All language subtitles for I.Want.You.Back.2022

…down hard,
and I swallowed really quickly,

and half the mozzarella stick
got lodged,

And the other one was still in my hand
with the connecting cheese,

and I had to have the Heimlich.

It was, like…
ruined the whole bat mitzvah.

Hi. Can I get another
Lover's Punch, please?

- Mm-hmm.
- Thank you.

Mmm. Mmm-mmm-mmm.

These pancakes are bonkers.

Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm.

- Mmm.
- Mmm.

Have some of my steak.

- Great source of iron.
- Thank you, baby.

And, you know, you can
cook this at home really easily.

So you should do it a lot 'cause you never
remember to take your iron pills.

And your levels are… are really low.

Okay, what is this?

Like, are you trying to be the cutest,
sweetest, nicest boyfriend in the world?

Because… you're really winning.

Emma, I'm breaking up with you.

- Lover's Punch? Mm-hmm.
- Thank you.

- You okay?
- I want to spit it out.

I'm a hungry monster,
and I eat birthday boys!

- Mom, you did a great job, really.
- Aw, thank you, honey.

I'm glad you like it.
Everything for Toby, you know.

That little boyfriend of yours
really is good with kids, Annie.

You can't escape me, Toby!

- Hey.
- Hey.

Hey, uh, Anne, have you seen
your nephew Toby anywhere?

I can't find this kid.

- Uh…
- I'm up here, Uncle Peter.

I mean, I want to give him
his birthday present and all, but I think

- maybe he split the party or…?
- Up here.

I mean, I just can't find him.
Do you have any idea where he is…

He's on your shoulders, Peter.

Oh, yeah?

Oh, hey. Hi.

There he is.

All right, bud, go, go mingle.

It's your… your big day.

Is everything okay? You seem upset.

Me?

Ha. Yeah. No, everything's fine.

Everything's fine.

Okay, well, y-you're clearly not fine.

I mean, look, you just started

full-on crying out of nowhere.

Let's just not talk about it right here,
Peter, okay?

- Okay.
- Okay. Good.

I feel like, whatever it is,
you can just tell me.

Uh, it's gonna be weird
to go back to the party.

- You're crying.
- I want to break up with you.

What?!

Don't we have a really good time together?

We do. It's just not enough.

I… I'm ready for the next chapter
in my life, and…

You're still figuring a lot out.

Like what?

Your roommates are college students.

Okay. But they're very mature people.

And they're prelaw.
They're practically lawyers.

You also don't even know
what you want to do with your life.

I… I think I'm just kind of,
like, doing it.

29 is the new 16.

You're 32.

Yeah, I mean, if you want to be,
like, a scientist about it, I'm 32.

Look, I met someone.

Why didn't you just say that
instead of making me eat your steak?

I mean, this just makes no sense.
It's completely out of nowhere.

Oh, no, it's not.

I have been unhappy for a while, Peter.

Really? You have? I mean…

- Yes. Yes.
- You never said anything.

We're stuck.

No, what-what do we do?

We go to work and we make salmon
and we watch Dancing with the Stars.

Oh, come on. I…

We do stuff. We went to Wind Creek Casino
to see Rod Stewart.

Okay.

I was never supposed to be
an English teacher, Peter.

My sense memory professor said
I could've been the next Kate Winslet.

- You still could be.
- Not with you.

- God.
- Oh, Peter, that's not... I didn't…

I mean, that is a really specific
and hurtful thing to say.

- Not with me?
- I'm sorry, but it's true.

Okay.

You're very…

Complacent, and it makes me complacent.

And I really wanted a big life.

Yeah, I wanted to study
commedia dell'arte in Florence,

and I wanted to do Shakespeare
at the Globe in London.

Six years and we've never even been
out of the country together.

- But we did go see…
- Don't say Rod Stewart.

So, this new girl, is she, like,
really together or something?

I-I guess so.

I mean, she has this little pie shop
down the street from my gym and…

Cute.

I don't know why that matters.

What?

I'm sorry, Peter.

You are the last person in the world
I want to hurt.

I should…

I should probably get back downstairs.

Well, do you mind if I stick around long
enough to sing "Happy Birthday" to Toby?

Peter, I don't think that's a good idea.

I promise I can keep it together.

It's probably just at a red light.

Uh…

Oh, man, and…

Okay, so he just canceled.

- It's… okay.
- Oh.

- I-I'll wait around for the next one.
- No, please don't.

It's fine. You can just leave.

Uh…

I just... I don't want you
to break up with me.

I love you.

I'm sorry, Emma.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

You want one? Smoothie?

I can do it.

See?

This is why you call movers.

Look at that.

Come take a look.

- Hey!
- Huh? Look at this.

Oh, my…

Aw.

What do you know about that?!

- I got the ball!
- Right?!

- Emma?
- Yeah?

We're watching TV.

Two more minutes.

Damn it!

Oh, God.

Good morning, Dr. McMillan.

Morning, Chloe.

Happy Monday, folks.

Okay.

Let's talk about increasing profit margins

for our residential dining program.

These people are on death's door,

and we are spending
way too much money feeding them.

Who has pitches?

We could stop offering ice.

How would their drinks be cold?

They wouldn't.

Okay. I like it.

I think we need something bigger.

Who else has something?

We could replace our real chicken

with a much cheaper new product
called Hint of Chicken.

What the hell
is Hint of Chicken?

The name's
pretty self-explanatory, ma'am.

Can you liquefy it
and sip it through a straw?

- Yes, ma'am.
- You can gum it?

No teeth required.

- Is it a protein?
- It's protein adjacent.

Does it need to be refrigerated?

- 'Cause I think we're gonna give up ice.
- Yeah.

- Shelf life is stable.
- What the fuck?!

Peter, are you okay?

Uh, yeah.

Uh… excuse me for one second. I j...

I'm sorry, I j... I just get really upset
when I-I think about how much money

we're-we're spending on
feeding old people, all right?

So maybe I'll just step outside
and-and get some fresh air

because I just don't know
who the fuck this guy is.

All right.

Let me see.

- I hate them. I look so ugly.
- Amy, Amy, stop.

Listen, you're so beautiful.

All the braces in the world
couldn't change how much I love you.

I love you more.

Not possible.

You're an adult… in a workplace.

Get it together.

Hello?

Hello?

Is everything okay?

Oh, I'm fine. I'm just, um…

…the fire marshal of the floor.

So I have to check the stairway
for obstacles,

but obviously there aren't any,
so we're all clear.

Be safe out there.

- All right. All right, uh…
- Have a good day.

So that is great.

Well, hang on one second. I'm sorry.

Uh, you have mascara
pretty much all over your whole face.

Is that so?

Oh, indeed.

Thank you so much.

Waterproof, my ass.

Oh.

You actually have, like,
a piece of toilet paper or something.

- Oh. Do I really?
- Other side.

- There. Yes.
- Oh.

Got it.

Mm-hmm.

Having a rough week.

Me, too.

Just got dumped.

Oh, me, too.

Oh, yeah?

That's weird.

It's terrible.

Do you want to talk about it?

Um…

Okay.

- Okay.
- That's, um,

that's interesting.

S-Step into my office.

All right.

I'm Peter.

I-I'm a VP at
Mariposa Retirement Homes on 11.

I'm Emma, and I'm the receptionist
at McMillan Orthodontics…

…on 14 here.

Hey, um, I don't really smoke,
but I bought these last night.

It just kind of seemed like
the thing that people do.

Oh. Yeah, they do.

- Yeah, you were right to buy them.
- Uh, would you like one?

Well, back when I was the fire marshal,
I would've said that that's not allowed.

No, but yeah.

Okay. Here you go.

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

My boyfriend's name was Noah.

Um, we were together for 18 months.

That's the longest relationship
I've ever been in.

I think I'm gonna put this out.

- I was waiting for you to...
- Thanks for the offer.

I don't see the appeal.

Mm.

Anne and I were together for… six years.

- Holy shit.
- Yeah, I know.

And I wanted to get married.

- Have kids, all that.
- Mm.

But, uh, you know,
she wanted to be an artist

and, I guess, drink wine
with some fuck-wad in a Fonzie jacket.

I really don't know what…

Noah wants a woman who owns a pie shop.

I love pie.

I'm sorry I just said that.

I probably shouldn't have said that.

It's cool. Everyone loves pie.

Pie's actually not that great.

It's very... there's very limited options
when it comes to pie.

- Okay.
- This was awkward.

- Very.
- Uh…

- Have a nice day and… uh…
- So get back there and make it happen.

So you want to…

Dying alone is not that bad.

Like, why do you want someone
to watch you die?

- That's, like, actually embarrassing.
- That's right.

Dying alone's actually g... pretty sweet

'cause you're all alone
and no one's bothering you.

Bomb.

I love being single.

I'm really looking forward to it.

All the apps, getting on the apps.

- Yeah.
- That's gonna be cool.

Swipe left, swipe right, who's ugly.

I dedicate this to my freaking self!

PETER and EMMA:
Joy!

Oh, yeah, Joy!

This is the chorus.
You want to jump in on this with me?

- I want to call Noah.
- Yeah.

Wh-What? No.

- Yeah, because it's, like…
- No, no.

-Oh, wh… hey, it fell all
the way right… -No. No.

Oh.

Sir, I need you to return that phone.

No, no, no, no, no.

- I need to have it back.
- Okay, listen to me.

They dumped us, right?

If they miss us, they'll call.

But they're never
gonna miss us if we call,

so we can't call
if we want them to miss us or call.

- Huh?
- I don't know.

I feel like Anne's just going through
something right now,

but any minute, she's gonna realize
she made a terrible mistake,

and then she's gonna take me back.

And I bet Noah will, too.

Yeah, I bet he definitely would
if I called him right now.

All right, look.

What about this?

It's a good plan.

- Hear me out.
- Mm-hmm.

How about, whenever we're feeling
like we really have to call them

- and we just can't take it anymore…
- Mm-hmm?

…Instead of calling our exes,
let's call each other.

Mm! I love that.

- Yeah?
- I love it

because we're intercepting
each other's sadness.

- Yes.
- Yes.

We're each other's sadness sisters.

Well, "Sadness Sisters" sounds like
you're Diane Keaton and I'm Meryl Streep

and we're in a Broadway play,
but I like it, yeah.

That's a great cast.

You should cast plays.

You again?

Okay, ready?

