Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,283 --> 00:00:02,850
[?]
2
00:00:02,851 --> 00:00:04,453
Major Nelson.
3
00:00:04,454 --> 00:00:07,589
You're gonna be surprised
by what I'm about to say,
4
00:00:07,590 --> 00:00:08,789
but I want you to understand
5
00:00:08,790 --> 00:00:12,560
that the need for secrecy
is imperative.
6
00:00:12,561 --> 00:00:15,263
Absolutely imperative.
7
00:00:19,601 --> 00:00:22,104
There's a security leak
at this base.
8
00:00:22,105 --> 00:00:23,455
A security leak?
9
00:00:23,456 --> 00:00:25,307
You mean, a spy?
10
00:00:25,308 --> 00:00:27,392
Well... Well, where? How?
Have you caught him yet?
11
00:00:27,393 --> 00:00:28,860
No, we have not caught him.
12
00:00:28,861 --> 00:00:30,561
We don't even know who he is.
13
00:00:31,447 --> 00:00:34,499
All we know is
that they're after
14
00:00:34,500 --> 00:00:38,670
your new modification plan
of the Apollo 12 capsule.
15
00:00:38,671 --> 00:00:40,439
Apollo 12?
Mmm.
16
00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:42,707
That's the most closely-guarded
secret on this base.
17
00:00:42,708 --> 00:00:45,077
There must be some kind
of precautions we can take.
18
00:00:45,078 --> 00:00:46,711
Exactly.
Therefore, General Peterson
19
00:00:46,712 --> 00:00:48,129
has decided to remove you
20
00:00:48,130 --> 00:00:50,582
from the base until
you've finished your design.
21
00:00:50,583 --> 00:00:52,366
An excellent idea, sir.
Where'll I be going?
22
00:00:52,367 --> 00:00:53,685
Well, I don't know.
23
00:00:53,686 --> 00:00:57,121
The location has to be selected
by the Computer Section.
24
00:00:57,122 --> 00:00:59,057
It'll even be kept a secret
from you.
25
00:00:59,058 --> 00:01:00,492
That's wise. That's very wise.
26
00:01:00,493 --> 00:01:02,794
And that way, I won't be able
to give away the location,
27
00:01:02,795 --> 00:01:04,229
even by a slip of the tongue.
28
00:01:04,230 --> 00:01:05,814
I'm glad you're in agreement,
major,
29
00:01:05,815 --> 00:01:07,482
because you're to leave now.
30
00:01:07,483 --> 00:01:10,118
Now?
That's right.
31
00:01:10,119 --> 00:01:11,319
[SIGHS]
32
00:01:11,320 --> 00:01:13,654
Oh, uh, come in, men.
33
00:01:13,655 --> 00:01:16,458
Uh, I can go home and, uh,
pick up a few things, sir,
34
00:01:16,459 --> 00:01:18,059
and throw 'em in a bag
and be on my way...
35
00:01:18,060 --> 00:01:20,628
You, uh, don't seem
to understand, major.
36
00:01:20,629 --> 00:01:23,764
Now means now.
37
00:01:24,333 --> 00:01:26,067
Get in.
38
00:01:26,068 --> 00:01:27,835
In there?
39
00:01:27,836 --> 00:01:30,005
Uh, sir, there are arrangements
I'd have to make...
40
00:01:30,006 --> 00:01:32,007
That's all been taken care of.
41
00:01:32,008 --> 00:01:34,259
Now, good luck, major.
42
00:01:34,260 --> 00:01:36,527
But, sir, if... If I could just
make a phone call...
43
00:01:36,528 --> 00:01:38,430
There we are.
Now...
44
00:01:38,431 --> 00:01:41,415
Dr. Bellows, if I could
make one phone call...
45
00:01:41,416 --> 00:01:42,851
Take him away, men.
46
00:01:44,119 --> 00:01:45,359
Easy.
47
00:01:47,756 --> 00:01:48,973
Mm-hm.
48
00:01:51,277 --> 00:01:53,461
You can come out now.
49
00:01:53,462 --> 00:01:55,529
Major Nelson is gone.
50
00:02:02,537 --> 00:02:04,005
Perfect.
51
00:02:04,006 --> 00:02:07,608
Absolutely perfect.
52
00:02:12,665 --> 00:02:14,349
[?]
53
00:03:01,247 --> 00:03:03,181
[?]
54
00:03:07,285 --> 00:03:09,254
All right, Pomfret, that was
your first real peek
55
00:03:09,255 --> 00:03:11,605
at Major Nelson,
other than films.
56
00:03:11,606 --> 00:03:13,308
What'd you think?
57
00:03:13,309 --> 00:03:15,109
[NASALLY VOICE]
An uncomplicated type.
58
00:03:15,110 --> 00:03:17,678
You were wise in not telling him
where he was going.
59
00:03:17,679 --> 00:03:20,381
I doubt if he could keep
a secret from anybody.
60
00:03:20,382 --> 00:03:23,884
Oh, by the way, where is
this secret destination?
61
00:03:23,885 --> 00:03:25,119
I don't know,
62
00:03:25,120 --> 00:03:27,405
and, uh, there's no need
for you to know either.
63
00:03:27,406 --> 00:03:29,658
Uh, now then, Pomfret.
64
00:03:29,659 --> 00:03:31,826
From the moment
you leave this office,
65
00:03:31,827 --> 00:03:35,330
you are Major Anthony Nelson.
66
00:03:35,331 --> 00:03:38,149
Don't worry, sir. No one could
possibly penetrate my cover.
67
00:03:38,150 --> 00:03:40,635
Then stop talking like that.
