All language subtitles for fireball.xl5.s01e03

- Okay Venus?

- Okay Steve.

Right
, let's go.

- The mini space video-graph

is taking a long time to warm up, Minotor,

but then it is a long way to work.

- I'm well aware of that, Minotran,

632 light years, two light month

and one light day to be precise.

- Another oxygen pill
quick, I can't breath.

Oxygen pill.

- Oh, I almost forgot,

it's time to give the Earth
savage another oxygen pill.

- We don't want him to die

before his fellow savages arrive, do we?

- And don't let it float
away this time, Earth savage.

- Now hear this, now hear this--

- There we are, the MSV picture.

- This is Commander Zero,
this is Commander Zero,

New Earth space immigration party

prepare to board Mayflower Three.

Takeoff in one, zero minutes.

Good luck everyone.

- Not a bad picture.

- Not bad.

- But you know, I find Space
City pathetically primitive.

- But the Earth savages
will make useful slaves

for we Lilispatians.

All we have to do is to sit back

and wait for them to fall into our trap.

It won't be long now.

- It won't be long now.

- And we shall be on our way to join Ross

to start a new era in space history.

- The founding of New Earth,

it's the greatest adventure
since the pilgrim fathers

way back in ancient history.

According to Ross' reports,
it's a great planet.

- I wish you were coming with us, Steve.

-So do I.

I'm not entirely sure

that I approve of a space
expedition led by a woman.

Don't worry, Professor,

Venus has got you and Robert to rely on.

Besides, don't let that
pretty face fool you,

she's got brains.

- I wish Jock thought so.

- That'll be Jock.

His ears must be burning.

- I don't know about my ears burning,

but I'll go up in blue smoke soon

if the hydro-crane operator
doesn't pull his socks on.

- How much have you
still gotta load, Jock?

- Just one more piece of the AT machine,

should be perfectly simple,
but this hydro-crane operator,

oh, he's almost as bad as a woman.

- There, what did I tell you, Professor?

- Yeah, I see what you mean,
Venus, but he's real upset,

he treats that AT
machine just like a baby.

- Just as well, without it,

we'd never be able to
colonize New Earth at all,

there just wouldn't be enough
oxygen pills for everyone.

- Such a beautiful planet,

rich in everything
except the air we breath.

- And eh, very low gravity too, remember.

- No problem, as soon as
the atmo-plant is going,

it won't take long to get

a gravity densification project going.

Meanwhile, might you
keep your lead boots on.

- Oh, my feet are killing me already.

- Well, there goes the last
component of the AT machine now.

- Easy man, easy.

Keep her steady.

Now you keep her like
that and you'll be okay.

Suffering space cats, a blithering idiot!

- That's done it, the dynamo's
stuck in the hatchway.

- I'd better get down there to lend a hand

before Jock goes into orbit.

- I haven't laughed so much
since the Martian circus

came to Lilispatia.

- A woman couldn't have done worse!

Oh Colonel Zodiac, thank goodness.

Did you ever see such a mess?

And we were due to takeoff ages ago.

- Don't worry, Jock, I
think I've got the answer.

Here, catch.

I'm going to see if I can't
haul it out on my jet mobile.

- Do you think it'll work?

It's worth a try.

- Okay Colonel.

- Right.

Here goes.

- He's not going to make it.

- Oh, I nearly came off that time.

- Ah, well done, Colonel.

- A good opportunity to get that robot

to do that little job for us.

- The microwave transmitter
controller is tuned in.

- Commence control transmission.

AT-ov.

- Robert,

Professor,

put the kettle on.

Robert,

Robert,

Robert.e

- Now watch what you're doing
with that valuable object.

Take it carefully.

Look, don't be as careless with my haggis

as you were with the machinery.

- A haggis, Jock, what do you
want a haggis on board for?

- You don't think I'd
arrive on a new planet

without a haggis, do you?

It's our national Scottish dish.

- How you can eat the
stuff, I'll never know.

Well I'd better get back and
call up Ross at New Earth.

- No doubt they'll be calling our prisoner

on the space radio soon.

We'd better switch on the auto-imitator.

Are you tuned to Ross' frequency?

- Yes, Minotran, all is ready.

- What are you gonna do?

- We are going to produce
your voice electronically

and no one will know the difference.

- Mayflower Three, stand
by for takeoff once again.

Steve's just calling up Ross to make sure

everything's okay his end.

Then it's all yours, Venus.

- Thank you, Commander.

- Space City to Ross on New Earth,

Space City to Ross on New Earth, over.

Space
Lieutenant Ross to Space City.

Space Lieutenant Ross to Space City.

