Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,283 --> 00:00:03,284
[?]
2
00:00:05,121 --> 00:00:06,854
Is there any more coffee,
Jeannie?
3
00:00:08,690 --> 00:00:10,592
Oh, thank you.
4
00:00:10,593 --> 00:00:11,959
Master.
Hm?
5
00:00:11,960 --> 00:00:13,361
Why do you not work
at home today?
6
00:00:13,362 --> 00:00:15,863
Is this not much nicer
than a stuffy, old office?
7
00:00:15,864 --> 00:00:17,565
No, it's not
a stuffy, old office.
8
00:00:17,566 --> 00:00:19,934
Besides, Roger's gonna be
picking me up in a few minutes.
9
00:00:19,935 --> 00:00:21,969
We have a conference
with General Peterson.
10
00:00:21,970 --> 00:00:23,004
And I'm taking up a 104
11
00:00:23,005 --> 00:00:24,705
with some experimental
equipment on it.
12
00:00:24,706 --> 00:00:25,707
Now, that's not stuffy.
13
00:00:25,708 --> 00:00:27,575
And you find that exciting?
14
00:00:27,576 --> 00:00:29,076
It's not supposed
to be exciting.
15
00:00:29,077 --> 00:00:30,578
Well, then why do you do it?
16
00:00:30,579 --> 00:00:32,380
'Cause I like it.
17
00:00:32,381 --> 00:00:34,549
Good morning, Major Healey.
18
00:00:34,550 --> 00:00:36,990
Oh, hi, Roge.
Come on out.
19
00:00:39,188 --> 00:00:40,955
Roge?
20
00:00:40,956 --> 00:00:42,590
What's wrong?
21
00:00:42,591 --> 00:00:44,492
Look, uh, we'd better
get over to the office.
22
00:00:44,493 --> 00:00:47,162
We have a meeting in, uh,
30 minutes, so, uh...
23
00:00:47,163 --> 00:00:50,031
Well, you got time
for a cup of coffee.
24
00:00:50,032 --> 00:00:51,266
Very nice.
25
00:00:51,267 --> 00:00:52,967
Sit down. Tell me
what's worrying you.
26
00:00:52,968 --> 00:00:55,436
Oh, what could be worrying me
when I have a friend like you?
27
00:00:55,437 --> 00:00:57,172
Have you had any other
nice wishes today?
28
00:00:57,173 --> 00:00:58,239
What's on your mind?
29
00:00:58,240 --> 00:01:00,841
There's nothing on my mind.
30
00:01:02,511 --> 00:01:05,380
I'll tell you what's on my mind.
You know what's on my mind?
31
00:01:05,381 --> 00:01:07,164
If I had my own private genie
and my best friend
32
00:01:07,165 --> 00:01:09,734
wanted to borrow her
from me, I'd let him.
33
00:01:09,735 --> 00:01:11,419
Oh, not again.
34
00:01:11,420 --> 00:01:13,054
Roger, we've been
through all this.
35
00:01:13,055 --> 00:01:14,739
Jeannie won't do me any harm.
36
00:01:14,740 --> 00:01:16,707
Oh, of course not.
You see?
37
00:01:16,708 --> 00:01:19,026
She won't mean to, but that's
what will happen, anyway.
38
00:01:19,027 --> 00:01:20,228
Well, you know that.
39
00:01:20,229 --> 00:01:21,512
I don't want to keep her.
40
00:01:21,513 --> 00:01:23,181
All I want
is three little wishes.
41
00:01:23,182 --> 00:01:24,499
No.
42
00:01:24,500 --> 00:01:26,318
Two wishes?
Roger.
43
00:01:26,319 --> 00:01:28,769
One teensy-weensy wish?
44
00:01:28,770 --> 00:01:30,505
Oh, please, may I, master?
45
00:01:30,506 --> 00:01:32,073
Listen,
46
00:01:32,074 --> 00:01:34,025
I'll never ask you another thing
in my whole life.
47
00:01:34,026 --> 00:01:35,860
Just one wish.
What have you got to lose?
48
00:01:35,861 --> 00:01:38,012
I don't know.
I haven't heard the wish yet.
49
00:01:39,665 --> 00:01:41,733
All right, go ahead,
give him a wish.
50
00:01:41,734 --> 00:01:42,934
[GIGGLES]
51
00:01:42,935 --> 00:01:45,870
All I want is one...
52
00:01:45,871 --> 00:01:48,173
One...? One wish?
53
00:01:48,174 --> 00:01:49,674
You're going to give me a wish?
54
00:01:49,675 --> 00:01:51,275
Oh!
55
00:01:51,276 --> 00:01:52,577
Only one now.
Don't go crazy.
56
00:01:52,578 --> 00:01:53,811
Go crazy?
57
00:01:53,812 --> 00:01:55,480
I'm the richest man
in the whole world.
58
00:01:55,481 --> 00:01:57,682
Oh, am I rich.
Yachts, chateaus.
59
00:01:57,683 --> 00:01:59,201
Ah. You wish to be
the richest man
60
00:01:59,202 --> 00:02:00,502
in the whole world.
61
00:02:00,503 --> 00:02:01,569
No!
62
00:02:01,570 --> 00:02:02,803
Oh, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
63
00:02:02,804 --> 00:02:04,472
Maybe I should look
like Gregory Peck.
64
00:02:04,473 --> 00:02:07,041
Ah, can you imagine all those
girls falling in love with me?
65
00:02:07,042 --> 00:02:09,460
Ah...
Gregory Peck.
66
00:02:09,461 --> 00:02:10,529
Wait!
67
00:02:10,530 --> 00:02:12,414
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
68
00:02:12,415 --> 00:02:13,581
With all that money,
69
00:02:13,582 --> 00:02:15,283
I don't have to look
like Gregory Peck.
70
00:02:15,284 --> 00:02:17,251
With all that money,
I should live long enough
71
00:02:17,252 --> 00:02:18,319
to spend it.