What is the minimum sentence
for first-degree assault

of persons blind, disabled or pregnant?

- Five years?
- Excellent.

- Very nice, babe. Good job.
- Mm.

Good job, babe.

Morning, roomies.

Oh. Oh, God.

Is that a piece of Cinnamon Toast Crunch
in your hair?

- No, on the other side. Yeah.
- Oh.

So it is.

Another correct answer.

Eagle eyes.

Proceed.

Uh, just a quick reminder.

We're having this study group
over on Saturday, you know,

just in case you wanted to… not be here.

Oh, young man,

maybe I'll just stay here
in the apartment that I pay to live at,

but who knows?

Who knows?

Land this thing!

Where the hell is The Virus?

Thanks for meeting me.

That's what
the Sadness Sisters are for, right?

Oh, yeah!

Want a Raisinet?

Don't be sad.

This isn't a sad movie, okay?

Nic Cage is gonna survive in the end.
We're not…

Thanks a lot.

Oh, I'm sorry, sir. Sorry about that.

Movie's, like, 25 years old.
I didn't think I could spoil it.

I'm not sad because of the movie.

I'm sad because Noah was
my airplane safety mask person.

Your what?

My airplane safety mask person.

What is that?

Have you ever been on an airplane
and they play that video that says,

"Please secure your own oxygen mask
before helping others"?

Yeah, that's every airplane I've been on.

Well, I remember, when I was little,

thinking that,
if I were ever really in love

- and I was on an airplane with my lover…
- Hmm.

…that I would put his mask on
before my own.

When you were little, you used
the word "lover" in your thoughts?

Well, that's not the point.

- Well, it's kind of ridiculous…
- No.

…because you always put
your own mask on first.

No, you don't.

You're actually more helpful to others

once you're getting
a steady flow of oxygen to your brain.

- Oh, that's just…
- It's just logical, right?

You're actually putting your "lover"

- at greater risk…
- Why did you do that?

- Would you two shut the fuck up?
- …by not putting on your mask. Sorry.

By not putting
your own mask on first, so…

No, but it's not about that.

- It's about romance.
- I don't mean for it not…

It would be immediate that I can't…

- It's all true.
- Yeah.

All right.

You want to have lunch tomorrow?

Uh, yeah.

Yeah, that sounds nice. Let's do it.

- Okay.
- All right. See ya.

- Bye.
- Bye.

This is what I need.

I just need to see
what's happening with him,

and then…

- All right, let's just do it, right?
- Yeah.

Let's just rip off the Band-Aid and look.

- Let's just do it. Let's just do it.
- You got it. Okay, here we go.

Oh, my God.

Oh, no.

- Jesus, this is, this is bad.
- Why?

This pie girl is really pretty.

Look at her muffins.

She looks like
she's really good at her job.

And look at her with my boyfriend.

They look so happy.

Hey, guys. I just wanted
to show you these pies I made

for Chrissy Teigen
and John Legend's anniversary party.

This is like a mean prank.

I can't take it with this guy.

Look at that bio.

"Logan Santos.

Artist. Director. Human."

Oh, you're a human man?

- Wow.
- Dude, that's awesome. What's that like?

I bet he's a chill hang.

"Come help paint sets for
Andrews Middle School production

- of Little Shop of Horrors."
- Oh.

Is he 14?

Andrews Middle School,
that's… that's Anne's school.

So… so this guy is the drama teacher
at her school? Really?

Really? This is her living a-a big life?

Leaving me for
a middle school drama teacher?

Ooh, she commented on
this picture of him drinking coffee.

What'd she say?

Ugh, you don't want to know.

I think I do want to know.
What did... what did she write?

He's just drinking coffee
and it's, like…

- Well…
- …that kind of content.

- See, I feel like you're trying to protect me.
- I am.

But that's actually...
It's making it worse.

- Now I have to know what she says.
- No, you don't.

- Come on. Let me... Can I…
- It's just, like, not... It's not.

- It's not. It doesn't matter.
- May…

- I don't... It's a... Okay.
- Come on.

She wrote kissy face,
kissy face, coffee cup.

Yeah, it's, like, stupid.

Oh, and he wrote,
"I miss you. Come back to bed."

- Wow, I…
- I'm sorry.

So she's, like, fully
in a new relationship.

Uh…

I can't do this.

I-I can't start over, you know?

I'm-I'm too old.

I'm too old. I missed the boat.

All my friends,
they're married, they got kids.

- My one friend Dave, he's got a 12-year-old son.
- Mm.

Dave has a kid who's old enough
to have his own kid.

You think 12 years old
is old enough to have a kid?

I'm not saying it'd be a good idea.

I'm just saying Cody's
definitely gone through puberty,

- so his body's definitely producing semen.
- No.

- Biologically speaking, yeah, the semen's there.
- No, no.

- I need you to stop talking about…
- The babies are…

Don't do that.

The point is, at this rate,
I'm gonna wind up old and alone.

I'm gonna have no grandkids.

I'm gonna be eating Hint of Chicken

in one of the hellhole nursing homes
I helped create.

Oh, me, too.

I'm never gonna find a man
as kind and good as Noah.

Yeah.

He was the love of my life.

A-Anne is the love of mine.

And I feel like
I'm still the love of hers.

You know?

We can't give up.
We have to get them back.

What?

It's just like you said.

- We know that we're supposed to be with Noah and Anne.
- Mm.

But I'm not so sure
that they're gonna realize it,

not with these shiny new people around.

So what are we supposed to do?

We have to…

We have to break them up.

Well, that's crazy. We can't do that.

How would we do that?

What if we follow Ginny around, right?

And-and we discover
all her dirty little secrets,

and then we slip them to Noah in, like,
an unmarked envelope or something.

What if she doesn't have any?

Then we create some, right?

Little Photoshop makes it look like
Ginny does fracking.

Oh, I would never date someone
if they did fracking.

Right? Yeah, no, me neither.

- What is fracking?
- I don't know, actually.

I could tell Noah
that I'm pregnant with his baby.

All right. How's that help me?

You tell Anne
she's pregnant with your baby.

All right, what if we do this?

All right, hear me out.

We send Noah a note from Ginny that says,
"Meet me at my grandmother's cabin

for a weekend of fishing,
maybe a little bit of fun."

But when he gets there, you are there,

-and you're lying naked
on a bearskin rug… -Oh.

…and you say,

"I knew you'd come."

What?

But he didn't know what he was coming to.

Mm, yeah, but it doesn't matter, right?

Because you seduce him very quickly before
he has a chance to get back to his car.

Which I guess would be pretty quick.

Okay, all right, you know, we'll file
this one under "work in progress."

Well, there is something there.

There is something there, right?
To the cabin.

No, the cabin is nothing.

I could seduce Logan.

- Whoa.
- And then Anne would find out

and she would get so upset of course,
and she would dump him

because she would be like,
"Whoa, I miss my ex-boyfriend."

- Me.
- "He was so nice and sweet,

and we had six years
and he never cheated on me once."

No, that's true. I never did.

And don't think I didn't have
my chances, you know?

- I don't.
- My dry cleaner was super into me,

- um, until she died of natural causes.
- Uh…

But, um, do you really think
you can seduce Logan?

I mean, I don't want to brag,
but, um, in high school,

I once kissed my married gym teacher.

And his wife was really hot, so…

Oh, no.

And it was, like, a whole thing.

Um, let's move past that.

All right, and then I could, too...

I could steal Ginny away from Noah.

Wh… Why are you laughing?

I'm not... I don't think I was laughing.
I…

You don't, you don't think I could do it?

I... Have you seen Noah,
what he's like and everything?

- Yes.
- Oh, okay.

I mean, yeah,
he's a classically handsome guy,

but I-I, uh, I, uh, I offer a lot.

I think that you are somebody

that a person could fall
very deeply in love with.

Thank you?

- But it's more like slowly.
- Mm-hmm.

Over five or six months.

Okay.

Or like a year.

Two years tops.

Do you realize the number's going up?

Okay, I don't think
that you can get to Ginny.

You've made that perfectly clear.

But I do think that you could
become Noah's friend.

I could do that.

I mean, people like to be my friend.
I'm extremely affable.

You know, in college, all the girls
were like, "You're such a good friend."

Aw, darn it.

But-but-but the point is
people like to be my friend.

- Right.
- I get in his head.

You... that's exactly right.

You get in his head, and then you make him
realize that Ginny isn't that great.

- She's not that great.
- Yeah.

And that I am the one that got away.

Hey, do you really think we can do this?

- Yes, I do.
- I'm in if you're in.

I will seduce Logan,
you will friendship seduce Noah,

- and we will win back our people.
- All right.

It's on. Mm!

Look at us.

This is like Cruel Intentions,
only sexier.

How is it sexier?

It's not.

Uh, Steven, let's try the blue gel.
Think Last Tango in Paris.

Thank you.

Uh, Steph, Steph,
I was thinking more of a turquoise.

You're-you're using robin's egg.

Um, I know that you're 12,
but we got to get it together, please.

Hi. Uh, am I in the right place?

Oh, uh, are you here to volunteer?

I am.

- Hi. I'm Emma.
- Hi.

- Uh, Logan.
- Hi.

Um, which-which kid is yours?

Oh, no. I'm much too young.

And frickin' single.

Oh, I see.

- And, um, I saw your post on the Internet.
- Okay.

And, um, strangely,
I was in Little Shop, um, in high school.

- No way.
- Couple years ago.

You don't say. Who did you play?

Guess.

Audrey.

Yes.

I knew it.

And I just thought, "You know what?
I'm gonna take a risk,

and in that risk, I'm also gonna try
to give back to my community."

- Mm.
- And that's kind of where I was when I...

But also, that's weird.

If I'm just being, like, a weirdo...
Sometimes I just, like...

- I'm so impulsive and spontaneous…
- No.

- …and have sort of this big energy.
- No, no, no, no. Hey, no.

You're not weird at all.

You know what that is? That's admirable.

Thank you. That's really generous.

What do you do here?

Oh. I am the director.

Oh.

God, I feel so… that's… wow.

It's-it's actually
my-my first year teaching.

- Uh-huh.
- I was doing experimental theater before, back in New York and…

Ooh, New York City?

- Yeah, in the Big Apple.
- Wow.

Uh, hey, hey, hey!
That paint is for spraying, not huffing.

- Whuh-oh. Party time.
- These kids.

- Sorry, I have to go deal with this.
- No.

