, no
636
00:39:11,847 --> 00:39:14,817
40.40 steaks
big ones, yes, yes.
637
00:39:14,850 --> 00:39:16,318
And it's an
emergency, chop, chop,
638
00:39:16,352 --> 00:39:19,755
I need you to get down here.
I have cash, yes, yes.
639
00:39:19,789 --> 00:39:23,159
No it's not a
party, it's serious.
640
00:39:23,192 --> 00:39:25,327
Oh, you guys eat brains right?
641
00:39:25,361 --> 00:39:27,562
Bring some calf brains.
642
00:39:28,397 --> 00:39:31,167
Shoot, he hung up.
643
00:39:32,201 --> 00:39:35,237
Okay, I am going to
go powder my nose
644
00:39:35,271 --> 00:39:37,940
and you guys guard the house.
645
00:39:38,673 --> 00:39:41,043
Put the couch back, I
am not living this way
646
00:39:41,077 --> 00:39:44,080
zombies or no zombies.
647
00:39:56,691 --> 00:39:59,195
♪ Tense music ♪
648
00:40:05,367 --> 00:40:09,038
I will not live
this paranoid life.
649
00:40:09,071 --> 00:40:10,806
Everything has to stay normal.
650
00:40:10,840 --> 00:40:12,341
You think you have it bad?
651
00:40:12,374 --> 00:40:16,412
My body's so cold I could
chill a beer with my tits.
652
00:40:16,445 --> 00:40:18,646
If I had any.
653
00:40:19,348 --> 00:40:22,318
What we need is a
doctor or a specialist
654
00:40:22,351 --> 00:40:25,387
or one of those guys from
the government, the CDC.
655
00:40:25,421 --> 00:40:29,291
Yeah. Yeah, I've been
vegan for five years
656
00:40:29,325 --> 00:40:31,327
and I just ate a calf.
657
00:40:32,328 --> 00:40:35,030
It's like this uncontrollable.
658
00:40:37,466 --> 00:40:39,435
Charlie better get here soon.
659
00:40:39,468 --> 00:40:41,270
Okay guys I'm
gonna say it again,
660
00:40:41,303 --> 00:40:45,141
I think that we should go
to the ER and just risk it.
661
00:40:45,174 --> 00:40:49,245
Yeah we got to the ER,
we're unnoticed, we have cash,
662
00:40:49,278 --> 00:40:51,247
we'll have a snack.
663
00:40:51,280 --> 00:40:52,715
What?
664
00:40:52,748 --> 00:40:54,416
We'll only eat the dead ones.
665
00:40:54,450 --> 00:40:57,386
When I was eating
that guy, I felt strong.
666
00:40:57,419 --> 00:40:58,354
The hunger makes you feel like
667
00:40:58,387 --> 00:41:02,690
you're all steroids
and power, unstoppable.
668
00:41:02,725 --> 00:41:05,261
Yeah, Charlie
better get here soon.
669
00:41:05,294 --> 00:41:09,298
Fine what we need
is a distraction.
670
00:41:09,331 --> 00:41:11,967
Oh, I know what.
671
00:41:12,735 --> 00:41:15,237
(faint clock tick sound
fills the room)
672
00:41:26,448 --> 00:41:27,917
(laughs)
673
00:41:27,950 --> 00:41:30,953
I won again!
674
00:41:36,158 --> 00:41:38,160
Is that actually
working for you?
675
00:41:38,194 --> 00:41:41,030
Oh, It's meat-ish parts.
676
00:41:41,063 --> 00:41:42,998
(doorbell ring sound)
Charlie!
677
00:41:43,032 --> 00:41:45,034
I told you he'd make it.
678
00:41:51,040 --> 00:41:52,808
Hello, I'd like to
tell you about something
679
00:41:52,841 --> 00:41:54,476
that could change your...
680
00:41:57,012 --> 00:42:00,082
Dear, it's men, salesmen.
681
00:42:00,115 --> 00:42:03,152
Mormons, should I
invite them for dinner?
682
00:42:03,185 --> 00:42:05,988
Mormons, very clean.
683
00:42:06,021 --> 00:42:08,023
Organic.
684
00:42:09,491 --> 00:42:12,895
Hey, sorry, sorry I'm late.
685
00:42:12,928 --> 00:42:14,997
I, uh, I got
everything you asked for.
686
00:42:15,030 --> 00:42:18,167
Sorry fellas we'll have
you for dinner another time.
687
00:42:18,200 --> 00:42:20,035
So hopefully
this will be enough.
688
00:42:20,069 --> 00:42:23,072
Whoa, what the hell?
689
00:42:26,242 --> 00:42:28,510
How much do I owe you?
690
00:42:28,544 --> 00:42:32,047
250 plus gas and what the fuck?
691
00:42:38,554 --> 00:42:43,525
290 actually with taxes
an-and mileage, 300 is easier.
692
00:42:43,559 --> 00:42:46,161
300 is easier.
693
00:42:51,467 --> 00:42:54,470
Or 350 if you include
snacks and whatnot,
694
00:42:54,503 --> 00:42:57,039
definitely had snacks.
695
00:42:57,072 --> 00:42:59,508
And then Carrie
started eating raw meat,
696
00:42:59,541 --> 00:43:01,877
and that was it.
697
00:43:01,910 --> 00:43:05,147
Now you tell me this is a
curable African heart of
698
00:43:05,180 --> 00:43:09,852
darkness amazon river zombie
infection virus thing right?
699
00:43:12,187 --> 00:43:16,925
Well they're not eating the
styrofoam so it's not Pika.
700
00:43:16,959 --> 00:43:20,129
It was very smart of you to
call me first, not the cops.
701
00:43:20,162 --> 00:43:23,899
I mean this is the hallmark
of the agency all over it.
702
00:43:23,932 --> 00:43:25,567
Then you know what this is?
703
00:43:25,601 --> 00:43:30,272
Probably, yeah, my
sources hear things.
704
00:43:30,306 --> 00:43:31,607
Some outbreaks here and there,
705
00:43:31,640 --> 00:43:34,243
a couple of CDC coverups
in Seattle and Chicago.
706
00:43:34,276 --> 00:43:35,978
This isn't swine flu.
707
00:43:36,011 --> 00:43:37,880
Or that that Stica.
708
00:43:37,913 --> 00:43:41,216
Zika, no, this is
night of the living dead
709
00:43:41,250 --> 00:43:44,153
That is to say, private sector,
that is to say, the government
710
00:43:44,186 --> 00:43:45,554
covering up it's ass.
711
00:43:45,587 --> 00:43:48,123
Come on Charlie.
712
00:43:48,157 --> 00:43:52,061
This is what I do, alright,
I am a geek for this shit.
713
00:43:52,094 --> 00:43:57,099
The geek, and now you two and
my sister, this is so cool.
714
00:43:58,467 --> 00:44:00,369
We might need to
cut their heads off.
715
00:44:00,402 --> 00:44:02,071
No!
What?
716
00:44:03,038 --> 00:44:07,309
Honey, put the
plastic in the recycling.
717
00:44:07,343 --> 00:44:09,178
You can't recycle styrofoam.
718
00:44:09,211 --> 00:44:10,145
Yes you can.
719
00:44:10,179 --> 00:44:12,948
No you can't, Shell
but it doesn't matter,
720
00:44:12,981 --> 00:44:14,583
I feel like we have
two options here.
721
00:44:14,616 --> 00:44:17,586
Either we blow this
thing wide open or we run.
722
00:44:17,619 --> 00:44:19,988
Now what happened
to the infect or?
723
00:44:20,022 --> 00:44:20,923
The what?
724
00:44:20,956 --> 00:44:22,558
The infect or, the
originator, the prime,
725
00:44:22,591 --> 00:44:24,593
the one that bit Bill.
726
00:44:24,626 --> 00:44:25,594
We uh.
727
00:44:25,627 --> 00:44:29,531
We disposed of it.
728
00:44:29,565 --> 00:44:32,368
Okay, do you have
anything left, a finger?
729
00:44:32,401 --> 00:44:34,570
Not so much.
730
00:44:35,371 --> 00:44:38,073
Fine, how long between feedings?
731
00:44:38,107 --> 00:44:41,143
I don't know, they
ate before I called you
732
00:44:41,176 --> 00:44:43,345
but they seem to be
getting hungrier now,
733
00:44:43,379 --> 00:44:45,381
faster for sure.
734
00:44:46,281 --> 00:44:48,650
Okay, you come with me.
735
00:44:51,286 --> 00:44:53,622
There's some kind
of an antidote,
736
00:44:53,655 --> 00:44:56,392
or an anti virus thing right?
737
00:44:56,425 --> 00:44:59,962
Okay, um no, we need
to cut their heads off
738
00:44:59,995 --> 00:45:00,963
before the next feeding.
739
00:45:00,996 --> 00:45:04,566
My husband and my best
friend are in that room,
740
00:45:04,600 --> 00:45:07,336
no head cutting off.
741
00:45:07,369 --> 00:45:09,138
There has to be something else.
742
00:45:09,171 --> 00:45:11,507
Okay, okay, okay, I'm
gonna go back to my place,
743
00:45:11,540 --> 00:45:14,143
get some supplies and
some notes, my research.
744
00:45:14,176 --> 00:45:16,145
I'm taking Carrie with me.
745
00:45:16,178 --> 00:45:17,946
Why?
746
00:45:17,980 --> 00:45:20,382
Zombie bodyguard to
fight against Zombies,
747
00:45:20,416 --> 00:45:21,517
and men in black.
748
00:45:21,550 --> 00:45:24,253
We gotta fight fire with fire.
749
00:45:24,286 --> 00:45:27,589
I mean we don't know who
else is infected out there.
750
00:45:27,623 --> 00:45:29,191
Carrie, you're coming with me.
751
00:45:29,224 --> 00:45:33,262
Sis, lock up behind us,
and if Bill gets hungry.
752
00:45:33,295 --> 00:45:34,396
No!
753
00:45:34,430 --> 00:45:36,733
Then you need to find an
overnight butcher that delivers.
754
00:45:36,766 --> 00:45:37,933
Let's go.
755
00:45:37,966 --> 00:45:40,737
Carrie, no eating Charlie,
he's our only hope right now.
756
00:45:40,770 --> 00:45:43,405
I'm so tired, why am
I going with the geek?
757
00:45:43,439 --> 00:45:46,442
You're the muscle.