72
00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:20,021
Maybe I should wish
for a long life.
73
00:02:20,022 --> 00:02:21,239
Long life.
74
00:02:21,240 --> 00:02:22,557
Oh, wait!
75
00:02:22,558 --> 00:02:25,309
Roger, would you hurry up?
We got a meeting, remember?
76
00:02:25,310 --> 00:02:26,545
Hold your tongue, will ya?
77
00:02:26,546 --> 00:02:29,113
You may be talking to the next
president of the United States.
78
00:02:29,114 --> 00:02:30,382
Can you imagine that?
79
00:02:30,383 --> 00:02:32,733
The president
of the United States.
80
00:02:32,734 --> 00:02:34,969
Oh, I'm so sorry, Tony.
81
00:02:34,970 --> 00:02:37,410
Oh, I wished I hadn't done that.
82
00:02:39,124 --> 00:02:43,812
Oh, Jeannie, you're wonderful.
And I wished I hadn't done that.
83
00:02:43,813 --> 00:02:47,231
I wished I hadn't done it?
84
00:02:47,232 --> 00:02:48,633
Oh, no!
85
00:02:48,634 --> 00:02:50,635
[?]
86
00:02:53,138 --> 00:02:54,889
[?]
87
00:03:41,286 --> 00:03:43,287
[?]
88
00:03:47,543 --> 00:03:50,044
You can't do this to the next
president of the United States.
89
00:03:50,045 --> 00:03:51,078
You said one wish.
90
00:03:51,079 --> 00:03:52,079
And you've had it.
91
00:03:52,080 --> 00:03:53,414
You mean, I've been had.
92
00:03:53,415 --> 00:03:55,883
Oh, I am sorry, Major Healey,
but you did wish for the stain
93
00:03:55,884 --> 00:03:56,884
to disappear.
94
00:03:56,885 --> 00:03:58,153
That's right.
Thanks, Roge.
95
00:03:58,154 --> 00:03:59,554
Oh, thanks, think nothing of it.
96
00:03:59,555 --> 00:04:01,789
That's the only 5 billion
dollar stain in history.
97
00:04:01,790 --> 00:04:02,857
Goodbye, Jeannie.
98
00:04:02,858 --> 00:04:04,559
Wait a minute!
You mean that was my wish?
99
00:04:04,560 --> 00:04:05,660
That's right.
Oh, wait.
100
00:04:05,661 --> 00:04:07,094
Stains don't count.
101
00:04:07,095 --> 00:04:09,930
[ARGUING]
102
00:04:09,931 --> 00:04:11,932
[?]
103
00:04:42,013 --> 00:04:44,014
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
104
00:04:56,194 --> 00:04:58,228
[HOSE BLOWING AIR]
105
00:05:02,301 --> 00:05:03,668
Boy, these flies are killing me.
106
00:05:03,669 --> 00:05:05,536
Whew!
107
00:05:05,537 --> 00:05:06,905
Get 'em.
108
00:05:06,906 --> 00:05:08,606
Get 'em, get 'em.
109
00:05:08,607 --> 00:05:09,640
Hey, hey.
110
00:05:09,641 --> 00:05:10,641
Will ya? Will ya?
111
00:05:10,642 --> 00:05:11,642
I'm... I'm sorry.
112
00:05:11,643 --> 00:05:12,844
Whew.
113
00:05:12,845 --> 00:05:13,978
Listen, I wanna...
114
00:05:18,383 --> 00:05:20,218
Oh. Sorry.
115
00:05:20,219 --> 00:05:21,853
Look at the grease
on that thing.
116
00:05:23,488 --> 00:05:24,923
All right, what were you saying?
117
00:05:24,924 --> 00:05:27,275
Oh, I was just saying that, uh...
I was just saying...
118
00:05:27,276 --> 00:05:28,092
Oh, Major Nelson.
119
00:05:28,093 --> 00:05:29,410
Hey, look out!
120
00:05:29,411 --> 00:05:30,594
Roger, what are you doing?
121
00:05:30,595 --> 00:05:31,595
Oh, I'm so...
122
00:05:36,051 --> 00:05:38,118
I don't understand.
123
00:05:38,119 --> 00:05:40,287
I just saw you smear him
with that grease,
124
00:05:40,288 --> 00:05:42,690
and his uniform
is absolutely clean.
125
00:05:42,691 --> 00:05:43,891
Yes. Yes, it is,
isn't it?
126
00:05:43,892 --> 00:05:45,760
Well, how do you explain that,
Major Nelson?
127
00:05:45,761 --> 00:05:47,762
Well, there's really
nothing to explain, sir.
128
00:05:47,763 --> 00:05:48,830
I know what I saw.
129
00:05:48,831 --> 00:05:50,631
Yeah, Roger, will you
put that thing down?
130
00:05:50,632 --> 00:05:52,600
Just put it down.
131
00:05:52,601 --> 00:05:54,001
We gotta stop horsing around.
132
00:05:54,002 --> 00:05:56,337
[YELPS]
133
00:06:00,241 --> 00:06:02,209
Your blouse won't get dirty.
134
00:06:02,210 --> 00:06:04,545
Yeah, it must be the experiment
we're working on, sir.
135
00:06:04,546 --> 00:06:07,348
This is the most incredible
thing I've ever seen.
136
00:06:07,349 --> 00:06:09,149
And since you've
been here, Major Nelson,
137
00:06:09,150 --> 00:06:11,218
I've seen some pretty
incredible things.
138
00:06:11,219 --> 00:06:12,920
Yeah. Well, there's
nothing to it, sir.
139
00:06:12,921 --> 00:06:14,522
It's the simplest thing
in the world.
140
00:06:14,523 --> 00:06:15,774
How do you do it?
141
00:06:15,775 --> 00:06:17,541
It's the X Factor, sir.
