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1
00:00:15,583 --> 00:00:17,282
THEY SAY HAVING A SISTER IS LIKE HAVING
2
00:00:17,284 --> 00:00:19,218
A BEST FRIEND YOU CAN'T GET RID OF.
3
00:00:19,220 --> 00:00:22,321
YOU KNOW, WHATEVER YOU DO THEY'LL STILL BE THERE.
4
00:00:22,323 --> 00:00:24,723
WELL THAT WAS NEVER OUR STORY.
5
00:00:24,725 --> 00:00:30,329
OUR STORY IS ABOUT HOW SISTERS CAN SINK EACH OTHER-- REALLY SINK EACH OTHER.
6
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MORNING, MARTHA.
7
00:01:35,129 --> 00:01:36,462
HI, ERIC.
8
00:01:36,464 --> 00:01:38,797
- THAT YOUR SISTER?
- OH, YEAH, SURE IS.
9
00:01:38,799 --> 00:01:40,299
HI.
10
00:01:40,301 --> 00:01:41,767
SMELLS LIKE PISS
BACK HERE.
11
00:01:41,769 --> 00:01:43,735
WOW. I THOUGHT
YOUR SISTER WAS KIDDING
12
00:01:43,737 --> 00:01:44,837
WHEN SHE SAID
YOU WERE A BUZZ KILL.
13
00:01:54,481 --> 00:01:57,616
SHANNON?
HEY, SHANNON! SHAN!
14
00:01:57,618 --> 00:01:59,518
SHANNON!
15
00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:06,859
GREAT. NOW WE'RE GOING
TO HAVE TO CLEAN UP
AFTER A BUNCH
16
00:02:06,861 --> 00:02:09,361
OF SWEATY LEZZIES.
17
00:02:09,363 --> 00:02:11,196
GOD, WHAT IS
WITH YOU TODAY?
18
00:02:11,198 --> 00:02:12,798
WHY DID YOU HAVE TO TELL
THAT GUY I'M A BUZZ KILL?
19
00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:14,633
OH MY GOD! SHANNON JACKSON?
20
00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:16,802
- WHAT?
- IT'S ME! KRISTEN!
21
00:02:16,804 --> 00:02:18,403
I WORK AT THE FRONT DESK.
22
00:02:18,405 --> 00:02:19,638
OKAY.
23
00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:21,540
YOU REMEMBER,
KRISTEN METZ?
24
00:02:21,542 --> 00:02:22,841
WOW, OH MY GOD.
25
00:02:22,843 --> 00:02:24,143
YOU DON'T REMEMBER ME?
26
00:02:24,145 --> 00:02:25,344
NO? KRISTEN?
27
00:02:25,346 --> 00:02:26,678
REMEMBER, I WAS, LIKE,
28
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:28,580
"AH! MY ANKLE! OW!"
29
00:02:28,582 --> 00:02:29,882
DID I KICK YOU
IN THE ANKLE?
30
00:02:29,884 --> 00:02:32,151
THEN I WAS LIKE "SIGN MY CAST!"
31
00:02:32,153 --> 00:02:33,652
AND THEN-- YOU COULDN'T--
32
00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:37,789
YOU DIDN'T DO IT,
BUT, GOD, I KNEW IT WAS YOU!
33
00:02:37,791 --> 00:02:39,258
ARE WE TALKING
ABOUT HIGH SCHOOL?
34
00:02:39,260 --> 00:02:40,826
- YES.
- OKAY, I REMEMBER YOU.
35
00:02:40,828 --> 00:02:42,161
OKAY, GREAT.
36
00:02:42,163 --> 00:02:43,195
AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
37
00:02:43,197 --> 00:02:44,897
I THOUGHT YOU WERE,
38
00:02:44,899 --> 00:02:47,566
LIKE, TEACHING AT THAT
FANCY PANTS SCHOOL IN
CARMEL BY THE SEA?
39
00:02:47,568 --> 00:02:49,268
YEAH, I WAS BUT THEN
40
00:02:49,270 --> 00:02:51,637
I GOT FIRED 'CAUSE
I FUCKED A BUNCH OF PEOPLE.
41
00:02:51,639 --> 00:02:53,772
- OH.
- YEAH.
42
00:02:53,774 --> 00:02:55,707
WOOPS.
43
00:02:55,709 --> 00:02:58,510
JANITOR, LACROSSE COACH,
COUPLE SUBS,
44
00:02:58,512 --> 00:03:01,246
THE HEADMASTER--
THAT WAS MY BIG MISTAKE
45
00:03:01,248 --> 00:03:02,915
ACTUALLY BECAUSE WE GOT
CAUGHT BY SOME KIDS
46
00:03:02,917 --> 00:03:04,550
UNDER THE BLEACHERS
AT HOMECOMING.
47
00:03:04,552 --> 00:03:05,918
OH.
48
00:03:05,920 --> 00:03:08,587
SO NOW I'M
A REGISTERED SEX OFFENDER.
49
00:03:08,589 --> 00:03:10,322
YAY!
50
00:03:10,324 --> 00:03:11,790
YEAH.
51
00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:14,560
OH, YOU CAN'T CLEAN ANY ROOMS
WITH KIDS IN THEM.
52
00:03:14,562 --> 00:03:17,362
BUT THAT'S FINE. THEY'RE
ALWAYS REALLY DIRTY ANYWAY.
53
00:03:17,364 --> 00:03:20,933
OH, BY THE WAY, I SUCKED
YOUR BOYFRIEND'S DICK AT
54
00:03:20,935 --> 00:03:22,201
CHRIS DELUCA'S PROM PARTY.
55
00:03:22,203 --> 00:03:23,468
I'M SORRY?
56
00:03:23,470 --> 00:03:24,970
YEAH. I THINK HE MUST
ATE A LOT OF PINEAPPLE
57
00:03:24,972 --> 00:03:27,506
BECAUSE HIS SPUNK IS TASTY.
58
00:03:27,508 --> 00:03:29,508
YOU GUYS MARRIED?
IS IT SCOTT METZ?
59
00:03:31,945 --> 00:03:33,745
SO I GUESS WE MAY AS WELL
JUST JUMP IN, RIGHT?
60
00:03:33,747 --> 00:03:35,447
GET STARTED, BASICALLY
61
00:03:35,449 --> 00:03:37,583
YOU JUST GET YOUR KEY OUT
OF LANYARD LIKE THAT
62
00:03:37,585 --> 00:03:39,818
AND THEN YOU KNOCK
THREE TIMES, YEAH?
63
00:03:39,820 --> 00:03:41,453
AND THEN YOU SAY--
64
00:03:41,455 --> 00:03:44,323
FUCK OFF! I'M SLEEPING!
65
00:03:44,325 --> 00:03:45,924
OKAY, LET'S NOT GO IN THERE.
66
00:03:45,926 --> 00:03:50,596
UGH. PEOPLE ARE DISGUSTING.
67
00:03:50,598 --> 00:03:52,698
CHECK THIS.
THIS IS HOW YOU PUT ON
A NEW PILLOW CASE.
68
00:03:52,700 --> 00:03:55,234
THEN WHAT YOU DO IS
THE DOUBLE-FOLD MANEUVER.
69
00:03:55,236 --> 00:03:56,835
THIS IS ALSO REALLY NICE
70
00:03:56,837 --> 00:04:00,739
TO DO IN YOUR OWN HOME,
AND THEN LIKE THAT,
FLUFF, FLUFF.
71
00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:02,507
PERFECT P-CASE.
72
00:04:02,509 --> 00:04:04,543
WHY ARE YOU CHANGING
THE PILLOW CASES?
73
00:04:04,545 --> 00:04:06,745
IT'S THE SAME PEOPLE.
THEY'RE NOT CHECKING OUT.
74
00:04:06,747 --> 00:04:08,814
OKAY, HOW ABOUT WE JUST TRY
TO KEEP THIS JOB,
75
00:04:08,816 --> 00:04:10,449
SHAN, AND NOT BE SO LAZY?
76
00:04:10,451 --> 00:04:11,883
FINE.
77
00:04:11,885 --> 00:04:14,853
WHAT DO I DO WITH THEIR SHIT?
DO I HAVE TO FOLD IT?
78
00:04:14,855 --> 00:04:18,323
OKAY, IF I RAPED YOU
RIGHT NOW WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
79
00:04:18,325 --> 00:04:19,925
I DON'T WANT TO PLAY
THIS GAME RIGHT NOW.
80
00:04:19,927 --> 00:04:21,560
YOU NEVER WANT TO PLAY.
81
00:04:21,562 --> 00:04:23,562
YEAH, I KNOW,
THAT'S WHY I'M NOT PLAYING.
82
00:04:23,564 --> 00:04:26,431
THIS WAS A STUPID GAME WHEN
WE WERE KIDS AND IT STILL IS.
83
00:04:26,433 --> 00:04:27,799
HEY, REMEMBER
THAT OLD FRENCH PRESIDENT
84
00:04:27,801 --> 00:04:29,735
WHO ATTACKED THAT AFRICAN MAID?
85
00:04:29,737 --> 00:04:32,271
HE WAS LIKE A GRANDPA
AND SHE STILL HAD TO
SPIT HIS JIZZ.
86
00:04:32,273 --> 00:04:35,374
WELL, I'M NOT
SPITTING ANYONE'S JIZZ.
87
00:04:35,376 --> 00:04:37,409
OKAY, IF I RAPED YOU
RIGHT NOW WHAT WOULD
YOU DO?
88
00:04:37,411 --> 00:04:39,678
NO ONE'S RAPING ME
IN THIS UNIFORM.
89
00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:41,480
IT'S NOT REALLY MY COLOR.
90
00:04:41,482 --> 00:04:44,750
WHAT YOU WANT TO DO IN A RAPE
SITUATION IS YELL, "FIRE!"
91
00:04:44,752 --> 00:04:46,451
WHY WOULDN'T I YELL RAPE?
92
00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:48,420
NO ONE RESPONDS TO THAT.
93
00:04:48,422 --> 00:04:50,656
WHO ARE YOUR FRIENDS?
94
00:04:50,658 --> 00:04:53,358
SO BASICALLY YOU PUT
YOUR LAUNDRY INSIDE
THE UNIT.
95
00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:54,826
AND THEN YOU WANT TO MAKE SURE
96
00:04:54,828 --> 00:04:58,030
YOU HAVE FULL LOAD
BEFORE YOU START THE MACHINE.
97
00:04:58,032 --> 00:04:59,798
HEY, MARTHA.
98
00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,466
HEY, JERRY.
HOW WAS YOUR VACATION?
99
00:05:01,468 --> 00:05:04,036
DOLLYWOOD WAS AWESOME.
100
00:05:04,038 --> 00:05:05,871
YOU MUST BE SHANNON.
101
00:05:05,873 --> 00:05:07,639
WELCOME TO THE FAMILY.
102
00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:11,410
YOUR SISTER SAID
THAT YOU'RE A GREAT SISTER.
103
00:05:11,412 --> 00:05:14,913
I'VE GOT MY BUCKET.
104
00:05:14,915 --> 00:05:17,849
AND THEN WHEN THAT'S DONE
YOU CAN JUST MOVE OVER AND,
105
00:05:17,851 --> 00:05:19,384
YOU KNOW, CLOSE IT UP.
106
00:05:19,386 --> 00:05:20,886
HIT START.
107
00:05:20,888 --> 00:05:22,754
THEN ONCE THAT'S GOING
YOU CAN MOVE OVER HERE
108
00:05:22,756 --> 00:05:24,089
AND START FOLDING STUFF.
109
00:05:24,091 --> 00:05:25,724
WHO IS THAT?
110
00:05:25,726 --> 00:05:27,993
WHO? JERRY? OH, HE'S
THE EXECUTIVE MAID.
111
00:05:27,995 --> 00:05:29,594
HE'S WORKED HERE
FOR LIKE 15 YEARS.
112
00:05:29,596 --> 00:05:31,063
SO HE'S THE TOP DOG.
113
00:05:31,065 --> 00:05:32,664
YOU'RE KIDDING. THAT'S OUR BOSS?
114
00:05:36,736 --> 00:05:38,403
GOD, SHAN.
115
00:05:38,405 --> 00:05:39,638
WHAT? I'M JUST SAYING.
116
00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:41,506
DON'T BE SO INSENSITIVE.
117
00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:43,975
YOU'RE LUCKY THAT HE THINKS
SEX OFFENDERS FIGHT SEX CRIMES.
118
00:05:45,745 --> 00:05:48,914
YOU KNOW THIS SPOT
IS REALLY COMPETITIVE.
119
00:05:48,916 --> 00:05:50,882
YOU WANT TO GO GET
SOME HUMP DAY DRINKS
120
00:05:50,884 --> 00:05:54,820
TO CELEBRATE YOUR FIRST DAY?
121
00:05:54,822 --> 00:05:56,722
NOT REALLY.
122
00:06:06,733 --> 00:06:08,734
COME ON.
WHO'S A BETTER DANCER?
123
00:06:08,736 --> 00:06:10,869
ME OR JODIE FOSTER
IN "THE ACCUSED?"
124
00:06:10,871 --> 00:06:13,004
THAT'S NOT A CONTEST
YOU WANT TO WIN.
125
00:06:15,775 --> 00:06:17,943
I LIKE THIS PLACE
'CAUSE OF THE MUSIC.
126
00:06:17,945 --> 00:06:19,111
THAT'S GREAT.
127
00:06:19,113 --> 00:06:21,446
AND THE GIRLS.
128
00:06:21,448 --> 00:06:23,081
I'M SO GLAD YOUR BACK.
129
00:06:23,083 --> 00:06:25,083
WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO TELL ABOUT
THE LAST FEW WEEKS OF REHAB?
130
00:06:25,085 --> 00:06:26,685
I'M NOT.
131
00:06:26,687 --> 00:06:28,420
REHAB IS REHAB, YOU KNOW?
132
00:06:28,422 --> 00:06:31,556
IT'S MY RECOVERY. IT'S PRIVATE.
IT'S MY THING.
133
00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:32,657
WELL HOW DO YOU THINK
YOU'RE DOING, THOUGH?
134
00:06:32,659 --> 00:06:33,825
DO YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER?
135
00:06:33,827 --> 00:06:35,761
I DON'T KNOW.
136
00:06:35,763 --> 00:06:38,463
I FEEL NUMB.
137
00:06:38,465 --> 00:06:43,702
WELL, HEY,
AT LEAST NUMBNESS
IS A FEELING, RIGHT?
138
00:06:43,704 --> 00:06:45,604
TO NUMBNESS.
139
00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:52,577
WHAT WAS THAT?
140
00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:54,012
WHAT WAS WHAT?
141
00:06:54,014 --> 00:06:57,449
THAT, SHAN.
THAT DIDN'T SEEM NUMB.
142
00:06:57,451 --> 00:07:01,052
I'M ALLOWED TO LOOK
AT OTHER HUMAN BEINGS.
143
00:07:01,054 --> 00:07:04,022
HOW'S THAT FREELOADING
WEIRDO YOU'RE DATING?
144
00:07:04,024 --> 00:07:07,626
WHO? ALICIA?
SHE'S NOT A WEIRDO.
145
00:07:07,628 --> 00:07:09,060
MAYBE YOU'RE THINKING
ABOUT SOMEBODY ELSE.
146
00:07:09,062 --> 00:07:10,529
I THINK I'M THINKING
OF ALICIA.
147
00:07:10,531 --> 00:07:12,197
UM, I DON'T KNOW.
148
00:07:12,199 --> 00:07:14,065
SHE'S JUST GOING THROUGH A HARD
TIME RIGHT NOW, SO WE SPLIT UP.
149
00:07:14,067 --> 00:07:15,700
SHE WANTED TO LIKE--
150
00:07:15,702 --> 00:07:17,102
SUCK SOME DICKS?
151
00:07:17,104 --> 00:07:19,004
NO, SHE DIDN'T WANT TO--
STOP, SHANNON.
152
00:07:19,006 --> 00:07:20,639
SHE'S A LOSER STRAIGHT GIRL
153
00:07:20,641 --> 00:07:22,541
WHO WAS NEVER GOING
TO SETTLE DOWN WITH YOU.
154
00:07:22,543 --> 00:07:24,042
I LIKE HELPING PEOPLE.
155
00:07:24,044 --> 00:07:25,744
YEAH, YOU KNOW, WHO ELSE DID?
156
00:07:25,746 --> 00:07:27,846
MOM, AND IT LEFT HER
WITH TWO TITS FULL OF CANCER
157
00:07:27,848 --> 00:07:28,880
SO ENJOY THAT.
158
00:07:32,218 --> 00:07:34,085
I'M GONNA GO PAY
FOR THESE BEERS.
159
00:07:34,087 --> 00:07:35,153
AS USUAL.
160
00:07:45,097 --> 00:07:47,799
HEY, SHAN,
YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT
TO GO WITH ME, RIGHT?
161
00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:49,901
I HAVE A MEETING.
162
00:07:49,903 --> 00:07:51,903
YOU WANT SOME FIDDLE
FOR YOUR PADDLE?
163
00:07:51,905 --> 00:07:54,906
NO, I'M GOOD. I'LL GET
SOMETHING ON THE WAY.
164
00:07:54,908 --> 00:07:57,075
OKAY, IF YOU GET
HUNGRY THERE'S SOME STUFF
IN THE FREEZER.
165
00:07:57,077 --> 00:08:02,547
THERE'S BAGEL BITES,
THREE CHEESE, CHEESE,
SAUSAGE AND PEPPERONI.
166
00:08:02,549 --> 00:08:04,716
STOP TREATING ME LIKE
I'M DAD.
167
00:08:04,718 --> 00:08:07,686
WELL, YOU KNOW,
SOMEONE HAD TO
TAKE CARE OF HIM.
168
00:08:07,688 --> 00:08:09,788
LOOK, IF YOU WANT SOMETHING ELSE
169
00:08:09,790 --> 00:08:11,223
THERE'S PB & J
OR GRILLED CHEESE STUFF.
170
00:08:11,225 --> 00:08:12,224
I'VE BEEN HERE A WEEK.
171
00:08:12,226 --> 00:08:13,492
I KNOW MY FOOD OPTIONS.
172
00:08:13,494 --> 00:08:14,926
JUST GO TO CLASS.
173
00:08:14,928 --> 00:08:18,697
AND THERE'S PINEAPPLE
AND COUNTRY CROCK.
174
00:08:18,699 --> 00:08:20,131
ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE
GOING TO BE OKAY?
175
00:08:20,133 --> 00:08:21,833
YEAH.
176
00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:23,001
PROMISE YOU'RE GOING
TO EAT SOMETHING, RIGHT,
177
00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:24,002
- NOT JUST SMOKE?
- YEAH.
178
00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:27,506
OKAY.
179
00:08:27,508 --> 00:08:28,740
I'LL SEE YOU IN
A COUPLE OF HOURS.
180
00:08:28,742 --> 00:08:31,576
HAVE A GREAT MEETING.
181
00:08:31,578 --> 00:08:34,646
HEY, SHAN, I JUST WANT TO SAY
THAT, YOU KNOW,
182
00:08:34,648 --> 00:08:37,048
I'M HELLA PROUD OF YOU
183
00:08:37,050 --> 00:08:39,284
THAT YOU'RE GETTING
YOUR LIFE BACK TOGETHER.
184
00:08:39,286 --> 00:08:41,052
I KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE IT.
185
00:08:41,054 --> 00:08:42,954
I MEAN LOOK AT ME.
186
00:08:42,956 --> 00:08:44,890
THANKS, DUMMY.
187
00:08:44,892 --> 00:08:48,126
OKAY, SEE YOU,
WOULDN'T WANT TO BE YOU.
188
00:08:48,128 --> 00:08:50,228
I DON'T MEAN IT.
189
00:08:50,230 --> 00:08:52,898
I'LL BE BACK, THE TERMINATOR.
190
00:08:52,900 --> 00:08:54,833
I'LL BE BACK.
191
00:08:54,835 --> 00:08:58,303
LIKE, I'M GOING TO COME BACK
AFTER THE GYM.
192
00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:18,189
- HEY.
- HEY.
193
00:09:18,191 --> 00:09:20,992
THANKS FOR THE TEXT
BUT YOU WERE SUPPOSED
TO CALL, NOT COME OVER.
194
00:09:20,994 --> 00:09:22,627
OH.
195
00:09:22,629 --> 00:09:24,329
SORRY, WELL,
I'M HERE NOW SO COME ON OUT.
196
00:09:24,331 --> 00:09:25,830
LET'S FUCK LIKE
HORNY TEENAGERS.
197
00:09:25,832 --> 00:09:27,732
COME ON.
COME ON.
198
00:09:27,734 --> 00:09:29,701
UH...
199
00:09:29,703 --> 00:09:32,571
YEAH, NO. I CAN'T
BECAUSE I FORGOT
TONIGHT WAS DATE NIGHT.
200
00:09:32,573 --> 00:09:34,739
JULIE IS COMING HOME
AND WE'RE GOING TO PLAY
"SCRABBLE."
201
00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:36,341
WHAT? GOD.
