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1
00:00:24,958 --> 00:00:26,722
Hold still, Grandpa.
2
00:00:27,394 --> 00:00:31,695
The folks back in Transylvania
are really going to like this portrait.
3
00:00:31,832 --> 00:00:33,733
Lily, couldn't you
have thought...
4
00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:35,632
of a more imaginative pose?
5
00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:38,968
My family is accustomed
to seeing me in this position.
6
00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:40,803
Don't talk, Grandpa.
7
00:00:41,808 --> 00:00:43,037
When you talk...
8
00:00:43,110 --> 00:00:46,979
the blood flows to your head and
spoils the natural greenness of your face.
9
00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:49,448
I want this to
look true-to-life.
10
00:00:52,319 --> 00:00:53,947
You know something, Lily?
11
00:00:54,021 --> 00:00:56,820
You're setting a very artistic
mood with your painting, dear.
12
00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:58,688
And it's helping me compose.
13
00:00:59,793 --> 00:01:02,456
Hey, Herman, what
could you ever compose?
14
00:01:02,529 --> 00:01:05,624
You have a very difficult
time making your bed.
15
00:01:06,033 --> 00:01:07,729
Is that so? Yes!
16
00:01:08,468 --> 00:01:11,199
Well, it just so happens that
Mr. Gateman down at the parlor...
17
00:01:11,271 --> 00:01:14,673
has asked me to write some
poetry for the employee magazine.
18
00:01:14,741 --> 00:01:18,178
Herman, will you quiet down
and write your silly poetry?
19
00:01:18,245 --> 00:01:20,737
You're interrupting
my creative flow.
20
00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:26,577
If she calls my poetry silly, I'm
going to call her painting rotten.
21
00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:30,519
Mumble, mumble. What
are you saying, Herman?
22
00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:35,120
All right, I'll tell
you just what I said.
23
00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:38,297
I think it's darn mean of
you to call my poetry silly...
24
00:01:38,365 --> 00:01:40,857
so I called your
painting rotten.
25
00:01:41,268 --> 00:01:43,601
After looking at
your painting...
26
00:01:44,805 --> 00:01:47,001
I think I'll throw
in "crummy," too.
27
00:01:48,442 --> 00:01:50,877
Crummy, crummy, crummy...
28
00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:55,275
Help!
29
00:01:56,216 --> 00:01:57,946
Get me out of here!
30
00:01:58,018 --> 00:02:00,613
I'm in quicksand.
31
00:03:14,961 --> 00:03:16,486
Hi, Clyde.
32
00:03:16,863 --> 00:03:18,388
Hello, Herman.
33
00:03:19,266 --> 00:03:21,861
Herman, it's
beautiful, just beautiful.
34
00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:25,995
Thank you. I told the barber
to let the bangs grow out a little.
35
00:03:26,106 --> 00:03:27,165
No.
36
00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:31,177
I mean your poetry they
published in The Mortician Monthly.
37
00:03:31,244 --> 00:03:34,112
You weave magic with words.
38
00:03:34,181 --> 00:03:36,343
Well, I try.
39
00:03:36,450 --> 00:03:38,385
I'm no Carl Sandburg.
40
00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:42,053
"Going Out to Pasture
by Herman Munster.
41
00:03:42,856 --> 00:03:46,486
"When your grazing days are
over and you've gone to your reward
42
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:50,292
"Let us plant you 'neath the
clover at a price you can afford."
43
00:03:50,797 --> 00:03:52,425
That's beautiful.
44
00:03:54,101 --> 00:03:55,626
Herman. Hmm?
45
00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:59,562
I might just as well come
out with it. I've got a problem.
46
00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:01,340
By all means.
47
00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:04,006
Lay it on me, Clyde.
48
00:04:04,711 --> 00:04:07,010
Well, I met a girl on a bus.
49
00:04:07,147 --> 00:04:09,013
A very beautiful girl.
50
00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:12,712
I fell head over heels in
love with her. You're in love?
51
00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:14,349
Good.
52
00:04:14,688 --> 00:04:16,657
Well, that's no problem.
53
00:04:16,823 --> 00:04:19,884
As the hipsters say,
"Man, that's a groove."
54
00:04:21,361 --> 00:04:23,125
No, it isn't, Herman.