758
00:45:51,213 --> 00:45:56,218
♪ Ominous music ♪
(sniffing sound effect)
759
00:46:11,333 --> 00:46:15,337
They're out there,
not moving, still.
760
00:46:19,541 --> 00:46:23,345
Sweetie, you have any, want
me to make you something?
761
00:46:23,378 --> 00:46:26,215
Not much of an appetite, thanks.
762
00:46:42,765 --> 00:46:46,201
I don't hear anything Bill.
763
00:46:46,235 --> 00:46:48,270
It's like they're sleeping,
764
00:46:48,303 --> 00:46:49,638
quiet.
765
00:46:50,807 --> 00:46:53,242
Right, the sleeping dead.
766
00:46:55,511 --> 00:46:58,380
We are gonna get
through this together.
767
00:46:58,413 --> 00:47:01,283
Charlie, he's going to figure
this out, he's has a lot of...
768
00:47:01,316 --> 00:47:02,417
He's an idiot.
769
00:47:02,451 --> 00:47:06,555
He's gonna come back, no,
only Carrie's coming back.
770
00:47:07,456 --> 00:47:10,359
Bill, we are not gonna
fall into negativity.
771
00:47:10,392 --> 00:47:13,228
This is hard
enough without those,
772
00:47:14,162 --> 00:47:18,033
I am not gonna fall...
(sobbing sound effect)
773
00:47:24,807 --> 00:47:26,809
We are going to be alright.
774
00:47:27,777 --> 00:47:28,845
We can do this.
775
00:47:28,878 --> 00:47:31,513
Yes, Charlie's gonna come back.
776
00:47:31,547 --> 00:47:34,650
We will get through
this, we will work it out.
777
00:47:34,683 --> 00:47:37,386
I'm sure he's got a geek
buddy that knows a guy,
778
00:47:37,419 --> 00:47:40,322
that knows a guy.
(sobbing sound effect)
779
00:47:40,355 --> 00:47:43,592
All we have to do
is love each other.
780
00:47:46,228 --> 00:47:48,865
Ow, shit you're so hot.
781
00:47:48,898 --> 00:47:50,733
You're so cold.
782
00:47:50,767 --> 00:47:54,771
Maybe.
♪ Emotional music ♪
783
00:47:54,804 --> 00:47:59,474
I know, yeah, kinky right?
784
00:47:59,508 --> 00:48:00,576
The glove is fine.
785
00:48:00,609 --> 00:48:02,244
Just being careful.
See?
786
00:48:02,277 --> 00:48:04,279
Yeah.
787
00:48:07,349 --> 00:48:11,520
We may not have another
moment like this, alone I mean.
788
00:48:14,891 --> 00:48:19,328
I love you so much.
(belly grumbling sound)
789
00:48:19,361 --> 00:48:22,197
I guess I am hungry.
790
00:48:22,865 --> 00:48:26,201
We can order in, you don't
want to cook in this kitchen
791
00:48:26,234 --> 00:48:29,237
anyway, we'll call Larry's.
792
00:48:29,939 --> 00:48:32,709
Sure, but...
793
00:48:32,742 --> 00:48:36,478
this is not gonna be
our last night together.
794
00:48:44,419 --> 00:48:46,421
Ah, a little hot.
795
00:48:47,689 --> 00:48:51,326
It's just the nose,
yeah that's better.
796
00:48:51,360 --> 00:48:54,864
♪ Upbeat mysterious music ♪
797
00:49:15,852 --> 00:49:20,422
Ah, you're a reader, derivative.
798
00:49:20,455 --> 00:49:22,959
What, you read Isaacs?
799
00:49:22,992 --> 00:49:27,629
It's nothing original.
What? A girl can't read?
800
00:49:27,663 --> 00:49:29,899
No I just never
pegged you as uh...
801
00:49:29,932 --> 00:49:31,500
A reader?
802
00:49:32,534 --> 00:49:35,872
Don't pretend to know
me conspiracy boy.
803
00:49:37,305 --> 00:49:39,374
You mind if I look around?
804
00:49:39,408 --> 00:49:43,278
Sure, mi casa es su casa.
(my house is your house)
805
00:49:43,311 --> 00:49:45,347
Have any snacks?
806
00:49:46,648 --> 00:49:48,985
So what exactly
are we looking for?
807
00:49:49,018 --> 00:49:52,254
I have notes on a
program called Y38,
808
00:49:52,287 --> 00:49:54,556
it's a subprogram of MK Ultra.
809
00:49:54,589 --> 00:49:58,226
I'm a zombie because the
CIA used LSD on hippies
810
00:49:58,260 --> 00:49:59,361
40 years ago.
811
00:49:59,394 --> 00:50:01,496
Not at all, it's
a sister program.
812
00:50:01,530 --> 00:50:02,775
♪ Scary music ♪
(growling sound effect)
813
00:50:02,799 --> 00:50:06,936
Okay, I have all beef
hot dogs in the fridge.
814
00:50:06,969 --> 00:50:09,972
(she growls)
815
00:50:15,978 --> 00:50:19,448
Okay, continue
with your weird ideas.
816
00:50:19,481 --> 00:50:23,786
Okay, so not for sure but
this has to do with spores.
817
00:50:23,820 --> 00:50:26,989
See in the spring especially
after a long hot winter,
818
00:50:27,023 --> 00:50:30,492
thank you global warming,
proceeded by extreme fire
819
00:50:30,525 --> 00:50:33,730
seasons, we get this kind
of an event, see, that we're
820
00:50:33,763 --> 00:50:34,897
in right here.
821
00:50:34,931 --> 00:50:36,498
What full moons or sun spots?
822
00:50:36,531 --> 00:50:37,834
Exactly, that's the key.
823
00:50:37,867 --> 00:50:39,501
Sunspots?
Yeah, so we get these
824
00:50:39,534 --> 00:50:41,971
dust storms off the Sahara
that go across the Atlantic,
825
00:50:42,004 --> 00:50:44,272
ergo higher hurricane seasons.
826
00:50:44,306 --> 00:50:45,951
Well that would be great,
it would clear it out.
827
00:50:45,975 --> 00:50:48,845
Right, but that didn't
happen so here we are.
828
00:50:48,878 --> 00:50:50,645
In your apartment.
829
00:50:50,679 --> 00:50:55,383
No, Sutters Mill, spring
of '91, the Waco coverups.
830
00:50:55,417 --> 00:50:57,586
Waco was a bunch
of religious nuts.
831
00:50:57,619 --> 00:50:59,922
Air France plane
landing in Brazil.
832
00:50:59,956 --> 00:51:02,457
Everything destroyed,
nothing recovered.
833
00:51:02,491 --> 00:51:05,293
Why, because they
were already dead.
834
00:51:05,327 --> 00:51:06,996
This goes way back.
835
00:51:07,029 --> 00:51:10,066
Bombay, India '42
there's a huge outbreak
836
00:51:10,099 --> 00:51:11,566
then flooding covers thousands,
837
00:51:11,600 --> 00:51:13,301
that is how the
spores get spread.
838
00:51:13,335 --> 00:51:16,605
But one infected survives,
he stows away to Europe,
839
00:51:16,638 --> 00:51:19,608
German scientists capture
him then after World War II,
840
00:51:19,641 --> 00:51:22,310
we get the scientists,
then we make our own lab
841
00:51:22,344 --> 00:51:24,981
and bingo, it's simple stuff.
842
00:51:25,014 --> 00:51:27,049
Hey that's my survival.
843
00:51:27,083 --> 00:51:28,517
(growling sound effect)
844
00:51:28,550 --> 00:51:31,553
Yeah it is,
never mind, you enjoy.
845
00:51:32,989 --> 00:51:36,691
Uhm, so with your case it
probably started with that lab
846
00:51:36,726 --> 00:51:39,561
in Ames, they have
really lousy security,
847
00:51:39,594 --> 00:51:41,030
everybody knows that.
848
00:51:41,063 --> 00:51:43,632
You come prepared, impressive.
849
00:51:43,665 --> 00:51:45,001
Boy scout.
850
00:51:45,034 --> 00:51:47,870
Girl scout, special ops, Marine.
851
00:51:49,604 --> 00:51:53,009
Semper Fi, alright that
means that you get to carry
852
00:51:54,676 --> 00:51:56,678
the heavy one.
853
00:51:57,780 --> 00:52:01,616
Right, zombie marine, that's
really, oh, I actually have
854
00:52:01,650 --> 00:52:03,853
to get something hold on.
855
00:52:08,825 --> 00:52:11,861
Hey, so I figure
we ditch Burbank,
856
00:52:12,829 --> 00:52:15,064
and then we can
just take the five
857
00:52:15,097 --> 00:52:17,066
♪ ominous music ♪
up towards Sacramento.
858
00:52:17,099 --> 00:52:19,869
There should be plenty of
places for you to feed up there.
859
00:52:19,902 --> 00:52:22,872
Then once we take
it on that way.
860
00:52:22,905 --> 00:52:25,808
And the zombie ex-marine
is staring at me.
861
00:52:25,842 --> 00:52:29,045
Explain, now.
862
00:52:29,078 --> 00:52:31,113
Okay, that's not
literal, like obviously
863
00:52:31,147 --> 00:52:35,151
that's not literal, this is,
just, okay so hypothetically
864
00:52:35,184 --> 00:52:38,420
yes, but honestly that's more
for like mummy living dead
865
00:52:38,453 --> 00:52:40,022
than it is like
zombie living dead.
866
00:52:40,056 --> 00:52:42,424
Like clearly I didn't,
that's not for you.
867
00:52:42,457 --> 00:52:46,628
I would never do that to
you, you're too beautiful.
868
00:52:51,934 --> 00:52:53,936
Let's get back.
869
00:52:53,970 --> 00:52:56,105
Good, good plan. You know...
870
00:52:56,138 --> 00:52:58,440
Hey, we can stop by a
butcher along the way
871
00:52:58,473 --> 00:53:01,110
and just get you a
snack or whatever.
872
00:53:04,013 --> 00:53:05,181
Honey?
873
00:53:05,214 --> 00:53:06,681
SHELLY:
Yes?
874
00:53:07,515 --> 00:53:09,517
Sweetie.
875
00:53:11,220 --> 00:53:13,421
What dear?
876
00:53:13,923 --> 00:53:15,758
We need to talk.
877
00:53:15,791 --> 00:53:17,860
I'm right here dear.
878
00:53:17,894 --> 00:53:20,763
BILL:
I think we need to.
879
00:53:20,796 --> 00:53:21,898
What dear?
