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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,126 --> 00:00:04,295 KEVIN: We're just looking for weird ingredients for Mom's remedy soup, okay? 2 00:00:05,213 --> 00:00:06,840 Not ripe, not ripe. 3 00:00:07,674 --> 00:00:08,675 Way too ripe. 4 00:00:10,468 --> 00:00:13,513 - First, a moody lime. - Check. 5 00:00:13,722 --> 00:00:15,223 How is that... 6 00:00:15,432 --> 00:00:16,433 (SIGHS) Okay. 7 00:00:16,433 --> 00:00:19,728 Uh, next is a hot pepper with attitude. 8 00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:21,104 Also check. 9 00:00:22,772 --> 00:00:25,233 All this trouble for some folk treatment remedy soup 10 00:00:25,233 --> 00:00:27,652 when we could just buy Dad VapoRub and call it a day. 11 00:00:28,236 --> 00:00:29,779 Okay, the last item on the list 12 00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:31,489 is one perfect onion. 13 00:00:31,573 --> 00:00:33,825 What does a perfect onion even look like? 14 00:00:33,992 --> 00:00:35,410 Yeah, how would we even know? 15 00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:37,579 GRETEL: Oh, never mind. KEVIN: Yeah. Wow. 16 00:00:39,831 --> 00:00:43,251 Ah, perfect. Truly an onion worthy of me. 17 00:00:43,251 --> 00:00:45,253 Excuse me, that was mine. 18 00:00:45,253 --> 00:00:46,755 Don't you know who I am? 19 00:00:46,755 --> 00:00:48,590 The lady who just took my onion. 20 00:00:48,965 --> 00:00:50,967 Oh, how quickly they forget. 21 00:00:51,593 --> 00:00:54,304 (SINGING) People know me from their TV 22 00:00:55,013 --> 00:00:58,516 I was on the popular telenovela 23 00:00:58,683 --> 00:01:00,185 So melodramatic 24 00:01:00,351 --> 00:01:02,687 My fans were ecstatic till my character 25 00:01:02,812 --> 00:01:04,314 Got salmonella 26 00:01:04,314 --> 00:01:07,567 They wrote me out of the show 27 00:01:07,859 --> 00:01:10,653 There was not a thing that I could do 28 00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:13,907 For the writers, they all knew my only sure fault 29 00:01:14,032 --> 00:01:16,076 Was that I just could not cry on cue 30 00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:17,202 (GRUNTS) 31 00:01:17,368 --> 00:01:20,080 I thought that maybe 32 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:22,582 I could get my job back if I cried 33 00:01:23,208 --> 00:01:25,752 There are 75 or 80 34 00:01:25,752 --> 00:01:29,047 Onion remedies that I have tried 35 00:01:29,339 --> 00:01:32,092 But still no tears 36 00:01:32,300 --> 00:01:35,178 It was here in my darkest hours 37 00:01:35,470 --> 00:01:37,263 When a light from the heavens 38 00:01:37,347 --> 00:01:39,182 Shone down on me and gave me 39 00:01:39,182 --> 00:01:40,934 This one superpower 40 00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:44,604 Now I talk to onions 41 00:01:44,771 --> 00:01:47,440 Because the onions hear me when I speak 42 00:01:48,066 --> 00:01:50,860 I guess, to be truthful, it's not all that useful 43 00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:53,238 But at least I can say I'm unique 44 00:01:53,363 --> 00:01:56,491 Call me La Cebolla 45 00:01:56,491 --> 00:01:59,577 I have this power that came from the sky 46 00:01:59,661 --> 00:02:03,123 Por que no puedo llorar I'm no longer a star 47 00:02:03,248 --> 00:02:06,417 So the rest of the world's going to cry for me 48 00:02:06,543 --> 00:02:12,799 La Cebolla 49 00:02:13,508 --> 00:02:15,510 Call me La Cebolla. 50 00:02:17,637 --> 00:02:21,182 (BOTH LAUGH) 51 00:02:21,349 --> 00:02:23,059 You talk to onions? 52 00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:24,435 Is that even a power? 53 00:02:24,519 --> 00:02:26,062 I mean, I can talk to onions. 