Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:23,815 --> 00:00:26,609
Okay. I got the almond milk
for Benecio.
2
00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:28,153
[object clattering]
3
00:00:30,405 --> 00:00:32,323
[thunderclap]
4
00:00:33,992 --> 00:00:34,951
Ah!
5
00:00:35,744 --> 00:00:37,620
[panting] Ah!
6
00:00:37,704 --> 00:00:39,998
Always with the dead ends.
7
00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:41,708
[gasps]
8
00:00:41,791 --> 00:00:43,418
Why are you still
chasing me?
9
00:00:43,501 --> 00:00:44,794
I'm a different person now.
10
00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:46,921
I haven't been
in a dark alley in forever.
11
00:00:47,005 --> 00:00:49,591
Come on,
I'm a stay-at-home dad.
12
00:00:49,674 --> 00:00:51,468
I mean, I'm not their "Dad."
13
00:00:51,551 --> 00:00:52,969
I'm not trying to replace him.
14
00:00:53,052 --> 00:00:54,888
Unless one day they asked me.
[chuckles nervously]
15
00:00:54,971 --> 00:00:57,724
I mean, that would mean
the world to me.
16
00:00:57,807 --> 00:00:59,142
[thunderclap]
17
00:00:59,225 --> 00:01:01,269
[gasps and grunts]
18
00:01:01,352 --> 00:01:03,772
You know, we missed you
at the school bake sale.
19
00:01:03,855 --> 00:01:05,648
All the parents took a vote.
20
00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:09,611
Your lemon squares sucked
and you're gonna die.
21
00:01:09,694 --> 00:01:11,738
-[laughs maniacally]
-[screams]
22
00:01:11,821 --> 00:01:12,655
[panting]
23
00:01:12,739 --> 00:01:13,990
[sighs in relief]
24
00:01:14,073 --> 00:01:16,159
[speaks in Spanish]
Que paso, corazon?
25
00:01:16,242 --> 00:01:18,077
Did you have another
Debbie nightmare?
26
00:01:18,161 --> 00:01:19,496
[groans] Yes.
27
00:01:19,579 --> 00:01:21,289
Aww... mi amor.
28
00:01:21,372 --> 00:01:23,124
Did you have
the chorizo dream?
29
00:01:23,208 --> 00:01:25,210
No, she didn't try
to cut off my penis,
30
00:01:25,293 --> 00:01:27,003
and serve it
at a book fair again.
31
00:01:27,086 --> 00:01:30,340
But I haven't had a decent
night's sleep in weeks.
32
00:01:30,423 --> 00:01:36,137
Bethany... this Debbie may be
my most challenging enemy yet.
33
00:01:36,221 --> 00:01:39,682
♪ I used to think lifewas a tragedy ♪
34
00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:42,977
♪ An agent of Chaoswas all I could be ♪
35
00:01:43,061 --> 00:01:46,856
♪ But I found a best friendwho completes me ♪
36
00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:50,610
♪ And now I realizelife's a comedy ♪
37
00:01:50,693 --> 00:01:54,197
♪ Wait 'til they geta load of us ♪
38
00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:57,867
♪ No one will ask"Why so serious?" ♪
39
00:01:57,951 --> 00:02:01,162
♪ All it takesis a joke a day ♪
40
00:02:01,246 --> 00:02:05,208
♪ To keep the gloom away ♪
41
00:02:05,291 --> 00:02:08,419
♪ We live in a society ♪
42
00:02:08,503 --> 00:02:12,382
♪ But, baby, it feels likeit's just you and me ♪
43
00:02:12,465 --> 00:02:16,052
♪ I think you and Iare destined to do this ♪
44
00:02:16,135 --> 00:02:17,887
♪ Forever ♪
45
00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:20,598
♪ Wait 'til they geta load of us ♪
46
00:02:20,682 --> 00:02:22,100
-[Joker humming]
-[laugh track playing]
47
00:02:22,183 --> 00:02:23,560
Good morning, Janice.
48
00:02:23,643 --> 00:02:26,604
How is the most beautiful
school receptionist?
49
00:02:26,688 --> 00:02:28,398
-Oh, you!
-[laugh track plays]
50
00:02:28,481 --> 00:02:30,567
Oops! Let me turn this off.
51
00:02:30,650 --> 00:02:32,235
I was just sneaking my shows.
[chuckles]
52
00:02:32,318 --> 00:02:33,987
But who needs TV
when you've got
53
00:02:34,070 --> 00:02:36,364
Gotham City's most infamous
criminal mastermind
54
00:02:36,447 --> 00:02:38,616
turned sane bartender
turned back into unhinged
55
00:02:38,700 --> 00:02:40,785
but now equally
charming psychopath.
56
00:02:40,869 --> 00:02:43,246
[laughs] Janice, please.
57
00:02:43,329 --> 00:02:47,500
I'm just plain ol' Benecio
and Sophia's stepdad.
58
00:02:47,584 --> 00:02:49,752
Speaking of, do you have
the student list
59
00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:52,255
for the new Spanish
dual immersion program?
60
00:02:52,338 --> 00:02:55,967
It's so important to us
that our kids get
a bilingual education.
61
00:02:56,050 --> 00:03:01,097
Well, I'm not really
supposed to show
this list until next week.
62
00:03:01,180 --> 00:03:03,391
-I don't know...
-Mmm.
63
00:03:03,474 --> 00:03:06,185
Oh, you know,
I can't say no to you.