55
00:04:23,296 --> 00:04:26,130
I'm so shy around girls.
56
00:04:26,666 --> 00:04:29,864
I tried to talk to her on the
bus and I got all tongue-tied.
57
00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:32,997
I couldn't even work up enough
courage to ask her for a date.
58
00:04:33,073 --> 00:04:35,201
Gee, I wish I could
help you. You can.
59
00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:38,109
How? You can write
love letters to this girl.
60
00:04:38,178 --> 00:04:40,909
I can write love
letters to the girl...
61
00:04:42,749 --> 00:04:43,944
Clyde.
62
00:04:44,551 --> 00:04:46,247
I'm a married man!
63
00:04:46,753 --> 00:04:48,244
And besides...
64
00:04:48,321 --> 00:04:50,984
how do I know she and
I would be compatible?
65
00:04:51,057 --> 00:04:53,083
No, Herman, don't you see?
66
00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:56,028
You're a poet. You're
an established writer.
67
00:04:56,663 --> 00:05:00,794
You could compose the love poems
for me and I could sign my name.
68
00:05:01,401 --> 00:05:03,893
Well, that's very flattering...
69
00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:07,941
but I've never written
mush to girls before.
70
00:05:08,074 --> 00:05:12,205
I usually write my mush to
flowers and sunsets and waterfalls...
71
00:05:12,279 --> 00:05:13,645
and junk like that.
72
00:05:13,713 --> 00:05:15,238
But, Herman, I
know you can do it.
73
00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:18,843
Just write me a letter that will
tell my girl how much I love her.
74
00:05:18,919 --> 00:05:20,911
How much you love her?
75
00:05:21,555 --> 00:05:22,648
Love.
76
00:05:22,956 --> 00:05:25,255
Love, dove, above...
77
00:05:25,992 --> 00:05:28,552
Well, I'll try. I'll go home
tonight and I'll write you one.
78
00:05:28,628 --> 00:05:30,654
I'll deliver it to you first
thing in the morning.
79
00:05:30,730 --> 00:05:32,722
You got yourself a deal.
80
00:05:34,301 --> 00:05:35,564
Love, dove...
81
00:05:40,307 --> 00:05:42,776
There, that does it.
82
00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:45,472
One romantic love
letter, all finished.
83
00:05:47,380 --> 00:05:51,317
Herman, if you're going to write love
letters, why do you have to use my dungeon?
84
00:05:52,252 --> 00:05:54,483
Because I'm hiding from Lily.
85
00:05:54,754 --> 00:05:58,316
She thinks my poetry is
silly, and that deflates my ego.
86
00:05:59,259 --> 00:06:01,728
And why do you
have to use my tub?
87
00:06:02,162 --> 00:06:03,221
Why?
88
00:06:03,997 --> 00:06:07,297
Because I once read that Thoreau
did some of his best writing...
89
00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:09,165
while sitting in a tree.
90
00:06:09,236 --> 00:06:12,172
Kipling once wrote a
whole poem on horseback.
91
00:06:12,739 --> 00:06:16,835
And I prefer to court
the Muse in a hot tub.
92
00:06:24,251 --> 00:06:26,186
Oh, boy!
93
00:06:26,553 --> 00:06:28,351
Here, listen to this:
94
00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:33,888
"I am enchanted beyond belief,
Having you to fill my dreams
95
00:06:34,361 --> 00:06:36,159
"My life was nothing
96
00:06:36,263 --> 00:06:39,563
"Until your sweet presence
breathed the breath of love
97
00:06:39,633 --> 00:06:41,158
"Into my soul."
98
00:06:42,502 --> 00:06:43,936
How does that grab you?
99
00:06:44,004 --> 00:06:46,974
Well, I'll tell you, right
after I get violently ill.
100
00:06:48,108 --> 00:06:50,839
Now, there's no
need to be sarcastic.
101
00:06:51,278 --> 00:06:55,841
After Clyde's girl reads these delicate
and poetic tender words of love...
102
00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:58,351
they're gonna knock
her right in the kisser.
103
00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:01,513
Herman, you better
knock off this letter-writing.
104
00:07:01,888 --> 00:07:04,414
If Lily finds one of
these mushy missiles...
105
00:07:04,491 --> 00:07:06,722
she's liable to get
the wrong idea.
