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1
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You have cancer.
2
00:00:42,842 --> 00:00:46,790
Miss Bearing, you have
advanced metastatic ovarian cancer.
3
00:00:51,251 --> 00:00:52,389
Go on.
4
00:00:54,154 --> 00:00:57,863
- You are a professor, Miss Bearing.
- Like yourself, Dr. Kelekian.
5
00:00:57,957 --> 00:00:58,958
Why, yes.
6
00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:03,602
Now then, you present with a growth
that unfortunately went undetected...
7
00:01:03,763 --> 00:01:05,674
...in stages one, two, and three.
8
00:01:05,932 --> 00:01:09,277
- Now ii is an insidious adenocarcinoma-
insidious'?
9
00:01:10,470 --> 00:01:12,746
Insidious means undetectable at an early--
10
00:01:12,806 --> 00:01:14,843
Insidious means treacherous.
11
00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:18,181
- Shall I continue?
- By all means.
12
00:01:18,344 --> 00:01:19,345
Good.
13
00:01:19,512 --> 00:01:21,492
In invasive epithelial carcinoma...
14
00:01:21,548 --> 00:01:25,587
...the most effective treatment modality
is a chemotherapeutic agent.
15
00:01:25,718 --> 00:01:28,528
We are developing
an experimental combination of drugs...
16
00:01:28,588 --> 00:01:32,934
...designed for primary-site ovarian,
for the target specificity of stage three...
17
00:01:33,059 --> 00:01:34,936
...and beyond administration.
18
00:01:35,595 --> 00:01:36,835
Am I going too fast?
19
00:01:37,263 --> 00:01:38,367
No.
20
00:01:40,867 --> 00:01:44,815
You will be hospitalized
as an in-patient for treatment each cycle.
21
00:01:45,138 --> 00:01:48,847
After the initial eight cycles,
you will have another battery of tests.
22
00:01:49,175 --> 00:01:52,554
The antineoplastic will inevitably
affect some healthy cells...
23
00:01:52,612 --> 00:01:55,183
...including those lining
the gastrointestinal tract...
24
00:01:55,248 --> 00:01:57,660
...from the lips to the anus,
and the hair follicles.
25
00:01:57,750 --> 00:01:59,787
We will be relying on your resolve...
26
00:01:59,919 --> 00:02:02,695
...to withstand some of the more
pernicious side effects.
27
00:02:07,861 --> 00:02:09,499
I beg your pardon.
28
00:02:12,031 --> 00:02:14,978
- Do you have any questions so far'?
- Please, go on.
29
00:02:15,168 --> 00:02:20,049
- Perhaps some of these terms are new--
- No, you're being very thorough.
30
00:02:20,473 --> 00:02:23,716
I make a point of it.
I always emphasize it with my students.
31
00:02:23,843 --> 00:02:26,949
So do I. Thoroughness,
I always tell my students...
32
00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:30,755
...but, they are constitutionally
averse to painstaking work.
33
00:02:31,384 --> 00:02:33,921
- Yours too.
-It's worse every year.
34
00:02:34,087 --> 00:02:36,260
- Mine are blind.
- Mine are deaf.
35
00:02:36,589 --> 00:02:39,729
- You just have to hope.
- I suppose so.
36
00:02:42,729 --> 00:02:44,003
Where were we'?
37
00:02:44,264 --> 00:02:46,437
I believe I was being thoroughly diagnosed.
38
00:02:46,699 --> 00:02:47,734
Right.
39
00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:50,838
Now, the tumor is spreading very quickly.
40
00:02:51,237 --> 00:02:53,945
And this treatment is very aggressive.
41
00:02:54,440 --> 00:02:56,442
- So far, so good'?
- Yes.
42
00:02:57,544 --> 00:03:00,753
- Better not teach next semester.
- Out of the question.
43
00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:04,225
The first week of each cycle
you'll be hospitalized for chemotherapy.
44
00:03:04,350 --> 00:03:06,660
The next week you may feel a little tired.
45
00:03:06,819 --> 00:03:11,427
- The next two will be fine, relatively.
- Eight months like that.
46
00:03:11,624 --> 00:03:15,367
This treatment is the strongest thing
we have to offer you.
47
00:03:15,528 --> 00:03:19,499
And as research it'll make a significant
contribution to our knowledge.
48
00:03:19,999 --> 00:03:22,741
Knowledge. Yes.
49
00:03:23,403 --> 00:03:27,749
Here is the informed consent form.
50
00:03:27,974 --> 00:03:32,013
Should you agree,
you sign there, at the bottom.
51
00:03:42,722 --> 00:03:45,601
Is there a family member
you want me to explain this to?
52
00:03:45,792 --> 00:03:47,533
That won't be necessary.
53
00:03:47,727 --> 00:03:49,104
Good.
54
00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:52,676
The important thing is for you to take
the full dose of chemotherapy.
55
00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:56,942
There may be times when you wish
for a lesser dose, due to the side effects.
56
00:03:57,070 --> 00:03:59,311
But we've got to go full force.
57
00:04:01,274 --> 00:04:03,185
- Dr. Bearing?
- Yes.
58
00:04:04,177 --> 00:04:05,781
You must be very tough.
59
00:04:06,479 --> 00:04:08,959
Do you think you can be very tough?
60
00:04:09,849 --> 00:04:11,590
You needn't worry.
61
00:04:11,851 --> 00:04:12,886
Good.
62
00:04:14,420 --> 00:04:15,990
Excellent.
63
00:04:26,599 --> 00:04:28,670
I should have asked more questions.
64
00:04:28,768 --> 00:04:31,305
Because I knew
there was going to be a test.
65
00:04:35,074 --> 00:04:38,283
- Hi, how you feeling today?
- Fine.
66
00:04:39,312 --> 00:04:42,418
Great. That's just great.
67
00:04:45,151 --> 00:04:47,995
This is not my standard greeting,
I assure you.
68
00:04:48,721 --> 00:04:51,065
I tend toward something
a little more formal...
69
00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:53,195
...a little less inquisitive.
70
00:04:53,893 --> 00:04:56,066
Such as, say, "Hello."
71
00:04:57,263 --> 00:05:01,006
But it is the standard greeting here,
so I just say, "Fine."
72
00:05:03,169 --> 00:05:06,082
Of course, it is not very often
that I do feel fine.
73
00:05:09,509 --> 00:05:14,458
I've been asked, "How are you feeling?"
while throwing up into a plastic washbasin.
74
00:05:15,081 --> 00:05:16,651
I have been asked...
75
00:05:16,883 --> 00:05:20,194
...as I was emerging
from a four-hour operation...
76
00:05:20,386 --> 00:05:22,798
...with a tube in every orifice:
77
00:05:23,222 --> 00:05:25,463
"How are you feeling today?"
78
00:05:25,725 --> 00:05:29,400
I'm waiting for the moment when
I'm asked this question and I'm dead.
79
00:05:31,130 --> 00:05:33,701
I'm a little sorry I'll miss that.
80
00:05:38,504 --> 00:05:40,211
I have cancer.
81
00:05:40,373 --> 00:05:43,354
Insidious cancer,
with pernicious side effects.
82
00:05:43,743 --> 00:05:46,519
No, the treatment
has pernicious side effects.
83
00:05:50,717 --> 00:05:55,462
I have stage four
metastatic ovarian cancer.
84
00:05:56,389 --> 00:05:59,131
There is no stage five.
85
00:06:00,093 --> 00:06:02,699
And I have to be very tough.
86
00:06:03,963 --> 00:06:07,342
It appears to be a matter,
as the saying goes...
87
00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:09,609
...of life and death.
88
00:06:10,770 --> 00:06:13,011
I know all about life and death.
89
00:06:14,006 --> 00:06:18,318
I am, after all,
a professor of 17th century poetry...
90
00:06:18,444 --> 00:06:21,618
...specializing in
the Holy Sonnets of John Donne...
91
00:06:23,316 --> 00:06:25,660
...which explore mortality
in greater depth...
92
00:06:25,852 --> 00:06:28,264
...than any body of work
in the English language.
93
00:06:28,321 --> 00:06:30,597
And I know for a fact that I am tough.
94
00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:33,295
A demanding professor.
95
00:06:33,893 --> 00:06:35,429
Uncompromising.
96
00:06:35,762 --> 00:06:38,140
Never one to turn from a challenge.
97
00:06:38,498 --> 00:06:41,502
That is why I chose to study John Donne...
98
00:06:42,735 --> 00:06:45,978
...while a student
of the great E.M. Ashford.
99
00:06:50,508 --> 00:06:51,782
Oh, yes.
100
00:06:54,779 --> 00:06:57,350
Your essay on Holy Sonnet VI...
101
00:06:57,415 --> 00:07:00,453
...is a melodrama with a veneer
of scholarship unworthy of you...
102
00:07:00,518 --> 00:07:02,589
...to say nothing of Donne. Do it again.
103
00:07:03,922 --> 00:07:08,166
Begin with the text, Miss Bearing,
not with a feeling.
104
00:07:09,294 --> 00:07:11,171
"Death be not proud
105
00:07:11,229 --> 00:07:14,938
"Though some have called thee
mighty and dreadful, for
106
00:07:15,366 --> 00:07:17,312
"Thou art not so"
107
00:07:17,735 --> 00:07:19,681
You've missed the point of the poem...
108
00:07:19,737 --> 00:07:22,308
...because you've used
an edition of the text...
109
00:07:22,440 --> 00:07:24,511
...that is inauthentically punctuated.
110
00:07:24,909 --> 00:07:27,549
- In the Gardner edition--
- That edition was checked out--
111
00:07:27,612 --> 00:07:29,592
- Miss Bearing?
- Sorry.
112
00:07:30,581 --> 00:07:32,151
You take this too lightly.
113
00:07:32,417 --> 00:07:35,227
This is metaphysical poetry,
not the modern novel.
114
00:07:35,787 --> 00:07:38,267
The standards of scholarship
and critical reading...
115
00:07:38,323 --> 00:07:41,668
...which one would apply to any other text
are simply insufficient.
116
00:07:41,926 --> 00:07:45,396
The effort must be total
for the results to be meaningful.
117
00:07:47,732 --> 00:07:51,373
Do you think that the punctuation
of the last line of this sonnet...
118
00:07:51,436 --> 00:07:53,916
...is merely an insignificant detail?
119
00:07:55,740 --> 00:07:58,721
The sonnet begins with
a valiant struggle with death...
120
00:07:58,776 --> 00:08:01,450
...calling on all the forces
of intellect and drama...
121
00:08:01,579 --> 00:08:03,456
...to vanquish the enemy.
122
00:08:03,982 --> 00:08:08,362
But it is ultimately about overcoming
the seemingly insuperable barriers...
123
00:08:08,486 --> 00:08:12,059
...separating life, death and eternal life.
124
00:08:14,025 --> 00:08:17,996
In the edition you chose,
this profoundly simple meaning...
125
00:08:18,062 --> 00:08:20,702
...is sacrificed to hysterical punctuation.
126
00:08:22,133 --> 00:08:24,477
"And Death" capital D...
127
00:08:24,635 --> 00:08:27,411
..."shall be no more;" semi-colon...
128
00:08:28,072 --> 00:08:30,313
..."Death," capital D, comma...
129
00:08:30,508 --> 00:08:33,853
..."thou shalt die!", exclamation mark.
130
00:08:35,279 --> 00:08:39,091
If you go in for this sort of thing
I suggest you take up Shakespeare.
131
00:08:39,884 --> 00:08:41,693
Gardner's edition of the Holy Sonnets...
132
00:08:41,753 --> 00:08:45,428
...returns to the Westmoreland
manuscript source of 1610.
133
00:08:45,556 --> 00:08:47,968
Not for sentimental reasons, I assure you...
134
00:08:48,092 --> 00:08:51,562
...but because Helen Gardner is a scholar.
135
00:08:52,730 --> 00:08:54,300
It reads:
136
00:08:55,633 --> 00:08:58,477
"And death shall be no more," comma...
137
00:08:59,170 --> 00:09:01,582
..."Death thou shalt die."
138
00:09:02,040 --> 00:09:04,316
Nothing but a breath, a comma...
139
00:09:04,375 --> 00:09:07,720
...separates life from life everlasting.
140
00:09:08,780 --> 00:09:10,316
Very simple, really.
141
00:09:10,415 --> 00:09:13,828
With the original punctuation restored,
death is no longer something...
142
00:09:13,918 --> 00:09:17,422
...to act out on a stage
with exclamation marks.
143
00:09:18,256 --> 00:09:21,669
It is a comma. A pause.
144
00:09:22,827 --> 00:09:25,307
In this way, the uncompromising way...
145
00:09:25,463 --> 00:09:28,137
...one learns something
from the poem, wouldn't you say'?
146
00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:32,209
Life, death, soul, God...
147
00:09:32,503 --> 00:09:34,676
...past, present.
148
00:09:35,239 --> 00:09:37,241
Not insuperable barriers.
149
00:09:38,109 --> 00:09:40,487
Not semicolons.
150
00:09:41,712 --> 00:09:42,952
Just a comma.
151
00:09:44,515 --> 00:09:48,258
Life, death, I see.
152
00:09:50,154 --> 00:09:52,395
It's a metaphysical conceit, it's wit.
