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1
00:00:02,768 --> 00:00:04,736
[?]
2
00:00:04,657 --> 00:00:06,190
Now?
3
00:00:06,128 --> 00:00:09,064
Yes, I can... I can bring them
over right now.
4
00:00:08,945 --> 00:00:10,579
At the country club.
5
00:00:10,513 --> 00:00:12,393
Yes, sir.
Right away, sir.
6
00:00:14,770 --> 00:00:16,437
Would you mind knocking
the next time?
7
00:00:16,370 --> 00:00:17,837
Certainly, master.
8
00:00:17,778 --> 00:00:19,545
Where shall we go first?
9
00:00:19,474 --> 00:00:20,675
Oh, uh, Jeannie, I'm sorry.
10
00:00:20,627 --> 00:00:22,294
Something very
important has come up.
11
00:00:22,227 --> 00:00:23,794
I won't be able
to take you out today.
12
00:00:23,731 --> 00:00:24,965
But you promised.
13
00:00:24,915 --> 00:00:26,716
This is Saturday,
and you're not working.
14
00:00:26,644 --> 00:00:28,044
And you said
that you would spend
15
00:00:27,988 --> 00:00:28,988
the whole day with me.
16
00:00:28,948 --> 00:00:29,981
Yes, I know I did.
17
00:00:29,940 --> 00:00:31,608
But General Peterson
wants me to bring
18
00:00:31,540 --> 00:00:33,841
some very important papers
to him at the country club.
19
00:00:33,748 --> 00:00:35,449
And he's in a big hurry.
20
00:00:35,381 --> 00:00:36,414
A big hurry?
21
00:00:36,373 --> 00:00:37,573
A big hurry.
22
00:00:43,542 --> 00:00:45,043
Oh. Good morning.
23
00:00:46,006 --> 00:00:47,340
Good morning.
24
00:00:48,375 --> 00:00:50,576
Jeannie...
25
00:00:50,487 --> 00:00:51,787
Jeannie!
26
00:00:55,832 --> 00:00:58,800
[?]
27
00:01:39,581 --> 00:01:42,683
[?]
28
00:01:45,919 --> 00:01:47,919
Jeannie.
Jeannie!
29
00:01:48,671 --> 00:01:51,340
Ooh, this is nice.
30
00:01:51,232 --> 00:01:54,000
It reminds me of
the Hanging Gardens of Babylon.
31
00:01:53,888 --> 00:01:55,522
Yes. Yeah, uh,
Jeannie, look,
32
00:01:55,456 --> 00:01:57,157
I-I could be
court-martialed for this.
33
00:01:57,088 --> 00:01:58,555
I don't mind being
out of uniform.
34
00:01:58,496 --> 00:02:00,777
Would you mind getting me
dressed, please?
35
00:02:03,008 --> 00:02:04,276
Oh, uh...
36
00:02:04,226 --> 00:02:06,507
Uh, my... My briefcase,
please.
37
00:02:07,906 --> 00:02:09,173
What is this place?
38
00:02:09,122 --> 00:02:11,090
Oh, this is a...
A golf course.
39
00:02:11,011 --> 00:02:12,044
A country club.
40
00:02:12,003 --> 00:02:13,003
They play golf here.
41
00:02:12,963 --> 00:02:14,263
Ooh. Do you play
this golf?
42
00:02:14,211 --> 00:02:15,344
No, I don't.
43
00:02:15,298 --> 00:02:16,999
Jeannie, I have
a very important report
44
00:02:16,931 --> 00:02:18,498
to get to the general.
45
00:02:18,435 --> 00:02:20,536
Uh, why don't you look
around here or something.
46
00:02:20,451 --> 00:02:21,919
Oh, all right, master.
47
00:02:21,860 --> 00:02:23,461
Maybe later on,
if he doesn't need me,
48
00:02:23,397 --> 00:02:24,563
I could take you for a drive
49
00:02:24,516 --> 00:02:25,516
down to the beach, huh?
50
00:02:25,476 --> 00:02:26,543
Ohh...
51
00:02:26,501 --> 00:02:27,668
Thank you, master.
52
00:02:27,621 --> 00:02:29,422
Okay. You just
take a look around.
53
00:02:29,349 --> 00:02:30,349
All right.
54
00:02:34,373 --> 00:02:35,906
Uh, general.
Dr. Bellows.
55
00:02:35,845 --> 00:02:36,946
Tony, you must live
56
00:02:36,902 --> 00:02:38,369
right next to the golf course.
57
00:02:38,310 --> 00:02:41,079
The route I took, sir,
there wasn't much traffic.
58
00:02:40,967 --> 00:02:43,869
Strange. When I drove out here,
it was bumper-to-bumper.
59
00:02:43,751 --> 00:02:44,851
Uh, I have the reports, sir.
60
00:02:44,807 --> 00:02:46,808
The correlation tables
worked out more or less
61
00:02:46,728 --> 00:02:47,728
the way we expected.
62
00:02:47,688 --> 00:02:49,088
You'll be pleased.
Good.
63
00:02:49,032 --> 00:02:51,801
I wanna go over them before
the meeting Monday morning.
64
00:02:51,688 --> 00:02:52,954
Thanks for bringing it over.
65
00:02:52,904 --> 00:02:53,704
Thank you, sir. Doctor.
66
00:02:53,672 --> 00:02:55,573
Goodbye, Major Nelson.
67
00:02:56,393 --> 00:02:59,028
Doctor, we have a problem.
68
00:02:58,922 --> 00:03:00,122
I know, sir.
69
00:03:00,074 --> 00:03:01,908
I'm keeping an eye on him.
70
00:03:01,834 --> 00:03:03,902
I'm talking about the fact
that Admiral Tugwell
71
00:03:03,818 --> 00:03:05,685
and his aide are flying
down here next week.
72
00:03:05,610 --> 00:03:07,645
Oh. They're coming down
to inspect the base?
73
00:03:07,563 --> 00:03:08,563
Oh, don't be naive.
74
00:03:08,523 --> 00:03:10,357
They've seen the base.
75
00:03:10,283 --> 00:03:12,250
The admiral is coming down
for some golf.