106
00:07:06,793 --> 00:07:08,921
Pish-tosh. Hand me the soap.
107
00:07:12,632 --> 00:07:13,691
Thank you.
108
00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:17,295
Herman, why are you taking
a bath with your clothes on?
109
00:07:19,539 --> 00:07:23,476
Because I consider you the kind of
rude person who wouldn't turn his back.
110
00:07:34,487 --> 00:07:36,251
There you are, Eddie.
111
00:07:36,323 --> 00:07:39,225
Hi, Mom. I'm practicing
for when I grow up.
112
00:07:39,426 --> 00:07:40,689
Good boy.
113
00:07:41,227 --> 00:07:42,559
Have you seen your father?
114
00:07:42,629 --> 00:07:46,589
I'm cleaning all the bedrooms and I
want him to help me turn Grandpa's slab.
115
00:07:46,666 --> 00:07:48,294
Pop went out a while ago.
116
00:07:48,368 --> 00:07:51,805
He said he was going downtown
to see some guy named Clyde.
117
00:07:52,405 --> 00:07:53,896
Where is Grandpa?
118
00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:56,409
He's out in the
yard taking a nap.
119
00:07:56,676 --> 00:07:58,372
Isn't that just like
your grandfather?
120
00:07:58,445 --> 00:08:02,246
Whenever there's work to be
done, he'll always crawl into his hole.
121
00:08:03,383 --> 00:08:04,874
Can I help you, Mom?
122
00:08:05,151 --> 00:08:06,642
No, thank you, Eddie.
123
00:08:07,220 --> 00:08:09,382
I think I'll go and
tidy up the dungeon.
124
00:08:09,456 --> 00:08:13,120
There's no telling what I'll
find lying around down there.
125
00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:20,099
"Your sweet presence
breathes the breath of love
126
00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:22,032
"Into my soul."
127
00:08:22,102 --> 00:08:23,832
That's beautiful, Herman.
128
00:08:23,903 --> 00:08:25,132
Thank you.
129
00:08:25,205 --> 00:08:28,175
Now, all I have to do is copy
this letter in my handwriting...
130
00:08:28,241 --> 00:08:30,767
sign my name and
mail it to my girl.
131
00:08:31,044 --> 00:08:35,311
You know, Clyde, it makes me feel very
good to have been of some help to you.
132
00:08:35,648 --> 00:08:38,709
I mean, there have been
hundreds of ghosts in our family...
133
00:08:38,785 --> 00:08:40,879
but never a ghostwriter.
134
00:08:44,224 --> 00:08:45,351
Yeah.
135
00:08:45,425 --> 00:08:48,122
Well, Herman, I can't
thank you enough.
136
00:08:48,962 --> 00:08:52,023
You must have a very understanding
wife, who'll let you spend your time...
137
00:08:52,098 --> 00:08:54,226
writing love letters
to strange girls.
138
00:08:54,300 --> 00:08:55,529
My wife?
139
00:08:55,602 --> 00:08:57,434
No, she's no problem.
140
00:08:59,239 --> 00:09:02,607
Believe me, Clyde, my wife
doesn't know a thing about it.
141
00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:07,674
Listen to this, Marilyn:
142
00:09:07,747 --> 00:09:09,943
"I am enchanted beyond belief
143
00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:12,042
"Having you to fill my dreams
144
00:09:12,118 --> 00:09:16,112
"My life was nothing until your sweet
presence breathed the breath of love...
145
00:09:16,189 --> 00:09:17,748
"Into my soul."
146
00:09:18,491 --> 00:09:20,926
Are you sure that that's
Uncle Herman's handwriting?
147
00:09:20,994 --> 00:09:23,520
Yes, it is. I found
this in the lab.
148
00:09:23,596 --> 00:09:25,326
Well, I think it's sweet.
149
00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:28,664
He's writing a love poem
to you after all these years?
150
00:09:28,735 --> 00:09:31,261
How do I know he didn't write
this for some other woman?
151
00:09:31,337 --> 00:09:32,566
Uncle Herman?
152
00:09:32,639 --> 00:09:36,132
He's so proper and loyal,
and... What's that word?
153
00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:40,341
Square. Exactly... but
in a very sweet way.
154
00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:45,776
I guess it would be terrible of
me to accuse him, if I was wrong.
