All language subtitles for The.Agatha.Christie.Hour.S01E01.The.Case.of.the.Middle.Aged.Wife.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-squalor1

Is that you, George?

- Yes.

Go back to sleep, old girl.

What time is it?

- Rather late, I'm afraid.

Sorry I disturbed you.

- I don't mind.

Was it successful?

- Er, oh, I believe so.

Decent chap, Laidlaw.

Inclined to spin yarns about
his share of the market,

but a realist when it
comes to investment.

My collar's too tight, Maria.

- You're fatter
than you used to be.

All these restaurant meals
late into the evening,

fat doesn't get the
chance to disperse.

- Damned repulsive observation!

- Can't be good for you.

Where did you take him?

- A little place in,
um, hm, where was it?

Anyway, nowhere special.

- And did poor young Nancy
go along, too, to make notes?

- Don't be silly, Maria.

Well, did she?

- Yes, why not?

- You could be accused
of overworking that girl.

Doesn't it ever occur
to you that she might

have alternative ways
of filling her evenings?

- That's the point, she hasn't.

Week in, week out, she has
no pleasures, no treats!

I doubt if she gets a
square meal left to herself.

She's showing a keen
interest in the business.

Heart and soul in it, in fact!

And why?

Because she knows
now she has a chance

of entering a different world.

Silver cutlery, waiters
dancing attendance,

holding her shabby coat for her.

- Nowhere special, you said.

This restaurant where
you took Mr. Laidlaw.

If that isn't special,

let me know when you
find a place that is.

- Must you be so disagreeable?

It's too late!

- You're right.

It's too late.

Losing you to the golf club
was hard enough, now this.

- Hard, what do you
know of hardship?

I've made myself responsible
for your comfort and wellbeing

and after years of struggle,
you're well provided for.

- I struggle too!

- Yet you do nothing
but criticize

and complain and become
unreasonably jealous!

You've got a lovely home,
and yet you're jealous

of a young woman who
lives in mean, drab rooms,

with a scoundrel of a brother...

How do you know?

- Know what?

- Where she lives.

Have you been there, inside?

- It's the area,
they're all like that.

Have you been there?

I took her home in
a taxi once, once or twice.

Inside?

Well, of course not.

Then how do
you know it's drab?

- She said so.

Maria, the poor girl
has an awful life!

She's come to think
of me as a friend

who listens to her troubles
and helps where I can.

- Humbug!

- That'll do, Maria!

- We were poor once,
our home was never drab.

We distempered the ceilings
and painted the walls,

we made it seem bright!

She could do that if she tried

and paid less time
painting her face.

- That'll do, Maria!

I must catch the 8:45.

And taxis!

- What?

- Taxis, we never take taxis

unless we have luggage to carry,
it's not worth the expense!

What has come over you?

- You are being
regrettably awkward, Maria.

I must go.

Maria, Nancy is a sweet girl,
and it does a fellow good

to see the way she comes alive

after a simple gesture of
friendliness, but that's all.

No real harm in it,
I do assure you.

It's just that when
one is happy oneself,

one can afford to be
generous to others.

A great thing is to be happy!

- Humbug!

Edna!

Damnation, can nobody leave
a hat alone in this place?

George, how
can you be such a fool?

I won't stand it.

I won't stand it!

We'll see who's upset
and won't stand it.

What can I do?

Oh, absurd!

Absurd!

"Are you happy?

"If not, consult Mr. Parker
Pyne, 17 Richmond Street."

- Shall I clear now?

- You can do what
you like, Edna.

I'm going out.

- Chilly morning, sir.

- Yes, indeed.

Miss Purvis not in yet?

I dare say she's having
trouble with her tram.

- Good morning, Miss Draper.

Good
afternoon, Nancy!

- Oh, Miss Draper, you
are a one for old jokes.

Am I late?

- By 15 minutes.

Mr. Packington's here already.

- Oh, well, that's
all right, then.

You came in
answer to my advertisement?

- Yes.

- And you're not happy?

Well, very few people are.

You'd be surprised if you
knew how few people are happy.