64
00:03:06,269 --> 00:03:07,186
Here it is.
65
00:03:08,104 --> 00:03:09,063
Ah...
66
00:03:09,147 --> 00:03:10,857
-Morning!
-[door bangs]
67
00:03:10,940 --> 00:03:12,233
[murmuring]
68
00:03:12,317 --> 00:03:14,444
The New Spanish
dual immersion student list.
69
00:03:14,527 --> 00:03:16,446
I think we're all very
excited to see that
70
00:03:16,529 --> 00:03:18,364
Madison and McKenna
got in, am I right?
71
00:03:18,448 --> 00:03:19,324
Am I right?
72
00:03:19,407 --> 00:03:20,950
Your kids got in?
73
00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:23,286
Now we're gonna know
if the maids are talking
about us
74
00:03:23,369 --> 00:03:25,079
when we're on vacation
in Cancun.
75
00:03:25,163 --> 00:03:27,790
[laughs] And I can't
help it if I have connections
76
00:03:27,874 --> 00:03:29,542
on the election board.
77
00:03:29,626 --> 00:03:30,960
Better luck next year,
78
00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:34,547
or as my maid says,
"escupo en tu comida."
79
00:03:37,383 --> 00:03:39,010
[Two-Face] You've got
to be kidding me.
80
00:03:39,093 --> 00:03:42,180
You wasted $400 million on ads!
81
00:03:42,263 --> 00:03:44,641
And another million
on custom Pez?
82
00:03:44,724 --> 00:03:47,352
-People love Pez.
-No one loves Pez.
83
00:03:47,435 --> 00:03:49,437
You don't need this
stuff to win.
84
00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:52,523
In the debates,
you can just tell
people directly
85
00:03:52,607 --> 00:03:55,735
your plans for Gotham
and what you stand for.
86
00:03:55,818 --> 00:03:56,986
Also, I've been
meaning to ask you.
87
00:03:57,070 --> 00:03:58,446
What do you stand for?
88
00:03:58,529 --> 00:04:00,239
Well, it's, um...
89
00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:03,618
I... [murmuring]
90
00:04:05,244 --> 00:04:07,205
Don't worry
your pretty little heart.
91
00:04:07,288 --> 00:04:10,375
I'll teach him
how to trail off like a pro.
92
00:04:11,376 --> 00:04:13,002
[laughs maniacally]
93
00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:14,545
[smashing]
94
00:04:15,755 --> 00:04:17,340
-Ha!
-[Bethany groans]
95
00:04:17,423 --> 00:04:19,676
Are you still upset
about the dual
immersion program?
96
00:04:19,759 --> 00:04:21,511
Yes, it's so unfair!
97
00:04:21,594 --> 00:04:24,973
This program would
really help the kids
embrace their heritage.
98
00:04:25,056 --> 00:04:28,768
You know, one time,
I picked Benecio up
from soccer practice,
99
00:04:28,851 --> 00:04:31,813
-and I heard some other kids
mocking his name.
-[sighs]
100
00:04:31,896 --> 00:04:34,148
This program would
offer him something
101
00:04:34,232 --> 00:04:37,068
I can't give him.
More self-confidence.
102
00:04:37,151 --> 00:04:40,530
The opportunity to feel
a sense of pride in his name.
103
00:04:40,613 --> 00:04:42,991
A great boost
on his transcript
104
00:04:43,074 --> 00:04:46,077
for when he applies
to early admission at Oberlin.
105
00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:47,662
Always you with Oberlin.
106
00:04:47,745 --> 00:04:49,831
Dinnertime!
107
00:04:49,914 --> 00:04:51,708
[Gordon] Hey, mister,that's strike two.
108
00:04:51,791 --> 00:04:53,376
You pop off like that again,we're gonna cross swords.
109
00:04:53,459 --> 00:04:55,503
I'm all about changing Gothamfor the better.
110
00:04:55,586 --> 00:04:58,840
And if I'm lying,may God strike you down.
111
00:04:58,923 --> 00:05:00,341
[gasps and groans]
112
00:05:00,425 --> 00:05:01,384
[grunts]
113
00:05:02,218 --> 00:05:03,511
You know the rules.
114
00:05:03,594 --> 00:05:05,221
There's no TV during dinner.
115
00:05:05,304 --> 00:05:07,265
I think we just saw
someone die.
116
00:05:07,348 --> 00:05:09,350
Sure did, buddy.
117
00:05:09,434 --> 00:05:12,562
So, say we couldn't get into
the dual immersion program.
118
00:05:12,645 --> 00:05:15,356
What's another thing
you guys are
interested in, huh?
119
00:05:16,357 --> 00:05:18,484
Uh, what about art or soccer?
120
00:05:18,568 --> 00:05:22,613
It's never too early to get
into kinesiology, Benecio.
121
00:05:22,697 --> 00:05:25,408
Uh, can I
just go by "Ben"?
122
00:05:25,491 --> 00:05:28,202
I don't want to stand out
in school.
123
00:05:28,286 --> 00:05:32,582
That's it! Debbie is gonna
get a tire iron straight
into the--
124
00:05:32,665 --> 00:05:34,834
Bethany, no, trust me.
125
00:05:34,917 --> 00:05:37,462
I know how to deal
with arch enemies.
126
00:05:37,545 --> 00:05:42,133
I'm cooking up something
extra special for Debbie.
127
00:05:42,216 --> 00:05:46,429
[laughing maniacally]
128
00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:57,315
[gasps]
129
00:06:03,696 --> 00:06:04,906
Hey, Debbie.
