Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:04,265 --> 00:00:05,676
You're thinking
about New Christine?
2
00:00:05,677 --> 00:00:07,015
We're on a break, it's fine.
3
00:00:07,016 --> 00:00:09,229
Besides I'm not talking
about this with you.
4
00:00:09,230 --> 00:00:09,997
Why?
5
00:00:09,998 --> 00:00:11,687
Because you're my ex-wife.
6
00:00:11,688 --> 00:00:13,447
I'm also your friend.
7
00:00:13,448 --> 00:00:15,182
You're not my friend.
8
00:00:15,183 --> 00:00:16,783
Yeah, Christine, she was home.
9
00:00:16,784 --> 00:00:19,747
She was home cooking
another man dinner.
10
00:00:19,748 --> 00:00:22,093
By the phone?
11
00:00:22,094 --> 00:00:24,510
Damn it!
Why did I listen to you?
12
00:00:24,511 --> 00:00:26,525
We're not on a break.
We're broken up.
13
00:00:26,526 --> 00:00:27,748
Richard...
14
00:00:27,749 --> 00:00:29,136
buddy...
15
00:00:29,137 --> 00:00:32,757
what can I do to make
you feel better?
16
00:00:34,717 --> 00:00:37,706
- Want to make me feel better?
- I do. What do you want, pal?
17
00:00:37,707 --> 00:00:40,207
I want sex.
18
00:00:40,407 --> 00:00:42,907
With who?
19
00:00:42,948 --> 00:00:45,448
You, pal.
20
00:00:48,777 --> 00:00:51,056
So, anything interesting
happening at school today?
21
00:00:51,057 --> 00:00:54,217
We're going to look at slides of
skin cells under a real microscope.
22
00:00:54,218 --> 00:00:55,595
What are you doing
at med school?
23
00:00:55,596 --> 00:00:57,985
Oh, me and my lab partner,
Larry, are building a ramp,
24
00:00:57,986 --> 00:01:01,446
we're going to jump
my bike over it.
25
00:01:01,586 --> 00:01:03,945
Hey, sweetie pie,
daddy's going to be here any second.
26
00:01:03,946 --> 00:01:05,214
Go get your stuff ready, okay?
27
00:01:05,215 --> 00:01:06,804
- Okay, Mom.
- Okay.
28
00:01:06,805 --> 00:01:09,386
Mmm, ga...
what are you guys eating?
29
00:01:09,387 --> 00:01:10,817
Ooh, that smells disgusting.
30
00:01:10,818 --> 00:01:11,935
It's eggs. You want some?
31
00:01:11,936 --> 00:01:14,337
Yeah, a little.
32
00:01:14,338 --> 00:01:16,135
- Hey.
- Hey.
33
00:01:16,136 --> 00:01:18,686
Hey, can you pick up
Ritchie after school today?
34
00:01:18,687 --> 00:01:20,985
New Christine called and she
wants to come over to talk.
35
00:01:20,986 --> 00:01:23,496
Oh, yeah? You think you guys
are going to get back together?
36
00:01:23,497 --> 00:01:24,487
I don't know. I hope so.
37
00:01:24,488 --> 00:01:25,626
I hate being broken up.
38
00:01:25,627 --> 00:01:28,086
It's so sad and lonely.
I feel like such a loser.
39
00:01:28,087 --> 00:01:29,666
I don't know how you do it.
40
00:01:29,667 --> 00:01:30,987
Just takes a little courage.
41
00:01:30,988 --> 00:01:35,458
Oh, by the way, Matthew...
we're out of courage.
42
00:01:35,786 --> 00:01:36,647
Hey, Dad.
43
00:01:36,648 --> 00:01:38,097
Hey, there he is.
You ready for school?
44
00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:40,897
Yeah. We're gonna look at skin
cells under a microscope.
45
00:01:40,898 --> 00:01:43,267
At my job, we hid a bunch of
barbeque ribs in the wall,
46
00:01:43,268 --> 00:01:44,964
we're going to freak
out the electrician.
47
00:01:44,965 --> 00:01:45,947
Cool.
48
00:01:45,948 --> 00:01:47,007
Come on.
49
00:01:47,008 --> 00:01:48,506
Hey, good luck with
New Christine.
50
00:01:48,507 --> 00:01:51,367
- Bye, lovey-dovey.
- Bye, Mom.
51
00:01:52,498 --> 00:01:54,467
So, what's the deal
with you and Richard?
52
00:01:54,468 --> 00:01:55,694
What deal? We're fine.
53
00:01:55,695 --> 00:01:57,414
You slept together a week ago.
54
00:01:57,415 --> 00:01:58,317
So?
55
00:01:58,318 --> 00:02:01,054
So, it should be awkward.