68
00:03:40,636 --> 00:03:44,005
You've had ample time to study
the films of Major Nelson.
69
00:03:44,006 --> 00:03:46,391
Oh, and there's, uh,
one thing to remember:
70
00:03:46,392 --> 00:03:48,109
To avoid Major Healey
as much as possible.
71
00:03:48,110 --> 00:03:49,944
And I'd advise you
to spend a lot of time
72
00:03:49,945 --> 00:03:52,347
at Major Nelson's house.
73
00:03:52,348 --> 00:03:55,065
Since he lives there alone,
there won't be any danger.
74
00:03:55,066 --> 00:03:57,769
Understood.
Shall I assume my duties now?
75
00:03:57,770 --> 00:03:59,303
Right.
76
00:03:59,304 --> 00:04:00,438
Very observant.
77
00:04:00,439 --> 00:04:02,540
[?]
78
00:04:02,541 --> 00:04:04,392
Oh, by the way, Dr. Bellows,
79
00:04:04,393 --> 00:04:06,444
I wonder if I could use
your phone, sir.
80
00:04:06,445 --> 00:04:10,314
Now, Major Nelson, I've told you
before about this pho...
81
00:04:10,315 --> 00:04:13,585
See? I even had you fooled
for a second.
82
00:04:13,586 --> 00:04:16,570
I've noticed that Major Nelson
looks very worried around you.
83
00:04:19,925 --> 00:04:21,526
[WHISTLING]
84
00:04:23,194 --> 00:04:24,796
Excuse me, sir.
85
00:04:24,797 --> 00:04:26,798
Moving out the skeleton
in somebody's closet?
86
00:04:26,799 --> 00:04:27,932
[CHUCKLES]
87
00:04:27,933 --> 00:04:30,185
[BANG]
88
00:04:30,186 --> 00:04:31,836
Some room in there.
Ha, ha, ha.
89
00:04:31,837 --> 00:04:34,157
"Skeleton
in somebody's closet."
90
00:04:36,075 --> 00:04:37,942
[WHISTLING]
91
00:04:37,943 --> 00:04:39,143
Hi, Roge.
92
00:04:40,446 --> 00:04:41,545
Hi, Tony.
How are you?
93
00:04:41,546 --> 00:04:43,714
Oh, listen.
Uh, about that top-secret.
94
00:04:43,715 --> 00:04:46,084
Uh, there's been
a little change.
95
00:04:46,085 --> 00:04:47,418
Top-secret?
96
00:04:47,419 --> 00:04:49,653
Yeah. Here's, uh...
Here's tonight's menu.
97
00:04:49,654 --> 00:04:51,255
I decided
on truffled, uh, grouse
98
00:04:51,256 --> 00:04:53,557
instead of
the tournedos Rossini.
99
00:04:53,558 --> 00:04:56,627
Um, what's the menu for, Roge?
100
00:04:56,628 --> 00:04:58,863
It's the menu
for tonight's dinner.
101
00:04:58,864 --> 00:05:02,433
Oh, tonight's dinner, yes.
Sure, at your place, eh?
102
00:05:02,434 --> 00:05:05,202
At my place? You know I couldn't
cook a dinner like that.
103
00:05:05,203 --> 00:05:06,604
I'll see you at 7, huh?
104
00:05:06,605 --> 00:05:08,672
Right you are, Roge. Seven.
Okay.
105
00:05:09,841 --> 00:05:11,809
[SIGHS]
106
00:05:11,810 --> 00:05:14,312
"Oysters Rockefeller,
truffled grouse,
107
00:05:14,313 --> 00:05:17,448
"baked Alaska and Persian melon
108
00:05:17,449 --> 00:05:19,283
from Persia."
109
00:05:20,603 --> 00:05:22,253
and baked Alaska.
110
00:05:22,254 --> 00:05:25,122
But you didn't tell me
Nelson was a gourmet cook.
111
00:05:25,123 --> 00:05:27,458
Research must have
slipped up on that.
112
00:05:27,459 --> 00:05:28,926
Well, it can't be helped.
113
00:05:28,927 --> 00:05:32,329
You'll have to prepare
the dinner Major Healey expects.
114
00:05:32,330 --> 00:05:33,815
Can you do it?
Positive.
115
00:05:33,816 --> 00:05:35,233
I once impersonated a chef
116
00:05:35,234 --> 00:05:37,702
who was a secret agent
for de Gaulle.
117
00:05:39,004 --> 00:05:40,854
[?]
118
00:05:45,544 --> 00:05:47,011
Is this really necessary?
119
00:05:47,012 --> 00:05:49,481
Sorry, sir.
Orders.
120
00:05:49,482 --> 00:05:51,282
Even the plane goes
on automatic pilot
121
00:05:51,283 --> 00:05:52,650
when we reach our destination.
122
00:05:52,651 --> 00:05:55,219
But nobody's gonna
know where we are.
123
00:05:55,220 --> 00:05:58,055
There's one thing I know.
We're going fast.
124
00:05:58,056 --> 00:05:59,357
It's all that time in orbit.
125
00:05:59,358 --> 00:06:01,393
Gives 'em an incredible sense
of direction.
126
00:06:01,394 --> 00:06:03,027
Yeah.
127
00:06:03,028 --> 00:06:05,029
Stand up, please, major.
Huh?
128
00:06:05,030 --> 00:06:07,632
We're gonna do something
about that sense of direction.
129
00:06:07,633 --> 00:06:09,818
Oh.
130
00:06:09,819 --> 00:06:11,719
[?]
131
00:06:16,125 --> 00:06:17,885
[MUTTERING] Baked Alaska...