130
00:06:04,989 --> 00:06:06,199
Nice parking spot.
131
00:06:06,282 --> 00:06:08,618
So, you're a VIP, huh?
132
00:06:08,701 --> 00:06:10,203
Uh, yes, I am.
133
00:06:10,286 --> 00:06:12,789
Because I have
a very important job.
134
00:06:12,872 --> 00:06:15,166
And I need
a very important spot.
135
00:06:15,249 --> 00:06:16,918
-What do you want?
-Listen,
136
00:06:17,001 --> 00:06:18,211
I just wanted to show
137
00:06:18,294 --> 00:06:21,798
my appreciation for you,
and all you do.
138
00:06:21,881 --> 00:06:26,803
It's arroz con pollo
from mi casa to su casa.
139
00:06:26,886 --> 00:06:30,306
Mmm-hmm. And is that
an ethnic dish, or...
140
00:06:30,389 --> 00:06:32,975
It sure is "ethnic."
141
00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:34,769
Speaking of racist,
142
00:06:34,852 --> 00:06:36,145
I couldn't help but think
143
00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:38,272
about the dual
immersion program,
144
00:06:38,356 --> 00:06:41,317
and how amazing it would be
if you could pull some strings.
145
00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:42,527
Oh, I see.
146
00:06:42,610 --> 00:06:45,113
So you and your strong
smelling dish
147
00:06:45,196 --> 00:06:46,823
are trying to bribe me.
Is that it?
148
00:06:46,906 --> 00:06:48,366
Is that what you're
trying to do? Bribe me?
149
00:06:48,449 --> 00:06:50,660
Strong smelling? [sniffs]
150
00:06:50,743 --> 00:06:52,495
No. [chuckles softly]
151
00:06:52,578 --> 00:06:54,789
It's just that
there are only 24 spots
152
00:06:54,872 --> 00:06:57,834
in the program for all
of Gotham's school district,
153
00:06:57,917 --> 00:07:00,545
and I know you have
friends on the committee.
154
00:07:00,628 --> 00:07:02,171
Mmm. Oh, okay.
155
00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:03,464
So, you're
threatening me, then.
156
00:07:03,548 --> 00:07:05,091
Didn't you use to
blow things up?
157
00:07:05,174 --> 00:07:08,719
[laughs loudly] Oh, no...
158
00:07:08,803 --> 00:07:11,180
That was over a year ago?
159
00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:12,640
That's the old me.
160
00:07:12,723 --> 00:07:14,433
The only thing
I'm blowing up here
161
00:07:14,517 --> 00:07:17,603
is your waistline
with my yummy dish.
162
00:07:17,687 --> 00:07:19,313
Aw... I think it's so cute
163
00:07:19,397 --> 00:07:21,858
that you're out here trying
to do stuff for your kids.
164
00:07:21,941 --> 00:07:23,442
It's a adorable.
165
00:07:23,526 --> 00:07:26,404
I so wish I could help you,
but it's just out of my hands,
166
00:07:26,487 --> 00:07:28,197
and I guess it's out
of your hands, too.
167
00:07:28,281 --> 00:07:29,407
[chuckles nervously]
168
00:07:29,490 --> 00:07:32,285
Whose hands
would you say it's in?
169
00:07:32,368 --> 00:07:33,995
Well, the city sets the budget,
170
00:07:34,078 --> 00:07:36,414
so I'd take it up
with them or the mayor.
171
00:07:36,497 --> 00:07:39,917
Oh, but no, I guess
he just died.
172
00:07:40,001 --> 00:07:41,294
Oh, boo-hoo.
173
00:07:41,377 --> 00:07:42,962
Well, I guess you're just
gonna have to go down
174
00:07:43,045 --> 00:07:44,714
to City Hall
and file a complaint.
175
00:07:44,797 --> 00:07:46,507
-[engine revs]
-[tires squeal]
176
00:07:48,092 --> 00:07:51,137
Oh, I'll file
a fucking complaint.
177
00:07:52,346 --> 00:07:54,974
Oh, my God,
there were bones in this.
178
00:07:55,057 --> 00:07:56,601
[rock music playing]
179
00:07:58,352 --> 00:07:59,562
Whoo! We did it!
180
00:07:59,645 --> 00:08:02,273
Dad! Congrats on being
the only candidate
181
00:08:02,356 --> 00:08:03,774
to not die tonight.
But don't you think
182
00:08:03,858 --> 00:08:05,568
it's a little premature
to be celebrating?
183
00:08:05,651 --> 00:08:07,737
Barbara,
the opposition is dead.
184
00:08:07,820 --> 00:08:09,822
Winning by default
is a bigger victory
185
00:08:09,906 --> 00:08:11,199
than I could have
dreamed of.
186
00:08:12,909 --> 00:08:14,285
Boo!
187
00:08:14,368 --> 00:08:16,621
[sighs] Dad, you still
haven't even figured out
188
00:08:16,704 --> 00:08:17,914
your plan for Gotham.
189
00:08:17,997 --> 00:08:20,333
Gordy, remember
your trail off training?
190
00:08:20,416 --> 00:08:21,584
I'm glad you asked that.
191
00:08:21,667 --> 00:08:24,212
-I guess the...
-Dad.
192
00:08:24,295 --> 00:08:25,922
I know you love Gotham,
193
00:08:26,005 --> 00:08:27,965
and there are tons of things
that are important to you.