You should be stuttering
56
00:02:01,055 --> 00:02:03,395
and sweating and
avoiding eye contact.
57
00:02:03,396 --> 00:02:05,025
Why? It's just sex.
58
00:02:05,026 --> 00:02:06,436
You're in, you're out.
59
00:02:06,437 --> 00:02:08,674
It's a simple transaction.
60
00:02:08,675 --> 00:02:10,615
God, it's like you're
buying a sofa.
61
00:02:10,616 --> 00:02:13,116
A filthy, used sofa.
62
00:02:13,328 --> 00:02:16,517
You know what, it doesn't count with
me and Richard, 'cause we were married,
63
00:02:16,518 --> 00:02:19,404
and we weren't involved with
anyone else at the time.
64
00:02:19,405 --> 00:02:21,924
It's a victimless crime.
No consequences.
65
00:02:21,925 --> 00:02:23,917
No, sex always
has consequences.
66
00:02:23,918 --> 00:02:26,565
Either someone falls in love,
or someone gets hurt,
67
00:02:26,566 --> 00:02:30,476
or someone convinces themself there
was more there than there really was.
68
00:02:30,477 --> 00:02:34,706
- Oh, she didn't call you yet, huh?
- No! And I left her a thousand messages.
69
00:02:34,707 --> 00:02:38,755
Can you get these dishes away?
This... oh, God, this stuff stinks.
70
00:02:38,756 --> 00:02:39,896
What's going on with you, huh?
71
00:02:39,897 --> 00:02:42,735
I don't know. My sense of smell
is really heightened lately.
72
00:02:42,736 --> 00:02:47,446
I haven't been this sensitive
since I was pregnant.
73
00:02:47,746 --> 00:02:49,456
Consequences?
74
00:02:49,457 --> 00:02:52,947
You've got to be
freakin' kidding me.
75
00:02:59,125 --> 00:03:01,726
I cannot be pregnant.
I'm only two pounds away
76
00:03:01,727 --> 00:03:04,386
from losing the
baby-weight from Ritchie.
77
00:03:04,387 --> 00:03:07,497
I need one of those early detection
tests. Do you see one of those?
78
00:03:07,498 --> 00:03:10,785
Well, I'm seeing a whole
lot of creams and...
79
00:03:10,786 --> 00:03:14,486
hey, look,
a douche bag's a real thing.
80
00:03:17,855 --> 00:03:21,637
No, I need one of those tests you can
take before you missed your period.
81
00:03:21,638 --> 00:03:22,884
Wait, you're not even late?
82
00:03:22,885 --> 00:03:23,996
What are we doing here?
83
00:03:23,997 --> 00:03:26,515
And how did my
calendar get off?
84
00:03:26,516 --> 00:03:28,487
I don't have to be late, okay?
85
00:03:28,488 --> 00:03:31,046
I know my body and it's
telling me I'm pregnant:
86
00:03:31,047 --> 00:03:33,225
I'm sensitive to smells,
I'm exhausted,
87
00:03:33,226 --> 00:03:36,777
and do you have any idea
what my boobs feel like?
88
00:03:36,778 --> 00:03:39,278
I wish I could say no.
89
00:03:43,025 --> 00:03:45,377
Hey, I got your message.
Came as soon as I could.
90
00:03:45,378 --> 00:03:46,355
What? I didn't call you.
91
00:03:46,356 --> 00:03:49,416
I did. I'm sorry.
I need a break.
92
00:03:49,417 --> 00:03:51,495
I mean, I've been there for
you through your divorce,
93
00:03:51,496 --> 00:03:53,126
two juice fasts, "The Cleanse",
94
00:03:53,127 --> 00:03:57,286
the week when you thought Jon Stewart
was calling you and hanging up.
95
00:03:57,287 --> 00:03:59,706
Hey, it said "private caller,"
96
00:03:59,707 --> 00:04:02,652
and he's a very private man.
97
00:04:03,826 --> 00:04:06,234
- It's time to pass the torch.
- So what's the problem?
98
00:04:06,235 --> 00:04:08,384
She thinks she's pregnant.
Her symptoms include:
99
00:04:08,385 --> 00:04:10,536
general swelling,
fatigue, nausea,
100
00:04:10,537 --> 00:04:13,104
- heightened sense of smell.
- Tell her about my nipples.
101
00:04:13,105 --> 00:04:17,085
And if you need me,
I'll be in the assisted suicide aisle.
102
00:04:17,086 --> 00:04:19,735
Oh, God, Barb,
I don't know what I'm going to do.
103
00:04:19,736 --> 00:04:21,436
I didn't plan on
having another baby.
104
00:04:21,437 --> 00:04:23,655
I was finally
getting my life back.
