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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,963 --> 00:00:06,673 - Well, it's kinda hard for me to say. 2 00:00:07,883 --> 00:00:10,303 But since I got out, there's this place I've been going to. 3 00:00:11,303 --> 00:00:14,433 There's a minister there, Dr. Payne. 4 00:00:16,015 --> 00:00:19,595 He's all about this shit called, um, personal accountability. 5 00:00:20,938 --> 00:00:24,148 And part of that is facing up to people that you've hurt in the past, 6 00:00:25,651 --> 00:00:27,031 making amends and shit. 7 00:00:28,445 --> 00:00:29,695 So I came here today to, 8 00:00:31,114 --> 00:00:32,534 to tell you that, uh, 9 00:00:35,244 --> 00:00:37,294 that I deeply regret shooting you in the ass. 10 00:00:39,414 --> 00:00:41,634 You know, it was funny to me at the time, 11 00:00:41,625 --> 00:00:45,045 but now I realize that even though it was super funny, 12 00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:47,670 it was also wrong. 13 00:00:48,799 --> 00:00:50,879 So I just wanna say to you... 14 00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:52,094 that I'm sorry-- 15 00:00:52,094 --> 00:00:53,724 ANGEL: You didn't shoot me in my ass. 16 00:00:55,639 --> 00:00:58,269 It was the devil that shot me in my ass. 17 00:00:59,184 --> 00:01:01,484 All that crazy shit we did back in the day, 18 00:01:02,104 --> 00:01:03,654 the devil made us do it. 19 00:01:07,484 --> 00:01:09,034 - Nah, homey, I'm pretty sure it was me. 20 00:01:09,695 --> 00:01:12,195 'Cause I actually remember I was gonna shoot you in the leg, 21 00:01:12,197 --> 00:01:14,117 but then at the last second I thought, "Ah, fuck it. 22 00:01:14,700 --> 00:01:16,580 It'll be funnier if I shoot him in the ass." 23 00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:18,537 - And who do you think told you the ass would be funnier? 24 00:01:19,121 --> 00:01:20,541 The devil, bro. 25 00:01:20,539 --> 00:01:22,579 That dude's got a sick sense of humor. 26 00:01:23,542 --> 00:01:24,792 I was just like you. 27 00:01:25,377 --> 00:01:27,957 Weighed down by all the evil shit that I did. 28 00:01:27,963 --> 00:01:30,723 But once I realized that it was the devil's fault, 29 00:01:30,716 --> 00:01:32,376 poof, 30 00:01:32,384 --> 00:01:33,844 all that guilt washed away. 31 00:01:34,845 --> 00:01:36,635 So I appreciate you coming here today. 32 00:01:36,638 --> 00:01:38,348 But you don't owe me an apology. 33 00:01:38,974 --> 00:01:40,564 The devil did us both dirty. 34 00:01:42,227 --> 00:01:44,227 - Hey, dawg, you sure about this devil shit? 35 00:01:45,856 --> 00:01:47,856 ANGEL: The devil is all around us, my dude. 36 00:01:48,525 --> 00:01:49,985 And he's making you do shit. 37 00:01:53,405 --> 00:01:55,195 Spread the gospel. 38 00:02:04,499 --> 00:02:05,579 - Ah. 39 00:02:07,419 --> 00:02:08,709 [sighs] 40 00:02:12,549 --> 00:02:14,889 ♪ ominous music playing ♪ 41 00:02:14,885 --> 00:02:18,215 ♪ 42 00:02:29,733 --> 00:02:32,403 ♪ theme music playing ♪ 43 00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:36,992 ♪ 44 00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:40,450 ♪ 45 00:02:49,211 --> 00:02:52,421 ♪ 46 00:02:58,637 --> 00:03:00,757 MAGGIE: This bed is so tiny. 47 00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:04,482 A grown-ass man should not be sleeping 48 00:03:04,476 --> 00:03:07,056 in the same place where he got his first boner. 49 00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:10,726 - Nope. I got my first boner at church. 50 00:03:10,732 --> 00:03:12,322 I had a crush on La Virgen de Guadalupe. 51 00:03:12,317 --> 00:03:13,397 [Maggie chuckles] 52 00:03:13,402 --> 00:03:16,912 All covered up. What's under those robes, Lupe? 53 00:03:17,489 --> 00:03:19,069 - Fuckin' nasty, dude. 54 00:03:21,952 --> 00:03:23,792 We should get our own place. 55 00:03:23,787 --> 00:03:26,827 With a big-ass bed. 56 00:03:28,458 --> 00:03:30,788 And a giant toilet for your huge-ass dumper. 57 00:03:31,253 --> 00:03:32,633 - Heh... heh. 58 00:03:34,590 --> 00:03:36,590 ANA: Julio, I don't even know 59 00:03:36,592 --> 00:03:38,432 the last time I saw your hair messy. 60 00:03:38,969 --> 00:03:40,099 What are you trying to hide? 61 00:03:40,095 --> 00:03:41,715 - Let it go. - No, no, I'll show you right now. 62 00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:43,142 - Hey. ANA and MAGGIE: Oh. 63 00:03:43,140 --> 00:03:44,600 Oh! 64 00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:46,270 - Damn, okay. Ninja Warrior over here. 65 00:03:46,268 --> 00:03:49,558 - I've seen his hair messy plenty of times. 