194
00:08:28,049 --> 00:08:30,801
So just make that the plan.
195
00:08:30,885 --> 00:08:32,511
What do you even
believe in, Dad?
196
00:08:32,595 --> 00:08:34,263
As Reagan once said,
197
00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:35,514
uh...
198
00:08:35,598 --> 00:08:37,850
[distant explosion]
199
00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:40,686
-[people screaming]
-[explosion]
200
00:08:44,565 --> 00:08:45,483
The old Joker is back.
201
00:08:45,566 --> 00:08:46,525
Get two cameras on him.
202
00:08:46,609 --> 00:08:48,110
Where's the chopper cam?
203
00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:50,947
[Joker] Attention,
Gotham City.
204
00:08:51,030 --> 00:08:53,366
I've had it with your shit.
205
00:08:53,449 --> 00:08:56,452
I tried being a villain
that didn't work.
206
00:08:56,535 --> 00:08:58,913
I tried being a good stepdad.
207
00:08:58,996 --> 00:09:00,331
that didn't work.
208
00:09:00,414 --> 00:09:03,167
I tried meditationand then-- Actually,
209
00:09:03,251 --> 00:09:04,460
that almost worked
210
00:09:04,543 --> 00:09:06,796
until the app I was using
started charging.
211
00:09:06,879 --> 00:09:10,800
Yet the city remainsa hateful asshole.
212
00:09:10,883 --> 00:09:14,053
That's why things are
going to change right now!
213
00:09:14,136 --> 00:09:16,722
[all screaming]
214
00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:17,765
[woman screaming]
215
00:09:17,848 --> 00:09:19,475
He's pointing it at me!
216
00:09:19,558 --> 00:09:21,143
-[trigger clicks]
-[people shouting]
217
00:09:21,227 --> 00:09:22,562
[shouting dies down]
218
00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:26,816
I'm running for mayor!
219
00:09:26,899 --> 00:09:28,859
-[laughs boisterously]
-[fanfare playing]
220
00:09:31,279 --> 00:09:32,738
Less than 24 hours ago,
221
00:09:32,822 --> 00:09:35,074
Joker announcedhe was running for mayor.
222
00:09:35,157 --> 00:09:36,993
Today, we are following Joker
223
00:09:37,076 --> 00:09:39,078
and his goonsto the Gotham Bank.
224
00:09:39,161 --> 00:09:41,038
For what? We're not sure.
225
00:09:41,122 --> 00:09:43,040
I'm Suave with Thrice TV.
226
00:09:43,124 --> 00:09:44,834
Can you tell uswhat you're doing here today?
227
00:09:44,917 --> 00:09:48,587
Some mayoral candidatestake bribes from big money.
228
00:09:48,671 --> 00:09:52,174
I'm skipping the bribe part,and just taking the money,
229
00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:54,593
and giving it backto the citizens.
230
00:09:54,677 --> 00:09:56,429
Here's your money shot!
231
00:09:59,598 --> 00:10:01,350
Oh, wow. Ha!
232
00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:04,353
Hey, what do you hopeto accomplish as mayorof Gotham?
233
00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:05,646
Well, to start,
234
00:10:05,730 --> 00:10:07,231
education reform.
235
00:10:07,315 --> 00:10:08,899
Every child shouldhave the choice
236
00:10:08,983 --> 00:10:12,403
to be in a dual immersionclass and be bilingual.
237
00:10:12,486 --> 00:10:14,613
I also want freeuniversal health care.
238
00:10:14,697 --> 00:10:17,366
Do you think Arkham wouldhave a three-year wait list
239
00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:21,037
if everyone had accessto free mental health services?
240
00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:25,333
And the rich one-percentersare gonna pay for it all.
241
00:10:25,416 --> 00:10:28,753
Big changes are gonna happen.
242
00:10:28,836 --> 00:10:30,254
[laughing maniacally]
243
00:10:30,338 --> 00:10:31,422
-[gunshot]
-[screams]
244
00:10:31,505 --> 00:10:32,798
Damn it, Gary.
245
00:10:32,882 --> 00:10:34,675
I said we're not doing
the stupid
246
00:10:34,759 --> 00:10:36,427
Reservoir Dogs thing.
247
00:10:36,510 --> 00:10:38,262
You want the richto pay for all this?
248
00:10:38,346 --> 00:10:39,764
Are you like a socialist?
249
00:10:39,847 --> 00:10:42,391
I'm not like a socialist.
250
00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:44,685
I am a socialist.
251
00:10:44,769 --> 00:10:49,065
And together,we're gonna fix this city.
252
00:10:49,148 --> 00:10:50,566
-[grunts]
-[gasps]
253
00:10:50,649 --> 00:10:53,361
I'm sorry. I thought
you were ready for that.
254
00:10:53,444 --> 00:10:54,570
We locked eyes,
255
00:10:54,653 --> 00:10:56,739
I-- You were looking
right here. Wh--
256
00:10:56,822 --> 00:11:00,076
This is our money!Our Gotham.
257
00:11:00,159 --> 00:11:02,536
This, this has to be
some sort of trap.
258
00:11:02,620 --> 00:11:04,080
It's Joker, for crap's sake.
259
00:11:04,163 --> 00:11:07,208
He's Batman's arch-enemy,
and I'm Batman's best friend.
260
00:11:07,291 --> 00:11:08,376
Hmm.
261
00:11:08,459 --> 00:11:10,252
I just thought
it should be said.