155
00:09:45,852 --> 00:09:49,016
But if he did write these
beautiful love words for me...
156
00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:51,718
he'll be sure to mention it
soon. Of course he will, Aunt Lily.
157
00:09:51,791 --> 00:09:53,123
I think it's so romantic.
158
00:09:53,193 --> 00:09:56,220
And if the sweet dear
doesn't mention it to me...
159
00:09:56,296 --> 00:10:00,256
I intend to remain calm and
adult about this whole thing.
160
00:10:00,333 --> 00:10:01,767
Now, do you really mean that?
161
00:10:01,835 --> 00:10:06,205
Of course not. I'll
kill him! I'll kill him...
162
00:10:10,376 --> 00:10:12,845
"The breath of
love into my soul"
163
00:10:15,715 --> 00:10:18,583
Ann, this is the most romantic
thing that's ever happened to me.
164
00:10:18,651 --> 00:10:21,018
Do you mean that Clyde
actually sent you that love letter?
165
00:10:21,087 --> 00:10:23,955
That skinny little shrimp
you said you met on the bus?
166
00:10:24,023 --> 00:10:26,356
It's his signature right there.
167
00:10:26,593 --> 00:10:28,186
You know something?
168
00:10:28,261 --> 00:10:29,593
I think I'm in love.
169
00:10:29,662 --> 00:10:31,790
But, Clara, you said this
Clyde was kind of creepy.
170
00:10:31,865 --> 00:10:33,993
You said he even
reminded you of the man...
171
00:10:34,067 --> 00:10:36,696
the Board of Health sent
around when our monkey died.
172
00:10:37,737 --> 00:10:40,536
You know, I wouldn't care
if he looked like a monster.
173
00:10:40,607 --> 00:10:43,133
Any man who can write
a love letter like that...
174
00:10:43,209 --> 00:10:45,075
that's the man for me.
175
00:10:47,747 --> 00:10:50,216
He must have a
truly beautiful soul.
176
00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:53,544
Well, Herman, did
you enjoy the fish?
177
00:10:54,053 --> 00:10:56,579
The sole? I certainly did, dear.
178
00:10:56,656 --> 00:11:00,286
There's nothing I like better
than a truly beautiful sole.
179
00:11:02,328 --> 00:11:05,321
Well, I've got to hurry. I'm
dropping by to see Clyde.
180
00:11:06,966 --> 00:11:08,400
Clyde again?
181
00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:10,061
Why?
182
00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:12,703
We sit around and talk shop.
183
00:11:12,772 --> 00:11:15,139
He's been at the parlor
a long time, you know?
184
00:11:15,208 --> 00:11:17,973
He really knows
where the body's buried.
185
00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:31,685
He didn't even mention the...
186
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:35,355
L-E-T-T-E-R.
187
00:11:36,596 --> 00:11:39,657
You're absolutely R-I-G-H-T.
188
00:11:39,732 --> 00:11:42,361
I better not find out
he's becoming a...
189
00:11:42,635 --> 00:11:45,503
P-H-I-L-A-N...
190
00:11:46,472 --> 00:11:47,531
A-N...
191
00:11:47,607 --> 00:11:49,701
I don't know what you
guys are talking about...
192
00:11:49,776 --> 00:11:53,872
but "philanderer" is spelled
P-H-I-L-A-N-D-E-R-E-R.
193
00:11:57,283 --> 00:11:59,843
Yeah, no, Clyde, Herman
left some time ago.
194
00:11:59,919 --> 00:12:02,650
But I got a date to take
my girl to Lovers' Lane...
195
00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:05,817
and he was coming over here
with some more love poems.
196
00:12:05,892 --> 00:12:07,360
I gotta leave now.
197
00:12:07,427 --> 00:12:09,589
Sorry, Clyde. I guess
you'll just have to get by...
198
00:12:09,662 --> 00:12:11,631
on your own personality.
199
00:12:12,198 --> 00:12:13,257
Bye.
200
00:12:14,334 --> 00:12:16,769
Now, why did he
have to say that?
201
00:12:16,836 --> 00:12:18,964
I'm nervous enough as it is.
202
00:12:19,872 --> 00:12:22,706
I got it. I'll leave
a note for Herman.