But why don't you jump onto
our papier-mâché team?

Oh, that's so beautiful.

- It's a little French. Um…
- Yeah, yeah. I heard that.

- But so good to have you, Emma.
- Oh.

Guys, guys, come on. We talked about this.

So am I for real doing papier-mâché?

Hey, man. Peter?

- Yeah.
- Hey, Noah.

Hi. Hi. Nice to meet you.

Hell. Ooh.

Wow, that's a firm handshake
you got there.

- We'll get you firm.
- Uh-oh.

- You ready?
- Uh, sure.

- Good. Let's go to my office.
- Oh, okay.

We're gonna strip you down,
get some befores.

Uh, okay. Uh, that's...

Wait. We're gonna what?

All right, you ready?

- Uh…
- Pop that shirt off.

I'd rather not. I…

- Come on. Pop it off.
- No, no. I just...

Maybe I'll just describe
what's happening to you and-and…

I'll tell you what.
I'll take mine off, too.

That's not gonna help me at all.

- You're funny.
- Yeah.

Let's talk about anything
other than my body right now.

Uh, who's this?
You know, who-who you got here?

- Oh, that's my girl Ginny. Yeah.
- Oh, yeah?

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

- Girl pal or girl…?
- No, no, girlfriend.

Girlfriend? Oh, yeah.

And her little baby Pomegranate.

All right, last chance
before we hit the floor.

- Uh, yeah, I'm not taking my shirt off.
- No. -Come on.

- All right, we'll get some anyways. One…
- Ah, I feel trapped!

- …two. There we go.
- I don't like this!

Keep your knees above your feet.

All right.
Well, where else would they be?

So, uh, so you and-and this Ginny,

uh, uh, you guys been together
a long time or what's your deal?

No, no.

Well, I was in something serious,
and... I don't know...

- Now this is sort of a surprise, but… Come on.
- Oh.

- Oh, okay.
- Keep pushing.

-So, so really this is just
like a meaningless… -Come on.

…rebound kind of a, kind of a thang.

No, m-more, more like... I don't know.

We-We've known each other for a while,
and, you know, well, just kind of clicked.

- Oh.
- Come on. What was that?

- Uh, okay.
- Really?

But, yeah, she's the kind of girl
I could see going the distance with.

What about your ex?

I mean, did you ever imagine,
you know, going the distance with her?

Not exactly.

No, she... you know, she's great.

Really funny.

Was she funny? See, that's...

It's-it's important to remember
those things, you know?

She just couldn't
get her act together.

- Ah, could she not?
- So it's a bummer.

Come on.

Yeah, push.

Push from your core, from within.

- That's gravity taking over now.
- Okay.

- That's... I'm going straight down.
- Yeah.

Single.

Switch up the rhythm. Solo, single.

Oh, my goodness, what are you looking at?

Whose mom are you?

- Nobody's.
- Then why are you here?

You some kind of pervert?

No, I'm not.

I'm here because
I love musical theater, okay?

Why are you here, narc?

Work detention.

Ooh. What did you do?

I put the class gerbil in a blender.

- Oh, my God!
- Not really.

Skipped science for a week.

And they're making you
do this plant thing?

Ooh, the education system
in this country is a hot mess.

Woo-hoo! All my Skid Rowers.

- Come get hats and scarves.
- Nice.

There's plenty for everyone.

- Hey.
- All right, slow down. Slow down.

What's the deal with her?

That's Miss Rivera.

She teaches English.

She does the costumes for the play
'cause she's banging Mr. Santos.

Oh, how do you know that?

Uh, Trevor, don't skimp
on the glue, please.

Thank you.

Yeah, Trevor, don't skimp on the glue.

I got to take five.

- Hey, Logan.
- Yes?

Am I doing this right?
Because I just feel like it's so wet.

I-I think if you just
take your two fingers…

- Like... yeah. Okay.
- Yes, just like that.

- Yeah, you can... okay.
- And then we'll just let it drip out.

- Oh, thank you.
- Let it drip, yeah.

- Just-just... yeah.
- I don't think we've met. Hi.

- Oh.
- Oh.

Emma, this is Anne.

She's one of our English teachers here
and our costume mistress

and the mistress of my heart.

Uh…

This is Emma.

She came to help even though
she doesn't have a kid here.

Isn't that cool?

- It's definitely something.
- Right?

But, I mean, who wouldn't want
to help at a school musical?

So fun.

Fun?

It's more than just fun.

- Well, I was…
- You know, it's actually

really impactful, I would say.

It's serious.

You are exposing these young minds
to the power of theater.

Yeah, that's what I meant.

You know how serious
I take this production.

Yes, sorry. You're right, you're right.

I'm-I'm a, I'm a little tense.

Maybe I should've just done
The Music Man like everyone said.

Stop it.

I love that you're pushing the envelope.

Maybe we can open a bottle of Barolo
and talk about it tonight.

- I'd love that.
- Okay.

They seemed really into each other
but kind of in that way that's like,

"These people also
might murder each other."

- Oh, really?
- Yeah.

So I volunteered for
a bunch more rehearsals.

I really think I can break them up
in, like, no time.

Ah, nice.

So what's he like?

- Logan… Logan's a lot.
- Really?

It's like, um, "You're actually directing
a middle school play, sir…"

- Yeah.
- "…not a production of, like…"

Can't think of a fancy play?

Is the movie Titanic based on a play?

- Mm, it's based on a ship.
- Yeah, I don't, uh…

Tell me about Noah.

Right. Um…

Well, I see why you like him.

I mean, the guy looks like a superhero.

Uh, he's charming, he's, um…

I know all of this about him.

That's why I'm trying to, like…

- These are all things you know, huh? Um…
- Yeah, I just want to know, like,

did he say that he missed me
or something like that?

You know what he said?

He said that no one has ever
made him laugh like you did.

- Ugh.
- No, in a very positive way.

- Like…
- Funny girl.

- I would focus on the good.
- Oh, my God!

Oh, my God, that feels so good!

- Okay, don't be alarmed…
- I'm not.

…but I believe there are people
having sex in your apartment.

- Yeah, I share that belief.
- What is that?

- It's my roommates.
- What are you talking about?

- You live with a couple?
- Yes, I do.

I live with a couple of
broke college students who are in love,

and I can't pay for
this whole place myself, so…

You ever think about
getting a smaller place, you know?

- Something just for you?
- Yeah, sometimes.

It's like we're the only people

- in the world right now.
- Oh, you are.

I did not mean to live here so long.

I moved in my sophomore year of college.

- I was gonna move out on graduation.
- Okay.

- And then my dad got sick again, and…
- Oh.

So I took the semester off
to kind of, like…

I'm sorry, I-I didn't know
your dad is sick.

Uh, he was sick.
He had cancer for most of my life.

Oh, that feels so good.

And then he died.

- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God!

Here it comes! Here comes my love!

- Where do you want my love?!
- Oh, my God, everywhere!

My God!

That sounded like the finale.

- Yeah.
- And so what happened then?

Y-You never wanted to go back
and finish school?

Yeah, I did.

I just thought I would figure out
what I wanted to do with my life,

and then I guess I never did.

Oh.

- Oh, whoa. I didn't know you guys were home.
- Oh.

Didn't know we had an audience.

I didn't hear a thing.
Did you hear anything?

- For... when?
- I didn't hear a thing, guys,

so you're-you're good.

Just out here chomping chips.

Gonna go get water.

- Mm.
- Mm.

So that's the crew.

Yeah, it's time to move.

Push.

Whoa!

…five, six…

…seven, six…

- Oh.
- Oh.

- My God. Sorry.
- Oh, my gosh. No. Oh, yeah, I got it.

Oh.

Oh, wow. Great book.

Yeah. It's one of my faves.

Oh. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Don't get crazy on me, buddy.

…two, one. Done.

Yes!

Oh, you got a…

Oh!

Oh, shit, he followed you!

All right!

Yeah.

Yeah, good. Doing great.

- All right.
- Come on, keep pushing.

- Uh-oh. He did it!
- Yeah, boy.

Seven minutes! Yes!

- Oh, hey, buddy.
- Oh, thank you, man!

I never could've done that without you.
Thank you so much.

- I just believed in you, buddy.
- Yeah.

How far away is
your girlfriend's pie shop?

'Cause I'd love to try one of those
healthy quiches you were telling me about.

- That's a good idea.
- Yeah?

- We got to fuel this body up.
- Hey, yeah, let's fuel up.

It's only three or four more miles.

- Come on, let's go.
- Yeah.

On foot?

That can't be right.

Hey, man.

You okay?

Yeah.

My dad was supposed to pick me up,
but he probably forgot.

Oh.

Bummer.

Uh… I can give you a ride home.

Okay.

But just to be clear, I'm a safe person.

Normally, you shouldn't get in a car
with any, like, random adult,

especially if they tell you
that they're safe.

That's usually a sign
that they're not safe at all.

I mean, the first time
I went to a boy-girl sleepover,

it was at my friend Sarah's house.

And this boy Jonathan
brought all these videos,

and they played the scariest movie,
and then I had to call my mom

and tell her she forgot
to take me to the orthodontist,

but it was like 9:30 p.m. at night.

What are you doing?

Want a cig?

No, I don't want a cig.

And why do you even have cigs?

Aren't you like nine years old?

No, I'm in seventh grade.

I'm 12.

Are you stupid?

Okay.

You know what?

I get that being a kid is hard.

I really do get that.

You're greasy, you're horny…

I'm not greasy. You're greasy.

Ah-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba.

Let me just tell you,
I don't know you well,

but I feel like your whole
"I'm over the world" attitude

is maybe a little bit more than
just normal tween angst.

What's up?

My dad is having an affair.

Oh.

With a research librarian named Bruce.

Okay, so let me guess.

The dumb-ass kids in your class are
making fun of you for having a gay dad.

- No, my dad's always been gay.
- Oh, yeah.

- He cheated on my other dad.
- Of course.

He keeps trying to have
these deep talks with me about it,

but I'm just like, "Fuck you, Dad.

- Why don't you go do blowjobs on Bruce."
- Oh.

Okay, well, first of all,
you don't do blowjobs.

No.

Being in love
is-is very complicated,

and if your dad really does
love this man Bruce, then…

You wouldn't get it.

Your dad probably loves
having sex with your mom.

Mm… well, my dad's dead,

so he doesn't really have much sex
with anyone these days.

