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1
00:00:01,369 --> 00:00:02,512
All right everyone, as you know,
2
00:00:02,536 --> 00:00:05,539
the NYPD intends to shutter
one precinct in Brooklyn.
3
00:00:05,573 --> 00:00:07,308
I'll be evaluating the Nine-Nine
4
00:00:07,341 --> 00:00:10,344
and sending my findings
to the Deputy Commissioner.
5
00:00:10,378 --> 00:00:12,046
Are there any questions?
6
00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:14,548
Yeah, Veronica, are you
sure you're the best person
7
00:00:14,582 --> 00:00:17,818
for that job, given
our, um, you know...
8
00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:19,820
- Sexual past.
- Thank you, Detective Boyle.
9
00:00:19,853 --> 00:00:21,555
Sergeant Jeffords,
don't be silly.
10
00:00:21,589 --> 00:00:24,258
I won't let the fact that you
and I have a history together
11
00:00:24,292 --> 00:00:25,535
affect the decision
I have to make
12
00:00:25,559 --> 00:00:27,461
in any way whatsoever.
13
00:00:27,495 --> 00:00:28,738
Well that's certainly
good to hear.
14
00:00:28,762 --> 00:00:32,266
I mean, sure, it took me years
of intense therapy to get over
15
00:00:32,300 --> 00:00:34,268
and it's given me
a fear of intimacy
16
00:00:34,302 --> 00:00:37,538
that has affected
every subsequent relationship,
17
00:00:37,571 --> 00:00:41,409
but there's no reason
I can't remain unbiased.
18
00:00:41,442 --> 00:00:42,852
The way you just said that
makes it seem
19
00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:44,345
like you actually are biased.
20
00:00:44,378 --> 00:00:48,282
I have no idea what you mean.
21
00:00:48,316 --> 00:00:51,152
That is all.
22
00:00:51,185 --> 00:00:52,586
Okay, the plan is clear.
23
00:00:52,620 --> 00:00:55,156
Sarge, you divorce Sharon,
abandon your children,
24
00:00:55,189 --> 00:00:56,266
get back together
with that monster.
25
00:00:56,290 --> 00:00:58,326
The precinct is saved.
I'm not leaving my family.
26
00:00:58,359 --> 00:00:59,879
Come on!
You didn't even consider it!
27
00:01:02,696 --> 00:01:10,070
♪
28
00:01:19,913 --> 00:01:23,417
Why... won't... you print?
29
00:01:23,451 --> 00:01:24,685
Ah, screw this.
30
00:01:24,718 --> 00:01:26,554
No, no, no, no! Not again!
31
00:01:26,587 --> 00:01:28,189
What is going on here?
32
00:01:28,222 --> 00:01:30,158
Stupid printer won't print out
my stupid resume
33
00:01:30,191 --> 00:01:32,860
which means I can't send it
to any decent stupid precincts
34
00:01:32,893 --> 00:01:34,462
when this stupid place
shuts down.
35
00:01:34,495 --> 00:01:35,263
That's not gonna happen.
36
00:01:35,296 --> 00:01:36,897
Why are you being
such a Gloomy Gus?
37
00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:38,108
- I'm a Realistic Randy.
- Didn't go with Rosa, huh?
38
00:01:38,132 --> 00:01:40,344
Ugh, I'm gonna have to meet
a whole new group of people.
39
00:01:40,368 --> 00:01:41,902
I hate people.
40
00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:43,637
Life sucks.
Nothing good ever happens.
41
00:01:43,671 --> 00:01:45,339
That's not true. Come on!
42
00:01:45,373 --> 00:01:46,907
What does Captain Holt
always tell us?
43
00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:49,343
Be a good cop, do your job,
things'll work out.
44
00:01:49,377 --> 00:01:51,212
Yep, just this morning,
I found this old bag
45
00:01:51,245 --> 00:01:53,547
on the street
and it has a cupcake inside.
46
00:01:53,581 --> 00:01:55,916
See?
Scully found a garbage cake.
47
00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:58,352
And I found us... a dream case.
48
00:01:58,386 --> 00:02:00,488
Involving one
Ms. Cassie Sinclair.
49
00:02:00,521 --> 00:02:01,731
- From "Serve & Protect"?
- Yeah.
50
00:02:01,755 --> 00:02:03,557
- That is my favorite cop show.
- Yeah.
51
00:02:03,591 --> 00:02:05,593
Apparently her laptop was stolen
and it had...
52
00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:07,261
"sensitive materials" on it.
53
00:02:07,295 --> 00:02:08,538
You know what that's code for...
54
00:02:08,562 --> 00:02:09,897
- Bank account numbers.
- Nudies!
55
00:02:09,930 --> 00:02:11,208
One or the other...
I'm not a pervert.
56
00:02:11,232 --> 00:02:12,300
The point is, Gloomy Gus,
57
00:02:12,333 --> 00:02:14,402
not everything is terrible.
Maybe you're right.
58
00:02:14,435 --> 00:02:15,512
Maybe life isn't
a miserable, unending,
59
00:02:15,536 --> 00:02:17,571
maggot-filled pile of crap.
Yeah, there you go.
60
00:02:17,605 --> 00:02:19,516
Let's go find some nudies
or bank account numbers...
61
00:02:19,540 --> 00:02:20,508
Both would be helpful.
62
00:02:20,541 --> 00:02:23,277
Guys, we gotta do something
about Veronica.
63
00:02:23,311 --> 00:02:24,478
She's really out to get us.
64
00:02:24,512 --> 00:02:26,690
We just need to find out
what horrible thing Terry did
65
00:02:26,714 --> 00:02:29,417
to this woman so he can
apologize and make it right.
66
00:02:29,450 --> 00:02:31,752
I've been wracking my brain.
I can't think of anything.
67
00:02:31,785 --> 00:02:34,222
- Did you cheat on her?
- No! I would never do that.
68
00:02:34,255 --> 00:02:35,399
Did you date one of her friends
69
00:02:35,423 --> 00:02:36,666
right after you broke up? Uhuh.
70
00:02:36,690 --> 00:02:39,493
I cut off ties with
all our mutual friends.
71
00:02:39,527 --> 00:02:42,263
Even Tommy. Terry loved Tommy!
72
00:02:42,296 --> 00:02:43,597
Tommy turned Terry on to tennis.
73
00:02:43,631 --> 00:02:44,741
Well, you did something to her.
74
00:02:44,765 --> 00:02:47,601
We'll just have to get Veronica
to tell us what it was.