880
00:53:21,931 --> 00:53:24,066
We need to.
881
00:53:24,100 --> 00:53:26,568
We need to what?
882
00:53:26,601 --> 00:53:31,606
We need to get a plan,
like a really good plan.
883
00:53:31,974 --> 00:53:35,677
First of all, I will
not have you going around
884
00:53:35,711 --> 00:53:38,080
eating people all willy nilly.
885
00:53:38,114 --> 00:53:41,784
Besides being gross, we can
get into a lot of trouble.
886
00:53:41,817 --> 00:53:44,220
This is all new
territory for me.
887
00:53:44,253 --> 00:53:48,157
There's gotta be better
ways to attack your hunger.
888
00:53:48,190 --> 00:53:50,760
What we need is
appetite control.
889
00:53:50,793 --> 00:53:52,795
It's an animal thing.
890
00:53:53,896 --> 00:53:56,766
♪ Upbeat music ♪
891
00:53:56,799 --> 00:53:59,936
Roar. Roar.
892
00:54:01,003 --> 00:54:04,673
Uh, I'm not sure now
is the best time to.
893
00:54:04,707 --> 00:54:08,878
Mm hmm, look at that, seems
like nature has other plans.
894
00:54:11,881 --> 00:54:15,985
(clapping sound effect)
(giggling sound effect ensues)
895
00:54:16,018 --> 00:54:18,020
No biting.
896
00:54:20,990 --> 00:54:22,992
Seriously.
897
00:54:23,993 --> 00:54:25,995
I'm gonna bite you.
898
00:54:27,730 --> 00:54:30,032
♪ Shots of my fire water ♪
899
00:54:30,066 --> 00:54:34,170
♪ In the morning with
my perfect hangover ♪
900
00:54:34,203 --> 00:54:37,139
One, two, three,
four, five pizzas.
901
00:54:37,173 --> 00:54:38,774
Salami.
902
00:54:38,808 --> 00:54:41,676
Oh, just the one had cheese huh?
903
00:54:41,711 --> 00:54:45,214
Yes ma'am, don't get
much call for that.
904
00:54:47,249 --> 00:54:48,985
You throw interesting parties.
905
00:54:49,018 --> 00:54:52,254
It's an Andrew
Zimba bizarre parties.
906
00:54:53,189 --> 00:54:55,191
But ma'am you
forgot your change.
907
00:54:55,224 --> 00:54:56,792
Just keep it.
908
00:55:04,266 --> 00:55:06,869
(moaning sound effect)
909
00:55:11,073 --> 00:55:13,575
Good, good, brains,
want some brains?
910
00:55:13,608 --> 00:55:16,278
No thank you, you enjoy really.
911
00:55:16,779 --> 00:55:19,614
What is it Bill,
is it bad brains?
912
00:55:20,282 --> 00:55:22,051
Oh no, use this.
913
00:55:23,651 --> 00:55:26,554
It's the meat, it burns.
914
00:55:26,588 --> 00:55:28,924
Try some liver.
915
00:55:28,958 --> 00:55:33,963
No, no cow parts, I
need brains, human brains.
916
00:55:38,834 --> 00:55:42,838
No Bill, fight it,
damn it, hold on.
917
00:55:45,841 --> 00:55:47,119
I'm sorry, there was one more...
918
00:55:47,143 --> 00:55:49,812
♪ See the true color ♪
919
00:55:49,845 --> 00:55:53,282
♪ I don't think I can get enough ♪
920
00:55:53,315 --> 00:55:57,286
♪ You're my perfect hangover ♪
921
00:55:57,319 --> 00:56:01,857
Yeah, pizza girl, not a chance.
922
00:56:03,959 --> 00:56:06,628
♪ You're my perfect hangover ♪
923
00:56:06,661 --> 00:56:09,265
So Shelly, how was your weekend?
924
00:56:09,298 --> 00:56:13,668
Oh you know, same old same old,
had some friends for dinner
925
00:56:13,702 --> 00:56:15,905
at least my husband did.
926
00:56:15,938 --> 00:56:19,607
My husband, the man I
married, the love of my life,
927
00:56:19,641 --> 00:56:23,645
likes to eat human
brains, who knew (laughs).
928
00:56:32,321 --> 00:56:34,323
(rumbling sound effect)
929
00:56:37,726 --> 00:56:39,829
(knocking sound effect)
930
00:56:47,903 --> 00:56:51,340
Bill! Bill wake up
there's another one.
931
00:56:51,373 --> 00:56:53,342
CHARLIE:
Come on it's us!
932
00:56:53,375 --> 00:56:54,343
(knocking sound
effect continues)
933
00:56:54,376 --> 00:56:56,245
Shelly let us in.
934
00:56:57,980 --> 00:57:01,750
Hey sis, made it as
quick as we could.
935
00:57:01,784 --> 00:57:04,053
We don't have much time.
936
00:57:04,386 --> 00:57:06,055
But.
937
00:57:07,056 --> 00:57:08,791
Yeah we'll we're being watched.
938
00:57:08,824 --> 00:57:11,160
There's two guys in a
car across the street.
939
00:57:11,193 --> 00:57:13,429
Agency moves fast.
940
00:57:13,462 --> 00:57:16,165
We need to get her fed
as soon as possible and...
941
00:57:16,198 --> 00:57:18,367
Hey pizza.
942
00:57:18,400 --> 00:57:20,369
Ooh, brains and liver.
943
00:57:20,402 --> 00:57:22,972
CHARLIE: Wait did
Bill eat the pizza girl,
944
00:57:23,005 --> 00:57:23,906
she was cute.
945
00:57:23,939 --> 00:57:26,308
She was an orphan,
don't worry about it.
946
00:57:26,342 --> 00:57:28,878
They'll be back
and I'll be ready.
947
00:57:28,911 --> 00:57:32,915
Okay, machete
boy, put that away.
948
00:57:33,782 --> 00:57:37,786
You said agents, what agents?
949
00:57:39,221 --> 00:57:41,790
There's only three
types of people out there, now.
950
00:57:41,824 --> 00:57:46,829
One, the zombies, two, the
agents who hunt the zombies.
951
00:57:47,496 --> 00:57:49,031
And three?
952
00:57:49,431 --> 00:57:53,435
The food, us,
humanity, the food.
953
00:57:54,803 --> 00:57:56,805
Put that away.
954
00:57:59,175 --> 00:58:02,077
Fine, I'll do
Bill, you do Carrie.
955
00:58:02,111 --> 00:58:05,447
What, the salami wasn't
good enough for them?
956
00:58:05,481 --> 00:58:08,484
He tried, but all of
the meats made him sick.
957
00:58:08,517 --> 00:58:09,518
I see.
958
00:58:10,753 --> 00:58:13,455
Okay well then he's
advanced farther than I thought.
959
00:58:13,489 --> 00:58:16,025
See, the virus
mutates his whole system
960
00:58:16,058 --> 00:58:17,259
until he becomes full zombie.
961
00:58:17,293 --> 00:58:21,764
I thought, well, I hoped that
it would be a 72 hour cycle,
962
00:58:23,199 --> 00:58:25,801
but he's now progressed to
the point where he can't
963
00:58:25,834 --> 00:58:28,437
digest anything other
than human flesh.
964
00:58:28,470 --> 00:58:30,306
So we're in real trouble.
965
00:58:30,339 --> 00:58:34,410
♪ Intense music ♪
(choking sound effect)
966
00:58:44,520 --> 00:58:49,124
Ew, it's sausage casing.
Ugh...
967
00:58:49,158 --> 00:58:52,494
When they eat, they're
mindless, they're like sharks.
968
00:58:53,495 --> 00:58:54,997
I'm so tired.
969
00:58:55,030 --> 00:58:58,133
Charlie, take
her to the bedroom.
970
00:59:04,440 --> 00:59:06,108
(knocking sound effect)
971
00:59:06,141 --> 00:59:08,510
What is it the girl scouts now?
972
00:59:08,544 --> 00:59:10,012
(knocking sound effect)
973
00:59:10,045 --> 00:59:12,047
PICK:
Shelly?
974
00:59:12,514 --> 00:59:15,317
We can to this the hard
way that's up to you.
975
00:59:15,351 --> 00:59:19,888
We know about the
landlord, I have a warrant.
976
00:59:19,922 --> 00:59:21,924
Where are you,
where's the warrant?
977
00:59:24,059 --> 00:59:25,494
This isn't a warrant.
978
00:59:25,527 --> 00:59:27,763
Read, all of it.
979
00:59:28,130 --> 00:59:31,100
What kind of FBI agents
dress like Mormons.
980
00:59:31,133 --> 00:59:33,135
Where's your bible?
981
00:59:33,168 --> 00:59:34,436
Well come in then.
982
00:59:34,470 --> 00:59:37,072
So, where's your husband?
983
00:59:37,940 --> 00:59:39,942
Ah ha.
984
00:59:42,578 --> 00:59:45,581
He sure is a sound sleeper.
985
00:59:45,614 --> 00:59:47,583
This says that you have
presidential authority...
986
00:59:47,616 --> 00:59:52,254
To acquire, restrain
and detain with prejudice.
987
00:59:52,288 --> 00:59:54,456
Deny nothing, we
know everything.
988
00:59:54,490 --> 00:59:56,859
We know about the
dead delivery girl too.
989
00:59:56,892 --> 00:59:57,860
What a waste.
990
00:59:57,893 --> 00:59:59,862
Look this is about
survival, you want to live
991
00:59:59,895 --> 01:00:01,196
you'll do exactly as I say.
992
01:00:01,230 --> 01:00:04,233
No, no, no she'll do
nothing of the sort.
993
01:00:04,266 --> 01:00:05,434
I know who you are.
994
01:00:05,467 --> 01:00:08,037
And look, you even match,
that's so cute isn't it Shell?
995
01:00:08,070 --> 01:00:10,939
Hm, and we know you,
Charles Benjamin Ford.
996
01:00:10,973 --> 01:00:14,043
College dropout,
conspiracy blogger,
997
01:00:14,076 --> 01:00:16,278
fired by Best Buy for
using store computers
998
01:00:16,312 --> 01:00:17,546
to hack the NSA.
999
01:00:17,579 --> 01:00:19,548
Is that where you
got the big screen TV?
1000
01:00:19,581 --> 01:00:21,317
Not the time Shell,
super not the time.
1001
01:00:21,350 --> 01:00:22,618
A lie is a lie Mr. Ford.
1002
01:00:22,651 --> 01:00:25,554
Look I expose agents
like you online every day.