153
00:09:52,457 --> 00:09:56,462
- I'll go back to the library--
-it is not wit, Miss Bearing, it is truth.
154
00:09:56,527 --> 00:09:57,870
The paper's not the point.
155
00:09:58,596 --> 00:09:59,836
Isn't it?
156
00:10:00,765 --> 00:10:03,712
Vivian, you're a bright young woman.
157
00:10:04,569 --> 00:10:06,446
Use your intelligence.
158
00:10:06,871 --> 00:10:09,977
Don't go back to the library, go out.
159
00:10:10,241 --> 00:10:12,881
Enjoy yourself with friends.
160
00:10:20,151 --> 00:10:23,598
I went outside.
161
00:10:24,222 --> 00:10:25,860
It was a warm day.
162
00:10:27,225 --> 00:10:32,197
There were students on the lawn
talking about nothing, laughing.
163
00:10:33,631 --> 00:10:35,770
Simple human truth.
164
00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:40,109
Uncompromising scholarly standards.
165
00:10:41,772 --> 00:10:43,581
They're connected.
166
00:10:44,142 --> 00:10:46,418
I just couldn't...
167
00:10:49,914 --> 00:10:52,224
I went back to the library.
168
00:10:53,784 --> 00:10:55,354
Anyway...
169
00:10:56,854 --> 00:10:58,891
All right.
170
00:11:00,024 --> 00:11:03,403
"Significant contribution to knowledge."
171
00:11:04,962 --> 00:11:07,738
"Eight cycles of chemotherapy."
172
00:11:09,100 --> 00:11:10,841
Give me the full dose.
173
00:11:11,135 --> 00:11:14,048
The full dose every time.
174
00:11:17,842 --> 00:11:20,288
The attention was flattering...
175
00:11:20,978 --> 00:11:23,390
...for the first five minutes.
176
00:11:37,094 --> 00:11:39,199
- Name'?
- My name?
177
00:11:39,830 --> 00:11:41,867
Vivian Bearing.
178
00:11:43,534 --> 00:11:46,014
Bearing. B-e-a-r-i-n-g.
179
00:11:46,270 --> 00:11:48,307
Vivian. V-i-v-i-a-n.
180
00:11:49,307 --> 00:11:51,753
- Doctor?
- Yes, I have a Ph.D.
181
00:11:53,010 --> 00:11:54,489
Your doctor?
182
00:11:56,113 --> 00:11:58,024
Dr. Harvey Kelekian.
183
00:12:08,025 --> 00:12:10,767
I am a doctor of philosophy.
184
00:12:11,229 --> 00:12:13,607
Take a deep breath and hold it.
185
00:12:15,499 --> 00:12:16,705
Okay-
186
00:12:17,034 --> 00:12:19,514
A scholar of 17th century poetry.
187
00:12:19,837 --> 00:12:22,443
Arms above your head, and hold it.
188
00:12:24,375 --> 00:12:25,547
Okay-
189
00:12:26,210 --> 00:12:30,625
I have made an immeasurable contribution
to the discipline of English literature.
190
00:12:30,948 --> 00:12:34,691
I am, in short, a force.
191
00:12:34,919 --> 00:12:36,227
Okay, that's it.
192
00:12:36,587 --> 00:12:37,793
Name?
193
00:12:38,155 --> 00:12:40,635
Lucy, Countess of Bedford.
194
00:12:42,126 --> 00:12:45,129
- I don't see it here.
- My name is Vivian Bearing.
195
00:12:45,130 --> 00:12:45,164
- I don't see it here.
- My name is Vivian Bearing.
196
00:12:45,263 --> 00:12:48,574
B-e-a-r-i-n-g. Dr. Kelekian is my doctor.
197
00:12:48,933 --> 00:12:51,277
Okay, lie down.
198
00:13:04,149 --> 00:13:06,789
After an astounding undergraduate career...
199
00:13:07,085 --> 00:13:09,793
...I studied for three years
with Prof. E.M. Ashford...
200
00:13:09,854 --> 00:13:12,562
...during which I learned
by instruction and example...
201
00:13:12,690 --> 00:13:15,296
...what it means to be
a scholar of distinction.
202
00:13:15,426 --> 00:13:17,963
As a research Fellow, my principal task...
203
00:13:18,096 --> 00:13:23,102
...was the alphabetizing of index cards
for Ashford's monumental critical edition...
204
00:13:23,601 --> 00:13:27,879
...of Donne's
Devotions Upon Emergent Occasions.
205
00:13:28,706 --> 00:13:31,380
I am thanked in the preface.
206
00:13:32,076 --> 00:13:36,786
"Miss Vivian Bearing,
for her able assistance."
207
00:13:43,087 --> 00:13:44,566
Thank you.
208
00:13:51,396 --> 00:13:53,307
Where's your wheelchair?
209
00:13:54,165 --> 00:13:57,271
I do not know. I was busy, just now.
210
00:13:57,502 --> 00:13:59,641
How you gonna get outta here?
211
00:13:59,971 --> 00:14:02,542
- I could walk.
-It's not permitted.
212
00:14:03,341 --> 00:14:06,185
I do not know,
perhaps you would like me to stay?
213
00:14:06,778 --> 00:14:09,190
I guess I gotta go find you a chair.
214
00:14:10,748 --> 00:14:13,422
Don't inconvenience yourself on my behalf.
215
00:14:19,724 --> 00:14:21,362
Miss Bearing, this is Jason Posner.
216
00:14:21,426 --> 00:14:24,896
He's gonna do your medical history
and ask you a few questions.
217
00:14:25,129 --> 00:14:26,870
He's Dr. Kelekian's Fellow.
218
00:14:27,065 --> 00:14:30,603
I'm Dr. Posner, clinical Fellow
at the medical oncology branch...
219
00:14:30,668 --> 00:14:32,341
...working with Dr. Kelekian.
220
00:14:32,403 --> 00:14:33,677
Sit over here, please.
221
00:14:33,771 --> 00:14:36,980
Prof. Bearing,
I was a student at the university.
222
00:14:37,475 --> 00:14:40,581
- Took your course in 17th century poetry.
- Did you?
223
00:14:40,645 --> 00:14:42,283
Yes, I thought it was excellent.
224
00:14:42,780 --> 00:14:43,918
Thank you.
225
00:14:43,982 --> 00:14:47,088
- Were you an English major?
- No, biochemistry.
226
00:14:47,151 --> 00:14:49,893
You can't get into med school
unless you're well-rounded.
227
00:14:50,121 --> 00:14:53,500
I bet with myselfl could get an A
in the three hardest courses.
228
00:14:53,625 --> 00:14:54,729
How'd you do'?
229
00:14:54,993 --> 00:14:57,269
- Success.
- Really?
230
00:14:57,395 --> 00:15:00,865
A-minus. It was a very tough course.
231
00:15:03,501 --> 00:15:05,674
- Yeah, I'll call you.
- Okay.
232
00:15:09,307 --> 00:15:11,617
I'll just wheel this over.
233
00:15:12,877 --> 00:15:16,984
Okay, I'm going to be taking your history...
234
00:15:17,248 --> 00:15:20,229
...which is a medical interview,
and then I give you an exam.
235
00:15:20,418 --> 00:15:23,160
I believe Dr. Kelekian
has already done that.
236
00:15:23,521 --> 00:15:26,263
I know, but Dr. Kelekian
wanted me to do one too.
237
00:15:26,758 --> 00:15:27,828
Very well.
238
00:15:28,159 --> 00:15:30,435
Okay, let's just get started.
239
00:15:30,928 --> 00:15:32,930
- How are you feeling today?
- Fine, thank you.
240
00:15:32,997 --> 00:15:35,170
- And how's your general health?
- Fine.
241
00:15:35,300 --> 00:15:36,506
Good.
242
00:15:37,101 --> 00:15:40,082
- We know that you're an academic.
- Yes, we've established that.
243
00:15:40,138 --> 00:15:42,982
- So we don't need to talk about your work.
- No.
244
00:15:44,809 --> 00:15:46,311
- How old are you?
-48.
245
00:15:46,377 --> 00:15:47,981
- Are you married?
- No.
246
00:15:48,046 --> 00:15:49,423
- Are your parents living?
- No.
247
00:15:49,480 --> 00:15:51,084
How and when did they die?
248
00:15:51,215 --> 00:15:55,129
My father, suddenly,
of a heart attack when I was 21.
249
00:15:55,286 --> 00:16:00,326
My mother, slowly, when I was 41 or 42.
Of breast cancer.
250
00:16:00,458 --> 00:16:01,960
- Cancer?
- Breast cancer.
251
00:16:02,493 --> 00:16:05,406
- I see. Any siblings?
- No.
252
00:16:05,530 --> 00:16:07,737
And now your past medical history.
253
00:16:07,799 --> 00:16:12,145
- Have you ever been hospitalized?
- I had my tonsils out when I was eight.
254
00:16:12,337 --> 00:16:14,374
- Have you ever been pregnant?
- No.
255
00:16:14,539 --> 00:16:15,677
- Heart murmurs?
- No.
256
00:16:15,740 --> 00:16:17,219
- High blood pressure?
- No.
257
00:16:17,308 --> 00:16:19,652
- Venereal diseases, uterine infections--
- No.
258
00:16:19,777 --> 00:16:23,520
- Thyroid, diabetes, cancer--
- No. Cancer, yes.
259
00:16:23,781 --> 00:16:25,624
- When?
- Now.
260
00:16:26,918 --> 00:16:30,229
- Not including now.
- In that case, no.
261
00:16:31,189 --> 00:16:32,259
Okay-
262
00:16:33,024 --> 00:16:35,698
Clinical depression, nervous breakdown,
suicide attempts--
263
00:16:35,793 --> 00:16:36,794
No.
264
00:16:36,994 --> 00:16:38,337
- Do you smoke?
- No.
265
00:16:38,429 --> 00:16:41,035
- Ethanol.
- I beg your pardon?
266
00:16:41,466 --> 00:16:43,070
Alcohol.
267
00:16:43,968 --> 00:16:47,575
- Ethanol. Yes, I drink wine.
- How much, how often?
268
00:16:47,638 --> 00:16:52,178
A glass, with dinner, occasionally,
and perhaps a scotch every now and then.
269
00:16:52,343 --> 00:16:54,687
- Do you use any substances?
- Such as?
270
00:16:54,746 --> 00:16:57,852
Marijuana, cocaine, crack cocaine,
PCP, ecstasy, poppers--
271
00:16:57,982 --> 00:16:59,052
No.
272
00:17:00,084 --> 00:17:02,325
- Do you drink caffeinated beverages?
- Yes.
273
00:17:02,587 --> 00:17:05,193
- Which ones?
- Coffee, a few cups a day.
274
00:17:05,923 --> 00:17:09,496
- How many?
- Two to six.
275
00:17:09,927 --> 00:17:11,873
But I don't think that's immoderate.
276
00:17:11,929 --> 00:17:14,068
How often do you have
routine medical checkups?
277
00:17:14,132 --> 00:17:18,012
Not as often as I should probably,
but I've felt fine, I really have.
278
00:17:19,170 --> 00:17:23,050
- So, the answer is?
- Every three to five years.
279
00:17:24,375 --> 00:17:26,651
What do you do for exercise'?
280
00:17:27,078 --> 00:17:28,250
Pace.
281
00:17:30,581 --> 00:17:34,256
- Are you having sexual relations?
- Not at the moment.
282
00:17:35,820 --> 00:17:38,357
- Are you pre or post-menopausal'?
- Post.
283
00:17:38,756 --> 00:17:42,169
- When did your periods stop?
- About two years ago.
284
00:17:43,327 --> 00:17:44,738
Okay-
285
00:17:46,731 --> 00:17:48,972
When did you first notice
your present complaint?
286
00:17:49,033 --> 00:17:51,240
- This time, now?
- Yes.
287
00:17:52,003 --> 00:17:56,918
About four months ago, I felt a pain
in my stomach, in my abdomen...
288
00:17:57,308 --> 00:17:59,310
...like a cramp, but not the same.
289
00:17:59,377 --> 00:18:01,357
- How did it feel?
-Like a cramp.
290
00:18:01,412 --> 00:18:04,256
- But not the same'?
- Duller and stronger, I can't describe it.
291
00:18:05,550 --> 00:18:08,531
- What happened next?
- I don't know...
292
00:18:08,653 --> 00:18:13,227
...I started noticing my body, little things.
I would be teaching and feel a sharp pain.
293
00:18:13,291 --> 00:18:14,292
What kind of pain?
294
00:18:14,459 --> 00:18:15,904
Sharp...
295
00:18:16,360 --> 00:18:17,668
...and sudden.
296
00:18:17,929 --> 00:18:20,739
Then it would go away,
or, I would be tired...
297
00:18:21,032 --> 00:18:23,478
Exhausted. I was working
on a major project...
298
00:18:23,534 --> 00:18:25,172
...the article on John Donne...
299
00:18:25,236 --> 00:18:27,739
...for the Oxford Encyclopedia
of English Literature.
300
00:18:27,872 --> 00:18:31,046
It was a great honor,
but I had a very strict deadline.
301
00:18:31,175 --> 00:18:34,679
- Were you under stress?
- It wasn't much more stress than usual...
302
00:18:34,745 --> 00:18:36,816
...I just couldn't withstand it this time.