105
00:04:23,656 --> 00:04:26,156
Were you?
106
00:04:28,348 --> 00:04:30,848
No.
107
00:04:30,888 --> 00:04:32,234
Look, before you go crazy,
108
00:04:32,235 --> 00:04:34,245
why don't you take a test and
find out if you're pregnant?
109
00:04:34,246 --> 00:04:35,355
No, I can't take it yet.
110
00:04:35,356 --> 00:04:38,094
Even with these early detection tests,
you have to wait a couple of days.
111
00:04:38,095 --> 00:04:39,744
And I just hate not knowing.
112
00:04:39,745 --> 00:04:41,066
I'm going to have
to tell Richard.
113
00:04:41,067 --> 00:04:42,777
Why don't you wait
until you know for sure?
114
00:04:42,778 --> 00:04:44,386
Because this is torture.
115
00:04:44,387 --> 00:04:47,944
Why does he get to go all about his
dopey way, all satisfied and relaxed
116
00:04:47,945 --> 00:04:52,075
while I'm miserable,
and flatulent and sober?
117
00:04:52,908 --> 00:04:55,898
And plus,
you might be pregnant.
118
00:04:56,396 --> 00:04:58,304
I don't see anything
under that name.
119
00:04:58,305 --> 00:05:00,677
Are you sure your doctor didn't
send it to another pharmacy?
120
00:05:00,678 --> 00:05:03,776
Yes, I'm sure. I've been coming
here since I was like 11.
121
00:05:03,777 --> 00:05:06,327
Where's the little Chinese
guy who usually works here?
122
00:05:06,328 --> 00:05:08,404
Hey, Phon?
123
00:05:08,405 --> 00:05:09,266
Phon?
124
00:05:09,267 --> 00:05:12,275
His name is John.
And he's on break.
125
00:05:12,276 --> 00:05:14,776
Well, find him.
126
00:05:16,236 --> 00:05:18,427
It's my anti-anxiety
medication.
127
00:05:18,428 --> 00:05:20,928
You don't say.
128
00:05:21,156 --> 00:05:22,576
Oh, great.
129
00:05:22,577 --> 00:05:23,825
Oh, look who's here.
130
00:05:23,826 --> 00:05:28,376
Oh, good, you work here now.
Could you find Phon?
131
00:05:30,866 --> 00:05:32,135
Wait, what is that?
132
00:05:32,136 --> 00:05:34,164
That's not a pregnancy test?
Are you pregnant?
133
00:05:34,165 --> 00:05:36,025
- Oh, well, I...
- Of course she's not pregnant.
134
00:05:36,026 --> 00:05:38,315
- That's impossible.
- No, remember that woman on Oprah
135
00:05:38,316 --> 00:05:40,366
who gave birth to those
twins when she was 60?
136
00:05:40,367 --> 00:05:43,505
And I got a Google Alert about
a parrot who gave birth at 90.
137
00:05:43,506 --> 00:05:44,217
Really?
138
00:05:44,218 --> 00:05:46,924
Well, actually,
the pregnancy test is for me.
139
00:05:46,925 --> 00:05:50,166
I don't know how it happened. I was
messing around with some married guy
140
00:05:50,167 --> 00:05:52,667
in this nice neighborhood...
141
00:05:53,068 --> 00:05:55,568
Where do you live again?
142
00:05:59,004 --> 00:06:01,310
- Vista Heights.
- Vista Heights.
143
00:06:01,311 --> 00:06:03,785
- Yeah.
- Yeah, that was it.
144
00:06:03,786 --> 00:06:08,718
And the strangest thing, there was a
picture of some chick, looked just like...
145
00:06:08,719 --> 00:06:10,254
you.
146
00:06:10,255 --> 00:06:13,162
No, wait, um, maybe it was you.
147
00:06:13,188 --> 00:06:16,490
Hmm. Oh, well. Wish me luck.
148
00:06:19,767 --> 00:06:22,627
- Yeah, good luck.
- Good luck.
149
00:06:23,336 --> 00:06:26,646
- Thank you for that.
- My pleasure.
150
00:06:31,245 --> 00:06:33,016
I can't believe
this is happening.
151
00:06:33,017 --> 00:06:34,693
I missed you so much.
152
00:06:34,694 --> 00:06:36,533
Being apart from
you made me realize
153
00:06:36,534 --> 00:06:38,395
I don't care if you're
not ready to get married.
154
00:06:38,396 --> 00:06:39,853
I just want to be with you.
155
00:06:39,854 --> 00:06:41,465
Everything else can wait.
156
00:06:41,466 --> 00:06:42,906
I hate being away from you.
157
00:06:42,907 --> 00:06:43,935
Me, too.
158
00:06:43,936 --> 00:06:48,036
It's awful out there.