Except for angels maybe.

If he's lucky.

- I'm sorry.
- It's okay.

Can I tell you a little secret
about being an adult?

We're all just pretending
that we know what we're doing,

and we're hoping that
we don't screw it up too badly,

and then we're feeling really shitty
about ourselves when we do.

So…

…why don't you cut
your gay dad some slack

and, um, maybe try talking to him.

- That's my street.
- Okay.

But could you keep driving
a little longer?

Mm-hmm.

Yes!

Good work, buddy.

Oh, my God.

Whew.

That was way… way further than you said.

…tart, and I threw in
a chocolate cream mini pie

- just for you.
- Hey.

- Hi, babe.
- Ooh.

- You look nice.
- Thank you.

Uh, this is Peter, my new client.

And also my new buddy.

Oh, nice. Hi. I'm Ginny.

Oh, hey.

- Nice to meet you.
- You, too.

We were just in the neighborhood.

Thought we'd try
one of those keto quiches.

- Ah. Okay.
- I got to eat right now, you know,

'cause he's trying to turn my body
from a ectomorph into a megamorph.

Mesomorph.

- Oh, a mesomorph. Right. Okay.
- Right?

You guys want to grab a seat
and I'll get you something?

- Sure.
- Thank you.

Oh, buddy.

- Whew! That was a big run.
- Gonna be okay?

No.

- This place is, um, really nice.
- Yeah.

All righty, here we go.

- Hey, thanks, babe.
- That is spinach and gruyere

- with an almond flour crust.
- Oh, my God.

Okay, this looks amazing. I'm gonna…

Wo... Wow.

- You're telling me this is good for me?
- Yes, sir.

- I don't believe it.
- Thanks.

- Yeah.
- Um, great to meet you, Peter,

but I have got to get back to work.

- Nice to meet you as well. Yeah.
- Thanks, babe. -Mm-hmm.

Wow, huh. Yeah.

- She's impressive, huh?
- Mm-hmm.

What about you?

- You have a girlfriend?
- I did for a long time.

But, um, she kind of ended things
with me recently.

Oh, I'm sorry. Are you okay?

Uh, no, not really.

It's... I just wasn't expecting it,

so it's just a big adjustment, I guess.

Yeah. That's a bummer, man.

Yeah. Thanks.

Well, you know what they say.

You got to get back on the whores.

Uh, I feel like you just said "whores."

Yeah. Get back on the whores.

Oh, no, well, the expression is "horse."

Get back up on the horse.

- No.
- Oh, yeah, it is.

Why would you fuck a horse?

You know, we... move past it.

- But I get your point. Yeah.
- Yeah.

I think, uh, it's an older expression,
too, so…

Um… yeah, just... I don't know.

I'm not ready for all that, but…

Unless... I don't know
how you feel about this,

but maybe you and I could
go out together sometime,

like, 'cause I bet you're a great wingman.

Dude, I'm a great wingman.

- Yeah.
- Yeah. Mm.

You been to Halo before?

- No. What is that?
- I'm taking you, bro.

- It's gonna be awesome.
- Oh, yeah?

Yeah. My buddy manages the place.

He can totally hook us up, bottle service.

- Oh, so it's like a club? Like a…
- Yeah.

Oh, that'd be nice.
I haven't been to a club in, uh, ever?

I've had a couple wild nights
there myself.

Uh, who would do that, like,
you and your ex or, like, uh…

Yeah, we've shut it down.

- You guys had some good times. Cool, mm.
- Uh-huh.

- Mm! Babe.
- Yeah?

You want to go to Halo
with us this weekend?

Blech. No. Absolutely not.

I need a shower
just thinking about that place.

But, you guys, go, have a guys' night.

Yeah.

- Guys' night. Yeah.
- Yeah, it's more fun anyway.

- You know, it's like, uh…
- It'll be cool.

Ooh, after this, we should, uh…

We should run back to the gym, you know?

Fuck no.

So I guess I'm gonna be a club guy now.

You know, for a scummy nightclub,
that place is actually shockingly fun.

- Yeah?
- Oh, yeah.

We used to be, like, the last two people
on the dance floor.

Oh, you know what's funny?
He said something just like that.

Yeah, that you supposedly, y-you guys
would shut it down or something like that.

- He did?
- Yeah.

And I think this could work, you know?

This is probably, like... it's just
what he needs to make him realize

how much he misses you.

And this dress is definitely
going to make Logan realize that

he wants to take me out after rehearsal
for some drinks and some smooching.

Okay, but won't Anne be at that rehearsal?

No. She has parent-teacher conferences.

- Look at you. Good work.
- Oh, yeah, man.

I'm a psycho.

Whoa.

What?

Um… uh, nothing.

You look really good. Yeah.

I mean, it looks great. Yeah.

I mean you look great.

I know.

Hey, what do we think about this, though?

Does this say "night at the club"?

Um… you look like Catwoman.

And who likes the rum raisin?

No one likes... I don't know.
I mean, a raisin?

- You're gonna put a raisin in your ice cream?
- Mm-mm.

Hey! Hey, watch where you're go...

Are you okay?

- Can I help you with this?
- Yeah.

- Here.
- Thank you.

Here.
There's a nice table over here, madame.

I see the perfect spot for you.
Look at this.

We got good natural light,
you know, we're away from the hooligans,

and look at these guys over here.

You can soak in the eye candy
while you eat.

- There you go.
- Thank you.

It's not too bright for you?
You all right?

- Oh, yeah.
- Okay.

What an unusual young man you are.

I was going for charming,
but I'll take unusual.

- Enjoy your lunch.
- Thank you.

You saved her from those skateboarders.

-That was… -I-I saved her
from the evil street hoodlums.

- You're adorable.
- Eh, I don't know.

I love old people.

- Oh, man.
- Which is actually deeply ironic

because I make a living
helping an evil corporation earn millions

by malnourishing
sweet, helpless grandparents.

That's kind of my gig, you know?

Why do you work there
if you hate it so much?

Well, it was supposed to be
temporary, you know.

I got… I got a master's degree
in public health,

and I was gonna revolutionize
the way this country treats their elderly,

but, you know, instead I took
the first job I was offered, and…

And I just stayed
because I was too chickenshit

to lose my cushy salary
and my good benefits.

Mm.

Sorry, hold on.

Your life dream was to revolutionize
the way that we treat old people?

I mean, both my parents
worked all the time,

and they'd stick me in my grandmother's
retirement home most days after school.

And we had fun, but it was sad in there.

You know? It was this ugly,
weird-smelling building

where all these old people with
incredible stories and so much wisdom,

you know, they eat terrible food,

they watch bad movies on basic cable,
and they wait to die.

- Oh, Jesus.
- I know, yeah.

So I decided one day
I would open my own retirement home.

Eh, some place that was, like,
affordable and cozy

but somewhere where you would
actually like to wake up every day.

That is so sweet and so weird.

Okay, I can't tell
if you're making fun of me.

- I'm not.
- Okay.

I like it. I-I love your dream.

Only I didn't do it, you know?

And I became a part of the problem.

Anne was right, you know? I…

I am stuck.

It's no wonder she broke up with me.

Peter, stop. Stop it.

- You're a total catch.
- Yeah?

I mean, I do believe
you said I'm the kind of guy

you could fall in love with
slowly after several years.

You know, was it a hundred years?

That's the best kind of guy, idiot.

Anyone can be a one-night bang.

But the slow burn
who gets under your skin,

that's way more rare.

That's your airplane safety mask person.

Okay.

So go get her.

- Ask her out.
- Think I got a chance?

Well, don't think too hard on it.

I don't think you have that much time.

So let's… let's get these.

We need a… We really need a plan, man.

- Oh, Logan, happy dress rehearsal.
- Hey.

Oh, Emma, thank God you're here.

I need a huge favor.

Anything.

Audrey and one of our spotlight operators
have been hooking up.

- Oh.
- Yeah.

And they gave each other pink eye.

- Oh.
- Yeah.

And so she's at home dealing with that.

It's our only rehearsal with the band.

You've seen this blocking so many times.

- You played her back in high school.
- Oh…

You could fill in. Please?

- Oh, no, no, no.
- Oh, please.

It's-it's really just for the music cues.

You can even hold the script.
It'll be fun.

I guess…

- Yes! Okay.
- Oh.

- Costume is backstage.
- No?

You are a lifesaver.

Thank you.

A costume?

What? Dude, how have I
never been to this place?

This is awesome, man!

I... Dude, I can't believe
Ginny's not into it, right?

Are you ready to give
all this up, you know?

Popping bottles with the boys,
grinding with the honeys.

Dude, this is gold.

Don't waste this on me.
We got to introduce you to some girls.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Want to take a shot?

Yeah?

- Why don't you with my buddy.
- Oh, no.

- Okay. All right. Uh, yeah.
- You two.

Hey. Cheers.

What's your name... Oh. All right.

And goodbye.

Is this one of those moments
of being a grown-up

where you realize you don't know
what you're doing with your life?

Oh, okay. It's...

Yes. Yes.

I called my dad.

It went all right.

Trevor, that's great.

He asked if we could have dinner,
but he said if I'm not ready yet,

that's cool, too.

Mm-hmm.

I think I'm gonna let him take me
to Olive Garden for ravioli night.

Oh, heck yeah, you are.

Oh, shit, I got to go move
the fucking plant.

So I'm gonna go home.

What? Hey there, stranger.

Hello? Noah?

- Don't give him that.
- Get a picture!

Noah? Hello?

- Emma?
- Hello?

Emma?

I think he got it.

- Emma?
- Noah?

Hey. Can you hear me?

- What?
- Hey.

Uh, sorry, I-I think I must've
pocket-dialed you while I was dancing.

Oh.

Oh, no.

That's so... I think I pocket-answered.

I'm at a dinner party.

- Cool.
- Uh, may I have a...

The signature cocktail this time?

Sorry, there's a mixologist here,
and it's… it's very fancy.

Oh, that's-that's cool. That sounds fun.

Uh, how are you doing?

Oh, um…

I'm fine.

- Doing really well.
- Awesome.

Um, look, I got to go.

We should really catch up soon.

Yeah, I would love that.

Okay.

Do you want to, like, make a time or-or...

Hello? Hello?

Are you okay?

Mind your business, Eric.

- Audrey, that's your cue.
- Huh?

On, you're... okay.

Just…

Are you... Is someone... Oh.