76
00:03:12,171 --> 00:03:13,438
We do this once a year.
77
00:03:13,387 --> 00:03:16,088
And he's beaten me
seven years in a row.
78
00:03:15,979 --> 00:03:17,113
This year
79
00:03:17,067 --> 00:03:18,401
I intend to beat him.
80
00:03:18,348 --> 00:03:20,149
I wish you luck, general.
81
00:03:20,076 --> 00:03:22,177
Now, the admiral and
his aide shoot in the low 70s.
82
00:03:22,092 --> 00:03:23,559
So do I.
83
00:03:23,501 --> 00:03:26,469
But I can beat them if I can
find the right man to play with.
84
00:03:26,348 --> 00:03:30,185
Well, now... how about Henderson
or Lukerthon?
85
00:03:30,030 --> 00:03:32,832
Well, they're good,
but not good enough.
86
00:03:32,718 --> 00:03:35,019
I need someone
who's almost a pro.
87
00:03:34,926 --> 00:03:36,192
And that's where you come in.
88
00:03:36,141 --> 00:03:37,542
[LAUGHS]
89
00:03:37,486 --> 00:03:39,353
I don't play golf, general.
90
00:03:39,278 --> 00:03:41,413
But you have the files
of every man on the base.
91
00:03:42,479 --> 00:03:45,916
I want you to find me
the best golfer we have.
92
00:03:45,776 --> 00:03:48,843
I'm not gonna let the Navy
beat the Air Force again.
93
00:03:48,719 --> 00:03:50,921
I understand, sir.
94
00:03:50,832 --> 00:03:52,066
I'll just make a phone call.
95
00:03:52,017 --> 00:03:53,217
You do that.
96
00:03:53,169 --> 00:03:54,236
Excuse me, general.
97
00:04:02,898 --> 00:04:04,099
[WHISTLES]
98
00:04:04,051 --> 00:04:06,085
That looks like fun.
99
00:04:06,003 --> 00:04:07,370
Well, hello, major.
100
00:04:07,315 --> 00:04:08,315
It is fun.
101
00:04:08,275 --> 00:04:09,675
I'm Jerry Barber.
102
00:04:09,619 --> 00:04:11,020
I'm the professional here.
103
00:04:10,963 --> 00:04:12,130
How do you do?
Very nice to...
104
00:04:12,084 --> 00:04:13,650
Would you like to try one?
105
00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:15,155
Oh. Oh, I don't
play golf. Sorry.
106
00:04:15,092 --> 00:04:16,726
Oh, come on.
Go ahead.
107
00:04:16,660 --> 00:04:17,660
Really?
108
00:04:17,620 --> 00:04:18,620
Please do.
109
00:04:28,182 --> 00:04:29,816
Where did I go wrong?
110
00:04:29,750 --> 00:04:32,085
Major, put your feet
a little farther apart.
111
00:04:33,334 --> 00:04:36,003
Put your hands on the club
a little over here. Okay.
112
00:04:35,895 --> 00:04:37,161
Bend over a little.
113
00:04:37,111 --> 00:04:38,245
Try it again.
114
00:04:42,808 --> 00:04:45,248
Well, I'm afraid I'm
not much of a golfer.
115
00:04:46,392 --> 00:04:47,992
Try it again, major.
116
00:04:47,928 --> 00:04:49,596
Feet a little farther apart.
117
00:04:49,529 --> 00:04:51,229
Bend over a little at the waist.
Yeah.
118
00:04:51,161 --> 00:04:53,596
Hands a little firmer on the club.
Right, right.
119
00:04:53,497 --> 00:04:55,897
It's a lot harder than it looks.
120
00:04:56,346 --> 00:04:58,680
I'd like to be able to
knock this ball about,
121
00:04:58,586 --> 00:05:01,521
oh, 400 yards down the fairway.
122
00:05:01,402 --> 00:05:03,470
Well, major, I'm afraid
there's very few people
123
00:05:03,386 --> 00:05:04,866
that have ever done that.
124
00:05:10,684 --> 00:05:11,984
And you're one of them.
125
00:05:12,668 --> 00:05:15,336
That was a 400-yard drive.
126
00:05:17,884 --> 00:05:19,085
I got his name, general.
127
00:05:19,037 --> 00:05:20,337
It's Edward Sheldon.
128
00:05:20,285 --> 00:05:21,385
He shoots in the low 70s.
129
00:05:21,341 --> 00:05:22,508
Forget it.
130
00:05:22,461 --> 00:05:24,295
I got a man
who shoots in the 60s.
131
00:05:24,221 --> 00:05:25,788
In the 60s?
Who's that, sir?
132
00:05:25,725 --> 00:05:27,592
Major Nelson.
133
00:05:27,517 --> 00:05:29,085
Tony Nelson?
134
00:05:29,022 --> 00:05:31,556
Oh... general,
I happen to know
135
00:05:31,454 --> 00:05:32,856
he doesn't even play golf.
136
00:05:32,799 --> 00:05:34,599
You really got it
in for him, haven't you?
137
00:05:34,527 --> 00:05:35,794
Not at all, sir.
138
00:05:35,743 --> 00:05:38,111
It's not my fault
he doesn't play golf.
139
00:05:38,015 --> 00:05:39,281
I saw him at a driving range
140
00:05:39,231 --> 00:05:40,666
one day with Major Healey.
141
00:05:40,608 --> 00:05:41,941
Oh, he was terrible.
142
00:05:41,888 --> 00:05:44,223
He's good enough
to beat Admiral Tugwell.
143
00:05:44,128 --> 00:05:45,595
I've been waiting
for this chance
144
00:05:45,536 --> 00:05:47,637
for seven years.
145
00:05:47,552 --> 00:05:50,554
General... if you want
to win that match,
146
00:05:50,433 --> 00:05:52,935
I assure you, you're
making a terrible mistake.
147
00:05:52,834 --> 00:05:54,434
I'm not only gonna win it.
148
00:05:54,369 --> 00:05:56,738
I'm doubling the stakes.
149
00:05:56,643 --> 00:05:59,110
A 400-yard drive.
150
00:05:59,010 --> 00:06:00,645
Could you do that again, major?