202
00:09:36,343 --> 00:09:38,276
- YOUR WIFE SUCKS.
- YEAH, I KNOW.
203
00:09:38,278 --> 00:09:40,679
EVERYTHING BUT YOUR DICK.
204
00:09:40,681 --> 00:09:43,882
I STAYED
IN THAT HOTEL ROOM
FOR TWO WEEKS
205
00:09:43,884 --> 00:09:45,317
SO THAT MY SISTER WOULDN'T
KNOW I GOT KICKED OUT
206
00:09:45,319 --> 00:09:47,152
OF REHAB FOR YOU.
207
00:09:47,154 --> 00:09:48,820
YEAH,
I'M THE ONE WHO FORGED
THE RELEASE PAPERS
208
00:09:48,822 --> 00:09:49,854
SO THE COURT WOULDN'T
BE ALL OVER YOUR ASS.
209
00:09:49,856 --> 00:09:51,256
IT WAS THE LEAST
YOU COULD DO.
210
00:09:51,258 --> 00:09:52,624
I'M PRETTY SURE
THERAPISTS AREN'T SUPPOSED
211
00:09:52,626 --> 00:09:54,225
TO FUCK THEIR REHAB PATIENTS.
212
00:09:54,227 --> 00:09:56,294
THERAPISTS ARE SCREWED UP
PEOPLE. EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT.
213
00:09:56,296 --> 00:09:58,363
YOU'RE THE ONE WHO
SHARON STONED ME IN
THE OFFICE, REMEMBER?
214
00:09:58,365 --> 00:10:00,231
- THAT'S HOT.
- IT WAS VERY HOT.
215
00:10:00,233 --> 00:10:01,833
"BASIC INSTINCT"
IS A GREAT MOVIE.
216
00:10:01,835 --> 00:10:03,134
BUT I CAN'T.
217
00:10:03,136 --> 00:10:04,669
YOU SAID WHEN I GET BACK
TO MY SISTER'S,
218
00:10:04,671 --> 00:10:06,905
WE'D BE BACK
ON A REGULAR SCHEDULE.
219
00:10:06,907 --> 00:10:08,306
I NEED TO GET LAID.
220
00:10:08,308 --> 00:10:10,308
YOU KNOW,
I THINK AS YOUR THERAPIST
221
00:10:10,310 --> 00:10:13,912
YOU SHOULD PROBABLY GO
TO A MEETING TONIGHT, OKAY?
222
00:10:13,914 --> 00:10:17,048
I'M WET.
223
00:10:17,050 --> 00:10:20,752
FINE, MEETINGS ARE
GREAT PLACES TO GET LAID.
224
00:10:20,754 --> 00:10:22,621
OKAY, I CAN FUCK YOU
IN THE CAR
225
00:10:22,623 --> 00:10:24,789
BUT I HAVE 10 MINUTES
AND THAT'S IT. LET'S GO.
226
00:10:30,863 --> 00:10:35,333
FROM YOUR HIPS.
FROM YOUR HIPS.
227
00:10:35,335 --> 00:10:37,235
WATCH YOUR FOOTWORK.
228
00:10:43,876 --> 00:10:46,277
I PROMISE I WON'T MAKE
YOU DO MORE.
229
00:10:51,417 --> 00:10:53,985
OKAY. UM...
230
00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:57,188
OKAY.
231
00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:59,791
KRAV MAGA.
WE HAVE ONE RULE, ONE RULE ONLY.
232
00:10:59,793 --> 00:11:01,660
NEVER STOP FIGHTING!
233
00:11:01,662 --> 00:11:03,762
- HIYA!
- HIYA!
234
00:11:03,764 --> 00:11:05,296
THANK YOU.
235
00:11:05,298 --> 00:11:07,298
I'M HERE MONDAYS,
236
00:11:07,300 --> 00:11:10,735
WEDNESDAYS, FRIDAYS
AT 8:00 P.M., WEEKENDS
I'M HERE AT NOON.
237
00:11:10,737 --> 00:11:12,270
THE REST OF THE TIME
238
00:11:12,272 --> 00:11:16,041
I'M STUDYING TO BECOME A NUN
SO DON'T BOTHER ME.
239
00:11:19,078 --> 00:11:21,680
- HELLO.
- HEY, KELLY. GREAT CLASS.
240
00:11:21,682 --> 00:11:24,249
AMAZING FOCUS TONIGHT.
REALLY.
241
00:11:24,251 --> 00:11:27,318
I'M TOTALLY RETHINKING MY PLAN
OF KNIFING YOU IN AN ALLEY.
242
00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:29,821
I DIDN'T KNOW
YOU HAD THAT PLAN.
243
00:11:29,823 --> 00:11:32,190
HEY HAVE YOU SEEN
ALICIA AROUND?
244
00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:33,792
I JUST THOUGHT
THAT I WOULD SEE HER
245
00:11:33,794 --> 00:11:35,760
'CAUSE SHE USUALLY
WORKS OUT AT NIGHT.
246
00:11:35,762 --> 00:11:36,928
I MEAN, THANK GOD I DIDN'T
'CAUSE IT'S JUST--
247
00:11:36,930 --> 00:11:38,163
IT'S WEIRD BECAUSE,
YOU KNOW,
248
00:11:38,165 --> 00:11:39,898
SHE CAN'T WORK OUT
IN THE MORNING.
249
00:11:39,900 --> 00:11:40,899
AND SHE DOESN'T GET DOWN
WITH HER PARALEGAL STUFF
250
00:11:40,901 --> 00:11:42,834
UNTIL LIKE 7:00.
251
00:11:42,836 --> 00:11:44,302
AND THEN SHE CAN ONLY
REALLY WORK OUT
BETWEEN 7:30 AND 8:30
252
00:11:44,304 --> 00:11:45,904
BECAUSE SHE HAS TO WATCH
"THE GOOD WIFE" AT 9:00.
253
00:11:45,906 --> 00:11:47,906
AND SHE'S NOT HERE.
254
00:11:47,908 --> 00:11:50,375
I HAVEN'T SEEN HER.
255
00:11:50,377 --> 00:11:51,876
I PROBABLY SHOULDN'T
TELL YOU THIS
256
00:11:51,878 --> 00:11:53,344
BUT I REALLY THINK
I PULLED SOMETHING
257
00:11:53,346 --> 00:11:55,447
LIKE, I MEAN GLUTS
BACK THERE.
258
00:11:55,449 --> 00:11:58,983
I PROBABLY SHOULDN'T HAVE
HAD THOSE BEERS PRE-CLASS.
259
00:11:58,985 --> 00:12:01,219
THAT'S OKAY.
260
00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:04,989
WHY DON'T WE GO SOMEWHERE
AND CONTINUE HAVING BEERS?
261
00:12:04,991 --> 00:12:07,759
AND THEN GET SOME THAI FOOD
OR SOMETHING.
262
00:12:07,761 --> 00:12:08,960
DO YOU WANT TO DO THAT?
263
00:12:08,962 --> 00:12:10,495
I LOVE THAI.
264
00:12:10,497 --> 00:12:13,064
IT'S JUST IT SUCKS
BECAUSE I CAN'T TONIGHT SO,
265
00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:14,999
YOU KNOW, MY SISTER IS BACK
266
00:12:15,001 --> 00:12:16,935
AND I JUST-- I DON'T WANT TO
LEAVE HER HOME ALONE TOO LONG.
267
00:12:16,937 --> 00:12:18,002
SHE'S STILL FRAGILE.
268
00:12:18,004 --> 00:12:19,938
OKAY, COOL.
269
00:12:19,940 --> 00:12:22,974
I MEAN NOT COOL THAT
SHE'S FRAGILE OR
WHATEVER. I'M SORRY--
270
00:12:22,976 --> 00:12:24,476
WHAT'S UP, SHORTIES?
271
00:12:24,478 --> 00:12:26,077
WHAT?
272
00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:30,415
I WAS JUST TRYING
TO MAKE SOME SMALL TALK.
273
00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:31,783
BYE.
274
00:12:31,785 --> 00:12:33,852
BYE.
275
00:12:33,854 --> 00:12:39,257
TODAY WE'RE TALKING
ABOUT OUR BOTTOMS, SO P.S.
ON THE TOPS.
276
00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:42,093
WATCH THE TRIGGER MATERIAL,
PLEASE.
277
00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:43,895
SORRY, DENISE.
278
00:12:43,897 --> 00:12:46,998
TALKING ABOUT OUR ROCK BOTTOMS.
279
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:49,267
I WAS LIVING
A PRETTY AWESOME LIFE.
280
00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:52,303
I WORKED AT "THE OPRAH SHOW"
IN CHICAGO.
281
00:12:52,305 --> 00:12:54,305
I STARTED AS AN ASSISTANT,
282
00:12:54,307 --> 00:12:56,274
WORKED MY WAY UP
TO ASSOCIATE PRODUCER.
283
00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:58,276
I WAS MAKING A LOT OF MONEY.
284
00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:02,781
AND I WAS DOING A LOT OF BLOW,
LIKE, A LOT OF BLOW.
285
00:13:02,783 --> 00:13:04,783
AND YOU KNOW HOW BLOW IS.
IT'S VERY SLIMMING.
286
00:13:04,785 --> 00:13:07,318
I HAD LIKE ABS TO MY NECK.
287
00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:10,889
I LOOKED LIKE A FUCKING
PAKISTANI MARK-PAUL GOSSELAAR.
288
00:13:10,891 --> 00:13:14,192
THAT'S ZACK MORRIS
FROM "SAVED BY THE BELL."
289
00:13:14,194 --> 00:13:15,560
EVERYTHING WAS GOING GREAT.
290
00:13:15,562 --> 00:13:21,332
I HAD THAT SHIT ON LOCK,
OR SO I THOUGHT.
291
00:13:21,334 --> 00:13:23,334
CUT TO TWO YEARS LATER
292
00:13:23,336 --> 00:13:26,805
AND I WAKE UP COMPLETELY
NAKED IN AN ABANDONED
CONSTRUCTION SITE
293
00:13:26,807 --> 00:13:29,407
OUTSIDE OF WRIGLEY FIELD.
294
00:13:29,409 --> 00:13:31,042
HOW DID I GET THERE?
295
00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:34,212
I DON'T KNOW.
I DON'T EVEN LIKE BASEBALL.
296
00:13:34,214 --> 00:13:38,116
ANYWAY WHEN I...
297
00:13:38,118 --> 00:13:42,020
DID MAKE IT TO
WORK THAT DAY, I GOT FIRED.
298
00:13:42,022 --> 00:13:44,956
OPRAH WAS VERY STRICT
ABOUT THAT.
299
00:13:44,958 --> 00:13:49,460
I WAS THIS CLOSE TO OPRAH,
LITERALLY THIS CLOSE.
300
00:13:49,462 --> 00:13:52,063
SHE WOULD WALK RIGHT BY ME.
301
00:13:52,065 --> 00:13:55,133
AND I THREW IT ALL AWAY
FOR DRUGS AND DICK--
302
00:13:55,135 --> 00:13:59,170
MEDIOCRE, MEDIOCRE DICK.
303
00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:00,371
PRETTY GOOD DRUGS THOUGH.
304
00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:04,275
THANK YOU.
305
00:14:04,277 --> 00:14:07,078
I DON'T, LIKE, CONSIDER
LOSING A JOB A BOTTOM.
306
00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:08,112
IT WASN'T JUST ANY JOB.
307
00:14:08,114 --> 00:14:09,547
IT WAS A JOB WITH OPRAH WINFREY.
308
00:14:09,549 --> 00:14:12,283
WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT OPRAH?
309
00:14:12,285 --> 00:14:13,551
AMERICA.
310
00:14:13,553 --> 00:14:14,986
SHE'S A BITCH.
311
00:14:19,291 --> 00:14:21,559
SHAN, THE SMOG INDEX
IS AT 2.
312
00:14:21,561 --> 00:14:23,962
IT'S A GREAT DAY. GET UP.
313
00:14:23,964 --> 00:14:25,964
HEY, SHAN,
314
00:14:25,966 --> 00:14:29,033
I LAID OUT YOUR UNIFORM AND THE
SHOWER'S HOT AND READY FOR YOU.
315
00:14:29,035 --> 00:14:30,168
I'M GOING TO MAKE US BREAKFAST.
316
00:14:30,170 --> 00:14:31,302
OKAY.
317
00:14:31,304 --> 00:14:32,637
YOU NEED TO GET UP.
318
00:14:32,639 --> 00:14:34,906
I HEARD YOU.
319
00:14:34,908 --> 00:14:37,208
I'M EMPLOYEE
OF THE MONTH SO I DON'T
WANT TO BE LATE.
320
00:14:37,210 --> 00:14:38,943
I KNOW YOU DON'T.
321
00:14:41,981 --> 00:14:43,481
YOU SHOULDN'T EAT THAT CRAP.
322
00:14:43,483 --> 00:14:47,285
YOU KNOW, YOU'VE BEEN
EDGY ALL MORNING, SHAN.
323
00:14:47,287 --> 00:14:49,520
I THOUGHT THOSE MEETINGS WERE
SUPPOSED TO HELP MELLOW YOU OUT.
324
00:14:49,522 --> 00:14:52,957
IT'S CALLED PROGRESS
NOT PERFECTION.
325
00:14:52,959 --> 00:14:56,060
AND I DON'T CHANGE
THE FACT THAT I STILL
LIVE IN THIS SHIT BOWL.
326
00:14:56,062 --> 00:15:00,031
HEY, IF YOU HATE FRESNO SO MUCH
WHY DID YOU COME BACK?
327
00:15:00,033 --> 00:15:03,067
OBVIOUSLY BECAUSE I'VE
MADE A SERIES OF POOR
LIFE DECISIONS.
328
00:15:03,069 --> 00:15:05,536
LOOK, POSITIVE THINKING
MEANS POSITIVE RESULTS.
329
00:15:05,538 --> 00:15:09,173
HEY, I OWN A HOME.
THAT'S MY AMERICAN DREAM.
330
00:15:09,175 --> 00:15:12,377
LOCATION, LOCATION,
LOCATION.
331
00:15:25,357 --> 00:15:28,359
HEY, NANCY.
332
00:15:32,231 --> 00:15:33,498
WE'RE ACTUALLY
GOING DOWN.
333
00:15:33,500 --> 00:15:34,599
OH, YEAH?
334
00:15:34,601 --> 00:15:38,102
I'LL TAKE THE RIDE WITH YOU.
335
00:15:38,104 --> 00:15:39,437
YOU'RE NEW HERE.
336
00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:43,441
I KNOW EVERYONE WHO WORKS
IN THE HOTEL. SO...
337
00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:45,576
HOW DO YOU LIKE
THE JOB SO FAR?
338
00:15:45,578 --> 00:15:48,112
I CLEAN ROOMS.
HOW DO YOU THINK I LIKE IT?
339
00:15:48,114 --> 00:15:49,113
RIGHT.
340
00:15:50,383 --> 00:15:52,016
ENJOY YOUR BURRITO.
341
00:15:52,018 --> 00:15:53,685
HAVE A GREAT DAY, LADIES.
342
00:15:58,490 --> 00:16:01,192
I HATE THAT GUY. HE'S ALWAYS
HERE WITH PROSTITUTES.
343
00:16:01,194 --> 00:16:03,261
PROSTITUTES HAVE TO EAT TOO.
344
00:16:03,263 --> 00:16:05,096
WELL, HE'S GROSS.
345
00:16:05,098 --> 00:16:07,598
HE'S FINE.
DON'T BE SO JUDGMENTAL.
346
00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:09,300
WE'RE STILL NOT CLEANING 400.
347
00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:12,337
HIS ROOM SMELLS LIKE BURNT HAIR
AND HE REUSES OLD CONDOMS.
348
00:16:12,339 --> 00:16:13,638
NOBODY DOES THAT.
349
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:15,073
HE DOES.
350
00:16:15,075 --> 00:16:16,975
- SHAN.
- WHAT?
351
00:16:16,977 --> 00:16:19,677
HE HANGS THEM OVER
THE SHOWER ROD LIKE
WIENER COZIES.
352
00:16:19,679 --> 00:16:21,646
WELL, THAT'S FOUL.
353
00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:23,481
I APPRECIATE YOUR
CREATIVITY RIGHT NOW
354
00:16:23,483 --> 00:16:25,550
BUT THIS ISN'T AN ART PROJECT.
THIS IS A PROFESSIONAL JOB.
355
00:16:25,552 --> 00:16:27,185
YOU TOLD ME TO STOCK MY CART.
356
00:16:27,187 --> 00:16:29,587
I AM STOCKING MY CART.
357
00:16:29,589 --> 00:16:31,022
YOU'RE OVER-STOCKING.
358
00:16:31,024 --> 00:16:32,457
THAT IS WAY TOO
MUCH TOILET PAPER.
359
00:16:32,459 --> 00:16:33,658
NO ONE IS GOING
TO GO TO THE BATHROOM THAT MUCH.
360
00:16:45,471 --> 00:16:48,239
UM, YOU KNOW, I'LL TAKE
ROOMS 403 TO 408.
361
00:16:48,241 --> 00:16:49,674
WELL, ALL RIGHT.
362
00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:51,409
ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE GOING
TO BE FINE ON YOUR OWN?
363
00:16:51,411 --> 00:16:53,478
I THINK I CAN
CLEAN PUBES OFF SOAP
BY MYSELF.
364
00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:55,346
THANK YOU.
365
00:17:23,743 --> 00:17:25,476
HEY, DID YOU GET THAT
PICTURE I SENT YOU?
366
00:17:25,478 --> 00:17:27,378
YES, I DID.
YOU LOOK VERY HEALTHY.
367
00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:29,247
YOU LOOK VERY WELL HYDRATED.
368
00:17:29,249 --> 00:17:30,782
I JUST POSTED IT ON INSTAGRAM.
369
00:17:30,784 --> 00:17:32,650
I HAVE 10,000 NEW FOLLOWERS.
370
00:17:32,652 --> 00:17:37,555
LISTEN, I HAVE
SOME VERY BIG NEWS.
371
00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:38,756
WHAT IS IT?
372
00:17:38,758 --> 00:17:40,691
I GAVE JULIE THE LETTER.
373
00:17:40,693 --> 00:17:43,761
I'M FINALLY OUT,
LIKE, REALLY OUT.
374
00:17:43,763 --> 00:17:46,064
WAIT, WHY?
WHAT DID YOU DO?
375
00:17:46,066 --> 00:17:47,765
I GAVE HER THE LETTER.
I TOLD HER EVERYTHING.
376
00:17:47,767 --> 00:17:49,434
WHAT?
377
00:17:49,436 --> 00:17:50,635
YOU KNOW, I DIDN'T THINK
I WAS GOING TO BE ABLE
378
00:17:50,637 --> 00:17:52,370
TO DO IT BUT I SAW THE MOMENT.
379
00:17:52,372 --> 00:17:54,572
IT SORT OF PRESENTED ITSELF,
AND THEN I WAS PRESENT FOR IT.
380
00:17:54,574 --> 00:17:56,541
AND IT JUST KIND OF HAPPENED.
381
00:17:56,543 --> 00:17:58,776
SHE DIDN'T TAKE IT VERY WELL.
382
00:17:58,778 --> 00:18:01,079
BUT, YOU KNOW,
THAT'S GOING TO BE HER THING.
383
00:18:01,081 --> 00:18:03,381
I WANT TO BE A REAL COUPLE,
OKAY?
384
00:18:03,383 --> 00:18:05,183
I WANT TO GO TO MOVIES WITH YOU
385
00:18:05,185 --> 00:18:07,118
AND SIT AT THE SAME TABLE
IN RESTAURANTS
386
00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:08,553
AND NOT HAVE TO FUCK
IN THE BUSH.
387
00:18:08,555 --> 00:18:12,523
- WHAT DO YOU THINK?
- WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?
388
00:18:12,525 --> 00:18:16,260
WELL, BECAUSE YOU TOLD ME THAT
YOU WANTED ME TO LEAVE MY WIFE.
389
00:18:16,262 --> 00:18:18,663
YEAH, BUT I DIDN'T THINK
YOU'D ACTUALLY DO IT.
390
00:18:18,665 --> 00:18:21,399
GOD! WHO DOES THAT?
GO BACK.
391
00:18:21,401 --> 00:18:23,734
WELL, I CAN'T GO BACK.
I JUST TOLD HER AND I'D--
392
00:18:23,736 --> 00:18:25,536
GO BACK, EDWIN.
393
00:18:25,538 --> 00:18:28,606
SHANNON, I LOVE YOU,
ALL RIGHT?
394
00:18:28,608 --> 00:18:30,808
I'M IN THIS.
YOU'RE IN THIS TOO, RIGHT?
395
00:18:30,810 --> 00:18:33,177
LOOK, I CAN'T TAKE THIS KIND
OF PRESSURE RIGHT NOW.
396
00:18:33,179 --> 00:18:34,846
HUH? WHAT DO YOU MEAN
YOU CAN'T TAKE--
397
00:18:34,848 --> 00:18:37,281
I'M NOT WHAT-- WHAT?