Dating is a nightmare.
159
00:06:48,216 --> 00:06:50,586
Dating? You were dating?
160
00:06:50,587 --> 00:06:52,175
Yeah, I told you that.
161
00:06:52,176 --> 00:06:53,834
You said one date.
162
00:06:53,835 --> 00:06:56,335
I don't think so.
163
00:06:56,727 --> 00:06:59,314
So what do you want to do to celebrate?
Should we go out to dinner?
164
00:06:59,315 --> 00:07:00,975
Sure. Anything.
165
00:07:00,976 --> 00:07:03,750
So, how many dates?
166
00:07:03,785 --> 00:07:05,486
Like, two?
167
00:07:05,487 --> 00:07:07,515
Well, two and a
three-day weekend.
168
00:07:07,516 --> 00:07:08,873
Which I guess is five.
169
00:07:08,874 --> 00:07:12,814
Or three,
if you count the weekend as one.
170
00:07:13,997 --> 00:07:16,497
There was a weekend?
171
00:07:16,834 --> 00:07:19,664
Well, it turned into a weekend.
172
00:07:19,807 --> 00:07:21,385
Sweetie, it doesn't matter.
173
00:07:21,386 --> 00:07:24,186
I'm here, with you, right now.
174
00:07:27,957 --> 00:07:29,896
You're right.
175
00:07:29,897 --> 00:07:32,397
That's all that matters.
176
00:07:33,457 --> 00:07:36,947
Oh, my God, Ron,
we're back together.
177
00:07:37,476 --> 00:07:39,286
What?!
178
00:07:39,287 --> 00:07:42,327
I'm going to get
some champagne.
179
00:07:43,036 --> 00:07:45,536
Ron?
180
00:07:50,087 --> 00:07:52,655
Okay, Richard.
We've got to talk.
181
00:07:52,656 --> 00:07:54,533
Now, I have
something to tell you
182
00:07:54,534 --> 00:07:56,913
and you're probably going to freak
out but I just want you to listen
183
00:07:56,914 --> 00:07:59,516
before you say anything
because this is huge.
184
00:07:59,517 --> 00:08:01,684
Who's Ron?
185
00:08:01,685 --> 00:08:04,344
Okay, so, this morning,
I was feeling a little weird,
186
00:08:04,345 --> 00:08:06,855
- I went to the drug store...
- Oh, look who it is.
187
00:08:06,856 --> 00:08:09,356
Richard.
188
00:08:09,405 --> 00:08:11,964
- What?
- You called me Ron.
189
00:08:11,965 --> 00:08:14,465
I don't think so.
190
00:08:14,584 --> 00:08:16,105
Hi, Christine.
191
00:08:16,106 --> 00:08:17,055
Hi.
192
00:08:17,056 --> 00:08:19,025
Wha... uh, what,
what is she doing here?
193
00:08:19,026 --> 00:08:20,826
We're back together.
194
00:08:20,827 --> 00:08:22,045
Isn't it great?
195
00:08:22,046 --> 00:08:23,864
I just couldn't handle
being out there again.
196
00:08:23,865 --> 00:08:25,434
Some guy trying to impress you.
197
00:08:25,435 --> 00:08:27,803
"Here's my giant house."
"Here's my fancy car."
198
00:08:27,804 --> 00:08:32,805
"We're already in Nevada,
we might as well make it a weekend."
199
00:08:32,806 --> 00:08:35,306
We're together now, though.
200
00:08:37,076 --> 00:08:39,484
So... what's the big news?
201
00:08:39,485 --> 00:08:42,300
It's... nothing, really.
202
00:08:42,307 --> 00:08:44,575
Come on,
you said you had huge news.
203
00:08:44,576 --> 00:08:48,699
No, it's, it's no big deal,
it's just...
204
00:08:50,766 --> 00:08:53,266
Yeah, maybe a little.
205
00:08:53,806 --> 00:08:56,206
What? No, no.
206
00:08:56,207 --> 00:08:59,619
Pay attention. You and me...
207
00:09:02,727 --> 00:09:07,383
Well, I'm flattered,
but I told you we're back together.
208
00:09:07,384 --> 00:09:09,203
Christine, would you
like some champagne?
209
00:09:09,204 --> 00:09:10,895
No, I can't.
210
00:09:10,896 --> 00:09:13,173
Even though I love champagne.
211
00:09:13,174 --> 00:09:16,664
And I'm not on
antibiotics right now.
212
00:09:16,694 --> 00:09:19,194
I can't.
213
00:09:20,234 --> 00:09:23,404
Oh, g...
I'm getting out of here.
214
00:09:24,667 --> 00:09:26,223
What was that all about?
215
00:09:26,224 --> 00:09:28,724
Christine feels fat.