75
00:02:47,635 --> 00:02:48,969
It's time for
a little girl talk.
76
00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:50,514
You really think
you can handle girl talk?
77
00:02:50,538 --> 00:02:52,506
Relax. I got this.
78
00:02:52,540 --> 00:02:56,444
Hey Veronica.
It's time for some girl talk.
79
00:02:58,312 --> 00:02:59,613
Let me see that bra!
80
00:02:59,647 --> 00:03:01,282
Excuse me?
81
00:03:01,315 --> 00:03:03,317
Didn't work. What else we got?
82
00:03:03,351 --> 00:03:06,720
Hey! Huh?
83
00:03:06,754 --> 00:03:09,623
- Whoa, this is dope.
- Dope it right.
84
00:03:09,657 --> 00:03:11,525
Welcome to the dream factory.
Hey, man.
85
00:03:11,559 --> 00:03:13,227
We gotta be cool, all right?
86
00:03:13,261 --> 00:03:15,305
I know you have some fantasy
about being a movie star.
87
00:03:15,329 --> 00:03:16,706
I don't fantasize
about being a movie star.
88
00:03:16,730 --> 00:03:18,566
I fantasize about meeting one.
89
00:03:18,599 --> 00:03:20,744
And being invited to a party
at George Clooney's villa,
90
00:03:20,768 --> 00:03:24,438
where he pranks me and then
we prank Matt Damon together
91
00:03:24,472 --> 00:03:26,474
and then Damon's like
"Peralta, you got the goods.
92
00:03:26,507 --> 00:03:27,817
You're gonna be the star
of my next movie."
93
00:03:27,841 --> 00:03:29,443
Wait, maybe I do
want to be a movie star.
94
00:03:29,477 --> 00:03:30,444
- Heads up. Here she comes.
- Okay.
95
00:03:30,478 --> 00:03:32,280
- Hey.
- Ms. Sinclair.
96
00:03:32,313 --> 00:03:33,657
I'm Detective Diaz.
This is Detective Peralta.
97
00:03:33,681 --> 00:03:35,649
Oh, I like the way
you wear your badge.
98
00:03:35,683 --> 00:03:37,518
- Can I steal that?
- Absolutely.
99
00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:39,763
Oh, hey, here's another little
nugget for you, if you'd like.
100
00:03:39,787 --> 00:03:42,456
Thanks
for coming down to the precinct.
101
00:03:42,490 --> 00:03:45,726
Oh, and one more thing...
I'm a cop.
102
00:03:47,428 --> 00:03:48,638
Wouldn't the person
already know that
103
00:03:48,662 --> 00:03:51,031
if they were at the precinct?
No, it works.
104
00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:53,667
So you had your laptop stolen?
Yeah, last night.
105
00:03:53,701 --> 00:03:56,337
Someone broke into my trailer,
jimmied the lock.
106
00:03:56,370 --> 00:03:58,047
I found out this morning
from the second A.D.
107
00:03:58,071 --> 00:03:59,740
Ah, A.D., Announcing Department.
108
00:03:59,773 --> 00:04:01,385
- Assistant Director.
- Oh, that's even better.
109
00:04:01,409 --> 00:04:03,411
Hey, hi, Cassie, who's this?
110
00:04:03,444 --> 00:04:05,613
Well, this is Peralta
and Diaz, from the NYPD.
111
00:04:05,646 --> 00:04:07,481
They're here about the laptop.
Oh.
112
00:04:07,515 --> 00:04:09,750
I didn't think you were gonna
involve the cops in this,
113
00:04:09,783 --> 00:04:11,852
but well, that's okay,
here they are.
114
00:04:11,885 --> 00:04:14,555
I'm Gary Lurmax.
I'm the Executive Producer.
115
00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:16,466
Your name comes up at the end
of every episode
116
00:04:16,490 --> 00:04:18,826
with that parrot that says:
"Talk to my lawyer!"
117
00:04:18,859 --> 00:04:21,695
Well, that's actually Walter,
my pet African grey.
118
00:04:21,729 --> 00:04:23,764
Ah, so cool.
Anyways, we're real cops.
119
00:04:23,797 --> 00:04:25,433
Should we look
at the crime scene?
120
00:04:25,466 --> 00:04:27,801
Captain, can we talk?
121
00:04:27,835 --> 00:04:30,638
Boyle, you know my feelings
about bathroom conversations.
122
00:04:30,671 --> 00:04:32,473
Steadfastly against.
123
00:04:32,506 --> 00:04:34,575
I know; I just don't want
Veronica to overhear.
124
00:04:34,608 --> 00:04:35,785
I know what she's going through.
125
00:04:35,809 --> 00:04:37,578
I've been broken up with
six times.
126
00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:38,712
Really? Only six?
127
00:04:38,746 --> 00:04:40,514
Yep. Oh wait.
128
00:04:40,548 --> 00:04:42,091
Does it count
if they end the relationship
129
00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:43,484
but still want to be friends?
130
00:04:43,517 --> 00:04:45,453
- Yes.
- Oh, then 210.
131
00:04:45,486 --> 00:04:46,320
My point is, I'm worried
132
00:04:46,354 --> 00:04:48,622
that Veronica
will never forgive Terry.
133
00:04:48,656 --> 00:04:50,791
Is there anyone above her
that you can appeal to?
134
00:04:50,824 --> 00:04:52,760
She reports
to Deputy Commissioner Grayson.
135
00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:54,404
I've already tried
to set up a meeting with him.
136
00:04:54,428 --> 00:04:56,530
He's on vacation
with his family in the Poconos.
137
00:04:56,564 --> 00:04:58,899
Okay, so maybe we find out
where he's staying
138
00:04:58,932 --> 00:05:01,802
and just happen to run into him
and accidental strike up
139
00:05:01,835 --> 00:05:03,604
a little convo
about the Nine-Nine.
140
00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:04,605
That seems rather underhanded.
141
00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:06,350
Desperate times call for
Desperate Housewives.
142
00:05:06,374 --> 00:05:07,651
- What?
- Measures. I said measures.
143
00:05:07,675 --> 00:05:09,577
Frankly, sir,
I know it's not protocol,
144
00:05:09,610 --> 00:05:11,512
but we don't have
any other option.
145
00:05:11,545 --> 00:05:14,382
Yes. Good point.
It's not protocol.
146
00:05:14,415 --> 00:05:15,383
But it just might work.
147
00:05:15,416 --> 00:05:17,751
You know, Boyle,
you're a bad influence on me.