398
00:19:03,475 --> 00:19:05,510
HEY, CAN YOU COME BACK
IN 10?
399
00:19:05,512 --> 00:19:07,345
DO YOU WANT TO FUCK?
400
00:19:07,347 --> 00:19:09,447
HEY, ALICIA,
IT'S MARTHA CALLING.
401
00:19:09,449 --> 00:19:12,283
I WAS JUST CALLING
402
00:19:12,285 --> 00:19:14,552
BECAUSE I DIDN'T SEE YOU
AT THE GYM LAST NIGHT
403
00:19:14,554 --> 00:19:17,822
AND THAT MAKES
ME REALLY WORRIED.
404
00:19:18,925 --> 00:19:20,791
YOU CALL ME CHAMP,
405
00:19:20,793 --> 00:19:22,527
AND I'LL FUCK YOU SO HARD
YOU'LL COME OUT YOUR BUTT.
406
00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:28,666
I THOUGHT ABOUT WHAT YOU SAID
407
00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:30,768
AND I TOLD HER THAT YOU CAN
ONLY STAY FOR TWO MORE WEEKS.
408
00:19:30,770 --> 00:19:35,406
I MEAN, I HAVEN'T TOLD HER YET
BUT I'M GOING TO TELL HER, SO...
409
00:19:35,408 --> 00:19:37,441
BUT IT WOULD BE REALLY GREAT
TO YOU ABOUT THAT.
410
00:19:45,350 --> 00:19:47,318
GO-- GO TO THE BED.
411
00:19:51,790 --> 00:19:54,692
UH, I MEAN, I KNOW YOU SAID
YOU DIDN'T WANT TO TALK.
412
00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:58,863
SO, IF YOU FEEL LIKE IT, OKAY?
413
00:19:58,865 --> 00:20:00,431
SO, I DON'T KNOW,
414
00:20:00,433 --> 00:20:02,600
MAYBE WE CAN HANG OUT AGAIN SOON
OR SOMETHING
415
00:20:02,602 --> 00:20:05,836
OR JUST CALL ME OR TEXT ME.
416
00:20:09,441 --> 00:20:10,608
- GET DOWN.
- OKAY.
417
00:20:10,610 --> 00:20:12,376
YEAH.
418
00:20:12,378 --> 00:20:14,212
GONNA GET IT.
419
00:20:14,214 --> 00:20:15,913
OKAY, BYE.
420
00:20:40,839 --> 00:20:42,740
SHANNON?
421
00:20:54,721 --> 00:20:56,621
SHANNON?
422
00:21:00,926 --> 00:21:02,860
HOUSEKEEPING.
423
00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:19,677
FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!
424
00:21:19,679 --> 00:21:20,945
WHAT THE? WHAT THE FUCK?
425
00:21:20,947 --> 00:21:23,681
- FIRE!
- GET OFF--GET OFF OF HER.
426
00:21:23,683 --> 00:21:24,682
SHAN!
427
00:21:24,684 --> 00:21:26,384
YOU WERE RIGHT.
428
00:21:26,386 --> 00:21:29,687
- TAG TEAM!
- GET AWAY FROM MY LITTLE
SISTER!
429
00:21:29,689 --> 00:21:31,489
YOU STILL HAVE YOUR PUSSY,
BABY.
430
00:21:31,491 --> 00:21:32,823
JUMP BACK ON MY DICK.
431
00:21:32,825 --> 00:21:33,991
YOU'RE A DISGUSTING
PIECE OF SHIT.
432
00:21:37,929 --> 00:21:39,730
SHAN!
433
00:21:39,732 --> 00:21:40,998
NO, NO, NO, SHAN.
434
00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:42,533
GOD, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
435
00:21:42,535 --> 00:21:44,902
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
436
00:21:44,904 --> 00:21:47,738
WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING?
WHAT THE FUCK, SHAN?
437
00:21:47,740 --> 00:21:48,806
- GOD.
- OKAY.
438
00:21:48,808 --> 00:21:49,807
- OH, MY GOD.
- OKAY. OKAY.
439
00:21:49,809 --> 00:21:53,744
OKAY. OKAY. SHANNON.
440
00:21:53,746 --> 00:21:57,348
IS HE DEAD? HOLY SHIT, SHIT.
441
00:21:57,350 --> 00:21:58,416
HE'S DEAD SHANNON.
442
00:21:58,418 --> 00:22:00,017
DID I JUST KILL SOMEONE?
443
00:22:00,019 --> 00:22:02,687
I DON'T HEAR ANYTHING, SHAN.
444
00:22:02,689 --> 00:22:03,988
DID I JUST FUCKING KILL SOMEONE?
445
00:22:03,990 --> 00:22:05,623
CALM, BE CALM.
446
00:22:05,625 --> 00:22:07,625
- OH, MY GOD.
- OKAY. IT'S GOING TO BE OKAY.
447
00:22:07,627 --> 00:22:10,494
WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?
WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?
448
00:22:10,496 --> 00:22:11,829
HE WAS RAPING YOU, RIGHT?
449
00:22:11,831 --> 00:22:13,631
- YES.
- RIGHT? RAPING?
450
00:22:13,633 --> 00:22:15,633
100% RAPE.
451
00:22:15,635 --> 00:22:17,435
THAT'S WAS A RAPE.
452
00:22:17,437 --> 00:22:20,471
HE WAS RAPING
THE SHIT OUT OF ME.
453
00:22:20,473 --> 00:22:22,707
OKAY, THEN HE WAS RAPING YOU.
454
00:22:22,709 --> 00:22:24,642
WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHAT?
MARTHA! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
455
00:22:24,644 --> 00:22:26,043
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
DON'T YOU PUT--
456
00:22:26,045 --> 00:22:27,411
- I'M GOING TO THE FRONT DESK.
- DON'T EVEN--
457
00:22:27,413 --> 00:22:30,414
FRONT DESK.
458
00:22:30,416 --> 00:22:32,350
WHAT? ARE YOU CALLING
THE FRONT DESK?
459
00:22:32,352 --> 00:22:33,484
I'M TELLING THEM
WHAT HAPPENED.
460
00:22:33,486 --> 00:22:35,486
NO, YOU'RE NOT.
461
00:22:35,488 --> 00:22:37,054
HELLO?
462
00:22:37,056 --> 00:22:40,524
- HELLO?
- WE CAN BLAME THIS ON OUR BOSS.
463
00:22:40,526 --> 00:22:42,860
- JERRY?
- YEAH, HE WOULD LOVE JAIL.
464
00:22:42,862 --> 00:22:44,462
IT'S VERY STRUCTURED.
465
00:22:44,464 --> 00:22:45,596
HE'D MAKE FRIENDS.
466
00:22:45,598 --> 00:22:47,131
HELLO?
467
00:22:47,133 --> 00:22:49,400
DO YOU WANT ME TO GO
TO JAIL?
468
00:22:49,402 --> 00:22:51,135
NO, OF COURSE NOT.
469
00:22:51,137 --> 00:22:52,937
IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT? 'CAUSE
LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING,
MARTHA.
470
00:22:52,939 --> 00:22:55,506
I AM A REGISTERED
SEX OFFENDER.
471
00:22:55,508 --> 00:22:56,574
DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?
472
00:22:56,576 --> 00:22:58,609
HOW DO I PROVE THAT
HE RAPED ME?
473
00:22:58,611 --> 00:23:00,478
I NEED YOUR HELP.
474
00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:02,580
FINE.
475
00:23:02,582 --> 00:23:03,914
WE'LL FIGURE SOMETHING OUT.
476
00:23:05,952 --> 00:23:07,752
EXCUSE ME.
477
00:23:07,754 --> 00:23:10,855
YEAH, I GOT A PHONE CALL.
IS EVERYTHING OKAY IN THERE?
478
00:23:10,857 --> 00:23:12,690
HELLO?
479
00:23:12,692 --> 00:23:15,126
HELLO? THIS IS KRISTEN
FROM THE FRONT DESK.
480
00:23:15,128 --> 00:23:17,094
IS EVERYTHING OKAY IN THERE?
481
00:23:17,096 --> 00:23:18,763
CAN YOU OPEN UP, PLEASE?
482
00:23:18,765 --> 00:23:23,100
BY LAW I NEED
TO CHECK WHAT IS GOING ON.
483
00:23:23,102 --> 00:23:24,668
CAN I HELP YOU?
484
00:23:24,670 --> 00:23:26,504
LET ME IN.
WHAT'S GOING ON IN THERE?
485
00:23:26,506 --> 00:23:28,005
NOTHING. I'M JUST CLEANING.
486
00:23:28,007 --> 00:23:29,740
OH REALLY? 'CAUSE I GOT
A STRANGE CALL.
487
00:23:29,742 --> 00:23:31,108
IT SOUNDED LIKE A FIGHT
OR SOMETHING.
488
00:23:31,110 --> 00:23:33,544
NO, I'M JUST REALLY
INTENSELY CLEANING.
489
00:23:33,546 --> 00:23:34,912
IT'S REALLY DIRTY IN HERE.
490
00:23:34,914 --> 00:23:37,047
OKAY, LISTEN TO ME,
IF YOU WERE CALLING ME
491
00:23:37,049 --> 00:23:39,150
AND YOU WERE PRANKING ME,
LIKE IN HIGH SCHOOL,
492
00:23:39,152 --> 00:23:40,951
THAT IS GROUNDS
FOR DISMISSAL HERE, MISSY.
493
00:23:40,953 --> 00:23:43,721
AND I AM SURE THAT JERRY
WOULD LOVE TO HEAR ABOUT IT.
494
00:23:43,723 --> 00:23:45,623
WELL, THEN WHY DON'T YOU GO
AND TELL HIM, KRISTEN?
495
00:23:45,625 --> 00:23:46,891
GOOD, I'M TEXTING HIM
RIGHT NOW WITH MY OTHER HAND
496
00:23:46,893 --> 00:23:48,058
THAT YOU CAN'T SEE.
497
00:23:48,060 --> 00:23:50,461
- WHATEVER.
- NO.
498
00:23:55,667 --> 00:23:56,767
WE NEED TO HURRY.
JERRY'S COMING.
499
00:23:56,769 --> 00:23:58,569
- OKAY.
- WHAT DID YOU DO?
500
00:23:58,571 --> 00:23:59,804
I'M JUST BEING RESPECTFUL.
HE DESERVES SOME DIGNITY.
501
00:23:59,806 --> 00:24:01,071
EVERYONE DESERVES
SOME DIGNITY.
502
00:24:01,073 --> 00:24:03,941
- EVEN RAPISTS?
- YES, EVEN RAPISTS.
503
00:24:03,943 --> 00:24:05,709
OKAY.
504
00:24:05,711 --> 00:24:06,877
PULL HARDER.
505
00:24:16,955 --> 00:24:18,823
HEADING TO 400, COPY.
506
00:24:18,825 --> 00:24:20,191
OVER AND OUT, GOOD BUDDY.
507
00:24:35,073 --> 00:24:36,707
WHERE ARE WE TAKING HIM?
508
00:24:36,709 --> 00:24:38,476
THE PRESIDENTIAL
SUITE IS EMPTY.
509
00:24:45,184 --> 00:24:47,084
LUNCH TIME.
510
00:24:51,656 --> 00:24:52,790
GOOD MORNING, LADIES.
511
00:24:58,630 --> 00:25:00,197
SORRY. I DON'T KNOW
WHY SHE'S BARKING.
512
00:25:00,199 --> 00:25:02,099
SHIT SHEETS.
513
00:25:02,101 --> 00:25:04,535
THE SHEETS ARE FILLED
WITH SHIT. YEAH.
514
00:25:04,537 --> 00:25:05,669
SOMEONE HAD AN ACCIDENT.
515
00:25:05,671 --> 00:25:06,904
A BACHELOR PARTY.
516
00:25:06,906 --> 00:25:08,772
HAVE A GOOD DAY.
ENJOY YOUR STAY HERE.
517
00:25:14,145 --> 00:25:16,947
SHIT. HE LIVES IN FRESNO.
518
00:25:16,949 --> 00:25:19,116
HOPE HE DOESN'T HAVE
FAMILY HERE
519
00:25:19,118 --> 00:25:21,118
AND THEY DON'T COME
LOOKING FOR HIM.
520
00:25:21,120 --> 00:25:23,687
MAYBE HE DOESN'T HAVE
ANY FAMILY. OUR PARENTS
ARE DEAD.
521
00:25:23,689 --> 00:25:26,757
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON WHO
WOULD TURN THAT INTO A POSITIVE.
522
00:25:26,759 --> 00:25:28,225
LOOK AT THIS.
523
00:25:28,227 --> 00:25:31,562
DUDE WON A BRONZE IN BEIJING.
524
00:25:31,564 --> 00:25:33,197
YOU KILLED AN OLYMPIAN.
525
00:25:33,199 --> 00:25:36,767
ONLY IF YOU CONSIDER HAMMER
THROW A SPORT WHICH--
526
00:25:37,837 --> 00:25:39,036
OH NO. FUCK!
527
00:25:39,038 --> 00:25:40,704
WHO WOULD CALL HIM?
528
00:25:40,706 --> 00:25:42,139
FUCK! IT'S HIS SISTER.
529
00:25:42,141 --> 00:25:43,807
OKAY, JUST GIVE IT TO ME.
530
00:25:43,809 --> 00:25:45,943
I'LL JUST LET IT GO TO
VOICE MAIL, THEN WE'LL--
531
00:25:45,945 --> 00:25:47,912
HELLO?
532
00:25:47,914 --> 00:25:50,080
- I KNOW YOU'RE THERE.
- IT'S A REALLY OLD PHONE.
533
00:25:50,082 --> 00:25:52,116
- I DIDN'T KNOW.
- HELLO?
534
00:25:53,752 --> 00:25:59,223
YOU HAVE REACHED THE VOICEMAIL
BOX OF...
535
00:25:59,225 --> 00:26:04,995
BORIS LIP-KA.
536
00:26:04,997 --> 00:26:08,165
AT THE TONE LEAVE A MESSAGE.
537
00:26:08,167 --> 00:26:12,570
BEEP!
538
00:26:12,572 --> 00:26:14,271
HEY. IT'S ME.
539
00:26:14,273 --> 00:26:16,206
I KNOW YOU'RE PROBABLY JERKING OFF IN YOUR HOTEL ROOM
540
00:26:16,208 --> 00:26:18,342
LIKE A DISGUSTING PIG RIGHT NOW,
541
00:26:18,344 --> 00:26:21,312
BUT YOU BETTER COME HOMEFOR DAD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY TODAY.
542
00:26:21,314 --> 00:26:24,048
I'M SO FUCKING SICK OF DEALING WITH THESE TWO INVALIDS ON MY OWN!
543
00:26:24,050 --> 00:26:26,250
YOU BETTER BE HERE BY 3:00
544
00:26:26,252 --> 00:26:28,719
OR I SWEAR I'LL COME GET YOU MYSELF.
545
00:26:28,721 --> 00:26:33,123
OKAY, SO THEY'RE NOT CLOSE
AND HIS PARENTS ARE INVALIDS.
546
00:26:33,125 --> 00:26:34,658
I FEEL LIKE THIS IS GOOD NEWS.
547
00:26:34,660 --> 00:26:35,993
WHEN HE DOESN'T SHOW UP
AT 3:00
548
00:26:35,995 --> 00:26:38,829
HIS SISTER IS GOING
TO COME LOOKING FOR HIM.
549
00:26:38,831 --> 00:26:41,966
WHAT IF WE DUMP HIS BODY
AT DRY CREEK CANAL
550
00:26:41,968 --> 00:26:43,233
AND MAKE IT LOOK A SUICIDE?
551
00:26:43,235 --> 00:26:45,069
ISN'T THAT
WHERE EVERYONE DUMPS BODIES?
552
00:26:45,071 --> 00:26:46,971
HOW ARE WE GOING TO DO THAT?
553
00:27:02,821 --> 00:27:04,722
OF COURSE,
THE RAPIST HAS A RAPIST VAN.
554
00:27:04,724 --> 00:27:05,923
LET'S HURRY UP
AND GET HIM IN THERE.
555
00:27:13,331 --> 00:27:16,300
LOOK, SHAN, HE WAS TRYING
TO BE A GOOD PERSON.
556
00:27:16,302 --> 00:27:17,735
HE WAS IN TO YOGA.
557
00:27:17,737 --> 00:27:19,336
WE CAN STILL GO
TO THE POLICE.
558
00:27:19,338 --> 00:27:20,838
WE'RE NOT GOING
TO THE POLICE, OKAY?
559
00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:23,273
WE'RE DUMPING THE BODY
AT DRY CREEK.
560
00:27:23,275 --> 00:27:25,876
UNLESS YOU CAN FIND HIS PARENTS'
ADDRESS IN HIS PHONE.
561
00:27:25,878 --> 00:27:27,277
AND THEN-- THEN WHAT?
562
00:27:27,279 --> 00:27:29,847
JUST PUT HIM ON THE DOORSTEP,
RING THE BELL?
563
00:27:29,849 --> 00:27:32,049
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
HERE'S YOUR DEAD SON."
564
00:27:32,051 --> 00:27:34,118
CALM DOWN, ALL RIGHT?
565
00:27:34,120 --> 00:27:36,420
CALM DOWN.
566
00:27:36,422 --> 00:27:39,423
JUST FIGURE OUT A DIFFERENT WAY
TO MAKE HIS BODY DISAPPEAR.
567
00:27:39,425 --> 00:27:41,091
GIVE ME THE PHONE.
JUST GIVE IT TO ME.
568
00:27:44,696 --> 00:27:47,164
ALL RIGHT, HERE IT IS.
569
00:27:47,166 --> 00:27:49,700
MOM AND DAD'S ADDRESS,
BOOM AND BOOM.
570
00:27:49,702 --> 00:27:51,969
WHAT ARE WE GOING
TO DO WHEN WE GET THERE?
571
00:27:51,971 --> 00:27:53,871
I HAVE A PLAN.
572
00:28:05,884 --> 00:28:08,285
USE YOUR KEY!
573
00:28:09,287 --> 00:28:12,089
WHO ARE YOU?
574
00:28:12,091 --> 00:28:13,991
I'M A FRIEND OF BORIS'S,
AS YOU MUST BE HIS SISTER.
575
00:28:13,993 --> 00:28:15,793
- YES, I AM.
- I'M HIS FRIEND.
576
00:28:15,795 --> 00:28:17,761
BORIS DOESN'T HAVE
ANY FRIENDS.
577
00:28:17,763 --> 00:28:20,731
I'M HIS SISTER
AND I'M NOT EVEN HIS FRIEND.
578
00:28:20,733 --> 00:28:22,099
WELL--
579
00:28:29,974 --> 00:28:32,910
- WELL--
- WHERE IS HE?
580
00:28:32,912 --> 00:28:39,817
UH...HE'S-- BORIS IS MORE
THAN A FRIEND TO ME.
I'M HIS LIFE GURU.
581
00:28:39,819 --> 00:28:42,352
OH, THIS IS GOOD.
SO HE'S GOT A LIFE COACH NOW?
582
00:28:42,354 --> 00:28:43,420
GURU.
583
00:28:43,422 --> 00:28:44,822
OH, GURU.
584
00:28:44,824 --> 00:28:46,290
- YEAH.
- INTERESTING.
585
00:28:46,292 --> 00:28:47,858
SO WHAT KIND OF STUFF
DO YOU ADVISE HIM ON?
586
00:28:47,860 --> 00:28:49,326
THE BEST PROSTITUTES
TO FUCK?
587
00:28:49,328 --> 00:28:50,961
I CAN SEE WHY YOU WOULD
SAY THAT
588
00:28:50,963 --> 00:28:53,997
AND THAT HAS BEEN HIS PAINFUL
REALITY FOR SOME TIME,
589
00:28:53,999 --> 00:28:55,733
BUT I'M HOPING
WITH MY HELP AND GUIDANCE
590
00:28:55,735 --> 00:28:59,169
WE CAN MOVE HIM THROUGH THAT
AND I CAN HELP HIM CHANGE.
591
00:28:59,171 --> 00:29:01,004
WELL, IT'S TOO BAD
THAT HE WASN'T HERE
592
00:29:01,006 --> 00:29:03,507
TO HELP ME
WHEN I WAS CHANGING
POP'S DIAPERS, HUH?
593
00:29:03,509 --> 00:29:05,109
COULDN'T HELP HIM
WITH THAT I GUESS, RIGHT?
594
00:29:05,111 --> 00:29:06,977
ARE YOU FEELING A LOT OF PAIN?
595
00:29:06,979 --> 00:29:08,245
- YES.
- CAN I COME IN?
596
00:29:10,215 --> 00:29:13,083
OKAY, COME IN.
597
00:29:16,255 --> 00:29:17,955
GURU, GURU.
598
00:29:17,957 --> 00:29:18,956
YES, I'M A--
599
00:29:18,958 --> 00:29:21,892
GURU, GURU.
600
00:29:21,894 --> 00:29:23,794
GURU.