54 00:02:26,187 --> 00:02:28,064 Hey, Mr. Onion, read any good books lately? 55 00:02:29,065 --> 00:02:30,733 Oh, you haven't, because you're an onion. 56 00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:32,777 Hey, Kevin, look. Blah, blah, blah. 57 00:02:32,902 --> 00:02:34,320 I'm chatting with a banana. 58 00:02:34,445 --> 00:02:36,781 I'm lounging with the leek. How you doing? 59 00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:39,868 I should clarify. I talk to onions, 60 00:02:39,868 --> 00:02:43,037 and they listen. Onions, vamonos. 61 00:02:45,665 --> 00:02:50,044 (SINGING) Call me La Cebolla 62 00:02:50,128 --> 00:02:51,421 Excuse me. 63 00:02:51,421 --> 00:02:53,131 Could you pass me a kiwi? 64 00:02:53,631 --> 00:02:54,632 (SIGHS IN EXASPERATION) 65 00:02:56,968 --> 00:02:57,969 Here you go, ma'am. 66 00:02:59,387 --> 00:03:04,517 (SINGING) La Cebolla 67 00:03:04,601 --> 00:03:06,895 Should we go after her? 68 00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:08,897 I'm not even sure onion whispering is a crime. 69 00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:12,650 Fair enough. But now we don't have a perfect onion for Mom's remedy soup. 70 00:03:13,359 --> 00:03:15,778 We'll have to settle for an adequate shallot. 71 00:03:18,072 --> 00:03:19,282 (SPEAKING SPANISH) 72 00:03:19,657 --> 00:03:21,492 I told you not to go jogging in the rain. 73 00:03:21,576 --> 00:03:23,161 But I like running in the rain. 74 00:03:23,161 --> 00:03:24,829 It makes me feel dramatic. 75 00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:26,039 (SNEEZES) 76 00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:28,917 This is Veronica Hill, reporting on a strange phenomenon 77 00:03:28,917 --> 00:03:30,335 that has authorities confounded. 78 00:03:30,335 --> 00:03:32,962 Stores and restaurants have reported the mass disappearance 79 00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:34,839 of onions from their shelves and storerooms. 80 00:03:34,964 --> 00:03:37,800 Without onions, my French onion soup is just 81 00:03:37,884 --> 00:03:38,885 French soup. 82 00:03:39,177 --> 00:03:40,929 I don't know who I am anymore. 83 00:03:41,095 --> 00:03:42,764 Huh, maybe we should have gone after her. 84 00:03:42,764 --> 00:03:46,017 Kevin. The woman talks to onions. 85 00:03:46,017 --> 00:03:48,478 - Who cares? - CAROLINA: Kids. Dinner's ready! 86 00:03:48,645 --> 00:03:51,522 And to the viewers at home who ask, "Why should I care?" 87 00:03:51,606 --> 00:03:53,483 Let me just say, I agree with you. 88 00:03:53,483 --> 00:03:55,985 I've done a lot of field pieces and I can safely say that 89 00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:57,695 this is the most uninteresting one yet. 90 00:03:58,863 --> 00:03:59,864 Pass the salt. 91 00:04:03,034 --> 00:04:05,328 Kevin, it's bad luck to spill salt at the table. 92 00:04:05,328 --> 00:04:07,288 You have to throw it over your left shoulder. 93 00:04:07,372 --> 00:04:08,873 That's just a silly superstition. 94 00:04:08,957 --> 00:04:09,958 I'll get it. 95 00:04:10,541 --> 00:04:12,001 Ah, the bad luck is starting. 96 00:04:12,961 --> 00:04:15,713 Run around the block three times holding the garlic. 97 00:04:15,797 --> 00:04:17,924 That should dispel the bad salt vibes. 98 00:04:17,924 --> 00:04:19,008 (BOTH GROAN AND SIGH) 99 00:04:19,384 --> 00:04:20,677 Aora. Now. 100 00:04:22,303 --> 00:04:24,472 Ah, you're a miracle worker, hon. 101 00:04:24,472 --> 00:04:26,808 That soup cleared my sinuses right up. 102 00:04:26,808 --> 00:04:27,892 - (HICCUPS) - Ay. 103 00:04:27,976 --> 00:04:30,561 Hiccups. Mi tio had an ointment for hiccups. 104 00:04:34,065 --> 00:04:36,276 - Three laps. - No fair, using powers. 