151
00:06:00,579 --> 00:06:02,913
Oh, no. Never
in a million years.
152
00:06:02,819 --> 00:06:04,520
It's just a lucky fluke.
153
00:06:04,451 --> 00:06:06,251
How about trying it?
154
00:06:06,179 --> 00:06:08,460
Well, all right.
If you really want me to.
155
00:06:14,053 --> 00:06:16,254
You did it again.
156
00:06:16,165 --> 00:06:17,399
That's the most remarkable drive
157
00:06:17,349 --> 00:06:18,916
I've ever seen in my life.
158
00:06:18,853 --> 00:06:21,187
That's easily 400 yards.
159
00:06:21,093 --> 00:06:23,528
Well, I... guess I'm better
than I thought.
160
00:06:23,429 --> 00:06:25,196
Major, I guess
maybe you are too.
161
00:06:25,125 --> 00:06:26,326
Will you excuse me, major?
162
00:06:26,278 --> 00:06:27,445
I've got a lesson.
163
00:06:27,399 --> 00:06:28,599
Oh. Oh. I'll have to be off.
164
00:06:28,550 --> 00:06:29,684
Very... Good luck to you.
165
00:06:29,639 --> 00:06:31,606
Thank you. And thank you
for the instruction.
166
00:06:31,527 --> 00:06:33,007
Thank you.
How about that.
167
00:06:34,695 --> 00:06:35,695
Well...
168
00:06:35,655 --> 00:06:37,723
[LAUGHS] Hi, Jeannie.
169
00:06:37,640 --> 00:06:39,074
Jeannie, what?
170
00:06:39,016 --> 00:06:40,050
Did...?
171
00:06:41,097 --> 00:06:42,798
Oh, I see.
172
00:06:42,729 --> 00:06:44,830
Hey.
It's Dr. Bellows.
173
00:06:44,745 --> 00:06:46,311
Ahem.
174
00:06:51,049 --> 00:06:52,417
Major Nelson.
175
00:06:52,362 --> 00:06:53,362
Oh,
Dr. Bellows.
176
00:06:53,322 --> 00:06:55,256
Have you taken up golf?
177
00:06:55,178 --> 00:06:57,179
No, I'm afraid I'll never
become a golfer, sir.
178
00:06:57,098 --> 00:06:58,365
Well, that's what I thought.
179
00:06:58,315 --> 00:07:00,949
And yet I wouldn't
want to be wrong again.
180
00:07:00,842 --> 00:07:02,077
Wrong about what?
181
00:07:02,028 --> 00:07:03,094
Oh, nothing.
182
00:07:03,051 --> 00:07:05,253
Oh, would you mind
hitting a ball for me?
183
00:07:05,164 --> 00:07:06,330
And what for, sir?
184
00:07:06,284 --> 00:07:08,618
Well, I-I'd just like to
see you hit the ball.
185
00:07:08,523 --> 00:07:10,925
Oh, sort of, test
my reflexes, sort of?
186
00:07:10,828 --> 00:07:12,129
Oh, something like that.
187
00:07:12,077 --> 00:07:13,117
All right.
188
00:07:14,381 --> 00:07:18,050
You see, uh, the important thing
is to grip the club firmly,
189
00:07:17,901 --> 00:07:19,269
uh, bend over slightly
190
00:07:19,214 --> 00:07:21,254
and keep your feet wide apart.
191
00:07:28,398 --> 00:07:29,899
Uh-huh.
192
00:07:31,728 --> 00:07:33,195
I'm afraid that
wasn't very good.
193
00:07:33,136 --> 00:07:34,269
I'll give it another try.
194
00:07:34,223 --> 00:07:35,624
Oh, no, no, no.
I've seen enough.
195
00:07:35,568 --> 00:07:37,469
General Peterson would like you
196
00:07:37,392 --> 00:07:39,726
to stop by his office
this afternoon.
197
00:07:39,632 --> 00:07:40,632
I wonder why?
198
00:07:40,592 --> 00:07:42,192
So do I.
199
00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:44,196
So do I.
200
00:07:44,112 --> 00:07:45,113
[CHUCKLES]
201
00:07:46,386 --> 00:07:48,253
Be your golf partner
in a tournament?
202
00:07:48,177 --> 00:07:50,045
Well, I'm afraid
that's impossible, sir.
203
00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:51,537
Impossible?
204
00:07:51,474 --> 00:07:52,875
Why is it impossible?
205
00:07:52,819 --> 00:07:54,219
Well, uh, for one thing...
206
00:07:54,163 --> 00:07:56,765
You're not turning
professional, are you?
207
00:07:56,659 --> 00:07:57,692
Professional, sir?
208
00:07:57,651 --> 00:07:58,951
I couldn't even make amateur.
209
00:07:58,899 --> 00:08:00,066
Ah!
210
00:08:00,019 --> 00:08:01,185
The admiral got to you.
211
00:08:01,139 --> 00:08:02,307
Oh. No, sir.
212
00:08:02,260 --> 00:08:03,760
I don't know
who's been telling you
213
00:08:03,700 --> 00:08:04,700
I'm a great golfer.
214
00:08:04,660 --> 00:08:05,760
But they're kidding you.
215
00:08:05,716 --> 00:08:07,083
My average drive is three feet.
216
00:08:07,028 --> 00:08:08,429
That is, if the wind's with me.
217
00:08:08,373 --> 00:08:10,039
Tony, I don't want to
pry into your life.
218
00:08:09,972 --> 00:08:11,140
If you've given up golf,
219
00:08:11,093 --> 00:08:13,361
I'm sure you had
a good reason for it.
220
00:08:13,269 --> 00:08:14,235
Given it up, sir?
221
00:08:14,197 --> 00:08:15,297
Well, maybe it's taken up
222
00:08:15,253 --> 00:08:16,253
too much of your time,
223
00:08:16,213 --> 00:08:17,480
or you gave someone a promise
224
00:08:17,429 --> 00:08:18,797
not to play anymore.
225
00:08:18,743 --> 00:08:20,744
No, no, sir,
I-I assure you...
226
00:08:20,663 --> 00:08:22,496
I don't care
what your reasons are.