148
00:05:17,785 --> 00:05:20,554
I've never been
a bad influence on anyone!
149
00:05:20,588 --> 00:05:22,423
Should I bring
my leather jacket?
150
00:05:22,456 --> 00:05:24,658
It's ankle-length and fitted.
151
00:05:24,692 --> 00:05:27,428
I won't bring it; It's too nice.
152
00:05:27,461 --> 00:05:29,363
Well, I always keep my laptop
in this bag,
153
00:05:29,397 --> 00:05:30,664
but this morning, it was gone.
154
00:05:30,698 --> 00:05:33,434
Nine times out of ten, in a
case like this, it's a stalker.
155
00:05:33,467 --> 00:05:34,944
Whoever jimmied the lock didn't
know what they were doing.
156
00:05:34,968 --> 00:05:35,903
I concur.
157
00:05:35,936 --> 00:05:40,774
This was a real hack job.
Hi, Mark Devereaux.
158
00:05:40,808 --> 00:05:42,676
He plays Detective
Cole Tracker on the show.
159
00:05:42,710 --> 00:05:44,745
Yeah, he does.
And if I know Cole Tracker,
160
00:05:44,778 --> 00:05:46,614
the next thing
you're going to say is...
161
00:05:46,647 --> 00:05:48,416
So what's it gonna be:
162
00:05:48,449 --> 00:05:50,451
Rock, paper, scissors...
163
00:05:50,484 --> 00:05:51,652
or gun?
164
00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:53,887
You watch the show. I like that.
165
00:05:53,921 --> 00:05:56,590
So get me up to speed.
166
00:05:56,624 --> 00:05:57,867
Who's been in here
since the incident?
167
00:05:57,891 --> 00:05:59,460
- What's he doing?
- Ohh.
168
00:05:59,493 --> 00:06:00,904
I think he must be one
of those actors who has to
169
00:06:00,928 --> 00:06:02,105
stay in character all the time.
170
00:06:02,129 --> 00:06:04,432
I heard Dustin Hoffman did this
on the set of "Tootsie"
171
00:06:04,465 --> 00:06:05,709
- and everyone hated it.
- On, no.
172
00:06:05,733 --> 00:06:07,167
He just thinks he's a detective
173
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,503
because he's been playing one
for 15 years.
174
00:06:09,537 --> 00:06:11,639
- I can hear you.
- Ah, look at that time.
175
00:06:11,672 --> 00:06:14,808
They need you on set, Cassie.
I'll walk you over.
176
00:06:14,842 --> 00:06:18,479
Ooh, has anyone noticed
this crumb?
177
00:06:18,512 --> 00:06:20,614
Might wanna bag that.
Send it to the boys at the lab.
178
00:06:20,648 --> 00:06:21,782
Well, what have we here?
179
00:06:21,815 --> 00:06:23,751
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Don't touch that.
180
00:06:23,784 --> 00:06:24,752
Isn't this the case
the laptop was in?
181
00:06:24,785 --> 00:06:27,621
Yes, but in real life,
when we handle evidence,
182
00:06:27,655 --> 00:06:28,689
we gotta wear gloves.
183
00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:30,190
I never wear gloves on the show.
184
00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:32,693
Fans love to see my fingers.
185
00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:35,496
Almost as much as they love
seeing my feet.
186
00:06:35,529 --> 00:06:36,564
Google it.
187
00:06:36,597 --> 00:06:37,731
- Nah.
- Nah.
188
00:06:37,765 --> 00:06:39,833
Check it out.
Devereaux gave me his card
189
00:06:39,867 --> 00:06:41,978
and said, "Call me if you can
think of anything else."
190
00:06:42,002 --> 00:06:43,504
Just like on the show!
191
00:06:43,537 --> 00:06:44,972
Does he know
we're the real cops?
192
00:06:45,005 --> 00:06:47,641
- I don't think so.
- Hey, guys.
193
00:06:47,675 --> 00:06:50,444
You know, you two have
a really compelling dynamic.
194
00:06:50,478 --> 00:06:52,746
Would you ever consider being
Consulting Producers
195
00:06:52,780 --> 00:06:53,857
- for the show?
- Absolutely!
196
00:06:53,881 --> 00:06:55,949
What does that mean?
Well, we pay you to come in
197
00:06:55,983 --> 00:06:57,751
in your off hours,
talk to the writers,
198
00:06:57,785 --> 00:06:58,919
tell them your stories,
199
00:06:58,952 --> 00:07:00,588
lend the show
a little authenticity.
200
00:07:00,621 --> 00:07:02,198
Wow, I can't believe I've been
talking to people for free
201
00:07:02,222 --> 00:07:03,524
all these years like an idiot!
202
00:07:03,557 --> 00:07:04,801
Great.
I'll run it by the studio.
203
00:07:04,825 --> 00:07:06,794
He's gonna run it
by the studio, Rosa.
204
00:07:06,827 --> 00:07:08,705
I told you, if we're good cops,
you do your job,
205
00:07:08,729 --> 00:07:09,806
things will work out
and they do.
206
00:07:09,830 --> 00:07:11,532
I don't know, man.
Something's weird.
207
00:07:11,565 --> 00:07:13,677
I think the job offer is bogus.
He's trying to buy us off.
208
00:07:13,701 --> 00:07:15,779
Look, I don't know about you,
but I can't be bought off.
209
00:07:15,803 --> 00:07:17,981
And it's gonna take a hell of
a lot more than some job offer
210
00:07:18,005 --> 00:07:20,207
to make me compromise
the integrity of the badge.
211
00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:22,610
Hey, Jake, catering send over
some chicken fingers.
212
00:07:22,643 --> 00:07:23,677
Oh!
213
00:07:26,714 --> 00:07:27,948
What is wrong with you?
214
00:07:27,981 --> 00:07:29,926
We're working a case we'll
definitely gonna solve,
215
00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:31,127
we're hanging out
with cool people,
216
00:07:31,151 --> 00:07:33,020
Don't ruin this with
all your Rosa-ness.
217
00:07:33,053 --> 00:07:34,054
Think about it.
218
00:07:34,087 --> 00:07:35,264
That producer guy
didn't want us here at all.
219
00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:37,525
And then after watching us work
for, like, two seconds,
220
00:07:37,558 --> 00:07:39,827
he offers us a job?
It doesn't make sense.
221
00:07:39,860 --> 00:07:42,162
That's just how
show biz works, you rube!
222
00:07:42,195 --> 00:07:43,731
Listen to yourself.