601
00:29:25,897 --> 00:29:29,933
GURU, GURU, GURU.
602
00:29:36,308 --> 00:29:38,976
SO I'M HERE TO
REPRESENT BORIS.
603
00:29:38,978 --> 00:29:42,980
AND HE--
HE HAS COME TO THE REALIZATION
604
00:29:42,982 --> 00:29:45,115
THAT HE HAS BEEN LIVING
IN THE PAST.
605
00:29:45,117 --> 00:29:48,118
AND ALTHOUGH WINNING
AN OLYMPIC BRONZE MEDAL
606
00:29:48,120 --> 00:29:50,020
IS A MAJOR LIFE ACHIEVEMENT,
607
00:29:50,022 --> 00:29:52,790
HE'S NEVER BEEN
ABLE TO REALLY MOVE PAST THIS.
608
00:29:52,792 --> 00:29:59,229
SO WE'VE DECIDED THAT'S
IT'S DUE TO FEAR OF FAILURE.
609
00:29:59,231 --> 00:30:00,831
HE'S AFRAID OF FAILING!
610
00:30:04,469 --> 00:30:07,404
SO WE'VE DECIDED THE BEST
THING FOR BORIS
611
00:30:07,406 --> 00:30:12,209
RIGHT NOW IN ORDER FOR HIM TO
START OVER IS TO LEAVE FRESNO
FOREVER.
612
00:30:12,211 --> 00:30:14,211
TO NEVER EVER COME BACK,
613
00:30:14,213 --> 00:30:17,247
TO SEVER ALL TIES
WITH HIS FAMILY
614
00:30:17,249 --> 00:30:20,284
AND TO NEVER EVER TALK
TO YOU AGAIN.
615
00:30:27,860 --> 00:30:30,561
THIS IS WHAT I HAVE TO DEAL
WITH ALL DAY LONG.
616
00:30:30,563 --> 00:30:35,265
HE REQUESTED
THAT I GIVE YOU HIS BACKPACK.
617
00:30:57,856 --> 00:31:01,491
BORIS, DON'T LEAVE ME HERE!
618
00:31:01,493 --> 00:31:04,394
BORIS IS SO SORRY
THAT HE HAS
TO LEAVE THE FAMILY,
619
00:31:04,396 --> 00:31:05,629
BUT HE KNOWS
IT'S THE ONLY WAY
620
00:31:05,631 --> 00:31:07,064
HE'S GOING TO BE ABLE
TO GROW UP.
621
00:31:08,567 --> 00:31:10,467
POOPY!
622
00:31:11,936 --> 00:31:13,637
YOU BETTER--
623
00:31:16,341 --> 00:31:17,541
YOU THINK SHE BOUGHT IT?
624
00:31:17,543 --> 00:31:19,443
I THINK SO.
BUT THIS WILL HELP.
625
00:31:20,945 --> 00:31:22,512
"SELL THIS
AND GET OUT OF FRESNO.
626
00:31:22,514 --> 00:31:25,983
I LOVE YOU.
BUT I CAN'T CHANGE
ANOTHER DIAPER."
627
00:31:25,985 --> 00:31:27,584
X-O-X-O, BORIS.
628
00:31:27,586 --> 00:31:30,320
YEAH, SOUNDS GOOD.
629
00:31:30,322 --> 00:31:32,456
WHAT SHOULD WE DO WITH HIM?
SHOULD WE JUST LEAVE HIM HERE?
630
00:31:32,458 --> 00:31:35,893
NO, DUMBASS
WE SHOULD ROLL HIM
BACK TO THE HOTEL
631
00:31:35,895 --> 00:31:37,294
AND FIGURE SOMETHING OUT.
632
00:31:37,296 --> 00:31:39,229
GOD, SHAN,
DO YOU JUST HAVE
TO SMOKE ALL THE TIME?
633
00:31:39,231 --> 00:31:41,098
YES, I DO.
634
00:31:41,100 --> 00:31:42,299
YOU KNOW,
WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF
A SERIOUS DROUGHT, RIGHT?
635
00:31:42,301 --> 00:31:44,101
YES.
636
00:31:44,103 --> 00:31:46,336
I MEAN, DO YOU JUST
WANT THE WHOLE PLACE
TO GO UP IN FLAMES?
637
00:31:46,338 --> 00:31:50,173
ACTUALLY, YEAH. THAT WOULD
KIND OF SOLVE OUR PROBLEM,
IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT.
638
00:31:52,043 --> 00:31:54,177
WE KNOW SOMEBODY WHO HAS
A PLACE RIGHT AROUND HERE.
639
00:31:54,179 --> 00:31:56,179
WE DO?
640
00:32:00,919 --> 00:32:02,119
GERALD?
641
00:32:02,121 --> 00:32:03,387
WHAT THE FUCK, MARTHA.
642
00:32:03,389 --> 00:32:05,589
BE QUIET AND ADMIT
IT'S A GOOD IDEA.
643
00:32:05,591 --> 00:32:08,258
ALL RIGHT. AND YOU WERE
SAYING THE BREED WAS A DANE?
644
00:32:08,260 --> 00:32:09,927
GREAT DANE.
645
00:32:09,929 --> 00:32:11,695
- A GREAT ONE?
- YEAH, THAT'S WHY HE'S SO BIG.
646
00:32:11,697 --> 00:32:12,963
OKAY. SO...
647
00:32:17,635 --> 00:32:19,670
YOU DO REMEMBER?
648
00:32:22,040 --> 00:32:23,607
COME ON, MAN. MY SISTER.
649
00:32:23,609 --> 00:32:25,008
I'M SORRY.
650
00:32:25,010 --> 00:32:26,443
- HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON?
- HEY.
651
00:32:26,445 --> 00:32:28,078
HEY.
652
00:32:28,080 --> 00:32:29,680
THESE ARE OLD FRIENDS OF MINE,
SHANNON AND MARTHA.
653
00:32:29,682 --> 00:32:31,682
IS THIS THE SCOOTER GIRL?
654
00:32:31,684 --> 00:32:33,383
HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?
655
00:32:33,385 --> 00:32:35,619
YOU TOLD ME ABOUT HER
ON ONE OF OUR FIRST DATES.
656
00:32:35,621 --> 00:32:37,087
WOW. YOU REALLY
LISTEN TO ME.
657
00:32:37,089 --> 00:32:38,488
I LISTEN TO YOU
WHEN YOU TALK, BABY.
658
00:32:38,490 --> 00:32:40,257
BUT YOU LOOK THE OTHER WAY.
IT'S INCREDIBLE.
659
00:32:40,259 --> 00:32:41,591
YEAH.
660
00:32:41,593 --> 00:32:43,493
WHAT'S IN THE BIN?
661
00:32:43,495 --> 00:32:46,330
REALLY HOPE IT'S A DEAD DOG
BECAUSE WE COULD USE THE CASH.
662
00:32:46,332 --> 00:32:48,198
SENSITIVITY, HONEY, PLEASE.
663
00:32:48,200 --> 00:32:50,667
I'M SORRY. WE REALLY HOPE
IT'S YOUR DEAD DOG. PLEASE?
664
00:32:50,669 --> 00:32:52,269
THAT'S BORIS.
HE JUST PASSED AWAY,
665
00:32:52,271 --> 00:32:54,204
SO WE'RE HOPING
TO GET HIM CREMATED.
666
00:32:54,206 --> 00:32:56,106
GERALD WAS SAYING WE
COULD HAVE THE FRIENDS
AND MY FAMILY DISCOUNT.
667
00:32:56,108 --> 00:32:58,008
I'M SORRY.
668
00:32:58,010 --> 00:33:01,278
YOU KNOW,
THIS IS THE REASON
WHY WE'RE STUCK HERE.
669
00:33:01,280 --> 00:33:03,747
THIS, BULLSHIT FRIENDS
AND FAMILY THING.
670
00:33:03,749 --> 00:33:07,384
NOT EVERYONE IS YOUR
FAMILY AND ALMOST
NO ONE IS YOUR FRIEND.
671
00:33:07,386 --> 00:33:09,519
CAN WE WALK
AROUND THE CEMETERY
AND DO THIS. IT'S JUST--
672
00:33:09,521 --> 00:33:13,757
WE ALSO-- WE NEED
TO GET THE BIN CREMATED TOO.
673
00:33:13,759 --> 00:33:16,760
THERE ARE NO DISCOUNTS
AND THE BIN IS EXTRA.
674
00:33:16,762 --> 00:33:19,062
THAT'S FINE.
675
00:33:19,064 --> 00:33:20,731
WE CAN PAY.
676
00:33:20,733 --> 00:33:22,532
OKAY.
HAND ME THE TAPE MEASURE.
677
00:33:22,534 --> 00:33:24,468
FOR WHAT? WHY DO YOU NEED THE--
WHY DO NEED THE TAPE MEASURE?
678
00:33:24,470 --> 00:33:26,036
- WE HAVE TO MEASURE FOR THE--
- WE ALREADY KNOW.
679
00:33:26,038 --> 00:33:27,337
NO, WE MEASURED HIM.
680
00:33:27,339 --> 00:33:28,638
IT'S THE AVERAGE SIZE
OF A GREAT DANE.
681
00:33:28,640 --> 00:33:30,073
IT'S FIVE FOOT,
SOMETHING, SOMETHING.
682
00:33:30,075 --> 00:33:32,409
JUST CHARGE US
A GREAT DANE PRICE.
683
00:33:32,411 --> 00:33:34,144
THE EXTRA, EXTRA LARGE.
IT'S FINE.
684
00:33:34,146 --> 00:33:36,046
- YOU GUYS CAN LEAVE.
- YOU DON'T HAVE TO MEASURE HIM.
685
00:33:36,048 --> 00:33:38,015
- YOU DON'T HAVE TO MEASURE HIM.
- I HAVE TO MEASURE HIM.
686
00:33:39,018 --> 00:33:40,751
WHAT THE FUCK?
687
00:33:40,753 --> 00:33:42,652
WE SAID DON'T MEASURE IT!
688
00:33:48,726 --> 00:33:50,560
I'M SORRY.
WE NEED TO CALL THE COPS.
689
00:33:50,562 --> 00:33:51,795
WHAT FOR?
690
00:33:51,797 --> 00:33:53,397
- I'M WITH RUBY.
- SHUT UP.
691
00:33:53,399 --> 00:33:55,265
WE OWN A BUSINESS,
ALL RIGHT?
692
00:33:55,267 --> 00:33:57,501
WE CAN LOSE EVERYTHING!
THERE'S A HUMAN BODY IN HERE.
693
00:33:57,503 --> 00:33:59,302
I UNDERSTAND THAT, OKAY?
LISTEN.
694
00:33:59,304 --> 00:34:01,304
- DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?
- YES, I DO.
695
00:34:01,306 --> 00:34:03,640
WELL, I'M THE BUSINESS
PERSON HERE, OKAY?
696
00:34:03,642 --> 00:34:05,776
WE AGREED--
WE AGREED ON THAT.
697
00:34:05,778 --> 00:34:08,145
AND I SAY WE DON'T CALL
THE COPS.
698
00:34:08,147 --> 00:34:09,780
BECAUSE IF WE CALL THE COPS,
WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN?
699
00:34:09,782 --> 00:34:11,715
NOTHING'S GOING TO--
THEY'RE GOING TO GO JAIL
700
00:34:11,717 --> 00:34:13,283
AND WE'RE NOT GOING
TO GET ANYTHING.
701
00:34:13,285 --> 00:34:14,451
NO REWARD.
702
00:34:14,453 --> 00:34:15,652
I MEAN,
YOU THINK THAT THE GUY
703
00:34:15,654 --> 00:34:17,120
WHO FOUND THE SLAVE GIRLS
IN OHIO?
704
00:34:17,122 --> 00:34:18,221
- OHIO?
- ARIEL CASTRO.
705
00:34:18,223 --> 00:34:19,589
YEAH. DO YOU THINK
THAT THAT GUY--
706
00:34:19,591 --> 00:34:22,092
DID HE GET ANYTHING?
BECAUSE HE DIDN'T.
707
00:34:22,094 --> 00:34:23,727
NO. UH-UH.
708
00:34:23,729 --> 00:34:25,829
HE GOT, LIKE, A HUG
FROM A LITTLE WHITE GIRL
709
00:34:25,831 --> 00:34:27,497
AND THEN HE GOT,
710
00:34:27,499 --> 00:34:28,732
LIKE, AN EMBARRASSING INTERVIEW
LIKE GOT AUTO-TUNED
711
00:34:28,734 --> 00:34:29,833
AND, LIKE,
PUT ALL OVER YOUTUBE.
712
00:34:29,835 --> 00:34:31,268
THAT'S NOT WHAT WE WANT.
713
00:34:31,270 --> 00:34:32,602
NO, NOT AT ALL.
714
00:34:32,604 --> 00:34:35,572
WE'RE GOING TO BLACKMAIL
THESE TWO BITCHES.
715
00:34:35,574 --> 00:34:37,107
ARE YOU KIDDING?
716
00:34:37,109 --> 00:34:39,576
WE WANT 25,000
TO GET OUT OF THIS BUTT CRACK
717
00:34:39,578 --> 00:34:40,677
AND WE WANT IT BY SUNDAY.
718
00:34:40,679 --> 00:34:42,546
WHAT?
719
00:34:42,548 --> 00:34:44,114
THERE'S NO WAY WE CAN COME UP
WITH 25K IN THREE DAYS.
720
00:34:44,116 --> 00:34:45,449
WE'RE IN FRESNO.
721
00:34:45,451 --> 00:34:47,584
- YEAH.
- I'M PRETTY SURE YOU CAN.
722
00:34:47,586 --> 00:34:50,854
YOU SEEM VERY RESOURCEFUL.
SO THREE DAYS, 25,000.
723
00:34:50,856 --> 00:34:52,556
- 25?
- WE CAN GO TO DETROIT
WITH THAT.
724
00:34:52,558 --> 00:34:54,124
WE COULD DEFINITELY GO
TO DETROIT.
725
00:34:54,126 --> 00:34:56,126
WE COULD MOVE THERE
AND WE SET UP SHOP AND--
726
00:34:56,128 --> 00:34:58,495
AND GUESS WHAT, YOU GET
A CREMATION OUT OF IT.
727
00:34:58,497 --> 00:34:59,696
YOU KNOW HOW GOOD WE ARE
AT CREMATION?
728
00:34:59,698 --> 00:35:01,331
WE'RE REALLY GOOD AT THEM.
729
00:35:01,333 --> 00:35:03,233
A FUNERAL SERVICE
LIKE YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE.
730
00:35:03,235 --> 00:35:05,869
BUT, YOU KNOW, IF YOU DON'T
GET THE MONEY THEN
731
00:35:05,871 --> 00:35:10,240
YOU'RE GOING TO BE CHARGED FOR
MANSLAUGHTER, SO THERE'S THAT.
732
00:35:10,242 --> 00:35:11,541
WHAT ABOUT A PAYMENT PLAN?
733
00:35:11,543 --> 00:35:12,609
NOBODY EVEN HAS THAT.
734
00:35:12,611 --> 00:35:14,311
LAYAWAY?
735
00:35:14,313 --> 00:35:16,513
CAN I GIVE YOU A LITTLE BIT
ADVICE AS FAR AS BODIES GO?
736
00:35:16,515 --> 00:35:20,484
THAT GUY IS GOING TO ROT
IF YOU DON'T GET HIM ON ICE.
737
00:35:20,486 --> 00:35:21,785
THAT'S ALL. IT JUST HAPPENS.
738
00:35:21,787 --> 00:35:24,788
IT'S BIOLOGY.
739
00:35:24,790 --> 00:35:27,290
WHAT A STUPID ASS IDEA.
740
00:35:27,292 --> 00:35:28,592
GERALD.
741
00:35:28,594 --> 00:35:30,460
COME ON, HE BURNS THINGS
FOR A LIVING, OKAY?
742
00:35:30,462 --> 00:35:33,363
FOR $25,000! AND THEY'LL
PROBABLY STILL TURN US IN.
743
00:35:33,365 --> 00:35:34,564
THEY'RE NOT TURNING US IN.
744
00:35:34,566 --> 00:35:36,500
SHE SAID SHE WANTS OUT
OF FRESNO.
745
00:35:36,502 --> 00:35:39,870
THE ONLY WAY TO GET
25K IS DEALING DRUGS
OR PROSTITUTION.
746
00:35:41,506 --> 00:35:43,673
I JUST PAID THOUSANDS
TO PUT YOU IN REHAB
747
00:35:43,675 --> 00:35:45,242
AND I DOUBLE MORTGAGED
MY HOUSE.
748
00:35:45,244 --> 00:35:47,577
YOU'RE NOT BECOMING
A PROSTITUTE.
749
00:35:47,579 --> 00:35:49,679
I'M NOT HAVING SEX.
I'LL BE YOUR PIMP.
750
00:35:49,681 --> 00:35:51,548
I'M NOT TOUCHING
SWEATY BALLS!
751
00:35:51,550 --> 00:35:53,650
THEY'RE NOT ALWAYS SWEATY.
752
00:35:53,652 --> 00:35:56,520
JUST PRETEND THEY'RE
TINY LITTLE BOOBS.
753
00:35:56,522 --> 00:35:58,188
OKAY FINE.
WHAT ABOUT THIS?
754
00:35:58,190 --> 00:36:00,390
WHAT IF WE PULL
THE FIRE ALARM
IN THE HOTEL
755
00:36:00,392 --> 00:36:01,725
AND STEAL IT
FROM THE FRONT DESK?
756
00:36:01,727 --> 00:36:03,527
I WON'T JEOPARDIZE MY JOB.
757
00:36:03,529 --> 00:36:04,861
LISTEN! IF WE DON'T GET
RID OF THIS BODY
758
00:36:04,863 --> 00:36:06,463
THAT WE'RE GOING TO GO
TO JAIL
759
00:36:06,465 --> 00:36:07,831
AND YOU WON'T EVEN HAVE
A JOB, RIGHT?
760
00:36:07,833 --> 00:36:09,266
YEAH, WELL, THANKS.
THANKS TO YOUR SMOKING,
761
00:36:09,268 --> 00:36:10,834
I FOR SURE LOST MY V.I.P.
PARKING SPOT.
762
00:36:10,836 --> 00:36:12,802
OKAY.
763
00:36:12,804 --> 00:36:15,839
THIS IS GOOD. PEOPLE ONLY
PAY IN CASH AT SEX SHOPS.
764
00:36:15,841 --> 00:36:17,941
LET'S ROB IT.
MM-HMM,
MM-HMM.
765
00:36:17,943 --> 00:36:20,644
IT'S GOOD.
766
00:36:23,415 --> 00:36:25,215
I CAN BARELY SEE.
767
00:36:25,217 --> 00:36:27,584
D.I.Y. TOILET PAPER,
IT'S GENIUS.
768
00:36:27,586 --> 00:36:30,587
I KNOW THIS PLACE AND
THE WORKERS ARE ALWAYS HIGH.
769
00:36:30,589 --> 00:36:33,757
IT'S EASY MONEY. COME ON.
770
00:36:33,759 --> 00:36:35,792
THIS IS STUPID,
SHAN, WE LOOK RIDICULOUS.
771
00:36:43,901 --> 00:36:45,602
DOES ANYBODY WORK
HERE?
772
00:36:45,604 --> 00:36:47,537
DOES ANYBODY WORK HERE?
773
00:36:47,539 --> 00:36:49,306
YEAH, SORRY SMOKE BREAK.
774
00:36:51,275 --> 00:36:52,909
OH, I LIKE THE T.P.
ON YOUR HEAD.
775
00:36:52,911 --> 00:36:54,544
IT'S ALL RAPEY AND SEXY.
776
00:36:54,546 --> 00:36:56,379
I AM VERY INTO SCAT.
777
00:36:56,381 --> 00:36:58,348
I NEED YOU TO COME OVER
HERE RIGHT NOW
778
00:36:58,350 --> 00:37:00,750
AND OPEN THIS CASH REGISTER
AND I NEED ALL THE CASH, NOW.
779
00:37:00,752 --> 00:37:01,918
YEAH, GET OVER HERE.
780
00:37:08,326 --> 00:37:10,927
WHO KNEW SEX SHOPS WERE
SUCH A CASH POOR BUSINESS.
781
00:37:10,929 --> 00:37:12,963
THESE DILDOS HAVE GOT
TO BE WORTH SOMETHING.
782
00:38:15,994 --> 00:38:17,894
COME ON, LET'S GO.
783
00:38:21,666 --> 00:38:23,700
I CAN'T BELIEVE
WE ONLY MADE $400.
784
00:38:23,702 --> 00:38:26,436
IT'S FAIR TO SAY
WE OVERESTIMATED THE MARKET.
785
00:38:26,438 --> 00:38:27,871
THAT'S A FUCKING
UNDERSTATEMENT.
786
00:38:27,873 --> 00:38:29,506
LESBIANS ARE POOR.
787
00:38:29,508 --> 00:38:31,474
THEY ALWAYS ARE
AND THEY ALWAYS WILL BE.