227
00:08:23,767 --> 00:08:26,502
You're my partner
in that golf match Saturday.
228
00:08:27,735 --> 00:08:28,869
I want to win that
229
00:08:28,823 --> 00:08:31,125
more than I want to win
anything in my life.
230
00:08:31,032 --> 00:08:33,633
And you're asking me
to be your golf partner?
231
00:08:33,528 --> 00:08:35,295
I'm not asking you.
I'm telling you.
232
00:08:35,224 --> 00:08:36,324
Oh...
233
00:08:36,280 --> 00:08:39,850
someone's in for
a big surprise Saturday.
234
00:08:39,705 --> 00:08:40,786
[LAUGHS UNCOMFORTABLY]
235
00:08:41,817 --> 00:08:43,584
Whatever made you
do a thing like that?
236
00:08:43,513 --> 00:08:45,347
You did.
Me?
237
00:08:45,273 --> 00:08:47,875
Well, you said you wanted
to hit the ball 400 yards.
238
00:08:47,770 --> 00:08:49,771
Yeah, well, why do
you listen to me?
239
00:08:49,690 --> 00:08:51,391
Because I want to
make you happy.
240
00:08:51,323 --> 00:08:52,356
You want to make me happy?
241
00:08:52,315 --> 00:08:54,416
At my own court-martial
you want to make me happy?
242
00:08:54,331 --> 00:08:56,332
Jeannie, if I don't play
that game on Saturday,
243
00:08:56,251 --> 00:08:57,718
General Peterson's gonna think
244
00:08:57,659 --> 00:08:59,127
I'm the poorest sport
of the year.
245
00:08:59,068 --> 00:09:01,588
And if I do play,
he's gonna kill me.
246
00:09:02,076 --> 00:09:03,543
Do not worry, master.
247
00:09:03,484 --> 00:09:05,852
I will see that you play well.
248
00:09:05,757 --> 00:09:07,357
Now, Jeannie,
that's just the point.
249
00:09:07,292 --> 00:09:09,527
I can't let you
do something like that.
250
00:09:09,437 --> 00:09:11,639
I-I don't know how it was
in Baghdad in the old days,
251
00:09:11,550 --> 00:09:14,218
but we have something here
called, uh, sportsmanship.
252
00:09:14,110 --> 00:09:16,378
You... You simply
don't cheat at games.
253
00:09:16,286 --> 00:09:18,587
You finally got me
in a spot I can't get out of.
254
00:09:18,494 --> 00:09:20,528
Oh, I'm sorry, master.
255
00:09:20,446 --> 00:09:22,607
ROGER:
Hello. Anybody home?
256
00:09:23,231 --> 00:09:25,733
[LAUGHS] Oh. Hi, Roge.
257
00:09:25,632 --> 00:09:26,631
Hi, Tony.
Hi, Jeannie.
258
00:09:26,591 --> 00:09:27,592
Hey, listen.
259
00:09:27,552 --> 00:09:28,651
Do you two wanna laugh?
260
00:09:28,607 --> 00:09:30,108
Because you won't believe this.
261
00:09:30,048 --> 00:09:32,684
There's a rumor going around
the base that General Peterson
262
00:09:32,577 --> 00:09:36,512
picked you for his partner
for the big golf match Saturday.
263
00:09:36,352 --> 00:09:37,686
Ha. Is that wild?
264
00:09:37,633 --> 00:09:38,900
Oh, yeah.
265
00:09:38,849 --> 00:09:41,251
It's also true. Ah.
266
00:09:41,154 --> 00:09:42,421
You're not serious, are you?
267
00:09:42,370 --> 00:09:44,637
No, I'm not serious,
but General Peterson is.
268
00:09:44,546 --> 00:09:45,546
But you don't play golf.
269
00:09:45,506 --> 00:09:47,006
I know I don't.
That's what I tried
270
00:09:46,945 --> 00:09:49,114
to tell General Peterson,
but he wouldn't listen.
271
00:09:49,027 --> 00:09:50,360
It is my fault.
272
00:09:51,299 --> 00:09:52,565
I:
273
00:09:52,514 --> 00:09:53,915
And he:
274
00:09:53,859 --> 00:09:54,899
[CLICKING NOISE]
275
00:09:56,612 --> 00:09:58,913
Well... I guess
I'll be running along.
276
00:09:58,820 --> 00:10:00,721
Now, wait a minute.
I'm in trouble, Roger.
277
00:10:00,644 --> 00:10:02,245
I know. That's why
I'm running along.
278
00:10:02,181 --> 00:10:04,081
I don't wanna tangle
with General Peterson.
279
00:10:04,004 --> 00:10:06,573
He thinks of golf the way
most people think of mother.
280
00:10:06,469 --> 00:10:07,669
Roger, somebody needs to help me
281
00:10:07,621 --> 00:10:09,288
think of a way out of this.
282
00:10:09,221 --> 00:10:13,324
Well, you could have Jeannie
break General Peterson's arm.
283
00:10:13,158 --> 00:10:14,092
That's it.
284
00:10:14,055 --> 00:10:16,790
You want me to break
General Peterson's arm?
285
00:10:16,679 --> 00:10:18,012
No. No. My arm.
286
00:10:17,959 --> 00:10:20,027
You want me to break your arm?
287
00:10:19,943 --> 00:10:22,277
No, Jeannie. I don't want you
to break anybody's arm.
288
00:10:22,183 --> 00:10:24,285
But what's to stop me
from putting a sling on my arm
289
00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:26,067
and telling General Peterson
that I hurt it?
290
00:10:25,992 --> 00:10:27,393
Oh! ROGER: Brilliant.
291
00:10:27,336 --> 00:10:29,336
You can't play golf
with your arm in a sling.
292
00:10:31,529 --> 00:10:32,996
Thanks, Jeannie.
293
00:10:32,937 --> 00:10:34,637
Well, I better go tell
General Peterson
294
00:10:34,569 --> 00:10:35,769
that he's just gonna have to
295
00:10:35,721 --> 00:10:37,389
pick another partner
for Saturday.
296
00:10:37,321 --> 00:10:38,321
Well, good luck.
297
00:10:38,282 --> 00:10:39,442
Oh, yeah.