Um, should I…

Logan. Should…

This is literally what people have
nightmares about.

I can't take this.

Am I gonna sing this?

Oh, here?

I really needed that, I guess.

Okay, wow.

Um, everyone, let's-let's take five.

Um, you… Okay.

Um, Emma, that was, um…

Really weird.

Definitely not
what you were asking me to…

I was going to say it was
an amazingly powerful interpretation.

- Oh.
- Yes?

- Yes.
- You were channeling

all of Audrey's pain
and… and vulnerability.

It was beautiful.

Thank you so much.

Uh…

Would you like to have a drink after this
to celebrate how beautiful I just was?

Absolutely. I would love that.

Wow, great.

Let me text Anne,
see if she wants to join.

Yeah, well, I mean, she wasn't really part
of when I was beautiful before.

Damn.

You mind if I stick this...

I-I'm gonna steal your chair.

Oh, my God, I love this place!

It's crazy, you know?

I feel, like, Italian or something.

Yeah. You are so adorable.

- Ah, get out of here. Thanks.
- No, no.

You remind me of that little
singing, uh, cartoon gerbil.

Oh, what is his name?

Alvin the Chipmunk?

- Yes! Yes!
- Okay.

Oh, I love that little guy.

This bottle's dead.
Should we get another one?

No, this place is lame.
Let's get out of here.

Oh, well, okay, well, get home safe.
Nice meeting you and, uh…

No, no, no, no. She meant all of us.

Yeah, we can go back to our place.

Oh, yeah, uh… that sounds fun.

Let… let me talk that over
with my friend really quick just to…

- Okay. Okay.
- Okay.

Grab your things.

Uh…

What? What?

You got to go.

I'm gonna go, yeah.
What the hell are you talking about?

- You're gonna come with me, though, right?
- I can't.

- I shouldn't.
- Why not?

Well, you know, Ginny…

Come on, man.
You promised to be my wingman.

I can't go alone.

I won't let you do anything stupid.

I just... I need my wingman, right?

I'll do it for you. Let's go.

- We're in!
- But I got to be good.

- No, yeah. You're Mr. Good.
- Yes! -Yes?

Here he comes! We're in! Yeah!

So, after Virginia Woolf,
we're planning on going to Europe.

- Yes, yes.
- Ooh.

I've just been dying to study
commedia dell'arte in Florence.

- Oh.
- Oh, yes.

- I love, love, love Firenze.
- Yeah.

What a nice way to say that.

- The food, the wine…
- Ah. Yes.

…the women.

Uh, just for looking, of course.

She, uh, gets a little jealous.

What? I don't get jealous.

Uh, did I say "jealous"?

No, no, no. I-I meant…

I am having the best time with you guys.

Me, too.

And hold on one moment
while I just give myself

a dose of liquid courage here, but, um…

Sorry. I…

Mmm. Okay.

I find you both to be…

…incredibly attractive.

- Hmm.
- And, um…

I'm wondering, uh,
how you would feel about me,

sometime, maybe…

Joining you in your bed.

Oh, wow.

Wow.

Um, well, first of all,
thank you for sharing that.

You're welcome.

Um, to be honest, I was expecting this.

- Really?
- Yeah, yeah.

It's definitely something I'm open to.

I've had quite a few threesomes in
the past and some really great memories.

- Yeah.
- Uh, but, Anne, Anne, um…

- What do you think?
- Mm. What do I think?

Yeah. Uh, well, I mean,
you are always saying

that you want to explore
new parts of yourself.

- -Right?
- No, I want to.

You're right. I've been talking about...

We've been talking about it,
and so I do, I want to.

- Wow.
- But not tonight

'cause I haven't, liked,
shaved or anything in like…

Great, then how about next weekend?

Opening night of the musical.

- Yes.
- We can celebrate.

To celebrate, yeah.

Yeah, sure.

Let's all have sex to celebrate
middle schoolers.

- Yeah.
- This is where we live.

- Wow.
- Wow.

You want to come sit with us?

- Hop on.
- I'll just maybe

stand up, stretch a little.

- Yeah. -What? We don't bite.
- Unless you want us to.

This is, uh, this is a really nice place.

What is it you do for work again?

Uh, Chloe is a clothing designer.

- Taylor and I work in PR.
- Wow.

Who wants shots?!

Oh!

- Yeah, Noah, we should do one together.
- Shot, shot, shot. -Okay, yeah.

- Sure.
- All right. Okay.

Hey, to our hot new friends.

All right. I guess that's us.

Knock-knock, motherfuckers!

Oh, Jesus, you invited
Jase and the guys over?

He has Molly.

Yay, you're here!

Who are the old dudes?

These are dope.
I got these from my brother's stepdad.

- Ooh. -Yes, sir.
- Yeah, yeah.

- So your stepdad?
- Nah.

- Oh.
- Mm.

All right, enjoy.

Uh, hey, man, have you,
have you done Molly before?

- Not since Stagecoach.
- Take it.

- Come on!
- Come on!

Let's go dance!

Yeah!

Here's nothing.

- All right. All right.
- Come on. Come on.

- Oh, where we going?
- That's right, do that.

So, uh, you and Leighton, huh?

That's-that's cool, that's cool.

Oh, yeah. Oh, I don't know. Yeah.

Yeah, well, she used to be my girlfriend.

- Oh, um…
- Yeah.

Uh, cool. Well, you know what?

I-I actually just met her,
so I don't really…

That's-that's cool, man.

- Yeah, nothing's really happening.
- That's cool. That's cool.

So she ever mention me, like?

Uh, well, uh, you know,
I've only known her for like two hours.

Oh, so that, so that's a no.
Okay, okay, cool.

- Yeah, it's a no because…
- No, it's cool.

I haven't seen her since
she actually, like, broke up with me.

- Yeah, so…
- Okay, so this is fresh.

- It-it wouldn't have worked out anyway, you know.
- Ah.

We, uh, we had different love languages.

- You know.
- Sure, you know.

Um, hey, you, uh,
you didn't take your pill, man.

Oh, yeah. You know, um,
I've-I've never done Molly, so…

- Okay.
- I don't know.

Like, is my heart gonna explode
if I, uh, take this?

Oh, no, no.

You're thinking of crack, bro.

- That's what it was.
- You're fine.

- Just pop it. You're cool, man.
- Yeah. Okay.

- Here we go. Down the, down the hatch.
- Yeah. To Leighton.

Huh?

The love of my life.

I can feel my heart beating in my eyes.

- Really?
- Uh-huh.

- If I'm being perfectly honest…
- Mm-hmm?

…I can smell the moon right now.

- No.
- Which I didn't know was a thing.

You know, I bet this is
what it's like to be a dog.

- Oh, man, yeah.
- Yo!

Yo!

- Where's my buddy?!
- Uh, what is that?

- What is that?
- Yo, where's my new friend? -Whoo.

- Peter? -
- Whoa.

- Oh, there he is.
- Hey.

- Peter!
- What are you doing, man?

Don't worry, don't worry.
We do this all the time.

No! No.

Y-You're not gonna make it
in the pool from there.

The pool? I'm not jumping in the pool.

I'm jumping in the hot tub, dude.

I'm tub jumping!

Oh!

No!

- Yes.
- There's not enough water in there, man.

- Don't do it.
- Do it.

- Do not do it.
- Do it.

It's what Leighton wants. I got to do it.

You heard her.

Look, hey, look, we've all had
a lot of fun tonight, you know,

but maybe just step back down.

I think they got Scrabble inside.
Let's just…

- Tub jump!
- No, no, no, no.

- No! No, no, no! No.
- Yeah!

- Is he dead?
- Maybe.

Tub jump!

Trust me. It's totally safe.

Okay.

As long as you, like, tuck your knees in
and protect your neck.

- Protect my neck? Holy shit.
- Oh, yeah.

What happens if you miss?

Oh, no, do not miss.

- I can... I cannot bleach blood out of the patio again.
- Oh, shit.

- Tub jump!
- Whoa, you all right?

- I'm okay.
- Whoa, there he went.

- Come on, let's go!
- There he goes.

Pop that shirt off!

All right.

Why's everyone always want me
to pop my shirt off?

Hi! I'm coming!

And where is Noah?

This couch is everything.

- I could be your everything.
- Hi.

Oh. Hi.

Where did you come from?

- Do you want to dance?
- Oh, my God, we should dance.

I love to dance.

Ooh, that's far.

- Jump! -MAN: Come on!
- You'll love it. -Okay.

- Come on, Peter! You can do this!
- Come on! -You got it!

- It seems very shallow.
- You got it!

I'm gonna go for the pool.

No, no, no, no, no!

Do not go for the pool, okay?

That's how Miles got hurt.

- He's in a wheelchair now.
- Yeah.

Is he?

- Yeah. -Yeah.
- Okay.

- Jump! Jump!
- I can't believe that you'd rather

be with this guy than with me.

- Jump, Peter! -This is ridiculous.
- Jump!

By the way, I haven't achieved
my workout goals yet. I…

Can we just talk about this later?
It's fine.

No, let's talk about this now,
while he's up there.

You guys are on your own thing?

- 'Cause I can go back.
- Come on!

- No-no-no-no-no-no-no!
- No, no, no, no!

- Okay. No? Stay out?
- Come on! Come on!

- No, you can do it! -Jump!
- Okay. All right.

- Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump!
- All right. Ooh.

I love you. I love you so much.

I love you so much, Leighton.

- Shut up.
- Just please give me another chance.

- Whew.
- Please. I'll stop stealing from you.

- Whatever you want.
- I'm doing it.

Here I go.

I'm alive! I'm alive!

Oh, my God, I can't believe I did that!

Whoa!

Oh, my God.

I mean, Anne thinks
I never do anything spontaneous.

You know what I mean?

- Yeah.
- Oh, my God, she hated listening to me complain about my job,

always eating the same salmon

and pretty much everything else
about our life together.

-But, you know, I think things are
gonna be different now… -Uh-huh.

…'cause I just jumped into a hot tub!

I mean, thank you so much.

Yeah, no, you're-you're totally welcome,

but, um, like, who's Anne?

- Hang on a second. Uh…
- Yeah?

What PR firm did you say
you worked at again?

Oh, we work at Goldman Personal Research.

Th-That is, that is not
what "PR" stands for.

That's not even close.
Oh, my God, how old are you?

Twenty-three.

How old are you really?

Okay, fine, I'm 19.