66 00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:51,273 Miren. I got pics. 67 00:03:51,273 --> 00:03:54,233 [laughter] [speaking Spanish] 68 00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:57,032 - It sticks straight up. 69 00:03:57,696 --> 00:03:58,906 ROCIO: Oh, that reminds me, 70 00:03:58,906 --> 00:04:03,286 Aiden, there's something you want to ask your tío Julio and tía Maggie. 71 00:04:03,994 --> 00:04:06,874 - Will you be my nino and nina for my first communion? 72 00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:09,751 - Oh, my God. - Oh. 73 00:04:10,459 --> 00:04:11,709 - Of course, mijo. 74 00:04:11,710 --> 00:04:13,210 - Ye-yeah, mijo, we'd love it. 75 00:04:30,854 --> 00:04:32,944 - Good luck getting rid of me now, Julio. 76 00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:34,150 [laughter] 77 00:04:41,073 --> 00:04:42,163 - Hey. 78 00:04:42,157 --> 00:04:43,947 - Jesus! You fuckin' creeper. 79 00:04:43,951 --> 00:04:45,491 - Hey, do you really think it's a good idea 80 00:04:45,494 --> 00:04:46,874 to have Maggie as the godmother? 81 00:04:46,870 --> 00:04:48,000 - Why wouldn't it be? 82 00:04:47,996 --> 00:04:50,616 - Well, I think Ana's feelings are hurt because you didn't ask her. 83 00:04:50,624 --> 00:04:52,924 You know, she's family. Maggie's not. 84 00:04:52,918 --> 00:04:54,668 ANA: Uh, not interested. God isn't real. 85 00:04:54,670 --> 00:04:57,510 When you die you go into the ground. End of story. 86 00:04:58,215 --> 00:04:59,215 - See? 87 00:04:59,216 --> 00:05:02,676 - Well, the other thing is me and Maggie just got back together again. 88 00:05:02,678 --> 00:05:04,138 You know our history. 89 00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:06,137 Who knows how long we're gonna be together this time? 90 00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:08,389 And then Aiden could lose his nina. 91 00:05:08,392 --> 00:05:09,642 Poor little guy. 92 00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:12,403 - Shut up, Julio. No one gives a shit about godparents. 93 00:05:12,396 --> 00:05:14,106 Do you remember who your padrinos are? 94 00:05:14,106 --> 00:05:15,856 - Socorro and Vicente. Great people. 95 00:05:15,858 --> 00:05:16,978 I'm actually gonna go see them later. 96 00:05:16,984 --> 00:05:19,824 - Oh, that's weird because they're dead and those aren't their names. 97 00:05:20,279 --> 00:05:21,609 - Okay, so what are their names? 98 00:05:21,613 --> 00:05:23,493 I'll go visit their graves and pay my respects. 99 00:05:24,533 --> 00:05:26,493 - I don't even believe in any of this Catholic shit anyways. 100 00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:27,913 I'm just trying to get this over with. 101 00:05:27,911 --> 00:05:29,451 - Wait, you don't believe? ROCIO: Ew, no. 102 00:05:29,913 --> 00:05:31,963 Just doing it for my mom and abuelita. 103 00:05:31,957 --> 00:05:34,167 Wait. Do you believe? - Of course not. 104 00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:37,092 - Why do you care if Maggie's madrina? 105 00:05:38,172 --> 00:05:40,632 - Okay. Fine, then. Yeah. Great choice. - I know. 106 00:05:40,632 --> 00:05:42,012 - I love it. 107 00:05:42,009 --> 00:05:43,179 Maggie's the madrina. 108 00:05:43,177 --> 00:05:44,297 - You dumbass. 109 00:05:45,137 --> 00:05:47,347 ♪ ominous music on TV ♪ 110 00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:56,268 [roaring] 111 00:05:56,273 --> 00:05:57,983 MICHAEL: Oh, jeez. Jeez! Oh, jeez! 112 00:05:57,983 --> 00:05:59,323 Oh, no, no, no. 113 00:05:59,318 --> 00:06:00,488 No, no. 114 00:06:01,195 --> 00:06:02,195 JULIO: [eerily] Aiden. 115 00:06:03,447 --> 00:06:06,947 ♪ ominous music plays ♪ 116 00:06:06,950 --> 00:06:08,700 ♪ 117 00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:12,162 So I guess you're pretty excited to have your tía Maggie as your godmother, huh? 118 00:06:12,581 --> 00:06:13,581 - Yeah. 119 00:06:13,582 --> 00:06:15,962 - The thing is, I don't think you should be. 120 00:06:16,627 --> 00:06:19,167 Your tía Maggie, she's bad. 121 00:06:19,171 --> 00:06:21,421 She's mean to your tío Julio. 122 00:06:21,423 --> 00:06:23,053 - What does she do to you? 123 00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:24,760 - She calls me nasty names. 