303
00:18:36,914 --> 00:18:38,222
So...
304
00:18:39,550 --> 00:18:43,828
I went to see Dr. Chin, my gynecologist,
after I'd turned in the article.
305
00:18:43,955 --> 00:18:46,731
She examined me,
sent me to Jefferson, the internist...
306
00:18:46,791 --> 00:18:50,170
...who sent me to Kelekian
because he thought I might have a tumor.
307
00:18:51,395 --> 00:18:53,466
- And that's it.
- Till now.
308
00:18:54,732 --> 00:18:57,300
That's very interesting.
309
00:18:57,301 --> 00:18:57,335
That's very interesting.
310
00:18:58,335 --> 00:19:00,337
I guess we'll start the exam.
311
00:19:00,771 --> 00:19:05,447
Why don't you just sort of lie back
and relax.
312
00:19:07,077 --> 00:19:09,284
Won't take a minute.
313
00:19:17,821 --> 00:19:19,926
Let me get this sheet.
314
00:19:20,557 --> 00:19:21,968
Here.
315
00:19:23,327 --> 00:19:24,567
Okay-
316
00:19:26,697 --> 00:19:28,472
Yeah, just...
317
00:19:34,638 --> 00:19:36,675
Feet in the stirrups here.
318
00:19:37,507 --> 00:19:38,645
Okay-
319
00:19:44,314 --> 00:19:45,384
Okay-
320
00:19:48,085 --> 00:19:50,429
Could you just-yeah.
321
00:19:51,054 --> 00:19:52,931
There. Okay.
322
00:19:53,590 --> 00:19:55,263
Good, okay.
323
00:19:59,996 --> 00:20:00,997
Okay-
324
00:20:03,467 --> 00:20:05,037
I've got to go get Susie.
325
00:20:06,703 --> 00:20:10,412
I've got to have a girl here,
some crazy, clinical rule.
326
00:20:10,640 --> 00:20:12,779
Don't move, I'll be right back.
327
00:20:19,549 --> 00:20:22,086
I wish I had given him an A.
328
00:20:28,258 --> 00:20:31,728
Two times one is two.
Two times two is four.
329
00:20:31,895 --> 00:20:33,636
Two times three is six.
330
00:20:47,978 --> 00:20:50,015
"Death be not proud
331
00:20:50,247 --> 00:20:52,989
"Though some have called thee
mighty and dreadful
332
00:20:54,117 --> 00:20:57,098
"For, thou art not so
333
00:20:57,854 --> 00:21:02,303
"For, those whom thou think'st,
thou dost overthrow
334
00:21:02,559 --> 00:21:05,199
"Die not, poor death
335
00:21:05,829 --> 00:21:08,708
"Nor yet canst thou kill me"
336
00:21:10,267 --> 00:21:12,372
Has anybody seen Susie?
337
00:21:19,409 --> 00:21:22,015
"One short sleep past
338
00:21:22,512 --> 00:21:24,492
"We wake eternally
339
00:21:25,282 --> 00:21:27,785
"And death shall be no more,"...
340
00:21:28,418 --> 00:21:30,193
...comma.
341
00:21:30,787 --> 00:21:34,291
"Death thou shalt die"
342
00:21:37,694 --> 00:21:39,640
Okay, here's everything.
343
00:21:39,763 --> 00:21:43,267
- Why did you leave her like this?
- I had to find you, now come on.
344
00:21:43,733 --> 00:21:45,770
We're ready, Prof. Bearing.
345
00:21:46,002 --> 00:21:47,709
Just get this on.
346
00:21:51,875 --> 00:21:54,253
All right.
347
00:21:55,078 --> 00:21:56,921
Just get this up.
348
00:21:57,547 --> 00:21:58,958
Just relax.
349
00:22:03,520 --> 00:22:04,590
Okay-
350
00:22:04,721 --> 00:22:07,600
Isn't that interesting, Susie,
thatl had Prof. Bearing?
351
00:22:07,724 --> 00:22:10,204
Yeah. I wish I had taken some literature.
352
00:22:10,360 --> 00:22:12,306
I don't know anything about poetry.
353
00:22:12,362 --> 00:22:14,638
Prof. Bearing was
highly regarded on campus.
354
00:22:14,698 --> 00:22:17,338
Her course looked very good
on my transcript.
355
00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:20,506
They even asked me about it
in my interview to medical school.
356
00:22:20,904 --> 00:22:23,111
- Jesus.
- What?
357
00:22:23,273 --> 00:22:24,877
What?
358
00:22:25,475 --> 00:22:28,183
Yeah, I survived Bearing's course.
Yeah, no problem.
359
00:22:28,445 --> 00:22:30,755
Yeah, John Donne,
those metaphysical poets?
360
00:22:30,881 --> 00:22:34,795
That metaphysical wit.
Hardest poetry in the English department.
361
00:22:35,018 --> 00:22:37,328
Like to see them try biochemistry.
362
00:22:37,787 --> 00:22:38,788
Okay-
363
00:22:39,289 --> 00:22:42,361
We're almost done, all right. Yeah, okay.
364
00:22:44,728 --> 00:22:47,004
That's it, we're done.
365
00:22:49,533 --> 00:22:51,035
L gotta go-
366
00:22:51,535 --> 00:22:54,948
Take her feet out. Yeah.
367
00:23:11,021 --> 00:23:12,625
Thank you.
368
00:23:15,058 --> 00:23:16,765
I'm just gonna...
369
00:23:42,819 --> 00:23:44,730
That was...
370
00:23:45,455 --> 00:23:46,627
...hard.
371
00:23:48,391 --> 00:23:49,995
That was...
372
00:23:55,465 --> 00:23:56,967
One thing that can be said...
373
00:23:57,033 --> 00:23:59,536
...for an eight-month course
of cancer treatment:
374
00:23:59,603 --> 00:24:03,176
It is highly educational.
375
00:24:03,707 --> 00:24:05,880
I am learning to suffer.
376
00:24:08,011 --> 00:24:12,824
Yes, it is mildly uncomfortable
to have an electrocardiogram, but...
377
00:24:13,149 --> 00:24:17,427
...the agony of a colonoscopy
sweeps it from memory.
378
00:24:18,989 --> 00:24:22,960
Yes, it was embarrassing
to have to wear a nightgown all daylong.
379
00:24:23,426 --> 00:24:24,962
Two nightgowns.
380
00:24:25,629 --> 00:24:30,669
But that seemed like a positive privilege
compared to watching myself go bald.
381
00:24:31,668 --> 00:24:35,582
Yes, having a former student
give me a pelvic exam...
382
00:24:35,972 --> 00:24:38,816
...was thoroughly...
383
00:24:39,175 --> 00:24:40,586
...degrading.
384
00:24:40,777 --> 00:24:43,223
And I use the term deliberately.
385
00:24:44,180 --> 00:24:45,318
But...
386
00:24:45,749 --> 00:24:50,749
...I could not have imagined
the depths of humiliation...
387
00:24:51,321 --> 00:24:51,355
...I could not have imagined
the depths of humiliation...
388
00:25:07,637 --> 00:25:09,014
Oh, God.
389
00:25:10,373 --> 00:25:11,716
Please...
390
00:25:17,647 --> 00:25:18,853
Steady.
391
00:25:20,049 --> 00:25:21,585
Steady.
392
00:25:22,885 --> 00:25:24,592
Oh, God.
393
00:25:35,298 --> 00:25:37,403
What's left?
394
00:25:39,035 --> 00:25:41,641
I haven't eaten in two days.
395
00:25:42,505 --> 00:25:44,951
What's left to puke?
396
00:25:56,285 --> 00:26:00,290
You may remark that my vocabulary
has taken a turn for the Anglo-Saxon.
397
00:26:03,126 --> 00:26:05,572
God, I'm gonna barf my brains out.
398
00:26:12,602 --> 00:26:15,549
If I did actually barf my brains out...
399
00:26:18,741 --> 00:26:21,312
...it would be a great loss to my discipline.
400
00:26:22,044 --> 00:26:24,456
Of course, many of my colleagues
would be relieved...
401
00:26:24,514 --> 00:26:26,994
...to say nothing of my students.
402
00:26:27,984 --> 00:26:30,555
It's not that I'm controversial.
403
00:26:31,754 --> 00:26:34,064
Just uncompromising.
404
00:26:43,366 --> 00:26:45,004
False alarm.
405
00:26:51,507 --> 00:26:55,649
If the word went around that
Vivian Bearing had barfed her brains out...
406
00:26:56,646 --> 00:26:59,957
...first my colleagues,
most of whom are my former students...
407
00:27:01,117 --> 00:27:03,859
...would scramble madly for my position.
408
00:27:03,986 --> 00:27:06,398
And then their consciences would flare up.
409
00:27:06,456 --> 00:27:09,596
So to honor my memory,
they'd put together a collection...
410
00:27:09,659 --> 00:27:12,105
...of their essays about John Donne.
411
00:27:13,763 --> 00:27:17,176
The volume would begin
with a warm introduction...
412
00:27:17,233 --> 00:27:19,645
...capturing my most endearing qualities.
413
00:27:19,702 --> 00:27:23,149
It would be short but sweet.
414
00:27:24,874 --> 00:27:26,854
Published and perished.
415
00:27:29,679 --> 00:27:33,149
Now, watch this.
416
00:27:33,683 --> 00:27:36,061
I have to ring the bell.
417
00:27:39,255 --> 00:27:42,259
How you doing, Miss Bearing?
You having some nausea'?
418
00:27:42,758 --> 00:27:46,228
- Yes.
- Okay, I'll be with you in a second.
419
00:27:47,096 --> 00:27:51,738
Someone has to come and
measure this emesis...
420
00:27:51,868 --> 00:27:54,872
...and record it on a chart
of my intake and output.
421
00:27:55,972 --> 00:27:58,111
This counts as output.
422
00:28:07,750 --> 00:28:09,991
It's about 300 ccs.
423
00:28:11,087 --> 00:28:12,327
Is that all?
424
00:28:14,123 --> 00:28:16,103
It was very hard work.
425
00:28:18,094 --> 00:28:19,903
Yeah, it's 300.
426
00:28:20,863 --> 00:28:22,001
Good guess.
427
00:28:24,300 --> 00:28:25,506
Okay-
428
00:28:26,068 --> 00:28:29,379
There anything else I can get you?
You want some Jello or something?
429
00:28:29,438 --> 00:28:31,076
Thank you, no.
430
00:28:33,976 --> 00:28:37,549
- Are you okay all by yourself in here?
- Yes.
431
00:28:38,281 --> 00:28:40,761
Not having a lot of visitors, are you?
432
00:28:41,284 --> 00:28:42,592
None...
433
00:28:43,553 --> 00:28:44,691
...to be precise.
434
00:28:45,021 --> 00:28:46,625
I didn't think so.
435
00:28:47,557 --> 00:28:50,504
Is there somebody you want me to call,
or something?
436
00:28:51,027 --> 00:28:54,839
That won't be necessary.
I don't want visitors.
437
00:28:55,298 --> 00:28:56,743
Okay-
438
00:28:56,799 --> 00:28:58,369
I'll tell you what.
439
00:28:59,335 --> 00:29:02,282
I'll come in every once in a while
to see how you're doing.
440
00:29:02,338 --> 00:29:06,184
Make sure you're okay.
If you need anything, you just ring.
441
00:29:06,375 --> 00:29:07,945
Thank you.
442
00:29:10,046 --> 00:29:11,252
Okay-
443
00:29:16,385 --> 00:29:17,921
You just call.
444
00:29:56,559 --> 00:29:58,061
Do not forget...
445
00:29:58,127 --> 00:30:01,438
...that you are seeing
the most interesting aspects...
446
00:30:01,497 --> 00:30:05,707
...of my tenure as an in-patient
receiving experimental chemotherapy...
447
00:30:05,768 --> 00:30:08,647
...tor advanced metastatic ovarian cancer.
448
00:30:10,740 --> 00:30:13,880
But as I am a scholar Heel obliged...
449
00:30:14,243 --> 00:30:17,656
...to document what it is like here
most of the time...
450
00:30:17,713 --> 00:30:20,660
...between the dramatic climaxes.
451
00:30:21,917 --> 00:30:25,091
In truth, it is like this:
452
00:30:26,689 --> 00:30:29,226
You cannot imagine...
453
00:30:29,492 --> 00:30:33,406
...how time can be so still.
454
00:30:34,430 --> 00:30:36,501
It hangs.
455
00:30:37,600 --> 00:30:39,841
It weighs.
456
00:30:40,202 --> 00:30:43,046
And yet there is so little of it.
457
00:30:43,606 --> 00:30:46,246
It goes so slowly.
458
00:30:47,176 --> 00:30:49,679
And yet it is so scarce.
459
00:30:51,981 --> 00:30:55,793
If I were writing this scene
it would last a full 15 minutes.
460
00:30:55,851 --> 00:30:59,663
I would lie here and you would sit there.
461
00:31:05,094 --> 00:31:06,596
Not to worry:
462
00:31:07,897 --> 00:31:10,639
"Brevity is the soul of wit."
463
00:31:12,635 --> 00:31:14,012
But...
464
00:31:14,070 --> 00:31:18,678
...if you think eight months of cancer
treatment is tedious for all of you...
465
00:31:19,675 --> 00:31:22,485
...consider how it feels to play my part.