223
00:07:43,764 --> 00:07:44,808
You're letting all of this
cloud your judgment.
224
00:07:44,832 --> 00:07:46,109
I love clouds; They keep
the sun away on hot days.
225
00:07:46,133 --> 00:07:47,711
He doesn't want us
to solve this crime,
226
00:07:47,735 --> 00:07:49,737
so he's buying us off.
It's shady.
227
00:07:49,770 --> 00:07:51,715
I love the shade; It keeps
the sun away on hot days.
228
00:07:51,739 --> 00:07:52,906
Besides, he's a rich guy...
229
00:07:52,940 --> 00:07:54,183
What's his motive
for stealing a laptop?
230
00:07:54,207 --> 00:07:57,244
Leverage. He and Cassie have
been fighting over her contract.
231
00:07:57,277 --> 00:07:59,179
It's been all over the news.
The trades.
232
00:07:59,212 --> 00:08:00,848
They call them
"the trades" here.
233
00:08:00,881 --> 00:08:03,751
We read those in our trailers
after we wrap
234
00:08:03,784 --> 00:08:05,719
and before we go home.
235
00:08:05,753 --> 00:08:07,921
Fun fact: Stars use the word
"home" too.
236
00:08:07,955 --> 00:08:10,057
They're just like us.
That job offer wasn't real.
237
00:08:10,090 --> 00:08:13,160
None of this is real.
Yes, it is!
238
00:08:13,193 --> 00:08:14,261
All right?
239
00:08:14,294 --> 00:08:18,031
I know Hollywood
and I know what's real!
240
00:08:18,065 --> 00:08:20,868
For example, this door is fake.
Not a real door.
241
00:08:20,901 --> 00:08:22,903
It's a "doorn't."
As in "doorn't open this."
242
00:08:22,936 --> 00:08:25,072
And doorn't ruin my dreams!
243
00:08:25,105 --> 00:08:26,006
Okay, Sarge, we just want
244
00:08:26,039 --> 00:08:28,275
to walk through your breakup
step by step.
245
00:08:28,308 --> 00:08:30,153
That doesn't mean we think
you did anything wrong.
246
00:08:30,177 --> 00:08:32,880
Start talking, butthead!
247
00:08:32,913 --> 00:08:36,183
I didn't do anything!
I respect women. I'm a feminist.
248
00:08:36,216 --> 00:08:38,185
I believe women should be
on all the money.
249
00:08:38,218 --> 00:08:41,188
I wanna pay for a sandwich
with a $10 Ellen DeGeneres.
250
00:08:41,221 --> 00:08:44,024
Maybe you hurt Veronica's
feelings without meaning to?
251
00:08:44,057 --> 00:08:46,193
Nope.
I planned the perfect breakup.
252
00:08:46,226 --> 00:08:48,829
We got dinner
at a mid-range restaurant...
253
00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:50,130
Nice enough to show I care,
254
00:08:50,163 --> 00:08:52,833
but not so nice she thought
a proposal was coming.
255
00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:54,902
I even got her
a classy breakup present,
256
00:08:54,935 --> 00:08:57,304
plus a gift receipt, in case
she wanted to exchange it.
257
00:08:57,337 --> 00:09:00,107
And I said just the right words.
258
00:09:00,140 --> 00:09:01,909
You deserve the world.
259
00:09:01,942 --> 00:09:04,011
You deserve someone
that can make you happy
260
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:06,780
and it is the greatest
displeasure of my life
261
00:09:06,814 --> 00:09:08,882
that I cannot be that man.
262
00:09:08,916 --> 00:09:10,784
Thank you, Terrence.
263
00:09:13,020 --> 00:09:15,856
I'm not saying you're lying,
Mr. Jeffers,
264
00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:17,791
but if that's how things
went down,
265
00:09:17,825 --> 00:09:20,794
why is Veronica so angry,
you stupid liar?
266
00:09:20,828 --> 00:09:22,262
- I don't know!
- You don't know.
267
00:09:22,295 --> 00:09:23,931
Well, we could stay here
all night
268
00:09:23,964 --> 00:09:25,341
until your story starts
making sense.
269
00:09:25,365 --> 00:09:26,934
I want to figure this out, too,
270
00:09:26,967 --> 00:09:27,935
but I have to go home
eventually.
271
00:09:27,968 --> 00:09:31,004
You think anyone cares
about your damned plans?
272
00:09:31,038 --> 00:09:33,140
I know I don't.
Do you care, Amy?
273
00:09:33,173 --> 00:09:35,375
No, I don't.
274
00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:38,278
Okay, so remember, this is
Deputy Commissioner Grayson
275
00:09:38,311 --> 00:09:40,013
and his smoking hot wife.
276
00:09:40,047 --> 00:09:41,224
You'll recognize her
because she looks
277
00:09:41,248 --> 00:09:42,950
like an older Patti LuPone.
278
00:09:42,983 --> 00:09:44,861
And you're sure this is
the floor they're staying on?
279
00:09:44,885 --> 00:09:47,855
Yes, I called his secretary
and pretended to be his mother.
280
00:09:47,888 --> 00:09:51,258
Or, should I say,
"The Lady Grayson."
281
00:09:51,291 --> 00:09:52,860
- Very sly.
- It's a little trick
282
00:09:52,893 --> 00:09:54,995
I picked up from
the original bad boy...
283
00:09:55,028 --> 00:09:56,363
a Mr. Bugs Bunny.
284
00:09:56,396 --> 00:09:58,866
Commissioner Grayson,
is that you?
285
00:09:58,899 --> 00:10:00,634
I'm sorry, do I know you?
286
00:10:00,668 --> 00:10:02,111
Raymond Holt.
Captain of the Nine-Nine.
287
00:10:02,135 --> 00:10:05,072
What are you doing here?
Oh, I'm on vacation. You?
288
00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:06,139
- Vacation.
- Vacation.
289
00:10:06,173 --> 00:10:07,274
- Vacation.
- Vacation.
290
00:10:07,307 --> 00:10:11,044
While we're on
the subject of things...
291
00:10:11,078 --> 00:10:12,255
are you by any chance in charge
292
00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:13,690
of the Brooklyn precinct
contraction?
293
00:10:13,714 --> 00:10:15,082
I don't want to talk about that.
294
00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:17,284
If you have an issue,
bring it up with your auditor.
295
00:10:17,317 --> 00:10:20,120
- Well our auditor is actually...
- Listen, fellas.