262
00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:12,296
I just don't get it.
Why do people love him?
263
00:11:12,380 --> 00:11:14,090
Because he has good policies.
264
00:11:14,173 --> 00:11:17,009
Jesus, you need to start
wearing bangles or something
265
00:11:17,093 --> 00:11:18,677
'cause I never know
when you're in a room.
266
00:11:18,761 --> 00:11:19,970
Joker's preaching policies
267
00:11:20,054 --> 00:11:22,264
like free health care,
free tuition.
268
00:11:22,348 --> 00:11:24,767
Oh, God, is my own daughter
some kind of Jo-Bro?
269
00:11:24,850 --> 00:11:27,186
They prefer to be called
"Sane Clown Posse,"
270
00:11:27,269 --> 00:11:28,562
and I'm not a Jo-Bro.
271
00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:30,773
What we need to do
is fight dirtier than
272
00:11:30,856 --> 00:11:32,483
we've ever fought before.
273
00:11:32,566 --> 00:11:35,277
Do something truly diabolical.
274
00:11:35,361 --> 00:11:36,987
No, I'm drawing a line.
275
00:11:37,071 --> 00:11:39,198
Dad, I believe in you.
276
00:11:39,281 --> 00:11:40,699
A mayor needs policies
277
00:11:40,783 --> 00:11:42,159
and to be able
to make decisions.
278
00:11:42,243 --> 00:11:45,663
Well, I want you to make
a decision right now.
279
00:11:45,746 --> 00:11:48,165
Fire Two-Face
as your campaign manager.
280
00:11:48,249 --> 00:11:50,459
If you don't,
I can't support you.
281
00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:52,628
It's him or me.
You got to choose.
282
00:11:52,711 --> 00:11:54,296
Nepotism.
283
00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:56,465
Oh, man! What is it with women
in this family and ultimatums?
284
00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:58,050
Dad, choose!
285
00:11:58,134 --> 00:12:00,970
Babs, sweetie.
Things aren't
so black and white.
286
00:12:01,053 --> 00:12:02,930
There's shades of gray,
I don't have to choose
287
00:12:03,013 --> 00:12:05,599
Two-Face or you,
I can choose Two-Face,
then you.
288
00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:08,310
I'm so close to winning!
289
00:12:08,394 --> 00:12:09,812
I've never said that before.
290
00:12:09,895 --> 00:12:11,105
The ends will
justify the means,
291
00:12:11,188 --> 00:12:13,149
-I swear.
-It's crazy.
292
00:12:13,232 --> 00:12:15,943
She's so quiet,
you can't even hear her walk.
293
00:12:16,026 --> 00:12:18,279
Okay, when we talkedto Joker's hostages,
294
00:12:18,362 --> 00:12:20,197
-some of their comments were--
-Dad, can you--
295
00:12:20,281 --> 00:12:23,409
Kids stop, they're talking
about me again.
296
00:12:23,492 --> 00:12:24,785
I wasn't gonna vote before.
297
00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:26,454
But after hearingabout his plans
298
00:12:26,537 --> 00:12:29,540
for universal health care,I will now.
299
00:12:29,623 --> 00:12:30,666
Also, he's kind of hot.
300
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,042
-[excited chatter]
-Oh, moi?
301
00:12:32,126 --> 00:12:33,669
Did you hear that, honey?
302
00:12:33,752 --> 00:12:35,087
People think I'm hot.
303
00:12:35,171 --> 00:12:37,840
Yeah, he's kind of hotin like a David--
304
00:12:37,923 --> 00:12:43,012
Augh! But... David who?
Spade? Tennant?
305
00:12:43,095 --> 00:12:45,055
Cono. No TV
at the dinner table.
306
00:12:45,139 --> 00:12:46,515
This was your rule, remember?
307
00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:48,851
You wanted us to talk
like a family, remember?
308
00:12:48,934 --> 00:12:50,811
Yes, yes, yeah.
309
00:12:50,895 --> 00:12:52,271
Yes, yes.
310
00:12:52,354 --> 00:12:55,524
So, does anyone else
want to talk about their day?
311
00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:58,235
Today, the teacher said
that dinosaurs died out
312
00:12:58,319 --> 00:12:59,695
because they didn't
have religion.
313
00:12:59,778 --> 00:13:01,238
That's exciting.
314
00:13:01,322 --> 00:13:03,157
You want to know
something else exciting.
315
00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:06,869
My favorite toilet read,
Vanity Fair called!
316
00:13:06,952 --> 00:13:09,580
Radhika, the editor
wants to feature me
317
00:13:09,663 --> 00:13:12,625
in her series about
political game-changers.
318
00:13:12,708 --> 00:13:15,836
Me, a political game-changer.
319
00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:18,881
Dad, you're still coming
to my soccer game
tomorrow, right?
320
00:13:18,964 --> 00:13:22,051
What?
Oh, the game! Oh!
321
00:13:22,134 --> 00:13:24,678
I'm sorry, buddy.
I can't.
322
00:13:24,762 --> 00:13:27,348
I have the big campaign
parade tomorrow.
323
00:13:27,431 --> 00:13:31,143
I have to put my focus
on the important stuff first,
324
00:13:31,227 --> 00:13:32,603
then you guys.
325
00:13:34,522 --> 00:13:37,733
Whoops, I mean,
you guys are first,
326
00:13:37,816 --> 00:13:40,236
always first.