142
00:06:17,542 --> 00:06:19,744
You just, uh, spray
this fluid on the material,
143
00:06:19,745 --> 00:06:21,625
and it keeps it from permeating.
144
00:06:22,531 --> 00:06:24,164
Remarkable.
145
00:06:24,165 --> 00:06:26,684
Yes. Well, if you'll excuse us,
we have a briefing.
146
00:06:26,685 --> 00:06:29,003
Briefing.
What do you mean?
147
00:06:29,004 --> 00:06:30,904
Oh, briefing.
148
00:06:30,905 --> 00:06:32,206
ROGER:
Briefing.
149
00:06:32,207 --> 00:06:34,368
Let's don't be late
for the briefing.
150
00:06:43,953 --> 00:06:46,838
Oh, general,
I've got to talk to you.
151
00:06:46,839 --> 00:06:48,055
Is anything wrong?
152
00:06:48,056 --> 00:06:49,056
Wrong?
153
00:06:49,057 --> 00:06:52,026
Oh, uh, just a moment, sir.
154
00:06:52,027 --> 00:06:55,329
Oh, captain, would you please
see the general isn't disturbed?
155
00:06:55,330 --> 00:06:57,799
Thank you.
156
00:06:57,800 --> 00:07:01,970
General Peterson,
unless I miss my guess,
157
00:07:01,971 --> 00:07:03,705
we'll be showing this
158
00:07:03,706 --> 00:07:06,774
to the president of
the United States by nightfall.
159
00:07:06,775 --> 00:07:08,943
Looks like a can of fly spray.
160
00:07:08,944 --> 00:07:12,080
It might look like a can
of fly spray, sir,
161
00:07:12,081 --> 00:07:15,583
but it's probably the most
exciting discovery ever made.
162
00:07:15,584 --> 00:07:17,085
Would you mind standing up?
163
00:07:17,086 --> 00:07:18,335
You want me to stand up?
164
00:07:18,336 --> 00:07:20,120
Please, general.
165
00:07:22,491 --> 00:07:25,660
Well, uh, what does it do?
166
00:07:25,661 --> 00:07:28,095
You'll see, general.
You'll see.
167
00:07:28,096 --> 00:07:30,097
It has a X Factor in it.
168
00:07:30,098 --> 00:07:35,803
Now, first we spray
on the X Factor,
169
00:07:35,804 --> 00:07:39,741
then we put on...
170
00:07:39,742 --> 00:07:42,009
some black grease.
171
00:07:42,010 --> 00:07:43,845
Just like this.
172
00:07:43,846 --> 00:07:46,406
Now, you watch.
Watch closely.
173
00:08:00,712 --> 00:08:02,146
Tea?
174
00:08:02,147 --> 00:08:04,148
Yeah.
175
00:08:04,149 --> 00:08:05,650
No, no, no.
176
00:08:05,651 --> 00:08:07,885
Oh, I wish I hadn't blown
that wish this morning.
177
00:08:07,886 --> 00:08:09,520
You oughta consider
yourself lucky.
178
00:08:09,521 --> 00:08:11,922
It's the first time I've ever
known Jeannie to grant a wish
179
00:08:11,923 --> 00:08:13,324
and not have it
cause a disaster.
180
00:08:13,325 --> 00:08:15,085
A disaster?
Yeah.
181
00:08:16,295 --> 00:08:18,345
Oh, a disaster.
Wait a minute.
182
00:08:18,346 --> 00:08:19,496
You know how big this is?
183
00:08:19,497 --> 00:08:21,065
A material
that's indestructible?
184
00:08:21,066 --> 00:08:22,399
Indestructible?
Who said?
185
00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:25,069
Listen, when Jeannie blinks,
she doesn't fool around.
186
00:08:25,070 --> 00:08:27,021
Of course not.
187
00:08:27,022 --> 00:08:29,690
Say, you know you've stumbled
on something really marvelous.
188
00:08:29,691 --> 00:08:31,559
Oh, do you really
think so, master?
189
00:08:31,560 --> 00:08:32,927
Yeah.
190
00:08:32,928 --> 00:08:34,595
Do you have any idea
what this could do
191
00:08:34,596 --> 00:08:36,263
to the housewives
all over the world?
192
00:08:36,264 --> 00:08:39,233
Well, they'll never have to wash
clothes or mend anything.
193
00:08:39,234 --> 00:08:41,001
Nothing will ever get dirty.
Or torn.
194
00:08:41,002 --> 00:08:42,269
Or torn, right.
Torn.
195
00:08:42,270 --> 00:08:44,238
What are you doing?
What are you doing to my...?
196
00:08:44,239 --> 00:08:45,573
Well, what are you gonna do?
197
00:08:45,574 --> 00:08:47,809
I want to cut a piece out
of this and have it analyzed.
198
00:08:47,810 --> 00:08:49,410
What are you doing?
199
00:08:52,414 --> 00:08:54,114
I broke the scissors.
200
00:08:54,115 --> 00:08:55,149
The scissors.
201
00:08:55,150 --> 00:08:57,084
I saw it.
202
00:08:57,085 --> 00:08:59,386
Your blouse broke the scissors.
203
00:08:59,387 --> 00:09:00,988
Well, how do you
explain that, major?
204
00:09:00,989 --> 00:09:03,357
Well, it's part of the same
experiment we're working on.
205
00:09:03,358 --> 00:09:05,225
Well, then why didn't
the other fluid work?
206
00:09:05,226 --> 00:09:06,360
Oh, the other?
207
00:09:06,361 --> 00:09:07,962
Well, it, uh,
probably wasn't fresh.
208
00:09:07,963 --> 00:09:09,964
No, it has to be fresh.
Right. Exactly.
209
00:09:09,965 --> 00:09:11,332
Is this fresh?
210
00:09:11,333 --> 00:09:13,400
Yes.
Oh, we just got it.