203
00:12:25,845 --> 00:12:27,746
Aunt Lily, is the garbage
disposal working?
204
00:12:27,814 --> 00:12:30,113
Yes, dear. He's out there.
205
00:12:38,424 --> 00:12:39,983
Good boy, Spot.
206
00:12:43,529 --> 00:12:46,658
Marilyn, the
more I think of it...
207
00:12:46,733 --> 00:12:48,463
the angrier I get.
208
00:12:48,534 --> 00:12:50,526
Herman not
mentioning that letter...
209
00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:52,936
and then going over
to Clyde's again tonight.
210
00:12:53,006 --> 00:12:55,771
I'm really beginning
to get suspicious now.
211
00:12:55,842 --> 00:12:59,006
But Uncle Herman interested
in another girl, at his age?
212
00:12:59,078 --> 00:13:02,139
I mean, he's over 150 years old.
213
00:13:02,215 --> 00:13:04,411
Age has nothing to do with it.
214
00:13:04,584 --> 00:13:08,783
There's an ancient Transylvanian
proverb we used to have in the old country:
215
00:13:08,855 --> 00:13:12,155
"Always put the shortest
chain on the oldest wolf."
216
00:13:15,028 --> 00:13:17,497
"Have taken my
girl to Lovers' Lane.
217
00:13:17,563 --> 00:13:20,863
"Meet me there. I am
desperate. Your friend, Clyde.
218
00:13:21,934 --> 00:13:25,029
"P.S. If I lose Clara,
I will kill myself."
219
00:13:26,873 --> 00:13:28,671
Well, if he does that...
220
00:13:28,741 --> 00:13:31,973
I'm sure Mr. Gateman will
give him the employee discount.
221
00:13:32,578 --> 00:13:34,240
Lovers' Lane.
222
00:13:34,580 --> 00:13:35,580
Hmm.
223
00:13:37,950 --> 00:13:39,441
Good evening.
224
00:13:53,366 --> 00:13:56,495
Come on, Clyde, look
at this romantic setting.
225
00:13:56,903 --> 00:13:59,065
This should provide
the perfect inspiration...
226
00:13:59,138 --> 00:14:01,334
for you to recite some
of that beautiful poetry.
227
00:14:01,407 --> 00:14:04,206
But, Clara, I'm not
really in the mood.
228
00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:08,508
Clyde, what on earth
is the matter with you?
229
00:14:08,581 --> 00:14:11,774
Well, you see, I...
230
00:14:14,554 --> 00:14:16,318
I'll be right back.
231
00:14:16,923 --> 00:14:19,825
I always get my inspiration
when I walk around.
232
00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:28,528
Herman, am I glad you're here.
233
00:14:28,601 --> 00:14:31,571
Quick, shoot me some of that love
poetry, while she's still in the mood.
234
00:14:31,637 --> 00:14:32,637
Here you go:
235
00:14:32,705 --> 00:14:35,869
"Your lips are ruby red
Your skin is pearly white
236
00:14:36,075 --> 00:14:38,237
"My flames of love you've fed
237
00:14:38,311 --> 00:14:40,109
"I love you day and night."
238
00:14:40,179 --> 00:14:43,149
Lips ruby red, skin pearly
white, flames fed, day and night.
239
00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:45,242
I've got it. Don't go away!
240
00:14:49,188 --> 00:14:51,214
"Your lips are ruby red
241
00:14:51,290 --> 00:14:53,156
"Your skin is pearly white
242
00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:55,888
"My flames of love you've fed
243
00:14:55,962 --> 00:14:58,397
"I... I..." Yes?
244
00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:00,491
Yes?
245
00:15:01,868 --> 00:15:03,234
Excuse me.
246
00:15:06,172 --> 00:15:08,004
What's the last line?
247
00:15:09,175 --> 00:15:11,201
"I love you day and night"
248
00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:16,674
"I love you day and night"
249
00:15:17,016 --> 00:15:18,245
Now can we smooch?
250
00:15:18,317 --> 00:15:20,582
Not yet. Recite me another one.
251
00:15:20,953 --> 00:15:22,785
You want another one?
252
00:15:24,390 --> 00:15:27,155
Well, inspiration time again.
253
00:15:31,397 --> 00:15:35,300
Quick, Herman, shoot me another
poem. She's really in the mood.