- Indeed.

- Not interesting to you, I
know, but interesting to me.

You see, for 35 years of
my life I've been engaged

in the compiling of statistics
in a government office.

35 years, Mrs. Packington.

Now I'm retired and
it has occurred to me

to use the experience I've
gained in a novel fashion.

It's all so simple!

Unhappiness can be classified
under five main headings.

- Only five?

- No more, I assure you.

Ah, tea.

And ratafia biscuits.

- Oh, my favorites.

.

Unhappiness is a
malady, and once we know

the cause of a malady, the
remedy should not be impossible.

You see, my dear lady, I stand
in the place of a doctor.

Isn't that so, Miss Lemon?

- Yes just as a doctor first
diagnoses a patient's disorder,

then proceeds to recommend
a course of treatment.

- Of course there are cases

where no treatment
can be of any avail.

If this is so, I say
frankly I can do nothing.

But if I undertake a
case, Mrs. Packington,

the cure is
practically guaranteed.

- Yes, I don't think
it's very likely,

but on the other hand, I have
been so very unhappy lately

that it seemed a pity not to.

I couldn't help wondering if...

- Shall we diagnose your case?

Now, the trouble
concerns your husband.

You've had on the whole, I
think, a happy married life.

Your husband has,
I think, prospered?

And I think there's a young
lady concerned in the case.

- But how...

Perhaps a young
lady in your husband's office.

- How do you know all this?
- Statistics.

Life can seldom
offer me any surprises.

- Apart from the small elements,

which again, can be
statistically projected.

- Oh!

- Tell me, how is he
making you unhappy?

Oh, you can speak freely
in front of Miss Lemon,

she's utterly to be trusted.

- I'm sure.

Well, it's this girl.

Er, he pays her such attention.

He takes her on the river.

Well, I'm fond of going
on the river myself

and I like going to the theater,
but George has always said

that he was too tired
to go out at night.

Only now, now he takes
her out to dance.

Dancing, and comes home
at three in the morning!

- I've been a good
wife to George,

his clothes are always
mended, he gets good meals,

and the house is
economically run.

- No extravagance,
nothing wasted?

- Exactly!

And I've never even
looked at another man.

- Of course not.

- And now, when we've
got on in the world

and could enjoy ourselves
and get about a bit,

do all those things I've always
looked forward to doing...

- I assure you, I understand
your case perfectly.

- Can you do anything about it?

Certainly, dear
lady, there is a cure.

Oh, yes, there is a cure.

- What is it?

- You will place
yourself in my hands

and the fee will be 200 guineas.

- 200 guineas?

Well, you can afford

to pay such a fee,
Mrs. Packington.

- 210 pounds?

- You'd pay as much
for an operation,

and happiness is just as
important as bodily health.

- I pay you
afterwards, of course?

- On the contrary,
you pay me in advance.

- No, I'm sorry.

Um, I don't quite
see my way to, uh...

- To buying a pig in a poke?

Well, perhaps you're right,
it is a lot of money to risk.

But you see, you've
got to trust me,

you've got to ay the
money and take a chance.

Those are my terms.

- But 200 guineas?

It
is a lot of money.

Good morning, Mrs. Packington.

Let me know if you
change your mind.

- Yes, I don't think
that's very likely.

Forgive me for taking
up so much of your time.

Good-bye.

Good-bye,
Mrs. Packington.

Good-bye, and
thank you for the tea.

- Pleasure.

A new client?

- Hmm, a new client.

- Schedule A?

- Schedule A, of course.

Interesting how everyone thinks

his or her own case to
be unique .

Well, well.

Now, warn Claude.

At least an hour's briefing
tomorrow morning at Maroni's

and tell him not too
exotic, no scent,

and he'd better get
his hair cut short.

- Shall I make our
usual appointments
for Mrs. Packington?

- Yes, why not?

For the moment she's
jibbing, but she'll be back.

This afternoon probably.

About four.

- So, uh, somehow I shall have

to find five pounds
for a carpenter.

It was a rotten old
door in any case,

but you'd not think so to
hear our landlord carrying on.