216
00:09:29,055 --> 00:09:31,555
Yeah, maybe a little.
217
00:09:35,086 --> 00:09:37,756
Oh, my boobs are
about to explode.
218
00:09:37,757 --> 00:09:41,251
And... good day to you.
219
00:09:42,787 --> 00:09:45,253
Matthew, did you open
this pregnancy test?
220
00:09:45,254 --> 00:09:46,805
One of the sticks is missing.
221
00:09:46,806 --> 00:09:50,113
Oh, yeah, yeah,
I wanted to try it.
222
00:09:50,114 --> 00:09:54,436
Oh, and by the way,
you don't use it like a thermometer.
223
00:09:54,437 --> 00:09:56,065
All right, listen,
Matthew, you know,
224
00:09:56,066 --> 00:09:58,333
I am going through
kind of a thing here,
225
00:09:58,334 --> 00:10:00,385
and I could really
use a little support.
226
00:10:00,386 --> 00:10:02,314
I'm sorry;
I'm sure it'll be fine.
227
00:10:02,315 --> 00:10:03,755
You might not even be pregnant.
228
00:10:03,756 --> 00:10:07,903
Yeah, well, I better be pregnant,
'cause I just felt something kick.
229
00:10:07,904 --> 00:10:12,184
I'll go boil the water
and get some hot rags.
230
00:10:20,934 --> 00:10:22,974
- Hey.
- Oh, Daniel.
231
00:10:22,975 --> 00:10:25,325
I hope it's okay that
I just dropped by.
232
00:10:25,326 --> 00:10:26,236
Can I come in?
233
00:10:26,237 --> 00:10:28,747
Oh, yeah, sure, come on in.
234
00:10:34,397 --> 00:10:36,884
Sorry, uh,
this place is kind of a mess.
235
00:10:36,885 --> 00:10:40,015
If I'd known you were coming
I probably would have...
236
00:10:40,016 --> 00:10:42,375
moved.
237
00:10:42,376 --> 00:10:44,385
So listen,
I got some good news.
238
00:10:44,386 --> 00:10:46,516
Oh, great,
I could use some good news.
239
00:10:46,517 --> 00:10:48,556
I got a job offer
at another school.
240
00:10:48,557 --> 00:10:51,355
Which means I won't be your
son's teacher anymore.
241
00:10:51,356 --> 00:10:54,355
Which means,
if you're still interested,
242
00:10:54,356 --> 00:10:57,436
I would love to
go out with you.
243
00:10:57,437 --> 00:11:00,280
Oh, come on!
244
00:11:04,441 --> 00:11:07,490
So, great news, huh?
You and I can finally go out.
245
00:11:07,491 --> 00:11:10,249
And I was thinking for our first date,
we can go to this Italian place I know.
246
00:11:10,250 --> 00:11:15,550
And I know you like pizza, 'cause
I saw some on your floor over there.
247
00:11:15,551 --> 00:11:18,160
So what do you think about us?
248
00:11:18,161 --> 00:11:22,289
Uh, I'm not really sure
what I'm doing right now,
249
00:11:22,290 --> 00:11:24,790
so can I get back to you?
250
00:11:24,952 --> 00:11:26,830
Oh, okay.
251
00:11:26,831 --> 00:11:28,900
Can I ask,
is there someone else?
252
00:11:28,901 --> 00:11:32,391
That's the question
we're all asking.
253
00:11:33,492 --> 00:11:36,167
Okay. I feel like an idiot.
254
00:11:36,171 --> 00:11:39,440
I came over here assuming you felt the
same way about me as I feel about you.
255
00:11:39,441 --> 00:11:41,800
But obviously,
something's changed.
256
00:11:41,801 --> 00:11:44,518
I've just had a really bad day
257
00:11:44,519 --> 00:11:48,889
that could turn into
several really bad years...
258
00:11:51,140 --> 00:11:54,940
...and I just need a little bit
of time to figure things out.
259
00:11:54,941 --> 00:11:57,741
Can you give me a little time?
260
00:11:58,720 --> 00:12:00,891
- Sure.
- Okay. Yeah.
261
00:12:00,892 --> 00:12:02,868
Great. Well,
I'll call you tomorrow.
262
00:12:02,869 --> 00:12:05,945
Or in, uh, 18 years.
263
00:12:08,880 --> 00:12:10,751
Are you believing this?
264
00:12:10,752 --> 00:12:13,020
I mean,
my timing could not be worse.
265
00:12:13,021 --> 00:12:16,224
I am days away
from giving birth,
266
00:12:16,229 --> 00:12:18,800
and the man of my
dreams comes over
267
00:12:18,801 --> 00:12:21,649
and practically
throws himself at me.