Receiving you strength alpha, over.

- Steve here, Ross.

Mayflower ready for takeoff.

Is everything okay your end?

Everything's fine, Steve.

It's a wonderful planet, this New Earth.

All prepared for Mayflower's arrival.

Can't wait to see those
happy smiling Earth faces.

You tell Jock there's
even Heather growing here.

Over.

- Okay Ross, maintain contact.

Out.

Did you hear that, Jock?

- I'll believe that when
I see it for myself.

- Clear for takeoff.

- All systems here are at go.

- Roger, all systems go.

Full power, go go go.

- Next stop, New Earth.

- Generators two, reactors three.

Oh dear, I don't feel so good.

Still, what can you expect
with a woman driver?

Oh, my stomach's not so good.

- Eh, well well, I,

we'll see if we're on the right course.

Jumping space fish!

What is it?

Hm.

Funny sort of a cushion.

- What are you doing with my haggis?

- What is your haggis doing on my chair?

- My haggis on your chair?

Well I don't know.

Haggis, |--

- Say,

say eh, hey Jock, what's the matter?

Well this is serious, I
must get Venus right away.

- Poor old Jock.

- Mm, some rare sort
of disease, I suppose.

- No Professor, very common,

a simple case of acute appendicitis.

He's in a pretty bad way, Professor,

he should be operated on immediately.

- Yet, there's no time
to get him back to Earth.

- I doubt whether he'd make it.

We'll have to perform
an emergency operation.

- Just tell me what I
can do to help, Venus.

- First of all, I shall need
something to kill the pain.

In my laboratory, in the medicine chest,

where the oxygen pills are kept,

you'll see some anaesthesia tablets.

- I'll get them right away.

- Well Jock, I'm afraid you're really

at the mercy of a woman now.

- Well if it had to be a woman,
I'm glad it was you, Venus.

I mean, Dr. Venus.

- Now now, you are to behave yourself.

Now Jock, I am going to give you a pill.

To put me out, you mean?

- That's what she thinks.

- They'll try to call
Space City in a moment

when they discover that the
drug cabinet has been cleared.

- I'll be the transmitter
jabber on Space City

so that all contact is cut off.

You'd better prepare the auto-imitator

to copy Steve Zodiac's voice.

- Empty!

Everything's gone!

This is crazy.

- Robert.

Robert.

Professor, put the kettle on.

Robert.

Now, not now, Lazoon,

no time for fun and games now.

- Everything go okay?

- Preliminary tests seem to be okay.

Any news from Venus?

- We're just about to
give them a routine call.

Stick around and you can
have a word with her.

- Space City to Mayflower Three,

Space City to Mayflower Three, over.

- What do you mean there aren't any?

- I tell you, Venus, the drug
cabinet is completely empty.

- But the oxygen pills.

- Gone too, every one of them.

- Sabotage?

- What else?

- Get back to the main
control cabin, Professor,

and call up Steve as quickly as you can.

He'll know what to do.

I must stay with Jock.

Right away, Venus.

- The pain is terrible, Doctor.

- Space City to Mayflower
Three, come in please, over.

- Are you sure you're on
the correct frequency?

- Sure Steve, it was all
preset before takeoff.

- Then somebody is jamming.

- But who or why?

- That, with your permission, Commander,

is exactly what I'm going to find out.

- Mayflower Three to Space City,

Mayflower Three to Space city.

Space
City to Mayflower Three.

Space City to Mayflower
Three, Steve here, over.

- Oh, it's uh, it's a relief
to hear your voice, Steve.

I've been trying to get
through for a long time.

Eh, I think we'll have to return to base.

Jock has to have an emergency operation

and someone's stolen our drugs.

Don't
be a tooty, Professor,

you're more than three quarters
of the way to New Earth,

carry on and I'll bring you
all you need in Fireball.

I'll easily overtake you.

Now what is necessary for the operation?

- Keep trying, Lieutenant
Ninety, you may get through.

- Space City to Mayflower Three.

- There goes Steve.

- Oh eh, Steve, most important of all,

bring some oxygen pills.

Our entire supply is missing.

Leave
it to me, Professor.

I'll see you on New Earth.

Over and out.

- Well, that certainly
fooled the learned professor.

What a surprise they'll
get when they realise

it was never Steve Zodiac's voice at all.

- We will allow the beautiful Earth woman

to operate when they arrive.

We have all the necessary supplies here.

- It will be yet another slave for us.

We need all the lab our we can
get to develop this planet

and their primitive machinery
will be quite useful too.

- Thank goodness Steve is coming.

- Do you, do you think Jock
is uh, is gonna make it?