- But if it was your brother
who did the damage...

- Oh, poor Eric.

He still has his debt
to the bank and no job.

No, it was my fault
for being out so late.

He wouldn't have used
his penknife on the latch

if I'd been at
home to let him in.

But there, I had
a wonderful time,

thanks to you, Mr. Packington.

I shan't let a broken
door spoil the memory.

I'm, uh, just a bit
nervous, that's all.

- Nervous?

- 'Til I can afford a new one.

You know, in case some
crank comes walking in

while I'm there alone and
no lock to prevent him.

- Yes, of course.

Nancy, tell your brother to
get a really good carpenter.

- Ten pounds?

- Well, my dear child, it is
my responsibility after all.

You must see that.

It would never have happened
if I'd got you home earlier.

- No, I oughtn't.

- I had to think
about it, you see.

I don't approve of gambling,

but I've never been afraid of
making sensible investments.

I needed a while to
decide what value

to place on my chances
of being happy.

- And you're not placing
a bet on an outsider,

Mrs. Packington,
but looking forward

to reaping a good
dividend .

Thank you.

I'm honored by your confidence.

A client who cannot trust me

is unlikely to benefit
from treatment.

- And now?

And now
you will return home.

- Home?

You have no important
engagements tomorrow?

- No, I, well, no, it's the
day we clean the brasses.

.

Will you make out a receipt
for Mrs. Packington, please,

and take a note of her address

and then order a taxi
for her journey home?

- Taxi? Oh no, I never
bother with taxis!

- Unless it's raining or
you have luggage to carry,

it's not worth the
expense, I know.

But circumstances change.

First post tomorrow morning

you will receive
certain instructions

which I will be glad
if you will carry out.

- Oh, this is for you, old dear.

- Oh.

Thank you, George.

An invitation!

- Ah, this is for you as well.

- Oh.

Thank you, George.

- Well, I'd better
be off, old dear.

Um, Maria, I may, well,
it's just possible

that I may be out to
dinner again this evening.

- What did you say?

- I said I may be out to dinner,

I have to see a man on business,

so if by any chance, uh...

Ah, Edna, good morning to you!

- Morning, sir.

Should I vacuum this morning

after I've cleared,
Mrs. Packington?

- You can vacuum and dust
and clean the brasses.

But first, would you
telephone for a taxi?

- A taxi?

- Yes, I've an extremely
full morning ahead

and I shall be lunching out.

- Well, what do I
do with the remains

of last night's beef?

- Throw it away.

- For your buttonhole?

- For you, Miss Lemon.

A late flowering rose,
not yet in full bloom.

Let us cherish it before the
frost nips it in the bud.

- Uh, Claude telephoned.

He wants to know which tie?

- Er, plain silk, dark.

Exclusive clubs
and public schools

mean nothing to Mrs. Packington.

- Quite.

- Oh, and tell him no overcoat.

She'll take it upon herself to
advise him to wrap up warmly.

You know, in their time,

I believe that both
Mr. and Mrs. Packington

have experienced what
it's like to be cold.

- A chill?

We can't have that!

- I felt simply awful when
I woke up this morning.

I had to drag myself here.

I didn't want to let you
down, Mr. Packington.

- Poor child, you
look starved through!

Now, Nancy, permit
me to mention it,

but your coat, it's thin.

It's terribly thin!

- But it's my best
coat, Mr. Packington!

I'm saving up, but I can't
afford a new one this winter.

- Now I've offended you.

Oh, no.

- Good.

Now, I want no
nonsense about this.

- Oh, but Mr. Packington,
I couldn't possibly...

- No, no silly pride.

- Oh, thank you very
much, Mr. Packington.

- This may not be all
together pleasant, madam,

but we need a firm
jaw line, don't we?

- Actually, it's quite relaxing.

- Well, then, we can let our
eyelids close ever so gently,

because we shall have
to spend 10 minutes

on our fine crow's feet.

- The steam was relaxing.

- And how it opened
our pores, madam.

How it opened our pores!

Such neglect.