298
00:10:42,346 --> 00:10:43,914
Are you telling me
that Major Nelson
299
00:10:43,851 --> 00:10:45,385
has broken his arm?
300
00:10:45,323 --> 00:10:47,958
No, sir. His arm
is perfectly fine.
301
00:10:47,851 --> 00:10:49,084
Well, he has it in a sling.
302
00:10:49,035 --> 00:10:50,469
That's right. Hm.
303
00:10:50,411 --> 00:10:52,211
I was wondering
how Major Nelson was gonna
304
00:10:52,139 --> 00:10:54,475
get out of playing
in that golf match.
305
00:10:54,380 --> 00:10:55,501
Now we know.
306
00:10:59,149 --> 00:11:02,017
Major Nelson is in
Dr. Bellow's office.
307
00:11:01,901 --> 00:11:02,968
I want him.
308
00:11:02,926 --> 00:11:04,660
MAN [OVER INTERCOM]:
Yes, sir.
309
00:11:06,061 --> 00:11:07,628
Oh, major?
Yes?
310
00:11:07,565 --> 00:11:09,834
General Peterson would like to
see you in his office.
311
00:11:09,742 --> 00:11:10,908
Oh. Thank you
very much.
312
00:11:10,862 --> 00:11:11,996
Yes, sir.
313
00:11:11,951 --> 00:11:13,384
Yep.
314
00:11:13,326 --> 00:11:14,394
Oh, there you are.
315
00:11:14,351 --> 00:11:15,917
Listen, have you seen
Peterson yet?
316
00:11:15,854 --> 00:11:17,121
No.
317
00:11:17,071 --> 00:11:18,872
I just got the flash.
They're ready to pick
318
00:11:18,799 --> 00:11:20,667
the astronauts
for the Apollo test flight.
319
00:11:20,592 --> 00:11:21,993
What?
320
00:11:21,937 --> 00:11:24,771
Yeah, and I think they'd like
someone with two arms.
321
00:11:24,656 --> 00:11:27,391
You'll be able to spot
all the classic symptoms
322
00:11:27,280 --> 00:11:29,615
of the faker
immediately, general.
323
00:11:29,521 --> 00:11:31,989
When he comes in that door,
notice his expression.
324
00:11:31,889 --> 00:11:33,824
It'll be listless.
325
00:11:33,746 --> 00:11:35,580
And the way he moves,
326
00:11:35,506 --> 00:11:38,575
as though he's racked with pain.
327
00:11:38,451 --> 00:11:41,319
General Peterson.
You want to see me, sir?
328
00:11:46,836 --> 00:11:48,536
Aw, you should have seen
the expression
329
00:11:48,467 --> 00:11:49,935
on Dr. Bellows' face.
330
00:11:49,876 --> 00:11:51,809
How did you explain
the sling, master?
331
00:11:51,731 --> 00:11:53,499
Well, luckily, I didn't
tell Dr. Bellows
332
00:11:53,428 --> 00:11:54,729
I had had an accident.
333
00:11:54,677 --> 00:11:56,911
He told me I'd had an accident.
334
00:11:56,821 --> 00:11:59,956
I am pleased that everything
turned out so well, master.
335
00:11:59,829 --> 00:12:02,230
Oh, yeah,
everything's just great...
336
00:12:02,133 --> 00:12:03,634
except for one tiny detail.
337
00:12:03,573 --> 00:12:04,574
What is that?
338
00:12:04,534 --> 00:12:05,633
Oh, I'm in the same trouble
339
00:12:05,590 --> 00:12:07,791
I was when I walked out
this morning.
340
00:12:08,470 --> 00:12:09,971
General Peterson
still expects me
341
00:12:09,911 --> 00:12:11,831
to play in that game
on Saturday.
342
00:12:11,767 --> 00:12:13,047
[DOORBELL RINGS]
343
00:12:17,752 --> 00:12:20,253
Hi, Tony. Hi, Jeannie.
Ha-ha.
344
00:12:20,152 --> 00:12:21,152
Well, Merry Christmas
345
00:12:21,112 --> 00:12:22,913
from your friendly
golf instructor.
346
00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:24,140
Roger,
wha-what's all this?
347
00:12:24,088 --> 00:12:25,656
This is a solution
to your problems.
348
00:12:25,593 --> 00:12:28,461
I'm going to teach you
how to... play golf.
349
00:12:28,345 --> 00:12:30,546
You see, master,
your problem is solved.
350
00:12:30,457 --> 00:12:31,924
You really think
you can do it, Roge?
351
00:12:31,865 --> 00:12:33,966
Well, at least when you
get out there Saturday...
352
00:12:33,881 --> 00:12:37,084
you won't make a complete
fool out of yourself.
353
00:12:36,955 --> 00:12:38,755
Well, Roger, I certainly
appreciate this.
354
00:12:38,682 --> 00:12:40,851
Well, let's see
how you can putt, huh?
355
00:12:40,763 --> 00:12:42,730
Yeah.
356
00:12:42,651 --> 00:12:43,751
Just follow my instructions,
357
00:12:43,707 --> 00:12:46,147
and you won't have any problems.
All right.
358
00:12:47,163 --> 00:12:49,098
Just hold a club like this,
nice and relaxed.
359
00:12:49,020 --> 00:12:50,721
All right. All right. Okay?
360
00:12:50,653 --> 00:12:52,086
Now, bend over.
Bend over.
361
00:12:52,028 --> 00:12:54,029
Head over the ball.
Head over the ball.
362
00:12:53,948 --> 00:12:55,015
Feet apart.
Feet apart.
363
00:12:54,973 --> 00:12:56,740
Knees together.
Knees together.
364
00:12:56,669 --> 00:12:58,104
Now, just...
365
00:12:58,046 --> 00:12:59,712
relax the wrist.
Relax the wrist.
366
00:12:59,645 --> 00:13:02,381
Right there. Now, just
a short backswing.
367
00:13:02,270 --> 00:13:03,370
Short backswing.
368
00:13:03,326 --> 00:13:04,326
Follow through
369
00:13:04,286 --> 00:13:05,686
and hit the ball.
Right.