788
00:38:31,476 --> 00:38:33,576
SHAN, DON'T BE HOMOPHOBIC
RIGHT NOW, OKAY?
789
00:38:33,578 --> 00:38:34,911
I ONLY TELL THE TRUTH.
790
00:38:34,913 --> 00:38:36,546
WELL HERE'S THE TRUTH.
791
00:38:36,548 --> 00:38:39,349
WHOSE GREAT IDEA
WAS IT TO ROB A SEX SHOP, OKAY?
792
00:38:39,351 --> 00:38:40,750
IT'S WASN'T MINE.
THAT WAS YOURS.
793
00:38:40,752 --> 00:38:42,519
LET ME REMIND YOU.
THAT WAS MY SECOND IDEA.
794
00:38:42,521 --> 00:38:43,953
MY FIRST WAS TO ROB HOTEL ROOMS,
795
00:38:43,955 --> 00:38:45,955
BUT SOMEBODY WAS TOO SCARED
OF GETTING IN TROUBLE.
796
00:38:45,957 --> 00:38:47,824
YOU KNOW WHAT?
797
00:38:47,826 --> 00:38:49,592
WHY DON'T YOU TAKE THESE DILDOS
AND SHOVE THEM UP YOUR ASS?
798
00:38:49,594 --> 00:38:50,794
OH, THAT'S A REALLY
NICE THING TO SAY
799
00:38:50,796 --> 00:38:53,530
TO A RECOVERING SEX ADDICT.
800
00:38:53,532 --> 00:38:55,332
COULD YOU NOT BE SO
ANNOYING RIGHT NOW--
801
00:38:55,334 --> 00:38:56,800
YOU STOP BEING SO ANNOYING!
802
00:38:56,802 --> 00:38:59,336
STOP IT! STOP.
803
00:38:59,338 --> 00:39:00,370
YOU WANT TO GET TITTY FUCKED?
804
00:39:00,372 --> 00:39:01,838
I'LL TITTY FUCK YOU!
805
00:39:01,840 --> 00:39:03,606
- TITTY FUCK THIS!
- NO! OKAY! YOU'RE GOING DOWN.
806
00:39:03,608 --> 00:39:06,042
- OH, MY GOD. OW!
- YEAH.
807
00:39:06,044 --> 00:39:07,877
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
GET OFF ME!
808
00:39:07,879 --> 00:39:10,013
- NO, IT'S MY TURN TO HURT YOU.
- WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU?
809
00:39:10,015 --> 00:39:11,981
WE WOULDN'T BE HERE
IF IT WASN'T FOR YOU.
810
00:39:11,983 --> 00:39:13,850
OH, SURE. BLAME ME
FOR EVERYTHING
WHILE YOU'RE AT IT.
811
00:39:13,852 --> 00:39:15,919
BLAME ME FOR MOM DYING
OF CANCER AND DAD
812
00:39:15,921 --> 00:39:18,088
DRINKING HIMSELF
TO DEATH. OW!
813
00:39:18,090 --> 00:39:19,989
I ALREADY DO!
814
00:39:26,497 --> 00:39:28,131
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
815
00:39:28,133 --> 00:39:30,834
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
816
00:39:30,836 --> 00:39:32,869
WE STILL HAVE A ROTTING CORPSE
TO DEAL WITH.
817
00:39:32,871 --> 00:39:34,704
YOU KNOW WHAT?
818
00:39:34,706 --> 00:39:37,374
JUST TURN ME IN
BECAUSE I DON'T GIVE
A SHIT ANYMORE.
819
00:39:37,376 --> 00:39:39,409
FUCK!
820
00:40:13,110 --> 00:40:14,744
GIVE ME ONE OF THOSE.
821
00:40:16,714 --> 00:40:17,914
YOU'RE WELCOME.
822
00:40:17,916 --> 00:40:19,949
AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY
THANK YOU?
823
00:40:19,951 --> 00:40:21,785
MOST PEOPLE WOULD.
824
00:40:21,787 --> 00:40:25,922
FROM WHAT YOUR SISTER SAYS,
YOU'RE NOT MOST PEOPLE.
825
00:40:25,924 --> 00:40:28,124
WELL, MARTHA NEEDS
TO LEARN HER
FUCKING MOUTH SHUT.
826
00:40:28,126 --> 00:40:29,826
WHOA! WHOA!
827
00:40:29,828 --> 00:40:31,161
LANGUAGE.
828
00:40:32,463 --> 00:40:35,532
LOOK,
I KNOW IT CAN BE DIFFICULT,
829
00:40:35,534 --> 00:40:39,569
BUT, YOU KNOW,
YOUR SISTER'S PULLING FOR YOU.
830
00:40:39,571 --> 00:40:40,770
SHE'S A GOOD PERSON.
831
00:40:40,772 --> 00:40:41,938
HOW DO YOU KNOW?
832
00:40:41,940 --> 00:40:43,540
SHE HELPED ME QUIT
SMOKING WEED.
833
00:40:43,542 --> 00:40:45,608
IT DOESN'T LOOK
LIKE SHE WAS VERY HELPFUL.
834
00:40:48,446 --> 00:40:50,013
I USED TO SMOKE WEED
LIKE ALL THE TIME.
835
00:40:50,015 --> 00:40:51,181
I NEVER GET ANY WRITING DONE.
836
00:40:51,183 --> 00:40:54,083
NOW I JUST SMOKE
BEFORE AND AFTER WORK,
837
00:40:54,085 --> 00:40:56,085
AND I GET STUFF DONE.
838
00:40:56,087 --> 00:41:00,023
IN REHAB WE HAD MORE
OF AN ALL-OR-NOTHING APPROACH
839
00:41:00,025 --> 00:41:03,226
WITH A LITTLE BIT
OF HIGHER POWERS
840
00:41:03,228 --> 00:41:06,162
SURRENDER YOURSELF
BULLSHIT PEPPERED IN.
841
00:41:06,164 --> 00:41:07,764
DOES IT WORK?
842
00:41:07,766 --> 00:41:09,799
IT SEEMS TO IF YOU BELIEVE
YOU HAVE A PROBLEM.
843
00:41:12,570 --> 00:41:14,604
SO WHAT DO YOU WRITE?
844
00:41:15,773 --> 00:41:19,108
UH...I WRITE POETRY.
845
00:41:19,110 --> 00:41:21,044
REALLY?
846
00:41:21,046 --> 00:41:23,513
SO YOU'RE ALL DEEP AND SHIT?
847
00:41:23,515 --> 00:41:25,782
I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE.
848
00:41:25,784 --> 00:41:28,785
WELL, LET'S HEAR ONE.
849
00:41:28,787 --> 00:41:30,053
FRESNO.
850
00:41:30,055 --> 00:41:31,688
I DON'T LIKE IT ALREADY.
851
00:41:35,159 --> 00:41:36,893
FRESNO.
852
00:41:36,895 --> 00:41:40,163
LORD, WHY IS IT SO HOT?
853
00:41:40,165 --> 00:41:42,131
DID YOU MEAN FOR IT
TO BE THIS HOT?
854
00:41:42,133 --> 00:41:44,834
OR DID YOU LEAVE THE HOUSE
IN A HURRY AND FRESNO
855
00:41:44,836 --> 00:41:47,036
WAS THE OVEN YOU FORGET
TO TURN OFF?
856
00:41:47,038 --> 00:41:48,538
FRESNO.
857
00:41:48,540 --> 00:41:51,140
YES, THAT SMELL IS DEAD ANIMAL.
858
00:41:51,142 --> 00:41:53,276
DO YOU LIKE IT?
859
00:41:53,278 --> 00:41:54,944
FRESNO.
860
00:41:54,946 --> 00:41:59,082
WHERE IS STUFF,
LIKE, ANYTHING?
861
00:41:59,084 --> 00:42:03,520
FRESNO, WHERE THE BEST JOB
I COULD GET IS THE WORSE JOB
862
00:42:03,522 --> 00:42:05,121
I'VE EVER HAD.
863
00:42:05,123 --> 00:42:08,057
NO, HOTEL GUEST, I CANNOT
TELL YOU WHERE ANYTHING IS.
864
00:42:08,059 --> 00:42:13,229
IF KNEW WHERE ANYTHING ELSE WAS,
I'D BE THERE.
865
00:42:13,231 --> 00:42:15,131
FRESNO.
866
00:42:22,239 --> 00:42:25,909
COME ON!
867
00:42:25,911 --> 00:42:28,578
COME ON, MARTHA.
MY DEAD GRANDMA COULD
KICK HARDER THAN YOU.
868
00:42:36,854 --> 00:42:37,887
THERE WE GO!
869
00:42:37,889 --> 00:42:39,789
COME ON!
870
00:42:42,593 --> 00:42:47,130
SO, LIKE SANDS
THROUGH THE HOURGLASS,
871
00:42:47,132 --> 00:42:50,567
SO ARE THE DAYS OF OUR LIVES.
872
00:42:50,569 --> 00:42:52,302
THAT'S PLAGIARISM.
873
00:42:52,304 --> 00:42:53,636
I LITERALLY WROTE THAT.
874
00:42:53,638 --> 00:42:54,971
WHETHER YOU
BELIEVE IT OR NOT.
875
00:42:54,973 --> 00:42:56,873
- I THINK SO.
- THAT'S SO LAME.
876
00:42:56,875 --> 00:42:58,141
THAT'S PARTIALLY.
877
00:42:58,143 --> 00:43:00,043
I THINK YOU DON'T KNOW
ENOUGH ABOUT PROSE
878
00:43:00,045 --> 00:43:01,811
TO REALLY GIVE ME
AN ACCURATE CRITIQUE.
879
00:43:01,813 --> 00:43:03,313
I KNOW ABOUT PROS. I KNOW
ABOUT PRO BASEBALL PLAYERS.
880
00:43:03,315 --> 00:43:05,949
I KNOW ABOUT PRO BASKETBALL
PLAYERS. I KNOW ABOUT--
881
00:43:05,951 --> 00:43:08,651
I'M OFF WORK, LIKE NOW.
882
00:43:08,653 --> 00:43:11,287
DO YOU WANT
TO GO DO SOMETHING?
883
00:43:11,289 --> 00:43:12,755
I DO.
884
00:43:12,757 --> 00:43:14,157
OKAY, EVERYONE
IN A CIRCLE.
885
00:43:14,159 --> 00:43:16,693
YES. FASTER, FASTER,
FASTER, FASTER!
886
00:43:22,266 --> 00:43:24,968
KRAV MAGA. WE HAVE ONE RULE,
ONE RULE ONLY.
887
00:43:24,970 --> 00:43:26,803
NEVER STOP FIGHTING!
888
00:43:33,277 --> 00:43:35,011
- HIYAH.
- HIYAH.
889
00:43:35,013 --> 00:43:39,849
THANK YOU. BRYAN EMAIL ME,
WEDNESDAY ABOUT PRIVATES.
890
00:43:39,851 --> 00:43:41,351
WE'LL WORK IT OUT.
891
00:43:41,353 --> 00:43:43,252
- OKAY.
- COOL.
892
00:43:44,888 --> 00:43:46,823
HOW LONG HAS ALICIA
BEEN WITH THAT DUDE?
893
00:43:46,825 --> 00:43:47,991
I DON'T KNOW.
894
00:43:47,993 --> 00:43:51,127
I DON'T REALLY TALK TO THEM.
895
00:43:51,129 --> 00:43:52,762
YOU WERE AT
THAT SOFTBALL THING.
896
00:43:52,764 --> 00:43:54,263
OH YEAH. OH, I DIDN'T
WANT TO INTERRUPT.
897
00:43:54,265 --> 00:43:56,099
YOU THERE WITH YOUR DATE.
898
00:43:56,101 --> 00:43:59,235
YEAH.
TANYA IS JUST A FRIEND.
899
00:43:59,237 --> 00:44:00,703
SEE YOU TOMORROW.
900
00:44:00,705 --> 00:44:02,672
- YUP.
- HE'S THE WORST.
901
00:44:02,674 --> 00:44:04,941
TOMORROW?
WHAT'S TOMORROW?
902
00:44:04,943 --> 00:44:06,643
OH, MY GOD, PLEASE TELL ME
903
00:44:06,645 --> 00:44:08,411
YOU ARE GOING TO NOAH'S
BAR MITZVAH TOMORROW NIGHT?
904
00:44:08,413 --> 00:44:10,913
I ACTUALLY WASN'T
EVEN INVITED.
905
00:44:10,915 --> 00:44:12,715
WELL, LUCKY YOU.
906
00:44:12,717 --> 00:44:17,654
NOAH'S PARENTS PAY FOR
PRIVATES SO I HAVE TO GO.
907
00:44:17,656 --> 00:44:19,288
AND YOU HAVE TO COME
WITH ME.
908
00:44:19,290 --> 00:44:21,224
LIKE AS YOUR FAKE DATE?
909
00:44:21,226 --> 00:44:23,926
NO, AS A REAL DATE.
910
00:44:23,928 --> 00:44:25,828
IS THAT A YES?
911
00:44:30,034 --> 00:44:31,367
WHOA! WHOA.
912
00:44:31,369 --> 00:44:34,804
- WHAT?
- LET'S-- DO YOU WANT TO--
913
00:44:34,806 --> 00:44:36,305
- LET'S--
- LET'S GO TO THE DESK.
914
00:44:36,307 --> 00:44:38,374
NO, THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEAN.
915
00:44:38,376 --> 00:44:40,143
CAN WE JUST SLOW DOWN
A LITTLE BIT.
916
00:44:40,145 --> 00:44:42,378
- WHAT?
- PLEASE, CAN WE JUST SLOW DOWN?
917
00:44:42,380 --> 00:44:45,748
ARE YOU... WHAT,
TELL ME YOU'RE NOT GAY?
918
00:44:45,750 --> 00:44:47,417
NO. I MEAN, NO.
I MEAN, NO.
919
00:44:47,419 --> 00:44:50,186
LET'S TALK. JUST TALK, OKAY?
920
00:44:50,188 --> 00:44:52,155
OH GOD, YOU ARE GAY.
921
00:44:52,157 --> 00:44:53,723
NO. MY GOD.
922
00:44:56,393 --> 00:44:57,760
I DON'T KNOW
WHY I'M TELLING YOU THIS,
923
00:44:57,762 --> 00:45:01,764
BUT-- JESUS...
924
00:45:01,766 --> 00:45:03,733
I HAVEN'T SLEPT WITH ANYONE
925
00:45:03,735 --> 00:45:05,168
SINCE ME AND
GIRLFRIEND BROKE UP A
COUPLE OF MONTHS AGO.
926
00:45:05,170 --> 00:45:06,335
SERIOUSLY?
927
00:45:06,337 --> 00:45:07,804
YEAH.
928
00:45:07,806 --> 00:45:08,871
DO YOU, LIKE,
NOT LIKE CONDOMS OR SOMETHING?
929
00:45:08,873 --> 00:45:10,139
NO.
930
00:45:10,141 --> 00:45:11,240
DO YOU WANT A DRINK?
I'M GOING TO HAVE--
931
00:45:11,242 --> 00:45:12,275
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
932
00:45:12,277 --> 00:45:13,743
WHAT THE FUCK!
933
00:45:13,745 --> 00:45:15,144
OH, MY GOD.
MARTHA, WOULD BE SO PISSED.
934
00:45:15,146 --> 00:45:17,080
DO YOU WANT TO GO BACK
TO REHAB?
935
00:45:17,082 --> 00:45:20,183
I'M A SEX ADDICT,
NOT AN ALCOHOLIC, ASSHOLE.
936
00:45:20,185 --> 00:45:22,385
- REALLY?
- YEAH, REALLY.
937
00:45:22,387 --> 00:45:25,088
I DON'T-- THAT'S A THING?
938
00:45:25,090 --> 00:45:27,323
I THOUGHT THAT WAS MADE UP
BY TIGER WOODS OR SOMETHING.
939
00:45:27,325 --> 00:45:29,392
DON'T BE A DUMBASS.
940
00:45:29,394 --> 00:45:31,127
OKAY. WELL--
941
00:45:31,129 --> 00:45:33,196
WAIT, JUST WAIT.
942
00:45:33,198 --> 00:45:36,833
THE THINGS IS THAT'S I'M REALLY
TRYING TO MANAGE MY ADDICTION,
943
00:45:36,835 --> 00:45:38,367
JUST LIKE YOU ARE,
944
00:45:38,369 --> 00:45:41,404
SO WILL YOU JUST TOUCH MY BOOB
JUST FOR ONE MINUTE, PLEASE?
945
00:45:41,406 --> 00:45:43,306
I DON'T--
I JUST FEEL LIKE MAYBE--
946
00:45:49,747 --> 00:45:52,882
WHAT THE FUCK?
947
00:45:52,884 --> 00:45:54,484
WE WERE JUST
ABOUT TO WATCH A MOVIE.
948
00:46:02,326 --> 00:46:04,994
I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU BROUGHT HIM IN HERE,
SHANNON.
949
00:46:04,996 --> 00:46:06,996
HE DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING.
950
00:46:06,998 --> 00:46:09,365
YEAH, HE'S A GOOD GUY.
HE DESERVES BETTER.
951
00:46:09,367 --> 00:46:10,500
NO OFFENSE.
952
00:46:10,502 --> 00:46:12,201
GO TO SLEEP.
953
00:46:12,203 --> 00:46:13,402
I CAN'T SLEEP.
954
00:46:16,073 --> 00:46:17,874
KELLY INVITED ME
TO A BAR MITZVAH
TOMORROW NIGHT
955
00:46:17,876 --> 00:46:21,277
AND IT'S FREAKING ME OUT.
956
00:46:21,279 --> 00:46:23,513
I'M GLAD YOU'RE THINKING
ABOUT CHICKS INSTEAD
957
00:46:23,515 --> 00:46:25,848
OF OUR SHIT ASS PREDICAMENT.
958
00:46:25,850 --> 00:46:28,284
THE BAR MITZVAH
IS IN THIS HOTEL
TOMORROW NIGHT.
959
00:46:28,286 --> 00:46:30,219
SO?
960
00:46:30,221 --> 00:46:32,355
SO KIDS MAKE
A LOT OF MONEY
AT THESE THINGS, SHANNON.
961
00:46:35,359 --> 00:46:36,859
THAT'S GENIUS.
962
00:46:36,861 --> 00:46:38,027
YEAH, IT IS.
963
00:46:38,029 --> 00:46:39,495
YOU WANT
TO JACK THE BAR MITZVAH?
964
00:46:42,032 --> 00:46:43,533
WHAT DO WE DO?
965
00:46:43,535 --> 00:46:45,301
OKAY, LOOK.
966
00:46:45,303 --> 00:46:49,472
I'LL JUST GO WITH KELLY
AND THEN YOU CAN CRASH IT.
967
00:46:49,474 --> 00:46:52,375
NO. I CAN'T GO ALONE.
968
00:46:52,377 --> 00:46:54,010
I'LL BRING ERIC.
969
00:46:54,012 --> 00:46:55,945
OKAY. YOU CAN'T
TELL HIM ANYTHING.
970
00:46:55,947 --> 00:46:57,513
I'LL GET HIM TO HELP US.
I WON'T TELL HIM ANYTHING.
971
00:46:57,515 --> 00:47:00,082
I'LL JUST MAKE SOMETHING UP.
972
00:47:00,084 --> 00:47:02,852
I KNOW HE'LL DO IT.
HE'S SO INTO ME.
973
00:47:06,423 --> 00:47:07,523
JUST GO TO BED.
974
00:47:09,893 --> 00:47:13,029
JERRY, I HAVE SOME GUESTS LOCKED OUT OF ROOM 402
975
00:47:13,031 --> 00:47:15,064
AND I'M GETTING NO RESPONSE
FROM HOUSEKEEPING.
976
00:47:27,477 --> 00:47:31,247
OH, SHIT. OH, SHIT.
977
00:47:31,249 --> 00:47:32,915
SHAN, WAKE UP. SHAN.
978
00:47:32,917 --> 00:47:35,518
- PLEASE, STOP IT.
- SHAN. SHAN, IT'S JERRY.
979
00:47:35,520 --> 00:47:38,621
- WHAT IS IT?
- OH GOD, THIS REALLY SUCKS.
980
00:47:38,623 --> 00:47:43,226
- SHIT.
- OKAY, OKAY.
981
00:47:43,228 --> 00:47:45,328
OKAY, LISTEN.
982
00:47:45,330 --> 00:47:47,230
I'LL DEAL WITH JERRY.
983
00:47:47,232 --> 00:47:48,631
YOU GO HOME
AND GET THE STUFF, OKAY?
984
00:47:48,633 --> 00:47:50,299
OKAY.
985
00:47:50,301 --> 00:47:51,400
YOU GOT TO GET THE DRESSES
FOR THE BAR MITZVAH.
986
00:47:51,402 --> 00:47:53,202
WHAT ABOUT THE DEAD GUY?
987
00:47:53,204 --> 00:47:55,238
JUST MAKE SURE
YOU KEEP FRESH ICE
ON HIM, OKAY?
988
00:47:55,240 --> 00:47:56,572
OKAY.