132
00:06:18,761 --> 00:06:20,662
[GRUNTS]
133
00:06:25,484 --> 00:06:27,252
Oh!
134
00:06:27,253 --> 00:06:29,053
My poor master.
135
00:06:29,054 --> 00:06:30,404
Oh, your head.
Are you all right?
136
00:06:30,405 --> 00:06:32,473
Yeah. Who are you?
137
00:06:32,474 --> 00:06:35,676
Oh. He does not even
remember my name.
138
00:06:35,677 --> 00:06:37,078
I am your Jeannie.
139
00:06:37,079 --> 00:06:38,679
What?!
Oh.
140
00:06:39,849 --> 00:06:42,416
Oh, there, there, there.
My poor master.
141
00:06:42,417 --> 00:06:44,886
Do not worry.
I will make you well again.
142
00:06:44,887 --> 00:06:47,322
Uh, all right. I'm all right.
143
00:06:47,323 --> 00:06:48,857
I'm... I'm fine, miss.
144
00:06:48,858 --> 00:06:52,026
Jeannie. Do you not even
remember my name?
145
00:06:52,027 --> 00:06:54,963
Oh, of course I do.
Yes, of course I do.
146
00:06:54,964 --> 00:06:57,065
Huh. I'll be fine, Jeannie.
147
00:06:57,066 --> 00:07:00,668
You just, uh, go on and do,
uh, what you usually do.
148
00:07:00,669 --> 00:07:03,037
Oh, thank Allah.
Heh.
149
00:07:03,038 --> 00:07:05,639
Well, you see, today is
my usual day for housecleaning,
150
00:07:05,640 --> 00:07:07,342
but I did not expect you
so early.
151
00:07:07,343 --> 00:07:08,809
But I will be finished
in a trice.
152
00:07:08,810 --> 00:07:09,970
[GIGGLES]
153
00:07:13,249 --> 00:07:14,515
Oh, right.
154
00:07:14,516 --> 00:07:16,217
Nelson's maid.
155
00:07:17,987 --> 00:07:19,804
In that outfit?
156
00:07:19,805 --> 00:07:21,655
[?]
157
00:07:25,060 --> 00:07:26,227
Master?
158
00:07:26,228 --> 00:07:27,612
What are you doing?
159
00:07:27,613 --> 00:07:29,713
Oh, just truffling a grouse.
160
00:07:29,714 --> 00:07:32,784
Uh, Rockefellering
some oysters, you know.
161
00:07:32,785 --> 00:07:34,402
I do?
[CHUCKLES]
162
00:07:34,403 --> 00:07:36,821
You haven't been around long
enough to see me in action.
163
00:07:36,822 --> 00:07:38,490
Master, what is the matter?
164
00:07:38,491 --> 00:07:42,193
Matter? Ma...? Nothing.
Absolutely nothing's the matter.
165
00:07:42,194 --> 00:07:44,295
Why don't you go finish
your housework, hm?
166
00:07:44,296 --> 00:07:46,164
I have finished.
167
00:07:46,165 --> 00:07:49,050
Well, how could you finish?
You just started.
168
00:07:49,051 --> 00:07:51,386
See for yourself.
169
00:07:51,387 --> 00:07:53,221
No. I... I believe you.
170
00:07:53,222 --> 00:07:54,556
I believe you.
171
00:07:54,557 --> 00:07:56,257
Well, I'll see you next time.
172
00:07:56,926 --> 00:07:58,793
Next time?
173
00:07:58,794 --> 00:08:02,713
Yes. Oh, I am sorry. I forgot...
My hands are a little sticky.
174
00:08:02,714 --> 00:08:03,848
I forgot to pay you.
175
00:08:03,849 --> 00:08:06,617
Here, just... Just take
whatever I owe you, huh?
176
00:08:06,618 --> 00:08:08,186
Pay me?
177
00:08:08,920 --> 00:08:10,788
Oh!
178
00:08:10,789 --> 00:08:12,690
Oh, master!
179
00:08:16,812 --> 00:08:19,731
Now, what on earth
is the matter with her?
180
00:08:19,732 --> 00:08:22,800
I tell you, the servant problem
these days is something else.
181
00:08:22,801 --> 00:08:23,801
[SNIFFS]
182
00:08:25,004 --> 00:08:27,255
[POTS BANGING]
183
00:08:27,256 --> 00:08:28,957
Oh!
184
00:08:29,691 --> 00:08:31,359
Pay me?
185
00:08:32,761 --> 00:08:34,128
[RUMBLING]
186
00:08:41,103 --> 00:08:42,169
Jeannie.
187
00:08:48,877 --> 00:08:50,678
What a time for an earthquake.
188
00:08:52,064 --> 00:08:54,899
[?]
189
00:08:54,900 --> 00:08:57,985
Hey, listen, fellas, when you
get back to the base,
190
00:08:57,986 --> 00:08:59,286
would you do me a favor?
191
00:08:59,287 --> 00:09:00,821
Uh, if you call my house,
please,
192
00:09:00,822 --> 00:09:02,857
and tell... my maid
193
00:09:02,858 --> 00:09:04,391
that I won't be home
for a while.
194
00:09:04,392 --> 00:09:07,695
Sorry, major. No communications
from you are allowed.
195
00:09:07,696 --> 00:09:09,063
Yeah, but this is important.
196
00:09:09,064 --> 00:09:11,666
One step backward, please.
Oh, all right, but I...
197
00:09:11,667 --> 00:09:13,100
[SCREAMS]
198
00:09:17,306 --> 00:09:19,173
Sure is a beautiful place.
199
00:09:19,174 --> 00:09:20,941
I'd love to take
a vacation there.