370
00:13:08,542 --> 00:13:10,644
Would you like me to move
the cup to the ball?
371
00:13:10,559 --> 00:13:12,159
Jeannie.
372
00:13:12,095 --> 00:13:13,896
Well... you only
missed it by a room.
373
00:13:13,823 --> 00:13:15,724
Naturally, it's gonna
take me a little time
374
00:13:15,648 --> 00:13:16,648
to get the hang of it.
375
00:13:16,608 --> 00:13:17,941
Yeah, naturally, naturally.
376
00:13:17,887 --> 00:13:19,522
How long do you think
it's gonna take
377
00:13:19,457 --> 00:13:20,823
before I'm ready for the match?
378
00:13:20,768 --> 00:13:22,169
If you practice hard every day?
379
00:13:22,113 --> 00:13:23,613
Yeah, if I practice
hard every day.
380
00:13:23,552 --> 00:13:25,420
About 1985.
381
00:13:29,442 --> 00:13:31,343
Golf clubs, golf shoes.
382
00:13:31,266 --> 00:13:32,566
Got my golf tees.
383
00:13:32,514 --> 00:13:33,748
Golf balls.
Golf balls!
384
00:13:33,699 --> 00:13:34,799
Here they are, master.
385
00:13:34,755 --> 00:13:37,056
Oh. Thank you,
Jeannie.
386
00:13:36,963 --> 00:13:38,330
What are you all dressed up for?
387
00:13:38,275 --> 00:13:40,543
I'm going to
the tournament with you.
388
00:13:40,451 --> 00:13:41,618
Oh. Oh.
389
00:13:41,571 --> 00:13:43,639
Fine. Fine.
390
00:13:43,556 --> 00:13:44,789
You do not mind?
391
00:13:44,740 --> 00:13:46,341
No, of course not.
392
00:13:46,276 --> 00:13:47,310
Uh, why should I mind?
393
00:13:47,269 --> 00:13:48,268
You could always, uh...
394
00:13:48,228 --> 00:13:49,562
You could always caddy for me.
395
00:13:49,509 --> 00:13:52,912
Oh, I would be happy to.
Whatever that is.
396
00:13:52,774 --> 00:13:54,641
Oh, well, it's very simple.
397
00:13:54,565 --> 00:13:56,700
Uh, you take a tee
like this you see, and you...
398
00:13:56,614 --> 00:13:58,615
Oh, would you mind getting
that for me, please?
399
00:13:58,534 --> 00:13:59,734
Oh, certainly, master.
400
00:14:04,615 --> 00:14:06,249
I'm sorry about this, Jeannie,
401
00:14:06,183 --> 00:14:08,984
but you're gonna have to stay
in there until the game's over.
402
00:14:08,871 --> 00:14:10,639
But you need me, master.
403
00:14:10,567 --> 00:14:12,035
Yeah. Yeah, I know I do.
404
00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:13,609
But the force of genies
405
00:14:13,544 --> 00:14:14,644
aren't allowed.
406
00:14:17,896 --> 00:14:19,063
Oh.
407
00:14:23,690 --> 00:14:25,491
Hey, I think your partner's
got cold feet
408
00:14:25,418 --> 00:14:26,884
and isn't gonna show up.
409
00:14:26,825 --> 00:14:28,260
Oh, he'll be along.
410
00:14:28,203 --> 00:14:30,137
He doesn't know
what sharks you two are.
411
00:14:30,059 --> 00:14:33,128
Well, we'll try and give him
a good game, general.
412
00:14:33,003 --> 00:14:34,002
Sorry I'm late, sir.
413
00:14:33,963 --> 00:14:35,064
Oh, this is Major Nelson.
414
00:14:35,020 --> 00:14:36,253
Admiral Tugwell.
415
00:14:36,203 --> 00:14:38,003
Nice knowing you, major.
Pleasure, sir.
416
00:14:37,931 --> 00:14:39,332
Commander Davis. How do you do?
417
00:14:39,275 --> 00:14:41,076
What do you...
What's your game?
418
00:14:41,004 --> 00:14:42,137
What do you shoot?
419
00:14:42,092 --> 00:14:43,860
Well, quail mostly.
420
00:14:43,788 --> 00:14:45,989
PETERSON: He's too smart
to give anything away.
421
00:14:45,900 --> 00:14:48,301
You'll see when you
put your money up.
422
00:14:48,204 --> 00:14:50,724
Pete, would you like to
double last year's stakes?
423
00:14:51,374 --> 00:14:52,641
Well, I don't know.
424
00:14:52,590 --> 00:14:54,724
You know, Major Nelson's
not much of a player.
425
00:14:54,638 --> 00:14:55,638
He's, uh...
426
00:14:55,598 --> 00:14:56,598
Well, he's kind of
427
00:14:56,558 --> 00:14:59,260
a last-minute
replacement,
428
00:14:59,151 --> 00:15:00,384
but, uh, still...
429
00:15:00,334 --> 00:15:02,702
I'll double the stakes.
430
00:15:02,606 --> 00:15:03,706
Done.
431
00:15:03,662 --> 00:15:04,730
Done?
432
00:15:04,688 --> 00:15:07,356
Sir, could I speak to you
a moment privately?
433
00:15:07,248 --> 00:15:10,517
Major, no secret strategy
meetings, please.
434
00:15:10,384 --> 00:15:11,851
I'll talk to you later.
435
00:15:11,792 --> 00:15:12,892
Yeah, I'm sure you will.
436
00:15:12,849 --> 00:15:15,209
Well, come on.
Let's get some practice.
437
00:15:30,227 --> 00:15:31,227
Hey, nice drive.
438
00:15:31,187 --> 00:15:32,220
Good one, commander.
439
00:15:32,179 --> 00:15:33,579
Very good, sir.
440
00:15:34,163 --> 00:15:36,297
You think you can
follow that, general?
441
00:15:36,211 --> 00:15:37,211
Yeah.
442
00:15:42,484 --> 00:15:44,524
Good luck, sir.
443
00:15:44,852 --> 00:15:46,486
Oh, thank you, major.
444
00:15:49,813 --> 00:15:50,814
Very good, sir.
445
00:15:50,774 --> 00:15:52,374
Very good.