- I'm-I'm 17.
- Oh, my God.

- Oh, my God! Noah, they're in high school!
- Okay.

Oh, fuck, my dad's home!

Oh, shit! Her dad sucks!

Noah!

- Oh, my God. See, I knew this house was too nice.
- Oh, shit!

- Noah, these are children!
- Oh, my God!

Noah!

- We got to go!
- Pete.

You took your shirt off.

Yeah, I took my shirt off. They're 17!

- 17 what?
- Years old, man! We got to go!

- Sorry.
- No.

Get your shit! Go, let's move!

Oh, God.

Uh… hello.

- Again?
- No, don't…

Don't be mad, Daddy.

How old are you?

- I'm 17 years old.
- You're 17 years old?

- Sir, if I could explain to you the…
- No, no, no.

You do not get to call me "sir."
We're peers.

What the fuck are you doing
with a bunch of teenage girls?

- Well, okay, first of all…
- We didn't know how old they were.

We did not.

- No.
- Okay, and…

- They tricked us.
- They did trick us.

Just tell him the truth.

- Just tell him the truth.
- Here's the thing.

I want what you have in life, you know?

Uh, I want your house, you know?

You want my house?

I want a daughter, you know?

Um, not your daughter. I want a daughter.

You know, like-like a little girl,
you know?

I'm sorry, what?

- Even a little boy would be fun to play with.
- Okay…

What the fuck does that mean?

What does that mean?

Uh, um, it doesn't mean that
I want your daughter to be my daughter.

You got to help me out here, man,
because I don't really know what's…

Everyone, just calm down.

- Yeah.
- All right?

I'm calm.

- I…
- Run!

What the fuck was that?!

Potpourri?!

Dude, your stamina's really improved.

- That's the drugs!
- Oh.

I'm sorry things didn't work out
with Leighton.

I really wanted that for you.

Yeah, well, she was in high school,
so that's probably for the best.

Yeah.

Man.

I almost did something really stupid
back there with those girls.

Oh, yeah?

Well, you know, maybe that…

Maybe that means you're not ready
to settle down just yet, huh?

No.

No, if anything,
tonight was a major wake-up call.

- I mean… -Tonight was a wake-up call.
- I'll give you that.

Holy shit.

Oh, and-and what you said back there
about, you know, wanting a daughter…

Ah, dude, uh, what was I saying, man?
I was talking off my head.

No, no, you were, like,
making all the sense in the world.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

Like, I-I know, as guys,

we're, like, supposed to be afraid
of commitment or whatever, but…

- I want that, too.
- That's not that crazy, right?

- Like…
- No.

I'm ready for all that.

I'm ready for… the kid
and the, and the house

and the-the family, the whole thing.

Yeah. Yeah.

That'd be nice.

Yeah.

- I can't believe this is happening, right?
- Me, too.

- I mean, what…
- Oh, my God.

Wait, I'm sorry, what's happening?

I'm gonna propose.

What?

- Yeah. I mean, sure, it's fast, but…
- It's very fast!

I pretty much already
live with Ginny anyways.

I had roommates in college.
I didn't marry those dudes.

You know what I mean?

I can't picture my life without her.

Ah, no.

Loo... Hey, you know, look, man,
you did a lot of drugs tonight, right?

So maybe you're not thinking too clearly.

No, no.

Peter, look at me.

- Oh, there's my ride.
- Uh, oh, no.

- Uh, Noah, no.
- Yes.

- Come here, come here, come here.
- All right, no, wa-wait.

Let's cancel this one
and talk some more because…

Hey. You did this.

- You.
- No. No.

Let's not go
spreading that around town.

- 'Cause I didn't do it.
- Yes! I'm getting married!

Ah.

You know, you're talking crazy.

Ah, shit, man. Ah, shit.

Shit.

Oh, God.

Hey. You've reached Anne.

Leave me a message or anything you think
might make me feel inspired.

Hey. It's, uh, it's me.

Um…

I jumped off of a roof
into a hot tub tonight.

And, uh…

I-I wanted to tell you
'cause I know you don't think I ever do

anything spontaneous,
and it was pretty spontaneous.

Well, actually,
I wanted to tell you because…

…you're the person I've been telling
things to for the last six years, and I…

…I just miss it, you know?

I-I miss it so much my body hurts, Anne.

And, uh, anyway…

…I just... I hope you're doing good.

And, uh, yeah, that's it. Bye.

What?

I don't want you to have
a threesome with Anne.

Yeah, I don't either.

I don't want to have a threesome
with anyone ever.

Oh, really?

You seem like you'd be into them,
like, you know,

- every once in a while or something.
- No, I-I really

just like a straightforward
sexual experience, actually.

I'm with you, you know?

Like, I guess I-I got
my four positions I can do.

They-they work for me,

but I'm not in the bedroom
trying to reinvent the wheel.

Yeah. So you got your four.

- You got you on top, her on top…
- Mm-hmm.

- …doggy style... excuse me…
- Mm-hmm.

…and what's the fourth?

There is no fourth.

I don't know why I said it.

Listen, this threesome
is not actually gonna happen.

You don't have to worry.

We're maybe gonna kiss a little bit.

Logan can second-base me
if absolutely necessary,

and I think that will be enough
to freak Anne out.

Well, definitely she'll freak...
Uh, she's-she's very territorial.

Uh, you know, one time,
she flipped out on my cousin Sally

just for rubbing my butt at a wedding.

Uh, that's a problematic anecdote,
I got to tell you.

Yeah, I shouldn't tell
that story anymore, should I?

Um…

How'd it go with Noah?

Right.

Okay. Uh, yeah.

Well, he definitely misses

- going out and having fun.
- Yeah. Right.

- 'Cause she's, like, a snooze.
- Yeah.

But…

He's also pretty serious about Ginny.

Well, yeah, no shit.

That's why I'm asking you to sort of
get in there and turn his eye…

- Yeah.
- …In a different direction.

I'll think of something. I promise.

Use this thing.

- I will. Sorry, yeah. It's just…
- Be brave.

…he said something that threw me, but...

Oh, Emma, uh, hang on one second.

I hope, I hope this is okay.

I got you something.

What Color Is Your Parachute?

What is this?

I know it looks kind of lame, but, um...

And I generally feel the same way
about, like, self-help crap.

- Well, books are for dorks.
- But, um, people really love this one.

It's supposed to help you
find your purpose.

Uh, uh, your purpose… work-wise.

Because I know how unhappy you are
at your job, and... I don't know...

I figured it could be useful
if you decide to choose a new path.

Yeah, I don't need your help
figuring my life out, Peter.

No. -I'm not a problem
that needs to be solved.

Yeah. No, of course not.
I didn't mean for it like that.

I just…

Look, the other day, you were just really
supportive of me following my dream,

and…

Uh, that made me feel really good.

You know, it made me feel good
that you believe in me.

I just wanted you to know
that I believe in you, too.

Thanks.

Yeah. Well, you're welcome.

Yeah.

So, um,

what kind of sex stuff is Anne into,
for when I have sex

- with her this weekend?
- Stop. Stop it. Stop.

Help! Please!

Relax, sweetheart, and it'll be easier.

No! Audrey!

Get off her! Get…

Get off! Get off!

Audrey, are you all right?

Yes.

No.

Audrey!

I was way better.

I need you, please.

Don't die.

No…!

No.

Oh, my God, are you the kid
that moved the plant around?

Yeah. I'm a real genius at
pushing a killer plant around a stage.

It was graceful.

It was beautiful.

So, it's been real.

Whoa.

Wha... Am I dying?

- What are you talking about?
- Well, the play is over, so…

So we're gonna have to find
another way to keep in touch.

Seriously?

Yeah. Give me your phone.

Okay. Thank you.

And just to be clear,
this is strictly platonic.

Okay?

I don't know what "platonic" means,

but you're my girlfriend now.

Your funeral, man.

That was fantastic.

You just... you had so much...
I-I... You just…

Hey. Um, so, so great, guys.

- Hey.
- Congrats!

- Um, thank you.
- That was so beautiful.

- Weren't they so good? Oh, my gosh.
- They killed it.

They were so great,
and they were covered in blood.

- The children.
- Uh, okay.

Well, uh, are you ready
to get out of here?

Oh.

- Oh, yeah. Big-time.
- Okay. All right.

O-Only if-if you still want to.

Obviously, I want to.

Like I said, I've had a lot of threesomes.

- Cool.
- Yeah.

- Um…
- And obviously…

Anne. Yeah.

Yeah. Let's do this.

Yeah. Yeah.

Just give me one second.
I'm just leaving the house.

- Okay. Yeah, I hear you.
- Okay.

Okay, Emma, this is what you want, huh?

You're fucking my girlfriend,
I'm framing your boyfriend,

'cause that's what friends are for.

All right. What am I gonna do?

Put the condom in the bed or…?

Maybe just the wrapper.

Yeah, just the wrapper.

Oh, shit.

No, I'm not donating food
to Justin Bieber's church.

Oh, he's gonna post about it?

Okay, fine.

Okay. All right.

- Okay. Okay.
- What, what?

Here we go.

I'll be right back.

Mm.

Okay, you know you don't
have to do this if you don't want to.

Really don't.

- What?
- I'm…

I'm just saying, you don't have
anything to prove to Logan.

- Oh.
- Or me or…

- No, I know that. No, no.
- You could just…

This is for me. I'm doing this for me.

I'm-I'm… I am a sexually
adventurous person.

- Hi, baby.
- Hey. -Okay.

Okay. Here we are.

Okay.

Well, I was saving this
for another special occasion.

I think this will pair well
with the mélange of…

Let's stop wasting time.

Mm.

Oh.

Anne's a real tigress, huh?

Mm.

I'm also here.

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Oh.

Oh, okay.

I'm gonna try the wine.

Okay.

This is a very nice house.

No, this isn't right. I can't do this.

Oh, shit.

The fuck is that?

Okay.

Okay.

You can do this.

Ginny, I fucking love you.

No.

Ginny, I fucking love you. Come on.

Keep it clean.

You plus me equals forever.

You're my fire, my one desire.

No quotes.

I should've worn nicer shoes.

Um, Anne, Anne, Anne, um, don't you think
our friend is feeling a little…

left out?

- Yeah.
- Wow.

- Oh, ladies first!
- Oh!

- Oh.
- Okay.

Okay, this is really...

I love it, but I-I just wish
we were taking our clothes off.