200
00:09:20,942 --> 00:09:22,910
You'll wanna take
at least a week.
201
00:09:22,911 --> 00:09:24,729
[BOTH LAUGH]
202
00:09:24,730 --> 00:09:27,314
Tony, I'm here.
203
00:09:27,315 --> 00:09:29,550
Boy, I'm so hungry
I could eat a bear.
204
00:09:37,325 --> 00:09:38,459
Oh, hi, Jeannie.
205
00:09:38,460 --> 00:09:39,694
[SOBS]
206
00:09:39,695 --> 00:09:41,295
Oh, what's the...?
What's the matter?
207
00:09:41,296 --> 00:09:43,397
[CRYING]
208
00:09:43,398 --> 00:09:46,734
I... I do not know what is
the matter, Major Healey.
209
00:09:46,735 --> 00:09:50,204
It is my master.
He is acting so strangely.
210
00:09:50,205 --> 00:09:52,339
He... He...
211
00:09:52,340 --> 00:09:55,743
He offered to pay me
for cleaning the house!
212
00:09:55,744 --> 00:09:57,745
Oh, I don't blame you.
213
00:09:57,746 --> 00:10:00,965
He's been getting free
maid service for a long time.
214
00:10:00,966 --> 00:10:03,533
[JEANNIE CRYING]
ROGER: Oh, now, take it easy.
215
00:10:03,534 --> 00:10:06,170
Whoa, that's all right.
Take it easy.
216
00:10:06,171 --> 00:10:08,640
Aw, aw, pumpkin.
217
00:10:08,641 --> 00:10:09,957
Aw.
[SOBBING]
218
00:10:09,958 --> 00:10:11,292
Aw.
219
00:10:12,728 --> 00:10:13,995
Oh.
220
00:10:13,996 --> 00:10:15,963
That's his girlfriend.
221
00:10:15,964 --> 00:10:18,632
No wonder.
222
00:10:18,633 --> 00:10:20,735
What am I gonna do
about this meal?
223
00:10:21,336 --> 00:10:22,336
[CLEARS THROAT]
224
00:10:25,340 --> 00:10:26,740
Hi, Roge, old pal.
225
00:10:26,741 --> 00:10:29,327
Well, you finally put
Jeannie on the payroll.
226
00:10:29,328 --> 00:10:33,047
Oh. Jeannie, I'm sorry
about, uh, this afternoon.
227
00:10:33,048 --> 00:10:34,248
I was tired and hot.
228
00:10:34,249 --> 00:10:36,501
I'd had a hard day
at the office, you know.
229
00:10:36,502 --> 00:10:38,686
Hey. All fixed up.
230
00:10:38,687 --> 00:10:41,305
I am sorry too, master.
[CHUCKLES]
231
00:10:41,306 --> 00:10:43,257
It was a misunderstanding.
232
00:10:43,258 --> 00:10:44,726
Now that we're
all friends again,
233
00:10:44,727 --> 00:10:46,493
how 'bout making Tony's
favorite drink?
234
00:10:46,494 --> 00:10:47,729
A Baghdad Camel.
235
00:10:47,730 --> 00:10:50,098
Yes, a Baghdad Camel
would certainly hit
236
00:10:50,099 --> 00:10:51,516
the spot right about now.
237
00:10:51,517 --> 00:10:53,818
Right away, master.
Uh, I'm sorry about dinner,
238
00:10:53,819 --> 00:10:55,553
but I'm afraid...
Here we are, master.
239
00:10:55,554 --> 00:10:57,087
Fantastic.
Mmm.
240
00:10:57,088 --> 00:10:58,756
To a pleasant evening.
241
00:10:58,757 --> 00:11:02,259
You, uh, had 'em all ready, huh?
242
00:11:03,094 --> 00:11:04,562
Boy.
243
00:11:04,563 --> 00:11:06,197
[CLEARS THROAT] Mmm.
244
00:11:06,198 --> 00:11:09,000
Delicious. As always.
245
00:11:09,001 --> 00:11:10,334
Look, kids, about dinner.
246
00:11:10,335 --> 00:11:12,436
I'm afraid the earthquake
destroyed everything.
247
00:11:12,437 --> 00:11:14,372
Do you mind going out
for dinner tonight?
248
00:11:14,373 --> 00:11:16,174
Well... Well...
Well, what earthquake?
249
00:11:16,175 --> 00:11:20,360
The earthquake that demolished
the kitchen about two hours ago.
250
00:11:20,361 --> 00:11:22,162
I didn't feel any earthquake.
251
00:11:22,163 --> 00:11:25,132
Well, it demolished the kitchen
and everything in it.
252
00:11:25,133 --> 00:11:27,068
As a matter of fact...
Oh, master.
253
00:11:27,069 --> 00:11:29,053
This room looks all right.
254
00:11:29,054 --> 00:11:30,838
Ah...
Master, I am sorry. Heh.
255
00:11:30,839 --> 00:11:33,274
That was no earthquake.
That was me.
256
00:11:33,275 --> 00:11:34,909
You?
Mm-hm.
257
00:11:34,910 --> 00:11:38,829
Yes. I was just a little bit
angry with you, so I:
258
00:11:38,830 --> 00:11:40,830
[MUSIC CHIMES] Yeah.
259
00:11:42,484 --> 00:11:44,068
[BOTH LAUGH]
260
00:11:44,069 --> 00:11:45,069
[LAUGHS]
261
00:11:47,189 --> 00:11:48,422
Do not worry, master.
262
00:11:48,423 --> 00:11:49,690
I-I will fix everything.