446
00:15:52,310 --> 00:15:54,244
[CHUCKLES]
447
00:15:54,166 --> 00:15:56,686
You didn't come out here
for nothing, did you?
448
00:15:58,454 --> 00:16:00,695
Well, anchors aweigh.
449
00:16:07,193 --> 00:16:09,434
Nice shot, Roy.
Oh, yeah. Very nice.
450
00:16:11,480 --> 00:16:14,400
Oh, me. TUGWELL:
All right, major.
451
00:16:25,755 --> 00:16:26,788
Oh.
452
00:16:32,732 --> 00:16:33,832
Ahem.
453
00:16:39,388 --> 00:16:40,548
Tricky little devil. Oh, yes.
454
00:16:41,628 --> 00:16:43,764
You're not going to use
an iron, are you, major?
455
00:16:43,678 --> 00:16:44,978
What, sir?
456
00:16:44,926 --> 00:16:46,527
Here, use my driver.
457
00:16:46,462 --> 00:16:47,628
Oh. Thank you.
458
00:16:54,335 --> 00:16:55,435
I can't even see it.
459
00:16:55,391 --> 00:16:57,425
The ball is still on the tee.
460
00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:01,960
Ahem.
461
00:17:03,168 --> 00:17:05,102
Sir, I'd I... I'd like
to explain. Um...
462
00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:06,191
You don't have to explain.
463
00:17:06,144 --> 00:17:07,745
That was brilliant.
464
00:17:07,681 --> 00:17:08,681
Brilliant?
465
00:17:08,641 --> 00:17:09,874
Why didn't I think of that?
466
00:17:09,825 --> 00:17:11,993
You just keep on pretending
that you're a dub.
467
00:17:11,905 --> 00:17:14,139
Then at the last minute
you'll come through,
468
00:17:14,049 --> 00:17:15,783
and we'll wallop them.
469
00:17:17,121 --> 00:17:18,801
[LAUGHS] Yes.
470
00:17:40,037 --> 00:17:41,037
Don't overdo it.
471
00:17:40,997 --> 00:17:42,831
These guys are pretty smart.
472
00:17:42,757 --> 00:17:44,998
They know that no one
could be that bad.
473
00:17:49,478 --> 00:17:50,478
We'll concede that, major.
474
00:17:50,438 --> 00:17:53,040
We do want to finish
the 18 holes before dark.
475
00:17:54,598 --> 00:17:55,899
That's all right, major.
476
00:17:55,847 --> 00:17:58,287
You're only 16 strokes behind.
477
00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:01,834
Ahem.
478
00:18:01,768 --> 00:18:04,302
Don't you think you
ought to start now, Tony?
479
00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:05,235
I have started, sir.
480
00:18:05,193 --> 00:18:06,959
What you're seeing is my game.
481
00:18:06,888 --> 00:18:07,889
All right.
482
00:18:07,849 --> 00:18:09,583
But don't keep it up too long.
483
00:18:15,178 --> 00:18:16,344
Ahem.
484
00:18:19,626 --> 00:18:21,494
Roger, what are you doing here?
485
00:18:21,419 --> 00:18:24,555
Well, I thought I'd stop by
and see how my pupil's doing.
486
00:18:24,428 --> 00:18:25,461
My score is 29.
487
00:18:25,419 --> 00:18:27,720
Oh, you're kidding.
On the third hole.
488
00:18:29,452 --> 00:18:31,152
Are you keeping your eye
on the ball?
489
00:18:31,083 --> 00:18:33,285
I'm keeping my eye on a jet
that'll take me to Brazil.
490
00:18:33,196 --> 00:18:35,831
Roger, I'm getting slaughtered.
491
00:18:35,725 --> 00:18:37,259
I don't mind so much for myself.
492
00:18:37,197 --> 00:18:39,398
But if we lose, it's
gonna kill General Peterson.
493
00:18:39,309 --> 00:18:41,010
Yeah, and if it kills
General Peterson,
494
00:18:40,942 --> 00:18:42,075
it's going to kill you.
495
00:18:42,029 --> 00:18:43,463
Why isn't Jeannie helping?
496
00:18:43,406 --> 00:18:44,740
Well, uh...
497
00:18:44,686 --> 00:18:45,986
you know how she is.
498
00:18:45,934 --> 00:18:47,735
Yeah, she's great.
She's here, isn't she?
499
00:18:47,663 --> 00:18:49,331
Roge, I don't want to
hold up the game.
500
00:18:49,264 --> 00:18:50,329
Wait a minute.
501
00:18:50,286 --> 00:18:51,988
Why don't you have her help you?
502
00:18:51,920 --> 00:18:53,620
Because I don't think
General Peterson
503
00:18:53,551 --> 00:18:54,851
would want to win that way.
504
00:18:58,257 --> 00:18:59,523
Jeannie!
505
00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:00,739
Jeannie!
506
00:19:05,170 --> 00:19:06,603
Oh, thank you, Major Healey.
507
00:19:06,545 --> 00:19:08,246
Oh, Jeannie, your master's
in trouble.
508
00:19:08,178 --> 00:19:09,338
You gotta...
509
00:19:11,666 --> 00:19:12,933
Boy... that's
one golf match
510
00:19:12,882 --> 00:19:15,784
I would have loved to have seen.
511
00:19:22,835 --> 00:19:25,905
Would you like to pick it up
and take the penalty?
512
00:19:25,780 --> 00:19:27,900
No, no, no.
It's fine.
513
00:19:42,806 --> 00:19:44,174
General, nothing short
of a miracle
514
00:19:44,119 --> 00:19:45,653
is gonna make you
win this match.
515
00:19:45,591 --> 00:19:46,990
You never know when a miracle
516
00:19:46,934 --> 00:19:48,735
is gonna happen, do you?
517
00:20:01,208 --> 00:20:03,142
Any time, major.
518
00:20:03,064 --> 00:20:04,064
Yes, sir.
Sorry, sir.
519
00:20:15,675 --> 00:20:17,442
I didn't even see you
hit the ball, major,
520
00:20:17,371 --> 00:20:19,331
but it was a beautiful drive.