- You know?
- Yes.

- Yeah, let's take off our clothes.
- Great idea. -Oh…

- Great. May I?
- Okay.

Oh, please.

- Thank you so much.
- I love your smooth body.

Oh, thank you.

You're like a dermatologist's dream.

Thank you.

- What about my dress?
- Oh, yes.

-Let me, uh… -But I'm still
wearing all my clothes, so…

Oh, you know what?
Lucky for you two, I am ambidextrous.

- Oh.
- Okay.

- Oh, there you go.
- And, uh…

Need to feel it out.

Uh, okay, maybe just one at a time.

- Yeah.
- There we go. Okay.

Okay, you working on that.

I can't wait to see what else
these fingies can do, right?

- And there we go.
- Ah.

There it is.

You did it.

Okay, well, this is heating up, I think.

Um, shall we move this ménage
to-to the bed?

Or we could dance for you.

Yes. Yes.

- Let's dance for you!
- Oh, okay.

Alexa, play anything!

- Oh, hey.
- Hey.

Hi.

It's like a fire hazard in here.

What's going on?

Well, what's happening is…

Whoa, whoa.

…I want to spend
the rest of my life with you.

Will you marry me?

It's… it's really fast.

I know.

But I-I feel like we've been together
long enough for me to know

all the important stuff.

Like I want to fall asleep
next to you every night,

and I want to wake up
next to you every morning.

And, uh, I want to be
the first person to try

all your new pie flavors

just so I can see the look
on your face when I tell you

how amazing they are.

Uh…

I'm screwing this up. I-I-I…

I love you so much.

And I, uh…

I-I just never been more sure
about anything in my entire life.

So?

Yes, of course.

- Yes?
- Yes, I will marry you.

I know. I just, uh… Ah.

- Supposed to put this on.
- Oh, my God.

Oh, shit.

Oh, my God.

- Mm.
- I love you so much.

I love you, too.

- Yeah.
- We're getting married.

Yes.

Mm, yeah.

Stupid pants.

There.

Oh, I-I think that is... that's the end.

One more song?

- One more song. -
- Uh, really?

Uh, it-it feels like you've been
dancing for-for a while now.

Okay. All right.

- Anne.
- Hmm?

I think it's time.

It's time, yes.

- I think it's time for us to all have sex together.
- Yeah?

- Sure. Yeah.
- Come on. Yeah.

Okay, let's do it.

May I, uh, take off your pants?

- Oh, yes. Yeah, ple... yeah, of course.
- Yeah. Okay.

- Get-get these... It's just these buttons.
- Oh. Oh.

- Just lift your butt, I think.
- Okay, yeah.

- Okay.
- Um, maybe... Wow.

Snug little… little guys, these…

- Maybe one at a time.
- Yeah, one at a time.

- Okay.
- Oh, yay.

Wow.

- That was really difficult.
- It was.

Anne, come on.

- Yeah, Anne.
- Join us.

Yeah, j… just a sec.

I... you know, I'm just, um,
I'm just trying to figure out this, uh...

Ooh.

Here, get this dim right.

How's that? You like that?

Uh, Anne, what's-what's going on?

- What do you mean?
- I mean, do-do you not want to do this?

I thought this was something
that you wanted to explore.

- It is.
- Okay, well, then let yourself be free.

- Right?
- Yeah.

I mean, you're not with your boring
old boyfriend anymore, right?

I never said he was boring.

No, no, but you mentioned that he's, like,
the human equivalent of toast.

Yeah, but I love toast.
I mean, who doesn't love toast?

Everyone loves toast.

It goes with everything and
it makes you feel all good inside, and…

Peter is not that boring.

He's not the worst at all.

He's… he's really kind,
and he's-he's really sweet,

and he's funny, and he has my back,
and he cares about me,

and he would never make me have
a threesome with this horrible woman.

- I am so sorry.
- Oh, no, I'm not… being great.

Logan, you're right.

I don't want to do this.

And, uh, I don't want to do anything
with you ever again.

Um, see you at school.

Okay, well, and then…

There were two.

Wow.

Three times?

- Oh, thanks, babe.
- Here.

Yeah.

Oh, I'm dying.

I can't even move.

- I need a shower.
- Me, too.

And then pie.

Wait for me.

Okay.

Hi.

Hey.

Um, 'kay.

Yeah.

- I had a really weird night.
- Yeah.

- Something in the air.
- Uh, maybe the weirdest night ever.

Hold on one sec. Hold on one sec.

- Uh, actually, you, um…
- I am so hungry.

Listen. Wait, Emma. Sorry.

Um, before we get into anything, uh…

I got something I got to tell you,
and it's-it's really kind of bad,

so let me just kind of say it quickly
before I lose my nerve.

Okay.

Noah asked Ginny to marry him.

And, um, she said yes.

I'm sorry.

I mean, I-I know you think
that Noah's the love of your life,

and I understand that, but maybe
he's not the love of your life, right?

Maybe if he's marrying Ginny,
that's meant to be,

and there's something for you
out there that's-that's better,

- that's meant to be, and you j…
- Yes.

No, you're right.

I am?

- Yeah.
- Okay.

Okay. Uh, I thought you'd be more upset.

Yeah, I'm…

- Me, too.
- All right, well, good.

Then I'm off the hook, I guess.

Great.

Uh, I was feeling so guilty about it.

I'm sorry, eat. Yeah, get something.

- Yeah.
- Oh, and tell me about your night.

- I-I'm dying to know.
- Oh. Okay.

Um…

- So…
- Sorry, uh…

Oh, my God, Anne's calling me.

-Uh, did you have sex with her?
What, uh… -Okay, well…

- Right.
- Sorry, I'll just…

Hello?

Mm-hmm.

Oh, yeah?

Okay.

I-I'm not there, so I'd-I'd need,
like, uh, 15 minutes or so,

but, um, that sounds good.

I'll-I'll see you soon. Yeah.

Okay, bye.

She wants to come over.

I think she broke up with Logan.

- I know.
- Shit.

Emma, you did it!

I can't believe you did...

I'm gonna, I'm gonna go.
I'm gonna go, uh...

That's okay, right? You don't mind.

That's... this is incredible. Wow, uh…

Well, here, let me, let me
give you some money.

A twenty, that should cover it, right?

Um… Emma,

thank you so much.

Really, that's…

You're amazing.

I still had my key, so I…

Oh.

Oh, I missed you so much.

Oh, my God, I missed you.

Mm. Mm. Mm.

Have you been working out?

Yeah.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Is now a good time or, uh…

Uh, well, do you want,
like, a full brace face

or do you just want, like, a retainer?

So how'd it go last night?

Um…

Good. You know?

We're-we're back together.

- Which is surprising, right? 'Cause I-I…
- Yeah.

- I mean, I ki... I kind of can't believe it worked.
- Wow.

Yeah.

- That's great.
- Yeah, I mean…

Look, thank you
so much, Emma, for everything.

It's really amazing.

No problem.

It was a pleasure.

Cool. Well, um, that second run theater
is playing Beetlejuice this weekend.

If you want to go see that.

Yeah, um, I'd like to, but, you know,
now that Anne and I are back together…

Mm.

…she obviously can't know
that we know each other.

- Right.
- I mean, I don't want to sneak around behind her back.

So we really can't…

…hang out anymore.

Oh.

Oh.

Can't believe we didn't
think this part all the way through.

Yeah.

Totally. Uh, we did not think about that.

Yeah.

Look, we can still talk and stuff, like,
when we see each other around the office.

Yeah, I think it's probably best
if we don't.

Yeah.

I guess you're probably right about that.
Um…

Look, I'm sorry I wasn't able
to do my half of the…

Don't. It's... Thank you.

Or congratulations.

Thank you.

Um…

I'll let you get back to work.

Uh, McMillan Orthodontics.

Um…

let me take a look for you.

I miss this so much.

No, me, too.

Hey, remember, um…

Before we took a break, how, uh…

How you said I was, like, stuck?

You know, like, I mean, like, in my job.

Yeah.

Well, I was thinking about finally…

Betting on myself and going out on my own.

You mean like…

Trying to start your own retirement home?

Well, not trying.

I mean, I-I really think I could do it.

Uh, look, interest rates
are insanely low right now.

And there are
these federal grants available

from the Department of Health
and Human Services…

Peter, you don't have to do that.

Huh?

Yeah. You don't have to
do that for me, baby.

I was wrong.

I was. When I said all that stuff
about you playing it safe, I…

I realized that's just who you are.

And there's nothing wrong with that.

I love you.

I love you, too.

Ha-ha, Topanga. Hubba-hubba.

Happy anniversary.

Hey.

Hey. Can I talk to you guys for a sec?

What's up?

Well, I just wanted you guys
to know that, um,

I found my own apartment
and I am moving out.

And, you know, I think
I did stay here a little bit too long

and just overdue for some changes,
and it's sort of the end of an era…

When are you leaving?

Next month.

Uh, that's so soon!

That's so soon.

What Paul means is, um,

that we're gonna miss you around here.

Okay. Thank you.

Oh, wait. This letter came for you.

Mm.

Thank… you.

Emma?

Mm.

Hi.

- Logan. Okay.
- Hi.

Wh-Whatcha doing?

I just really like the salami here,
and I needed to eat a lot of it,

and I also happen to be
pounding this bottle of

"Grenachay."

Grenache.

Uh, but I-I like
your pronunciation better.

Thanks.

Yeah.

You mind if I sit with you?

Sure, yeah. It's your turf.

You know, the, uh,
the trick to charcuterie

is to have the right ratio of
sodium chloride to sodium nitrate. Yeah.

- Here you are.
- Thanks, Tommy.

- When I lived in Italia…
- Logan.

- Mm-hmm?
- I just want to eat this.

Oh. Okay.

Can you ever just relax?

Yeah.

- Yeah, yeah.
- Join me.

Thanks. Thank you.

Yeah, sorry. I, um…

Sorry.

Are you okay?

Yeah.

Kind of.

I, um…

Friend of mine just posted about
his production of Desire Under the Elms

moving to Broadway,
and I've been spiraling ever since.

Mm.

You ever feel like
you're getting left behind?

Yeah, constantly.

That's one of my main feelings.

Yeah?

I just got invited
to my ex-boyfriend's wedding.

- Oh, no.
- Yeah. Oh, yeah.

You gonna go?

No, I'm not thinking of going.
I think I'm gonna pass.