263
00:11:49,691 --> 00:11:51,358
[STAMMERING]
264
00:11:51,359 --> 00:11:53,027
No, you don't...
Don't go in there, it's...
265
00:11:53,028 --> 00:11:54,245
[POMFRET STAMMERING]
266
00:11:54,246 --> 00:11:55,680
[MAGIC BOINGS]
267
00:11:56,748 --> 00:12:00,318
Hey, that looks great.
Let's eat.
268
00:12:00,319 --> 00:12:01,652
Hey, how did you...?
269
00:12:01,653 --> 00:12:04,522
How did you do that?
They were all over the kitchen.
270
00:12:04,523 --> 00:12:05,803
[YELLS]
271
00:12:08,060 --> 00:12:09,260
Something wrong, master?
272
00:12:09,261 --> 00:12:10,861
No.
273
00:12:19,521 --> 00:12:21,455
[?]
274
00:12:36,038 --> 00:12:38,022
Good evening, Major Nelson.
275
00:12:43,011 --> 00:12:44,261
Dr. Bellows.
276
00:12:44,262 --> 00:12:46,848
I thought the televisionwas for relaxation.
277
00:12:46,849 --> 00:12:49,066
You're not thereto relax, major.
278
00:12:49,067 --> 00:12:51,068
We've arranged to cut infor communications
279
00:12:51,069 --> 00:12:52,637
with Cocoa Beach.
280
00:12:52,638 --> 00:12:53,904
Twice a day at 12 noon
281
00:12:53,905 --> 00:12:56,224
and againat 12 midnight, your time.
282
00:12:56,225 --> 00:12:57,141
Right, sir.
283
00:12:57,142 --> 00:12:58,526
Two times a day.
284
00:12:58,527 --> 00:13:03,231
Correct. And remember,
this project is important.
285
00:13:03,232 --> 00:13:04,398
Uh, how's the work going?
286
00:13:04,399 --> 00:13:06,000
Oh, just fine, sir.Just fine.
287
00:13:06,001 --> 00:13:08,035
Uh, but I do havea few questions.
288
00:13:08,036 --> 00:13:09,670
I wanna show you a tape, major.
289
00:13:09,671 --> 00:13:11,205
It was made several weeks ago.
290
00:13:11,206 --> 00:13:14,325
I think it willexplain everything.
291
00:13:14,326 --> 00:13:15,993
I don't remember making
any tape, sir.
292
00:13:15,994 --> 00:13:19,714
Major Nelson, meet Major Nelson.
293
00:13:21,583 --> 00:13:23,251
[?]
294
00:13:23,252 --> 00:13:24,852
Hi, Tony.
295
00:13:26,221 --> 00:13:28,071
I know we haven't met,
296
00:13:28,072 --> 00:13:29,473
but I feelI know you well enough
297
00:13:29,474 --> 00:13:32,593
to call you Tony.
298
00:13:32,594 --> 00:13:35,129
It's... Eh, that's me.No, no, it couldn't be me.
299
00:13:35,130 --> 00:13:36,663
Yes, it is me.
300
00:13:36,664 --> 00:13:38,432
BELLOWS:
Relax, major.
301
00:13:38,433 --> 00:13:40,167
That man isan intelligence agent
302
00:13:40,168 --> 00:13:41,535
with theatrical training.
303
00:13:41,536 --> 00:13:42,637
He's a dead ringer for you,
304
00:13:42,638 --> 00:13:44,739
and no one will noticea discrepancy.
305
00:13:44,740 --> 00:13:46,573
Not even if he's having dinner
306
00:13:46,574 --> 00:13:48,693
with Major Healey at your house.
307
00:13:48,694 --> 00:13:50,477
That's...That's really remarkable, sir.
308
00:13:50,478 --> 00:13:52,846
It would fool prac...
309
00:13:52,847 --> 00:13:54,999
It won't work.It won't work, Dr. Bellows.
310
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:57,451
Well, of course it will.It's working now.
311
00:13:57,452 --> 00:13:59,820
Major Healey has alreadyaccepted him as you.
312
00:14:02,424 --> 00:14:03,791
What's the matter, major?
313
00:14:03,792 --> 00:14:05,475
Nothing, sir.
314
00:14:05,476 --> 00:14:07,876
It's not Major Healey
I'm worried about.
315
00:14:11,399 --> 00:14:13,634
Well, Jeannie.
Where's old Roge?
316
00:14:13,635 --> 00:14:15,002
Oh, he went home.
317
00:14:15,003 --> 00:14:16,971
Home?
Mm-hm.
318
00:14:16,972 --> 00:14:18,705
[CAR STARTS]
319
00:14:18,706 --> 00:14:21,776
Healey!
Healey, you forgot Jeannie!
320
00:14:21,777 --> 00:14:22,777
Roger?
321
00:14:22,778 --> 00:14:24,444
[CAR DEPARTS]
322
00:14:26,514 --> 00:14:27,915
He's gone.
323
00:14:29,651 --> 00:14:32,552
And you're still...
here.
324
00:14:32,553 --> 00:14:34,989
Of course I am still here.
325
00:14:34,990 --> 00:14:38,225
Master, are you sure
you feel all right?
326
00:14:38,226 --> 00:14:40,761
I'm fine.
Fine, fine.
327
00:14:40,762 --> 00:14:43,130
Uh, listen, Jeannie, ahem,
it was great of good old Roge
328
00:14:43,131 --> 00:14:44,999
to allow you to help
with my housecleaning.
329
00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:46,233
But what does Major Healey...
330
00:14:46,234 --> 00:14:47,802
But there's no reason
for you to stay
331
00:14:47,803 --> 00:14:49,503
and do the, uh, dishes.