I'm doing all this
327
00:13:40,319 --> 00:13:44,406
for you and the kids
because you always come first.
328
00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:46,325
Well, I'm done eating.
Gotta go.
329
00:13:48,327 --> 00:13:52,122
[people chanting]
Joker! Joker!
330
00:13:55,084 --> 00:13:57,086
Okay, boys.
331
00:13:57,169 --> 00:13:58,379
-[gasps]
-Let them have it.
332
00:13:59,588 --> 00:14:02,591
[all cheering]
333
00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:05,344
Change is happening!
334
00:14:05,427 --> 00:14:06,595
-[laughing maniacally]
-[Gunshot]
335
00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:08,389
Damn it, Gary.
336
00:14:08,472 --> 00:14:11,308
[all cheering]
337
00:14:11,392 --> 00:14:13,352
-[phone vibrating]
-[woman] I love you!
338
00:14:15,646 --> 00:14:17,815
Two-Face, perfect timing.
339
00:14:17,898 --> 00:14:19,400
You calling to concede?
340
00:14:19,483 --> 00:14:21,068
[Two-Face] What?How'd you know it was me?
341
00:14:21,151 --> 00:14:24,613
Um, we used to work
together, like a lot.
342
00:14:24,697 --> 00:14:27,449
[Two-Face] Oh, well, yeah,I'm just surprisedyou kept my number
343
00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:29,493
after all we've beenthrough, you know?
344
00:14:29,577 --> 00:14:31,078
Did you, like, want something?
345
00:14:31,161 --> 00:14:33,038
I'm about to give my speech.
346
00:14:33,122 --> 00:14:35,624
[Two-Face] Oh, yeah.No, I just thought thatyou should know.
347
00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:37,126
-I have your son.
-What?
348
00:14:37,209 --> 00:14:38,836
[Benecio] Dad,please come get me.
349
00:14:38,919 --> 00:14:40,629
[Two-Face] If you ever wantto see him alive again,
350
00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:43,632
come to the abandonedamusement park alone.
351
00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:46,135
And in case,I'm not being clear here,
352
00:14:46,218 --> 00:14:50,014
I have kidnapped your sonand I'm holding him hostage.
353
00:14:50,097 --> 00:14:51,682
Yeah, I got that.
354
00:14:51,765 --> 00:14:54,310
Sorry. I'm... I'm used tospelling things out for Gordo.
355
00:14:54,393 --> 00:14:55,936
You probably don't need...anyways.
356
00:14:56,020 --> 00:14:57,521
Uh, okay, bye.
357
00:14:58,439 --> 00:15:01,025
[chanting] Joker! Joker!
358
00:15:03,569 --> 00:15:05,821
[chanting] Joker! Joker!
359
00:15:10,701 --> 00:15:12,661
[chanting stops]
360
00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:15,331
I'm coming, Benecio!
361
00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:17,625
[thunderclap]
362
00:15:18,792 --> 00:15:20,461
[eerie music playing]
363
00:15:22,254 --> 00:15:23,422
Okay, I'm here.
364
00:15:23,505 --> 00:15:25,049
-Where's the bomb threat?
-Bomb threat?
365
00:15:25,132 --> 00:15:27,343
I never said anything
on the phone about a bomb--
366
00:15:27,426 --> 00:15:28,719
Whatever. You're here.
367
00:15:28,802 --> 00:15:31,680
Yes, I am. Whoa!
Hey, Two-Face, what is this?
368
00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:33,515
It's Joker's step-son.
369
00:15:33,599 --> 00:15:35,476
Once Joker sees
we have his kid,
370
00:15:35,559 --> 00:15:37,478
we can make him
drop out of the race.
371
00:15:37,561 --> 00:15:41,357
If he refuses,
I press the start
button on the coaster,
372
00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:43,317
and Benny here
is gonna find out
373
00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:45,194
why this place shut down.
374
00:15:45,277 --> 00:15:46,862
-[laughs]
-What?
375
00:15:46,945 --> 00:15:50,324
You kidnapped an innocent kid
and are threatening murder?
376
00:15:50,407 --> 00:15:51,575
Two-Face, crimes like these
377
00:15:51,659 --> 00:15:52,868
are considered
especially heinous.
378
00:15:52,951 --> 00:15:55,329
-You have to let him go.
-No fucking way.
379
00:15:55,412 --> 00:15:58,040
We can't go back now
because we're in too deep,
380
00:15:58,123 --> 00:16:00,668
and I'm trying to keep up
above in my head
381
00:16:00,751 --> 00:16:02,086
instead of going under!
382
00:16:02,169 --> 00:16:04,296
Instead of going under!
383
00:16:04,380 --> 00:16:08,050
I'm sorry. Sum 41 was playing
in the car on the way here.
384
00:16:08,133 --> 00:16:09,677
[chuckles] I love that band.
385
00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:10,928
But we're still doing this.
386
00:16:11,011 --> 00:16:13,222
-I trusted you.
-Why?
387
00:16:13,305 --> 00:16:15,140
Why do you keep trusting me?
388
00:16:15,224 --> 00:16:17,851
My name is Two-face.
389
00:16:17,935 --> 00:16:19,895
I almost feel like
you're trolling me.
390
00:16:19,978 --> 00:16:22,231
Being Two-Faced is what I do.
391
00:16:22,314 --> 00:16:23,899
It's pretty straightforward.
392
00:16:23,982 --> 00:16:26,568
I kidnap kids.
I poison mayors.