This should have been
taken in hand years ago.

However, it's not too late.

These little frown lines.

Just a modicum of
attention once a fortnight,

and we must never allow
ourselves to frown.

- You see, I knit, I knit a lot.

- Claude, punctual
to the minute.

Well done, my dear fellow.

Appearance excellent,
except for, um, what is it?

Oh, yes, the center parting.

You know, that's a
style guaranteed to
unnerve the timorous.

- I've time to change it.

- Oh, yes, indeed, although
I have an extensive amount

of data for you to absorb and
use with your customary skill.

Come and have a drink.

Our subject may well be late,

she has much to occupy
her this morning.

Two pink gins, please.

Now, with this client, you
could start with hardship.

You know, a sad childhood maybe.

Draw her out, Claude.

She was extensively concerned

with her husband's
business once,

and now she remains at home,

harassed by a servant she
doesn't need

For the first time in
her life, oh, thank you,

Maria Packington has the
leisure for a little frivolity.

- This isn't a typical
Schedule A, is it?

- My dear Claude, it's
a perfect example.

- Oh!
- Cheers.

- There, madam, almost ready.

No need to worry, our
receptionist has ordered a taxi

to whisk you to Elize Modes.

- But...
- When dear Miss Lemon

makes appointments
for her friends,

they always go on from
here to Elize Modes,

Monsieur Maurice.

I trust madam wouldn't dream
of patronizing anyone else?

- Well, actually, I...

- Of course not, madam.

Monsieur Maurice has
infallible instinct.

A titled lady known to us
had always worn bright green,

hadn't she, until she put
herself into his care.

Imagine a lifetime of
slavery to the notion

that one could ever appear in
public dressed as a lettuce.

Now, madam.

- Oh!

- Mrs. Packington, I'm
delighted to see you,

as would be every
man of good taste.

You look charming.

- Thank you.

- And, uh, how do you feel?

- Different.

Come and sit down.

I ventured to order
you a White Lady.

.

Now, listen carefully
to me, my dear.

I've given your case
considerable thought,

and I have decided that your
husband must be made to sit up.

You understand?

To sit up.

Now to bring this about,

I am going to introduce you
to a young friend of mine.

You will take luncheon
with him today.

- Not with you?

Oh, but what about your friend?

I mean, won't he mind?

- I mean, I wouldn't want to...

- Shall we, drink to your
health and happiness?

- One being as
important as the other.

I'm not used to cocktails.

I'm not used to any of this.
- Trust me.

Ah, Claude!

Mrs. Packington, allow me
to present Mr. Luttrell.

- Delighted to meet you.

- I was always a
plain cook myself.

My husband used to prefer it.

- But there's no food in Europe

to compare with an
English Sunday dinner

cooked at home by
a woman who cares.

- You must miss the
sunshine, Mr. Luttrell.

- Oh, not really.

There's more romance
in an English autumn,
wouldn't you say?

- I expect it's very nice in
the South of France though.

- Well, yes.

But the sight of trees
in a London square,

their leaves turning
bronze, drifting down,

rustling along the pavements,

and that hint of
mist in the morning.

I wouldn't exchange that

for all the delights
of the Riviera.

- Mm, I know what you mean.

I used to work for
George when we,

when he started in business.

Just clarking, typing,
answering the telephone,

that sort of thing,
nothing important.

But we had a flat in Muswell
Hill then and we used to

walk to the Tube through
Highgate Woods every morning,

and there were
squirrels in the trees,

always squirrels
playing .

It was a good
beginning to the day.

- Did you enjoy being
a businesswoman?

- Well, I seem to have
had a head for figures.

I suppose it's rather like
working out knitting patterns.

I like doing that.

The more complicated the better.

Yes, I enjoyed it.

It was hard work there and
not very successful at first.

I'd send out hundreds of letters

and price lists
without much response

and then a few orders would
come in and then some more,

and in the end it was a
treat to see George's face

when we opened the
post in the mornings.

We're in Bakelite, you know.

- Ah, Bakelite.

- Hmm.

Mainly domestic goods.