211
00:09:13,401 --> 00:09:16,537
If you don't mind,
I'll take this.
212
00:09:20,976 --> 00:09:22,743
Why don't he get his own coffee?
213
00:09:22,744 --> 00:09:24,305
Tea.
Tea.
214
00:09:25,196 --> 00:09:27,982
Believe me, general,
I know what went wrong.
215
00:09:27,983 --> 00:09:31,085
The X Factor wasn't fresh.
216
00:09:31,086 --> 00:09:33,087
The X Factor wasn't fresh.
217
00:09:33,088 --> 00:09:35,556
I've just seen
this demonstrated.
218
00:09:35,557 --> 00:09:37,591
Watch the scissors break.
219
00:09:52,524 --> 00:09:54,692
Did you realize we can make
anything in the world
220
00:09:54,693 --> 00:09:55,859
with this material?
221
00:09:55,860 --> 00:09:57,995
We can make suits
and dresses and fabrics.
222
00:09:57,996 --> 00:09:59,463
There's no limit
to what we can do.
223
00:09:59,464 --> 00:10:01,432
Roger, we're not gonna make
anything out of it.
224
00:10:01,433 --> 00:10:03,434
Oh, but why, master?
Well, think, Jeannie,
225
00:10:03,435 --> 00:10:04,735
if this ever got on the market,
226
00:10:04,736 --> 00:10:06,937
it could... Well, it could
destroy our whole economy.
227
00:10:06,938 --> 00:10:09,473
I don't think there'd be
a fabric firm in existence.
228
00:10:09,474 --> 00:10:10,508
It would affect, uh...
229
00:10:10,509 --> 00:10:12,310
Well, tailoring establishments,
230
00:10:12,311 --> 00:10:16,480
and, uh, cleaning and...
And clothing manufacturers,
231
00:10:16,481 --> 00:10:18,582
and finally, it'd get
down to trucks
232
00:10:18,583 --> 00:10:20,418
and rail road cars and gasoline.
233
00:10:20,419 --> 00:10:21,786
You dirty blouse.
234
00:10:21,787 --> 00:10:23,788
Let's destroy it
before it destroys us.
235
00:10:23,789 --> 00:10:27,425
How are you going to destroy it?
I'm gonna burn it.
236
00:10:27,426 --> 00:10:29,927
Here. But I do not think
it will burn, master.
237
00:10:29,928 --> 00:10:32,430
I wasn't planning
on using a match.
238
00:10:32,431 --> 00:10:34,432
[?]
239
00:10:43,892 --> 00:10:46,212
I'll hold the torch, Tony.
You light it.
240
00:10:47,512 --> 00:10:49,079
There we are.
241
00:10:50,015 --> 00:10:52,883
Here.
You hold it.
242
00:10:52,884 --> 00:10:55,419
Let's get this thing...
243
00:10:55,420 --> 00:10:58,155
There we are.
244
00:11:02,928 --> 00:11:04,128
Stand back.
245
00:11:06,414 --> 00:11:07,715
[DOORBELL RINGS]
246
00:11:07,716 --> 00:11:11,036
ROGER: Watch that we don't
burn the garage down.
247
00:11:12,121 --> 00:11:13,641
All right.
Let's give this a try.
248
00:11:17,309 --> 00:11:20,044
There's not a mark on it.
I can't believe it.
249
00:11:20,045 --> 00:11:21,212
I don't believe it, either.
250
00:11:21,213 --> 00:11:23,047
But I...
I just saw it.
251
00:11:25,700 --> 00:11:27,751
BELLOWS: You shot that
flame at this blouse.
252
00:11:27,752 --> 00:11:29,586
TONY:
Yes, I... I... Yes, I did.
253
00:11:29,587 --> 00:11:30,972
You saw it, Major Healey.
254
00:11:30,973 --> 00:11:32,389
Well, I...
255
00:11:32,390 --> 00:11:35,643
And this blouse is untouched.
You said so yourself.
256
00:11:35,644 --> 00:11:37,962
Did I? Yeah.
Oh, I did. Yes.
257
00:11:37,963 --> 00:11:39,931
Don't think I don't know
what you're up to.
258
00:11:39,932 --> 00:11:42,332
You're trying to keep
this to yourself.
259
00:11:42,333 --> 00:11:44,969
TONY: Oh, no, sir. It's
just not ready yet.
260
00:11:44,970 --> 00:11:48,673
BELLOWS: I want the secret formula
that you used on this, major.
261
00:11:48,674 --> 00:11:50,324
The X Factor.
262
00:11:50,325 --> 00:11:51,826
Uh, we just ran out, sir.
263
00:11:51,827 --> 00:11:54,579
As a matter of fact,
we just ran out right now.
264
00:11:55,530 --> 00:11:56,713
What's this?
265
00:12:00,902 --> 00:12:02,887
"Secret Formula."
266
00:12:05,123 --> 00:12:06,907
Uh-huh.
267
00:12:06,908 --> 00:12:08,509
"X Factor."
268
00:12:08,510 --> 00:12:09,543
This is it.
269
00:12:09,544 --> 00:12:10,645
Oh, no, sir.
270
00:12:10,646 --> 00:12:12,046
That's really not it.
It's not...
271
00:12:12,047 --> 00:12:14,448
I'll just take this with me.
272
00:12:14,449 --> 00:12:16,250
[STAMMERING]
Sir, you see, it's not...
273
00:12:16,251 --> 00:12:17,918
It's still
in the experimental stage.
274
00:12:17,919 --> 00:12:20,487
Mm, Major Nelson, I want you
to keep yourself available.
275
00:12:20,488 --> 00:12:24,258
Unless I miss my guess,
within 24 hours,
276
00:12:24,259 --> 00:12:26,927
we're going to be
at the White House.
277
00:12:32,467 --> 00:12:34,518
Now, keep your eye
on the blouse, general.