332
00:14:49,504 --> 00:14:51,071
I can do them myself.
333
00:14:51,072 --> 00:14:52,940
They are done.
Mm.
334
00:14:52,941 --> 00:14:56,110
Yes. That's fine. Good...
Good little worker, aren't you?
335
00:14:56,111 --> 00:14:58,352
Uh, he probably forgot.
Shall we go?
336
00:14:59,181 --> 00:15:00,714
Go where, master?
337
00:15:01,716 --> 00:15:03,017
Home?
338
00:15:04,219 --> 00:15:05,419
Master?
339
00:15:05,420 --> 00:15:07,154
We are home.
340
00:15:11,326 --> 00:15:12,827
All right, she's not the maid,
341
00:15:12,828 --> 00:15:15,062
and she's not
Healey's girlfriend.
342
00:15:17,199 --> 00:15:18,982
Jeannie, uh...
Ahem.
343
00:15:18,983 --> 00:15:20,484
I've been thinking, uh...
344
00:15:20,485 --> 00:15:23,987
How long has it been
since we first, uh, met?
345
00:15:23,988 --> 00:15:27,541
Oh, well, it has been
a long time, master.
346
00:15:27,542 --> 00:15:29,477
I have been so happy
347
00:15:29,478 --> 00:15:32,213
that the time has just flown by.
348
00:15:33,565 --> 00:15:36,400
Well, you know how your memory
plays tricks on you.
349
00:15:36,401 --> 00:15:39,069
I... I can't for the life of me
remember, uh,
350
00:15:39,070 --> 00:15:42,339
when we first got together.
351
00:15:43,608 --> 00:15:45,276
Do you mean our anniversary?
352
00:15:45,277 --> 00:15:47,244
Yes, our anniversary.
353
00:15:47,245 --> 00:15:50,180
The anniversary
of our... marriage.
354
00:15:51,983 --> 00:15:53,784
Marriage?
355
00:15:53,785 --> 00:15:55,786
Oh, master.
356
00:15:55,787 --> 00:15:59,156
Oh, master, that is why you
have been acting so strangely.
357
00:15:59,157 --> 00:16:00,391
After all these years,
358
00:16:00,392 --> 00:16:03,394
you are finally going
to ask me to marry you.
359
00:16:03,395 --> 00:16:06,096
Oh! I am ready!
360
00:16:06,731 --> 00:16:08,065
Oh!
361
00:16:08,066 --> 00:16:10,067
You darling thing.
362
00:16:10,068 --> 00:16:11,869
Everyone will be so happy.
No, no, no.
363
00:16:11,870 --> 00:16:13,937
Wait till I tell my mother.
No, no.
364
00:16:13,938 --> 00:16:16,040
You've got the wrong idea.
She won't believe it.
365
00:16:16,041 --> 00:16:17,440
She will not believe it.
366
00:16:17,441 --> 00:16:20,878
Oh, master, darling, goodbye.
I'm going to go tell everyone.
367
00:16:20,879 --> 00:16:23,781
You've made me the happiest
genie in the world.
368
00:16:23,782 --> 00:16:25,815
[JEANNIE LAUGHS]
369
00:16:28,403 --> 00:16:29,903
That... That's not the idea
at all.
370
00:16:29,904 --> 00:16:31,372
Jeannie?
371
00:16:31,373 --> 00:16:33,407
Jeannie? Jeannie?
372
00:16:34,809 --> 00:16:37,278
Nelson's gonna kill me.
373
00:16:37,279 --> 00:16:40,680
Let's see. I wonder
if I can get Jeannie here.
374
00:16:40,681 --> 00:16:43,300
At least I'll know
what's going on.
375
00:16:43,301 --> 00:16:44,634
What am I talking about?
376
00:16:44,635 --> 00:16:46,954
I don't even know
what hemisphere I'm in.
377
00:16:48,707 --> 00:16:50,557
[?]
378
00:16:54,412 --> 00:16:55,612
Fresh air.
379
00:16:55,613 --> 00:16:57,748
Sure does give you an appetite.
380
00:16:59,334 --> 00:17:01,585
Let's see what I have for lunch.
381
00:17:06,924 --> 00:17:08,592
Veal cutlet.
382
00:17:09,727 --> 00:17:11,612
My favorite.
383
00:17:11,613 --> 00:17:13,297
Mm-mm.
384
00:17:21,490 --> 00:17:22,606
Ridiculous.
385
00:17:22,607 --> 00:17:23,874
I was simply intoxicated.
386
00:17:23,875 --> 00:17:26,159
She won't even be here
this morning.
387
00:17:28,979 --> 00:17:30,259
[POMFRET GASPS]
388
00:17:30,981 --> 00:17:32,182
Oh!
389
00:17:32,183 --> 00:17:33,650
Oh, master.
390
00:17:33,651 --> 00:17:36,986
It does not matter if you see
the bride before the wedding.
391
00:17:36,987 --> 00:17:39,856
I want you to meet the
Right Reverend Ibn Bernouli.
392
00:17:39,857 --> 00:17:41,958
Uh, do I have to?
393
00:17:45,347 --> 00:17:47,864
[COUGHS]
394
00:17:47,865 --> 00:17:50,284
[SPEAKING ARABIC]
395
00:17:55,657 --> 00:17:58,592
He says that he is honored
to meet you, master,
396
00:17:58,593 --> 00:18:00,794
and honored to perform
the marriage ceremony
397
00:18:00,795 --> 00:18:03,430
according to the ancient rites.
398
00:18:04,232 --> 00:18:05,833
How do you do?