No.

No more, Mr.
Luttrell, thank you.

And then we moved
to a bigger house

and George felt that,
well, it wasn't quite right

for a man in his position to
have a wife at work and so...

- So now you're free
to enjoy yourself?

- Yes, I suppose I am.

Splendid!

Are you fond of dancing?

- I used to be.

- Do you know the Aphrodite?

- No, we seldom go out nowadays.

My husband doesn't care
to go out in the evenings.

Then I
must take you there.

- Oh, don't be
absurd, Mr. Luttrell.

- Mr. Packington
couldn't be so unkind

as to keep you at home.

Well, you must tell him.

Women don't tolerate
male jealousy these days.

- Jealousy doesn't come...

What?

- The Aphrodite.

There's a marvelous dance band.

When shall we go?

- Is it a nightclub?

One of the best.

Tomorrow?

- Well, my husband may not...

Very well, Mr. Luttrell.

Tomorrow.

- Maria, it's possible...
- George, would it be...

I'm sorry, dear, you
were going to say?

- No, no, after you, old dear.

- Well I was just wondering
about your evening arrangements.

I know you'll think
it ridiculous,

but I wondered if you'd mind...

- Yes, I do, I do mind, Maria!

If a wife has
nothing better to do

than keep checking
up on a fellow,

then I suggest she
takes up a useful hobby!

- George!

- Keep her thoughts occupied

and put a stop to these
damnable suspicions!

- Very well, George, I
shall take up a hobby!

- Good!

- Your mail, sir.

- Hmm?

Oh.

- And a young man
brought this for you.

Miss Purvis' brother, he said.

- Hmm?

Poor Miss Purvis!

A shocking cold!

I saw this coming
on, Miss Draper.

We've been overworking
the poor girl.

Do you think perhaps
a few dozen roses?

- 10 pound for a carpenter,
15 for a new coat.

That makes 25 quid
in three days.

- What shall we
do with it, Eric?

- There's a very classy gee-gee

running in the 2:30
at York on Saturday.

What you got in
mind for next week?

- Ooh, I thought
perhaps burst pipes.

- Who's a clever girl, then?

- Mrs. Packington,
you are without doubt

the best dancing
partner I've ever met.

- Mr. Luttrell, you
are without doubt

the most outrageous
flatterer I've ever met.

- I mean it!

- I'm no expert, I was
simply following you.

- How charming you look.

That really is a
most attractive gown.

- Yes, isn't it?

This morning it simply
arrived on approval!

- We approve!

- We do!

Although I doubt if my husband
will when he sees the bill.

Mr. Luttrell, you're
being very kind to me.

I know Mr. Parker Pyne must
have arranged it, but thank you.

- The pleasure's all
mine, Mrs. Packington.

- You know such exciting
people and places,

I'm just a little
afraid I shall bore you.

- Nonsense!

- But society ladies...

- Are spoiled children and
easily bored themselves

and therefore utterly
boring company.

You, you revel in
the least novelty.

You have a vast
capacity for enjoyment.

I find it enchanting.

Shall we dance?

* I know why I've waited

* Know why I've been blue

* Prayed each
night for someone *

* Exactly like you

* Why should we
spend some money *

* On a show or two

* No one does
those love themes *

* Exactly like you

* You make me feel so grand

* I want to hand
the world to you *

* You seem to understand

* Each foolish little
scheme I'm scheming *

* Dream I'm dreaming

* Now I know why Mother

* Taught me to be true

* She meant me for someone

* Exactly like you

Is that you, Maria?

- Yes, dear.

Go back to sleep.

What time is it?

- Quite late, I'm afraid.

Sorry I disturbed you.

- Where have you been?

- You told me to take
up a hobby, George.

- Yes.

- Mrs. Packington, she says
she'll have her breakfast

in bed on a tray
this morning, sir,

what with her
deciding on a lie-in,

like a proper respectable
lady in a book.

* You're nobody's
sweetheart now *

* They don't baby you somehow

- Oh, yes, I think my own
capacity for enjoyment

was well and truly thrashed
out of me at public school.