296
00:10:20,153 --> 00:10:23,991
If you think you're helping your
precinct's cause, you're not.
297
00:10:24,024 --> 00:10:26,159
Hey, sexy. You ready to go?
298
00:10:26,193 --> 00:10:29,663
Oh, that's my goddaughter.
299
00:10:29,697 --> 00:10:31,098
What?
300
00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:33,000
So Grayson's a philanderer.
301
00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:34,410
What's that gotta do
with the price of onions?
302
00:10:34,434 --> 00:10:36,704
I don't know, sir.
This could be an opportunity.
303
00:10:36,737 --> 00:10:39,206
I mean, WWBD, right?
304
00:10:39,239 --> 00:10:40,207
What Would Bugs Do?
305
00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:42,109
Good question.
What would Bugs do?
306
00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:44,111
Bugs would blackmail Grayson.
307
00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:47,014
Then I, sir, am no Bugs.
308
00:10:47,047 --> 00:10:47,948
I won't break the law.
309
00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:50,050
I'm not saying blackmail him
blackmail him.
310
00:10:50,083 --> 00:10:52,152
We just insinuate
that we know what's going on
311
00:10:52,185 --> 00:10:54,221
and let him fill in the blanks.
312
00:10:54,254 --> 00:10:58,125
Oh, so it's like...
he blackmails himself?
313
00:10:58,158 --> 00:10:59,893
Uh-huh, you just go up
to him and say,
314
00:10:59,927 --> 00:11:03,030
"Commissioner Grayson,
how's your... wife?"
315
00:11:03,063 --> 00:11:04,273
Commissioner Grayson,
how's your wife?
316
00:11:04,297 --> 00:11:06,309
No, that just sounds like you
really wanna know how she is.
317
00:11:06,333 --> 00:11:09,336
Insinuate... maybe add a pause
before "wife."
318
00:11:09,369 --> 00:11:12,105
Commissioner Grayson,
how's your...
319
00:11:15,075 --> 00:11:16,043
wife?
320
00:11:16,076 --> 00:11:17,177
- Too long.
- Fouled hit.
321
00:11:17,210 --> 00:11:19,355
Ugh, this is not my strong suit.
No, no, sir, sir, sir.
322
00:11:19,379 --> 00:11:21,348
You're doing great.
Just forget the pause.
323
00:11:21,381 --> 00:11:23,383
Use your eyebrows... like this.
324
00:11:23,416 --> 00:11:26,353
How's your...
"pump, pump, pump" wife.
325
00:11:26,386 --> 00:11:28,321
How's your...
pump, pump, pump wife.
326
00:11:28,355 --> 00:11:30,390
Eh, it was a little bit better
in my head.
327
00:11:30,423 --> 00:11:34,194
Try this. How's your...
"pump" wife "pump, pump."
328
00:11:34,227 --> 00:11:35,462
End on a double pump?
329
00:11:35,495 --> 00:11:37,130
That's risky.
He'll see right through me.
330
00:11:37,164 --> 00:11:38,265
How about...
331
00:11:38,298 --> 00:11:41,468
"Pump, pump"
how's your..."pump"?
332
00:11:41,501 --> 00:11:43,403
- You forgot to say wife.
- Ah, good note.
333
00:11:43,436 --> 00:11:44,371
How 'bout this?
334
00:11:44,404 --> 00:11:49,142
How's your..."pump" wife
"pump" Grayson "pump"?
335
00:11:49,176 --> 00:11:50,410
That's the one.
336
00:11:50,443 --> 00:11:53,013
I really don't think anyone
in the crew would've done it.
337
00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:54,247
We're like a family.
338
00:11:54,281 --> 00:11:56,492
Yes, and as someone who's
about to marry into that family,
339
00:11:56,516 --> 00:11:58,485
so to speak, I tend
to agree with you, Sarah.
340
00:11:58,518 --> 00:12:00,229
It seems highly unlikely
anyone from the crew
341
00:12:00,253 --> 00:12:02,122
or producers would be involved.
342
00:12:02,155 --> 00:12:04,091
Hey, Sarah, what's the status
343
00:12:04,124 --> 00:12:06,093
on the toilet seat heater
for my trailer?
344
00:12:06,126 --> 00:12:07,503
It's day four of cold
butt cheeks going on over here.
345
00:12:07,527 --> 00:12:09,496
I'm sorry, but this
is official police business.
346
00:12:09,529 --> 00:12:12,499
Putting the screws to her?
I got this.
347
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:17,104
Sarah. You're a P.A.
What do you make a year?
348
00:12:17,137 --> 00:12:18,481
Two, three hundred
thousand dollars?
349
00:12:18,505 --> 00:12:19,539
30.
350
00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:20,984
30 hundred thousand dollars
a year?
351
00:12:21,008 --> 00:12:22,776
- 30 thousand.
- Oh. Ooh.
352
00:12:22,810 --> 00:12:25,545
And yet Cassie Sinclair
pulls down millions
353
00:12:25,578 --> 00:12:26,479
sitting on her butt
354
00:12:26,513 --> 00:12:28,315
while you bust your hump
running her errands.
355
00:12:28,348 --> 00:12:29,983
I bet that makes you angry,
356
00:12:30,017 --> 00:12:32,252
angry enough
to steal her laptop?
357
00:12:32,285 --> 00:12:33,386
My gut says yes.
358
00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:36,123
- Okay, that's enough.
- You're right.
359
00:12:36,156 --> 00:12:36,924
She's not gonna talk.
360
00:12:36,957 --> 00:12:39,526
Sometimes I wonder
why I do this job.
361
00:12:39,559 --> 00:12:41,995
You don't.
362
00:12:42,029 --> 00:12:44,798
Okay, what about the
Executive Producer, Gary Lurmax?
363
00:12:44,832 --> 00:12:46,342
Do you know where he was
on the night of the robbery?
364
00:12:46,366 --> 00:12:48,535
He's normally in his office
after wrap.
365
00:12:48,568 --> 00:12:50,838
Although, last night he did
ask me to tell him
366
00:12:50,871 --> 00:12:52,139
when Cassie left her trailer.
367
00:12:52,172 --> 00:12:54,307
Hm, interesting.
368
00:12:54,341 --> 00:12:57,077
Or completely useless.
No way to know for sure.
369
00:12:57,110 --> 00:13:00,147
Sarah, one more question.
Those donuts, are they...
370
00:13:00,180 --> 00:13:01,424
- They're all free.
- Okay, great.