989
00:47:56,574 --> 00:47:58,074
OKAY. COME ON.
990
00:47:58,076 --> 00:48:00,309
- WAKE UP.
- DON'T DO THAT.
991
00:48:00,311 --> 00:48:01,978
IT'S A BIG DAY, SHAN.
992
00:48:01,980 --> 00:48:04,046
I KNOW. I'M SO NERVOUS.
993
00:48:15,292 --> 00:48:16,659
HELLO?
994
00:48:16,661 --> 00:48:18,060
IT'S ME.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
995
00:48:18,062 --> 00:48:20,029
- I'M WORKING.
- OKAY.
996
00:48:20,031 --> 00:48:21,163
WELL, MARTHA'S NOT HERE
AND HOME ALONE
997
00:48:21,165 --> 00:48:23,199
SO CAN YOU COME
OVER AND FUCK ME?
998
00:48:23,201 --> 00:48:26,602
SO, NOW THAT LIKE
I'VE TOLD TOTALLY
FUCKED UP MY MARRIAGE,
999
00:48:26,604 --> 00:48:28,070
NOW YOU WANT BACK IN?
1000
00:48:28,072 --> 00:48:30,139
NO, NO, NO, NO. I JUST--
NO. NO. I--
1001
00:48:30,141 --> 00:48:32,174
OR ARE YOU JUST FUCKING
SOMEONE ELSE NOW?
1002
00:48:32,176 --> 00:48:34,143
NO, NO BABY.
THAT'S NOT IT AT ALL.
1003
00:48:34,145 --> 00:48:36,345
I'M JUST-- I'M ALONE NOW
AND THIS IS A PERFECT TIME.
1004
00:48:36,347 --> 00:48:38,314
BECAUSE I KNOW THAT YOU
ALWAYS DO THIS.
1005
00:48:38,316 --> 00:48:40,116
DO WHAT?
1006
00:48:40,118 --> 00:48:41,984
COME GROVELING BACK AS SOON
AS YOU'RE SEEING SOMEBODY NEW.
1007
00:48:41,986 --> 00:48:44,086
BABY, LISTEN TO ME.
LISTEN RIGHT NOW.
I DON'T WANT--
1008
00:48:44,088 --> 00:48:47,356
YOU NEED TO START FACING
YOUR FEARS AND YOUR FEELINGS.
1009
00:48:47,358 --> 00:48:48,991
YOU'RE JUST GOING
TO KEEP HURTING YOURSELF
1010
00:48:48,993 --> 00:48:50,359
AND EVERYBODY AROUND YOU.
1011
00:48:50,361 --> 00:48:52,295
WELL, THAT'S THE LONG WAY
TO SAY NO.
1012
00:48:52,297 --> 00:48:53,462
SHAN, I HAVE TO GO.
1013
00:48:56,166 --> 00:48:58,034
OW!
- IT'S GOING TO LOOK GOOD.
1014
00:48:58,036 --> 00:48:59,936
I'M GOING TO GET IT
NICE AND STRAIGHT.
1015
00:48:59,938 --> 00:49:01,137
OW!
1016
00:49:01,139 --> 00:49:02,138
STOP YELLING.
1017
00:49:02,140 --> 00:49:03,539
IT DOESN'T HURT.
1018
00:49:03,541 --> 00:49:05,508
SORRY, I GUESS
I'M JUST NERVOUS.
1019
00:49:05,510 --> 00:49:07,076
ABOUT THE BAR MITZVAH?
1020
00:49:07,078 --> 00:49:08,477
ERIC'S GOING TO HELP US.
1021
00:49:13,016 --> 00:49:14,150
THINK YOU'VE EVER
BEEN IN LOVE?
1022
00:49:14,152 --> 00:49:16,585
I'M NOT GOOD WITH EMOTIONS.
1023
00:49:16,587 --> 00:49:18,654
AS SOON AS I START
TO GET CLOSE TO SOMEONE,
1024
00:49:18,656 --> 00:49:20,489
I JUST-- I FEEL CROWDED
1025
00:49:20,491 --> 00:49:22,258
AND I'M NOT ATTRACTED
TO THEM ANYMORE.
1026
00:49:22,260 --> 00:49:23,993
HOW MANY GUYS YOU THINK
YOU'VE BEEN WITH?
1027
00:49:26,496 --> 00:49:29,165
- I DON'T KNOW.
- LIKE A BALL PARK.
1028
00:49:29,167 --> 00:49:30,533
LIKE A HUNDRED?
1029
00:49:30,535 --> 00:49:32,501
100 DICKS?
1030
00:49:32,503 --> 00:49:36,005
STUPID THING IS MOST
OF THE TIME I DON'T
EVEN LIKE THE SEX.
1031
00:49:36,007 --> 00:49:37,406
THEN WHY DO YOU DO IT?
1032
00:49:37,408 --> 00:49:39,241
I DON'T KNOW.
LIKE THE PAIN OF DOING IT
1033
00:49:39,243 --> 00:49:43,679
IS NOT AS BAD AS
THE EMPTINESS
OF NOT DOING IT.
1034
00:49:43,681 --> 00:49:45,047
DOES THAT MAKE SENSE?
1035
00:49:48,151 --> 00:49:49,251
MARTHA.
1036
00:49:49,253 --> 00:49:52,021
YEAH.
1037
00:49:52,023 --> 00:49:54,690
I WAS A 100% WRONG
ABOUT YOUR HAIR.
1038
00:49:54,692 --> 00:49:57,193
- WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
- IT'S NOT GOOD.
1039
00:49:59,529 --> 00:50:00,696
DO COUSIN IT.
1040
00:50:00,698 --> 00:50:02,398
NO, SHAN,
I'M NOT GOING TO DO IT.
1041
00:50:02,400 --> 00:50:04,600
- YES, YOU ARE.
- SHANNON, I'M NOT DOING IT.
1042
00:50:04,602 --> 00:50:10,072
DO I LOOK PRETTY FOR
THE BAR MITZVAH PARTY?
1043
00:50:22,652 --> 00:50:26,322
HEY, IF TONIGHT DOESN'T
GO TOO LATE MAYBE YOU COULD
1044
00:50:26,324 --> 00:50:28,124
COME OVER AND, I DON'T KNOW,
1045
00:50:28,126 --> 00:50:30,126
WATCH "NAKED AND AFRAID"
WITH ME OR--
1046
00:50:30,128 --> 00:50:31,527
YEAH, MAYBE.
WE'LL SEE HOW IT GOES.
1047
00:50:31,529 --> 00:50:34,330
HEY, LADIES,
IT'S DOPEY KING.
1048
00:50:34,332 --> 00:50:35,598
YEAH, OF COURSE.
1049
00:50:35,600 --> 00:50:38,300
GOT YOU SOMETHING, SIR.
1050
00:50:38,302 --> 00:50:40,102
OH, THANKS. THAT'S SWEET.
1051
00:50:40,104 --> 00:50:42,104
I'LL PUT IT IN MY MONEY BOX
OVER THERE.
1052
00:50:42,106 --> 00:50:43,272
IT'S CASH ONLY.
1053
00:50:43,274 --> 00:50:45,141
YEAH, WE HEARD.
1054
00:50:45,143 --> 00:50:47,743
YEAH.
IT'S ACTUALLY COUPONS
FOR FREE PRIVATES.
1055
00:50:47,745 --> 00:50:49,745
PRIVATES? YOU HITTING
ON ME BOO?
1056
00:50:49,747 --> 00:50:51,080
I'M A MAN NOW,
SO IT'S COPASETIC.
1057
00:50:51,082 --> 00:50:53,082
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
1058
00:50:53,084 --> 00:50:54,316
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
TAKE IT EASY, NOT IN
FRONT OF MY DATE.
1059
00:50:54,318 --> 00:50:55,384
DON'T TALK TO KELLY
LIKE THAT.
1060
00:50:55,386 --> 00:50:57,086
IT'S REALLY RUDE, NOAH.
1061
00:50:57,088 --> 00:50:59,288
DO YOU THINK YOU GUYS CAN MAKE
OUT ON MY NEXT MUSIC VIDEO?
1062
00:50:59,290 --> 00:51:02,458
GOOGLE GLORIA STEINEM
AND THEN ASK US.
1063
00:51:02,460 --> 00:51:04,326
SO HOW LONG WILL
THESE THINGS LAST?
1064
00:51:04,328 --> 00:51:06,796
ABOUT AS LONG AS
A WEDDING RECEPTION, YOU KNOW.
1065
00:51:06,798 --> 00:51:08,697
- REALLY?
- YEAH.
1066
00:51:08,699 --> 00:51:10,232
I DON'T REALLY KNOW
HOW LONG THAT IS
1067
00:51:10,234 --> 00:51:11,634
BECAUSE I'VE NEVER BEEN
TO A WEDDING.
1068
00:51:11,636 --> 00:51:13,836
REALLY?
1069
00:51:13,838 --> 00:51:16,772
I WENT TO ONE,
BUT IT DOESN'T REALLY
COUNT BECAUSE WE ELOPED.
1070
00:51:16,774 --> 00:51:18,240
YOU'RE MARRIED?
1071
00:51:18,242 --> 00:51:21,077
YEAH. WHAT?
1072
00:51:21,079 --> 00:51:22,244
I CAN BE MARRIED.
1073
00:51:22,246 --> 00:51:24,080
I TOTALLY GOT MARRIED.
1074
00:51:24,082 --> 00:51:27,083
AND NINE DAYS LATER I CHEATED
ON HIM AND WE GOT DIVORCED.
1075
00:51:27,085 --> 00:51:31,520
SUPER ROMANTIC LIKE I SAID,
LIKE A FAIRYTALE ACTUALLY.
1076
00:51:31,522 --> 00:51:33,589
I'D READ IT
COVER TO COVER.
1077
00:51:33,591 --> 00:51:35,825
I'M THINKING OF PITCHING IT
AS A CHILDREN'S BOOK.
1078
00:51:35,827 --> 00:51:37,560
- OH, YOU SHOULD.
- OR Y.A.
1079
00:51:37,562 --> 00:51:38,561
THAT'S PROBABLY
THE BETTER CHOICE.
1080
00:51:38,563 --> 00:51:40,596
YEAH.
1081
00:51:48,338 --> 00:51:50,706
Y'ALL READY FOR THIS?
1082
00:51:50,708 --> 00:51:52,141
I'M 13 NOW.
1083
00:51:52,143 --> 00:51:55,244
WHOO!
1084
00:51:55,246 --> 00:51:56,779
I WANT TO THANK MY DAD,
1085
00:51:56,781 --> 00:51:59,482
I WANT TO THANK MY MOM,
AND I WANT TO THANK MY BUBBY.
1086
00:51:59,484 --> 00:52:01,350
OKAY, LET'S DO THIS.
1087
00:52:01,352 --> 00:52:03,285
COME ON BOYS. CASH MONEY TOUR.
1088
00:52:03,287 --> 00:52:04,620
THAT'S IT, NOAH.
1089
00:52:04,622 --> 00:52:06,255
WELCOME TO MY MITZVAH!
1090
00:52:46,264 --> 00:52:47,429
THAT IS ENOUGH.
1091
00:52:47,431 --> 00:52:48,831
THAT IS ENOUGH. HEY.
1092
00:52:48,833 --> 00:52:51,333
- QUITE ENOUGH!
- I WAS IN THE DANCE, NOAH!
1093
00:52:51,335 --> 00:52:52,868
THANK YOU FOR COMING.
1094
00:52:52,870 --> 00:52:55,437
WHY DOESN'T EVERYONE
GET ON THE DANCE FLOOR?
1095
00:52:55,439 --> 00:52:57,506
LET'S DANCE
TO SOME APPROPRIATE MUSIC.
1096
00:52:57,508 --> 00:52:59,308
YOU'RE SHAMING
YOURSELF.
1097
00:52:59,310 --> 00:53:01,677
I THOUGHT THAT WAS GOING
TO BE BRUNO MARS. GET OVER HERE.
1098
00:53:01,679 --> 00:53:04,547
YOU KNOW WHAT,
NOW WE GOTTA DANCE.
1099
00:53:04,549 --> 00:53:06,248
I DON'T DANCE.
1100
00:53:06,250 --> 00:53:07,449
I THINK WE DO.
IT'S A PART OF THE DEAL.
1101
00:53:07,451 --> 00:53:08,851
- I DON'T DANCE.
- COME ON.
1102
00:53:08,853 --> 00:53:10,953
I'VE NEVER, NEVER--
1103
00:53:15,626 --> 00:53:17,660
ALL RIGHT.
BRING IT IN. BRING IT IN.
1104
00:53:26,836 --> 00:53:29,672
YOU HAVE A REALLY CUTE ASS.
1105
00:53:29,674 --> 00:53:31,373
IT'S DISTRACTING.
1106
00:53:31,375 --> 00:53:35,611
STOP. IT'S A BAR MITZVAH.
THERE'S KIDS AROUND.
1107
00:53:35,613 --> 00:53:38,547
I'M SERIOUS.
IT'S DISTRACTING.
1108
00:53:38,549 --> 00:53:39,782
MY ASS?
1109
00:53:39,784 --> 00:53:42,618
- YES.
- OH, SURE.
1110
00:53:42,620 --> 00:53:44,987
IT'S 'CAUSE YOU WORK
ME OUT SO GOOD.
1111
00:54:00,303 --> 00:54:03,539
HEY, MAYBE
WE SHOULD TAKE
A BREATHER.
1112
00:54:03,541 --> 00:54:05,708
- OKAY.
- GET A DRINK OR SOMETHING?
1113
00:54:09,479 --> 00:54:11,647
I'M GOING TO USE
THE LADIES ROOM.
DON'T GO ANYWHERE.
1114
00:54:11,649 --> 00:54:12,681
UH-UH.
1115
00:54:13,817 --> 00:54:15,651
I, LIKE, REALLY LIKE YOU.
1116
00:54:18,355 --> 00:54:20,022
AND SINCE YOU WON'T TELL ME
1117
00:54:20,024 --> 00:54:21,390
WHY YOU'RE BEING BLACKMAILED
I THINK IT'S ONLY FAIR
1118
00:54:21,392 --> 00:54:23,292
I GET TO DO THIS.
1119
00:54:35,405 --> 00:54:38,007
EXCUSE ME.
IT'S TIME TO STRAP
ON THE FEEDBAGS.
1120
00:54:38,009 --> 00:54:39,975
DINNER WILL BE
IN ABOUT FIVE MINUTES
1121
00:54:39,977 --> 00:54:43,545
IF OUR VERY EXPENSIVE CATERING
COMPANY WOULD JUST DO THEIR JOB.
1122
00:54:44,547 --> 00:54:46,482
GOOD LUCK.
1123
00:54:50,553 --> 00:54:52,988
OKAY, ALRIGHT.
READY?
1124
00:54:52,990 --> 00:54:54,857
- YEAH, YEAH.
- OKAY.
1125
00:54:54,859 --> 00:54:56,358
SO?
1126
00:54:56,360 --> 00:54:59,795
SO, YOU GUYS LOOK
PRETTY CUTE TOGETHER.
1127
00:54:59,797 --> 00:55:01,930
YESTERDAY, YOU WERE PISSED
BECAUSE I WAS ALONE WITH HIM
1128
00:55:01,932 --> 00:55:03,032
AND NOW YOU WANT
US TO GET MARRIED.
1129
00:55:03,034 --> 00:55:04,366
NO, SHAN,
THIS IS DIFFERENT.
1130
00:55:04,368 --> 00:55:07,336
HE REALLY LIKES YOU.
I CAN TELL.
1131
00:55:07,338 --> 00:55:10,572
I KNOW. I THINK
I SHOULD JUST FUCK HIM
AND GET IT OVER WITH.
1132
00:55:10,574 --> 00:55:12,541
WILL YOU NOT SAY
THAT KIND OF SHIT
ALL THE TIME?
1133
00:55:15,779 --> 00:55:17,680
OKAY. ERIC'S IN POSITION.
1134
00:55:22,552 --> 00:55:24,453
OKAY, GOT IT.
1135
00:55:38,768 --> 00:55:39,902
ARE YOU OKAY THERE?
1136
00:55:39,904 --> 00:55:40,969
AHH!
1137
00:55:40,971 --> 00:55:42,571
A WOMAN IS CHOKING HERE!
1138
00:55:42,573 --> 00:55:44,740
- OH MY GOD!
- SOMEONE HELP HER, PLEASE!
1139
00:55:44,742 --> 00:55:46,408
IS ANYONE HERE A DOCTOR?
1140
00:55:46,410 --> 00:55:47,443
I'M A DOCTOR!
1141
00:55:47,445 --> 00:55:48,677
I GOT IT.
1142
00:55:50,347 --> 00:55:51,814
EVERYBODY BACK, NOAH.
1143
00:55:51,816 --> 00:55:53,549
SON, TELL ME ABOUT
1144
00:55:53,551 --> 00:55:56,352
NO, IT'S FUCKING DISGUSTING.
1145
00:55:56,354 --> 00:55:57,686
JUST COUGH IT UP,
COUGH IT UP.
1146
00:55:57,688 --> 00:55:59,455
OKAY.
1147
00:55:59,457 --> 00:56:01,090
- I GOT IT.
- JUST COUGH IT UP.
COUGH IT UP.
1148
00:56:01,092 --> 00:56:02,124
DO YOU SEE ANYTHING?
1149
00:56:02,126 --> 00:56:04,460
- NO.
- HEAVE, HO.
1150
00:56:04,462 --> 00:56:07,096
EWW, THESE ARE NEW SHOES.
1151
00:56:07,098 --> 00:56:08,697
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
IS IT ALL OUT?
1152
00:56:08,699 --> 00:56:12,134
- UH-HUH.
- OKAY, OH...
1153
00:56:12,136 --> 00:56:14,069
- THANK YOU.
- OH, YOU'RE WELCOME.
1154
00:56:14,071 --> 00:56:15,437
UH-OH. UH-OH.
1155
00:56:15,439 --> 00:56:17,072
- GO.
- ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
1156
00:56:17,074 --> 00:56:19,575
I THINK IT'S A SEIZURE.
1157
00:56:19,577 --> 00:56:20,809
I THINK IT'S A SEIZURE.
1158
00:56:20,811 --> 00:56:22,511
EVERYONE GET BACK,
GET BACK.
1159
00:56:22,513 --> 00:56:23,979
NOBODY PANIC, NOBODY PANIC.
1160
00:56:23,981 --> 00:56:25,147
SHE'S GOING TO BE FINE.
WATCH HER ARMS.
1161
00:56:25,149 --> 00:56:26,715
SHE'S SLAPPING--
1162
00:56:26,717 --> 00:56:27,716
GIVE HER SOME AIR!
JUST STEP BACK!
1163
00:56:27,718 --> 00:56:30,052
COME ON, DAD!
1164
00:56:30,054 --> 00:56:31,720
NOAH, DIRECT THE TRAFFIC.
1165
00:56:31,722 --> 00:56:33,622
DO SOMETHING, NOAH! JUST--
1166
00:56:33,624 --> 00:56:34,823
CALM DOWN.
1167
00:56:34,825 --> 00:56:37,559
IT WILL STOP.
JUST LET HER BE CALM.
1168
00:56:37,561 --> 00:56:38,594
WHOA, WHOA.
NO, JUST CALM DOWN.
1169
00:56:38,596 --> 00:56:40,129
DON'T HURT YOURSELF.
1170
00:56:40,131 --> 00:56:41,730
LET HER BE CALM.
1171
00:56:41,732 --> 00:56:45,033
WHOA! WHOA! OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.
JUST VOMIT.
1172
00:56:45,035 --> 00:56:46,835
OKAY, EVERYBODY BACK. CALM DOWN.
1173
00:56:50,874 --> 00:56:52,408
OH, PEANUT.
1174
00:56:52,410 --> 00:56:53,976
THAT IS REALLY
A BAD THING THESE DAYS.
1175
00:56:53,978 --> 00:56:55,010
THERE'S PEANUTS
IN EVERYTHING.
1176
00:56:55,012 --> 00:56:56,612
ALL RIGHT.
1177
00:56:56,614 --> 00:56:58,480
GIVE IT UP FOR THIS GUY.
THIS GUY IS A HERO.
1178
00:56:58,482 --> 00:57:00,015
HERO! HERO!
1179
00:57:06,022 --> 00:57:08,857
- THANK YOU.
- HERO! HERO!
1180
00:57:08,859 --> 00:57:10,159
- THAT WAS CRAZY.
- YEAH, IT WAS PRETTY CRAZY.
1181
00:57:10,161 --> 00:57:12,027
ARE YOU OKAY?
1182
00:57:12,029 --> 00:57:14,663
YEAH, I THINK I AM.
IT WAS JUST A
SEIZURE, I GUESS.
1183
00:57:14,665 --> 00:57:18,534
OKAY. I THINK WE SHOULD
JUST GO BACK TO MY PLACE
1184
00:57:18,536 --> 00:57:19,768
SO I CAN KEEP AN EYE ON YOU.
1185
00:57:19,770 --> 00:57:20,869
HOW ABOUT THAT?