1003
01:00:25,587 --> 01:00:27,556
Alright so what's the
lame name of your crappy
1004
01:00:27,589 --> 01:00:28,624
black ops operation.
1005
01:00:28,657 --> 01:00:29,892
I think he said FBI.
1006
01:00:29,925 --> 01:00:31,260
I don't think he said anything.
1007
01:00:31,293 --> 01:00:33,495
We didn't say FBI.
1008
01:00:34,063 --> 01:00:37,299
Look, this right here,
this is straight off
1009
01:00:37,333 --> 01:00:39,568
an HP color printer, fake.
1010
01:00:39,601 --> 01:00:41,570
So who are you guys anyways.
1011
01:00:41,603 --> 01:00:43,105
Beat 'em.
1012
01:00:43,138 --> 01:00:44,606
(electrical zapping sound)
1013
01:00:44,640 --> 01:00:46,275
Which one you want
me to start with?
1014
01:00:46,308 --> 01:00:51,313
Start with the female.
1015
01:00:54,483 --> 01:00:57,653
Oh god what is
wrong with you guys?
1016
01:00:57,686 --> 01:01:00,289
Hm, must be that one.
1017
01:01:00,322 --> 01:01:02,591
(cracking sound effect)
1018
01:01:02,624 --> 01:01:04,593
Winner winner chicken dinner.
1019
01:01:04,626 --> 01:01:07,129
Come on zombie, there you
go, come on that's right.
1020
01:01:07,162 --> 01:01:09,164
Come to daddy.
1021
01:01:11,300 --> 01:01:12,301
Come on!
1022
01:01:12,334 --> 01:01:13,602
(thud and zap sound effect)
1023
01:01:13,635 --> 01:01:14,903
(groan sound)
1024
01:01:14,937 --> 01:01:16,038
What did you do to Charlie!
1025
01:01:16,071 --> 01:01:19,274
Oh come on, it's just a
few thousand patriotic volts.
1026
01:01:19,308 --> 01:01:20,275
He's gonna be fine.
1027
01:01:20,309 --> 01:01:21,677
Back off!
1028
01:01:21,711 --> 01:01:24,346
Hm, Stockholm syndrome.
1029
01:01:24,380 --> 01:01:25,347
(growling sound)
1030
01:01:25,381 --> 01:01:27,149
No Bill stop it!
1031
01:01:27,182 --> 01:01:29,051
(electric zap sound)
1032
01:01:29,084 --> 01:01:30,352
There you go.
1033
01:01:30,652 --> 01:01:31,987
(electric zapping continues)
1034
01:01:32,020 --> 01:01:33,088
Bill!
1035
01:01:33,122 --> 01:01:35,991
He's a zombie ma'am, what
am I gonna do, kill him?
1036
01:01:36,024 --> 01:01:37,226
He's already dead!
1037
01:01:37,259 --> 01:01:38,994
(sobbing sound)
1038
01:01:39,027 --> 01:01:41,630
You should thank us, it
was only a matter of time.
1039
01:01:41,663 --> 01:01:44,066
We're gonna take him
to some place safe.
1040
01:01:44,099 --> 01:01:45,702
Watch your hands.
1041
01:01:45,735 --> 01:01:48,170
No.
1042
01:01:48,203 --> 01:01:52,374
(thuds)
♪ upbeat music ♪
1043
01:01:53,375 --> 01:01:56,578
I'll cut your head off, bitch.
1044
01:01:56,612 --> 01:02:00,282
Carrie! Nobody calls
my friend a bitch.
1045
01:02:00,315 --> 01:02:02,217
(zap sound)
1046
01:02:03,652 --> 01:02:07,623
I hope you like barbecue!
1047
01:02:25,340 --> 01:02:27,710
They just don't carry
much cash around huh?
1048
01:02:27,744 --> 01:02:31,046
Yeah well, I feel like
moneys probably not an issue
1049
01:02:31,079 --> 01:02:34,550
now that you know, we, they
killed two federal agents.
1050
01:02:34,583 --> 01:02:36,418
What federal agents?
1051
01:02:36,452 --> 01:02:38,687
I don't know what
you're talking about.
1052
01:02:38,721 --> 01:02:42,224
You know, phones can
be traced on or off
1053
01:02:42,257 --> 01:02:44,092
as long as the
battery is still in.
1054
01:02:44,126 --> 01:02:45,527
Really, NSA.
1055
01:02:45,561 --> 01:02:48,564
Semper Fi who ha.
1056
01:02:51,266 --> 01:02:54,036
Blank cards, are they
credit card thieves?
1057
01:02:54,069 --> 01:02:55,237
I don't know.
1058
01:02:55,270 --> 01:02:58,040
Probably opens some unmarked
door in some unmarked office
1059
01:02:58,073 --> 01:03:01,043
in the basement of an
incredibly dangerous building.
1060
01:03:01,076 --> 01:03:03,445
I don't know, he
was a spook, a spy.
1061
01:03:03,479 --> 01:03:05,314
Was he some sort
of a Bourne dude?
1062
01:03:05,347 --> 01:03:07,784
You know this isn't
over yet, right?
1063
01:03:07,817 --> 01:03:10,720
Okay, well what do we do?
1064
01:03:10,753 --> 01:03:12,588
Well what do we know?
1065
01:03:12,621 --> 01:03:15,591
Well, they knew about
the whole zombie thing
1066
01:03:15,624 --> 01:03:16,726
before they got here.
1067
01:03:16,759 --> 01:03:19,729
Right, I mean Jesus, look
at their weapon of choice.
1068
01:03:19,762 --> 01:03:22,264
You know, Shell we probably
don't have all that much time
1069
01:03:22,297 --> 01:03:23,298
so I need you to think.
1070
01:03:23,332 --> 01:03:26,068
Have you seen anyone
who looks like those guys
1071
01:03:26,101 --> 01:03:27,813
around the neighborhood
over the last couple of days?
1072
01:03:27,837 --> 01:03:29,304
You mean Mormons?
1073
01:03:29,338 --> 01:03:31,340
Well.
1074
01:03:34,376 --> 01:03:35,812
I thought you were
done with those.
1075
01:03:35,845 --> 01:03:38,046
Just two.
1076
01:03:38,080 --> 01:03:39,615
And under the
present circumstances,
1077
01:03:39,648 --> 01:03:42,317
I think I have earned these.
1078
01:03:45,320 --> 01:03:47,689
Think I've earned it too.
1079
01:03:52,795 --> 01:03:55,664
(door rattling sound
and faint growls)
1080
01:03:55,697 --> 01:03:58,801
Apparently zombies have
a hard time with doorknobs.
1081
01:03:58,835 --> 01:04:01,637
Oh my god! Oh,
I know what this is!
1082
01:04:01,670 --> 01:04:04,439
They want an army of undead
killers that you can't kill!
1083
01:04:04,473 --> 01:04:06,809
All of the rumors are true.
1084
01:04:07,576 --> 01:04:10,145
Man that taser really
takes it out of you.
1085
01:04:10,178 --> 01:04:12,447
Oh, you must be starving dear.
1086
01:04:12,481 --> 01:04:15,450
Here let me get you that
brain the agents brought.
1087
01:04:15,484 --> 01:04:17,319
You want me to
heat that up for you.
1088
01:04:17,352 --> 01:04:21,056
♪ Upbeat mysterious music ♪
1089
01:04:27,229 --> 01:04:29,799
♪ plucky music ♪
1090
01:04:42,177 --> 01:04:44,613
I thought I heard somebody
at the back door earlier.
1091
01:04:44,646 --> 01:04:45,547
More agents?
1092
01:04:45,581 --> 01:04:49,651
No, zombie, agents
prefer the front door.
1093
01:04:50,720 --> 01:04:52,822
You're just gonna eat that.
1094
01:04:52,855 --> 01:04:55,357
Mm. I can share.
1095
01:04:55,390 --> 01:04:57,159
No, thank you.
1096
01:04:57,192 --> 01:04:58,660
I'll take some.
1097
01:04:58,694 --> 01:05:02,698
Oh, my little sleeping
beauty awakes. I got you.
1098
01:05:04,666 --> 01:05:07,837
You know you guys are so
cool for putting up with us.
1099
01:05:07,870 --> 01:05:10,372
I gotta say when I was lying
there, half electrocuted
1100
01:05:10,405 --> 01:05:12,742
to death on the ground
watching you devour that guy,
1101
01:05:12,775 --> 01:05:15,812
it was uh... pretty gross.
1102
01:05:15,845 --> 01:05:20,315
I thought you were
amazing and strong and fast
1103
01:05:20,349 --> 01:05:22,684
and oh my god please
get that out of my face,
1104
01:05:22,719 --> 01:05:24,721
that is a human brain.
1105
01:05:25,955 --> 01:05:28,156
(crashing sound)
1106
01:05:30,192 --> 01:05:32,194
Zombie, big one.
1107
01:05:32,929 --> 01:05:36,866
I just figured you could
eat it when you woke, dear.
1108
01:05:36,899 --> 01:05:38,433
Right.
1109
01:05:38,935 --> 01:05:41,136
(cracking bones sound)
I got this.
1110
01:05:41,938 --> 01:05:44,941
I'll tenderize him, you eat him?
1111
01:05:44,974 --> 01:05:49,712
Uhn-Uhn... You enjoy your
brains, we got this.
1112
01:05:49,746 --> 01:05:51,748
♪ Upbeat tense music ♪
1113
01:05:58,487 --> 01:06:00,622
That's my man.
1114
01:06:09,464 --> 01:06:12,401
Charlie, I gotta say, in
the past I always thought
1115
01:06:12,434 --> 01:06:13,402
you were kind of a...
1116
01:06:13,435 --> 01:06:15,872
Crazy person, like a nut job?
1117
01:06:15,905 --> 01:06:18,173
Yeah, let's go with that.
1118
01:06:20,943 --> 01:06:22,210
Guys?
1119
01:06:22,244 --> 01:06:24,312
(crashing sound)
1120
01:06:24,346 --> 01:06:26,481
Watch the potted plants please.
1121
01:06:26,515 --> 01:06:28,517
(thud sound)
1122
01:06:47,269 --> 01:06:50,973
Oh my god, that
was just incredible.
1123
01:06:51,007 --> 01:06:52,207
Nicely done.
1124
01:06:53,776 --> 01:06:57,312
That last one
tasted like chicken.
1125
01:06:57,345 --> 01:07:01,416
Guys, I have a plan.