371
00:13:01,448 --> 00:13:03,459
Yeah, I wanted to make sure
Cassie was out of her trailer
372
00:13:03,483 --> 00:13:04,818
because we were running behind,
373
00:13:04,852 --> 00:13:06,286
and we needed to make our day.
374
00:13:06,319 --> 00:13:08,159
Is that normally
an Executive Producer's job?
375
00:13:08,188 --> 00:13:09,465
Well, I'm trying
to be more hands on...
376
00:13:09,489 --> 00:13:11,859
Network pressure, overages.
Overages, sure.
377
00:13:11,892 --> 00:13:13,293
I get those on my cell phone.
378
00:13:13,326 --> 00:13:15,295
You know, it's been great
watching you work.
379
00:13:15,328 --> 00:13:16,605
Could I introduce you
to the writers?
380
00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:18,531
It'd just take
a couple of minutes, tops.
381
00:13:18,565 --> 00:13:20,433
They're very awkward.
382
00:13:20,467 --> 00:13:22,135
They can't talk
much longer than that.
383
00:13:22,169 --> 00:13:23,370
Lead the way, hombre.
384
00:13:23,403 --> 00:13:24,371
Hey, if you name
a character after me,
385
00:13:24,404 --> 00:13:27,174
that could be his catch phrase.
I love that.
386
00:13:27,207 --> 00:13:29,242
- Thank you, Gare Bear.
- I'll go grab 'em.
387
00:13:29,276 --> 00:13:32,179
- Great.
- Hey, man.
388
00:13:32,212 --> 00:13:34,381
Focus up.
We have a case to work.
389
00:13:34,414 --> 00:13:35,558
That's why we gotta
meet the writers.
390
00:13:35,582 --> 00:13:36,592
I mean, one of them
probably did it.
391
00:13:36,616 --> 00:13:38,051
You heard Gary...
They're awkward.
392
00:13:38,085 --> 00:13:39,195
They're probably all perverts.
393
00:13:39,219 --> 00:13:40,187
Jake, wake up.
394
00:13:40,220 --> 00:13:42,255
You're being manipulated
by our prime suspect.
395
00:13:42,289 --> 00:13:44,324
He's not our prime suspect,
all right?
396
00:13:44,357 --> 00:13:47,394
He's subprime at best.
397
00:13:47,427 --> 00:13:49,296
Subprime mortgage crisis
reference.
398
00:13:49,329 --> 00:13:50,597
The point is,
399
00:13:50,630 --> 00:13:52,341
you just have to
think the worst of everyone
400
00:13:52,365 --> 00:13:53,910
because that's how you see life.
It's sad.
401
00:13:53,934 --> 00:13:55,602
You're sad
and you're being a bad cop.
402
00:13:55,635 --> 00:13:57,413
All right, I know you're just
trying to hurt my feelings,
403
00:13:57,437 --> 00:13:59,339
but I'm in such a good mood
about all of this
404
00:13:59,372 --> 00:14:00,616
that there's literally
nothing you can say
405
00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:01,674
that'll bring me down.
406
00:14:01,708 --> 00:14:04,177
"Lead the way, hombre"
is a terrible catchphrase.
407
00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:08,916
Nice try trying to hurt
my feelings 'cause you didn't.
408
00:14:13,686 --> 00:14:17,157
Looks like they left
housekeeping one hell of a tip.
409
00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:19,659
A finger tip.
410
00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:22,162
And that's how I would lift up
a bloody finger with my pen.
411
00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:23,897
That is great.
412
00:14:23,931 --> 00:14:25,933
Oh, in this episode,
the perp is a cannibal.
413
00:14:25,966 --> 00:14:27,467
Should I aim
away from his stomach
414
00:14:27,500 --> 00:14:28,677
so I don't taint the evidence?
415
00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:29,602
Yeah, that's definitely
416
00:14:29,636 --> 00:14:31,972
how I take down a cannibal
when I do it.
417
00:14:32,005 --> 00:14:33,573
Right.
418
00:14:33,606 --> 00:14:34,407
What are you doing?
419
00:14:34,441 --> 00:14:36,043
Talking to Cassie
and the writers,
420
00:14:36,076 --> 00:14:37,644
who, b-t-dubs, all have alibis.
421
00:14:37,677 --> 00:14:40,180
Also, Gary said that the studio
approved us as producers.
422
00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:42,649
I'm having my agent
look over the paperwork.
423
00:14:42,682 --> 00:14:44,184
Okay, fine,
I don't have an agent.
424
00:14:44,217 --> 00:14:45,694
I'm using
my parents' divorce attorney.
425
00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:47,187
He's my uncle. He was disbarred.
426
00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:49,156
Well, while you were
off in fantasy land,
427
00:14:49,189 --> 00:14:51,024
I solved the case.
428
00:14:51,058 --> 00:14:54,227
Wait a minute, Rosa!
429
00:14:54,261 --> 00:14:56,039
Security camera
across from Cassie's trailer
430
00:14:56,063 --> 00:14:58,966
caught this yesterday.
Gare Bear took the laptop?
431
00:14:58,999 --> 00:15:02,069
Come on. No one could've
seen this coming.
432
00:15:02,102 --> 00:15:05,172
Except for you.
You saw it coming, obviously.
433
00:15:06,673 --> 00:15:08,475
Hey there, bud.
434
00:15:08,508 --> 00:15:10,944
We've been going for a while...
You feeling hungry?
435
00:15:10,978 --> 00:15:13,713
Starving, thanks. Oh, come on!
436
00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:16,083
You get a yogurt
when I get the truth.
437
00:15:16,116 --> 00:15:17,717
Oh God, it's in the grout.
438
00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:19,219
It's gonna smell in here
forever.
439
00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:21,321
I told you,
I did everything right.
440
00:15:21,354 --> 00:15:24,191
I even gave Veronica plenty
of time after her mom's death.
441
00:15:24,224 --> 00:15:25,625
Wait, what does that mean?
442
00:15:25,658 --> 00:15:28,228
I was gonna break up with her,
but then her mom passed,
443
00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:31,098
so, like a gentleman, I waited.
444
00:15:31,131 --> 00:15:32,308
That way she wouldn't
have to deal with
445
00:15:32,332 --> 00:15:33,733
too much pain all at once.
446
00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:35,502
How long did you wait, Jeffords?
447
00:15:35,535 --> 00:15:37,204
I don't know, a year,
year and a half.
448
00:15:37,237 --> 00:15:38,305
- Sarge!
- Seriously?
449
00:15:38,338 --> 00:15:40,640
What? I was being considerate.