466
00:31:26,282 --> 00:31:28,057
All right.
467
00:31:28,718 --> 00:31:30,994
Let's say it's Friday morning.
468
00:31:31,987 --> 00:31:34,831
"Grand rounds" is what they call it.
469
00:31:36,358 --> 00:31:37,860
Action!
470
00:31:40,629 --> 00:31:43,132
- Dr. Bearing.
- Dr. Kelekian.
471
00:31:43,399 --> 00:31:44,901
How are you feeling today?
472
00:31:44,967 --> 00:31:47,140
- Fine.
- Great, just great.
473
00:31:47,570 --> 00:31:48,936
Very late detection,
stage is four upon admission.
474
00:31:48,937 --> 00:31:50,143
Very late detection,
stage is four upon admission.
475
00:31:50,204 --> 00:31:52,878
Hexamethophosphacil
with Vinplatin to potentiate.
476
00:31:53,107 --> 00:31:56,919
Hex at 300 milligrams per meter squared,
Vin at 100.
477
00:31:57,378 --> 00:31:59,756
Today is cycle four, day three.
478
00:31:59,948 --> 00:32:02,155
All cycles are at the full dose.
479
00:32:02,383 --> 00:32:05,193
Primary site is here, behind the left ovary.
480
00:32:05,253 --> 00:32:07,756
Metastases are suspected
in the peritoneal cavity...
481
00:32:07,822 --> 00:32:09,358
...mainly in this area here.
482
00:32:09,524 --> 00:32:12,733
Full lymphatic involvement.
At the time of first-look surgery...
483
00:32:12,827 --> 00:32:14,864
...a large part of the tumor was de-bulked...
484
00:32:14,929 --> 00:32:17,876
...mainly in this area here.
Left and right ovaries...
485
00:32:17,932 --> 00:32:19,969
...fallopian tubes, uterus, all out.
486
00:32:20,735 --> 00:32:22,442
Evidence of primary-site shrinkage.
487
00:32:22,503 --> 00:32:25,074
Shrinking in metastases
has not been documented.
488
00:32:25,139 --> 00:32:28,484
Primary mass frankly palpable,
in pelvic exam...
489
00:32:29,444 --> 00:32:30,980
...all through here.
490
00:32:31,412 --> 00:32:34,518
Excellent command of details. Okay.
491
00:32:34,983 --> 00:32:36,860
Problem areas with Hex and Vin'?
492
00:32:36,918 --> 00:32:39,228
- Myelosuppression--
- Myelosuppression...
493
00:32:39,287 --> 00:32:41,164
...lowering blood-cell counts.
494
00:32:41,222 --> 00:32:44,226
With this combination of agents,
nephrotoxicity will be next.
495
00:32:44,959 --> 00:32:47,166
Anybody else?
496
00:32:49,097 --> 00:32:50,508
Side effects?
497
00:32:51,265 --> 00:32:52,869
Nausea, vomiting.
498
00:32:53,167 --> 00:32:54,976
Jason?
- Routine.
499
00:32:55,236 --> 00:32:56,977
- Pain while urinating.
- Routine.
500
00:32:57,038 --> 00:32:59,279
- Psychological depression?
- No way.
501
00:32:59,674 --> 00:33:00,778
Anything else?
502
00:33:00,908 --> 00:33:03,115
Other complaints with Hex and Vin'?
503
00:33:04,912 --> 00:33:05,913
Come on.
504
00:33:07,982 --> 00:33:09,791
- Mouth sores?
- Not yet.
505
00:33:11,185 --> 00:33:12,755
- Skin rash?
- No.
506
00:33:13,788 --> 00:33:16,291
Why do we waste our time, Dr. Bearing?
507
00:33:16,357 --> 00:33:18,268
I do not know, Dr. Kelekian.
508
00:33:19,327 --> 00:33:21,705
Use your eyes.
509
00:33:25,366 --> 00:33:26,902
Good grief.
510
00:33:27,769 --> 00:33:29,146
Hair loss.
511
00:33:29,237 --> 00:33:32,218
- Come on!
- You can see that!
512
00:33:32,340 --> 00:33:33,580
Jason?
513
00:33:34,909 --> 00:33:37,617
Hair loss after first cycle of treatment.
514
00:33:37,779 --> 00:33:40,783
That's better. Dr. Bearing.
515
00:33:41,716 --> 00:33:43,161
Full dose?
516
00:33:47,188 --> 00:33:51,295
Good, excellent. Keep pushing the fluids.
517
00:33:59,033 --> 00:34:01,775
- Jason, clinical.
- Right.
518
00:34:02,070 --> 00:34:04,914
Thank you, Prof. Bearing,
you've been very cooperative.
519
00:34:10,812 --> 00:34:13,258
Wasn't that grand?
520
00:34:14,415 --> 00:34:18,488
Full of subservience, hierarchies.
521
00:34:18,986 --> 00:34:22,559
Gratuitous displays, sublimated rivalries.
522
00:34:22,623 --> 00:34:26,435
I feel completely at home,
it is just like a graduate seminar.
523
00:34:27,261 --> 00:34:29,502
With one important difference:
524
00:34:29,864 --> 00:34:33,334
In grand rounds they read me like a book.
525
00:34:33,634 --> 00:34:35,671
Once I did the teaching...
526
00:34:35,736 --> 00:34:37,477
...now I am taught.
527
00:34:38,706 --> 00:34:42,745
This is much easier,
I just hold still and look cancerous.
528
00:34:43,611 --> 00:34:46,182
Jason was impressive, wasn't he?
529
00:34:47,215 --> 00:34:49,092
I taught him, you know.
530
00:34:52,019 --> 00:34:55,489
Nephrotoxicity,
kidney poisoning, myelosuppression.
531
00:34:55,857 --> 00:34:57,564
They are medical terms.
532
00:34:57,625 --> 00:35:02,005
I looked them up. It has always been
my custom to treat words with respect.
533
00:35:03,764 --> 00:35:06,404
I can recall the time...
534
00:35:07,502 --> 00:35:09,277
...the very hour...
535
00:35:09,337 --> 00:35:11,408
...of the very day...
536
00:35:12,073 --> 00:35:14,815
...when I knew words
would be my life's work.
537
00:35:15,843 --> 00:35:17,720
I like that one best.
538
00:35:20,014 --> 00:35:21,994
Read another.
539
00:35:23,451 --> 00:35:25,431
I think I'll read...
540
00:35:25,753 --> 00:35:28,290
...The Tale of the Flopsy Bunnies.
541
00:35:32,960 --> 00:35:35,099
It has little bunnies on the front.
542
00:35:43,304 --> 00:35:46,717
"The Tale of the Flopsy Bunnies...
543
00:35:46,774 --> 00:35:50,085
"...by Beatix Potter."
544
00:35:55,616 --> 00:36:00,326
"It is said that the effect...
545
00:36:01,355 --> 00:36:05,531
"...of eating too much lettuce...
546
00:36:06,194 --> 00:36:09,198
_-'s"-
547
00:36:11,632 --> 00:36:13,339
What is this word?
548
00:36:13,768 --> 00:36:15,475
Say it in bits.
549
00:36:22,210 --> 00:36:24,952
"So-por-i-fic."
550
00:36:25,179 --> 00:36:26,385
What does that mean?
551
00:36:26,447 --> 00:36:28,984
Soporific? Causing sleep.
552
00:36:30,685 --> 00:36:33,393
- Causing sleep.
- Makes you sleepy.
553
00:36:35,456 --> 00:36:39,905
-"So-por-fic" means "makes you sleepy."
- That's right.
554
00:36:42,430 --> 00:36:44,876
Now, use it in a sentence,.
555
00:36:45,366 --> 00:36:48,438
What has a soporific effect on you?
556
00:36:49,170 --> 00:36:52,117
What has a soporific effect on me?
557
00:36:52,873 --> 00:36:54,580
What makes you sleepy?
558
00:36:58,579 --> 00:36:59,717
Nothing.
559
00:37:01,549 --> 00:37:03,358
That's right.
560
00:37:05,219 --> 00:37:06,357
What about you?
561
00:37:07,655 --> 00:37:10,499
What has a soporific effect on me?
562
00:37:10,558 --> 00:37:11,935
Let me think.
563
00:37:12,293 --> 00:37:15,103
Boring conversation,
I suppose, after dinner.
564
00:37:15,730 --> 00:37:19,303
Me too. Boring conversation.
565
00:37:19,367 --> 00:37:22,940
Good, excellent. Carry on.
566
00:37:26,140 --> 00:37:30,111
"It is said that the effect
of eating too much lettuce...
567
00:37:30,278 --> 00:37:32,485
"...is soporific."
568
00:37:34,482 --> 00:37:36,826
The bunnies in the picture are sleeping.
569
00:37:36,884 --> 00:37:40,024
They're sleeping like you said,
because of sop-or-fic.
570
00:37:42,890 --> 00:37:46,064
The illustration bore out
the meaning of the word...
571
00:37:46,360 --> 00:37:48,704
...just as he had explained it.
572
00:37:49,497 --> 00:37:52,706
At the time it seemed like magic.
573
00:37:53,868 --> 00:37:54,938
So...
574
00:37:55,303 --> 00:37:58,750
...imagine the effect the words
of John Donne first had on me.
575
00:37:59,440 --> 00:38:01,943
Ratiocination, concatenation.
576
00:38:02,176 --> 00:38:05,521
Coruscation. Tergiversation.
577
00:38:07,181 --> 00:38:09,752
Medical terms are less evocative.
578
00:38:11,719 --> 00:38:13,289
Still...
579
00:38:13,354 --> 00:38:18,167
...I want to know what the doctors mean
when they anatomize me.
580
00:38:18,859 --> 00:38:22,602
My only defense is
the acquisition of vocabulary.
581
00:38:32,907 --> 00:38:36,650
- Fever and neutropenia.
- Okay, when did it start?
582
00:38:37,045 --> 00:38:41,994
I was at home reading.
I felt so bad, I got cold.
583
00:38:43,585 --> 00:38:45,531
Fever and neutropenia.
They said to come in.
584
00:38:45,587 --> 00:38:48,090
You did the right thing.
Did somebody drive you?
585
00:38:48,156 --> 00:38:49,499
I took a taxi.
586
00:38:51,493 --> 00:38:52,995
Can you walk?
587
00:38:56,764 --> 00:38:58,402
Okay, just sit here a minute.
588
00:38:58,466 --> 00:39:02,812
I'll get Jason, he's on call tonight
and he'll be able to give you some meds.
589
00:39:02,871 --> 00:39:04,942
Glad I was here tonight.
590
00:39:05,540 --> 00:39:08,214
I'm gonna get you to a bed soon, okay?
591
00:39:11,980 --> 00:39:15,518
I'm gonna get you some nicejuice
with lots of ice, okay?
592
00:39:15,817 --> 00:39:19,287
Lights. I left all the lights on at my house.
593
00:39:19,354 --> 00:39:21,732
Don't worry about it. It'll be okay.
594
00:39:35,036 --> 00:39:37,016
Prof. Bearing, how you feeling'?
595
00:39:37,739 --> 00:39:39,047
My teeth are chattering.
596
00:39:39,107 --> 00:39:43,681
- Vitals'?
- Temp 102, pulse 120, respiration 36.
597
00:39:44,245 --> 00:39:46,589
Fever and neutropenia,
it's a shake and bake.
598
00:39:47,348 --> 00:39:51,728
Blood culture and urine, stat. Admit her.
Prepare her for reverse isolation.
599
00:39:51,786 --> 00:39:55,461
Start with acetaminophen.
Vitals every four hours.
600
00:40:02,096 --> 00:40:05,270
You'd better talk to Kelekian
about lowering the dose next cycle.
601
00:40:05,333 --> 00:40:06,971
It's too much for her.
602
00:40:07,035 --> 00:40:08,981
No way, she's tough, she can take it.
603
00:40:09,203 --> 00:40:12,377
Full dose. Wake me when
the counts come from the lab.
604
00:40:41,703 --> 00:40:43,614
Good morning, Dr. Bearing.
605
00:40:43,671 --> 00:40:44,945
Full dose?
606
00:40:45,506 --> 00:40:47,918
Definite progress, everything okay?
607
00:40:49,043 --> 00:40:50,078
Yes.
608
00:40:50,878 --> 00:40:52,323
You're doing swell.
609
00:40:52,380 --> 00:40:56,726
Isolation's no problem, a couple of days.
Think of it as a vacation.
610
00:41:08,162 --> 00:41:10,005
- Jason!
- What?
611
00:41:19,307 --> 00:41:21,218
In isolation...
612
00:41:22,944 --> 00:41:25,220
...I am isolated.
613
00:41:26,047 --> 00:41:29,426
For once I can use a term literally.
614
00:41:29,884 --> 00:41:34,663
The chemotherapeutic agents
eradicating my cancer...
615
00:41:34,789 --> 00:41:38,862
...have also eradicated my immune system.
616
00:41:39,727 --> 00:41:41,968
In my present condition...
617
00:41:42,630 --> 00:41:46,976
...every living thing
is a health hazard to me.
618
00:41:49,270 --> 00:41:52,012
I really have not got time for this.
619
00:41:52,140 --> 00:41:55,553
Particularly health-care professionals.