1126
01:07:01,450 --> 01:07:03,285
Let's get Carrie.
1127
01:07:03,318 --> 01:07:06,321
Okay, we all know that
the buzz in the chat rooms
1128
01:07:06,354 --> 01:07:10,358
was aliens, then ISIS, then
NSA, but everybody was wrong,
1129
01:07:10,392 --> 01:07:11,961
it's you guys, it's zombies.
1130
01:07:11,994 --> 01:07:13,730
This was your cover story,
1131
01:07:13,763 --> 01:07:15,965
mad cow disease in
Wyoming last month.
1132
01:07:15,998 --> 01:07:17,767
One of you guys
must've gotten out.
1133
01:07:17,800 --> 01:07:20,002
Wyoming?
None of us have ever been
1134
01:07:20,036 --> 01:07:21,003
to Wyoming.
1135
01:07:21,037 --> 01:07:24,506
Look, I was a vegetarian
until Bill bit me, okay
1136
01:07:24,539 --> 01:07:28,376
I mean the occasional double
cheeseburger if I was drunk,
1137
01:07:28,410 --> 01:07:29,678
but... a vegetarian.
1138
01:07:29,712 --> 01:07:32,647
Okay, stay with me,
I mean that a zombie
1139
01:07:32,681 --> 01:07:36,318
got out or a lab tech
was bit or whatever okay?
1140
01:07:36,351 --> 01:07:37,987
But now it's spreading.
1141
01:07:38,020 --> 01:07:40,489
You were bit, and then you
bit her and then who knows
1142
01:07:40,522 --> 01:07:41,590
how many the original bit.
1143
01:07:41,623 --> 01:07:43,658
Okay whatever, what's the cure?
1144
01:07:43,692 --> 01:07:46,863
There is no cure for dead.
1145
01:07:46,896 --> 01:07:49,031
Then where are
you going with this?
1146
01:07:49,065 --> 01:07:51,466
You were right when you
said Bourne dudes earlier,
1147
01:07:51,500 --> 01:07:53,970
but imagine an army
of Zombie Bourne dudes.
1148
01:07:54,003 --> 01:07:57,874
Alright, no way, I'm gonna be
an undead killer for anyone.
1149
01:07:57,907 --> 01:07:59,976
Alright,
I already served my country.
1150
01:08:00,009 --> 01:08:03,012
I'm confused, I know
we're zombies when we eat but
1151
01:08:03,045 --> 01:08:04,914
now I feel normal.
1152
01:08:04,947 --> 01:08:08,683
Cold, and a lot
stronger, but normal.
1153
01:08:08,718 --> 01:08:11,419
My guess is that the designer
virus blends with your DNA,
1154
01:08:11,453 --> 01:08:15,423
but stay with me, a secret
army of undead troops
1155
01:08:15,457 --> 01:08:19,494
who can march into a firefight
and before CNN gets shot one,
1156
01:08:19,528 --> 01:08:22,664
Bam! They've killed
and eaten the enemy.
1157
01:08:22,697 --> 01:08:25,667
Then that's what we do.
1158
01:08:26,068 --> 01:08:28,503
♪ Upbeat rock music ♪
Bill you grab the plastic,
1159
01:08:28,537 --> 01:08:29,671
Charlie the duct tape,
1160
01:08:29,705 --> 01:08:33,375
Carrie, get dolled up we're
having guests for dinner.
1161
01:08:33,408 --> 01:08:35,477
(groaning sound effect
with each zombie)
1162
01:08:44,619 --> 01:08:48,623
This one looks
absolutely delicious.
1163
01:08:49,759 --> 01:08:51,660
The nerd is mine.
1164
01:08:52,895 --> 01:08:56,766
(fast whipping and
screaming sounds)
1165
01:08:56,799 --> 01:09:00,803
50, 150, 200.
1166
01:09:02,537 --> 01:09:04,707
(high pitched screaming sound)
1167
01:09:05,842 --> 01:09:08,610
Look at this cheap
bastard, one debit card
1168
01:09:08,643 --> 01:09:09,779
and a Subway coupon.
1169
01:09:09,812 --> 01:09:13,149
Oh, feel this
leather, oh wait? Uh-huh.
1170
01:09:13,182 --> 01:09:15,151
Uh-huh.
1171
01:09:15,184 --> 01:09:17,854
Oh. Bill you guys
almost done in there?
1172
01:09:17,887 --> 01:09:20,122
(crunching sound effect)
1173
01:09:21,690 --> 01:09:25,694
Oh god, I'm so tired, so full.
1174
01:09:26,494 --> 01:09:28,463
Take the bedroom,
you know the drill.
1175
01:09:28,496 --> 01:09:29,640
I want my 25 percent of that.
1176
01:09:29,664 --> 01:09:33,102
Yeah, yeah, I'm
tapping one of us.
1177
01:09:33,135 --> 01:09:35,537
I don't know about this plan.
1178
01:09:35,570 --> 01:09:37,073
How do we know
when we got them all?
1179
01:09:37,106 --> 01:09:38,040
Smell.
1180
01:09:38,074 --> 01:09:42,577
You said you can smell
them, so smell them.
1181
01:09:45,547 --> 01:09:46,514
Anything?
1182
01:09:46,548 --> 01:09:47,717
No.
1183
01:09:47,750 --> 01:09:50,652
Nothing, sorry.
1184
01:09:50,685 --> 01:09:52,687
(loud burp sound)
1185
01:09:53,923 --> 01:09:57,692
Yep, that was bad, sorry,
I'm gonna go brush.
1186
01:09:58,961 --> 01:10:01,097
You know the two
of you are heroes.
1187
01:10:01,130 --> 01:10:04,133
Saving the world from
a zombie apocalypse.
1188
01:10:04,166 --> 01:10:05,935
They might even do a
special on you guys
1189
01:10:05,968 --> 01:10:07,937
on one of your
History Channel shows.
1190
01:10:07,970 --> 01:10:11,606
Maybe we should film
this, make a documentary.
1191
01:10:11,640 --> 01:10:15,144
Post it online, no, it would
attract too much attention.
1192
01:10:15,177 --> 01:10:16,879
You already killed
two federal agents.
1193
01:10:16,913 --> 01:10:18,214
You mean ate.
1194
01:10:18,247 --> 01:10:21,217
(doorbell rings)
1195
01:10:21,250 --> 01:10:25,054
What do you think,
Mormons or zombies?
1196
01:10:25,087 --> 01:10:26,856
Jehovah's witnesses.
1197
01:10:26,889 --> 01:10:29,125
We're overdue.
1198
01:10:29,158 --> 01:10:31,160
I got it.
1199
01:10:32,661 --> 01:10:34,663
Be careful dear.
1200
01:10:36,732 --> 01:10:38,901
(grunt sound)
1201
01:10:38,935 --> 01:10:43,940
(zapping and tense
mysterious ambience)
1202
01:10:53,249 --> 01:10:58,453
(loud screaming
and groaning and zapping)
1203
01:11:01,057 --> 01:11:04,160
Whoa, you zapped the Jehovahs.
1204
01:11:05,027 --> 01:11:09,065
Oh no way guys I'm full,
Bill you gotta take these.
1205
01:11:10,232 --> 01:11:11,767
They're not even zombies.
1206
01:11:11,801 --> 01:11:14,569
No, ID says Homeland Security.
1207
01:11:21,243 --> 01:11:24,512
Would you look at this.
1208
01:11:26,248 --> 01:11:30,219
Mission authorized
capture prime Bill Sampler,
1209
01:11:30,252 --> 01:11:34,256
terminate remaining brood,
cut off heads as necessary.
1210
01:11:34,290 --> 01:11:36,859
Guys, they're just
gonna keep coming.
1211
01:11:36,892 --> 01:11:38,094
We have to run.
1212
01:11:38,127 --> 01:11:39,762
They're not taking me alive.
1213
01:11:39,795 --> 01:11:41,063
Or dead.
1214
01:11:41,629 --> 01:11:43,598
Why does it say
prime Bill Sampler?
1215
01:11:43,631 --> 01:11:46,202
I always knew you were special.
1216
01:11:47,336 --> 01:11:48,704
(grunting sound)
1217
01:11:48,738 --> 01:11:51,707
Start talking
agent double O lunch.
1218
01:11:51,741 --> 01:11:53,242
(electric zap sound)
1219
01:11:53,275 --> 01:11:55,144
Careful, you're next.
1220
01:11:56,746 --> 01:11:59,581
Excuse me, we haven't met
yet, I'm Shelly Sampler...
1221
01:11:59,614 --> 01:12:02,118
We know who you are and we
know he's the zombie prime.
1222
01:12:02,151 --> 01:12:03,953
Why do you keep calling
me the zombie prime?
1223
01:12:03,986 --> 01:12:05,254
Because you're the prime.
1224
01:12:05,287 --> 01:12:07,223
BILL: Prime what, prime suspect?
1225
01:12:07,256 --> 01:12:10,558
Agent Morse, serial
number 4196770.
1226
01:12:12,028 --> 01:12:15,131
We're not talking zombie,
you're getting nothing.
1227
01:12:15,164 --> 01:12:16,564
You will.
1228
01:12:16,598 --> 01:12:17,867
(groaning sound)
1229
01:12:17,900 --> 01:12:20,336
Let's go Carrie,
you earned desert tonight!
1230
01:12:20,369 --> 01:12:22,972
You zombie lovers make me
sick, I'm cutting all your
1231
01:12:23,005 --> 01:12:25,241
mother f'ing heads off.
1232
01:12:25,274 --> 01:12:26,308
Bon apetite Carrie.
1233
01:12:26,342 --> 01:12:28,277
Say nothing Baxter!
1234
01:12:28,310 --> 01:12:32,148
(faint screaming
and electric zaps can be heard)
1235
01:12:43,859 --> 01:12:45,795
I don't talk to zombie lovers.
1236
01:12:45,828 --> 01:12:48,330
You already are
now what's your name.
1237
01:12:48,364 --> 01:12:51,267
Enough, enough already.
1238
01:12:51,300 --> 01:12:55,337
Then talk already, relief
is just a squirt away.
1239
01:12:55,371 --> 01:12:59,275
What are you guys, some
kind of zombie lesbians?
1240
01:12:59,308 --> 01:13:01,811
She your zombie death partner?
1241
01:13:02,778 --> 01:13:04,113
I'm a meat eater.
1242
01:13:04,146 --> 01:13:05,781
(crunching sound and yelping)
1243
01:13:05,815 --> 01:13:09,617
Baxter, agent
Baxter 147 okay, okay.