393
00:16:26,652 --> 00:16:28,654
Poison... poison mayors?
394
00:16:30,239 --> 00:16:31,990
Did you kill the mayor?
395
00:16:32,074 --> 00:16:34,451
I had to take action
because I'm trying
to win you this race.
396
00:16:34,535 --> 00:16:37,579
Do you think he died
just because he was
impaled by a pole?
397
00:16:37,663 --> 00:16:39,456
He was taut for 62.
398
00:16:39,540 --> 00:16:41,750
That guy had cum gutters.
399
00:16:43,711 --> 00:16:46,922
I'm here. No, Beth, I'm sorry,
but you can't come.
400
00:16:47,005 --> 00:16:48,549
I promise
I'll get Benny back safe.
401
00:16:48,632 --> 00:16:51,760
Just get Sophia
to your sister's house.
402
00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:54,263
No, no, not your
brother's place.
403
00:16:54,346 --> 00:16:57,391
Because he smokes
and Sophia has asthma.
404
00:16:57,474 --> 00:17:00,436
That's why.
Well, someone there smokes.
405
00:17:00,519 --> 00:17:02,062
I know I smelled something.
406
00:17:02,146 --> 00:17:04,106
Look, I got to go.
407
00:17:04,189 --> 00:17:06,191
I love you. Bye.
408
00:17:06,275 --> 00:17:08,360
Where the hell is Benecio?
409
00:17:08,444 --> 00:17:11,196
Oh, hi. Yeah, I'm doing fine.
Thank you for asking.
410
00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:14,283
We can chitchat
when you give me back
my step-son.
411
00:17:14,366 --> 00:17:16,910
Drop out of the race.
and I'll let your kid go free.
412
00:17:16,994 --> 00:17:19,121
If you refuse,
I'll press this button,
413
00:17:19,204 --> 00:17:21,582
-and Benecio
is gonna take off...
-[Benecio whimpering]
414
00:17:21,665 --> 00:17:24,126
...on these broken tracks.
[laughs wickedly]
415
00:17:24,209 --> 00:17:27,880
Wow, Gordon, I didn't take you
for a child murderer.
416
00:17:27,963 --> 00:17:29,381
No shit.
417
00:17:29,465 --> 00:17:32,801
I am Jim Gordon,
and I do not approve
this message.
418
00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:35,763
You four-faced son of a bitch.
419
00:17:39,558 --> 00:17:41,518
Okay, I'll drop out.
420
00:17:45,063 --> 00:17:47,399
-You think I made
a hard choice?
-Dad!
421
00:17:47,483 --> 00:17:48,650
Wrong.
422
00:17:48,734 --> 00:17:50,402
I'm only running for
mayor for my family,
423
00:17:50,486 --> 00:17:53,447
and I'll quit for my family
just as easily.
424
00:17:53,530 --> 00:17:55,699
Wow, I didn't even stop
drinking from my family.
425
00:17:55,783 --> 00:17:57,743
Well, I did. But then
I started drinking again,
426
00:17:57,826 --> 00:17:59,578
but it wasn't as much.
427
00:17:59,661 --> 00:18:03,373
I'm sorry. I've been a bit
of a... well, of a douche.
428
00:18:05,042 --> 00:18:06,502
-I love you.
-Uh-huh.
429
00:18:06,585 --> 00:18:08,128
-Let's go home.
-I don't think so.
430
00:18:08,212 --> 00:18:09,880
[lock clicks]
431
00:18:09,963 --> 00:18:11,340
What do you think
you're doing? You said
you would let him go.
432
00:18:11,423 --> 00:18:12,716
-Why would you lie?
-Seriously?
433
00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:14,885
You're making this
really not fun for me.
434
00:18:14,968 --> 00:18:17,137
"Two-Face" is my name.
435
00:18:17,221 --> 00:18:20,808
And if Joker is still alive,
he will always be a threat.
436
00:18:20,891 --> 00:18:24,186
You will be mayor
and I will be DA again.
437
00:18:24,269 --> 00:18:26,021
So that's what
this is all about.
438
00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:29,983
You act like you care,
but deep down,
you're as dark as me.
439
00:18:30,067 --> 00:18:31,693
I mean, look where we are.
440
00:18:31,777 --> 00:18:34,988
Now, step back
and let me take care of this.
441
00:18:35,072 --> 00:18:37,032
-No!
-[both screaming]
442
00:18:38,283 --> 00:18:40,452
-[grunts]
-[both screaming]
443
00:18:40,536 --> 00:18:42,913
Shit! Shit!
Gordon, do something!
444
00:18:56,426 --> 00:18:58,762
Superman! Dad, we're saved!
445
00:18:58,846 --> 00:19:02,015
Oh, no. It's just Gordon,
keep screaming, son.
446
00:19:02,099 --> 00:19:04,643
[screaming]
447
00:19:07,771 --> 00:19:10,524
-Joker, grab my hand!
-Yes.
448
00:19:10,607 --> 00:19:12,776
[both grunting]
449
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:15,863
[screaming]
450
00:19:24,788 --> 00:19:27,207
[chuckles nervously]
Gordon!
451
00:19:28,041 --> 00:19:29,877
Shit! Hold on!
452
00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:31,920
[all screaming]
453
00:19:32,838 --> 00:19:34,381
[both grunting]
454
00:19:34,464 --> 00:19:37,301
-Benny. Benny! Oh!
-[groans softly]
455
00:19:37,384 --> 00:19:38,886
Thank God!