- What was your mother
thinking of to have allowed it?

- Of my father and his
ambitions, I suspect.

In my experience, too many
women tend to devote themselves

to their husband's
aggrandizement, exclusively.

I spent my entire
youth looking forward

to attaining the age of
21 and taking control

of my own destiny and fortune.

- What a sad waste.

- Yes.

Because before I
reached independence,

my family had been ruined

and my expectations
reduced to nothing.

The war began it, you know.

- Yes.

- All our horses were
requisitioned, the
house, everything.

- Yes, it was a terrible time.

I was anxious for George.

- So my father sold
up for a pittance

and took us all to the Riviera.

The rest of our fortune was
lost on the gambling tables.

For 10 years now, I've
drifted along on the patronage

of sympathetic
old acquaintances.

It's wearing pretty thin.

I can tell you, Mrs.
Packington, strictly entre nous,

I've often felt so despondent
I've thought of ending it all.

- Oh, no!

No, you must never
think like that!

- But now, meeting someone
so, so eager to enjoy life,

well, you make me
ashamed of the notion.

- I should think so indeed!

- This report is all
very well, Claude,

but we did expect it first thing

and it is now nearly five to 11.

He overslept.

- What?

If you think it's an
appropriate moment.

A small tribute,
nothing too absurd,

then let us know your plans.

Good luck.

Really, Miss Lemon,

what has luck to
do with anything?

- They have been lucky
with the weather.

- Oh, any caprice is capable
of being turned to advantage.

- It's easier to prolong

a luncheon engagement
on a fine afternoon.

Yesterday the lady expressed
a desire to go to Kew.

- Kew Gardens?

And an art gallery?

And dancing until
the small hours?

No wonder he
overslept!

Does it occur to
you, Miss Lemon,

that Claude seems to be bringing

total concentration
to this assignment?

- I think he's enjoying it.

- Yes, the thought
had occurred to me.

- Maria.

- Hello, Claude.

Goodness, your hands are cold!

Sit down, I've ordered some tea.

- Lovely.

- Did you come
without an overcoat?

- It seemed a bright afternoon.

It always does when
I'm meeting you.

- That's a charming compliment,

but not worth catching cold for.

- Oh, a small tribute.

Gilding the lily, of course.

- In my case it's more like
gilding the gingerbread,

but let that pass.

Oh, how pretty!

I haven't a brooch or anything.

- Do you think you could
possibly find the lady a pin?

- A pin?

Yes, sir, I expect so.

- I must knit you
a warm pullover.

What's your favorite color?

- The color of your eyes.

- Sort of nondescript
buff, then?

Maria,
you are a joy.

- Because I laugh at myself?

Don't you think I am wise to?

The joke being that here
am I, a middle-aged woman,

having afternoon tea
with a most agreeable

and attractive young man.

You don't ever...

You wouldn't ever laugh at
me behind my back, would you?

- Maria!
- It's all right.

Claude, I've been thinking.

- What?

- You don't seem to
have a very high opinion

of society ladies, but there
are other kinds of girls,

you know, warm,
affectionate girls.

You might find one who
wouldn't break your heart.

- I rather thought
I'd found her, Maria.

- Oh, no.

- Where shall we
go this evening?

- Wherever you like.

- The Aphrodite?

- You're only say that
because you know I love it.

- No, no, it's
selfishness really.

I want what makes you happy.

- The lady's pin, sir.

Oh, I say!
- Oh, how absurd!

- What service!
- Wonderfully absurd!

- Magnificent, thank you.

- Ah, could I speak to Mr.
Claude Luttrell, please?

- Hello?

Does it have to be tonight?

- Mr. Parker Pyne's sense
of timing is impeccable.

- Damn him.

All right, the Aphrodite.

- The Aphrodite.

- Oh, how very convenient.

Shall
I get the manager?

- If you would be so kind.

- Claude doesn't
sound at all happy.

Do you think he could be
trying to spin this one out?

- Well, that would be
creating a precedent.

- Precedents do occur.

Mr. Cornelius, please.