278
00:12:34,519 --> 00:12:36,320
It won't even be touched.
279
00:12:38,423 --> 00:12:40,374
[?]
280
00:12:51,836 --> 00:12:53,921
[?]
281
00:12:56,958 --> 00:12:58,458
Here. Let me get it
for you.
282
00:13:08,019 --> 00:13:10,454
Are you moving
to another office, sir?
283
00:13:10,455 --> 00:13:13,624
You might say that.
Permanently.
284
00:13:13,625 --> 00:13:15,025
I beg your pardon, sir?
285
00:13:15,026 --> 00:13:16,427
Oh, haven't they told you?
286
00:13:16,428 --> 00:13:19,863
General Peterson has transferred
me out of Cape Kennedy.
287
00:13:19,864 --> 00:13:21,064
Why?
288
00:13:21,065 --> 00:13:22,866
Because he's found
a place where he thinks
289
00:13:22,867 --> 00:13:25,035
I might be more useful.
290
00:13:25,036 --> 00:13:27,538
I'm going to Iceland. Sir?
291
00:13:27,539 --> 00:13:30,307
To work with the Eskimo.
292
00:13:30,308 --> 00:13:32,376
Why would General Peterson
do a thing like that?
293
00:13:32,377 --> 00:13:34,345
Your X Factor, major.
294
00:13:34,346 --> 00:13:35,712
My what?
295
00:13:35,713 --> 00:13:37,714
Well, I, uh...
296
00:13:37,715 --> 00:13:41,385
I tried to show
General Peterson how it worked.
297
00:13:41,386 --> 00:13:44,155
I destroyed three
of his uniforms.
298
00:13:44,156 --> 00:13:46,423
You didn't.
299
00:13:46,424 --> 00:13:47,858
I don't understand it,
300
00:13:47,859 --> 00:13:52,163
but, uh, the X Factor seems only
to have worked for you, yes?
301
00:13:52,164 --> 00:13:54,231
Sir, if I knew you were gonna
do a thing like that,
302
00:13:54,232 --> 00:13:57,000
I would have stopped you.
303
00:13:57,001 --> 00:13:58,402
Would you?
Yes.
304
00:13:59,887 --> 00:14:02,556
I'm sorry I couldn't have
stayed around here long enough
305
00:14:02,557 --> 00:14:04,959
to find out what makes you tick.
306
00:14:04,960 --> 00:14:08,862
Next to me, you're
probably the most interesting
307
00:14:08,863 --> 00:14:11,165
psychiatric case
I've ever come across.
308
00:14:11,166 --> 00:14:12,299
Next to you, sir?
309
00:14:12,300 --> 00:14:13,467
Yes.
310
00:14:13,468 --> 00:14:15,870
Sometimes I think
I'm losing my mind.
311
00:14:15,871 --> 00:14:19,139
One minute I'm rational
and then the next minute...
312
00:14:19,140 --> 00:14:22,059
You do things that...
313
00:14:22,060 --> 00:14:26,029
Oh, well, maybe the Eskimos
will be good for me.
314
00:14:26,030 --> 00:14:27,331
They're simple people.
315
00:14:29,267 --> 00:14:33,404
They don't float in the air
or change the days of the week
316
00:14:33,405 --> 00:14:35,038
or control the weather.
317
00:14:35,039 --> 00:14:37,491
Sir, perhaps if I have a word
with General Peterson myself...
318
00:14:37,492 --> 00:14:40,127
It won't do any good.
He's in a very upset state.
319
00:14:40,128 --> 00:14:43,196
I, uh... When I left him,
he was bellowing.
320
00:14:43,197 --> 00:14:44,197
No, I...
321
00:14:45,399 --> 00:14:46,900
I wouldn't go in there
if I were you.
322
00:14:46,901 --> 00:14:48,035
Uh, sir, perhaps...
323
00:14:48,036 --> 00:14:50,104
Oh, I'd appreciate it very much
324
00:14:50,105 --> 00:14:51,905
if you'd write to me
from time to time
325
00:14:51,906 --> 00:14:54,226
and, uh, let me know
what you're...
326
00:14:56,577 --> 00:14:59,013
doing.
327
00:14:59,014 --> 00:15:01,181
Yes, sir.
328
00:15:01,182 --> 00:15:02,549
Good luck, sir.
329
00:15:02,550 --> 00:15:03,884
Thank you.
330
00:15:11,976 --> 00:15:12,976
[WHISTLES]
331
00:15:12,977 --> 00:15:15,011
Quartermaster?
332
00:15:15,012 --> 00:15:16,846
Oh, hi, captain.
333
00:15:16,847 --> 00:15:18,949
Yeah, this is Major Healey.
Mm-hm.
334
00:15:18,950 --> 00:15:20,750
Look, I was just wondering,
335
00:15:20,751 --> 00:15:23,853
how much do we spend
a year on uniforms?
336
00:15:23,854 --> 00:15:26,156
Oh, that much.
337
00:15:26,157 --> 00:15:27,324
Look, I was just wondering,
338
00:15:27,325 --> 00:15:30,026
uh, what would you think
about this, uh...
339
00:15:30,027 --> 00:15:32,529
What if I came up with a uniform
340
00:15:32,530 --> 00:15:36,733
that if you put grease on it,
it wouldn't spot.
341
00:15:36,734 --> 00:15:37,934
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
342
00:15:37,935 --> 00:15:39,336
And you couldn't cut it.
343
00:15:39,337 --> 00:15:41,438
I mean, you couldn't tear it
or rip it or anything.
344
00:15:41,439 --> 00:15:43,707
Or, if you put a torch to it,
it wouldn't burn.
345
00:15:43,708 --> 00:15:46,076
[LINE CLICKS]
346
00:15:46,077 --> 00:15:47,211
Captain?
347
00:15:54,385 --> 00:15:56,170
Why would I keep
Dr. Bellows here?