450
00:15:40,673 --> 00:15:43,576
Believe me, she had her fun
for those 18 months.
451
00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:45,045
- Terry puts out.
- All right.
452
00:15:45,078 --> 00:15:48,048
Also, there's no way
she even knows I waited.
453
00:15:48,081 --> 00:15:49,525
The gift you bought her,
did you buy it
454
00:15:49,549 --> 00:15:51,160
when you first wanted
to break up with her
455
00:15:51,184 --> 00:15:52,519
or when you finally did it?
456
00:15:52,552 --> 00:15:56,056
The first time!
But why would that matter...
457
00:15:57,757 --> 00:15:58,992
The gift receipt.
458
00:15:59,026 --> 00:16:00,627
They all break eventually.
459
00:16:00,660 --> 00:16:03,163
Get him out of my sight.
460
00:16:03,196 --> 00:16:07,267
Ah, Commissioner Grayson.
461
00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:10,637
Captain Holt, I told you,
I'm not going to get involved.
462
00:16:10,670 --> 00:16:12,072
I know.
463
00:16:12,105 --> 00:16:14,141
I just wanted to say...
to you...
464
00:16:14,174 --> 00:16:17,144
What's wrong with your face?
Do I need to call a doctor?
465
00:16:17,177 --> 00:16:19,079
No, I'm clearly trying
to communicate...
466
00:16:19,112 --> 00:16:21,548
Captain! There you are.
467
00:16:21,581 --> 00:16:24,284
We have an... emergency.
I'm taking care of it.
468
00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:25,785
Okay, I don't know what this is.
469
00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:28,188
But I'm going to leave.
470
00:16:28,221 --> 00:16:30,290
Why did you stop me?
471
00:16:30,323 --> 00:16:32,025
I was making progress.
I know, sir.
472
00:16:32,059 --> 00:16:33,693
But I have to say something.
473
00:16:33,726 --> 00:16:36,696
I love the Nine-Nine.
And the main reason why is you.
474
00:16:36,729 --> 00:16:37,797
Not Jake.
475
00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:38,874
Yes, clearly, it's mostly Jake.
476
00:16:38,898 --> 00:16:42,069
But it's also you
and the standard that you've set
477
00:16:42,102 --> 00:16:44,204
for us with
your unwavering morals.
478
00:16:44,237 --> 00:16:45,705
I'd rather we split up
479
00:16:45,738 --> 00:16:49,242
than stay together
and compromise who we are.
480
00:16:49,276 --> 00:16:52,045
Well, thank you, Boyle.
You're right.
481
00:16:52,079 --> 00:16:54,214
No matter what happens,
we'll feel better knowing
482
00:16:54,247 --> 00:16:56,183
we didn't resort to blackmail.
483
00:16:56,216 --> 00:16:58,185
I agree. From now on,
484
00:16:58,218 --> 00:17:02,089
the only black male I want
anything to do with is you.
485
00:17:03,256 --> 00:17:05,158
That was incredibly
inappropriate.
486
00:17:05,192 --> 00:17:06,269
I know, but I had thought of it
487
00:17:06,293 --> 00:17:08,261
and I was so proud,
I just had to say it out loud.
488
00:17:08,295 --> 00:17:09,696
- Let's just go.
- Great.
489
00:17:11,398 --> 00:17:12,741
What's going on?
You can't just come in here.
490
00:17:12,765 --> 00:17:14,267
- We have a warrant.
- Boom!
491
00:17:14,301 --> 00:17:16,269
And that's a real one,
not a prop.
492
00:17:16,303 --> 00:17:17,743
Or have you forgotten
the difference?
493
00:17:17,770 --> 00:17:19,339
Even when it comes to people?
What?
494
00:17:19,372 --> 00:17:22,209
"People" is me.
You used me like a prop.
495
00:17:22,242 --> 00:17:23,852
I thought it was pretty clear.
Rosa got it.
496
00:17:23,876 --> 00:17:26,079
- Nope.
- Detectives, you don't know
497
00:17:26,113 --> 00:17:27,214
what you're talking about.
498
00:17:27,247 --> 00:17:28,815
- Found it.
- Oh, look at that.
499
00:17:28,848 --> 00:17:31,818
Security cam caught you
breaking into Cassie's trailer
500
00:17:31,851 --> 00:17:32,895
and walking off
with this backpack.
501
00:17:32,919 --> 00:17:35,288
You know what, you Hollywood
types make me sick.
502
00:17:35,322 --> 00:17:36,289
- Detective...
- For the record,
503
00:17:36,323 --> 00:17:38,091
your show stinks.
504
00:17:38,125 --> 00:17:40,203
I've watched over 200 episode
of it and I've never liked one.
505
00:17:40,227 --> 00:17:42,395
- Open the bag, Detective.
- Happy to.
506
00:17:42,429 --> 00:17:44,097
I can't wait to see
the look on your face
507
00:17:44,131 --> 00:17:47,700
when I pull out Cassie's compu...
Just a bunch of pills.
508
00:17:47,734 --> 00:17:49,802
Cassie has a painkiller problem.
509
00:17:49,836 --> 00:17:51,771
The show tries
to protect her from herself.
510
00:17:51,804 --> 00:17:53,673
That's why I was surprised
she called the cops,
511
00:17:53,706 --> 00:17:55,342
but thanks for busting in here
512
00:17:55,375 --> 00:17:58,778
and telling me
how much you hate my show.
513
00:17:58,811 --> 00:18:00,747
And scene.
514
00:18:00,780 --> 00:18:03,116
That was a great example
of a cop making a mistake.
515
00:18:03,150 --> 00:18:04,193
That's the kind of thing
we can go over more
516
00:18:04,217 --> 00:18:05,828
when I come in on Monday
for my first day of work.
517
00:18:05,852 --> 00:18:06,962
No, you can forget
about the job.
518
00:18:06,986 --> 00:18:09,289
But you're still gonna name
a character after me?
519
00:18:11,324 --> 00:18:13,326
Well, I think
we figured out her size:
520
00:18:13,360 --> 00:18:18,298
34 Double Dead.
521
00:18:18,331 --> 00:18:19,499
- You all right, man?
- No.
522
00:18:19,532 --> 00:18:22,369
Could have been Detective
Peralta saying that perfect pun.
523
00:18:22,402 --> 00:18:24,337
I'm sorry the consulting job
didn't work out.
524
00:18:24,371 --> 00:18:25,614
Do you wanna head back
and do some more interviews?