124 00:06:25,928 --> 00:06:27,298 Like Pepperoni Tits. 125 00:06:28,805 --> 00:06:31,635 - That's funny. - Well, that's not all she does. 126 00:06:32,851 --> 00:06:33,851 She also hits me. 127 00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:35,728 - She does? 128 00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:38,319 - Yeah, she hits me really hard, and it hurts a lot. 129 00:06:38,941 --> 00:06:42,281 And if you let her be your godmother, she might start hitting you too. 130 00:06:43,153 --> 00:06:45,783 Also, she worships the devil. 131 00:06:45,781 --> 00:06:47,411 - [gasps] Does she drink your blood? 132 00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:49,117 - I've lost so much blood, mijo. 133 00:06:49,618 --> 00:06:51,198 - Is that why you look so old? 134 00:06:51,203 --> 00:06:53,713 ♪ 135 00:06:53,705 --> 00:06:54,915 - Yes. 136 00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:55,995 - Don't cry, tío. 137 00:06:55,999 --> 00:06:57,419 - I'm not crying. - Oh. 138 00:06:57,918 --> 00:06:59,958 Kinda looked like you were going to cry for a second. 139 00:06:59,962 --> 00:07:01,462 - No, I wasn't. - Oh. 140 00:07:01,463 --> 00:07:03,343 ROCIO: Okay, kids, it's time to go. 141 00:07:04,633 --> 00:07:06,933 - Okay, just tell your mom you don't want your tía Maggie 142 00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:08,257 to be your madrina, okay? 143 00:07:08,262 --> 00:07:10,012 - Okay. JULIO: I'll protect you. Give me a hug. 144 00:07:10,848 --> 00:07:12,268 [whispering] Get outta here. Go, go. 145 00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:14,516 [evil laughter on TV] 146 00:07:15,352 --> 00:07:18,232 - We are all animals, my lady. 147 00:07:19,231 --> 00:07:21,781 Most are too afraid to see it. 148 00:07:22,860 --> 00:07:23,860 JULIO: Hey. 149 00:07:24,570 --> 00:07:26,070 How are the amends going? 150 00:07:26,071 --> 00:07:27,531 I know that shit can be hard. 151 00:07:27,531 --> 00:07:29,121 - No, I'm not doing that shit anymore. 152 00:07:29,116 --> 00:07:30,776 Turns out the devil made me do all that stuff, 153 00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:32,414 so it wasn't even my fault. 154 00:07:32,411 --> 00:07:34,791 - What are you talking about, the devil made you do it? 155 00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:37,038 - Julio, you fucking pendejo! 156 00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:40,460 - Did you tell Aiden that Maggie hits you and worships the devil? 157 00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:42,670 - What? - It was a joke. 158 00:07:42,671 --> 00:07:44,261 That fuckin' snitch wasn't supposed to tell. 159 00:07:44,256 --> 00:07:46,376 And also, I was just giving you an out. 160 00:07:46,383 --> 00:07:48,643 You know, just in case you don't wanna be Aiden's godmother. 161 00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:50,885 - I didn't ask for an out. 162 00:07:50,888 --> 00:07:52,348 What the fuck is wrong with you? 163 00:07:52,347 --> 00:07:55,227 - You know what, Julio? You're fired as padrino. 164 00:07:55,225 --> 00:07:56,475 - Good. It's what you get. 165 00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:58,016 - Hey, Luis, you wanna be Aiden's nino? 166 00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:01,652 - Oh, wow. It's a lot of responsibility. 167 00:08:02,232 --> 00:08:03,902 You know, protecting him from the devil and all. 168 00:08:03,901 --> 00:08:05,821 Just wonder if I'm up for the task at hand. 169 00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:07,649 - Just fuckin' say yes, goddamn it. - Alright. Yes, I'll do it. 170 00:08:09,406 --> 00:08:11,526 Sabes que? I could get him a piñata for the after-party. 171 00:08:11,533 --> 00:08:12,623 [whistles] 172 00:08:12,618 --> 00:08:15,328 - People don't buy piñatas for a First Communion, dumbass. 173 00:08:15,329 --> 00:08:16,869 - You clearly don't know what you're talking about. 174 00:08:16,872 --> 00:08:18,042 You just got fired, bitch. 175 00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:20,080 - Why the fuck would you tell Aiden I hit you? 176 00:08:20,083 --> 00:08:21,083 - It was a joke! 177 00:08:22,503 --> 00:08:24,213 [camera shutter clicking] 178 00:08:24,213 --> 00:08:28,683 ♪ mariachi music playing ♪ 179 00:08:44,983 --> 00:08:46,823 ♪ 180 00:08:46,818 --> 00:08:49,398 LUIS: Hey, I like your necklace. - Oh, thank you. 181 00:08:49,404 --> 00:08:50,994 Um, you look good too. Is this a new tie? 182 00:08:50,989 --> 00:08:52,319 LUIS: Nah, I jacked it from Julio. 