105 00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:39,070 That's what guys with no powers always say. 106 00:04:39,904 --> 00:04:40,905 Cold. 107 00:04:40,989 --> 00:04:42,365 (SIGHS) This is dumb. 108 00:04:42,657 --> 00:04:43,658 It could be worse. 109 00:04:43,658 --> 00:04:46,160 You could have gotten the power to talk to onions. 110 00:04:46,244 --> 00:04:47,245 (BOTH LAUGHING) 111 00:04:47,245 --> 00:04:49,998 You're right. At least I'm not... (SINGING) La Cebolla 112 00:04:49,998 --> 00:04:52,959 - (LA CEBOLLA VOCALIZING) - Uh-oh. 113 00:04:57,380 --> 00:04:58,548 What do you want from us? 114 00:04:58,756 --> 00:05:01,592 Simple. My onion amplifier allows me to communicate 115 00:05:01,676 --> 00:05:03,511 with every onion on Earth. 116 00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:07,181 The thing is, it only works by draining powers from a superhero. 117 00:05:07,265 --> 00:05:09,183 At least, that's what the infomercial said. 118 00:05:09,267 --> 00:05:12,520 MAN: Can you talk to onions? Would you like to talk to more onions? 119 00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:14,856 Then use the Onion Amplifier. 120 00:05:15,064 --> 00:05:18,109 It works by simply draining the powers off any superhero. 121 00:05:18,109 --> 00:05:20,611 Take over the world! Impress your friends! 122 00:05:20,695 --> 00:05:21,863 Superhero not included. 123 00:05:22,697 --> 00:05:23,865 It drains superpowers? 124 00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:26,701 Yes. And you will be my battery. 125 00:05:26,701 --> 00:05:27,785 Okay. 126 00:05:27,869 --> 00:05:28,911 What are you gonna do? 127 00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:31,205 - Talk to onions at me? - So to speak. 128 00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:32,957 Onions, attack them! 129 00:05:35,710 --> 00:05:38,338 - (GROANS) There's so many of them. - Aah! 130 00:05:38,463 --> 00:05:40,131 Scallions, strike! 131 00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:44,761 My onion ring of power will bind you. 132 00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:47,013 (GRUNTS) 133 00:05:48,514 --> 00:05:49,515 Aah! 134 00:05:52,393 --> 00:05:53,603 (GROANS) 135 00:05:53,811 --> 00:05:55,855 Oh, no, she's got super onion breath. 136 00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:57,523 - Vamonos, onion. - Kevin! 137 00:06:00,777 --> 00:06:02,195 Stay with me, buddy. Stay with me. 138 00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:03,488 Cure for bad onion breath. 139 00:06:03,488 --> 00:06:04,989 Come on. Come on. 140 00:06:05,239 --> 00:06:06,240 I got nothing. 141 00:06:06,407 --> 00:06:07,658 - Wait. - Okay. 142 00:06:07,742 --> 00:06:08,910 - How do you feel? - (HICCUPS) 143 00:06:08,910 --> 00:06:09,994 Afraid. 144 00:06:10,078 --> 00:06:11,496 Good, that means it's working. 145 00:06:11,621 --> 00:06:14,248 Hey, Mom, I need a remedy for bad onion breath. 146 00:06:14,332 --> 00:06:15,708 Bad onion breath? 147 00:06:15,917 --> 00:06:18,920 Ah, si. Drink some ice water with apple slices in it, 148 00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:20,546 then scream a secret into the cup. 149 00:06:20,630 --> 00:06:21,881 Okay, thanks. 150 00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:24,675 Scream a secret into the cup? 151 00:06:25,093 --> 00:06:26,094 You heard me. 152 00:06:26,594 --> 00:06:28,554 - (DOOR CLOSES) - Phew! No more hiccups. 