348
00:15:56,171 --> 00:15:57,704
He's dangerous.
349
00:15:57,705 --> 00:15:59,407
Well, sir, I've worked
with Dr. Bellows
350
00:15:59,408 --> 00:16:00,607
for the last two years.
351
00:16:00,608 --> 00:16:02,843
And believe me, he's a man...
I know what he is.
352
00:16:02,844 --> 00:16:04,011
He walked into this office,
353
00:16:04,012 --> 00:16:05,712
said we were going
to Washington, D.C.,
354
00:16:05,713 --> 00:16:07,681
put some fly spray on me,
and he smeared grease
355
00:16:07,682 --> 00:16:09,616
all over my uniform.
356
00:16:09,617 --> 00:16:10,717
Yes, but I-I...
357
00:16:10,718 --> 00:16:12,719
Then he came back
with a pair of scissors,
358
00:16:12,720 --> 00:16:16,390
put some tea on me and started
cutting up another uniform.
359
00:16:16,391 --> 00:16:19,760
And then he came in,
and he set fire to this.
360
00:16:21,696 --> 00:16:23,464
Kind of scorched it.
361
00:16:24,749 --> 00:16:28,452
I-I-I don't suppose
it could be patched.
362
00:16:28,453 --> 00:16:29,953
I've got to get him out of here
363
00:16:29,954 --> 00:16:31,122
before I run out of clothes.
364
00:16:31,123 --> 00:16:32,723
Look what I gotta wear!
365
00:16:32,724 --> 00:16:35,292
Well, uh, you see, Dr. Bellows
is rather highly-strung, sir.
366
00:16:35,293 --> 00:16:37,728
Highly-strung?
He's snapped.
367
00:16:37,729 --> 00:16:39,730
I'm sure if you'd give him
another chance, general,
368
00:16:39,731 --> 00:16:41,598
he would be...
If I gave him another chance,
369
00:16:41,599 --> 00:16:43,433
by next Monday I'd be naked.
370
00:16:43,434 --> 00:16:44,518
No, sir.
371
00:16:44,519 --> 00:16:47,187
Let the Eskimos worry
about him for a while.
372
00:16:47,188 --> 00:16:50,574
Well, I feel partially
responsible for this, general.
373
00:16:50,575 --> 00:16:53,310
You see, Dr. Bellows saw
Major Healey and I
374
00:16:53,311 --> 00:16:54,812
conducting an experiment,
375
00:16:54,813 --> 00:16:57,748
and he thought we were able to
take an ordinary piece of cloth
376
00:16:57,749 --> 00:16:59,549
and make it
practically indestructible.
377
00:16:59,550 --> 00:17:02,352
Tony, I admire loyalty
in any man.
378
00:17:02,353 --> 00:17:03,653
I'm only coming
to his defense, sir,
379
00:17:03,654 --> 00:17:05,973
because I don't want
to see an injustice done.
380
00:17:05,974 --> 00:17:08,041
Tony, I want to give you
a little advice.
381
00:17:08,042 --> 00:17:09,343
Yes, sir.
382
00:17:09,344 --> 00:17:10,710
It's the same advice
I'd give you
383
00:17:10,711 --> 00:17:12,712
if you were my own son.
384
00:17:12,713 --> 00:17:13,730
Yes, sir.
385
00:17:13,731 --> 00:17:15,982
Get out.
386
00:17:15,983 --> 00:17:17,935
[?]
387
00:17:31,566 --> 00:17:32,932
Check.
388
00:17:34,035 --> 00:17:35,803
[SIGHS]
389
00:17:44,529 --> 00:17:46,029
[LAUGHS]
390
00:17:46,030 --> 00:17:47,798
Checkmate.
391
00:17:49,033 --> 00:17:50,568
Congratulations.
392
00:17:50,569 --> 00:17:54,338
Oh, thank you, master.
393
00:17:54,339 --> 00:17:56,440
Is anything wrong?
394
00:17:56,441 --> 00:17:59,042
They're sending
Dr. Bellows to Iceland.
395
00:17:59,043 --> 00:18:01,645
Oh!
396
00:18:01,646 --> 00:18:03,114
And this does not please you?
397
00:18:03,115 --> 00:18:04,548
No. It does not please me.
398
00:18:04,549 --> 00:18:06,250
Oh, well, where would you
like him to go?
399
00:18:06,251 --> 00:18:07,751
I wouldn't like him
to go anywhere.
400
00:18:07,752 --> 00:18:09,487
Jeannie, Dr. Bellows
is being punished
401
00:18:09,488 --> 00:18:11,822
for something
that was not his fault.
402
00:18:11,823 --> 00:18:14,492
And would you like
to know whose fault it is?
403
00:18:14,493 --> 00:18:18,862
Hm, no, I do not think so.
404
00:18:18,863 --> 00:18:20,697
One little wish.
405
00:18:20,698 --> 00:18:23,334
You grant Roger Healey
one little wish,
406
00:18:23,335 --> 00:18:25,402
and we lose Dr. Bellows.
407
00:18:25,403 --> 00:18:26,703
He's a very good man.
408
00:18:26,704 --> 00:18:28,205
This base can't afford
to lose him.
409
00:18:28,206 --> 00:18:30,574
Well, did you explain
this to General Peterson?
410
00:18:30,575 --> 00:18:31,575
General Peterson.
411
00:18:31,576 --> 00:18:33,677
He just tossed me
out of his office.
412
00:18:33,678 --> 00:18:34,778
He... He toss...
413
00:18:34,779 --> 00:18:36,180
[GRUNTING] Now, wait a minute!
414
00:18:36,181 --> 00:18:37,314
Now, don't, please.
415
00:18:37,315 --> 00:18:39,082
Not General Peterson.
I don't need that.
416
00:18:39,083 --> 00:18:40,451
No, I really don't need that.
417
00:18:40,452 --> 00:18:42,953
Well, surely there must be
someone above General Peterson?