620
00:41:55,610 --> 00:42:00,025
Just to check the I and O sheet
takes me a half an hour to do precautions.
621
00:42:01,883 --> 00:42:06,354
5, 7, 11. 250 twice. Okay.
622
00:42:12,593 --> 00:42:15,005
Prof. Bearing, how are you feeling today?
623
00:42:15,063 --> 00:42:18,806
Fine, just shaking sometimes
from the chills.
624
00:42:19,367 --> 00:42:22,314
IV should kick in anytime now, no problem.
625
00:42:22,737 --> 00:42:25,343
Listen, I gotta go.
Keep pushing the fluids, okay?
626
00:42:37,385 --> 00:42:41,629
I am not in isolation becausel have cancer.
627
00:42:42,623 --> 00:42:44,125
Because...
628
00:42:44,192 --> 00:42:47,571
...I have a tumor the size of a grapefruit.
629
00:42:48,730 --> 00:42:49,902
No...
630
00:42:51,132 --> 00:42:53,806
...I am in isolation...
631
00:42:53,868 --> 00:42:57,907
...because I am being treated for cancer.
632
00:43:00,875 --> 00:43:04,618
My treatment imperils my health.
633
00:43:06,447 --> 00:43:09,121
Herein lies the paradox.
634
00:43:10,618 --> 00:43:13,258
John Donne would revel in it.
635
00:43:15,456 --> 00:43:20,064
I would revel in it,
if he wrote a poem about it.
636
00:43:22,163 --> 00:43:26,703
My students would flounder in it...
637
00:43:27,168 --> 00:43:32,242
...because paradox is
too difficult to understand.
638
00:43:36,944 --> 00:43:40,551
"Think of it as a puzzle..."
639
00:43:40,782 --> 00:43:44,093
...I would tell them, "an intellectual game."
640
00:43:49,824 --> 00:43:52,930
Or I would have told them...
641
00:43:54,462 --> 00:43:56,339
...were it a game.
642
00:43:59,667 --> 00:44:02,011
Which it is not.
643
00:44:15,216 --> 00:44:18,789
"...threw death on else immortal us
644
00:44:20,188 --> 00:44:23,965
"if lecherous goats, if serpents envious
645
00:44:24,458 --> 00:44:26,335
"Cannot be damned
646
00:44:26,394 --> 00:44:28,704
"Alas, why should I be?
647
00:44:28,963 --> 00:44:33,002
"Why should intent or reason, born in me
648
00:44:33,134 --> 00:44:37,014
"Make sins, else equal,
in me more heinous?
649
00:44:37,538 --> 00:44:40,348
"And mercy being easy,
and glorious to God
650
00:44:40,408 --> 00:44:44,015
"in his stern wrath, why threatens he?
651
00:44:46,247 --> 00:44:51,018
"But who am I,
that dare dispute with thee?
652
00:44:51,019 --> 00:44:51,053
"But who am I,
that dare dispute with thee?
653
00:44:53,054 --> 00:44:58,333
"O God. Oh! of thine only worthy blood,
and my tears
654
00:44:58,926 --> 00:45:01,202
"make a heavenly Lethean flood
655
00:45:01,262 --> 00:45:04,038
"And drown in it my sin's black memory
656
00:45:05,133 --> 00:45:09,206
"That thou remember them,
some claim as debt
657
00:45:09,570 --> 00:45:13,575
"I think it mercy, if thou wilt forget"
658
00:45:16,144 --> 00:45:20,320
A typical prayer would plead,
"Remember me, O Lord."
659
00:45:20,381 --> 00:45:22,622
True believers ask to be
remembered by God.
660
00:45:22,683 --> 00:45:26,392
The speaker of this sonnet
asks God to forget.
661
00:45:26,454 --> 00:45:30,231
We want to correct the speaker.
662
00:45:31,893 --> 00:45:34,271
To remind him of
the assurance of salvation.
663
00:45:34,362 --> 00:45:36,603
But it's too late,
the poetic encounter is over.
664
00:45:36,697 --> 00:45:38,574
We are left to our own consciences.
665
00:45:38,666 --> 00:45:42,307
- Have we outwitted Donne?
- Miss Bearing.
666
00:45:43,438 --> 00:45:47,909
Or, have we been outwitted?
667
00:45:50,978 --> 00:45:52,514
What is it?
668
00:45:52,613 --> 00:45:55,492
You have to go down for a test.
Jason just called.
669
00:45:55,550 --> 00:45:57,188
Another ultrasound.
670
00:45:57,251 --> 00:45:59,253
They're concerned
about a bowel obstruction.
671
00:45:59,320 --> 00:46:02,301
- No, not now.
- I'm sorry, they want it now.
672
00:46:03,057 --> 00:46:05,162
Not right now,
it's not supposed to be now.
673
00:46:05,226 --> 00:46:07,536
They want to do it now, I've got the chair.
674
00:46:09,030 --> 00:46:11,442
It should not be now, I...
675
00:46:11,499 --> 00:46:14,503
I have this planned for now,
not an ultrasound.
676
00:46:14,569 --> 00:46:16,845
- No more tests, we've covered that.
- I know.
677
00:46:16,971 --> 00:46:19,247
But they need for it to be now.
678
00:46:19,574 --> 00:46:23,181
It isn't a bad procedure and it won't take
long, so why don't you come now?
679
00:46:23,244 --> 00:46:25,690
I do not want to go now.
680
00:47:03,284 --> 00:47:04,592
Name?
681
00:47:05,486 --> 00:47:07,932
B-e-a-r-i-n-g.
682
00:47:08,156 --> 00:47:09,362
Kelekian.
683
00:47:10,558 --> 00:47:12,265
It'll just be a minute.
684
00:47:13,828 --> 00:47:15,671
- Time for your break?
- Yeah.
685
00:47:17,532 --> 00:47:19,205
Take a break.
686
00:47:34,815 --> 00:47:38,422
"This is my play's last scene
687
00:47:40,121 --> 00:47:41,657
"Here
688
00:47:41,789 --> 00:47:46,397
"Heavens appoint my pilgrimage's last mile
689
00:47:47,728 --> 00:47:49,867
"And my race
690
00:47:50,231 --> 00:47:54,680
"ldly, yet quickly run
691
00:47:55,036 --> 00:47:58,040
"Hath this last pace
692
00:48:00,575 --> 00:48:03,522
"My span's last inch
693
00:48:04,178 --> 00:48:07,318
"My minute's last point
694
00:48:08,316 --> 00:48:10,262
"And gluttonous death
695
00:48:10,318 --> 00:48:15,358
"Will instantly unjoint my body and soul"
696
00:48:18,593 --> 00:48:20,402
John Donne...
697
00:48:20,962 --> 00:48:22,908
".1609.
698
00:48:25,666 --> 00:48:28,943
I've always particularly liked that poem.
699
00:48:31,072 --> 00:48:32,881
In the abstract.
700
00:48:35,977 --> 00:48:38,150
Now I find the image of...
701
00:48:38,746 --> 00:48:41,192
...my minute's last point...
702
00:48:42,283 --> 00:48:44,923
...a little too, shall we say...
703
00:48:44,986 --> 00:48:46,488
...pointed.
704
00:48:49,390 --> 00:48:52,803
I don't mean to complain
but I am becoming very sick.
705
00:48:53,561 --> 00:48:57,634
Very sick. Ultimately sick, as it were.
706
00:49:01,302 --> 00:49:06,149
In everything I have done, I have been...
707
00:49:07,475 --> 00:49:09,352
"steadfast.
708
00:49:10,111 --> 00:49:11,556
Resolute.
709
00:49:13,180 --> 00:49:15,922
Some would say in the extreme.
710
00:49:18,319 --> 00:49:20,526
Now, as you can see, I am...
711
00:49:21,289 --> 00:49:24,827
...distinguishing myself in illness.
712
00:49:28,062 --> 00:49:31,066
I have survived eight treatments...
713
00:49:31,132 --> 00:49:34,306
...of Hexamethophosphacil and Vinplatin...
714
00:49:34,368 --> 00:49:38,407
...at the full dose, ladies and gentlemen.
715
00:49:39,640 --> 00:49:43,087
I have broken the record.
716
00:49:44,812 --> 00:49:48,123
I have become something of a celebrity.
717
00:49:49,517 --> 00:49:54,159
Kelekian and Jason are simply delighted.
718
00:49:55,923 --> 00:49:57,903
I think...
719
00:49:57,958 --> 00:50:01,963
...they see celebrity status
for themselves...
720
00:50:02,229 --> 00:50:04,505
...upon the appearance
of thejournal article...
721
00:50:04,565 --> 00:50:07,068
...they will no doubt write about me.
722
00:50:11,172 --> 00:50:13,243
But I flatter myself.
723
00:50:13,741 --> 00:50:16,278
The article will not be about me...
724
00:50:16,677 --> 00:50:19,180
...it will be about my ovaries. It will...
725
00:50:19,947 --> 00:50:24,521
...be about my peritoneal cavity.
726
00:50:24,885 --> 00:50:29,095
Which, despite their best intentions,
is now crawling with cancer.
727
00:50:33,994 --> 00:50:36,998
What we have come to think of as me...
728
00:50:37,732 --> 00:50:42,340
...is, in fact, just the specimen jar.
729
00:50:42,903 --> 00:50:45,008
Just the dust jacket.
730
00:50:45,940 --> 00:50:48,420
Just the white piece of paper...
731
00:50:48,476 --> 00:50:51,548
...that bears the little black marks.
732
00:50:57,551 --> 00:51:00,498
My next line is supposed to be
something like this:
733
00:51:02,456 --> 00:51:04,094
"It is such a relief...
734
00:51:04,158 --> 00:51:07,765
"...to get back to my room
after those infernal tests."
735
00:51:09,597 --> 00:51:11,599
This is hardly true.
736
00:51:13,300 --> 00:51:17,806
It would be a relief to be a cheerleader...
737
00:51:17,872 --> 00:51:21,649
...on her way to Daytona Beach
for spring break.
738
00:51:23,978 --> 00:51:26,959
To get back to my room
after those infernal tests...
739
00:51:27,014 --> 00:51:29,051
...is just the next thing that happens.
740
00:51:32,820 --> 00:51:34,299
Oh, God.
741
00:51:36,390 --> 00:51:39,428
It is such a relief to get back
to my goddamn room...
742
00:51:40,294 --> 00:51:43,537
...after those goddamn tests.
743
00:51:52,039 --> 00:51:55,680
Professor Bearing?
Just wanna check your I and O.
744
00:52:00,981 --> 00:52:02,517
450.
745
00:52:03,017 --> 00:52:04,587
6-5.
746
00:52:05,486 --> 00:52:08,660
Okay. How you feeling today?
747
00:52:09,156 --> 00:52:11,932
- Fine.
- Great, that's just great.
748
00:52:13,727 --> 00:52:15,468
How are my fluids?
749
00:52:15,529 --> 00:52:19,671
Pretty good. No kidney involvement yet.
That's pretty amazing with Hex and Vin.
750
00:52:20,000 --> 00:52:23,140
How will you know when
the kidneys are involved?
751
00:52:23,203 --> 00:52:26,275
- Lots of in, not much out.
-That simple?
752
00:52:27,474 --> 00:52:28,612
No way.
753
00:52:28,776 --> 00:52:31,985
Compromised kidney function is
a highly complex reaction.
754
00:52:32,746 --> 00:52:34,987
- I'm simplifying it for you.
- Thank you.
755
00:52:35,249 --> 00:52:37,855
- We're supposed to.
- Bedside manner.
756
00:52:37,951 --> 00:52:40,898
There's a whole course on it in med school.
It's required.
757
00:52:41,155 --> 00:52:44,864
- Colossal waste of time for researchers.
- I can imagine.
758
00:52:46,360 --> 00:52:47,430
Jason?
759
00:52:47,728 --> 00:52:50,368
- What were you saying just then?
- When?
760
00:52:53,867 --> 00:52:55,437
Never mind.
761
00:52:56,103 --> 00:52:58,947
Professor Bearing,
are you experiencing confusion'?
762
00:52:59,239 --> 00:53:01,446
Short-term memory loss?
- No.
763
00:53:01,942 --> 00:53:03,285
- Yo u s u re?
- Yes.
764
00:53:04,178 --> 00:53:05,350
Okay-
765
00:53:05,913 --> 00:53:09,520
No, I was just wondering...
766
00:53:10,517 --> 00:53:11,825
...why cancer?
767
00:53:12,386 --> 00:53:13,694
Why cancer?
768
00:53:14,455 --> 00:53:16,628
Why not open-heart surgery?
769
00:53:17,458 --> 00:53:19,301
Yeah.
770
00:53:20,894 --> 00:53:22,430
Why not plumbing'?
771
00:53:22,496 --> 00:53:25,204
Why not run a lube rack
for all the surgeons know about...
772
00:53:25,265 --> 00:53:27,108
...Homo sapien sapiens?
773
00:53:27,401 --> 00:53:30,644
No way.
Cancer's the only thing I ever wanted.
774
00:53:31,772 --> 00:53:34,719
No, really, cancer is...
775
00:53:36,777 --> 00:53:38,279
Awesome?
776
00:53:38,345 --> 00:53:39,585
Yeah.
777
00:53:39,646 --> 00:53:42,820
It is awesome. How does it do it?