1186
00:57:20,871 --> 00:57:22,638
OH GOSH. I DON'T KNOW, KELLY.
1187
00:57:22,640 --> 00:57:25,140
I THINK I SHOULD PROBABLY
JUST GO HOME ALONE
1188
00:57:25,142 --> 00:57:27,976
'CAUSE, YOU KNOW,
I NEARLY JUST DIED
KIND OF SO.
1189
00:57:27,978 --> 00:57:29,745
OKAY. WHAT IS IT?
1190
00:57:29,747 --> 00:57:33,482
DO YOU NOT LIKE HANGING
OUT WITH ME OR SOMETHING?
1191
00:57:33,484 --> 00:57:37,619
NO, IT'S NOT THAT.
IT'S, LIKE, SHANNON--
1192
00:57:37,621 --> 00:57:40,589
MY SISTER IS-- AT MY HOUSE
SO I HAVE TO BE THERE.
1193
00:57:40,591 --> 00:57:42,724
OKAY. YOU HAVE
TO STOP USING
YOUR ADULT SISTER
1194
00:57:42,726 --> 00:57:44,059
AS AN EXCUSE
FOR BLOWING ME OFF.
1195
00:57:44,061 --> 00:57:45,794
I'M NOT BLOWING YOU OFF.
1196
00:57:45,796 --> 00:57:46,929
I DON'T WANT YOU THINK
I'M BLOWING YOU OFF.
1197
00:57:46,931 --> 00:57:48,197
WELL, I'M AVAILABLE,
1198
00:57:48,199 --> 00:57:49,932
LIKE, TOTALLY AVAILABLE.
1199
00:57:49,934 --> 00:57:53,936
AND I'M GAY AND I'M VERY
ATTRACTED TO YOU.
1200
00:57:53,938 --> 00:57:55,237
I DON'T KNOW
IF YOU NOTICED THAT.
1201
00:57:55,239 --> 00:57:58,106
I LIKE YOU A LOT.
1202
00:57:58,108 --> 00:58:01,543
AND I'M COOL AS SHIT,
SO I DON'T SEE
WHAT THE PROBLEM IS.
1203
00:58:01,545 --> 00:58:03,745
AM I LIKE, WHAT?
AM I COMING ON
TOO STRONG?
1204
00:58:03,747 --> 00:58:06,248
AM I SUPPOSED TO PLAY GAMES
AND PRETEND
1205
00:58:06,250 --> 00:58:07,950
LIKE I DON'T LIKE YOU
AND BE MEAN TO YOU?
1206
00:58:07,952 --> 00:58:09,852
IS THAT WHAT ALICIA DOES?
1207
00:58:09,854 --> 00:58:12,788
SHOULD I BE LIKE ALICIA
AND FLIRT WITH OTHER GUYS
IN THE GYM
1208
00:58:12,790 --> 00:58:14,022
TO, LIKE,
MAKE YOU ATTRACTED TO ME?
1209
00:58:14,024 --> 00:58:15,023
I'M NOT A GAME PLAYER OKAY.
1210
00:58:15,025 --> 00:58:16,058
I'M OVER THAT SHIT.
1211
00:58:16,060 --> 00:58:17,559
I'M A GROWN ASS WOMAN
1212
00:58:17,561 --> 00:58:19,795
AND I FUCKING LIKE YOU
SO LET'S DO THIS.
1213
00:58:19,797 --> 00:58:21,730
WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
1214
00:58:21,732 --> 00:58:24,266
I DON'T KNOW, KELLY.
1215
00:58:24,268 --> 00:58:26,134
I DON'T THINK
IT'S A GOOD IDEA.
1216
00:58:26,136 --> 00:58:28,203
WAIT, WAIT, KELLY!
1217
00:58:28,205 --> 00:58:29,771
HEY, AND YOU KNOW WHAT,
1218
00:58:29,773 --> 00:58:31,173
YOU SHOULD SIGNED UP
FOR SPINNING
1219
00:58:31,175 --> 00:58:33,075
BECAUSE MY CLASS
HAS A NO ASSHOLE POLICY NOW, SO.
1220
00:58:49,726 --> 00:58:51,026
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?
1221
00:58:51,028 --> 00:58:52,928
NOTHING, I'M SORRY.
1222
00:58:52,930 --> 00:58:54,897
I DON'T KNOW ANYONE WAS HERE
SO I'M JUST GOING TO GO
1223
00:58:54,899 --> 00:58:56,698
AND YOU CAN CONTINUE
YOU'RE BLUBBERING.
1224
00:58:56,700 --> 00:58:58,834
- JUST PRETEND I AM NOT HERE.
- YOU'RE SO INSENSITIVE.
1225
00:58:58,836 --> 00:59:00,202
ARE YOU EVEN A WOMAN?
1226
00:59:00,204 --> 00:59:03,906
HEY, I'M SORRY, OKAY?
1227
00:59:03,908 --> 00:59:05,207
NO, YOU'RE NOT.
1228
00:59:05,209 --> 00:59:07,109
OKAY FINE. I'M NOT!
1229
00:59:07,111 --> 00:59:10,045
I SAW AN "OPRAH" ON THIS.
YOU'RE A SOCIOPATH.
1230
00:59:10,047 --> 00:59:12,581
HEY WAIT-- NOW LISTEN I AM
NOT SOCIOPATH, OKAY?
1231
00:59:12,583 --> 00:59:13,982
I FEEL STUFF.
1232
00:59:13,984 --> 00:59:15,851
I EMPATHIZE
AND I SYMPATHIZE WHICH MEANS
1233
00:59:15,853 --> 00:59:17,553
THAT I'M NOT A SOCIOPATH!
1234
00:59:17,555 --> 00:59:19,021
OKAY, WELL, IF THAT'S TRUE
1235
00:59:19,023 --> 00:59:20,656
THEN WHY DON'T
YOU ASK ME WHY I'M CRYING?
1236
00:59:26,162 --> 00:59:28,330
ALL RIGHT, I CAN DO IT.
1237
00:59:28,332 --> 00:59:30,232
WHAT'S WRONG?
1238
00:59:30,234 --> 00:59:32,968
OKAY, WELL WHEN I CONFRONTED
SCOTT ABOUT YOU--
1239
00:59:32,970 --> 00:59:34,102
WHO'S SCOTT?
1240
00:59:34,104 --> 00:59:35,804
MY HUSBAND,
THE ONE THAT YOU BLEW.
1241
00:59:35,806 --> 00:59:38,273
OH, YES, OKAY. AND SCOTT
YOU TALKED TO HIM ABOUT...
1242
00:59:38,275 --> 00:59:39,808
YEAH, HE DIDN'T DENY IT.
1243
00:59:39,810 --> 00:59:41,176
HE ADMITTED IT WAS TRUE.
1244
00:59:41,178 --> 00:59:42,311
OKAY.
1245
00:59:42,313 --> 00:59:44,046
AND THEN I ASKED HIM
IF IT WAS GOOD.
1246
00:59:44,048 --> 00:59:46,782
AND I COULD TELL
THAT HE DIDN'T WANT
TO SAY ANYTHING
1247
00:59:46,784 --> 00:59:48,884
BUT I FORCED IT OUT OF HIM
1248
00:59:48,886 --> 00:59:54,256
AND HE SAID THAT IT
WAS THE BEST BLOWJOB
OF HIS LIFE.
1249
00:59:54,258 --> 00:59:56,091
AND NOW WE JUST
CAN'T STOP FIGHTING
1250
00:59:56,093 --> 00:59:57,693
AND I CAN'T HAVE SEX
WITH HIM
1251
00:59:57,695 --> 00:59:59,194
AND I JUST DON'T KNOW
WHAT I'M GOING TO DO
1252
00:59:59,196 --> 01:00:03,966
BECAUSE I JUST--
I CAN NEVER--
I CAN NEVER DO THAT!
1253
01:00:03,968 --> 01:00:05,934
YEAH, OKAY,
YOU CAN DO IT,
YOU CAN DO IT.
1254
01:00:05,936 --> 01:00:07,736
YOU KNOW WHAT,
I KNOW HOW TO FIX THIS.
1255
01:00:10,039 --> 01:00:12,140
WE'LL USE THIS.
1256
01:00:12,142 --> 01:00:13,942
I'M GOING TO TEACH
HOW TO GIVE THE BEST
BLOWJOB OF YOUR LIFE.
1257
01:00:13,944 --> 01:00:16,678
OKAY, BUT HOLD ON,
CAN WE USE THIS?
1258
01:00:20,116 --> 01:00:22,084
DOESN'T SURPRISE ME
PHIL TOOK THE CASH.
1259
01:00:22,086 --> 01:00:24,019
HE WAS IN BUCHENWALD.
1260
01:00:24,021 --> 01:00:25,687
BECAUSE YOU CAN'T GET FREAKY
WHEN THERE'S A HOLOCAUST.
1261
01:00:25,689 --> 01:00:26,955
IT WAS A GOOD RUN!
1262
01:00:26,957 --> 01:00:29,057
"SUCKY, SUCKY
MY BIG FAT COCK!"
1263
01:00:29,059 --> 01:00:30,292
SORRY, HONEY.
1264
01:00:30,294 --> 01:00:32,861
SO, WHAT DO YOU NORMALLY DO?
1265
01:00:32,863 --> 01:00:37,332
I JUST CLOSE MY EYES
AND THEN--
1266
01:00:37,334 --> 01:00:39,001
LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE EATING
A CORN COB.
1267
01:00:39,003 --> 01:00:40,268
THAT'S NOT GOING
TO FEEL GOOD TO ANYONE.
1268
01:00:40,270 --> 01:00:42,204
- OKAY.
- OKAY.
1269
01:00:42,206 --> 01:00:44,006
ALL RIGHT SO WHAT
KIND OF PORN DO YOU
GUYS WATCH TOGETHER?
1270
01:00:44,008 --> 01:00:45,874
NO PORN, NONE.
1271
01:00:45,876 --> 01:00:47,976
WATCH A PORN ONCE
IN A WHILE BY YOURSELF
1272
01:00:47,978 --> 01:00:49,745
AND WATCH HOW
THE CHICKS DO IT.
1273
01:00:49,747 --> 01:00:51,747
AREN'T MOST
OF THOSE WOMEN SLAVES?
1274
01:00:51,749 --> 01:00:53,415
NO, THEY'RE FINE.
1275
01:00:53,417 --> 01:00:55,651
OH, I THOUGHT I SAW
A "DATELINE" ABOUT
THAT THEY WERE SLAVES.
1276
01:00:55,653 --> 01:00:56,952
NO.
1277
01:00:56,954 --> 01:00:59,287
NO, THEY PUT THEM IN A BOX
AND SHIP THEM OVER--
1278
01:00:59,289 --> 01:01:00,822
NO, THAT'S-- NO THOSE
ARE THE MANICURISTS.
1279
01:01:00,824 --> 01:01:02,090
OKAY.
1280
01:01:02,092 --> 01:01:03,258
NO, THOSE AREN'T
THE PORN STARS.
1281
01:01:03,260 --> 01:01:04,660
- THEY'RE NOT SLAVES.
- OKAY.
1282
01:01:04,662 --> 01:01:06,194
- OKAY, SO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO--
- YEAH.
1283
01:01:06,196 --> 01:01:07,963
IS YOU WANT TO PRETEND,
1284
01:01:07,965 --> 01:01:12,000
LIKE, WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE
FOOD IN THE WORLD?
1285
01:01:12,002 --> 01:01:15,270
YOPLAIT YOGURT,
CHEESE CAKE FLAVOR.
1286
01:01:15,272 --> 01:01:18,273
OKAY. SO I WANT YOU
TO PRETEND LIKE THIS
IS FILLED
1287
01:01:18,275 --> 01:01:20,709
WITH CHEESE CAKE FLAVORED
YOPLAIT YOGURT.
1288
01:01:20,711 --> 01:01:21,910
OKAY.
1289
01:01:21,912 --> 01:01:22,944
AND IF YOU SUCK IT
HARD ENOUGH--
1290
01:01:22,946 --> 01:01:24,179
YEAH.
1291
01:01:24,181 --> 01:01:25,213
YOU'RE GOING TO GET IT
ALL OUT.
1292
01:01:25,215 --> 01:01:27,149
- OKAY!
- OKAY?
1293
01:01:27,151 --> 01:01:28,784
SO NOW IN ORDER TO GET
OUT THE YOGURT YOU HAVE
TO SQUEEZE IT.
1294
01:01:28,786 --> 01:01:30,118
OKAY.
1295
01:01:30,120 --> 01:01:31,420
AND YOU WANT TO PUT
YOUR MOUTH ON THE TIP.
1296
01:01:31,422 --> 01:01:33,422
OKAY.
1297
01:01:33,424 --> 01:01:34,923
NOW YOU'RE GOING TO BRING
YOUR HANDS UP TO MEET
YOUR MOUTH.
1298
01:01:34,925 --> 01:01:36,191
- AS YOUR MOUTH GOES DOWN--
- OKAY.
1299
01:01:36,193 --> 01:01:38,260
YOUR HAND GOES UP.
1300
01:01:38,262 --> 01:01:39,394
AND IT'S LIKE THAT
AND IT'S-- SO THEY'RE
GOING TO--
1301
01:01:39,396 --> 01:01:40,762
- MOUTH BENEATH THE HAND.
- YES!
1302
01:01:40,764 --> 01:01:41,763
- MOUTH BENEATH THE HAND.
- YES!
1303
01:01:41,765 --> 01:01:43,165
MOUTH BENEATH THE HAND.
1304
01:01:43,167 --> 01:01:45,100
- YEAH! YOU'RE GOING TO GET--
- MOUTH--
1305
01:01:45,102 --> 01:01:46,835
NOW RIGHT BEFORE
YOU'RE GOING TO GET
YOUR HAND UP TO THE TOP,
1306
01:01:46,837 --> 01:01:48,103
HOLD IT REALLY TIGHT,
SPIT IN YOUR PALM,
1307
01:01:48,105 --> 01:01:50,706
RUB IT AROUND THE TOP,
POINT IT AWAY,
1308
01:01:50,708 --> 01:01:51,907
SHOOTS OUT INTO
THE STARS, OKAY?
1309
01:01:51,909 --> 01:01:53,141
- OKAY.
- ALL RIGHT.
1310
01:01:53,143 --> 01:01:54,342
YOU GOT THIS.
NOW GO, GO, GO, GO!
1311
01:01:54,344 --> 01:01:55,811
GOT SOME TECHNIQUE!
1312
01:01:55,813 --> 01:01:56,978
- YEAH, THAT'S IT.
- THANK YOU!
1313
01:01:56,980 --> 01:01:58,480
OKAY.
1314
01:02:05,788 --> 01:02:08,223
WHAT DO YOU MEAN
IT'S ONLY 12,000?
1315
01:02:08,225 --> 01:02:10,225
COME ON, COME ON.
IT'S A LOT OF MONEY,
1316
01:02:10,227 --> 01:02:11,993
IT'S LIKE--
THAT'S LIKE SIX DIGITS.
1317
01:02:11,995 --> 01:02:14,262
I SAID I WANTED 25,000.
1318
01:02:14,264 --> 01:02:17,399
WELL YOU CAN GET
A HOUSE IN DETROIT
FOR, LIKE, $800.
1319
01:02:17,401 --> 01:02:19,134
I DIDN'T WANT A HOUSE!
1320
01:02:19,136 --> 01:02:20,368
I WANTED A BUILDING.
1321
01:02:20,370 --> 01:02:22,304
COME ON, RUBY, PLEASE?
1322
01:02:22,306 --> 01:02:23,472
BUT IT'S CASH.
1323
01:02:23,474 --> 01:02:25,407
I MEAN
IT'S ALL RIGHT HERE.
1324
01:02:25,409 --> 01:02:28,009
IT'S A GOOD START,
GET EVERYTHING ROLLING,
YOU KNOW?
1325
01:02:28,011 --> 01:02:30,746
IT'S A GREAT START.
1326
01:02:30,748 --> 01:02:32,447
I'LL SELL THE THUNDERBIRD.
1327
01:02:32,449 --> 01:02:35,217
- YOU'LL SELL THE THUNDERBIRD?
- I PROMISE! I DON'T NEED IT.
1328
01:02:35,219 --> 01:02:37,052
SUPER COOL.
1329
01:02:37,054 --> 01:02:39,287
OKAY.
1330
01:02:39,289 --> 01:02:41,189
WE'LL TURN THE OVEN ON.
1331
01:02:47,430 --> 01:02:49,197
IT WAS REALLY SWEET
OF YOU TO COME.
1332
01:02:49,199 --> 01:02:50,866
OF COURSE!
1333
01:02:50,868 --> 01:02:52,501
YOU COULD'VE JUST TOLD ME
1334
01:02:52,503 --> 01:02:55,771
YOU'RE BEING BLACKMAILED
FOR KILLING SOME GUY'S DOG.
1335
01:02:55,773 --> 01:02:59,941
I FEEL BAD ABOUT IT.
I STILL DO.
1336
01:02:59,943 --> 01:03:02,110
THIS IS MY LAST DOG!
1337
01:03:02,112 --> 01:03:05,480
SUCK MY DICK, FRESNO!
1338
01:03:05,482 --> 01:03:07,849
WHAT'S UP WITH THAT CHICK?
1339
01:03:07,851 --> 01:03:11,286
OH, SHE'S MOVING TO DETROIT.
1340
01:03:11,288 --> 01:03:14,356
OKAY. UM...
1341
01:03:14,358 --> 01:03:20,529
LET'S ALL BOW
OUR HEADS AND HAVE
A MOMENT OF SILENCE.
1342
01:03:22,498 --> 01:03:27,035
BORIS, OH PRECIOUS BORIS.
1343
01:03:29,005 --> 01:03:34,009
HE WAS A CHAMPION
BUT HE WAS ALSO A DIRTY DOG.
1344
01:03:36,546 --> 01:03:42,350
OH, GOD, PLEASE WATCH OVER HIM
AND TAKE HIM TO A BETTER PLACE.
1345
01:03:42,352 --> 01:03:45,020
EVERYONE DESERVES THEIR DIGNITY.
1346
01:03:45,022 --> 01:03:48,957
WE'VE ALL DONE THINGS
WE'RE NOT PROUD OF.
1347
01:03:48,959 --> 01:03:50,826
THE LAST TIME
I WAS AT A CEMETERY
1348
01:03:50,828 --> 01:03:53,295
WAS FOR MY FATHER'S FUNERAL.
1349
01:03:53,297 --> 01:03:55,297
IT WAS NOT AN EASY TIME
FOR ANY OF US
1350
01:03:55,299 --> 01:03:58,400
BUT ESPECIALLY NOT FOR MY SISTER
SHANNON BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T SHOW.
1351
01:03:58,402 --> 01:04:00,135
I KNOW SHE WANTED TO BE THERE
1352
01:04:00,137 --> 01:04:03,505
BUT SHE COULDN'T BECAUSE
SHE DIDN'T FEEL GOOD.
1353
01:04:03,507 --> 01:04:05,574
I DON'T BLAME HER.
1354
01:04:05,576 --> 01:04:08,310
IT'S JUST--
SOMETIMES IT'S HARD FOR ME
1355
01:04:08,312 --> 01:04:10,145
TO DO EVERYTHING ON MY OWN,
1356
01:04:10,147 --> 01:04:12,414
SO I GUESS
I'M JUST REALLY GRATEFUL
1357
01:04:12,416 --> 01:04:14,316
THAT WE MADE IT
THROUGH THIS TIME TOGETHER.
1358
01:04:16,085 --> 01:04:18,019
YEAH.
1359
01:04:42,044 --> 01:04:43,211
HI, MARTHA.
1360
01:04:56,459 --> 01:05:00,061
MARTHA! MARTHA!
1361
01:05:03,232 --> 01:05:04,966
WE SLEPT TOGETHER BEFORE
1362
01:05:04,968 --> 01:05:06,968
SO THERE'S LIKE
A GRANDFATHER CLAUSE SITUATION,
1363
01:05:09,672 --> 01:05:11,506
THEY STILL BUILD THESE.
ISN'T THAT CRAZY?
1364
01:05:11,508 --> 01:05:14,042
LITTLE SHEDS?
1365
01:05:14,044 --> 01:05:17,412
MARTHA! MARTHA, STOP RUNNING!
1366
01:05:17,414 --> 01:05:19,180
MARTHA, COME ON!
1367
01:05:19,182 --> 01:05:20,348
WAIT, I'M SORRY!
1368
01:05:20,350 --> 01:05:22,150
SORRY, YOU'RE NOT SORRY, SHAN!
1369
01:05:22,152 --> 01:05:23,585
IT'S NOT MY FAULT!
1370
01:05:23,587 --> 01:05:25,420
IT'S MY DISEASE!
I CAN'T HELP IT!
1371
01:05:25,422 --> 01:05:27,923
OF COURSE, RIGHT.
YOU NEVER MEAN
TO DO ANYTHING.
1372
01:05:27,925 --> 01:05:30,225
YOU KNOW YOU'RE JUST LIKE DAD.