418
00:18:42,954 --> 00:18:44,755
Yeah. Well,
there's General Burke.
419
00:18:44,756 --> 00:18:47,224
That's his immediate superior.
But he's at the Pentagon.
420
00:18:47,225 --> 00:18:49,059
How would I ever
explain that to him?
421
00:18:49,060 --> 00:18:51,428
Oh, do not worry, master.
I will explain it.
422
00:18:51,429 --> 00:18:52,829
Yeah...
423
00:18:56,134 --> 00:18:58,135
[?]
424
00:19:01,839 --> 00:19:02,973
Oh!
425
00:19:07,044 --> 00:19:08,978
[JEANNIE'S VOICE]
Good afternoon, airman.
426
00:19:23,378 --> 00:19:24,644
Yes?
427
00:19:24,645 --> 00:19:26,113
Ah, it's General Patterson.
428
00:19:26,114 --> 00:19:27,181
Peterson.
429
00:19:27,182 --> 00:19:28,748
Ah, of course.
430
00:19:28,749 --> 00:19:30,050
I'm Colonel Harris.
431
00:19:30,051 --> 00:19:31,351
General Burke sent me.
432
00:19:31,352 --> 00:19:33,454
Well, I'm very happy
to know you, colonel.
433
00:19:33,455 --> 00:19:34,788
General Burke here?
434
00:19:34,789 --> 00:19:37,091
Here?
No, he'll be down later.
435
00:19:37,092 --> 00:19:39,025
He wanted me to tell you
how pleased he is
436
00:19:39,026 --> 00:19:40,827
with the work you've
been doing, general.
437
00:19:40,828 --> 00:19:42,196
Is he?
438
00:19:42,197 --> 00:19:44,465
Well, we all try to do our best.
439
00:19:44,466 --> 00:19:46,366
We have a good team here,
you know.
440
00:19:46,367 --> 00:19:49,536
Those are the general's
exact words.
441
00:19:49,537 --> 00:19:51,638
Um, may I tell you
something in confidence?
442
00:19:51,639 --> 00:19:53,273
Why, certainly, colonel.
443
00:19:53,274 --> 00:19:55,476
The reason the general
is coming here
444
00:19:55,477 --> 00:19:57,511
is to give
a special commendation
445
00:19:57,512 --> 00:19:59,846
to one of the members
of your team.
446
00:19:59,847 --> 00:20:01,881
Well, that's wonderful.
Who is he?
447
00:20:01,882 --> 00:20:03,616
Uh, Dr. Bellows.
448
00:20:04,369 --> 00:20:05,986
Dr. Bellows.
449
00:20:05,987 --> 00:20:09,439
Uh, General Burke says
he's been doing a great job.
450
00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:10,774
Well, where is he, general?
451
00:20:10,775 --> 00:20:11,842
Well, as a matter of fact,
452
00:20:11,843 --> 00:20:14,545
Dr. Bellows is... Is just
leaving on a little trip.
453
00:20:14,546 --> 00:20:16,480
He may even be gone by now.
454
00:20:16,481 --> 00:20:18,331
General Burke is gonna be
surprised to hear
455
00:20:18,332 --> 00:20:19,500
you could spare him.
456
00:20:19,501 --> 00:20:21,267
But I suppose
it's just for the weekend.
457
00:20:21,268 --> 00:20:22,902
You know, General Burke
and Dr. Bellows
458
00:20:22,903 --> 00:20:24,538
are old classmates.
459
00:20:24,539 --> 00:20:26,272
Old classmates.
460
00:20:26,273 --> 00:20:27,541
I didn't know that.
461
00:20:27,542 --> 00:20:28,809
Oh, yes.
462
00:20:28,810 --> 00:20:30,844
General Burke thinks
the world of Dr. Bellows.
463
00:20:30,845 --> 00:20:32,262
He does?
464
00:20:32,263 --> 00:20:34,564
Yes, they're cousins.
465
00:20:34,565 --> 00:20:35,815
They're cousins.
466
00:20:35,816 --> 00:20:38,234
First cousins.
467
00:20:38,235 --> 00:20:40,921
Well, I don't think
Dr. Bellows
468
00:20:40,922 --> 00:20:43,123
will be going away on
that trip after all.
469
00:20:43,124 --> 00:20:45,025
You tell General Burke
I'd find it hard
470
00:20:45,026 --> 00:20:46,527
to get along without him.
471
00:20:46,528 --> 00:20:48,028
Oh, goody!
472
00:20:48,029 --> 00:20:50,747
Um, uh, the General
will be pleased to hear that.
473
00:20:50,748 --> 00:20:52,949
Will you excuse me
for a moment, colonel?
474
00:20:52,950 --> 00:20:54,318
Just make yourself at home.
475
00:21:02,294 --> 00:21:03,710
[LAUGHING]
476
00:21:05,312 --> 00:21:07,247
Whee!
477
00:21:24,949 --> 00:21:26,917
Oh, Dr. Bellows, I...
478
00:21:26,918 --> 00:21:28,217
Yes, general?
479
00:21:30,621 --> 00:21:31,988
What are you doing?
480
00:21:31,989 --> 00:21:34,791
Doing?
I'm packing.
481
00:21:34,792 --> 00:21:37,627
Packing?
Where you going?
482
00:21:37,628 --> 00:21:38,628
Where am I going?
483
00:21:38,629 --> 00:21:40,129
You've sent me to Siberia...
484
00:21:40,130 --> 00:21:41,731
Um, I mean, Iceland.
485
00:21:41,732 --> 00:21:44,133
Do you know the trouble
with you, doctor?
486
00:21:44,134 --> 00:21:45,702
[CHUCKLING]
You're too sensitive.
487
00:21:45,703 --> 00:21:47,203
I'm too sensitive?
488
00:21:47,204 --> 00:21:49,706
Well, you don't really think
we could get along around here
489
00:21:49,707 --> 00:21:51,140
without you, did ya?