456
00:19:40,512 --> 00:19:42,973
You're okay. Physically.
457
00:19:43,056 --> 00:19:45,309
Mentally, this is messed up.
458
00:19:47,769 --> 00:19:50,439
Gordon, no! Don't kill him.
459
00:19:50,522 --> 00:19:52,441
I have to.
He's done too much.
460
00:19:52,524 --> 00:19:55,819
Look, no one wants to kill
Two-Face more than me,
461
00:19:55,903 --> 00:19:58,655
[chuckles] But killing him
won't solve the problem.
462
00:19:58,739 --> 00:20:02,034
It'll just make things worse.
That's not what you do.
463
00:20:02,117 --> 00:20:05,203
You're Commissioner Gordon,
remember?
464
00:20:05,287 --> 00:20:07,080
You make things better.
465
00:20:07,164 --> 00:20:09,291
My God, you're right. Whoa!
You really have changed.
466
00:20:09,374 --> 00:20:13,462
You're the kind of step-dad
I wish I could be for my own
biological daughter.
467
00:20:13,545 --> 00:20:16,757
I just want to be someone
my family can be proud of.
468
00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:19,134
I already am proud of you, Dad.
469
00:20:19,217 --> 00:20:21,470
You called me "Dad"?
470
00:20:21,553 --> 00:20:23,221
I've been calling you "Dad."
471
00:20:23,305 --> 00:20:26,767
I called you "Dad"
like, three times
on the roller coaster.
472
00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:29,937
Not that it'll make much
of a difference for you,
473
00:20:30,020 --> 00:20:31,521
but I'm gonna drop out
of the race.
474
00:20:31,605 --> 00:20:32,648
You should be mayor.
475
00:20:32,731 --> 00:20:34,900
Really?
You mean it?
476
00:20:34,983 --> 00:20:35,984
Yes.
477
00:20:36,068 --> 00:20:37,486
Congratulations, Mr. Mayor.
478
00:20:37,569 --> 00:20:40,322
Gordon, I don't know
what to say.
479
00:20:40,405 --> 00:20:41,865
Thank you.
480
00:20:41,949 --> 00:20:44,326
Yeah, it's pretty wild,
but it's for a brighter future.
481
00:20:44,409 --> 00:20:45,911
Being Commissioner
ain't so bad.
482
00:20:45,994 --> 00:20:47,496
I look forward to
working for you.
483
00:20:47,579 --> 00:20:49,289
No, no, no, no, no.
484
00:20:49,373 --> 00:20:52,834
My first act as mayor
is dismantling
the police department.
485
00:20:52,918 --> 00:20:54,753
You're out of a job.
[chuckles]
486
00:20:54,836 --> 00:20:57,297
Sorry. Let's go, Benecio.
487
00:20:57,381 --> 00:21:00,008
Should've killed me
when you had the chance.
488
00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:01,593
[vehicle approaching]
489
00:21:01,677 --> 00:21:03,553
Ahh! Watch the faces.
490
00:21:03,637 --> 00:21:05,514
All right,
I dropped Sophia off.
491
00:21:05,597 --> 00:21:08,225
Now let me at him.
He's gonna be a "No-Face"
when I'm done with him.
492
00:21:08,308 --> 00:21:10,310
Oh, good. Your mother found us.
493
00:21:10,394 --> 00:21:14,606
Ooh! And it's Tuesday.
Let's get tacos!
494
00:21:14,690 --> 00:21:16,441
David Boreanaz!
495
00:21:16,525 --> 00:21:20,487
I bet that's the David
that she said I look like.
496
00:21:23,824 --> 00:21:26,952
Barbara, I'm sorry.
I choose you.
497
00:21:27,035 --> 00:21:29,705
From now on, it's always you.
498
00:21:29,788 --> 00:21:32,457
[voice-over]
There's a new dawnon Gotham City.
499
00:21:33,458 --> 00:21:36,378
There's no limit to what we do.
500
00:21:36,461 --> 00:21:37,796
Like Miss Walter do.
501
00:21:37,879 --> 00:21:39,715
-Like I do.
-Like I do.
502
00:21:39,798 --> 00:21:41,383
Like we do!
503
00:21:41,466 --> 00:21:42,718
[speaking Spanish]
Como yo lo hago.
504
00:21:42,801 --> 00:21:45,387
Like we all do!
505
00:21:45,470 --> 00:21:46,722
[people cheering]
506
00:21:46,805 --> 00:21:49,558
I am your mayor,
and I approved this message.
507
00:21:49,641 --> 00:21:54,229
[chanting] Joker! Joker!
508
00:21:54,312 --> 00:21:59,443
-[chanting] Joker! Joker!
-[all cheering]
509
00:22:00,652 --> 00:22:03,196
Ah, I'm so glad
we're home. [sighs]
510
00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:05,240
Wait. What the... [gasps]
511
00:22:05,323 --> 00:22:07,367
We were gone for four days.
512
00:22:09,828 --> 00:22:10,996
[groans]
513
00:22:11,079 --> 00:22:11,955
Morning!
514
00:22:12,039 --> 00:22:13,498
You're in my spot.
515
00:22:13,582 --> 00:22:14,750
Correction.
516
00:22:17,002 --> 00:22:19,212
I'm your nightmare now, bitch.
517
00:22:19,296 --> 00:22:22,591
[laughing maniacally]
518
00:22:26,136 --> 00:22:28,221
[theme music playing]
38700
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