525
00:18:25,638 --> 00:18:26,749
What's the point?
You were right.
526
00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:27,840
Everything sucks.
527
00:18:27,874 --> 00:18:29,309
We're never gonna solve
the case,
528
00:18:29,342 --> 00:18:30,419
I'll never work
in show business,
529
00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:31,344
and I'll never drink
another smoothie.
530
00:18:31,378 --> 00:18:33,480
Now you're getting it.
Everything is awful.
531
00:18:33,513 --> 00:18:34,723
Our precinct is getting
shut down
532
00:18:34,747 --> 00:18:36,416
and we're never gonna
work together again.
533
00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:38,494
I'll end up living in a car
with a dog I can't feed
534
00:18:38,518 --> 00:18:40,653
playing sad songs on a harmonica
I can't afford.
535
00:18:40,687 --> 00:18:41,797
Never gonna
see each other again.
536
00:18:41,821 --> 00:18:43,766
The harmonica will get
repossessed, I'll be all alone
537
00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:45,858
with my hungry dog
and harmonica-less silence.
538
00:18:45,892 --> 00:18:47,760
And we won't be friends anymore.
539
00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:49,496
Wait, what?
540
00:18:49,529 --> 00:18:51,740
You don't actually think that
we won't be friends anymore
541
00:18:51,764 --> 00:18:53,733
if the precinct gets shut down?
542
00:18:53,766 --> 00:18:58,805
Rosa, we will never
not be friends.
543
00:19:00,707 --> 00:19:02,642
Thanks, man.
544
00:19:02,675 --> 00:19:03,843
- Get your hand off me.
- Yep.
545
00:19:03,876 --> 00:19:05,745
Forgot the Rosa rule.
546
00:19:05,778 --> 00:19:07,547
No touchy.
547
00:19:08,848 --> 00:19:10,550
Oh, my God.
548
00:19:10,583 --> 00:19:12,352
I just solved the case.
549
00:19:12,385 --> 00:19:15,722
Season 8, episode 16, in which
Detective Cole Tracker
550
00:19:15,755 --> 00:19:17,790
catches
the Brooklyn Bra Butcher.
551
00:19:17,824 --> 00:19:19,659
While wearing gloves.
552
00:19:19,692 --> 00:19:21,794
But Detective Peralta,
I thought Mark said
553
00:19:21,828 --> 00:19:23,796
his character never wears gloves
on the show.
554
00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:26,633
Oh, now that you mention it,
that does ring a bell.
555
00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:29,802
- That's my move.
- Oh, I'm aware.
556
00:19:29,836 --> 00:19:31,338
You told us
you never wore gloves
557
00:19:31,371 --> 00:19:34,341
when you picked up
Cassie's laptop bag.
558
00:19:34,374 --> 00:19:35,675
A double Tracker.
559
00:19:35,708 --> 00:19:37,377
You wanted us
to see you holding the bag
560
00:19:37,410 --> 00:19:38,621
because your prints
were already on it.
561
00:19:38,645 --> 00:19:39,822
From when you stole the laptop.
562
00:19:39,846 --> 00:19:41,581
Cassie's only been on the show
two years,
563
00:19:41,614 --> 00:19:43,650
but there's already talk
of her getting a spin-off.
564
00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:45,285
You were gonna post
her personal photos
565
00:19:45,318 --> 00:19:46,919
- and humiliate her.
- Ridiculous.
566
00:19:46,953 --> 00:19:49,522
I've never been more insulted
in my life.
567
00:19:49,556 --> 00:19:51,424
Your theory is outrageous.
568
00:19:51,458 --> 00:19:53,560
And what's more,
it's just a theory.
569
00:19:53,593 --> 00:19:55,595
I don't know how cops
around here do things,
570
00:19:55,628 --> 00:19:57,397
but where I come from,
we're burdened
571
00:19:57,430 --> 00:19:58,907
with a little thing
we like to call evidence,
572
00:19:58,931 --> 00:20:03,336
of which you don't have a shred.
573
00:20:03,370 --> 00:20:05,505
We found Cassie's laptop
in the trunk of your car.
574
00:20:05,538 --> 00:20:06,849
I stand correct.
Yeah, you got me.
575
00:20:06,873 --> 00:20:08,441
I did it. Good job.
576
00:20:09,942 --> 00:20:12,779
- Terrence.
- Veronica.
577
00:20:12,812 --> 00:20:15,515
I'm sorry for how I handled
our breakup back in the day.
578
00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:18,851
I was trying to be a good guy,
to be nice.
579
00:20:18,885 --> 00:20:21,821
But sometimes,
to be nice to someone,
580
00:20:21,854 --> 00:20:24,591
it means you have to be
honest with them,
581
00:20:24,624 --> 00:20:26,526
even if it hurts their feelings.
582
00:20:26,559 --> 00:20:28,961
Thank you for saying that.
583
00:20:28,995 --> 00:20:30,663
Now you don't have to
forgive me,
584
00:20:30,697 --> 00:20:33,633
but could you please at least
give the precinct a shot?
585
00:20:33,666 --> 00:20:37,504
- I would love to do that.
- Thank you so much!
586
00:20:37,537 --> 00:20:39,706
Except I've already
turned in my report.
587
00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:42,609
Was it... positive?
588
00:20:42,642 --> 00:20:43,743
No.
589
00:20:43,776 --> 00:20:46,679
It was real bad.
590
00:20:49,716 --> 00:20:51,984
♪
591
00:20:52,018 --> 00:20:54,421
I made this saddle
out of your sister.
592
00:20:54,454 --> 00:20:55,764
And now I'm going to put it
on your back.
593
00:20:55,788 --> 00:20:57,524
And your sister and I are
gonna trot you
594
00:20:57,557 --> 00:20:59,392
all around the apartment.
595
00:20:59,426 --> 00:21:00,460
What's wrong with you?
596
00:21:00,493 --> 00:21:04,397
I'm Jake Peralta, the grossest
pervert of all time.
597
00:21:04,431 --> 00:21:05,665
Hi-ya! NYPD!
598
00:21:05,698 --> 00:21:07,900
You're under arrest,
you unbelievable creep!
599
00:21:07,934 --> 00:21:09,636
You'll never take me alive!
600
00:21:18,845 --> 00:21:21,013
Rot in hell, Jake Peralta.
601
00:21:22,449 --> 00:21:24,684
They used my name!
602
00:21:26,686 --> 00:21:28,421
- Not a doctor.
- Shh.
46229
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