268
00:12:21,650 --> 00:12:23,810
You know,
no one ever talks about it,
269
00:12:23,811 --> 00:12:29,131
but I guess there is a downside
to having unprotected sex.
270
00:12:30,321 --> 00:12:31,828
Barb, what am I gonna do?
271
00:12:31,829 --> 00:12:34,341
I mean, I've been waiting
all year to be with him,
272
00:12:34,342 --> 00:12:37,961
and being pregnant isn't
exactly a turn-on for most guys.
273
00:12:37,962 --> 00:12:41,459
Oh. Hey, wait.
What if I sleep with Daniel real fast
274
00:12:41,460 --> 00:12:45,450
and then I tell him
that the baby is his?!
275
00:12:45,530 --> 00:12:51,590
Really? You... You can't think of
a single problem with that plan?
276
00:12:54,499 --> 00:12:57,470
Are you wearing your
pregnancy jeans?
277
00:12:57,471 --> 00:13:00,941
I actually never
stopped wearing them.
278
00:13:02,779 --> 00:13:05,279
You're pregnant?!
279
00:13:05,769 --> 00:13:08,269
You just figured that out?
280
00:13:08,881 --> 00:13:11,421
You're terrible at charades.
281
00:13:11,811 --> 00:13:15,470
I am great at charades.
Shakespeare. Musical.
282
00:13:15,471 --> 00:13:21,108
Proper name. I think you got me
pregnant, you irresponsible goon.
283
00:13:21,109 --> 00:13:23,738
Hey, it's not all my fault.
You were right there with me.
284
00:13:23,739 --> 00:13:27,869
Actually, I was about
ten minutes behind you.
285
00:13:28,080 --> 00:13:30,331
That's nice,
mother of my children.
286
00:13:30,332 --> 00:13:32,010
- Yeah, you know what?
- Guys, guys.
287
00:13:32,011 --> 00:13:33,851
We don't even know if
she's pregnant yet.
288
00:13:33,852 --> 00:13:36,381
Let's just take the test,
and we'll figure it out from there.
289
00:13:36,382 --> 00:13:38,331
You haven't even
taken the test yet?
290
00:13:38,332 --> 00:13:40,088
What are you doing to me?!
291
00:13:40,089 --> 00:13:42,421
I can't take it yet,
Richard, okay?
292
00:13:42,422 --> 00:13:45,819
I have to wait for my
first morning's urine.
293
00:13:45,820 --> 00:13:48,921
But I know my body, all right?
I had two Reubens today.
294
00:13:48,922 --> 00:13:50,278
What does that tell you?
295
00:13:50,279 --> 00:13:52,329
- You're a pig.
- Oh, nice.
296
00:13:52,330 --> 00:13:55,400
Real nice,
father of my children.
297
00:13:55,450 --> 00:13:57,350
I'm sorry. Okay.
298
00:13:57,351 --> 00:13:59,321
I'm not mad at you.
299
00:13:59,322 --> 00:14:01,448
I just can't believe this.
300
00:14:01,449 --> 00:14:04,251
New Christine and I
just got back together.
301
00:14:04,252 --> 00:14:10,472
If you're pregnant, she's probably
gonna find out we slept together.
302
00:14:13,999 --> 00:14:17,319
Yeah, well, if I can't convince
Daniel that this baby is his,
303
00:14:17,320 --> 00:14:20,005
I have no shot with him!
304
00:14:24,661 --> 00:14:28,921
You two shouldn't be
allowed to have children.
305
00:14:29,230 --> 00:14:32,419
I can't believe I traded a meaningful
relationship with someone I love
306
00:14:32,420 --> 00:14:34,518
for 20 minutes of
dirty fun with you.
307
00:14:34,519 --> 00:14:35,860
Yeah, well,
how do you think I feel?
308
00:14:35,861 --> 00:14:39,641
I traded it for 10
minutes of dirty fun.
309
00:14:39,992 --> 00:14:42,290
So we can't find out
until tomorrow morning?
310
00:14:42,291 --> 00:14:43,609
What are we gonna
do until then?
311
00:14:43,610 --> 00:14:45,581
I don't know.
Something mindless.
312
00:14:45,582 --> 00:14:48,282
Something that'll distract us.
313
00:14:52,269 --> 00:14:53,890
Hey! Stop that!
314
00:14:53,891 --> 00:14:56,391
You get off her!
315
00:14:58,609 --> 00:15:01,188
See? This is good.
We're out of the house.
316
00:15:01,189 --> 00:15:04,339
We can think about
something else.
317
00:15:13,019 --> 00:15:16,126
So, the first
morning's urine...
318
00:15:19,249 --> 00:15:22,749
is that after midnight or do
you have to wait until morning?
319
00:15:22,750 --> 00:15:26,920
I don't know.