521
00:20:20,059 --> 00:20:21,726
I'm afraid that's
your ball, major.
522
00:20:21,659 --> 00:20:23,093
Tough luck.
523
00:20:23,035 --> 00:20:25,637
Snead used a slice
on a lie like this.
524
00:20:26,557 --> 00:20:28,658
Slice.
Yes, a slice.
525
00:20:34,142 --> 00:20:36,476
You're, uh, going
to use a putter?
526
00:20:36,381 --> 00:20:37,615
Yes, I, uh,
527
00:20:37,566 --> 00:20:39,600
always use a putter
on a lie like this.
528
00:20:39,518 --> 00:20:41,119
Pardon me, gentlemen.
529
00:20:41,055 --> 00:20:42,335
[CLEARS THROAT]
530
00:20:53,952 --> 00:20:55,152
Fantastic.
531
00:20:55,104 --> 00:20:56,539
[CLEARS THROAT]
532
00:20:56,481 --> 00:20:57,614
Yes, um...
533
00:20:57,569 --> 00:20:59,170
Yes, you might say that, sir.
534
00:21:21,316 --> 00:21:24,585
[?]
535
00:21:43,207 --> 00:21:45,074
PETERSON: Wow! What
do you think of that?
536
00:21:44,999 --> 00:21:46,500
TUGWELL:
Another 40-footer.
537
00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:48,741
[CHUCKLES]
538
00:21:48,648 --> 00:21:50,849
I've been playing golf
for nearly 30 years,
539
00:21:50,760 --> 00:21:52,461
and I've never
seen anything like it.
540
00:21:52,392 --> 00:21:54,393
You know what your score
is like, major?
541
00:21:54,313 --> 00:21:55,914
No, sir.
542
00:21:55,849 --> 00:21:59,184
Well, you've got four eagles,
four double eagles,
543
00:21:59,049 --> 00:22:01,518
seven holes in one.
544
00:22:01,418 --> 00:22:04,520
Your total score is 54.
545
00:22:04,394 --> 00:22:05,661
That's good, huh?
546
00:22:05,611 --> 00:22:08,913
Well, Sam Snead won
a tournament with a 59.
547
00:22:08,779 --> 00:22:10,380
You were five under him.
548
00:22:11,467 --> 00:22:13,235
Major, it certainly
has been a privilege
549
00:22:13,164 --> 00:22:15,398
to play golf with you.
Yes, sir.
550
00:22:15,308 --> 00:22:17,609
I'll mail you a check, Pete. Ha.
551
00:22:17,516 --> 00:22:18,482
Uh, no.
No, sir.
552
00:22:18,444 --> 00:22:20,012
I couldn't allow you to do that.
553
00:22:19,948 --> 00:22:20,748
Why, he's right.
554
00:22:20,717 --> 00:22:22,350
The kind of golf
we were privileged
555
00:22:22,284 --> 00:22:23,685
to be a part of today
556
00:22:23,629 --> 00:22:25,997
shouldn't be tainted
with commercialism.
557
00:22:25,901 --> 00:22:28,135
Well, thank you, general.
558
00:22:28,045 --> 00:22:30,286
You broke every record
in the book.
559
00:22:33,006 --> 00:22:34,574
Yes, sir, I...
I know.
560
00:22:34,511 --> 00:22:36,645
And a few that
weren't in the book.
561
00:22:36,559 --> 00:22:38,999
Now, shall we go?
562
00:22:40,591 --> 00:22:41,871
[CHUCKLING]
563
00:22:45,104 --> 00:22:46,371
They said it was the greatest
564
00:22:46,320 --> 00:22:47,587
golf game they've ever seen.
565
00:22:47,536 --> 00:22:48,803
Fifty-four.
I should say so.
566
00:22:48,753 --> 00:22:50,120
I knew I was
a good golf teacher,
567
00:22:50,065 --> 00:22:51,131
but that's ridiculous.
568
00:22:51,088 --> 00:22:52,089
If you like, master,
569
00:22:52,049 --> 00:22:53,249
I can cut that score in half.
570
00:22:53,201 --> 00:22:54,267
No, thanks, Jeannie.
571
00:22:54,225 --> 00:22:55,526
Frankly, I don't care if I ever
572
00:22:55,473 --> 00:22:56,940
see another golf club again.
573
00:22:56,882 --> 00:22:57,948
Thanks.
574
00:22:57,905 --> 00:23:00,541
Hi. Dr. Bellows. Goodbye.
575
00:23:00,434 --> 00:23:02,201
Oh, Major Healey.
576
00:23:02,130 --> 00:23:03,464
Major Nelson.
577
00:23:03,411 --> 00:23:05,345
I just dropped by
to congratulate you
578
00:23:05,267 --> 00:23:06,267
on your victory.
579
00:23:06,227 --> 00:23:07,560
Oh, thank you, sir.
580
00:23:07,506 --> 00:23:10,475
I'm sorry I wasn't
able to, uh, watch the game.
581
00:23:10,355 --> 00:23:11,522
Yeah. So...
So was I.
582
00:23:11,475 --> 00:23:13,342
But however, I'll watch
the next one.
583
00:23:13,267 --> 00:23:14,635
Next one?
584
00:23:14,580 --> 00:23:15,680
I don't think that Tony's
585
00:23:15,636 --> 00:23:16,736
going to be playing golf
586
00:23:16,692 --> 00:23:17,792
anymore, sir.
587
00:23:17,748 --> 00:23:19,081
Oh, yes, he is.
588
00:23:19,028 --> 00:23:20,696
General Peterson
has just entered you
589
00:23:20,629 --> 00:23:22,797
in the National Open.
590
00:23:22,709 --> 00:23:25,143
And I'll be there
to watch your every move.
591
00:23:25,045 --> 00:23:27,280
Well, gentlemen,
if you'll just excuse me.
592
00:23:28,214 --> 00:23:29,247
Yeah, uh...
593
00:23:30,390 --> 00:23:32,157
[GOLF BALLS
BOUNCING]
594
00:23:37,400 --> 00:23:38,666
Oh.
595
00:24:38,876 --> 00:24:42,612
[?]
596
00:24:42,662 --> 00:24:47,212
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