254
00:15:38,204 --> 00:15:42,073
"Our love is as the rose is
You are the petal, I'm the thorn
255
00:15:42,141 --> 00:15:44,337
I really poured my
heart into this one.
256
00:15:44,410 --> 00:15:45,935
Go, Clyde, go.
257
00:15:50,650 --> 00:15:52,983
Clyde, where do you keep
going when you keep...
258
00:15:53,052 --> 00:15:55,146
"Our love is as the rose is
259
00:15:55,221 --> 00:15:57,952
"You're the petal, I'm the thorn
260
00:15:58,024 --> 00:16:00,459
"So let's start rubbing noses
261
00:16:00,526 --> 00:16:03,189
"'Cause I can't tell
right from wrong."
262
00:16:03,863 --> 00:16:06,059
Clyde, kiss me, you fool.
263
00:16:06,132 --> 00:16:07,998
I'll be right back.
264
00:16:13,239 --> 00:16:15,003
"The sky is blue above me" No!
265
00:16:15,074 --> 00:16:17,202
"The mountains,
too, are blue" No!
266
00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:19,472
"When I'm with you..." I
don't need any more, Herman.
267
00:16:19,545 --> 00:16:23,038
That did it. Thanks a
lot. You can go now.
268
00:16:23,583 --> 00:16:25,814
You sure? Absolutely.
269
00:16:26,452 --> 00:16:27,818
Well, okay.
270
00:16:28,254 --> 00:16:29,415
You're on your own.
271
00:16:42,168 --> 00:16:44,831
One more poem, Clyde.
You broke the spell.
272
00:16:45,171 --> 00:16:46,662
One more?
273
00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:49,807
But I... Come on. Please?
274
00:16:53,212 --> 00:16:55,078
"Roses are red
275
00:16:56,549 --> 00:17:00,145
"Violets are pink
276
00:17:00,586 --> 00:17:02,384
"I'm in love with you
277
00:17:02,655 --> 00:17:03,918
"I think?"
278
00:17:03,990 --> 00:17:06,983
That's nothing like the
ones you've been reciting.
279
00:17:07,059 --> 00:17:09,460
Well, that was
a different style.
280
00:17:10,463 --> 00:17:13,433
Clyde, have you been hiding a
book of poetry out in those bushes?
281
00:17:13,499 --> 00:17:16,594
Oh, no. Then where did
you get all those words?
282
00:17:16,669 --> 00:17:20,566
Well... I may as well tell you.
283
00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:24,236
It was a friend of mine
out there, Herman Munster.
284
00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:28,140
He's the one who wrote
the letter and the poems.
285
00:17:28,214 --> 00:17:29,910
Herman Munster.
286
00:17:30,283 --> 00:17:32,752
What a poetic
ring. Get him for me.
287
00:17:34,487 --> 00:17:36,080
I sent him away.
288
00:17:37,623 --> 00:17:39,148
Clyde, I have a
terrible headache.
289
00:17:39,225 --> 00:17:41,217
Would you mind taking me home?
290
00:17:49,001 --> 00:17:51,766
You broke up with Clyde, and
now you want me to drive you over...
291
00:17:51,837 --> 00:17:53,477
to some man's house
you've never even met?
292
00:17:53,539 --> 00:17:55,508
That's right. His name
is Herman Munster.
293
00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:58,306
And I looked up his address,
and I've fallen in love with him...
294
00:17:58,377 --> 00:18:01,040
through those wonderful letters
and poems that he wrote for Clyde.
295
00:18:01,113 --> 00:18:03,241
You've really flipped over
this Herman, haven't you?
296
00:18:03,316 --> 00:18:04,841
It's my destiny.
297
00:18:06,218 --> 00:18:10,019
I think I've finally found my Prince
Charming and I'm gonna meet him tonight.
298
00:18:11,691 --> 00:18:13,819
Are you really going
over to Clyde's?
299
00:18:13,893 --> 00:18:15,452
I certainly am.
300
00:18:16,629 --> 00:18:20,930
I think that Herman is meeting his
female pen pal at Clyde's apartment.
301
00:18:21,167 --> 00:18:24,001
What will you do if
you find out it's true?
302
00:18:24,070 --> 00:18:25,595
What will I do?