183 00:08:52,324 --> 00:08:53,494 [Luis laughs] 184 00:08:53,492 --> 00:08:55,412 It looks like I'd be the manager of Circuit City. 185 00:08:55,410 --> 00:08:56,540 - Okay. 186 00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:58,160 - Ay, see you in there. 187 00:08:58,163 --> 00:08:59,253 COUSIN JOHNNY: Damn. 188 00:08:59,998 --> 00:09:01,418 So you're a padrino now? 189 00:09:02,251 --> 00:09:03,381 Don't seem right to me. 190 00:09:03,377 --> 00:09:04,957 - Oh, shit, Johnny? 191 00:09:04,962 --> 00:09:06,262 It's been a long-ass time. 192 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,630 The last time I saw you, you were skinny. 193 00:09:09,174 --> 00:09:10,884 What happened, homey, you got a set of twins in there or what? 194 00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:12,094 - Hey, fuck you, perro! 195 00:09:12,970 --> 00:09:14,300 You got something you wanna say to me? 196 00:09:14,805 --> 00:09:15,845 - Like what? 197 00:09:15,848 --> 00:09:18,348 - Like a fuckin' apology for doing me dirty back in the day. 198 00:09:18,934 --> 00:09:20,694 - Oh! Hey, you know what? 199 00:09:20,686 --> 00:09:23,186 I recently found out it wasn't me that did you dirty. 200 00:09:25,190 --> 00:09:26,730 It was the devil. 201 00:09:27,192 --> 00:09:28,442 I'm mad he did you dirty too. 202 00:09:28,443 --> 00:09:30,073 JOHNNY: That's some bullshit. 203 00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:32,570 You're still a fuckin' asshole. 204 00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:34,910 With a godfather like you, 205 00:09:36,034 --> 00:09:38,414 I'm worried about little dude Aiden over there. 206 00:09:40,122 --> 00:09:41,422 Cabrón. 207 00:09:42,791 --> 00:09:43,791 - ¿Sabes que? 208 00:09:43,792 --> 00:09:46,302 I'm gonna be the best godfather that little fool's ever had. 209 00:09:48,255 --> 00:09:50,165 Aiden, where the fuck you going? 210 00:09:50,174 --> 00:09:52,054 - I-I gotta do my first confession. 211 00:09:52,050 --> 00:09:53,970 - Alright, then, I got you, mijo. 212 00:09:53,969 --> 00:09:55,219 I'm your fuckin' nino. 213 00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:56,850 [bell tolling] 214 00:09:56,847 --> 00:09:57,887 Let's go. 215 00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:03,596 - [nervously] Uh, hi, father, this is my first confession. 216 00:10:04,188 --> 00:10:06,568 - Nothing to be nervous about, my son. 217 00:10:06,565 --> 00:10:08,105 Just speak your sins. 218 00:10:09,651 --> 00:10:10,821 - Alleged sins, homey. 219 00:10:12,738 --> 00:10:15,618 - The sacrament of penance is one that must be taken privately. 220 00:10:15,616 --> 00:10:18,326 - It's cool, father, alright? I'm the nino. 221 00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:19,865 Go ahead, mijo. 222 00:10:20,537 --> 00:10:23,417 - I make fart noises with my armpit during school 223 00:10:23,415 --> 00:10:25,285 when the teacher isn't looking. 224 00:10:25,292 --> 00:10:27,172 I accused my brother Michael of farting 225 00:10:27,169 --> 00:10:29,419 when it was actually me who farted. 226 00:10:29,421 --> 00:10:31,841 And I farted on his face while he was sleeping. 227 00:10:32,257 --> 00:10:36,597 - Well, my son, farting itself is not a sin, 228 00:10:36,595 --> 00:10:39,095 but doing so with malice is. 229 00:10:39,097 --> 00:10:40,677 - Nah, nah, nah, hold up, dawg. 230 00:10:40,682 --> 00:10:42,482 The devil made him do those farts. 231 00:10:43,101 --> 00:10:47,271 - God gave us free will so that we may choose between right and wrong. 232 00:10:47,272 --> 00:10:48,902 - Damn, father! 233 00:10:48,899 --> 00:10:50,779 You're just gonna let the devil off the hook like that? 234 00:10:50,776 --> 00:10:53,236 And furthermore, you're gonna victim blame a little boy 235 00:10:53,237 --> 00:10:54,697 who was tricked by a demon? 236 00:10:54,696 --> 00:10:57,066 The devil made him throw those pedos. Satanas! 237 00:10:57,074 --> 00:10:59,084 - Let's forget about the devil right now. 238 00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:01,083 - Wish I could. 239 00:11:02,704 --> 00:11:04,674 - Tell me more about your sins, my son. 240 00:11:04,665 --> 00:11:07,495 - I also collect gum from underneath the tables 241 00:11:08,043 --> 00:11:09,803 and I put them in my brother's sandwiches. 242 00:11:09,795 --> 00:11:11,545 LUIS: Hey, homey, don't tell this fool anything else. 243 00:11:11,547 --> 00:11:12,547 Alright? We're done here. 244 00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:14,420 You know what, Mr. Priest? 