153 00:06:29,555 --> 00:06:31,265 - (CAROLINA GASPS) - Okay, what's wrong now? 154 00:06:31,349 --> 00:06:33,518 Everything's fine, but you have to eat two lemons 155 00:06:33,518 --> 00:06:35,269 while humming the alphabet backwards 156 00:06:35,353 --> 00:06:36,604 before the moon is full. 157 00:06:36,896 --> 00:06:40,191 Don't worry, my little battery, this won't hurt... 158 00:06:40,691 --> 00:06:42,985 me. You, I'm not sure. 159 00:06:43,277 --> 00:06:45,530 Look, I'm sorry for making fun of you earlier, 160 00:06:45,530 --> 00:06:47,407 but this isn't gonna win you any fans. 161 00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:49,450 Batteries, don't talk, dear. (GIGGLES) 162 00:06:49,575 --> 00:06:54,247 Onions of the world, La Cebolla commands you, come to me! 163 00:06:58,209 --> 00:07:00,503 Ugh, I said no onions. 164 00:07:01,170 --> 00:07:02,171 That's better. 165 00:07:09,387 --> 00:07:10,555 Apples, ice water. 166 00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:12,974 Come on, Hamster, I need you to rescue Gretel. 167 00:07:13,599 --> 00:07:15,685 Hamster, you need to scream a secret into the cup. 168 00:07:15,685 --> 00:07:17,103 I'm a hamster, 169 00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:19,939 I don't have any secrets. You need to do it. 170 00:07:20,064 --> 00:07:21,065 - Me? - Yes, Kevin. 171 00:07:21,149 --> 00:07:22,942 Quickly, I'm fading! 172 00:07:24,485 --> 00:07:26,779 Sometimes, I smell my socks after taking them off, 173 00:07:26,863 --> 00:07:29,031 and if they don't smell like soup, I wear them again! 174 00:07:29,323 --> 00:07:30,867 - Hamster? - Okay, I'm better. 175 00:07:30,867 --> 00:07:32,827 - It worked? - No, I was just messing with you. 176 00:07:32,827 --> 00:07:34,454 The water did the trick. Let's go. 177 00:07:36,622 --> 00:07:38,541 Reports of vast migrations of onions 178 00:07:38,541 --> 00:07:41,544 are pouring in from all over the world, baffling scientists. 179 00:07:41,544 --> 00:07:44,297 Is this the work of some beautiful, misunderstood soul 180 00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:46,215 whose talent has been ignored too long? 181 00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:47,633 The answer, of course, is no. 182 00:07:47,717 --> 00:07:50,303 Only a loser would seek validation through such absurd methods. 183 00:07:50,678 --> 00:07:53,431 The better question is, what did I do to keep getting assigned 184 00:07:53,431 --> 00:07:55,183 these awful, awful field pieces? 185 00:07:55,391 --> 00:07:56,392 Told you. 186 00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:57,602 (SPEAKS SPANISH) 187 00:07:57,768 --> 00:07:58,936 I'll show them all. 188 00:07:59,020 --> 00:08:01,481 - (RUMBLING) - You couldn't have dug a bigger hole? 189 00:08:01,856 --> 00:08:03,399 Hamster, you're okay! 190 00:08:03,566 --> 00:08:05,610 Oh, did you dip the apple in ice water, 191 00:08:05,610 --> 00:08:07,236 then scream the secret into the cup? 192 00:08:08,362 --> 00:08:11,782 Well played. I suppose it's time for plan B, 193 00:08:11,866 --> 00:08:15,495 where every onion under my command bursts, 194 00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:17,914 drowning the world in tears. 195 00:08:18,623 --> 00:08:20,291 (SPEAKS SPANISH) 196 00:08:20,291 --> 00:08:24,378 It is time! 197 00:08:28,424 --> 00:08:31,594 Wait. You're gonna explode all the onions in the world? 198 00:08:31,594 --> 00:08:33,763 - That's terrible. - Aren't they your friends? 199 00:08:33,763 --> 00:08:36,057 They're my underlings, nothing more. 200 00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:40,895 You've never asked the onions what they think of your plans, have you? 201 00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:42,230 Of course not. 202 00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:43,856 Who cares what onions think? 203 00:08:44,273 --> 00:08:46,359 They're stupid, brainless vegetables. 