1244
01:13:09,651 --> 01:13:13,621
I work for...
(crunching and howling)
1245
01:13:20,296 --> 01:13:21,730
(loud thud)
1246
01:13:21,764 --> 01:13:23,099
Next dear.
1247
01:13:32,775 --> 01:13:35,978
Alright, it's your turn to talk.
1248
01:13:36,011 --> 01:13:37,346
How'd this all start?
1249
01:13:37,379 --> 01:13:39,281
I'm not talking.
1250
01:13:39,315 --> 01:13:43,385
Fine, where shall I bite first.
1251
01:13:43,419 --> 01:13:45,387
(mumbling)
1252
01:13:49,158 --> 01:13:51,160
Alright.
1253
01:13:52,728 --> 01:13:55,231
It started when
Baxter fed him late,
1254
01:13:55,264 --> 01:13:57,967
the cell was open
and Norris got out.
1255
01:13:58,000 --> 01:13:59,135
(mumbling)
1256
01:13:59,168 --> 01:14:01,237
Norris who?
1257
01:14:01,270 --> 01:14:05,241
Edgar Norris, the prime,
well... the second prime zombie.
1258
01:14:05,274 --> 01:14:08,277
Youngstown, Ohio,
the banker you ate.
1259
01:14:08,310 --> 01:14:09,745
The zombie that bit me?
1260
01:14:09,778 --> 01:14:12,181
The prime's name was Edgar.
1261
01:14:12,214 --> 01:14:16,719
Yes well Betabrude's first
prime was lieutenant Sullivan,
1262
01:14:16,752 --> 01:14:19,922
but he escaped
and bit the banker.
1263
01:14:19,955 --> 01:14:21,891
And then you cut
off Sullivan's head.
1264
01:14:21,924 --> 01:14:25,394
Crushed in an industrial press.
1265
01:14:25,427 --> 01:14:27,997
Huh. Schwarzenegger fan.
1266
01:14:28,030 --> 01:14:30,366
(mumbling sound)
1267
01:14:30,399 --> 01:14:33,135
So now you're the prime.
1268
01:14:33,169 --> 01:14:36,839
The prime, the
boss, the big cheese.
1269
01:14:36,872 --> 01:14:40,209
You're the prime infect or.
1270
01:14:40,242 --> 01:14:42,278
Ketchup stains are so brutal.
1271
01:14:44,079 --> 01:14:46,815
They tortured
me. She grabbed my...
1272
01:14:46,849 --> 01:14:48,884
She was gonna eat my Johnson.
1273
01:14:48,918 --> 01:14:51,253
Baxter you sweat
like a little girl.
1274
01:14:51,287 --> 01:14:53,289
She grabbed my balls hard.
1275
01:14:53,322 --> 01:14:54,390
She got you to talk.
1276
01:14:54,423 --> 01:14:56,892
I thought you were hurt.
1277
01:14:56,926 --> 01:14:58,227
Oh yeah?
1278
01:14:58,260 --> 01:15:00,462
Oh no stop, oh just stop.
1279
01:15:01,430 --> 01:15:03,499
I'm taking you
back dead or alive.
1280
01:15:03,532 --> 01:15:06,435
Nobody kills my
brother-in-law, again.
1281
01:15:06,468 --> 01:15:09,872
(wind sound effect)
I saw we eat them now.
1282
01:15:09,905 --> 01:15:11,307
(growls)
1283
01:15:11,340 --> 01:15:13,075
Keep it together soldier.
1284
01:15:13,108 --> 01:15:16,378
Come on, Semper Fi!
1285
01:15:16,412 --> 01:15:18,147
Semper Fi.
1286
01:15:18,180 --> 01:15:20,716
Take them to the bathroom.
1287
01:15:27,556 --> 01:15:30,259
♪ Cheerful music ♪
1288
01:15:38,000 --> 01:15:40,836
Now be good or
breakfast will come sooner
1289
01:15:40,869 --> 01:15:42,037
than you think.
1290
01:15:42,071 --> 01:15:46,242
(scary sound effect)
1291
01:15:47,109 --> 01:15:49,378
It's ketchup!
1292
01:16:05,961 --> 01:16:08,797
You hear anything out there?
1293
01:16:11,000 --> 01:16:13,435
Good, then sleep my dear.
1294
01:16:14,536 --> 01:16:17,039
We're gonna have to kill them.
1295
01:16:17,072 --> 01:16:19,975
Maybe for the good of
everyone, I should surrender
1296
01:16:20,009 --> 01:16:22,177
and you guys can
get your lives back.
1297
01:16:22,211 --> 01:16:25,481
No, I will not let them
turn you into some sort of
1298
01:16:25,514 --> 01:16:28,550
a CIA Bourne of
the dead assassin.
1299
01:16:28,584 --> 01:16:30,519
Well then we're
gonna have to run.
1300
01:16:30,552 --> 01:16:34,156
I pay my taxes, this is my
house, I am not going anywhere.
1301
01:16:34,189 --> 01:16:36,525
Shelly, you're broke, you're
halfway towards eviction,
1302
01:16:36,558 --> 01:16:39,395
and this isn't going to
cover four people on the run.
1303
01:16:39,428 --> 01:16:44,433
What I mean is, that I am a US
citizen, and I, we have rights.
1304
01:16:44,633 --> 01:16:48,070
Are the dead
considered citizens?
1305
01:16:48,103 --> 01:16:51,006
Alright well then we're
gonna have to make a deal.
1306
01:16:51,040 --> 01:16:52,841
What kind of deal?
1307
01:16:52,875 --> 01:16:57,046
In any negotiation, you
wanna have bargaining power.
1308
01:17:01,583 --> 01:17:02,818
Huh.
1309
01:17:04,286 --> 01:17:08,223
Nobody knows we're here,
their feed cycles almost up.
1310
01:17:08,257 --> 01:17:09,325
We're lunch!
1311
01:17:09,358 --> 01:17:11,427
You are a useless wimp.
1312
01:17:11,460 --> 01:17:15,097
Oh my god, oh a little girl
squeezed my tiny little penis.
1313
01:17:15,130 --> 01:17:16,975
You have no idea how
strong that female zombie was.
1314
01:17:16,999 --> 01:17:19,268
You are a useless, you're
a pinko, commie sissy.
1315
01:17:19,301 --> 01:17:21,570
We need to talk to
them and negotiate.
1316
01:17:21,603 --> 01:17:23,272
You know they seem kind of nice.
1317
01:17:23,305 --> 01:17:25,441
What are you, you don't
negotiate with a zombie,
1318
01:17:25,474 --> 01:17:27,009
you cut their
mother f'ing heads off.
1319
01:17:27,042 --> 01:17:28,911
How is that gonna help us now?
1320
01:17:28,944 --> 01:17:30,979
Who's side are you on?
1321
01:17:31,013 --> 01:17:34,016
I've got to get word
back to headquarters.
1322
01:17:34,049 --> 01:17:36,552
Alright, here's
the plan soldier.
1323
01:17:36,585 --> 01:17:38,187
What?
(mysterious ambience)
1324
01:17:38,220 --> 01:17:41,423
We let them eat you
first, flail a lot, scream,
1325
01:17:41,457 --> 01:17:42,424
distract them...
1326
01:17:42,458 --> 01:17:43,425
Why do I have to...
1327
01:17:43,459 --> 01:17:45,527
My molar is a transponder.
1328
01:17:46,695 --> 01:17:47,797
Zombies can't digest teeth.
1329
01:17:47,831 --> 01:17:51,033
Worst case scenario they
track it back to the zombie
1330
01:17:51,066 --> 01:17:52,267
scat pile.
1331
01:17:52,301 --> 01:17:56,004
Best case scenario I find some
metal and tap out a message
1332
01:17:56,038 --> 01:17:58,040
back to base.
1333
01:17:59,508 --> 01:18:00,576
Where are your keys?
1334
01:18:00,609 --> 01:18:02,644
Oh, in my pocket.
1335
01:18:09,585 --> 01:18:11,286
Okay.
1336
01:18:11,320 --> 01:18:12,621
You're insane.
1337
01:18:12,654 --> 01:18:15,023
Do you want to turn
out to be a zombie?
1338
01:18:15,057 --> 01:18:17,059
All right.
1339
01:18:17,626 --> 01:18:20,562
Hold still
soldier, I'm going in.
1340
01:18:24,066 --> 01:18:26,568
(keys jingle sound)
1341
01:18:28,404 --> 01:18:30,205
(door creaking sound)
1342
01:18:30,239 --> 01:18:35,310
SHELLY: I leave you
alone for five minutes, kinky.
1343
01:18:35,344 --> 01:18:37,946
Hey guys, that's a no no.
1344
01:18:38,981 --> 01:18:40,082
Now, we need to talk.
1345
01:18:40,115 --> 01:18:42,719
In five minutes, this place
is crawling with agents.
1346
01:18:42,752 --> 01:18:46,955
You're dead, your
family's dead, your...
1347
01:18:46,989 --> 01:18:49,691
You are a very angry lady.
1348
01:18:50,526 --> 01:18:52,661
Take the nice one to the den.
1349
01:18:52,694 --> 01:18:56,165
I'm junk food,
she's the tasty one.
1350
01:18:56,198 --> 01:18:59,067
CARRIE:
Come on lover boy.
1351
01:19:00,469 --> 01:19:04,707
SHELLY: Okay secret
agent man, you wanna live?
1352
01:19:04,741 --> 01:19:06,375
Here's how it's gonna end.
1353
01:19:06,408 --> 01:19:09,545
I am tired, hungry, and
everyone else has eaten
1354
01:19:09,578 --> 01:19:11,580
except for me.
1355
01:19:12,147 --> 01:19:16,753
Now, I want my life back,
and you're gonna help me.
1356
01:19:16,786 --> 01:19:20,589
Now, we know who you are,
we know what you are.
1357
01:19:20,622 --> 01:19:22,458
Shelly, I'm not
so sure about this.
1358
01:19:22,491 --> 01:19:26,228
Let's just say the government
does need an agent prime?
1359
01:19:26,261 --> 01:19:29,732
Fine, who am I to argue
with homeland security?
1360
01:19:29,766 --> 01:19:34,102
We are just patriotic
citizens, ready to negotiate.
1361
01:19:34,136 --> 01:19:36,138
The agency doesn't negotiate.
1362
01:19:36,171 --> 01:19:38,173
Okay then.