245 00:11:14,424 --> 00:11:15,764 You got a lot to learn about the devil. 246 00:11:15,759 --> 00:11:17,389 Here, read this pamphlet I just got. 247 00:11:18,512 --> 00:11:19,512 Right here. 248 00:11:21,265 --> 00:11:23,635 - Wait. You're gonna break it. What are you trying to do? 249 00:11:23,642 --> 00:11:25,102 It doesn't fit. 250 00:11:25,102 --> 00:11:26,732 - Nah, nah, it'll get through there. 251 00:11:26,728 --> 00:11:28,058 PRIEST: You could give it to me outside. 252 00:11:28,063 --> 00:11:29,403 - Get it, get it, father. - It won't fit. 253 00:11:29,398 --> 00:11:31,068 LUIS: Alright, well, just come around and get it when we leave. 254 00:11:31,066 --> 00:11:32,986 Come on, let's go, mijo. - No, you can't leave that here. 255 00:11:34,862 --> 00:11:37,282 - So you're saying I'm possessed by the devil? 256 00:11:38,115 --> 00:11:39,405 - Yes. 257 00:11:39,408 --> 00:11:41,988 But I'm your nino, okay? I'm here to protect you from the devil. 258 00:11:42,578 --> 00:11:44,618 And I'm not gonna let some ruco who's never been laid 259 00:11:44,621 --> 00:11:47,331 try to make you feel guilty about something the devil made you do. 260 00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:51,250 - So whenever I do something bad it's not my fault, 261 00:11:51,253 --> 00:11:52,553 the devil made me do it? 262 00:11:52,546 --> 00:11:54,086 - You got it. 263 00:11:54,089 --> 00:11:56,089 Damn, you know what? You're super smart, mijo. 264 00:11:56,091 --> 00:11:57,471 Just like me. 265 00:11:57,467 --> 00:11:59,177 You know, they even made me repeat the third grade 266 00:11:59,178 --> 00:12:00,638 so I could help teach the other kids. 267 00:12:01,305 --> 00:12:02,555 Because that's how smart I was. 268 00:12:04,141 --> 00:12:07,391 ♪ organ music playing ♪ 269 00:12:07,394 --> 00:12:10,024 ♪ 270 00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:18,703 - You sure you wanna sit next to your abuser? 271 00:12:18,697 --> 00:12:20,817 - Come on! Are you really still mad at me? 272 00:12:20,824 --> 00:12:22,584 It's been a week already. ESPERANZA: Shh. 273 00:12:41,845 --> 00:12:43,135 CONGREGATION: Amen. 274 00:12:43,138 --> 00:12:45,518 [snoring] [priest speaking Spanish] 275 00:12:58,862 --> 00:13:00,532 - Maggie, I said I was sorry. 276 00:13:01,073 --> 00:13:03,083 What do you want me to do, some Hail Marys or something? 277 00:13:07,579 --> 00:13:09,499 Why do you even care about being godmother so much? 278 00:13:09,498 --> 00:13:11,288 You don't even believe in this Catholic stuff. 279 00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:12,421 - So? Neither do you. 280 00:13:12,417 --> 00:13:13,877 [all gasp] 281 00:13:13,877 --> 00:13:15,747 - [whispering] Both of you shut up! 282 00:13:21,552 --> 00:13:23,352 - Fine. I'm sorry, Mags, you're fired. 283 00:13:23,345 --> 00:13:24,505 [gasps] 284 00:13:24,513 --> 00:13:26,973 Ana, you're the godmother now. 285 00:13:26,974 --> 00:13:28,734 - [gasps] I don't wanna be the godmother. 286 00:13:29,268 --> 00:13:31,598 You know I don't believe in this stuff. 287 00:13:31,603 --> 00:13:34,483 - Well, today you do. So shut up and believe in God. 288 00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:35,691 Do it for Mom. 289 00:13:35,691 --> 00:13:36,731 ESPERANZA: Shh. 290 00:13:36,733 --> 00:13:39,363 - Hey. Congratulations. 291 00:13:39,361 --> 00:13:41,991 PRIEST: ...palabra de Dios. [bell rings] 292 00:13:41,989 --> 00:13:44,159 ♪ organ music playing ♪ 293 00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:48,907 ♪ 294 00:13:50,873 --> 00:13:51,873 - Amen. 295 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:54,000 - Ay! 296 00:13:55,460 --> 00:13:56,880 - The devil made me do it. 297 00:13:56,879 --> 00:13:59,459 ♪ 298 00:14:01,008 --> 00:14:03,178 [indistinct chatter] 299 00:14:03,177 --> 00:14:04,797 - Congratulations, mijo. 300 00:14:04,803 --> 00:14:07,473 You made the devil cry like a bitch when you ate la hostia. 301 00:14:07,472 --> 00:14:08,722 That's what's up. 302 00:14:08,724 --> 00:14:09,814 [all gasp] 303 00:14:10,309 --> 00:14:11,519 ROCIO: Aiden! 304 00:14:12,352 --> 00:14:13,352 What is this? 305 00:14:13,812 --> 00:14:16,022 - It's not my fault! The devil made me do it. 306 00:14:16,023 --> 00:14:17,573 He makes me do crazy things. 307 00:14:17,566 --> 00:14:19,566 Like fart and steal. 308 00:14:20,527 --> 00:14:21,647 LUIS: No, no, no. He's right. 