I don't think I should do that to myself.

No, no, no, no. Sometimes…

Sometimes seeing someone you once
loved embrace new love can be healing.

I don't know if that is
the most annoying thing I've ever heard

or if it makes total sense.

Maybe a bit of both.

But you can't go alone
'cause that would be…

- Pathetic?
- Yeah.

- Yeah.
- Crazy.

Ill-advised.

Lucky for you,
I make a really great wedding date.

Come on.

What do you mean "come on"?

What do you mean you want to go
to my ex-boyfriend's wedding?

Yes, I'm serious.
I think we can have a lot of fun together.

I mean, look, uh, we-we both love wine.

- Uh-huh.
- Right?

Um, uh, we both
don't respect our arteries.

Yeah?

It's in Savannah on a riverboat.

Good thing I don't get seasick.

I've never been to a wedding
on a boat before.

- Have you? Mm.
- No, I haven't.

Do they get married by, like, a skipper?

Um…

Hi.

Um, would you mind getting us a drink?

- Yes. Sure.
- Yeah. -Hey.

- Hi. Okay.
- Come here.

- I'm so glad you came.
- Me, too.

I can't believe
you're getting married in an hour.

I know. It's kind of bonkers, right?

I'm really happy for you, Noah.

Thanks, Emma.

Hey. The wine is trash.

- No.
- Yeah.

- That's funny.
- Hey.

- That's… This is, um…
- Noah. -Oh.

- Logan?
- Anne.

- Emma.
- Peter.

What are you doing here?

Noah and I are good friends.

You two know each other?

Sort of. Uh, not well, you know, but…

- Mm.
- Really?

How?

- W-We work together, uh, in the same building, you know.
- Oh.

- Right, that's it. Yeah.
- Oh. -PETER: Yeah, yeah.

You know, many, many floors,
so a lot of people work there.

- That's crazy.
- Yeah, it is crazy.

Not that crazy.

S-Sorry, we haven't...

But who-who are you?

I'm Peter. I'm Anne's boyfriend.

You're Peter?

- Funny way to say it, I guess.
- So is this a thing now?

- Oh, no, no, we're just, you know…
- We're on a date.

Yeah, on a date.

A weekend-long date.

Yeah, Anne, what are you, like,
the date length police?

Oh, Anne, you know Emma?

- Yeah, they definitely know each other.
- Well, be...

Yeah, because of, um, the school musical
that she helped out with.

- That was the one time…
- PETER: Oh, just, sorry, one time.

- Just maybe the one or twice times, but…
- Good. Yeah. Just one time, really.

Gosh, I drained my drink.
Anyone else want another?

- Yes!
- Yes, please.

Oh, I'm okay, thanks.

- Oh, okay.
- Um, I'll help you carry 'em.

- I'm fine.
- No, I insist. Uh…

Well, that's great. You all are friends.

- Mm. Yeah.
- Yeah. -Yeah.

Hey, look, I'm so sorry.

- I didn't realize you were gonna be here.
- Yeah.

Let's just go, okay?

Well, I'm an important part
of Noah's life,

so he invited me and I came here
and now this is happening.

No, of course, yeah. It's good to see you.

But you're dating Logan? I mean, what's…

We're not... It doesn't mat...
That's none of your business.

Okay.

Well, why are you here?

I didn't realize that you guys were
"invite to a wedding" close.

Well, yeah, we've become pretty tight,
you know? Just…

Mm. Wow.

So you got Anne back
and you became best friends with Noah.

You really made out
like a freaking bandit.

I'm sorry, Emma.

I-I didn't know it was
gonna turn out like this.

- You two been helped?
- Uh…

Oh, yeah. Can you do, um,
four of the Savannah Fizzes, please?

Just three of those.
I'll have a dirty Ketel martini, please.

You got it.

So how are you?

I'm fine, Peter.

Actually, I got a new apartment.

- You did?
- Yeah.

- Ah, that's great.
- I know.

And, um, I'm applying to a few
continuing education programs.

I'm gonna finish my degree, and…

I decided to become a guidance counselor.

Oh, my God, that's fantastic, Emma.

Guidance counselor,
that's, like, the perfect thing for you.

Thank you.

Yeah, that's the reason
why they call it Swan Lake.

Ah. -Ah.

- Swan Lake story?
- Yeah.

- Yeah.
- Well, anyways, to, um...

Oh, to Noah and Janice.

- Uh, Ginny.
- Oh.

- Oh, Ginny.
- Yeah.

- Uh, yeah, it was close. You were close.
- With an "G."

- Oh. -Yeah.
- Oh, Peter.

Ginny's uncle's here,

- the commercial real estate broker I was telling you about.
- Mm.

- Ah, that'd be great if I could talk to him.
- Yeah.

- Thanks, man.
- Peter's opening up his own retirement home.

Yeah, it's super risky to go out
on your own, but he's doing it.

Uh, yeah.

I always knew you could.

Right.

- Yeah, we're proud of him.
- Uh, thanks, pal.

Noah.

- Oh.
- Oh. They're ready.

- Oh. -Oh. All right.
- Congrats. -Wish me luck.

- Knock 'em dead, champ.
- Get it. -Break a leg.

- All right.
- All right.

Oh, happy day.

I guess we're shipping off, huh?

Ooh. Let's go look.

- Yeah.
- Bye.

- Shall we… -Yeah, bye.
- We'll loo... We'll look out the other window.

- Yeah, good. -Yeah, mm-hmm.
- That way, that way.

- Hey, hey.
- Hey.

- I have been looking for ya.
- Yeah?

Yeah.

Hey, what's going on?

Uh, n-nothing.

You know, just getting some fresh air.

You okay?

I'm fine.

This isn't because Logan is here, is it?

Peter.

- Peter.
- Hey, why did you say

you always knew
I could start my own company?

- What?
- Before when we were talking,

you said you always knew I could do it.

Right. Because I did.

No, you didn't.

- What do you mean?
- You didn't believe in me, Anne.

Why would you say that?

I mean, Emma believed in me
more than you ever did.

- Emma?
- Yeah.

Emma.

I'm sorry. Uh…

Wait, what does this have to do with Emma?

Wait, Pet... Peter!

Emma.

- Huh?
- Look, I am so sorry.

- What?
- About blowing you off and saying we can't hang out.

I miss you.

- I miss you so much.
- What?

- Uh, listen, we…
- Peter, are you…

…we know each other
better than I let on, okay?

We're-we're friends.

- We're not friends. You used me.
- That's not true, Emma.

- Used her for what?
- No, I didn't.

- We used each other.
- I don't want to do this, Peter.

- Emma, please. Please wait.
- We're at a wedding.

L-Look, remember what you told me
about how the-the slow burn

that gets under your skin, you said that
that's the rarest kind of person, Emma?

You're my slow burn.

Okay, I'm gonna need somebody to tell me
what the fuck is going on right now!

- Whoa, whoa.
- Hi, guys.

Hey, guys, what the hell's going on?

- I think she's sleeping with my boyfriend.
- No.

- Okay, calm down. I'm not sleeping with anyone.
- It's…

- Yeah, that's not what this is.
- Then what?

- What is this?
- Hi. What's going on?

Oh. Uh…

- Don't.
- Okay.

- No, don't.
- It's fine.

Peter and I became friends
after we both got dumped.

No, don't do this.

We decided to help each other…

…win you both back.

And my job was to break up you and Logan,

and his job was to break up you and Ginny.

It sounds crazy
when she says it like that.

- That is so fucked.
- What the fuck?

Hold on.

So were you even in Little Shop
in high school?

Oh. So you're insane.

Great.

Noah, you need to get
these people out of here.

Please, right now.

Okay, but we're on a boat.

Okay, well, just figure it out!

Listen, we-we thought
you were the loves of our lives,

and we just wanted to get you back.

And you got her, Peter.

But I made a mistake, Emma.

You got to be kidding me.

You abandoned me.

After everything?

We were so close. You…

It was so easy for you
to just forget about me.

No, it-it really wasn't.

You're too late.

You're not who I thought you were.

And maybe I'm your slow burn,
but you're not mine.

Screw you, Peter.

Noah, let me just say one-one thing.

Anne?

Anne, are you awake?

Yes, but I'm not speaking to you.

That's okay. Uh…

I'd just like to say some stuff,
all right?

You know, even…

…even though we're really mad
at each other right now…

…I don't regret spending
all those years together.

Not even a little.

We built a home together.

All of our grandparents and two sickly
cats died while we were together, and…

I think we really loved each other a lot.

That makes me feel lucky.

And if you want to say how you feel,
I-I think that'd be nice.

I thought dating Logan
was gonna turn me into this…

…free-spirited artist
that I so dreamt of being.

But maybe that's not me.

Maybe I'm sort of a uptight woman
that teaches English

and loves to talk about theater
and does not do threesomes, and…

…that's okay.

It's more than okay.

It suits you perfectly.

I feel lucky, too, Peter.

Thanks.

Except that time that you got a woman
to break up me and my new boyfriend.

I don't feel lucky about that time.

Uh, nor should you.

Good to see y'all.

Noah.

Hold on.

- Emma…
- Wait. Uh, no, no, I-I get it.

Just a sec.

I am so sorry for everything.

I need you to know
I was in a really bad place.

And I'm not saying that's an excuse.

It's not, but… I'm sorry.

Um… and that's all.

Uh, okay, hold on.

You know what I don't understand?

A lot of the time when we were together,
you seemed bored.

I mean, I'm not that funny,

and you hated talking about nutrition.

Were we even that compatible?

No, I don't think we were.

So why did you want me back so bad?

Oh, I think I just wanted
the search to be over.

But maybe you can't force it.

Maybe you just have to do
the best you can on your own,

and if you do a really good job
and you're lucky,

then you find someone.

The way you found Ginny.

Yeah.

So, good job.

But I mean it.

- You take care, okay?
- 'Kay.

And stay away from my wife.

I'm serious.

Okay.

Yes.

How was your stay?

Oh, very, very bad.

Yeah.

Oh. Hi.

How are you? Right this way.

Thank you. Can I see your ticket?

Perfect.

Ladies and gentlemen,

the captain has turned on
the "fasten seat belt" sign.

Please return to your seats
and keep your seat belt fastened.

Thank you.

Folks, this is your captain speaking.

Nothing to worry about.
Just a sudden air pocket there.

But everything's gonna be just fine.

You can remove those oxygen masks now.