I think the sun has to be up.
320
00:15:27,130 --> 00:15:29,361
That doesn't make any sense.
What if you work a night job?
321
00:15:29,362 --> 00:15:32,121
All right, I don't know, Richard, okay?
I don't make the rules!
322
00:15:32,122 --> 00:15:33,641
- Well, I just...
- Guys, guys.
323
00:15:33,642 --> 00:15:35,699
We said we weren't
gonna talk about it.
324
00:15:35,700 --> 00:15:38,200
- Okay, sorry.
- Sorry.
325
00:15:41,771 --> 00:15:43,090
Hey.
326
00:15:43,091 --> 00:15:46,341
I found that cat
I thought I lost.
327
00:15:55,350 --> 00:15:57,850
It was under the bed.
328
00:16:01,802 --> 00:16:04,302
Not my bed, the guest bed.
329
00:16:05,731 --> 00:16:08,611
It's the only room with carpet.
330
00:16:09,601 --> 00:16:12,101
Cats love carpet.
331
00:16:16,679 --> 00:16:19,179
And milk.
332
00:16:20,041 --> 00:16:23,910
What else do cats like?
Let's go around the table.
333
00:16:23,911 --> 00:16:26,251
Oh, I can't believe
I might be pregnant!
334
00:16:26,252 --> 00:16:27,648
Yeah, we're so stupid!
335
00:16:27,649 --> 00:16:29,551
Oh, God,
I thought I was done with this.
336
00:16:29,552 --> 00:16:32,591
Now I got to worry about 3:00 a.m.
feedings and changing diapers.
337
00:16:32,592 --> 00:16:35,098
We finally had our lives separate,
in a good way.
338
00:16:35,099 --> 00:16:36,501
Then we go and screw it up.
339
00:16:36,502 --> 00:16:39,761
- We screw everything up.
- I know. We are such screwups.
340
00:16:39,762 --> 00:16:41,381
Why does this keep
happening to us?
341
00:16:41,382 --> 00:16:43,350
Hey, what the hell is
wrong with you two?
342
00:16:43,351 --> 00:16:46,101
So you might be having another kid.
Big deal.
343
00:16:46,102 --> 00:16:49,998
Making babies is the only
thing that you two do well.
344
00:16:49,999 --> 00:16:55,659
Now, let's focus and come up
with some things that cats like.
345
00:17:07,429 --> 00:17:08,997
Christine, you all
right up there?
346
00:17:08,998 --> 00:17:13,308
Stop talking to me. I can't go
when people are talking to me.
347
00:17:13,309 --> 00:17:15,809
Or listening to me.
348
00:17:16,498 --> 00:17:17,427
We're not.
349
00:17:17,428 --> 00:17:19,887
You're talking to me!
350
00:17:19,888 --> 00:17:22,388
Shut up and pee.
351
00:17:24,820 --> 00:17:25,948
This is torture.
352
00:17:25,949 --> 00:17:28,317
Just calm down.
You'll know in a minute.
353
00:17:28,318 --> 00:17:31,819
Actually, I kind of hope Christine
has a baby. I think it might be fun.
354
00:17:31,820 --> 00:17:34,047
That's easy for you to say;
you don't have to live here.
355
00:17:34,048 --> 00:17:35,848
All the late nights,
crying and screaming--
356
00:17:35,849 --> 00:17:39,419
the baby's only gonna
make that worse.
357
00:17:41,890 --> 00:17:44,139
Okay, I did it.
358
00:17:44,140 --> 00:17:47,360
And it's only wet because
I washed my hands.
359
00:17:47,361 --> 00:17:49,861
Is that true?
360
00:17:50,119 --> 00:17:52,619
No.
361
00:17:54,780 --> 00:17:57,219
- So what is it?
- I don't know. I haven't looked yet.
362
00:17:57,220 --> 00:17:58,389
But, listen,
363
00:17:58,390 --> 00:18:01,448
no matter what happens,
we're gonna be fine, right?
364
00:18:01,449 --> 00:18:02,487
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
365
00:18:02,488 --> 00:18:04,570
Yeah, we did it before,
we can do it again.
366
00:18:04,571 --> 00:18:06,178
We're just a little older.
367
00:18:06,179 --> 00:18:09,089
Yeah. When the baby graduates
high school, we'll be...
368
00:18:09,090 --> 00:18:11,590
Dead.
369
00:18:12,940 --> 00:18:15,387
Just trying to
lighten the mood.
370
00:18:15,388 --> 00:18:17,848
Come on, come on, look.
371
00:18:17,849 --> 00:18:20,349
Okay, here goes.
372
00:18:24,738 --> 00:18:27,238
I'm pregnant.