399
00:18:05,834 --> 00:18:07,418
[SPEAKING IN ARABIC]
400
00:18:19,431 --> 00:18:22,866
He says that he is
all choked up, master,
401
00:18:22,867 --> 00:18:25,903
because he performed
this very same ceremony
402
00:18:25,904 --> 00:18:29,306
for my mama and papa
over 5000 years ago.
403
00:18:30,809 --> 00:18:33,343
Five thousand years ago.
404
00:18:33,344 --> 00:18:34,878
As a matter of fact,
405
00:18:34,879 --> 00:18:36,847
I believe he was
at their wedding anniversary
406
00:18:36,848 --> 00:18:38,481
just last year.
407
00:18:39,651 --> 00:18:40,884
Well, when you marry people,
408
00:18:40,885 --> 00:18:43,237
they really stay married,
don't they?
409
00:18:43,238 --> 00:18:44,538
[SPEAKING IN ARABIC]
410
00:18:44,539 --> 00:18:45,705
[CHUCKLES]
411
00:18:45,706 --> 00:18:47,974
[SCREAMS]
412
00:18:47,975 --> 00:18:50,161
Master, wait! Wait!
413
00:18:50,162 --> 00:18:51,378
Oh...
414
00:18:52,497 --> 00:18:54,381
[SPEAKING IN ARABIC]
415
00:18:54,382 --> 00:18:55,982
He has just gone to, uh...
416
00:18:55,983 --> 00:18:58,017
Uh...
417
00:18:58,018 --> 00:19:00,671
To get a marriage license.
That is it.
418
00:19:00,672 --> 00:19:04,007
In America,
one needs a license for...
419
00:19:04,008 --> 00:19:05,092
everything.
420
00:19:05,093 --> 00:19:06,626
[SPEAKING IN ARABIC]
421
00:19:06,627 --> 00:19:08,812
America.
422
00:19:08,813 --> 00:19:10,264
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
423
00:19:10,265 --> 00:19:11,732
Come in.
424
00:19:13,301 --> 00:19:14,968
Well, major.
Everything go all right?
425
00:19:14,969 --> 00:19:16,570
Negative,
Dr. Bellows.
426
00:19:16,571 --> 00:19:18,872
I'm drunk.
427
00:19:18,873 --> 00:19:21,308
Yes. That's the only
explanation, sir.
428
00:19:21,309 --> 00:19:23,611
She fed me a Baghdad Camel
last night,
429
00:19:23,612 --> 00:19:25,112
and it must have
been pure alcohol,
430
00:19:25,113 --> 00:19:28,315
because from the first sip,
I was smashed.
431
00:19:28,316 --> 00:19:31,184
I began to see things.
I still think I'm smashed.
432
00:19:31,185 --> 00:19:32,953
Don't be ridiculous, major.
433
00:19:32,954 --> 00:19:34,821
Look at you.
You're neatly dressed.
434
00:19:34,822 --> 00:19:36,390
Your eyes aren't bloodshot.
435
00:19:36,391 --> 00:19:38,992
You didn't stagger,
your speech isn't slurred.
436
00:19:38,993 --> 00:19:41,462
Nevertheless, wait
till I tell you what I saw.
437
00:19:41,463 --> 00:19:42,630
Oh, I can hardly wait.
438
00:19:42,631 --> 00:19:44,498
Major Healey,
are you in the habit
439
00:19:44,499 --> 00:19:46,467
of barging into
a superior officer's office?
440
00:19:46,468 --> 00:19:48,269
I'm sorry, sir.
Looking for Major Nelson.
441
00:19:48,270 --> 00:19:49,570
I gotta talk to you right away.
442
00:19:49,571 --> 00:19:51,805
Later, Roge.
When I sober up.
443
00:19:51,806 --> 00:19:52,806
When you sober up?
444
00:19:52,807 --> 00:19:55,276
Ah, Major Nelson is intoxicated.
445
00:19:55,277 --> 00:19:57,544
That's impose... Impossible, sir.
He doesn't drink.
446
00:19:57,545 --> 00:19:59,313
Oh, yeah? Um...
447
00:19:59,314 --> 00:20:02,215
What was in that Baghdad Camel
last night? Pablum?
448
00:20:02,216 --> 00:20:03,917
I never saw anything
like it, sir.
449
00:20:03,918 --> 00:20:05,919
Uh, plates appearing
and then disappearing,
450
00:20:05,920 --> 00:20:07,988
a-a turkey
that carves itself,
451
00:20:07,989 --> 00:20:11,659
a-a baked Alaska just suddenly
appearing out of nowhere.
452
00:20:11,660 --> 00:20:13,727
He's drunk, that's right.
Stoned. Very stoned.
453
00:20:13,728 --> 00:20:15,296
Look at that.
Bloodshot eyes there,
454
00:20:15,297 --> 00:20:16,997
tie all crooked and wobbly.
455
00:20:16,998 --> 00:20:18,766
Now, is that the Tony Nelson
we know, sir?
456
00:20:18,767 --> 00:20:20,334
All right.
457
00:20:20,335 --> 00:20:23,003
I'm gonna get to the bottom
of this. Come along, major.
458
00:20:23,004 --> 00:20:24,971
We're going to the lab
and take a blood sample.
459
00:20:24,972 --> 00:20:27,541
We'll soon find out
what's wrong with you.
460
00:20:27,542 --> 00:20:29,242
Major Healey.
461
00:20:33,448 --> 00:20:35,416
TONY [OVER TV]:
Dr. Bellows. Dr. Bellows?
462
00:20:35,417 --> 00:20:37,417
Dr. Bellows,I've gotta talk to you.