- And it's very
annoying when they do.

- Mr. Parker Pyne.

- The whole statistical
basis has to be recalculated.

Let's hope you're being unduly
pessimistic, Miss Lemon.

- I have Mr. Parker
Pyne for you.

- Who?

- Mr. Cornelius.

Yes, all well?

Good, look, I think it's
time for a membership drive.

Yes, one of your special cards,

delivered by hand
this afternoon to

Mr. George Packington and guest.

Packington Products Limited,
King George V Estate, Neasden.

- Two Ps in appalled, Nancy.

Are you sure you
be back at work?

- I couldn't stay away any
longer, Mr. Packington.

- Well, we must do something
about getting the roses

back into those pretty
cheeks, cheer you up!

You think you could
you endure the company

of an old buffer
again this evening?

- 'Spect so.

Oh, I mean, I told
you, Mr. Packington,

you don't seem a bit old to me.

- Then here's a
heaven-sent opportunity,

it arrived this afternoon.

The Aphrodite, some nightclub
looking for new members.

"Mr. George
Packington and guest."

- How did they get your name?

- One is known, you know, Nancy.

Sounds rather jolly.

You won't have been anywhere
like it, I'll be bound.

What do you say?

- No, I'm sure it's much too
smart for me, Mr. Packington.

Why, I haven't a
dress fit to wear.

- What happened there?

- My husband's here!

- With that girl?

- Yes.

- Do you want to sit down?

- No.

Hello, George.

I should like to sit
down now, please.

How terribly he
wants to be young.

Claude, what do you
think of Mr. Parker Pyne?

Offering his services
to people like myself?

People browsing through the
agony column to pass the time?

People desperate enough to try
to buy a chance of happiness?

Is he a charlatan
or just a magician?

- Does it matter, if he's been

instrumental in
making you happy?

- Statistics can't provide
a perfect answer every time.

- No.

Shall we dance again?

- Yes.

* We've played the
game of stay away *

* But it cost more
that I can pay *

* Without you I
can't make my way *

* I surrender dear

* When stars appear
and shadows fall *

* Why then you'll hear

* My poor heart call

* To you my love
my life my all *

* I surrender dear

- Ah, you're back.

- Yes, I'm back.

Rather
odd, uh, meeting you.

- Yes, wasn't it?

I, I thought it
would be a kindness

to take that girl somewhere.

She's been having
a bad time at home

and I thought, well,
a kindness, you know.

Who was that chap you were with?

I haven't met him, have I?

- Luttrell, his name is.

Claude Luttrell.

How'd
you come across him?

- Someone introduced me.

- Rather an odd thing
for you to do, wasn't it?

Go out dancing at
your time of life?

Mustn't make a fool
of yourself, old dear.

- A change is always nice.

- Yes, but you must be careful.

A lot of these lounge lizard
fellows going around, you know,

and middle-aged
women do sometimes

make awful fools of themselves.

Just warning you, my dear.

I wouldn't like you to
do anything unsuitable.

- I find the
exercise beneficial.

I expect you do too.

Great thing is to
be happy, isn't it?

I remember you saying so
one morning at breakfast,

about 10 days ago.

.

- Schedule A: final phase,
final briefing, Miss Lemon.

Claude has accomplished
another successful assignment.

- Her husband has
seen them together?

- Yes, and will have
warned her against him.

- Splendid!

I wonder what your
little present will
be this time, Claude.

Well, when she
meets him at luncheon today,

a gold watch in all probability.

- Oh, no, too formal.

A gold cigarette case perhaps.

And,
Claude, at luncheon,

I think would be
the moment for you

to renounce your way of life.

- So soon?

- About three, shall we say?

- For me?

- Yes.

I hope you like it.

- Why'd you give me this?

I won't take it.

Take it back.

- But...
- Take it back, I say.

- I'm sorry.

- You think I'm just
a gigolo, don't you?

A creature who lives on
women, a lounge lizard.

You do, don't you?

- I said I'm sorry,
it was tactless.

- Oh, so you should think
it of me, it's true.