490
00:21:51,141 --> 00:21:55,078
But, general, you ordered me
to pack my things and get out.
491
00:21:55,079 --> 00:21:56,780
[CHUCKLING] Oh.
492
00:21:56,781 --> 00:21:58,381
And you thought I meant it?
493
00:21:58,382 --> 00:21:59,783
Didn't you?
494
00:21:59,784 --> 00:22:02,436
Well, as I was just saying
to a friend of your cousin's,
495
00:22:02,437 --> 00:22:05,606
I couldn't possibly
get along without you.
496
00:22:05,607 --> 00:22:06,873
My cousin's?
497
00:22:06,874 --> 00:22:10,610
After all, uh,
what's a few uniforms?
498
00:22:10,611 --> 00:22:16,332
General, you mean I don't
have to leave Cape Kennedy?
499
00:22:16,333 --> 00:22:18,969
Why, I wouldn't dream
of letting ya go.
500
00:22:18,970 --> 00:22:22,038
I'll deduct the uniforms
from your pay.
501
00:22:22,039 --> 00:22:23,741
I don't know what to say.
502
00:22:23,742 --> 00:22:25,409
Well, don't say anything.
503
00:22:25,410 --> 00:22:27,711
And Doctor?
Yes?
504
00:22:27,712 --> 00:22:30,414
Try to get plenty of rest.
505
00:22:30,415 --> 00:22:32,148
I certainly will.
506
00:22:32,149 --> 00:22:35,318
Oh, and I'm awfully sorry
about your uniforms.
507
00:22:35,319 --> 00:22:36,420
Oh, forget it.
508
00:22:36,421 --> 00:22:38,405
Oh, I'll never forget it,
general.
509
00:22:52,653 --> 00:22:53,937
[BOTH LAUGHING]
510
00:22:53,938 --> 00:22:56,523
So Jeannie came back here,
and she called General Peterson
511
00:22:56,524 --> 00:22:58,925
and told him that General Burke
would not be able to make it
512
00:22:58,926 --> 00:23:00,393
until the later part
of the month.
513
00:23:00,394 --> 00:23:01,661
Oh, that's marvelous.
514
00:23:01,662 --> 00:23:03,530
Well, I guess the old quack
is still with us.
515
00:23:03,531 --> 00:23:05,732
He's not a quack, Roger.
He's a very competent man.
516
00:23:05,733 --> 00:23:07,501
Oh, I enjoyed getting him
out of trouble.
517
00:23:07,502 --> 00:23:08,502
Mm.
Well, you should.
518
00:23:08,503 --> 00:23:10,203
You enjoyed getting him
into it enough.
519
00:23:10,204 --> 00:23:11,204
I did not.
520
00:23:11,205 --> 00:23:12,572
You did too.
Are you finished?
521
00:23:12,573 --> 00:23:13,973
Huh? Yeah.
522
00:23:13,974 --> 00:23:15,125
Look, Jeannie...
I did not.
523
00:23:15,126 --> 00:23:16,193
You did too.
524
00:23:16,194 --> 00:23:17,694
Listen, I know you
didn't mean to...
525
00:23:17,695 --> 00:23:19,729
[ARGUING]
526
00:23:19,730 --> 00:23:21,565
Wait a minute, will ya?
527
00:23:21,566 --> 00:23:23,467
I'm the one that got cheated
out of the wish.
528
00:23:23,468 --> 00:23:25,535
I didn't get to finish
my strawberry shortcake.
529
00:23:25,536 --> 00:23:27,704
Now, all I want is one wish.
What's wrong with that?
530
00:23:27,705 --> 00:23:28,871
No, no, Roger.
Just one.
531
00:23:28,872 --> 00:23:30,740
I'm not gonna grant...
Now, wait a minute.
532
00:23:30,741 --> 00:23:32,041
Please, master, may I, please?
533
00:23:32,042 --> 00:23:34,144
Now, don't you start on me.
She wants to give me...
534
00:23:34,145 --> 00:23:36,480
I've had enough
of this. No!
535
00:23:36,481 --> 00:23:37,814
No... All right!
All right!
536
00:23:37,815 --> 00:23:39,015
All right?
537
00:23:39,016 --> 00:23:40,850
You mean you're gonna
give me one wish?
538
00:23:40,851 --> 00:23:42,202
Oh, boy!
I'm rich.
539
00:23:42,203 --> 00:23:43,537
Oh, yachts and chateaus.
540
00:23:43,538 --> 00:23:45,071
Chateaus and yachts.
Yeah, I got it.
541
00:23:45,072 --> 00:23:46,406
Wait, no.
Wait, wait, wait!
542
00:23:46,407 --> 00:23:47,908
I'll be a rich movie star,
that's it.
543
00:23:47,909 --> 00:23:49,075
A movie star.
Movie star?
544
00:23:49,076 --> 00:23:50,476
Rich movie star.
No, no, no, no!
545
00:23:50,477 --> 00:23:52,345
Oh, wait. Maybe I should be
a brain surgeon.
546
00:23:52,346 --> 00:23:53,747
Brain surgeon.
547
00:23:53,748 --> 00:23:56,282
Roger, you know, you're
the funniest man I've ever met.
548
00:23:56,283 --> 00:23:57,450
You know something?
549
00:23:57,451 --> 00:23:59,385
You know what I wished
when I was a little boy?
550
00:23:59,386 --> 00:24:01,605
I-I wished I were
the funniest man in the world.
551
00:24:03,457 --> 00:24:06,059
Here, you hold this
and I'll hold this.
552
00:24:06,060 --> 00:24:07,126
Aw.
553
00:24:07,127 --> 00:24:08,795
Hi, Groucho.
554
00:24:17,304 --> 00:24:19,305
[?]
555
00:24:19,355 --> 00:24:23,905
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
38617
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