463
00:20:38,737 --> 00:20:39,970
Tony?
464
00:20:42,991 --> 00:20:44,942
Tony, what are youdoing on television?
465
00:20:44,943 --> 00:20:46,360
Roger, thank goodness it's you.
466
00:20:46,361 --> 00:20:47,828
We're in terrible trouble.
467
00:20:47,829 --> 00:20:49,113
I'll say we are.What's the idea
468
00:20:49,114 --> 00:20:51,582
of telling Dr. Bellowsabout Jeannie?
469
00:20:51,583 --> 00:20:52,800
What are you talking about?
470
00:20:52,801 --> 00:20:53,700
Just now,
471
00:20:53,701 --> 00:20:55,435
when you walked outof the office.
472
00:20:55,436 --> 00:20:58,005
How could you walk outof the office and be on TV?
473
00:20:58,006 --> 00:20:59,873
It wasn't me, Roge.
474
00:20:59,874 --> 00:21:02,092
It wasn't you.Of course it wasn't you.
475
00:21:02,093 --> 00:21:05,796
I mean, you wouldn't actlike that. It wasn't you?
476
00:21:05,797 --> 00:21:08,165
Look, there's a phony Tonyon the loose. Now listen.
477
00:21:08,166 --> 00:21:10,134
I don't knowhow much time we've got.
478
00:21:10,135 --> 00:21:12,353
Yeah. I think I better.
479
00:21:12,354 --> 00:21:13,554
Bellows...
480
00:21:13,555 --> 00:21:14,771
Tony?
481
00:21:14,772 --> 00:21:17,574
Tony, come back. Come back.
482
00:21:17,575 --> 00:21:19,776
[MAN SPEAKING SPANISH
OVER TV]
483
00:21:22,913 --> 00:21:23,913
Ah.
484
00:21:23,914 --> 00:21:25,482
He's somewhere in France.
485
00:21:29,570 --> 00:21:31,538
[?]
486
00:21:31,539 --> 00:21:33,574
[SPEAKING IN ARABIC]
487
00:21:36,678 --> 00:21:38,445
[STAMMERS]
488
00:21:38,446 --> 00:21:41,682
A-as soon as the sands run out,
you must go?
489
00:21:41,683 --> 00:21:44,418
Oh, b-but what if my master
does not return?
490
00:21:44,419 --> 00:21:45,819
[SPEAKS IN ARABIC]
491
00:21:45,820 --> 00:21:46,941
[GASPS]
492
00:21:53,744 --> 00:21:55,445
All right, Reverend.
493
00:21:55,446 --> 00:21:58,065
As soon as the sands run out.
494
00:21:58,066 --> 00:22:00,617
You see, major, not a trace
of alcohol in your blood.
495
00:22:00,618 --> 00:22:02,586
You're stone-cold sober.
496
00:22:02,587 --> 00:22:04,554
Well, sir...
497
00:22:04,555 --> 00:22:05,639
Sir, in that case,
498
00:22:05,640 --> 00:22:07,924
there's only one
other explanation.
499
00:22:07,925 --> 00:22:10,026
I'm really seeing those things.
500
00:22:10,027 --> 00:22:12,996
Well, Major Nelson.
501
00:22:12,997 --> 00:22:15,532
For the first time
since I've known you,
502
00:22:15,533 --> 00:22:17,100
you admit it.
503
00:22:18,135 --> 00:22:19,736
I admit nothing.
504
00:22:20,771 --> 00:22:22,739
Oh. I'm sorry,
I almost forgot.
505
00:22:22,740 --> 00:22:25,008
I thought for a moment
you were the real Major Nelson.
506
00:22:25,009 --> 00:22:27,043
Well, nevertheless, come on.
507
00:22:27,044 --> 00:22:28,612
This time,
I think we've got him.
508
00:22:28,613 --> 00:22:30,981
We're going to the house
and see what's really going on.
509
00:22:30,982 --> 00:22:32,516
Oh! Oh! Oh!
I'll... I'll... I'll...
510
00:22:32,517 --> 00:22:33,683
I'll take him, sir.
511
00:22:33,684 --> 00:22:35,552
A cold shower and hot coffee
will fix him up...
512
00:22:35,553 --> 00:22:36,887
Uh, no, there's no need, major.
513
00:22:36,888 --> 00:22:38,588
Major Nelson and I are
going to his house
514
00:22:38,589 --> 00:22:40,690
and see what's going on.
515
00:22:40,691 --> 00:22:43,827
Major Healey, if you don't mind.
516
00:22:46,296 --> 00:22:47,330
Oh.
517
00:22:48,983 --> 00:22:50,834
[?]
518
00:22:53,605 --> 00:22:56,273
Pomfret, I want you to know that
I was against substituting you
519
00:22:56,274 --> 00:22:58,208
for Major Nelson from the start.
520
00:22:58,209 --> 00:22:59,810
But if you really can
show me any proof
521
00:22:59,811 --> 00:23:01,612
of any funny business
going on at...
522
00:23:01,613 --> 00:23:03,013
Proof positive, sir.
523
00:23:03,014 --> 00:23:04,314
She wears a funny little outfit
524
00:23:04,315 --> 00:23:07,450
like she came out
of an Arabian harem.
525
00:23:07,451 --> 00:23:08,685
No. Extraordinary.
Yes.
526
00:23:08,686 --> 00:23:10,653
She blinks her eyes,
and things pop in and out.
527
00:23:10,654 --> 00:23:13,924
Vacuum cleaners,
baked Alaskans, chickens.
528
00:23:18,796 --> 00:23:20,647
[?]
529
00:23:20,697 --> 00:23:25,247
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
36874
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