Oh, yes, I had my orders to
take you about, to amuse you,

to make love to you, make
you forget your husband.

- Claude, I guessed and
it doesn't matter...

- But that was my job,
Maria, a despicable one, eh?

- Why are you
telling me all this?

- Because I'm through with it!

I can't carry on like
this, not with you.

You're different, Maria.

You're the kind of woman I
could believe, trust, adore.

Oh, I know you think it's
all part of the game.

Well, it isn't,
and I'll prove it.

I'll have to go
away because of you.

I'm gonna turn myself
into a man because of you,

instead of the loathsome
creature that I've become.

- Go away?

Is that necessary?

- It's the only way!

I've been a rotter, always,

but I swear to make
good from now on.

You read the agony
column, don't you?

Well, on this day every year
you will find a message there.

- Oh, Claude, please...

- A message saying
that I remember you

and that I'm making good.

Every year.

You'll know then all
you've meant to me.

And one thing more.

I've taken nothing from you.

I want you to take
something from me.

- No, I couldn't.

- Maria, shut up, will you?

I'm trying to say goodbye.

This was my mother's,
I'd like you to have it.

Good-bye, Maria.

- Look here, Maria,
about that girl.

- Yes, dear?

- I never meant to upset
you, you know, about her.

Nothing in it.

- I know.

I was foolish.

See as much of her as you
like if it makes you happy.

- Maria!

- Yes, George?

- Why, it isn't right for a wife

to urge a fellow to
take a girl about.

- It isn't?

- Well, no, it's
not, well, decent!

- Not so much fun, you mean.

- Fun had nothing to do with it!

- No, George.

What you
don't seem to realize is

that it takes it out of a
fellow that sort of thing.

- What sort of thing, George?

- Dancing, that sort of thing.

- I must say, dear, you
are looking rather tired.

- I could do with a holiday.

We might go away
together somewhere for
a break if you like.

- Don't worry about
me, I'm quite happy.

- Damn it, woman, I'd like
to take you somewhere!

We might go to the Riviera.

What do you say to that, hmm?

- Perhaps Torquay.

- Papworth,
Packford, Packington.

There!

I'm right in thinking
this case is closed?

- Ah, assuredly.

What was the
entertainments account?

- 102 pounds, 14
shillings and sixpence.

- Ah.

Ah, good morning, Claude.

Everything go on satisfactorily?

- Yes, I suppose so.

- The ring, what name did
you have inscribed in it, hm?

- Mathilda 1899.

- Excellent, and the wording
for the advertisement?

- Making good, still
remember, Claude.

- Make a note of
that, Miss Lemon.

To be inserted in the
agony column on what is it,

November the 1st, for, let me
see the entertainments again.

Yes, 10 years, I think.

That'll leave us a
profit of

90 pounds and that's adequate.

- Mr. Parker Pyne, there's
something I've got to say.

- Yes, Claude?

- I don't like any of
this, it's a rotten game!

- My dear boy!

You better come
through for a moment.

I think we may have a
small element of surprise.

- It could have been
statistically projected.

Well, Claude?

- That was a decent
woman, a good sort!

Telling her all those lies,

filling her up with
the usual sob stuff!

Well, I've had enough!

It makes me sick!

- Dear me, I don't
recall your conscience

ever troubling you before,

you've had a splendidly
notorious career!

- Well, I'm beginning to feel
differently about it all.

Look, this game, it
isn't, it isn't nice!

- Now, look at it
this way, Claude.

Instead of displaying
your usual callous,

mercenary instinct, you
have given an unhappy woman

what every woman
needs, a romance!

A woman tears a
passion into pieces

and gets no good from
it, but a romance?

A romance, my dear Claude,
can be laid up in lavender

and looked at through all
the long years to come.

I know human nature,
my boy, and I tell you

that a woman can feed on
such an incident for years!

I think we can safely say
that we have discharged

our commission to Mrs.
Packington very satisfactorily.

- Well, I don't like it!

Ah, interesting
vestiges of conscience

noticeable in hardened
lounge lizard.

Note, study developments.