309 00:14:21,653 --> 00:14:23,413 You know, the devil probably got pissed 310 00:14:23,405 --> 00:14:25,775 'cause God's winning Aiden over, so that red fool, you know-- 311 00:14:25,782 --> 00:14:27,532 - Shut the hell up about the devil. 312 00:14:27,534 --> 00:14:29,494 You've been talking about that crap all week 313 00:14:29,494 --> 00:14:31,084 and now you've put it in my son's head too? 314 00:14:31,079 --> 00:14:32,459 You're fired as padrino. 315 00:14:32,456 --> 00:14:33,826 - Oh, what? 316 00:14:36,293 --> 00:14:37,843 ALL: No! 317 00:14:46,261 --> 00:14:48,851 - Son... can I get one of those? 318 00:14:48,847 --> 00:14:50,677 - Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. 319 00:14:53,810 --> 00:14:57,400 - Hey, father, can I ask you for some fatherly advice? 320 00:14:57,940 --> 00:14:58,940 - Yes, my son. 321 00:14:59,483 --> 00:15:01,493 LUIS: Oh, you know, I think I'm just confused 'cause, 322 00:15:01,485 --> 00:15:03,145 you know, I missed a lot of church growing up 323 00:15:03,153 --> 00:15:04,663 'cause I was out there fuckin' around. 324 00:15:05,656 --> 00:15:07,736 Your boy put it down on these streets. 325 00:15:07,741 --> 00:15:10,791 But recently somebody told me that it was the devil that made me do all that shit. 326 00:15:11,537 --> 00:15:12,787 But then you were in there 327 00:15:12,788 --> 00:15:15,958 saying how God gives us the power to make our own choices. 328 00:15:15,958 --> 00:15:17,038 So now I'm thinking that, like-- 329 00:15:17,042 --> 00:15:20,212 - All you need to do is confess your sins to God 330 00:15:20,212 --> 00:15:21,922 and you shall be forgiven. 331 00:15:21,922 --> 00:15:23,592 - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 332 00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:26,390 You're telling me all I gotta do is confess to God and everything's cool? 333 00:15:26,385 --> 00:15:29,175 - Confession to God is the path to redemption. 334 00:15:29,930 --> 00:15:32,980 - Yeah, this Catholic shit is dope! 335 00:15:32,975 --> 00:15:34,635 No wonder why people give you all their money. 336 00:15:34,643 --> 00:15:36,603 Hey, hey, hey. ¿Sabes que, padre? 337 00:15:37,104 --> 00:15:38,864 Can we do a confession like right now? 338 00:15:40,858 --> 00:15:43,858 - In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. 339 00:15:43,861 --> 00:15:45,781 - Oh, shit. - You're forgiven. 340 00:15:46,405 --> 00:15:50,365 ♪ inspirational music plays ♪ 341 00:15:50,367 --> 00:15:52,487 - Hey. Gracias, padre. 342 00:15:52,494 --> 00:15:53,504 Gracias. 343 00:15:54,162 --> 00:15:55,912 - Wait. Can I get a light? 344 00:15:56,707 --> 00:15:58,457 Can I get a light? 345 00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:00,208 ♪ Spanish song playing ♪ 346 00:16:00,210 --> 00:16:02,460 [indistinct chatter in Spanish] 347 00:16:05,340 --> 00:16:07,590 [speaking Spanish] 348 00:16:09,386 --> 00:16:11,136 - Hola. - Hola. 349 00:16:12,431 --> 00:16:13,561 - I'm Julio's boss. 350 00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:15,934 Soy, uh-- 351 00:16:15,934 --> 00:16:17,484 Soy el jefe de Julio. 352 00:16:17,936 --> 00:16:19,856 - Ah! El jefe de Julio. MINISTER PAYNE: Julio's boss. 353 00:16:19,855 --> 00:16:21,355 Sí, sí, sí. 354 00:16:30,073 --> 00:16:31,073 - Sí. 355 00:16:32,159 --> 00:16:33,869 ♪ song continues ♪ 356 00:16:33,869 --> 00:16:35,659 - Hey, Maggie, I talked to Rocio 357 00:16:35,662 --> 00:16:37,252 and she says you're back on madrina status 358 00:16:37,247 --> 00:16:39,327 as long as I don't talk to her for the rest of the day. 359 00:16:39,333 --> 00:16:40,633 - I don't care. 360 00:16:40,626 --> 00:16:42,666 You threw me under the bus in front of your whole family. 361 00:16:43,128 --> 00:16:46,168 - Okay, look, sorry for blowing up your shit in front of my mom. 362 00:16:46,173 --> 00:16:48,383 It's just you're always hanging around with my fuckin' family. 363 00:16:48,383 --> 00:16:51,553 That shit stresses me out. We just got back together. 364 00:16:51,553 --> 00:16:55,143 - Dude, maybe I wouldn't hang with your family so much 365 00:16:55,140 --> 00:16:57,680 if you didn't still live at home like a fucking scrub. 366 00:16:57,684 --> 00:17:01,024 Until you cut the fucking umbilical cord and move out of your mom's house, 367 00:17:01,021 --> 00:17:02,771 that's just how it's gonna be. 368 00:17:04,775 --> 00:17:06,895 - Alright, fuck it. Let's move in together. 