1363
01:19:38,808 --> 01:19:41,577
Carrie, you do
the honors, enjoy.
1364
01:19:41,610 --> 01:19:44,714
(crunching sound effect)
No, no I'll talk, I'll talk.
1365
01:19:44,747 --> 01:19:46,749
We want off the grid.
1366
01:19:46,783 --> 01:19:50,486
New social security numbers,
new identities, fresh start.
1367
01:19:50,519 --> 01:19:52,221
And no taxes.
1368
01:19:52,254 --> 01:19:54,590
He has a point, paying
taxes when you're dead
1369
01:19:54,623 --> 01:19:55,624
isn't quite fair.
1370
01:19:55,657 --> 01:19:56,860
We're not the IRS.
1371
01:19:56,893 --> 01:20:01,129
And as long as Bill is dead,
you will supply him with food
1372
01:20:01,163 --> 01:20:03,332
for the rest of his death.
1373
01:20:03,365 --> 01:20:05,802
Otherwise I can't
guarantee his eating patterns.
1374
01:20:05,835 --> 01:20:08,203
Brains, he likes brains.
1375
01:20:10,405 --> 01:20:13,408
Morse is my captain, I can't.
1376
01:20:14,409 --> 01:20:17,747
I mean if she even suspects
I'm negotiating, I'm dead.
1377
01:20:17,780 --> 01:20:19,081
Or a zombie.
1378
01:20:19,114 --> 01:20:21,216
Or a lunch.
1379
01:20:21,683 --> 01:20:24,186
Morse is tough as nails,
but she's nothing compared
1380
01:20:24,219 --> 01:20:26,388
to the hard ass
agent we work for.
1381
01:20:26,421 --> 01:20:29,691
If you take us out,
they'll just send more.
1382
01:20:29,726 --> 01:20:32,729
They'll never give up.
They'll just keep coming.
1383
01:20:32,762 --> 01:20:35,163
They're like zombies,
only from the government.
1384
01:20:35,197 --> 01:20:38,333
Alright fine, then he's lunch
and the asshole in the bathroom
1385
01:20:38,367 --> 01:20:39,535
is dinner.
1386
01:20:39,568 --> 01:20:43,338
No, it's time for what they
call in one of Bill's shows,
1387
01:20:43,372 --> 01:20:46,141
a field upgrade.
1388
01:20:46,174 --> 01:20:49,478
Upgrade, you mean
a field promotion.
1389
01:20:49,511 --> 01:20:51,580
That requires a commander
in the field to be wounded
1390
01:20:51,613 --> 01:20:53,615
or killed or...
1391
01:20:54,851 --> 01:20:56,118
Oh.
1392
01:20:56,151 --> 01:20:58,420
Baxter here is gonna be a hero.
1393
01:20:58,453 --> 01:21:01,523
He is gonna save the
country, win a medal,
1394
01:21:01,557 --> 01:21:04,660
and earn a field promotion.
1395
01:21:05,762 --> 01:21:07,764
Carrie.
1396
01:21:09,131 --> 01:21:10,833
(snarling sound effect)
1397
01:21:16,204 --> 01:21:18,674
Baby, you know how excited
I get when you do that.
1398
01:21:18,708 --> 01:21:20,375
Yeah.
1399
01:21:20,409 --> 01:21:23,111
(eerie ambience)
1400
01:21:23,145 --> 01:21:26,148
BAXTER:
No, no, no!
1401
01:21:26,181 --> 01:21:27,583
(glass breaking sound)
1402
01:21:27,616 --> 01:21:29,786
(screaming sounds)
1403
01:21:34,222 --> 01:21:34,991
(door opening sound)
1404
01:21:35,024 --> 01:21:37,359
Leave him alone
you zombie freaks.
1405
01:21:37,392 --> 01:21:39,294
That is no way
to talk to a lady.
1406
01:21:39,328 --> 01:21:42,331
You don't scare me.
(screaming sounds in background)
1407
01:21:43,866 --> 01:21:46,769
(growling and thud sound effect)
1408
01:21:46,803 --> 01:21:50,405
Shut up, no one
likes a whiny dinner.
1409
01:21:55,878 --> 01:21:58,715
You interrupted my
meal, I would listen hard
1410
01:21:58,748 --> 01:22:02,885
to whatever she says and
yes, is the preferred answer.
1411
01:22:02,919 --> 01:22:06,923
Relax Bill, it's
Carrie's turn to eat.
1412
01:22:06,956 --> 01:22:09,191
Baxter is looking
a little stringy.
1413
01:22:09,224 --> 01:22:10,325
I'll soften him up.
1414
01:22:10,359 --> 01:22:11,794
You bastard...
1415
01:22:11,828 --> 01:22:15,297
Hold your tongue or
I'll do it with my teeth.
1416
01:22:15,330 --> 01:22:16,541
(groaning can be
heard in background)
1417
01:22:16,565 --> 01:22:17,767
SHELLY:
We're gonna let you go.
1418
01:22:17,800 --> 01:22:20,268
We just have a few
simple requests,
1419
01:22:20,302 --> 01:22:22,404
and everybody's happy.
1420
01:22:22,437 --> 01:22:24,473
You can say yes now.
1421
01:22:24,506 --> 01:22:26,575
(growling sound effect)
1422
01:22:28,778 --> 01:22:30,880
Yes.
1423
01:22:30,913 --> 01:22:32,547
Good.
1424
01:22:32,581 --> 01:22:36,886
Charlie, guard her while
we go get everything ready.
1425
01:22:36,919 --> 01:22:38,921
(thuds and punching
sounds in background)
1426
01:22:41,791 --> 01:22:42,892
I can still save him.
1427
01:22:42,925 --> 01:22:46,763
Shut it G-man, G-woman.
1428
01:22:46,796 --> 01:22:48,497
You haven't been bitten.
1429
01:22:48,530 --> 01:22:51,500
Bill's gone, Carrie
too, and your sister
1430
01:22:51,533 --> 01:22:53,235
she's cracked, lost her mind.
1431
01:22:53,268 --> 01:22:54,771
That's my sister.
1432
01:22:54,804 --> 01:22:58,808
But we can save her,
some therapy sure,
1433
01:22:58,841 --> 01:23:01,677
there will be
some scarring, painful.
1434
01:23:01,711 --> 01:23:06,314
But my team has the
best lab in the world
1435
01:23:06,348 --> 01:23:07,449
and you can join us.
1436
01:23:07,482 --> 01:23:09,986
The agency needs a
smart guy like you.
1437
01:23:10,019 --> 01:23:13,689
I could get you a level
three, five clearance.
1438
01:23:13,723 --> 01:23:16,591
Level five, go
anywhere, anytime.
1439
01:23:16,625 --> 01:23:21,229
It's your destiny kid, we've
been watching you for years.
1440
01:23:21,263 --> 01:23:22,965
We know all about you.
1441
01:23:22,999 --> 01:23:26,869
You see things, you have what
it takes, you're special.
1442
01:23:26,903 --> 01:23:29,337
Join us, untie the ropes.
1443
01:23:30,472 --> 01:23:32,674
You've got a bright future kid.
1444
01:23:32,709 --> 01:23:34,443
Unlimited resources.
1445
01:23:34,476 --> 01:23:36,278
And more.
(faint groaning and mumbling)
1446
01:23:36,311 --> 01:23:38,848
I can even get you field work.
1447
01:23:38,881 --> 01:23:41,249
And access to
the NSA data banks.
1448
01:23:41,283 --> 01:23:43,953
Don't push it kid, come on.
1449
01:23:43,986 --> 01:23:46,923
♪ Upbeat music ♪
1450
01:23:46,956 --> 01:23:49,491
Quick, where are the tasers?
1451
01:23:55,697 --> 01:23:57,699
(thuds)
1452
01:24:02,671 --> 01:24:04,639
You ready for this soldier?
1453
01:24:04,673 --> 01:24:06,909
Semper Fi.
1454
01:24:06,943 --> 01:24:09,979
You take the girl, the
prime is mine, booyah!
1455
01:24:10,012 --> 01:24:11,379
Oh, booyah.
1456
01:24:11,413 --> 01:24:13,682
(whimpering and groaning)
1457
01:24:16,018 --> 01:24:19,287
(phone rings)
1458
01:24:19,321 --> 01:24:20,622
Oh jeez.
1459
01:24:28,396 --> 01:24:30,665
Shelly, get out of here
while you still can!
1460
01:24:30,699 --> 01:24:32,001
(louud punch sound effect)
1461
01:24:32,034 --> 01:24:34,302
Carrie how could you?
1462
01:24:34,336 --> 01:24:38,340
(taser firing up sound effect)
1463
01:24:41,543 --> 01:24:43,645
(groaning in pain sound)
1464
01:24:47,116 --> 01:24:48,951
What have you done?
1465
01:24:48,985 --> 01:24:52,789
You and I will rule
a new world order.
1466
01:24:52,822 --> 01:24:56,324
A powerful, invincible
army of the undead.
1467
01:24:57,860 --> 01:25:01,898
These mortals, they're
nothing, they're food.
1468
01:25:01,931 --> 01:25:03,900
You killed my wife.
1469
01:25:03,933 --> 01:25:05,567
Shelly was nothing.
1470
01:25:05,600 --> 01:25:09,806
She was a mere inconvenience
to your path to your destiny.
1471
01:25:09,839 --> 01:25:13,408
Do you feel this power, this
power between us coursing
1472
01:25:13,441 --> 01:25:16,112
through your dead veins.
1473
01:25:16,145 --> 01:25:19,048
Kiss me before I kill the human.
1474
01:25:19,949 --> 01:25:22,852
Not on my watch you freaks!
1475
01:25:22,885 --> 01:25:23,896
I got this.
♪ Intense music ♪
1476
01:25:23,920 --> 01:25:28,925
(zapping and groaning)
1477
01:25:50,146 --> 01:25:53,850
You killed my
queen, prepare to die.
1478
01:25:55,084 --> 01:25:56,986
(zapping sound effect)
1479
01:26:03,125 --> 01:26:05,862
Baxter you killed the prime.
1480
01:26:05,895 --> 01:26:08,563
You're alive, oh Baxter.
1481
01:26:10,166 --> 01:26:12,134
Now what?
1482
01:26:12,168 --> 01:26:14,036
We've got to get his
blood back to the lab,
1483
01:26:14,070 --> 01:26:15,171
we can't lose this strain.
1484
01:26:15,204 --> 01:26:18,440
Get the machete,
cut his head off.