778
00:53:42,883 --> 00:53:45,261
The intercellular regulatory mechanisms...
779
00:53:45,319 --> 00:53:47,993
...especially for proliferation
and differentiation.
780
00:53:48,055 --> 00:53:52,595
- The malignant neoplasiajust don't get it.
- Neoplasia, cancer cells.
781
00:53:52,659 --> 00:53:53,797
Yes, that's right.
782
00:53:54,628 --> 00:53:57,507
You grow normal cells
in a tissue culture in a lab...
783
00:53:57,564 --> 00:54:00,477
...and they replicate enough
to form a confluent monolayer...
784
00:54:00,534 --> 00:54:03,879
...and then divide 20 or 50 times,
but eventually they conk out.
785
00:54:04,004 --> 00:54:07,679
You grow cancer cells and they never stop.
786
00:54:08,609 --> 00:54:11,886
No contact inhibition whatsoever,
they just pile up.
787
00:54:11,979 --> 00:54:14,118
They keep replicating forever.
788
00:54:15,015 --> 00:54:17,052
It's got a great name.
Know what it's called?
789
00:54:17,184 --> 00:54:20,256
- No, what?
-lmmortality in culture.
790
00:54:20,988 --> 00:54:22,934
That sounds like a symposium.
791
00:54:23,056 --> 00:54:25,764
It's an error in judgment,
in a molecular way.
792
00:54:26,660 --> 00:54:27,934
But why?
793
00:54:27,995 --> 00:54:31,568
Even on a protistic level
the normal cell-cell interactions...
794
00:54:32,065 --> 00:54:35,046
...are so subtle,
they take your breath away.
795
00:54:35,335 --> 00:54:37,542
It's incredible, it's perfect.
796
00:54:38,405 --> 00:54:41,249
What's up with cancer cells?
Smartest guys in the world...
797
00:54:41,341 --> 00:54:43,184
...the best labs, funding...
798
00:54:44,478 --> 00:54:46,321
They don't know what to make of it.
799
00:54:46,380 --> 00:54:49,020
- What about you?
- Me?
800
00:54:49,850 --> 00:54:51,887
I've got some things I'm kicking around.
801
00:54:51,952 --> 00:54:55,991
Wait till I get a lab of my own,
if I can survive this fellowship.
802
00:54:56,723 --> 00:54:58,634
The part with the human beings.
803
00:54:58,692 --> 00:55:01,104
Everybody has to do it,
all the best researchers.
804
00:55:01,195 --> 00:55:03,903
They want us to converse
intelligently with clinicians...
805
00:55:03,997 --> 00:55:06,443
...as if researchers were the impediment.
806
00:55:06,700 --> 00:55:10,671
Clinicians are such troglodytes.
Just cut the crap, I say.
807
00:55:10,771 --> 00:55:12,614
Are you going to be sorry when...
808
00:55:17,244 --> 00:55:19,349
Do you ever miss people?
809
00:55:20,480 --> 00:55:23,324
Everybody asks that, especially girls.
810
00:55:23,383 --> 00:55:24,953
What do you tell them?
811
00:55:25,252 --> 00:55:27,960
- I tell them, "Yes."
- Are they persuaded'?
812
00:55:28,021 --> 00:55:30,865
- Some.
- Some, I see.
813
00:55:33,594 --> 00:55:36,040
And what do you say when a patient is...
814
00:55:36,463 --> 00:55:39,137
...apprehensive, frightened?
815
00:55:39,199 --> 00:55:40,473
Of who?
816
00:55:43,437 --> 00:55:45,314
I just...
817
00:55:47,207 --> 00:55:48,550
Never mind.
818
00:55:50,444 --> 00:55:53,152
Who's the President of the United States?
819
00:55:53,213 --> 00:55:55,420
I'm fine. Really, it's all right.
820
00:55:55,482 --> 00:55:58,326
- You sure'? I could order a test--
- No.
821
00:56:00,654 --> 00:56:03,100
I'm fine. Just a little tired.
822
00:56:03,690 --> 00:56:04,862
Okay-
823
00:56:05,592 --> 00:56:06,730
I gotta go-
824
00:56:06,793 --> 00:56:09,399
Keep pushing the fluids,
try for 2,000 a day, okay?
825
00:56:09,496 --> 00:56:10,440
Okay-
826
00:56:13,867 --> 00:56:16,177
To use your word:
827
00:56:17,471 --> 00:56:19,007
"okay."
828
00:56:31,318 --> 00:56:32,888
So...
829
00:56:34,221 --> 00:56:39,000
The young doctor, like the senior scholar...
830
00:56:39,426 --> 00:56:43,169
...prefers research to humanity.
831
00:56:44,464 --> 00:56:45,909
At the same time...
832
00:56:45,999 --> 00:56:50,744
...the senior scholar,
in her pathetic state as simpering victim...
833
00:56:51,038 --> 00:56:54,713
...wishes the young doctor would take
more interest in personal contact.
834
00:56:56,877 --> 00:57:00,154
Now, I suppose we shall see
how the senior scholar...
835
00:57:00,213 --> 00:57:03,820
...ruthlessly denied
her simpering students...
836
00:57:03,884 --> 00:57:08,162
...the touch of human kindness
she now seeks.
837
00:57:13,427 --> 00:57:15,134
How, then...
838
00:57:15,195 --> 00:57:18,233
...would you characterize...You!
839
00:57:19,733 --> 00:57:22,771
How would you characterize
the animating force of this sonnet?
840
00:57:26,840 --> 00:57:29,320
In this sonnet, what is the...
841
00:57:29,376 --> 00:57:32,323
What is the principal poetic device'?
I'll give you a hint:
842
00:57:32,379 --> 00:57:34,290
It has nothing to do with football.
843
00:57:34,348 --> 00:57:35,952
What propeIs this sonnet?
844
00:57:40,220 --> 00:57:44,100
You can come to this class prepared,
or you can be excused from this class...
845
00:57:44,157 --> 00:57:45,791
...this department, and this university.
846
00:57:45,792 --> 00:57:46,634
...this department, and this university.
847
00:57:47,093 --> 00:57:50,438
Do not think for a moment
that I will tolerate anything in between.
848
00:57:55,601 --> 00:57:57,171
Did I say:
849
00:57:58,070 --> 00:58:02,280
"You are 19 years old. You are so young.
850
00:58:02,842 --> 00:58:05,618
"You don't know a sonnet
from a steak sandwich."
851
00:58:08,981 --> 00:58:10,619
By no means.
852
00:58:12,018 --> 00:58:13,622
To scan the line properly...
853
00:58:14,153 --> 00:58:17,600
...we must take advantage
of the contemporary flexibility...
854
00:58:17,657 --> 00:58:22,299
...in "I-o-n" endings, as in "expansion."
855
00:58:22,628 --> 00:58:24,938
The quatrain stands:
856
00:58:25,698 --> 00:58:30,113
"Our two souls therefore, which are one
857
00:58:30,236 --> 00:58:34,514
"Though I must go, endure not yet a breach
858
00:58:34,640 --> 00:58:37,951
"But an expansion
859
00:58:38,044 --> 00:58:42,754
"Like gold to aery thinness beat"
860
00:58:43,783 --> 00:58:45,854
Bear this in mind in your reading.
861
00:58:46,319 --> 00:58:48,128
That's all for today.
862
00:59:02,535 --> 00:59:04,981
Prof. Bearing?
Can I talk to you for a minute'?
863
00:59:05,037 --> 00:59:06,072
You may.
864
00:59:06,873 --> 00:59:09,149
I need to ask for an extension on my paper.
865
00:59:09,275 --> 00:59:13,382
- I'm sorry, I know your policy, but--
- Don't tell me, your grandmother died.
866
00:59:14,914 --> 00:59:16,985
- You knew?
-It was a guess.
867
00:59:17,450 --> 00:59:18,622
I have to go home.
868
00:59:18,684 --> 00:59:21,563
Do what you will,
but the paper is due when it is due.
869
00:59:36,202 --> 00:59:37,738
I don't know...
870
00:59:40,740 --> 00:59:42,651
I feel so much...
871
00:59:45,711 --> 00:59:47,384
What is the word?
872
00:59:47,680 --> 00:59:52,425
I look back and I see these scenes and I...
873
01:00:37,363 --> 01:00:40,708
Miss Bearing,
is that you beeping at 4:00 a.m.?
874
01:00:45,505 --> 01:00:47,143
Did that wake you?
875
01:00:47,340 --> 01:00:51,254
Sorry, it just gets occluded sometimes.
876
01:00:51,344 --> 01:00:54,814
- I was awake.
- You were?
877
01:00:55,414 --> 01:00:57,360
What's the trouble, sweetheart?
878
01:00:58,017 --> 01:00:59,428
I don't know.
879
01:01:00,386 --> 01:01:01,694
Can't sleep?
880
01:01:02,822 --> 01:01:03,926
No...
881
01:01:04,590 --> 01:01:06,194
...I just keep thinking.
882
01:01:06,559 --> 01:01:08,869
If you do that too much
you can get confused.
883
01:01:08,928 --> 01:01:09,929
I know.
884
01:01:11,564 --> 01:01:13,942
I can't seem to figure things out.
885
01:01:16,802 --> 01:01:20,079
I'm in a quandary. Having...
886
01:01:21,774 --> 01:01:23,617
...these doubts.
887
01:01:24,277 --> 01:01:26,587
What you're doing is very hard.
888
01:01:28,181 --> 01:01:32,061
- Hard things are what I like best.
-No, but it's not the same.
889
01:01:32,618 --> 01:01:36,191
-It's like it's out of control, isn't it?
- Yeah.
890
01:01:40,059 --> 01:01:41,265
I'm scared.
891
01:01:41,460 --> 01:01:44,964
Honey, of course you are.
892
01:01:47,800 --> 01:01:49,802
I'm worked up...
893
01:01:51,837 --> 01:01:54,579
I don't feel so sure of myself anymore.
894
01:01:54,640 --> 01:01:56,847
And you used to feel sure, didn't you?
895
01:01:56,909 --> 01:02:00,857
Yes, yes, and I used to feel sure.
896
01:02:01,414 --> 01:02:04,657
It's okay. It's all right.
897
01:02:04,984 --> 01:02:07,328
And it hurts, I know.
898
01:02:07,720 --> 01:02:10,860
It's all right.
899
01:02:18,197 --> 01:02:19,801
There you go.
900
01:02:19,865 --> 01:02:21,276
It's all right.
901
01:02:22,902 --> 01:02:25,508
It's okay, it's all right.
902
01:02:26,639 --> 01:02:29,643
Vivian'? You want a Popsicle?
903
01:02:31,277 --> 01:02:33,154
- Yes, please.
- Okay.
904
01:02:33,379 --> 01:02:36,121
I'm gonna go get one.
I'll be right back, okay?
905
01:02:41,954 --> 01:02:44,230
The epithelial cells...
906
01:02:44,790 --> 01:02:47,703
...in my GI tract...
907
01:02:47,760 --> 01:02:50,138
...have been killed by the chemo.
908
01:02:50,863 --> 01:02:53,844
The cold Popsicle feels good.
909
01:02:54,967 --> 01:02:58,642
It's something I can digest
and it helps keep me hydrated.
910
01:02:59,472 --> 01:03:00,849
For your information.
911
01:03:05,011 --> 01:03:07,252
Here you go.
912
01:03:12,785 --> 01:03:14,958
- Here.
- You sure'?
913
01:03:16,589 --> 01:03:18,865
- Thanks.
- Thank you.
914
01:03:36,242 --> 01:03:38,813
When I was a kid we used to
get these from a truck.
915
01:03:39,378 --> 01:03:42,382
A man would come around
and he'd ring his bell...
916
01:03:42,448 --> 01:03:44,587
...and we'd all go running over.
917
01:03:44,817 --> 01:03:48,287
And then we'd sit on the curb
and eat our popsicles.
918
01:03:50,389 --> 01:03:52,198
That's pretty profound, huh'?
919
01:03:52,992 --> 01:03:54,494
Sounds nice.
920
01:03:59,899 --> 01:04:02,675
There's something we need to talk about.
921
01:04:03,235 --> 01:04:05,442
That you need to think about.
922
01:04:09,709 --> 01:04:12,053
My cancer's not being cured, is it?
923
01:04:13,879 --> 01:04:15,119
No.
924
01:04:18,718 --> 01:04:21,358
They never expected it to be, did they?
925
01:04:22,922 --> 01:04:26,335
They thought the drugs
would make the tumor get smaller.
926
01:04:26,459 --> 01:04:29,702
And it has, it's gotten a lot smaller.
927
01:04:30,730 --> 01:04:33,939
But the problem is,
it's started in other places too.
928
01:04:34,667 --> 01:04:38,342
They've learned a lot for their research
and it was the best they had...
929
01:04:38,404 --> 01:04:41,146
...it was the strongest drugs.
It's just that there...
930
01:04:41,941 --> 01:04:45,479
There really isn't a good cure
for what you have yet.
931
01:04:46,112 --> 01:04:48,058
For advanced ovarian.
932
01:04:51,384 --> 01:04:53,955
I'm sorry,
they should have explained this to you.
933
01:04:55,955 --> 01:04:57,298
I knew.
934
01:04:59,525 --> 01:05:00,560
You did'?