303
00:18:25,972 --> 00:18:27,565
I will take Herman apart...
304
00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:31,771
so that even Dr. Frankenstein
couldn't put him back together again.
305
00:18:33,579 --> 00:18:35,207
But, Aunt Lily...
306
00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:40,647
All right, explain
it to me, Grandpa.
307
00:18:41,721 --> 00:18:45,852
Lily's not here, but she's circled
Clyde's address in the phone book.
308
00:18:46,559 --> 00:18:48,323
Now, why would she do that?
309
00:18:48,394 --> 00:18:50,022
Don't you get it?
310
00:18:50,763 --> 00:18:53,562
Clyde told me he
met a girl on a bus.
311
00:18:53,766 --> 00:18:55,257
Right? Right.
312
00:18:55,401 --> 00:18:58,667
But Clyde never told me the
name of the girl he met on a bus.
313
00:18:58,738 --> 00:19:00,263
Right? Right.
314
00:19:00,406 --> 00:19:03,240
Every day, Lily takes
the bus to go shopping.
315
00:19:03,309 --> 00:19:04,800
Right? Right.
316
00:19:05,111 --> 00:19:09,014
And Lily acts very funny every
time I mention the name of Clyde!
317
00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:11,841
Hmm.
318
00:19:11,917 --> 00:19:13,215
So...
319
00:19:13,786 --> 00:19:16,153
viz., to wit, and ergo...
320
00:19:16,389 --> 00:19:18,517
the girl on the bus is Lily.
321
00:19:19,125 --> 00:19:23,586
And I've been helping sly old
Clyde romance her with my letters!
322
00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:27,125
Herman, you really think so?
323
00:19:27,199 --> 00:19:29,964
I know so. I know
how these things work.
324
00:19:30,803 --> 00:19:33,238
I read Dear Abby every morning.
325
00:19:33,472 --> 00:19:35,634
Now, assuming that
any of this is true...
326
00:19:35,708 --> 00:19:38,439
Herman, what do
you plan to do about it?
327
00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:40,909
I plan to confront Clyde.
328
00:19:43,282 --> 00:19:45,114
And so, farewell.
329
00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:49,053
I am going to sally forth into
the night and punish the guilty.
330
00:19:49,255 --> 00:19:52,453
And restore the treasured
sanctity of my marriage.
331
00:19:53,592 --> 00:19:56,118
A man like this deserves
to be horsewhipped.
332
00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:58,164
Thoroughly horsewhipped!
333
00:20:08,274 --> 00:20:10,300
What's the matter, Sir Lancelot?
334
00:20:11,410 --> 00:20:13,606
I forgot my crummy horsewhip.
335
00:20:16,282 --> 00:20:18,979
Herman Munster, I
know you're in there!
336
00:20:21,353 --> 00:20:23,447
He's not here!
337
00:20:24,990 --> 00:20:26,481
Where is he, Clyde?
338
00:20:26,559 --> 00:20:28,892
Where is my two-timing husband?
339
00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:31,997
But I keep telling you, Mrs.
Munster, Herman isn't here.
340
00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:33,464
Don't you cover up for him!
341
00:20:33,532 --> 00:20:35,797
Where's that girl he's
been writing love letters to?
342
00:20:35,868 --> 00:20:39,566
Herman wasn't writing letters for
himself, he was writing them for me.
343
00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:43,300
I think I'm getting a nosebleed.
You'll get something worse...
344
00:20:43,375 --> 00:20:47,335
than a nosebleed if you don't give
me the lowdown on playboy Munster.
345
00:20:49,648 --> 00:20:53,608
Tonight my girlfriend claimed she
had a headache and she ditched me.
346
00:20:53,686 --> 00:20:56,178
You don't suppose
she and Herman...
347
00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:59,384
I don't know, but you'd
better come with me.
348
00:20:59,458 --> 00:21:02,622
That big goofball may
owe us both an explanation.
349
00:21:03,395 --> 00:21:06,888
Wait a minute, Mrs. Munster!
Can't you let go of my ear, now?
350
00:21:16,542 --> 00:21:18,101
Is this Herman Munster's house?
351
00:21:18,177 --> 00:21:20,703
This is it. 1313
Mockingbird Lane.
352
00:21:21,781 --> 00:21:23,272
This is just the
kind of place...