1485
01:26:20,142 --> 01:26:21,143
Morse.
1486
01:26:21,177 --> 01:26:22,778
Not now soldier.
1487
01:26:22,812 --> 01:26:25,114
The virus dies within
minutes once the host fails.
1488
01:26:25,147 --> 01:26:27,649
What kind of kitchen
doesn't have Tupperware?
1489
01:26:27,682 --> 01:26:28,683
Morse.
1490
01:26:29,018 --> 01:26:30,820
Baxter we've got to move, what?
1491
01:26:30,853 --> 01:26:34,023
Look, you're hand.
1492
01:26:34,056 --> 01:26:36,125
(tired laughing sound)
1493
01:26:37,226 --> 01:26:40,830
Son of a dead bitch he bit me.
1494
01:26:43,099 --> 01:26:44,599
I'm the new prime.
1495
01:26:46,068 --> 01:26:48,070
Okay.
1496
01:26:48,104 --> 01:26:51,439
Okay, get me back
to the lab Baxter
1497
01:26:51,473 --> 01:26:53,142
you're the new
mission leader, soldier.
1498
01:26:53,175 --> 01:26:55,945
Get me back before I turn.
1499
01:26:55,978 --> 01:26:58,147
Ma'am yes ma'am.
1500
01:26:58,180 --> 01:27:00,216
That son of a bitch.
1501
01:27:00,249 --> 01:27:03,551
Not now Baxter, mission,
god, and country soldier.
1502
01:27:03,585 --> 01:27:06,521
Let the cleaners
handle this mess.
1503
01:27:06,554 --> 01:27:09,959
Wait, what about your wife?
1504
01:27:12,694 --> 01:27:16,165
What kind of a partner
would I be to her now?
1505
01:27:16,198 --> 01:27:19,035
Tell her...
1506
01:27:19,068 --> 01:27:23,172
Tell her the truth, I'm dead.
1507
01:27:23,205 --> 01:27:26,608
Tell her I died in combat.
1508
01:27:26,641 --> 01:27:28,510
It would be a privilege ma'am.
1509
01:27:28,543 --> 01:27:31,080
You'll make the wall of honor.
1510
01:27:38,154 --> 01:27:41,157
(car engine revving)
1511
01:27:42,557 --> 01:27:45,061
(tense music)
1512
01:27:58,975 --> 01:28:01,509
Lousy store brand ketchup.
1513
01:28:15,891 --> 01:28:20,896
♪ Upbeat music ♪
1514
01:28:50,926 --> 01:28:54,030
You came alone, risky?
1515
01:28:54,063 --> 01:28:57,867
Not really, I never am alone.
1516
01:28:57,900 --> 01:29:01,170
Well look who came for dinner.
1517
01:29:04,874 --> 01:29:06,842
(growling sound)
1518
01:29:06,876 --> 01:29:08,077
Guys.
1519
01:29:08,110 --> 01:29:09,245
(laughing sound)
1520
01:29:09,278 --> 01:29:11,247
Good, it was good.
1521
01:29:11,280 --> 01:29:14,283
(upbeat jazzy rock music)
1522
01:29:14,316 --> 01:29:17,619
I like what you
did with the place.
1523
01:29:20,056 --> 01:29:22,358
Oh, ha, very festive.
1524
01:29:22,391 --> 01:29:24,193
So who's birthday is it?
1525
01:29:24,226 --> 01:29:26,661
Hey, look who
decided to show up.
1526
01:29:26,694 --> 01:29:27,963
You know I almost missed you.
1527
01:29:27,997 --> 01:29:29,965
Yeah, I bet.
1528
01:29:29,999 --> 01:29:32,902
Status green,
repeat, status green.
1529
01:29:34,203 --> 01:29:36,305
(laughing in background)
1530
01:29:39,341 --> 01:29:40,876
Your birthday?
1531
01:29:40,910 --> 01:29:43,245
No sir, but nice new suit.
1532
01:29:44,346 --> 01:29:48,616
I just made captain, I've
gotta dress like a captain.
1533
01:29:48,650 --> 01:29:50,618
I see everything okay,
1534
01:29:50,652 --> 01:29:53,322
no problems with the
house, neighbors?
1535
01:29:56,158 --> 01:29:57,259
Your birthday?
1536
01:29:57,293 --> 01:29:58,828
Getting close.
1537
01:29:58,861 --> 01:30:00,296
BAXTER:
I'll get it.
1538
01:30:00,329 --> 01:30:01,663
Nice marbling.
1539
01:30:01,696 --> 01:30:04,333
Organic certified,
grass fed vegans.
1540
01:30:04,366 --> 01:30:07,837
Good. Honey, I assume
you want those raw?
1541
01:30:07,870 --> 01:30:09,772
Baxter can I get you
anything, a beer?
1542
01:30:09,805 --> 01:30:12,775
No, no I'm fine, let's
get down to business.
1543
01:30:12,808 --> 01:30:14,009
Who's first?
1544
01:30:14,043 --> 01:30:15,277
Birthday boy?
1545
01:30:15,311 --> 01:30:17,146
No, not my birthday.
1546
01:30:19,381 --> 01:30:20,850
So how is she?
1547
01:30:20,883 --> 01:30:22,151
Agent Morse?
1548
01:30:22,184 --> 01:30:24,920
She's fine, safely
tucked away in a secret lab
1549
01:30:24,954 --> 01:30:28,357
serving her country,
never been happier.
1550
01:30:28,390 --> 01:30:32,828
Well, we have a little
exciting news ourselves.
1551
01:30:32,862 --> 01:30:34,830
What no?
1552
01:30:34,864 --> 01:30:36,664
You've been behaving
yourselves right?
1553
01:30:36,698 --> 01:30:38,434
You're in witness
protection now.
1554
01:30:38,467 --> 01:30:40,936
Quite wonderful actually.
1555
01:30:43,005 --> 01:30:45,107
(laughing)
1556
01:30:51,480 --> 01:30:54,850
Uncle Baxter.
1557
01:30:54,884 --> 01:30:57,386
You sure you don't want a beer?
1558
01:31:02,858 --> 01:31:05,928
(baby coos and devilish groan)
1559
01:31:05,961 --> 01:31:08,797
(burps)
1560
01:31:09,798 --> 01:31:12,301
(exciting jazzy
instrumental music)
1561
01:31:12,334 --> 01:31:14,403
♪ MALE SINGER: Yummy yummy ♪
1562
01:31:14,436 --> 01:31:18,107
♪ When I see you I
start rubbing my tummy ♪
1563
01:31:18,140 --> 01:31:19,475
♪ I'm stiff as a mummy ♪
1564
01:31:19,508 --> 01:31:22,711
♪ You're so sweet to me ♪
1565
01:31:24,346 --> 01:31:27,316
FEMALE SINGER: ♪You got big
muscles ♪
1566
01:31:27,349 --> 01:31:31,187
♪ I like your veins and all your
corpuscles ♪
1567
01:31:31,220 --> 01:31:33,022
♪ why should we tussle ♪
1568
01:31:33,055 --> 01:31:37,826
♪ You're so sweet to me ♪
1569
01:31:37,860 --> 01:31:39,371
♪ MALE SINGER: A hug.
FEMALE SINGER: A hug. ♪
1570
01:31:39,395 --> 01:31:41,363
♪ MALE SINGER: A kiss.
FEMALE SINGER: A kiss. ♪
1571
01:31:41,397 --> 01:31:44,366
♪ MALE SINGER:
What's as sweet as this? ♪
1572
01:31:44,400 --> 01:31:49,371
♪ TOGETHER IN HARMONY: Another
day of bliss around the house ♪
1573
01:31:50,973 --> 01:31:54,143
♪ MALE SINGER: A fool am I... ♪
1574
01:31:54,176 --> 01:31:57,246
♪ For your lovely thigh ♪
1575
01:31:57,279 --> 01:31:58,814
♪ FEMALE SINGER: You're my man! ♪
1576
01:31:58,847 --> 01:32:01,116
♪ MALE SINGER: And you're my
wife, ♪
1577
01:32:01,150 --> 01:32:04,119
♪ I may be dead but, you're my
life! ♪
1578
01:32:04,153 --> 01:32:06,522
♪ Can't wait to ravage... ♪
1579
01:32:06,555 --> 01:32:07,823
♪ FEMALE SINGER: Darling! ♪
1580
01:32:07,856 --> 01:32:10,826
♪ MALE SINGER: I'll stuff my face
like you're a stuffed cabbage! ♪
1581
01:32:10,859 --> 01:32:14,830
♪ Call me a savage, you're so
sweet to me ♪
1582
01:32:14,863 --> 01:32:16,832
♪ FEMALE SINGER: Savage!
MALE SINGER: Oh yeah. ♪
1583
01:32:16,865 --> 01:32:20,836
♪ FEMALE SINGER: Your lips
invite me, ♪
1584
01:32:20,869 --> 01:32:24,173
♪ I admit I kind of like it when
you bite me ♪
1585
01:32:24,206 --> 01:32:25,908
♪ Yes you delight me ♪
1586
01:32:25,941 --> 01:32:30,379
♪ You're so sweet to me ♪
1587
01:32:31,347 --> 01:32:34,350
Baby, I know my appetite gets
out of control sometimes-
1588
01:32:34,383 --> 01:32:36,252
I love watchin' you eat baby.
1589
01:32:36,285 --> 01:32:38,821
But I hope you know that
whenever my tummy growls,
1590
01:32:38,854 --> 01:32:39,822
it's only for you.
1591
01:32:39,855 --> 01:32:42,791
(laughs) Oh, sweetie!
1592
01:32:42,825 --> 01:32:46,495
♪ MALE SINGER: I feel so young! ♪
1593
01:32:46,528 --> 01:32:50,065
♪ FEMALE SINGER: Wish you'd slip
me your tongue ♪
1594
01:32:50,099 --> 01:32:51,867
♪ You're my man ♪
1595
01:32:51,900 --> 01:32:54,103
♪ MALE SINGER: And you're my
wife, ♪
1596
01:32:54,136 --> 01:32:57,072
♪ I may be dead, but you're my
life! ♪
1597
01:33:00,542 --> 01:33:03,588
♪ MALE SINGER: You're so sweet to me...
FEMALE SINGER: You're so sweet to me... ♪
1598
01:33:03,612 --> 01:33:07,416
♪ MALE SINGER: You're so sweet to me!
FEMALE SINGER: You're so sweet to me! ♪
115489
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