935
01:05:03,429 --> 01:05:05,602
I read between the lines.
936
01:05:15,975 --> 01:05:19,081
What you need to think about
is your code status.
937
01:05:20,179 --> 01:05:22,489
What you want them to do...
938
01:05:23,149 --> 01:05:25,151
...if your heart stops beating.
939
01:05:27,553 --> 01:05:28,998
Well?
940
01:05:30,055 --> 01:05:34,629
You can be full code
which means that if your heart stops...
941
01:05:34,693 --> 01:05:39,267
...we'll call a code blue and the code team
will come in and resuscitate you...
942
01:05:39,331 --> 01:05:42,574
...and take you to intensive care
until you stabilize.
943
01:05:42,935 --> 01:05:45,814
Or, you can be:
944
01:05:45,905 --> 01:05:48,146
"Do not resuscitate."
945
01:05:48,374 --> 01:05:50,786
Which means that if your heart stops...
946
01:05:53,179 --> 01:05:54,715
...we'll just let it.
947
01:05:55,548 --> 01:05:57,494
You'll be DNR.
948
01:05:59,118 --> 01:06:02,327
Now, you can think about it. But I just...
949
01:06:02,822 --> 01:06:05,894
I just wanted to present you
with both choices...
950
01:06:06,225 --> 01:06:10,196
...before Kelekian and Jason
come in and talk to you.
951
01:06:13,732 --> 01:06:17,646
- They don't agree about this?
- They like to save lives.
952
01:06:18,471 --> 01:06:21,418
So anything's okay as long
as the life continues.
953
01:06:22,408 --> 01:06:26,049
Doesn't matter
if you're hooked up to a million machines.
954
01:06:27,379 --> 01:06:29,552
Kelekian's a great researcher, he is...
955
01:06:29,615 --> 01:06:32,562
...and the Fellows like Jason,
they're really smart.
956
01:06:33,285 --> 01:06:36,596
It's an honor for them
to be working with him.
957
01:06:38,190 --> 01:06:41,797
But they always want to know
more things.
958
01:06:43,262 --> 01:06:45,367
I always want to know more things.
959
01:06:47,733 --> 01:06:49,406
I'm a scholar.
960
01:06:51,637 --> 01:06:53,173
Or I was...
961
01:06:54,440 --> 01:06:56,215
...when I had shoes.
962
01:06:57,977 --> 01:06:59,820
When I had eyebrows.
963
01:07:02,348 --> 01:07:06,057
Okay, that's fine. You'll be full code.
964
01:07:10,055 --> 01:07:11,090
No.
965
01:07:12,458 --> 01:07:14,028
Don't complicate the matter.
966
01:07:14,093 --> 01:07:16,471
No, really, it's fine. It's up to you.
967
01:07:19,899 --> 01:07:21,503
Just let it stop.
968
01:07:23,168 --> 01:07:24,704
Really?
969
01:07:25,538 --> 01:07:26,573
Yes.
970
01:07:27,940 --> 01:07:30,318
So, if your heart stops beating...
971
01:07:33,078 --> 01:07:35,456
Just let it stop.
972
01:07:39,318 --> 01:07:40,319
You sure'?
973
01:07:43,956 --> 01:07:45,026
Yes.
974
01:07:47,960 --> 01:07:49,166
Okay-
975
01:07:49,662 --> 01:07:53,041
Okay, I'll get Kelekian to give the order,
and then...
976
01:07:53,666 --> 01:07:54,804
Susie?
977
01:07:59,471 --> 01:08:02,418
You're still going to take care of me,
aren't you?
978
01:08:03,075 --> 01:08:04,611
Of course I am.
979
01:08:05,344 --> 01:08:07,290
Don't you worry, sweetheart.
980
01:08:24,763 --> 01:08:25,764
Okay-
981
01:08:34,707 --> 01:08:35,845
Thank you.
982
01:09:05,738 --> 01:09:08,878
That certainly was a maudlin display.
983
01:09:10,275 --> 01:09:12,687
Popsicles, "Sweetheart."
984
01:09:14,279 --> 01:09:16,987
I can't believe my life
has become so corny.
985
01:09:19,652 --> 01:09:22,724
But it can't be helped,
I don't see any other way.
986
01:09:23,222 --> 01:09:26,795
We are discussing life and death, and...
987
01:09:27,726 --> 01:09:32,436
...not in the abstract, either.
We are discussing my life and my death.
988
01:09:34,667 --> 01:09:37,443
And I can't conceive of any other tone.
989
01:09:40,572 --> 01:09:43,815
Now is not the time for verbal swordplay.
990
01:09:44,643 --> 01:09:48,989
Nothing would be worse
than a detailed scholarly analysis and...
991
01:09:50,082 --> 01:09:53,620
...erudition, interpretation, complication.
992
01:09:54,920 --> 01:09:55,990
No.
993
01:09:57,189 --> 01:09:59,635
Now is the time for simplicity.
994
01:10:00,926 --> 01:10:03,873
Now is the time for...
995
01:10:04,763 --> 01:10:06,470
...dare I say it...
996
01:10:07,766 --> 01:10:08,938
...kindness.
997
01:10:14,440 --> 01:10:17,649
And I thought being extremely smart...
998
01:10:18,210 --> 01:10:20,383
...would take care of it.
999
01:10:21,747 --> 01:10:25,092
But I see that I have been found out.
1000
01:10:36,962 --> 01:10:38,339
I'm scared.
1001
01:10:41,967 --> 01:10:42,968
Oh, God.
1002
01:10:47,072 --> 01:10:48,244
I want...
1003
01:10:49,174 --> 01:10:50,915
I want to...
1004
01:10:55,848 --> 01:10:56,952
No.
1005
01:10:58,150 --> 01:11:02,360
I want to hide.
I just want to curl up in a little ball.
1006
01:11:36,221 --> 01:11:40,169
I want to tell you...
1007
01:11:40,459 --> 01:11:41,870
...how it feels.
1008
01:11:44,096 --> 01:11:47,236
I want to explain it.
1009
01:11:49,334 --> 01:11:52,247
To use my words.
1010
01:11:53,872 --> 01:11:58,014
It's just as if I can't.
1011
01:12:01,814 --> 01:12:03,919
There aren't...
1012
01:12:10,856 --> 01:12:13,336
I'm in terrible pain.
1013
01:12:15,494 --> 01:12:17,371
Susie says...
1014
01:12:23,535 --> 01:12:28,211
...I need to be
in aggressive pain management...
1015
01:12:29,308 --> 01:12:32,881
...if I'm going to stand it.
1016
01:12:35,113 --> 01:12:36,114
"M.
1017
01:12:37,282 --> 01:12:39,762
Such a little word.
1018
01:12:43,088 --> 01:12:46,399
I think in this case...
1019
01:12:47,259 --> 01:12:49,239
..."it"...
1020
01:12:49,394 --> 01:12:54,070
...signifies being alive.
1021
01:12:58,804 --> 01:12:59,874
Okay-
1022
01:13:02,541 --> 01:13:05,454
We've located Dr. Kelekian
and he's on his way here...
1023
01:13:05,510 --> 01:13:07,547
...and we'll get you some meds.
1024
01:13:07,646 --> 01:13:09,990
God, it's so painful.
1025
01:13:10,983 --> 01:13:12,291
So much pain.
1026
01:13:12,351 --> 01:13:15,298
I know. Just try and relax
and clear your mind.
1027
01:13:15,387 --> 01:13:17,424
We'll get you patient-controlled analgesic.
1028
01:13:17,489 --> 01:13:20,231
It's a little pump
with a little button and you press it...
1029
01:13:20,325 --> 01:13:23,135
...and you decide how much
medication you want.
1030
01:13:23,195 --> 01:13:25,732
It's very simple and it's all up to you.
1031
01:13:26,131 --> 01:13:27,235
Okay-
1032
01:13:28,734 --> 01:13:31,044
Dr. Bearing. Susie.
1033
01:13:31,169 --> 01:13:34,412
It's time for patient-controlled analgesic.
The pain's killing her.
1034
01:13:34,473 --> 01:13:36,107
Dr. Bearing, are you in pain?
1035
01:13:36,108 --> 01:13:36,848
Dr. Bearing, are you in pain?
1036
01:13:37,642 --> 01:13:40,020
I don't believe this.
1037
01:13:40,745 --> 01:13:42,088
Get a morphine drip.
1038
01:13:42,147 --> 01:13:44,787
What about patient-controlled?
She'd be more alert.
1039
01:13:44,850 --> 01:13:46,955
Ordinarily yes. In her case, no.
1040
01:13:47,085 --> 01:13:50,123
- But I think she would really rather--
- She's earned a rest.
1041
01:13:52,090 --> 01:13:54,730
Morphine. 10 push now
and start at 10 an hour.
1042
01:13:55,127 --> 01:13:57,937
Dr. Bearing, try to relax,
we'll help you through this.
1043
01:13:58,263 --> 01:13:59,708
Don't worry.
1044
01:14:02,968 --> 01:14:04,038
Excellent.
1045
01:14:54,119 --> 01:14:55,223
Hi.
1046
01:14:56,755 --> 01:14:58,598
How are you feeling today?
1047
01:15:01,026 --> 01:15:04,473
These are my last coherent lines.
1048
01:15:05,730 --> 01:15:07,869
I'll have to...
1049
01:15:09,234 --> 01:15:13,341
...leave the action to the professionals.
1050
01:15:15,740 --> 01:15:20,280
It came so quickly, after taking so long.
1051
01:15:23,615 --> 01:15:27,563
There's not even time
for a proper conclusion.
1052
01:15:36,094 --> 01:15:39,541
I trust this will have a soporific effect?
1053
01:15:40,565 --> 01:15:44,103
I don't know about that,
but it sure does make you sleepy.
1054
01:15:50,442 --> 01:15:52,115
What's so funny'?
1055
01:15:54,779 --> 01:15:56,019
What?
1056
01:16:01,086 --> 01:16:02,326
It's just...
1057
01:16:04,155 --> 01:16:07,068
It's that "soporific" means...
1058
01:16:07,626 --> 01:16:09,765
..."makes you sleepy."
1059
01:16:11,162 --> 01:16:12,573
It does?
1060
01:16:15,700 --> 01:16:17,509
That was sort of dumb.
1061
01:16:17,736 --> 01:16:20,512
No, it was funny.
1062
01:16:22,173 --> 01:16:25,711
Yeah'? In a dumb sort of way.
1063
01:16:34,152 --> 01:16:37,429
I'm glad you explained it to me.
1064
01:16:38,823 --> 01:16:41,133
I never would've thought of that.
1065
01:16:44,129 --> 01:16:46,302
I'm a teacher.
1066
01:17:33,545 --> 01:17:38,119
Yeah, she was a great scholar.
Wrote tons of books, articles.
1067
01:17:38,750 --> 01:17:40,457
She was the head of everything.
1068
01:17:41,286 --> 01:17:44,597
People used to hug the walls
when she passed.
1069
01:17:49,294 --> 01:17:53,868
275, 520. Let's up the hydration.
1070
01:17:53,932 --> 01:17:57,539
She won't be drinking anymore,
see if we can keep her kidneys from fading.
1071
01:17:57,602 --> 01:17:59,377
I had a lot of respect for her.
1072
01:17:59,437 --> 01:18:02,179
More than I can say
for the entire bio-chem department.
1073
01:18:02,240 --> 01:18:04,948
- What do you want, dextrose?
- Give her saline.
1074
01:18:06,144 --> 01:18:10,115
She gave a hell of a lecture.
No notes, not a word out of place.
1075
01:18:10,181 --> 01:18:12,684
It was impressive.
A lot of students hated her, though.
1076
01:18:12,751 --> 01:18:15,664
- Why'.7
- She wasn't exactly a cupcake.
1077
01:18:15,754 --> 01:18:18,291
She hasn't exactly been
a cupcake here either.
1078
01:18:18,356 --> 01:18:22,634
Miss Bearing, Jason and I are here,
we'll insert a catheter to collect urine.
1079
01:18:22,694 --> 01:18:25,368
-It won't hurt, so don't worry.
- Like she can hear you.
1080
01:18:25,597 --> 01:18:29,545
- It's just nice to do.
-Eight cycles of Hex and Vin at full dose.
1081
01:18:29,601 --> 01:18:31,774
Kelekian didn't think it was possible.
1082
01:18:31,836 --> 01:18:34,715
I wish they'd all go full throttle,
then we'd have some data.
1083
01:18:34,839 --> 01:18:36,443
She's not what I imagined.
1084
01:18:36,641 --> 01:18:39,417
I thought someone who studied poetry
would be more dreamy.
1085
01:18:39,477 --> 01:18:41,013
Not the way she did it.
1086
01:18:41,079 --> 01:18:43,286
Her course was more like
boot camp than English.
1087
01:18:43,348 --> 01:18:45,521
John Donne was incredibly intense.
1088
01:18:45,583 --> 01:18:48,496
Your whole brain
had to be in knots before you could get it.
1089
01:18:48,553 --> 01:18:51,557
- He made it hard on purpose'?
-It has to do with subject matter.
1090
01:18:51,623 --> 01:18:55,161
The Holy Sonnets we worked on mostly
were mainly about salvation anxiety.
1091
01:18:55,260 --> 01:18:57,365
That's a term I made up
in one of my papers...