369 00:17:09,613 --> 00:17:11,783 - No mames. Fuck off. 370 00:17:13,075 --> 00:17:14,075 [grunts] 371 00:17:14,076 --> 00:17:17,786 ♪ 372 00:17:20,749 --> 00:17:21,749 JULIO: Why are you mad? 373 00:17:21,750 --> 00:17:23,210 - I'm mad because you're full of shit. 374 00:17:23,210 --> 00:17:24,630 You always say whatever you have to say in the moment 375 00:17:24,628 --> 00:17:26,508 to get out of trouble, and then you never back it up. 376 00:17:27,297 --> 00:17:29,257 - Hey, I'm serious this time. 377 00:17:29,258 --> 00:17:31,008 I wanna move in with you, 378 00:17:31,009 --> 00:17:32,929 but we're not moving into your place. 379 00:17:32,928 --> 00:17:34,258 We're starting new. 380 00:17:34,263 --> 00:17:38,933 Let's get our own place with a big-ass bed and a huge-ass toilet. 381 00:17:41,144 --> 00:17:42,734 - You better not be fucking with me this time. 382 00:17:42,729 --> 00:17:43,809 JULIO: Swear to God. 383 00:17:53,073 --> 00:17:55,413 - I can't believe you told Aiden I hit you. 384 00:17:55,409 --> 00:17:56,619 - You do hit me. 385 00:17:56,618 --> 00:17:58,078 - And how many times have I told you 386 00:17:58,078 --> 00:18:00,038 to keep your little whore mouth shut about it? 387 00:18:00,038 --> 00:18:01,828 ♪ Spanish rock song playing ♪ 388 00:18:01,832 --> 00:18:05,252 ♪ 389 00:18:05,252 --> 00:18:09,882 ♪ 390 00:18:12,968 --> 00:18:14,888 ♪ 391 00:18:18,432 --> 00:18:19,852 [Maggie chuckles] 392 00:18:19,850 --> 00:18:25,520 ♪ 393 00:18:25,522 --> 00:18:26,942 - No. Fuck that. 394 00:18:26,940 --> 00:18:29,360 She's a virgin. She needs to watch and learn. 395 00:18:30,110 --> 00:18:31,530 - Cállate, cochino. 396 00:18:31,528 --> 00:18:34,108 ♪ 397 00:18:34,823 --> 00:18:36,033 - Hey, Johnny. 398 00:18:39,912 --> 00:18:42,502 I wanted to tell you that shit that I did to you, 399 00:18:42,497 --> 00:18:43,827 it actually was my fault. 400 00:18:44,625 --> 00:18:46,125 But you know what, my boy? 401 00:18:46,126 --> 00:18:48,416 Luckily, I confessed to God, and that fool forgave me. 402 00:18:49,046 --> 00:18:51,296 So now you and I are all good. Come on, let's take a shot. 403 00:18:51,298 --> 00:18:54,378 - Dawg! You can't even say you're sorry. 404 00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:57,800 You're pathetic. 405 00:18:58,722 --> 00:18:59,892 - Hey, hey, hey. You know what? 406 00:18:59,890 --> 00:19:01,730 You're kinda being a dick right now, Johnny. 407 00:19:01,725 --> 00:19:03,845 You need to take this shot with me and chill out. 408 00:19:03,852 --> 00:19:05,152 [glass shatters] 409 00:19:05,145 --> 00:19:06,805 [all gasp] - Luis! 410 00:19:08,232 --> 00:19:09,232 - Fuck you, dawg! 411 00:19:21,578 --> 00:19:22,578 [all gasp] 412 00:19:34,341 --> 00:19:35,931 [snoring] 413 00:19:36,885 --> 00:19:42,215 ♪ 414 00:19:42,224 --> 00:19:43,644 MINISTER PAYNE: Hey, Luis. 415 00:19:43,642 --> 00:19:45,232 ♪ 416 00:19:45,227 --> 00:19:47,267 Rocio made me godfather. 417 00:19:47,271 --> 00:19:48,981 I'm a nino now. 418 00:19:49,773 --> 00:19:51,863 Which one is Aiden again? - Good for you. 419 00:19:52,276 --> 00:19:53,776 Everyone here thinks I'm an asshole. 420 00:19:54,361 --> 00:19:56,411 it's like, man, get over that shit. 421 00:19:56,405 --> 00:19:58,155 ♪ 422 00:19:58,156 --> 00:20:00,236 - So the amends aren't going well? 423 00:20:00,242 --> 00:20:01,702 LUIS: No, they're not. 424 00:20:01,702 --> 00:20:03,452 You know, this one fool told me that 425 00:20:03,453 --> 00:20:05,293 the devil made me do all the shit that I did. 426 00:20:06,123 --> 00:20:07,713 Turns out the devil ain't real. 427 00:20:07,708 --> 00:20:09,168 - Oh, no, the devil is real. 428 00:20:10,002 --> 00:20:11,712 He's just up here. 429 00:20:12,504 --> 00:20:15,594 And God is somewhere right over here. 430 00:20:17,092 --> 00:20:18,842 All that stuff is in your head. 431 00:20:18,844 --> 00:20:21,644 I mean, it can feel like there's a battle between good and evil, 432 00:20:21,638 --> 00:20:22,758 but really, it's just you. 433 00:20:22,764 --> 00:20:23,814 It's just your mind. 434 00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:28,100 You make choices, you often live to regret those choices. 435 00:20:28,687 --> 00:20:30,057 That's why you gotta say you're sorry. 436 00:20:30,063 --> 00:20:32,693 And that's not gonna undo what you did. 437 00:20:32,691 --> 00:20:35,111 But honestly, you're gonna hate yourself a lot less. 438 00:20:35,110 --> 00:20:38,030 So, you got that going for ya. 439 00:20:41,033 --> 00:20:45,083 Sooner or later, you gotta face that devil inside yourself. 