- Keep your fingers crossed.

- Isn't there anything
more practical I can do?

- Yes, you can use your ingenuity

to set up the laboratory
as an operating theater.

- Leave it to me, Venus.

- Any news from Mayflower, Commander?

- No Steve, the frequency is still jammed.

- They should be almost there.

I shouldn't be too far behind them

if it's not too late already.

- Eh, there.

Well I, I hope it'll do.

Now, I hope I've remembered
to latch everything down.

It's gonna be a tricky business,

performing an operation in
New Earth's low gravity.

- Better get your lead
boots on, Professor,

we're approaching New Earth.

- That's okay, I'm wearing them, Venus.

Boy, are they killing me.

How is Jock?

Pretty bad.

I've left Robert with him
with orders to guard him

in case he tries to get up.

He's delirious I'm afraid.

I sure will be glad to see Steve.

- But where's Steve?

He said he would be here.

- No sign of him, but uh,

there appears to be some sort
of minute building over there.

Welcome to New Earth,

the Lilispatians welcome you
to a life of idealic slavery.

- The Lilispatians?

- The most powerful and most
evil brains in the Universe.

- Before we put you to work,

we're going to allow you to operate

on your sickly Earth friend,

but do not try any childish tricks.

The Earth man Ross is our prisoner

and we hold the vital
supply of oxygen tablets.

- Oh, if only Steve were
here, he'd know what to do.

- What about Robert,
he doesn't need oxygen.

- Your robot will not be able to help you.

We have control of him.

We ordered him to dispose
of your oxygen pills

and he obeyed.

If you wanna save the life
of your miserable Earth man,

proceed immediately with the operation.

Do not attempt to leave the spaceship

or your friend, Ross, will die.

- The Lilispatians, so that's it,

the little men who fear nothing.

Wait a minute though, there is something.

Yeah, that's it!

- Scalpel.

- Scalpel.

- Swab.

- Swab.

- Most entertaining.

- Sheer butchery.

- Oh well done, Professor Matic,

I don't know what I would
have done without you.

Don't mention
it, Venus, it's uh,

all part of the service.

Well, Earthlings,

you'd better get a good night's rest,

you're going to need it.

- That awful voice.

- It's so weird.

Oh, if only Steve would come.

- All right, we can switch off
the mini space video-graph.

- They can't leave the
spaceship without oxygen pills

so there's nothing they can do.

- Come on, Lazoon, let's go hunting, huh?

- Okay Lazoon, go get 'em.

- The dreaded Lazoon, the space monster!

We'll do
anything you say, Earth man,

but please, call the creature off.

- Welcome home.

- This one talks.

- I can't stand it, they
just scare me to death.

- Howdy small.

- Oh, help us, Steve Zodiac, help us.

- Please Steve, Steve Zodiac,

please don't leave us
with creepy crawly Lazoon.

- They're just like
snakes to us, oh please.

- Oh dear, oh stop him.
- Help!

- Help, help I can't stand it.

Oh please!

- All right, Lazoon, I'll take over now.

Good boy.

That's right, Commander Zero,

Ross is on his way back in Mayflower Three

with our prisoners to
pick up fresh supplies.

See you in a few days.

Over and out.

Okay Robert, take over,

I'm gonna join the others in the lounge.

- Well how are you feeling, Jock?

- Well he sure looks fine, Venus.

- I can see you've done a
good job on your patient,

Dr. Venus.

- Well you haven't done so
badly yourself, Colonel Zodiac.

- Well, when you two have
finished complimenting each other,

can the patient say a word or two?

- I guess we've hardly no choice.

- Well in view of events,
as they've turned out,

I think we should have a wee celebration.

So I've decided to share my
haggis with the lot of you.

- I thought you said a celebration, Jock,

that's more like a punishment.

- Now now Steve, don't be so ungrateful.

- I uh, I hate to tell you folks,

but someone has beaten us to it.

- Well that just about
completes my run of bad luck.

Sun,

I'll say one thing for that
Lazoon of yours, Venus,

hm, he's certainly got good taste.

J' I wish I was a spaceman,
the fastest guy alive J'

J' I'd fly you around the
Universe in Fireball XL5 J'

I Way out 'm space together I

I Conquerors oi the sky a'

J' My heart would be a
fireball, a fireball J'

J' Every time I gazed
into your starry eyes J'

J' We'd take the path to
Jupiter and maybe very soon J'

J' We'd cruise along the Milky
Way and land upon the moon J'

J' To a wonderland of stardust,
we'll zoom our way to Mars J'

J' My heart would be a
fireball, a fireball J'

J' If you would be my Venus of the stars J'