353
00:21:23,349 --> 00:21:26,251
I would expect my mysterious
romantic writer to live in.
354
00:21:26,318 --> 00:21:28,583
I guess the place looks
a lot better in the daytime.
355
00:21:28,654 --> 00:21:30,145
Ann, I'm so excited.
356
00:21:30,222 --> 00:21:32,885
Hey, thanks for driving me.
Are you really gonna go through...
357
00:21:32,958 --> 00:21:35,427
with this nutty plan? Just like
I saw in a Doris Day movie...
358
00:21:35,494 --> 00:21:37,895
I'm gonna walk up to the
door, I'm gonna knock on it...
359
00:21:37,963 --> 00:21:41,024
I'm gonna close my eyes and
I'm gonna embrace my dream man.
360
00:21:41,100 --> 00:21:45,435
Good luck. Hey, if he's really good-looking
maybe he'll have someone for me, too.
361
00:21:47,740 --> 00:21:49,641
Where's the horsewhip?
362
00:21:57,716 --> 00:21:59,708
No, I couldn't use that.
363
00:22:05,524 --> 00:22:07,720
No, that's not the horsewhip.
364
00:22:14,934 --> 00:22:16,835
No, it would kill him.
365
00:22:18,337 --> 00:22:20,169
One crummy horsewhip.
366
00:22:20,940 --> 00:22:23,341
Well, I'll just have to go
over to Clyde's place...
367
00:22:23,409 --> 00:22:26,379
and bust up this eternal
triangle with my bare hands.
368
00:22:33,619 --> 00:22:36,453
Don't say a word. Just
take me in your arms.
369
00:23:04,750 --> 00:23:06,912
You big gigolo, you!
370
00:23:06,986 --> 00:23:10,252
But... Don't you dare
speak to me ever again!
371
00:23:10,322 --> 00:23:13,952
But, what, me? Lily, what are
you doing with my best friend?
372
00:23:14,026 --> 00:23:17,463
And what were you doing
with your arms around my girl?
373
00:23:26,705 --> 00:23:31,040
This kind of thing could be very
disturbing to a man of my sensitive nature.
374
00:23:36,548 --> 00:23:39,450
So, you see, dear,
it's just like Clyde said.
375
00:23:39,718 --> 00:23:43,314
I wrote all those love letters
for him to give to his girl.
376
00:23:43,389 --> 00:23:47,087
But I never thought she'd find out
who it was and come all unglued.
377
00:23:47,459 --> 00:23:50,452
Well, I guess
that explains it all.
378
00:23:52,264 --> 00:23:56,258
I suppose it was silly of me,
getting so upset in the first place.
379
00:23:56,435 --> 00:23:58,904
I agree, Aunt Lily. So do I.
380
00:23:59,238 --> 00:24:02,868
After all, no girl would ever go
for that stale poetry Herman wrote.
381
00:24:02,942 --> 00:24:06,003
It's rancid, absolutely rancid.
382
00:24:06,445 --> 00:24:08,471
I don't know about that.
383
00:24:09,181 --> 00:24:12,481
I thought I had one line
there that was pretty good:
384
00:24:14,353 --> 00:24:16,151
"My life was nothing
385
00:24:17,623 --> 00:24:19,956
"Until your sweet presence..."
386
00:24:23,395 --> 00:24:26,229
"My life was nothing
until your sweet..."
387
00:24:30,636 --> 00:24:31,968
Maybe Grandpa is right.
388
00:24:32,037 --> 00:24:35,007
My poetry is so rancid, I
can't even remember it.
389
00:24:35,541 --> 00:24:38,841
"My life was nothing until
your sweet presence..."
390
00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:45,074
"Until your sweet presence
breathed the breath of love
391
00:24:45,484 --> 00:24:47,510
"Into my soul."
392
00:24:47,953 --> 00:24:50,650
Lily. You remembered it.
393
00:24:51,090 --> 00:24:52,786
Of course, Herman.
394
00:24:52,925 --> 00:24:56,054
And I don't think your
poetry is rancid at all.
395
00:24:58,530 --> 00:25:01,932
Dear, that's the sweetest
thing you've ever said to me.
396
00:25:03,068 --> 00:25:05,037
Thank you, sugar fangs.
30679
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