373
00:18:32,181 --> 00:18:34,705
Wow. Okay.
374
00:18:35,601 --> 00:18:38,018
- We're gonna be parents again.
- Yeah.
375
00:18:38,019 --> 00:18:39,697
- Good.
- Good.
376
00:18:39,698 --> 00:18:41,299
This is good.
377
00:18:41,300 --> 00:18:44,448
Yeah, we'll co-parent
from different houses.
378
00:18:44,449 --> 00:18:48,908
It worked with Ritchie,
it'll work for the twins.
379
00:18:48,909 --> 00:18:52,464
No... I know my body.
It's twins.
380
00:18:53,359 --> 00:18:55,298
This is gonna be great.
381
00:18:55,299 --> 00:18:58,589
- Wait, there's only one line.
- Yeah, pregnant.
382
00:18:58,590 --> 00:19:02,580
Well, when I took it,
I got one line, too.
383
00:19:07,821 --> 00:19:11,631
So, I mean,
either we're both pregnant...
384
00:19:12,121 --> 00:19:14,108
or you're wrong.
385
00:19:14,109 --> 00:19:15,200
Wait a minute.
386
00:19:15,201 --> 00:19:18,228
One line...
oh, "not pregnant." I'm not pregnant!
387
00:19:18,229 --> 00:19:22,465
- Oh, thank God!
- Thank God! Oh, my God!
388
00:19:22,470 --> 00:19:27,808
I mean, it would've been okay
either way, but... Oh, thank God!
389
00:19:27,809 --> 00:19:30,927
Oh, wow!
I guess I just had really bad PMS.
390
00:19:30,928 --> 00:19:32,870
- Really bad.
- Historically bad.
391
00:19:32,871 --> 00:19:35,429
- I've never seen it that bad.
- All right.
392
00:19:35,430 --> 00:19:38,770
All right, you know what?
Get out. You're all bugging me.
393
00:19:38,771 --> 00:19:40,368
I'm gonna go over
to New Christine's,
394
00:19:40,369 --> 00:19:43,160
but first, I'm gonna stop
and buy some condoms.
395
00:19:43,161 --> 00:19:46,151
Eh, she's probably
on something.
396
00:19:48,071 --> 00:19:50,088
Oh, I got to go, too.
397
00:19:50,089 --> 00:19:51,810
Where? It's 7:00
in the morning.
398
00:19:51,811 --> 00:19:54,691
There's something I have to do.
399
00:19:55,079 --> 00:19:56,947
So, after we added a room
onto the guest house,
400
00:19:56,948 --> 00:19:58,560
we realized it was bigger
than our main house.
401
00:19:58,561 --> 00:20:00,827
So now we're just moving
into the guest house.
402
00:20:00,828 --> 00:20:02,529
What are you gonna do
with the main house?
403
00:20:02,530 --> 00:20:04,019
You mean the house in Maine?
404
00:20:04,020 --> 00:20:05,739
I didn't know you
had a house in Maine.
405
00:20:05,740 --> 00:20:08,940
Well, I don't tell
you everything.
406
00:20:09,438 --> 00:20:11,478
Ah, look what the
cat dragged in.
407
00:20:11,479 --> 00:20:15,057
If my cat dragged that in,
I'd put them both to sleep.
408
00:20:15,058 --> 00:20:18,004
Screw... you.
409
00:20:22,951 --> 00:20:25,451
Morning.
410
00:20:25,539 --> 00:20:28,168
Mrs. Campbell.
What are you doing here?
411
00:20:28,169 --> 00:20:31,968
Well, um...
I've been thinking about our date.
412
00:20:31,969 --> 00:20:35,088
In fact, it's all I've been thinking
about for the last six months.
413
00:20:35,089 --> 00:20:38,789
And if you still want
to go out with me, I would...
414
00:20:38,790 --> 00:20:42,459
I would very much like
to go out with you.
415
00:20:42,460 --> 00:20:44,359
Really?
416
00:20:44,360 --> 00:20:46,860
Oh, yeah.
417
00:20:57,559 --> 00:21:00,059
How 'bout that?
418
00:21:00,390 --> 00:21:02,636
Pretty good, huh?
419
00:21:02,637 --> 00:21:05,182
Yeah. Really good.
420
00:21:05,189 --> 00:21:08,629
Should we ask them
what they thought?
421
00:21:13,179 --> 00:21:15,925
So, um, Mr. Harris, you just,
422
00:21:15,928 --> 00:21:19,479
you let me know what you
would like to do then.
423
00:21:19,480 --> 00:21:25,483
And, um... everyone...
you have a super summer.
424
00:21:27,449 --> 00:21:29,608
Yeah.
425
00:21:29,609 --> 00:21:32,109
Can't... get out of here.
32005
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