204 00:08:46,692 --> 00:08:49,153 You don't really mean that, do you? 205 00:08:49,237 --> 00:08:50,488 I do really mean it. 206 00:08:50,488 --> 00:08:52,698 They literally have no brains. 207 00:08:52,823 --> 00:08:55,409 So when I say "burst," they'll burst. 208 00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:57,161 (SPEAKS SPANISH) 209 00:08:57,495 --> 00:08:58,496 Burst! 210 00:08:59,830 --> 00:09:02,625 I said, burst! 211 00:09:04,961 --> 00:09:06,671 What? What's going on? 212 00:09:06,921 --> 00:09:09,715 What, where are you going? Come back! 213 00:09:14,637 --> 00:09:15,680 I said no onions. 214 00:09:15,846 --> 00:09:17,098 I don't understand. 215 00:09:17,265 --> 00:09:19,058 Why won't they do as I say? 216 00:09:19,350 --> 00:09:20,476 You said it yourself. 217 00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:22,353 You spoke and the onions listened. 218 00:09:22,645 --> 00:09:24,272 They just didn't like what they heard. 219 00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:28,276 Ay... What a fool I was. 220 00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:31,612 I turned my back on my only audience. 221 00:09:31,696 --> 00:09:33,489 The onions were sweet. 222 00:09:33,990 --> 00:09:36,409 But La Cebolla was sour, 223 00:09:36,784 --> 00:09:41,080 and now I shall never know their pungent embrace again. 224 00:09:41,706 --> 00:09:43,374 (CRIES) Por que? 225 00:09:43,374 --> 00:09:44,542 (BOTH CRYING) 226 00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:47,587 Wow. 227 00:09:47,712 --> 00:09:49,130 I brought you to tears. 228 00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:52,341 Maybe I am a great actress. 229 00:09:53,175 --> 00:09:55,553 No, it's, it's just the onion stink. 230 00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:57,263 Onion punch! 231 00:09:58,014 --> 00:09:59,307 Copy that, over. 232 00:09:59,307 --> 00:10:02,893 Thanks, Hamster and Gretel and, um, random teenage boy. 233 00:10:02,977 --> 00:10:04,395 Take these handcuffs off me. 234 00:10:04,395 --> 00:10:05,730 Don't you know who I am? 235 00:10:05,730 --> 00:10:07,982 You were on that terrible telenovela. 236 00:10:07,982 --> 00:10:10,234 - Oh, a fan. - Watch the onion, ma'am. 237 00:10:11,319 --> 00:10:13,446 I don't know about you, but all that onion punching 238 00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:14,905 made me surprisingly hungry. 239 00:10:14,989 --> 00:10:15,990 Let's finish dinner. 240 00:10:15,990 --> 00:10:17,366 Huh? Oh, yeah. 241 00:10:17,658 --> 00:10:19,910 - What's up? - Nothing, it... It's just... 242 00:10:19,994 --> 00:10:21,871 Something about La Cebolla's origin. 243 00:10:22,246 --> 00:10:23,831 Power that came from the sky? 244 00:10:24,165 --> 00:10:25,166 What did that mean? 245 00:10:25,166 --> 00:10:27,501 Kevin, she said a lot of crazy things. 246 00:10:27,585 --> 00:10:30,338 The woman talked to onions. 247 00:10:30,338 --> 00:10:32,006 Good point. Let's go home. 248 00:10:32,381 --> 00:10:35,885 MALE ALIEN: Experiment 622H-108 complete. 249 00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:37,011 Results? 250 00:10:37,011 --> 00:10:38,596 - Failure. - FEMALE ALIEN: I'll say. 251 00:10:38,596 --> 00:10:42,725 So, who came up with the idea of talking to onions as a superpower? 252 00:10:42,725 --> 00:10:44,518 MALE ALIEN: Ah, they can't all be winners. 253 00:10:46,103 --> 00:10:48,105 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 254 00:10:58,157 --> 00:10:59,867 Hamster and Gretel 255 00:11:06,457 --> 00:11:08,626 It's Hamster 256 00:11:09,168 --> 00:11:10,753 Hamster and Gretel 257 00:11:10,803 --> 00:11:15,353 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 18809

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