1373
01:05:30,227 --> 01:05:32,360
JUST BLAME EVERYONE ELSE.
1374
01:05:32,362 --> 01:05:35,563
IT'S NEVER YOU, RIGHT?
1375
01:05:35,565 --> 01:05:39,367
WELL, I AM SO TIRED OF TRYING
TO HELP YOU.
1376
01:05:43,039 --> 01:05:44,306
MARTHA!
1377
01:05:44,308 --> 01:05:46,641
YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME HERE!
1378
01:05:46,643 --> 01:05:48,176
DON'T COME BACK TO MY PLACE!
1379
01:05:48,178 --> 01:05:50,078
I'M DONE!
1380
01:05:56,185 --> 01:05:58,620
IT'S HARD LETTING GO,
ISN'T IT?
1381
01:06:01,257 --> 01:06:03,224
IF ONLY POP TART
COULD'VE SPOKEN UP
1382
01:06:03,226 --> 01:06:06,261
AND TOLD ME
WHAT WAS BOTHERING HER.
1383
01:06:06,263 --> 01:06:10,732
BUT TURTLES CAN'T LET
YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOING, CAN THEY?
1384
01:06:10,734 --> 01:06:12,634
ROBOTS CAN'T EITHER.
1385
01:06:39,362 --> 01:06:41,463
BACK SO SOON?
1386
01:06:41,465 --> 01:06:44,265
STAYING FOR A WHILE THIS TIME.
1387
01:06:44,267 --> 01:06:46,001
YOU HIT THE LOTTO?
1388
01:06:46,003 --> 01:06:48,737
THIS IS LEFT OVER FROM
BAR MITZVAH MONEY.
1389
01:06:48,739 --> 01:06:50,672
GOOD LUCK.
1390
01:06:50,674 --> 01:06:53,775
MY MOM DIED OF CANCER
THEN MY DAD DIED OF ALCOHOL,
1391
01:06:53,777 --> 01:06:55,677
AND MY LITTLE SISTER HAD
NO ONE TO HELP HER.
1392
01:06:55,679 --> 01:06:59,748
AND INSTEAD OF HELPING HER I
JUST BLEW OFF MY DAD'S FUNERAL.
1393
01:07:02,385 --> 01:07:06,521
AND A FEW MONTHS AGO I DID
SOME REALLY HORRIBLE SHIT
1394
01:07:06,523 --> 01:07:12,093
WHICH IS WHY I'M HERE, AND
MY SISTER BAILED ME OUT AGAIN.
1395
01:07:12,095 --> 01:07:14,329
AND SO DID THIS-- THIS GUY
1396
01:07:14,331 --> 01:07:19,634
THAT I MET WHO'S REALLY NICE,
AND I REALLY LIKED HIM.
1397
01:07:19,636 --> 01:07:21,703
INSTEAD OF DEALING
WITH MY FEELINGS
1398
01:07:21,705 --> 01:07:25,106
LIKE A MATURE ADULT,
GROWN UP PERSON,
1399
01:07:25,108 --> 01:07:27,342
I FUCKED A RANDOM DUDE.
1400
01:07:30,713 --> 01:07:34,115
I JUST DON'T WANT
TO LET ANYONE DOWN ANYMORE.
1401
01:07:34,117 --> 01:07:36,384
I DON'T WANT
TO LET MYSELF DOWN ANYMORE
1402
01:07:36,386 --> 01:07:38,119
AND I WANT THIS PART
OF MY LIFE--
1403
01:07:38,121 --> 01:07:40,288
THIS WHOLE CHUNK TO BE OVER.
1404
01:07:40,290 --> 01:07:42,424
AND THAT'S WHY I'M HERE
BECAUSE I NEED HELP.
1405
01:07:46,295 --> 01:07:48,329
I'M JUST FUCKING TIRED
OF FUCKING.
1406
01:07:51,300 --> 01:07:54,135
FUCK!
1407
01:07:54,137 --> 01:08:00,575
SORRY, IT WASN'T MY TURN,
I'M SORRY.
1408
01:08:00,577 --> 01:08:03,745
YOU KNOW
WHO WOULD'VE LOVED THAT?
1409
01:08:03,747 --> 01:08:06,381
OPRAH.
1410
01:10:20,583 --> 01:10:22,250
I HAVE PAYCHECKS!
1411
01:10:22,252 --> 01:10:23,618
THIS ONE IS FOR MARTHA.
1412
01:10:23,620 --> 01:10:25,253
THAT'S YOU?
1413
01:10:25,255 --> 01:10:29,257
AND THIS IS FOR SHANNON,
YOUR BIG SISTER.
1414
01:10:29,259 --> 01:10:32,727
SHE'S GOING TO HAVE
TO PICK HERS UP. SHE QUIT.
1415
01:10:32,729 --> 01:10:34,462
AND WE'RE NOT TALKING ANYMORE.
1416
01:10:34,464 --> 01:10:36,631
WHY NOT?
1417
01:10:36,633 --> 01:10:37,799
LET'S SEE.
1418
01:10:37,801 --> 01:10:39,734
SHE'S A LIAR, SHE'S SELFISH,
1419
01:10:39,736 --> 01:10:42,003
SHE'S UNGRATEFUL,
AND SHE CAN'T
GET HER LIFE TOGETHER.
1420
01:10:42,005 --> 01:10:43,605
IT'S ACTUALLY REALLY SAD.
1421
01:10:43,607 --> 01:10:44,706
MY SISTER SUCKS.
1422
01:10:44,708 --> 01:10:46,541
WHY DOES SHE SUCK?
1423
01:10:46,543 --> 01:10:49,477
WERE YOU NOT LISTENING, JERRY?
I JUST TOLD YOU THE WHOLE THING.
1424
01:10:49,479 --> 01:10:51,579
SHE'S A PAIN IN THE ASS!
1425
01:10:51,581 --> 01:10:53,014
WHY?
1426
01:10:53,016 --> 01:10:55,683
BECAUSE SHE JUST DOES
WHATEVER THE HELL SHE WANTS,
1427
01:10:55,685 --> 01:11:00,488
AND SHE DOESN'T CARE
WHO SHE HURTS ALONG THE WAY.
1428
01:11:00,490 --> 01:11:04,392
I MEAN, I DID EVERYTHING
I COULD FOR HER.
1429
01:11:04,394 --> 01:11:07,729
I GOT HER THIS JOB,
LET HER STAY AT MY PLACE,
1430
01:11:07,731 --> 01:11:10,598
AND IT'S LIKE SHE JUST DIDN'T
EVEN WANT ANY OF IT.
1431
01:11:10,600 --> 01:11:13,768
WELL, IF SHE DIDN'T WANT HELP,
WHY DID YOU HELP HER?
1432
01:11:14,903 --> 01:11:16,471
I DON'T KNOW.
1433
01:11:16,473 --> 01:11:18,573
SOUNDS LIKE YOU NEED HELP.
1434
01:11:20,643 --> 01:11:24,379
UH...
I DON'T NEED ANY HELP.
1435
01:11:24,381 --> 01:11:28,416
YOU WORRY TOO MUCH ABOUT
YOUR SISTER AND NOT YOURSELF.
1436
01:11:28,418 --> 01:11:30,451
MY LIFE IS PRETTY SWEET.
1437
01:11:30,453 --> 01:11:31,986
IT'S NOT SWEET.
1438
01:11:31,988 --> 01:11:36,291
YOU LIVE ALL ALONE.
AND YOU'RE A MAID IN FRESNO.
1439
01:11:36,293 --> 01:11:37,825
YOU'RE A MAID TOO,
YOU KNOW.
1440
01:11:37,827 --> 01:11:39,861
YES, BUT I'M BETTER
THAN A MAID.
1441
01:11:39,863 --> 01:11:41,763
EXECUTIVE MAID!
1442
01:11:41,765 --> 01:11:43,998
AND I HAVE SEXY GIRLFRIEND.
1443
01:11:49,071 --> 01:11:52,340
YEAH,
CAN YOU JUST, LIKE,
PUT THEM BACK RIGHT AWAY.
1444
01:11:52,342 --> 01:11:54,542
'CAUSE THEY'RE ALWAYS
GETTING TANGLED UP.
1445
01:11:58,714 --> 01:12:00,648
KELLY, YOU DON'T HAVE
TO HIDE FROM ME.
1446
01:12:00,650 --> 01:12:03,651
HEY, ALICIA IS WORKING OUT
AT PRESTOWN CROSSFIT
1447
01:12:03,653 --> 01:12:05,987
SO YOU SHOULD GO SIGN
UP THERE.
1448
01:12:05,989 --> 01:12:08,623
I DON'T WANT TO SAY "HI"
TO ALICIA
1449
01:12:08,625 --> 01:12:11,526
I WANT TO SAY "HI" TO YOU,
KELLY.
1450
01:12:11,528 --> 01:12:12,694
HI.
1451
01:12:19,768 --> 01:12:23,604
I WANT TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU,
OKAY?
1452
01:12:23,606 --> 01:12:26,541
I'M SORRY.
1453
01:12:26,543 --> 01:12:29,010
I WASN'T MYSELF.
1454
01:12:29,012 --> 01:12:32,714
YEAH, JUST A LOT OF WEIRD STUFF
WAS GOING ON IN MY LIFE.
1455
01:12:32,716 --> 01:12:34,916
YOU SAY YOUR SISTER
OR YOUR EX ONE MORE TIME
1456
01:12:34,918 --> 01:12:37,018
I WILL LITERALLY VOMIT,
RIGHT NOW.
1457
01:12:37,020 --> 01:12:39,020
WELL, I WON'T.
1458
01:12:39,022 --> 01:12:42,023
OKAY? BECAUSE NEITHER OF
THEM ARE IN MY LIFE ANYMORE.
1459
01:12:42,025 --> 01:12:43,891
I MEAN IT'S GOOD!
1460
01:12:43,893 --> 01:12:46,361
LIKE FOR THE FIRST TIME
IN MY LIFE
1461
01:12:46,363 --> 01:12:47,929
I'M DOING STUFF JUST
FOR MYSELF.
1462
01:12:47,931 --> 01:12:50,865
LIKE, I GOT A PEDICURE
YESTERDAY
1463
01:12:50,867 --> 01:12:55,436
AND I TOOK A BUBBLE BATH,
YOU KNOW?
1464
01:12:55,438 --> 01:12:57,004
WOW, YOU TOOK A BATH.
1465
01:12:57,006 --> 01:12:58,740
YEAH.
1466
01:12:58,742 --> 01:13:03,678
AND NOW I'M DOING THIS OTHER
THING I REALLY WANTED TO DO,
1467
01:13:03,680 --> 01:13:05,580
TALKING TO A GIRL
WHO I THINK IS PRETTY COOL.
1468
01:13:08,150 --> 01:13:11,452
I REALLY LIKED YOU.
1469
01:13:11,454 --> 01:13:12,653
I STILL LIKE YOU.
1470
01:13:14,957 --> 01:13:17,158
OKAY.
1471
01:13:17,160 --> 01:13:19,994
BUT IF YOUR SISTER
AND YOUR EX ARE,
1472
01:13:19,996 --> 01:13:22,563
LIKE, TOTALLY
OUT OF THE PICTURE
FOR REAL THEN
1473
01:13:22,565 --> 01:13:24,632
WHAT ARE YOU POSSIBLY GOING
TO USE AS AN EXCUSE
1474
01:13:24,634 --> 01:13:26,834
NOT TO GO OUT WITH ME
TONIGHT?
1475
01:13:26,836 --> 01:13:28,870
TONIGHT.
1476
01:13:28,872 --> 01:13:30,571
NOTHING.
1477
01:13:30,573 --> 01:13:34,742
NEWSFLASH--
I'M AVAILABLE.
1478
01:13:34,744 --> 01:13:37,512
- REALLY?
- BIG TIME.
1479
01:13:46,189 --> 01:13:48,689
YO, YO, YO! GURU!
1480
01:13:48,691 --> 01:13:50,691
DO YOU REMEMBER ME?
1481
01:13:50,693 --> 01:13:52,460
I THINK YOU HAVE
THE WRONG PERSON.
1482
01:13:52,462 --> 01:13:54,162
NO, NO.
YOU DON'T REMEMBER ME?
1483
01:13:54,164 --> 01:13:56,798
MY PARENTS HAD A
HOUSE THAT SMELLED
LIKE DIRTY DIAPERS?
1484
01:13:56,800 --> 01:13:58,032
DOES THAT RING A BELL?
1485
01:13:58,034 --> 01:14:00,067
- NO.
- YOU REMEMBER THIS PRETTY FACE?
1486
01:14:02,704 --> 01:14:04,172
YEAH, HI!
1487
01:14:04,174 --> 01:14:06,140
YOU GOT ANYMORE AWESOME WORDS
OF WISDOM FOR ME?
1488
01:14:06,142 --> 01:14:07,608
OH, I DON'T.
1489
01:14:07,610 --> 01:14:10,912
I'M KIND OF OUT OF
THE GURU BUSINESS.
1490
01:14:10,914 --> 01:14:12,046
WHAT?
1491
01:14:12,048 --> 01:14:14,449
I'M WORKING
AT FOSTER FARMS NOW.
1492
01:14:14,451 --> 01:14:18,219
OH WELL THAT'S GOOD FOR FOSTER
FARMS BUT BAD FOR GURUS.
1493
01:14:18,221 --> 01:14:20,521
YOU WERE SO GOOD AT THAT!
1494
01:14:20,523 --> 01:14:22,190
I GOT TO TELL YOU
MY WHOLE LIFE CHANGED
1495
01:14:22,192 --> 01:14:23,658
BECAUSE OF THE STUFF
YOU TOLD ME.
1496
01:14:23,660 --> 01:14:25,059
REALLY, HOW?
1497
01:14:25,061 --> 01:14:26,627
I SOLD THE VAN.
1498
01:14:26,629 --> 01:14:28,896
I'M PAWNED BORIS'
BRONZE MEDAL.
1499
01:14:28,898 --> 01:14:31,199
I SOLD MY PARENTS' HOUSE
FOR A SHITLOAD OF MONEY.
1500
01:14:31,201 --> 01:14:32,633
I FIGURED THEY'D BE
BETTER OFF ROTTING
1501
01:14:32,635 --> 01:14:34,001
IN THE NURSING HOME,
YOU KNOW.
1502
01:14:34,003 --> 01:14:35,570
GOT A REAL GOOD PRICE
ON A NURSING HOME,
1503
01:14:35,572 --> 01:14:37,605
ONE OF THE CHEAPEST ONES.
1504
01:14:37,607 --> 01:14:40,575
AND THAT WAS REALLY
ALL BECAUSE OF YOU,
I HAVE TO BE HONEST.
1505
01:14:40,577 --> 01:14:42,910
AND I'M GETTING
A CHIN IMPLANT.
1506
01:14:42,912 --> 01:14:45,112
I NEVER SAID
ANY OF THAT STUFF.
1507
01:14:45,114 --> 01:14:48,049
LISTEN, GURU,
I FELT YOUR VIBE
AND I RAN WITH IT.
1508
01:14:48,051 --> 01:14:49,984
IF YOU EVER SEE BORIS
YOU TELL HIM
1509
01:14:49,986 --> 01:14:52,119
WE'RE BETTER OFF
WITHOUT EACH OTHER, OKAY?
1510
01:14:52,121 --> 01:14:54,622
SIBLINGS CAN REALLY SINK
EACH OTHER, YOU KNOW?
1511
01:14:54,624 --> 01:14:57,792
TELL HIM I SAID THAT,
OKAY?
1512
01:14:57,794 --> 01:15:00,495
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!
NAMASTE!
1513
01:16:33,822 --> 01:16:36,157
911, WHAT'S YOUR EMERGENCY?
1514
01:16:36,159 --> 01:16:40,628
IT'S NOT REALLY AN EMERGENCY.
1515
01:16:40,630 --> 01:16:44,966
I KILLED A GUY,
SO SOMEONE SHOULD
PROBABLY COME AND GET ME.
1516
01:16:44,968 --> 01:16:47,935
PLEASE HOLD.
1517
01:16:47,937 --> 01:16:50,304
NOW, I'LL CONNECT YOU TO THE FRESNO POLICE.
1518
01:16:50,306 --> 01:16:52,340
PLEASE STATE YOUR PRESENT LOCATION,
1519
01:16:52,342 --> 01:16:55,276
PARAMEDICS HAVE BEEN DISPATCHED.
1520
01:16:55,278 --> 01:16:58,045
NO, YOU DON'T HAVE
TO SEND THE PARAMEDICS.
1521
01:16:58,047 --> 01:17:00,681
IT WAS A LITTLE WHILE AGO.
1522
01:17:00,683 --> 01:17:02,783
IT WAS AN ACCIDENT,
1523
01:17:02,785 --> 01:17:06,787
I'M SURE EVERYONE SAYS THAT,
BUT IT, LIKE REALLY
WAS AN ACCIDENT.
1524
01:17:06,789 --> 01:17:08,656
WELL, DO YOU THINK
THAT MAYBE SOMEONE COULD
1525
01:17:08,658 --> 01:17:10,825
JUST COME HERE AND GET ME
BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE A CAR?
1526
01:17:13,629 --> 01:17:14,829
THAT'S A REALLY FAR WALK.
1527
01:17:21,703 --> 01:17:24,739
SO ANYWAY, SHAN, I'MGLAD YOU'RE GETTING MY LETTERS.
1528
01:17:24,741 --> 01:17:27,008
I MISS YOU BUT I'M KIND OF GLAD YOU'RE IN JAIL.
1529
01:17:27,010 --> 01:17:29,010
AND I MEAN THAT IN THE NICEST WAY.
1530
01:17:29,012 --> 01:17:31,112
YOU BETTER LOOK LIKE LINDA HAMILTON IN "T2"
1531
01:17:31,114 --> 01:17:33,881
WHEN YOU GET OUT. BABY GOT BACK!
1532
01:17:33,883 --> 01:17:36,017
LIKE ACTUAL BACK, IT WAS AWESOME!
1533
01:17:38,820 --> 01:17:41,055
I'LL SEE YOU NEXT MONTH AND TRY AND STAY OUT OF TROUBLE.
1534
01:17:43,692 --> 01:17:44,892
HUGS.
1535
01:17:44,894 --> 01:17:48,229
MARTHA.
1536
01:17:48,231 --> 01:17:54,101
P.S., I HATE YOU WHICH IN CASE YOU FORGOT
1537
01:17:54,103 --> 01:17:56,704
MEANS I LOVE YOU LIKE A SISTER.
1538
01:18:24,467 --> 01:18:28,069
I DID LEARN THIS THIS FROM
"HOT KNOCKERS 4."
1539
01:18:28,071 --> 01:18:29,437
OH, BABY.
1540
01:18:29,439 --> 01:18:31,772
SHAN! STOP,
YOUR MY SISTER.
1541
01:18:31,774 --> 01:18:33,274
HOLD STILL, BABY.
1542
01:18:33,276 --> 01:18:35,810
THANK YOU. YOU ARE--
YOU HAVE A TREASURE TROVE.
1543
01:18:35,812 --> 01:18:38,312
YOU'RE LIKE
THE MAYA ANGELOU
OF DICK SUCKING,
1544
01:18:38,314 --> 01:18:39,346
AND I MEAN THAT.
1545
01:18:39,348 --> 01:18:41,849
IT WAS JUST A BIG URINE CAKE.
1546
01:18:45,487 --> 01:18:50,157
IT'S TRUE.
- I GOT IT! I GOT IT!
1547
01:18:50,159 --> 01:18:53,027
I WAS JUST--
I WAS JUST A BIG URINAL CAKE.
1548
01:18:53,029 --> 01:18:58,399
THE ENTIRE COMMUNITY--
I'M SORRY.
1549
01:18:58,401 --> 01:19:00,267
EVERYONE'S EXCITED BUT
I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING.
1550
01:19:00,269 --> 01:19:01,936
LIKE, LIKE, LIKE!
1551
01:19:01,938 --> 01:19:04,772
WHAT ARE WE--
WHAT ARE WE JACKING?
1552
01:19:04,774 --> 01:19:07,942
MAYBE IT'S ME,
MAYBE IT'S JERRY GARCIA,
1553
01:19:07,944 --> 01:19:10,511
MAYBE IT'S COUSIN IT.
NOBODY KNOWS.
1554
01:19:10,513 --> 01:19:14,181
HELLO, I'M HERE FOR
YOUR BAR MITZVAH,
SHALOM!
1555
01:19:14,183 --> 01:19:17,218
COME AT YOU AND I'LL FUCK
YOU SO HARD YOU'LL COME OUT
YOUR BUTT.
1556
01:19:32,968 --> 01:19:35,436
ARE WE LOOKING
INTO THE LENS?
1557
01:19:35,438 --> 01:19:39,540
NO, I CAN'T LOOK AWAY.
I CAN'T LOOK AWAY.
I CAN'T LOOK AWAY.
1558
01:19:39,542 --> 01:19:41,776
YOU WANT US TO COME
ON THE CART?
128475
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