440 00:20:50,083 --> 00:20:51,543 - That motherfucker. 441 00:20:53,253 --> 00:20:57,513 ♪ classical music ♪ 442 00:21:00,135 --> 00:21:03,925 ♪ Hallelujah, hallelujah ♪ 443 00:21:03,931 --> 00:21:06,101 [Maggie moaning] 444 00:21:07,309 --> 00:21:09,349 MAGGIE: Oh, my God. Oh, God! 445 00:21:09,353 --> 00:21:12,733 ♪ Hallelujah, hallelujah... ♪ 446 00:21:12,731 --> 00:21:14,111 Oh, my God! JULIO: Right there. 447 00:21:14,107 --> 00:21:15,527 MAGGIE: Oh, fuck! JULIO: Give it to me. 448 00:21:15,526 --> 00:21:17,896 ♪ 449 00:21:17,903 --> 00:21:19,203 MAGGIE: Oh, God! 450 00:21:19,196 --> 00:21:21,656 Oh, my God. Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 451 00:21:21,657 --> 00:21:23,827 [Maggie moans sharply] 452 00:21:23,825 --> 00:21:25,365 Oh, fuck! 453 00:21:25,369 --> 00:21:27,539 JULIO: Oh, shit. [Maggie panting] 454 00:21:27,538 --> 00:21:29,208 [murmuring] 455 00:21:30,666 --> 00:21:31,706 - Hey. [whistles] 456 00:21:32,417 --> 00:21:33,627 Everybody, listen up. 457 00:21:35,504 --> 00:21:37,384 I just want to apologize, alright? 458 00:21:38,632 --> 00:21:41,012 I'm sorry for everything I did to you in the past. 459 00:21:41,677 --> 00:21:42,677 Rocio, 460 00:21:43,512 --> 00:21:45,352 I'm sorry that I messed up your son's primero communion 461 00:21:45,347 --> 00:21:46,887 by telling him he was possessed by the devil. 462 00:21:47,808 --> 00:21:49,768 And I'm sorry that I tagged a dick on your car in high school. 463 00:21:49,768 --> 00:21:51,308 - I fucking knew it! - Shh. Shh. 464 00:21:51,311 --> 00:21:53,521 - They called me dick girl for a whole year. 465 00:21:53,522 --> 00:21:54,572 LUIS: I know. 466 00:21:55,065 --> 00:21:56,775 I was also one of the fools that called you that. 467 00:21:58,193 --> 00:21:59,193 My primo Johnny, 468 00:22:00,487 --> 00:22:01,947 sorry that I slept with your wife. 469 00:22:02,865 --> 00:22:04,405 What up, Myra? [whistles] 470 00:22:04,408 --> 00:22:05,488 That wasn't right, primo. 471 00:22:05,951 --> 00:22:07,951 Even if it was only because you weren't putting it down. 472 00:22:07,953 --> 00:22:11,003 - Luis, stay on track, buddy. 473 00:22:10,998 --> 00:22:12,708 - Okay, okay. I'm sorry. Nah, this feels good. 474 00:22:13,292 --> 00:22:14,292 Right, minister, thank you. 475 00:22:15,169 --> 00:22:16,169 To my tío Eugenio, 476 00:22:17,421 --> 00:22:18,671 I'm sorry for robbing you 477 00:22:19,339 --> 00:22:20,629 and for making fun of you 478 00:22:20,632 --> 00:22:22,382 because you were so scared that you pissed your pants. 479 00:22:22,968 --> 00:22:24,428 That shit was hilarious. 480 00:22:25,220 --> 00:22:26,310 But perdon, tío. 481 00:22:27,514 --> 00:22:28,524 And, Ana, 482 00:22:29,141 --> 00:22:31,061 I'm sorry I made your homegirl Loretta cry 483 00:22:31,059 --> 00:22:32,849 because she had a big forehead and I called her Forhedda, 484 00:22:32,853 --> 00:22:35,023 and all the homeys was like, Damn, my boy has to go," and I say, "Yeah." 485 00:22:35,022 --> 00:22:36,612 But looking back on it, that wasn't right. 486 00:22:37,733 --> 00:22:40,193 I'm sorry to my homie Spider. 487 00:22:40,777 --> 00:22:42,607 Sorry that I borrowed money from you. 488 00:22:42,613 --> 00:22:45,073 And then paid you back with money that I stole from you. 489 00:22:45,073 --> 00:22:46,663 That wasn't right, big dawg. 490 00:22:46,658 --> 00:22:49,578 But my advice is, you know, keep your feria in a safe. 491 00:22:50,329 --> 00:22:52,289 To my cousin Miguel, 492 00:22:52,289 --> 00:22:55,579 I'm sorry that whenever we played, I always socked you in your face. 493 00:22:56,210 --> 00:22:58,250 But you gotta practice your self-defense, my boy. 494 00:22:59,171 --> 00:23:00,711 And my tía Sofia, 495 00:23:00,714 --> 00:23:03,634 perdón por robarle el catalítico a tu carro. 496 00:23:04,676 --> 00:23:06,506 And to my cousin Ricky, 497 00:23:06,512 --> 00:23:08,682 I'm sorry that one time the police pulled us over 498 00:23:08,680 --> 00:23:09,930 and I had that gun on me. 499 00:23:09,932 --> 00:23:11,812 And, you know, I just said it was yours. 500 00:23:11,808 --> 00:23:14,268 Because I remember you saying you loved that movie Blood In, Blood Out. 501 00:23:14,269 --> 00:23:16,269 So I said, fuck it, let that fool experience 502 00:23:16,271 --> 00:23:18,021 prison if he loves that movie so much. 503 00:23:18,023 --> 00:23:19,443 Lo siento, primo. 504 00:23:19,493 --> 00:23:24,043 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 36877

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