1092
01:18:57,429 --> 01:18:59,067
...but I think it fits pretty well.
1093
01:18:59,330 --> 01:19:01,674
He's this brilliant guy, I mean brilliant.
1094
01:19:01,733 --> 01:19:04,043
He makes Shakespeare
sound like a Hallmark card.
1095
01:19:04,335 --> 01:19:05,939
And you know you're a sinner.
1096
01:19:06,004 --> 01:19:08,848
There's a promise of salvation,
the whole religious thing.
1097
01:19:08,907 --> 01:19:10,113
But you can't deal with it.
1098
01:19:10,175 --> 01:19:12,849
- How come?
- Because it doesn't stand up to scrutiny.
1099
01:19:12,911 --> 01:19:16,586
But you can't face life without it,
so you write these screwed-up sonnets.
1100
01:19:16,648 --> 01:19:19,151
Like a game to make
the puzzle so complicated.
1101
01:19:19,451 --> 01:19:20,930
What happens in the end?
1102
01:19:20,985 --> 01:19:23,864
- The end of what?
- To John Donne. Does he ever get it?
1103
01:19:24,122 --> 01:19:26,124
- Get what?
- His salvation anxiety.
1104
01:19:26,191 --> 01:19:28,296
- Does he ever understand?
- No way.
1105
01:19:29,093 --> 01:19:32,506
The puzzle takes over.
You're not even trying to solve it anymore.
1106
01:19:32,931 --> 01:19:36,378
Fascinating, really.
Great training for lab research.
1107
01:19:36,434 --> 01:19:38,710
Looking at increasing levels of complexity.
1108
01:19:38,770 --> 01:19:40,875
- Until what?
- What do you mean?
1109
01:19:40,939 --> 01:19:43,044
Do you ever get to solve the puzzle?
1110
01:19:43,107 --> 01:19:46,850
No. When it comes down to it,
research is just trying to quantify...
1111
01:19:46,911 --> 01:19:48,754
...the complications of the puzzle.
1112
01:19:48,813 --> 01:19:53,813
- You help people, you save lives and stuff.
- Sure, I save a guy's life...
1113
01:19:53,984 --> 01:19:54,018
- You help people, you save lives and stuff.
- Sure, I save a guy's life...
1114
01:19:54,117 --> 01:19:56,620
...and the poor slob goes out
and gets hit by a bus.
1115
01:19:56,686 --> 01:19:59,394
Yeah, I guess so.
I just don't think about it that way.
1116
01:19:59,622 --> 01:20:02,330
I guess you can tell
I never took a course in poetry.
1117
01:20:02,859 --> 01:20:06,136
If there's one thing
we learned in 17th Century Poetry...
1118
01:20:06,196 --> 01:20:09,006
...you can forget all about
that sentimental stuff.
1119
01:20:09,065 --> 01:20:11,773
Enzyme kinetics was more poetic
than Bearing's class.
1120
01:20:11,835 --> 01:20:13,974
Besides, you can't just go around...
1121
01:20:14,037 --> 01:20:17,644
...thinking about that meaning-of-life stuff
all the time. You'd go nuts.
1122
01:20:18,008 --> 01:20:20,818
- Do you believe in it?
- Believe in what?
1123
01:20:20,877 --> 01:20:23,585
I don't know, the meaning-of-life stuff.
1124
01:20:25,015 --> 01:20:27,757
What do they teach you at nursing school?
1125
01:20:33,556 --> 01:20:36,503
She's out of it. Shouldn't be too long.
1126
01:20:39,896 --> 01:20:43,605
- You done here?
- Yeah, I'll just tidy up.
1127
01:20:50,874 --> 01:20:53,047
- See ya.
- Bye.
1128
01:22:57,400 --> 01:22:58,811
It's Eve.
1129
01:23:09,279 --> 01:23:10,349
Oh, God.
1130
01:23:15,552 --> 01:23:17,554
Prof. Ashford?
1131
01:23:18,788 --> 01:23:19,960
Oh, God.
1132
01:23:22,458 --> 01:23:25,667
I'm in town visiting my great-grandson...
1133
01:23:26,763 --> 01:23:29,835
...who is celebrating his fifth birthday.
1134
01:23:31,401 --> 01:23:33,745
I went to see you in your office...
1135
01:23:34,404 --> 01:23:36,680
...and they directed me here.
1136
01:23:40,577 --> 01:23:42,921
I've been walking all over town.
1137
01:23:44,013 --> 01:23:47,392
I'd forgotten how early it gets chilly here.
1138
01:23:52,155 --> 01:23:54,431
I feel so bad.
1139
01:23:57,460 --> 01:23:59,736
Yes, I know you do.
1140
01:24:00,163 --> 01:24:01,642
I can see.
1141
01:24:05,735 --> 01:24:06,839
Oh, dear.
1142
01:24:08,137 --> 01:24:10,174
There, there.
1143
01:24:11,274 --> 01:24:13,083
There, there.
1144
01:25:00,757 --> 01:25:02,293
There, there, Vivian.
1145
01:25:08,264 --> 01:25:10,335
It's a windy day.
1146
01:25:14,170 --> 01:25:16,207
Don't worry, dear.
1147
01:25:19,876 --> 01:25:21,287
Let's see.
1148
01:25:21,377 --> 01:25:24,551
Shall I recite something to you?
Would you like that?
1149
01:25:25,882 --> 01:25:28,260
I'll recite something by Donne.
1150
01:25:28,651 --> 01:25:29,925
No.
1151
01:25:33,456 --> 01:25:34,560
Very well.
1152
01:25:45,968 --> 01:25:47,572
Let's see...
1153
01:25:54,344 --> 01:25:58,554
"The Runaway Bunny,
by Margaret Wise Brown.
1154
01:25:59,082 --> 01:26:01,317
"Pictures by Clement Hurd.
1155
01:26:01,318 --> 01:26:01,591
"Pictures by Clement Hurd.
1156
01:26:01,651 --> 01:26:04,461
"Copyright, 1942.
1157
01:26:05,455 --> 01:26:10,495
"First Harper Trophy edition, 1972.
1158
01:26:15,098 --> 01:26:18,545
"Once there was a little bunny
who wanted to run away...
1159
01:26:18,601 --> 01:26:21,707
"...so he said to his mother,
'I'm running away.'
1160
01:26:22,906 --> 01:26:25,477
"'lf you run away,' said his mother...
1161
01:26:25,542 --> 01:26:27,749
"'...I will run after you.
1162
01:26:27,844 --> 01:26:31,053
"'For you are my little bunny.'
1163
01:26:33,049 --> 01:26:35,928
"'lf you run after me,'
said the little bunny...
1164
01:26:36,252 --> 01:26:39,426
"'...I will become a fish in a trout stream...
1165
01:26:39,489 --> 01:26:42,333
"'...and I will swim away from you.'
1166
01:26:42,392 --> 01:26:46,135
"'lf you become a fish in a trout stream,'
said his mother...
1167
01:26:46,496 --> 01:26:50,467
"'...I will become a fisherman,
and I will fish for you."'
1168
01:26:51,701 --> 01:26:53,078
Look at that.
1169
01:26:53,436 --> 01:26:56,212
A little allegory of the soul.
1170
01:26:56,906 --> 01:26:59,750
Wherever it hides, God will find it.
1171
01:27:01,578 --> 01:27:03,080
See, Vivian'?
1172
01:27:06,850 --> 01:27:10,059
"'If you become a fisherman,'
said the little bunny...
1173
01:27:10,120 --> 01:27:13,294
"'...I will be a bird and fly away from you.'
1174
01:27:14,190 --> 01:27:18,434
"'lf you become a bird
and fly away from me,' said his mother...
1175
01:27:18,595 --> 01:27:22,600
"'...I will be a tree
that you come home to!"
1176
01:27:24,634 --> 01:27:26,272
Very clever.
1177
01:27:31,074 --> 01:27:33,714
'"Shucks,' said the little bunny.
1178
01:27:34,177 --> 01:27:37,454
"'I might just as well stay where I am...
1179
01:27:37,580 --> 01:27:40,584
"'...and be your little bunny.'
1180
01:27:40,717 --> 01:27:42,560
"And so he did.
1181
01:27:44,287 --> 01:27:47,166
"'Have a carrot,' said the mother bunny."
1182
01:27:52,061 --> 01:27:53,472
Wonderful.
1183
01:28:00,270 --> 01:28:01,578
Time to go.
1184
01:28:34,904 --> 01:28:38,875
"And flights of angels
sing thee to thy rest."
1185
01:29:51,648 --> 01:29:54,322
Prof. Bearing, how you feeling today?
1186
01:29:56,085 --> 01:29:58,793
3:00 p.m., IV hydration totals:
1187
01:29:59,689 --> 01:30:03,660
2,000 in, 30 out. That's it...
1188
01:30:03,726 --> 01:30:05,467
...kidneys gone.
1189
01:30:09,198 --> 01:30:11,235
"Highly unresponsive."
1190
01:30:19,542 --> 01:30:21,021
Wait a second.
1191
01:30:25,715 --> 01:30:27,217
Four-five-seven-five.
1192
01:30:29,719 --> 01:30:32,598
Code blue, room 707.
1193
01:30:32,655 --> 01:30:35,033
Dr. Posner, P-o-s-n-e-r. Hurry up.
1194
01:31:02,518 --> 01:31:06,489
One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight, nine...
1195
01:31:06,556 --> 01:31:09,127
...ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen,
fourteen, fifteen.
1196
01:31:10,326 --> 01:31:11,930
- What are you doing'?
- Goddamn code--
1197
01:31:11,995 --> 01:31:13,736
- S he's DNR!
-S he's research!
1198
01:31:13,796 --> 01:31:15,036
She's no code!
1199
01:31:15,431 --> 01:31:16,910
She's no code!
1200
01:31:16,966 --> 01:31:20,379
Kelekian gave the order
and you were there, you saw it yourself!
1201
01:31:20,737 --> 01:31:22,114
God, the code.
1202
01:31:24,173 --> 01:31:26,084
Cancel code, Room 707.
1203
01:31:26,142 --> 01:31:27,621
Sue Monahan, primary nurse.
1204
01:31:27,910 --> 01:31:29,651
I got it.
1205
01:31:29,812 --> 01:31:32,793
No, the patient is no code. She's DNR!
1206
01:31:32,915 --> 01:31:35,623
- The patient is DNR!
- Clear!
1207
01:31:35,985 --> 01:31:38,465
Listen, she's "do not resuscitate"!
1208
01:31:38,521 --> 01:31:41,229
The patient is no code!
1209
01:31:41,724 --> 01:31:44,762
The patient is no code,
the order was given.
1210
01:31:44,827 --> 01:31:45,805
Stop it!
1211
01:31:49,699 --> 01:31:50,905
Do not resuscitate!
1212
01:31:54,504 --> 01:31:55,983
Move out of the way, go!
1213
01:31:57,573 --> 01:31:58,847
Clear.
1214
01:31:58,908 --> 01:32:03,220
- I made a mistake!
- The patient is no code!
1215
01:32:04,247 --> 01:32:07,023
- Who the hell are you?
- I'm Sue Monahan, the primary nurse.
1216
01:32:07,083 --> 01:32:09,063
Let me see the goddamn chart.
1217
01:32:11,187 --> 01:32:13,565
The patient is no code.
Just get away from her.
1218
01:32:13,623 --> 01:32:15,603
"Do not resuscitate. Kelekian."
1219
01:32:16,025 --> 01:32:17,800
The order was put in yesterday.
1220
01:32:17,860 --> 01:32:20,602
-It's a doctor screw-up.
- What is he, a resident?
1221
01:32:20,663 --> 01:32:22,438
Got us up here on a DNR.
1222
01:32:24,267 --> 01:32:26,679
Called a code on a no-code.
1223
01:33:11,748 --> 01:33:13,591
"Death
1224
01:33:13,683 --> 01:33:15,287
“Be not proud
1225
01:33:16,552 --> 01:33:20,591
"Though some have called thee
mighty and dreadful
1226
01:33:21,023 --> 01:33:23,970
"For thou art not so
1227
01:33:27,163 --> 01:33:31,578
"For those whom thou think'st,
thou dost overthrow
1228
01:33:31,667 --> 01:33:34,477
“Die not, poor death
1229
01:33:34,637 --> 01:33:37,709
"Nor yet canst thou kill me
1230
01:33:38,741 --> 01:33:42,188
"Thou art slave to Fate
1231
01:33:42,245 --> 01:33:46,853
"Chance, kings, and desperate men
1232
01:33:47,483 --> 01:33:52,398
"And dost with poison,
war and sickness dwell
1233
01:33:53,623 --> 01:33:58,038
"And poppy or charms
can make us sleep as well
1234
01:33:58,094 --> 01:34:00,335
"And better than thy stroke
1235
01:34:02,465 --> 01:34:05,173
“Why swell 'st thou then ?
1236
01:34:06,602 --> 01:34:09,344
“One short sleep past
1237
01:34:09,672 --> 01:34:12,209
"We wake eternally
1238
01:34:12,975 --> 01:34:15,979
“And death shall be no more, “...
1239
01:34:16,445 --> 01:34:17,981
...comma.
1240
01:34:19,215 --> 01:34:22,526
"Death thou shalt die"
92667
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